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peanutpinet · 1 year ago

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Hey. I really like you fics. All of them are soo good. I really have a request for you like if you could make a fic about haechan in mafia with a established relationship and his girl got kidnapped or something and haechan went to full on hulk mode with some fluff and a little bit of steamy scenes( wink wink)🤭. I recently read your taeyong and jeno mafia fic and it was awesome. Thank you 😊. Keep up the good work.

Don’t Test Me - Mafia! Haechan x Fem Reader

A/N: thank you so much for the sweet comment and I’m glad that you enjoy reading my fics 🥺 I really want to try to write Haechan for a while and you just gave me the opportunity to. Unfortunately, I’m not a smut writer but I will try to write a bit more steamy scenes. This will also probably be part of my like NCT Mafia mini-pairings which I’ve done about Taeyong and Jeno

Synopsis: Haechan was always known as the funny, sunshine one of the whole of NCT. But that doesn’t mean that can’t go serious. Especially when it comes to his lover who is actually the opposite of him. Quiet, reserved but anxious.

Warnings: mafia activities, kidnapping, cursing, torture, steamy makeout session :)) your writer still can't write smut (sorry). Also, you might want to read Jeno and Taeyong's mafia story to know some of these :]

Jeno mafia: read here

Taeyong mafia: read here

Haechan was known as the famous gaming streamer who sings in front of the world, behind the laptop is Lee Donghyuck who is actually known for his smart hacking, information-digging skills, and problem-solving skills in NCT. Thanks to his outgoing and cheerful personality, no one would ever suspect him to actually be collecting information whenever Haechan was talking to them.

Haechan met his now lover on one of his online gaming while he was nearly on the losing side thanks to his friends who suddenly abandoned the game, one of the random players managed to carry Haechan and the team to victory which caught the attention of the smooth-talker.

It was the first time when Haechan found someone not being charmed by his flirty messages which intrigued him even more. Because of the match, Haechan befriended the player and he would often talk with them whenever he had a chance and invite them for a friendly match every now and then where Haechan would try to dig up as much information as he could but somehow, even with his hacking skills, he could barely get any information except for the IP address of the player who surprisingly doesn’t live too far from him.

It wasn’t until one morning while Haechan was on a run to get some coffee with Jeno where Jeno’s girlfriend used to work did he stumble with the player whom Haechan had come to know because of the game that they were playing along with the specific character and the way they play the character. It was all too detailed to be any other person. But what shocked Haechan was that the player turns out to be his long-lost childhood friend, (y/n).

Ever since their meeting, Haechan and (y/n) reconnected about their past childhood, why did (y/n) left and what was she up to now. Though the entire pace of reconnecting was slower than what Haechan would’ve wanted, but he was more than happy to have his childhood friend and his crush back and this time, Haechan is making sure that he confesses about the crush he had for years.

Unfortunately, what was standing between Haechan and his confession was none other than another guy. But not just any other guy. This guy had to go to the same campus as (y/n), be in the same degree and heck, even was in the same lectures and tutorials with her.

Annoyed at the guy, Haechan decided to do some snooping around and was shocked when he found out that the guy, whose name was John, apparently had some sort of connection with Chad, the guy that drugged Jeno and his girlfriend in Italy.

“I’m telling you, there’s something off about him. I just know it, (y/n)” Haechan mentioned

“Haechan, you’re exaggerating. He’s just a teammate. Plus, even if I want to avoid him, I can’t. The lecturer literally picked the groups and I have to go meet up with him to discuss about our assignment. It’s 40% of our grade” (y/n) replied back

“You don’t have to meet him. It’s not like you’re doing a presentation. It’s just a joint research paper which you can just do your own part. I’ll help you if you want to!” Haechan offered

“I’ll be okay, pooh bear. We’ll just be at the library. Don’t worry okay?” (y/n) replied, not wanting the debate to go any further

“Fine. I’ll be by the campus, waiting for you. I won’t go to the library cause I’m not a student but I’ll be nearby. Your phone better be on at all times. Text me if anything. Heck, call me if anything. I’ll come and fight the securities” Haechan exclaimed, making (y/n) chuckle

“I will, pooh bear. Oh hey Jeno” (y/n) mentioned as she tidied her things

“Hi (y/n). Going back to campus already?” Jeno asked as (y/n) nodded

“Yeap. I gotta meet my teammate for our joint research paper to discuss what we’re going to do. It’s 40% worth my final grade for this subject” (y/n) replied, putting on her backpack

“Well, good luck on that. You’re practically as smart as Haechan, I’m sure you’ll pass with a HD” Jeno replied

“Thanks!! I’ll text you when I’m done, pooh bear. Bye Jeno!!” (y/n) exclaimed. “REMEMBER TO HAVE YOUR PHONE ON AT ALL TIMES!” Haechan half-shouted as (y/n) just waved back

“She’s in campus, Haechan. I doubt anything would happen. There are security cameras and guards practically everywhere” Jeno mentioned, sitting across the younger 00 liner

“I don’t trust security cameras or guards. Remember what happened to you and Zenny in Italy?” Haechan replied, taking his “gaming” laptop out

“Don’t you dare remind me of that you pooh bear. I should’ve killed Chad when I had the chance” Jeno scoffed, fisting his hands

“And risk being punished by Taeyong-hyung before he finds out what he needs? No thank you” Haechan mentioned, typing away on his laptop

“You’re hacking the security cameras, aren’t you?” Jeno stated

“You can’t be too sure of everything. Just like you despise Chad, I find John very sus” Haechan replied, looking through every camera from the front gate of the campus to the library

For the past 30 minutes, Haechan and Jeno were monitoring the cameras that Haechan hacked into. Occasionally, Haechan would text (y/n) to make sure that the cameras that he hacked into weren’t already hacked by someone else.

After another 10 minutes, Jeno got bored and mentioned that he was going to the convenience store to grab some snacks for his movie night with Zenny. “You sure you don’t want to come? Dude, she’s fine for the past 40 minutes, I think we can leave for just 5 minutes” Jeno mentioned

“She texted me that she’s done. Kay, we can go to the convenience store and then go to her campus” Haechan replied, finally closing his laptop and joining Jeno to go to the convenience store right before he went to (y/n)’s campus

Haechan’s POV

Right before I was about to cross the street to (y/n)’s campus, I saw (y/n) and waved at her which she waved back until a black van stopped right in front of her which made me anxious and instantly ran across the street, ignoring the traffic lights and Jeno’s scolding.

But when I saw the van driving off and no (y/n) in sight, I instantly put my in-ear piece and contacted Yangyang and Jaemin to help me track the van right as he rushed back towards Jeno, pulling the leader of the 00 liner with him.

“Haechan, what the hell?! Why are we running?!” Jeno exclaimed

“(y/n)’s gone! That van took her! I’m sure of it! Since you’re the racing champion, you’re driving while I figure out where they went” I mentioned as we reached Jeno’s car

“Connect your laptop to the car and buckle up, pooh bear” Jeno mentioned, putting in the gears and racing off as I, Yangyang and Jaemin were tracking down the van that Haechan mentioned

During the car chase, Jeno managed to catch up to the van as closely as he could while I took his gun out, ready to shoot the van’s tire until Jeno scolded him. “Dude, I know that you’re angry but you can’t just shoot in broad daylight! If people find out and I’m in the car, my reputation to cover up who I am would be doomed and I would get a scolding from Taeyong!” Jeno scolded

“Then what do you suggest I do, Mr 00 liner leader?!” Haechan growled back

“Hold on tight” Jeno stated right as he put in the gear to the highest setting and stepped on the gas, now beside the van

Jeno then slowly directed the car to hit the van, trying to corner it but whoever was in the van was just as smart cause right when it seemed that Jeno managed to corner the van, a few other cars appeared, distracting Jeno and me without realising that the ones in the original van that was being chased moved into another van.

Suddenly, the other cars that surrounded Jeno all sped up and left Jeno’s car to hit the van that they were chasing until it stopped. Both Jeno and I went out of the car and opened the van but it was completely empty. What kept the van going was a brick.

“Shit!! We lost them!! Both (y/n) and the van’s tracker” I complained, going back into the car

“You have (y/n)’s phone, right? Am sure you must’ve hacked into her phone for these kinds of situations, right?!” Jeno asked, speed-driving back to the NCT HQ

“That’s the problem, Jeno. (y/n)’s phone is completely off. Not the power that’s off but it’s off off. No signal, no way to hack to turn it on. The chip that I planted was destroyed. Dammit. Looks like I might have to use our big bois for this one” I grumbled as the two boys arrived at their headquarters

Arriving at headquarters, Jeno directed the staff to help fix his car while I rushed to our weapon and tools floor, trying to find what I was looking for. “Where is it, where did Taeyong-hyung keep it?” I grunted until the lights of the room were turned out

“What are you looking for exactly, Haechan?” I heard Taeyong-hyung question, making me gulp and turn around to see my leader and Jeno standing right in front of me

“Nothing, hyung” I gulped. “My office, now” Taeyong stated and both Jeno and I followed him to his office

“I’m going to cut to the point because I think you both are eager to do something else, so. Why are two of our tracking chips destroyed?” Taeyong questioned, sitting down and sliding his tab towards the both of us

“I told you that you would eventually get caught even if you could hack into the chips” Jeno mentioned which made Taeyong raised an eyebrow. “Explain”

“Long story short, I met with my old childhood friend and I was reconnecting with her but then I found out that she was in the same class John, someone that is well was, acquainted with Chad, remember him? The guy that nearly…” Haechan rambled on and Taeyong stopped it. “I remember. So you used the chips to track your old friend and on a van that you speculated was the one that took (y/n)” Taeyong-hyung explained back

“Well, that is my hypothesis, hyung. You have to let me use the big bois, hyung. I knew that John was no good and even if he didn’t kidnap her directly, I’m sure that he must’ve played a part in this” I argued

“Well, that wasn’t my hypothesis. I know about you using the chips right when you took them and did some snooping around. No hard feelings Haechan but I know more than what you think. Just like I know that John is somehow trying to get you to exchange Chad with (y/n). I know that it was John who took (y/n) because he has been eyeing you and her for a while. I watch my members, too. Sorry. Force of habit. But anyways, Jungwoo told me that John decided to dig for some information about you, especially when Chad had sent him images of you and the 00 liners during the race back when Jeno was racing for the Grand Prix in Milan. Just like you, Haechan, John is smart and witty. Unfortunately, I don’t know where he is. But maybe you could” Taeyong-hyung explained, giving me access to the satellite system

“Hyung…’ I started. “I trust that you won’t use it to your advantage. How many members do you need with you?” Taeyong-hyung asked

“Just the 00 liners” I exclaimed, getting to work with the satellite to find John and (y/n). “I’ll come with Mark, Kun, Yuta and Johnny” Taeyong mentioned, texting on his phone as he got up

“Yo-you’re coming?!” I asked right as his laptop showed us the location of both John and (y/n) which were luckily in the same place

“Yes, I am. Looks like these frauds just never learn their lesson” Taeyong growled, putting on his jacket. “Go get your team then, I’ll meet you there”

As time passed, my nervousness started to grow. No one could know what could happen during the night when the shadows, devil and all things evil come out to play. But I wasn’t nervous about myself nor my team because compared to whatever may be lurking in this dark time, the majority feared the name, even just the NCT logo on their uniform whenever they were going around at night.

No, I was nervous about my own reaction to what may happen to (y/n). While I had never gone angry or out of control. Heck, the most rage he has experienced was when someone tried to hack into my own computer to get whatever information they could about my gaming strategy without knowing who I was.

“Remember, no matter what happened, we can’t kill them. Yet.” Jeno reminded me

“You don’t have to remind me. Seems like deja vu, don’t you think?” I chuckled

“I’ll help you torture the guy once you get (y/n) and make sure that she’s safe. I also told Zenny to help take care of (y/n) once we’re done here” Jeno replied

“Where’s Taeyong-hyung?” I asked

“He said that he’s on his way. He had to take care of something before coming here” Jaemin replied. “He told us to go ahead in” Yangyang added

“Let’s take down some frauds, boys” I growled, kicking the door to the abandoned building as we walked into the building

Right when we walked in, Jaemin noticed that there were traps and stopped everyone from going any further. Jeno scanned the room for all the traps took a broken wood and threw it as far as he could, triggering most of the traps and a smoke bomb.

Once the smoke slowly dispersed, Yangyang noticed red dots and instantly held his weapon up as did the rest of us. When the smoke was completely gone, we saw John along with his minions all armed to shoot but I told everyone to not shoot as I walked closer towards John and his minions

“Bold of you to walk as if you’ve triggered all the traps” John chuckled but Haechan took his gun out, pointing towards John. “Bold of you to assume that me and my friends don’t know that” I stated, angling my gun at an odd angle and shoot, destroying the main control panel of the traps

“Quick tip, If you want to build traps, make sure that their control panel is hidden underground or somewhere else. But what can you do with limited resources, am I right?” I chuckled, making John and his men cower a bit

“You’re one to talk. There’s only 4 of you and basically 30 of us. No matter how skilled you all are, I doubt you’d be able to handle this amount of people” John taunted

“I suggest you rethink that while I’m being nice. Where’s (y/n)?” Haechan asked

“Ahh, of course that’s why you’re here. But what’s in it for me then?” John asked back

“Getting out of this place alive. Consider it mercy for what Chad has done to my friend here” Haechan stated, slightly angling his head to point at Jeno

“Hehehe. Chad did warn me about him but I’m not like him. He’s always been more of a coward who hides behind his men. Whereas I” John stated, taking his gun and pointing it at me. “I don’t. How about this? If you win against me with no weapon, I’ll spare (y/n)” John taunted

“And if I refuse?” I growled but John just chuckled, snapping his fingers as two of his men came and held (y/n) who was severely injured and unconscious

“You sick bastard. Maybe leaving you out of here alive is too merciful of me. You coming out with legs and arms is already good enough” I growled, pointing my gun towards John

“Even if you kill me, Lee. My men will kill your girl and little friends first. You really think you can go up against this many people? I suggest you take my offer and fight me or, you get me Chad” John replied

“You really think your friend is with me and my friends? That motherfucker is with NCT” I scoffed back, making some of John’s men shiver in fear just by hearing our group’s name

“You’re bluffing, Lee. He was last seen with your little group here. How the hell could he be with NCT?!” John grunted

“Why don’t you give me (y/n) back and find out” I taunted which made John snicker as he redirected his gun towards (y/n), making my heart drop

“STOP!! I’ll fight you! I’ll fight you with no weapons!” I screamed which made John laugh while I went back towards my members and took off all of the weapons that I had on, handing them over to Jeno. “You’re going to get killed. He only said no weapons for you. He never said for himself” Jeno half-lectured

“I know. I won’t die. Don’t worry about me. As you said, he only said no weapons for me” I chuckled, raising my eyebrows and went back to the center of the building

“Hope you’re ready to die then, Lee Haechan” John chuckled as I took his stance. “Careful, John. Don’t try to provoke the bear. Even Winnie the Pooh can get violent if he doesn’t have his honey” I reminded and John instantly took his gun. “We’ll see if Winnie the Pooh lives or not” John smiled, shooting right at me but I managed to dodge it

Despite being trained by some of the tougher members, I wasn’t as used to this close combat battle with weapons against me. There were some close calls where I managed to land a punch on the side of John’s ribs and even kicked him down which made his gun fly from his hand.

Right as I stood up and was about to confront John, he suddenly turned around and nearly stabbed me if not for my reflexes and ended up getting a cut on my ankle which made me stumble back but still could keep up with the fight.

Unfortunately, John was right, no matter how well-trained I was, I was still human and had my own limits. Despite managing to land a few hits, my hits weren’t as powerful as Jeno's or Jaemin’s, hence John still being able to attack me and cut me here and there. Heck, I was even now on the ground, trying to catch my breath as John stepped on his chest, pointing his knife right at my neck.

“Any last words, pooh? Perhaps I should record this moment, for (y/n) that is” John snickered as Haechan just chuckled

“Yeah, neo got my back” I breathed, confusing John but before John could process my words, I twisted his ankle, making him scream in pain as Jeno kicked him out away from my chest, making me cough for air

“You fucker. You cheated” John grunted as Jeno helped me up to my feet and I limped my way over towards John as I was the one that put my foot on his chest, making him hard to breathe. “It’s hard to breathe, isn’t it?!” I growled

“Also, you’re wrong. I didn’t cheat. You only said to not use any weapons. You never said that I couldn’t have my friend help out” I chuckled, taking out my gun and pointing it at John. “So, how about you drop all of this before I drop this bullet in one of your non-vital parts so you know what pain feels? Pick your answers carefully cause I don’t like to be tested” I taunted, loading my gun

“You made a mistake, pooh bear. How dare you! Kill the girl!” John shouted

But before any of John’s men or I could do anything, everyone felt the ground shake and eventually, John’s men also fell to the ground. The door then opened to reveal Kun and Mark, followed by Johnny, Yuta, Renjun, Shotaro and some of the other nct recruits in their training uniform, surrounding the area and pointing their gun towards John’s men. The atmosphere instantly became tense; especially when heavy boots were clicking along the cold cement floor whilst a dragging sound followed.

The crowd from NCT immediately parted, revealing our leader, Taeyong, dragging what seemed to be one of John’s men who was unconscious with him. “Oh, I think you’re the one who made a mistake” Taeyong-hyung growled, throwing the unconscious man right in front of everyone

“Lee Haechan” Taeyong-hyung stated, making me let out a rough sigh, lifting my feet off of John. “Go get your girl and Renjun, Shotaro, help Jeno get the other 00 liners out and treated. Including the girl” Taeyong-hyung stated

Despite limping, I still managed to walk as normally as possible to not show the enemy that I was actually in pain and asked for (y/n) back. “If you can see who that guy is, I suggest you hand her over unless you want him to blow your insides in front of everyone” I reminded, immediately those men handed (y/n) over and I carried her away

“Hyung…” I called out, looking at Taeyong before I left with the other 00 liners

“You’ll have your share. You did well out there. I’ll have Johnny brush you up more” Taeyong-hyung mentioned, making me chuckle

Back to 3rd POV

Right after the 00-liners were out, the atmosphere became even more tense to the point that no one dared utter a word until Taeyong spoke.

“Was my warning not enough? Not only that but you accused my member of cheating when you started it? My members were taught well but clearly, you managed to outsmart them in your own sinister way” Taeyong stated, walking closer and kneeling down, grabbing John’s face forcefully. “Be thankful that I told my boys to not kill you. Well,” Taeyong chuckled. “Not until I’ve dealt with you that is” Taeyong smirked, standing back up as John gripped his ankle, all the NCT recruits pointed their guns towards John

“I, it was a mistake. I didn’t kill them. They might be bleeding and have a few bruises but they’re completely alright. Please” John pleaded as the main NCT members scoffed

“You’re only pleading because they’re my members and because I’m here, in the flesh, right in front of you and your little group. What if I didn’t come? What if you accidentally killed one of my members? Or worse. What if you killed that girl? Would you be able to live knowing that you killed someone that was precious to someone else? How would you like to be hunted to the point where you would wish that you were killed in an instant?” Taeyong sighed. “Take him and his men as well. If you or your men try anything. I assure you that both of you would wish I kill you in an instant while I still have mercy” Taeyong stated, his own men took care of John and his group

Back at the NCT headquarters, the 00 liners were immediately treated. “Treat her first, I’m fine, just a slight scar on my ankle” Haechan stated as one of Kun’s staff took (y/n) from him

“That is clearly not a scratch Haechan, c’mon, let’s get you treated” Xiaojun mentioned, helping Haechan towards the operating room

After Haechan had several stitches, he was told to rest by Xiaojun but Haechan being the mischievous member he is, ignored Kun’s advice and went to search (y/n). Quietly, Haechan lurked around the halls of the healthcare building and even half-threatened one of the recruits to tell him where (y/n) was which they help pointed Haechan in the direction.

Haechan’s POV

“Of course you would ignore Xiaojun’s suggestion for you to rest” Renjun half scolded

“I need to see her, Renjun. I need to know that she’s okay” I pleaded making Renjun sigh. “Fine. She’s in there, resting up. I just came out of her room after doing some basic checkups. She’s alive if that’s what you’re worried about. Her injuries are healing up but I think you need to check up on her mental state. She actually called your name right when she woke up” Renjun mentioned which made Haechan bolt into the room

“(y/n)…” I whispered, holding onto both of (y/n)’s hands. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve taken you with me when I had the chance. I just, I just thought that maybe even if he was acquainted with someone I hate, he would be different. But turns out I should’ve trusted my own gut feeling. I’ll make him pay. I’ll make them all pay” I growled but calmed when he felt (y/n)’s fingers moving

“Hae, haechan…” (y/n) mumbled

“I’m here. I’m here. I’m not leaving” I replied softly, caressing (y/n)’s hands

“I’m sorry. I should’ve listened to you” (y/n) uttered making my jaw clench

“Don’t be. Hey. It wasn't your fault. No one knew what that douche was planning” I replied back, kissing (y/n)’s temple

“Note to self, listen to whatever Haechan tells you because he is always the smarter one” (y/n) joked, making me chuckle

“I’m not that smart, alright? Stop comparing yourself to me. We’re not even going to college together. How can you be so sure that I’m better? Even if I was smarter academically, you excel in every other way possible” I compliment, making (y/n) blush a bit

“Like what, pooh bear? You’re clearly more social” (y/n) replied

“So? You’re always better artistically. You excel in expressing your emotions. You’re one of the most selfless people ever. You never judge anyone at all. Overall, you excel in every other social aspect. You’re generous, you’re caring, but I will tell you what you don’t excel in” I mentioned while (y/n) just looked at me, anticipating my answer

“You can’t tell about my feelings for you even when we were younger. I have always liked you. Sure I had a weird way of showing it by teasing you but I was so young, I don’t know how to confess. And then you suddenly went away and I thought that I would never get the chance to tell you. When you came back, I want to take it slow because I don’t want to overwhelm you and then this John shit happened and…” I rambled on until I felt soft warm lips on mine

(y/n) was kissing me?! My crush since childhood was kissing me after I confessed everything. Because I was still shocked, I didn’t do anything until I felt (y/n)’s lips left mine did I finally put one of my hands behind her neck and pulled her back for a deeper kiss.

Our lips reconnected before I left her lips and kissed her cheek, down to her jawline and neck which made (y/n) let out a soft moan, making me even more turned out that my other hand reached the edge of her shirt, slowly playing with it before my hand went under her shirt, massaging her sides, making (y/n) moan again.

