#part of that is to get away from home where people are constantly bugging him (minus his lil' bro. Jaey can bug him whenever and it's fine)

[soulsxng]

Archetypes quiz | Tarinx edition!

41% Rebel: The Rebel is comfortable throwing caution to the wind—and bucking the system—if that means getting their point across.

25% Athlete: The Athlete's focus and drive are unparalleled. Staying healthy and being fit are paramount to them (as for winning, that doesn't hurt, either).

24% Explorer: The Explorer is drawn to the unknown, whether that’s a Himalayan peak or the road not taken, and have a thirst for adventure. They take journeys, not vacations.

[thetypedwriter]

The Grandest Game Book Review

The Grandest Game Book Review by Jennifer Lynn Barnes

I feel like I’m writing about Jennifer Lynn Barnes constantly. 

Thankfully, this is not a case of diminishing returns. 

In fact, this might be Jennifer Lynn Barnes’ best novel yet, which is astounding to me. 

The Grandest Game is now the…fifth book in the Inheritance Games series which is insane, but it’s also the first installment in a spinoff series.

So related but not a direct sequel, although you would be lacking in a significant amount of understanding if you had not read the first four books of the Inheritance Games.

At this point, Jennifer Lynn Barnes is becoming the new Cassandra Clare.

But back to The Grandest Game, one of the key differences is instead of focusing on Avery and the Hawthorne brothers, this novel focuses on other players that have either been invited to play or won themselves a nomination. 

The Grandest Game itself is not that noteworthy, but the plot essentially boils down to this: Avery has set up a competition game where the prize money is $26 million.

Most of the game includes the players getting involuntarily put into teams and trying to solve a series of riddles and puzzles while attempting escape-room antics. 

Avery and the Hawthrone brothers are in the novel, but they’re in the periphery and largely unimportant other than the history they have with the players and the fact that they have masterminded the game. 

However, I can not emphasize enough how much better the book is by not focusing on them. Avery was never much more than a Mary-Sue from the get go and the Hawthorne brothers were all largely one-dimensional cliches.

The side characters who take center stage in this novel are a huge improvement, personality and interest wise. 

Rohan we know from the last book, The Brother Hawthorne, and his POV is fascinating. I’ve always had a soft spot for characters who are selfish and conniving, two characteristics Rohan has in droves. 

However, he also has a good motivation for playing the Grandest Game—getting money to take over the Devil’s Mercy, a secret club that he’s been a part of since he was a child. His penchant for winning always makes his POV fun to read. 

His relationship with Savannah, while predictable, was also really charming. I love relationships that are fierce and fiery, have cat-and-mouse banter, and are between two very stubborn people who don’t want to admit defeat. Every chapter with them working as a team was titillating. 

The POV I enjoyed the most was Gigi’s. Her fun, bubbly personality and bright way of connecting with people and seeing the world was fresh, fun, and authentic.

Her interactions with Knox and Brady were hilarious, but also strangely deep and intriguing, as they were both new characters with a sordid and complicated past with each other. 

Gigi’s intellect shone through while others constantly underestimated her, a plot point that never got old. Gigi trying to piece together what happened with Knox and Brady, while at the same time learning she’s bugged and trying to untangle the larger mystery of who’s on the island, was the most riveting part of the story for me. 

The last POV was for a character named Lyra Kane. Essentially, she’s Avery 2.0. I disliked her POV the most, especially as her motivation to win–saving her childhood home—while nice, was boring.

She also had the hackneyed story arc of being attracted to Grayson Hawthorne while incessantly telling herself to stay away from him (without success). 

The most interesting part of this POV was Grayson’s and Lyra’s interaction with their third teammate, Odette, an older woman who was once involved with Tobias Hawthorne.

I liked Odette’s backstory and the diversity of having an older character, but she was too cryptic throughout the whole novel and then decided to give up her spot at the end, a choice that riddled me with frustration and made her character dip in the favorite department. 

That being said, these three POV’s were still a huge improvement from the banality of Avery’s mind and the vapid love triangle she found herself in of the previous books. 

Instead, we have two interesting perspectives (plus Lyra) to carry this new spinoff series forward, a journey I am wholeheartedly ready to embark on.

Plus, all the riddles are a lot of fun to try and piece together as a reader. It may not be the most complicated of plots, but it’s entertaining and the characters propel it forward with their intersecting relationships and personal motivations. 

Recommendation: The best Jennifer Lynn Barnes novel yet. Read it and try to solve as many of the puzzles as you can (I got two of them!).

Score: 8/10

[bropunzeling]

Shane/Matty, "At Dawn"

"It'll be worth it," Matty had said; "all the guys say it's fucking sick," Matty had said; "you're not gonna leave me hanging," Matty had said, and that had worked better than everything else, in that it made Shane feel really guilty, that and the way Matty's eyebrows curved in and down a little so he looked hangdog, like the puppies in the Seattle Humane Society ads, so yes, Shane got up at the asscrack of dawn; yes, Shane got into the passenger seat of Matty's almost brand new car; yes, Shane trusted him with his life and getting onto I-90.

It's late enough in the summer that mosquitoes aren't a problem, and there isn't any rain or clouds. That had been something Shane hadn't expected -- he thought it would rain all the time, constantly wet. But it didn't in the late part of summer, or the early part of fall; it was warm but not overly hot, and never very humid, and the bugs were nothing like by the lake at home. The sky, when he peered at it through the tree cover, was a brilliant, robin's egg blue, and pine needles crumbled under their feet, red from the dirt.

It was a straightforward trail. No goat tracks, or scrambling. Wide enough for two, but Shane let Matty take the lead. Stared at the back of his neck, bronze from the summer, sweat slowly dripping down from where his hair was curling out from under his hat.

They passed a few people, hardcore type with hydration vests jogging up past them. Shane had that momentary instinct to show off a little -- he and Matty were fit too, no one had any complaints -- but it seemed stupid when they still had so much further to go.

Halfway up -- Shane hoped it was halfway -- they stopped, drank some water. Matty put down the backpack and held his shirt out from his body. It was a team shirt, gray, logo on the chest. There was a damp vee stretching down from his collar. "I get so sweaty," he told Shane with his croak of a laugh, and Shane stared at that vee and did not say, yes, I know.

They pressed on. At one point, there were some switchbacks, some rocks. One slid out from under Matty's foot and he stumbled. Shane caught him by the elbow to keep him from falling. "Thanks," Matty said, breathless. The feeling of his elbow in Shane's palm stung and throbbed like a mosquito bite.

Every year, Shane wondered how much he got to touch Matty. Handshakes, celly hugs. When he got called up for the second time, almost but not quite permanent, he had slung his arm around Matty's neck and it had felt right, good, how it should go -- but then he got sent down to Coachella to try for and lose in the finals again, and the feeling slipped away as quick as it arrived.

This will be Shane's second full season. He doesn't know, yet, how he and Matty get to relate to each other.

Finally they reach the top, a small peak dwarfed by the higher ones all around it, covered in trees and boulders, rough and rugged despite being well traveled. He and Matty scramble to one outcrop where they can see the valley below, the river of the freeway under them, the mountains stretching up to that robin's egg blue sky, green pines, small smatterings of snow at the peaks.

Matty slings the backpack down between his feet, but doesn't unzip it yet to get out trail mix and water. Instead, he presses his arm against Shane's where it is braced on the rock -- warm, sweaty -- and Shane thinks, so this is how I get to touch Matty this year.

Matty's pinky covers Shane's. "Pretty, huh?"

Shane glances over. Matty isn't looking at the view.

"Yes," Shane agrees, breathless

[trillchapo]

ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏɴᴇ: THE BASICS

What is your full name?

“Harlem Lalo Ramirez”

Where and when were you born?

“Brooklyn, NY”

Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.)

“My dukes, Camila, works long hours as a home health aide, and pops..shitt, he been was in and out of since I was younger. Mama a good woman though, resilient , nurturing, self-sacrificing, and deeply religious type.”

Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?

“Nah, pops bugged out ‘cause it’s deadass four of us. Eli locked up, I get a lot of that fighting shit from him. Izzy away for college and shit, proud of her, shorty seen her way out and dipped. Julian & Alma the twins, young as hell but I swear my mama would let they ass get away with anything.”

Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people.

“I stay in a lil nice townhouse, inna lil upscale neighborhood. The space is aight for the most part, the place is well-kept but never quite feels homey, because a nigga constantly on the move”

What is your occupation?

“I mean shit… legally? I sell candy to those who need it. Manage the supply and demand of various areas in the city”

Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks.

“Last time I checked I was for sho’ 6’3. I’m Dominican and black too tho. Beard stay short and I’m tatted up from head to toe. Only thing that change ‘bout me is my hair.”

To which social class do you belong?

“Upper-middle? Shit..roof over my head so that’s the only thing that matter forreal.”

Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?

“No allergies but I’ll say I got some shit just so I don’t have to eat certain muhfuckas food.”

Are you right- or left-handed?

“Right”

What does your voice sound like?

“Deep, raspy..smoking fucked my shit up heavy”

What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently?

“What’s the word?” “Odee” “Buggin”

What do you have in your pockets?

“I usually keep a lighter or too and some cash in the front pockets. It my phone ain’t in my hand it’s up in there too”

Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?

“Pretty normal nigga.. not schooler on what muhfuckas thing is strange mannerisms.”

ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴛᴡᴏ: GROWING UP

How would you describe your childhood in general?

“My shit was a mix of struggle, survival, and early exposure to the game. Growing up in a cramped Brooklyn apartment with my mama and four siblings, life was loud and chaotic, but family always came first.”

What is your earliest memory?

“I sit use to sitting on the stoop of my folks place in Brooklyn as a little kid, and watch my brother play dice with the neighborhood hustlers. Nigga was so good he was bussin’ they ass and letting me pocket the pot.”

How much schooling have you had?

“Stayed until my mama pretty much let me drop out which was around my sophomore year.”

Did you enjoy school?

“Hell nah. I did whatever I could to skip that shit.”

Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities?

“Older niggas..Them muhfuckas’s folks be calling unc nem and shit.”

While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them.

“Not necessarily. I’ve always deemed everybody to be full of shit, even when I was younger.”

While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family?

“Family mean everything to me. I love my mama, my siblings and shit..me and my pops just didn’t see eye to eye all the time. Still love the nigga tho.”

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

“I always knew I’d be a product of my environment so really all that dreaming shit wasn’t me.”

As a child, what were your favorite activities?

“Anything that could earn me a few dollars.. I was always involved in some shit. Them lil atlanta waterboys ain’t have shit on me.”

As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display?

“Been aggressive as fuck I can’t even lie. Fighting has always been me and ‘till this day ain’t much different.”

As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like?

“In the streets muhfuckas loved me. I was a young hot nigga supposed to be outside playin’ at the park and shit but instead I was hanging ‘round the older niggas off the block.“

When and with whom was your first kiss?

