#parks and recreation fanfic
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peach-and-bugs · 4 years ago
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Masterlist
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characters that I write for are organized in alphabetical order by fandom and by name. links will lead to my complete list of posted work for said character:
willing to write for characters: romantically (➵ ) platonically (✸) or nsfw (✧)
Character Alphabets (sfw ✸ & nsfw ✧)
Ask Box Headcanons and Blurbes
Agents of shield
Bobbi Morse ✸ ➵ ✧
Daisy Johnson/Quake ✸ ➵ ✧
Jemma Simmons ✸ ➵ ✧
Jiaying ✸ ➵ ✧
Leo Fitz ✸ ➵
Malinda May ✸ ➵ ✧
Phil Coulson ✸ ➵
Chilling Adventures of Sabrina 
Hilda Spellman ✸ ➵ ✧
Madam Satan/Lilith ✸ ➵ ✧
Sabrina Spellman ✸ ➵
Zelda Spellman ✸ ➵ ✧
Doctor Who
Amy Pond ✸ ➵ ✧
Bill Pots ✸ ➵
Clara/Clara Oswald/Oswin ✸ ➵ ✧
Eleven/Smith!Doctor ✸ ➵
Jack Harkness ✸ ➵
Missy/Gomez!Master ✸ ➵ ✧
River Song/Melody Pond ✸ ➵ ✧
Simm!Master ✸ ➵
Thirteen/Whittaker!Doctor ✸ ➵ ✧
Twelve/Capaldi!Doctor ✸ ➵
Five Nights at Freddy (movie)
romantic (➵) platonic (✸) nsfw (✧)
Mike Schmidt ➵ ✸
William Afton ➵ ✸
Vanessa Shelly/Afton ➵ ✸ ✧
Killing Eve 
Eve Polastrí ✸ ➵ ✧
Villanelle ✸ ➵ ✧
The Legend Of Korra
Asami Sato ✸ ➵ ✧
Bolin ✸ ➵
Bumi ✸ ➵
Izumi ✸ ➵ ✧
Korra ✸ ➵ ✧
Kuvira ✸ ➵ ✧
Kya ✸ ➵ ✧
Kyoshi ✸ ➵ ✧
Lin Beifong ✸ ➵ ✧
Mako ✸ ➵
Opal ✸ ➵
Tenzin ✸ ➵
The Last Of Us (Games)
Abby Anderson ✸ ➵ ✧
Dina ✸ ➵ ✧
Ellie Williams ✸ ➵ ✧
Joel Miller ✸ ➵
Tommy Miller ✸ ➵
Marvel 
Agatha Harkness ✸ ➵ ✧
Bucky Barns/Winter Soldier ✸ ➵
Bruce Banner ✸ ➵
Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel ✸ ➵ ✧
Darcy Lewis ✸ ➵ ✧
Drax ✸ ➵
Gamora ✸ ➵ ✧
Hela Odendottir ✸ ➵ ✧
Hope van Dyne/Wasp ✸ ➵ ✧
Jane Foster/Mighty Thor ✸ ➵ ✧
Kate Bishop ✸ ➵ ✧
Layla El-Faouly/Scarlet Scarab ✸ ➵ ✧
May Parker ✸ ➵ ✧
Mantis ✸ ➵ ✧
Maria hill ✸ ➵ ✧
Monica Ranbough ✸ ➵ ✧
Natasha Romanov/Black Widow ✸ ➵ ✧
Nebula ✸ ➵ ✧
Okoye ✸ ➵ ✧
Peggy Carter/Captain Carter ✸ ➵ ✧
Peter Parker/Spider-Man ✸ ➵
Sam Wilson/Falcon/Captain America ✸ ➵
Scott Lang/Ant-man ✸ ➵
Sharon Carter/Powerbroker ✸ ➵ ✧
Sylvie Laufeydottir ✸ ➵ ✧
Thor Odenson ✸ ➵
Valkyrie ✸ ➵ ✧
Wanda Maximoff/Scarlet Witch ✸ ➵ ✧
Yelena Belova ✸ ➵ ✧
Parks and Recreation 
Ann Perkins ✸ ➵ ✧
April Ludgate ✸ ➵ ✧
Donna Meagle ✸ ➵ ✧
Jennifer Barkley ✸ ➵ ✧
Leslie Knope ✸ ➵ ✧
Star Wars 
Ahsoka ✸ ➵ ✧
Captain Phasma ✸ ➵ ✧
Finn/FN-2187 ✸ ➵
General Hux ✸ ➵
Han Solo ✸ ➵
Leia Organa ✸ ➵ ✧
Luke Skywalker ✸ ➵
Padmé Amidala ✸ ➵ ✧
Rey ✸ ➵ ✧
Rose ✸ ➵ ✧
Stranger things  
Argyle ✸ ➵
Chrissy Cunningham✸ ➵
Dustin Henderson ✸ ➵
Eddie Munson ✸ ➵
El/Eleven/Jane ✸ ➵
Erica Sinclair ✸
Jim Hopper ✸ ➵
Johnathan Byers ✸ ➵
Joyce Byers ✸ ➵ ✧
Karen Wheeler ✸ ➵ ✧
Lucas Sinclair ✸ ➵
Max Mayfield ✸ ➵
Murray Bauman ✸ ➵
Nancy Wheeler ✸ ➵ ✧
Steve Harrington ✸ ➵
Will Byers ✸ ➵
misc.
Alma LeFay Peregrine (mrs peregrine's home of peculiar children)✸ ➵ ✧
Elizabeth Corday (ER) ✸ ➵ ✧
Lady Alcina Dimitrescu (RE:V) ✸ ➵ ✧
Laura DeMille/Madame Rouge (Doom Patrol) ✸ ➵ ✧
Lily Lebowski (Crossing Jordan) ✸ ➵ ✧
Marilyn Thornhill/Laurel Gates (Wednesday) ✸ ➵ ✧
Millie Rusk/MolotovGirl (Free Guy) ✸ ➵ ✧
Miranda Croft (The Flight Attendant)✸ ➵ ✧
Dr. Olivia Octaviouse (Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse)✸ ➵ ✧
Yellowjackets
Jackie Tayler (1996) ✸ ➵
Laura Lee (1996) ✸ ➵
Lottie Mattews (1996/2021) ✸ ➵ ✧
Misty Quigley (1996/2021) ✸ ➵ ✧
"Nat" Natalie Scatorccio (1996/2021) ✸ ➵ ✧
Shauna Sadecki (1996/2021) ✸ ➵ ✧
Taissa Turner (1996/2021) ✸ ➵ ✧
Travis Martinez (1996/2021) ✸ ➵
"Van" Vanessa Palmer (1996/2021) ✸ ➵ ✧
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fqrcefields · 15 days ago
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checkmate!
chapter two <3
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summary _ , april finally puts jennifer's phone number to use.
⋆ tags : smut! ⭑ࣶࣸ 
read on ao3.
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April hasn’t been able to stop thinking about her all week.
She hasn’t even finished a full chapter of her book, the business card still tucked between pages as a makeshift bookmark causing a flood of images to dominate April’s mind, distracting her entirely from the work of fiction. Along with said distraction, she is graced by the most embarrassing of blushes on a face that never does so, drawing too much attention to herself, forcing her to retreat to the bathroom to regain composure. No, she does not read the book. Yet it is seemingly surgically attached to her now, not allowing the enclosed phone number to travel any more than an inch from her fingertips at a time.
Her coworkers’ hate-fueled focus on Jennifer certainly is not helping. Everywhere April turns, there’s a video playing of Jen on another early-morning talk show, a picture of her face in the paper, with that big, toothy grin that makes April’s heart swell. To say it’s been difficult for April to fit in with this group of people so vehemently anti-Jennifer Barkley is an understatement. Though she’s never been one to share her emotions very publicly, even the smallest mention of Jen has April smiling like an idiot. Luckily, everyone around her is so consumed by their own want to win that they ignore the way April fades into the background.
It takes a full week of hopeful pining for April to muster up the confidence to finally text her.
It’s far too early in the morning, but the entire team had been called to watch Jen and Bobby discuss their campaign on Pawnee Today, and it’s not like April would ever give up the chance to see the woman on whom she harbors such a debilitating crush. She sits in the back of the conference room, nursing the biggest cup of coffee imaginable, hugging her book tight to her chest, which beats twenty times faster than usual. It must be the caffeine that’s given April such the adrenaline rush and enabled her fingers to send off the text message. Caffeine, and a need to see Jen— to smell that divine perfume that probably costs more than April’s entire wardrobe combined— that outweighs all of April’s typical anxiety.
what hotel are you staying at?
She sends first. Then, after a few minutes:
in case i want to murder you in your sleep or something.
Jennifer receives the texts right as she steps out of the soundstage, on the way to her car. It takes her a moment to register who it’s from, the area code far from the 202 she’s grown so used to. When it clicks in her mind, however, an immediate smile rises to her lips. Such a smile, in fact, that her idiot client asks after it, to which Jen simply responds with a bewildered eyebrow raise and a wave of the hand. She has to conceal her wild, cackling laughter until she finds the safety of her car.  
Jen responds once she’s home, not giving in to her own excitement, wanting to force her mouse’s anticipation. She would never want to come off as desperate, even though her fingers (along with every single other ounce of her being) are furious to send a text back. She does, once it’s been a little less than an hour, giving her soon-to-be murderer the name of the hotel. No, not hotel, motel. Because why should Jen have the luxury of a warm shower and more than one pillow? Hopefully her little raven will show up at her door soon enough and save her from shag carpet and thin robes. Though, if April is soon to be the one wearing the robe, Jennifer won’t mind its thinness.
Show up she does, but only once the sun has gone down. It’s after Jen has read through all of her daily newspapers and refreshed Politico nearly a thousand times, leaving her to deal with her own boredom the way anyone outside of D.C. would. She can’t deal with Perd Hapley’s voice anymore and would quite literally rather die than listen to Pawnee public radio. So, when April appears at her door, Jen can’t conceal her relieved smile— as much as she plays it off as being coy.
“I figured you’d be bored of diner food.” April shrugs slightly, trying to hide her own smile behind sarcastic manor and feigned disinterest. She doesn’t want Jennifer to know that she’d driven all the way to Eagleton to pick up the only food within a hundred miles that could scratch the surface of Jennifer’s refined palate, but there’s something within April that’s so eager to please, so restless to hear Jen tell her she’s done something right. Though, there’s also something within her that yearns for the degradation, that so wants to be yelled at in the way that Jen yells at people she finds stupid.
“Good girl,” Jennifer purrs, subtly undoing the top buttons of her blouse as she ushers April into the room. She admires the younger woman’s outfit, for what it’s worth. Though her affinity towards skinny jeans and zipper hoodies is far from Jen’s own style, she finds the tight-fitting clothes entirely intoxicating. Jen takes her sweet time admiring the brunette, her own lower lip captured between teeth so desperate to feel skin that they’re nearly drawing blood. She leans against the end of the bed, simply to observe, to enjoy every tiny, slow movement of her opponent. Though, she can’t be all too calculating, when an absolutely divine smell tickles her nose.
“My God,” she hums, her stomach growling its approval. “I didn’t know this town was capable of good food.” Jen laughs, stepping forward to join April at the small motel desk. “Color me impressed.” She places a hand on the younger woman’s lower back, middle fingers sneakily looping through the belt loop of the black jeans, grip firm on the denim beneath. This elicits the smallest gasp from April, which she attempts to cover up with words that never fully form. She’s lost all of her typical off-putting charisma now, merely left an unthinking form of flesh that begs to be molded by Jennifer.
“It isn’t,” April finally musters, and leaves it at that. If she’s going to be so incredibly vulnerable around this woman, she’ll try her best to protect the very last bit of mystery she can conjure. Jennifer appreciates this, finds it impossibly charming, a challenge that she’s insatiably hungry for after so many hours spent on the least challenging campaign of her life.
Once they’ve plated themselves what is, to Jen at least, a meal equivalent to Jesus’ last supper, Jennifer takes a seat at the desk’s rolling chair, looks up to April with her proudest smirk.
“Only one chair.” She pouts, legs spreading a little as she gets as comfortable as possible in the degrading pleather. Jennifer stares at April with all of her might, daring the girl to stare back, to enter this arena of eye contact, but April is unable. Despite her usual menacing Kubrick stare, the moment she comes into proximity with Jennifer Barkley, April completely falls apart at the seams. It’s not something she’s ever experienced, but April is so impossibly intimidated by Jennifer, so incredibly turned on by the woman’s tempting smirk, that she barely even feels like herself anymore. It's as if her brain has been invaded, taken over, melded into something of Jennifer’s control.
