#party finder SUCKS

[bladeobrona]

so a friend got mad at me because I told them that if they had been willing to go into party finder, they’d have likely cleared p8s by now. 

they’ve been lamenting that they have made zero progress in the past few weeks on p8s. the thing is, they refuse to do party finder and will only go in with a full fc group.

they lashed out at me over pointing out that a fc full group has not really been possible the past few weeks because of schedules. the main tank has recently gotten a job and one of our healers has been busy with his job, getting ready for fatherhood, and traveling over the holidays. hell, a lot of us have been busy BECAUSE of the holidays.

I feel like my friend unfairly lashed out at me over it when I’ve been willing at every point to work with them to clear p8s and have been asking almost every fucking day if we’d be able to work on p8s for them. to get them into part 2 of p8s. 

[verraising]

the little savage group we had going is already falling apart at the seams and i'm really bummed about that..................

[anarkhebringer]

Somebody please swoop into Dynamis and rescue me from the hell of waiting for a queue, I set up a party finder out of desperation even

[avatar-saiki]

Eye of the Tiger

Mammon/AFAB reader (you/your pronouns) 5.7k words

CW: NSFW, mating kink, overstimulation, squirting

Summary: Mammon borrows a headband from Levi as part of a costume to party with you up in the human realm, but things go awry when the headband is revealed to curse the user to be a kemonomimi for 12 hours.

Why did his luck always turn to shit when he was close to getting something great? It was supposed to be a fun night, just him and his human in the human world… partying it up all night long only to have them all to himself once the partying was done.

But instead…

“Check again,” he muttered under his breath, D.D.D. held close to his cheek while he paced. “There’s gotta be a way to fix me.”

“Dude.” Levi’s voice crackled through the speaker; inter-dimensional reception was always a bit spotty. “You asked me to look up how to dispel a curse. If you want me to figure out how to fix you that’s a whole other—"

“Shaddup you know what I meant!”

“I don’t think I like that attitude much. Maybe you should figure it out yourself.”

He tsked, catching a glimpse of himself reflected in the window. Still lookin’ sharp as always, but the little flutter atop his head was definitely not appreciated.

“You’re the one lendin’ me defective goods,” he snapped, “I thought otakus were supposed to take pride in gettin’ the good shit.”

Levi’s gasp crackled while he scowled at himself in the window.

“Oh excuse me? You’re lucky I even let you take anything when I caught you digging around my closet! Just for that I’m adding ten percent on top the finder’s fee for getting you out of this mess.”

“What?!” He glared at the screen. “Who’s the greedy one here? You or me?”

“Oh piss off.” Clattering computer keys accentuating his brother’s sass. “If I didn’t charge you for my assistance, I’d never get even a fraction of what you owe me back.”

“Ow, that hurts,” he said with a dramatic sigh, leaning against the window. “You’re my little brother, aren’t you supposed to wanna help me?”

Silence.

He checked the screen again to make sure the call didn’t drop, but the timer continued to tick away.

“… Levi?”

Nothing.

He clenched the D.D.D. tighter.

“Levi, if you hung up I swear I’m gonna—”

“ROFL did you really think that’d work? Your charms suck.”

“O-Oi!” He growled, “This ain’t funny! Quit actin' like me and tell me how to get them off already!” “Oh don’t think I’m trying to flatter you, I’m dead serious.”

A notification chirped in his ear and he swiped to check it.

“Authorize the transfer and I’ll tell you what I found.”

“6… 16,000 Grimm?! Are you crazy?!”

Levi’s laughter crackled again. “Well it’s either that or you’re on your own.”

He grit his teeth. “You tryin’ to extort me? You’re my little brother!”

“LOL as if you wouldn’t do the same if the roles were reversed.”

He opened his mouth to retort, but shut it instead.

“See? You can’t even lie and say you wouldn’t.”

“I never—”

The faint squeak of a turning faucet caught his attention, one of the ears atop his head tilting instinctively.

Dammit.

“So I take it you’re not interested then? If so I’ll be logging off. I have other things to take care of and you’re really eating into my grinding time to level up my latest gacha babes.”

It hurt. 

It hurt so much.

16,000 Grimm…

He didn’t even know what to think of what Levi just said.

He couldn’t look.

Just…

He squeezed his eyes nearly shut and held the D.D.D. as far away from him as possible, holding his breath to type in the pin code and hit confirm. After a few seconds the confirmation chimed crystal clear and he felt himself die just a bit inside.

“Oh wow! You actually paid. LOL you must be desperate.” Ugh, he was not in the mood for this anymore. “Just tell me how to break the damn curse already!”

“Simple. You can’t.”

“What?! What do you mean I—” The faucet squeaked again and the gentle rain of the shower faded.

Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.

He turned to face the window again, tucking the D.D.D. close and lowering his voice in a harsh whisper. 

“Listen, Levi. You better not be tellin’ me you just made me pay for nothin’ or so help me—“

“Oh come off it, you owe me way more than 16K. You should be thanking me for only taking that much!”

“You didn’t even tell me how to fix it!”

Levi laughed. “Because you can’t, there’s nothing to fix!”

“Nothing to- Levi I have a fucking tail!”

“So? So do I. Sometimes.”

“Levi!”

Another laugh. “Look, relax. It’s a feature for cosplay. The headband’ll reappear and you’ll be able to take it off when the curse is done.” “R… Really?” He hated how relieved he sounded, but if it was just a feature… “Oh,” he sighed, “Okay, I can work with that. How long does it last?”

“Um… let me check…”

Mammon leaned forward again, inspecting his reflection while Levi’s keyboard clacked away, and reached up to pinch one of the ears to give it a tug, wincing.

Functional and attached all right. These stupid things were as real as his own two ears.

“Oh you’re in luck! The effect only last twelve hours.” “Oh that’s not so- twelve hours?!”

“Mhm~ what’d you pick again? A tiger? Apparently some lesser demons can get a little too into character when they wear these… better be careful to not lose control and eat our human now.”

He scoffed, “Like some stupid little curse is gonna make me—“

“I’ll tell Lucifer just in case. It might be smart to come home until the curse wears off.”

Wait! No—

“Levi don’t you dare—“

Click.

“Well that phone call sounded intense.”

He whirled around, startled to see them— his human— standing just outside the bathroom door, dressed in nothing but a white hotel robe.

“Everything okay?” You asked, tilting your head a bit to finish towel drying your hair.

“H-How much did you hear?”

“Mm… something about a curse. I know you were talking to Levi…” You turned back and tossed the towel onto the bathroom counter. “Was it about the ears?”

He reached up to cover his head, smacking himself with his D.D.D. in the process. 

Why’d you have to smile like that.

He averted his gaze, sulking. “That damn otaku gave me some defective costume. He said I’ll be stuck like this for the rest of the night.”

“Aw… that’s too bad,” you said with a grin. “The whole night?”

“Y…Yeah…” He muttered and looked away. If the headband didn’t reappear again by morning, Levi better make damn sure he wasn’t home.

Who was he kidding though?

He wouldn’t do anything.

Well.

Actually he could probably do something.

Maybe figure out whatever the latest stupid collectible he was eyeing and snap up the last one before it—

“Could I…”

Your gentle voice nearly startled him out of his skin and he yelped. “W-When’d you get so close?”

You blinked, looking up at him in confusion. “Mammon, you have two sets of ears now. How did you not hear me coming?”

“I-I wasn’t paying attention!” He protested and you laughed, oh how you laughed. Was your laugh always so… exhilarating? His tail swished excitedly. It made his heart feel all light and funny.

“You’re so cute, Mamms,” you murmured, eyes sparkling with affection. “Can I pet you?”

He was already bowing his head, “Sure, anything you—“

Wait a minute.

He stood up straighter. “Wait- no! I ain’t some house cat!”

You giggled and reached up, wiggling your fingers, “Aw c’mon, please? You’ve let me before why can’t I now?”

He caught your wrists, about to tell you no again, but… the warmth of your skin…

Lesser demons can get a little… too into character.

But that didn’t mean him, right? He wasn’t some lesser demon, he was the Great Mammon, Avatar of Greed. One of the seven rulers of the Devildom. Surely he could resist some stupid little curse like this; he’d survived worse more times than he could count. 

Even if… 

“…Mammon?” You tilted your head, wrists relaxing in his grip. Always so trusting… so comfortable in his presence…

And your soul looked…

So…

“Mammon? Are you okay?”

He let go and stepped back, covering his mouth. 

Better be careful to not lose control and eat our human now.

He inhaled deeply, your scent so light and intoxicating when he breathed in. Had it always been so… alluring? When had it become so… tempting? It was almost like the first time he saw your soul… that sparkle that drew him in like the brightest of gems. He’d never… thought he’d have trouble resisting your pull, but right now…

“Mammon?”

A gentle touch on his arm sparked a reaction, and he’d only realized what happened by the sound of your startled gasp, only to find you beneath him on the bed, robe askew and eyes gazing up at him in surprise.

“I-I—” He sat up on his knees with his hands up. “I didn’t mean to do that.”

Surprise became temptation captured in your smile, eyes sparkling with desire. “Isn’t that part of why we’re here?” You shifted on the bed, letting the robe open further to expose more of your chest, one of your legs lifting to caress his inner thigh. “It is just us here~”

Heat rushed to his face. “I-I want too, but…” He glanced away again, swallowing thickly. “I’m not sure if I… the curse might make me…” He couldn’t even say it, his tail curling around his legs while his ears tucked in his hair.

This sucked.

He was gonna borrow money from Levi twice as hard now to make up for this! After he’d worked his ass off for a month to get Lucifer to approve this private trip up and save up enough to pay for it all, now he had to spend the night as some stupid cat?!

You sat up, question soft. “Is it the curse?”

He glanced at you, then looked away again without a word, only a nod.

“Do you feel sick?”

“…No.”

“Oh, well that’s good.” Your sincerity made his heart flutter, but when he turned to look at you again it clenched.

You’d scooted further back up the bed, robe falling off your shoulder while you stretched to grab the remote.

“Why don’t we watch a movie instead?”

Your offer was so nonchalant and calm, it snapped him back to reality if only a little more. “Y-Yeah, sure…” he said, starting to crawl into bed, but you held up a hand to stop him with a laugh.

“Mammon, you’ve still got your shoes on. Why not get comfy first?”

“Oh, right…” He turned his back to you and sat down on the edge, face heating further. 

This was going to be a long night.

“Did you want to shower before bed?” you asked while he leaned down to take off his shoes.

“Nah,” he sat up again and tossed his gloves on the floor, then shrugged off his vest. “I’ll just shower in the morning. I don’t wanna…” he trailed off, and you tugged his tail.

“Don’t wanna get your fur wet?”

“Hey!” He turned to retaliate, but fuck why did you have to look so tasty? He looked away again, stripping down to his boxers while your giggles tickled at his back.

Whatever.

He could do this. It wasn’t like this was the first time he’d been tempted by you before.

He climbed into bed and leaned back into the pile of pillows next to you, the plushness helping him relax. Yeah… Yeah just another comfy movie night, no biggie. Just him and you, no one else to barge in or try and get in the way. He could still salvage some of—

“Wh-What’re you doing?” He asked, tensing when you crawled over his legs and sat yourself between them, then scooted back and laid against his chest.

“Mm…” You nestled closer, tilting your head back to look up at him. “I thought this would be more comfy. Is this okay?”

Heat rushed to his face and much much lower.

