#part of the sacrifice was the risk of destabilizing

[illuminatedferret]

I loooooove E-ming not only because it is a cute murder-saber but because everyone assumes Hua Chebg must have sacrificed a bunch of people in some dark ritual when, no, all he sacrificed was his eye. And I love that message: that the sacrifices you make of yourself will always be more valuable than the sacrifices you demand of others.

[purplesoulcollection]

Unnatural Love

Part 18

Synopsis : Name has being transmigrated into the world of I'm Not That Kind Of Talent without ever reading the novel. She's not being reincarnated as a human but as a devil as well.

Hi There! I want to let you know that this fanfiction story isn't solely my creation. I borrowed the concept from @quqiwo2. I haven't actually read the novel either, just some spoiler to the end.

I hope you'll excuse my spelling and grammar mistake, because English not my first language.

He grabbed the letter he had discovered along with the sword before finally making his way to the Emperor.

“Greetings, your imperial majesty. Will you entrust your life to me?” These were Deon's words as he entered Emperor Eduardo's private chambers. He's not even have any intention to make a small talk first.

The Emperor felt no fear from Deon's declaration; instead, he found reassurance in it. "What do you mean?"

"You and I both understand that neither of us desires a lengthy existence. Why not take matters into our own hands?"

"And what about the Duke?" The Emperor was aware that the Duke was somehow involved in Deon's anticipated revenge.

"My brother has handled that. I have defeated the demon king, and you are the only one left who has yet to face my retribution, Emperor Eduardo."

"Don't you want to embrace life? Wasn't your fierce will to survive what made you a hero during the eight-year war? And now, you wish for death?"

Deon sighed wearily at the emperor's words, recalling the struggles he faced during the war and the drive that kept him going. Yet, all of that seemed meaningless to him now.

"Yes, I fought hard to stay alive. I longed for happiness, but my frail body made that a distant dream. Finding joy amidst the chaos of war was simply impossible."

"I held resentment towards those who pushed me to fight. But in the end, I survived, fueled by a desire for revenge."

"Tragically, I ended up taking the lives of my own parents due to a misunderstanding. My brother nearly gave up everything for my sake, and my beloved Adele sacrificed herself to ensure my future..."

"My life feels like a tragic tale, filled with the sacrifices of those I hold dear."

And then he fall his gaze to the emperor, his face looks so terrible, mixed with anger and regret. "Do I truly deserve to live after escaping death at the cost of their lives, all while they wished for my happiness? I wanted them to be alive so I could find joy myself."

"If I am left alone in this harsh world because of their sacrifices, I see no point in continuing this sinful existence. I would rather cast away this meaningless life..."

And then Deon actually looked down the emperor like he is below him. "And what about you, Emperor? Are you certain you still wish to live in this world? Your nephew is eagerly waiting for you to relinquish the throne. Wouldn't your continued existence only stand in their way?"

Deon retrieved the letter from his blazer pocket and tossed it before the emperor. It was a summons for him to engage in battle with another kingdom. "Engaging in wars with other kingdom only serves to destabilize this empire, making it an unsuitable place for a new and inexperienced heir to take the throne."

"Do you really want the crown prince to endure a never-ending conflict because of your desire to fight everyone?"

"Moreover, after just emerging from a battle with the demon king, is it wise to provoke another kingdom and risk defeat? That would be quite humiliating, and the consequences won't fall solely on you, Emperor."

"And also aren't you already struggling with the repercussions of that curse, given your bad karma and a body that no longer heals?"

"How do you know so many things about me, Deon?"

"That’s not important, Your Majesty. What matters is that my reasoning should resonate with you. Your untimely death would allow the heir to ascend the throne without difficulty, freeing you from the burden of your curse."

"That's quite a provocative proposition, Deon. If I were to end your life, would you do the same to me?"

"I approach matters of business with utmost seriousness, Your Majesty. There's no need for you to be concerned."

"Then you would be labeled a traitor in this kingdom. Are you prepared for that?"

"I never sought that noble title in the first place. I don’t feel deserving of it, and to me, it holds no value. Besides, if the Emperor cannot eliminate me, I’ll simply wait to face the punishment for betraying you, your majesty."

The emperor burst into laughter upon hearing Deon's plan to belittle his capabilities, his expression turning fierce as he fixed his gaze on Deon. "So, you think you can take my life, regardless of whether I can take yours? You've truly lost your mind, Deon."

And Deon also made a crazy face, letting out his last madness. "You’re the one who’s truly lost it, Emperor. You’ve turned me into your royal pet. As the king, it’s your duty to manage your own wild beast."

"I see your point, Deon. It seems that only the insane can keep the insane in check. Fine, I’ll entertain your wild notion!"

"Don’t you want to bid farewell to your dear nephews? Don’t you care enough about them to let them live?"

"Not necessary; I can meet my end whenever I choose. I was merely curious—if I couldn’t take your life, would you then take theirs?"

"No, once I’ve dealt with you and you’ve failed to take me down, I’ll simply wait for someone to discover me drenched in the blood of your esteemed emperor. Your nephews are of no concern to me."

"What a heartless way to see my demise become the reason for your capture."

Do you want to answer one last question before I meet my end? May I ask, Deon?

With a look of irritation, he granted the emperor's final wish, "What is it?"

"Why are you doing this? You could have fought and perished in that war, yet you chose to come here to die instead."

Deon’s face twisted in bitterness, as if haunted by a painful memory. "I… I promised her, I wouldn’t kill recklessly again. For me, there’s a significant difference between killing in war and killing out of revenge."

"If I had to choose between fighting you or killing you, I would choose to kill you. I’m tired of war and death. I’d rather end it all by taking your life, and then my grudge would finally fade away."

"Alright, I see." That was their final exchange before they both unsheathed their swords.

The disparity in their strengths was evident. The king, bearing wounds that would never heal, faced Deon, who had risen to the status of a hero, making it clear who would emerge victorious.

As he had promised the emperor, he indeed took the emperor's life, drenched in his blood.

He then poured himself a glass of the emperor's wine, determined to savor it fully, as this would be his last drink.

Then the guards came and saw the situation where the emperor was killed with a very strong smell of blood wafting and Deon who was busy drinking wine was seen.

"Emperor! Your Majesty the Emperor!! You are a traitor, Deon hardt!!!" The panicked guards immediately surrounded Deon who wasn't even surprised when he saw the sharp spears being pointed, he even looked bored by all this.

"Yes, arrest me right now and sentence me to death." He obediently raised his hands, not having the slightest desire to fight the guard.

Then after being arrested, Deon calmly waited for the day of his death, he was visited by his older brother, but that didn't change what had happened to Deon, he would still be executed.

Meanwhile, Lofty's troops who were left behind tried to rebel. But thanks to Deon's cooperation to calm Lofty's troops and disband the troops under Deon's leadership who had betrayed the empire.

The troops who were forced to be scattered ended up living a life outside the army. They no longer kill each other but live peacefully as citizens.

Then the day of his execution arrived, Elphidius, who had not yet been officially appointed emperor, presided over the execution of Deon, the hero of mankind, which was attended by the people who also mocked Deon.

What a tough start for Elphidius.

"Bring Deon Hardt is to be executed here!" Elphidius commanded, inciting the crowd to hurl insults at Deon. He was forcibly taken away, preparing for his grim end.

"Do you have any last words before you meet your end, Deon?!" Elphidius, Allethea stood beside him, both visibly furious.

Their anger was understandable, given that Deon had killed their uncle.

This was the moment Deon had anticipated. "Absolutely, I have something to say! Do you know why I killed the former emperor?"

"I don't know, weren't you just obsessed with doing that?" a voice from the crowd shouted, met with a chorus of agreement.

"Let me explain. The previous Emperor ordered me to engage in battle against another kingdom." A wave of shock rippled through the crowd, followed by murmurs of discontent. It was clear they were unhappy with the former emperor's command.

"After our empire fought against the demons, we are short on troops to take on other kingdoms, yet the emperor still insists on waging war. Is he out of his mind?"

"He'll surely draft soldiers from among you, the citizens of the empire, to satisfy his war cravings. This could lead to the downfall of our empire, and Crown Prince Elphidius might lose his throne."

"I couldn't let that happen to our empire or to any of you. So I made the choice I believed was right as a true hero and end him right now..."

"Liar!! You must have killed him because you wanted too, Deon. Even though uncle was good to you!!" The crown prince said he was shocked by Deon's words. He didn't expect that his uncle still loved them both…

"Kind, where does he's so kind, crown prince? Oh yes, crown prince Elphidius and princess Allethea, you were also really loved by your uncle until the end, one of his last questions was whether I would kill you both…"

"Execute him right now." The crown prince no longer wanted to hear anything from Deon. He was already very hurt by Deon.

After the order was issued, Deon was forced to bow and his head was finally beheaded…

But after that rumors circulated that Deon should not have been beheaded, because he was a hero who saved an empire that was maniacal about war…

The End?!?!?!?!?

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This is not the end of my story, but if you're feeling great with this bad ending, it's okay to not see the next chapter.

[eighthdoctor]

If Sylvanas primarily sees her position as Warchief as a means of accomplishing her goals, would she want to continue being Warchief if she actually managed to reach those goals (ie the Forsaken are no longer at risk of being wiped out and don’t get sent to superhell anymore)?

The honest answer is so straight forward that I'm going to spin it sideways a little, because the answer is "she absolutely would not but I can't talk more about it because spoilers". Which seems a little unfair to give you as an answer when you are spot on and I like people being right, and anyway there's still a problem here.

Ie, what the fuck is the Jailer's deal.

putting a cut in bc we're gonna talk about a suicide attempt

Some context to catch people up: About 15 years before Teldrassil, to condense a whole lot of plotting into one sentence, joint Alliance and Horde forces kill Arthas and replace him as Lich King with another person who hopefully will not quite so quickly become evil. Sylvanas is not part of this. Sylvanas is not consulted on this. Sylvanas is halfway around the world kicking demons out of the Undercity.

When she does find out that the person who killed her, raised her, used her as a puppet to defeat her homeland, and has generally been the worst thing in a life/unlife that's already pretty full of bad things was not only killed without her but REPLACED by someone who she's just supposed to TRUST isn't gonna try to do the same damn thing again--

She jumps off a cliff onto a field of saronite spikes and kills herself. Because why bother, why keep going, the revenge she held herself together for has been taken from her, so let's just. Finish it.

UNFORTUNATELY it turns out that after Sylvanas dies she's going to superhell for being gay for uh, reasons. Which reasons depends on what source you're looking at, but it's typically a combination of a) Sylvanas does bad things or WILL do bad things in future and so therefore is ALWAYS doomed to superhell and b) all Forsaken go to superhell bc they're fundamentally abominations.

Since this is Calvinism in a fantasy trenchcoat, Sylvanas hauls herself back together and makes a deal with 9 angels Val'kyr (Warcraft has never met a mythology it didn't want to plunder). The deal is to the effect of they'll resurrect Sylvanas* and in return she'll free them from working for the Jailer, who it turns out is the guy who runs superhell.

* Sylvanas is very complicated to resurrect. Every time she dies it's a sacrifice of 3 Val'kyr to bring her back. As of fic-start she has 3 left, which makes her a little nutty.

All of which is to provide context for one of Sylvanas's main motivators: Not going back to hell. Ideally also not letting the rest of the Forsaken wind up in hell for things they didn't do. It's important to preserve the Forsaken on Azeroth, because every one that dies goes to superhell (the Maw), but it's ALSO important to destabilize the Jailer and dismantle the whole system.

Which is all kinds of interestingly fucked up, so Blizzard just completely dropped the ball in the Shadowlands expansion and therefore I'm ignoring almost all of it.

Who is the Jailer? I recommend not opening the wiki page because it actively rots my brain cells; Blizzard has a thing about Categorizing that over the last 25 years has inevitably meant there's about forty different pantheons of various eldritch abominations and/or gods running around, except for when there's only six. Anyway. The Jailer is a very powerful eldritch thing that's been delegated to run the Maw as punishment for trying instead to take over the entire afterlife. Perhaps foreseeably, putting the guy who wanted to run the afterlife in charge of the portion of it filled exclusively with supervillains led IMMEDIATELY to a lot of plotting on how to take over successfully this time (this bit is, remarkably, canon).

In Shadowlands this then turns into a massive scheme that rewrites the actual plot of about four expansions and also is insane and also extremely bad.

So let's just leave it at that: The Jailer wants to run the afterlife (understandable) and is trying to get there by recruiting (or conscripting) various Maw-denizens to help. One of them is Sylvanas, who--because she's undead in the first place, because the demon experimentation that turned into the Helm was way more successful than the Legion realized, because she's only halfway supposed to be there at all, because she's that desperate--gets out. Who talks the Val'kyr into breaking their own chains and Raising her back to life.

Sylvanas scrambles back into Azeroth knowing that the afterlife is fucked beyond all reason, and that most Forsaken don't remember any of that at all, and that there are multiple gods (or entities on that power scale) behind this, and that the Forsaken are unspeakably doomed--and, from the events leading up to her suicide, nobody cares and nobody will help.

So with all of that in mind: What do you think it will take to fix the Forsaken's situation?

[indigo-fyre]

All right, been working on the boy for awhile so I’m eager to share about him! (Fair warning, there will be some differences from canon, and it got a little long so it’s under a cut)

Caleb Lavellan, he/him, roughly 25 at the start of Inquisition, elf, mage, Arcane Warrior

Condensed backstory, he is an adopted member of Clan Lavellan. Was an apprentice to Warden-Commander Mahariel before he left in search of a cure for the Blight. They met after the Warden slew the Archdemon. Through a chance meeting he also travelled with Anders around the Fifth Blight, hiding from Templars and Darkspawn.

Romanced Harding and Solas. Kenric also fits in there somewhere.

The romance was more of an accidental thing, mainly because he likes to flirt when nervous or mess with whoever he’s talking to. And he’s an idiot who thinks he’s cleverer than he really is. The Fade kiss only happened because he was convinced he was actually talking to a spirit that had picked up on his interest in Solas.

Broke canon a little in that Caleb initiates the breakup in Crestwood himself. He was convinced his good bad luck was going to run out and he was going to die stopping Corypheus and he panicked. Then Solas had his own panic. Harding is tired of Thedas’ dramatic, angst elven men.

Closest besides Solas would definitely be Sera and Dorian. Cole comes very close.

Things were very rocky with Bull and Vivienne initially. Bull, because he has an adopted sister who is a Vashoth mage that he’s protective of. Vivienne, just because they have very different views on mage freedom. Cassandra and Cullen fall in here too. There is eventually a mutual respect and a close friendship, at least with Bull and Vivienne.

The Chargers were saved. Caleb couldn’t ask Bull to sacrifice his men, and he did have a bias to keep them safe rather than maintain an alliance.

He and Blackwall were friends and Caleb’s fatal flaw is his devotion towards people he’s close with. Rainier was forgiven.

Cole seemed like he was on the way to become human already. He and Varric were just helping him along.

Briala rules through Gaspard.

Slight canon divergence here, in that a few of his friends in Clan Lavellan, including my Tabris, joined the Inquisition with him. Tabris found what Celene did to the Halamshiral alienage through talking with the servants and urged Caleb to let the Empress be assassinated.

Loghain was left in the Fade. It was not an easy decision, and in response Caleb does experimental testing with the Mark involving trying to figure out how to open Rifts himself at will and gain more mastery over it to try to avoid similar situations. This has a side effect of almost destabilizing the Mark earlier than canon.

Local Inquisitor gets up to enough shit that eventually Solas doesn’t even need magic to keep his hair from growing back. Harding likes most of the mayhem, but even she gets a few gray hairs from his antics.

Against the advice of almost everyone in the room, Caleb drank from the Well. He couldn’t let Morrigan take the knowledge and risk her not sharing it beyond what was needed for the situation. This decision has had zero consequences (lie).

Leliana became Divine. Caleb tried his hand at being Spymaster after she left and he wasn’t in the field closing Rifts. Charter forced him to let her take over.

See Blackwall above. That is his friend/ex-lover/current lover/It’s Complicated, and he will try to change his mind.

Adding a screenshot of the guy. This is all only a part of what I have, and doesn’t even mention my AU where Anders is the Warden contact, which I wish was an option in-game

InQUIZitor: A questionnaire to hype us up for Veilguard

So I read this article stating that in The Veilguard, we'll be able to make our Inquisitors in the CC and pick some of their crucial decisions. I immediately FREAKED OUT and made a lil questionnaire for my fwens to tell me about their Inquisitors and their crucial decisions, and I thought I would share!

FRIENDS, PALS, BUDDIES: Feel free to fill out this questionnaire, send it to anyone who wants to scream about their Inky, and reblog as you see fit!

Feel free to add any other information or decisions that felt crucial to you (e.g. if you were Dalish, did the Lavellan clan survive?), and expand on your answers as much as you want!

************

Inquisitor name, age, race, class:

Romance (if applicable):

Best friends among the Inquisition members (pick 3):

Least favourite Inquisition member/who they got along with the least:

Did they save the Chargers or sacrifice them?

What did they do about Blackwall?

Did Cole become spirit vs. human?

Who did they put in power at the Winter Palace?

Who did they leave in the Fade?

Did they drink from the Vir'Abelasan, or did Morrigan?

Who became the Divine?

Are they friendly with Solas? Did they want to "save" Solas or kill him at the end of Trespasser?