“Off the top of the dome I can’t even pin point the shit exactly, but now I’m not putting my mouth on just anybody.”

Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity?

“I use to be a hot nigga as a youngin’, real flashy and loud ‘bout the shit I owned so naturally girls would flock to me. Lost my shit my freshman year to some older chick at a party.”

ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ: PAST INFLUENCES

What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?

“Movin’ away from Brooklyn. That’s my life Ian gon’ like but if I would’ve stayed I probably wouldn’t be right here right now. Them streets different from L.A. they way dangerous and wicked.”

Who has had the most influence on you?

“Lookin’ at it now, I’d say Nipsey. He was a smart hustler and always had his money invested to fall back on.”

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

“Bought my mama a crib and paid my sister tuition off for her last 2 years. Shit feels good to know I’m financially capable of takin’ care of my people.”

What is your greatest regret?

“Letting my brother taking the fall for me. I was young as fuck and fell in with some niggas Ian have no bidness being around. When NYPD pulled up to shake us down he told them everything in my bookbag was his.”

What is the most evil thing you have ever done?

“Plead the fifth.”

Do you have a criminal record of any kind?

“Mostly possession charges and one aggravated assault.”

When was the time you were the most frightened?

“Ion usually get scared? Ain’t shit in the world worth being fearful of.”

What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you?

“I called myself tryna flaunt in front of a jawn a while back. She had a thing for hoopin’ niggas so I told her I was gon’ be the next Kobe Bryant on some shit. We was in the middle of the game and I start doin’ crossovers and shit… a nigga fell. Tripped over my own foot and hit the concrete hard as fuck.”

If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?

“Probably the route I decided to take. Being older now the shit ain’t as fun as it use to be. All my homies dead or locked up.”

What is your best memory?

“Takin’ my momma shopping. She dramatic and ain’t materialistic at all, but just being able to provide for her feels good for me.”

What is your worst memory?

“Seeing my brother get locked up and shit hurt. I was movin reckless as fuck jus’ walking around with that shit and when we got stopped I panicked. They searched my bag and found all types of shit, but he told them it was his.”

[simslegacy5083]

Today's (11/4/2024) Episode: A Household Name

Losing his last living parent was devastating, but at least Luigi was sure that Valentina and his dads would surely be proud of his latest accomplishment.

The sales figures for his new game had started rolling in, and it was clear that it’s launch day popularity wasn’t just a flash in the pan. It looked like Watcher Tales had a chance to become a lasting part of the gaming landscape, maybe even the start of a franchise.

The good news kept coming when Luigi heard from his contact at Unorthobox. They’d loved his footage of their hardware in use at the launch party and they told him they planned to use his star power to help advertise and promote the Ubox version of the game.

Not, they were quick to assure him, it needed much help. Watcher Tales was already one of the most popular titles for the Unorthobox 2 console.

Their manager Patricia at Rainy Day corporate was equally excited about the game’s success when they next visited.

“Sales on PC are phenomenal and buzz in the community so far is mostly positive, even if players are starting to report some bugs.” She told them “There is also, of course, a lot of comparisons being made to Sims Forever. They like what you added the other game lacks Luigi, but they’re also quick to point out what Watcher Tales is missing compared to their old favorite.”

“Well, I couldn’t exactly cram 80 DLCs worth of content into my basegame” Luigi lamented “though I think we did a good job offering at initial release many key gameplay features that Sims Forever locks behind expansion packs. As for the bugs, the whole team is working on a hotfix to address the most commonly reported issues.”

“I’ve got a couple programmers just finishing up another project that can help with the patch” Patricia replied, “I want you to start focusing on those content gaps.” she smiled “You ready to send your humans on new adventures?”

Luigi grinned from ear to ear. They’d had a feeling Rainy Day would be interested in DLC, but he hadn’t expected it to happen so soon “Absolutely!”

Luigi had already been a household name, but with his game being played and talked about all over his fame skyrocketed to a whole other level.

“You, sir, are a global sensation” Peachy’s favorite late-night talk show host told Luigi the evening he appeared on the program to promote Watcher Tales “The people can’t get enough of these hoo-mans of yours and I want to see what all the fuss is about. Let’s head over to the pit, where my staff has promised me they have your game booted up and a little challenge prepared for the two of us. You ready?”

“Bring it on!” Luigi said with a laugh, his inner child jumping up and down for joy as he followed behind the other sim to get started.

To celebrate their success the couple sent Skye for a sleepover with Grandpa Candor and headed out for a date night.

Taking Orange’s advice, this time Luigi threw on a “celebrity disguise” to help him keep a low profile so he could enjoy the time with his lady love without distraction.  He’d been skeptical about the idea, but the simple concealment did the trick, allowing him and Noemi to enjoy dinner and a drink at the bar without constantly being interrupted by fans seeking his attention.

“This is great!” Noemi hollered over the DJ’s beats on the dancefloor after their meal. “Thanks for going incognito; I have you all to myself for once.”

“You…” Luigi replied, pulling her towards him and kissing her hard “have me today, tomorrow, and always. Thank you for putting up with the insanity. I know the attention I crave isn’t always your fave. Now, are you ready to take your personal Superstar home and try out that new toy we bought?”

“Only if you’re a very obedient Superstar” she replied with a smile, leading him away from the busy club towards a little private fun back home.

View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here

[stella-ignis-rosea]

Character Introduction

Name

Nychta

Alias

Akumu Fengari

Age

23,000 (23)

Voice Claim

Odysseus From Epic The Musical (Aku)

Poseidon from Epic the Music (Memora)

Titles

Deity of the Abyss(space), Moon, Tides, darkness, King of Tsunamis, Father of Nocturnal Beings, Father of monsters, “The Dream Keeper”

Appearance

his skin is extremely pale, and due to his body temperature being rather cold, his blush color is more a light blue than the normal red. This also means other parts of his body are a different color, what would normally be pink or red would be dark blue or purple, like his tongue. His blood being rather black with a golden shine to it..hence he has Ichor for blood. His wings and hair are almost always covered in a nightly and spacey purple mist that seem to sparkle and twinkle constantly. Without the mist? His hair is white and his wings are a deep azure blue with dark purple markings swirling on the top. He has fangs and claws, and being in an avian appearance, his fingers and feet are strong enough to grab onto things like talons. His fangs are long and house venom powerful enough to cause intense pain even to other deities. His eyes are a deep crimson red, his pupils being the shapes of an upside down crescent moon. However at times during a full moon his pupils will turn into a full circle, and glow a nice dim white like the moon..

Beast Form

Personality

he’s often seen keeping to himself, he’s rather antisocial if he’s around complete and total strangers…but if one were to pick up a first time conversation? He’s blunt, a bit rude and can be an asshole, but at least he’s honest about it. Get to know him a little more and he actually will let you a kinder side to him, he’s an asshole but a total and complete asshole, he will make fun and light hearted jokes, he will make sure you are taking care of yourself…..but even if you get close enough to notice his own unhealthy tendencies (lacking sleep and drinking) he won’t really want to share what’s bugging him. He’s a kind and tired soul underneath his asshole behavior, a gentle god really…his asshole behavior is really a front and a mask to hide his true nature

Backstory

oh…where to begin….Akumu, who was named Nychta at birth, was born from two gods. Galaria, goddess of the stars and daughter of Nyx, and Solarus the God of Eternal Fire..Son of Gaia. He also has an older sibling (unnamed). Aku is the youngest True-Blood in the pantheon and the last Godling to be born. This was what many gods have started calling “The End of an Era”. As Aku and his sibling were taken away from Olympus by their parents, away and hidden from their cruel nature and tendencies, especially Zeus’s with his greed, lust and thirst for power, his need to stay in power as king of the gods.

Upon Aku’s birth? That’s when whispers of doubt started to stir, people started to doubt Zeus’s power, especially when he’s almost been successfully overthrown by his own Demi-God children and wife. This didn’t sit well with Zeus, and Aku’s parents. In fear of Zeus trying something? Aku was raised away from Olympus. In the Temple of the Stars, a floating island temple sitting in the middle of the earth, the sun and the moon…in the sea of stars…

Back to Aku, his childhood started rather pleasant, he got along with his sibling rather well…and he was definitely loved by his parents. However by the time he was 8 years old…..the temple was attack by strange beasts…beasts attracted to chaos and destruction..being woken up by the smell and sounds of blasts roaring through the temple…and then dragged out by his sibling as their parents stayed behind to keep the beasts from reaching the mortal plain….

The last thing Aku saw….was the temple he called home…being engulfed in a powerful explosion of magic power…leaving only what is now called The Ruins in the Realm of Stars…

The next few days were a blur…but he and his sibling only being godlings? Had to stay on Olympus with the pantheon since no one else had claimed to take them in….however things only continued to get worse, things were never the same..

For on Olympus? Dark Deities were not equals to their holier counterparts…villains..scorned by those who were deemed pure and holier by being bathed in light, while the others were bathed in darkness

His sibling..soon wanted nothing to do with him as they became blinded in such beliefs….leaving Aku all alone…..

This is when everything went to hell in his childhood…being treated like an outcast by the other deities…Zeus saw him as a threat to his throne thanks to a prophecy…the only reason he wasn’t killed? Was because Aphrodite adopted him as her own..

She was his only saving grace as she taught him the meaning of love and how it was supposed to be. It was because of her, he never ended up being greedy and self centered like the rest of the pantheon. In fact..when he turned 18….Aphrodite encouraged and begged him to leave the realm of the gods and live among the mortals. He didn’t want to leave the goddess who raised him behind, the one who he today calls Mother…

“You are not safe here Nychta…you never were, never have been…you are safer down there than you are up here, if you marry that goddess…your fate is worse than death…My dearest child..you’ll always be my precious son..but don’t worry, I’m a strong goddess, I’ll survive…go….me and Adonis will be alright”

To escape his arranged marriage, he left Olympus and never looked back, and he took on a new name…he dubbed himself Akumu..

The Banishment

“I was born with you..I am your deepest thoughts...your hurt..your pain..your anger..your suffering...your rage..your fury…..your thirst and need for bloodshed..i am you, truest, with no deceit, teeth and claws fully bared and sharpened. I carry no name...so you gave me a name with the meaning of a blissful memory....so I ask of you..why do you not trust me so..? If l am a part of you? Why do you deny me? Can't you see this world has turned its back on us...bared its teeth at us...our son was taken....our people cry to us for salvation..

Sleep now..O Gentle Darkness..into the abyss…..Let the Void give the world a taste..of who they are dealing with." — Memora

"It started with a voice in my head...I had just lost my son, hidden him away so Olympus wouldn't find him... with the law in place? He was not safe...I had to give him away...I had to hide him..my dearest Kristopher...please forgive me, I had no choice... only hope you grow up with love in your heart.