“S-Sure—” he breathed, clenching his fists at his sides. “But ah… you should know the curse might make me…”

You shifted a bit, stealing a shaky breath from his lips.

“Don’t do that.”

“Why? Did I hurt you?”

“No, but you might make me wanna—” He bit his lip and tilted his head back, groaning under his breath when you snuggled closer.

“Mm… you’re always so cozy, Mammon.” You cooed, reaching out to rest your hands on his thighs, tracing your fingertips in light, nonsensical trails. “So… warm~”

“Y-Yeah….” He swallowed, feeling… trapped. His tail skittered against the bed, thumping in an effort to exercise his need.

“Does the curse make you want to hurt me?” you asked, touches gliding higher along his outer thighs.

“No…”

He could hear the smile in your voice, smell the scent of your skin usually so faint but now it clouded all other sense. 

“You wanna eat me?”

His fists clutched the sheets.

“No.”

“Mm…” You shifted a bit, purposely backing your ass up against his groin. “You sure?”

He swallowed again.

“No…”

You laughed and leaned back, ceasing your touches. “Damn… that’s too bad.”

“Y…yeah…” he breathed out, stealing a glance down at you. Even without the glow of the TV screen he could make out your figure perfectly, settled comfortably between his thighs. Your eyes were bright, nothing but happiness sparkling in your soul.

Ugh.

You shifted again, just a little, making yourself comfortable with your head resting on his chest. He wasn’t familiar with any of the shows you were flipping through, but he was trying to pay attention to what flickered on screen. It wasn’t fair. Your body was so… warm… so… soft… he just wanted…

“Mammon?”

He froze, realizing he’d been nuzzling just above your ear, and breathed out a low laugh. “Y-Yeah?”

“Are you… hungry?”

“What? For like… room service? You wanna order something?”

You laughed softly and placed your hands on his thighs. “Maybe in a bit… I don’t want someone… interrupting us.”

He swallowed, tensing when your palms drifted higher. “I-Interruptin’ what?”

You tilted your head back with a small pout. “You know I can feel it, right?”

Heat rushed to his face and he looked away, your laugh only making him feel even hotter.

“Why’re you acting so shy? It’s just me~”

He tucked his ears back and clutched at the sheets. “Be… Because I want you…”

“You have me~”

“Y-Yeah but—”

You reached over to touch his hand, “Mammon, relax. You’re going to rip the sheets.”

“I… sorry,” He loosened his grip and bowed his head, breathing in your scent. “I’m… not… I won’t… eat ya…”

“I know,” you hummed, lacing your fingers with his. “Even with fangs and claws, you’re as gentle as a kitten aren’t you?”

He growled, tail swishing on the bed when you laughed again.

“Do you think you’ll lose control?”

He winced, feeling the question sting in his chest.

“N…No…”

“You sure?” You teased, lifting up his hand and holding it between both of yours. With the curse his nails had sharpened slightly, not enough to be considered claws, but if he wasn’t careful he could easily hurt you. You slouched and lifted his hand up, tracing your thumb along the edges of one nail, feeling its razor-sharp point. “Does the curse make you… want to?”

He shook his head and tried to snatch his hand back, but you held it firm.

“Your nails are so sharp…” you chuckled, “too bad there’s no clippers in the bathroom, huh?”

“Y-Yeah…”

You leaned to the side and glanced back at him with a coy grin. “You wanna have a little fun?”

He sucked in a breath. “I- we can’t tonight, I--”

Your grin turned mischievous, and you placed his hand on your chest. “Just don’t squeeze too hard~”

His chest felt tight as flutters stirred below, the softness of your breast so—

“I-I can’t,” he whispered, wanting to let go but your pleased sigh kept him still. “I could hurt ya…”

“You could always do that,” you mused, closing your eyes and reaching your arms up to wrap around his neck.

“Yeah, but—” He squeezed, nails pricking your skin and stealing a soft moan from your lips. Don’t do that. “I-It’s different! Tonight I might actually do it!”

You chuckled and ran your fingers through his hair, feeling for his new ears and rubbing them with your thumbs. “I don’t know if you could… even if you wanted to.”

“I don’t want to!” He insisted, tail fluttering as he wrapped his arm around your waist, holding you closer. “That’s the problem!”

“Is it?” Your breathing changed and you rubbed your thighs together, moaning softly while his heart pounded at your back.

Don’t do that.

Your scent was changing… becoming… heavier…

He tipped his head down again, brushing his bottom lip against the curve of your ear.

“Please…”

You giggled softly, letting one arm fall to rest over his. “See? You still say please~ doesn’t sound like it’s a problem to me.”

He groaned quietly, nipping your ear while kneading your chest until he felt your nipple begin to firm under his palm. Careful. Had to be careful. If he squeezed too hard he could cut you…had to be—

“Ah~ Mammon,” you breathed out happily, subtly pushing his other hand lower as you spread your legs. “Touch me more~”

“D… don’t do that,” he whined, closing his eyes and nuzzling closer. Every whimper, every shift in his lap, every waft of your scent tickling his nose was making him—

Your hand touched his, guiding his fingers down lower to touch wet.

“Won’t you help me?” you whispered, using his fingers to stroke yourself. “Just a little?”

He swallowed thickly, body tensing and fingers splaying out. “I… can’t…”

“Please, Mammon?” you whined, reaching a finger down between his to touch yourself, letting him feel the strokes as you pushed further in. “It’s so much better when you do it.”

He growled, tail swishing again while he felt you fuck yourself between his fingers. No. He couldn’t. No matter how much he wanted it. No matter how good you felt against him. No matter how good you smelled. How good it’d feel. How soft and warm you felt pressed up against him… your little tremors rubbing your backside against his—

“Wh- Mamm—” 

You squealed in surprise at the sudden flip, but he didn’t give you much time to adjust. He grabbed your hips and pulled them up flush against his pelvis while his chest held you down.

“Ya gotta stop…” he whispered, his face pressed into the pillows beside yours. “I… I can’t…” He rubbed himself against the soft, wanting more. 

“Oh… Mammon…” you breathed, reaching between your legs and feeling for him, palming his balls. “Yes you can…”

Don’t do that.

He bit his lip, groaning under his breath while he rubbed himself against your ass. It wasn’t much… wasn’t enough. He needed more.

“I could hurt ya…” 

“You won’t~” you whispered back, giving his balls a gentle squeeze and making him groan. “I know you won’t.”

“G-Give me an order,” he said, “Make me stay back. Sleep on the couch, I dunno.”

“Is that what you want?” Your thumb stroked his sack and he loathed the cloth that dulled the sensation.

No.

He clenched his fists, tail swishing side to side while he humped into your palm.

“Tell me what you want, Mammon,” you whispered and he almost laughed. If this had been any other moment, it would’ve been the easiest request you could ever give him. But right now?

You rolled your hips back, using your ass to stroke his cock and shattering what little resolve he still clung to.

“If you really don’t want to… I can order you… but you have to tell me it’s what you want,” you said softly, “because… I want…”

Another roll and he—

You squeaked when he pressed his pelvis flush, knocked you into the pillows.

“I want you,” he murmured huskily, brushing his lips across the back of your neck. “I need you.”

“You can have me whenever you want me,” you whispered, pressing back against him, your slick beginning to soak through his boxers. “I’m always ready for you~”

He cursed under his breath, feeling you blindly attempting to pull him out. “I want ya so bad…”

You withdrew your hand, tucking your arms under your chest and letting your hips sway side to side to tease him. “I want you too, Mammon~ won’t you please give it to me?”

“Fuck.” It took everything in him to lift himself up on his knees, and everything more not to pounce again once he caught sight of your cunt spread before him, glistening with arousal. “Why’re you so wet already?”

You laughed, swaying your hips again. “What can I say? I’m needy.”

Needy…

Okay.

Okay.

He could work with that.

He closed his eyes and breathed out slowly. If he could just take care of you, you’d be satisfied enough to fall asleep and then he could try and find some way to calm down. Yeah.

Yeah that made sense.

He tapped his nails together.

Except he couldn’t…

Well, he could…

“Okay, hold on,” he murmured, lowering himself down to the bed and ducking his head between your thighs. Your surprise made him smile, and he laid on his back, looping an arm around your leg. “C’mere.”

“Oh hell yeah,” you whispered, spreading your legs and lowering yourself down. “You’re such a good boy.”

He chuckled, lifting his head to kiss you the moment you were within reach and moaning as the scent overloaded his brain. More. His tongue glided up your slit, making your thighs clench around his head.

“Fuck,” you hissed, sitting up and rolling over his tongue. “Good boy.”

You’re damn right he was. 

He let his eyes close, savoring the soft velvet feel on his tongue while he looped his arms around your legs, holding you steady. Soon your fingers found purchase in his hair, keeping him close. He moaned shamelessly when your ruts smothered him, making it hard to breathe… to think…

Only want…

“M-Mammon—” you stuttered, thighs tensing when his tongue circled over your entrance, taunting you with more. “Mammon, please—”

He let out a purr, resonating low in his chest, soothing his mate to let you know he’d heard. His tongue pushed inside and you let out a needy whimper, sinking your hips lower as if you could make him penetrate even deeper.

“Good boy,” you breathed, touching your clit and reaching up to squeeze your chest. “Don’t stop—”

He let his eyes open, gaze hazy and lustful. Your face was flush, fingers greedily massaging your clit while you gazed down at him, fucking yourself on his tongue.

“Don’t stop,” you whispered again, pinching your nipple and gasping under your breath. “Please… I’m close…”

He purred again and closed his eyes, tilting his chin up to lick up your slit and latch over your clit, suckling himself around you, fingers and all. You squealed and squeezed his head so hard it might’ve been deafening if it weren’t for the ears sitting atop his head.

“O-Oh, fuck, Mammon—” you keened, clutching his hair tight while your hips rut of their own accord. “Please-” you panted, “Please-please-ple—”

He moaned with you, feeling the twitch of your thighs tensing when a small wave of pleasure rocked through your core, satisfaction rising in his soul. That’s it… no one could make his mate feel this way~

“Oh… Mammon,” you breathed out, leaning forward to rest against the headboard. “That was— whoa!”

He tossed you aside as he sat up, licking his lips while you fumbled about. “You keep callin’ me a ‘good boy’,” he growled, stripping off his boxers and reaching for your legs before you could get too far away. “How many times do I gotta tell ya I ain’t a dog?”

Your eyes went straight to his cock, a soft gasp escaping your throat when he spread your legs. “Oh fuck…”

“Yeah,” he smirked, hooking your legs up around his hips while his tail swished smugly behind him. “Oh fuck.”

“M-Mammon, wait just a sec— you’re—”

He whisked you closer, pressing his cock into your heat with a low growl. “If you want me off, you’ll have to order me.”

You gasped again, reaching down to touch his lower abdomen. “N-No! I don’t— Just—fuck-!” Your last words came out in more of a moan, the thickness of his cock against your slit making you realize just what sort of predicament you were in.

“Ju…just go… slow…” you whispered, looking up at him with flushed cheeks. “Please?”

He tilted his head slightly, feigning consideration to tease you while he rolled his hips back, letting the head catch at your entrance. 

“Go slow?” he repeated, sinking his hips down and watching as your lips parted in a silent cry. “But didn’t you say you were… needy?”

“O-Oh shit—” you whined, reaching for his wrists and clinging tight. “M-Mammon you’re— it’s too—”

Lust gripped his soul when your nails bit into his skin.

“You can take it,” he purred, leaning forward and pushing further in, watching your eyes roll back with a silent keen. “I know ya can.”

