#parker macmillan iii

[lovelandfrogman]

blasetober day 25: parker+megan

ok too tired 4 new stuff today. here’s some icons i made for my art fight page :]

[tallymarkbrothers]

[Prime, Three, Four and Commish are now open for asks!]

[fogwitchoftheevermore]

was missing the third life!blaseball au today so i decided to doodle some of my favorite parker macmillan tweets but with martyn to satisfy my brain (plus one lizzie and one "the watchers as tgb" tweet for extra fun). i wanted to do more than these but then my pen started dying so i'll put the rest of the tweets i wanted to do below the cut so i can hopefully come back to them when i eventually fix that issue.

[pennysperfectpolls]

Preliminaries round 1 Coin Bracket

Penny (SpongeBob) vs The Penny (US Currency) vs The Giant Penny (Batman) vs the Coin “Boss” (Blaseball)

Propaganda under the cut

Penny (SpongeBob) Propaganda

• The penny from SpongeBob’s “Indoors” song. Has the most beautiful voice, according to Patrick.

• ok so you remember that episode of spongebob where he refuses to leave his house and starts talking to inanimate objects? specifically a chip a penny and a used tissue?? and then sandy and patrick finally get him to leave his house and then they get attacked by a gorilla??? anyway im submitting the penny

The Penny (US Currency)

• It is Shiny, it is long lived. Truly there is no greater Penny than that which lives in your wallet and couch cushions?

The Giant Penny (Batman)

• Truly an Iconic Penny

• Is literally a very large penny

The Coin “Boss” (Blaseball)

• The Coin is the physical embodiment of capitalism. She was a sentient coin who implemented many new rules upon Internet League Blaseball, and eventually suffered deicide at the hands of over a dozen Blaseball teams that rushed the mound. She served as the antagonist for seasons 12-24 of the Beta, also known as the Expansion Era. After the players killed the Shelled One, she took over as the new boss for Internet League Blaseball (distinct from the commissioner, who was Parker MacMillan III, IIII, or IIIII, depending on what era it was). She pushed Internet League Blaseball into a new era of peace and prosperity, with a focus on profits. A number of these resulted in expansions of the snacks, and one of the most controversial was the decision to vault players, locking them away from our plane of existence or understanding. She later introduced Consumers, which looked suspiciously like sharks. As teams became weighed down by their players' Soulscreams, they were more likely to be attacked, resulting in players having their stats reduced. Chorby Soul was perhaps the biggest victim of this, being attacked by consumers over 100 times and being incinerated three separate times. In the 24th and final season of the Expansion Era, a black hole opened and began swallowing teams. However, many teams banded together to charge the mound and commit deicide on The Coin. "There is no blood, because there is no guilt." - The Garages, Deicide.

[andiatas]

Royal(ish) Reads: Jul-Sep 2024

Note: Some of the following links are affiliate links, which means I earn a commission on every purchase. This does not affect the price you pay. Also note that all titles mentioned are written by historians, researchers, or scholars. Only in rare cases are featured titles not written by someone with training in historical research.

For more book recommendations like in this post, you can follow my blog & Instagram

The Tragic Life of Lady Jane Grey by Beverley Adams (published Aug. 30, 2024) // All His Spies: The Secret World of Robert Cecil by Stephen Alford (published Jul. 4, 2024) // Dancing With Diana: A Memoir by Anne Allan (published Sep. 10, 2024)

Son of Prophecy: The Rise of Henry Tudor by Nathen Amin (published Jul. 15, 2024) // Planning the Murder of Anne Boleyn by Caroline Angus (published Aug. 30, 2024) // The Last Days of Richard III and the fate of his DNA by John Ashdown-Hill (new paperback version published Sep. 26, 2024)

The Fall of Egypt and the Rise of Rome: A History of the Ptolemies by Guy de la Bedoyere (published Sep. 10, 2024) // Richard Beauchamp: Medieval England's Greatest Knight by David Brindley (new paperback version published Aug. 29, 2024) // A Voyage Around the Queen by Craig Brown (published Aug. 29, 2024)