My grief is immeasurable, my rage is as cold as ice so dry that it will burn you with the coldest touch...biting you so hard you will break like glass....ive never felt such rage before...this voice in my head spoke with a voice that was mine...with a tone that yearned for a memory so blissful...Memora was the name I gave him....I knew what he wanted...and I did not crave such bloodshed..right..? / however, crave for justice... but is bloodshed the same as justice? Just as War has two sides....so does the meaning of Justice.... To bring punishment to wrong doers...but also to carry the burning rage of vengeance in your heart... fueled by the hurt that has been wrought upon you...

I don't know how much longer I can resist...the urge to let this voice in my head, this other presence in my body, do what it begs to do, Memora.is my heart truly that pained?That angry? So enraged that all you crave is bloodshed?... for years I avoided your thirst for violence for hundreds..thousands of years...and you've only became bolder and bolder...Angrier and Angrier... more and more enraged..you thirst and yearn for Zeus's head...you now crave to send our brother's soul to the afterlife...those who turned their backs on us..you want to sink your teeth.. deeper and deeper until they bleed no more, our mother doesn't know of your existence, adonis however is weary of you..he senses you. he fears you..i.fear you..i did my best to hide your existence completely while listening to you rant and crave for justice over everything that has come to harm us. Your rage only started to grow when Zeus enslaved Adonis..and now../ can't tell how much longer I can hold you back

Perhaps I can’t hold you back, perhaps now, after who we lost, a soul so pure..so innocent..just this once...I will sleep..I will release you...just this once..my heart is tired my eyes grow heavy and exhausted, my mother weeps with worry over me..Adonis tells me not to give into you. But I am sorry..after my cries for help having been ignored...I think I am sinking..Memora..your voice and presence is all I hear and feel now...i know the consequence of releasing you...we will be punished...we will be banished...oh my dear children..forgive me..I know Memora will spare you...for you are his children of the Nocturnal and Nature just as you are mine....but I do not wish you to bear witness the bloodshed...so sleep..sleep a peaceful dream...under my peaceful moonlight? You shall forever be protected"

"May Memora's Teeth Avenge Your Suffering.."

“Ten…thousand years…my anger..my rage…has only grew as I await release from our banishment..” — Memora

Memora

Titles

God of The Void, Madness, Nightmares and Corruption, The PaleBlood Moon. The Demonic One, The Fallen Deity, False Deity..

Age

Same age as Akumu

Personality

Cunning..Feral..Primal..He is the heart of the body he shares with Akumu..he is the full embodiment of the most deepest, darkest and most personal feelings Aku’ feels, what Memora feels? Is what the other feels. Memora is a deity in his own right. Just like the void, he is cold, and ruthless…Memora is honest to a point where he will throw every bit of truth into your line of sight. And he will consider it entertaining when one runs from it, he does not lie, he cannot lie…his truths are sharp just like his teeth, like his claws..long..and sharp..

He is sadistic…and he enjoys when his prey becomes scared enough to flee..like a game of cat and mouse he will chase you even into your dreams…and he will make sure your end is just as brutal as the crimes you have committed. Memora is vengeful, he holds grudges, and he refuses to let go…

His rage runs so deep…that he will stop at nothing…until the world is bathed in the blood of the red moon…

Story

“I have been here the entire time..from the first moment he was born, I also took my first breath, had my first thoughts…my first wants, my first needs…we were born in one body, one vessel, but at the same time we’ve always been…different, you and I..you love being so gentle with everything, using the darkness we were born into as a protective blanket. But I? No..I preferred to not be shielded. Nothing good comes from it, I learned that quickly..you hide from what little thing you’re not supposed to do, your parents find out and punish you for it. A concept of learning from right and wrong, every young soul must learned that, you do wrong, it bites you…eventually. The beginning of my life was peaceful, blissful one could say, I enjoyed it very much, Mother’s sweet voice, fathers powerful heart, our brother’s playfulness..and the beautiful sight of stars..endless..stars..the sun and moon together and above us..as our home hovered over the mortal land. I was oblivious to what really was lurking..I didn’t see the danger, no one did. I wonder if I had learned how to see beyond the stars and starry space..maybe I could have seen the danger..would mother and father still be here? Would our brother still be loyal to us?

It doesn’t matter now..what happened has happened and now it will always be a constant remember of why..I am this way. Mother and Father passed on, they had forfeited their immortality…We and our Brother promised to carry on their duties when the time comes..our brother also promised to look after us, to protect us..but he did not..he betrayed us by becoming just like that Zeus, perhaps he was easily influenced..he is so gullible and yet closed minded. At times, I thanked the stars that we are nothing like him……but you keep wanting him back, you begged, you cried, you pleaded..and he ignored us…called us doomed to become evil. How did you cling onto hope that was so false for so long, you lied to yourself…and I despised it. He didn’t come back, he never cared….you see that now..right? I guess you are right about one thing..Adonis and Aphrodite truly do care for us…I won’t harm them..not after what they have done for us.

However, I guess that’s when you started to notice me, you called me that voice in your head, the other presence you feel in your body, your..shadow…in a way? I am that..I am you, after all. And you are me, we are one and the same..but it feels much deeper, we are too free-willed to be…what Adonis calls a demonic possession, he is weary of me. I don’t care, I truly don’t, years on this holy rock has taken away my ability to care about what you or others think of me. As long as we are ok. I don’t care…I don’t care…I don’t care…

Zeus, he’s no deity, he’s no god..he’s no righteous man. Calling him a monster is too kind, you may not see what he is doing yet, but I sure do, every creature he tells us to kill, the humans become afraid of us, every time we retaliate for Adonis’s sake…he punishes us even more. Monster, Demon, Mistake…a threat to his throne, a threat to this world, I peeked into his dreams…I know what he is afraid of..losing that control he has over this very world. Why? Why is that? Why does he feel threatened by us? Every time I peek into his dreams it becomes a nightmare..interesting. A way for me to make him suffer for now..I know hurting others is wrong, but it feels good, you hate it..but I don’t, it makes me feel like I can get back what was taken from us. That’s what you want right? Our life back…? I’ll get it back…I’ll show them. I’ll show him…oh? Are you becoming afraid of me? Don’t..I won’t hurt you, I am you, remember? If you don’t exist, I can’t exist either..we need each other, so don’t worry….i will keep ourselves safe and alive.

This woman, Dolusia was her name…the way she looks at us I don’t like it and neither do you, not even Aphrodite enjoys her presence. Something about her is foul, she follows us, sure she talks to you, she is interested in your words, and conversation..as beautiful as she is..I do not trust her, you should not trust her. Besides..men are more attractive. She gets way to close to us, she says she cares and loves us…..but the way she yearns for our heart is…wrong…..you are right to push her away. Yet we are arranged to marry this…goddess? Looks like she begged Zeus for it to happen..she seems desperate for us…and she really wants us…but this want..this need for us. It’s like a focus acidic green cloud of venom..it seeks to devour, to control…her words are sweet..like the flower fairies in the moral plains…but even sweet smelling flowers can hold a deadly monstrous mouth. We should listen to mother, we should leave Olympus, do I care if it’s on the wedding night? Not at all, it’s best to leave now before she tries anything…hey…why won’t you let me take control of this vessel we share…? I can help you, I can make them pay..and I can clearly take her down..

I was right. I was right I was right I WAS RIGHT!!! LOOK WHAT THAT BITCH HAS DONE!! She cursed our child!! And we had to hide him away!!…HOW IS ANY OF THIS OUR FAULT!!…a year of blissful peace and once we are finally happy…ZEUS FINALLY TAKES IT AWAY!!….that stupid law of his…YOU SHOULD HAVE KEPT FIGHTING HER!!…we could have SAVED HIM!!…GAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!….do you really expect me to sit idly by…while Zeus TOYS with our LIFE!?….no..NO NO NO NO!!!!…it’s time you cease this futile and pointless begging to not ‘hurt anyone one’…I WANT TO HURT SOMEONE!! And that someone is ZEUS!! And after Zeus..our brother!!….ITS HIS FAULT THIS HAPPENED!!….i want justice..DONT YOU WANT JUSTICE!?..DONT YOU WANT TO RELEASE YOUR ANGER!?…how long are you going to HOLD IT IN!?….let me TAKE OVER!!….it is time we take matters into our own hands…and I don’t care if I create a sea of blood…I enjoy the scent of it..and I will paint the sky red, the moon, and the land in red..crimson red!….haha!!..HAHAHA!!! THEY WILL LEARN!!…THEY WILL PAY!!…..and they will know MY NAME!!…….

I. Am. Memora…

Moveset

*shadow tendrils*: it’s his most basic moves aside from dry biting and clawing and swinging his scythe, shadow tendrils coming up from out of the ground, they can sometimes be covered in toxic spikes

*venom bite*: he has toxins in his fangs which can cause severe pain like acid being put into your veins, this isn’t deadly and this is temporary and it will wear off, all it does is drain your strength to make you fall asleep..like wanting to sleep the pain away

*Shadow Hand*: a hand with sharp venomous claws like needles sprouting from the ground in numbers, mainly used to slow enemies down or put them to sleep or even just to restrain them, easy to destroy but he can summon a ton of these for a while

*Huge Shadow Hand*: this takes a lot of energy and he can only summon one at a time. A large shadow hand ten times the size of a small Greek building, it’s slow like a giant but it’s strength is powerful! Like it’s mini version, it has venomous claws

*shadow wave*: a wave of shadows, energy that gathers in the blade of his scythe and launches like a crescent wave of shadows

*moon beam*: a beam made of condensed moonlight, turned into pure magic power, his holy might turned into an attack

*shadow dome*: he is able to trap others or himself in a pitch black dome of shadows, it is also used as a shield in most cases, sometimes taking the combined energy of shadows with the shield he can uses it to strike the trapped enemies inside with pure shadows and moonlight

*vampiric screech*: a deafening screech that is able to summon at least one of his generals or simply used to stun his enemies

Water manipulation: basically hydrokanesis, able to manipulate water to a certain degree, hes not as strong as Poseidon, but being able to manipulate water signifies his allies and ties with him and the ocean itself as he keeps the tides in check. he can form water into any shape he wants for almost any reason be it to put on a show or as an attack, usually he goes with water whips and animals shapes

Water suffocation: he traps the target in an floating form of water, and he increases the waters pressure to keep them from escaping, he wait until the target either goes unconscious or drowns completely

Water Freeze: he can alter the temperature of the water hes controlling, making it freeze into a hard solid. this is usually what he uses to replace his scythe if he cant use it, as he can make the water and freeze it into any shape he wants

