#partially because i honestly dont know if id even have gotten here if i had (and i think maybe i wouldnt have)

[doctorwhoisadhd]

augh :(

[theloveinc]

this is v v random and you dont have to answer if you dont want to bc it IS personal, but i wanted to ask abt ur experience on wellbutrin? in terms of like, getting energy or feeling tired, sleepy? im worried about it making me sleepy/tired/brain fog (im 26 n BUSY as heck) again, dont have to answer at all, just asking bc i know youre quite open n honest on stuff so i thought id give it a shot and ask about your experience n like. ur pros & cons if thats okay. anyways thank u lub u legend bye <3

🥺Legend, of course u can ask!! I'm probably not the best choice, given I've only been on it since early June (and some people, much longer)... but honestly, in terms of brain fog and sleep... I have had almost literally NO issues and am all positive reviews here (...kinda).

One of the reasons I was prescribed it actually was for excessive sleepiness and brain fog (I get horrible, horrible brain fog normally and I have for years.)... and even though the results have been somewhat inconsistent since I've switched dosages like three times (and was off for a bit), literally it's helped SOOOOO much.

Obviously, people's reactions are going to be different, a moot (who I can tag but don't want to like... expose)(edit: @ace-of-books in the replies of this post!!!) on here told me Wellbutrin actually keeps her awake to the point where she needs mild sedatives to sleep... but I've honestly found I have no trouble actually going to sleep once I actually decide to (I like to use my phone in bed so I partially blame some sleep issues on that, but... you know) and waking up has gotten way, WAY easier.

(Also, with my new dosage, I take it twice a day and it's the NON-time release pills, and I've noticed that actually I haven't been as tired getting into bed usually... but someone told me this would go away once I fully adjusted AND I didn't have that problem on the time released capsules I took initially. Also it could just be that I've been taking a lot of naps at 8pm LMAOOO AND it doesn't actually bother me since the brain fog has been very reduced! *skips and jumps and claps feet together like a little leprechaun*🤩🤩🤩)

So yeah. More issues with... not being able to sleep than with being sleepy in the daytime. Thought when I was taking my more concentrated dose, if I had caffeine with it, things would get a little WoOoOooooOOOOooo funny🤡!!! at first.

As for cons... it's so funny because when I switched dosages the first time, I was like "omg these pills suck they stopped working after like, a month..." THAT WAS NOT TRUE LMAOOO. I HAD JUST GOTTEN USED TO THEM, and when I moved on to a higher dosage (150mg once a day to 150 TWICE a day🥶😨😱), I literally went insane (crying over mild inconveniences IN PUBLIC. I could think too hard and I would cry. Keep me awake over anxiety literally non-stop type insane).

And then, when I subsequently stopped taking them and it faded(?) from my system, it became very clear I actually was... worse off without them and I was extremely happy to go back on

I could always get used to it again, but right now I feel GREAT and literally kind of spring out of bed when I need to be up. No more lazing about waiting for my mind to work, it just does for the most part.

(Though I do get tired in the day because my schedule is awful, and also still crave sleeping a lot when I am in bed, it's just when I do wake + get up the adjustment period from sleepy time to being awake is almost... instant. So that, I would say, is fantastic).

ANYWHOOOO, this is kind of a long-winded answer that I answered sort of... backwards (talking about lack of sleep vs. excessive sleep), but... my experience has been so positive, even despite the dosage changes and the fact that it obviously hasn't cured my depression entirely. I just haven't had any issues with it making me tired at all, and it's FIXED my brainfog, which I guess is the answer to your question!

BUT, and I'm just gonna say this for legal reasons cuz I'm sure you already know, talk to your doctor/a medical professional first before making any decisions! Don't base taking it entirely off of ME because I also know people who experienced nothing positive on Wellbutrin at all. Not me, tho. But that can be common.

Thanks for reading this all (and being sooo sweet I lub you too + am kissing you), if you did! And no worries if you didn't, but good luck with whatever ends up happening!💕💕💕

[spootiliousrps]

Fluffy/Angst Ineffable Husbands

Stranger: Aziraphale jumped, a bit spooked as the doors to his book shop slammed open, only to reveal Crowley on the other side as he strode in. Aziraphale sighed, scrambling to organize his paper and books before he stood up. "Crowley, the book shop is closed. Why are you here?" He walked  past his friend, giving him a small forced smile before closing the doors of his shop before anyone else came in thinking they were open. He turned back towards Crowley. "Is everything okay? Do you need something?"