April’s eyes migrate down, forcing themselves out of the magnetic pull of Jennifer’s own, looking toward the floor as is her preferred avoidant posture. Though, as she looks down to the floor, she is interrupted by a hand that moves ever so slightly against grey material. A movement so brief yet so very taunting, as if beckoning April to it. Her eyes flick back up to Jennifer’s once more, note the way her pupils have expanded, the way she pensively chews on her lip, the tautness of her lifted brows. Everything about Jennifer oozes confidence, but more so now than her usual talk show pretension. Now, she’s undone. Hair messy, shirt so unbuttoned that April can see the lace border of her bra. She’s illuminated by a single yellow lamp, not the hundreds of fluorescents that April is used to seeing her under. Jennifer is domestic now, human, no longer the Washington robot from the news. She is warm flesh and blood, and it’s entirely impossible for April to keep her hands away from that very warmth.
April has never known herself to be the initiator, so she finds it hard to comprehend what it is that takes over her as she straddles herself over Jennifer’s thighs and plunges her lips onto the brunette’s. It must simply be the pent-up need, the seven days she’s spent doing truly nothing other than thinking about Jennifer, fantasizing about her, praying that she might walk in through the office doors again. It is that desperation that finds April tugging on the woman’s string of pearls, kissing her so very deeply that they nearly spill out of the small chair.
April lights up with the vibration of Jennifer’s chuckle— which either comes from amusement or pure pleasure over April’s forwardness— but she is far too intoxicated by Jennifer’s perfume to even pay the short laughter any mind. Her already swimming mind is only further done in by the patchouli and bergamot that still lingers on Jennifer’s collar even the end of the day, so strong that she feels drugged, her mind’s only real thought being the one that keeps her kissing Jennifer. She kisses the older woman with such fervor that it takes all of the breath from her lungs, her eyes gone fuzzy when she eventually pulls back for air. When April realizes her own action, sees Jennifer leaned back, signature smirk of Chanel Rouge now smudged, she can’t help but apologize. She’s never wanted anything so much so that she’s taken action to get it, so she finds herself simply shocked, amazed, power hungry, yet entirely apologetic, nervous from her own wanting.
Jennifer’s own chest has begun to buzz. She had entirely expected that their chess game would take hours— that’s how long Jennifer would employ her teasing. She was ready to watch April’s walls crumble over the span of a night, not mere minutes. Yet here Jen sits, her own breath stolen from her, her grip so tight around April’s ass that her knuckles threaten to turn white. Everything within her wants to joke, to tease, to make that little pout on April’s lips remain for as long as possible, but there’s a teeny, tiny little piece of Jen that just fucking wants to kiss this girl already.
“Bed,” she says sharply, her chest still heaving a bit to fully catch up. Jennifer grins as April does just as she’s said, and though she is not too far behind, Jennifer takes a moment just so that April knows exactly who is in control of the board. Once she hears that awful squeak of the mattress, knows that April has found herself laying in the highest thread count available in Pawnee, Jennifer stands. Though it pains her to turn her back to their spread of food, her stomach growing furious at her for the betrayal, Jennifer dares not sully this moment with such a feeble need as hunger.
The vision of April laying on the bed, pupils blown out and bangs already sticking to her forehead from the lack of central air in this room, is enough to bring Jennifer to her knees. Well, not exactly to her knees. But it’s enough for her to speed up her steps, to land on the bed above April, to press a taunting kiss to her lips before pulling back, not allowing the younger woman any more than that. At least, at first. Jennifer hovers over April, hands dipping under the thin fabric of thrifted long-sleeve, holding her so tenderly. She feels so differently for April than she does the others she’s been with. In D.C., it is merely sex. Something that she is very good at, yes, but for the most part, something to be tossed aside once it is done. This is not at all to imply that Jennifer does not enjoy random hook-ups in club bathrooms, but it is to say that she has not felt a real affection for someone in the way that she feels for April. There is an innocence behind those huge, dark eyes that Jennifer just wants to nurture, something in the teasing attitude that Jennifer never wants to be far from.
April attempts to lift herself, to kiss Jennifer, to finally release the tension that has been building between them for far too long, but she is met by a hand on her cheek, pinning head to pillow. Jennifer is not yet ready— she wants to appreciate this for the time it will take, does not want it to become yet another body in her count. The older woman cannot help the stare with which she holds April, cannot stop her thumb from sliding across her cheek until it eventually lands in April’s mouth, who eagerly accepts it atop her tongue. The large eyes staring back, the quiet noises of April’s mouth around Jennifer’s finger— it all proves too much for Jennifer, she cannot waste any more time staring.
The brunette dips her head, and though she misses the warmth of April’s mouth when she removes her thumb, the softness of her lips replacing themselves upon Jennifer’s is apology enough. Jennifer kisses her all too greedily, not giving the younger a second before her tongue darts into the woman’s mouth, her hands lifting to cradle the sides of April’s head so that she does not shift out of the way. Jennifer’s hips begin their instinctual rocking against the scratchy material of April’s jeans, but the pencil skirt hugging her own thighs is far too restrictive for such a move. As she lifts herself to hike said skirt up to her hips, April takes the opportunity to undo the rest of the buttons of her shirt, finally releasing flesh, finally pressing her fingers to the skin beneath the silk. The touch elicits such a reaction from Jennifer that neither expected: a sharp gasp, a plunge back into kissing so feverish that a voyeur would believe these two were reconnecting after years of one being missing. This past week very well could have been a year or more, for the desperation that it has built within both April and Jennifer.
Jennifer’s hands leave April’s face, the nails that were once perfectly manicured, now horribly chipped, running over goosebumps until they land at April’s belt. She undoes the raven-haired girl’s jeans as if her most basic human function— despite having not even spoken to anyone wearing jeans in ten odd years. April’s breathing becomes halted as Jennifer’s hand slips beneath the fabric, toying gently at the fabric of her underwear, lace. As much as she’d like to tease April for it, for purchasing a new set of lingerie just for their little rendezvous, the only thing that escapes Jen’s lips is a groaning ‘fuck’ when she finally notices just how wet the underwear is.
April’s vocabulary has similarly been reduced to only curses, with the occasional ‘Jen— God—’ moaned loudly enough she’s sure to be heard down the hallway. The latter is what sends Jennifer reeling, drunk on the way that her own name sounds coming from April’s lips. She has grown so used to ‘campaign manager Jennifer Barkley’, that to hear such a casual nickname, something so humanizing and domestic, is so incredibly arousing to her.
April’s back begins to arch from the slightest brush of movement against her underwear, her body under touched for far too long. As Jennifer finally pulls April’s jeans around her knees, she presses kisses to her belly, then her thighs— the kisses become significantly rougher here, teeth gently grazing over the plump flesh that they find. April’s hands fling to Jennifer’s hair, the perfectly set coif of curls now falling loose at her shoulders, April’s overwhelmed tugging not doing much for the style’s stability.
It's the harshest of all of April’s tugs that finally has Jennifer pushing the underwear to the side, slipping two fingers into the woman’s cunt. The action forces the loudest of April’s moans, a volume so rarely met by April’s vocal cords, yet in Jen’s presence, becoming all too common. The sweet moans are downright obscene, so very dirty that Jennifer can barely keep her head on her own shoulders. Her kisses to April’s stomach have become sloppy; she’s practically drooling all over the younger woman. Jennifer’s hips have continued their feverish rocking by now, and though April can barely conceive a thought beyond Jennifer’s name, she is just lucid enough to kick up her leg, pressing her thigh firmly into the politician’s clothed cunt. The contact sends white-hot pleasure coursing through Jennifer, but it is more April’s own pleasure which Jennifer seeks. Her free hand holds firm around the girl’s thin hips, holding her off of the bed so that her pumping may hit the perfect spot, may elicit more of those salacious moans from lips that begged to be kissed.
Jennifer greedily returns to said lips, her own grown swollen and over-hydrated from fervent caressing that they sting when April takes them between her teeth. The pain is more than welcome, as is the way that April’s hands force up Jennifer’s shirt, her nails clawing down skin. They are both sure to be covered in purple bruises come morning. Jennifer revels in the very thought that April will have to see Jennifer’s staked claim each time she gets dressed, that she will blush at the very sight of herself in the mirror, will get hot and bothered all over again before the workday has even started.
April has gone nearly breathless, her body tense in Jennifer’s grasp. She would not be surprised if her jocular threat of death were to become real. The way that Jen’s thumb lightly strikes her clit and then recedes, teasing, proving that Jennifer is still the one in control, sends a shiver through April. This sends her body only closer into Jennifer’s arms, who greedily accepts this nearness, for someone who has quite literally pushed away every single person that has attempted so much as a hug. She can feel herself being so corrupted by April, her very nature being distorted, becoming humanized, becoming tender. It sickens Jennifer, but she cannot possibly focus on her own morality when there is such a beautiful woman riding her fingers.
April’s muscles have gone tense, are threatening to cramp from how tightly she holds Jen between her thighs. Jennifer finally relents, allows April the pleasure she’s begun begging for, presses her thumb firmly to April’s clit. What soft groans were once pleading are now simply pathetic from pleasure, all caution for privacy thrown to the wind. Jennifer’s kisses have moved to April’s jaw, sure to leave her territorial markings there, and as her position allows, she whispers soft, teasing degradations about just how naughty the rest of the motel’s occupants must find her. Everyone will know how good I make you feel, she reminds the raven countless times, her laughter dark against April’s ear, her tongue sliding along sharp jaw.
April’s fingers nearly rip Jennifer’s shirt when the pleasure in her stomach finally builds up so much that she cannot take it anymore. She grips onto the silk as if for dear life, squeezes her thighs around Jennifer’s own so tightly that neither woman can move very much.
“Good girl.” Jennifer repeats, her head still nuzzled into the mess of hair in the crook of April’s neck, her hand’s movements unrelenting so that April becomes ever so slightly overstimulated. Jen doesn’t want to overdo it, she’s sure this is the first time April’s been fucked in years. At least this well.
 “I can’t see why you would possibly want to stay here tonight… But I’d like you to.” Jennifer grins as the two slowly return to normal breathing. She gently pushes the hair from April’s face, pulling her hand to her mouth, staring deep into April’s blown out pupils as she indulgently accepts the dripping fingers onto her own tongue.
“I’ll stay…” The younger stutters. April’s voice has gone weak, and has dropped back to its typical nonchalant cadence. Though there is no nonchalance in the way her voice shakes, in the lack of air in her lungs, in the way her hips still rock slightly against Jennifer.
Jennifer takes a moment to admire what she’s made of April. She laughs softly to herself, remembering just how stoic and timid April had once looked behind her office desk. The laughter causes concern to wash over the younger woman’s features, but as Jennifer buttons her shirt back up, she leans forward to press a gentle kiss to April’s lips, dissipating the fear entirely. She can feel something in the pit of her stomach telling her not to get attached, that she’ll only be here for a while and there’s just no way that a young girl like this would want to move her entire life to another state. She wouldn’t to get April caught up in the world of Washington. And yet, here she is, feeling incredibly dedicated to April, so very enthralled by that slanted smile and slightly baffled knitted brows.
As difficult as it is for her to get up—physically, because April is still wrapped around her body like a python— Jennifer slides out of the bed, into her slippers, walks toward the bathroom.
“C’mon baby,” she hums, barely tossing a glance over her shoulder. “We’re not done.”
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topxmenfan · 1 month ago
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Sawdust or Waffles?
Ben gets a concussion.
October 14 - Medical Monday
Seizures, concussion, “See if you can follow my finger with your eyes.”
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uncannyalien · 11 months ago
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Hey what if I wrote a shitty one shot of those two animal control guys from parks and rec getting married bc they're stupid and they're like "we've known each other for years and already live together and tax benefits"
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hyperionheights · 11 months ago
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Man, I Hate This Part Of Texas (Stuck In A Love Spiral)
I'm still doing the Spotify Wrapped Challenge (lol)
Word Count: 1k
Characters: Leslie Knope, Ben Wyatt, Ann Perkins, Shauna Malwae-Tweep
Pairings: Leslie Knope/Ben Wyatt, Leslie Knope & Ann Perkins
Summary: "Zorp, Schmorp! Doomsday Prediction Falls Flat as Citizens Spend Pleasant Evening Enjoying One of Pawnee’s Finest Parks." would've been a good headline, had it been true.