“Haechan….” (y/n) moaned and it was then that I realised that she was still injured as my hand grazed over a bump of stitch on her stomach

“Shit, I’m so sorry. I got caught up. Are you okay? What did they do to you?” I asked, regaining my breathing while cupping (y/n)’s cheeks

“I, I don’t remember, Chan. I, I tried to fight in the car and even when I was half-awake but they, they…” (y/n) cried, making my heart clench as I pulled her into my embrace, letting her rest her head on my chest, gripping my shirt while making it wet

“Let it out, honey. Let it out. You don’t have to tell me everything yet. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere” I reassured (y/n), stroking her hair as she let out her cry while retelling me what she had gone through

[06:06 am]

6 hours have passed since Haechan and his members found John and (y/n). 6 hours since Taeyong came to keep the situation under control and 6 hours since John and his men had been locked up without knowing the time or day until Taeyong and several of his members came into the room, waking John and his men.

“Hope you had a good 6 hours of thought about what you did in the past week. Not even the past week but you get what I mean” Taeyong stated, sitting on his desk, looking at another pathetic young man, being reminded of the time he had to confront the person that was responsible for the taint on NCT’s name

“How about we start easy? Why did you kidnap her? Was it to exchange with your friend, Chad? Who by the way, was also the one that sat on that chair you’re sitting” Taeyong mentioned, sending shivers to John’s body

“Is, is he?” John finally talked. “Dead? No. We’re not that heartless to take a life. But we’re also not merciful to let you just be locked up” Taeyong replied bluntly

“What if I say that I have no specific reason other than trying to finish what Chad started” John stated. “And that is? Misusing my group’s name? Using it to your own advantage by creating a fake embossed logo? That’s it?” Taeyong questioned

“In a way. But more so for power, money, and fame. That girl was just in the way of it all because she brought one of your hackers apparently and that slim waist guy” John replied making Taeyong let out a long sigh

“One. That hacker is Haechan. Two. That girl you messed with is Haechan’s girl. Three. That slim waist guy is Jeno, captain/leader of the 00-liner group. Four. Jeno is the one who captured Chad and even tortured him to the point where Chad doesn’t even want to leave his cell. Five. You’re a terrible liar” Taeyong stated, walking towards John, circling the younger man

“You and Chad, Courtney. What you guys did to Zennie? That incident in the cafeteria that made me expel the majority of your little group” Taeyong growled, gripping John’s shoulder, his nails digging into the skin

“T-Taeyong…hyung…I, I mean, s-sir…” John pleaded

“I was done with all of you and ready to move on but you had to come back and taunt the others, didn’t you? My members might not remember everyone but I do. Only this time, you didn’t just piss me off” Taeyong chuckled, patting John’s shoulder

“You also provoke the devil” Taeyong whispered right as the door was barged open and the one dubbed as one of NCT’s smartest was also dubbed as the small devil

“Yeah. No hard feelings, man. You just like to test people a lot, don’t you?” Haechan growled, piercing a knife into one of John’s hands. “Like I said. Don’t. Test. Me. Let’s see how you like it to have all those scars on your body, hmm?” Haechan smirked, pointing another knife towards John’s face

A/N: i know I didn't actually made it like the request but I tried and I hope that you enjoy it anon and everyone else! If anyone wants to request another nct mafia please send me one (for the other members). I might just turn this into a mini NCT mafia universe, let me know if you'd like that and stay safe everyone!! xoxo Vinet

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jackoshadows · 2 years ago

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Sorry to send you a sansa ask lol I was just wondering if you could help me out. I'm trying to understand why people say sansa is a literal child right now but they also want her to be queen in the end. Are they assuming we will have a big time skip? I mean, if she should be excused for being dumb because she is a child then why do they want her to be queen, wouldn't that make her situation worse?

Welcome to Schrodinger's Sansa!! It's an asoiaf fandom phenomenon where the character of Sansa Stark is simultaneously many things at the same time.

No, they are not expecting time skips. They are arguing that Sansa is simultaneously both very smart and also she's a little child unable to understand when adults tell her things.

Exhibit A:

Linking to this essay because it's often send to me in discussions about Sansa being very smart.

But there’s no reason the readership should share those views. Sansa is a very clever individual who makes increasingly good use of several skills she started the series with, and develops greatly as an observer and an actor over the course of the story.

Same person then writing about Sansa pushing the Maester to drug SweetRobin with the dangerous SweetSleep despite the Maester warning her that it has long term consequences for SweetRobin's health:

I’ve said before that I don’t think Maester Colemon is doing nearly enough to actually explain the problem with sweetsleep to Sansa, so I’ll have none of that either, thank you. She’s thirteen with no grounding in any sort of natural science whatsoever;

More broadly, do we expect thirteen-year-olds to be able to take full responsibility for another’s medical care? Do we expect them to have a sophisticated understanding of, say, heavy metal poisoning, or prescription drug abuse? Even with modern resources? Sansa, who cannot head off to wikipedia and start researching for herself, is in a situation where she doesn’t know what she doesn’t know.

Sansa does not have wikipedia and therefore cannot double check on what a doctor is telling her about a drug is still one of the funniest things I have read on here about the character 🤣, right up there with Sansa being the 'embodiment of hope for the future' and 'flames coming off the side of the face' for a bnf when a blogger called out Sansa for bullying and mocking Arya's appearance.

Again, keep in mind that Maester Coleman is Westeros' version of a physician, a doctor who treats the sick. This doctor is telling Sansa all this in the text:

Give his lordship a cup of sweetmilk,” she told the maester. “That will stop him from shaking on the journey down.”

“He had a cup not three days past,” Colemon objected.

“And wanted another last night, which you refused him.”

“It was too soon. My lady, you do not understand. As I’ve told the Lord Protector, a pinch of sweetsleep will prevent the shaking, but it does not leave the flesh, and in time …”

I try, my lady, yet his fits grow ever more violent, and his blood is so thin I dare not leech him any more. Sweetsleep… you are certain he was not bleeding from the nose? I must speak to the Lord Protector. This feast… is that wise, I wonder, after the strain of the descent? Lord Robert mislikes strangers, you know that, and there will be drinking, noise… music. Music frightens him”

“This descent… my lady, it might be safest if I mixed his lordship some milk of the poppy.

And then when he gives her a final warning, she threatens him with Littlefinger because 'father and I have larger concerns' than SR's health and well being.

Very well.” They paused at the foot of the stairs. “But this must be the last. For half a year, or longer.”

“You had best take that up with the Lord Protector.” Maester Colemon cares only for the boy, though. Father and I have larger concerns” - Alayne, AFfC

This is what happens when fans self-insert and project onto a character and rely on fan made headcanons instead of actually interacting with the canonical text. They want her to be flawless, therefore she's a naive, innocent little baby. The same consideration is never afforded to the other children, even Arya who is two years younger to Sansa. And yet if one looks at their character endgames, Arya is always an assistant to Sansa, there to give her the information while clever Sansa puts together and uses the information to rule.

They want Ned Stark and Maester Coleman to explain stuff to Sansa like this for her to understand what they are telling her:

And yet she is also the smartest, most cleverest character in the series - smarter than Jon, Dany, Arya, Bran, Tyrion, LF etc.

One of the reasons for why we get so many of these bnfs thinking that 'Sansa Smart' will be queen/lady of WF and at the same time arguing that Sansa is naive/innocent/a little child is because they see her as this flawless symbol of kindness and compassion.

I already wrote about this here that in fandoms like asoiaf, virtues like compassion and kindness is seen through the lens of white, western liberalism and traditional femininity. I wrote that long ago and now with the rise of tradwives, it's even more relevant to this discussion.

It has always baffled me that the character trait most often highlighted in fandom for classist and sexist Sansa is kindness and compassion simply because fandom thinks that being polite and having good manners = being kind and compassionate.

This results in posts like this where they argue that Sansa is actually being kind to Jon Snow by treating him like a bastard when the author through Jon Snow is actually being critical of the character!!

Remember this is the quote from the books!

He missed his true brothers: little Rickon, bright eyes shining as he begged for a sweet; Robb, his rival and best friend and constant companion; Bran, stubborn and curious, always wanting to follow and join in whatever Jon and Robb were doing. He missed the girls too, even Sansa, who never called him anything but “my half brother” since she was old enough to understand what bastard meant. And Arya … he missed her even more than Robb, skinny little thing that she was, all scraped knees and tangled hair and torn clothes, so fierce and willful. - Jon, AGoT

We also have a bnf chiming in and agreeing that yes, Sansa was indeed being considerate of Jon's feelings here!

Even Jaime Lannister has had moments of kindness, where he tries to help Pia. And yet the only character in the series on whom these character traits are constantly pushed onto is Sansa Stark.

Sansa can actually be an interesting character if her fans let her be one. She's not a little child who does not understand what Ned and Maester Coleman tell her. She does understand and chooses to ignore it for her own selfish reasons - marrying Joffrey, whom she loved, and becoming queen or wanting LF's plans in the Vale to succeed. That's why she feels 'as wicked as Arya' when she goes and tattles all of Ned's plans to Cersei. That's why she thinks that while the Maester cared for the boy, she and LF had larger (more important) concerns.

Sansa is interesting in the way she deflects and refuses to acknowledge the unpleasant truths before her and lives in this alternate reality where everything is fine. She ignores Joff's sadism because it clashes with her idea of noble, beautiful princes. She ignores what is being done to poor SweetRobin because she thinks it is essential to her own survival that LF's plans succeed.

The reason her stans refuse to dig deeper into the character other than extremes of naive, innocent child and smartest character ever is because Sansa would then be as flawed as Jon, Arya, Dany, Bran etc. and they don't want that for her. They want her to be special in some way and this is it.

Arya killed the guard to survive - and she's portrayed as too damaged to ever live happily with her family. Jon and Dany face hard choices of doing the pragmatic or the morally right thing and are often called out on those choices, especially Dany. Pretty much most of our protagonists engage in morally grey actions.

And yet Sansa fans insist on her being this flawless character- it's everyone else' fault except hers. It's Ned's fault, it's Coleman's fault - they didn't explain properly. It's Arya's fault for trying to help Mycah, Arya should have tried to build a relationship with Sansa. Suddenly it's Sansa who is the outcast in Winterfell and Arya the favorite. Suddenly Sansa is Ned like and Arya 'bites people like Catelyn'.

This leads to her being interpreted as this idiot who cannot understand when a doctor is telling her a drug is dangerous. Which then clashes with their essays about 'Sansa Smart' and how she is going to be the best queen ever and change the system and bring about women's rights and all that.

It's the same with this 'pawn to player' stuff they write for the character. They expect her to be this smart player of the game and at the same time remain this good, idealistic, 'kind and compassionate' leader... How?! LF and Varys did not get to where they are by being good people. Sansa has to get her hands dirty, be ruthless and often times not be concerned about the well being of others - just as she does with poor SweetRobin. And yet her fans think she will become LF level of game player and do it while being kind.

Especially baffling because GRRM is deconstructing all these tropes of good knights and kind ladies. Brienne of Tarth is the embodiment of the perfect knight and yet she is not what one would expect a knight to be. This was part of Sansa's arc of growth - where she sees and experiences up close the brutality and lack of morals of these knights in KL.

The Northerners are loyal to Ned Stark, not because he was some beacon of kindness and compassion or because he had good manners and said please and thank you but because he ruled according to the laws of the land and enforced those laws in a just manner and was therefore an honorable Lord. He beheaded those who committed crimes, he put down rebellions, he took child hostages and he also kept the peace of the land.

And Ned Stark was as flawed as all the other characters. So this insistence that Sansa has to remain this caricature of 'kindness and compassion' - even if it's canonically untrue considering bigotry is not kind - is bizarre and one of the main reasons for why we have Schrodinger's Sansa. I can't wait to see all the excuses and justifications bnfs will come up with if we get TWoW and Sansa is doing all sorts of morally grey shite and going along with LF's plans.

#asks

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gordontheengineswifenirmal · 3 days ago

Text

Toxicity In The Thomas Fandom And Far Beyond

I need to address not only the Thomas fandom, but fandoms in general. A lot of complaints range from differences in opinion - some are valid, some are not. The problem is far more complex than this. It has to deal with Narcissists. They can be of any age.

Before I go further, I want to share some links about what we will be discussing. These will help give you a better understanding of the real issue at hand.

Me own past postings about narcissists-

https://www.tumblr.com/gordontheengineswifenirmal/770455060439285760/this-is-an-announcement-to-yall-letting-everyone

https://www.tumblr.com/gordontheengineswifenirmal/770681484828966912/some-of-these-white-knights-who-harass-others

https://www.tumblr.com/gordontheengineswifenirmal/770670398781128704/xxs1lv3rm00n

https://www.tumblr.com/ttteconfessionsrevived/770807372750995456/and-u-wonder-why-trains-r-better-than-people

https://www.tumblr.com/gordontheengineswifenirmal/770875289078267904/good-point-they-dont-usually-start-out-life-as

https://www.tumblr.com/gordontheengineswifenirmal/770862420669399040/reddit-dive-into-anything

https://www.tumblr.com/gordontheengineswifenirmal/770855946319724544/suffering-of-the-spouses-of-narcissistic-perverts

YouTube channels about narcissists-

https://youtube.com/@richardgrannon?si=GKlgR-RB4P_BV58v

https://youtube.com/@survivingnarcissism?si=4bDjH9iIH6J1Buqk

https://youtube.com/@doctorramani?si=m_SHlCs4f9tlZZmp

https://youtube.com/@thegameexposedpodcast?si=Pjcba2ByN1G5hEfO

https://youtube.com/@commonego?si=W6WNL2YtjSxtNvT-

Within every fandom, there are some fans who are especially popular, and seemingly charismatic. They seemingly draw in others with their talents. This could range from their artwork, acting skills, writing, etc. Not everyone in the fandom who is popular is a problem, but those who are most popular are often a red flag.

Many of these popular fans are narcissists. This popularity comes with a price - not so much for them, but for those around them. They garner a sort of cult following, which may not seem outwardly apparent at first. In fact, they may seem friendly, and often, completely normal. The issue presents when someone manages to set the narcissistic fan(s) off. This is not the victim’s fault. This will often happen seemingly at random. They will then shift blame on the victim, and work as quickly as possible to get their other followers to join them in boycotting and harassing the victim. The narcissist(s)and their followers will often make some excuse to hide their ulterior motives. For example, the victim may not agree with some social or political beliefs, so the narcissist(s) will claim this is their reasoning for hatred. It looks plausible on the surface, without being looked further into. It also makes them look like the martyr. Their actual reasons are far more unhinged and immature. They may feel attention is taken away from them. They might be jealous. They may even be dealing with situations in their personal lives that are completely unrelated to the victim, but they take their emotions out on the victim anyway. They might feel powerless because they aren’t getting the validation they desire. They can be seen much as the same as an addict. The difference here is that they are addicted to an emotional drug, rather than a physical one. When they are cut off from attention and the validation they desire, they spiral into tantrums. They often act as gatekeepers. This is a form of manipulation.

Often times, their campaign is strongest in the beginning, when they have a lot of material to work with. They begin to struggle more, as they run out of insults and things to make up. They will frequently troll their victims posts, comments sections, and any other source of material they can use as inspiration. Their campaign accusations are baseless logical fallacies.

They will often use coded terms which have a significant meaning for the victim. These are terms or phrases that may have double meanings, or that they will repeat constantly, because they lack an actual intellect, and can’t come up with anything better. Shock factors are a critical tool for recruiting and maintaining members. this is why claims will often seem somewhat plausible, but so over the top, others won’t dare argue against them.

This time around, the coded clues I got were - elder card, prostitution, Gaza scammers, misgendering, paedo (because this is a typical narcissistic insult). As things progressed, more of these clues dropped in the insults and accusations. This lead me to guess which insult was coming next. Some narcissists will do this in the order you catch them, others will mix them up to throw you off the track. I felt a combination here, I think especially because there are multiple narcissists at play in unison here. I talked to several other fans who were victimised, and they told me stories that mirrored me own.

As for the followers, they present their own problems. They follow and chime in for several reasons. Some genuinely believe the lies they spin for the narcissist(s), and some want the attention and praise which comes with feeding into the narcissist. This is true in many cultures like group narcissistic relationships, fandoms and social media are prime breeding grounds for this because of their easy access to large groups of gullible, impressionable people who lack self esteem. It’s often a perfect storm. Others may secretly know what they are saying is wrong, and don’t agree with what’s going on, but they pretend to, because they don’t want to be ostracised or become the a victim themselves. The problem here is that it’s hard to tell the difference.

Another interesting thing to note is that there will usually be a hierarchy within each ‘clique’. The most abusive, outspoken, and popular fans are at the top of the food chain. Their most ardent supporters come next. These will favourite, reblog, add comments, provide feedback, etc. Those simply who fave and reblog are next. Those who simply fav follow this. Those who r silent are usually ignored. Those who speak against the narcissistic cluster are the lowest of the food chain, and suffer abuse.

In most cases, the true neutral is the best stan d - avoiding communication, likes, reblogs of those doing the most baseless accusations, and who have the largest following. Those with the larger following will ACT like they are the victim, but the opposite couldn’t be more true. Avoid this at all costs, because these people are who draw you into the negativity. From there, it’s hard to get out, and you may regret it later.

This is why I blocked people and made a list of them. When they choose to like, comment, or add to the narcissist’s side of the conversation, they only make matters worse. The increase the echo chamber conversation. An echo chamber is a group of people who prop up the narcissist(s) with praise, support, emotional fuel, and other feedback to further harass the victim. They never let opposing opinions in, because that would weaken the power structure. They hate when their actions are called out, and they are forced to face the gravity of their behaviour.

In fandoms, this is dangerous, not just because of the damage it spreads to innocent victims, but it spreads a harmful cognitive dissonance. The community will judge innocent people as paedophiles and other extreme criminals. This creates a shield for the narcissist(s), whilst the actual criminals are left undetected, and often praised. Sometimes, the very same accusers are the actual violators. They hind behind their wall of defenders, basking in the security of not having to face being held accountable. The community is then left unable to understand who they should trust and who they shouldn’t.

More information:

(This is a paid article)

https://medium.com/@lifeintheblisslane/narcissism-beyond-self-loathing-to-the-gatekeeping-of-human-potential-ef42b60e586b

In popular discourse, narcissism is often reduced to mere self-admiration, a shallow fixation on one’s own image and an incessant craving for validation. However, this understanding only scratches the surface of a much more insidious and multifaceted psychological phenomenon. At its core, narcissism is not just about self-loathing and the accompanying compensatory behaviors; it extends into a pervasive tendency to impose one’s standards on others, dictating narrow pathways of acceptable behavior and acting as judgmental gatekeepers of participation in the social sphere.

The Roots of Narcissistic Gatekeeping

Narcissistic individuals often harbor deep-seated self-loathing and insecurity. To mask these feelings, they project an inflated sense of self-worth. This projection is not confined to their self-perception but expands into how they view and judge others. Narcissists often create rigid frameworks of what they deem acceptable, respectable, or successful, and they expect everyone around them to conform to these arbitrary standards.

This gatekeeping behavior is a means of control. By setting the rules and determining who qualifies as worthy, narcissists reinforce their own superiority and validate their self-constructed identity. It’s a mechanism to ensure that their fragile ego is never challenged by diversity or divergence from their established norms.

https://xanister.wordpress.com/2018/11/24/examining-fandoms-gatekeeping-labeling/

If we all just listened to the Doctor…

Whenever I dip my toe (and inevitable fall face first into) a fandom, I enjoy seeing how they work from the inside and how people work together. Do people write fanfiction? Real-person fanfiction? Do they make fan-vids or other fanworks? What are the popular hashtags, inside jokes and memes? Do Big Name Fans(BNF) exist? Are people generally good to each other or has the fandom divided itself and started labelling based on ‘ships, and opinions? Do ‘right and wrong’ fans exist? As an example: blink-182 used to have Tom Delonge on guitar and now has Matt Skiba. There are fans that believe it is no longer blink-182 without Tom.

The first question that comes up inevitably, is how do these fandoms treat newcomers? It varies of course, no two fandoms are the same and some fandoms are exceedingly welcoming. One trend I have seen throughout my travels is that the longer a media exists the more opportunities for gatekeeping. There are of course exceptions to prove the rule.

This post was brought about by my recent slide into the Queen fandom after seeing Bohemian Rhapsody. The movie side of the fandom is still quite new, but they like their gifs. It’s interesting how deeply the “I’m a real fan” complex goes. At the moment mine goes to the point where it’s internalized gatekeeping. Even as I write this I feel the need to clarify to you that I was a fan of the band BEFORE the movie. Not a huge fan but I’ve heard a lot of their songs. That fact doesn’t matter, but I have to write it. This fandom (the movie and the over-arching Queen fandom) surprised me, I was expecting something completely different. On tumblr, youtube comments, and twitter there are a lot of people making general posts reminding the “old school” fans of the band that there are going to be a lot of new Queen fans thanks to the movie and that this should be seen as a great thing. After all they love the band too, they’re excited to hear new music so they should be welcomed. I’ve seen more of this than of the negative to be honest and it’s refreshing to see. Of course, it helps that two members of the band are executive producers on the project and have given their blessing and I’m not looking in all the dark recesses. There could be plenty of people spilling vitriol, for now all I’m seeing are the positives.

If we get down to the obvious facts: Gatekeeping is wrong, and it’s such a weird thing to do. It’s actively trying to keep people away from the thing you love (that they also love) that you share with many other people based on made up criteria.

Gatekeeping: an Urbandictionary Definition – When someone takes it upon themselves to decide who does or does not have access or rights to a community or identity. This is also known in fandoms as someone saying, “Oh, sure you’re a fan, but you’re not a proper fan.”

Why does anyone want fewer people enjoying the thing they love? That’s fewer people contributing to the fanworks and fewer people to talk to about the love you have for the media. Oh, and I’m going to use the term ‘media’ and ‘property’ to avoid repeating movie/book/band etc. to which a fandom belongs.

In my experiences finding and entering a new-to-you fandom can be distilled down in three different ways. Each way is treated differently by different groups and all are perfectly acceptable. Hopefully all end up with you enjoying all the wealth a fandom and its community can offer. I won’t speak for everyone, that would be rude of me but the problem as I see it is, two of the ways involve the fan and active effort and one, while it does require the fan to act, is more passive. The passive example may also be seen by others as “less” or “not proper” because an outside source that is benefiting from the new fan is brought into the picture.

To better illustrate, let’s relate getting into a fandom with getting over a high fence.

1. One person climbing a fence – ACTIVE:The “Old School fans”. You find a property yourself * often when it’s just starting and “suffer” through the early days when it is not popular and doesn’t seem to have much of a following. You may be teased for liking it. Every change to the fandom AFTER you join may lend you a sort of reputation as you were a fan BEFORE. *Being introduced to a show as a child is seen as finding it yourself. Examples are: Classic Doctor Who, 1st run comics, bands before they “got big”.