You: "No, angel it bloody isn't." Crowley retorted as he stormed through the room to the other side of the shop. He didn't even pause to glance back at the Angel as he dug in one of the cabinets where he knew Aziraphale kept his good liquor. "I need a drink. That's what I need." He answered a bit animatedly as he poured a large glass and a small second to be handed to Aziraphale.

Stranger: As he saw Crowley storming away, Aziraphale began to worry, following his friend to the other side of his shop as Crowley poured them both a glass. Aziraphale didnt feel like drinking amything for the time being, but he said thank you as Crowley handed it over to him. He tried to study Crowleys face, trying to figure out whats wrong. "Whats wrong, my dear? Has something happened? Does involve Heaven and Hell?" He hoped it didnt. "Why dont we sit down and relax." He tried to motion to the couch but wasnt sure if Crowley was going to actually sit down. He was just so worried about what was troubling the other. He didnt like it when Crowley was upset.

You: Crowley shook his head at the offer of sitting, brushing it off completely as he threw back his drink and began pouring another. "This is partially your fault, you know." He accused. "You let me encourage you into helping me so often..." He huffed, tossing another back and refilling. "Maybe if I wasn't so good at being bad... No, no... I wouldn't be a Demon if that was the case." He rambled seeming to talk to himself more than Aziraphale. He turned, leaning against the small table as he gestured as he spoke, his drink sloshing a bit as he waved it about. "And where has that gotten me? Hm?! Everywhere everyone else wants to be! But not me angel! Not me!"

Stranger: Aziraphale grew more worried and the look of confusion washed over his features. He watched his friend down a few more drinks and planned to step in and stop him from drinking another if he poured hiself another drink. Aziraphale set his glass to the side and stepped closer to Crowley trying to get the other man to foxua. "Crowley, whats the problem? Youre mumbling, dear, and I dont understand whats going on. Did I do something wrong?" He said deflating a bit, worried that he was the one to get Crowley in trouble because of the accusations. "Whats gotten you so worked up?"

You: Crowley hesitated, his frown deepening at the sound of Aziraphale's concerns. Still he seemed to calm when the Angel was near. He lifted a hand giving a lazy wave of dismiss at the question. "No, angel... You didn't do anything." He sighed, deflating a bit. Still he paused, scrubbing a hand down his face. "Its Hell..." He began, peering down at the liquid in his glass and swirling it a bit. "They... Well... They want to give me a promotion." He explained.

Stranger: Aziraphale relaxed a bit at the same time as he saw Crowley calming greatly. He shifted his feet and gave another confused look. He tilted his head a bit, trying tovthink of a way to cheer up Crowley. "Isnt a promotion a good thing? Or does that mean something different in Hell? Still, I congratulate you." He chose his next words carefully. "For being an amazing troublemaker for Hell, you really are quite . . generous." He clasped hia hands together, knowing that was another word for Crowley being a kind person.

You: Crowley, so distraught with his own news either didn't seem to notice the compliment or chose to ignore it. "No... No! You don't get it, angel!" He huffed pushing away from the counter and began pacing in front of the fire place. "I'm already a /Duke/ of Hell." He reminded shaking his head. "How much higher do you think I can go?" He asked, arching his brows as if the answer was obvious. Above a Duke there were only two titles: Prince and King... and in Hell... They were the same Rank and only one being held it currently. Satan himself. What most beings didn't realize is that Satan was the name of the first Devil... Since then he had been dethroned twice usually violently, and replaced by another of the original fallen Angels. As of six months prior the last Prince of Darkness, King of Demons, Ruler of Hell had been dethroned leaving the position... available.

Stranger: He watched his friend move frantically and Aziraphale unconsciously took a step towards himcwanting to calm down, but froze when the realization of what Crowley was saying hit him. He looked away from Crowley, not wanting to show the saddness he was feeling to Crowlwy. Usually when someone is promoted higher then Duke in both Heaven or Hell, they usually stay in Heaven or Hell on occasion and the thought of Crowley going to Hell and staying there forever hit him like he had been stabbed in the heart. "Oh. . . .well, you really are a good Demon, arent you?" He gave a small forced smile. "If you get your promotion, will you have to stay in Hell? Is the weight of controlling all of one side worrying you?" He shiftes his feet, glancing at Crowley. "Do you even want to be Prince?"