Water purification and cleansing: Akumu's unique ability, he has the ability to purify and clean any body of water with the power of moonlight, no matter how much toxicity the water has, he is able to purify and clean it turning it into crystal clear water that is even drinkable and fresh. for a few minutes however the water will have healing slight properties that can only wash away toxicity in ones wound or body. after a few minutes the water becomes normal refreshing spring water until akumu purifies it again

Water Tainting: Memora's unique ability that terrifies people, opposite to akumu's ability hes able to corrupt and poison any body of water to make it inky and oozing, either pitch black or crimson red, the tainted water becomes so toxic that its acidic to the touch and releases a very pungent smell of death and decay killing every living thing inside the water and if potent enough everything around the water as even the smell is toxic, only akumu is able to purify this and restore life to the tainted water

Aquatic Mobility: memora and aku's wings may be built for flight but is mostly built to underwater mobility: Akumu's wings has unique feathers that is covered in a special oil that prevents them from getting soaked and ruined underwater, the feathers are so adapted to being underwater that they help akumu swim at very high speeds in a controlled and stable movement that is even more stable and controlled then his ability to fly. Memora while he has small feathers at the stem of his wings, his wings are webbed and covered in shiny scales that while are light enough to take flight, they help him speedily swim in the water, due to his wings being webbed instead of layered with feathers, memora is the faster swimmer and has more mobility control then aku

Whirlpool: being able to manipulate water, hes able to create massive whirlpools to drown his targets, this is usually one of two abilities that is used to handle a large deal of multiple targets, the more the targets struggle the more damage they take and the more akumu is able to increase the harsh flow of the whirlpool thus dragging his targets down to a possible watery grave, if they survive this their energy would be left drained

Tsunami: a move that shows his complete control over the tides as hes able to push and pull the tides to form a massive tidal wave, the wave swallows what it can in its path and if you cant swim your left struggling at the waves mercy or the debris dealing damage to you

hydrosleep: a passive move he rarely uses due to Moonlight Healing, finding a deep body of water he dives down to the bottom of the water, he turns off his body and enters into a deep non-breathing slumber, depending how much damage he has taken plus how much energy hes used will determine how long he sleeps under the water, hes extremely vulnerable in this state so usually to keep himself save he forms a powerful barrier to protect himself, if one manages to shatter the barrier he will wake up in a frenzy as his recharge has been interrupted

Aqua Camouflage: a move he uses when hes taken large amounts of damage, its either used to escape or commit more careful attacks, his body adapting to the water to a point where he vanishes from sight, moving around invisible in the water only noise will give him away if one can manage to hear him carefully, he mostly uses this to escape

*Shadow Ball*: like the name says, it’s a ball made of shadows that explodes upon hitting enemies, it’s however much more powerful than a normal shadow ball from a Shadow Vioerian

*mist form/shape shifting*: not an attack an ability he uses as an escaping mechanism, in the form of a purple sparkly glowing cloud he can’t be touched as hes just pure mist that can move around, he also can’t touch you..a way to force him out of this form is pure bright light. ShapeShifting is an ability ALL Greek gods have as long as they has a clear picture of what they wants to transform into, the better the picture the more accurate their transformation will be

Appearance

His hair is a bit longer than Aku’s, instead of a deep purple, his hair is a deep..sparkly red..the once beautiful violet mist is now a violent torrent of red sparkly mist that is so cold..like the deep dark coldness of the sea of blood red nebulas….his wings start off with the upper part being covered in what remains of Aku’s feathers…still beautifully purple and glittering….however often times some will fall off…the rest of the wings are webbed…webbed and yet still engulfed in that same mist that makes up his hair, his wings carry two crescent red mood hovering above, one on each wing. His wings have, four eyes…four on each wing…be warned when they open…you will never escape once those eyes open and gaze at you…they saw the very crimes you committed. The once beautifully made circlet is now a crown..a black crown with three long spikes aiming upward, and two red moons with their backs to each other on each side of the middle spike. Ears long..and soft, drooping downwards. Skin black as the night…even his scleras hold no white in them, and the only glow comes from his piercing glowing blue eyes. His pupils shaped like an upside down crescent moon just like his counterpart only now they show no love…just pain, sorrow..and rage..his chest bares a black whole that is said to steal one’s sanity or mind once you gaze too long into it..your only protection is the chains around his torso, and shackle around his neck…keeping that black hole from reeking devastating destruction…his hands are boney..cold..and clawed..his feet are actually long clawed talons, strong enough to grab anyone tightly and deal a devastating blow, remains of shackles and chains are a mark of their banishment... His tail…is long…and made of bones. Having small spines and the tip being pointed and sharp like a blade, like a looong blade that will pierce you like paper…and lastly, what’s left of Aku’s lower toga, the upper part was devoured by the black hole..a gray belt keeps the toga in place with a shining red crimson moon..pointed downwards

(Warning, this image below the read more contains eyes on wings, is this is too disturbing, please don’t look…viewer discretion is advised)

[onesemesterfilmstudentta]

Spirited Away

It feels unusual to look at a childhood film with academic eyes but here goes nothing.

The way this film handles identity is really interesting to me! For Chihiro and Kohaku, this takes the form of names. By having your name forcibly taken from you or forgotten, you lose your sense of self and become vulnerable to other people. Not only do you lose yourself but you lose your home as well. Although signing the contract is essential for her to continue existing in the spirit world and find her parents, it also means giving away her name and sense of self. She now needs to keep safe her identity and keep a hold of herself as much as she can. To me, this also manifests as the need to be confident in one's self. Kohaku tells Chihiro she needs to keep asking for work and Chihiro does persist even when Yubaba is in her face. In other words, Chihiro must learn how to look confident, stand her ground, and remain dedicated to her goals. And she does the whole film through! Kohaku does much the same especially when he takes hold of himself again after the bug controlling him is squashed, revealing to Yubaba the disappearance of her precious baby. About the being unable to go home part, I'm not sure what to make of it but only that losing your name cuts your connections to your previous life. I guess in that sense you no longer remember home or where it is.

No Face is another example of identity too. Without a face, do you have an identity? Not only for us humans but the creatures of the film are each unique in some way. If not by face, then by personality but how do you express personality? Generally it is by speaking. No Face has no mask and constantly struggles to speak unless he's stolen someone else's voice (like the frog's). In that sense, No Face is unable to express his identity and therefore has no identity at all. Chihiro must interpret by his actions, by his few words, and by her own sense of kindness. The scene where she notices No Face following her to the bus, she asks him if he is and he doesn't really reply. But she is happy to use one of her tickets for him. I think that's why he gets along with Zaniba at the end of the film. She is also kind and gives him a home and good work to do.

Identity is also sort of tied to form at least in other people perceive someone's identity. Yubaba and Zaniba share an appearance so that Bo and Chihiro are caught off guard by Zaniba's appearance and actions. However, the two are so obviously different from each other. Chihiro must stand up to Yubaba but she is grateful and hugs Zaniba. Bo is spoiled by his mother but then stands up to her. He is at first bullied and taught a lesson by Zaniba but it is because of Zaniba that he learns to stand by himself and enjoy moving on his own four (two?) feet. Identity doesn't have to be set by one's form but it is dictated by one's name and one's actions.

Oh! And also one doesn't need to secure one's self alone. Throughout the film, Chihiro is always relying and being helped by people in order to get along in life. I do think that this film is part of Chihiro's coming-of-age journey but she does not become self-sufficient or independent and confident through her own efforts alone. She is grateful to Kohaku for all her help. It is he who tells her to remember her own name and he also remembers it for her too. And it is Chihiro, helping him in many ways in return, who remembers his name for him.

There is also an environmental message in the film. The most obvious example is Kohaku losing his name because his river was forced underground by humans. There is also a shot of the bathhouse too. From a side shot, we see that the front of the bathhouse is colorful, luxurious and bright. However, the back of it is dark and full of crude machinery. This should be just the same side that Chihiro had to make multiple dangerous trips through to get her job, go see Kohaku, and also return the seal to Zaniba. In other words, people try so hard to make things look pretty and structured but are just hiding ugliness behind it. Comparing Yubaba's beautiful, ostentatious palace to Zaniba's peaceful country home reveals how much more greedy and materialistic Yubaba is. Although… I mean Yubaba's hut is actually pretty luxurious going by country standards? Lots of space, cabinets, beautiful furniture… but it's a bit unfair to judge because how "frugal" or "minimalistic" should one be in order to not look greedy, huh?

[aintnomathbloganymore]

Animal Crossing New Horizons as Horror: Mother's Day

Same as always, after I woke from sleep, I found myself in front of my house. The transition never seems less jarring despite experiencing it hundreds of times at this point. It's strange to miss getting out of bed, something I always associated with a certain misery, like when I still had to get up for school.

I saw I got mail. Normally the only people who write to me are the strange creatures that live here. I don't understand it, they all know where I live, they could just come up to me. But at least it isn't the same phrases they cycle through when they do decide to speak at me. Today was different though, I forgot that today was Mother's Day.

I was quite excited when I got here that I got a cell phone, but my disappointment was quick. There wasn't even something as simple as a caller. Of course, instead it has a log of all the creatures I caught. Why should I care about the bugs I've caught? Why should I have to catch bugs for some owl? Isn't he supposedly a great hunter? That should be child's play for him. I guess it is wise to use free labor.

Mom said she would stay in touch after I moved. I had thought the cell phone would be that way of keeping contact. I miss her voice constantly. Instead, she sends me letters, and sometimes even gifts.

Today is Mother's Day. Supposedly a day to celebrate mothers. When I still lived at home, I would usually make her a gift. I can't seem to send her anything here, the mailbox seems to only work one way. Did she know this before she sent me off? Doesn't she want to know how I am? I shut up this thought cycle by focusing on what she sent me.

She decided to send me a gift, which felt a bit undeserving. Mom sent me a backpack. I looked at it and couldn't decide what to think. Traditionally a symbol of a journey underway, it felt too on the nose. If I could talk to her, she would know that I have had fun, but I would very much like to return home. A note came along too.

I skimmed her note, just looking for keywords. I hoped it might say she was going to visit me, or that I could finally come home. No luck.

I trudged around my island home, gazing out at the choppy sea in front of me.

The sea.

A symbol of life, of possibility, of power, and of the unknown.

Just once, we went to the ocean together as a family --when dad was still around. It as a pretty big trip, pretty far away, and pretty expensive. Mom and Dad argued a lot about that. When we got there, we all sat on the sand, staring at the water, and we didn't even talk. But there was a collective sense of awe, a shared understanding, between the three of us. I couldn't even begin to process how big it was, and it astounded me that my parents seemed to be having that same realization. We were so small compared to it.

Despite my hesitancy to be sent away, the part of me that held out hope that perhaps this could be good was bolstered by the fact that this new home would be an island, surrounded by the sea. I closed my eyes on the flight over here and thought of nothing but that time on the beach. Maybe every day, I could take time to sit in front of the water. Even though my mother, at home, and my father, somewhere, were far, I could remember that profound sense of closeness we shared staring out at the incredible blue expanse in front of us.