[o-king-of-suns]

Hi ^^ I've recently found ur blog and read ur meta. Ur analysis is great! I'm kinda new here but I've seen so many ppl talk about Levi's guidebook page, referring to it as "the confirmation of what Levi was solely fighting for in the final battle i.e revenge by fulfilling the promise" I'm sorry if this has been pointed out before but as a Levi fan who believes otherwise, I'd love to read ur interpretation. Also u also believe the GB is implying this? I think ppl are having the wrong impression.

Hi! :) Thank you so much! I am glad you liked my meta! English is not my first language, so I try my best to express what I want to say.

Almost everyone agrees that the final guidebook is just an ABSOLUTE hot garbage! xD At this point that no one is taking seriously anymore! xD It straight up contradicts what happens in the manga, has VERY reductive and nonsensical descriptions of the characters and is FULL of errors.

The main reason to why many people have issues with Levi’s part (apart from it having nothing new or because it mainly focused on the promise) is one word that was used in the text that has been translated by some biased people into “obsessed”.

I asked 3 Japanese people (including my teacher) about the word that was used in the text and the meanings that I was given were: (be) dedicated to; have an uncompromising commitment to ; to really focus on; to be determined to; etc. From what I understood, this term is always a headache as it truly depends on what the writer wants to convey and what it “feels” right in the context. "Obsessed” is like, the most reductive reading of that word, and it's the exact word that Er_ris chose to use xD

Japanese is often qualified as vague, and it CAN leave room for interpretation. For example, the word (きれい) Isayama used to say Levi was the opposite of Rorschach could mean "pretty" or "clean" based on the context, but here's the thing: Rorschach is notoriously ugly, so it makes sense that Isayama meant that Levi is "pretty" (and it IS officially translated to "pretty" ), but I have seen MANY Japanese people say that Isayama meant "clean" not “pretty”! This word meaning in the text literally and solely depended on Isayama's intention even causing translators to get confused and translate it to “pretty”! If we look at the context of Levi’s character description in the last gb, the last line mentions that after his final mission, Levi “meets his friends with a calm heart”. Why would Levi be able to meet his friends with a “calm heart” if his entire arc was about him being “obsessed” with a personal goal and revenge?! Is this why he salutes them and they salute him back in the final chapter?! I am 100% sure that the word “obsessed” was not the one that the person who wrote the description wanted to use.

Now let’s stop talking about language translation and focus on Levi in the manga xD Is the gb version Levi the same Levi whom Isayama described as "as an existence more superior to myself" during Levi’s statue reveal just last March?!

You know, when I asked my native Japanese teacher to help me translate Isayama's statement about Levi, she sent me a 4 minute voice note breaking down the terms Isayma used and explaining how much respect the person speaking (Isayama) has for the person he's talking about (Levi). I was embarrassed to tell her that the person he’s speaking about is actually a fictional character lol

Isyama used 頭 の上がらない which literally means “can’t raise someone’s head” but it actually means “can’t raise someone’s head in front someone else for how much respect they have for this person”

Now let’s look at Levi’s actions in the manga to see if we can reach to the same conclusion.

Levi is one of, if not the most, perceptive characters in SNK. In one the official short stories, he was described as a person who is able to “know the true nature of Man”. For Levi, Zeke is a man who cheered with satisfaction as he threw rocks through fifteen year olds. He’s the person who nonchalantly explained to Levi the process of gassing an entire village of unsuspecting civilians and flinging them into an eternal nightmare in order to weaponize their bodies. Zeke’s manipulations are the origin of almost all of Paradis’ problems, whether it’s encouraging Marley to ramp up aggressions or pulling shady shit with Kiyomi, Yelena and the Jaegerists that destabilizes their already vulnerable island. And what’s worse - because we’re reading a story where torn-up characters are often excused by circumstances of coercion or perceived necessity - he doesn’t care. He feels no remorse. He wants to do this. Levi doesn’t know Zeke’s ultimate reasoning of course, but he recognized through the smoke of the campfire a man who doesn’t give a fuck about the wishes and agency of others. Who will force his own will on a race of humans and call it mercy. AND YET, Levi stays with him for  A WHOLE MONTH in the forest bringing him books, drinks and a pillow to sit on. He keeps asking him about what happened in Connie’s village trying over and over to understand him. And then the guy transforms Levi’s own teammates in front of him, forces him to kill them and taunts him with their suffering. Levi perceives a person who’s arrogant enough to consider his cruelty compassion as he decides whether the lives of their children are worth living.YET, Levi decided to keep him alive because he believed that it is what’s the best for Paradis; a decision that eventually caused Levi’s severe injuries and the activation of the Rumbling!

During the final battle, Levi offered to act as a bait for Mikasa so she can try to bring back Armin and risks his life TWICE to save Jean and Connie risking his chances to ever fulfill his promise to Erwin.

Please tell me now that these are actions of an “obsessed” man who is only focused on killing Zeke and revenge.

The first time Levi mentions the vow after the time skip, he says: “Erwin, I think I will be finally able to fulfill the vow I made to you that day. Your deathS had meaning. At last I will be able to prove it”  Levi clearly associates giving meaning to his comrades’ deaths WITH fulfilling his vow to Erwin. This is the line that proves that the vow has always meant something more.

Levi made a promise that came to represent the fulfillment of the goal all his former Survey Corps comrades laid down their lives for. Slaying the Beast Titan took on symbolic stature, a tangible way of giving their sacrifices meaning - especially in a world where the circumstances had drastically shifted and enemies, allies, and other were suddenly seen from a completely different perspective.

In Ch. 136, Levi remembers his friends and reflects upon their sacrifices and what they meant. They did not sacrifice their lives to “trample the lives and hearts of others”.

We never got a SINGLE panel in which he says that he fulfilled his promise! In the last apparition of his fallen comrades, Erwin isn’t even in the center. He salutes his fallen comrades for devoting their hearts for humanity and they salute him back for honoring their sacrifices.

If there is one thing that Levi was “obsessed” about, it is him trying to give meaning to the deaths and sacrifices of the people who truly devoted their hearts to humanity and whom he truly loved

[catflorist]

The Time Being (ao3 / ffn) catflorist Summary: Time-slipping is a side effect of wielding the Rinnegan. When Sasuke slips through time, he always goes to Sakura, whether he wants to or not. 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8

pt 4: choice

Sasuke’s teammates followed him into the ranks of the Akatsuki and into the Land of Lightning.

Halfway to their destination, Sasuke woke up in the middle of the night with a jolt. Karin, keeping guard, asked, “Who’s Sakura?”   Sasuke was very awake.   Karin continued in a quiet whisper, “You were saying her name in your sleep.”

Sakura was everywhere, infiltrating his thoughts and dreams, disrupting his movement through time. Sasuke exhaled. He did not trust himself to lie. “She was my old teammate.”   “I see,” Karin said. She sprang, “Are you sure this all is what you want? Don’t you want to rest now?”   “I would if you stopped talking,” he said, scowling. He rolled over.   Karin chuckled. Sasuke’s irritability no longer bothered her.   He didn’t sleep. He thought about the Sakura he had met in a pink dress, letting him glimpse a rebuilt Konoha outside her window.   Sasuke searched within his deep pocket, fingers closing around the pebble from Sakura’s beach. He pressed its gentle weight against the center of his palm. 

For the first time, he wanted to slip. He wanted to see her. To ask why, if he was the one destroying the village, she did not hate him. Why instead, she healed him, showed him her child, and offered him a blanket. 

He stayed put. . . “Sasuke!” Karin cried. “Are you okay?”   The battle with the eight-tails was not going well. Jugo had plugged the gaping cavity in his chest, but Sasuke still could not breathe.   Karin rolled up her sleeve. Sasuke bit down on her forearm, adding his mark to the collection of teeth-shaped scars on her skin. Karin’s chakra burned through him like electricity, shocking his limbs awake. Sasuke’s lungs jumped back into commission. He gulped oxygen with ragged breaths.   After the battle, they trekked to a sheltered spot and collapsed on the ground without bothering to unfurl their bedrolls. Sasuke woke up in the middle of the night with one hand clutching his ribs, confirming his body was still whole. His teammates breathed softly next to him in a tangle of dark robes, travel packs, and weapons. Sasuke blinked hard. For a moment, he thought he had slipped again, back to his genin days, to one of the countless nights spent sleeping within arm’s reach of Naruto and Sakura.

His head rushed with vertigo. Sasuke stood up in a small living room smelling faintly of lavender. There was the couch where Sakura had healed him. There was the bookshelf, the shelves more packed than Sasuke’s last visit. Outside Sakura’s window, the new Konoha was peaceful in the moonlight. The village would go on, no matter who destroyed it and why.   Wooden floorboards creaked.   “Was it me?” he asked. “Was I the one destroying Konoha?”   Sakura was bare-legged, with sleep-mussed hair, securing the tie of a thin robe around her waist. 

“Which Sasuke are you?” she murmured.   Sasuke drew his cloak around his shoulders, revealing the Akatsuki clouds. Voice hoarse, he said, “I learned the Konoha council was behind my clan’s massacre.”

It was his first time uttering the words aloud. Whenever he tried to share the truth with Taka, his throat closed. He wondered how his teammates still followed him when he could not explain the reason why they were risking their lives.   Sakura hugged her torso. In the dark, her eyes shone.    “It’s true, then,” Sasuke reasoned. Sakura wouldn’t be looking at him that way if it wasn’t true.   “It’s true,” she echoed, in a whisper.   “You’re certain?”   “I broke into the council’s files to be sure. But you told me yourself, years ago.”   A part of Sasuke had suspected, even hoped, that Madara had lied. But Sakura would not lie to him.   “I’m so sorry,” she said.   “Tell me what will happen.”    Sakura remained silent.   Sasuke broke. He pleaded, “Please, Sakura. I need to know. What should I do now?” 

“You have a choice to make,” she said, joining him by the windowsill. “What’s important to you? What do you want to fight for?”

Sasuke gazed out at Sakura’s street. Did anything change when the village rebuilt? Or beneath the colorful paint, maybe it the same ugly place, where councilmembers discussed genocide behind closed doors.   “Do you want some tea?” Sakura asked.   “You always ask me that,” he muttered.   She smiled. “Do I?”   Sasuke didn’t protest as she vanished into the kitchen and set the kettle to boil. They sipped their tea on Sakura’s couch. She sat on his left like she used to.

Holding an empty cup, Sasuke’s thoughts flowed freely. “Itachi gave his life for Konoha. I don’t want his sacrifice to be for nothing,” he said. “But the village doesn’t deserve him.”   “Do you think Konoha could be a place worth Itachi’s sacrifice?”   “I don’t know,” Sasuke said honestly. “What do you think?”   Sakura’s hand was hovering over his shoulder. Sasuke leaned into her touch, because he needed it. Because it was her. It was no use putting up a front. She had accompanied him through more vulnerable moments than this. When Orochimaru bit the cursed mark into his skin. That night on the only road leaving the village. On the beach after his nightmare. After Itachi’s death. Somehow it was always her.

“I don’t know,” she said. “Maybe we can find out together.”   She stroked his back. At some point, Sasuke’s head dropped back to rest against the cushion. Her hand settled over his, fingers brushing the bone of his wrist. Time slowed, and his eyes fell shut.   When Sasuke opened his eyes again, early morning dew quivered upon his hair and clothing. His head was clear, his body well-rested. Karin, Suigetsu, and Jugo were clustered around a small fire. Steam rose from cups of tea in their hands.   “Hey,” Karin said. The flames lit her face in red glow. “Feel better?”   Sasuke sat beside the fire and pulled his cloak up to his chin. It was time they knew. 

“Madara told me something,” he began. 

Staring into the fire, he told his teammates everything. He did not look up to see their faces. Their silence told it all.   When he was done, Jugo removed his own cloak and draped it over Sasuke’s shoulders. Karin poured him tea. 

“So,” Suigetsu said, pushing over his portion of breakfast. “This is why you want to tear down your village.”   Sasuke closed his eyes. “That’s not what I want anymore.”   “What do you want?” Karin asked.

In the distance, waves crashed. This land was colder and harsher than Sakura’s beach. Yet feeling the warmth of the cup, smelling the sea in the air, Sasuke thought she might appear around the bend, carrying a bucket of mussels or a blanket.

“I want to honor Itachi,” Sasuke said. “I’ll protect the village. But it needs to change, first.”

They discussed how to tear down and rebuild a village without touching its physical form. They made a new plan. It was straightforward: destabilize the council, the source of corruption in Konoha, by threatening, expelling, or killing its members. It was criminal, but they were already criminals.

When it was all decided, Sasuke said, “Let’s go.”   “Eat something first,” Karin insisted. “And finish your tea.”   He ate something. He finished his tea. . . When they felt the shockwaves of Pain’s attack on the village, the hairs prickled on the back of Sasuke’s neck. Somewhere out there, he was meeting Sakura, and she was destroying a piece of Konoha herself to keep him from harm’s way.   Jugo tilted his head in sympathy. “Someone stole your old idea.”   “it will rebuild,” Sasuke said. “Our plan doesn’t change. Now’s the perfect time.”   Through the Akatsuki network, they heard word of the Five Kage Summit. Danzo, the mastermind of the Konoha council, and acting Hokage of Konoha, would attend. Taking out Danzo was the perfect way to set their plan in action.   They traveled across the land towards Snow. One night, Sasuke said to Karin, “I want to teach you something.” He had a certain technique in mind. After feeling the current of Karin’s chakra when she healed him, Sasuke knew she would take well to it. . . They were on a bridge and Danzo held Karin’s body as a shield between himself and Sasuke.   Danzo tightened his grip around Karin’s neck, testing how hard he would have to press for it to snap. “You will yield. Unless you want your teammate to die.” A whimper escaped her.   Sasuke bared his teeth. “Karin,” he urged.

Karin stretched back and pressed her hand to the side of Danzo’s neck. A thin blue arc of electricity erupted from her palm. His hold on her slackened. Karin knocked his arms away and blasted another strike of the chidori into his stomach.   Danzo fell, his body twitching.   The chirp of the chidori faded. “He’s yours,” Karin gasped, dropping to her knees.   Sasuke plunged his blade through Danzo’s heart, pinning him to the dust and stone beneath.   He supposed this was vengeance, but there was no thrill. His clan was still gone. Less straightforward and more difficult work lay ahead.   Karin shifted to avoid the slick path of Danzo’s blood. She rubbed her neck, old tears leaking from the corners of her eyes.   “Are you all right?” Sasuke asked, kneeling beside her.   “I’m fine,” she said. “Thanks for teaching me your trick.”   A quiet, wet cough escaped Danzo. Their gazes snapped up.   “Take the sword out,” Karin advised. “He’ll die faster.” . . The war broke out soon after Danzo’s death. Kabuto’s reanimation jutsu raised the dead. Sasuke and Itachi met and fought together again. Deep within a dark cave, they defeated Kabuto, ensnaring him within Itachi’s looping genjutsu.   Outside in the daylight, Sasuke faced his brother. “I know the truth.”   An unearthly shaft of light illuminated Itachi’s form. It emanated from a different sun than the one warming Sasuke’s face. Itachi blinked his Sharingan away. His dark eyes were soft, waiting for Sasuke’s verdict.   “I will never forgive Konoha the way it currently exists.” Sasuke breathed in. “So I’m going to change everything.”   Shadows teased the angles and grooves of his brother’s face. “You don’t need to do anything at all,” Itachi said. “It’s alright if you want to rest.”   A lump grew in Sasuke’s throat.   Itachi held the back of Sasuke’s head and pressed their foreheads together. His spectral flesh trembled with energy, like the beating of a bird’s wings, like a thought fluttering from Sasuke’s mind.   “Whatever you do, I will love you always.”   His brother dissolved into the still blue sky. . . Taka was a day’s journey to the battlefield, the site of the Third Great Shinobi War. They set up camp and Sasuke settled into his bedroll. When he slipped, it was gentle, like falling asleep.

He was in a dark bedroom. A Sakura of his own age rolled over in her bed, and sat up.   “Which Sasuke are you?” she asked.   He sat on the edge of her bed. “I met Itachi again. The war is starting.”   “Ah,” Sakura said. Her bare leg pressed against his as she settled next to him.   “Which Sakura are you?”   “The war is over for me,” she said. “About a year now.”   “I’m going to fight with you,” Sasuke said. What better way to protect the village?   Sakura smiled. “I know.”

Sasuke stretched out a hand and paused a hair’s breadth apart from her cheek. Sakura turned her head so his fingertips brushed her skin.   Now that they were touching, Sasuke couldn’t stop himself. He touched the mark on her forehead, the one he still didn’t know about, and traced down her jaw, her collarbone.   “Why is it always you?” he wondered, though he was starting to understand.   She covered his hand with hers. “Your hand is cold,” she murmured, lips parting.

Sasuke couldn’t wait any longer to kiss her. He touched his lips to hers. It occurred to him that maybe he should have waited for the Sakura that occupied the same time and space as him. But this Sakura sighed, and opened her mouth against his, and his mind emptied. The soft movement of their lips made his stomach lurch, like he was falling. Afraid he would slip away, he clutched Sakura tighter, urging time to still and keep him here a little longer.

Sakura pulled away, a silent stream of tears wetting her cheeks.   “What’s wrong?” Sasuke whispered.   “I miss you,” she said. 

“Don’t.” Sasuke brushed the tears away. His hand lingered, cradling her face. “I’ll be with you soon.” 