You: Crowley shook his head, downing his glass once more and giving a sigh. "Angel... I didn't even want to be a /Demon/." He reminded. "It just sort of... Happened! As for staying in Hell..." He slammed his glass down on the table next to Aziraphale's reading chair before sauntering over to the sofa and collapsing onto it. "I'd be forced to... Maybe even indefinitely. A few centuries to be sure... With a new ruler... everything has to be changed, coups diverted... Demons to behead... /Paperwork/ to be done." He shuddered at the thought.

Stranger: Aziraphale nodded, watching his friend flop onto the couch. "Yes, I know. You are good at your job, but you are not evil." He ealked over to his glass that he had not drunken and miracled the drink back away before he took the glass and put it away. He walked back over to Crowley standing at the edge of thw sofa and chuckled lightly. "Yes, oh how could anything be as bad as /paperwork/? Youll have so muxh to do, youll never have time to do the things you like. Thats why I was happy to be a soldier and not a leader. Earth is home now and I dont want to see you go, Crowley." He said, he face growing a light red as he moved to sit in his chair. He had never convinced to ever missing Crowley.

You: "/You/ don't want to see me go?" Crowley scoffed, throwing his hands up into the air. "/I/ don't want to see me go!" He retorted. "What am I suppose to do in Hell? Torture people! Boring! I give it a year and I'll be ready to bathe in Holy Water just to have something to do!" He scoffed. "Not to mention Beelzabub! He's going to be up my arse the whole time and while I'm usually not opposed to something like that I'll pass thanks!" He scoffed. "But I don't know what to do! I can't refuse, I'll be destroyed!"

Stranger: Aziraphale gave him a sympathetic look, not sure how to help his friwnd. "No I dont. And I can see how Hell can be boring. I wouldnt want ro do any of those duties, niether would I want to do Heavens." His eyes went a little wide at Crowley inappropriate remark, and he blushed. "Crowley! You language sometimes, I swear." Then an idea stuck him. "What if you tried to covince the people and Demons of Hell to choose another peraon? Or you started doing some Heavenly things? Or did something thats against Hell?"

You: Crowley shook his head almost immediately at the suggestions, though he seemed to hesitate a bit at the last. "There is no one else, angel... The Angels that fell with me have all perished... Its just me now... Thats one of the reasons I decided to stay here on Earth. Even if I decided to do something Heavenly it is written in the law of Hell that a Fallen /must/ be the one to sit on the throne. I could gain my sainthood and still be forced to rule." He sighed. "The only way to change that would be to have the current ruler rewrite the laws but there is no current ruler. Which is why the issue is here to begin with!" He huffed in frustration.

Stranger: Aziraphale sighed, out of ideas. He moved his hands to his lap and folded them, fiddling with his fingers. "Then when you are ruler, why dont you just change the rules? Give the spot over to somone else or kepp it but allow yourself to move around freely?" He looked over to Crowley. "Its all so frustrating. We shouldnt have to worry about any of this stuff when we have been stationed onto Earth."

You: "But thats just it, angel... I'm in this situation /because/ of being stationed on Earth." He sighed, sinking down across the cushions. "I wouldn't be in this position if I had been down there. I'd be dead by now. Honestly that sounds like the better deal at the moment." He huffed. "Maybe I'll just return to my transform and hide among your books for the rest of eternity." He suggested, shifting into a small grass snake and curling up on himself as if to emphasis that he was serious.

Stranger: Aziraphale gave another saddened look, realizing Crowley had no way out of it. "Oh please dont think of Death as an option. I dont like that idea." Then he gave a small smile, amused. "My dear, even if Id allow that, and I would, they would come searching for you and once they find out you have been hidding away with your opposition, an /Angel/, trouble is bound to happen." He always thought Crowley as a snake was adorable. He was always so graceful and beautiful as a snake.

You: Snake Crowley gave a small hushed hiss in response, slithering in between the cushions until the only thing left that was visible was his small snout. Aziraphale was probably right though, Crowley could always argue he had 'tempted' an Angel which was more than any of those bastards could manage. Though it still wouldn't stop his promotion. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place and the only thing he wanted to do was curl up and sleep for the next few centuries.

Stranger: Aziraphale smiled at Crowley, watching as he moved into his sofa only leaving his snout to be seen. And as Crowley thought, he probably had "tempted" an Angel. The Angel never wanted to leave Crpwleys side and the friendship that had been grown of the last 6000 years made him happy, even if they were hereditary enemies. "Would you like me to just leave you alone for now? You can stay there. I was actually planning on openning the bookshop again. Its bewn awhile."