2. Help from a friend – ACTIVE:A friend who is currently an established fan belonging to category 1 or 2 in the fandom shares the foundation knowledge of the media with you. Perhaps you have a marathon watch together or they talk about it so much you have practically watched it yourself and decide to check it out. Even if the fandom has evolved and changed due to a remake/reboot, people who are 1 brought in by established fans are generally regarded positively if they know the beginning stuff. They’ve seen some classic Doctor Who, they know facts from early in the property’s history. The person bringing them in will surely have schooled them with the basics. Newer properties may have less of these and more Category 1 people. Although a friend brought them to the fandom there’s a good chance they discovered the show on their own. New property examples might be: Brooklyn 99, The Good Place etc. Important to remember that: Female fans are often assumed to be in this category even if they fall into number 1. These fans are sometimes quizzed/assessed and regarded with suspicion.

3. “The Hollywood Effect” – Considered PASSIVE:

We are in a time of reboots, biopics, and remakes. With the Marvel and DC movies making comics more accessible, Doctor Who rebooting in 2005 and bands like Queen having biopics Hollywood is acting like the friend does in category 2. Except they’re taking money for

these movies, books, and TV shows are making the introductions to the people who may have no previous relationship to the property. The “problem” is these introductions are thought of as lesser and not as “proper” as finding the show yourself or having a friend bring you in. Hollywood has a wide reach, they may summarize or making artistic choices. They bring a certain amount of authority, and may show only the “good” parts of a property.

Examples include: Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, long running bands, the Simpsons and anything else that was remade or additional properties licensed.

Hollywood gets you over the fence by “official” means and they just hand you the history of a property without all the digging, saving and spending other fans might do.

That being said, you may ask: why is not being a part of a fandom such a big deal? After all that doesn’t stop you from consuming the media.

True. I can still watch Doctor Who even if I only started watching last week and someone online upon hearing this says I’m not a “proper fan”. In the internet age almost anyone can reach out and consume a media property, but it does make it less than palatable, or less rude if you want to make connections to other fans but can’t because someone is in your way.

Gatekeeping often keeps people from fully enjoying a fandom, even if it doesn’t really keep people out/away from the property they enjoy. People naturally want to belong and make connections. (Of course there are exceptions) We want community, we want relationships, but we also want those relationships to be with people that enjoy the same things. If I write fanfiction I may want to be around people who also like to write and read fanfiction, or ditto for fanvids or graphic makers. In a smaller fandom that may be the same people for all those things and everyone participates in different fanworks. Large fandoms may lean towards subcategorization to make these relationships easier to find. A great example comes from Doctor Who with labels like “Classic Who fans” vs “New Who Fans”. Labels can be wonderful and horrible things at the same time, use them with care and only if the person being labelled is OK with it.

How someone enters into a fandom is a perfect way to subcategorize, I’ve just done it in this post. Identifying as a new fan is great as long as we remember that less time with a property doesn’t make them any LESS of a fan. Yes, they’re new, but before they came here they listened to every album in the span of a week. Yes, they’re new and… nothing, they’re just new. How much of a fan can only be quantified by that person if they even choose to quantify it.

I haven’t been around any one fandom for a super long time with the exception of maybe Doctor Who, so I can’t say be more like one fandom over another. I do think that being aware of the gatekeeping/labelling can open a dialogue between fans and that’s a dialogue every good community should have.

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/376684045_Unraveling_the_Threads_Exploring_the_Influence_of_Media_on_Toxic_Fan_Behavior_Among_Teenagers_Through_the_Lens_of_Social_Identity_Theory_A_Journal_Analysis_presented_as_a_final_requirement_for_Social_

ABSTRACT‭ ‬

This ‭ ‬study ‭ ‬collected ‭ ‬data ‭ ‬about ‭ ‬the ‭ major‬ ‭ ‬Influence ‭ ‬of ‭ ‬Media ‭ ‬on ‭ ‬Toxic ‭ ‬Fan ‭ ‬Behavior

Among Teenagers by reviewing numerous studies, articles, and journals. The paper focused

on collecting data gathered in the current time and discussed multiple key elements through

Social Identity Theory (SIT). A study reviewed by Turner & Brown (2020) and Martinez

et ‭ ‬al. (2021) ‭ ‬explores ‭ ‬the media's ‭ ‬impact in ‭ ‬portraying ‭ ‬certain ‭ ‬actions as ‭ ‬acceptable ‭ ‬or

praiseworthy can contribute to toxic fan responses, particularly when defending celebrities

against criticism.‭ ‭This‭ significant influence was examined in this study, resulting numerous ‬‬‬

further of them.‭ ‬

INTRODUCTION‭ ‬

The growing popularity of fandom community, particularly among teenagers in the age of

digital media, has resulted in both positive and negative outcomes. Teenagers' fan behavior

can be greatly impacted by media since it shapes their views, affects social dynamics, and

fosters ‭ ‬online ‭ ‬communities that ‭ ‬encourage ‭ ‬extreme behavior. ‭ ‬One ‭ ‬significant aspect ‭ ‬of

media influence on fan behavior is the creation of fandoms around celebrities, movies, TV

shows, ‭ ‬or ‭ ‬music ‭ ‬artists. ‭ ‬While ‭ ‬fandoms ‭ ‬can ‭ ‬foster ‭ ‬a ‭ ‬sense ‭ ‬of ‭ ‬community ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬shared

enthusiasm, they also have the potential to turn toxic. Social media platforms, which serve

as the epicenter for fan interactions, provide an avenue for fans to express their thoughts

and ‭ ‬feelings ‭ ‬passionately. ‭ ‬However, ‭ ‬the ‭ ‬anonymity ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬distance ‭ ‬facilitated ‭ ‬by ‭ ‬these

platforms ‭ ‬sometimes lead ‭ ‬to a ‭ ‬detachment ‭ ‬from real-world ‭ ‬consequences, emboldening

individuals to exhibit toxic behaviors, such as cyberbullying and harassment.‭ ‬

The ‭ ‬media ‭ ‬frequently ‭ ‬portrays ‭ ‬intense ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬obsessive ‭ ‬fan ‭ ‬behavior ‭ ‬as ‭ ‬normal ‭ ‬or ‭ ‬even

desirable. Celebrities and influencers contribute to this, consciously or subconsciously by

rewarding extreme dedication with attention. This may lead to a competitive atmos‭phere ‬

among fans as they try to outdo one another in expressing their adoration. Turner & Brown

(2020) and Martinez ‭ ‬et al. (2021) explores how ‭ ‬media shapes ‭ ‬perceptions of ‭ ‬celebrities,

fostering ‭ ‬strong ‭ ‬identification ‭ ‬among ‭ ‬teenagers. ‭ ‬The ‭ ‬influence ‭ ‬of ‭ ‬media ‭ in ‭ ‬portraying ‬

certain ‭ ‬behaviors ‭ ‬as ‭ ‬acceptable ‭ ‬or ‭ ‬admirable ‭ ‬can ‭ ‬contribute ‭ ‬to ‭ ‬toxic ‭ ‬fan ‭ ‬responses,

especially when defending celebrities from criticism. Constant exposure to such behavior

via ‭ ‬media ‭ ‬fosters ‭ ‬the ‭ ‬perception ‭ ‬that ‭ ‬extreme ‭ ‬activities ‭ ‬are ‭ ‬acceptable, ‭ ‬if ‭ ‬not ‭ ‬even

admirable, thus contributing to the toxicity inside fan communities. (Ben Larkin and Janet

S ‭ ‬Fink, ‭ ‬2019) ‭ ‬Team ‭ ‬identification ‭ ‬is ‭ ‬among ‭ ‬the ‭ ‬most ‭ ‬widely ‭ ‬studied ‭ ‬concepts ‭ ‬in ‭ ‬fan

behavior; however, with few exceptions, we just ‭focused on the‭ unhealthy attachments fans ‬‬

form ‭ ‬with their ‭ ‬favorite ‭ ‬celebrities. ‭ Drawing on ‭ ‬literature ‭ ‬from social ‭ ‬psychology ‭ ‬on ‭ ‬a ‬

construct referred ‭ ‬to as collective ‭ ‬narcissism, we illustrate how ‭ ‬fans’ identification ‭ ‬with

their favorite celebrities may take a collectively narcissistic form that results in markedly

different outcomes compared with the generally positive team identification that has been

so ‭ ‬vigorously ‭ ‬studied ‭ ‬in ‭ ‬the literature. ‭ ‬Specifically, ‭ ‬we ‭ ‬explore ‭ ‬the ‭ ‬moderating ‭ ‬role ‭ ‬of

collective ‭ ‬narcissism ‭ ‬on ‭ ‬the ‭ ‬relationship ‭ ‬between ‭ ‬team ‭ ‬identification ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬both

dysfunctional fandom and aggression.‭ ‬

The rise of parasocial relationships, in which people form one-sided emotional connections

with media celebrities, enhances the media's influence on toxic fan behavior. Teenagers, in

their quest for identification and belonging, may form strong attachment ‭ ‬to their favorite

celebrities. When ‭ ‬these celebrities face ‭ ‬criticism or ‭ ‬perceived threats, fans ‭ ‬may resort to

toxic behaviors to defend them, viewing it as a personal mission to protect their idol. The

lines between reality and the digital realm blur, fostering an environment where toxic fan

behavior can thrive. Smith and Davis (2017) and Yang et al. (2020) Media contributes to

the ‭ ‬construction ‭ ‬of ‭ ‬these ‭ ‬one-sided ‭ ‬relationships, ‭ ‬where ‭ ‬individuals ‭ ‬feel ‭ ‬emotionally

connected to celebrities. High levels of iden‭tification with celebrities can lead to defensive ‬

and ‭ ‬toxic ‭ ‬behaviors ‭ ‬in ‭ ‬response ‭ ‬to ‭ ‬perceived ‭ ‬threats ‭ ‬or ‭ ‬criticism. ‭ ‬While ‭ ‬parasocial

relationships have long been a part of fan culture, the emergence of toxic dynamics signals

a ‭ ‬pressing ‭ ‬need ‭ ‬for ‭ ‬reflection ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬intervention. ‭ ‬Acknowledging ‭ ‬the ‭ ‬complexities ‭ ‬and

potential harm of these relationships is vital for fostering a more positive and responsible

fan culture. Initiatives such as media literacy education, promoting healthy boundaries, and

encouraging ‭ ‬open‭ ‭ ‬dialogues about ‭ ‬responsible fandom ‭ ‬can ‭ ‬contribute ‭ ‬to ‭ ‬mitigating ‭ ‬the ‬

negative impacts of toxic parasocial relationships. ‭ ‬

Media's influence on the construction of identity among teenagers cannot be overlooked in

the context of ‭ ‬toxic fandom. Adolescents, in ‭ ‬their formative ‭ ‬years, often seek validation

and a sense of self through the communities they engage with. Media, by shaping societal

norms and expectations, contributes to the creation of an environment where toxic behavior

is sometimes seen as a means of asserting one's identity within a fan group. The impact of

the media on toxic fan behavior among teenagers is a complicated combination of social

dynamics, identity formation, ‭ ‬and the digital world. Recognizing the potential harm that

media ‭ ‬can ‭ ‬unknowingly ‭ ‬give ‭ ‬teens ‭ ‬is ‭ ‬critical ‭ ‬for ‭ ‬establishing ‭ ‬a ‭ ‬healthier ‭ ‬online

environment. This paper will provide an in‭-depth analysis of ‭ ‬an issue relevant to today's ‬

environment in terms of toxic idolatry and media exploitation. ‭ ‬

THEORETICAL ANALYSIS‭ ‬

This ‭ ‬study ‭ ‬is ‭ ‬based ‭ ‬on ‭ ‬the ‭ ‬concept ‭ ‬of ‭ ‬Social ‭ ‬Identity ‭ ‬Theory ‭ ‬(SIT) ‭ ‬which ‭ ‬posits ‭ ‬that

individuals ‭ ‬categorize ‭ ‬themselves ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬others ‭ ‬into ‭ ‬social ‭ ‬groups, ‭ ‬fostering ‭ ‬a ‭ ‬sense ‭ ‬of

belonging ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬identity. ‭ ‬The ‭ ‬media ‭ ‬plays ‭ ‬a ‭ ‬crucial ‭ ‬role ‭ ‬in ‭ ‬shaping ‭ ‬perceptions ‭ ‬and

rei‭nforcing social identities within fan communities. Through Social Identity Theory, we ‬

can understand how media representations of celebrities and fan interactions contribute to

the creation of a distinct in-group identity. This theory believes that toxic fan behavior is a

result of six sets of factors namely; media representations, para-social relationship, impact

of ‭ ‬trends, ‭ ‬social ‭ ‬comparison, ‭ ‬perceived ‭ ‬threats, ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬anonymity ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬disinhibition.

Throughout the study, these factors will be examined and review‭ed in concerning toxic fan ‬

behavior among teenagers on any media platform. Validating the hypothesis will result in

a conclusion.‭ ‬

THE ELEMENTS OF THE STUDY‭ ‬

The ‭ ‬combination ‭ ‬of ‭ ‬media ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬fandom ‭ ‬has ‭ ‬created ‭ ‬a ‭ ‬dynamic ‭ ‬interplay ‭ ‬that ‭ ‬changes

teenagers’ behaviors and identities ‭ ‬within fan communities. An Article ‭ ‬from 2021 stated

that ‭ ‬the ‭ ‬concept of ‭ ‬“toxic fandom” ‭ ‬(Proctor & ‭ ‬Kies, 2018) ‭ ‬has ‭ ‬been ‭ ‬used ‭ ‬to ‭ ‬map and

understand increasingly ‭ ‬hostile responses to ‭ ‬media. The ‭ ‬term has ‭ ‬gained some ‭ ‬currency

within ‭ ‬fan studies, ‭ ‬highlighting the ‭ ‬need ‭ ‬for sustained ‭ ‬research into ‭ ‬the darker ‭ ‬sides of

fandom ‭ ‬(Broll, ‭ ‬2020). ‭ ‬Analyzing ‭ ‬the ‭ ‬elements ‭ ‬affecting ‭ ‬toxic ‭ ‬fan ‭ ‬behavior ‭ ‬among

teen‭agers ‭ ‬is ‭ ‬becoming ‭ ‬increasingly ‭ ‬important ‭ ‬as ‭ ‬the ‭ ‬limits ‭ ‬between ‭ ‬online ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬real ‬

encounters blur. The significance of social identity on toxic fan behavior has emerged as

an ‭ ‬intriguing field ‭ ‬of ‭ ‬study. ‭ ‬ Social ‭ ‬Identity ‭ ‬Theory (SIT) ‭ ‬is ‭ ‬an important ‭ ‬structure ‭ ‬for

exploring the ways individuals classify themselves and others into various social groups,

influencing ‭ ‬their ‭ ‬actions ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬views. ‭ ‬When ‭ ‬applied ‭ ‬to ‭ ‬the ‭ ‬realm ‭ ‬of ‭ ‬teenagers ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬their

involvement in fan communities, Social Identity Theory gives light on the int‭ricate aspects ‬

that contribute to toxic fan behavior, particularly as influenced by media. This study digs

into ‭ ‬key ‭ ‬factors ‭ ‬of ‭ ‬media ‭ ‬influence, ‭ ‬identity ‭ ‬formation, ‭ ‬social ‭ ‬dynamics, ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬media

portrayals that underlie the appearance of toxic fan behavior among teenagers.‭ ‬

Media Representations of Celebrities within Fan Communities‭ ‬

In the age of technology, media representations of celebrities and fandom play a significant

impact in ‭ ‬shaping the ‭ ‬dynamics of ‭ ‬teenage fan ‭ ‬communities, contributing ‭ ‬to the ‭ ‬rise of

toxic behaviors. Media often portrays celebrities in an idealized manner, emphasizing their

achievements, beauty, or ‭ ‬talent. Teenagers, in ‭ ‬turn, may ‭ ‬idealize these ‭ ‬figures and ‭ ‬when

this ‭ ‬idealization ‭ ‬is ‭ ‬threatened, ‭ ‬such ‭ ‬as ‭ ‬by ‭ ‬negative ‭ ‬media ‭ ‬coverage, ‭ ‬fans ‭ ‬may ‭ ‬react

defensively, displaying toxic behaviors ‭ ‬to protect ‭ ‬the perceived ‭ ‬perfection of their idols.

Media representations of celebrities contribute to shape the perceived norms, beliefs, and

behaviors ‭ ‬associated ‭ ‬with ‭ ‬distinct ‭ ‬fan ‭ ‬communities, ‭ ‬which ‭ ‬helps ‭ ‬to ‭ ‬shape ‭ ‬fan ‭ ‬identity.

Teenagers may identify with specific media narratives, resulting in the creation of separate

in‭-groups. ‭ ‬When ‭ ‬these ‭ ‬identities ‭ ‬are ‭ ‬questioned ‭ ‬or ‭ ‬ridiculed, ‭ ‬protective ‭ ‬responses ‭ ‬may ‬

emerge, increasing toxicity in the fan community. As they identify themselves in various

fan bases, media then fosters a competitive mentality within fandoms, pitting various fan

communities against one another. This rivalry, which can be amplified by media narratives,

resulting toxic behaviors such as online abuse, mockery, or the exclusion of fans from rival

groups.‭ ‬

The challenges associated with defending idols and managing toxic fandom dynamics can

have an impact on teenagers' mental health. The psychological impact extracted from fans

immersed in these interactions is worsened by media representations. Understandin‭g these ‬

dynamics ‭ ‬is ‭ ‬essential ‭ ‬for ‭ ‬dealing ‭ ‬with ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬preventing ‭ ‬toxic ‭ ‬fan ‭ ‬behavior ‭ ‬in ‭ ‬teenagers.

Celebrity portrayals in the media have a profound impact on the formation of fan identities

and the dynamics of teenage fandom. As we discuss this complex landscape, it is important

that we acknowledge the impact of media portrayals on teenagers' emotional commitment

and the potential for ‭ ‬toxicity within fan ‭ ‬networks. Fostering ‭ ‬media literacy, encouraging

critical thinking, and fostering open discourse are crucial steps toward cultivating healthier

fan connections and supporting the well-being of teenagers navigating the complex world

of celebrity fandom in the digital age.‭ ‬

The Para-Social Relationship between the Celebrities and Fandom‭ ‬

Parasocial ‭ ‬Interaction Theory, introduced ‭ ‬by Horton ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬Wohl, examines ‭ ‬the ‭ ‬one-sided

relationships ‭ ‬individuals ‭ ‬form ‭ ‬with ‭ ‬media ‭ ‬personalities. ‭ ‬In ‭ ‬the ‭ ‬context ‭ ‬of ‭ ‬toxic ‭ ‬fan

behavior, teenagers may develop intense parasocial relationships with celebrities, leading

to over-identification and a sense ‭ ‬of personal connection. This emotional investment can

drive ‭ ‬fans ‭ ‬to ‭ ‬extreme ‭ ‬lengths, ‭ ‬defending their ‭ ‬idols ‭ ‬vehemently ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬engaging ‭ ‬in ‭ ‬toxic

behaviors ‭ ‬to ‭ ‬protect ‭ ‬their ‭ ‬perceived ‭ ‬emotional ‭ ‬connection. ‭ ‬Teenagers ‭ ‬who ‭ ‬are ‭ ‬overly

fascinated with their idols may lose sight of reality. The idealized picture produced through

para-social contacts may distort their judgment, causing recognizing between the celebrity

persona and the real person difficult. Excessive focus on idols can also lead to the neglect

of ‭ ‬real-life ‭ ‬responsibilities, ‭ ‬such ‭ ‬as ‭ ‬schoolwork, ‭ ‬relationships, ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬personal ‭ ‬growth.