As the tide laps at my feet, I stare out at the water.

I see the fence that encloses this island on all sides.

I close my eyes and think about the old beach. I can see my parents, the water, and I can even feel how hot the sand was that day. But now, I don't feel that closeness. In my hands, I'm still holding the backpack mom sent. I open my eyes and I look down. For a moment, the blueness of the denim seemed as expansive as the sea did back then before it focused back down to the piece of stitchwork it was.

Usually, when I look at the sea, I tilt my head up a bit, to try to get the fence out of view, to pretend it was the same blue expanse as before. Today I can't seem to make myself even half-heartedly attempt this. Even when I got the fence out of view, it was still there, in the pain of my crooked neck and the beams of sunlight piercing into my eyes.

I held the backpack out, getting it level with the fence on the horizon. If my life were a novel, something written with a very clear beginning, middle, and end, this backpack could be the impetus of some journey. This would be the first, beat-you-over-the-head symbol that the story was beginning. If my life were a novel, perhaps it would tell me that I, and most importantly I alone, could go beyond that fence.

I take the backpack back towards me and finally look inside, just to be sure there was no hidden means to make my break, a saw for the fence, real world money to pay off the turtle, a gun to exterminate the capitalist vermin profiting off my entrapment. But no. It was empty.

"Mom, why did you send me here?"

My words appeared as a bubble over my head, and then shortly dissolved into the afternoon air.

Edit: Series page

[atrocites]

some of my fav little notes + important pieces of info before i run off again (under the cut bc i love yapping abt him too much)

micah is a Collector of Things, specifically things that remind him of people he's at least semi-close to (which is sometimes one-sided on his part) + things they've said they like; they're smaller things, like little trinkets and knick-knacks (figurines, pens, books, etc). he also keeps Everything that's made for him (like letters, bracelets, the like), even if it's from someone he doesn't know / isn't close to at all.

despite being an incredibly skilled fighter (autism moment fixation on assortment of fighting styles since he was a kid, thanks to his big brother, who would have become a great professional boxer had he lived), he prefers to dodge and weave or talk it out, if he can. this isn't to say he's a stone pacifist -- self defense is self defense, and if it's in the name of protecting someone else, he has no qualms about beating someone's ass (and if that doesn't ruin their pride, the utter disappointment in his eyes might).

speaking of his brother, it's thanks to him that he wasn't bullied, growing up. christian im was popular and athletic, a rising star in their little nowhere town, who loved his little siblings more than life. literally, as he would take a knife that was meant for micah. he never got to graduate high school. though most didn't say it to his face, a lot of people blamed micah, just as they would blame him for his mother's car accident (she was going to pick him up). / mother was a mortician, and micah grew up fascinated by her work, which quickly turned into awe-filled respect. he knew immediately what he wanted to be when he grew up.

his little sister, shaye, is a detective living on jeju island (she decided to live there because she needed to get away from that town, from the death her brother works with -- and jeju island is where their mother grew up). she lives with her detective boyfriend (julien) and her pet jumping spider (elizabeth). her love for all things bugs / insects / etc comes from micah constantly infodumping to her when they were kids (and when she was a baby, little 4 year old micah would bring her bugs he caught, dirt in his fingernails and sparkles in his eyes).

micah's big four: bugs, birds, fighting styles, and the dead.

queer and the way he sees gender is difficult to explain. he is respectful of all identities and, as long as it's not hurtful, respectful of other people's ways of seeing gender and sexuality. he aligns with "gay man," but it's more complicated than that. not really complicated to him, but complicated to explain to others. and i will not be explaining bc girl me too

he is never tired of being nice. you can call him names and even try to kill him, and he'll still give you a little smile and a chance at redemption. he even uses his little mortician business + his groundskeeper office to temporarily home criminals (and spn creatures, verse dependent), offering them discreet help. this depends on the person, of course, as some acts are unredeemable.

he's studied not only the dead, but the living -- he's very analytical, calculating, using what he observes to better interact with the people around him. however, he does it in a way where he doesn't have to mask himself. the only times he lies is if he's hiding someone and the authorities or someone else comes looking for them -- otherwise, he's always honest, and never hides anything, himself. for example, if you piss him off, he'll tell you (because he's so honest and you won't see it on his face, which is always set to either blank mode or smiley mode).

reactionless, when it comes to facial expressions or fidgeting / any body movement (not including dodging or fighting, if it comes to that). dude doesn't even flinch at anything, whether or not he's feeling anxious internally. he'll just stare at you or continue whatever he's doing if you try to get a reaction out of him, maybe give you a little smile.

middle aged virgin and unashamed / doesn't care. as he should. + does NOT get flirting. flirting with him goes one of three ways: it goes right over his head and he thinks you're being serious / just nice; he understands what you're doing and tactfully shuts it down OR politely turns you down; he understands what you're doing and he lowkey has a crush on you and it makes him blush, one of few times you can actually read his face (and he doesn't really flirt back, just very bluntly tells you he likes you, too).

[onedayatatime-please]

Wednesday, Aug 14th, 2024. 6:35 pm

I’m happy today. I went and ate lunch near the expressway and watched the cars go by. I listened to a lot of good music.

I had a moment in the morning where I was extremely nervous for my upcoming therapy appointment. I had to reschedule for a few hours earlier, and the fact that I would actually be doing this hit me all at once and it took me a while to calm down. I’ve been trying to think about it passively throughout the day so I get used to the idea, but each time I do I get nauseous. That kind of people-related anxiety isn’t at all unusual for me and I would not count it as a negative tally in my day.

I don’t think i had a single suicidal thought today. I feel confident and generally well minded. Today was a good day.

I am currently in a field of clover and I have a ice cold can of seltzer cause it is very hot out. There are many mosquitos and dragonflies and starlings. I wish I had brought bug spray, but a few mosquito bites won’t hurt me.

I am not dead yet, and I will do my best to keep it that way.

8:07 pm edit:

Ran into someone I was not expecting to. I grew up with him, best friends in the cradle kinda shit. We haven’t spoken in years and it’s my fault. I don’t know if it’s really my fault cause I had my reasons but I don’t know if they are good enough and god damn do I feel guilty. He just sorta stood and stared when he saw me and he didn’t hug me like his parents did. I feel nauseous and lightheaded. I don’t talk to anyone from my childhood anymore unless they are family and everytime I was the one to make that decision, but I didn’t tell them I had made it, I just stopped texting. I ghosted pretty much all of the people I spent the first decade of my life with. When it happened I was too young and wrapped up in my own mental and physical self preservation that I couldn’t think of any better way to do it and now I feel too guilty to even know how to reach out and apologize, or if it is even necessary to apologize. Or if any of them would actually care if I did.

The other part of it is that I don’t really feel the need or want to have a relationship with any of these people. Being with them would bring up too much shit. It’s this part of my life I’ve tried really really hard to put behind me. But I know I’ve hurt them and I feel terrible. I feel like a coward for being too scared to relive my guilt and trauma to heal relationships with them. I don’t know if that is a feeling based in reality or not. It’s 9:21 now and I’m still nauseous. I feel disassociated and I’ve started having full body ticks. If there weren’t people at my house I know I would go home and have a panic attack. I do not think i will get much sleep tonight as I will be on the couch. It makes me feel so much worse that I wish that I just could have not seen him at all. I wish that I was able to continue going though my day without being confronted by my guilt. I feel like I’m constantly running away from what I’m actually feeling and the actions of my past that have caused harm because the guilt I feel for those actions is so intense.

I don’t know what to fucking do. And I feel bad because now I feel like I shouldn’t even be writing this whole thing out. I shouldn’t be making this about myself.

My chest hurts very much and most of my current inner monologue is just imagining jumping in front of a car.

We used to be inseparable, and now we can barely hold a 30 second conversation and he looked like he wanted to bolt the whole time.

I think that I feel the need to inflict emotional and physical pain on myself to compensate for the guilt I feel. If I can hurt myself more then I’ve hurt other people then we’re even. Eye for an eye and all that. Whenever I feel guilty or embarrassed my first instinct is to slam my head against the wall or put the nearest knife into my leg. I can’t help but think it, picture it repeatedly in my minds eye. Sometimes my brain will even give me weird phantom pains to imitate the pain I would feel if I hurt myself the way I want to.

^^daily reminder of why I’m deciding to go back to therapy

I know that I’m freaking out rn because of PTSD alongside the guilt. Which again, bc of PTSD I don’t want to know any of these people. But I still feel guilty for breaking it off the way I did and then not rebuilding the relationship with them. “I don’t just feel one emotion, I feel two emotions” -John Mulaney

Fuck this started off as such a good day. New rule: no more saying it was a good day untill I’m in bed half asleep so probably no big emotion will happen after that.

I hate feeling this way. This is gonna sound so stupid but Jesus Christ I want my brain to be fucking normal I don’t want all of this bullshit I want things to be easy

I’m done for now, I need to go home.

I’m not dead yet, I will do my best to keep it that way.

10:49 pm edit:

I’m so tired, but I’m in bed, so that’s fine. My sister has her two best friends over as a going away party before she moves to another country. I drank a bit even though I know I shouldn’t. It was only one glass of wine but I still gave into the craving because I was disassociated and panicked. My chest still hurts quite a bit. I want to self harm very much. I will not Self harm.

I am going to watch some YouTube and go to sleep. Maybe I’ll play some call of duty if I’m not too tired. Tomorrow I will wake up and take a shower and wash my face and brush my teeth. Im gonna make myself an egg sandwich for breakfast. I’m gonna have my therapy appointment and then hang out with my sister and cousins. I’m making dinner tomorrow night for the whole family, mom, dad, sister, aunt, cousins. I will make a lentil soup, a roasted chicken, and toast with pesto, tomato, and goat cheese on the side.

I like cooking very much. I can make something, and take care of people at the same time. I will not Self harm because I love the people who love me. And I love making them food.

I am not dead yet, and I will do my best to keep it that way.

[phoenixwithapencil]

Okay I was gonna do this in the tags but I need to be able to keep track of my own thoughts

Because initially I was gonna be like ‘yeah this would lend itself to Apollo’s closed off depiction esp in fanfiction, but then I thought about it a second longer and there are fun consequences you can run with:

I’m sure Trucy introducing herself as a magician handing him forged evidence and Klav looking just like Kris at first glance did nothing to help with his lack of trust in strangers. Not to mention Athena being the new lawyer on the team and seeming trustworthy and then the moment she makes her court debut seeming like a suspect for Clay’s murder. That prolly didn’t help either (there is also the option to lean into the fact that all three of them, despite appearing untrustworthy on the outset, came to prove themselves as extremely trustworthy in the end)

Side note I’m sure the phantom couldn’t possibly exasperate the ‘any stranger I meet could spell my/my family’s end’ anxiety. I’m sure that would be just fine and dandy for Apollo and not horrifying at all, even if the phantom wore the face of his boss for a second there….