“M-Mammonnn…” 

Your pathetic whines were always so precious; poor human struggling to take his cock~ He stopped himself, resting a hand on the bed and waiting for your breathing to steady before sinking further in, making your back arch and breath stilt yet again.

“You’re so tense… you gotta relax for me, treasure.”

“I’m trying,” you whined around a moan, shivers rolling through your body. “You’re so big.”

He laughed under his breath and eased his hips back, leaving just the tip inside. “Fine… I’ll let ya have a little break.”

Your grip tensed briefly, then relaxed off his arms, little indents left on his skin. “Good… good boy…” you whispered, and he chuckled again.

“You like praisin’ me, don’t ya?”

You breathed in deep, arms laying across your stomach as you gazed up at him with desire.

“Good boys… should be praised…”

His eyes lidded and he leaned forward on his hands, tail swishing side to side.

“You kept teasing me.”

Your hand reached up to clutch your breast, his hips sinking just a breath.

“Y…Yeah…”

“That ain’t nice you know,” he said, smiling more when your head tilted back. “You know what you do to me.”

“I know…” you breathed, gazing up at him with want. “… More…”

He pushed in further until your breathing hitched and your hands clung to him, tensing beneath him.

“You gotta relax, treasure~”

“I know,” you whined, hooking one of your legs around his hip. “Just… go slow…”

Still wanting more already?

“You’re greedy,” he murmured, pulling back only to rock back in, shallowly using his cock to stretch you while you whined beneath him.

“Needy,” you pouted, groaning when a soft clench squeezed around him. “Mmm-Mammon…”

“Needy,” he repeated, working you in gentle thrusts, your cunt so tight he could only fit himself halfway in. “Is that why you mess with me?”

You whined again and clung to his arm, lifting your hips to give him a better angle - or maybe it was more for yourself with the way you whimpered for him.

“It ain’t fair ya know,” he murmured, rocking faster when your walls became slick, tremors fluttering around his cock. “I didn’t wanna… risk losin’ control…”

“M-Mammon…” You breathed out, keening low as a soft ripple of pleasure radiated from within your core, making you even wetter.

He leaned forward, pushing himself in deeper and watching your eyes roll, nails biting his arms. 

“I can’t even take my time to do all the things I wanna do to ya…” he whispered, grinning as you wordlessly tried to say his name. “Look at what ya do to me~”

“M-Mm-amm--”

He thrust in full, groaning under his breath when the shock made you tense around him again, your whines music to his ears while you squirmed.

“Too… too… big…”

“Well if you would’ve waited till the curse was over I could’ve taken my time,” he said, easing his hips back only to thrust in full again, making you whine so deliciously~

“Hhhhii—”

Again.

You moaned when he sank in, clinging to his arms desperately.

“I can’t even use my hands,” he said, digging his nails into the sheets while his balls slapped against your ass. “Y’know how much it drives me crazy waiting for you to be ready for me?”

Your eyes were hazy, gazing up at him with a lustful glow.

“Fuck… me…”

His heart soared at that… your face so…

“What do you think I’m doing?” he asked, starting to thrust himself in deeper, steady strokes. Your fingers pinched his arms again, legs moving up to wrap around his hips.

“Was I goin’ too slow for you?”

Your brows furrowed, breath held in your throat.

“You asked me to, y’know~”

“M-Mamm-nn~”

“You can pinch me all you want~ but I’m still gonna make you cum.”

“M-Mah-fuh-mnn—”

Your walls began to quiver again, deeper this time with his full length thrusting inside. Ugh, your cunt was getting so wet. He closed his eyes and focused on that feeling, where it was contracting, squeezing…

“M-Mamm—!” 

His name left your lips in a sharp keen, body clinging to him as you clenched tight around him, smearing his balls with your cum while he thrust in deep to give you something to really squeeze.

“That’s it…” he purred low in his throat, reveling in just how much tighter you could be when you came. “That’s what I was lookin’ for~”

“I… I….” You breathed out, unable to think or say anything more.

He slowly drew his hips back, reveling in the way you whimpered and squirmed again.

“N-No- don’t… mhhh…”

“What? Don’t move?” He thrust in, shivering as your cunt tensed in response. “After I warmed you up so nice?”

Your eyes drifted up to his, a hand rising up to touch your lips.

“Mam… Mammon…”

“You wanted me to fuck you, didn’t ya?” he purred, leaning more of his weight on his hands. “Show ya just how much I want ya?”

“Please…” you whispered, closing your eyes.

“That’s my treasure,” he whispered back, leaning down to kiss your forehead. “You’re my treasure.”

You groaned, hands flying to his arms again to cling when he started to move, already so tense and stimulated. He hadn’t even made you cum as hard as he wanted yet, poor thing~ he needed more from you.

“M-Mammon…” you stuttered out a low whine, only goading him on with your desperate keens. It didn’t take long for your walls to begin closing in again, tremors rippling down his length with every stroke.

And it was so wet.

“M-Mammon—”

“There ya go,” he whispered, thrusting faster. “You’re doin’ so good.”

“Mammon, please—”

He groaned under his breath, fucking into the wet heat with his own desire. Your whimpers, your pleas, your desperate graspings only added fuel to his fire.

“M-Mamm- I can’t,” you cried, “I’m gonna—”

He growled, clutching the sheets tight.

“M-Mammonn-!!”

You cried out in a broken sob, cumming hard on his cock. A possessive sense of pride swelled in his soul as your cunt squirted and squeezed, clamping around him so tight.

“There ya go,” he moaned, dropping onto his elbows and letting his pelvis slap with deep thrusts, your whimpers music to his ears.

“Mam- I can’t—” you panted, clutching at him. “I cah--”

Your walls quaked, threatening to collapse again.

“There ya go,” he growled, chasing that feeling and letting the pressure rise. Just a little more…

“M-Mamm—” you keened a desperate breath, eyes rolling back.

He moaned, feeling so close but he needed just a little more.

“M-Mah—” you panted, hands weakly clinging to him as other wave rolled through, legs shaking as tears formed in the corners of your eyes.

“Fuck,” he groaned, the tight just what he needed to—

“Khck—” you keened, squeezing around him while he came hot inside, a thick throbbing roll emptying his load deep within your core.

Relief flooded his head, making thoughts light and dizzy. He moaned, nuzzling you lovingly while another pulse made your oversensitive walls twitch.

“That’s my treasure,” he murmured, a low purr resonating in his chest. Finally satisfied. “You did so good~”

Sweat clung to your brow, your chest heaving in deep breaths beneath him. 

He chuckled, leaning in to nip at your ear. “You okay?”

“Hh… hold me…” you managed, arms loosely finding their way around his neck.

He smiled and slid his arms under your shoulders, nuzzling closer.

“Gladly~”

He laid with you until your heart no longer raced in your chest, and your breathing eventually slowed. Until your embrace became more, and you began to stroke his hair. He stayed with you nestled beneath him, blissed out and full of his scent, his cum.

He laid with you…

“Mm… Mammon?”

He lifted his head, gazing down at you with a slight tilt. “What is it?”

You smiled dazedly and cupped his cheek, drawing him in for a kiss.

“Love you~”

He felt himself start to blush, the curse’s effects still making him feel…

“Love you too,” he whispered, kissing you again. “But ah, careful with that. Don’t get me too excited.”

You laughed breathlessly. “Oh don’t tell me you could go again.”

He smirked, “I might~”

“Ugh, please no I’ll die.”

He laughed, nuzzling his nose to yours. 

“No more tonight, promise.”

“Good,” you mumbled, hugging around his neck. “M’tired.”

“Wh… well you can’t sleep now, we gotta clean up.”

“Mm… in a minute…”

“But you’re… we’re all…”

You nuzzled into his neck, breath so soft and light.

“Later… ‘sides I… kinda like it…”

His face burned even hotter, and his tail swished side to side.

“Dammit…” he cursed, making you giggle. “Why you always gotta say what I wanna hear?”

“‘Cause I’m your treasure~” you teased, nuzzling yourself closer still. “Take care of me.”

He swallowed his skipping heart, suddenly finding it harder to resist wanting more.

“I promise,” he murmured, turning in to kiss your temple. “For as long as you’ll have me.”

“Does forever count?”

He chuckled fondly and closed his eyes, curling himself around you.

“Yeah, forever counts.”

[aotopmha]

The difference between FFXIV's social media community and the in-game community becomes wilder by the day to me.

I did another round of roulettes today and it's a load of 'my bad' and 'gg' and 'let's go again' and 'it's okay'.

I haven't even gotten parties that play badly, either. And if I do, I think we've always been able to talk stuff out and had people who were willing to learn.

Even in Party Finder, about a month into having stepped into EX content, I still think the worst I've gotten is some sarcastic remark about being a WoW player, implication being, that the party was bad in terms of skill (and a lot of fake farm parties, which has actually very little to do how good or bad the people are personally towards you, it's just not being good enough to be in a farm party, the solution to which I think is to join maybe a couple more in-progress parties that are close to clearing.)

Outside of a few instances, none of the criticism I've gotten just hasn't had anything to do with me personally, just my skill at the game, and even then has been either neutral, kind of awkward or very kind.

Maybe I'm good at disarming it (because I generally assume good faith interaction and implications because communication by text doesn't always convey tone properly), whatever it is, I've had an unusually positive experience in terms of the in-game community.

Meanwhile on social media:

Pictures of Wuk Lamat being hung on a noose, her voice actress constantly being misgendered and given death threats, down to even YoshiP speaking up about it.

I guess it isn't as fake of an outrage if *even the director of the game* speaks out about it.

And I see people downplay the in-game positivity/decency as "only being there because of very strict moderation".

And at this point, I say, maybe fucking yes. Maybe that's the point. Maybe a decently moderated community that excludes and moderates the poison is indeed the solution.

Every single non-moderated space on the internet will become disgusting. This isn't some "conditon" that only applies to FF14 and "holds back" the "actually horrible" community. That's just humanity without any laws that need to be followed.

Since I see all of those screenshots on social media, the moderation is clearly imperfect and it sure is on the forums, but maybe, just maybe we need decent, paid human mods.

Maybe the forums, at least could be curated better because that's what SE can control.

Said social media outside of the forums is all run by disgusting human beings that SE or the FF14 team can't control, though.

So it kind of, really frustratingly, does fall towards the creators and voices in the space, but they're often super "centrist", not moderating their comment sections because "they can't control it" and want "nothing to do with politics". But that in turn allows all of the bad apples to fester and be loud.

Larger ones, I get. Of course you can't. But maybe, just maybe, if you truly, deeply care for this community to be good, go through your comment sections even just once in a while and pick out repeat offenders or the most deeply disgusting ones?

That's all there can be done because social media is ran by these indifferent, disgusting people.

Even I have gotten nasty ones, which I deleted, though, nothing on the level of some of those FF14 posts on Twitter.

The internet fully, truly sucks now.

But I can't deny all of the goodness that is still hidden behind the gunk, which is what keeps me on this ruined technological marvel.

I, as an extremely small creator will at least try to keep the fire going in any small way I can (and am equally awaiting Twitter's collapse).