Teenagers ‭ ‬who ‭ ‬prioritize ‭ ‬para-social ‭ ‬connections ‭ ‬over real-life ‭ ‬interactions ‭ ‬may ‭ ‬find it

difficult to ‭ ‬relate ‭ ‬to peers ‭ ‬who may ‭ ‬not ‭ ‬have the ‭ ‬same ‭ ‬level ‭ ‬of idolization. ‭ ‬This social

distance can result in strained friendships and being excluded from society. Teenagers may

prioritize their para-social relationships over crucial aspects of their daily lives.‭ ‬

The Negative Impact of trends ‭ ‬

The negative impact of media trends on fan behavior among teenagers ‭ ‬is a phenomenon

marked by ‭ ‬a confluence ‭ ‬of cultural, social, ‭ ‬and technological ‭ ‬factors. It is ‭ ‬a concerning

aspect ‭ ‬of ‭ ‬contemporary ‭ ‬fan ‭ ‬culture. ‭ ‬The ‭ ‬influence ‭ ‬of ‭ ‬media ‭ ‬trends, ‭ ‬often ‭ ‬driven ‭ ‬by

sensationalism ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬rapid dissemination ‭ ‬through ‭ ‬digital platforms, ‭ ‬can contribute ‭ ‬to ‭ ‬the

escalation of toxic dynamics within fan communities. As we navigate this exploration, it

becomes evident that the consequences of media trends extend beyond their initial allure,

leaving ‭ ‬lasting ‭ ‬imprints ‭ ‬on ‭ ‬the ‭ ‬social ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬psychological ‭ ‬landscape ‭ ‬of ‭ ‬teenage ‭ ‬fan

interactions. ‭ ‬One ‭ ‬of ‭ ‬the ‭ ‬most ‭ ‬pronounced ‭ ‬negative ‭ ‬outcomes ‭ ‬of ‭ ‬trends ‭ ‬on ‭ ‬toxic ‭ ‬fan

behavior is the amplification of groupthink within fan communities. Online spaces provide

teenagers ‭ ‬with ‭ ‬an ‭ ‬immediate ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬continuous ‭ ‬connection ‭ ‬to ‭ ‬the ‭ ‬trends ‭ ‬shaping ‭ ‬fan

communities. The recurring nature of media trends produce a homogeneous environment

in which dissenting viewpoints or different perspectives are ignored. Trends that promote

intense fandom commitment or exclusionary practices can quickly infiltrate online forums,

resulting in the rapid ‭ ‬escalation of toxic ‭ ‬dynamics. This echo chamber effect develops a

sense of communal identity and unity while also stifling critical thinking, contributing to

an environment in which extreme beliefs are reinforced and toxic behaviors thrive.‭ ‬

Furthermore, Social media platforms, where many fan interactions occur, have features that

promote ‭ ‬rapid ‭ ‬content ‭ ‬dissemination, ‭ ‬often ‭ ‬prioritizing ‭ ‬trending ‭ ‬topics. ‭ ‬This ‭ ‬speed ‭ ‬of

information flow can contribute to the swift spread of toxic fan behavior tren‭ds, leading to ‬

the rapid ‭ ‬escalation of ‭ ‬conflicts within online fan ‭ ‬communities. The ‭ ‬influence of media

trends intersects with teenagers' innate desire for social validation. The pressure to conform

to prevailing trends within fan communities can induce a fear of exclusion. Teenagers may

feel ‭ ‬compelled to ‭ ‬adopt ‭ ‬toxic ‭ ‬behaviors or ‭ ‬extreme ‭ ‬attitudes to ‭ ‬gain ‭ ‬social approval ‭ ‬or

avoid being ostracized. This conformity to media-driven trends underscores the powerful

role of social dynamics in shaping teenage fan i‭nteractions.‭ ‬‬

Social Comparisons Within and Between Fan Communities‭ ‬

In the digital age, where connectivity and fandom flourish on social media platforms, the

negative impact of social comparisons has ‭ ‬cast a looming ‭ ‬shadow over ‭ ‬the landscape of

teenage fan interactions. The curated information on these platforms frequently ‭creates an ‬

idealized ‭ ‬portrayal ‭ ‬of ‭ ‬celebrities, ‭ ‬influencers, ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬even ‭ ‬fellow ‭ ‬followers, ‭ ‬laying ‭ ‬the

groundwork for ‭ ‬pervasive social comparisons. These parallels ‭ ‬materialize as ‭ ‬a powerful

force inside fan communities, giving rise to toxic fan behavior that reaches far beyond mere

rivalry. ‭ ‬The ‭ ‬constant ‭ ‬exposure ‭ ‬to carefully ‭ ‬constructed images ‭ ‬and lifestyles ‭ ‬triggers a

relentless cycle of comparison among teenagers. As teenagers navigate the intricate world

of fandom, the desire to cope up to these idealized standards becomes a pervasive force,

impacting their self‭-perception. The urge to stand out, demonstrate ‭ ‬adoration to idols, or ‬

obtain ‭ ‬attention ‭ ‬among ‭ ‬peers ‭ ‬fosters ‭ ‬a ‭ ‬competitive ‭ ‬dynamic ‭ ‬that ‭ ‬heightens ‭ ‬social

comparisons. When left uncontrolled, this competitive undercurrent breeds toxic behaviors

such as aggressive fandom, online harassment, and discriminatory practices. An unheal‭thy ‬

pursuit of supremacy taints the fundamental heart of fan ‭ ‬networks, which are formed ‭ ‬on

shared excitement.‭ ‬

The impact of social comparisons extends beyond the digital realm, permeating the crucial

stage of identity development during adolescence. Teenagers are prone to the pressures of

conforming to perceived ideals among fan networks during their early years. ‭This pressure ‬

stifles ‭ ‬the ‭ ‬normal ‭ ‬process ‭ ‬of ‭ ‬identity creation, ‭ ‬resulting ‭ ‬in ‭ ‬identity ‭ ‬distortion ‭ ‬in ‭ ‬which

people may find themselves mimicking ideals rather than embracing their genuine selves.

As a result, a generation is wrestling with the issues of building a strong and true sense of

identity in the face of the widespread effect of societal comparisons. The competitive traits

of comparisons intensifies tensions, impeding constructive conversation and collaboration.

Aggressive idol defense, exclusionary ta‭ctics, and the formation of dividing camps within ‬

fandoms become symptoms of a culture poisoned by social comparisons.‭ ‬

Perceived Threats of Fan Communities ‭ ‬

In the realm of teenage fandom, the negative impact of perceived threats casts a pervasive

shadow over the landscape ‭ ‬of fan interactions. The heightened sensitivity and emotional

investment within fandom often result to an amplification of perceived threats, triggering

a ‭ ‬cascade of ‭ ‬toxic behaviors ‭ ‬that ‭ ‬reverberate ‭ ‬through the ‭ ‬digital ‭ ‬sphere ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬real-world

dynamics. ‭ ‬Threats, ‭ ‬real ‭ ‬or ‭ ‬imagined, ‭ ‬have ‭ ‬a ‭ ‬profound ‭ ‬influence ‭ ‬on ‭ ‬the ‭ ‬emotions ‭ ‬and

conduct of teenagers established in fan cultures. Loyalty and protectiveness toward idols

or ‭ ‬other ‭ ‬fans ‭ ‬creates ‭ ‬an ‭ ‬environment ‭ ‬in ‭ ‬which ‭ ‬any ‭ ‬perceived ‭ ‬criticism ‭ ‬or ‭ ‬dissent ‭ ‬is

exaggerated and interpreted as a danger. This increased sensitivity is the r‭esult of deeply ‬

ingrained ‭ ‬emotional ‭ ‬involvement ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬para‭-social ‭ ‬relationships ‭ ‬fostered ‭ ‬within ‭ ‬these ‬

societies. The ‭ ‬immediacy and ‭ ‬visibility of perceived ‭ ‬threats heighten ‭ ‬their impact in ‭ ‬our

day, ‭ ‬when social ‭ ‬media ‭ ‬platforms serve ‭ ‬as the ‭ ‬key arenas ‭ ‬for ‭ ‬fan interactions. A single

threatening ‭ ‬word, ‭ ‬viewpoint, ‭ ‬or ‭ ‬action ‭ ‬can ‭ ‬quickly ‭ ‬escalate ‭ ‬into ‭ ‬a ‭ ‬full‭-fledged ‬

confrontation ‭ ‬inside fan ‭ ‬communities. ‭ ‬The viral ‭ ‬nature ‭ ‬of social ‭ ‬media ‭ ‬exacerbates the

spread of perceived threats, boosting emotional reactions and initiating a loop of defensive

measures.‭ ‬

Moreover, the collective response to perceived threats often takes on toxic manifestations.

The need to protect idols or the fan communities can lead to aggressive behaviors such as

online harassment, cyberbullying, or the creation of divisive factions within fandoms. The

emotional ‭ ‬investment ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬sense ‭ ‬of identity ‭ ‬tied ‭ ‬to ‭ ‬these ‭ ‬communities ‭ ‬fuel ‭ ‬a defensive

culture that further perpetuates toxicity. Beyond the digital realm, the impact of perceived

threats seeps into real‭-world interactions and relationships. Teenagers, driven by the fear ‬

of threats to their beloved idols or fan communities, may isolate themselves from dissenting

opinions, withdraw from real-life relationships, or engage in aggressive behaviors offline.

The ‭ ‬defensive ‭ ‬culture ‭ ‬bred ‭ ‬by ‭ ‬perceived ‭ ‬threats ‭ ‬not ‭ ‬only ‭ ‬perpetuates ‭ ‬toxicity ‭ ‬within

fandom but also hinders the formation of balanced social connections vital for ‭adolescent ‬

development.‭ ‬

Anonymity and Disinhibition‭ ‬

Media anonymity offers teenagers the allure of participating ‭ ‬in ‭ ‬fan communities without

the ‭ ‬constraints ‭ ‬of revealing ‭ ‬their ‭ ‬true ‭ ‬identities. While ‭ ‬this initial ‭ ‬freedom ‭ ‬might ‭ ‬seem

liberating, it often sets the stage for the manifestation of toxic behaviors. ‭The detachment ‬

from real-world consequences emboldens individuals to express extreme opinions, engage

in fervent fandom loyalty, or ‭ ‬partake in online conflicts without ‭ ‬being held accountable.

This anonymity amplifies ‭ ‬the emotional ‭ ‬intensity within ‭ ‬fan communities, ‭ ‬cultivating ‭ ‬a

culture where actions and words are divorced from the repercussions they might have on

real individuals. The absence of consequences and the appearance of remoteness from real-

life ‭ ‬encounters ‭ ‬lead ‭ ‬to ‭ ‬a ‭ ‬sense ‭ ‬of ‭ ‬invincibility. ‭ ‬Teenagers, ‭ ‬under ‭ ‬the ‭ ‬influence ‭ ‬of

disinhibition, might engage in cyberbullying, online harassment, or aggressive defense of

idols ‭– behaviors that escalate the toxicity within fan communities beyond the bounds of ‬

healthy ‭ ‬discourse. ‭ ‬The ‭ ‬anonymity ‭ ‬that ‭ ‬initially ‭ ‬grants ‭ ‬freedom ‭ ‬can ‭ ‬lead ‭ ‬to ‭ ‬a ‭ ‬loss ‭ ‬of

empathy, ‭ ‬as ‭ ‬individuals ‭ ‬forget ‭ ‬that ‭ ‬there ‭ ‬are ‭ ‬real ‭ ‬people ‭ ‬behind ‭ ‬the ‭ ‬usernames. ‭ ‬This

dehumanization contributes to an environment where online conflicts escalate rapidly, and

the emotional well-being of individuals is compromised in the pursuit of defending idols

or ideologies within fandom.‭ ‬

The ‭ ‬negative ‭ ‬impact ‭ ‬of ‭ ‬media ‭ ‬anonymity ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬disinhibition ‭ ‬on ‭ ‬toxic ‭ ‬fan ‭ ‬communities

reveals ‭ ‬a ‭ ‬daunting ‭ ‬landscape ‭ ‬where ‭ ‬the ‭ ‬digital ‭ ‬dynamics ‭ ‬intertwine ‭ ‬with ‭ ‬heightened

emotional fervor, fostering an environment susceptible to the proliferation of toxicity. As‭ ‬

we navigate this intricate intersection, it ‭ ‬becomes apparent that the ‭ ‬shroud of anonymity

and the disinhibiting effects of online spaces contribute significantly to the proliferation of

toxicity, ‭ ‬creating ‭ ‬an environment ‭ ‬where the ‭ ‬distinction between ‭ ‬passi‭onate ‭ ‬engagement ‬

and aggressive behavior becomes increasingly blurred.‭ ‬

CONCLUSION‭ ‬

The influence of ‭ ‬the ‭ ‬media on ‭ ‬toxic fan behavior among teenagers ‭ ‬is a complicated ‭ ‬and

diverse ‭ ‬phenomena that ‭ ‬requires ‭ ‬an in-depth ‭ ‬analysis. ‭ ‬In ‭ ‬the digital ‭ ‬age, where ‭ ‬media

consumption is pervasive, celebrity portrayal and fan community dynamics play a cri‭tical ‬

influence in molding adolescent actions and attitudes. This paper investigates the complex

relationship ‭ ‬between ‭ ‬media ‭ ‬representations ‭ ‬and the ‭ ‬onset ‭ ‬of ‭ ‬toxic ‭ ‬fan ‭ ‬behavior among

adolescents, emphasizing the importance of awareness, critical analysis, a‭nd constructive ‬

involvement in these domains. The pervasive nature of media, including social platforms,

television, and online publications, constructs and amplifies narratives around celebrities.

These ‭ ‬narratives ‭ ‬often ‭ ‬portray ‭ ‬an ‭ ‬idealized ‭ ‬version ‭ ‬of ‭ ‬individuals ‭ ‬in ‭ ‬the ‭ ‬public ‭ ‬eye,

fostering para‭-social relationships wherein fans develop emotional bonds with their idols. ‬

However, ‭ ‬this ‭ ‬idealization ‭ ‬can ‭ ‬become ‭ ‬a ‭ ‬double-edged ‭ ‬sword, ‭ ‬leading ‭ ‬to ‭ ‬unrealistic

expectations and a heightened vulnerability to defensive behaviors among teenagers when

their ‭ ‬idols ‭ ‬face ‭ ‬criticism ‭ ‬or ‭ ‬perceived ‭ ‬threats. ‭ ‬The ‭ ‬influence ‭ ‬of ‭ ‬media ‭ ‬extends ‭ ‬beyond

idolization; it shapes the norms, values, and group dynamics within fan commu‭nities. The ‬

sense of identity and unity ‭ ‬produced by these communities can foster ‭ ‬great connections,

but it can also perpetuate groupthink, promoting extreme beliefs and defensive behaviors.

Fans may receive validation for their ideas within social media echo chambers, leading to

the amplification of toxic dynamics when alternative ‭ ‬opinions are excluded and disputes

deepen.‭ ‬

Toxic fan behavior, amplified by media representations, encompasses a spectrum of actions

ranging from online harassment and trolling to extreme loyalty and exclusionary practices.

The emotional ‭ ‬investment in ‭ ‬para-social ‭ ‬relationships, coupled ‭ ‬with the ‭ ‬anonymity ‭ ‬and

immediacy ‭ ‬of online ‭ ‬interactions, can ‭ ‬create ‭ ‬an environment ‭ ‬where ‭ ‬defensive ‭ ‬reactions

flourish, hindering ‭ ‬constructive dialogue ‭ ‬and fostering division ‭ ‬within fan ‭ ‬communities.

The ‭ ‬influence ‭ ‬of ‭ ‬media ‭ ‬on ‭ ‬the ‭ ‬mental ‭ ‬health ‭ ‬of ‭ ‬teenagers ‭ ‬cannot ‭ ‬be ‭ ‬underestimated.

Excessive ‭ ‬idolization, combined ‭ ‬with ‭ ‬the burden ‭ ‬of defending ‭ ‬their ‭ ‬idols, can ‭ ‬result ‭ ‬in

stress, worry, and ‭ ‬emotional anguish. ‭ ‬Unrealistic comparisons, ‭ ‬identity distortion, ‭ ‬and a

loss of perspective amplify the negative repercussions, potentially alienating people from

real‭-life ‭ ‬connections ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬responsibilities. ‭ ‬Ultimately, ‭ ‬the ‭ ‬impact ‭ ‬of media ‭ ‬on toxic ‭ ‬fan ‬

behavior ‭ ‬among ‭ ‬teenagers ‭ ‬emphasizes ‭ ‬the ‭ ‬importance ‭ ‬of ‭ ‬a ‭ ‬multifaceted ‭ ‬approach ‭ ‬that

includes education, ‭ ‬responsible media behaviors, ‭ ‬and community ‭ ‬development. We may

strive for a media landscape that inspires adoration without creating toxicity by fostering

critical ‭ ‬awareness, ‭ ‬promoting ‭ ‬empathy, ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬cultivating ‭ ‬inclusive ‭ ‬and ‭ ‬supportive ‭ ‬fan

cultures, empowering teenagers to interact with their passions in a healthy and p‭roductive ‬

manner.

#thomas and friends #thomas the tank engine #trains #ttte #steam engine #steam locomotive #train #narcissistic traits #narcissism #actually narcissistic #narcissistic abuse #white knight #gatekeeping #ttte fandom #fandom #fucking idiots #stupid idiot #fucking morons #Nirmal's TED Talks LOL

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hiscloakmydaggers · 2 months ago

Text

writing a fic of when deacon and nic met.

their first dialogue. i plan to drop the full thing maybe a day after FHIF

౨ ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ৎ

Deacon stepped over to him, tossed his cigarette to the grass, and used the most intimidating, masculine voice he has.

“Who are you?” Great, he sounds the same as usual.

The Gunner’s pupils looked up at him, he didn’t even move his head. He could see a broken grin grow over him, one that didn’t think it should be there. “Who… who the fuck are you?” His smile sizzled down to a growl.

“Don’t have to be aggressive,” he waved his hand nonchalantly, “We don’t have to get off on the wrong foot. I don’t know you, you don’t know me, and you’re bleeding out on my property… so I think I’m the one allowed to ask the first question.”

“I’ll have your fucking head.”

“Trust me, you don’t want it,” he mumbled with a chuckle. Thank god he was able to act still and not cry from fear. So many years of skillful training leads up to moments like this!

“...The hell do you want from me?” The Gunner panted, now lowering the needle of his drug to his vein. “Informant? Institute? Minuteman? I don’t fucking care, screw off.”

“Okay, dude, can you not take that here? Literally nobody is trying to fight you right now,” Deacon kneeled down onto the damp grass. Brown eyes stared into his blue with some sort of fury. But it toned down considerably, leaving the man looking emotionless. Reluctantly, the man dropped the Psycho onto the grass.

“Geez, you sure you’re not dead yet? Do you have anything, like a bandage?”

Using force a bit too rough, the man threw the bag at his foot. A stimpak and other chems fell out, some cracked beneath the weight. Luckily the stimpak made it out alive.

“You need all of that, seriously?”

“Shut up.”

“Y’know these chems aren’t good-”

“Shut up.”

Deacon sighed and picked up the stimpak. He wiped the tip of it with his shirt, was about to prick the man, but superstition made him pause. His eyes glance up, carrying worry.

“You’re not gonna kill me or something?”

“I don’t have the time.”

An ashamed giggle left the spy’s thin lips. Tentatively, he injected the drug into one of the man's visible veins. The relief came quick, as his eyebrows loosened as if he just fell asleep.

…

nic is so cute, big buff man with horrible past and ongoing drug addiction. relationship goals!

#deacon fallout 4 #f/o #deacon fo4 #fallout 4 #self shipper #yumeship #deacnic #oc x canon #oc #fanfic #writing

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aquitainequeen · 2 years ago

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All Is Bliss (Until Someone Loses An Eye): Chapter 8: But First: TEA BREAK

I know. I know. I keep saying that Alina's going to meet Catherine and Peter, and then I give you something completely different. But these two were crying out for a scene together, and one of them in particular refused to sit back and shut up until later in the story - and then fittingly was an absolute nightmare to write.

Because of the immense struggle I had with this chapter, it's dedicated to the Writer's Guild of America, in their strike to protect their livelihoods and skills. Protect the writers!!!

As Tolstoy said in Anna Karenina, 'Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.'

Thus: when Aleksander met Baghra.

***

Hundreds of years ago her son would have brought his supposed triumph to her like a hound bringing her its prey. Decades ago, he would’ve hefted it as a club and smashed her in the face with it. Today he might have rubbed it in her face like. Like.

Fuck it. It’s too early in the morning. Something lingering and sticky, he’d have done that; save that having to bend his neck to Peter first thing upon his return seems to have burned any smug satisfaction out of him. He actually wants to lean against the fireplace to rest and allow her to see that he’s wearied, rather than playing the all-powerful Black General, even and especially in front of his own mother.

He’s grown his hair out. Once more he looks like that absolutely dire painting; the one whose artist should have been flogged for having committed such crimes against art and, yes, against her boy. He looks good. Healthy, powerful, fresh from using his power and - despite having come almost directly from seeing Peter - it seems to be one of the days where he’s actually happy to exist.

It’ll be best not to hit the ground snapping and putting him on his guard already. Civil. She can be civil. She can ask something they can both agree is right and proper: ‘Killed plenty of drüskelle on the road?’

‘Several. They’re getting far too confident, lately. Naturally Peter refuses to recognise Zlatan’s hand in such raids; he’s too busy ranting about Fjerdan fucks.’

‘Did you make them suffer?’

‘Do you know, you’re the second person who’s asked me that in the past few hours?’

‘Please tell me the first wasn’t Peter.’

‘It was.’

‘Ugggh.’ Well, that’s one safe topic sullied.

If they were any other sort of mother and son, this is where she’d make him sit down and feed and water him and listen to all his tedious troubles. But they aren’t anyone else, just themselves, and they have to live with that every day. Besides which, when she very graciously and generously offers the boy some tea, he looks at her out of the corner of his eye and asks ‘Is it drugged?’

‘Now, would I do that, right when you need your wits about you the most?’

He gives her the look that means he’s imagining slicing bits and pieces off her.

‘Really, you’re bad enough when you’re in what counts for your right mind; I shudder to think what you’d be like while off your head on mushrooms.’

The look continues.

‘All right, you’re in a mood. How about some water?’ She even points him towards the ice box where the vodka nestles, to be helpful.

‘It is eight in the morning!’ He says, as if he doesn’t carry around that fancy hip flask for his own nips of vodka when it suits.

‘So? It’s also the only way I can put up with the brats you persist in foisting upon me.’

‘…Mother, are you deliberately teaching the young ones while drunk?’

She considers. She takes her sweet time. ’Hmmm. No, I am not. Calm yourself; I wouldn’t get sloshed around the children. There wouldn’t be many of them left if I did.’

It’s been a while since she’s driven him to shut his eyes and breathe through his nose like that. ‘That. Actually makes your choice of teaching methods even worse. You do realise that makes them worse?’

‘Still effective, though.’ Fine, if there’s to be no vodka, she can try her luck elsewhere. ‘I don’t suppose lessons will be cancelled today? A feast day to celebrate this momentous occasion?’

He considers. He takes his sweet time. ‘Hmmm. No, we shan’t do that. It is a joyous day, but we must not teach the young ones to neglect their studies.’

It was an immensely long shot. Nevertheless, he must pay for this. ‘Then a small toast, if nothing else?’

‘Fuck, no. I endured enough toasts last night. So much smashed glass.’

‘Enough for you to make sand for a whole new desert beneath a new Fold?’

Ah, he could cleave her in two with that look, no need for the Cut! ‘Why are you so surprised? Did you expect an actual toast? Applause? As if you’d done something really clever?’

Elbowing himself upright off the fireplace, her boy stands so formal and offended. ‘I was hoping for perhaps a touch more genuine enthusiasm at the coming of the Sun Summoner.’

‘Well. That would depend very much on what you intend to do with her. If you’re not having any tea, you can at least make me a glass.’

He rolls his eyes at the utterly arduous task before him; nonetheless, he goes to unearth a glass. Make that glasses; evidently the sildroher-call of freshly steeped tea is just too strong to resist after all, even on the off chance that it contains mushrooms.

‘So,’ she says, once she’s got her brew, ‘how is the Fold?’

‘As much of a scar upon Ravka as ever.’ He laughs in delight as he roots out the cherry jam; it’s fleeting but still the first laugh she’s heard from him in possibly years. ‘How are your students?’

‘Fucking irritating as ever. How’s the court?’

‘Same drunk, disorderly, inbred fuckwits as ever. I had to drag some of my Healers out of their beds for numerous idiots who persisted in treading on broken glass in bare feet; in addition to several snatched scalps, a broken back and a popped testicle.’

Why? Why has she lived to a point where she has to hear sentences like this? ‘Exciting evening.’

He hums agreement through his second mouthful of jam, and swallows immediately to allow for further ranting. ‘And Peter was egging them on, of course. “In honour of the Sun Summoner!”’ He was so excited that he even started throwing glasses at the servants, as opposed to the floor. Such a child.’

This, from the man eating his mother’s cherry jam from the jar by the spoonful, barely even trying to disguise it with the occasional sip of tea. She sticks to observing, ‘It seems you’ll have some stiff competition for her time and attention.’ And likely her allegiance as well. Her boy has no doubt charmed the stockings off Alina Starkova by now and has a whole bevy of material comforts ready to woo her with; still, the girl would have to be the dumbest wench alive not to at least somewhat throw her lot in with the Emperor of Ravka, be he the dumbest cunt alive.