He felt a pang of irritation considering his future self. Why wasn’t he here, comforting her? Where else would he be?

Sakura pulled him into a tight embrace. Her body was still warm from sleep. Sasuke’s lips grazed the skin of her throat. 

Sasuke jolted upright in his bedroll. In the dark, he touched his fingers to his mouth, and breathed. 

It was not long before he saw Sakura again in his own time. . . When Sasuke received the Rinnegan, he slipped. For the first time, he did not see Sakura. He met someone else.

“You’re not Sakura,” he observed.

“No,” the young woman said, “I’m not.”

He was in Konoha, but not the Konoha he knew. . . . .

Up next: We'll see what Sakura has been up to this whole time.

Notes: The next (and remaining) four chapters will be from Sakura's perspective. Thank you so much for reading and following this fic! Every bit of feedback means so much to me. I read your comments aloud to my partner...

[schism-au-blog]

Chapter 16: The Battle of Metal Sand: Bismuth and Bloodstone

Bismuth marched towards Rose, her army in tow. She saw Rose standing on a sand dune, her white dress blowing in the wind. Just two days ago, her face was that of a friend’s. Now, she was a rival. The Crystal gems were lined up in formation behind her, but it was clear they were waiting for a symbol.

 Bismuth stopped. “Wait here,” she told the gems surrounding her. “I need to talk to Rose.” She stepped forward until she was halfway between the armies.

Rose’s lips moved, then Garnet’s. Rose nodded and stepped forward, meeting Bismuth in the middle. Her eyes were full of grief. Bismuth felt ashamed for a moment- had she caused Rose to cry? No. It didn’t matter. No matter how magnetic and charismatic, her tears were nothing compared to the hundreds of gems shattered for the continuation of the empire.

 “Bismuth,” Rose pleaded. “You don’t have to do this. We can win the war without resorting to destroying our fellow gems.” She reached out a hand. “Please, come back with me.”

 “I can’t,” said Bismuth. “Every day this war drags on, gems are broken by the diamonds. You really think the diamonds will listen to reason? No. The only way we’ll win the war is if we prove we’re able to beat them at their own game.”

 “Do you hear yourself?” Rose asked. “You’re playing their game. You’re trying to cause fear and destruction. The earth shouldn’t be a wasteland of gem shards. It’s our planet. More than Homeworld ever was. The only way we stand against the diamonds is united.”

 “You’re right,” said Bismuth, “so join me.”

 “You know I can’t,” said Rose. “I can’t- I won’t endorse shattering.”

 “And I can’t endorse holding back and waiting for them to learn sense. We’re fighting a war, we should act like it, not equivocate! We need to hit them, hard. Show the elites who built their kingdom, and who can tear it down.”

 “It appears there is no reconciling,” said Rose. “I can’t approve of what you’re doing, and your conviction in this matter is clear. If you are determined to fight, I cannot think of anything I haven’t already said.”

 Bismuth nodded. “I wish you’d see sense. This fight has always been hard, and has required hard choices. Why can’t you see that if we could just shatter a diamond-”

 “We can’t,” said Rose. “We don’t have the resources. I am not letting my friends die trying!”

 “And so you hide away in cowardice. You want the world, but you’re not willing to make the sacrifices it takes to earn it. How can you have a clean conscience when you are not doing everything in your power to stop the suffering of every gem who still works for the tyrants?” Bismuth demanded.

 Rose looked straight into Bismuth’s soul. “How can you when you shatter those very gems?”

 “Instead you let your own gems get shattered!”

 “Homeworld will only escalate in retaliation,” Rose said. “It’s already begun. They’re developing more and stronger weapons.”

 “So am I!” said Bismuth.

 “You can’t compete with all of Homeworld!”

 ���And you can?”

 Rose scowled. She raised her head, drawing herself to her full height. “Let us get this battle over with.”

 Bismuth nodded, and wordlessly walked back to her army. The silence was deafening as she trudged back, each step boring a hole into the ground from the weight of it. Bismuth had been in many battles before but this one felt different. It could just be that she was the commander this time, and she’d never had that level of responsibility before. She felt something else, though. It didn’t matter. Today, the Metallic Gems would establish themselves as a serious threat. Something to take seriously. Her gem was pulsing with energy.

 The atmosphere was that of a spring pulled all the way back. Bismuth’s order to charge released it. A cacophony erupted from the battlefield as gems summoned their weapons and cried out. Bismuth charged forward. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a dagger come flying towards her. She ducked. It missed. She spotted an opening and poofed a gem with her mallet. She ran forward, avoiding an axe. She turned to face her assailant- Yarhil. Humans couldn’t poof, right? Bismuth remembered fighting alongside Yarhil- it wasn’t long since they’d had a battle on the same side. Bismuth ran off to the left. She couldn’t fight Yarhil without risking killing her.

 If Bismuth could poof Rose, that could prove they could do something even homeworld hadn’t achieved. She dodged out of the way of an incoming boulder. She tried to smash a carnelian, but she dodged. Bismuth looked for the iconic white dress but couldn’t see it before she had to block the carnelian’s counterattack. She managed to grab the carnelian’s arm and throw her across the battlefield.

 Bismuth was about to look for Rose again, but she didn’t need to. A shadow loomed over the battlefield as Pink Zircon, the fusion between Garnet, Pearl, and Rose, towered over the desert. Well, finding Rose was no longer an issue. Now poofing her was the hard part. And not getting knocked over by her dress. Bismuth hadn’t considered this. Did the Metallic gems even have a stable fusion with over two gems?

 A green behemoth rose from behind Bismuth. Emerald, Howlite, and Snowflake had been fighting near each other when Pink Zircon had fused and decided to fuse themselves. They named herself Bloodstone. She charged over to Pink Zircon, but before she could get close, Zircon pulled a spear off her dress and threw it at Bloodstone. She caught it with her top left arm and roared.

 “Good catch, dear,” said Pink Zircon, stepping closer. “Why don’t you try to catch this?” She reared back, letting her dress fall back to reveal her quadrupedal arms. She leaned on the back pair and summoned her gauntlets on the front pair. She swung a punch, but Bloodstone moved quickly to the side, pulling their Morningstar from their nose gem.

 “Oh ho ho!” said Pink Zircon. “A gift? For me?” She jumped into the air. “My apologies, but I must decline. Why don’t I give you a present instead?” She pulled another spear off her dress and threw it.

 Bloodstone growled and leapt after her. “How about no?” she asked. She swung her Morningstar at Zircon’s torso. Zircon pulled out Rose’s shield.

 “Oh, but I insist!” said Zircon, pulling yet another spear off her dress. Only this time, instead of throwing it, she connected it to a gauntlet she formed with the other hand.

 While Zircon was preparing her weapons, Bloodstone tackled her into the ground. She tried to pin down Zircon’s shield arm, but Zircon grabbed her arm with one of her foot-arms and pried it off. Bloodstone swung her Morningstar at Zircon with another of her arms. Zircon rolled out of the way, tugging Bloodstone with her. Both of them took a moment to stand up. They circled each other, scanning each other for weaknesses.

 “Please, dear, I’d prefer not to harm you,” said Zircon. “I haven’t met you before, but our components used to be close: we can-“Bloodstone swung the Morningstar once again.

 “Oh please,” said Zircon, blocking with her shield. “I can see you coming from a mile away.” She smiled mischievously. “Ready for a surprise?”

 Bloodstone looked down at her feet as roots were growing to entrap her. She smiled and stepped out of their grab. “Is that it?” she asked harshly.

 “Of course not,” said Pink Zircon. “That was just to give me enough time to assemble Sardonyx’s hammer. I do hope she won’t mind my borrowing it.” Zircon swung her hammer around, showing off.she

 Bloodstone saw an unguarded spot and hoped it wasn’t a trap. Bloodstone put her full force into hitting it, and by the time Zircon noticed, it was too late.

 “Oh dearie me!” Zircon said, before Rose, Garnet, and Pearl were flung out of sync.

 Bismuth breathed a sigh of relief. She hadn’t been able to keep a real close eye on the battle between titans, she had her own fights to attend to. But it had been both a literal and metaphorical shadow over her head. She grinned. Even this would cause people to revere Rose just a bit less, even if it was only one of her fusions that got destabilized, not her herself. Wait- Rose. Rose was unfused now. She could take her head-on. Show that she was the better gem.

 She charged through the mass of colliding gems, careful not to get destabilized herself. At least if her gem ended up on the battlefield, most people would think it was another Bismuth. That was a blessing Rose didn’t have.

 Bismuth hoped Pearl had been poofed while Bismuth tried to reach them. Pearl was so bold, such an amazing swordswoman. And they used to be good friends. Bismuth would hate to hurt her. But with how close she stuck to Rose; Bismuth would likely have to get Pearl out of the way to- wait! There! Bismuth saw a flash of white and pink. Was it Rose?

 As Bismuth got closer, she could see without a doubt that it was. Garnet, Pearl, and Rose were all fighting in close quarters with one another. Did Bismuth finally have her opportunity? As Rose turned to her, she realized the real fight had just begun.

Taglist: @chillchildvibes

[cicada-bones]

The Warrior and the Embers

Chapter 3: The Rooftop

Masterlist / Ao3 / Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

Rowan passed the rest of the night circling the city, letting the cool moonlight soothe the ache in his chest, and filling his lungs with gentle winds until his breaths were steady and even. He’d left Fenrys alone in the small apartment, still stewing.

Rowan didn’t know what the male was thinking exactly – but he could hazard a guess. There was the hint of hope on his warm features. The hope for change.

A different kind of hope coiled deep in Rowan’s gut. But still, he hoped. No matter how he tried to subdue it, to strangle it, Rowan hoped. And he hated himself for it.

Fenrys, at least, was free of that. He’d acted honorably, had always protected those he loved. And Rowan had not. Fenrys had no shame, no guilt. He had no reason for it. Maybe that was why he chafed on Rowan so.

Even sworn to Maeve, the male was free. And Rowan never would be again.

He pulled himself from those thoughts, focusing on the sprawling city below, and the princess hidden within its depths. She was so close. He had only to find her, to face the Heir of Fire, and maybe then he would see his love again.

On the anniversary of the day they were parted, perhaps he would finally be returned to her. To Lyria.

He spent the following day above a thin crescent-shaped area on the western edge of the city, monitoring its many taps, bars, and walkways. He had retrieved the relevant locations from Fenrys, and during the night had mapped out a route. So he circled, all the while tense and apprehensive – constantly on the alert for a glimpse of turquoise eyes rimmed with gold.

It wasn’t until late that night that he spotted her. By then, the tension in Rowan’s limbs had succumbed to a roiling frustration, and he felt as though the circuit he had been making through the air should have burned tracks into the earth by now.

The moon was lighter tonight, a layer of clouds obscuring Deanna’s faint glow and making it much more difficult to mark the faces of the figures below, even with Fae senses. Rowan had almost considered returning to the apartment to get some sleep, even risking intruding on Fenrys and whatever company he may have with him tonight, when suddenly the sound of angry shouting broke through the quiet night.

The noise was coming from a small, out-of-the-way taberna a few streets back on his route. It was one that his quarry had not been to before, but it was in the right area, so Rowan had marked it anyways.

The unmistakable sound of a wooden object (a chair?) crashing into a solid form (a body?) reached Rowan, just as he plunged through the air towards the bar entrance, landing on the edge of an awning across the way.            

In was only a few moments before a large man and another, smaller, cloaked figure burst through the tavern doors. They tumbled, clearly drunk, into the dirt. The man only managed to land one badly placed punch to the figure’s jaw before they efficiently flipped the man on his back and had him pinned below them.

During the absolute mess of a brawl, the smaller figure’s hood fell, revealing a tangle of long dirty hair and faded blue eyes, framing a delicate face with sharp, aristocratic features. The woman’s ears were round, human.

She couldn’t have been older than her mid-twenties, and she had flipped the brute over on his back like he had weighed no more than a sack of grain.

Rowan flapped his wings, moving a bit closer within the protection of the shadows. He heard her say, “Give it back you piece of shit,” just as she slid a dagger out of her sleeve and pressed it against the man’s ribs.

Rowan was still too far away to catch a trace of the woman’s scent, and though he strained, he could feel no hint of power from her. He remained cautious, moving as close as he could to the pair of them while staying out of sight.

The man reluctantly handed her a small object. The girl stood up and began to walk away, but not before passing beneath a street lamp. Her dull eyes glinted slightly in the light, providing the slightest metallic shimmer.

Rowan took off to follow her into the night.

···

Rowan sat perched on a rough brick chimney, staring intently at the small figure lying in the shade on the roof across from him. As she had all morning.

The day of the anniversary of his love’s death had dawned bright and hot. There were no clouds in the sky, no protection from Mala’s piercing gaze. But today, her touch did not feel a comfort. Today, nothing could wrest him from his grief, his boundless rage.

And the princess lying on the roof before him certainly was not helping matters.

Though it was only barely midday, the Wendlyn sun blazed overhead, baking the streets below until the cobblestones were hot enough to burn bare feet. And on the roof, it was even worse.

The clay tiles were designed to keep cool, to prevent the dwellings below from becoming so hot as to be uninhabitable. But lying on top of them had to be extraordinarily uncomfortable. Still, the girl remained unmoving, except to occasionally take swigs of sour wine from a clay jug, as the sun continued to rise overhead.

Rowan nearly squawked in frustration, his talons digging deeper into the crumbling stone beneath his feet.

The girl was a drunk. A complete and utter waste of his time. A stable boy probably could have collected her and ferried her to Mistward.

She brushed her face, moving to shield her eyes from the sun’s glare. But as she did so, she rubbed a freshly split lip courtesy of last night’s fight, and it wept a few beads of blood.

The girl was in a deplorable state – and not only because of her recent brawl. The damage went deeper than that.

Her tanned skin was coated in a thick layer of dirt, no doubt from the many nights spent lazing on rooftops, and her hair was one matted tangle resting on her shoulders. Once, no doubt, it had shone blonde and bright, and cascaded down her back like a golden waterfall. Now it was a dull brown, caked with dirt and spotted with dried blood, just like her skin.

Her clothes were, if possible, even worse. Soiled, ragged, and encrusted with gore. She gave every appearance of being the worst of the city’s vagrants. Drunken and vile.

But the girl just dozed, drowning herself in wine. Brash and overconfident in her inattention. She had no discipline, no self-control. So used to getting her own way that she couldn’t even be bothered to wash herself when left to her own devices.

Even the scars that painted her skin attested to her arrogance. Someone with that many marks obviously never bothered to shield themselves, and provoked fights simply for the fun of it. This girl was far too used to winning.

Even so, there was no doubt that this girl, this vagrant, was the princess he sought. She lay hardly twenty feet away from him, and from that distance he could just barely sense the flickers of her power. Faint, dying embers, smothered beneath iron bars of avoidance and neglect.

Rowan’s beak clicked. Heir of Fire, he scoffed.

The good-for-nothing child had turned away from even that – the deepest and most undeniable part of her identity. Her power. Her very self.

She had abandoned them all – forsaken her nation, discarded her very name, to…do what? Sneak through windows and murder political rivals for spare change? Lie on rooftops and drink herself into a stupor while the world continued to turn around her?

This child had abandoned her people to death and destruction by the thousands, through poverty and war alike. In Terrasen – her home, her birthright – the citizens she was responsible for starved in droves, driven into destitution by Adarlan’s iron taxes. When they rebelled, they burned. And here, their princess, their salvation, lay. Not a care in the world.

Furious anger roiled in Rowan’s stomach.

Yes, she had been a child when Adarlan attacked. But she was a youth no longer, and yet here she was, in the employment of the very king who had destroyed her nation and was on his way to enslaving an entire continent to his will. Not only that, but she was here on orders to murder and destabilize the royal court of Wendlyn. Her own cousins.

The Ashryvers. Members of her own family. They even shared a name – the princess’s full title was Aelin Ashryver Galathynius.

She didn’t seem to be in any hurry to fulfill those orders however. Not that her aversion to commit murder within her own family inspired any lenience on Rowan’s part. In fact, the girl’s unwillingness to stand against the King of Adarlan, combined with her reluctance to follow through with her commands, only solidified her lack of self-discipline.

The princess was a child. Unwilling and incapable of sacrifice. Foreign to real hardship.

A dark cloak lay beside her, too hot to don at the moment. Its removal, however, revealed the only notable items in her possession – two long daggers strapped to her thighs. Quickly and easily reachable. She had a great many other small weapons on her person, both above and below her clothing. Daggers concealed against her forearms and across her shoulders, as well as the backs of her thighs and lower back. Knee-high boots concealed at least four more blades.

It was a miracle she could even move with so much steel on her. Although, it was very well hidden; her beggar’s costume allowed it to be overlooked by even the most careful observer.

She took another swig of sour wine and frowned – the jug was empty. She lay back against the tiles and closed her eyes.

Her body was relaxed, and her face utterly blank. There was no fight in this girl, no challenge. Rowan felt the tiny, pitiful hope deep in his chest wither and die, replaced by a boundless disappointment. She was nothing, not even close to the foe he awaited. She could not bring the death he longed for.

And the fury in Rowan’s gut curdled into hatred.

This girl who could be so much, an agent of change, a beacon of hope for so many, was absolutely nothing. Just another killer. And he hated her for it.