You: "HSSSsss." Crowley retorted harshly, obviously not liking the idea. No, he was probably about to get taken away from his only friend... He wanted to spend every second he could with the man. Still, his snout disappeared in the cushions and for a moment the were nudged this way and that as Crowley slithered beneath them. He slid from the sofa, onto the floor and up the back of the Angel's chair before sliding across his shoulder's lazily.

Stranger: Aziraphale agreed with Crowley, not actually wanting to open his shop or leave the other alone. "Youre right. Im not going to, a few weeks ago these parwnts came in and let their kid walk around with his grubby little hands. It was rather bothersome and spoiled my good mood." He watched as Crowley slide under the cushions and then onto the floor, watching him gracefully slither over to his chair and begin to slide along his shoulders. He didnt mind, but it always made him happy to have Crowley so close to him, no matter what form he was in. He did get nervous from time to time, but Aziraphale just focused on Crowley on his shoulder, sadly thinking this might be the last time they talked or did this.

You: Crowley didn't reply. Technically he could speak in this form though his voice usually came out slurred and muffled, but he rare did. He much rather simply listen to the Angel speak. He moved to wrap himself loosely around the man's neck, pressing his face against the pulse of Aziraphale's heart beat. He would never admit this to the Angel but he enjoyed this form most if only to give him an excuse to be pressed against the man. After all, snakes needed heat, generated from a body or otherwise.

Stranger: As Crowley wrapped himself lightly around his neck, Aziraphale thought. Trying to think of a qay to save his friend, but could think of nothing. He gave a sad smile, trying not to move his neck to much to mess with Crowley. Eventually, he whispered, "My dear, I wish you could stay." He didnt like the way he voice cracked a bit and cleared his throat, trying to ignore what he just said. "You can stay here for as long as you want but you can not run. WE can not run. I am glad that

Stranger: You are good enough to be King, but I wish ut disnt come at the price of never coming to Earth again."

You: Crowley was practically a statue as they sat in the silent warmth as each other's company. He allowed his eyes to drift closed as if he were sleeping but listened to the words closely. He gave a small hissing sigh as the words. The sound of Aziraphale's voice cracking broke his heart. "I... am ssssorry... angel." He managed in his soft snake voice, pressing his face closer to the other man's skin. "I will.... missssssss you." He admitted, though he would loathe to. He hated admitting weaknesses, especially feelings.

You: *was loathe

Stranger: Even Crowley was not moving, he knew the other man was not sleeping or not listening. As Crowley spoke, he gave a smile, happy that he was not the only one to miss the other. "No need to be sorry. It is not your fault. I will miss you as well." He stayed silent for a moment, enjoying the feeling of Crowley on his neck. He gave a small chuckle. "I would hug you right now but you not in human form." He moved a hand up and hesitantly move a few fingers on the spine of the snake, not sure if Crowley was okay with ir. He neq it was hard for cRowley to show weakness, but he appreciates it.

Stranger: Even if*

You: On a typical day Crowley might have pulled away with a hiss... Today, however, he didn't even hesitate to press into the touch. He lifted his body to slide it against the softness of Aziraphales fingers almost cat like. He had to pull his head back from where it rested and make his way to the Angel's other shoulder to keep from sliding down his front however, since he currently had no way to catch himself. He did, however wrap his small tail around the man's pinky, almost affectionately; as if they were holding hands.

Stranger: Aziraphale smiled, happy that Crowley was okay with it and curved his pinky a bit so he could hold onto Crowleys tail. "I know you dont like me saying this, but your truly are a nice person. Even if we are not on each others 'sides' ou have helped me a lot. I wish you luck in Hell, He voice became a littlw harsher when he spoke again. "And if you ever, ever, think of killing yourself because hell is boring, promise me you wont do it. Just run up here and say hello because there is a difference between dead and being in Hell and I dont like it. You are welcome here anytime."

Stranger: His voice*

Stranger: (Do you have wattpad or tumblr that we could continue this on?)

You: [I don't I'm afraid. I tend to just use email or specific omegle tags]

Stranger: (Email is fine too)

Stranger: (Im c******************@gmail.com)

You: [Log and reply send :3]

Stranger: (Okay)

Stranger: (Theres a problem sorry. I cant respond right now my phones not letting me log in. We can still continue on here for a bit if you want too)

You: [Thats perfectly fine. No worries ;3]

You: A hissing chuckle escaped the small snake as he ducked behind Aziraphale's head and worked his way atop it, enjoying the feel of the blond locks tickling his stomach as he did so. He knew visiting Earth would be near impossible and yet... "Promisssse." He replied against his better judgment.