Her boy, in the meantime, shrugs and licks the spoon in the face of danger. ‘I quiver with fear.’

‘Remind me; what happened the last time you underestimated a monarch?’

While he struggles to swallow his rage and her jam, she gulps down some tea and still gets a word in before him: ‘Peter may be a miserable little runt compared to Old Peter or Anastas, but he’s still got your future soldiers within easy massacring distance, and your balls firmly in a vice. If he wants Starkova for his own, who are you to stop him?’

‘I am - and I cannot believe the words are coming out of my mouth - his Uncle Vanya. I am one of his grandfather’s most trusted generals, and now one of his most trusted generals. I am a person whom he wants, desperately, to be proud of him.’ Raising his glass to toast himself, looking her dead in the eye, he concludes: ‘Most certainly I can stop him.’

She’s about to ask if that’s why he was able to delay trotting Starkova out in front of Peter and begging to be allowed to keep her until this morning, but he continues, which is probably just as well: ‘In any case, Peter has decided to take a somewhat novel route. He wants the Sun Summoner to…love him.’

Their eyes meet again and for once they are in perfect agreement: the horror. The horror.

‘Which means he’ll try to be charming. Likeable. Wise and beneficent, for possibly the first time in his life. It should be both hilarious and harrowing to witness.’

‘He might yet surprise you.’ And her boy might wrinkle his nose in derision, but he’s spent so long around his boy that perhaps he thinks he’s safe, that the leopard eating people’s faces would never eat his face.

‘When last I saw the Emperor, he was raring to play with his toy soldiers and plan how precisely he’d rescue the Sun Summoner from the drüskelle. He wanted to include some wolves.’

‘…he said that to your face?’

‘Oh, yes.’

As she said just now, and much as he’ll deny it: balls. Vice. And yet: ‘And you still haven’t killed him yet?’

‘Careful, mother; that almost sounds like treason. You know, the thing you periodically counsel me against?’

‘Hnh. I am a myth. Myths cannot plot treason. More tea.’

While he’s taking her glass for a refill, he asks out of curiosity rather than concern, ‘Speaking of which, I hope Baghra Yaga hasn’t incapacitated anyone too vital to the running of the country lately?’

‘If she has, then it’s their own fucking fault for blundering around bear-infested woods for days on end. And by the way, Aleksander, pet. I’d hate to think you had anything to do with this sudden craze that half the court has, for trying to invade my home and ask for a light, of all things.’

‘Of course not, mother. It was Peter who restarted that idiotic tradition of seeking out the witch in the woods.’

A tradition which her boy seized upon and squirreled into Peter’s head. He’s doing this just to piss her off. She should call his bluff by flaying and fileting the very next drunk fuckwit that she finds near her house or in one of her traps, skewering the pieces on the Grand Palace lawns, and strewing their hair and teeth all over the place; let’s see if anyone still wants to go into the woods to find ‘the Baghra Witch’ after that. The boy thinks he can wear her down into summoning again by annoying the ever-loving shit out of her? There are many ways to skin a nosy and terminally stupid aristocrat.

Her boy, aware of her plotting but with no idea of the downfall she is weaving for him, returns her glass. ‘Just think, if you lived in the Little Palace, you wouldn’t have to put up with their attempts at rude intrusions.’

‘If I moved into your Little Palace, I would end up killing someone you would actually miss.’ He opens his mouth to protest. ‘Am I wrong?’ He shuts his mouth. ‘Best for me to stay out here, eh? Safer.’

Perhaps with visions of bisected children dancing in his head, he nods to show she’s won this round.

‘Now. Peter may be utterly lacking in charm, but Elizabeth is another matter entirely.’ She makes a show of a good long sip of this new glass before continuing. ‘What will you do if the Emperor sends his aunt as a go-between to Starkova, or if she decides to take the initiative? Volunteer yourself to distract her again? Another seduction?’

‘At present, I fancy Elizabeth’s far too busy trying to make sure Peter impregnates his wife. There’ll be no humouring his whims when it comes to other women. Likely she’ll say he’s already got a mistress and an Empress; he shouldn’t be getting greedy.’ With that out of the way, he gets that scolding look when he despairs of her wits and thinks they’re on the way out. ‘Also, you do her a grave disservice by thinking her cock-struck. She’d cut my throat in a heartbeat if she thought I was threatening him.’

‘Oh, good for her.’ She raises her glass to the Grand Duchess: a woman who knows what is going on. ‘Though it does make me wonder what you plan to do with her, in the event all your scheming actually pays off. Or with little Catherine, for that matter.’

That irritating smile of his, perhaps from thinking of past romps with Elizabeth, fizzles out. ‘I’ve literally just got back; I’ve barely had my tea, and you ask me to pass judgement on the new Empress? Before I’ve even had a chance to properly see her in action?’

‘You’d better get a move on, then, before it’s too late. The brats have been on fire about how she’s picked a fight with Countess Svenska, you might not even have to trouble yourself. She’ll be discovered face down in a fountain soon enough.’

Shockingly, he doesn’t look tempted by the prospect. ‘That won’t do; I need her alive for now. Zlatan might not have wanted her as Empress, but he’ll adore her as a martyr of East Ravka’s growing degeneracy.’

‘Well, then she lives. And what will you do if she tries to outshine Starkova?’

She waits for him to finish laughing, ducking his head and actually showing his teeth. The first time she’s seen that in years as well; today is turning out to be just full of surprises. ‘She’s not a complete fool, boy. She’s nowhere near powerful enough to steal Starkova from you and take her under her own wing, so either she tries to win her favour or attempts to blot out her light. Such as it is. What then?’

‘Then she still lives.’ Her boy plays about with his glass for really far too long before setting it aside. ‘But she won’t enjoy it.’ With that oh so dramatic threat, he starts his pacing; he’s probably eager to be heading back to his Little Palace and collect his pet, but he had to stop and gossip with her for a spell. ‘I want Alina-’

The first time that he’s spoken the girl’s name. He likes her, and he doesn’t even know it.

‘-ready to shock and amaze by the Winter Fete. She must dazzle Peter, Elizabeth, the Apparat. All the ambassadors, Zlatan and his minions, anyone who thinks that Ravka is ready to be butchered for her meat.’

Now comes the list of demands and commands. She sets her glass aside as well and prepares for battle. ‘But?

‘But there will be no cause for complaint on her part during her training. That means no fire. No unscheduled dips in the lake. No drugged tea without Alina’s explicit consent. No bear traps, no snares, and definitely no bees. Where did you even find a bee hive?’

‘Get your own.’ While he gapes at being interrupted – what, should she have stuck her hand up and waited to be permitted a word? - she strikes back. ‘Why even send her to me, then? I’ve given hundreds of your little worshippers the kick up the arse that they desperately needed; you liked the results well enough then. If you’re fretting that she’ll mewl and quit at the prospect of a few hard knocks, train her yourself. Take all the others, while you’re at it.’

‘What, when I might be sent to the furthest reaches of the empire on Peter’s whim and at a moment’s notice?’ Oh, thank Maker there’s no hesitation in his reply, so he likely won’t be calling her bluff! ‘Should I teach Alina via letters from the front? Communicate with her via some mystical bond that permits us to share our minds? She needs stability and structure to unlock her full potential, and I know I can always rely upon you to be as constant and uncompromising as the Permafrost.’

‘Flatterer.’

‘I do my best. In any case, I can hardly inflict you upon every student and then turn around and say “Except for Alina Starkova.” I won’t have any whispers of favouritism.’

Maker, the boy exhausts her sometimes. She settles back into the ideal position for deploying her perfected and devasting sidelong stare. ‘You’ve installed her in the Vezda suite, you had special crockery made for her and you demanded twenty different designs for her kefta. Definitely no favouritism there.’

‘By which you mean, I’ve installed her in the safest location in the Little Palace. And I demanded nothing; those were all tributes from the Artificers.’ He has the effrontery to look innocent. ‘I’m told there was quite a scuffle over who would get the honour of making her kefta. Even one or two duels.’

‘Regardless of whoever got their eyes scratched out, you’re the one who’s having a golden chair - yes, I know about the chair - installed next to yours in the dining hall. You realise that once the novelty wears off, they’ll bitch and moan?’ The boy’s no doubt ready to babble more about how long they have waited for their saviour, so she drowns him out once more: ‘You’ve got your latest sighthound eating out of your hand, but Zoya Nazyalenskaya has not spent years working her way up the ranks, only to be outstripped by a scrap from the provinces. Even if the sun does shine out of her arse.’

Has he only just thought of this himself? Surely not. Surely he’s not grown so soft in his palace and position that he’s forgotten self-interest and spite are also eternal. Surely - ecstatic though he is at finally having a Sun Summoner in his clutches - he’s at least considered that Zoya is not going to welcome Alina Starkova with open arms, but might rather desire to rip the very breath from her lungs and make her eyes explode in their sockets for good measure.

Well, he clearly has now. ‘Zoya will understand.’ And when she simply stares at him, he adds: ‘If not now, then soon enough. She’ll know which way the wind is blowing.’

‘…just for that, you absolutely deserve to be stabbed in the back.’

‘Fair point. But she has more than earned her rightful place for when the time comes.’

‘Even if it’s not by your side? You think that spot should go to Starkova? Can she even use her powers yet, outside of getting pricked with that ridiculous talon of yours? What exactly are you giving me to work with?’

'Why not come and see her for yourself?’ He spreads his arms, palms to the heavens, asking the universe why he has to plead again with such a stubborn old bag. 'You asked for a holiday? Quit your fireside and actually bestir your bones. Peel yourself out of your chair, always assuming you haven’t fused with it by now, and join us in our procession to the Grand Palace.’

‘And what would I do there? Is Baghra Yaga going to make a surprise appearance to curse the Emperor? The Sun Summoner? Both? Maybe even you?’

‘You could attend incognito. We’d throw a kefta on you as a disguise, stick you right in the middle of the throng, hidden amidst the Materialki. It wouldn’t precisely be a front row view, but as good as.’

There are probably more quips that he’s only making because he knows she’ll refuse and which she doesn’t bother to listen to. He can act the dutiful son rebuffed once more by his termagant mother, the sacrifices he’s made for her, the kind and generous offers she spurns! But now he must go, sighing how she is always so unreasonable, and proceed to wrangle the Emperor and mark Alina Starkova as his territory.

These are the days she almost feels some faint vestige of being well-disposed towards Peter; miserable murderous little runt with delusions of divine right though he might be, at least he isn’t plotting to take over the world.

Well, bugger all that. ‘Then we’d better get moving, if we don’t want to hold up your procession.’

He laughs – three times in one visit, such a miracle finding Starkova seems to have worked! – and then belief hits hard as she starts levering herself up from the chair. ‘You’re. You’re actually coming?’

‘Did I stutter? Really. You, the Sun Summoner and the Emperor, trying to be charming, all in the same room? I need to see what happens next.’

***

I find Baghra, and especially her teaching methods, makes a lot more sense if she's stuck into the plot of The Great. Funny old world.

Listing all the nods to other works in this chapter here, because I am not a data-scraping language generator.

Next chapter really, really is When Alina Met Catherine and Peter. I swear.

#I delayed posting this chapter on Tumblr until this evening because my laptop was away being cleaned by the computer expert #and doing posts with pictures on mobile is absolutely impossible for me #fic: all is bliss #baghra #baghra morozova #aleksander morozova #general kirigan #the darkling #darklina #the great #the great hulu #shadow and bone #sab #shadow and bone fanfic #sab fanfic #the great fanfic

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cyborg-squid · 2 years ago

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The Albuquerque Holy Grail War

okay my sister and I’s had this extended Breaking Bad and Fate crossover idea that’s so stupid and silly i can’t help but share it. broad strokes of it is that it’s basically the plot of Breaking Bad but the cast have Servants, the fights and struggles over the meth and crime empires fits perfectly with the Servants covert fight for the holy grail.

Here’s what servants they’d have (probably)

Walter White: Caster Mephistopheles. Walt fancies himself a smart man so you would know he would go for a Caster class Servant, thinking it’s the right fit for someone like him, and his chemical expertise would pair well with a Caster’s Item Construction, along with Territory Creation (Meth Lab). Also bombs. Walt is also the guy who blames all of his problems on other people, rather than himself, and Mephistopheles, a literal devil, would be the perfect scapegoat at the end of that, and there’s nothing Mephistopheles would love more than watching a human throw himself into hell and then blame it all on the devil.

“Skylar, listen to me! It wasn’t me, I would never do this willingly, it was all Caster! You don’t get it, he’s a devil, he’s been manipulating me the whole time, he must have been using some sort of mind control or something! Please, Skylar, you have to believe me!”

Jesse Pinkman: Berserker. Now, I actually don’t have a specific Berserker Servant to pair with Jesse yet, but I was thinking something along the lines of the standard yell-y type (Zerkerlot, Darius III, Caligula, etc). Throughout the series, Jesse is used as a pawn by Walt, Gus, and others, and if he was paired with a volatile yet powerful Berserker class Servant, his usefulness as a pawn increases, especially with Walt often trying to keep Jesse from turning against him, because an off-the-chain Berserker could really fuck up everything Walt’s been working for. Jesse also has the potential to see himself within the Berserker, a himself being a ‘servant’ manipulated by a ‘master’. Pairs well with Jesse’s fraught emotional state throughout the series.

Mike Ehrmantraut: Assassin Yan Qing. The core theme behind this pairing is the loyalty one has to their boss/lord, and the search for a worthy one. Skill wise, these two would complement each other very well, with Mike’s own stealth and combat capabilities and Yan Qing’s face changing and martial arts. Imagine the shootout scene in Bolsa’s mansion, but Yan Qing’s also fucking cartel guys up with his punching. Yan Qing would also see similarities between himself and Mike, two men very loyal to their bosses, sometimes to their own detriment.

Gustavo Fring: Lancer Diarmuid. I actually changed my mind mid writing this one, originally I was going to have Gus with a more typical Assassin Servant, probably a Hassan, and while a Servant like that could still work for him, my sister suggested that Assassin Yan Qing is a better pairing for Mike, and that the Diarmuid I’d originally planned for Mike could work for Gus, even if someone like Gus would prefer an Assassin class Servant. In Diarmuid, you have a Servant who has been devoted to his lord to the point of his own detriment, in an attempt to make up for his past betrayal (Gawain could also work as Gus’ Servant). Lancer’s ideals of chivalry and honor would clash with Gus’ way of doing things, but Gus would not hesitate to use Command Seals or other forms of coercion to get Lancer to do what he wants. You can imagine the scene where Gus slits Victor, but he’s using a Command Seal to get Diarmuid to do it.

Saul Goodman: Archer Moriarty. Now this one was originally just a funny idea but then i actually realized it had a lot of merit. Despite Saul’s face being on billboards around Albuquerque, he’s a very behind the scenes guy when it comes to the drug trade, as well as his own past crimes. He also, importantly, as the guy helping everyone launder money, has his hands (potentially) on a lot of it, and Moriarty would be eager to take advantage of this. Not for Moriarty’s own benefit, he’d have no use for the money, but to see what Saul might do with it. Saul is already someone who has, at the start of BBad, put his old name and life behind him and continued to walk down the wicked path, something that Moriarty would be very keen to see the end result of. The conversations between the two would also be very fun.

The Salamancas: Rider Blackbeard (done seriously). The focus of the Salamanca Servant is less on the relationship between Servant and Master, and more on how the Master-ship is split between the Salamancas. Hector was the one who summoned the Servant and has the Command Seals, but gives control/usage of Blacbeard to Tuco, and later, the twins. When Tuco is killed, the other Masters think that the Rider Servant will have disappeared, only to be surprised later on when Teach is still around. This role of Hector’s in BBad, as someone who is often overlooked or looked down upon just because he’s old, wheelchair-bound, and can’t speak, can tie in well with the sort of front that Blackbeard puts up, both of them being overlooked by their foes, their actual capabilities ignored until it is too late.

I do know I’m missing a Saber-class Servant, and I’m not entirely sure who it’d be paired with. Could be Hank, the Servant gets killed either during the twins attack on Hank, or maybe the Saber dies saving Hank’s life during the stakeout. Either way, Walt and Jesse think Hank’s out of the War, with his Servant gone, but Hank still continues his investigation.

Or maybe the 7th Servant belongs to Kim! She’s not present (physically) in BBad but she still feels like a worthy Master candidate, and the non-appearance of a Saber during the main events of the Albuquerque Holy Grail War would have the rest of the Masters on edge and wary of a surprise attack, one that never comes.

#fate series #fate stay night #fate grand order #breaking bad #better call saul #my posts #this was so dumb lol

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lastbluetardis · 3 years ago

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Top 5 Fics

@sherl-grey tagged me to do a list of my top five fics. Thanks for the tag, darling! 💜 I wasn’t entirely sure if this was a top 5 kudos’ed or my top five favorite that I’ve written, but I’ve gone with the latter 😄

1. Catalysis series -- This series (currently just two stories) grew into something I didn’t anticipate. At first, it was just a fun little college AU that I wanted to play around with, but as I started writing Chemical Potential, these characters took on a life of their own and really guided the story. Then with its sequel Chemical Reaction, I had anticipated it to be a short little ten-chapter thing to guide me through their courtship, but once again, James and Rose took the story in a very different direction. I hadn’t realized how much trauma Rose was still holding on to, and I hadn’t realized how insecure James was about himself and his ability to be a good romantic partner. Chemical Reaction is by far one of my all-time favorite fics, and I suspect will continue to be one of my favorites.

2. What Makes a Family -- Once again, this story grew beyond what I expected it to be. I knew right from the start that there were two halves of the plot: James and Rose falling in love, and River returning. I expected each half to be approximately 50-75,000 words, give or take. Well, the story is currently sitting at 212,000 words, and I’ve barely skimmed the surface of the River plot, so God only knows how long this will end up being. But I am having the time of my life writing it. I love this little family. I love James and Rose and their kids, and I love destigmatizing “broken” families, and that dads can be really wonderful caregivers, and, as Rose said, “What makes a family isn’t blood or biology or DNA. It’s about love. Above all, love. And feeling safe and happy with the people you choose.”

3. Perfect Match -- This was my first baby. I’d never written a really long fic before, and certainly not such a long AU fic. But I’d read a prompt on tumblr that had me wondering how a soulmateship such as theirs would work, and how they would slowly fall into many forms of love with each other over the course of their youth, and how it would help them through tumultuous times. This series is a behemoth now, but I will always hold a spark of fondness for this story--it was definitely my gateway drug into long-fic AUs, and I haven’t really looked back since. I’m in the process of rewriting/editing this story because I’m lowkey mortified at my past writing skill/style. Which means I grew a lot since I first wrote it in 2016/2017, but still, I cringe to go back and reread some parts of it 😅

4. Sacred New Beginnings -- This story kinda crept up on me and demanded it be written. I was just vibing to Taylor Swift and suddenly ideas started tugging at my sleeve. I was so curious to explore how a relationship could begin and blossom when at least one half of the partnership was constantly in the public eye, and what it would mean for the couple. I wanted to know what sorts of trials and tribulations they would face, and also the joys and victories they would celebrate. This story let me play around with grimmer, grittier versions of James and Rose, which was a nice breath of fresh air for me.

5. In a Heartbeat -- This is an oldie of mine, something I wrote back in 2017 when I was fully in my soulmates trope obsession. It was a lot of fun to write and fairly short, it’s about soulmates who wear rings in which you’re able to feel your soulmate’s heartbeat. It was a slightly angstier/more dramatic fic than I typically write, but I really enjoyed myself.

Thanks so much again for the tag! I’m gonna tag @elialys, @melusine0811, @loupettes, @tenroseforeverandever, @lizann5869 and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it! 💜

#tag game #writing #about me

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stopeatingwhales · 3 years ago

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vinyl searching (pt. 2) x graham coxon

here’s the second part, hope you guys like it! there’s something about 1999 graham that i just love so much, and i know he was struggling during this time so i wanted to write about caring for him because he clearly needed it during this time.

Pairing: 1999! graham coxon x reader

Warnings: none :)

Word count: 3.166

part one

Requested by anon x

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Me and Graham decided on meeting in a small bar on the same road, a couple hours later in the evening. Once my shift was over, I had scurred off to my little flat in order to put together an outfit that was appropriate. I didn’t want to wear something that was too overtly sexual - hell, I wouldn’t even have the courage to be able to wear something like that - so I decided upon wearing an oversized t-shirt and baggy jeans. Very 90s. However, me meeting up with Graham was probably going to be more for him than it was for me - although I was so happy that me and him finally were able to take our ‘friendship’ somewhere outside of the small record shop that he sees all my life in, it was very evident that he was in need of someone to be there for him. Now, understanding his demeanor and overall attitude to things from the multiple times that we had conversated, I had hoped to be the one that he needed. Although there was many time I could’ve attempted such a gathering previously, you never know when would be the right moment to chip in and attempt to portray the care that you have stored internally for that significant person, and how they would react to that. For Graham it was a much more awkward situation; the only times of our communication were technically only professional, from a worker providing help and service to a customer. That was how esoteric we were to one another - practically known strangers. If I had come across Graham in a supermarket and he had noticed me, chances are that we wouldn’t interact, the only communication we would be able to branch out to one another being a simple ‘Oh hi! You alright?’. You had to build a sort of relationship with someone over a period of time in order to be able to do something like I did, and that is minusing the amount of nerves you'd have, as well as the courage you’d have to give yourself.

After I had finished with my constant worrying about how this meet-up was going to turn out, I left the house to go to the bar. The walk there felt as if I had been repeating the same events that had occurred during the day, just at a different moment in time. Hardly anybody was in the streets, which was quite ordinary at this hour of day, though it always seemed as if nobody left their homes. As I walked past countless convenience stores, hairdressers and fast-food places, which proved to show there was residency above them from the brick wall built on top, contrasted against windows placed as an outlook to life, very ironically used as to convey that nobody was ever leaving their homes, it proved to me just how mundane and repetitive life had become. The distance apart between each sheet of glass to the one adjacent to it being monochrome. Constant. Unchanging. Almost how all of our lives have been built to follow a system of continuous, resolute living, perpetually ignoring how it forces our lives, that have so much undermined potential, to be wasted, to the point we are simply dependent on enjoying life as we admire it. From a window in our bedroom, to which it becomes boring - as all you are ‘admiring’ is the same sight, every single time. And though this way of living may not be satisfactory, or enjoyable in the slightest, protesting against it would not do anything. Strikes from work would not do anything; you still need to live, and to live you need to earn money, money earned from working. It’s a ceaseless cycle which destroys the mere idea of a dream, aspiration, or motivation to carry on. In turn, what is received is the attractiveness of sadness, distress, and melancholy. You cannot shame those for being addicted to something harmful; if there is no point created for their lives except to be a little pawn on the chessboard of this planet, to take a risk and rebel against it is all you can do - though it would only put you in a situation which can cause more harm than good to yourself.