A flock of birds soared past him, curious. Before he could snap his beak at the pests they swooped down to the street, some forty feet below.

Though the girl barely passed for a beggar at the moment, let alone an assassin, the scouting location she’d picked was ideal. From the roof, you could easily see into the massive indoor market below, as well as to the perimeter of the castle walls barely two blocks away. And yet by the angle of the intervening roofs, neither the city guards nor the palace sentries could see where she was surveilling them.

Not that she was making much use of the advantage.

She also hadn’t marked his presence. Rowan was perched in full view, but the princess gave every appearance of being entirely oblivious of his existence, nor had she noticed as he tailed her from the tavern the previous night. Some assassin.

The most likely explanation was that she had never been trained to detect Fae in their animal forms. She certainly hadn’t been trained in any other aspect of her Fae self. Completely useless.

So, he’d just watched her carefully as she wandered through the streets and alleys, then clambered up a drainpipe and collapsed on the terracotta tiles, dead asleep. She led him directly to her hiding place, never suspecting that she had been followed.

But there she had surprised him again.

Rowan had expected her to lead him deep into the slums of Varese, to the secluded outer edges of the city. Where the streets fell into disrepair, only housing boarded up shacks and opium dens and were lined with beggars and homeless vagrants.

Even in Varese, where the wealth was spread between the upper and lower classes, and the guards were more likely to help than hurt the populace, there were still those forced to the fringes of society, to live in back alleys and leech off of the generosity of individuals to feed themselves. An easy place for an assassin to hide.

But instead she had wandered into the very heart of the capital, the center of the lion’s den, barely a hundred yards from her family’s palace.

Yes, the princess had been trained well while hidden away in Adarlan. The rumors about Celaena Sardothien appeared to not have been exaggerated. Even drunken and aimless, the girl moved powerfully, with presence. Her eyes were dark, cold blank walls, but they did little to lessen her swagger. They even helped emphasize it – made her ruthless. Untamed. She could take up space if she wanted to, be someone everyone took notice of. Even him.

Arrogant brat.

Even so, he would never have guessed that such a ghostly frame was supposedly housing power to equal that of Brannon.

He sent a mild wind her way, pulling her scent towards him so that he might get a better feel for that power, to scout for any last unknowns, any tricks up her sleeve. Ensuring that the coming confrontation would go as smoothly as he planned.

The wind whispered to him of dying embers, and fading brightness. She was powerless.

Rowan wanted to get this over with, to face the girl and haul her to Maeve and be done with her. To not let this worthless princess take up another moment of his time and energy. But they were four stories up, and though it infuriated him, Rowan knew he would have to wait until the girl left the roof before he could confront her.

So he sat, watching as the sun climbed to its zenith and began to pass into early afternoon.

···

Eventually, the princess slowly peeled herself off the edge of the roof and moved to clamber unsteadily down the side of the building. Somehow, she managed not to fall and smash herself on the pavement below. Rowan resisted the urge to fly out and push her.  

He waited until the girl was out of sight, then dove from the crumbling brick chimney and into a dark alley adjoining the street below. The shadows were deep enough to engulf the flash of light as Rowan transformed, and landed lightly on his feet.

He had to prevent a violent shudder from wracking his body as the full weight of the slums’ stench hit him for the first time.

Gods, the city reeked.

Refuse, piss, bile – every vile byproduct of human civilization you could think of coated his mouth and tongue, making his eyes water. The humans all lived on top of each other, creating layers of foul reek that permeated the city deep into the earth. Even the water was affected, swirling in pools of revolting stench in every fountain, every trough.

Rowan mastered himself, and advanced towards the mouth of the alley, observing as the princess gracelessly slid to the ground, her mouth forming a silent curse. She leaned against the wall and swayed slightly, blinking and wincing as her eyes adjusted to the rapid change in light.

The girl was too distracted to notice as a female vagrant moved close, shouting, “Slattern! Don’t let me catch you in front of my door again!”

The princess blinked and retreated, confused. A mumbled, “sorry,” escaped her lips while her hands came up to her chest, either to placate or restrain.

Rowan didn’t blame the beggar for becoming territorial. The two women could have been twins – equally ragged and filthy. Amusement at the girl’s confusion washed through Rowan. Obviously, the princess hadn’t had access to a mirror lately, and hadn’t realized that she had now sunk to the lowest of the low – the street urchins, homeless, half-mad and revolting.

Apparently, even deposed royalty still had some standards.

Rowan grinned as the beggar spat out a wad of phlegm onto the cobblestones at the princess’ feet, and then laughed outright at the shocked and disgusted expression on the girl’s face.

The arrogant princess had absolutely no idea what was lying in wait for her, as Rowan carefully stepped out of the shadows of the alley, turning to face the Heir of Ashes.

···

Masterlist / Ao3 / Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

[ridiasfangirlings]

What if the only way a King can 'abdicate' is that a relatively powerful of his clansmen take all the power until consume them at the point of not leaving even a phisical body, then the King is 'free' and the slate gets to choose someone else. What if in S1 being Kusanagi, Anna and Yata the only suitables, Yata sacrifices himself for Mikoto, but holding the power is harder than for a King, so even if casualties are avoided thanks the evacuation there's still heavy damage on the island

I feel like Mikoto would be really against this one, since it would be basically sacrificing the life of one of his people in order to save his own. Especially after losing Totsuka, I think Mikoto would decide that he'd rather just let his Sword fall and (hopefully) have Munakata kill him than make someone else sacrifice themselves in his place. The only way I could see this happening is if for some reason Munakata wasn't able to play his part in that plan, like maybe Colorless manages to successfully waylay Munakata somehow and Mikoto reaches a point where his Sword is falling and the choice becomes either let one of his clansmen take the power and die or let the Sword fall and everyone dies anyway. Like maybe AU where Colorless actually does manage to do some damage when he stabs Munakata at the end of S1, like imagine Colorless uses his powers a bit more and manages to actually badly wound Munakata. Munakata still attempts to go after Mikoto and they fight but he's got a lot of blood loss going on and he ends up collapsing just as Shiro appears with Colorless trapped inside his body. Mikoto takes the opportunity to kill Colorless but when he turns towards Munakata he finds Munakata just lying there collapsed in the snow. Mikoto's Sword is already starting to crumble and he sighs, like great the one time I need you and you're asleep.

Mikoto looks back up at the Sword of Damocles and this is pretty much just a shit choice all around, he knows that once the Sword falls everyone in the vicinity will be destroyed and his clansmen are too close to escape – even from where everyone's evacuated onto the bridge it's still too close. Mikoto walks through the deserted school, trying to decide what to do next and maybe that's when he comes across Yata and Fushimi, who were never dragged off by Kamamoto and were continuing their fight. The imminent destruction of Mikoto's Sword has started destabilizing the landscape and say Fushimi's been knocked out by a bit of crumbling building, when Mikoto comes across them Yata's shaking Fushimi desperately trying to get him to wake up. Yata looks up to see Mikoto, who's staring at him in surprise before telling him he needs to get out of there. Yata stares at Mikoto's Sword and even he knows what that means, just shaking his head like 'M-Mikoto-san...', totally unwilling to believe it. Mikoto reaches down and takes Fushimi's sword, handing it to Yata like 'sorry to make you do this.' Yata shakes his head and says he can't, Mikoto says someone's got to or they're all dead, Yata and Fushimi too. Yata looks down at Fushimi and then drops the sword and holds out his hand instead, saying that Kusanagi mentioned there was a way Mikoto could 'abdicate' if someone strong enough was there, right. Mikoto says Yata doesn't know what he's asking and even though he's scared Yata's like '...yeah. I know. But this is for everybody, right?' Before Mikoto can object Yata grabs his hand and suddenly they're both enveloped by red light.

Back at the bridge everyone sees this huge explosion, not big enough to be a Damocles Down but still something that clearly causes a lot of damage. Awashima runs to the end of the bridge, trying to keep her men back while Kusanagi's keeping the Red clan members in check too. That's when a figure appears walking out of the destruction, everyone moves to see what's happening and Mikoto appears, with Munakata slung over his shoulder and Fushimi in his arms. Both are wounded by alive and Mikoto himself seems unharmed except for a few scratches. Awashima and the alphabet squad run forward to take Munakata and Fushimi while Kusanagi walks over to Mikoto, looking clearly shaken as he realizes that Mikoto doesn't seem to have any King power inside his body. Anna appears from behind him, staring for a long moment before she clutches Kusanagi's pant leg and whispers Yata's name. Kusanagi's hands drop to his sides as he realizes what must have happened, Mikoto walks past him with fists clenched, not saying a word.

In the aftermath I feel like this would make things even more of a mess than canon, because now the Red clan still doesn't have a King but Mikoto's alive (and an obvious target for enemies). Mikoto's just pissed that someone else took his risk for him, feeling very much that he still shouldn't be alive but Yata didn't die for him to give up. I'm sure Fushimi wouldn't ever let him forget who died for him either, like just imagine Fushimi waking up and learning that Yata died to save everyone – or at least to save Mikoto, in Fushimi's mind, and Mikoto telling him that Yata was looking at Fushimi there at the end is no comfort at all. And then Anna still becomes Red King and for Mikoto this is like some cruel joke, that all his important people are taking on the burdens that should have been his and he's too weak now to do anything about it.

[giveasmuchlove]

About Norman

Okay so I’m definitely late to The Promised Neverland but I couldn’t just not write out my thoughts on Norman (and, as it turned out, I touched on everyone else too). I just find him to be one of the most heartbreaking characters with one of the most bittersweet arcs. I know some people are a bit iffy on his character in general but I hope you enjoy my breakdown of his character either way!

I’m gonna try to organize my thoughts here into the following sections (hidden below Keep Reading because this is long and I don’t have a side blog): 

Gracefield House & The Escape from Gracefield Arc

Lambda 

King of Paradise & The Imperial Attack Arc

Post-Imperial Attack Arc

This post will contain spoilers up through Chapter 179. 

To start off: Gracefield House & The Escape from Gracefield Arc

It’s pretty clear throughout the story that Norman’s goals are solely to keep his Emma and his family alive – which aligns with the rest of the characters: Ray’s goal is to save Emma and Norman and then later to protect his whole family, Emma’s goal is to save and protect her whole family. While all of our main characters have the same goal, they each go about it in different ways that evolve as they grow up. As a baseline:

Emma sees things from an idealistic standpoint and she continuously plays to the strengths of those around her. She’s willing to take risks to get a higher reward. She’s not naive in that sense because she’s aware she’s taking these risks. Yes, she faces moments of doubt but as her focus has always been entirely on her family, she’s the character who tends to be more inclined to include them in her plans.

Ray – at the beginning of his character arc – sees things from a more hopeless perspective in which he can only save a few people. His priority is Emma and Norman and then the rest of his family. One could argue he doesn’t actually start to think of any of the other children as family until the end of the Escape from Gracefield Arc but that’s for another essay. What’s super cool about him is that he’s less self destructive as time goes on and, once they do escape, he takes on more of Emma’s ideals. He’s not necessarily against some of the more morally dubious plans but he has faith in Emma’s more hopeful plans because he’s been shown that they work. (in general, I need to write our a full breakdown for Ray)

Norman exhibits similar self-destructive tendencies as Ray when push comes to shove but he never plans his own death, so to speak. At the beginning, always intends to do what he can to make Emma’s more idealistic hopes come true. He focuses on the best result and does whatever it takes to get there (literally, whatever it takes). Early Norman is a nice mix between Ray’s more realistic thinking and Emma’s idealistic dreams. 

Some of my favorite Norman panels during my reread were these from Chapter 4:

If I were to pinpoint the first character beat in Norman’s early characterization, I would say this is it. This is where we can see the building blocks of how Norman will react to particularly challenging situations. Which is, essentially, to use himself in any way necessary so that Emma and his family can live. It’s important to note, though, that he doesn’t exclude himself from his hopes for the future until he feels like he’s about to die. Throughout the whole story (well, at least through chapter 179), Norman wants to live. 

However, since he’s both – as Emma says – very smart and very kind, when Isabella tells them that Norman is being shipped off, he doesn’t do anything to save himself or live alongside them. He prioritizes saving all of the other children and sees any attempt at two separate escapes as futile. And this is what I would consider his second big character beat:

This moment is a catalyst for everything he will become. Essentially, once he learns that the escape was successful, his choice to sacrifice himself is cemented as a ‘success.’ And the interesting thing here is that he’s not exactly wrong. While it’s possible that they all could have escaped together, Norman’s ‘death’ gave them the cover they needed for Don and Gilda to train the rest of the children without Isabella realizing. To him, sacrificing himself/shouldering the burden for his family is a viable option moving forward cause it worked the first time. Which brings us to: 

Part 2: Lambda

We don’t see a lot of Norman in Lambda, but there are a couple of key points that I think are super important for his choices later on:

Norman is kept in isolation, more or less. We do see him interact briefly with Vincent through the cube in one of the flashbacks but other than that, he has no true connection to anyone while inside of Lambda.

Norman’s goals while in Lambda are solely to survive, escape, and reunite with Emma and Ray. However, he doesn’t know what he has to do to stay alive. 

These two factors essentially destabilize him as a person. Emma, Ray, Gracefield – they all gave him something to rely on or someone to trust. Even once the truth about the farms is revealed, they vaguely know what it takes to stay alive and they can lean on each other. Within Lambda, that’s gone completely and, by the time he does escape (which seems to be about a year after the Gracefield escape. They mention that everything he builds is done in about six months), he’s not used to being emotionally vulnerable. This is only exacerbated by the children he saves looking up to him as a godlike figure.  

Essentially, from Lambda up until the moment he reunites with Emma and Ray, Norman is making all the hard decisions and shoulders the burdens of them alone. He’s the one who saves the children from other farms, he’s the one who pulls the lever to kill the non-sentient children, and he’s the one to plan the demon extermination. He has help, but his whole life is focused around the harm caused by demons and the harm he causes them. None of these factors set him up to be willing or able to take a more idealistic approach to saving all the children in the demon world. 

Juxtapose this with Emma and Ray. While they’re absolutely not having a great time either, they are together with their family. They find Mujika and Sonju who save them and teach them about the demon world, they find parental figures in Yuugo and Lucas (and then they loose them *cries*), they expand their family and are relatively ‘safe’ for probably around 6 months to 1 year after Goldy Pond. Since they’re focused on saving everyone through the Seven Walls, they aren’t seeing the atrocities happening inside the experimental and factory farms. They simply aren’t as hardened by the world around them

Shout out to this cover for juxtaposing these two worlds and making me realize Norman was probably in Lambda for quite a while after the escape arc:

King of Paradise & The Imperial Attack Arc

These arcs are where people tend to get a little iffy on Norman’s character because of the genocide plan, the plan to kill Mujika, and his lies to Emma and Ray. But I actually really enjoyed them casting him in this antagonistic protagonist light. I mean his experiences in the year and a half since the escape are just so different that it only makes sense he goes a different way. 

I’m gonna start off this section by talking specifically about how he distances himself and his plans from Emma and Norman. Since they were so important to him in Lambda, him disagreeing with Emma and refusing to slow down his plan can feel a little jarring. But on a reread (I’m telling you TPN is so satisfying to reread), I realized something I hadn’t before – he thinks he’s dying throughout both of these arcs. It only makes sense that he doesn’t get too close to Emma and Ray because they’re the ones who always made him want to live. 

I think the turning point from him being the type of person who would listen to Emma and change his plans according to her wishes to someone who will stay steadfast on the route he’s already on, is when he realized he wouldn’t be able to live:

From this point on, to me, his goals became less centered around “I’m gonna get out of here alive and see my family” and more centered around “how do I ensure my family is safe once I’m gone.” To that end he can’t take unreasonable risks. He can’t try to make a new promise with the demon lord, he can’t try to get all demons the cure under the hope they won’t eat humans once they don’t need to. 

So when Emma asks him to do that, he not only is making a decision based solely off of whether or not it could work or based off of everything demon’s have done to the people he cares about – he’s also making a decision regarding what plan will ensure his family is safe once he is no longer there to save them. It’s an arrogant way of thinking but for a character that believed his initial sacrifice allowed his family to live, it’s not unreasonable for him to think he can create a world that will be safe for them when he dies. 

As for why he doesn’t tell Emma or Ray that he is sick, that’s a little more murky. I would consider this lie to be equal to the lie he tells during the escape arc where he says he’ll run away and doesn’t. On one hand, he doesn’t want them to worry about them – if he’s dying anyways he might not want them to focus solely on that. On the other, he’s convinced his plan is the best one and likely believes they’ll stop him if he tells them. Given that he also says he’ll become a god or a devil to save Emma, it’s likely also part of his god/savior complex (which is why he doesn’t tell those from Lambda). 

A final quick note about his motivations during this section, that comes back in chapter 179. Norman does not believe that the human world will accept them and, given that he won’t be there to help protect everyone, he closes that option off to go with the more certain ‘kill all the demons’ choice. 

It’s only when Emma and Ray call him out on his fears and essentially see right through him, that anything starts to change. While Emma tells him she can see through him in chapter 128, since there isn’t a more feasible option (in his eyes) for saving everyone, and because he still needs to be strong for everyone from Lambda, his actions don’t change. However, the story increasingly points to this not being the way he wants to go from this point on. Basically, I love chapter 128 because it is the start of Norman realizing himself that the path he’s on is not one he particularly wants to be on even if he doesn’t see another way out. 