[chronotsr]

No. 1 - G1, The Steading of the Hill Giant Chief (July 1978)

Author(s): Gary Gygax Artist(s): Erol Otus, Dave C. Sutherland III (cover), David A. Trampier Level range: Average of 9, preferably 5+ players Theme: Standard Swords and Sorcery Major re-releases: G1-3 Against the Giants, GDQ1-7 Queen of the Spiders, Against the Giants: The Liberation of Geoff, Dungeon #197, Tales from the Yawning Portal

I'm not sure if G1-G3 are the most remastered adventures of all time, but it's gotta be competitive. I think Tomb of Horrors might have it beat, but I haven't counted. The 4e conversion [the Dungeon #197 one] is really weird in particular because…4e feels like the edition least interested in the legacy of DND? It was boldly doing its own thing. A good quality, actually.

Anyway, it's time to slag off* on a beloved adventure. Note, I am using the earliest copy of G1 I can find, which is from waaaay later when D3 was complete. I apologize.

*And by slag off, I mean "be critical of at all". In practice, this module is actually showing some unusual acumen compared to its contemporaries.

EDIT: I forgot to mention a rather important thing when this was made live -- note the title there! We are officially in ADND land now, so put away your little brown booklets and switch over to the fuck-off awesome player's handbook with the iconic Moloch statue!

Somehow I had gotten my whole life at this point never really…understanding what this structure was supposed to look like? It looks like this.

I honestly think exterior shots of dungeons are critically underrated. Handouts are amazing and being able to flash the back cover art to safely show the party "like this" is actually great, I deeply wish that….any? of the previous modules had done that? I think the only one that did was Tsojconth. Weirdly, the interior drawing is very subtly different. Look at how the logs face:

Not a huge deal but, a kind of weird inconsistency that top one looks like a stockade and the bottom one looks like a log cabin. Side note, we know that the long dimension of this is using 210 feet tall logs, which is to say, the size of an average redwood. These are some big fuck-off trees -- which could be a very interesting detail about the local area.

Now the setup is pretty simple. You were hired to go beat up the giants because they've been raiding the local humans, figure out why they're raiding, and comeback posthaste. The locals have kitted you out with horses, guides, maps, et c -- but no compensation, they have simply omitted a finder's fee (cheap bastards). Also, if you fail, they'll execute you. With friends like these, who needs Giants?

Gary starts with some mild railroading (you accepted the job already, you are already kitted out, you already walked to a nearby cave, you waited til dusk to approach, you notice two guards are missing, and the cave is guaranteed to be moderately hidden. Sure, whatever, I'm going to ignore that if I run this tho. Gary notifies us of a few critical details:

Don't run this stock, that's immoral

Any surviving giants will flee to G2 if they have the opportunity (which, kind of inherently punishes clever play that avoids combat?)

There is a 2% chance per round that the wooden structure will be lit on fire due to chronic rain (why is this a dice roll??)

If you will permit me a tangent, player arson is truly the bane of interesting scenarios everywhere. Whenever a player wonders, "why are all the GM's dungeons underground or in stonework buildings?", it's because doing anything else invites arson as the default and best answer to all problems. Magic items are fireproof and most metal items will not get hot enough to be destroyed, so very often the best solution is to burn the place to the ground and loot it the next day. So, yeah. No wood buildings. Gary's fix is to have all the giants flee into the basement, then waste a week of the PC's time for daring to use arson. Kind of sucks!

Tangent complete.

Here's some random interesting bits:

Gary explicitly states that you can pass yourself off as hill giant kids, which is extremely funny. Minus the implicit child murder.

Naturally there are giant moms doing giant housemaid shit in several rooms. Presumably they have giant curlers too.

The secret door is, literally just a doorway covered by a pelt. I have to hand it to them, that'd trip up most players in 2024 AND make them feel stupid for not figuring it out!

The big reveal that Eclavdra the Drow is secretly behind it all is so lightly teased that it feels downright tasteful.

A giant that uses a ballista as a crossbow (based) and spears for arrows (also based) -- between the prevalence of lightning spears and greatarrows, one starts to think of a certain famous video game. Genuinely I think it'd be a fun exercise one day, for someone who is more knowledgeable than me about Japanese fantasy roleplaying culture, to talk about how anglophone fantasy works made their way into Japan and were interpreted.

One of the cloud giants has hidden a sentient giant slaying sword that speaks all the giant languages, it feels like there's a hell of a story going on there that is only alluded to!

To my knowledge, this is the first official depiction of an orc in DND? Which implies that Gary is team pig-orcs, which is cool. Frankly, I love porcine orcs, or even better just pigfolk in general, they're great.

I think it is actually a rather bold early stance for Gary to hold that, even here in 1978, Chaotic aligned creatures are not automatically friends. Granted, that's how it is in Elric, so it's not THAT bold, but clearly everyone else missed the memo. The orcs are willing to side with you at least in the short-run, and in our previous modules it was very rare to have groups of chaotic-aligned creatures fighting one another. It was always just personal beefs. In fact, the overall theme of G1 so far is that despite the boxy-ass dungeon design, there's already a command of naturalism that even modern dungeons really struggle with. Factionalism truly is the gift that keeps on giving for the GM!

So the big reveal internally to G1 (just think of that -- a reveal internally to G1, and externally to the GDQ supermodule -- we're already getting pacing!) is that the orc slaves have rebelled. And -- hey -- good for them. There's also a kind of…built-in companion refill system going on here? So in oldish DND the way it works is, the expectation is the party is not just 5 guys with swords. You've got companions to help fight, and you've got hirelings to do other stuff (test suspected traps, if you're evil). And you can only hire so many of these guys from town, but attrition is going to happen. So the modules simply provides, automatic replacements should you negotiate worth a quarter of a shit. A dwarf slave here, an orc slave there. Maybe a giant dissenter if you're really clever. One of the potential "rewards" you can get is more dudes to throw at problems.

More interesting bits

There is, what I can only really call an abortive idea going on here where there's a scary temple in the basement? But no one worships there and no information is provided. It is merely a fucked up altar. I think I vaguely recall that it's retconned Tharizdun in one of the remakes? They always retcon things to be Tharizdun. Busy man, Tharzy.

Gary, Gary no. Stop it. Stop this 78 guys bullshit. I thought we had established that giant rooms of giant clumps of guys was bad. I know you have terminal Napoleonics brain but stop.

Wait, Steading is a noun? I always thought it was a verb. Yknow, like "Steading those hill giants", taking 'em down a notch. Apparently, a Steading is a small farm -- same etymology as Homestead. I guess mark that as our first Gygaxism?

Our second Gygaxism is gill, which is "a quarter pint of an alcoholic drink", which is to say a few mouthfuls

Always end your adventures with weird, ominous non-diegetic text. On the flip-side, absolutely do not do what the adventure does, and end on a teleporter that takes you to the next dungeon. That is the worst option.

Anyway, that's the whole Hill Giant situation. Honestly, it's better than I remembered, but in proud module tradition up to this point it gets weirdly filler-y in the basement. There's just something about basements that makes dungeon designers stop giving a shit, I swear. I do need to give the man his due, even though he was a shitass person: Gygax wrote an 11 page module that is of noticeably higher killer-to-filler ratio than any of his contemporaries. G1 is better than any of its predecessors, pound for pound. It is way, way shorter which is I suppose a plus to me and a minus to others, but -- there is a clear internal logic to this place that is tragically missing from (say) The Dwarven Glory. And that internal logic is the beginning of good adventure design. Anyway, we have two fun tidbits to discuss before we end for the day.

First up, we have an of-the-time account of events in Dragon #19! It turns out that in Origins '78 they played G1-G3's prototype. The account is of the winners (mostly West Virginians, a few Michiganders), who used their magic extremely liberally to hide what they were doing as well as to scout. They did opt to light the place on fire, good for them! If you want to check this out, it's on page 3. I will mention G2 and G3 here as relevant later.

Second up, there's a weird interquel hiding in Dungeon #198! Hanging out as an informal G1.5 is "The Warrens of the Stone Giant Thane!" I will not review it in full because my understanding of 4e is, basically just skimming the PHB and reading the DMG, but essentially the Stone Giants are hypothetically aloof and not particularly loyal to their Fire Giant superiors, but someone gave them The Rock That Makes You Crazy and so now they are. Smash the rock!

Man, map design in the 4e era was so fucking bad. It looks fine, but like, this is four circles. And downstairs is, of course, cave as far as the eye can see. Aren't stone giants supposed to be skilled carvers? Anyway, If you feel like G2 would be too big of a jump mechanically compared to G1, this exists. I'm sure you could use it if you liked, and certainly there is a Genre of Grognard who would be kinda tickled at the thought of finding "lost content" for el classico GDQ.

Next week, we cover G2, which was also in July. So was G3! They're triplets!

[pastelearthling65]

Losers club and bowers gang headcanons

has a bit of agere

★・・・★・・・★・・・★

Bill denbrough

-a tiny bit nearsighted

-has mild motor tics

-punched a hole in a wall

-got tricked into playing Doki doki literature club and had nightmares

-picks mushrooms but doesnt eat them

-over-prepared

-still draws stick figures

-has had to stop richie from snorting smarties

-hates being alone

-starts decorating for Christmas on November 1st

★・・・★・・・★・・・★

Georgie denbrough

-he has eaten crayons and will do it again

-he eats the fudge out of those fudge stripe cookies

-he'a really smart but also kinda stupid

-can do a handstand

-would naruto run in area 51

-he thinks mint chip tastes like toothpaste

-he can't spell Tuesday

-can speak little bit of spanish

-finds brainrot annoying

-bites his nails

-gives people pretty rocks or throws them at people if he hates them

★・・・★・・・★・・・★

Mike hanlon

-he likes green tea

-he's a cat person

-cringes at their old pictures

-when he was 3, he drank paint (dont worry he's ok)

-he reads spy x family

-tried to cuss on roblox

-fried food makes him nauseous

-can play a lot of instruments

-likes to draw

-his favorite color is navy blue

-uses 3-in-1 soap

★・・・★・・・★・・・★

Ben hanscom

-he's allergic to pistachios

-can write stories quite well

-sings in the shower

-once cried bc someone complimented him

-can run really fast

-has stuffed animals on his bed

-stole mouthwash when he was 5 and still feels bad

-salad fingers traumatized him

-he gives the best hugs

-watches bluey

-scared of kirby

★・・・★・・・★・・・★

Beverly marsh

-a demi-girl

-her favorite subject is english

-she likes mandela catalogue

-holds grudges for a long time

-danganronpa fan (she thinks maki is the best character)

-cant spell restaurant

-they sometimes sleeps over with ben

-she like ashnikko

-could kill you in an instant if deserved

-weirdcore fan

-has hello kitty socks and takes one sock full of pennies

★・・・★・・・★・・・★

Richie tozier

-watches men's gymnastics

-gets road rage

-tricked bill into playing doki doki literature club

-he set a desk on fire and got away with it

-bullies kids on roblox

-he will go crazy if the time is 12:34 or 4:20

-microwave noodles are his fav

-knows hapkido

-played a cupcakke remix in a school party and got kicked out

-likes the color red

-wonders what would happen if birds had four legs

★・・・★・・・★・・・★

Stan uris

-falls for deez nuts jokes every single time

-rides lawn mowers

-has weighted stuffed animals

-he almost died from drinking too much coffee

-cant drive for shit

-unintentionally offends people

-when he was little, he though spaghetti was a plant

-he once stuck gum on someone's purse and felt bad

-the word squeaky makes him laugh

-organized phone

-ruins santa for kids except georgie

★・・・★・・・★・・・★

Eddie kaspbrak

-has a sweater he stole got from richie

-has chronic nightmares

-horrible liar

-he always has hand sanitizer on him

-sucks at tongue twisters

-age regressor (2-6)