Once I had arrived at the bar, I decided to wait by the entrance so there would not cause confusion for Graham as to whether I was inside the building or not. I had noticed the skies begin to significantly darken in their calming shades of blue, instigating the advent of the evening to commence, however it was not dark enough to see sparkles in the empyrean yet. Though it was beautiful to stare at the single-coloured canvas, questioning the mere idea as to how it had formed such a shade of peace, but also existentially questioning how things come to be. Nevertheless, my admiration for the skies was quickly interrupted. “Hi y/n.”

Shifting my head into alignment with his, I had been greeted by the sight of Graham, facial expression clearly evident of nervousness, though it was attempted to be masked from a small smile curving on the corner of his lip. I noticed he was still in the same clothing as he had been in our previous encounter at the record shop earlier in the day, which caused a grin to paint itself on my facial expression. “Hi Graham,” I chriped, connecting eyes with him for a second, widening my smile that was already plastered on my face. “Let’s go inside.”

Inside the bar was nothing much I hadn’t expected; smoke surrounding the atmosphere from cigarettes, and due to the time being early, the place wasn’t as crowded, but you’d assume it to be from the clouds of smoke that welcomed you once you pushed the door open - you could hardly see the lengthy oak wood table separating you from the myriad amount of drinks that could be supplied to you by a simple asking. Ushering over to the nearest booth available, me and Graham sat opposite each other. The booths were always much more comfortable to sit and relax in, the cushioning of the sofa was almost that of a pillow; it was so cozy it was hard not to fall asleep on them. It was a much better choice of seating rather than the tall timber stools attached to the bar. I never found it appealing to sit there and have a chat with someone; it felt as if my privacy had been snatched away with ears surrounding every place my eyes could land upon. It's a much more peaceful atmosphere in a booth, which I had assumed would be a preferable place for Graham, shown from his quiet demeanour. His quietness was something that engaged me so deeply into him as a person - he wasn’t the type to rush to the bar, get drunk, and go off with the first person he had seen, who he hadn’t properly connected with or perhaps spoken to at all. He was much more down to earth, potentially from the amount of fame he had gained over the past couple years; it makes those yearn for silence, and in turn changes their perspectives and outlooks on simple things like outings with friends, for some may avoid them at all costs out of anxiety and fear of being noticed. You’d think that’s the absolute of their desires, being famous, stealing the hearts of so many, but it becomes so much more than that. The press picking out every ‘flaw’ you have or things that you do, the crowds of youngsters dying to get an autograph as if their lives depend on it, the paparazzi perpetually flicking their cameras only because you trotted on the same street to go to the same shop that every normal person goes to… The amount of eyes constantly on you gets overwhelming. I empathised with those who turned to drugs and alcohol to escape horrible feelings like these. Just like Graham.

“Do you want me to get you anything?” I asked Graham sweetly, my smile still on my face.

“Yeah sure, I’ll have a beer.” He responded, our eyes glued to one another's which made me notice the eyebags that had drooped onto the top of his cheeks; it was very evident that he had attempted to nap before meeting me, which made my heart swell out of pity for him - it was obvious he was struggling to even sleep these days.

I nodded before heading to the bar and ordering our drinks. Waiting for our drinks at the bar gave me time to think over everything that was currently happening. It felt as if my entire day had vanished to this one moment where I had unexpectedly landed myself ordering beverages at a bar with the one and only Graham Coxon. It was a wonder to think about how he was feeling at this current moment. He didn't seem as if he was doing well at the moment, he always seemed so exhausted, and his social skills had become very poor over a couple of weeks. It went from him being very calm and candid in our short encounters, slyly recommending each other music with subtle hints of our liking toward each other, to him forming a much more apparent stutter in comparison to the one he already had, as well as being unable to connect eyes with me for a interminable period of time - it was evident that things were progressively getting worse for him, though I wasn’t going to force him into speaking about anything. I just wanted him to be aware that he had at least a friend there for him, potentially that being the girl that he would always see at his local record store.

Walking over back to the booth, I handed him his pint of beer. “Thank you,” he mustered, almost instantly taking a sip from it before noticing the drink I had bought for myself. “Orange juice?”

I laughed slightly at his shocked reaction as I lit myself a cigarette and took a hit from it, him definitely not expecting that of all drinks. “I don’t really like to drink, it never makes me feel that good.”

“But you smoke?” He questioned, a confused expression plastered on his face, paired with a grin.

“Smoking helps with stress, alcohol makes you drunk and gives you hangovers which simply ruin your day,” I answered back, taking a sip from my drink. “Also orange juice is literally the best juice, alcohol tastes like shit you know.”

A small chuckle escaped out of Graham’s throat, causing my eyes to land back onto him again. I gained the perception that he felt somewhat better about actually speaking with someone, which made me feel so touched and taken aback; I had genuinely felt my heart skip a beat out of sadness and yearning for him. He genuinely deserved better than what was going on with him mentally and physically, and the fact that he couldn’t even celebrate the release of his band’s 6th album was paining - he couldn’t attend a lot of the sessions, not out of detest towards any of his band members, but because he mentally couldn’t bring himself to. He was isolating himself without realising, or he may have realised, but couldn’t do anything to stop it. “I must agree on that… But orange juice is too sweet,” He replied, scoffing. “It’s definitely not that much better than a pint of beer, love.”

Shaking my head out of offense towards his last remark, I inhaled my cigarette once again before exposing the smoke from my lungs. Diverting my stare to the ashtray in the middle of the booth, I examined the built-up ash on the tip from the roll of tobacco crumble off from a single flick of the wrapped up paper. “Anyways, how are you?” I asked him, simultaneously offering him a cigarette whilst doing so to avoid any awkwardness.

After taking a cigarette from the packet I owned, then lighting it, he answered. “I’m alright. What about you?”

“Apart from being offended by you saying orange juice is gross, I’m alright too,” I joked, earning another laugh from Graham. “You seem tired.”

Sighing slightly, I watched him scan the room before answering. “Yeah, I am. What gave that away?”

“Your eye bags, you look like you haven’t slept,” I responded, hoping that what was leaving my mouth wouldn’t come across as offensive in any way. “Not in a rude way, though.”

“In all honesty, I haven’t really been able to sleep recently. Not a clue why.” He replied, taking a hit from his cigarette before copying my actions from earlier and erasing the gathered dust onto the ashtray.

“Oh, I understand that,” I said, taking a long drag of the cancer stick before replying. “Same thing happens to me when I’m stressed.”

As the night went on, we spoke about all sorts of things, trying to get to know one another much more as we were so intrigued by each other’s presence. Over time, he opened up much more, his poise changing from being a quiet, dismal, bereaved person, isolated from society, to one that seemed as if he was enjoying himself by hanging out with a friend. Seeing a beam constantly illustrated on his face made me realise this outing meant more than just ‘meeting a friend’. It was leaving the house for the first time in ages, to simply have a good time with someone. He was gentrifying the bare human emotions that he had forgotten were calloused out of anger inside himself. The atmosphere is much different when we’re separated by the till in the record store, the only conversations we could tend to have surrounding music or the weather that day. I felt so much more connected to Graham in this given moment, and knowing that he was gaining pleasure from this made me feel so much happier. Finally, he seemed content, relaxed, and much more aware of his surroundings, not caught up entirely by his mind and the evilness that he would be manipulated by. It was as if from this simple meet-up, he had realised that there was so much more to life than staying at home, pent up with his own thoughts; to his dismay. And though it can be extremely difficult to overcome the hurdles of not believing everything your brain implements to your mind, the important part was that he was making progress. By merely speaking with another person, about topics completely contrasting the negativity resident in his brain, it takes his mind off of things, and would allow the realisation that he is able to overcome these struggles, with the right support.

We hadn’t realised just how long we had been conversing for, until the room began pouring with young adults ready to enjoy a night with their friends. A quick glance at the clock gave the hour away; it was nearing midnight. The time was hardly wasted, we had both created a friendship and connection with one another which bloomed like roses during the spring seasons. Absolutely beautiful. I knew that what we had formed with each other would last for at least a significant amount of time, and I definitely hoped that it would. “Let’s get going, it’s getting a bit crowded right now.” I said, getting up from my seat - Graham nodding along and following me out.

There was a distinctive change in temperature inside the bar in comparison to the streets. The breeze was more prominent, with the skies now pitch black accompanied with the twinkle of the stars and the picturesque glow of the moon. We both began walking to the end of the street, having no idea what was about to occur, going along with it as if there was nothing else in the world except us two, as if it was just ours, and that nothing else mattered at all. This shared moment between us was the only thing able to plague our minds, for everything else that crossed our minds seemed to be insignificant, with no importance to our lives from here on, no matter how much it had afflicted our minds from apprehension hours prior to this moment. Oh, the vulnerable silence shared between us. How much importance it held towards aiding our minds, providing a certain mental clarity that was simply unheard of, as if a certain point of synchronicity in time was exposed between us, forming it as though, as banal as life is day-to-day was always, there was euphoria. Subconsciously, we were both communicating with each other in a sort of telepathy that was so rare in newly flourished relationships like ours. It was as if I had always been close with Graham, as if he was always a cogent figure in my life, that today was only just another catch-up session after not being able to talk with one another for a significant period of time. We both enjoyed ourselves, and there was no need to say anything about it. It felt as though if one of us spoke, it would erase all the memories of the occasion shared in the bar previously. Nothing could explain the elation my body was feeling at this time; from life seeming so meaningless and dull, experiencing something like this amount of joy came as such a shock to my body - it felt as if I had been drugged with so much alcohol that I was witnessing junctures that were only fragments of my imagination.

Stopping our slow pace at the end of the road, I turned my body to face Graham’s, him copying the same actions as me. Briefly, I stared lovingly into his eyes, a smile perched on my lips, him reciprocating with a beam, purely out of content, not mannerisms. Turning my head to stare at his hands, which awkwardly embraced one another, I mustered enough courage to form an embrace with both my palms - him slightly taken aback at first, to which he quickly went along with the moment. His hands were soft, delicate, and held warmth interlocked with mine. We simply stood there, hands laced together, inhaling the brisk air whilst slow waves of air gushed between us. Nothing could get more perfect than this. It was evident that between us, it was definitely more than a simple friendship, and it was obvious that both participants were not objecting against such passion to be compromised into something more. The action of holding his hand gave the notion that he was not alone in everything that he was undergoing; it was there for reassurance, as if it was me indirectly saying, I know you’re struggling, you don’t have to tell me, and I can tell you seem lonely, but I’m here for you. And I won’t ever leave, or let go.

“See you soon, Graham.”

#graham coxon x reader #blur band #britpop #nineties #imagines #my writing #fluff #graham coxon #blur #fanfic #band imagines #90s

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cienie-isengardu · 3 years ago

Note

Not only do I not regret asking you to "RELEASE THE RAMBLES!", I'm sending you requests for more. Below is a list of questions that I asked @bihansthot , and enjoyed their answers, but because you are so thorough, and answer in such depth, I'm re-asking them to you.

Brace yourself, it's a list. I didnt have time to sort thru them, I just copied and pasted, so if any are questions you already answered before, please feel free to include the links.

"LET US BEGIN!"

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In the spirit of potential future writing, I'm trying to find a building that would make a good substitution for Lin Kuei temple.

I've tried looking up ancient Chinese military barracks/forts, and have found some stuff, but is all exterior. Anyone know of any locations (or several I can cobble together) that would make good inspiration fodder?

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So, uhm, religion? What's the Lin Kuei's take on that one? I know they are aware of Gods, they team up with/ encounter Raiden all the time, and have literally worked for/against Shinook, so I know they recognize higher powers... but I guess the question is, do they care?

Do they have a religion, or spiritual practice that resembles religion? Or do they have a more practical approach "gods exist, but we just consider them very strong people"?

Which segues into... do they recognize and participate in holidays, or things like birthdays? Or are all their celebrations work related (I.E. successful missions or levels of combat mastery)?

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Food. What foods do they normally eat? What foods do they like? What foods don't they like? What foods do they absolutely love so much they'll stop what they're doing to get it?

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If you had to match the Lin Kuei with a dynasty, what one would it be? (I know the 2021 movie has the opening in the Ming dynasty, so the Lin Kuei is at least that old, but given that movie Bi Han hasn't aged in 400 years, and was taken is a child, its probably much older) (and also know the game probably cherry picked random Chinese things it liked).

What do you think the Lin Kuei's view on artistic culture (probably not the right word) is? I know they are heavily militaristic, but in the game, Kuai Liang offers Hanzo tea and he properly prepares it the Japanese way, that says they have something of an education other than just related to fighting?

Lastly, in the movie, everything Bi Han does is "for the Lin Kuei", but the Lin Kuei is on Earth (assumedly), and he is working for a guy who wants to enslave Earth, so what do you think the deal is?

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Question about the Cryomancers. I know the game lore says that they are supposed to be rare, but I also know that the Lin Kuei have had at least 5 (grandpa, papa, older, and younger Sub Zero, and Frost). 4 of which are part of 3 generations that inherited it even with mixed blood (I'm assuming Mama Sub Zero wasn't Cryomancer since they left her alone).

That's a lot of generations in a row for a rare trait... So do you think the Cryomancers as a group have figured out they're being hunted and have chosen to live in hiding?

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Lin Kuei society question? I like writing so I also like world building and I think about these things.

Is Lin Kuei society ever covered? I know there is a Grandmaster, a handful master assassins (Sub Zero's, Sektor, Cyrax, etc) and the movies always have a bunch canon fodder lesser assassins.

And they live in the very isolated Lin Kuei Palace/Temple in Arktika (or wherever it used to be)

But is Lin Kuei (we'll call it "village") ever covered? Do they have willing servants, kidnapped slaves, or a mix of both? Are there women (non fighter women, I know there's Frost) or do they employ strictly male help? If there are women, what's their role, and are there children born there? What about Elderly? What about resources, is everything (from food, clothes, weapons, and the raw materials to create them) grown or manufactured on sight by skilled laborers or do they import/interact with the outside world? How vicious or civil is this society, could you be killed for looking at Sektor wrong or do they value your services to a degree? What's the degree? This is obviously a combat culture, but is everyone expected to know martial arts of some variety, is it optional, or do they prohibit it among the servants/slaves? How strict are they on things like clothing, food, alcohol, drugs, "luxuries", or pleasures? Money? If they interact with the world do they recognize and use $$ currency, commodity currency, or a mixture? Internally are the Lin Kuei payed or just provided for? What about illness or injury, if you're not a master and it a serious injury/illness are you taken care of or do they just give you a quick death?

Etc. That's all the questions I can think of, but please feel free to answer questions I didn't ask, if you think of anything else.

Thank you for this wonderful list to talk about! I’m gonna split the answer into smaller parts, for better focusing on each aspect but also so I don’t feel bad for keeping you waiting for ages, lol. For now let’s focus on asks about the religion!

So good questions! I do think they have some spiritual practice(s) because in martial arts the state of a mind is as important as the physical body and religion is one of many ways to shape someone’s mindset from a young age. I do, however, think that Lin Kuei does not worship the gods. They are aware that the gods exist (with Raiden as the thorn in the side) and may even respect their supernatural powers and battle skills but it never has stopped Lin Kuei from desecrating holy places, murdering people and stealing stuff for the best price. So, it seems to me that whatever religion the members of the clan follow, by nature it is rooted in nontheism.

Of course, there is also a chance that Lin Kuei worships some forgotten deity or deities (as a remnant of their ancient connections with Outworld / realms conquered and destroyed by Shao Kahn?) or may even practice ancestor worship which seems like a good way to uphold a widely understood tradition that plays an important role in the discussed community.

The closest thing to religious practice was seen in Mortal Kombat X, when Sub-Zero and his warriors seemed to pray together before statue of god / deity / ancestor / legendary warrior / personalized thing they value the most (sadly, my knowledge about Asian religious practices or faiths is very limited so I don’t have idea if the statue is supposed to represent any real god/religious symbol).

At the same time, it could be just a bluff since Grandmaster was aware of Cage’s team infiltrating the Lin Kuei territory and used this moment to lure them into a trap. Additionally, Mortal Kombat X comics presented once Kuai Liang sitting before the same statue albeit in a completely different (devoid of reverence?) position.

Of course, if we take into account Mortal Kombat Armageddon, the game states that Lin Kuei Temple placed in Arctika was actually once the Temple of Delia (the great sorceress & wife of god Argus) that at some point get abandoned and re-used by Sub-Zero’s clan.

(In the background, we can see a statue of Delia that Lin Kuei does not worship but did not remove for whatever reason. Mixing both old and new games, we can only wonder if MKX!statue is also the remnant of someone else's faith/religion?)

Beside that, Kuai Liang was pretty vocal about Lin Kuei not worshipping the Elder Gods, what was seen in MK11’s intro dialogue with Cetrion

Sub-Zero: The Lin Kuei do not worship the Elder Gods.

Cetrion: We seek gratitude, not worship.

Sub-Zero: I see no distinction.

and personally did not have any reason to pray to the goddess:

Sub-Zero: Why should I pray to you?

Cetrion: Why does a bird flap its wings?

Sub-Zero: I asked a simple question.

In all fairness, in MK11 Kuai Liang seems the most passive-aggressive toward the Elder God while Frost is focused on her ambitions and Noob!Bi-Han just wants to be left alone when bothered by Cetrion. Similar thing happens toward Raiden. Despite gratitude for saving him, Kuai Liang does not spare the god criticism (can’t serve both Elder Gods and Earthrealm, isn’t fit for his role of protector) and in MKX outright says he does not fear divine beings:

Raiden: Sub-Zero...

Sub-Zero: I fear no gods, Raiden.

Raiden': That's why you shall lose.

Surprisingly, Kuai Liang’s interaction with MK11!Fujin sounds less accusing than with Raiden and Cetrion and it is connected closely to their ties with Bi-Han. And maybe Kuai Liang did seek in the past Fujin and other elements to make a peace with them, like he planned to do so in Mortal Kombat 4 Limited comics?

"I came here to make peace with the gods of the elements that you fought [...]"

Anyway, the accusingly behaviour toward Raiden and Cetrion could be just Kuai Liang’s personal dislike for gods and serious authority issues, which makes sense considering how much he suffered because of their meddling and conflicts.

But honestly?

The available examples of Lin Kuei attitude toward gods, demigods and supernatural beings suggest how little the warriors - especially cryomancers - care for them.

Like, we have Bi-Han in Mythologies, who asked Quan Chi about details of mission:

Sub-Zero: If it's so precious, why don't you get it yourself?

Quan Chi: I cannot enter the temple until the four elements within its walls have been defeated. And I am not on the best of terms with the gods of your realm... especially your god of thunder.

Sub-Zero: Tell me about these elements.

Quan Chi outright said he and earthrealm gods weren’t friends and Bi-Han, reading between the lines, could get the idea that he may end on bad terms with Thunder God. Yet he was interested only in elements (lesser gods than protector of realm?) guarding the temple.

Then Bi-Han beat down four demigods and met a displeased Raiden after Quan Chi got the Shinnok Amulet. His reaction? No fear, like meeting an angry god was a normal occurrence.

Rayden: Do you realize what you've done??

Sub-Zero: I was just earning my living.

Rayden: Your clan's ignorance and greed will cost this entire realm. You must now set things straight.

Sub-Zero: Quan Chi could simply be a lunatic sorcerer. I've never heard of an elder god named Shinnok or of a place called the Netherrealm.

Rayden: Well, you'd better start believing in both, because you're going to the Netherrealm and you're going to bring the amulet back. We must act quickly. I have no dominion in the Netherrealm... You are reality's only hope.

Sub-Zero: I'll do it, Thunder God... but only because I have no choice.

And once he came back from Netherrealm, where he was fixing what he messed up in the first place on Raiden’s order, his abrasive attitude did not change much:

Sub-Zero: Here... the amulet.

Rayden: Impressive, Sub-Zero. Perhaps you will reconcile your reckless past after all.

Sub-Zero: That's it? Not even a thank you?

Of course, to some degree Raiden’s words did have an impact on Bi-Han but even the god’s warning about his soul tainted with evil did not stop him from coming back to Lin Kuei. Bi-Han’s attitude and/or approach to gods seems to change somehow once he was reborn as Noob, but that is a different matter for different times.

Anyway, Mythologies!Bi-Han and MK11!Noob act less aggressive toward gods than Kuai Liang. But then we have Sub-Zero from from the MK novel by Jeff Rovin, who not only is not afraid of gods but outright insult them:

“Wait! Be warned, Shang Tsung. He is cursed!”

“Cursed? By whom?”

Ruthay wailed, “By the immortal Yu.”

Shang Tsung felt cold spiders crawl up his spine. “The demigod Yu?”

“Yes… he who is said to dwell in the underground caverns of Horse Ear Mountain… which is sacred to the goddess Kuan Lin. He who protects the canals… and the tunnels… and looks after all who use them, human and animal.”

“What did our brash friend do to Yu?”

“He… killed a man,” said Ruthay.

“What man?”

“A toll-taker… one who had given up a life of crime… one who had been a partner of the man… you… seek.”

“And how did that crime come to the attention of the spirit of Yu?” Shang Tsung asked.

“The man was killed… slowly disemboweled with a sword… while accomplices forced his wife and his son to look on! After his murder… the man’s remains… were dumped into a canal!”

Shang Tsung raised an eyebrow. “Is that all? I was expecting something truly terrible!”

“It was!” Ruthay shrieked. “When he disposed of the body… in that way … he profaned one of the sacred waterways… of Yu!”

Shang Tsung smiled now. “Then he is definitely the man I want,” he said. “Anyone who is impudent enough to insult a demigod won’t be afraid to attack a member of the White Lotus Society, or the gods who watch after them. I will send Hamachi, Ruthay. When he nears his goal, see through his eyes and guide him!”

Book!Sub-Zero was impudent enough to insult a demigod which is why he was one of Shang Tsung’s favorites. And to be clear - book!Sub-Zero did not regret insulting the demigod at all. Even more! He found humor in it!:

He dwelt in a cave two hundred feet up the face of a cliff by the sea. The mouth of his home was barely wide enough to accommodate a slender adult, and was accessible only by climbing the sheer wall of rock, a feat that was impossible for most adults and daunting even to the few arachnids and marsupials that tried it.

Maybe some of them were even sent by Yu, he thought with a smirk, little assassins who would chastise me for having spilled blood in his precious canal.