Henry III: Reform, Rebellion, Civil War, Settlement, 1258-1272 by David Carpenter (new paperback version published Sep. 24, 2024) // Stuart Spouses: A Compendium of Consorts from James I of Scotland to Queen Anne of Great Britain by Heather R. Darsie (published Sep. 30, 2024) // Prince Eugene of Savoy: A Genius for War Against Louis XIV and the Ottoman Empire by James Falkner (published Aug. 30, 2024)

Normal Women: From the Number One Bestselling Author Comes 900 Years of Women Making History by Philippa Gregory (new paperback version published Sep. 26, 2024) // The Romanovs: Imperial Russia and Ruling the Empire, 1613-1917 by Professor Lindsey Hughes, Professor Erika Monahan (2nd edition published Sep. 19, 2024) // Lady Pamela: My Mother's Extraordinary Years as Daughter to the Viceroy of India, Lady-in-Waiting to the Queen, and Wife of David Hicks by India Hicks (published Sep. 3, 2024)

Hannibal and Scipio: Parallel Lives by Simon Hornblower (published Sep. 26, 2024) // Oliver Cromwell: Commander in Chief by Ronald Hutton (published Aug. 27, 2024) // Catherine, the Princess of Wales: The Biography by Robert Jobson (published Aug. 1, 2024)

Henry V: The Astonishing Rise of England's Greatest Warrior King by Dan Jones (published Sep. 12, 2024) // Courtiers: Intrigue, Ambition, and the Power Players Behind the House of Windsor by Valentine Low (new paperback version published Sep. 17, 2024) // Kings & Queens: The Real Lives of the English Monarchs by Ann MacMillan, Peter Snow (new paperback version published Sep. 12, 2024)

The Romanovs Under House Arrest: The Russian Revolution and A Royal Family’s Imprisonment in their Palace by Mickey Mayhew (published Aug. 30, 2024) // Queen Victoria's Favourite Granddaughter: Princess Victoria of Hesse and by Rhine, the Most Consequential Royal You Never Knew by Ilana D. Miller (published Aug. 19, 2024) // Cooking and the Crown: Royal recipes from Queen Victoria to King Charles III by Tom Parker Bowles (published Sep. 26, 2024)

Pure Wit: The Revolutionary Life of Margaret Cavendish by Francesca Peacock (new paperback version published Sep. 12, 2024) // Henry VIII and the Plantagenet Poles: The Rise and Fall of a Dynasty by Adam Pennington (Sep. 30, 2024) // Everyday Life in Tudor London: Life in the City of Thomas Cromwell, William Shakespeare & Anne Boleyn by Stephen Porter (new paperback version published Aug. 15, 2024)

Kingmaker: Pamela Churchill Harriman's Astonishing Life of Seduction, Intrigue and Power by Sonia Purnell (published Sep. 19, 2024) // The Secret Diary of Queen Camilla by Hilary Rose (published Sep. 26, 2024) // Adventures in Time: Heroes: The Box Set by Dominic Sandbrook (published Aug. 29, 2024)

Adventures in Time: Heroines: The Box Set by Dominic Sandbrook (published Aug. 29, 2024) // Justinian: Emperor, Soldier, Saint by Professor Peter Sarris (new paperback version published Sep. 12, 2024) // Women in the Valley of the Kings: The Untold Story of Women Egyptologists in the Gilded Age by Kathleen Sheppard (published Aug. 19, 2024)

Marriage, Tudor Style: Love, Hate & Scandal by Sylvia Barbara Soberton (published Jul. 29, 2024) // A History of the Roman Empire in 21 Women by Emma Southon (new paperback version published Jul. 4, 2024) // A Rome of One's Own: The Forgotten Women of the Roman Empire by Emma Southon (new paperback version published Sep. 17, 2024)

Cleopatra: The Woman Behind the Stories by Alexandra Stewart and Hannah Peck (published Aug. 15, 2024) // The Wisest Fool: The Lavish Life of James VI and I by Steven Veerapen (new paperback version published Sep. 5, 2024) // The King's Loot: The Greatest Royal Jewellery Heist in History by Richard Wallace (published Aug. 8, 2024)