Stranger: Aziraphale tilted his head a bit away at first but soon realized what Crowley was trying to do and a small shiver went down his spine as he felt Crowley move through his hair. "Good. You find a way to get back on Earth to visit sometime or Ill come down there myself." He half-joked, not aure if he would risk doing that just to see Crowley.

You: The snake gave a snort... At least as close to one as a snake could get. Either way it was obvious that he didn't believe the Angel. The sentiment wasn't lost, however; he appreciated what Aziraphale was trying to do. The thought was too painful though and he slowly began to remove himself, heading for the floor once more, untangling himself from the other man.

Stranger: He dropped his hand and helped the other glide to the floor, only a bit saddened that they were no longer touching. He smiled a the little snort, "You dont believe me? I will. If I or you really want me too." He gave small chuckle. "You are probably right not to believe me."

You: Crowley was silent as he climbed back onto the sofa and shifted back into his humanoid form, lounging across the cushions. "It's not that I don't think you would go to Hell, angel. Knowing you, you'd causually throw open the doors and chide the guards for not bothering to greet you properly. Give them a good tongue lashing about their manners. No... I believe you would... I'm more worried about you surviving it." He admitted with a shrug, entangling his fingers as he rested his hands behind his head.

Stranger: He faked offense, giving a small gasp. "I would not, I know /some/demons have manners, unlike you dear." He teased, glancing over Crowleys body to prove his point. Crowley was lounging, notnsitting up straight or proper, but lounging. "And I am not always like that." He gave a small smilw berfore letting it drop. "You dont think I would survive Hell? Well, Id have you to help me stay safe." He pointed out

You: Crowley chuckled at that. "Thats not what I meant, angel." He mused lightly. "I know you. If a single Demon even thought about harming you I'd have to destroy them. Which would mean destroying every one that you came in contact with. I've seen how upset you can get seeing any creature harmed, even a Demon." He pointed out, arching a brow as he peered through his dark glasses as if daring the Angel to challenge him. "You'd blame yourself and I can't have you doing that now can I?"

Stranger: Aziraphale frowned. "No. I dont want that. Someone should only be harmed if its the last case scenario. Sure a Demons job is to tempt but if they havent hurt anyone, then they should not be harmed, even if they are quite rude." He gave Crowley a challenging look back. "I suppose I would, so no. And I dont think youd find it very fun to have to destroy a demon." Aziraphale crossed his legs, getting more comfortable.

You: Crowley seemed to take no offense to the jabs the Angel dished out, only gave a tight smile of amusement as he propped his feet up on the arm of the couch. "I wouldn't. Too much paperwork." He admitted, though the paperwork was a bit of a stretch. He just didn't care for killing in general. HE had always found it pointless. He was quite for a moment, smile fading into a small frown. "You know neither of those options are likely possible." He sighed. "Once I'm promoted... Theres no escaping it.... I'll be stuck down there...."

Stranger: Aziraphale made a small face as Crowley propped his feet up on the edge of the couch, but ignored it so hee could focus on what Crowley was saying. He held back an eyerole and smiled, but frowned a bit as Crowley continued. "And I have stay up here. We are both stuck apart and might never see each other again." The thought of that hurt Azitaphale and so he stood up, moving to a stack of books not so far from the couch and his chair so he could straightencthem. Giving him something to do.

You: Crowley was thankful, not for the first time, that his shades were dark enough to hide the pain in his gaze. He watched Aziraphale stand and busy himself before he pushed to his feet as well, moving back to the liquor cabinet to pour him another drink. "I can't argue with the truth." He mumbled to himself. "Though... Its not the way I saw this happening... Six thousand years and we're sepperated by something as simple as a promotion." He huffed with a shake of his head before tossing back his drink.

Stranger: Aziraphale moved to another pile, straightening it as well as he glance over to Crowley to watch him pour himself a drink. "No. No one can. We just try and hide from it though but that never works." He gabe a fond smile thinking of all their talks, even the arguments. "I never thought we were going to be separated, if we are being honest here. Stand by each others sides at the beginning, die or live by each others sides at the end." He gave the other man a smile.

You: Crowley laughed at that. "What, like an old married couple?" He teased lightly. "No, Heaven and Hell would have discovered our arrangement soon or later and put an end to it... At least... Thats what I had expected." He sighed. "Though..." He began softly, voice barely hiding a wave of emotion. "That does sound rather... nice." He admitted.