Chapters 154 and 155 are my some of my favorites simply because the emotional payoff of having all of these pieces come to light is just so good. Norman does realize that he doesn’t want a genocide around chapter 148 but still sees it as the only option. Once he has killed the nobility, put poison in the water, and experimented on demons he sees himself as irredeemable. Emma and Ray coming in and still accepting him and reassuring him until he finally tells them everything – including what he wants to do – is the first major step to Norman healing. Can’t resist adding a trio hug in here – also these children are 13, that’s so young:

Which brings us to: Post-Imperial Attack Arc

There are a couple of things I really like about Norman’s characterization once the guise of Minerva/all knowing leader drops. First of all, there are some frames where he looks like he’s the same age as Emma and Ray again. I didn’t talk too much about how Norman is drawn throughout this but I really love how Posuka drew him to look taller/older in scenes where he was more distanced/focused on his plan to kill all demons. There’s definitely some theories out there about how the medication made him age faster as well, so it’s just so nice to see him look young again.

Alright, how much I love the art aside, basically once they get through to him in the Imperial Capital, Norman does become a lot like his younger self however, one of the things I really appreciate about it is that he’s not completely back. In general he does seem a bit more out of it in the Return to Gracefield arc than the other characters around him. While Emma sobs over Peter Ratri, he just looks on (which, who can blame him, that’s the guy responsible for everything he went through at Lambda), he doesn’t hug Phil but rather thanks him for protecting their siblings. He’s also the most unaffected by Isabella’s death of the trio – which would make sense. To him, death is a consistent and very real part of life and he hasn’t been protected from it in any way. It’s little touches like that that allow him to feel like he’s the same person as he was during the first arc and that he’s the same person as he was during the Paradise/Imperial City arcs. 

I think this the fact that he has not fully recovered is cemented – in the most heart breaking way – when they’re separated from Emma when they make it to the human world. A couple other people have done great breakdowns on the difference in reactions between Ray and Norman so I’m just gonna lightly touch on them. 

For Ray:

It’s been said before but Ray truly trusts Emma. He has complete faith in her and she has never given him a reason to doubt her. They’ve been leading their group together for almost two years and his response reflects that. He thinks he should have done something but he doesn’t think she did anything to break his trust or leave him alone.

For Norman

Norman, on the other hand, pretty much fully regresses in this moment. Not only does he blame himself but he also blames her. This, to me, cements the idea that he is still on what is probably a fairly long journey to a healthy mindset. Because, in his original plan, she would have been fine. What the current scenario relays to him is basically that the first time he truly let go of his plans, it resulted in the loss the most important person to him. 

The second part of his thought process is blaming Emma. Which is why I think it’s really important to remember that they just reunited a couple of weeks ago (I believe, feel free to fact check me) after over a year of being apart. During that time, he was not able to share the burden with anyone else or trust anyone (emotionally speaking). So, in this moment, he has no reason to trust that she wasn’t lying to them. On top of that we can add in the idea that he also feels betrayed on an emotional level because he opened up for the first time in over a year because of Emma and, in return, she hid her burdens from him. 

Of course, he sets this aside to agree to look for Emma later in the chapter – agreeing that it doesn’t matter why she isn’t there – and I think his last statement “We won’t let you be alone” is a really nice reference/call out to how she wouldn’t let him be alone. In a way, that kind of sentiment helps overcome his more trauma-based inclinations. 

Given that there’s only one chapter left after this weekend, I doubt we’ll get a whole lot more on his character – at least in terms of gradual progression – but I do think he has been one of the most fascinating characters in the TPN universe to really think about. And I do think he is on the path to healing, even if it’s bumpy. Here’s all my hopes for a happy ending for all of them!

(If they don’t find a cure for the seizures and he dies I will be devastated)

[marvellouslymadmim]

Alright, Hicsqueakers and Hacklers, gather round and lemme try to put out this dumpster fire.

Be ye warned, this is gonna be a long one. Grab your cup of tea, snuggle under your blanket, and get ready. Spoilers for latest episode, natch.

First: I’m going to list referenced episodes as 1.07 (season one.episode seven), just for ease of reading.

Now. Before we go into the issues of 3.07, we need to stop, take off our twenty-first century nonmagical viewers goggles, and put on the perspective of the times.

Witching society is obviously a very small subset of the population. These people were hunted down, burned at the stake, drowned alive, and tortured in dozens of horrific ways for DECADES, even CENTURIES. They left the nonmagical world for a reason. They established a way to never be seen by these people again for a reason. They established strict rules about never entering that world again for a reason.

They also, as in most extremely small and fragile societies, created a world where the safety and continuation of the whole are always above the desires of the individual. Always.

Let’s add in the fact that punishment is still very Draconian. Agatha attempts to take over her sister’s school in the very first episode—but her actual crime is using magic to manipulate the will of others and attempting to subvert existing birth hierarchy (again, this endangers the whole and creates instability in the system of society). She is therefore stripped of her powers so that she cannot harm the greater whole again. 

Now when she returns and pretends to be Ada (1.5), her crime is again pretty much the same issues, though she’s less of a threat due to her lack of magic (as evidenced in Hecate’s later reaction to Miss Mould, losing your magic is apparently a fate worse than death in their society). She’s imprisoned for an indefinite length of time, though the general reaction to her actions is much milder. It seems that taking away her powers was deemed punishment enough, even for future crimes.

When she returns as “rightful” headmistress, she endangers the future of witching society by putting the students directly in harms way. She also threatens to destabilize all of magical society by turning the Great Wizard into a balloon (this is akin to attempting to assassinate a president, in a way), and once more proves a lack of regard for the whole (trapping witches in paintings, turning people in snails, frogs, etc) that could ultimately endanger the entire society. She has proven that she holds no regard for the continued existence of her fellow magical peoples, and therefore is a threat to the greater whole. Her final punishment not only mirrors one of her crimes, but also ensures she cannot commit any more.

Now, in the scheme of things, Gullet’s punishment, although exactly the same, seems a bit harsh at first—but when you realize that she also shows the same lack of regard (turning Rowan-Webb into a toad for years), and an ever greater level of crime against witching society—she turned witching children into cakes to feed to other children, without hesitation or remorse. She was willing to sacrifice the future and continuation of their society, to follow Agatha’s aim. While Agatha allowed children to be put in harm’s way, she never quite actively attempted to bring about their deaths, at least not to the same extent as Gullet.

When Marigold Mould loses her powers and gives up the future powers of her offspring, Hecate mentions that “Perhaps [the Great Wizard] will be lenient, as you have already paid such a high price.” As seen in the story of Millie’s ancestor, giving up magic to ensure the continuation of magic for others is considered the greatest act of sacrifice a witch can commit—because again, it places the needs of the whole above that of the individual. Once again, Marigold’s greatest crime is placing future generations of witches in danger (I mean, freezing to death and losing magic is a big deal), which she counters by sacrificing her magic in order to ensure a future for those same witches. It isn’t that Marigold has shown remorse that will make the Great Wizard lenient—it’s that she has ensured the safety and continuation of their society.

Keep this in mind as we go back to Joy.

Joy did more than just put a few students in danger. She endangered the entire witching world. By going out into the nonmagical world repeatedly, she first created a danger to herself, a future witch who would have been fully expected to help continue and expand her society. In a society so small, every life is precious and vital to that continuation. And through being seen by Indigo, she proved that the magical community was at-risk for being seen and rediscovered. And re-persecuted, all over again. Remember, witch hunts are a very big part of her people’s history.

Now it makes sense that for the rest of her time as a student as Cackle’s, she would be confined to the school. I mean, if you were nearly expelled for continuously leaving school grounds (which is a major safety issue just for young Joy herself), the only way to avoid expulsion would be to promise you wouldn’t leave campus again for the rest of your tenure at said school. Students being magically bound is a common punishment, as seen by Mildred and Maud being bound to their rooms (1.02).

But Hecate mentions that her decision to make Indigo a witch happened during “one half-term when [I] was more lonely than ever”. Meaning she was there during holidays, too. You can see this several ways: (1)Hecate’s confinement extended to holidays as well (a bit extreme, even with the circumstances), (2)Hecate’s parents were never around to receive her during the holidays (due to travel, job location, or whatever), (3)Hecate is an orphan, or (4)that after finding out she had been going into the nonmagical world, her parents ostracized her and wished to punish her further by refusing to let her come home during holidays. Of all these options, I think 1 seems the least likely in comparison.

And this is where Joy’s crime becomes a capital offense. Beyond a mere child being headstrong and curious about the world outside.

She didn’t just go out into the nonmagic world and put herself at risk. She brought a nonmagic person back with her, and then gave her magic, not only creating a powerful chaotic force and exposing her fellow students to the unbridled power of Indigo’s magic, but also potentially exposing her entire society to the nonmagical world. She opened up a chance of exposure and renewed persecution and destruction for her entire people.

This is akin to a Jewish child hiding out in Germany, befriending a Nazi officer’s child and then bringing said child into the attic to meet the family, teaching the friend all the tricks and hiding places and then expecting everything to be just fine. Sure, this may end well, but the odds are in much higher favor of it ending in disaster.

Given the response to any measure that threatens the whole, it’s a wonder that she got off as leniently as she did. At best, it should have been some form of imprisonment and loss of magic powers (like Agatha). At worst…death, to be honest.

But neither of those things happened. At this point, there were two options on how to handle Joy Hardbroom: make a public example out of her, or help cover it up.

All signs point to a cover up.

If she had been made a public example, she wouldn’t be teaching. She would still be in some form of punishment, and everyone would have known her story (it is important to make crime and punishment extremely public in this small world, lest anyone try to repeat the offense). She would have been ostracized completely--you can’t allow someone with such dangerously subversive ideas go out and mingle with the rest, possibly spreading the disease.

Now we need to highlight Hecate’s initial devotion to the Great Wizard during season one.  She is a disobedient witch, a woman in general, and a witch with a staff. There is not a single thing about her that makes her favorable in his eyes. And yet, she is almost zealous in her regard of him. Why?

Perhaps because when she was a scared and shaking child, he showed her mercy, when he had no reason to. When the law strictly showed that she should have been punished with absolute impunity, he chose to give her another chance. When she should have been stripped of all powers and cast out, he allowed her to keep her magic and to remain in society.

However, as the show progresses and she sees his harshness with the younger generations, she begins to realize that the young Great Wizard who had been her savior had turned into the dark and dour old world view which he had saved her from. How bitter that disappointment must have been for her.

Again I want to highlight the fact that if Joy Hardbroom had truly been sentenced to some kind of punishment and made an example of, then Millie would already know the story of Joy and Indigo Moon. Maud would know it, every little witchling would know it. But they don’t.

Which means that someone chose not to make an example of Joy.

Now, we need to think about the sheer impossibility that all of these powerful witches and wizards, with all these books and spells at their disposal, somehow didn’t know or couldn’t find a way to reverse what had happened to Indigo Moon.

Hecate tells Mildred that it can’t be undone. She simply says there is nothing they can do.

So. What if. Hecate’s true punishment isn’t confinement. It’s being forbidden from ever returning Indigo Moon to life. Living with the guilt of knowing she effectively murdered her best friend, and is forbidden from ever bringing her back. And she’s told never to speak about it, never to tell the truth about what happened.

And in the weirdest version of Ride or Die ever, Hecate chooses to remain close to Indigo, never letting her ever be truly alone. If Hecate leaves Cackle’s, she leaves Indigo alone in the woods forever. She couldn’t do that.

From what little we know of them, Hecate’s parents have every hallmark of being absolute strict authoritarians. The idea of Hecate breaking further rules by bringing Indigo to Cackle’s and putting their entire world in danger would have been shameful. They would have ostracized her completely (or you can take another route and say she was an orphan, no parents to take her in anyways). Either way, let’s assume she is virtually without a familial support system at this point.

Cackle’s is a tuition-free school (1.01). But other school’s offer scholarships, implying that most are fee-based (1.09). So when Hecate’s final term comes to close, she’s left with an awful reality: she has no financial support in the world. She’s stayed at Cackle’s, completely cared for in a monetary sense. But universities cost money. And she’s a teenager with no usable life skills, no way to support herself through something as expensive as being a college student.

And Pippa. Her dear friend, Pippa, who refused to give up on her, after all this time. You can take two routes here: (1) Pippa doesn’t know about Indigo AT ALL, because Hecate kept it an absolute secret until the end, (2) Pippa is aware of Indigo but doesn’t know about what happened to her because Indigo’s time and subsequent death at the academy all happened during summer half-term, because Hecate has been forbidden about ever talking about the matter, or (3) Pippa knows everything and her insistence on rekindling her friendship with Hecate is even more important to her because it would also signify that Hecate has, in some small way, begun to forgive herself, and Pippa desperately wants her friend to be able to do just that. My personal theory is on options 1 and 2, I’ll explain why later.

Young Pippa is talking about colleges and traveling the world (and yes, see the nonmagical world, too!), and Hecate just…can’t. She can’t risk ever going to the outside world again, can’t risk getting pulled into its wonder and its own magic again, can’t afford going to university—and even if she could, she can’t abandon Indigo. She can’t be so cruel, can’t condemn her best friend to an eternity trapped in stone while she jets off and has a happy, fulfilled life.

But she can’t tell Pippa all this. Not because Pippa won’t understand—but because Pippa will stay, too, Pippa will give up her dreams to help Hecate, will find a way to ease the pain and guilt that Hecate feels she justly deserves.

So Hecate ghosts her friend. And years later, when Pippa asks why, Hecate simply says that she didn’t think Pippa would want her “getting in your way”. Pippa assumes it’s about popularity (this is why I think Pippa doesn’t know about Indigo’s fate), and Hecate is still too afraid to tell the truth, so she just rolls with that explanation. But she really means that she feared getting in the way of Pippa’s hopes and dreams with her own sad reality.

How this helps Hicsqueakers: This doesn’t erase Hicsqueak AT ALL. Hecate has a legit reason for ghosting Pippa now. And Pippa has a legit way to overcome that. Hecate can finally tell the truth, saying she’s always feared how Pippa would react, and Pippa can show her love and forgiveness and how to forgive herself in the process. Tough, angsty stuff, but that’s basically part and parcel of the Hiqsqueak world, amirite? I know you guys can make it work into something beautiful.

Now Hecate realizes that she cannot leave Cackle’s—she is not bound by magic anymore, but rather her own sense of duty and penance. She pleads her case before Alma, desperate to stay, to do anything in order to stay.

She has no money, no family to fall back on, no where to go. She is utterly alone in the world, all because of a grievous choice she made as a child. She is forever burdened with the knowledge that her reckless actions cost a young girl her life and her future, and also stunted her own in the process.

Alma Cackle lets her stay. I don’t think it’s entirely out of pity. She sees a usefulness in having an extra hand at the Academy—because Hecate must certainly earn her keep. And it’s hard to keep staff when you’re a free tuition school, who most likely has to offer lower salary rates and more than a few budget cuts.

And Hecate does earn her keep. Perhaps she works in the kitchens (would explain odd animosity between her and Miss Tapioca), or on the grounds, or even as an auxiliary (in the US we call them teacher’s aides?). I would like to think that Alma does still pay her salary, though it’s probably considerably less than her fellow staff.

Hecate finds that she can atone for her sins, a bit, by instilling a respect for the craft in future generations of witches. If she stops just one from sharing her fate, it will be enough.

And she truly falls in love with making potions. It’s a world of exactitudes, a world where her ability to do things perfectly, without making a mistake, results in wondrous things. She can be perfect, in this world. She can ensure she never makes a mistake. She can, in some small way, prove that she isn’t Joy anymore, she is calm and logical and a rule-follower. She is good and worthy. She is redeemed, even if only for a little while.

And then Ada returns to the Academy, after her own years of college and generally trying to avoid her fate as the next headmistress. Ada begins teaching, and eventually she’s assigned Miss Hardbroom as an aide for a particularly large class. She finds the woman endearing, in an odd way. It’s after she learns of Hecate’s skill in potions, she pushes to have her replace the outgoing potions mistress—as a teacher in her own right.

It’s a bit outrageous. After all, Hecate doesn’t have a formal degree. She has no credentials, no accredited training as an instructor. But Ada doesn’t care. Ada pushes Alma to take the risk anyways. She’s relentless, she can’t help but love a lost cause. By now, she’s fully aware of the story of Joy Hardbroom. This is too much like the story of her sister, condemned to be wicked before she’s even out of childhood, set for a life of bitterness and regret. No. She won’t let it happen again. She will make a change, for someone, even if it isn’t Agatha.

And Hecate strives to prove herself worthy of this monumental chance she’s been given. She will bring pride and glory back to Cackle’s, by helping produce the greatest witches their society has ever seen. She hasn’t truly left the Academy in years now, it is the only place that feels safe—and now Ada makes it even feel like home.

How this helps Hacklers: this explains crucial points of Ada and Hecate’s admiration and devotion to each other. Also, Hecate’s choice to stay removes the icky Stockholm Syndrome air. Given what we see of Hecate’s personality now, it’s obvious that she holds herself to an extremely high standard, which implies she felt her own punishment wasn’t strict enough for her crimes--had she been forced into lifelong imprisonment and basically forced labor, I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t feel this way. This still builds on the idea of Ada helping Hecate become more self-forgiving, and their continued arc of helping each other through dark times.