The Beaumonts: Kings of Jerusalem by Kathryn Warner (published Sep. 30, 2024) // Emperor of the Seas: Kublai Khan and the Making of China by Jack Weatherford (published Sep. 26, 2024) // Ravenous: A Life of Barbara Villiers, Charles II's Most Infamous Mistress by Andrea Zuvich (published Jul. 30, 2024)

[thebaltimorecrab]

ANNOUNCEMENT + Round 1 notable moments, and the matches for Round 2

HEY! If you reblog a post with propaganda, please let me know if you want me to copy and paste that propaganda into any other matches including that player. For example: if you wrote a post encouraging people to vote for Jon Halifax, let me know if you would like for me to include your statements in Halifax's next match.

If you would like to submit propaganda, you can do so via asks, tagging me, reblogging a specific poll, etc.

I will try to ask people individually, but that's a lot of work and I've already got quite a bit on my plate, aside from the brackets.

Now, notable moments (in my opinion):

Tillman Henderson got out in the first round, proving there is a God and he is merciful. Tillman lost to Logan Horseman.

I think (I'm like 95% sure) that Oliver Notarobot beating Reese Clark was the biggest upset so far. On a scale of 1-90, with 1 being least likely to win and 90 being the opposite, Oliver was 42 and Reese was 87.

Kaz Fiasco beat Chorby Soul, which was probably the match with the most propaganda (including both actual posts and tags that say "VOTE X")

Juke Gnocchi, an incin replacement we got in Season 2, got farther than Parker MacMillan did. Considering that they're roommates/enemies, this is hilarious to me.

Brisket Friendo vs. Tot Fox was the closest match, with Brisket at 50.8% and Tot at 49.2%

Meanwhile, Monique Flowchart vs. Silvaire Roadhouse had the biggest difference between votes, with Monique at 11.1% and Silvaire at 88.9%

Now, here's the round two matches. LINKS WILL BE ADDED AFTER THE POLLS ARE POSTED. The polls are currently scheduled to post at 1:30 pm on the 15th, but who knows when I'll be able to sit down and add links.

Alexandria Hess vs. Combs Duende

Amos Melon vs. PolkaDot Patterson

Grit Watson vs. Luis Acevedo

Ilhan Latch vs. Nagomi McDaniel

Joyner Rugrat vs. Fish Summer

Jacoby Podcast vs. Silvaire Roadhouse

Avery Cascabel vs. Logan Horseman

Herring Winfield vs. Pedro Davids

Matheo Tanaka vs. Axel Campbell

Chorby Soul III vs. Bentley Finnegan

Uncle Plasma II vs. Parker Parra

Chae DeShields vs. Brock Forbes

Miguel Peterson vs. Evelton McBlase II

Lenjamin Lin vs. Tiera Wigdoubt

Aldon Cashmoney IV vs. Kaz Fiasco

New Megan Ito II vs. Valentine Games

Elijah Glover vs. Trinity Smaht

Holden Stanton vs. Flattery Strewnberry

Conner Haley vs. Bevan Underbuck

Scruffs Sunkcost vs. Adalberto Tosser

Thomas Marsh vs. Juke Gnocchi

Star Ali vs. Declan Suzanne

James Mora II vs. Sutton Dreamy

Rosa Holloway vs. Oliver Notarobot

Javier Howe vs. Lorcan Smaht

Grapefruit Walnut vs. Michelle Sportsman

Özlem Suttner vs. Forrest Best

Vaquita Magno vs. Finn James

Pierre Haley vs. Jon Halifax

Nico Sigh vs. Robbins Schmidt

Samothes Dembélé vs. Brisket Friendo

Uncle Plasma III vs. Kennedy Loser

[companionwolf]

Wolf's F/Os

Romantic

John 'Central' Bradford (XCOM) - ship tag: f/o tag

Queerplatonic

Parker MacMillan IIIII (Blaseball) - ship tag: honeycake

Platonic

Roger Cumstone, Jordan 'Jordie' Arseno, Caesar Bridges, Gavin Westover, Magdalana (Glass Cannon Network's 'Get in the Trunk) - ship tag: trunk buddies

Harris Schafer, Roman Moritaka, Clinton Barker (LoadingReadyRun's 'Alien: Heat Death') - ship tag: laudomia crew

Kitchens (unMadeGaming's ALIEN RPG 'Dotverse') - ship tag: kitchens

Jay Merrick (Marble Hornets) - ship tag: friends with fireflies

Tim Wright (Marble Hornets) - ship tag: what if this storm ends?