Stranger: Aziraphale chuckled, he guessed it did sound like a plot from one of the many romance novels that he has read. "Well, I suppose, even if thats sounds silly." He shoke his head remembering the time a human had told him that he was better off without him, like they had just broken up. "I have only run into a few that think we are datinf or married, but that was not what I was meaning in a way but it makes sense." He shook hus head. "Thats also why I said die by each others sides. I would assume that someone would figure us out and Im sure we would be just punished, my dear." He froze a bit as he was straightening some more books and looked up at Crowley when he heard the emotion. " Yes. It would be. Very much."

Stranger: Wouldnt be*

You: Crowley studied the Angel's features, trying to gauge his reaction. The man was so expressive as it was it should all be written on his face and yet Crowley always had to focus to read him. Perhaps it was simply because he had grown so acustom to it. "I mean... I of course, wouldn't be opposed to spending the rest of my existence with you." He shrugged as if it were nothing to talk about. Just a mere fact, as if he were stating the weather.

[homestucky]

ok ok this is like not anything new but still since i havent been on here i havent fully ranted about this yet. big long rant incoming

re the epilogue (spoilers etc)

ok. i have onl y read meat. but fucking? dirk? dirk? ok? dirk??

no.

i am aware of what happens in candy. i know he dies.

i also know in the version i read, in meat, he becomes his ultimate self, all versions of dirk. as many people have said, this includes AR, this includes bro, this includes even to some degree, LE. its an interesting idea ill give you that. but its also.... shitty and not backed enough by well, anything?

so heres my personal rant about the shitty things in Meat.

when i first finished it i couldnt help but think. was the dirk narrative even necessary? on the one hand it was meant to be the MAIN PLOT and it defined the narration etc, but.... it honestly didnt seem to have any importance. i know it was likely  a set up to imply future stuff like making the next sburb or whatever but like

who CARES? why on earth would that be interesting or important? maybe im crazy but like, the ‘b plot’ which was mostly about character relationships and jobs in earth c, was compelling and enjoyable. the narrative with john ‘not important and not the main character anymore’ egbert had details and conclusions ACTUALLY RELATING TO HOMESTUCK, THE COMIC I LIKE AND WANTED TO READ AN EPILOGUE FOR. it was tragic and frankly very upsetting! im not saying i liked it!! but the tragedy felt compelling and significant. 

i appreciate that dirk as narrator IS BIASED so him saying that these narratives are less important is inherently like. not to be trusted but. just. i cant help but feel like you could have cut the whole ‘main dirk reality affecting’ narrative OUT 

and that seems to me maybe like... not good? if such a central part of your narrative has almost no bearing on homestuck or anything anyone cares about?

but im sure there are other people who found it compelling and necessary. thats fair. cant relate but you do you. there are other issues. 

me saying that the dirk narrative felt weirdly isolated and insignificant sounds pretty weird given that it put jade into a coma, manipulated kanayas mind, effectively killed rose and destroyed rosemary right? WELL that brings me on to the next thing. people have noted that meat barely passes the bechdel test. and hey, sometimes things like that can just be a coincidence or unlucky. but the repeated erasure of the female characters minds, motives, identities and autonomy was????  a little too consistent to dismiss. like ok terezi was still her dope self in a lot of ways. jane kinda did some stuff (under dirks direction, and only shitty stuff but . whatever). 

(sidebar: ofc it doesnt make sense to talk about calliope and roxy in the context of the female characters in Meat but either way they were very in the background. like cool an all, and i always love roxy. and i respect they were mostly just minding their own businesses??? which is fair)

 i just. urgh. homestuck has such a genuinely good track record of giving female characters genuine motivations and powerful abilities etc. the fact that almost ALL the female characters involved were working for or manipulated by DIRK. DIRK of all people. is like... is this even based off the real comic? idgi????

roses loss of autonomy.... rose is such an important character. and she goes along with everything dirk says because dirk is suddenly all OP and ‘theyre basically the same person anyway’ like i get that there was some magic bullshit going on or whatever but at the end of the day rose was still written as weak and passive. dirk as strong and skilled and decisive. i get the undertones.. hes a prince of heart. a destroyer of souls, and identities. he messed with kanayas identity , destroyed roses, repeatedly ignored roxys and calliopes, and god i wont even get started on jake yet. but that doesnt make it satisfying to read. or even really feasible.