-likes maretu

-has a secret hatred for his mom

-he's a therian in denial

-loves the smell of grass

★・★・★・★・★・★・★・★・★・★

Henry bowers

-him and his mom used to hang out in the rain

-touch starved

-doesnt own a pair of matching socks

-made DIY brass knuckles

-has internalized homophobia

-he once got hugged and had a breakdown

-age regressor (0-4)

-punched someone for looking like his dad

-could probably kill someone if he wanted

-knows how to get away with murder

★・・・★・・・★・・・★

Belch huggins

-scared of wasps

-has a mary sue oc and gets mad when its pointed out

-has been suspended more than once

-his search history is concerning

-he finds otters cute

-calls missing child posters and says "finders keepers"

-has middle school boy humor

-once screamed like an anime girl over being jumpscared

-he's banned in new york

-listens to gwen stefani

-eggs houses in the winter

★・・・★・・・★・・・★

Victor criss

-he's trans masc and literally nobody knows

-likes board games (but he's a sore loser so no one plays with him)

-has a diary that he writes with a glittery pen

-canceled on twitter

-can't handle 1 gran of spice

-he got a binder for christmas and was so happy

-has a pet cat named whisker

-doesnt understand how glow in the dark things work

-the song candle queen by ghost and pals makes him think of patrick

-has a pet rock he named "dingus"

-internalized homophobia

★・・・★・・・★・・・★

Patrick hockstetter

-banned in multiple places

-a sociopath

-hates on everything

-for some reason he finds beating up people funny

-has been to a psych ward more than once

-bullies kids on roblox

-he's the gay cousin

-he used to bite people

-really good with weapons

-got compared to the onceler and got so pissed

-has an insane pain tolerance

★・・・★・・・★・・・★

Candle queen by ghost and pals/gumi

★・・・★・・・★・・・★

[training4theapocalypse]

Finders Keepers Ch 5. (Cormac McLaggen x fem!reader)

Rating: Explicit 18+

Word Count: 4.3k

Warnings: SMUT!!!!!!!!! Kissing, Dry humping, Sucking on my titties like you wanted me calling me all the time like Blondie check out my Chrissy behind it's fine all of the time.

Summary: It's the night of Slughorn's party and you're ready to make McLaggen jealous.

A/N: I said I wasn't gonna post til Sunday but I am too impulsive!!! Here is some recommended listening: Escapism by RAYE and Daylight by David Kushner (thank you anon for the latter recommendation). P.S. You can tell I'm not actually a Ravenclaw because my door riddle was SHIT lmao.

Masterlist

Tag list: @countlambula

Chapter 5: Firewhisky

Two weeks later, you sit on the same spot on the edge of Marietta’s bed, this time lacing up your strappy stilettos. You point your wand at your feet. ‘Molliare’ you think, silently casting a cushioning charm so you can walk with ease in your heels.

Cho and Marietta join you as you walk over to the mirror, they stand behind you like proud parents.

“Stunning,” says Cho looking at you in the mirror.

“Yes, well, enough about the dress,” says Marietta, admiring her alterations. “Zacharias is going to feel like he’s won the Daily Prophet Grand Prize Draw when he sees you.”

Ugh, you almost forgot about Smith. 

You admire yourself in the mirror and you have to admit- this is probably the best you’ve ever looked. Thanks to Marietta, your form-fitting cobalt blue dress seems to glow ethereally in the candlelight. She’s given you a high leg split and its generously low-cut bodice accentuates every curve of your body.

“Okay, toss your head forward and mess up your hair a wee bit,” says Cho. You flip your head down and back up and push your tousled hair behind your ear. “Perfect - it looks like you’ve just finished a very steamy snogging session.”

“Fuck, I’m nervous.” You reach out and hold both of their hands. “I wish you were coming.”

“Okay, Captain,” says Cho, imitating your most authoritative dressing-room voice. “What’s the game plan? Let’s go over positions.” Strangely, it helps your nerves.

“Meet Smith downstairs and arrive late. Don’t even look at McLaggen. Impress Gwenog. Still don’t look at McLaggen. Have a few drinks and hit the buffet-”

“Have one drink. No bread or you’ll burst out of that dress,” warns Marietta.

“One drink to stay reasonably sober,” you repeat, ignoring the last part. “Wait for McLaggen to approach me. Brush him off casually. Leave conspicuously and in an extra giggly fashion with Zacharias Smith then report back to you two in the common room.”

“Well remembered.”

“Shouldn’t I just snog Smith in front of him?”

“No!” says Marietta. 

“It’ll be way worse in his head if he doesn’t see you. Leave it to his imagination,” nods Cho knowledgeably.

God, dealing with boys was such hard work. You look at your two friends sincerely- they’re extremely skilled in this particular art of war. 

“Thank you- both of you. This was insanely hard work, I mean, this dress, Marietta…” You check yourself out in the mirror again. “It’s beautiful, really. I’m sorry if I’ve ever been sort of disparaging towards this stuff before. As if it’s any less worthwhile than Quidditch or school. It’s just… I’m not used to being bad at things.”

They understand. You don’t need to say any more as the three of you embrace in the middle of the dorm room.

“Right,” says Cho, wiping her eyes. “You’d better go before Zacharias thinks you’ve stood him up.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Slughorn’s office looks like a beautifully decadent circus tent. The walls are draped with emerald, crimson and gold hangings, contrasting with the striking blue of your dress.

You walk in, arm-in-arm with Smith who looks incredibly pleased with himself. When you met him earlier on the marble staircase he actually did a double take before saying your name questioningly, as if he didn’t believe it was you.

“Fuck off, Smith, I don’t look that different.”

“Ladylike as ever, I suppose,” he scoffed and you rolled your eyes.

But now as you walk in, you keep your head high and smile at other students you recognise, as if you’re delighted to be here with Smith. Murmurs ripple through the crowd, as the two of you pass through- you hope it’s your dress that’s causing a commotion but you resign yourself to the fact that your classmates are probably just surprised to see you here with a boy.

Tactics, remember tactics. 

“Let’s get a drink,” you whisper, marching him towards a tower of champagne flutes. You grab one and drain it quickly, using the opportunity to discreetly scan the room for McLaggen. 

He’s across the room, determinedly talking to Hermione. You have a satisfied feeling that he’s trying not to look at you.

You dump your empty glass, grab another for courage, and link Smith’s arm again, steering him to try and find Slughorn but you don’t need to go far before you hear a booming voice calling your name.

“Professor Slughorn! Thank you for inviting me,” you respond graciously, pretending you aren’t starstruck by his companion, Gwenog Jones. “This is Zacharias, he’s captain of the Hufflepuff Quidditch Team.”

“Oh! I thought- ” says Slughorn looking from you to Smith and then off into the room behind you. “Ah, never mind. I’m an old man, who knows less and less about young love these days.” Slughorn chuckles and Smith gives you a questioning look which you ignore. “Anyway, allow me to introduce Miss Gwenog Jones, Captain of the Holyhead Harpies. Gwenog, this is the Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain, I mentioned earlier.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” you say, shoving your drink into Smith’s hand and clasping hers when she reaches out to give you a handshake. “I’m a huge fan.”

“Old Sluggy’s been telling me all about you,” she says. 

“All good things, I hope?” You ask playfully of Slughorn who guffaws.

“Of course, of course!”

“I don’t suppose he mentioned our recent landslide victory against Slytherin?” You give her a winning smile, desperate to make a positive impression.

“He did… But I’m more interested in what he told me about your training.”

“My- my training?” you stumble - slightly surprised that Professor Slughorn knows anything about your training.

“I’ve told Miss Jones here all about you spending every evening on the pitch. I can see it from that window, you know.” He gestures to the window in the corner, obscured by the curtains. “You and McLaggen, practising for hours and hours and right in the middle of your N.E.W.Ts too… Oh, look, there he is!” Slughorn looks over your shoulder again and calls his name. “Not that you’d be interested in McLaggen for your all-female team, Gwen,” he chuckles. Slughorn spills a little champagne when he spots Harry Potter and practically runs over to join him, abandoning your group.

You bristle as McLaggen replaces Slughorn’s vacant space beside you. He shakes hands with Gwenog who, you remind yourself, he’s acquainted with already.

“As I was saying, Slughorn told me all about your win against Slytherin and while it piqued my interest, it was your work ethic that really got my attention. And he says you’re a keeper too?”

“A world-class one,” says McLaggen. “I’m surprised she hasn’t been snapped up by a professional team already.”

You blink at him in surprise. It’s very considerate of him to compliment you like that in front of Gwenog, even though you’re not speaking.

“And it’s you two who’ve been practising together every night?” she asks, noticing the look you give to McLaggen. “I mean, you’ve actually been training? Slughorn hasn’t been seeing you head off to the Quidditch pitch so you can snog privately or anything, has he?” She lets out a laugh like a bark.

“No! God, no,” you say quickly, and go to squeeze Smith’s arm but he’s already disappeared without you even noticing. 

“Absolutely not,” confirms McLaggen.

“Good,” she smiles. “Well, you’re not the usual build for a keeper, I must say. They usually look more like him - ha!” She nods at McLaggen. “But if you’re as good as he and Slughorn say you are, it sounds like I’d be stupid not to let you try out during the transfer window this summer.”

“That… that would be incredible. Thank you.” 

She bids you and McLaggen farewell and goes to mingle with the other guests. If you hadn’t fallen out with McLaggen, you’d grab him and jump up and down screaming for joy. Instead, you stand awkwardly, trying not to look at him.

Game plan, a small voice in your head reminds you but the champagne has loosened your sharp tongue.

“Well, you better not keep your girlfriend waiting,” you say, looking for Smith.

“Who told you that Hermione’s my girlfriend?”

“Hermione told Lavender who told Parvati who told Padma who told Cho who told me,” you rhyme off, trying to sound casual. 

“I thought you didn’t like gossip.” 

You shrug. “I just hear things.”

“Look, I know you don’t like her after what she did to Marietta-”

“Oh, is that what she said?”

“No, it’s what I know. I was in the D.A. with them too. You’re not the only one who hears things.”

Finally bringing yourself to look at him properly, you’re extremely annoyed to see that he looks incredibly handsome in his black shirt and dress robes. 

“So, have you snogged her?” You blurt before you can stop yourself.

“What?!”

“Have you snogged her?” you repeat slowly and clearly, knowing full well he heard you the first time.

“I’ll go and snog her right now if you’re so concerned.”

“Go ahead. It should be easy, right? If she’s your girlfriend and not just here to make Ron Weasley jealous. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to find my date.”

He watches dumbfounded as you walk across the room to grab Smith aggressively and lead him by the hand out of the room. When you reach the corridor, you turn around and see that Smith looks like he can’t believe his luck.

“Oh,” you say, trying to think of a lie when you realise you really, definitely don’t want to snog him. “Sorry- I just wanted a bit of air. It’s so hot in there and my armpits are like, really sweaty.” You make up wildly.

Smith pulls a disgusted face and turns to go back in. “Wait!” you grab his arm and spin him back around. “Let me fix your hair.” You run your hand through it, messing it up slightly. “There, much better.”

He stares at you, stunned. “You are so weird.” He returns to the party and you groan, leaning against the indented archway in the wall and knocking your head back against it a few times in frustration. When you hear the click of high-heeled footsteps coming towards you, you flatten yourself inside the little cove so you’re not spotted alone. 

