#pathetic midwest emo ass | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

phthalominekitty · 2 years ago

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glass danse.

9/1/2001

my favorite band is the faint. just so you know.

there was anticipation, and it was building all the more as i packed up the car. i remembered my cell phone and the batteries for the hello kitty cd player. what a pity that the big gaping hole where the radio should be didn't just spout music. good music. batteries were a necessity. when you're driving three hundred miles to see a band play, you want music to get you jumping in the car seats instead of driving automaton style. the midwest does not exactly provide breathtaking scenery. sandy was ready and waiting when i picked her up, and we started off with a lot of money and a full tank of gas.

it was a long drive. sandy played navigator in the front seat, and we listened to tapes of goth rock, billy idol, and random mixes of sophie-ness. from six months ago.

when we finally got to urbana, illinois, we were a bit suprised to see it had a twin: champaign. that brought the population to around 90,000. jackson has around 70,000. both jackson and urbana/champaign are college towns. so it was like a metro jackson. we got into town at five o'clock. the traffic was horrible, but we finally found the venue… if you could call it that. it took asking for directions in a gas station before we realized that it was inside the university student union building. since we had the important location down, we took on the task of finding an affordable motel. i was too lazy to search, so we did travelodge. it cost us fifty bucks to stay the night, but we had two beds and hbo, so it was all good.

sandy and i showered, then donned our concert costumes. my fairly normal attire consisted of tan plaid pants, turquoise tank top, black-laced converse, and a light brown cardigan that was super tight. the cardigan that is the bearer of my eighties pinback buttons. heehee. sandy wore a red tank top and gray tech skirt, red sparkle tights and black maryjanes. we were stylin'. until we stepped out and it started to rain. by the time we arrived at the show's location, we were half-soaked and a bit fed up. at least i was, but what could i have done? i didn't even think to bring an umbrella…

anyway, the people filtered in. everyone looked like they'd come out of the same emo mold. nearly all the girls looked boring. all the boys were in thick black glasses. trainers and flight bags and cropped pants were everywhere. dyed black hair was everywhere. little denim jackets were everywhere. the first band was defender, and they sucked ass. the second band was dms. they sucked ass too. both of them sounded like they were trying to be like the faint, only without vocals. that just made them suck more. everyone just bobbed their heads and stood around trying to look hip-trendy-and-cool. so that's when i bought my merchandise.

there was one point where i took a quick trip to the bathroom and proclaimed loudly "if people don't dance, i'll be pissed. this is getting pathetic." the one goth girl there overheard, and said nothing. maybe she wasn't planning on dancing. i suppose that statement was a foreshadowing of sorts for the rest of the night.

when the faint came on, started setting up, the entire crowd pushed forward. i said, "fuck it", and went to the back. the music started. "hi, we're the faint". and i danced. sandy danced. i have no words for that, it was just… perfect. my eyes hit the sky, the stage, the red flashing lights as i spun. i jumped, i moved, i was magic and i FELT IT. it hit me so hard, i was dizzy with euphoric bliss. it was so… it was fucking awesome.

but guess what? NO ONE DANCED. three other people danced besides sandy and i. there was little movement in the crowd. those people made me confused. how could they go to a faint show and not dance? it could have made my night worse, but it made it better. "i'll show you". so i dismissed them, and i danced better, the music was louder, the feeling was stronger. i flew across the floor. people stared. how near perfect it was. if only i wasn't surrounded by deadbeats. but oh well. no matter. i was the one having a better time. and that may or may not be true, but i tell myself that because i can.

i've never danced better in my life, god.

i've never seen a better show than this, god.

when they closed with "worked up so sexual", i was ready, and i cheered. i clapped my hands and jumped. cliche as it was, i jumped for joy. there was a smile on my face, and it'd been there for as long as the faint was up there on that little stage. the boy dancing next to us (god bless him!) greeted us. we voiced our annoyances at the listless crowd and went our separate ways. sandy and i didn't bother to stick around to talk to the band. every single band member was immediately enveloped in a swarm of black-haired girls, all except the lead singer who had mysteriously disappeared. he was hot. i wouldn't have minded talking to him, but i don't think our marriage is in the stars.

we listened to "danse macabre" six times on the way home, and "blank-wave arcade" twice. we were rocking and i don't even register locking the keys in the car at the gas station fifty miles away from jackson (we got the window down and found them in a weird place wedged in between the seats). i don't even register teasing the blonde chicks in the tan car (we passed them, waved and blew kisses, then wouldn't let them pass us again. they were pissed).

i just remember that it was more than worth everything.

#the faint #2001 #concert diary #old diary

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