The lying ofc has the easy consequences of working in an office of lie detectors, but it can also be applied to people like Clay and Klav. How long would he lie for? How fast would they catch on? And especially with Klav, how much would he despair at being lied to so obviously about such trivial matters?

And about ‘don’t go alone, always stick by your brother’- he must worry himself sick internally every time he investigates with Athena or Trucy. I suspect Athena’s not too bad since she’s 18 and a lawyer and usually they’re close by and Athena doesn’t have a terrible penchant for running off. But Trucy? Trucy’s so much worse. And Apollo for all that he logically knows it’s fine probably still gets a fearful swoop in his stomach every time Trucy bounces around a corner ahead of him. What if she’s not there when he rounds the corner? What if she’s been kidnapped- for real this time? (None of this would be helped, I suspect, by Trucy legitimately being taken hostage at the space center- I haven’t played the case so I dunno if Apollo was with her or not- either he left her alone or he couldn’t protect her- which is perhaps just as bad if not worse)

Tacking onto all my thoughts about Trucy- depending on if one wants to disregard canon a little- that is Apollo’s sister. That’s his sibling and he’s supposed to protect her. He’s the big brother now and he’s supposed to stay by his sibling and keep them safe.

As a bonus, I offer more possible consequences of living as a fugitive in the mountains for the first several years of your life:

- a horrifying amount of survival knowledge for someone who would like you to believe he grew up in LA/urban California. What animals are dangerous, what plants are dangerous, what bugs and plants are edible (possible his coworkers discover this when he without hesitation pops a cricket or smth in his mouth bc part of him still considers them a good snack), what plants are medicinal, how to make river water safe to drink, how to make sure you don’t leave tracks, always making sure to take alternate/winding routes home- there’s probably more you could do with that but I am woefully inept in all things survival and wilderness

- not taking his shoes off unless he doesn’t have a choice (because always being ready to run or hide at the first sign of danger means you can’t be caught unaware)

- also a possible habit of sitting to face entrances/watching entrances to make sure no one dangerous walks in and/or putting himself between Trucy or Athena and the door (big brother protective instinct)

- I wonder if he found himself constantly watching Kristoph or only moving when Kris’s back was turned when he was still working for him. The sort of thing where he’d want to go print something but wait until Kristoph was focused on his computer or turned away from him to get up and then wonder why he was worried about it at all

- habit of mending all his clothes. Hand stitching. He’s fast at it. (Someone asks him if he can use a sewing machine and is a little perplexed when he says he’s never touched one in his life). Entirely willing to mend even his rattiest pajama shirt because as a kid he never knew if or when

That’s all that’s coming to my head right now, but I’m sure that there’s more

Thinking hard about what little quirks and habits Apollo picked up through his childhood.

Does he have an intense distrust of strangers, because trusting the wrong person in Khura'in would mean both him and his family being killed (or worse)? Does he find himself lying about frivolous things to people he doesn't know, to obscure any information about himself? Does it make him nervous to be out in the open, where someone bad could see him? Does he constantly find himself stressed being alone, knowing how Dhurke told him and his brother to always stick together?

[animusxy]

Aemond Targaryen x Blind! Reader Pt.2.

Summary: The ways that Aemond tries to help the reader become more independent since her family kind of thinks she's useless and needs help to do everything.

Warnings: More Allusions to Neglectful Parentage, soft Aemond is his own warning (more so out of shock).

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 3.5 / Part 4 / Part 4.5 / Part 5

This is based more or less soon after they meet but the mannerisms (what he does for the reader) stay more or less the same into their older years, closer to 1x08. So, he may not seem as cold or intense mainly because this is more of how he is seen in 1x06 and 1x07 due to his age.

Aemond wasn't an open person, he was seen mostly in the training grounds or with yourself in the gardens.

Lots of people saw him on a day-to-day basis but never really spoke or knew anything personal about him.

Paired with his looks it was much more common to hear the rumours about him and how he acts with his family. Some, mostly residents outside of Kings Landing believed that he held little love for his relatives but those within the castle knew much better.

He was constantly speaking to his mother about the court and what he may do to help ease the burden. Arguing with Aegon about how he treated women and sank in his wine trying to knock some sense into his older brother before he got himself killed. Defending Helaena from comments about her odd visions and sayings. He was by no means a cruel person towards his family.

When you became his friend and someone he genuinely cared for you came into his circle of protection. Said protection also meant a helping hand whenever you needed it.

Your parents were adamant on you having company of a knight at all times. They would lead you where you wanted to go and wait for you to be finished. Most times it felt as though you were a burden from how they would essentially grip your arm and drag you around.

You were not allowed to attend lessons that all ladies from high standing houses were meant to part take in. It left you feeling like a disappointment at best and while you never openly said it, anyone who saw the relationship between yourself, and your family could see it.

Your sisters often teased you for not attending lessons and would trip you slightly as you walked past. In truth, they did mean this in a light manner, but it certainly did not help you with how you felt.

Your brothers were similar, they didn't trip you as much, but they enjoyed jesting about your condition far more and in a more hurtful way.

You wanted to do those things, painting, stitching pictures onto thin cloths, gossiping with ladies of the court. But alas, you could not.

Deemed too different, too incomplete. It infuriated you, a complete contrast to your regular composure.

Naturally when Aemond heard of your wishes he set off doing what he could to help silently.

-- Becoming friends with Helaena.

When he introduces you to Helaena, your joint interest in plants and critters (more so for Helaena on the latter) meant that you'd become close to one another almost immediately. He was glad to see that you'd made friends with another person in the castle as he scarcely saw you in conversation with others outside of the dinner room and your own family.

Just as he'd predicted, Helaena had practically begged their mother so you could accompany her to her lessons. Ones that you weren't allowed to attend at your home away from the Red Keep.

Not only had he given you the opportunity to become friends with another girl (as most turned away after finding you were blind) but he'd also managed to get you into the lessons you so desperately wanted to attend since childhood in the space of a few days, without you ever realising he'd planned it from the start.

Ever the cunning prince.

Helaena would now join the two of you in the gardens when she was free, utterly delighted by the fact you did not fear bugs and arachnids.

You were told that they were ugly, scary things but you'd never been able to differentiate whether something was ugly or cute for obvious reasons.

Perhaps only centipedes were the exception, the feeling of hundreds of tiny legs running up your arm at a fast past was unnerving, but Aemond was always quick to remove the critters if you seemed to dislike them.

He too had been subjected to the same treatment (holding Helaena's bugs which she named ever so carefully) except he didn't have the pleasure of complete blindness to hide the bugs from him.

Then again all he had to do was close his good eye.

-- Walking through the Red Keep:

Another time when you visited the Red Keep, a few moons after your initial visit. You'd told Aemond how you felt about walking through the halls.

You wished to have the opportunity to not feel so useless and to walk on your own.

A few days later you were gifted a cane by the same prince you'd befriended.

Your parents had never allowed for you to have one because they thought that it was very unladylike to use one to move around. When you proposed that they could simply have one craft that looked fit for a lady of your standing they'd adamantly refused. They'd said that it would take too long to craft, be too expensive and that you would 'never use it'.

You knew that it was not the case. They just didn't want to spend money of you who they thought was a lost cause when it came to betrothals and weddings.

Aemond had done exactly what they refused to do for you despite only knowing you at the time for around five moons. He knew that you were a good person when you comforted him in the gardens, and he too felt what it was like to be unimportant in the eyes of a parent.

His father that is, Aegon often joked about Aemond being Mother's favourite but Aemond was more than smart enough to realise why. It was only because he was actively making an effort to hold the family together. In his mother's eyes, she needed Aemond to keep Aegon focused so that they could stand against Rhaenyra.

When he'd first gifted it, you spent 15 minutes feeling around the staff and all of its intricacies. You could feel a multitude of jewels, or were they crystals? Aemond was more than happy to tell you about each one.

It was a slim thing which made it far lighter and more appropriate for someone of your standing. Everything was in the colours of your house, including the jewels. It had light carvings of your house sigil as well.

An item fit for a princess, apparently Helaena had also given him ideas about what to be crafted.

You'd given the two of them a strong hug of gratitude in the privacy of Helaena's chambers.

Aemond would stand back a few feet and let you orientate the halls by yourself, something you'd never done before anywhere. It was a bit nerve-racking, and you called out the occasional 'Aemond?' just to make sure he was still there and hadn't left you fully to your own devices.

He always called back 'I'm here.'

He would warn you that you were coming up to a staircase but would otherwise let you try to move around objects by yourself unless you asked for a bit of assistance.

Eventually you began to memorise the halls of the Red Keep all by yourself (somewhat).

You would still walk into the occasional wall when someone distracted Aemond from you as they walked past, but he would always apologise and ask if you were okay. You only ever chuckled it off as your own clumsiness.

Laughing together about how you had a cane now yet still couldn't hold it in front of you.

When you needed to get somewhere quicker you would hold out your hands in his general direction and he would place his elbow between the two so that he could lead you.

He was much gentler and more understanding, you'd come to realise quickly.

--Some random bits:

He would often sit on your right during the lessons that you took with Halaena (she sat on your left). When you wanted to switch string, he would whisper what colour you were holding, and you would ask if it would match the picture you were trying to create (often using one of Helaena's previous pieces as a touch template)

He would give his honest opinion but remind you that it was ultimately your decision, not all great pieces of art came from a mix of similar colours. So, in the end you would end up using them regardless of what he'd said.

He would honestly explain what he was saying when he looked at your own stitching. Even if it was completely off but he would again tell you that you were trying your best so you would only end up improving.

He would always arrive you early to your family dinners in one of the rooms in the Red Keep and takes you to a free seat on the table to make sure that all your cutlery was there before leaving once some servants came in to keep you company before going to the main dinner hall that the royal family ate in.

While the ladies of the court where not exactly pleasant with you, the servants were more so since you were one of the few people in the Red Keep that were genuinely kind to them and thanked them for their service.

Once again, I would love to take requests for HOTD characters and on anything you'd like to see between this Aemond x Blind! Reader. Like please, I really wanna continue this thread XD.

If you wanna get tagged in this particular fanfiction for Aemond just comment it and I'll add you to a list. I forgot to mention that on the first one.

Tag List:

@ateliefloresdaprimavera @daddysfavoritesexkitten

[aroaceleovaldez]

okay outside of the retcons and continuity errors in TSATS, I think the main part that bugs me is how much the book seems to infantilize Nico, particularly relating to his relationship with Will. Especially because the book seems to remember and then forget again that Nico is autistic only when it’s convenient to infantilize him further.

