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stateside-careers · 5 months ago

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nickyminhaz · 1 year ago

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bedlamsbard · 3 months ago

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it sucks that your mom is so mean to you :/

I think it's not exactly that she's being mean, but usually when she sees me in my own environment (rather than me visiting my parents) she's seeing me in really high stress situations, where I have a short fuse. Though to be fair, I'm really high strung at the best of times, and at the worst of times it's...worse. Anyone who's dealt with me IRL in high stress situations, like cons or Disney trips, can back this up. I will very seldom really lose it at a stranger, but the better I know someone the more likely I am to snap. I think with both me and my mother we get really frustrated when something that seems obvious to us isn't obvious to someone else, I'm just more likely to snap and she's more likely to start overexplaining until I snap. We also have some qualities that aren't really compatible -- like, I am a "think out loud" person, which tends to make her think I'm asking for advice and I'm usually not, just working things through in my own head. There is also some culture and generational clash. (My mother is Japanese and I'm American, boomer vs millennial, etc.) I love my mother and of my parents, she's the one I actually have a functional relationship with, but there is a reason I live on the other side of the country and am happy calling often, but don't visit much.

#also to be fair as a graduate student my entire life for more than a decade has been a high stress situation #so compiling further high stress situations on top of that like moving or taxes or cohabiting makes it way way worse #there are reasons I live alone and at the top of the list is that I don't really function well around other people #yes I AM an only child who grew up in the country with one parent there one part-time absent parent (my dad) (whole other issue)#this whole Thing has actually made me feel better about not getting the uw job because yeah it might have been one of the #best classics jobs in the country for the 23-24 cycle but I would have been in the same state as my parents #which felt like a good idea from the perspective of someone who hasn't been home in almost two years but there's a reason for that lol #typeoneninja #bedlam replies

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lotkwm · 7 months ago

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beeapocalypse · 2 months ago

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haunted once more by a dumb character idea

#tma guy. anatomy student turned archives assistant (sent as the most unsubtle spy possible on nikolas orders. elias finds it all very--#--funny adn their constant misery in the eyes sanctum is a sweet boon) who slowly tears themself apart under such a restrictive existence #the best they can get while still having to have a Singular Identity for the time is subtle appearance changes (eyes colors--#--changing. minute tweaks to features. a new nail length / polish each day. the most drastic they can get Appearance wise is--#--hair bc wigs exist as an explanation for why theyre walking in the building w a buzzcut one day and braids the next) and lying constantly #--abt their life outside of the job (a constantly rotating cast of characters who Never have the same characteristics as the last time--#--they mentioned them. a husband a boyfriend two daughters a mother a cousin from out of town a brother who moved to america etc etc). at--#--one point (after sasha gets Not Them-ed ? lot of tension between the two strangers bc of the assistants non-interference stance--#--that had the not them stuck in the table just a bit longer) they have a complete breakdown in front of martin bc of the stress and--#--babble abt how every single member of their family expects too much and has left them for dead and how they want to go HOME #tim runs into them at the club one night while theyre playing the part of a COMPLETELY different person and it is a very strange--#--time. a stranger wearing a party city mask of your coworker #the tma timeline has faded a bit from my head but i like the idea of them somehow weaseling their way into survival even after the--#--not them is entombed by leitner. they signed the contract so they cannot abandon ship the circus has stopped responding to their--#--messages and elias makes a point to swing by and just Watch them regularly while the archives fights to not collapse in on itself #like the name jane for them. jane doe and Also a cute bit of name sharing w jane pretniss lol #a little less certain abt this but also like the idea that when the pressure is REALLY bad but b4 the not them disaster the assistant--#--would ask the rest of the archives staff to call them by a different name w no explanation just to be able to shake off the fetter of--#--a Set Name for a day. its a different name every time and the running theory w everyone is that it is either a trans thing or a very--#--convoluted joke. the second time they do this sasha ends up getting them a label maker + two of those 'HELLO MY NAME IS' name--#--tags. one for 'jane' and one for any different name they choose that day. a genuine + caring gesture that absolutely devastates the--#--assistant because now they are BRANDED with a name

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arcane-vagabond · 1 year ago

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#y'all my anxiety has me spiraling as of late because it just feels like my whole life is falling apart at this point #i got fired from my job a couple of months ago and i've been scrambling to try and find a new one #i work part time at a store i really love but it pays shit #and i've had all of these interviews and no one wants to hire me and i just feel unhireable at this point and it's hard not to despair #and on top of that i'm struggling with my self esteem again #i know i'm not ugly per se but i'm struggling with feeling confident in the way i look as a big girl #and all of my old insecurities are rearing their ugly heads and i want to cry just thinking about it #and i feel like such a failure right now even though i know that life has its ups and downs but my stupid brain just won't chill #and i don't really have any friends in the area because they all either moved away or didn't live here to begin with #and i'm tired of living at home because of my stupid student loans and not being able to afford to live on my own #i have one person i hang out with and we just met and i don't want to scare them off because they're a great friend and person #and i just feel like i'm never going to meet anybody who's going to love me the way i want to be loved because of my looks #also because it's me. and i feel like i'm so flawed as a person that no one will ever fall in love with me #and i've just been feeling really alone lately and i'm trying to do things to make me feel better but it's just so HARD right now #and i love writing because it gives me a chance to explore some of my feelings and it's something i genuinely love to do #and i'm sitting here waiting for the day things start to get better. and i know we all joke and i'm gonna sounds so dumb for saying this #but i feel like i was meant to be famous? or do something great idk and it's something everyone has always told me #and idk if my feelings of inadequacy are because of that or what but i'm scared that my life is going to mean nothing in the end #anyway this was a lot and you can pretend like you didn't read it. i just wanted to write some of my feelings down

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jennypferry · 3 months ago

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PART TIME JOB IN US FOR INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS

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intomybubble · 5 months ago

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And here's my 4th depiction of Saint Germain in Japanese media lmao I was not expecting him to show up in this series considering the others take place around late 1800s Europe