Tags: Angst with a Happy Ending, Pining, Episode: s04e09 The Trial Of Leslie Knope (Parks and Recreation), Song: I Know the End (Phoebe Bridgers), Song: Lavender Haze (Taylor Swift), Fluff, Exes to Lovers, Episode: s04e06 End of the World (Parks and Recreation)
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raimissance · 2 years ago
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Leslie Knope/Bobby Newport:
So, I did it. I wrote my long (at least for me) one-shot answering the question: What would happen if Leslie Knope did go to Bobby Newport's dad's lake house for a post-debate party?
And yes, I did incorporate the fact that Sweetums makes candy flavored condums.
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mellybouboulove · 6 months ago
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My guardian angel🤍𓆩♡𓆪☁️
Chapter 1
Hey guys, this is my first fanfic :) I'm already working on the upcoming chapters, it's gonna be pretty long.
This is a Drug Dealer Ellie Williams X OFC fic, it's out of universe and takes place in college, it's set in the 2000s.
Chapter 2 , Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapitre 5, Chapter 6, Chapitre 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9
Tags: #wlw #sapphic #drugdealer!ellie #modern!ellie #tlou #slowburn #smut #fluff #tlouau #au #modernau
Here's the first chapter <3
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First Chapter
It’s October 31st and I have yet to find my Halloween costume for the upcoming party. I was never too fond of parties but my friends have been begging me to join them. I started feeling guilty for not engaging more with the social part of uni, am l wasting my life ?
9pm: My whole wardrobe was covering the floor of my bedroom. I was contemplating each piece I had to find anything that could work as a costume when I started to question if I should even attend. After a couple minutes, I decided to put on a red top and red thighs topped with a blue dress in a desperate attempt to recreate Wendy Torrance’s look in The Shining. By the time I got ready, Emily and Jonathan were here to pick me up. I was already feeling so tired from all the noise. Maybe wasting my life is not that bad after all.
As we parked I could already hear everyone screaming like raging animals. When we entered the house Victoria, one of Emily’s soccer teammates, greeted us and took Emily and Jonathan apart. I felt out of place and decided to head towards the bar to grab a drink. Everyone around me was dancing and smoking. I struggled to breathe and looked around me, spotting the backdoor to the garden. I paved myself a way in the crowd; as I reached the outdoors. I sat and took a deep breath of fresh air watching the sky thinking about my bed.
I started relaxing when I noticed a presence in the corner of my eye. I turned around and saw a girl smoking a cigarette leaning against the wall. She glanced at me and we stayed in an awkward silence for a couple seconds until she finally started talking. 
- Hey, do you mind if I sit here? - Not at all, go ahead. 
As she sits next to me I take a better look at her, I can’t help but notice her attractiveness. She has a cute button nose and small freckles on her cheeks, light green eyes and strands of hair falling in her face. She’s really pretty. She looked up to me and I quickly looked away in embarrassment. She smiled at my reaction.
- What’s your name ? I don’t think we’ve met before. - My name’s Maya Reeves, you ? I asked. - Ellie Williams. What are you doing here all alone? 
- I just needed some fresh air, I lost my friends and the music is so loud. Her face enlightened, then she confessed to me that she didn’t like these parties either.
- What are you dressed as ? I continued.  - What? - It’s Halloween, are you not wearing a costume? - Ohh no no, I hate this kind of stuff.. Are you wearing a costume ?
I got up and turned around to show off my outfit. 
- Duh?! Do you think this is how I normally dress ?? l said.
She chuckled and looked at me up and down admitting something was off. She continued.
- What are you dressed as ? -Wendy Terrance from The Shining. -Ohh cool.. I didn’t see it but you look good. -What!! you really should see it! -I'll keep it in mind, I'll think about you when I do. 
She smiled at me, put out her cigarette in the ash and got up to leave. On her way back, she greeted Jonathan who was coming out of the house. He looked at me surprised. 
-Did you get drug?  -No why? I asked surprised.  -She only ever talks to her clients. -What are you talking about?  -She’s my plug, she’s at every party just to do business.  -Ohh.
I guess she must’ve only talked to me to try to sell me drugs, I’m kinda disappointed, she seemed sweet. Emily noticed how bored and sad I looked and offered me to drink to get in the mood. After a couple drinks I felt better and managed to enjoy the rest of the night. 
Eventually, it was time to go home. Emily and Jonathan were both way too drunk so I took the driver’s seat. The road was dark and my hands a little shaky, my eyes started to close until l suddenly saw two big lights coming right at us and heard loud noises. l realized we just collided with a car.
------------------- To Be Continued..
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gullableh · 2 months ago
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Just friends...
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Otoya x male reader
Warnings :
This is a male x male fanfic, so sorry lady's.😔
Reader is a foreigner from a different country.
My grammar is terrible so my apologies in advance
I tried to make it as in character as possible but oh my god this is flopping so bad 😭
Ooc probably.
(S/n) = Skin color
(H/c) = Hair color
(C/n) = Country name
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Otoya and you where good friends. Best friends even, the two of you where side by side almost 100% of the time. Stuck witch eachother, attached to the hip.
People barely ever saw you two without the other.
Your glad otoya and you are friends. You don't know how you would've survived the first years of moving into Japan without him.
You remember quite well the first time you two met. Surprisingly, instead of turning into buddies Imidiatly, the two of you hated eachother back then
The first few months moving into Japan was weird. The city was different from your home country. The language was weird.
The thing that bothered you the most was the fact everyone looked so much like eachother.
Silky black hair. And milky white skin. It was a complete opposite of your (s/c) colored skin and your (h/c) hair color.
They also had different ways of living, the way of sitting on the ground while eating, using chopsticks. And bowing. The neighborhood was always so quiet, there where bearly any children playing in the parks near the school.
It was a complete contrast form (c/n). Where the cities where so lively. Where the children would rush to get out of school and play a match of soccer.
School seemed to be even harder in Japan. Considering the fact that you didn't know a single bit of the language. Embarrassing yourself everytime you tried to talk in theire language. And yet they'd laugh and giggle at your mistakes.
The stares, the giggles, the avoidance. It was clear. These people where different to you, but to them you where also different.
That's how you had ended up in one of the parks. Alone, playing with an old soccer ball. Putting all of your aggression into a singular kick.
It had been a few months since you've moved. Learning Japan has gotten better, but you still didn't understand a big part of the language. You had yet once again tried to befriend someone today at your new school. But the kids would avoid you like the plague.
Of course nobody wanted to be friends with the 'weird kid'. They would mock you, as if you couldn't understand they're language. While in fact you finally had learned to understand.
Kicking the ball to the wall. All you did was kick, and dribbled and kick. And play with yourself. Then you had an idea, you had seen your favorite soccer player, lavhino, do a special dribbling style. You tried to recreate it. But ending up falling over and Landing on your chin.
"You're doing it wrong"
A sudden voice was heard over the park. You turned around to see a random kid. He looked the same like everyone else in this country. But there was something a little different, Instead of black hair. He had white hair with a green streak in his hair. He had the most stupidest bowl cut you had ever seen.
"How do you know that?"
You bit back, trying to look cool. As if you didn't just land on you chin face first into the ground.
"Cuz you fell down"
He said back, crossing his arms over his chest as if he was all high and mighty. A grumble left your lips as you looked at him with an annoyed expression.
"Then why don't you try it"
You said, snaring at him. Holding out the football for him to show you how to 'actually' do it right
"Okay."
He said shrugging his shoulders. Walking over to you and grabbing the ball. He attempted to do the same move you had done earlier, but he too, fell down and landed on the ground
A laugh left your lips as you pointed at him mockingly
"See you can't do it either"
You mocked. The random kid looked at you with a glare.
"Shut up, I'm just warming up"
He said. Biting back the urge to punch
"No you shut up"
You had said. Glaring back at him. The park turned silent once again, the both of you glaring at eachother.
"I don't shut up, I grow up. And when I look at you I throw up"
The random kid had said. Standing up with the ball in hand, acting as if he just had ruined your career. While you in the other hand cringed.
"Ew, you can't even say something rude"
"Yes I can"
"Nuh uh"
"Yuh huh"
"You're so weird"
"No you're weird"
And the rest of the afternoon was spent with the two of you bickering and playing soccer trying to outshine the other. You've gotta admit, that was the most fun you had ever since you've moved.
It was getting late and the both of you needed to go home, unless you wanted to hear an earful of why you should come home on time. Then the both of them walked to there homes. Finding themselves at the same direction. That was when they both realized they're homes where pretty close by.
Actually they where even neighbors
"Wait your the one who moved here a while ago?"
"Duh, did you never see me leave my house?"
And the both of you went back to bickering. Honestly that's one thing that still hasn't changed.
Both of you whent to your doors. About to step in when the random kid had stopped you
"I'm otoya by the way"
Otoya said. Introducing himself to you.
"I'm (y/n)"
You said a smile was on your face. You had enjoyed that day, a lot. So much so the next day when it was weekend you had mustered up the courage to go to his house. And ask if he wanted to play football again.
And that was the start of you and otoya's friendship.
That little bicker match turned into a friendship. The both of you grew up from small teens to grown teenagers. Soon to be young adults.
The both of you had experienced eachothers ups and downs. The awkward phases you went through. The embarrassing moments spend together. You did it all.
You watched him grow into a rowdy teenager who likes to party. While you where practically his right hand man. Always there to assist him a pass while in a game of soccer.
Or comforting him when he got rejected by another girl he liked.
You where there to experience it all.
You where glad that the two of you had met that day.
He's your best friend. Someone he can trust and count on.
And your his best friend. Someone that can come to for help, and have a fun time with.
Your friendship was perfect as it is the way it is. You wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
.
.
.
Or so that's what you keep trying to tell yourself.
The truth is... Somewhere near when you two grew into puberty. You started to have weird emotions around him, finding him suddenly attractive and started to think about him day and night.
You tried to ignore these feelings and shrugged the off as growing up, maybe if you ignore them, they would go away... But they didn't, in fact they even got worse. Worse and worse as the years went by.
You never had the courage to tell him. You knew otoya was into girls. He went from one to another. And you witnessed him having his first kiss with a girl. Witnessed him having his first date with a girl. You witnessed almost everything he did with a girl.
And yet you couldn't help but wonder. How instead of kissing the girl. He would kiss you.
Instead of going out on fun little date's with a girl. He would go with you.
It pained you to see him with another woman. Knowing that he will never reciprocate your feelings.
He's straight, and you funny enough are Inlove with your best friend.
Funny how fate has its ways.
One night otoya came home from a date he had with another girl. She had broken up with him after she knew that he had kissed another girl.
He flew into your arms, resting in your bed. You once again where there for him.
"I can't believe she broke up with me. Like I know I kissed another girl while I was dating her but I mean...it's not that bad right? C'mon woman are always so dramatic in these type of things..."
Otoya rambled on and on, you didn't pay attention as he vented his experiences on to you. How you wished you could shut him up. And say that your here. For him. You where always here for him.
"Why do you keep going from girls to girls anyways?"
You had questioned, sitting beside him on your bed. Having brought a bowl of snacks, and putting it on the nightstand next to your bed .
"I don't know? Woman are boring I guess... They always have something that I like and then the next moment they seem so boring..."
Otoya explained. You never understood why he went from girl to girl so easily. Most guys would take months to get over theire ex, and here otoya was...
"Im not boring"
You muttured out. In a haze thinking about non other than otoya himself.
"What?"
otoya said. Looking at you with a raised eyebrow, you looked at him confused back, until you realized what you had just said. Your face went red. Realizing the mistake you made
"I mean. Of course I'm not boring... Like Im better than a girl"
You tried to explain yourself, but your words only revealed the truth and truth further. Eventually you stopped talking. This had no point. Your face was beat red. And otoya looked hella confused.
Maybe it's time to tell him the truth, you thought. The room went silent otoya didn't say anything, you refused to look at him, you knew he would look at you weirdly.
"I don't think I can hide it from you any longer"
You said. Sighing, either this will got terribly or terrible pick your poison.
"Hide what? (Y/n)...what are you hiding?"
Otoya asked. Still confused, he looked so adorable. And yet you knew that he would be disgusted if you would tell him
"I've been holding it secret, because I valua our friendship otoya... Your a good friend and I don't want this to ruin our relationship"
You said. Still not looking at him. Your hands where shaking and you where scared so scared of his reaction
"(Y/n) What? Which secret?"
.
.
.
"That I like you''
You finally confessed, still not looking at him. The room went silent once again. You where scared so scared he'd stop being friends with you, otoya didn't have to be your lover. Didn't have to be your friend. As long as your someone he can't trust and be with for comfort. That is enough, more than enough even.