Peter Strasky (SOMA) - ship tag: impact event

Rusty Nickel (Geomon) - ship tag: guiding light

The Reader (Blaseball) - ship tag: trustfall

Parker MacMillan Prime (Blaseball) - ship tag: gentler stars

Parker MacMillan III (Blaseball) - ship tag: unmonitored

Parker MacMillan IIII (Blaseball) - ship tag: best friend!

Sam Yao (Zombies Run) - ship tag: voice in the dark

"What are We?"

Evander 'Ever' Rishon (my own OC) - ship tag: evermore

James 'Lucky' Garrett (my own OC) - ship tag: lucky star

Other Potential F/Os

Robert Melnikov (ReGenesis)

Jeanne (Fuga Melodies of Steel)

... this one's a secret (Delta Green)

[veilk]

[ID: Multiple twitter exchanges involving Parker MacMillan III, @/blaseball. The first reads: _stephenbell_: dude chill Parker: you chill I didn't ask for this samrosenthal: Parker, tone. Parker: you, tone samrosenthal: Settle down. This is a good topic for your internship journal. The second reads: samrosenthal: Hey, unlock your account. samrosenthal: We need to talk about how you handle pressure. Parker: it locked by accident The third reads: [username cropped out]: Great that Dominic Marijuana hasn't been evaporated yet because of his involvement in the stats leak. Parker: these are people /End ID]

these park3r tweets from season 2, during the first incinerations.... i feel like this 🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨

[dedsec-pony]

PRELUDE /// FALL BALL

a silly little Blaseball poster series that I did over the course of Fall Ball and was inspired by the level title cards of Ultrakill! These were insanely fun to do!...

wait what's this?

ALL NEW BLASEBALL IS CALLED

PRELUDE /// FALL BALL EXTRA

[lovelandfrogman]

blasetober day 15: parker macmillan iii

OK i was busy and low on inspiration today, so this is something from a bit ago but coincidentally @blaseballbrainrot requested a parker so it's perfect!!

i doodle the parkers ALLLLL the time i gotta post them more. this is me messing w my park3r design slightly, he has one eye here for funz!!

[tallymarkbrothers]

Welcome! @tallymarkbrothers is a blaseball ask blog featuring the Parkers MacMillan in an AU where they all survive season 24, stay in the vault for a while, then move into Anchorage together when the black hole recedes and takes blaseball with it. Various shenanigans ensue

Asks are open!

Links Intro #ic (chronological) "Where's Two?" "What do you think of the gods?" Event: The Reader Event: Cattish Event: Inktober

Mini character bios below!

The Parkers

Parker MacMillan #prime - he/they - Down to earth and relaxed - Embracing the calmness of not having to worry about blaseball - The closest to a parental figure for the group - Handled his trauma pretty well all things considered

Parker MacMillan II #two - he/him - Presumed dead until he appeared at their door one day - Prime is suspicious of him... - ███ ███ ███████ ███████ █████

Parker MacMillan III #three - he/him - Soft spoken - Polite - Whatever's under his mask, he'd rather you don't see

Parker MacMillan IIII #four - any pronouns - Happiest guy you'll ever meet - Always has a smile on his face - Everyone is their best friend - If you're sad she's sad - Doesn't like thinking about when they were percolated

Parker MacMillan IIIII #commish - he/him - A bit feisty, can and will bite people (and has) - Despises being called Five - Mostly over his visceral hatred of the other Parkers' existence - Wielder of the microphone  - Got fangs after feedbacking his brain with a cat's