And Gwen Bat has seen it all. The reckless headstrong Joy Hardbroom, the consequences of her actions, the light extinguishing as she becomes sad and solemn Hecate, the way Ada finds friendship with Hecate and brings her back to some sense of belonging.

And Gwen Bat remembers. She gasps, “After all Ada did for you!” when it seems that Hecate betrays Ada in Selection Day. And because Gwen remembers, she doesn’t get too upset over Hecate’s uptight ways. She stills sees little Joy, so desperate to prove herself, so desperate to save another girl from her own mistakes. 

So Hecate Hardbroom remains. Not a prisoner of a magical punishment, but rather a prisoner of her own making. Keeping other little girls from falling under the spell of the nonmagical world. Keeping herself in line, proving to all those who gave her a second chance that it was a chance well taken, that she is loyal to her people, that she is rehabilitated.

And keeping Indigo company, from time to time. Keeping her promise that they stay together, always. Because some parts of Joy cannot ever be erased.

[bonesingerofyme-loc]

Asgard High Council: ‘Supreme Commander Thor, you have spent some time now liaising with the humans of the Tau’ri. Your submitted opinion to the Council is that the Asgard Fleet should endeavor to offer all possible aid and assistance to this single world. Explain.’

Thor: ‘That is correct. In the time that I have known the Tau’ri and their organization called ‘Stargate Command’, I have come to the conclusion that, as a people, the Tau’ri represent the best possible hope for the Milky Way galaxy and even our own people.’

Asgard High Council: ‘Is it not a matter of record that the Tau’ri are directly responsible for serious breaches of the Protected Planets Treaty, not to mention placing Asgard-protected projects at severe risk of termination?’

Thor: ‘You are correct. The Tau’ri have proven themselves to be willful and difficult to direct. They are headstrong and have little respect for safeguards.’

Asgard High Council: ‘You admit freely that the Tau’ri are irresponsible?’

Thor: ‘Those were not my words, Councilors. I admit that the Tau’ri are rash and that they make mistakes. I do not term them irresponsible.’

Asgard High Council: ‘Expand on this, Supreme Commander.’

Thor: ‘The Tau’ri temper their rashness with a sense of personal responsibility that I have not seen outside of our own people. In the past, they have endangered worlds in their ignorance and desire for exploration. But when they learned of their mistake, they did not shy from accepting their burden in repairing their error. They would dedicate everything, even their lives, to undo their mistake.’

Asgard High Council: ‘You say that the Tau’ri are willing to correct their actions, but does this extend to learning from them? According to reports on their activities, this ‘Stargate Command’ has a proven record of making similar mistakes over and over again in ignoring safety protocols and stepping into situations that they are not part of.’

Thor: ‘Councilors, you must realize that we have placed the Tau’ri in a box. We built this box out of compassion for the human species in the face of the predations of the Goa’uld. But it is a cage of our own making, and their mistakes are our own. Their misdeeds cannot be blamed on malice. They are poking their prison and trying to find the truth beyond it. I believe this is their greatest strength.’

Asgard High Council: ‘Their strength is their ignorance?’

Thor: ‘I believe so. When they discovered the System Lord Ra on Abydos, the Tau’ri did not understand why they should fear him. They did not understand the threat they had challenged or what it could mean for their world. In their ignorance they saw a tyrant and they saw innocent lives threatened. We know the result.’

Asgard High Council: ‘The System Lord Ra was slain, inciting unrest and destabilizing the fragile political situation of the Council of System Lords in the Milky Way. Many wars have been fought between Goa’uld that would not have been if Ra still lived. Many millions of lives have been lost, Supreme Commander.’

Thor: ‘The Tau’ri cannot be held responsible for the actions of the Goa’uld. Indeed, I would argue the Tau’ri already feel responsible when they should not. Stargate Command has taken on the burden of an entire galaxy, Councilors. They have decided that it is their duty to free every human and every Jaffa languishing under the slavery of the System Lords. This is not their responsibility. It was ours. The legacy of the Four Races was ours to uphold, Councilors, and we have failed. In their ignorance, the Tau’ri have taken up the mantle themselves.

The Tau’ri look at the world around them and they do not accept it. They will change what they do not accept, no matter how illogical the attempt may be. The Tau’ri would stop the sun in the sky if they must. As a culture, Councilors, we are dying. For two thousand years we have maintained a stalemate with the System Lords, too fearful of loss to do what is right. We maintain ourselves as watchful guardians, but all we have watched is slavery and death. We see the reality of the universe and we accept it in humility and shame. 

The Tau’ri rage, Councilors, they rage against the injustice of existence. 

They rage against tyranny, they die for worlds they have never known and never will. They fight a war their world knows nothing about, so that soldiers crippled fighting lightyears away return home and speak not at all of the sacrifice they make not for their country, but for their species. They do not look at the stars and see species so far beyond them as gods but as challenges. They look at the armadas of the Goa’uld that can darken the skies of Earth and they do not fear, they wonder how to defeat them. They build their own starships in mimicry and in challenge and would send one against thousands. They know that at any moment death can come for them all. The Protected Planets treaty is a lie. We know it, as do the System Lords. 

But they fight, Councilors. They fight every day. 

And they have not lost their wonder. For every warrior they send, they send a scientist. For every rifle they build they print a book. 

The Tau’ri are what we were. They are what we could have been.

They are the Fifth Race, Councilors, and I will do all in my power to stand with them.’

[thewillowbends]

Thoughts on Lucifer (TV) Season 4

So I've spot-rewatched parts of season 4, and I've more or less got a sense for what did and did not work for me.  Lucifer is the kind of trash television I reluctantly love because I enjoy the characters so much, even as they are stuck in a painful mishmash of bad writing with the occasional moment of brilliance carried along by dedicated and talented actors.

SEASON 4 SPOILERS AHEAD OBVS

Let's get what I didn't like out of the way first -

Stuff That Makes Me Cringe

1.)  Up first is my completely shallow dislike for the new devil makeup.  The wings were really well done, but the face/body is kind of meh to me.  It's not badly designed, per se, but it's definitely narm territory in some places.  (While I do like the whole "king of hell" scene at the end and what it portends in terms of Lucifer's final decision, it is hilariously campy, too.)  In my opinion, season two and three still feature the best up-close devil look, particularly in the reveal scene to Linda.  It's disturbing in an uncanny valley sort of way that gets lost with the heavier makeup, and also...the wet blood is a really nice, creepy touch that I'm sad got dumped after the first try!

Also shallow opinion - Tom Ellis is fine as hell, don't get me wrong, and I appreciate that he worked out like crazy for this season, but I actually kind of miss his slightly less muscular look from the earlier seasons.  I feel like he's a guy who looks better with shoulders that are a tad less broadly defined, yeah?  It felt like it made more sense for Lucifer to be well built but not hyper muscular, since he wasn't a warrior in the way, say, Amenadiel or Michael were.  Samael was the tempter - he's built for beauty and desire, with kind of a sly appeal to him.

2.)  Eve.  I really like Eve as a character over all, but I do wish her motivations were explored more explicitly.  I do really like the vaguely feminist undertones of her story, that she's a woman whose entire life has been dictated to her by God and husband, and her decision to leave Heaven is a rebellion against that, a desire to pursue what she wants for herself even as she struggles to break free of old patterns.  While the story does seem to suggest this is her true motivation, I do wish it was given a little more individual reflection.  The thing I find the most poorly handled about her character is the punishment fascination.  I get that it's part of her tendency to try and mold herself into what she thinks the men in her life want, good or bad, but I would've liked more clarity on whether it held any personal appeal to her - i.e. she discusses her son, Cain, but there's little attention given to what it must have been like for her to watch him walk the Earth cursed, much less losing her son Abel to Hell.  Does she resent God?  Is she angry that human life is so short yet the recompense for a life well or poorly lived is so permanent?  Does she feel like her life was stolen for her in a way that other human's choices weren't?

She's already a foil for Lucifer in that she's daring to go against God's plan to explore her own freedom of choice, with the major caveat being that she left Heaven willingly in contrast to his exile.  So while I do feel she was a relatively well rounded character (as far as she could be with what they wanted to do with her), a little more exploration of those motivations was in order, but I absolutely would love for her to come back in a potential season five.  She has a lot of opportunities for growth and a lot of directions they could take her.

3.)  Mazikeen.  I'm actually not completely unhappy with the direction of her story.  It feels like a natural continuation of her struggles in season 3, learning how to "human" and find her place in the world, but the problem is she isn't being given much to do outside of that.  I like that her relationship with Linda is emotionally complicated (it's honestly one of the best female friendships on the show) with elements of platonic, erotic, and maternal love woven into it, but that the story is making it clear she still needs to learn how to develop herself independently.  In season 2, Lucifer states that Maze is like a "baby bird  that imprints on anything near."  Now that we know demons are naturally inclined to want leadership and direction, that actually provides a literal context for why she's clinging to Linda for purpose afterwards.  We just need to move that into a more strongly defined character arc.  Since we know have the Lilim introduced as a legitimate threat, I feel like that's a no-brainer for what should happen if season five occurs with her.  Let's see a storyline with Maze dealing with her family history (the Lilith), having to confront the fact that Hell is no longer her home, while grappling with a life on Earth minus the companion she's had for nearly all of her existence (Lucifer).  Let her evolve into a fully fleshed out character.

4.)  Cain.  I'm not sad to see him go out with a whimper since they clearly had no idea what to do with his character in season 3, but the fallout gets completely brushed over way too easily.  There's no way a federally investigated criminal revealed to be chief of the LA police wouldn't lead to absolute chaos in the precinct for quite a bit afterwards, and God knows, Chloe certainly would've been under the microscope for her role in what went down.  It would've made more sense to have a throwaway line about how she was suspended for a month and kept away LA proper for a few weeks until they made certain the danger was clear and the drama had settled down media-wise.

5.)  Chloe.  I'll be up front that I actually don't mind her more dramatic response to Lucifer's face.  For how easy it is to want to imagine she would handle it better, we've seen pretty much everybody freak the hell out when they see it, so she really shouldn't have been different.  The context also matters significantly here - she encountered it at a violent crime scene shortly after he killed a person.  HUGE difference from how a lot of the other characters were introduced to the truth.  So I don't find her characterization completely OOC there, but what I wouldn't give for just one more episode this season exploring her feelings during that period, what drove her to Europe, what destabilized her sense of who and what Lucifer is.  What I do like is that we got to see her make mistakes and have to answer for them - up until this point, it's been about Lucifer improving who he was to be somebody worth pursuing, but here we finally get to see Chloe's flaws, her struggles to be the better person she wants to be, to get told 'you f*cked up' and have to accept that she's possibly missed her chance.  I felt like her relationship with Eve was well done, that they didn't go the easy route of them being catty with each other all season, but that each provided a different but ultimately legitimate perspective on Lucifer's complicated character.  She could easily be set up as a primary protagonist of season five now with all the changes she's going through.

6.)  The Father Kinley plot.  I actually have no real problem with it for the most part - it provides a central antagonist that is far more threatening than Cain ever was, but I do wish they'd rethought the story of his introduction to Chloe.  It seems to me it would've made more sense for him to seek her out in America.  As a writer, I would've kept Chloe relatively local and had her confessing her fears and secrets to a local church pastor - who could have contacted the Vatican and brought Kinely to her in L.A.  That would've conveyed a sense of Kinley's operation being part of a vast network of religious authorities "in the know" and provided a possible set up for later conflicts if there were others out there like him.  Kinley actively seeking her out would've also reinforced her sense of how dangerous Lucifer is knowing that authorities had been tracking him for years, which could have undermined her own beliefs about who he is.

7.)  The Caleb plot.  I get what they were trying to do, and I appreciate that the show attempted to go there even as it is didn't fully succeed in treating the subject matter as well as it should have.  I get that it's meant to show us that life can be unfair, and that embracing the right to free will comes with the potential cost of suffering, that we must accept the risks of loving and caring for each other.  However, at the end of the day, you have a male POC killed off for a plot that ultimately leads nowhere, and that's...not great.  I mean, I'd rather them try and stumble then completely ignore such things, but it's definitely not the season's shining moment.

8.)  Other thing this season didn't shine on - the pacing.  I get why it happened, since these writers are used to having more leeway to work with time-wise, and ten episodes is not a whole lot to pack in all of the emotional and story conflicts, but the first four episodes in particularly really feel strained.  Even the humor feels slightly off kilter, like they were struggling to find the right tone.  It's better than season three's tendency to sacrifice pathos for humor, but to date, season two remains their best work in terms of the over all pacing and tone.

9.)  Dan.  His backsliding and self-destructive behavior makes sense in light of his depression and sense of powerlessness, but it does feel redundant in light of Lucifer's own backsliding in season 3 and even here.  Frankly, Dan has a legitimate point about how their tendency to write off Lucifer's worse behavior doesn't help him in the long run, but he's, y'know, one to talk.  I honestly think the best direction for his character in season five is to leave the police force.  In particular, I would not be unhappy to see him team up with Mazikeen to fight some supernatural demon crime, actually.  I feel like their relationship has a lot of potential.

10.)  Dan/Ella.  I don't hate it, per se, but I'm just very neutral on it.  The age difference is a little off-putting (he's fortyish, divorced with a kid, yo, and she's clearly a twenty-something), but I don't mind it being a hook up that occurred when they were both in a low place.  I'm uncertain if I want to see it go beyond that.

11.)  Remiel is a lot of fun, but I vacillate over whether her presence is particularly significant in light of Amenadiel's ultimate decision to stay on Earth.  I highly suspect she's being introduced now as a placeholder for further events down the road if the show gets renewed.  She's clearly there to generate conflict in Amenadiel rather than be the conflict itself, but I wonder if they plan on making Charlie's existence more of an issue if the series progresses.

12.)  As always, I appreciate that the series' maintains an unflagging dedication to diversity.  They cast an Israeli Jewish women as Eve.  All of Lucifer's siblings have been POC.  The show has probably MORE bisexual members in the cast than any other mainstream series that I've seen.  It's not perfectly handled, it it definitely has its stumbles where race and LGBT+ content is concerned, but it's trying.  That's more than I can say for most series.

The Stuff That Gives Me Life:

1.)  Tom Ellis acting the shit out of that script, no matter how ridiculous the scenes they gave him were.  I really appreciate that he's so gung-ho for giving his all to the character even when the material fails to rise to the occasion.  Respect, too, for what I assume was basically him living in a gym for the past year.  If Leslie Ann Brandt had to squeeze herself into leather pants two months after giving birth, I appreciate that he rose to the occasion for getting naked all over the place and providing an ass tight enough to bounce a quarter off it.

2.)  Lucifer's character development was on point for me across the entire season.  I feel like everything we saw building up from previous seasons - the anger, the grief, the self-inflicted wounds he refused to let heal - finally came together here.  That moment at the end of episode eight is the perfect culmination of his character development, the painful realization he has about who really is responsible for everything that's happened to him.  And now he can start making the real journey to being a better person.  What happens at the end of the season is exactly what was bound to happen, no matter what story came before, because he needed to recognize the importance of punishment as a LESSON about the consequences of our actions.  Responsibility sometimes means sacrificing what we want to protect what we care about.  That's actually a rather clever nod to the comic version of the character who ultimately had to give up his individual existence to achieve total freedom - this version chooses submission out of recognition that to love and be loved, to be good is to be fettered to our responsibility to others.

(Which makes me really wonder if they are going to eventually push a story where Lucifer becomes a true king of Hell - not only a tyrant who deals punishment and controls the demonic masses but one who begins to show mercy and help some of those souls find release and forgiveness.  Ah well, don't worry friends, if they don't write it in show, I'm already writing it in a fanfic.)

3.)  Deckerstar 4 lyfe.  I didn't expect them to wind up together because they weren't there yet, but it ended on such a pitch perfect note.  Something this show has done remarkably well is avoid the idea of Chloe as the sole source of motivation for Lucifer to improve himself.  It's emphasized over and over again that he has to want it, that he's the one who had to desire the good in himself.  The worthiness comes with the recognition that you want to be worthy of love - and that you are.  Lucifer had to come much farther than she did, but it was nice to see the dynamic switched up a bit with Chloe having to grow, mature, and reconcile herself to her mistakes.

4.)  Eve was MUCH better as a character than I'd thought.  I'm a little smug about predicting so much about her, but that's not an entirely terrible thing.  While her storyline isn't perfect, I did like that it's a deconstruction of an idea of the "perfect woman/partner."  Eve is in love with the idea of Lucifer and the idea of who she can be with him, not so much the reality of who they are.  It makes me a little sad because I do think if they'd met at a point where she was further along in her character development, or he wasn't already in love with Chloe and so far ahead of her in growth, they could have actually worked and fallen in love with each other.  And that's fine!  Part of the point it's making with her character is how important our individual journeys are.  At the end, Eve recognizes she needs to figure out who she is outside of God's plan or what she THINKS is what she wants.  That honesty toward the end, that she really left Heaven for *herself* and not for Lucifer, is a huge revelatory character point that can go a lot of places next season.

5.)  The demons.  Just...everything with Dromos is gold to me.  From his initial excitement at seeing Lucifer to his frustrated attempts to reason with him...to being much craftier and scarier than anybody possibly expected.  Regardless of how we look at it, he played the endgame to the benefit of his stated purpose - loyalty to the infernal throne.  Hell has a king again, one way or another.  And now we have an established threat to keep Lucifer in line over the next couple of seasons, as well as tying up the arc that was begun all the way back in season 1.