"Dude...I kinda knew
Otoya said, his voice sounded the same as usual, no mockery, no disgust, No anger just the usual.
"What!?"
(y/n) said turning around to see otoya, he looked normal. Not mad not disgusted, just normal
"Yeah dude. I mean I could kinda tell from the stares. And the fact you kept blushing and stuttering around me at one point"
.
.
.
"Oh."
"Yeah''
And it was silent again... Otoya still didn't look mad.
"And you want to know something crazy?"
"What...?"
"I think I like you too"
And once again it was silent, otoya was the same. While you on other hand was completely red. A confused and shocked expression on your face.
"Wait what!? Then why? Why did you date girls the entire time?"
You asked completely shocked. How dare he hurt your feelings while he completely knew you liked him, AND THAT HE HAS THE AUDACITY TO SAY THAT HE LIKED YOU BACK.
"Well I do like girls, but at one point I realized, the girls don't know me well. They're just there for the looks. Eventually I realized, I want to be with someone that can be my best friend"
Otoya said. A cheeky smile on his face
"And who other than my best friend himself?"
Otoya was looking at you with that charming and stupid smirk...that handsome jerk.
"I guess I still dated girls to ignore the feeling. I thought you got over me. But I guess you didn't"
Otoya confessed, leaning against the headboard of your bed.
"Oh...so what are we then?"
You questioned. Utterly confused as what to do. Your glad that otoya actually reciprocated your feeling but, you never imagined it to actually happen.
"Well...boyfriends I guess?"
"Oh... okay... Don't we have to like.. kiss for that?"
"Oh your so terrible at this"
Otoya said moving over to you. His hands made his way to your waist pulling your body closer to him. His lips where inches away from yours. A confused expression on your face. Face red with blush.
And before you could give a reaction he kissed you, full on the lips...it was sweet at first before otoya made it into a heated kiss. And here you where expecting a romantic moment.
At the end of the night otoya stayed over at your house. The both of you watched a movie while cuddling. The both of them fell asleep in eachothers arms. A smile on both of theire faces. It was weird. To be this close to your best friend. But y'know what..
For once (y/n) liked the weirdness.
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Notes: I don't know if this is like actually a masterpiece, or a total piece of shit💀
Bye the way I don't even like otoya that much I just used him for this tripe cuz if feel like it would be the best for him.
Tag list(⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) : @ask-otoya-eita, @sharkissm
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theladyofshalott1989 · 8 months ago
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Time for a Proper Hogwarts Welcome
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Hey hi hello!
I'm Corinne. Nice to meet ya! Here's a little about me:
34. 💖💜💙. Web & SEO Analyst by day / Fanfic writer by night. Former actor (claim to fame: regular background actor on Parks and Recreation S05 and a hot dog commercial LMAO). House Ravenclaw 🦅, but mom to a three-year-old budding Slytherin 🐍.
I primarily write m/m, with my most prolific work being in the Hogwarts: Legacy fandom (Sebastian Sallow/Male MC, my beloved). I am slowly but surely transitioning into the Arcane fandom. I posted my first one-shot (Jayce/Viktor, of course 💕) on AO3 in mid-November 2024.
Check out my writing on [AO3] or [Wattpad].
My ongoing Sebastian Sallow POV Hogwarts: Legacy series is called Like Moths to a Flame. I've pre-written the third book ("You Cannot Put a Fire Out") and it will be fully posted by February 2025. The full series follows Sebastian from the events of HL up to his early forties. Updates weekly!
Relevant tags: #damien evans #like moths to a flame series #sebastian sallow x damien evans #sebastien #like moths to a flame #burning bright #you cannot put a fire out
More after the cut:
For Spotify playlists for most installments of my series (roughly 1-3 songs per chapter) and links to my other social media accounts, check out my Linktree.
I’m also currently teaching myself how to draw. I hit Day 50 of daily sketching in mid-October 2024. If you want to follow along on my journey, everything is tagged under #Corinne learns how to draw. I also posted daily for #Hogtober2024.
Other relevant tags:
To learn about me and my writing: #personal #asks #my writing #my writing process #tag game
And last, but certainly not least, my friend Zev (heyitszev) and I have compiled a 🏳️‍🌈 Queer Hogwarts: Legacy Masterlist. You can check that out here. We’re always accepting recs!
Once again, welcome, and enjoy my ramblings <3
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chr0macide · 1 year ago
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Break In: The Novelette (Fanfic)
Part 2 is out
BOOM FIRST TUMBLR POST. I am currently normal about the Roblox Break In series so I decided to try and recreate it as a short story. This is my first time writing anything seriously for fun so I'm sure the pacing is all kinds of fucked up but I did enjoy making it lol. I tried to follow the game's storyline as closely as possible but I also took a few creative liberties and tried to give the characters more personality, not sure how well it worked though lol. This is just the first Break In but I might also do this to Break In 2 as well, probably won't happen in the immediate future though. This thing is about 9,500 words. If you have any feedback/notice errors please do comment :)
Chapter I – Silent House
An old coupe trundled down the road of a quaint suburban neighborhood. Four kids were crammed uncomfortably inside it. One of them reached into his bag of chips, elbowing his younger sister next to him as he did so.
“Ugh. Watch it, Hadrian,” she grumbled.
“You watch it,” Hadrian replied as he shoved the chips into his mouth. The girl reached over to steal one out of the bag. Hadrian slapped her hand away.
“You jerk!” she shrieked, swinging her teddy bear into Hadrian’s face. Hadrian grabbed a handful of his sister’s dark hair and pulled. The two older kids in the car groaned as their younger siblings began bickering and jostling everyone else around.
“Hadrian. Stephanie. Cut it out,” warned the older sister. The younger kids quieted down, but only slightly. “I’m serious! Prince, tell them to stop,” she said to the driver.
The car ground to a halt. “Monica, it’s fine. We’re here,” said the older brother. He removed the key from the ignition. The engine made a worrisome rattling sound as it shut off. He grabbed the handle of the car door next to him and jiggled it. The door was stuck. “Damn this old shitbox,” he muttered as he forced it open.
The four kids squeezed out and breathed in the fresh air. “Finally,” said Stephanie. Prince walked around the car and popped the trunk open, removing the family’s only suitcase.
They’d parked in front of a modest two-story house. It was old and the paint was starting to peel, but at least it looked cozy on the inside.
The front door of the neighboring house creaked open. Out stepped an older man with sunglasses. Uncle Pete. After Prince and Monica had managed to get custody of their siblings, they all knew they had to get away from their parents’ house.
Pete was wealthy. He owned more than a few properties. He’d agreed to let them stay here for free. They weren’t sure why he owned two houses right next to each other. Old people were weird sometimes, but they weren’t complaining.
Prince waved at Uncle Pete. “Evening, Pete!” he called out. Pete just smiled and waved back.
“He’s, uh, usually nonverbal,” Monica explained to her younger siblings. “Anyway. Let’s get inside,” she suggested.
Prince stuck his hand under the welcome mat and fished out a keychain. He tried to jam several different keys into the lock before the door opened. Everyone stepped inside.
“It’s musty,” Stephanie complained. Hadrian made a beeline for the couch in the living room as he shoved another handful of chips into his face. He collapsed onto it and proceeded to ignore everyone.
“It’s not that bad,” Monica claimed. Truthfully, there was a slight odor in the house, but that was probably just because no one had aired the place out for a while. “Come on, let’s open these,” she said to Stephanie as she unlatched one of the windows.
Prince inspected the kitchen. They hadn’t had a chance to go grocery shopping yet, so the cupboards were barren. He took out his phone. “Pizza, anyone?” he called out to the others. They yelled their approval from the other rooms.
“Fine!”
“Sure!”
Prince punched a string of digits into the number pad and put the phone to his ear. “Is this Builder Brothers Pizza? OK, we’ll have a large pineapple—”
“NO!” bellowed Hadrian from the living room.
Prince rolled his eyes. “Fine. A large pepperoni as well,” he added.
Monica called out to him from the other room. “Prince! Get over here!” she said. Prince finished up the call and followed her voice until he was standing before a door with a large padlock affixed to it. Monica and Stephanie turned to him.
“This door looks cool. Open it,” Stephanie demanded.
Prince squinted at the padlock. “I don’t know… Pete probably locked it for a reason.”
“What, are you scared?” the girl joked. “You can lock it again if there’s a monster inside.”
The eldest brother pursed his lips. He wasn’t worried about monsters, but he’d heard rumors of growing criminal activity around this neighborhood. Although…
Prince rifled through the pockets of his cargo shorts until he located the keychain. He found the right key and inserted it into the padlock. It clicked open and fell to the ground with a dull thunk. Prince gently opened the door.
There were concrete steps leading down into a basement. They couldn’t see anything through the darkness, but the cold, stagnant air rushed out over them.
“That’s ominous,” Monica remarked.
Stephanie grinned in excitement and took a step inside, but Prince put a hand on her shoulder to stop her. “No, Steph. It’s too dark to see anything in there. You’ll get hurt,” Prince told her. Steph stuck out her lower lip and pouted, but she didn’t try to run inside again. Prince shut the door.
The doorbell rang. The pizza was here. At the same time, Hadrian yelled at everyone from the living room again. “Guys! There’s breaking news on the TV!”
“Coming,” Prince yelled back. “You guys go ahead. I’m gonna get the food,” he told the girls.
Prince opened the front door. It was almost dark outside, and starting to rain, too.
“Sup,” said the delivery guy. Prince took a small step backwards. The guy was pretty big. “Two large pizzas?”
“Yeah,” Prince confirmed. He took the pizza boxes and set them aside before he rummaged through his cargo shorts again for his wallet. He opened it. The family had been low on cash ever since they left their parents’ place. He handed a $20 note to the delivery guy, but he continued to look at Prince expectantly. “Uh… no tip this time. Sorry. That’s all I got right now,” Prince admitted, averting his eyes.
The delivery guy threw up his arms in disbelief. “Dude, are you for real?” he questioned.
“Sorry,” Prince apologized again.
The pizza guy shoved the bill into his pocket. He turned around and trudged over to his motorcycle. “This is my livelihood, man,” he muttered. Prince fidgeted with his wallet guiltily as the guy sped off.
Nonetheless, Prince picked up the pizza boxes and brought them into the living room. Right as he set them down on the coffee table, there was a clap of thunder. The lights in the house blinked out abruptly. The TV flickered off.
Monica glanced outside. The streetlights were also off. There was a power outage.
Everyone looked out the window and saw Uncle Pete’s silhouette leave his house through the back door. He ran a cable to a box outside. He ran another one from the box to their own house. The box hummed to life.
“Oh, it’s a generator,” Monica figured. The lights didn’t turn on, but the TV did. Pete noticed everyone staring at him through the window. He waved at them again before running back into his home.
They turned to the TV and started eating their pizza as the news reporter began speaking. The screen showed a gang of mobsters wearing fine suits and tuxedos, their faces obscured by comedy masks. They were dumping a barrel of some unknown liquid into a storm drain. The picture appeared to have been taken through somebody’s broken windowpane.
The Purge has Begun, Villains on the Loose, read the headline. “This is not a drill. Agents of the mafia are roaming the streets,” said the news anchor. The image on the screen shifted. A short video played of a second group of mobsters smashing someone’s car window with his crowbar. They dragged a man out. One of them raised a gun to the civilian’s head, but the video was cut off before anything else happened.
“Goddamn,” muttered Prince.
“Do not engage these fugitives under any circumstances. There have been 19 confirmed deaths and many more confirmed injuries so far. Keep doors locked and windows closed at all times,” the news anchor continued.
Another image appeared on the screen. “Their leader is Larry Clockturn,” said the news anchor.
Monica stifled a laugh at the mob boss’s appearance. A grey beard hid the lower half of his face. He was old, and he definitely dressed like it. Bowler hats were not in fashion. There was a domino mask over his eyes. He wore a violet waistcoat with a rose affixed to the lapel over his black undershirt. A peculiar golden crowbar was in his hand.
The image switched to a mugshot of Larry. Monica stopped laughing. “Wait, that’s not a person,” she said. Now that they were looking at him up close, she realized that his skin was unnaturally shiny. His golden eyes glowed faintly in the dark and his face seemed stiff and lifeless.
“Is he a robot, or something?” asked Stephanie.
“I don’t know… he looks more like an automaton,” Monica replied.
Stephanie looked at her funny. “Is there a difference?”