Other Characters

The Reader #the reader - they/them - Hops from city to city doing tarot readings - Mischievious and loves to mess around - Doesn't actually always speak in splorts metaphors

New Megan Ito yet to appear - any pronouns - Travels a lot - Occasionally visits the Parkers but otherwise doesn't see them often - On decent terms with Prime, friends with the other Parkers

[callibones]

ive gotten a handful of notifications from folks findin this post who dont know what happens in blaseball. this is just one of the many fascinating ways this story tackles the erosion of identity under capitalism in really interesting ways! in particular, blaseball keeps coming back to this idea of replaceability. for example:

parker macmillan, the star player turned destroyer turned commissioner of the league, has this in SPADES. when a parker dies, the next one is just "Parker MacMillan" with a new tally mark. a lot of us were mostly around for the tenure of Parker MacMillan ||||, who became commissioner after Parker MacMillan IIII got turned into coffee and Parker MacMillan III... exploded? something else happened to parker, too, among many other players. i'll get to that.

megan ito was parker macmillan (the first one)'s contemporary (and canon rival) until they echoed into static, becoming nonexistent. the league replaced them... with New Megan Ito. a different person named New Megan Ito. fun!

these two were very very important to the gods running blaseball, because parker macmillan was the son and star moneymaker for The Coin, a fan-turned-boss of blaseball. and megan ito was their rival in a gay way so the coin and parker and megan have probably had a really awkward meal together or something. that's none of my business. (my personal interpretation is that the "New Megan Ito" was something of a twisted gift to her son. your rival died? aw :( heres a new one! just like replacing a pet with "(Petname) 2.") not every player was individually that important! so when players die (constantly), usually they just get immediately replaced with someone else.

there were two gods running blaseball: The Shelled One, and later The Coin. The Shelled One picked favorites. they turned a bunch of Dans into Peanuts and Daniels into Peanutiels and told the league to get these guys to the top of the favorite player leaderboard or suffer Consequences. (these consequences were: stuffing unfavorite players into peanut shells! this turned out to be really useful for going on strike and getting a scab machine. the scab also went on strike.) the unfavorites were all as disposable as ever, but the favorites were so important that they all... got mind-controlled into being the champions of the shelled one when it came time to punish the league for our collective action. like striking. (and fraud!)

the other god, The Coin, let us pick the favorites! and then put them in a vault where they couldn't work anymore or do anything except Be Sealed In A Vault because they were soooo special. and then she sent soulless funko pops of them to go play instead. and also made funko pops of her son and their New rival.

if the gods don't care about you: you are easily replaceable with someone else at a moment's notice. if you stop working, you will be punished, replaced, or both.

if the gods care about you: this is worse. you will be forged into a perfect worker at the cost of your soul (and possibly your personality altogether).

if you didn't understand blaseball before, i hope this post makes you more confused about it. but, like... in a way where you're interested in making sense of it. i will ALWAYS infodump about blaseball on request. give me a topic and i will go OFF with my half-remembered possibly-wildly-inaccurate explanations.

one of my favorite little blaseball details was the reveal that the parker macmillans didnt have roman numerals they just had tallies. like that was DARK

[fogwitchoftheevermore]

👀 martyn and/or rendog for the mcyt blaseball au?

Oh my god ok so time to divulge a secret. While I said there were three legs of this AU (Empires, Hermitcraft, and the Life Series) I just cannot get the Life Series branch to Totally work. I don't know why, I just have a much more difficult time assigning teams to the Life Series players than any other SMP. I think it’s probably got to do with how wildly different everyone’s story is in any given season and something to do with the fact that dying in a Life Series is just wildly different that dying in Empires or Hermitcraft and that difference just doesn’t transfer quite right to a Blaseball AU.

However the Life Series branch of this AU does exist, and it has basically just become a treebark AU at this point, so you're in luck. You're especially in luck because Martyn still exists in the Hermitcraft AU, so I'll give you them in both!

Let's start with Hermitcraft, because that's the simple one.