6.)  Pulling in the Vatican and a secret society of "in the know" sects was wise.  While I wish the introduction had been slightly different, it leaves open opportunities for later.

7.)  MY GIRL LINDA.  Rachel Harris is such an underrated part on the show.  She has such great chemistry with Ellis in the therapy scenes, and her becoming a mother feels like a natural extension of the underlying maternal element she provides the show.  I like that we get to see her outside of the office now, engaging in a story of her own, which allows her to stay in the cast without losing significance of no longer being Lucifer's therapist.

8.)  AMENADIEL.  He's probably had the strongest and most well directed character development out of any secondary cast member on the show.  Having him forfeit his power to stay on Earth with the humans he loved is such a nice touch, but I like that it was a decision he had to wrestle with.  The idea of human life necessarily being complicated, messy, even unfair and unkind fits well with the theme of responsibility for our choices.  If he stays on Earth, he has to accept that his son will not have a perfectly Heavenly life, that to be human is to accept all that comes with it.  DB Woodside has great chemistry with the cast, and I'm looking forward to seeing what they'll do with him in future seasons.

9.)  Lucifer holding baby Charlie for two seconds, awkwardly cooing at him, then immediately passing him off like a hot potato.  That's real character development, guys.

10.)  Amenadiel saying goodbye forever to Lucifer in the baby ward, for what is ultimately and tragically not the reason he expects it to be the last time he gets to say it.  Woodside and Ellis have such great chemistry.

11.)  Ella's loss of faith is handled pretty well.  I appreciate that she had to reclaim it herself and not because she got to see the divine is real.  Fits nicely with the theme that we have to actualize our own beliefs and realities.

12.)  LGBT+ representation was better this season.  It's too late for Lucifer's pansexuality to have any real meaning at this point, but I appreciate him stroking the guy's face while using his eye voodoo in episode 1.  Little touches like that make the "Bi the way" aspect of his character seem less tacked on.  Mazikeen, on the other hand, is where things got much better - she's actually seen dating both men and women, having difficulty parsing her complex emotional relationship with Linda, being openly attracted to and pursuing Eve (also openly bisexual).  Please don't disrupt this improvement next season by giving her a male love interest, Netflix, I'm begging you.  Give us at least SOMETHING here.  She's got the most open-ended story for a relationship, and her development is clearly suggesting she wants family to call hers outside of what she has with the rest of the cast.  (I know I was saying I low key ship her with Dan, BUT I TAKE IT BACK.)

13.)  The dragon wings are admittedly very cool looking.  I prefer the more streamlined devil makeup otherwise from seasons 2 and 3, but the wings can stay.  I imagine the amount of fic tagged "wing kink" on Ao3 is going to increase several fold now.  (Yes, that is an actual thing.)

14.) Lauren German showing up to play this season!  She finally gets to do more than just be the straight man.  All of her dramatic moments with Ellis were well done.  No complaints.  I have way more faith now seeing her move into a primary protagonist role in season 5 if we get it.

15.)  LESLIE ANN BRANDT CAN SING!!!  What a sweet moment and what it says about Mazikeen's development as a character (even if it is ruined by Eve's obtuse logic afterwards).  How much do we want to bet that Lucifer's reaction to that is what made him decide to leave her behind on Earth?

16.)  AJKLSJD;FLSAFDAS THANK YOU FOR FINALLY BRINGING IN MORE SUPERNATURAL STUFF.  We finally get to see the throne!!!  There are prophecies!!!  WINGS!!!  (How cool are Remiel's??)  Demons can possess people canonically!  The Lilim are a well established thing!  Lucifer is back in Hell!  So many place this can go now.

Anyway, I have good feelings for the most part.  It’s still a heavily flawed series, but it’s not so bad that I’m going to dive out of it ala Hemlock Grove, which I’m fairly certain gave me brain damage by mid-season 2.

[redantsunderneath]

Us (2019) *Spoilers*

Us is the best movie I've seen since Mandy.  I shouldn't oversell it, but it's really rich and basically everything I like movies for.  I’m going to at least refer to major plot spoilers (usually without direct description) so stop reading if you want to stay clean.

Horror seems more direct and out of the box able to get at the concerns I like narrative art to deal with.  The genres kind of promote certain thematic preoccupations, and horror is so diencephalonic that it really is able to go psycho-chrono-geographically extreme (more unconscious, more primordial, more in the woods) with less dithering.  This movie is an example of why all my favorite movies loosely categorize horror (even cheap dumb horror movies seem to work a lot better subliminally than those of other genres).  

For people who don’t care about spoilers and want to follow along, the movie unfolds as follows: A black upper middle class family goes to their vacation house where no-one really wants to be - the daughter is in her phone, the son is withdrawn, the mom actively does not want to be there, and the dad is overcompensating.  They go to Santa Cruz beach where the mom, when she was a kid, saw a girl who looked just like her in a hall or mirrors below the carnival/boardwalk, the trauma stemming from which derives much of the movie’s impetus.  On the beach, they meet their friends, a white family who are the image of superficial aspirational American values.  

One night a full set of their doppelgängers show up in the driveway and a battle for survival begins.  This turns out to be broader with, at least regionally, alters (”the tethered”) showing up everywhere and killing their analogous surface people. The white family falls immediately, sand our guys have to face their alters too.  The family eventually triumphs, but not before the mom descends into the tunnels under the hall of mirrors and faces her alter who reveals a too literal plot and wins.  The family drives away and it is revealed that the mom was (THE SPOILER) the alter all along and what happens is the result of the “real surface mom” jealously yearning for participation in that kind of stuff we do that gives life meaning, including odd self delusions and empty displays... so, like culture in general.

What the movie is really about is how we have within us a shadow of our primal selves, an ancestral image of progenitors who were concerned with drives and survival, and we suppress this so that society can function and we can be free from the knowledge of existential risk. The "absent center" (a la Derrida) of the movie is the culture war in which we are prone to let this shadow (and its instinctual out-group hatred and violence) take more control. We have a complex relationship this repression that involves guilt (we have it better than they did, civilization is theft and genocide, how can I forget this) and tightly bound attraction/fear of giving into the deeper drives - we know it is valuable but we don't want to edge in too far.  

So civilization is an internal tension filled detente that is kind of a lie we tell ourselves, and that situation is slipping a little bit. Presented as the main perturbation is trauma - being forced to see the real of which this shadow is a part, whether the trauma is abuse, encountering too harsh truths as a child, day to day existence in western civilization, self inflicted trauma to confirm to norms, the loss of a way of life, epigenetic shock from slavery, or whatever else.  Being a “realist”, and societal “red pilling,” is depicted as extremely destabilizing and dangerous because the truths discovered when outed may annihilate everything we have been striving for (if that’s worth saving at all). 

Note, this is within the context of not absolute truth but competing ambiguities, or at least an ambivalent set of incommensurable ideas that are all true but are immanently inconsistent. Or, alternately phrased, culture has rejected confronting certain truths for so long that we should be afraid of how a bunch of people who are not nuanced and are not prepared for the knowledge will react, but we really need to understand the real to grapple with the inevitable dissonance (competing ideas of the good) when figuring out a way forward. This movie is not pedantic and is well aware this struggle should not be ignored but the pain of confronting the truth is that it threatens the good in a way that is fucking tough to resolve.

The semiotics of this movie must have taken forever to put together.  There is symbolism everywhere and most symbols have multiple meanings.The main reference points are the 1111, rabbits, and the direct references to other media, but it is drenched in nods to the Americana, slavery, status markers, black cultural touchstones, etc..  

The 1111 recurrence has many reflections, some harder to notice.  11:11 is in the ether as the “time that big shit goes down,” has numerological connections to the divine descending to earth, and has a direct function of representing the individuation/alienation of the family and the way things are “twinned.”  One good example of the way this ties together is, as they walk across the beach, their 4 shadows make the Black Flag symbol (there is recurrence of Black Flag T-shirts to remind us) which is a stylized single (1) flag, furled as to show a staggered arrangement of the 4 band members as individuals - unity in individuality, which the movie questions (also to play into themes of suburban rebellion and “authenticity”). The 1111/11:11 works a lot of ways: to suggest an eschaton of individuality, that there is a moment of great potential and danger, as judgement/revelation foreshadowing (via Jeremiah 11:11 "Therefore thus saith the Lord, Behold, I will bring evil upon them, which they shall not be able to escape; and though they shall cry unto me, I will not hearken unto them."), the twinnings at different levels (we see the Black Flag t most clearly in the chest of one of a set of twins who have their own "twins" 11:11 - the other twin just has on a halter to maximally show off her "twins").

The rabbits are a psychological critique of the id in modernity (this movie is interesting about sex in its color-around-the-picture absence).  In deep psychological tunnels, they are caged and consumed subconsciously, red and bloody, as the current order/superego’s sacrifice to keep things quiet, and set free by the lysis in libidinal excess.  They also abut the slavery imagery as they are caged, utilized instrumentally, and are present not just in tunnels but in something that codes as an underground railroad.  But mostly I think Peele must be a David Lynch fan as Inland Empire informs this use. 

The Twin Peaks references were unexpected.  The first sequence is a descent from the carnival of fake activities that simulate real experience to the “deep place,” past the dweller on the threshold who gives us warning, into the woods with an owl (which isn’t what it seems), and into a veil of curtains through which are the deeper psychological truths where we interrogate inability to cope with trauma as a kind of existential problem - the whole situation as a manifestation of the sickness of the structures that give life meaning.  Also, the protagonist is trapped for a similar length of time, has a doppelgänger that is in a way the real protagonist revealed, and needs to face this part of themselves.

So, we’ll try to hit most of the wide ranging pop-culture references, but things really intertwine. Example: the red smocks evoke several things: 1. Michael Jackson, with glove, specifically Thriller (as on the tee), intentionally picking up on the gaslighting, the trauma, the ties to his own hidden nature, and the fraught nature of cultural affiliation (specifically black - Peele is the one doing the questioning) that perpetrates a cycle of behavior (we’ll get to code switching); 2. Chain gangs/prison uniforms - there are shackles in the movie and "tethered" is the word for the link between people and their alters - which, in the imagination, is just an echo of slavery;  and 3. Michael Myers... the white mask of one of the characters delineates this, but it reminds one of the other as an encounter with the real.  The glove looking like a low res infinity gauntlet will be left as an exercise for the reader.

The Jaws T-shirt fits with the water/boats stuff, evoking the polysemous subliminal other as a threat to out prosperity and illusions about ourselves. Just as in Jaws, the other is a really wide concept and can lend to a lot of different readings focusing on whatever you want to about the modern western world and what we fear/suppress.  All the MJ symbols and the mention of OJ alludes to the fraught identity of being trapped between worlds.  Black Flag and NWA recalls the shakiness of authenticity from opposite sides.  The consistent riffing on The Shinning evokes the sickness in the culture, the family, and the individual as inseparable and leveraged against our forgetting what has happened and who were were before. Hands Across America’s repeated direct referencing instantiates the desire for and society's readiness to provide the lie agreed upon, ambivalence about which is at the heart of the film.  Lost Boys is name checked by location and timing - literally they its filming is there in the flashback part - but also the spectacle hiding our savage natures which we are drawn to but need to control.  The home invasion scene is very A Clockwork Orange, with the eruption of violent life into the modern domestic space set to pointedly inappropriate music. There are tons of less specific movie references each evoking multiple films with similar shadowing - masks, scissors as weapon, the hall of mirrors, carnival as place of trial and trauma, underground as a place to resolve answers, incongruous music and violence,  etc. There is a shot with shelves of VHS tapes all of which have obvious resonances (CHUD, Goonies, the Man with Two Brains, Nightmare on Elm Street) except the Right Stuff which is pointedly there, perhaps as a reminder that man can and will transcend.

Tim Heidecker plays just the kind of character who you'd expect - a clueless smarm who goofily performs the rituals of commodified masculinity while not really seeming masculine at all. His transparency is why he was cast. He is part of a whole family critique of the superficiality of the American dream and how there is rot underneath.  Much of this critique is undercooked and a weak spot of the film as the family’s alters, besides Elizabeth Moss’s narcissism prompted ritual self mutilation, aren’t that worked in. Yeah, the father mimes dad stances, and the kids are interchangeable just like suburban identities (right, commuters?), but that’s it.  There is a lot of deeply implicit racism and distrust of the outsider in the families’ interactions that is much more subtle than “I would have voted for Obama for a third term.” How about “I knew you’d forget the flare gun” (but not the rope or life preservers) which has a lot running through it - ironic racial assumptions, a from the right critique of a political stance valuing safety and security over defense and accepting help, the "making fire” motif involved in beating back the shadow, and the plastic “real man” attitude.

The primary family is black and affluent, and have a connection to black culture that is depicted as at once not entirely real, aspirational, and a kind of cosmic separation.  But (mostly) the really deep connection to these things is "forgotten." Dad’s efforts to code switch when he has to summon something other than performative consumerism comes off as pathetic in the face of the power of the history of survival.  As dad listens and performs involvement of “heritage,” the son asks what “I Got 5 On It” means - dad deflects and the daughter answers “drugs.”  The correct answer is having a stake in the ($) dream whatever rules you have to break to get there.  This rubs (intentionally) uncomfortably against the Michael Jackson and OJ references (and the trapped in the closet pseudo reference) as cultural aspiration is about having to either forget a history of bad things (what the actual text of the things are speaking to) or leave behind the products of that thing (at which point where is your connection to your cultural past).  

The Fuck the Police joke works a bunch of different ways: 1. It’s a pun; 2. it’s an Alexa/Siri not working joke; 3. it brings the specter of technology contributing to faulty society into the space (as does the daughter’s phone); 4. it ironically contrasts with Good Vibrations; 5. it ironically contrasts with the action, the incarcerated kicking the shit out of suburbanites as class revenge; 6. the actual police literally still haven’t shown up after the 911 (is a joke) calls; 7. it expresses our ambivalence to societal strictures; 8. it is at odds with the environment, suggesting the absurdity of the middle class aping authenticity; 9. Ice Cube now makes a lot of fish out of water comedies of hood-coded man trying to fake middle class; 10. I could go on.

The weapons used by the heroes are all affluent symbols, often a costly reclaiming/supplanting/mastering of the primitive with the stuff of the modern - an expensive aluminum bat, a golf club, an outboard motor, and a geode mounted on a stand. The 3 family members win against both their shadows and that of their white counterparts by unifying his modern advances with the primitive impulses. The dad wins by understanding how machinery works and by mastering fire.  The daughter wins because cars > running. The son is really something because he is all about play and tricks and can't make fire, but is really about empathy (or maybe mirror neurons). His alter plays with fire, has burned himself badly, and is scared by technological magic.  So our son makes a spark, and learns to play with the other and thus control him to walk backwards into the alter's own fire.  He learns this trapped in a closet (the second R Kelly sub rosa reference this weekend after Shazam saying "I believe I can fly" before a messy edit) surrounded by board games including Monster Trap and Guess Who?

The twist really opens up what the movie is saying and is perfect Twilight Zone type "both chewy plot gotcha and thematic epiphany.” The twist basically says that the jolt of becoming aware of the real is traumatic and, if it is bad enough and you are susceptible, the state of wokenness requires you to fake it in order to fit into the life you desire but are alienated from, while the part of you that loves life (giving over to a spirit, art, believing in something "true" rather than factual) stays buried ready to erupt with negative effects.  This is a unique take on the subjectivity of trauma, that the bad unacceptable thing that is not supposed to happen that happened to you makes you feel like you are characterized primarily by that bad thing pretending to be the transcendent nature you repressed.  And yet, the movie ends with the Shining helicopter landscape shots of the car driving away, to Hands Across America being re-enacted, our primitive selves being inspired to attempt to recreate the lie of society as a life affirming spectacle.  This rhymes with the mom continuing to play mom as the performance is the reality, is who she really is.

I have left a lot on the table... the boat (that always pulls left) stuff as class critique, the voices the alters have, what each families’ possessions say (especially the wall art and architecture of the houses), the movements of the alters, the coding of the water settings, the idea of the “Carnival” of souls over abandoned tunnels and superficial (cheap and temporary) vs. deep (forgotten) culture, the scissors as a compound metaphor, the mirroring, 100 other media nods (e.g. Home Alone), the general quality of the music cues, the overdetermining alter names from the IMDB page, the Howard and thỏ shirts, the drunk dad, the excessive hinting at common types abuse (using film and real language) but not letting us have that as an organizing reality (as Nightmare on Elm Street does), and other stuff I’m not dredging up.

The movie is not prefect - 1. it commits the cardinal sin of 11th hour exposition to set the literal plot in concrete, which I didn't need and waters down the themes; 2. the white family (other than mom) deserves more specific behavior from their alters, and 3. there is only one real standout acting performance (Lupita Nyong'o, who I didn't "get" until this). But man, this is 1000 x better than Get Out - it's broader and more primal in its concerns with race falling out as just one critique among many.  

[neverreallythoughtaboutthefuture]

Anyone can fall...

So, as some of you may already be slightly aware of, one of my favorite characters of “Pacific Rim” that I strongly relate to is Chuck Hansen.

Therefore, I became curious to see if there was any information on if or how Chuck’s sacrifice was being honored and remembered in “Pacific Rim: Uprising”, and googled “Pacific Rim uprising Chuck Hansen Wall of Heroes”.