“Well, yeah,” said Monica. “At least, I think so. Robots use electricity, but automatons have engines or something-”
Hadrian shushed her as the news anchor continued talking. “If you see this entity, run away and hide. Larry Clockturn is considered by authorities to be an extremely dangerous serial murderer. Do not engage him under any circumstances. Special forces have been dispatched to regulate the situation. I repeat, this is not a drill.”
There was static as the program ended. A standby screen appeared on the TV. Nobody spoke at first.
“That shit is wild,” said Hadrian, deadpan. Stephanie peered through the window nervously. “I told you we should have gone to Bloxburg!” she hissed to Prince.
“And I told you, Steph, we don’t have that kind of money.”
“Guys. Be quiet.” Monica was the one staring out the window now, but the streetlights were still off. If there were any mobsters creeping around outside, she couldn’t tell. “Can’t see shit. Maybe they don’t know we’re here, either… let’s just go upstairs.”
Prince grabbed the suitcase he’d left by the front door. He partially unzipped it and felt around inside until he found the flashlight, then switched it on and held it in front of him as he lugged the bag up the stairs. The others followed him from behind until he came to the bedroom. He dropped the bag just inside.
“Phew.” Prince was too tired to unpack, and now probably wasn’t the best time, anyway. He cautiously made his way to the window at the back of the room. It might have been his imagination, but he could almost see moonlight glinting on mobsters’ white purge masks. He drew the curtains. “Let’s just hit the sack,” he said to the other kids.
They were in for a rude awakening.
Chapter II – Broke In
The kids awoke to the sound of shattering glass. Stephanie sat bolt upright and screamed. She fell out of her bed and rolled underneath it, still clutching her teddy.
A mobster had smashed the only window in the room with his crowbar and was now climbing inside. The other three kids jumped up and scrambled away from him. He planted his shiny black shoes on the floor, brushed some glass shards off his tuxedo, and brandished his crowbar at the kids, laughing.
“G’day, cunts,” he greeted them, tipping his fedora at them wryly. He started towards them.
It was only one guy. The kids whirled around, searching for something to defend themselves with. There was nothing except for Prince’s baseball bat… but it was still in the suitcase. Monica ran to the front of the room and shoved the bag flat onto the floor. She started to unzip it.
Meanwhile, the mobster raised his crowbar to bash Prince’s brains in, but Hadrian had skirted around until he was behind the guy. He kicked the back of his leg. The thug folded, eliciting a giggle from the boy, but it was promptly cut short as the mobster shot to his feet and grabbed him around the throat. “Little shit.” He lifted his crowbar again as he throttled Hadrian with one hand.
Monica had the suitcase open. She dug through it, throwing the clothes aside until she found Prince’s chrome baseball bat. She tossed it to him.
Prince caught the bat and turned to the mobster again. “Get away from Hadrian, you asshole!” he yelled as he swung as hard as he could.
There was a sharp ding as the bat connected head-on with the side of the mafioso’s skull. His head was jerked to the side by the impact. He released Hadrian and crumpled to the ground, barely conscious.
Monica rushed towards Hadrian and hugged him. “Are you OK?” she asked, fussing over her younger brother.
“Yeah, I’m fine, I’m fine,” Hadrian replied as he pushed her away, but his voice was wavering a little. He rubbed his neck. The mobster’s grip had left a red mark around it.
Stephanie finally crawled out from under her bed. “What do we do now?” she whispered, staring wide-eyed at the insensible mafioso.
Prince walked over to him cautiously. “We should… uh…”
He didn’t want to kill a guy in front of two young kids. Certainly not his own siblings. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to kill anyone at all. His eyes fell upon the broken window.
“We should… just push him back out through the window. Yeah. It’s not that far to the ground. He’ll be fine,” finished Prince hesitantly. He grabbed the mobster’s feet. Monica grabbed him under the arms. They hauled his nearly unconscious body to the window.
They draped the mobster over the windowsill. Prince gave him a little push. He slid out rather gently and grunted in pain as he hit the ground outside. Now he was really knocked out.
Prince and Monica took a peek over the sill. He was already surrounded by a few of his fellow mafiosos. They glanced up at the teenagers, faces unreadable through their masks. They started to drag their unconscious accomplice into the shadows, where Prince spied his own car. The hood was open. The engine was gone. Looked like they wouldn’t be leaving this place anytime soon.
“Shit. We need to do something before they come back,” whispered Prince, pulling away from the window.
Monica squinted as she looked around the bedroom. She opened the door to the walk-in closet. “There’re some wood planks in here. Maybe we can board up the window…?” she suggested.
“We can board up all the windows,” Prince told her… “except for this one,” he added, nodding at the broken pane. “We’ll use that to see outside.” He retrieved some tools from the suitcase. Monica had told him to leave them behind when they’d moved out of their parents’ house—they were heavy—but now she was glad that he’d packed them anyway.
Prince dragged the planks out of the closet and left them in a pile. He picked up a hammer and went to nail one of the boards over a window at the end of the hall. He swore as he hit his thumb. “Fuck.” The sun was peeking over the horizon, but it was still barely light enough to see.
Monica and Hadrian started boarding up the other windows. They spent all day securing the place, and it was dark again before they knew it. They were all making a lot of noise, but there was nothing they could do about that.
Unfortunately for them, the sound attracted some unwanted attention.
“This was a shit idea.” Hadrian glanced through the gaps in the boarded window. There were more than a few eyes glinting in the darkness outside, glaring at them. “Now they know we’re in here,” he told Prince.
“They already knew we were in here, dumbass. A purger broke through the window and tried to kill us, remember?”
“Oh… yeah. I guess you’re right.”
With all the windows boarded up, there was nothing to do except meander around the house. Hadrian went to the living room and thought about turning the TV on, but he wasn’t in the mood.
He looked at the leftover pizza on the coffee table. He was hungry, but it had been sitting out all night. The power was still gone. The refrigerator was useless.
Hadrian sighed. No eating today.
As he reentered the foyer, Hadrian heard a scratching noise coming from the other side of the basement door. He panicked initially, but when he listened closer… was that mewling?
Hadrian stepped closer. He put a hand on the doorknob and opened the basement door, but only a little. An orange tabby cat slunk through the gap.
“Have you been in there the whole time?” Hadrian questioned, staring at the cat in disbelief. He reached down to pet it, but the cat batted his hand away and hissed. It ran past him and darted through the gap between Prince’s legs—he’d been watching from behind.
The cat jumped up onto a cabinet in the foyer and stared at Hadrian disdainfully. “Tch. Cats are lame anyway,” he muttered as he shut the basement door again. “Wait… Prince, do you hear that?”
There was a strange noise outside. Tires screeched along asphalt to a standstill. There was a loud electrical bang as a pair of headlamps were abruptly switched on outside, flooding the living room with a bright light.
A van had pulled in front of the house, facing them and shining its headlights into the room. Six mobsters got out and stared at the house silently. One of them made eye contact with Prince as he peered through the boarded window. The teenager backed away. He beckoned Hadrian to follow him upstairs.
“Prince? What’s happening?” Monica asked when she saw him.
“More gangsters. Six.” Prince paused as he looked outside again. “They’re just standing there…”
Prince’s brow furrowed in thought. It felt like ages before he spoke again. “I’m staying awake tonight. The rest of you sleep,” he told everyone as he picked up his bat and paced around the room. “I’ll wake you up if something happens.”
“Prince, are you sure? We should sleep in shifts,” offered Monica.
“No. It’s fine,” the eldest refused, waving the suggestion away.
Everyone else got into bed, but Prince walked over to the broken bedroom window again. The mobsters were still staring at the house intently. He stared back, determined. It was going to be another long night.
Chapter III – Tick Tock
It was dead silent. Light from the mobster van’s headlamps was still streaming into the house, but they hadn’t tried to get inside. Prince leaned against the wall, nodding off with his baseball bat in hand. He’d been awake for hours. His eyes began to close.
The sound of glass breaking pierced the night once again. Prince snapped to attention. He heard wood splinter and nails clink against the floor as the mafiosos pried the boards off a window downstairs. He opened his mouth, about to shout for the other kids to wake up, but he instead decided to shake them awake instead. They’d lose the element of surprise if the mobsters figured out they weren’t sleeping.
“Monica, wake up,” Prince hissed, shaking Monica in her bed. Her eyes snapped open.
“What? Did they break in?” Monica asked. She rolled out of bed hurriedly and grabbed Stephanie, dragging her off her bed as well. “Steph, we have to get up. There’re more bad guys.”
“They’re downstairs. Maybe we can get the jump on them,” Prince whispered as he shook Hadrian awake as well. He hesitated before pointing to the hammers they’d discarded after fortifying the house. “Grab one,” he said to Monica and Hadrian. He didn’t want to kill anyone… but these mobsters weren’t leaving them with many options.
Prince grimaced as Monica picked up a hammer. “Actually… Monica, you take my bat. I’ll use a hammer,” he decided.
“Huh? Why?” Monica wondered.
Prince shrugged. “I don’t want you to have to kill anyone,” he admitted.
Monica shot him a look. “I’ll be fine, Prince. Worry about yourself.”
There were footsteps below. The mob was inside. Prince motioned for everyone to follow him.
The mafiosos ascended the stairs. They slunk down the hall. The one at the front reached out to push the door open, hoping to attack a few feckless civilians in their sleep… but he saw nobody.
The door behind them opened instead. Monica buried her hammer in the nearest mobster’s cranium, then wrenched it out. Blood spattered against the wall next to his head, and then he fell onto the carpet with a soft thump, dead. The other mafiosos whipped around at the noise.
Five left.
Monica was clutching the hammer to her chest now, wide-eyed and shaking a little bit at what she had just done, so Hadrian pushed his way past her before the mobsters figured out what was happening. He swung his own hammer at the closest one. The mafioso had no time to raise his crowbar as Hadrian struck him in the forehead, cracking his purge mask. He slumped to the ground as well, knocked out.
Four.
Prince jumped out of the wardrobe and rushed out of the bedroom while the mobsters were facing away from it. One of them bashed his crowbar into Hadrian’s chest, who stumbled backwards, wheezing. Prince managed to strike the side of the aggressor’s head. It bounced off the wall next to him. He heard something break. Maybe the drywall. Maybe his skull.
Three.
Another mobster rushed Prince. He swiftly retreated into the bedroom until he was standing at the broken window. The mobster followed. As he lunged with his crowbar, Prince sidestepped and took the chance to grab the mafioso, hurling him through the window. He landed on the concrete with a sickening crunch and didn’t get up.
Two.
Monica came to her senses. It was just in time, too, because Hadrian was about to be ganged up on by the remaining invaders. Prince came out of the bedroom. “You go left. I go right,” he whispered to Monica. She nodded.
One of the mafiosos lashed out at Hadrian with his crowbar. He raised his weapon to defend himself, but the hammer was too small to block anything. Hadrian yelped as his forearm took the hit. He dropped his weapon as Monica brained the offending mobster.
One.
Prince raised his bat high above his head at the same time and brought it down on top of the other mafioso’s head.
Zero.
The kids stood in silence for a while, breathing heavily. They didn’t hear anyone else in the house. After a minute, Monica spoke.
“Steph, you can come out now,” she said. Stephanie emerged from the guest bedroom wordlessly and clung to her sister’s leg. Monica took Hadrian’s wounded forearm and prodded at the injury. He winced.
“I don’t feel a break. Maybe it’s just cracked. I left my first aid kit in the car,” Monica admitted nervously. She knew it wasn’t safe to go outside right now.
Prince pondered. “We can check the basement first. Maybe Pete left something useful in there,” he advised. He retrieved the flashlight from the bedside table and switched it on as the kids moved down to the first floor. They walked past the window that the mobsters had entered through. Wooden planks and shards of glass lay on the carpet. It crunched under their shoes as they stepped over it.
“Didn’t you leave this closed?” Prince asked Hadrian as he came to the basement, shining his light inside. The door was ajar. He quickly realized what a stupid idea it was to point the flashlight into it. There was a chance someone was lurking there. He turned it off.
Hadrian started backing away. “Yeah, I did… I think?” he whispered.
There were footsteps again. Loud ones.
“Shit,” said Prince.
Hadrian hesitated. “Wait, I think it’s just one guy. We could take him.” Indeed, only one pair of feet could be heard, and yet, the floor shook as the basement dweller began to climb the stairs.
“No! That guy sounds huge! Hide!” Prince whispered harshly, pulling Hadrian—who winced again as his forearm was jostled—along with him. They and the girls ran away from the basement door as silently as they could.