Hermione Granger whips past you without so much as a backwards look. You watch her as she walks as fast as she can in the direction of Gryffindor Tower. She’s ditched McLaggen, you realise. You thought you’d feel ready to gloat but instead you just feel… empty. Until recently he was your friend after all.

Returning to the party, you’re not sure what to do with yourself. The game plan has gone out the window.

You want to do everything you can to avoid Zacharias Smith, and you really don’t want to be paraded in front of a vampire by Slughorn like Potter is right now. The only person you actually want to talk to is Cormac McLaggen but lately, all you’ve been able to do is argue, that is when you’re not sitting in sullen silence during Potions. 

You decide you’d better mix with some other students. You spend some time chatting with Dean Thomas and Ginny Weasley who you recognise from the Gryffindor Quidditch team. They congratulate you on your win against Slytherin, and you return the compliment but only out of obligation as both victories make your teams the closest rivals on the table, competing for the top spot. You excuse yourself and cross the room to get another drink but Professor Snape halts you in your tracks. 

“Detention,” he says simply. 

“Sir, I-”

“The first Saturday after the holidays. And I expect you to be more suitably dressed for the occasion.”

You open your mouth to argue but think better of it. Any argument with Snape is likely to extend your detention to a week or even a month. More murmuring cascades around the room as he gestures to the door. It’s probably for the best, you think, that you leave before you drink any more. You got what you came for - an invite to the Holyhead Harpies tryouts. But you wish you’d just…

What do you wish?

That you’d made McLaggen jealous in the process? Or even just made up with him? Gone back to being friends. But could you ever swallow your pride and settle for being just friends? Surely that had to be better than whatever this feeling was right now.

Out of the hot room, the cool air hits you dizzyingly as you walk quickly along the corridor to the entrance hall. You see McLaggen ahead of you, near the front doors, in almost the exact same spot where you had your argument two weeks ago. 

Maybe being friends would be enough.

When he hears your footsteps he turns and groans “Oh, no. Not you.”

You catch up with him. “Always so disappointed to see me, McLaggen.”

“I’ve been chucked out. Snape gave me detention.”

“Me too,” you shrug. It’s not much of an olive branch but your instinct is to try and make him feel better. Misery loves company after all.

“You have?” He brightens up considerably. 

“He thought I wasn’t ‘suitably dressed’,” you say and his eyes follow your hands as you smooth the front of your satin dress. “What did you get chucked out for?”

“He caught me hiding behind the bar trying to drown my sorrows.” He pulls an entire bottle of Firewhisky from his cloak.

“Your sorrows?” 

He shrugs. “Doesn’t matter.”

“And he didn’t confiscate the bottle?”

“I pretended that I was about to vomit on his shoes and he just threw me out without noticing I still had it.” 

Without warning you both burst out laughing. Your stomach hurts from laughing at the idea of Snape dragging McLaggen out at arm’s length, trying to avoid being vomited on.

“Well, no wonder he was in such a foul mood when he saw me. I mean detention, for wearing a dress?”

“Personally, I agree with Snape,” His gaze lingers on you again. “It’s very distracting.”

“Oh, shut up.” 

“Just don’t ask me what colour it is. I haven’t noticed.”

You hit his arm. This is nice - the playful banter, both of you not sulking for the first time in weeks. It feels almost… normal. Until, with a small jolt, you remember it’s not.

“Don’t be a pig, McLaggen. You have a girlfriend.”

“She isn’t my girlfriend,” he says, leaning his head back against the wall. “We can’t stand each other.”

And there it is. The news you’d been secretly hoping for all night. The pit in your stomach feels much lighter.

“Where’s Smith anyway? He was looking pretty dishevelled when he came back from the corridor.”

You feel a pang of guilt. He’d noticed. And it doesn’t make you feel victorious in the way you’d thought it would. “I honestly couldn’t give a shit where he is.” He says nothing. You wonder if he’s been hoping for similar news too.

“Do you want some?” He asks eventually, shaking the bottle of Firewhisky and breaking the prolonged silence. You go to accept it but he says. “Not here - Snape and Filch will be prowling the corridors in a minute.”

“Quidditch stands?”

He nods and you exit the castle, walking side-by-side in the dark, down the path towards the pitch. It’s a frosty night and you feel your teeth chatter.

“Wait a sec.” He removes his heavy cloak and wraps it around your shoulders. It smells good. Like him. “Better?” You nod and take the bottle from him, so you can have a nip of Firewhisky. It burns your chest, spreading heat through your body.

The path ends when you get to the pitch and you feel your high heels sink into the grass. “Shit,” you hiss, freeing one of your stilettos.

“Right, up you get.” He stands in front of you and stoops slightly, so he can give you a piggyback. 

“You must be drunk if you think I’m letting you carry me.”

“Don’t argue for once in your life. Hurry up.”

You give him the bottle back before jumping up so he can carry you across the grass and underneath the stands. The familiar smell of amber and jasmine, this time mixed with Firewhisky and mud from the Quidditch pitch, reaches your nostrils. You resist the strong urge you have to lean into the crook of his neck and inhale.

He lets you off when you get to the wooden stairs. “Ladies first.”

“Remembered I’m not a bloke, have you?” you ask, walking up the stairs. Cho was right- he does always let you walk in front of him.

“If I thought you were a bloke, I wouldn’t constantly be staring at your arse.” He gives you a cocky grin. 

“Oh, well, by all means, carry on objectifying me then,” you say sarcastically and snatch the bottle from his hands before turning around quickly so he can’t see you smile. 

He follows you to the top of the stand where the pair of you sit, looking out onto the pitch and the snowy hills in the distance. 

“I’ve never noticed how beautiful it is up here,” you sigh. 

“Always been too busy watching the game?” 

You nod. 

“Same.” 

There’s still an awkward dark cloud hanging over your heads. You take another drink of Firewhisky and pass it back to him. 

“Right, out with it then.”

“What?” he asks.

“We can’t just act like the past couple of weeks haven’t happened.” Being brave, being vulnerable like this is something you’ve always found difficult and the bottle of liquid courage you and McLaggen are sharing doesn’t seem to be helping. 

You try to think of how to get the words out - if there’s one thing you’ve learned from spending more time with Cho and Marietta this year, it’s that it’s better to get this sort of thing out in the open. You take a deep breath, preparing for rejection but he beats you to the punch. 

“I’m an idiot.” He groans. “I just - I got it into my head that we’d go to the party together and you’d end up getting off with Gwenog Jones. So when Hermione asked me to go I jumped at the chance.”

“I don’t fancy Gwenog Jones-”

“-Then you turned up with Smith and that was even worse than what I imagined with Gwen.”

You draw his cloak around you and look at your shoes. “Well, I didn’t realise you had asked me to go to Slughorn’s party as friends.”

“I- I didn’t want to ask you as friends. Believe me. I thought I was kidding myself that you might be into me… everyone said I was stupid to even ask you.”

“Who’s everyone?”

“Belby-“

“Belby?!” You scowl. That moron. “Who else?” You demand.

“Well I’m not gonna say now, am I?” McLaggen laughs. “I can tell Belby’s about to regret it.”

Your face cracks into a smile. The aggression bubbling up in your chest evaporates into the frosty night air. His laugh gives you a new perspective - it’s as if you can step back from the scene and can see how daft it is to get so bothered by someone like Marcus Belby.

You look up at his face in the cold moonlight. Butterflies squirm in your stomach. He’s so distractingly good-looking - you can’t think properly when it’s just you and him like this. No quaffle or cauldron to divert your attention or give you a reason not to look at him for too long. 

“To be honest, I sort of thought Belby was right after all because you didn’t seem that keen when I asked you.”

“I hesitated because you make me nervous, Cormac,” you say softly, determined not to look away. It’s like looking into the sun.

“Yeah?” He’s still looking into your eyes but he feels closer now. 

“Don’t pretend you haven’t figured out by now that I like boys too.” You look from his eyes to his lips. “Well, not boys. Just… just one.”

His mouth is inches from yours. You can feel his breath on your lips. “If you say Smith, I’ll kill him.”

And there it is. You’re not sure whether it’s his possessiveness or the fact you’d really like to watch him hit Smith but something about that sentence makes you feral for him. You press your mouth against his, the burning taste of Firewhisky on both your lips. 

He kisses you back fiercely. It’s harder and rougher than the soft kisses you’ve experienced before but you like it. It means you can kiss him back the way you want to - you know he can handle it. You bite hard on his bottom lip in silent admonishment for what he’s put you through. And Cormac returns the favour, his hand roughly gripping the part of your thigh exposed by your dress. You wonder if he knows it’s for him. The absence of fabric - created for the sole purpose of seeking his attention.

You bring your arms behind his neck, pressing your body as close to him as you can and the Firewhisky falls from the bench and rolls on the floor, forgotten. He moves his hand under your thigh and drags you onto his lap so that you’re straddling him. Your lips meet again, crashing into each other and his tongue intrudes into your mouth, rolling over yours. You want to feel his mouth everywhere.

As if reading your mind, his lips leave yours to kiss along your jaw and down your neck. You lean back so he can draw his tongue along your collarbone and bury his face in your chest. Cormac’s strong hands grip your hips tightly, his thumbs pressing bruises into your hipbones without any indication of slowing down or showing restraint. 

From this position, you can feel his erection pressing into you. It’s the first time you’ve kissed a man like this but your body responds almost automatically, sending your hips grinding into him. The night air is below freezing but your skin feels burning hot between the weight of his cloak and the warmth of his body.

The difference in size and strength between you sends wild thoughts flashing through your mind of him pinning you down against the bench and savagely taking you there.

You run your fingers through his dark blonde hair, pushing his face into your cleavage in encouragement, feeling his hot tongue and rough chin against your chest as you grind yourself against him harder. The now hot and damp fabric of your underwear rubs against the hard bulge between your bodies, creating friction more electric than the one that’s been between you the past few weeks.

“Fuck…” he moans into your chest softly.

All evidence so far has pointed to Cormac being an ass man but you’re not so sure any more as he continues his vocal appreciation, licking and sucking your tits right here on the deserted stands.

Cormac’s hands move up from your hips to push your breasts together and he whines when one of your nipples peeks out over the top of your dress. He latches onto the small nub of skin and sucks, swirling his tongue around your nipple. 

“Cormac, fuck, that’s-”

But just what it is, is interrupted by the anguished moan of pleasure that leaves your lips when his teeth graze your sensitive skin. It echoes across the deserted pitch into the night. A noise that would be indiscernible in the usually busy stadium. Unable to take it anymore you push his chest back and stare into his eyes, breathing heavily. 

“We shouldn’t… we should go back to the castle,” you pant.

“Shouldn’t what?” He raises his eyebrows with a smirk, his slightly wet chin glistening in the dim moonlight. “I haven’t suggested anything.”

“I was talking to myself.”

He grins and helps you off of him so you can fix your dress. “Well, that was easily the best thing that’s happened to me in this stadium,” he says, adjusting himself too.

“Ah, maybe you’ll get a game one day,” you tease and cup his face, just so you can feel his stubbly chin against your palm again.  

He kisses your palm before taking your hand in his so you can walk back down the steps to the pitch together. When you get to the grass he insists on carrying you again but this time refuses to put you back down until you reach the castle steps. 

From a tower high above, Horace Slughorn looks out of the window of his now-empty office. The party has long finished. He chuckles to himself when he sees the silhouette of McLaggen emerging from the darkness, carrying you on his back towards the entrance hall, illuminated by the castle torches.