This lead me to a preview of the “Pacific Rim: Uprising” official novelization of the movie on Google Books, written by Alex Irvine…

And then, while reading a few excerpts from that book (since I’m a total spoilers brat), what I saw in there spurred me to do another Google search for more details regarding something I found about Raleigh…

Which lead me to a similar preview of a book called “Pacific Rim Uprising: Ascension” written by Greg Keyes, that is meant to be the prequel novelization of “Pacific Rim: Uprising”.

And from there, all I will say is to click on “Keep reading” bellow only if you know what you are doing, and wish to be spoiled regarding Raleigh Becket’s current whereabouts and what he’s been doing in between “Pacific Rim” and “Pacific Rim: Uprising”.

Extremely heavy spoilers for “Pacific Rim Uprising: Ascension” under the cut.  Read only if you truly want to know before you read the book (as I’ve read that Raleigh’s whereabouts in “Pacific Rim: Uprising” are not addressed in one of the movie reviews I saw.  So there are no actual spoilers for the movie itself, only the book dealing with what happens in between the two films).

Still here?!

Good!  Sort of...  First, you will need a box of tissues, some chocolate or ice cream, and possibly someone to hug you after...

Because as I was saying, when I clicked on the preview regarding Chuck Hansen and the Wall of Heroes, I came upon this:

And went: “Wait. Fallen Rangers… Yancy AND Raleigh?! OMG!!! What happened to the puppy?!”

So, I continued to search the preview, and then came across this…

And noticed the year…

2026!!!

The Breach was closed in 2025… Meaning Raleigh wouldn’t have remained in the world he helped save back then for more than roughly a year (or perhaps close to two, should that have been late 2026 given that the Breach was closed in the beginning of January 2025).

Doing some research, I then found a reference to it in “Pacific Rim Uprising: Ascension”, where Mako recalls what happened to him.

And JFC! I wasn’t ready!

Because he died in the most Raleighesque fashion ever, quietly reassuring Mako that it’s okay – that all you have to do is fall… Anyone can fall…

Before drawing his last breath, Raleigh used the same words he said to her when he saved her life, finally coming to terms with having been unable to save his brother’s.

The same words that have always made me wondered if what Yancy had been trying to tell Raleigh before his own life, and sentence, were tragically cut short, wasn’t something along the same idea... 

Something Raleigh wouldn’t truly have gotten until he found himself in a similar position of needing to help the one between them with the most chances of surviving - someone he loved and had chosen to become responsible for - carry on...

Raleigh told Mako “I felt his fear, his pain, his hopelessness and then…he was gone,” and somehow, I’ve always believed that Yancy’s despair and fear came in large part from knowing he’d be leaving his little brother behind, and there was no time for him to make sure he’d be okay or to protect him from suffering the same fate.

Sure, seeing a Kaiju stare you down like that knowing you’re utterly exposed and vulnerable to its next attack is plenty terrifying on its own (unless you’re a Hansen with a flare gun. But that’s another story!).

But copilots also know the depth of each others’ souls. Meaning Yancy likely would have known just how much Raleigh relied on him and looked up to him. I can’t remember if it’s Del Toro or Beacham that once expressed the belief that, should their roles have been reversed, then Yancy likely would have stayed with the PPDC and/or continued to get actively involved in some capacity with the war efforts (building walls one doesn’t believe are actually helpful to numb the pain and pass time doesn’t quite fit that category).

That is not to say that Yancy wouldn’t have been greatly affected by Raleigh’s passing, but they seemed to have different sets of coping skills, levels of overall impulsiveness and emotional maturity. Not to mention that Yancy was established as the dominant copilot, the one having chosen to take responsibility for his little brother after their parents died, and having adopted more or less the role of a mentor and a guide to his younger sibling.

Losing someone whose well-being you feel responsible for has the potential to deeply affect you, and perhaps recovering from that will be extremely difficult (and accompanied by feelings of wrongness and failure). But you might be less likely to feel utterly lost and destabilized than if you’re losing the person you’ve been actively relying on to guide you through life until then.

And Yancy did express frustration with Raleigh for lacking initiative in “Tales from Year Zero”. He might have gone about it the wrong way (while reacting defensively to Raleigh’s own anger over the fact that he’d slept with a girl that Raleigh had expressed what Yancy thought was just a passing interest for); but the message was still there – if Raleigh wanted certain things in life, he had to take that clear first step towards them, and stop waiting on them to happen on their own, or for others to lead him towards them!

So, there was that slight annoyed “Jesus, Rals! Don’t blame me for us sharing a lot of interests and wanting some of the same things you do in life – go for them!  I don’t need to oversee or approve of everything you do, Kiddo!  Why didn’t you call that girl, or clearly told me you had feelings for her?  What’s stopping you from taking charge and leading the way, too?” big brother vibe I got from him.

If Raleigh had been the one to die during Knifehead’s attack, I thus think it would have made sense that Yancy would have been able to maintain his footing, and continue to get involved in something that mattered to them both. Or, that he would have found another way to keep on going while honoring his brother’s memory, and mourning his loss.

While Raleigh got the Jaeger back to shore, but then seemingly didn’t know what to do with himself anymore. Not until he reluctantly allowed someone else to take his hand and guide him back to where Stacker believed he was still needed and could do some good.

And deep down, I think that Yancy knew something like that was bound to happen should Raleigh make it out alive. And that his “Raleigh, listen to me – ” might have been his last heartbreaking and desperate attempt to protect his little brother, and let him know that he was much stronger than he gave himself credit for. That he could do this without him, and it would be okay.

Anyone can fall… All he had to do was fall…

Everyone falls, multiple times, every day. Sometimes, you choose to take a chance, jump and start falling while hoping you’ve made the right choice and there’s a soft landing at the bottom.

Sometimes, things happen that will push you, and make you fall towards something good, bad, or even neutral.

Life is unfair, bad things happen to good people, but there are those times when you stumble face first into little miracles that remind you some risks are worth taking, and life’s still worth living.

You fall in love, you fall for an exciting project or idea, you fall back on unexpected new resources you didn’t even realize you had, or you just fall – let go of things outside of your control and find peace in the act of falling alone.

Falling can be scary, falling can be hard, falling can be easy, but it can happen to anyone. And that’s okay.

Sometimes, falling is all you can do

Meeting Mako gave Raleigh the push he needed to fall out of that frozen, numb state he’d kept himself in for five years, start growing again as a person, and actively take initiative. He fell for her – for her passion, her drive, her desire to achieve something deeply meaningful to her, and became dedicated to nurturing that passion and helping her achieve those goals. He became another guide and mentor figure in her life, a positive leader, the supportive “dominant copilot” that Yancy had always been to him.

And in his last moment, according to this, it would seem that Raleigh was given the opportunity that Yancy never had - the chance to quietly remind Mako that all you have to do is fall… Let go, find peace, keep on living and falling… Believe in yourself, and take those chances…

And while she keeps on falling through life, Raleigh will be falling back asleep - falling alongside his brother and all those other Rangers that have fallen before him…

As much as I’ve always said that I’d have been okay with Raleigh not surviving Pitfall while watching the movie because I got that sense of peace and acceptance from him, and was grateful he’d been given the chance to find it – the chance to learn who he was, individuate from his brother, connect with his own hidden strengths, and realize that he was capable of the same heroism, love, and selflessness that I don’t think he’d ever realized was there before, but I’m sure Yancy always saw in him…

I WAS NOT READY TO EXPERIENCE SO MANY FEELS OVER IT, DAMNIT!

I’m not even sure if that preview really is the official version of the final book, or if some things have been changed since, but if it is, that’s a very beautiful and moving (though very painful) ending for Raleigh’s story…

I may have had that slight moment of anger and indignation over the fact that Raleigh only survived Pitfall to then develop a bad case of alien radiation poisoning that ended up being fatal to him, apparently...  But that’s in great part due to the fact that I know that his death wasn’t originally planned to happen at the end of the first movie.

There’s this little part of me that can’t help but feel some bitterness over the idea that they were looking for an excuse to get rid of the character permanently, since Charlie Hunnam asked to be released from the contract that could have forced him to do the sequel in order to do the movie “Papillon” instead.

It’s hard not to consider the fact that, although they said they understood and respected his decision, eliminating any possibility of having him return to the franchise later on might have been some way to make him ‘pay’ for it and entirely cut any ties he could have had with the series.  Though, with what I’ve seen and heard about the sequel thus far, I’m not exactly unhappy that Raleigh’s character won’t be directly affected by it.

But, if we forget the idea that the politics of film-making might have had a role to play in the storytelling choices they made with Raleigh, I find myself being glad that Raleigh had the chance to rise back to the surface after completing his mission, open his eyes – learn that all the efforts and sacrifices that were made to close the Breach were successful - and be given the chance to properly spend some time with his co-pilot and say goodbye before closing them, and falling for that one last time in his life.

(And I won’t even try to pretend that the Chaleigh shipper in me is not comforted by the thought of them being reunited so soon after Pitfall, since I have a very hard time dealing and coping with fictional lovers or even potential love interests being separated by death.

It’s that thing I have…

Real life? 100% in favor of the surviving member of a relationship learning to properly mourn their loss, go on with their life, and use the love they’ve experienced to help them grow while keeping the memory of their partner alive. The death of a surviving partner is not remotely being perceived as a more acceptable nor comforting alternative to them living long and happy lives and recovering from their loss.

In fiction? What do you mean one of the two characters just died? Nonsense! Tell the idiot to walk it off, or the other to hurry up and catch up with him if it’s not something you can walk off from to fix it!

Which Raleigh sort of did… Apparently…

Okay, one of the main differences and possible explanations is that in real life, I don’t know if there’s an afterlife.  So, I’m of the rather strong opinion that you better not waste any of the time you’ve been given, since that may be all you have.  And the only immortality you can achieve is through the love and support you can offer others - those other lives you touch and connect with - so that they will be able to carry that love with them through their own lives, become stronger for it, and, in turn, offer love and support to others, too.

Then again, perhaps each of us has some form of individual spiritual entity that survives beyond death, but I simply do not know, so I won’t bet on it until I do.

In fiction? 

You can bet there’s some sort of afterlife where characters are happy and at peace and continuing their adventures together!  Damnit!  Not even willing to consider otherwise! Lol!

Bring on all that juicy and comforting Chaleigh afterlife fanfiction, so Raleigh can be given a proper greeting after having crossed over, yes?

Poor little puppy deserves some love after having been poisoned to death by the Anteverse...

Becket brothers reunion is also a must!  I say!)

Still haven’t found what happened to Herc, by the way! But his name is not yet featured on that Wall of Heroes besides Chuck’s, so I guess that means he’s still alive somewhere, at the very least. Though I’m starting to wonder how many characters from the original movie will still be left breathing by that time “Pacific Rim: Uprising” ‘s credits start rolling.

At least, if that really is the ending they chose for Raleigh, that means he is in a safe place with other beloved characters from the first movie they can’t hurt or touch anymore… Though, at this pace, we’re starting to move from “there are no heroes in a world where heroes can’t die” to “all heroes of the Breach must die”.

At least, the more it goes the more they can expect to have one Hell (or Heaven) of a welcoming party when they join the rest of the group!

Along with the Jaegers they lost because I’ve suddenly decided they’re totally sentient!  Don’t question it!

So, good morning (or apparently, afternoon) everyone! Hope you’ve been enjoying those feels you totally didn’t ask for as much as I did last evening when I came across those few passages!

You’re totally welcome!

[nixalegos]

M marks the spot. Part 2.

Part 1 Somewhere in Kalimdor  @house-of-m-wra

The gaunt demon like things flailed and howled in agony as the warlocks fiery grip ate at their flesh, seared down to their bones. Starved limbs tried to stab to rend to little avail. It wasn’t much of a struggle, given their starved emaciated forms, and the Sin’dorei growled as he let go of the charred remains. “Get down here, I doubt those were the only two.” He said without speaking. “I remind you I cannot fit in that crevice as you did.” Came back with all the contempt its bearer could send. Ash covered gauntlets lifted up, fingers splayed in the complex patterns needed to summon on the fly. He’d left his demon topside with the goal of watching the exit. It was after all, the most likely point ‘M’ would have the means to ambush him. The amazonian figure of a Shivarra stepped into view with a scowl.  “Smells like felhounds.” It remarked out loud. The warlock considered this, having enchanted himself to not need to breathe before having come down. Cave ins, poison gases, it wasn’t worth the risk simply to be able to smell properly. And besides, as he reached back down for his flashlight, it wasn’t as if he couldn’t guess how awful the places odor was. But the mutants form gave credence to the greater demons remark, and he squatted down to inspect their corpses further. “Too many teeth, three sets of them. Hair replaced with tendrils. Scales. It’s like they stretched a fel hound over a humanoid and left the appetite.” He said flatly. “Claws instead of hooves, so the goal was to keep them upright. I don’t, ah, here. On the neck. That’s an old Burning Blade brand. It’s no wonder things I haven’t heard of them after the Dark Shaman forced them out of Ragefire. M’s been using them as fodder.” It was he had to admit, an easy way to stay off anyone's radar. Who cared about rank and file cultists? But the why’s eluded them. The Warden had said M was an Etheral. Was he wrong, and this was someone elses work? He’d never heard of any etheral being interested in fel magics or demons before. As he stood up and made his way deeper into the dark warehouse he considered what he knew. Victims of a planet wide assault by void forces that drowned their world in raw magic, flaying their flesh away bit by bit with arcane winds. Their ‘essence’ secured by enchanted cloth. The Arcane was structure, function, to many the equivalent to metaphysical ‘laws’ of the universe. Fel was, well. Not. For an ethereal to even dabble in such magics would risk destabilizing themselves on a fundamental level. They didn’t even HAVE blood to spill, or flesh to barter in chunks. They were but souls and magic twined into one and anchored. Not unlike what he’d done to the Warden, come to think of it. Glass cylinders taller then even the Shivarra lined down, holding tanks, utterly empty save broken glass and gnawed bones. “...Those things devoured their kin.” The Shivarra said flatly. Nix turned the flashlight from one broken tank to the next. Each was the same. Glass piled in the bottom alongside bones chewed clean. They’d survived so long in the dark by smashing their way in and eating the next victim until needing the next. It was a horrifying idea, but it made sense. Not even he had found a proper entrance into this place. Maybe it didn’t even HAVE one. Long since shut down portal magic ferrying things from the outside. Both lab and now tomb. “Eight months, a year? How long was this place abandoned.” Nix said seeking anything, any clue, some fragment left behind. There was simply too much of a MESS everywhere to think this was the actions of a paranoid madman. This was...desperation. Was M being hunted? Had they found something? All these assets, materials, wasted. The universal lock pick was slammed boot-heel first into a rusted door with a kick, the rush of warm dead air causing the warlock and demon both to freeze, bodies flinching to defend. Nothing came. No sounds. No ghouls. Warlock and demon both slowly walked into this new chamber, past medical tables with unbound straps and binds. Dozens of them. A large vat sat dominating a corner of the room, marked with a bio hazard sticker. “Open it.” He ordered to the larger demon and it stalked over to grip the vats lid and push it open, just a hair. “Felblood, I don’t even need to see to know.” It said outloud. Forced fel fusion experiments, trying to make demon hybrids. People snatching and arcane soul bonding. Abandoned labs. How did it all add up? What was the game here? An army? A monster? “Fucking hell.” He snarled and reached under his hood to pinch the bridge of his nose.  “It’s not like that thing expected you to figure it out on your first go.” The demon said to its master. “The Warden is not a -thing-.” He snarled back. “I have to get this right, souls are not meant to be out of its...form like that, arcane armor or not, and it’s obvious this M is a threat to others.” “Well, nobody’s perfect. Not even you.” The demon said as it moved away from the vat to pluck at the scattered tools and clipbords around the room. Trying to make hybrids, or was M trying to recreate an immortal soul, like a demons was, forming again and again in the Nether. Warping beings into arcane essence, or improving the Etheral condition. How would an Etheral know if it was dying? It didn’t bleed. It lacked flesh. Did they feel age? Did they know when a memory slipped? The warlock looked up. Around the room, then ran back, out into the hall, towards the massive warehouse. Back into the mess and the marks and the signs of something having been left behind.  It wasn’t abandoned out of desperation OR madness. This was an ARTISTS mess. Paint drooling down an easel, too proud to simply destroy their works first lines to paper. Blood and flesh and filth. Creation was a work of sacrifice, but what could an Etheral give that wasn’t someone elses?  M wanted a perfect immortal soul. A newer more perfect undying body. To fit a perfect mind. M wasn’t for Monster. It was for MASTERPIECE. The demons longer strides brought it quickly to its summoners side. “What?” It snarled.  “They’re going for a new form of Lichdom.” He said as if it was the most obvious solution. “I’d stake most of my fortune on it. Now get those swords out, I want them to -know- I know.” He said grinning wickedly. “Because that’s the point. That’s what they want. This!” He said madly, turning about, casting shadows and light over the broken dreary mess. “This is all a production! A stage! On which to be presented! Oh what a scale, what melodrama!” He said with a contempt ridden laugh. “Now -carve- my symbol over it all.” He snarled. “What good is Art without an educated audience? They wanted someone to trace them, to see how they did it, it’s the validation, the payoff to being so brilliant and yet utterly unknown. I’m just a step ahead thanks to the Warden. And that step means I can cut them off! Eyes damn you, over every inch of this festering hellhole. I want THEM to see.” He snarled as the demon began it’s labor.