The less abrasive attitude toward gods was shown by Cyrax, who talked a bit with Raiden over Bi-Han’s remains. He wasn’t outright antagonistic but wasn’t overall respectful either. He talked with Thunder God like he would talk with any other human being that wasn’t actually Scorpion. Frankly, from the named Lin Kuei only MK9!Smoke actually addressed Raiden in respectful manner, with proper bow and the name of lord

albeit did he do so because he respects the divine beings or just out of gratitude for saving him, hard to tell for sure.

So yeah, it seems like no matter what kind of timeline or age or medium of the story, Lin Kuei does not fear gods nor pray to them. And the clan has a long history of dealing with Raiden, so the Lin Kuei had first-hand experiences with supernatural beings. Somehow, cryomancers are the most impudent warriors when it comes to dealing with or criticizing the gods.

Interestingly, as much as Lin Kuei warriors don’t care for gods, most of the known to us named characters believe to have - and to care - for their own souls. Sektor and MK11!Frost embraced the Cyber Lin Kuei idea but Kuai Liang, Cyrax and Smoke were opposed to C.I. project out for concern for their souls among other things. Even Bi-Han, to some degree became concerned about his soul after trip to Netherrealm.

Believing in souls is usually a sign of belief in the afterlife, albeit after all of them went through (the change into cyborgs, death and change into Revenants) this is less a matter of faith (religion) and more first-hand experiences. And let's not forget that regularly dealing over the centuries with Shang Tsung who steals people's souls on a daily basis makes it really hard to not believe spirits are real.

Also, an interesting matter of Lin Kuei practices that could have a religious/spiritual ground and/or be an example of ancestor worship is the clan’s funeral rites. I don’t think we actually saw any Lin Kuei to bury their own (especially after warrior’s failure?) and for sure MK9!Cyrax and Sektor did not bother to take care of Bi-Han’s remains. However the sources provide examples of Lin Kuei keeping corpses, most likely of their own leaders or warriors.

And so, we could see human remains:

put in two coffins on each side of statue

hidden / kept in a block of ice(?) in chamber of Fallen Lin Kuei in which Frost’s frozen body was also laid, but on the altar

Cyrax’s cyber body was kept and guarded by Sub-Zero (and this is like the only thing that Kuai Liang and Cyber Sektor so far agreed on)

and even Cyber Sektor’s remains, even if just for pragmatic reasons, are kept in what seems to be respectful manner:

It could be just Kuai Liang’s good nature to honor fallen of his clan (I’m still not sure if Lin Kuei Palace is the new place for Sub-Zero’s clan or the ancient hideout) but even in MK Conquest TV series, after Grandmaster was killed by then-currently-Sub-Zero, there was the farewell ceremony with clothes on display (cause there was not much left of body after freezing and shattering) while new leader gave the speech promising to punish the guilty.

Which makes me think that Lin Kuei did honor their fallen warriors (especially those exceptional, deserving). Such custom and apparently common belief in soul could also support the ancestor worship - both as some ancient, mythical ancestor(s) connecting warriors into one clan (family) and tradition to follow in the footsteps of forefathers (Bi-Han taking place of his father [old timeline] or grandfather [current timeline] or Kuai Liang taking Bi-Han’s place as Sub-Zero).

My general conclusion about Lin Kuei is that its members believe in souls, have respect and use of spiritual matters (meditation?) and maybe ancestor worship. Whatever the religious / spiritual practices they have over the centuries, it is not something they will share, as the Lin Kuei by nature are secretive people who keep personal things mostly for themselves. The people that joined the clan (Cyrax and Smoke) maybe kept their old, eventual religious beliefs but overall, Lin Kuei warriors did not fear, care for nor pray to gods. They may respect god (Raiden, Fujin) as a person but not because of their divine nature. And even that would not stop them from criticizing said god. Which is pretty much how Kuai Liang and Raiden’s relationship looks like. Grandmaster is grateful to Thunder God for saving him but he won’t blindly follow his authority.

(Kuai Liang has serious authority issues, hasn't he?)

As for holidays, I can’t really see Lin Kuei to follow any specific religious (theistic) special day cause they don’t care much for gods in the first place. Unless they worked undercover and needed to act as normal human beings, religious holidays would mean nothing to them. The warriors may however celebrate their mission success, combat mastery or promotion between themselves or in secret, I think. Like, Lin Kuei did forbid friendship because it was considered warrior’s flaw yet we know some members either were blood-related (Kuai Liang, Bi-Han, previous Sub-Zero - father or grandfather, depending on which timeline is correct) or considered each other a family (Kuai Liang and Tomas Vrbada) and most named characters worked in duos so they have both opportunity and knowledge about each other to celebrate important matters. If they managed to remember anything from previous life, that is. Because from ancient to at least Great Kung Lao’s times most(?) adepts were kidnapped from biological families at a really young age (something around 6 years old). And Mythologies: Sub-Zero takes that even further:

Its warriors are chosen at birth to be raised apart from the workings of day to day civilization and are stripped of their former lives. Only the clan knows their existence. Each of them posses certain skills and abilities that set them apart from normal men. These abilities are passed on from generation to generation and honed throughout the experiences of life.

So, celebrating birthdays doesn’t sound like happening much, unless those with family around could allow themselves such luxury. The clan may however celebrate the day of becoming a fully trained and sworn warrior? Or the fallen warriors? Who knows.

Also, something worth thinking about: in Mortal Kombat Conquest TV series, when the Grandmaster presented newly appointed Sub-Zero to the rest of the clan, he “celebrated” the cryomancer's first official performance as the execution of two men who failed their mission. So, yeah, celebration of something special in (old) Lin Kuei does not necessarily mean anything nice.

(The next part of answer most likely will be focused either on food or architecture / origin of Lin Kuei. Let's hope I will get it written sooner than later)

<><> EDIT <><>

RELIGION <> ORIGINS / ARCHITECTURE <> FOOD <> FOR THE LIN KUEI <> ART <> CRYOMANCERS <> LIN KUEI SOCIETY <> MONEY & MATERIAL GOODS

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steve0discusses · 4 years ago

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Yugioh Season Zero: The Yo-Yo Crimes of Jounouchi Pt 1

It’s been a while since I visited the many times Yugi should have gone to jail, AKA season Zero, and I’m excited to visit it again.

If you just got here, this is Season Zero, which is very different vibe and a different direction plotwise than the other seasons and you can read the season zero recaps from the start in chrono order here: https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yuugi%20muto/chrono

So be warned, this is a 90′s anime, and it will do 90′s anime things, and I expect y’all reading this aren’t like 12.

Like I said in an earlier post, I wrote this out fully when I was going through the symptoms from my second dose--which PS, is worth it--but those symptoms knocked me out for 10 days. I was kind of a space cadet, and yo, I made some mistakes. Including writing this post out in full and then not clicking “save” on this post and then not realizing I had done that until several days later.

So long story short, I don’t remember what I originally wrote here, but lets all assume it was weird, and didn’t make sense and wasn’t funny. We’ll just assume this was for the best that it was deleted forever.

So this episode is about 2 things: Yo-yos and Jounouchi. Both get used as a tool for violence, and both need to get just a little bit cursed by Yugi to scale it the hell back. So, understandably, we start off this episode with Jounouchi, who has eagerly identified with this off brand yo-yo he apparently got out of a dumpster for being just a huge ass defect.

(more Yo-Yo crimes under the cut)

I see you dodging copyright infringement, Yugioh. Eireboy.

Also whenever I read “Eireboy” I do it in my mind in the same pacing and vocal tones that Pegasus uses to say “Kaiba boy.” Something about it’s conjunction to Yugioh, I see anything with “boy” at the end of it, and it’s voiced by a weird guy with one eye.

So I wrote these caps under the influence of my second dose, just assuming y’all understand the life I lived, but I realized writing this episode...traveling bands of yo-yo performers that go to your school and shill yo-yos with yo-yo shows in the hopes that it will get you so obsessed with yo-yos that you will not join a gang and do drugs and have sex may be just an American thing.

So when I saw a yo-yo episode I was like “Tight! Clearly, the yo-yo clowns have come to town!” and I assumed everyone in this class would be draped in yo-yos, because I just assumed that at some point at School you will get MAD OBSESSED with yo-yos for about 2 weeks.

But in this episode, everyone was like “Jounouchi, why are you playing with a random yo-yo?” and it didn’t occur to me until typing this out just now: only Jounouchi is doing this. He did this unprompted, without the encouragement of a bunch of middle aged performers doing tricks to techno music.

So instead, I have to think of Jounouchi as Ralphie in this scenario, and he just got a official Red Ryder, carbine action, 200-shot, range model air rifle, with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time for Christmas, but he’s gonna shoot his eye out.

Because yo-yos in this episode are basically guns.

...Kind of like a duel deck was also just a gun...

...or the wands in Harry Potter...

...which honestly...I’ve probably said this before but where I’m from, we just use straight up guns in these elaborate analogies because we freakin have to make the point crystal clear. The moment Ralphie finally got his hands on a bb-gun, he very nearly shot his eye out and broke his glasses. And that scene will haunt me until my dying day...

...but fine, we can use yo-yos, I guess it works, although to me, yo-yo’s are just teachers hoping you’ll become such a dork that no gang will accept you (and then in this universe, it does the opposite? So freakin weird).

The beginning of this episode is Jounouchi trying do his best to impress with his skills, but in actuality, getting very close to clubbing Anzu with a yo-yo. And, while Anzu is the strongest person in Yugioh in the later seasons, I feel like Season Zero Anzu is another level. It’s a serious tempt of fate that Jounouchi is doing, so Honda wisely cuts him off from doing any more of that so she won’t end up strangling yet another person in broad daylight in the middle of school.

Remember your yo-yo safety, children.

Straight up, Honda’s version of yo-yo safety is to just Never Use a Yo-Yo and that’s the most gun safety thing ever that they’ve slipped into this Yugioh Episode. I almost expected Yuugi to pull a “well, actually, I use a hunting yo-yo to get enough venison to feed my family.” But youknow, he lives in a city, so while Yugioh is pretty weird and Yuugi has to worry about a lot of things--he doesn’t have to worry about that.

This is actually foreshadowing, which I only realized in hind sight, mostly because I just can’t associate a Yo-yo with crime. Joey knowing how to use a yo-yo was foreshadowing that he was absolutely part of this gang in a past life.

Yeah that one went completely over my head the first time and the second time and it really wasn’t until just now that I finally caught it. Hoo boy, sometimes I wonder why y’all let me analyze this show.

Jounouchi decides to confront the yo-yo bandits and everyone else is like “Silly Jounouchi, he’s not gonna do that. That would be stupid.” And...in S0, they don’t know him well enough yet to know that he really is that much of a well meaning dumbass.

I think a S1-5 Yugi would have been sprinting out the door to keep Joey from killing himself (again), but Season Zero Yuugi had hope that Jounouchi would just naturally tucker out and fall asleep or something.

And he was so wrong.

Anzu’s “New Tricks” line was from the dub itself and man that’s a good line. I love Anzu’s sass in Zero.

So, Honda decides to help them find Jounouchi so all of them together could give Jounouchi an intervention for skipping school. This is the same Honda that once skipped school to babysit a tomagachi and said it was because of “Maternity leave,” but don’t worry about the hypocrisy, because from this episode we learned that Jounouchi needs a very short leash.

So this episode is a great Jounouchi episode to explain stuff that still hasn’t been explained in 5 seasons of Yugioh. In S1-5, we don’t get much about his home life other than his Mom left and his Sister lives far away and is like sickly as hell. We know nothing else. But this is the episode where we finally get to find out why Yuugi and his Grandfather decided to basically adopt him from S1 onward.

Yugioh is tackling some pretty heavy territory, but I respect the show for not trying to magically change Jounouchi’s parents like they did to Dartz. Instead, the crew decide to reach out and try to find their friend who clearly didn’t go home last night (and won’t be going back for a while), by checking every alleyway in Domino.

Fun fact Yuugi drops this episode, Domino is one of the biggest cities on Earth. This makes the Battle City Tournament even more crazy when you realize Kaiba shut down several blocks but, it also makes a tiny bit more sense how we have so many Millennium items in one place. (Yet...it still doesn’t explain Bakura and Joey’s accent.) And, I guess if your city is just extra large, you get an extra large warehouse district, too.

Speaking of, they eventually find Jounouchi at his new (but also old) crime antics mugging some random stranger next to this Game store that I just realized was cropped so it looks like it says “GANG.”

Say hello to our crime clown. He’s sort of like a discount joker, and that beanie is...man it is green.

I forget this green exists sometimes, but Season Zero has it as one of their prime colors. Good ol’ Retro Kaiba green.

I’m a little tempted to swatch Season Zero a bit and figure out their full color scheme--it’s really saturated, which is interesting when you compare it to the later seasons which are a lot more muted since...the 00′s were like that, they greyed a lot of colors out. But I’ll do it later if I do, maybe another post for another day.

Jounouchi and Honda, before they moved to the school with Yuugi in it, used to go to the same school and up until now I just assumed they were close friends. But apparently they were a lot more distant than that. I’m sure they met up several times as Jounouchi destroyed stuff and Honda came along in his volunteer janitor outfit to put the stuff the hell back, and maybe that’s how they got to know eachother better?

But basically, Jounouchi was the freakin worst, and Jounouchi’s best friend was Hirotani--this 45 year old 15 year old with the blue pony and turquoise fade--and Honda has SO MUCH hot goss to say about it.

I really get the gist that Honda may not have liked anyone else at his old school, like at all. Like maybe Honda likes cleaning up trash so much because his school was just trash top to bottom.

As is tradition, Yuugi got his tar beat in by Hirotani. Another concussion to add to his list of issues to tell his future therapist that lives in that puzzle he wears around his neck.

I still expect him to do a double cross, but it seems they wanted to keep it a relatable and more realistic fall-out, where Jounouchi has just bounced on them without even a goodbye. He and his Dad had a bad fight, and Jounouchi was like “well so long to all of this and everyone that has anything to do with it.”

In later seasons, Joey is the one trying to save other people. He’s saving his Sister, he’s saving Mai, he’s saving Yugi, but in this season Jounouchi’s friends had to save Jounouchi from himself a few times now.

I like this depth to his character, I’ll be honest. I can understand why S1-5 don’t touch on it, and I don’t think it’s because they didn’t want to have an abusive Dad storyline, because they did that several times over with Seto Kaiba (man the Dad situation in Yugioh is DIRE.) Instead they probably just felt like Season Zero already did it, so why do it again?

It’s just a shame that it wasn’t talked about in the other seasons. Joey makes a lot more sense to me now because we get to see why Jounouchi is so hard set on saving people. S4 Mai Valentine, who ditched everyone and joined a gang? That’s basically a Joey move, and that was why Joey Wheeler was all over that.

Really would have added a lot to that particular arc if the show...actually talked about Joey’s history at all rather than assume I would have watched something that was never released in the States. Instead...it just looked a lot like he had only romantic motivations, which may not have been what they were going for.

Speaking of romantic, check out this sunset. Like the sun is exploding for some reason--just a wild sunset you only see for a still frame before a commercial break.

As Joey, youknow, takes on an entire rival gang single-handedly.

Hey guys, I lived near a pretty big city most of my life and I have been on a roof...once. Just the one time when I was doing an internship in SF with a painter and we needed to take a reference photo of his painting for a gallery (and it was hella sketch, and we weren’t exactly allowed up there). Who are all these people giving teens Roof Access? It’s so hard to get! Even if you live in an apartment of a tall building, I can count on zero of my fingers the amount of times I was allowed on that roof. But TV shows and movies--they freakin love roof gardens and roof hangouts and roof fights.

Am I missing out?? How did y’all get on the ROOF? I know I’m on S5 of Yugioh now and I have seen a lot of roof stuff, but like...is this normal for everyone else? I know there’s schools that have roof sport--that’s common in the city everywhere--but that’s like...specialized roofs with 30 ft chainlink fencing and really good supports to your body doesn’t fall straight through it when you jump too much. The hell is using their normal ass roof?

This gang should have their legs swinging halfway into the floor below them, is all I’m saying, if my roof couldn’t handle our solar heating, then a normal ass roof cannot support a gang fight.

But it does look really, really cool.

Anyway, Anzu does some offscreen snooping and finds out where the crime hangs out, and suggests that we step right into crime zone and just yank Jounouchi out of there. Which is something you would only do and say if you were Anzu and cannot fear death.

If it were Jay’s it would be with an ‘s. That’s how you do a plural Jay. But it’s the 90′s, so we put a “z” on the end of everything that should have been an “s” and that’s how you get the...

I mean, thank you, dubbers, for not saying “Jizz” but for reals...that be Jizz.

Please don’t flag me, Tumblr. (which, PS, I think they turned off the flagbot, Tumblr hasn’t flagged me in forever and I’m so thankful. Mods are asleep, we can talk about anime again)

So even though Honda decided that he was fed up with Jounouchi and didn’t want to save his ass, he decided to give it another go but complete with some new sash. He also did this without telling any of the others, who just kinda spectated him for a little while.

Honestly, if they weren’t laughing at him, I wouldn’t have known that this sash was any weirder than any of his other sashes. I don’t know really know what a school uniform should look like. It’s a shame, I feel like this series has a lot of jokes and puns probably soaring right over my head.

A little bit embarrased he was caught being vulnerable, Honda decides to give us a little more context to why he ever decided to give Jounouchi the time of day in the first place.

They had PE class once, and Honda apparently loves the hell out of PE. Jounouchi ran really fast in a straight line that one time, and that is why he’s trustworthy friend material. He just needs to stop joining gangs, and he’ll be solid.

I have no idea if the fandub put that in there or if that was native to the show, but Miho legit stans Honda/Jounouchi and acts as if she’s off to write some fanfiction about it. Honestly if she did, it would make her so much more interesting of a character.

And so, until next time, we shall have to wait and see exactly what Yami Yuugi is going to do with a freakin Yo-yo and I’m sure it’s all sorts of real effed up. Excited to get there, honestly. A shame it had to happen on the part that isn’t dubbed yet, but I’ve done these subbed before, it’ll be fine!

#Season Zero #Yuugi Muto #Jounouchi #Honda #Anzu #yo-yo #Jounouchi joins a gang #Gotta go save Jounouchi's ass I guess #Miho #she was here too I guess #Just a great Jounouchi episode for the Jounouchi stans out there

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sunflowerheartsandstarryskies · 4 years ago

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My Golden Curse - Maxwell Lord x Fem!Reader

Author’s Note: Hello again, I may have stumbled upon the Pedro Pascal fandom and I can’t get out, and I saw someone posted that they wanted an imagine with Maxwell Lord and the reader in which one of them gets kidnapped and the other just goes ballistic, and I basically kept getting that idea stuck in my head, this was only supposed to be a drabble but oh well. This depiction of Maxwell Lord is closer to the DC Comics version of him and not the movie but it has Pascal’s Lord’s likeness, so it’s like a combination of the two.

Also, I have survived my finals and had taken a break from writing for a while but I’m back and I have some ideas for my Lucifer multi-chapter fic as well. I also have an idea for a John Wick fic but I have no idea if anyone wants to read that.

Warnings: Typical comic-book violence, cursing (like two curse words), blood mentioned, kidnapping, bruises and injuries (like ribs breaking, a concussion, and a few lacerations

______________________________________________________________

Maxwell Lord IV prided himself on presentation. Everything had to be pristine and everything, even the garbage can by his desk had to be impeccable, because his business and himself in general, are put out on display for the public. He is a figurehead and a showman, so when you came along to be his assistant and secretary he was at first apprehensive because you didn’t dress as provocatively as he may have like and you didn’t look as model-esque as his other secretaries in the past. You didn’t apply to Chimtech to be fucked by your boss, you were good at your job and you aspire to show off your skills.

However, time went on when you first started to work for Maxwell Lord and you did a phenomenal job, whenever he was in a meeting you would always make sure to listen and take notes of what he needed while he was in the meeting. Whenever he requested for you to fax an item you would’ve made sure to have done it five minutes prior. Maxwell had no idea how you could be so efficient at your job, but he damn well appreciates it even if he rarely ever mentions it to you.

It’s an odd relationship that you guys have worked yourself in, a friendly relationship it seems, but both of you are teetering on the edge of wanting more. There have been teasing nicknames, mostly from you, you had a plethora of nicknames that you would give him, ranging from “Sandy” to “Ken”, but “Golden boy” was your favorite.

You would never admit this to him or even to yourself but you actually liked his blonde locks. In certain lightings, when you look at him you swear he was Midas, covered in his own golden curse. It was breathtaking to watch him at some points, but you always try to cover up your flustered state.

You knew Maxwell well, some may say too well for a secretary, but you rarely saw the side of him that most of his competitors and fellow businessmen saw, and that was the merciless and ruthless side to his tactics on getting what he wanted. Everyone in the public eye saw him as just the “King of Infomercials” but there was a reason why and how he got that title in the first place. Who knew the infomercial world could be so cruel and hectic?

You were able to catch glimpses of Maxwell’s amazing abilities of persuasion and showmanship, he was able to get people to admit to what they want and get them to go out and seize, whether that was good or bad. There was a particular talent that you find out he has and it was his ability to drag out people’s hidden desires, there were times when the people he used this talent were a shock as the people around them when they admitted to what they really wanted.

He was a golden idol of his own creation; he had to be especially to the people around him. However, that golden facade can only keep him held up for so long when the people he handed gold to realize that it’s fool’s gold.

______________________________________________________________

It was earlier in the day, you just woke up and got dressed in your office attire with a cup of coffee in hand as you try to will yourself to get going. You looked up at your apartment’s clock and it was 7:00 am, you needed to get going if you were to make it to Chimtech in time.

As you stepped out of your apartment building you felt a gloved hand over your mouth and panic flooding your whole body, but before your body could even fully process a flight or fight response you felt a sharp pain in your neck and you passed out.

When you come to, your vision is blurred and you can’t understand where you are and your brain just has confusion filling your senses. Why can’t you process what is around you? What happened to you? After a couple of more seconds went by you felt a rope tightly woven around your wrists, and you comprehended that you were sitting on a floor. What happened to you?

“Ah, there’s the little doll’s eyes! I was wondering if you were beginning to ever wake up,” a voice filled your ears. You blinked furiously trying to get your eyes to focus and you found yourself face to face with a man, who was grinning at you like a shark finding the prey they smelled a mile away.

“I’m sure you understand why you’re here? I don’t need to monologue it to you, do I?” the man asks.