When you climb off him and make it to the top of the marble staircase, you kiss him goodbye one final time. This is the last time you’ll see him before you go home for the Christmas holidays tomorrow. You turn and leave for Ravenclaw Tower, while he goes off in the opposite direction to Gryffindor. 

“I can skip, I can be broken, I can burst, I can sing. What am I?” asks the bronze eagle knocker on the door. “A heart,” you say, ripping off your heels impatiently, waiting for the door to swing open. You need to wake up Cho and Marietta - you promised you’d tell them everything.

Chapter 6: First Name Basis

[shizucheese]

Hey everyone! So we're changing up the streaming schedule for this week. Originally the plan was to stream Tuesday and Wednesday as usual and, since FFXIV servers would be down on Wednesday, we would play FFIX instead in the name of Dawntrail Hype.

But then during tonight's stream it became abundantly clear that what would end up happening would be that we would end up finishing Tuesday's stream with only one zone left in Stormblood, and that sucks as a way to end things before going on a 2 week break, especially in combination with us only playing the first three hours of FFIX on Wednesday.

So yeah we're not doing that. What we're going to do instead is stream on Monday and Tuesday instead of Tuesday and Wednesday. Monday will be Lakshmi up to Castrum Abania. Tuesday will be the rest of base Stormblood. As always, if you're interested in joining in on doing MSQ content at min ilv, keep an eye out for Shizune Dazkar on Aether's Party Finder! Streams start at 7:30 Central!

Thanks guys and if I don't see you on Monday or Tuesday, then I hope you have a happy Dawntrail launch!

[box-bunny-grey]

A Washed Up WoW Raider (from original release Cataclysm) Decides to Dip His Toes into FFXIV Savage Raiding and fails to clear an Ultimate

“This is a pretty easy raid tier.”

Had a subject I decided to write another mostly unedited blog post about. Let’s see how it goes!

So, since I started playing FFXIV I’ve been avoiding high end raiding. After having just completely burnt out on serious content in WoW a while back but still enjoying MMOs I’ve been trying my best to do so. Having felt Heavensward be the point where I still felt the toxic WoW player in me before that finally bled out probably around mid-Stormblood, I’ve been enjoying finding what I can to do. But on occasion I have dipped my toes into Extremes, and that’s always when a boss “hits me” right. Like something about the fight or the aesthetic gets me. Susano’s sword qte got me to clear it on extreme while still ‘current’ content, while the hectic nature of Barbariccia’s fight made me want to try it. But I never tried a savage because well, top content. After all, none of the tiers really spoke to me with their normal mode fights. But when Arcadion came out I just felt something click in. Something in me found the whole tournament arc, each boss having a separate theme, being voiced, and just the implication of what the tactics for savage could be. So I decided to take the plunge.

And decide fuck it, let’s make it a whole blog post because it might be fun.

Black Cat: the guild officer in me rears his ugly head

So, when I was first trying this fight I told some friends who said “Hey, let’s get together some other friends to do it for the hell of it!” So I decided why not? Dedicated people, probably better than party finder. So I waited to see if someone would say something since I figured someone else was ‘leading.’ Well waited a couple weeks and nothing came of it, so I decided you know what. I’ll say a day, see if people want to do it. Sure enough the group members we had were all available so we went with it and…

Got in a single pull in which we wiped on the first mechanic before we quit. So. That sucked. And that should have been it but instead I started to have thoughts. “Oh the schedule’s all fucked.” “I let the group down.” “The guild leader’s going to kill… The guild leader?”

So.

Turns out I may have been affected by my time as a guild officer in WoW having a guild leader who expected a lot more out of me than you should trust someone at that age and would chastise me hard for any mistake I made in leading the b team raids and would do things like guilt trip me into doing heroic content even after I said I was burnt out and needed a break and would then chastise me for fucking up on content I told him I didn’t have the fortitude for anymore. Then would talk down to me when I got rightfully mad because he wasn’t respecting my decision to not try serious content for a bit!

But thankfully a friend from that group was kind enough to hear me out and let me know “This has nothing to do with being a grown-ass man shit like that can fuck you up.” And I think having that moment helped me because.

I then tried it again on my own after leaving the pseudo-static to try it on my own. And I found that I can at least handle long prog parties if I have the time set aside!

Because I was there for 4 hours.

Very funny thing, I was told after a few pulls to go off tank because apparently my invincibility button wouldn’t be up for Raining Cats if I did the thing every group did where you used the button on the first tank buster.

We never made it to Raining Cats.

I don’t even think we made it past Mouser 2.

But I stayed with it, even when we had the group seem to break up temporarily. But due to it I had to eat a late dinner while I waited. The night ended with me hearing the group leader complain to me about how their boyfriend and other raiders had decided to make a static without them and while a nice conversation. Kind of an odd thing to just tell a random person from party finder.

But even though I could do it it got me thinking: do I really have the patience for prog like this? Do I really care enough about pixels in a video game anymore to commit to these kinds of parties that go nowhere? While plenty of people have stories of people who made long lasting friendships over MMOs I uh… Didn’t.

Most people in my guild were probably anywhere from 5-10 years older than me and those within my age group wound up… Not being great. Like a Warrior who would pad meters by spamming AOE on a fight in which doing so made us explode and for some reason decided to roll on a sword he didn’t need and when asked to pass it to the person who did decided to…

Disenchant the weapon and mail him the shard saying “Here’s your sword : ).”

So yeah, all the while this slow progress and my own bad experiences made me say something on twitter.

And a different friend said in response “Hey, we have a free company that’s literally serious savage raiders who try to help players who are new to savage.” So after a day or two of thinking about it I thought.

Alright, fuck it. First few weeks didn’t say much, tried doing more party finder. Then eventually I went into voice chat and talked a bit and eventually they got me into a group and helped me clear (Despite me somehow managing to kill the MT WHO IS SAID FRIEND by going to the completely wrong place). So I thought that was as much time as they could spare and I get hit by.

“We’re taking you into Honey B Lovely.” “You Wha-”

Honey B Lovely: NOW THIS IS SPEED PROG

So, at that moment I found out what Speed Prog is.

Speed prog is when someone takes you into an instance and goes “Alright buddy time for you to learn the entire fight in one lockout because everyone here knows what they’re doing.”

So not much prog story, but due to the above happening I FREQUENTLY forget things in the fight. So now even having done it a few times I’ll say that no matter what. Alarm pheromones gets me. And I can hear you saying “Oh yeah alarm pheromones 1 is bullshit.” NOPE. SOMETIMES 2 FUCKS ME UP. REMEMBER ME. IT’S SUPPORTS AND DPS. NOT LIGHT PARTIES.

Brute Bomber: The Frustrations and Limits of Party Finder

So having been essentially carried through the first two fights I was feeling pretty good, and decided to give a shot at continuing prog before I asked for help and first groups were pretty good, frequent progression forward to the point that I even made my way through Chain Deathmatch 2! Bombarian Barrage might still make me take a sharp inhale every time but I was pretty consistent! So I kept going and find out that…

Party Finder lies to you!

Fusefield prog? Nope, Final Fusedown prog!

Chain Deathmatch 2 prog? NOPE. Final Fusedown prog!

Fuse or Foe prog? NOPE. FINAL FUCKING FUSEDOWN PROG!

(Stated by a person who took longer than he cares to admit that it’s SLIGHTLY BEHIND THE MARKER for Final Fusedown.)

So I’m talking to the free company I’m in and someone says “Oh you’re that far? Just prog skip there’s nothing new to see.”

So sure enough I join clear parties and find that yes, the only thing I haven’t done is really easy and

So. Many. Are. Still. Final. Fusedown. Prog.

But again, a few members of this free company came on by down the wire and helped me out with a clear so I could be a part of reclears the upcoming week. Where I learned “AH ONE DOES HAVE TO TIME THEIR INVINCIBILITY BUTTON.” Good news, I only ate the last one and died rather than caused a slow death across the party!

Where I may have died and fucked up a bit but HEY FIRST CLEARS ARE LIKE THAT HEE HOO.

Wicked Thunder: Where Confidence is Born

So we’ve gotten to the final boss and in my first party finder pull.

And we die to the first raidwide. And you know what?

Everyone took it well! We just laughed about “Damn, that raidwide does need mitigation.” That’s one thing I’ve noticed from a lot of Party Finders, most people tend to be good sports and try to figure out what’s going wrong over just screaming at each other. Remember how I said it took me a while to figure out Final Fusedown? Well that was fixed because one of the parties figured out I was out of place and told me where I should be on the marker!

And boy howdy did I have fun with those early phases. No matter how much we wiped there was something hilarious to me about exploding during Electrope Edges. Even had someone who was out of place and overcharged me rage quit with this message:

But sure enough Electrope Edge is where things kept getting screwed up, and somehow during stacks I’d always find that things didn’t seem right.

Doing some runs with the raiding friend I found out “OH. FOR STACKS THERE ARE SET POSITIONS THAT AREN’T JUST MY MARKER SPOTS.” And through that I eventually make it to Sunrise Sabbath!

… I mean I was so overwhelmed by it I just stood in the middle and was definitely the reason that one didn’t wind up being a kill and I think shortly after a DDOS hit that caused use to have to stop pulling but HEY I CAN SAY I’VE SEEN EVERYTHING.

So I pushed on on my own and had plenty of characters that were on my blacklist temporarily. Some people bad, some people just obnoxious, and some that are wonderful people playing very well and making up for the fact that my dumbass died twice when I finally got that clear.

But I got the clear. In Party Finder. And I felt a feeling I haven’t felt in a while. That absolute adrenaline rush when you finally get a clear. The music, the tension, the closeness as sword quiver goes out. It’s that feeling of finally getting done with a boss and knowing that you are good enough at the game to do that. And as I did so I kept seeing that despite my zero parse on M4S, despite the mostly grey parses I had, I could tell one thing.

Wow I am better than most people in PF Jesus.

But what makes me say that? Well…

The Pain of Reclears

So, due to scheduling conflicts and one section later reclears started to not happen over in the free company. Which I was fine with might as well try to do them on my own because aftera ll everyone’s cleared this will be painless. Right?

Fun fact, when I did that 4 hour M1S party one of the people leading it said, and I quote:

“You guys are honestly better than most clear parties.”

I.

I thought he was joking.

HE WAS NOT JOKING. OH GOD HE WAS NOT JOKING.

IT’S FUSEFIELD PROG NOW THEY CAN DO FINAL FUSEDOWN BUT NOW IT’S ALL FUSEFIELD.

IT WASN’T EVEN THE HEALERS THEY WERE FINE JUST EVERYONE FUCKED IT UP FOR LIKE 3 DIFFERENT PARTIES AND THE ONE THAT GOT HIT 1% ENRAGE 4 TIMES AND THE RED MAGE KEPT DYING.

Also somehow the Dancer who it was being cleared for was the only one who didn’t fuck up any tactics which is really funny. They might have gotten a zero parse but fuck man good on ya you got your clear and you can only improve.

That includes me I had the occasional messed up Lariat/Dive because I forgot which he was doing I ain’t perfect buddy let that be the lesson here.

Funny enough, M4S was far easier. Party had a wipe (literally my fault can’t even deny I fucked up Midnight Sabbath and murdered my partner because I tried to correct and just wound up confusing him) but like we had a pull where nearly all the ranged and healers died and we recovered and got the clear with that one.