Nico is randomly nerfed and basically helpless at literally everything the entire book. There is not a single fight EVER in the book that he actually fights without someone else very directly doing the work for him or actively helping him (usually LITERALLY holding his hand), save for that singular time where he sneak-attack kills the monster that just regenerated, but honestly that doesn’t really count as a fight. Or the aeternae, but they literally weren’t attacking him.

He’s in the underworld! He’s been dating Will for a year! How is he completely incapable of the simplest tasks? He tries to help Will - in the infirmary (is helpless at it), patch up his wounds (Will’s condition only worsens), put batteries in a sun lamp (he drops the batteries) - every time he manages to fuck up like he’s never done a single task in his life before. He runs away from every fight or someone else does the work for him because he’s randomly incapable of it for some random excuse. He completely loses several notable powers of his (only ever using one of his powers the entire book, and the only other reference to his powers is his shadow-travel which we don’t actually see) and acts like he’s physically incapable of them even though they logically should be the best answer for a particular situation (geokinesis! dream powers! influencing fear/nightmares! one-tap kill dissolve-you-to-bones! rip souls out of living people!) Yet Will randomly can do everything he can’t - generates two completely new powers to fight Nyx with (alongside bringing back an old power that got forgotten)! Plus a third (growing flowers/plants) that doesn’t even have anything done with it! Can pick the fruit from Persephone’s garden when Nico can’t (LITERALLY IN NICO’S OWN HOME)! Nico panicking? Soothes him without even trying. Will saves Nico in fights like five different times when he’s supposed to be the one with zero combat experience and explicitly isn’t a fighter (and doesn’t even have a weapon) and Nico’s the one who lived on his own as a rogue for three years! They’re in the Underworld, Nico’s home, and Will - WHILE ON DEATH’S DOORSTEP. LITERALLY. - is more powerful than him! For no reason! Nico is a Big 3 kid! He’s SUPPOSED to be extremely op! We don’t even see Nico speak to any true ghosts the entire book and they even acknowledge that he’s Ghost King!

And then on top of it all, the narrative keeps treating Nico as not knowing what’s best for himself and making Will always correct. Or making it so Will is the only one who is able to comfort Nico ever. And have Nico constantly refer to Will with almost exclusively babyish pet-names - “Night-light,” “Care bear” (when logically Nico shouldn’t even know anything about Care Bear lore?), even “sun therapy lamp” isn’t great. The constant “My little ball of darkness” also isn’t great? Like, if you establish that Nico’s extremely short, then it’s not as bad cause then it’s a height joke, but since the book never establishes that it just reads as more infantilizing.

I get they were trying to hype up Will for this book and let him have some action scenes so it wasn’t just Nico dragging him through the Underworld for 50 chapters while he does nothing but be emotional support. And Nico’s powers usually means he very often acts as an almost literal dues ex machina in a lot of plots. But you can still work with that without nerfing Nico so much, or completely infantilizing him! Just because Nico has trauma doesn’t mean he can’t be capable on his own, and that doesn’t have to negate him having people he leans on for support! These things can coexist!

[prettyboykatsuki-moved]

I am here… I am ready… What’s bully!Gojo like? How does he treat/bug you, what keeps him coming back to you, all that good stuff?

cw ;; 18+, dc ahead!!! bully!gojo, richboy!gojo, dubcon, dark content cw, gojo is a menace to society, manipulation, toxicity, gojo being a rich dickwad, obsessive!tendencies, fingering, squirting. this is darker than i usually write so pls be careful!!

of all the characters in my series, i think gojo pushes the boundary of being evil and nice probably more than anyone else, even bakugou. all of gojos bullying is like.. rooted in this desire he has to humiliate you and he just.. i have it all out in my head in such a specific way.

gojo satoru is campus richboy. but he's well-liked, and handsome and he has money and everyone loves him. he gets plenty of attention when he's on campus, and it doesn't help at all that gojo is good at practically everything. he's mostly on the swim team but he plays tennis and polo and soccer half-ass. gojo doesn't really need to do any of those things and he hardly attends practice.

but he's gifted by nature, you know? and he's more than used to having everyone's attention. gojo comes from old money mostly. his parents and grandparents and he'll be well-off for the rest of his life. and as much as he's grateful for some elements of it.. he certainly has a tendency to get bored.

that much is certain. gojo satoru doesn't really find himself easily entertained. he's gojo satoru, you know? the best at everything. the most likeable, most charming, most talented. most people on your private campus seem to worship him and he'd be a liar to say he hated it. he likes the attention, but it's boring. he finds the whole thing to be very, very boring.

naturally, this is where you come along. you're on scholarship and financial aid and your only goals ever are to get through the semester and make sure you survive. you're hard working albeit always exhausted. you just don't wanna get sent back home, something along those lines. you're not plain but you're not stand-out. your main personality trait is being busy.

i think the way gojo encounters you is unique. it's probably at your part-time but mostly full time job. you work a lot and he's always coming in with his little group of friends. most of the time it's getou, and sometimes nanami joins as an underclassmen and he hardly ever notices you.

but he does notice you, not him directly but getou (who is the nice one of the two of them. you're the one from ochem, you always look a little disheveled. you wave hi to getou, seemingly annoyed with his commentary. you're not exactly meek. he can tell that you're the headstrong type, and something about that intrigues him.

he tries to get your attention, but introducing himself as an heir. you seem bored by him, you give him a tight-lipped smile and ask what he would like today. and it's the first time gojos been.. told no before.

it's weird, yknow? because it partly excites him. gojo is so used to having everyone throw themselves at him so blindly. but you look like you're hard-working and earnest and something about that makes gojo excited. in the most evil and twisted way.

it starts small. you'd forgotten about gojo since that evening but he hasn't been able to get you out of his head. gojo has free reign over everything, so much money practically no rules apply to him. but he doesn't normally break them because he finds it to be classless. he understands authority though he hardly respects it. it's the first time in his life he's ever gone out of his way to break rules or bend them, at least.

it starts small. he gets your schedule from the dean and then he makes it his. and he pays for it with a hefty check and a little wink. when the money gets pocketed, you're suddenly plagued with the site of him. at first you think it's a coincidence, maybe. but then you see him constantly. in each class he's looking right at you, stares at you the whole time as you forcefully look away. at first you're just confused. wondering if you'd done something to upset the guy.

but then he approaches you one day, and from then forward it becomes very clear that gojo has no intent of leaving you alone.

he doesn't do anything at the start. you know what gojo likes about you? is that you hardly seem to be reactive to him. it's always small. stealing your pens or pestering you in class. whispering to you, playing footsie. it's small. not bullying so much as frustration.

but he likes how you force yourself to hold it together. the lengths you go to pretend he's not there. it's almost upsetting, but exciting too. he's working so hard to get your attention, shouldn't you be a little more grateful?

he starts to push his limits, just a little. spends more time with you out of class and follows you around. starts pushing his boundaries. touches you a little more than you like, and shows you how much stronger he is than you with purpose. he wouldn't do something so heinous, it's classless, remember but you should know how easy it is for him to overpower you. you should know that he could. if he really wanted.

it escalates. so much and so quickly and without your say. he ends up coming by your studio apartment, only to inform you he's your landlord now. he spends all of his free time with you, and doesn't let you study. doesn't even let you work, constantly putting you at risk of getting fired. touching you too close or too much.

one day you get frustrated with it. it's been pent up in you for so long and you snap. you get so angry, at your job. you slam your hand on the counter with pure rage in your eyes.

"why the fuck won't you leave me alone? i don't get it? what have i ever done to you?" and you sound like you're about to cry. you're practically fuming.

and gojo does the worst thing he could do, and laughs. laughs this amused and soft little laugh and then gives you a look through his sunglasses.

"ive been working hard to get your attention, yknow? i just wanted you to like me. this is good though," he grins, and it sends a chill down your spine because oh my god, he's being serious "it's progress."

he sounds ecstatic by your little outburst. it horrifies you. your voice gets a little quiet.

"why?" is your simple question. gojo shrugs and you know from then on that this is your life now.

one thing you've learned about gojo is that he really will do whatever you want.

in the months after that, it grows increasingly apparent to you that gojo is absolutely not going to stop until he is involved in every part of your life. on the days you're not absolutely aggravated with him, or show him the slightest bit of lenience - he's practically beaming. it's almost alarming. it starts to click for you that gojo has his own fucked up sense for liking you and that everything he does is to do what he thinks will win your approval.

or less than that, what he can do to make sure he's all you ever have time for. it occurs to you, in a spine-chilling moment of clarity that you're the apple of his eye. it's just that.. gojo satoru is a richboy and an asshole with no sense of boundaries. and you're his new favorite thing.

he's always been something of a hedonist and you're a high he has yet to come down from.

you tell yourself he'll tire himself out and grow bored with you but months pass and nothing like that happens remotely. it only gets worse. he starts inviting you to his friend groups and making you attend all these rich people events with the threat of buying your job.

he really does drive you up a wall.

it's one of those night where you're invited to his weird family gathering and all of his friends are in attendance. you're exhausted and you have work in the morning. you don't find yourself looking forward to anything about the night, especially not gojo's. you find solace in getou though.

of all of gojos friends, you find him to be the most tolerable. he's not great. still a dick but he's sociable and funny and subdued. a breath of fresh air. while gojo has family responsibilities, you mingle with him. you drink together and getou smiles every time he sees you laugh or genuinely enjoy yourself. he'd take you for himself if he didn't know gojo.

but he does. and gojo satoru seems frivolous but when it comes to the object of his affection - he can't help but feel a disparity. so when he comes back after a not-so pleasant conversation on family fairs to see you laughing and smiling and acting so carefree with getou, he's not pleased to say the least.

it was your mistake, really. after everything gojos done, shouldn't you know better? you're his, his, his.

it's not the first time gojos kissed you. but it's the first time he seems to ignore the pleaing in your voice. it's a little harsher, a little meaner. all teeth when he nips at your mouth and traces down your jaw with his hands sliding up your dress. you've let him touch you here and there but you've never gone this far before. not with him, not with anyone.

"g-gojo, wait!"

he pauses, stops. the look in his eyes is stormy and flat. it almost scares you.

"hm?"

in a weird, weird way - you're most concerned about him being mad at you. you get all squirmy, disappointed because up until this point gojo's only ever been happy with you. you can tell in hindsight that now would be the perfect time to put it all to bed.

but you don't, and your voice comes out as a half squeak.

"...are you mad at me?"

it's so.. small. so soft and small and submissive. and gojo pauses and whatever anger he did have disappears because this is the closest you've ever gotten to depending on him. ever. in the history of ever.

if he were a good man, he would tell you no. if he were a good and moral man he would wipe that little needy look off of your face and tell you he wasn't mad.

too bad though, really - gojo satoru has never once been a good man before.