Prince put his hand on the sill of the broken window, about to jump outside, but he saw too many masked men in the shadows. He doubled back and whirled around, searching for somewhere to hide. There was only the storage cabinet in the kitchen. All four of them squeezed in. It was a tight fit. They almost couldn’t breathe, but they all froze as the trespasser reached the top of the basement stairs. Prince peered through the thin gap between the cabinet doors. The guy was so tall that he needed to duck underneath the doorframe. There was a faint ticking noise emanating from him.
The ground quaked with every step Larry Clockturn took. His golden LED eyes lit up in the dark. The glow glinted off of the violet mask on his eyes. He was far more daunting in person. As he walked near the shattered window, the moonlight illuminated his tarnished metal face and the steel wires that served as his beard.
He passed the open kitchen door. Monica saw a large wind-up key affixed to his back. I told you he was an automaton, she wanted to whisper, but this wasn’t a good time.
The mob boss walked past the kitchen and out of sight, but the kids heard his footsteps move to the stairwell. The first stair, decayed with age, splintered and caved under his weight. Larry cursed and swung his crowbar at the wall in anger, annihilating the plasterboard. He tried the second step. It groaned under his mass, but it held this time. He made his way to the second floor.
Prince hadn’t realized he’d been holding his breath, but now he was almost gasping for air as he pushed the cabinet doors open and darted towards the basement. The other kids ran after him.
He swore internally as he almost tripped on the first step. It was still dark in there. He turned on the flashlight just long enough to make it to the bottom.
It was chilly. The kids huddled together in the darkness.
“H-he knows we’re still in the house,” stammered Monica, voice shaking. “He was here when you shined the flashlight in the first time. He had to have seen it. What are we going to do?”
Prince said nothing. He was out of ideas. All they could do was shut up and hope Larry didn’t think to come back here.
But the mechanical ticking returned. Larry did come back.
The automaton’s silhouette appeared at the top of the stairwell. The light from his eyes, still glowing golden in the dark, faintly illuminated his face.
There was a tinny creak as Larry tilted his head, staring into the basement. It was pitch black inside. Maybe he couldn’t see them, the kids thought.
Larry’s lips parted into a malicious grin. Prince flinched in surprise. He hadn’t realized the mob boss could emote with his metal features… but he didn’t come inside. Instead, he turned from the basement door and walked away, his steel exterior clanking as he moved.
There was a loud crack as Larry forced the front door open instead of leaving through the window he’d broken.
“What an asshole,” Prince grumbled.
Monica touched Prince’s arm. “Why didn’t he come inside?” she wondered.
Prince shrugged. He didn’t know either.
“Maybe he’s playing with us.”
It wasn’t a comforting idea, but they didn’t hear Larry’s footsteps anymore, so…
“Turn the flashlight on. We have to search this place,” Monica told Prince. He did.
The shelves were cluttered with supplies and knickknacks Uncle Pete had left behind. Pete, Prince suddenly remembered. He hoped the guy was alright, but there was nothing he could do for his uncle right now.
A good portion of the items were littered across the floor as well. Larry and his mobsters had trashed the place. Prince swept the flashlight across the ground.
“There.”
He pointed to a discarded first aid kit.
Monica picked it up. “Thought we’d never catch a break.” she took a broken piece of shelf as well and assembled a makeshift splint for Hadrian’s forearm. It wasn’t pretty, but it would hold until they figured out how to get to a hospital.
In the meantime, Prince perched the flashlight on a shelf to rummage through some carboard boxes. “Oh my god. Finally,” he exclaimed as he pulled out a bag of cheese puffs from one of them. The box was full of junk food, but it felt like the kids had struck gold after having nothing to eat for a day and a half. They gorged themselves, but once they were full, they were unsure of what to do next.
Prince looked pensive. “We can’t stay down here,” he eventually said. They had no clue how long the purge was going to last, and they couldn’t subsist on their meager supply of junk food for long.
Monica didn’t say anything at first. Prince was right, but the streets were still teeming with every kind of criminal.
She had an idea.
Chapter IV – Delivery
“This is dumb as hell.”
“Just put it on,” urged Monica.
Prince finished buttoning up the tuxedo. He pulled the purge mask over his face.
They’d swiped the disguise off of a dead purger they’d left upstairs. Monica reached for the second mask that they’d looted, but Prince stopped her.
“Nope. You’re staying here,” he told her.
“You serious? You can’t go out there alone.”
“Yes the fuck I can. Besides, someone needs to stay with those two.” Prince motioned to Stephanie’s tiny form and Hadrian with his arm in a splint.
Monica sighed. “Fine… be careful.”
Prince picked up one of the dead mobsters’ crowbars. Monica took a step back and looked him up and down. “I think it’ll work. Just act casual,” she said.
 After peering outside, Prince grabbed the windowsill and vaulted over it. The mobsters lurking nearby didn’t even glance at him twice.
 The nearest convenience store was just up the road. Prince could see it from here, but as he started walking, his shoe slid on the ice beneath him. He almost fell. The wet asphalt had frozen overnight.
There was a loud guffaw from a group of mafiosos passing him by, but then one of them slipped on the ice as well and fell on his face. The other gangsters laughed even louder. “Man, shut y’all’s asses!” he hollered at them.
Prince had frozen in place for a few seconds, almost thinking he’d blown his cover, but he quickly regained his bearings. He left the gangsters to bicker amongst themselves. They seemed a lot less menacing when they weren’t trying to kill him.
As he continued towards the convenience store, Prince passed by the house of one of his neighbors. Of course, he hadn’t had a chance to meet them yet, but he still wondered if they were doing alright.
There was an earsplitting scream from inside the house, then a gunshot. The distant voice of a mobster reached Prince’s ears. “Aww, come on! I was gonna play with her first!”
Prince scrunched his face up in disgust under his mask. Nevermind. Fuck these guys.
He made it to the convenience store. The place had been nearly bled dry, but there was some fruit left in the produce crates. Prince opened the sack that he’d taken with him. He reached for an apple.
There were two mobsters sitting on the counter nearby. They turned their heads towards Prince. They were masked, but he could feel them giving him an odd look. He faltered, then grabbed the edge of the fruit crate, tipping the entirety of its contents into his sack. The mobsters looked away, losing interest.
Phew. Prince threw the sack over his shoulder and almost ran back to the house.
Monica met him at the basement door. Panic flashed through her mind until she realized it was Prince. “What did you get?” she asked as they returned to the basement.
“Fruit.”
“Lame,” said Stephanie.
Prince took his mask off and shoved an apple into her tiny hands. “No, it isn’t. You need it after eating all that junk food.” He didn’t notice the sound of a motorcycle pulling up to the front of the house.
There was commotion in the kitchen upstairs. Utensils and cookware clattered against the floor tiles.
Prince foisted his crowbar over his shoulder as he turned to the stairs. “I gotta say, I’m getting real tired of this shit,” he muttered to Monica before he returned to the ground floor.
As he reached the top of the staircase, he hesitated. This dude was kinda big, he thought as he scrutinized the person wrecking his kitchen. There was no time for Prince to change his mind, though—the mobster saw him.
“There you are.”
He sounded vaguely familiar, but Prince had no time to muse as the guy charged at him.
Prince responded in kind. He rushed at the mobster and raised his own crowbar to block the blow. There was a sharp clang as their weapons met.
It was almost like a sword duel, though not nearly as graceful. Prince was no trained fighter, but neither was the mafioso, apparently. He accidentally hooked a vase with his crowbar, sending it shattering against the floor. The opponents staggered around the foyer, neither of them gaining the upper hand at first
The mobster couldn’t get a hit in. He grew impatient and lunged forward. He swung too wide. Prince backpedaled away from the strike, and now, for an instant, his foe was wide open.
Prince delivered an uppercut to the mafioso’s face with his crowbar. The force of the strike knocked his mask askew.
The mafioso collapsed to the ground heavily, dazed and confused. “Ugh…”
Alright, Prince had absolutely met this guy before. He reached down and pulled the guy’s mask all the way off.
Prince stared.
“Dude, are you fucking kidding me?”
It was the pizza guy from a couple days ago. He sat up gingerly, rubbing his chin, and spat a glob of blood onto the carpet. “Shouldn’t have fuckin’ stiffed me, you asshole!”
Prince threw his arms up in exasperation, still gripping his crowbar. “I told you I didn’t have any more money! And you come into my house and trash the place over it? What is your problem?”
The delivery guy eyed Prince’s crowbar. He straightened his bowtie as he spoke. “OK, don’t be like that, man. A guy paid me to do it. You’re not the only one hurting for cash,” he said, pointing his finger at the boy. “The big metal dude,” he continued. “I’ve been running with the mafia for a while now, but this morning he shoved a crisp hundred into my hand and told me to come in here. Take you guys out. And, uh, he looked like he was gonna kill my ass if I said no, so… here I am, I guess.”
Prince glared at him for a moment. “Man, just get the hell out,” he said, pointing his crowbar at the open door.
The pizza guy looked outside. “Uh… actually, I think I’m gonna chill in here for a while.”
“Excuse me? No, you are not. You just tried to kill me,” Prince snapped.
The guy held up his hands in surrender. “The big guy is gonna fillet me like a fish when he finds out I didn’t get rid of you guys! I’m not going back out there,” he said. “Besides, he paid me in advance, man. I ain’t gotta do shit no more.”
Prince mulled it over. This guy wouldn’t get out of his house, but Prince definitely didn’t want to kill him, either.
“Whatever. Fine. What should I call you?” he asked.
The pizza guy stood up unsteadily. “Isaiah.”
 “OK, Isaiah, you said you’ve been running with the mob for a while. Any clue how we might get away from here without dying?” Prince asked.
Isaiah deliberated for a moment.
“The sewers. The mafia normally uses it to move around the city, but It’s empty now that they’re on the streets…” He paused again as he formulated a plan. “I overheard a li’l bit of intel. The national guard made it to 5th Street. We head in that direction. Get behind their lines, where it’s safe. Then we can exit the sewer. No sweat.”
Prince didn’t have any better ideas. “Fine. Get in here, man. Leave the crowbar,” he warned Isaiah as the ruffian reached for his fallen weapon. “No funny shit.”
“I wasn’t going to do shit,” he muttered as they descended into the basement.
The other three kids drew back suspiciously as they saw Isaiah. “Prince? Who is that?”
“He’s the pizza delivery guy,” Prince replied. “From the day we moved in, I mean. He’s…”
Prince gave Isaiah the side-eye.
“He’s chill,” he decided. “And he told me how we can get out of here. We’ll walk through the sewers until we meet the national guard.”
The other kids glanced at each other. “Unless you guys would rather stay here…?” Prince added. They all heard a bout of submachine gunfire in the house across the street.
“Nope. Let’s get out of here,” Monica said. “Tomorrow morning?”
Isaiah raised an eyebrow. “Why are we waiting?”
“It’s midnight. We gotta get some sleep,” Prince said.
Isaiah’s eyebrows crept even higher. “You guys have been sleeping at night this whole time? You can’t be doing that shit during the killing purge! How are you people still alive?”
The kids murmured inaudibly. They didn’t really know, either.
Isaiah shook his head incredulously. “Whatever. I don’t know where you got that disguise, Prince, but there had better be more. Your buddies will get jumped in no time if they go out looking like that,” he said.
Prince retrieved some more suits and a couple of crowbars from the dead mobsters upstairs. The second floor was starting to smell really bad. He was glad they were leaving soon.
The disguises were a little ill-fitting on Monica and Hadrian, but Stephanie wasn’t going to be able to wear one at all.
“What are you going to do about her?” Isaiah asked.
Prince scratched his head as he thought. “I saw a manhole cover real close by. We’ll just have her walk in the middle of us ‘til we make it into the sewer.”
“If you say so.”
The group stepped out. Stephanie stood in the middle of the bunch, hopefully obscuring her from the mobsters’ sight.
They had almost made it to the manhole cover when they heard a crash in the distance. A shrill alarm pierced their ears. Someone had smashed one of the convenience store’s windows open and set it off. The group turned to see who was responsible.
They saw a shape with glowing eyes through the glass door of the store as he strode into view. Larry downed a can of cola before crushing it in his hand and throwing it aside. He turned to look at the street.
The automaton looked blasé as he surveyed the darkened neighborhood, but his expression shifted to one of suspicion as his eyes fell on the group. Then he looked furious.
Their disguises hadn’t fooled him. Larry kicked the door open and started towards the group.
“God fucking damn it!” roared Isaiah as he hauled the manhole cover off the ground and thrust it aside.