“Mr. Vince, right? You were in a meeting with my boss Maxwell Lord, a month ago, right?” you questioned him as the drug and weariness started to seep out of you, and you gained more awareness of your surroundings. The man, Mr. Vince was a part-owner of a tech company that Chimtech was interested in making an investment in, however from what you were aware of was that the true goal of the meetings with Vince and his company was to absorb it into Chimtech, forcing Vince and the other owners to give up their powers over to Maxwell Lord and the other board members of Chimtech.

“I see the drugs didn’t impair your memory, I assume you are aware that I am no longer a CEO? That I was tricked by your goddamned boss?! That he put me in a corner to give up my company over to him!” he screamed. He was half an inch from your face and you were terrified of this man, he was unhinged.

“What does this have to do with me, Mr.Vince?” you asked, forcing yourself to not push him over the edge.

“Ooooh this has everything to do with your boss, I remembered that you are his secretary, so you must know some secret of his, something I can leverage against him to make him give me my company back,” he said.

“Even if I have any sort of information to give you, the damage is already done, your company is done in, it’s already been processed into Chimtech, there is none of your company left.”

That was the wrong thing to say as you felt a kick to your stomach. You groaned and rolled onto your side, and before you could recover from that there was another swift kick that you felt go directly to your ribs.

______________________________________________________________

Minutes blended into hours of constant yelling from Vince to him pulling you off the ground to throwing you back down like you were a piece of litter to being his personal punching bag. It was all you could do to just protect yourself and persevere through the pain because you were just a secretary, you were never trained in self-defense, hell you never even did track in high school.

Through the pain, you felt complete distortion and a high pitch whining going through your head, and you finally realized it was a telephone- a landline. Where the hell did this guy get a landline in this beat-up place?

Then, you hear Vince say, “Oh you want to hear how (Y/N) is?” you hear footsteps coming towards you then cold plastic was pressed to your cheek then Vince continued loudly, “Well here she is, talk.”

“(Y/N)?” You heard Maxwell, your golden boy, say your name and all you can do was say his name back in a raspy voice.

“What did he do to you?” Maxwell asked.

Before you could say any more the phone was taken away from you and Vince’s voice filled your ears.

“Tick tock Maxwell, I want my money and you can get your fuck toy back.”

Then silence, a sickening silence filled the room which made you feel every ache and pain that has been put on your body has made itself known by increasing levels of agony. You didn’t even feel it in you to even try to correct Vince’s words about you. You just wanted to sleep and not wake up for a whole day, maybe if you laid perfectly still and just not move a muscle the pain would go away.

As you lay there you tearily open your eyes back up and you can hear the tinny sounds of the echoing footsteps of your captor pacing back and forth in the room you were held in. It was nauseating, and you were confused as you thought, When did you close your eyes? How long were you out?

Then you fell back into your head, and you felt like you were spiraling in your own mind mixed with dizziness and nausea. You just wanted this to end.

A male voice was shouting so close to you and you can feel the panic coming out of his voice, and you can tell it wasn’t Vince because why would he do that?

You felt yourself being lifted from the ground and all you could do was cough sporadically from the new movements on your injuries. It hurt, it hurt so bad.

“I know (Y/N), but you just need to keep going a little bit longer,” the same voice told you.

You couldn’t quite pinpoint where you heard that voice before but you thought it was your boss, Maxwell Lord, but it couldn’t be. That would be the last thought that went through your mind before you lost it to the void.

All you can see at first was just bright and it hurt so bad. When you turned your head you saw a flash of gold and your first thought was, ‘Maxwell’. When your eyes adjusted to the room around you it really was your boss, Maxwell Lord in the hospital with you. He was slumped down in a chair beside your bed and you saw there were roses in a vase on the table next to you.

“Gold-golden boy, hey,” you rasped out trying to wake him. You coughed and then groaned as you felt the lacerations and bandages around your torso.

You saw him stir in the chair and his eyes opened and landed on yours. “Hey boss,” you whispered cringing at your voice. Your hands clenched at the sheets around you as you saw him blink furiously and stood up fast. You flinched at the fast movement but he didn’t seem to notice, as he moved closer to you.

“I am sorry about what happened to you, I didn’t think that our clients would go so far as to do this to you. I can’t believe that bastard did all of this to you-”

“It’s okay, I mean it hurts like a bitch but you ended up finding me didn’t you? What happened to him anyway?” you cut him off.

“Ah well, I may have gotten violent with him before the law enforcement could get him,” he said twisting his hands around and that’s when you saw the scrapes on his knuckles.

“I don’t know if you were a white knight to me but you certainly are a golden devil for doing that,” you replied.

He huffed out a laugh at your reply and he opened his mouth to say something but got interrupted when a nurse arrived.

______________________________________________________________

After the nurse left, you found out you still have a concussion lingering still, three bruised ribs and lacerations across your whole torso and arms.

When he listened to the whole list of injuries that you had gotten in the three days that you were with Mr. Vince, he felt rage boil over him but he tried to keep calm as he remembered the battered state he left Vince in. At least he made him feel some of the pain that he made you go through, Maxwell was a very prideful man in how he acts so for him to act like that was completely out of character for him.

He must be looking worried because he noticed your furrowed brows and you glancing at him every so often.

“Did you want to say something?” he asked

“Well, I was gonna ask you a similar question because I think you were interrupted by the nurse. Also are you okay?”

Your question startled him and the mention of the interruption made him clear his throat and fidget with his suit to try to hide the blush that was threatening to come up to his face. Your inquisitive expression on your face was watching him.

“I’ve been thinking that if you would like to leave the company, I won’t force you to stay, especially with what happened this week,” he said.

Listening to him say this made you panic and as you tried to sit up, Maxwell came up to you quickly as he says, “What do you think you’re doing? You got to take it easy.”

As you are situated in your bed you went to reach for Maxwell’s hand as you say, “Why would I want to quit? I love my job and I love working with you even if at times I don’t seem like it. None of what happened to me was your fault, how could you have known that Vince would react to the merger the way that he did.”

Maxwell was startled by this, he never had anyone in his family nor his company is so willing to stay with him especially when they are given an out.

He bowed his head toward you and said, “If you keep saying things like that I might want to keep you by my side for a long time.”

You laughed as you replied, “If you let me I will, you are a weird but kind man-” you stopped yourself as a thought came to your head.

“How long have you been here? What about Chimtech?”

“Ah well if my secretary didn’t get kidnapped and injured I wouldn’t be here right now, but you made me worried and how can I do my best work without my best assistant around me?”

“Now you’re just flattering me”

“But it’s true”

“Hmmm if you say so, Sandy”

______________________________________________________________

Four days have gone by and you were finally released from the hospital to go back to your apartment. You tried to go back to work at Chimtech, but Maxwell found you were released and gave you the rest of the week off to recover. You would become the envy of the company at this rate with how well the boss has been treating you.

Now that you have been just lounging in your apartment watching TV movies, and eating takeout for meals it has given you time to properly understand what happened to you for the past two weeks.

The way your boss, Maxwell, has been treating you made you see a whole new side of him. At first, you thought of working for him as both a blessing and a curse. At first, it was hell on earth, you ran yourself ragged making sure everything was up to par with Maxwell’s standards but after the next three years working with the man you considered him a friend of sorts. Even though you always tried to make sure to never consider employers and colleagues be separate from your personal life but it’s hard to do that when all you have is your work life.

Ever since the kidnapping incident, Maxwell had visited you every day in the hospital he even gave you flowers on the last day of your hospital visit, it was a beautiful vase of sunflowers.

You didn’t realize how long you were sitting on your couch thinking about your boss when you heard a knock on your door. You looked at the clock near your tv and realized it was nearly midnight.

‘Who could come by to my apartment at this hour?’ you thought.

You got up carefully minding the bruises still littering your body, and you opened the door surprised to see Maxwell.

His hair was a bit disheveled and he didn’t have a suit jacket on showing off the suspenders he likes to wear. He looked quite cute seeing him like this.

“Come in, Mr. Lord. What brings you to my place this late at night?” you inquired.

He ran his hand through his hair as he entered your apartment and he turns to look at you as you closed the door.

He sighed as he said, “I don’t know how quite to put this without sounding terrible, but after what happened to you, I can’t stop thinking about you. You are the best woman-the best person I’ve known and for you to still want to work with me after everything that has happened.”

He looked like he was getting frustrated with himself, you were shocked because how could you have gotten the king of infomercials to be so frustrated with his own words?

You took a tentative step forward to him as you placed a hand on his arm.

“Sandy, what’s going on?”

He was silent for a moment before he looked into your eyes with a strong determination as he says, “You know more about me than my own mother does, and after all this time together I’ve grown to respect you more and more. When I saw you in that hospital I wanted to kill the bastard and send him to hell when I found you like that in the warehouse.”

“I-I don’t know what to say, Mr. Lord-”

“Call me Maxwell, none of your silly names, not boss, not my last name, just Maxwell”

You could tell he was earnest with this and sincere it took your breath away to see him like this. He was beautiful and it made your heart flutter when you realize what he might be trying to confess to you.

“Maxwell” you breathed out testing his name out. You said his name once before and that was when you had gotten kidnapped but now this is completely different, almost like a prayer. A prayer to this golden devil of yours.

He smiled when he heard you say his name and he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“I wish I could kiss all the scars away from your body so you never have to live with them again. I wish that I could be yours, fully and I want to be clear that I would never use you like I may have done to my secretaries in the past. I want to be yours, in any way you may want me.”

“Oh Maxwell, I think I might have to grant your wish this time,” you say blinking away tears that were threatening to spill as you were listening to his confession.

“(Y/N)” he whispered reverently.

He cradled your face with both hands as he studied your face to see any resistance than he gently placed his lips on yours.

You made a small gasp as you finally felt his lips on yours, you clutched onto his shirt as you pulled him closer to you. He tilted his head and pushed your chin up to meet in for a deeper kiss. It felt amazing and you felt loved.

When you parted you were chasing each other’s lips to crash back into each other as you kissed each other until you both need a break. Both of your lips were swollen and you looked at him with such love that when Maxwell saw, he almost wanted to take you then and there but he was mindful of how fragile this love could be.

Author’s Note: I might do a second part if people want it but whew this took a lot out of me, I hope you guys like it!

#maxwell lord x reader #pedro pascal x reader #Pedro Pascal #maxwell lord #imagines #x reader #wonder woman 1984 #max lord x reader

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bobathirstaccount · 4 years ago

Text

I’m still alive... I’ve been writing but I just feel like everything sucks. Here’s something I hope doesn’t suck. 🧋🤎

Diamond in the Rough

Boba x fem!reader, just some plotty smut

TW: unprotected sex, recreational drug use (weed smoking)

***   It had been awhile since you’d had a home, but you were pretty sure you could call Slave 1 exactly that. The days had stretched to weeks to months, and still you stayed out in the desert. Your skin tanned and your hair bleached from the suns. You learned how to handle a blaster better, and a added using a cycler rifle to your knowledge base. You weren’t that great, but you were getting better. Boba was teaching you. You sat back to think about him teaching someone. It felt unlikely, but yet here you were, learning from him. You bent down and continued to clean the rifle. It had to be in good working order for your practice session later, and Boba had left the responsibility to you. You felt proud to be trusted with his things. You finished oiling the rifle and reassembled it, satisfied.

“Let’s go, if you’re ready.” You nodded your assent and the two of you headed outside to the other side of Slave 1. Here you were in the shade. Boba had already set up several targets for you. They were very far out for your skill level. You swallowed, not wanting to miss badly. You set up, laying down in the sand and propping the rifle up solidly. Boba crouched beside you, offering tips. You stilled and inhaled, sighting down the barrel. You followed his instructions and gently squeezed the tigger. You missed completely. You grunted, dissatisfied, but your attention quickly turned towards Boba. He had plopped down into the sand beside you and snuggled up.

“Like this,” he reached an arm around you to hold the rifle steady. Then he talked you through everything again, still holding the gun and by association, you. You did not hear what he was saying. You were too focused on the pressure of his body against yours. “Ready?” He asked. You nodded, dazed. You tried again, squeezing lightly on the trigger. The target made a satisfying ping! as you hit it square in the middle. Boba praised you, making you flush. Then he let go and sat up.   “Go again.” He dusted some sand off himself. You bit your lip, everything he’d ever told you about guns going through your mind as you tried to line up the sight. You carefully followed the instructions your remembered and touched the trigger again. The shot pinged off the edge of the target.

“Better,” Boba commented. You set up to take aim again. Suddenly Boba stood, “Go inside.”  ”Huh?” You looked up, about to take another shot.

“Visitors. Go inside until we know what they want. It’s not safe.”  You squinted, watching them appear out of the desert. Sand People. You shuddered and stood, passing the rifle to Boba. He looped it over his shoulder and strode out to meet the Tuskens. You rounded the ship and raced inside to watch from a window.

Boba stood, somehow looking like an imposing force despite being fairly outnumbered. You saw him sign a greeting, which was returned. You exhaled. That was a good sign.

Boba was in conversation with your guests for some time. You grew bored and picked at a spare thread on your boot. Something moved outside. You jolted upright. The Tuskens appeared to be leaving. Boba stood still, watching them go. You made your way to the cargo bay door and waited for Boba. He came around the corner looking unconcerned.  ”Well?”  ”They were just looking to trade information and goods.”

“And?”  “And?” He quirked an eyebrow at you.

You pursed your lips, “You were out there for a long time.”

He smiled mischievously, “And nothing.” He brushed past you, cycler rifle in hand.

***  That night you found Boba on Slave 1’s ramp. He was seated and hunched over, attending to something. You strolled up, “Whatcha doing?”

“Rolling us something.”

You grinned, “I knew you got something from the Tuskens.” He shrugged and finished rolling the joint. You smiled and snatched it from his hands, surprised that he let you. He passed you a lighter and you sparked the joint up.

Inhaling, you passed it back to Boba. He smiled softly. The mood was subdued. You felt supremely relaxed. You laid back, feeling the cool metal of the ship supporting you. Boba turned slightly towards you to pass you the joint. Then he laid down next to you. You took a hit and looked up at the stars. Boba reached across you to grab the joint, grazing your chest as he did it. A fire ignited in your pussy. You controlled your breathing and tried to think of something else. But the world was so still it was hard to be distracted by anything. You noticed Boba was lying against you. His side was flush to yours. He passed the joint back. You accepted it, licking your lips. “It’s so chill out here. I feel so relaxed.” You dropped the volume of your voice, adding, “With you.”

“Hmm, the desert is like that. Especially at night.”

You sighed and took a hit. “Did the Tuskens bring any news?”

“Nothing of interest to you. Some deaths. Some power changes.”

You shrugged, leaning into Boba a bit. He gestured for the joint and you handed it back. He turned to you, “What news are you looking to hear?”  ”Oh, nothing in particular. Just curious.”

He hmmed again, “I can get you news from off world if you like.”

“No. I left that life behind,” you shook your head. “That’s very dramatic,” he said.

“Don’t you believe in living more than one life?”  He paused, thoughtful perhaps. Finally he said, “Yes.”

You shrugged, “I don’t miss that life.”  ”You still need to start your new one.”  You turned on your side, pressing your tits into his upper arm. You rested your head in your palm and looked down at him. “Funny, I thought I had.”

He inhaled, then looked you in the eye. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that...” You waited, vaguely alarmed.

“You’ve been here quite a few months... almost a year.” You nodded. You could feel his body tense up. “I was wondering... if you planned to stay.” It was almost a question. You looked down, his gaze intense. You exhaled slowly, then said, “I mean, that’s really up to you... it’s your ship.”

“I’m asking you.”

“Oh, uh,” you were caught off guard. You decided to be succinct, “Yes.” You chewed on your lip nervously. His body relaxed a bit, “Is there anything you want that isn’t on the ship?”

You shrugged, relieved. “Not really. Maybe a cushier hammock.” The corners of his mouth turned up slightly in what you knew to interpret as an amused smile. A silence fell over you. You laid your head down on Boba’s shoulder and snaked your arms around his. He sighed. Sometimes the two of you would sit or lay like this, dangerously close to being intimate. Nothing was ever spoken, so you couldn’t be sure what he was thinking. You weren’t sure what you were thinking. You knew that you would say yes if he propositioned you. But was it reciprocal? You had just crossed a major milestone and you were scared to push it. It was your turn to sigh.

“What are you thinking, cyar’ika?”

“Oh, nuthin. Just enjoying our time out here,” you chose your words carefully. You wondered at the alien name, but were too shy to ask. Instead, you said, “What’re you thinking?” He inhaled, holding it. Then he slowly exhaled. “Same.”

“Aren’t we a pair?” You breathed, nervous.

He laughed, a soft, gravelly noise. “Suppose so.” He turned his head towards you and rested his chin on the top of your head. You snuggled into him, your eyes getting heavy.

 You awoke to being placed in your hammock. ‘’Sorry, kinda hard to set someone down in a hammock,” Boba commented. You smiled to yourself sleepily.

***

You had woken late and lingered in your hammock. You didn’t want the feeling from last night to go away. The barrier between the two of you had never felt so thin. You sighed, the feeling dissipating into the day. You swung your legs out of the hammock and headed towards the fresher.

You walked the ship, eating a piece of fruit. You found Boba in the cargo hold. He was reorganizing parts. Items were strewn all over the floor in careful piles. You tip toed around them. “Good morning,” he spoke without turning around.

“Mornin,” you chimed.

“You seem quite cheerful.”  “Guess so,” you shrugged. You looked around again, “Can I help?”

“Mmm, I suppose so. That pile needs to be sorted.” He pointed to a greasy pile of nuts and bolts. You finished your apple and rolled up your sleeves. The two of you worked in comfortable silence. Once the bits and pieces were sorted, you helped Boba put them all away. It was tedious work. By the time the task was done, you were tired. “Time for a nap?” Boba stated, looking at you. You smiled, sleepy. “Yeah.”

“Me too.” He stood awkwardly. You gave him a confused look, but turned to leave.

“Perhaps.”  The word hung in the air. You turned around.  ”Perhaps we could nap together.” You snorted, “Why take a hammock when you have a bed?”

“Exactly.”

You blinked slowly. “You mean in your bed?” You felt vaguely embarrassed to be asking the obvious question. But you weren’t sure you interpreted him correctly. He nodded solemnly. You smiled nervously, “Okay.”

The two of you made your way to his quarters. He gestured for you to get in first, so you kicked your boots off and slid in. He sat on the edge and took his time taking his footwear off. You laid there on your back nervously. Then you decided to take off your sweater. You were getting hot with anxiety. You laid back down again, then rolled over onto your side. You rolled onto your back. Boba finally finished and was crawling into bed. He laid down on his side facing you. You rolled over again to face him, feeling silly. You rested your head on your hands and met his gaze. “Now what?” You whispered.

A vague smile flitted across his lips. “What do you want?”  The question was vague but specific at the same time. You blinked, trying to come up with a response. You bounced the question back at him, “You’re the one who wanted me in your bed.”

He hmmd, then said, “I don’t really want to sleep.”

You grinned, then became serious. “I don’t either.”

You stared at each other. He reached out and put your hair behind your ear with a finger. His hand lingered, then came to rest on your cheek, cupping it. He ran his thumb over your bottom lip. You licked your lips and stared at him, wide eyed. You scooted closer to him. And closer. His hand travelled down your upper arm to your waist. You kissed him lightly, barely touching his lips with yours. His grip on your waist increased and he pulled you forward into him. He kissed back gently but with an air of urgency.

You found yourself putting your hands on his chest, gripping his shirt. The kiss deepened. You snuggled in closer to him and slipped your leg over his hip, squeezing and rocking slightly. He exhaled heavily and his hand went to your ass, pulling you against him. He ground his already hard cock into your center, making you moan. He broke the kiss. You were out of breath and already thinking of him inside of you. He pulled back slightly, “This is what you want?” You leaned into him and kissed him in response. He groaned and rolled you over. His weight settled between your legs. You spread them wider and wrapped them around him. He bit your lip lightly and jerked his hips up into you. “Fuck me,” you said, shocking yourself at your boldness.

You felt his cock jump. He sat up on his haunches and undid your pants. You helped him as he pulled them off. He undid his pants and pulled himself out. You gasped at his size. He grinned at you and laid back down over you to kiss you. As he did, he nuzzled his cock into your slick folds. You both moaned at the sensation. He thrust up into you, grunting. You gave a small exclamation as he stretched your pussy. He grabbed your hip with a hand and stroked you shallowly, letting you get used to him. Your body buzzed and your chest heaved. The feeling of him inside of you after all the pining and anticipation was overwhelming. You gave soft cries as he slowly deepened his strokes. Your pussy was on fire, wet and ready for him. He bottomed out in you with one stroke, and paused, moaning your name. You breathlessly kissed him. He kissed you back desperately, his cock twitching in your cunt.

You rocked your hips and he started to fuck you into the mattress. Your pussy took the fucking and you pleaded with him for more as he pounded into you. He started to pant and moan, close to his climax. You moaned at the thought of him cumming in you. Your pussy’s fire spread to your entire body as you came, pulsing and pushing Boba to the edge. He grunted, “I have to pull out.”  ”No, no,” you used your legs to keep him inside of you. He grunted, straining. “Are you sure?”  ”Yes, yes I’m sure,” you cooed into his ear. He groaned and fucked you hard and deep. You spread your legs, taking him and moaning his name. His thrusts stuttered and he stilled in you, groaning your name again. You kissed the side of his head as he rolled off you. He pulled you close to him, wrapping you in a strong arm. You put your hand on his chest, feeling his heart beating quickly and his uneven breathing.

“I haven’t had sex since the Sarlacc,” Boba said, matter of fact. You smiled, “Hope I was worth the wait.”

“More than worth the wait,” he kissed your forehead. There was a silence, then he asked, “What does this mean... between us?”

Your breath caught. “I... like you, Boba.”  ”In what way?”  ”In... the romantic way?” Your voice went up at the end, making your statement a question. He kissed your head again. “Really? I don’t have a lot going for me right now.” You pursed your lips, smiling. “You have more than enough.”

“I have something for you,” Boba blurted out. You looked up at him. “I... bartered for it with the Tuskens. Along with the weed.” He sat up and grabbed a satchel on a shelf above the bed. Laying down, he opened it and pulled out a loosely wrapped package. He handed it to you. You took it nervously and began to open it, stopping to look at him. He was watching you.

You pulled the packaging back to reveal a woven necklace with a large clear gemstone in the center. It was cut and highly polished, and appeared flawless. You smiled shyly and looked up at him. “It’s gorgeous.”  ”Not as much as you are, cyar’ika” he breathed, tracing your jawline. “What’s that mean?”  ”Sweet heart.” You smiled again, blushing. You curled up into his embrace with a full heart. You were definitely home.

#boba fett smut #boba x reader #boba fett fanfiction #boba fett x you #boba x you #boba fett x f!reader

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