"just disappointed," he says, trying to hide the excitement in his voice "but if you let me touch you, right here - then i wouldn't be."

you shake a little.

"......really?" you ask. he grins.

"really." he promises.

that's how you end up like this. with your dress pulled down just barely past your tits and your skirt pulled up over your thighs and with gojo fingering you until you get everything all messy on his good suit.

you're in his childhood bedroom with the door cracked up. anyone could walk in, you're certain but it's hard to think of anything other than gojo and his long fingers. they're so thick and so huge - they stretch you out so nicely. he's always been dexterous and now you can feel it as he curls against your gspot with a thumb softly on your clit and sparkles in his eyes.

he could fuck you but somehow this is so much better. so much more gratifying as your pussy gets so sticky and drips all onto his nice and expensive pants. you look so good when you get defiled. you sound so sweet when you scream his name - buried so nicely inside of your pretty little pussy.

it's established to him that gojo satoru would be dead before he even let someone else near you. and the way you're squirting in his lap and all over everything makes him hard out of his fucking mind. his mouth closes softly on your tits and your voice goes all warbly.

"g-gojo, 'm gonna - ! it's nghhh,"

and that's when it happens, and a rush of warm liquid spills on him and you convulse with your whole body. you whine his name so fucking pretty and you cum so hard you see stars. you cum and you cum and you cum.

you're so delirious as you ride your high, but you hear it. gojos voice against your throat.

"you're mine forever, yknow?"

you do know. you've sealed your fate.

[soradragon]

WATCH ME WORD DUMP

2012:

• trans fem Leo <3 (along with demi-girl Mikey and genderfluid Casey. he literally was like “ Y’know being a girl was pretty cool, I wouldn’t want to be one all the time tho)

• since everyone knows Raphs fear of cockroaches and other bugs they do their best to keep the lair clean and trap bugs

• Mikey is terrified of the dark so Donnie made him a bunch of nightlights for the lair

• Leo is constantly is patching up her younger brothers, when they were younger she’d break into stores to get Mikey Hello Kitty band-aids because they were her favorite

• Casey and Donnie have sensory issues so everyone always makes sure that there is sensory safe food in the lair

• Mikey suffers from imposter syndrome so their siblings always tell her that whatever she’s upset about is okay! And that Mikey is doing okay

• after a especially stressful mission they all have a sleepover in the main room

• April tends to accidentally manipulate people (I did this, I was just acted how my mom did and it was manipulation??? I never found out until recently) so everyone reminds her how to say things better, they do the same with Raph and his anger

• whenever Leo has gender envy April puts makeup on Leo to help her feel better, and it does work to some extent

• Mikey can’t handle smelling certain things (strong chemicals, perfumes, or other things) so everyone makes sure to keep that stuff away from the lair, or keeping the time the smell is around to a minimum

• Raph doesn’t like the feeling of certain fabrics so everyone makes sure to supply him with the ones he does like

• Mikey accidentally calls Leo mom sometimes, especially when under a lot of stress like a long battle. Leo doesn’t hate it but a part of her is uncertain of the title

• Raph and Donnie sometimes just go out roof jumping together, in this time Leo and Mikey usually draw or watch movies together

• Mikey has severe separation anxiety so one of her siblings always stay with her

• Donnie was non verbal when he was younger so everyone learned sign language, though the only one who remembers is Mikey

• Raph is dyslexic asf, so when he’s really struggling someone reads to him. When he was a tot Donnie would read his books to him

2018:

• Trans masc, panromantic Leo (Leo is absolutely panromantic, like how could he starve the world of himself? also demi-girl Raph, I literally love this hc)

• When the tots were younger they called Raph mom, like Leo she didn’t know how to feel about it

• Leo is a insomniac and when he does get sleep it’s usually nightmares so he lays with one of his siblings to help keep him calm

• If Mikey knows Leo’s been up all night he’ll try and make Leo’s favorite breakfasts

• Since Donnie has major sensory issues, Leo always makes sure that his beloved twin has his flavorless juice

• April tends to sleep at the lair overnight, especially after the whole invasion

• Raph always mothers her siblings, her older sister included. they have a hard time not worrying about everyone

• Mikey has minor separation issues so he’s always perched on his older sisters shell or arm

• April doesn’t like really loud noises (slamming, gunshots, alarms) so everyone is careful about it

• there is a designated “ swear day “ where everyone (including Mikey) can swear, Mikey or Leo usually scream ‘ fuck ‘ on the top of their lungs

• Donnie made a system to mine rich peoples accounts, every week taking out about 500 thousand (he’s gotta pay for the uranium SOMEHOW)

• Leo has a lot of scars from portaling somewhere dangerous on his own (like the jungle)

• both Leo and Donnie have a scar on their wrist from when they were younger, they were exploring and Leo tripped. Donnie feeling really bad also cut open his wrist. so they both came home crying with a bleeding wrist

• Mikey is so in touch with other’s emotions he feels physical pain whenever some people feel REALLY strongly about things

• Leo had really bad episodes after the invasion, he would basically enter a panicked state and attack others. it was hard when it first happened because he and Mikey were alone together. Mikey has a big scar on his shoulder that causes guilt to wrack Leo any time he sees it

• Donnie and Raph are usually the only ones who can pull Leo from a episode. Mikey can it’s just not easy like when Raph or Donnie do it

• Leo usually goes to Donnie after a nightmare, his twin knowing exactly what he needs to calm down

• Raph loves knitting, she makes vests for stray animals or homeless people. Leaving them as a anonymous donation to centers

• Raph also loves caring for plants, they accidentally bought one with a short lifespan so she BAWLED when it died (felt that, I mourned my first plant for days after it died)

LOVE THE SENSORY STUFF! SO RELATABLE!!

Poor leo having nightmares and insomnia, I’ve heard that there’s big hints towards it in the series (I haven’t completes it yet)

Awwwww raphie crying about (may I use he? I myself feel more comfortable using he/him for all the turtles, not to disrespect you or your hcs or anything) his plants!! Adorablleeeeeee

DONNIE YOU SWEETHEART FOR MAKING MIKEY NIGHT LIGHTS

Hello kitty bandaids awwwwww🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

I agree with April and the accidental manipulation behavior it feel so in character for her

SLEEPOVERS

I don’t like loud noises either

Poor leo having so many scars from portalling

*cackles* DESIGNATED SWEAR DAY I LOVE THAT

[eyesonstars-feetonground]

Ted Lasso 3x12: Why the Finale Felt a Bit Hollow

I genuinely think the only way to end Ted’s arc was to have him return to Henry. There’s no world in which he would ask his son to move across the world to him, much less not return to him. And so much of Ted’s pain is centered around being far from Henry. In a way, being a parent does really overshadow every other part of your life...some are saying Ted has gotten reduced down to just his fatherhood, but the point is that for him, and for a lot of parents, your child is your number one priority even if there’s a thousand more things on the other side of the scale. Henry needs him, and Richmond doesn’t, so there’s no way to justify the distance that Ted himself admits he keeps partly because he’s afraid of when Henry will leave him. It is beautiful that he can be confident now and take up the space he deserves in Kansas, in his son’s life. I hope Michelle gets it together, and hopefully that scene with Dr. Jacob being an asshole is what that’s about. 

I will read a hundred fics about Ted staying with Richmond to soothe the pain, and I’ve been rotating it in my mind all day. I also don’t particularly ship anyone but Roy and Jamie, so Ted’s ending isn’t about that for me. 

However, what really bugged me is that it seems like the show is treating Ted moving away to Kansas as if he will literally never talk to or see these people again, as if he didn’t involve himself with Henry’s life as much as possible from an ocean away. Why would the inverse not hold true with his other family, with his platonic soulmate and best friend(s) and pseudo child?? I am definitely buying into the dream sequence theory at the end bc otherwise that is what really pushes this into sad territory for me...why would he not be a part of those memories, those futures to come, as a friend and family member?

It seemed like the show couldn’t decide, like Ted was checked out of all of these emotional goodbyes where other people tried to tell him over and over again that they loved him and wanted him, without showing deep sadness or telling them to visit or giving a rambling Ted story. I’m hoping that’s because it’s a huge life change, but not one that moves him to sadness, because he’ll continue being there for them, and they’ll continue being there for him. 

I would have loved some reassurance though...Ted promising to call every day at Biscuits with the Boss time...Rebecca giving him a permanent airfare ticket so he can be flying in and out all the time, bringing Henry with him! Ted going to Richmond games whenever he can, Ted remembering birthdays and going to the book release and taking up space when the Higgins get everyone together. Ted showing back up with Henry, Sleepless in Seattle style, being greeted by Rebecca and the rest of the team to spend weeks and months back in his other home. Ted getting FaceTimed for advice about relationships and promotions and girl talk and the Diamond Dogs group chat and how to make a Richmond charity or women’s team or kid’s outreach program (best way to make Rebecca a mom in my opinion). Ted being a consultant bc Rebecca refuses to take him off the payroll until they win the whole thing, Ted being loved by the fans and journos even from afar, even years later. Ted being happy to be in London as a tourist with his son, with all that wonder and joy and optimism now that he can resolve the ache of both of his lives being one life! And vice versa, Rebecca and Beard constantly visiting, dragging Keeley or Roy or Nate with them, the players spending off season learning about Kansas and playing with Henry, celebrating holidays together !! The fans who now own 49% of the club being ok with some of its budget being “wasted” just making sure Ted and the team continue to be with each other in some way. Ted visiting and being greeted by all the people he talks to during his morning routine as if he never left. 

I just hope that he’s not cutting himself out of his community. It is about you, Ted. It is. 

Hope he creates a beautiful, whole life in Kansas (ideally in my mind he coaches a women’s soccer team there and then eventually moves back to Richmond to coach their women’s soccer team like years in the future, once Henry is an adult), but also continues therapy enough to know that he isn’t Mary Poppins!! He’s a Dorothy that loved Oz, he’s a Maria that deserves the Von Trapps. He’s the main character, he’s not a magical mentor type. He has immensely wealthy people who love him, he can make it work both ways. Some of the money that could have been his salary can instead be his travel and phone bill money. 

It’s a dream sequence not only because it had some truly unrealistic stuff in it (Jane and Beard getting married at Stonehenge, Rebecca meeting Dutch man despite the magic of their story being its ephemeral nature, Jamie with his dad, Trent taking out so much of Ted from the book cover/title after he said he wouldn’t change anything) but because, for me, the only part of the finale that was truly disappointing was the regression of Ted thinking he exists only to make those moments possible for others, with no place for himself within them. 

In a finale that didn’t really feel like an ending (in a good way!), where so many storylines didn’t get resolved because the point is that the characters will keep growing and changing and evolving beyond what we see of them, because now they have the tools to do that, I can’t Believe that the one hard ending we got was Ted’s life with Richmond. So I won’t.