“Get in!”
Chapter V – Clockturn
Everyone clambered down the ladder and into the sewer.
Stephanie held her nose. “It smells really bad in here.”
Something heavy tumbled into the manhole after them, landing on Prince’s head. “Ow! What the hell?” he exclaimed.
It was the same cat that had come out of the basement earlier, and it started yowling as Prince pried it off his scalp.
“Guys, he’s coming! Fucking run!” Isaiah shouted at the group. He’d broken into a sprint as soon as his feet touched the floor. “And shut that cat up! It’s gonna give our location away.”
Prince set the cat on the ground. Thankfully, it stopped screeching, but it did follow them.
The kids raced after Isaiah. “Do you know where you’re going?” Prince panted.
“Yeah, I’ve been down here before. Just stay behind me,” Isaiah assured him. “Take this right!”
As they rounded the corner, Monica risked a glimpse behind her. The concrete ground fractured beneath Larry as he jumped into the manhole after them.
The corridors twisted and turned as Isaiah led everyone further into the sewers. He barreled through iron gates in their path. Some of the paths had collapsed and been replaced by flimsy timber.
Hadrian stumbled. A board slipped out from under him. He was about to fall into the fetid sewage, but Prince reached to fish him out.
Isaiah got there before him. Hadrian’s shoe had just touched the water when the mafioso forcefully pulled him back onto the walkway.
“Hey, be careful! His arm is hurt!” scolded Monica. Isaiah simply jabbed his finger at Hadrian’s foot.
Hadrian wiggled his toes. The tip of his shoe was gone.
“I forgot to let you guys know. I saw some other mobsters pouring something into the storm drains,” Isaiah explained as he continued to run. “Whatever it was, it was corrosive as hell, ‘cause the drain stared melting. Don’t fall in there,” he finished, pointing at the water channel.
Isaiah veered left into a round clearing in the sewer. He came face to face with another gate, but he almost bashed his head into it as it refused to open. The kids skidded to a stop as he grabbed the bars and rattled the door. “This wasn’t locked before!” he shouted in frustration.
The mobster wedged his crowbar through the edge of the gate and tried to pry it open, but it wouldn’t budge. The kids glanced at each other anxiously. “Maybe Larry doesn’t know where we went,” Monica whispered.
No such luck.
They heard the ticking of his cogs before they saw him.
Larry rounded the corner. He was moving at a leisurely pace, but his footsteps were still fairly thunderous as he strolled across the improvised wooden bridge.
The automaton came to a halt as he reached the other side of the walkway. The kids could only stare at him. He was blocking their only escape.
Larry put a hand on his crowbar, leaning on it like a cane. He ran a hand through his wiry beard. His LED eyes swiveled as he looked the group over.
A lanky delivery boy, down on his luck.
Some high school dropout with a hero complex and his doormat of a sister.
A kid with a broken arm. His youngest sibling, hugging her teddy bear to her chest.
Larry laughed to himself and booted the wooden board behind him. There was a low sizzle as it fell into the waterway and began to disintegrate. The kids were trapped. His gaze shifted back to the group.
“What do you think you’re doing, Isaiah?” said Larry in his metallic peal.
His voice sent a chill up the kids’ spines. It was sonorous and hollow, filling the entire corridor.
Isaiah didn’t reply. He only yanked his crowbar out of the still-locked gate. It was futile. He walked to the front of the group.
If Isaiah wouldn’t talk, Larry would. “It’s not too late for you to follow orders, young man. Get rid of them.”
Isaiah didn’t move.
The crime lord raised an eyebrow. “Interesting decision.” Larry lifted his crowbar with one hand and rested it over his shoulder as he advanced on Isaiah.
“Hold on, boss, I-”
Isaiah cut himself off as Larry swung his crowbar. The mobster managed to duck under the blow so that it connected with the wall instead. The stone bricks cracked under Larry’s strength.
There was no reasoning with this guy.
No one knew how they were going to take Larry down, but he couldn’t go after all of them at once. Everyone scattered across the room, but the littlest was too slow.
Larry grinned as he reached down and snatched Stephanie by her tiny arm.
“No!” cried Prince. He rushed towards the automaton.
The cat was quicker. Prince had almost forgotten it was there, but it leapt onto Larry’s face, scratching and hissing. He cursed and released Stephanie. Prince pulled her away and swept her into his arms as the mob boss reached for the feline instead.
Its claws did nothing except piss Larry off. He ripped the cat off his face and flung it aside as he straightened his tie. It hit the wall before sliding to the floor and going limp, still mewling pitifully.
Stephanie normally would have begun crying by now, but she must have known it was no use this time. She gazed down at the teddy bear in her hands. It was the only toy she’d been able to take with her when the siblings had left their parents. Its voice box didn’t work anymore, but she turned it over and looked at the pull-string attached to it. She looked up at the golden wind-up key on Larry’s back. Still in Prince’s arms, she reached for it.
Stephanie twisted the wind-up key counterclockwise with all her diminutive might while Larry’s back was still turned. A steely bang sounded from inside him, followed closely by the jarring noise of an engine backfiring. The automaton flinched violently. He nearly toppled over, but he caught himself and whirled around, lunging with his crowbar furiously as he did. Prince backpedaled hurriedly, but the very edge of the crowbar just barely caught Stephanie’s cheek, ripping off a layer of skin.
“Bastard!” roared Prince. He set Stephanie down behind him. She ran into her sister’s arms. Monica steered her over to Hadrian before she went to confront their aggressor.
The group had figured out Larry’s weak point, and now he was a lot more wary. Prince, Isaiah, and Monica circled around him, but he’d turn and lunge again whenever one of them took so much as a step towards him. The three comrades glanced at each other. They all knew one of them had to engage the automaton while another tried to reach his key, but none of them particularly wanted to be stomped into red paste.
Before anyone grew audacious enough to rush Larry, the kids heard yet another odd noise. There was a resonant clang as the automaton’s steel plates snapped apart along the seams. A deafening mechanical whirr filled the sewer. All of a sudden, there was a cyclone of buzzsaws where he’d been standing a second ago.
Larry charged at Prince, who had to dive out of the way to avoid being sliced to gory ribbons.
Blood sprayed against the stone brick wall. Prince cried out as he hit the cold floor. He’d been too slow. The blades had caught him anyway. Fortunately, his arm was still attached, but there were several deep lacerations. Larry had sliced him all the way to the bone.
A pool of red bloomed under Prince as he collapsed. Monica rushed over to where she’d dropped her first aid kit. With wounds like that, he was going to bleed to death if she didn’t do something, but she couldn’t get near Prince while Larry was standing between them.
The automaton’s buzzsaws ground to a stop and clicked back into his casing. His plates snapped shut again as he stood above Prince.
Larry had his back to Hadrian now. He was so close. He had to do something. Hadrian ripped the splint off his own arm. He knew he was probably about to make his injury worse, but that was far better than dying here.
As Larry raised his crowbar to finish Prince off, he felt a pair of hands on his wind-up key.
Hadrian turned the key counterclockwise. Larry grunted in pain again as even more of his gears jammed, but he swung his weapon behind himself immediately this time.
Hadrian reeled as the crowbar struck his torso. He gasped for breath as he hit the concrete. Great. Now he had both a cracked forearm and a cracked rib cage. Larry turned away from Prince, heading for Hadrian instead.
Monica bolted to Prince’s side and started tying a torniquet around his bleeding arm. As she tended to him, Isaiah stepped in between Larry and Hadrian.
Larry narrowed his eyes. “Get the fuck outta the way, kid.”
Isaiah didn’t.
Larry scoffed and brought his crowbar down upon Isaiah with one hand. Isaiah gripped his own weapon as hard as he could with both hands and held it up to shield himself.
Their weapons clashed. Isaiah staggered, but he managed to remain on his feet. His crowbar vibrated in his hands with the aftershock of Larry’s blow, but he maintained his grip on it.
Larry raised his eyebrows, mildly surprised. Perhaps Isaiah wasn’t as lanky as he’d thought. He shook his head at the mobster.
“Little shit. I gave you a job when you were about to be homeless, and this is how you repay me?”
Larry attacked again, grasping his crowbar with both hands now. Isaiah did lose his weapon this time. It skittered across the concrete and into the corrosive water.
Monica sprang for Larry’s wind-up key. He swung his crowbar into her face without looking at her. She flew back and hit the ground, unconscious. Prince dragged himself towards her. He was starting to become lightheaded from the blood loss.
Larry swung again. With nothing to guard himself with, Isaiah took the hit squarely in the chest. He crumpled to the floor, winded.
The automaton circled him. He gave the mafioso a kick in the ribs with his steel-toed shoe.
“Come on. Is that all you can take?”
Isaiah choked out a couple of choice words. “Fuck… yourself…”
Larry scowled and opened his mouth to speak, but the cat hauled itself from the stone floor and launched itself at his face again, caterwauling and clawing with renewed fervor.
That was all Prince needed. He scrambled to his feet and leapt at Larry’s key. He grabbed it with his uninjured arm and wrenched it counterclockwise one more time.
Something rattled inside the automaton. His gears shuddered to a halt. There was a hiss as steam escaped from the vents on his face. His glowing golden eyes blinked off.
Larry lurched forwards and hit the ground with a crash, deactivated.
Epilogue
Prince opened his eyes blearily. He instantly shut them again. The lights were unpleasantly bright. He tried to shield his face, but the ensuing jolt of pain jarred him fully awake. Oh, right. He’d taken a buzzsaw to the arm.
He used his other arm to cover his eyes as he opened them. Prince was lying in a hospital bed.
“How’s it going, man?” said a voice from the left.
The boy turned his head. Isaiah was in the next bed.
“Is everyone else alright?” Prince rasped.
“Yeah, looks like it. Hadrian and Monica are right over there,” Isaiah told him, gesturing with his head to his left. “And there’s the li’l one,” he added.
Prince looked at the bed across from him. Stephanie was clambering down. She ran over to Prince and grabbed his hand, bouncing excitedly. “You’re OK!” she exclaimed.
“Hey, Steph. Ow. Don’t do that,” Prince croaked as Stephanie jostled his bandaged arm, but he was smiling. “How did we get here?”
Isaiah let his head fall back onto his pillow, brow furrowed in thought. “Uh. You beat the big dude. Or disabled him, at least. I don’t know. You passed out right after, and then… I think I heard Stephanie crying for a while. Someone above us heard it, too. They lowered a ladder into the sewer. Yeah, there was another manhole above us, apparently, but no ladder attached. Hah,” Isaiah laughed shortly. “They thought we were mafiosos at first, but I guess they figured out we weren’t when they saw Larry on the ground. And then they brought us here.”
The hinges on the hospital door squealed as a nurse walked in. “Oh! Some of you are awake,” she observed. “Don’t disturb your big bro right now, young lady. He’s going to need a lot of rest,” the nurse told Stephanie as she carried her back over to her own hospital bed.
“As for you…” the nurse examined her clipboard. “Prince Aguilar? Emancipated minor…” she read. “I’ve been told that you got into a fight with Larry Clockturn. You’re all lucky to be alive.”
“You ain’t lying,” Isaiah muttered. The nurse shot him a look.
“You should all be fine once we’re done patching you up,” the nurse continued. “But…” She checked her clipboard again. “Monica Aguilar appears to have taken quite the blow to the head. We’re monitoring her, but we aren’t going to be able to assess if there’s any brain damage until she wakes up.”
Prince sat up. “Brain damage?”
“Don’t worry, don’t worry. We would be able to tell by now if it was serious,” the nurse assured Prince, urging him back down onto the bed. “At most, she has a concussion. She’ll be alright.”
Prince lay down again gingerly. “OK… I guess.” He was silent for a moment… but he was also curious.
“What happened to Larry?”
“Larry Clockturn? The police are handling that. They haven’t given me many details, I’m afraid,” the nurse told Prince. “All I know is that they haven’t moved his body yet. And the so-called ‘purge’ is over, by the way. Most of the mafia turned tail and ran after they figured out Clockturn was gone,” she laughed. “National guard didn’t encounter much resistance after that.”
Prince didn’t ask anything else. It was the nurse’s turn, now.
“It says here that four of you are siblings. Prince, Monica, Hadrian, and Stephanie Aguilar. And Isaiah… Smith,” she said, walking over to Isaiah’s bed. “It is to my understanding that you are affiliated with the mafia.”
Isaiah’s eyes widened. “Uh, I mean, like-“
The nurse held up her hand to stop him. “I’m not a police officer, but don’t be surprised if they come in here to question you guys at some point. I just wanted to warn you about it, so you aren’t blindsided,” she explained.