so theres a possibility im missing something. but im confused about WHY dirk is allowed this power. in the narrative its waved off as a kind of ‘i guess because im like a prince of heart or whatever and im just super good at managing identities and being a strong boy’ like ok if theres some implication somewhere that that is MEANT to be a bogus explanation id be interested to know because it sounds pretty goddamn bogus. why would this happen to dirk? why? literally? one reason? one that makes sense? because there arent any i can think of. why, in the new universe, would dirk, a prince of heart, manifest into a narrative controlling supergod. and fucking WHEN has dirk showed any actual capabilities in this area before?? he KINDA sucked at it in the game. dirks an idiot! hes smart and capable in like, some ways but. its like

why is dirk so powerful suddenly -> its because hes become super ultimate dirk -> ... ok why -> uh because like. hes just so naturally inclined towards being a great manipulator yknow..... canonically.... uhhhh

it just. canon dirk to epilogue dirk is the most ridiculous leap character wise, skill wise, arc wise, personality wise, with minimal reasonable explanation. 

which brings me on to the next thing. so i roasted dirk and said he wasnt strong enough to be able to manipulate things this well. well, obviously through some other means dirk HAS been afforded this power. but what about his personality? its obviously gonna be warped with self importance and knowing how things ‘have to be’. but hes heartless, cruel and hateful. in some ways it seems like canon dirk levels of ruthlessness, especially when it shows that he is actually doing something dumb and petty like his treatment of jake. that shows that he STILL has emotional connection to people as dirk. he also seems to care about some people, like dave and roxy, and cracks jokes and wants to have ‘fun’. this makes the ways in which hes so warped and cruel seem even worse. maybe on the one hand im giving dirk too much credit, everyone knows he has the potential to be a real bastard. but i dont think that was the trajectory he was on when we last saw him. and if this is truly due to him just.. becoming other versions of himself too including LE and bro and stuff..like. i dont see how it could have gotten that bad without say, roxy or dave noticing. 

‘oh they didnt notice because hes just so good at hiding’ why on earth would i believe that!! dave especially this is kinda insulting for. dave is shown to have an almost supernatural ability to detect danger. partially this might be timeline stuff, knight stuff, but also notably im sure his upbringing is involved too. he was trained to be hypervigilant. who was he trained to be hypervigilant for? bro. bros manipulation and traps. near the end of the epilogue we show that dave IS capable of detecting the mindfuckery thats happening. how would that not set off 1 million alarm bells? theres literally apparently a twisted dirk-bro mutant INSIDE HIS HEAD telling him what to do. i just. know that scene was played for comedy and romance but at the very least thats gotta like???? mess with u if ur traumatised? and thats like , why i think dave should have had an inkling abt what was going on!! this is exactly the thing he hates and fears and was traumatised by! and it just going under his nose n him not even knowing , and still pretty recently being all buddy buddy with dirk seems just stupid and infeasible to me. maybe this is me being naive or kind of a stretch but i just feel like daves danger instincts would have been kicking up a whole assed ruckus that whole time. 

also kind of unrelated but i associate sunglasses with strider style toxic masculinity and hiding things so like. ok transitioning or changing gender presentation is one thing but roxy apparently permanently wearing sunglasses makes me NERVOUS

and ill probably wrap up this mighty rant soon but i wanna also say jake was done so fucking dirty. i know he was like, meant to be, because for some reason god dirk just hated him? like ok petty much. but. urgh jake is such an interesting character with a lot of potential and while i appreciate that him being manipulated by someone who may reasonably have a problem with him may make him do stupid and embarrassing stuff, all the narrative seems to have taken a backward step in how hes represented. jake isnt stupid, dirk clearly knew this in canon and he maybe was the only one even including jake. and there was some acknowledgement of this near the beginning of the epilogue. but then for some reason it goes back on itself. everyone still thinks jake is just completely stupid, including the embittered superdirk. so yeah i guess hes upset with jake or whatever but. its still dissatisfying to be like oh yeah jake isnt stupid he actually has a complex set of motivations and potential etc BUT over the X number of yrs on earth c no one else has realised this yet?? hmm. then his narrative is just gonna end up with him being a total joke and essentially becomes as stupid and incompetent as his worst critics say he is. feasible given the mind control ? yeah. enjoyable to read or having any kind of satisfying bearing on anything? nope!

so anyway. i feel like any criticism i have could be argued back with ‘but oh it has to be this way’ or ‘mind control!!’ or ‘not everything has to be nice and happy !!’ but like. dude. there are flaws. many of them. and seeing characters just get shat on is never gonna be good writing. 