And I main tanked that one! After that one party made me nervous and even got complimented! Because the summoner kept dying (they were aggravated with themselves sorry poor guy ya kept getting fucked) and happened to die during Mustard Bomb 2 leading to only one safe party member which the OT took so I had the opportunity to HALLOWED GROUND AND EAT IT RAW. THANK YOU OTHER TANK FOR LETTING ME MT SO THAT WAS UP SO I COULD FEEL COOL.

That was week 1 of me doing reclears on my own and well. Boy howdy I have some opinions but the most succinct version of it I can give is.

Uptime Sunrise is the funniest, most worthless resolution in the game. It turns a mechanic that might end with one person dying if someone is a little off to one that kills half the party. If your leader has markers even slightly off it means you’ll be dying and not knowing why. And as it turns out if DPS is high enough you can just skip it. It serves no purpose but to be put into the mind of Party Finder that those like what, 3 extra gcds will totally lead to a clear?

My plan had been originally to just clear and be happy, and now I’m BIS and have the mount. So I suppose I feel pretty good. Good enough to have decided to help out with something the friends were trying to do.

Perfect Alexander: Where We Learn Hell is Other People

So, there’s a funny thing people do if you do savage. And that’s that they say “Let’s do an ultimate!”

At first I was apprehensive but decided fuck it, nothing ventured nothing gained. After all, the group seemed pretty good. All people who had been helping me clear or people who already did Ultimates. By the end we had about 9 people so I even had an out if I decided to leave. So I thought.

Well, we had the three greatest problems any kind of group content has: Scheduling, Personalities, and Desperation.

The scheduling was a mess at first. Members who were only available at super late night and at very specific times (if people even remembered they had to tell the group organizer schedules) meant that early on we had a Tuesday night hat lasted about six hours. That got changed eventually to spread out the raid nights a bit more manageable. Unfortunately as it turns out two of our members just couldn’t make any of the times so that’s two down. But seven ain’t bad right? Well…

Personalities was me finding out that two people who were helping me may have, in fact, been big issues in the Free Company for a while and that the leader had finally had enough of their bullshit. This is made worse by the fact that, when I can only imagine they’re being told they’re going to be kicked, they decided to make a post claiming that they were leaving for their mental health. A real scumbag move! So that’s two more down.

Okay, not bad, there’s me sure but we still have three people who have cleared and are helping and someone who has done ultimates before. We just have to find people. And we found two fills who…

Had never set foot in even a Savage fight before. To their credit, they improved fast. But yeah we started to hit a desperation spiral especially with the last bits of problems.

We could not find a Physical Ranged DPS to save our lives. The first one we found was a pretty nice guy, was willing to adjust his schedule to meet raid times and even gave us a resource I used to figure out some of the trouble points like Limit Cut. Unfortunately data center travel screwed him over and he decided to leave the group as not to force us to have to play by the whims of sever availability.

Our second was a guy who just lied about his prog. Just outright lied. Pretty much washed the night, refused to get into VC for a significant period of time, and was gone the next night.

Our ‘final’ person was… So you know that kind of person who talks when they get nervous, and just won’t stop talking? The kind you feel bad for because you know it’s them just trying to keep themselves calm but they’re taking up the entire VC and it’s getting a little distracting but you can’t tell them to try to be quiet because you know that’s rude then one pull they just mute and deafen themselves saying ‘it’s okay I understand this I think’ and then they wipe you multiple times because you can’t tell them what to correct in time. And sometimes they say things that makes it feel like maybe it’s not a nervous habit but they’re a really big problem person who’s self-obsessive and the pull is going and you can’t ask for clear comms because you have no idea if they’ll fold in on themselves or reveal they’re a giant asshole who was just waiting for a fight.

So yeah we never had a consistent ranged DPS and by the end we hadn’t even made it past BJCC by our last week. And our last week was. Bad. People not able to make it, clear lack of interest due to knowing we’re not clearing, and PUGs that were the absolute worst kind of player.

We had some very nice, very understanding PUGs. But that last week our PUGs were RANCID.

So unfortunately, all this is to say we didn’t make it. It’s frustrating but hey it was a fun time for the most part and I’m glad I did it. Which begs the question of the most important question in this.

Is it worth it?

It’s.

Complicated.

Don’t get me wrong, I had a lot of fun and enjoyed prog as I got my shit together and started to do better until we reached a kill for the fights. Frankly if you’re just going in to see if you can just get a kill and call it a day 100% go for it.

But thing is, I’m seeing stuff that turned me off of WoW raiding over the years as reclear nights go on. That kind of thing where you have no patience for people or the way you get advice is very clearly passive aggressive tone that makes its way through text.

As said in Black Cat I know this is all pixels. Pretty pixels but pixels nonetheless. And having not really gained much past finding out I have a weird trauma response to being in a leadership position in serious content from playing WoW I really don’t feel like having to deal with the MMO “and now everyone’s at each other’s throats because the one guy who actually fucked up isn’t owning up to it while someone else also fucked up and he’s trying to pin the blame on them.”

Don��t get me wrong, I think I’ll try to keep up with Savage content a bit. Maybe even keep up with TEA to see if I can’t get a clear and to see how funny it is with all the serious raiders more than likely doing FRU. Just seeing that the faces of raiding are more the same as what they were is something I keep thinking on.

Unfortunately, I’ve also become more aware of the XIV hardcore raiding scene. While I’m not a part of that boy howdy. Again. That sounds like every issue the WoW raiding scene has. Like shit man, I wish the worst of this was just people who clearly are too hardcore minded to understand that some things they want are things only they want. Now I’m aware of abuse and harassment constantly happening and man. Man that’s disheartening.

I’m here to play a game and people fuck up sometimes.

Anyways Here’s Some Random Advice

In general

You’ll die on first mechanic

That’s just going to happen. Raidwides that go unmitigated and wipe people, failed firs things. Give yourself the chance to learn and you’ll find fun in it.

Even if you’re a first time player you’ll find there are hardcore raiders worse than you

No seriously some of the worst people in some of my groups were literally sporting their legend weapons and titles trust me some people are just outright bad at the game because they try to act like the content can’t hurt them.

Try to be nice

I’m still mad about that fucking Viper getting snippy I will double the curse I put upon them just to be sure. Ask questions and own up to mistakes, practice parties know they’re not here for a clear.

No one will remember you (positive)

The people who will remember you are bad frankly are saying more about themselves than you. Like everything above, practice and improve and eventually you’ll get it.

And for Ultimate specifically

It’s a marathon, not a race

Expect these to take weeks or months. Yes you’ll see the occasional ‘I cleared x in 5 days’ or something videos but expect, especially if most of your group is learning, to be in it for the long haul.

As time goes on they get ‘easier’

Fun fact I learned: food and potions don’t scale with sync in XIV. This means that as time goes on these buffs become more powerful, and thus allow you some breathing room. No, you will not bullshit tactics BUT you will have some wiggle room with DPS checks and can have some screw ups with shields and such.

Just because someone has the weapon doesn’t mean they’re good

Some of our worst PUGs were people proudly displaying their weapon. Oh, paid legends you’d think yes? No. These people cleared. Multiple times. And they were frequently the reason for wipes due to not knowing their role. Or parsing. I am at a stage where I can honestly say I think parsers are the worst thing to exist in XIV, and I will always prefer grays across the board but a clear over someone greeding us to death.

So there it is. My bizarre journey of trying to see if I still got it, finding out I have a weird trauma response that I think I worked through with what they call exposure therapy (I think I’m not a therapist I don’t know terms), and then failing at an ultimate as I’m forced like a cosmic horror protagonist to see the truth of the World. It’s an experience! Figured the day before FRU was a good a time as any.

Thank you for reading here's my character on a capybara.

[matoyaa]

Another update. I've streamlined (not really) the process for tokens. The tokens are to just make sure that the new DB and new framework in its final stages can handle increased volumes. I also made a form so I don't have to sit in the Party finder 24/7. That being said, all my beta users were erased which sucks but what can you do.

Hoping to post it in the big ffxiv rpers discord sometime this week but probably not right before I take a nap. If you happen to fill out the token request form, give it about 24 hours max before you see an email. (I'm sending them myself).

That being said, I'm just going to give out tokens for the first 15 days of the month, then check to see if i can increase the number of tokens i can give out. If not Will start giving them out again the first of the month.

[realwizardshit]

me: man party finder fucking sucks

my last static: *still as flaky as ever and arguing about schedules and whether people can fuck around in PF outside of raid*

me:

[calowlmitygoddess]

i still really want to farm the shadowbringuer trial mounts cuz dragons, but no one is on duty finder, im scared of party finder cuz people and i cant solo it because i suck ass at this game

[timeless-tactics]

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[blueempty]

Another underwater sky

Been having too many days where I gotta really think about what to post on here cuz all i did was work lol. My friend is talking about putting together a mount farm group for the Endwalker trials in FF14, and I'm hoping that goes well because thats all I've been wanting to do in that game for like a year now. I spent a while today explaining why i never log in anymore and it all boils down to I work every day. I dont have time to wait for people to fill a party finder group and then find out they dont actually know the fight and then look for new people. Like I dont know if my friends realize that on days where we do that it takes like 4 to 6 hours sometimes and thats like twice as much free time as i have on a work night. On the weekend thats all of my free time. So if we can get some competent people who are up to item level I will genuinely solo heal some of those if it means we can clear those fights faster. Ive been playing almost exclusively single player games or playing multiplayer games alone for a while now because I cant commit time to anything with other people usually. And I'm reeeally trying to draw more and reeeeally trying not to let work suck out my creative juices

Ive also got gooner brain rn and I was looking at a bunch of anime girl switch games I cant buy and its got me wanting to make a fantasy RPG or manga but idk how to do either of those things hehe

Tonights night pic is not the sky but its exciting because the new managment at work turned on the fucking street light that the old managment turned off because they didnt want us skating in the parking lot for 5 minutes after work every night

Fuck you Donnie!!!!!!

Peace and Long Life

[afniel]

We cleared everything by week 2 (sort of; half of us did some overtime attempts right before weekly reset with the other half being one friend of theirs and three randoms from party finder). I kinda love these idiots (affectionate)? Like, yes, at a first read you'd assume the vibes must be rancid, but they're just nice guys/gals (it's a mix actually! You wouldn't assume that either) that have learned a particular style of trash talk. And yeah, it's not a great style, but it's whatever, it's not as pronounced once you get to know them, and I'd rather hang out with people who haven't figured out the vocab but are legitimately nice than people who talk perfectly and never say anything Problematic but suck to be around.

I honestly kinda wonder if it's not this group initially being edgy as a defense mechanism against what if I was the edgy shitty one? They wouldn't know that from the start, but once everyone got a better read on me and the other people they picked up via recruitment Discord, it calmed the hell down very quickly.

The internet is just full of things, isn't it? I've never blown through a raid tier this fast or with this little stress in my life. Shit's wild.

The dichotomy of the internet is such that I've joined a raid group in FFXIV (via a LFG type Discord, so I don't know anybody in it from anywhere else) where everyone is chill and supportive and friendly and helpful and competent, and nobody's said anything about my voice being kinda femme or openly having he/they pronouns and they've gotten them right every single time, and also there's a guy whose Discord nickname is "commit kys" and one of the roles has the R slur for mentally disabled people and someone put their Discord profile pronouns as "Apache attack helicopter," and these are literally all the same people at the same time.

SHRUG. If it sucks, I can leave after this tier, and hopefully we'll clear quickly enough that if it does suck I won't be there super long. And if it doesn't actually suck, cool.