“Yeah… yeah, OK. Cool,” said Isaiah, even though it was not at all cool.
The nurse nodded. “Well, that’s it for now,” she said as she turned to leave. “Just sit tight. The doctor will be along soon.”
Prince took a deep breath. Larry was deactivated. They were out of the sewers. The purge was over. They were in a hospital at last. Everything was fine again.
In the sewers, however, things were not so fine. Police tape lined the walls of the room Larry had collapsed in, cold and unmoving. Officers surrounded him.
One of them looked up at the manhole high above them. “We could airlift him…?”
“Through that tiny opening? I’m not so sure,” his Lieutenant responded. No one was certain about how they were going to get this colossus out of the sewer and into police custody.
“We might have to move him all the way through the tunnel. Into the nearest water-”
The officer was cut off and his head jerked back as a bullet pierced the middle of his forehead.
The other cops drew their service weapons. The round had come from the other side of the locked iron gate. They returned fire. So did their assailants.
There was no cover in the room. More officers dropped dead. One of them tried to speak into his radio. “Shots fired. All units to the 5th-”
He was shot dead as well before he could finish.
The Lieutenant glimpsed something through the metal bars of the gate. Something green and glowing. He fired reflexively. The round ricocheted off metal. He stared into the darkness, confused, but there was no time to ponder as bullets continued to whizz past his ears.
“We’re taking too many casualties! Fall back!” yelled the Lieutenant.
The remaining officers ran from the gate and disappeared around the bend of the tunnel, leaving Larry’s body behind.
The mobsters lowered their guns. Their leader, who had been watching from the back of the troupe, made her way to the iron gate. Her high heels clicked against the concrete. The sound echoed through the now-quiet passageway.
She towered above her cohorts. The lock on the gate broke easily as she raised her slender arm and forced it open with one hand.
The lady reached the felled automaton. She walked around his inert figure and clicked her tongue in disapproval.
“Take him,” she ordered.
The mobsters, with some difficulty, lifted him up and carried him into the small speedboat they’d used to traverse the sewer’s water channels. The motor roared to life.
As the helmsman steered them back to the river outside, he glanced at his boss. “We’re not gonna reactivate him, Miss Gearwise?”
“No,” she answered shortly.
“Then… what are you going to do with him?”
The lady’s icy gaze fell on Larry. The corners of her metallic green lips curved up into a small smirk.
“I have a few ideas.”
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agathasstrap · 1 month ago
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ᯓᡣ𐭩 welcome mi amor!
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𝜗𝜚ྀི — WRITING REQUESTS ARE NOW OPEN
𝜗𝜚ྀི — requests are open for memes & reactions / pfps & icons
about me: my name is callie, and i'm from peru! I spend a lot of time working and studying towards my dream of being a pilot. i want to travel the world, and i'm very very invested in learning the cultures/customs of different people. for much of my life i've found film as a way to escape the things around me that were difficult or hard, and it was always a way to immerse myself into a new world that was more positive and exciting. i can play the guitar and the drums, i can draw really well, i love sushi, and i love to read. i go for runs a lot, usually a mile or two a day, and my favorite sweet treat is peruvian chocolate. films and tv are a big part of my life, and i'm super excited to be able to share this love with so many people across this platform. i'm pretty new to tumblr, and even though i speak english fluently it is not my first language, so please be forgiving!
my interests/fandoms: as i said, i really like television, so here are a few of my favorite things; killing eve, agatha all along, grey's anatomy, supernatural, loki, stranger things, loving annabelle, the sex lives of college girls, hunger games trilogy, yellowjackets, wandavision, legion, parks & recreation, the witcher, grand army, harry potter, all of tim burton's movies, yellowstone, sweeny todd (specifically the demon barber of fleet street), oceans 8, carol, cruella, law and order svu, orange is the new black, derry girls, how to get away with murder, wednesday, n.c.i.s., bridgerton, elite, and criminal minds!
𝜗𝜚ྀི — tags to look for from now on include ;;
# strap&yap – for any rants or blurbs!
# calliereplies – replies to asks/reqs!
# witchcons – for all icons/pfps!
# calliewriteswitches – writing & fanfics!
# reactsbycallie – any memes & reactions!
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topxmenfan · 1 year ago
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I felt so upset when ao3 was down then I remembered that all of the fanfiction I read is from smaller fandoms or less popular characters that get updates a couple times weekly on average. I downloaded all of my favorites already too. It hurt to see ao3 down but I didn’t have much to read already
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anewstartfanfic · 1 year ago
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Got inspired by an idea from a chat I did with @silver-kitsuneneko XD
It’s based off of a scene from the show “Parks and Recreation”
So it’s from her One Piece reader insert fanfic “A New Start” and the Reader’s rival, Holly, is crazy jealous that Reader has all these hot guys as friends. So she gets a boyfriend and he’s pretty much a Frankenstein of all the boys XD
Guess who he gets help from~🤣🤣🤪
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xxhypersomnia · 1 year ago
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About the Tumblr...er?
I love talking with others - so strike up a convo with me about any of these things! MDNI +18
Nice convos only. If you say anything just to be a turd, I will not reply. I’m not here for negative energy. ☮️ ☮️
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Name: Ray Age: Early 30s Pronouns: she/her Occupation: Animal Shelter Professional Sign: Aries Favorite Color: cerulean blue Favorite Animal: Coatimundi, Orca Hobbies: Warhammer, Dragon Age, Reading Non-fiction, Painting, singing, theatre Favorite Fictional Characters: Din Djarin, Inigo Montoya, Paddington, Megara Fictional Characters I Identify with (Can you see a theme? - it may not be the theme you're thinking): Korra, Ellie Williams, Sailor Jupiter, Cassandra Pentaghast, Leslie Knope, Nadija of Antipaxos Favorite Online Personalities: Shane & Ryan, Brittany Broski, Miles Bonsignore, Safiya Nygaard, Trixie & Katya Celebrity Crush: The one and only Pedro Pascal Fanfic Favs: Joel Miller, The Mandalorian Favorite TV Shows: The Last of Us, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Drag Race, Community, The Mandalorian, Sailor Moon, Adventure Time, Regular Show, The Dick Van Dyke Show, Dexter, Parks and Recreation, Spongebob, Futurama Favorite Movies: Just Friends, Howl's Moving Castle, The Labyrinth, Nacho Libre, Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, Dumb and Dumber Favorite Travel: Norway, Iceland, London, Utah Music On Repeat: anything Classical, Post Malone, Orville Peck, Elvis, Amelia Moore, Magic Sword, Doja Cat, The Chicks, Carly Rae Jepsen, Ashnikko, Lauv, Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, Audrey Nuna, Yung Gravy, Peach PRC, Reve, Kim Petras, Kah-Lo, WILLOW, My Chemical Romance, Paramore
TikTok: xxhypersomnia
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Photo: Me from Ren Fest 2022 😋
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weaselandfriends · 1 year ago
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Detective Pony
I recently received an ask from @querimoniousqueer about whether I had ever read Detective Pony by sonnetstuck. I hadn’t, but decided I should, so I read it over the past week.
Going in I knew almost nothing about it beyond the joke in Homestuck proper, in which Dirk sends Jane a vandalized copy of a Pony Pals book with substitutions made to the text for comic effect. The Detective Pony fanfic extrapolates off that premise and provides a Dirk-ified version of the entire novella.
At first I wasn’t particularly sold on the premise. Revisiting the story’s first page (which Hussie himself created in Homestuck), it’s actually not that funny. At the beginning of Act 6 Hussie took the opportunity of the new universe to update the in-universe date from April 13, 2009 to November 11, 2011. This is not a particularly long stretch of time but to emphasize this shift Hussie decided to throw in several references to what is, I assume, the singular piece of new media he had consumed during that period: the sitcom Parks and Recreation.
I’m not sure how hilarious Hussie thought it was to change a supporting character’s name to Pawnee Township, Indiana, the fictional setting of Parks and Recreation, but in 2023 the reference feels phenomenally dated, without the self-awareness of the intentionally dated references to Con Air elsewhere in the comic. Though the reference is a bit more interesting metafictionally (does Dirk, living in post-apocalyptic future Earth, intend to make a reference to a work popular in 2011, making it contemporaneous and thus relevant to Jane?), now that the audience of Homestuck is no longer themselves contemporaneous to Jane it’s hard to even crack a smile beyond the simple audaciousness of the premise.
As Detective Pony (the fanfic) continues, it quickly grows dull. In Homestuck, the joke is fairly short and works because of its aforementioned audaciousness, so seeing a subsequent 20-30 pages of what is basically the same idea repeated over and over (everyone swears, everyone is violent, the cat is Satanic, plus a few non sequitur references) wore me down pretty quickly.
Fortunately, the fanfic has some major cards to play.
The first longform philosophical digression on the corruption of lolcat memes grabbed my interest, and as the story goes on, an entirely new metafictional narrative emerges in which Dirk, the cynical and too-smart-for-his-own-good authorial figure, comes into conflict with the more earnest and sincere characters (and original author) of Pony Pals. A dichotomy is established between the intellectually probing but ironically detached nature of one authorial voice and the childish but emotionally honest nature of the other. The authorial voices begin to wage war against each other, with Dirk’s orange-texted narrative attempting to cover up the black-texted narrative of the other voices, leading to a complex series of machinations and an eventual exposing of Dirk’s bitter loneliness and self-doubt.
This all sounds rather familiar.
Indeed, halfway through this fic, I had to scroll to the top and check the date it was posted. October 14, 2014. Predating Homestuck’s Epilogues by roughly five years.
I find it difficult to believe that Hussie or his Epilogue co-authors had not read Detective Pony prior to writing the Epilogues. The thematic overlap is immense, let alone the explicit plot and metatextual elements, let alone the fact that all of those elements revolve specifically around Dirk. That’s not to say the two works are identical. Detective Pony leans far more heavily onto its author’s extensive knowledge of Western literature and philosophy (including significant references to Derrida, Dante, Plato, Socrates, and others), while the Epilogues aggrandize the scope of stakes of the plot and weave in a far wider amount of character threads.
I’d recommend Detective Pony to anyone still confused or potentially even hurt by the Epilogues; the “character assassination” done in Detective Pony is done to characters from a story about ponies for little girls as opposed to your beloved Homestuck characters, so it might be much easier to approach, grapple with, and understand the themes of the Epilogues without the large amount of emotional baggage characters like Jane, Jake, Jade, Dave, and so on carry with them. It might shed more insight on what Hussie and his co-authors were attempting with the Epilogues, though you might also find it a bit dull if you’re not familiar with Derrida or the other frequently-quoted philosophers within the text. I’m not a philosophy person myself (way more of a classical fiction junkie), but still I was able to follow along and enjoy it.
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third-arch · 9 months ago
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Things I could see Kanna and Law being outside my fanfic!!
Ft. My OC Kanna and Trafalgar Law!!
-Podcast/News Show hosts (Reporting Live from the Polar Tang Network)
-Zookeepers (Kanna would work with like the pandas and lions and giraffes and Law would work with the penguins, seals, otters, etc.)
-Comic bookstore workers (they’d both be at the counter.)
-Just as Parks and Recreation characters LOL. Law would be Ron and Kanna would be a hybrid of Leslie, Chris, and an introverted version of Andy.
-Workers at a volunteer organization. Law would be like one of the bosses who’s been there for a long time, while Kanna would either specialize in a certain area or be like his assistant helper.
-I’d be interested to see them as a writer (Kanna) and editor (Law)
-Crime investigators! Or maybe Law would be like the sheriff and Kanna would be the next in line to take his place, kinda like Fargo. Or like Rusty and Marty.
-They’d own like one of those Doggy Daycare things or be Dog School trainers(idk what they’re called LOL) like where they train your dog and watch over them while you’re at work.
-Travel vloggers (with very very little face cam) they’d go to all kinds of places and just talk about their discoveries. It would be cute if like they got married during their channel was active, and you’d start seeing their wedding rings.
-Movie reviewers. It’s mainly Law’s thing. It’s him being all analytical and everything and Kanna just like “Aw cool :0”. Law finds her presence very charming and sweet, even if she doesn’t really like the movie.
-They go to Cons together, where Kanna has her art booth and Law is just the supportive and nerdy husband. Either that or they just go to cons and go to different panels together. They’d go to like the concerts and maid cafes and aaa it would be so cute :))
I forgot I had been writing this 😭😭 I smiled so much seeing this in my drafts!!🌸🌸🌸
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