[pavlovers]

some time ago @britneyshakespeare tagged me in a couple of those things where you bold the one you prefer so im finally gonna sit down and just knock them both out in one post. merci diana <3

honey and lemon or milk and sugar 

musicals or plays

lemonade or iced tea

why would i choose when snapple’s pink lemonade and raspberry iced tea flavors both exist in peaceful harmony like that

strawberries or raspberries

winter or summer

both can be somewhat lonely. at least one doesn’t give me chronic sleep deprivation

beaches or forests

diners or cafés 

i barely am up early enough to frequent either

unicorns or dragons

not really sensing a strong opinion brewing forth on either. y'know ill just pick dragons because jane and the dragon was a cool show growing up even if the animation was a tad atrocious

gemstones or crystals

who cares theyre both just cool rocks

hummingbirds or owls

kinda arbitrary but eh. at least one doesnt throw up bones for you to dissect in elementary school

fireworks or sparklers

both fine, just dont get them near me because ive got sort of an irrational fear of getting burned

brunch or happy hour

sweet or sour

ive never gotten the hype behind sour candies like. why are sour patch kids so popular??? theyre just gummy candies with shitty tasting salt on them. 

Rome or Amsterdam

oh idk. im quite partial to Paris myself

classic or modern art

the only art medium i frequently and consistently consume is probably music and well.. you don't really see me getting down to classical music unless i need "claude debussy - CLAIRE DE LUNE (5 HOUR LOOP)" to help me focus on studying. i mostly listen to stuff post-1950s, really none of which i would consider "classic art".

sushi or ramen

sun or moon

polka dots or stripes

ill finally come into my own once i obtain a pair of flared striped pants

macaroons or croissants

glitter or matte

ive no preference on the shininess of most surfaces

Degas or Seurat

my art history knowledge is just too limited for this

aquariums or planetariums

fish r cool 🐠 my middle school had a planetarium but im pretty it was long broken before i ever got there

road trip or camping trip

if i ever stop becoming completely exhausted after a mere 45 minutes of driving then yes, id love to do a road trip someday

colouring books or watercolour

fairy lights or candles

well i just straight up dont own fairy lights. and i barely use candles for aesthetic purposes

and here commences the 2nd one:

coffee or tea

i really don’t like either as hot beverages but yeah,, iced tea >> iced coffee

early bird or night owl

although ap season is approaching and that really requires you to be both honestly

chocolate or vanilla

spring or fall

nothing against spring weather wise i just am not at ALL excited for testing rn tbh

silver or gold

pop or alternative

i think both of those genres tend to overlap a lot these days so i really couldn’t say i have a stronger preference for one than the other. they both have their respective great and not-so-great moments

freckles or dimples

i have neither but they’re both v cute on others! :)

snakes or sharks

hmm ive pet both and snakes feel really cool while shark skin can like?? cut you if youre not careful so

mountains or fields

civilization?

thunderstorm or lightning

well yknow one’s loud and scary sounding and the other just makes a little light streak across the sky

egyptian mythology or greek mythology

honestly i just wasnt a mythology kid growing up

ivory or scarlet

flute or lyre

eyes or lips

mostly because i can draw the former a lot better than the latter

witch or fairy

opal or diamond

i just looked up opal on google images and honestly those things look way cooler than diamonds 

butterflies or honeybees

nothing against bees! just have a really strong fear of them because when i was a kid i had a bee crawl into my ear and sting me on 2 separate occasions and ive never really gotten over it

macarons or eclairs

typewritten or handwritten

just for convenience’s sake and the fact that i am not my handwriting’s biggest fan

secret garden or secret library

god that would be my 9 year old self’s DREAM,, creeping in there late at night and falling asleep in an oversized office chair with a leather bound copy of the grimm's fairy tales wide open on a big mahogany desk

rooftop or balcony

spicy or mild

opera or ballet

london or paris

vincent van gogh or claude monet

im only familiar with a few of either’s works so i guess its not up to me to say

denim or leather

potions or spells

its like basically the same thing except you get to drink something out of a strange funky little bottle

ocean or desert

would prefer to not be dying due to severe temperature extremes

mermaid or siren

masquerade ball or cocktail party

not that i’d attend either but showing up somewhere in the most decadent ball gown and have no one know who the fuck you are sounds pretty ideal

umm ill tag @curebian @britishsixtiesbeat @johnwettons @dalliscar and @villarosie if any of them feel like doing either one (or both) of the tag games.