#pathetically down bad azriel is canon i don’t make the rules

[emmitaaa4]

Azriel being petty towards Lucien for no good reason other than him being Elain’s mate will always be funny to me & im tired of pretending like it’s not.

“He’s so immature” “the one sided beef is crazy” i actually dont care, Azriel is loosing the idgaf war and i want more of it. Like if you aren’t changing addresses bc being around me is too much & if your nightstand isn’t an altar in my effigy, then what are you doing ??

Mind you, bro is not even loosing the idgaf war because there is no war, he’s just alone in the trenches fighting air 😭

He’s out here refusing to do his duties by not keeping track of Lucien bc he gives too much of a fuck, dissing the bond’s scent, counting gifts & staring at a tylenol bottle (& atp probably ear plugs)(re: altar) every night, being all like “woe is me i dont deserve Elain or anything good” but also “man fuck that guy he dont deserve her either, matter of fact now that you mention it i could take him in a fight—”

Pleaseee lmao. Me personally, if my man isnt pathetically down bad for me then i dont want it.

“Ouuu i’m so impassive and cool no one can see through my shadows—” Azriel, babe, the nonchalant act isn’t fooling anyone. Well apart from Cassian. But no one else.

*disclaimer: i can smell the “self-insert 🫵” claims—this is a joke. no this doesnt go into the nuances of the characters and their dynamics. yes i want more of pathetically down bad Az and yes he does need therapy.