Ren Dog is a shortstop for the San Francisco Lovers with the Charm modifier. He spends his time off the field as the test dummy for Doc’s experiments or Martyn’s video games, making any given reporter fall in love with him, and watching a lot of Flormula 1.

The Charm modifier is one that allows players who have it to periodically charm their opponent into failing. In Ren’s case, this means getting the pitcher to throw an extra ball or two with a well timed smile or wink. All the lovers have it, but ladies (and gentlemen and others) get in line, because Ren is particularly good at it. Ren is also the captain of the Lovers- self appointed- because he thinks he’s good at that (he’s not but they let him have this).

Martyn isn’t a player in this universe (but it’s not off the table! It never is off the table to become a player, if the Hermits are looking to add anyone to season 10). He’s just a regular guy doing regular guy things. He and Ren are at the very least living together, I’ve not decided if they’re married. I don’t know why but something in my bones is telling me that Martyn is a video game dev for his day job.

Ren’s Assigned Garages Song: i’m in love with a blaseball player

Sorry I’m not giving Martyn one because he doesn’t play

Martyn Inthelittlewood is our Parker Macmillan in this AU because I am nothing if not consistent.

Martyn I started his career as a first baseman for the Alaskan Immortals during Pre-History. He was one of the best players in the League and made the Fans, some of whom are Watchers, because the metaphor is literally right there, lots of money due to his Profit modification, which increased idol payouts x10. Fans of teams that weren’t the Immortals got jealous and cursed him with Non-Proft, baring any Immortals fans from making money off of him, as well as Firewalker, which would curse any team he left with team wide instability. If the Immortals Watchers wanted to make money off of Martyn, they’d either have to leave the team that he was single-handedly bringing to every championship or risk his leaving the team killing the entire team.

The Watchers chose to risk it.

And then a lot more stuff happened to Martyn I that I’m not gonna get into, and I’m going to assume that you’re a Blaseball fan, anon, so you already know all this anyways. If you’re not, I’d absolutely be willing to explain but this post is already so long without it. Anyways, Martyn I gets trapped in the Vault for an undisclosed number of years and clones get made of him that don’t remember any of this.

We don’t know what happened with Parker II, so we don’t know what happened with Martyn II either. This will never fail to make me deeply deeply angry.

Martyn III is made the intern-interim commissioner of the newest era of Blaseball, the era in which Ren was a season 1 player.

Ren Dog was a first basemen for the LA Tacos while they were still the LA Tacos. He’s our Wyatt Mason in this AU, if you haven’t gathered. This also means he should be way worse of a player than I made him but I felt bad doing that. When the Grand Unslam happened and the world fractured around him, every member of the Tacos suddenly lost their names, the only identifier Blaseball players had at this point, and became Ren Dog. Martyn III guided the Fans (Watchers and Listeners alike cause why not) in restoring all the members of the team, except for Ren. Because that’s just not how this works. It never is.

Ren dissolved into static and became the Microphone, his own entity separate from the gods and management of Blaseball. He plays by his own rules and helps save the world from the guys in charge. Martyn III might not be a fan of the guys in charge, but he doesn’t understand the Microphone, and it scares him, and he doesn’t know why.

It should be known that while Blaseball was running I was a diehard for Parker/Wyatt, and so that heavily effects this whole thing. Specifically, a very important thing to me was that Wyatt/Ren was a normal person during pre-history when Parker I/Martyn I was playing Blaseball for the first time. The Boss (the Watchers) weren’t his biggest fan and maybe, just maybe, the Watchers pulled some strings to put Ren in the latest iteration of Blaseball so they don’t run the risk of him and Martyn III meeting each other and talking for too long. What happens to Ren in the Grand Unslam is just helping keep them apart even more.

However, what Ren is doing as the Microphone is bad for business. Very bad. So maybe they pull another few strings to send Ren very far away for, ideally, a very long time. And maybe they equally orchestrate some bad things happening to Martyn III and Martyn IIII so that they finally get the perfect puppet with Martyn IIIII.

But nothing ever works out the way they want. Because the game, the business, is falling apart at the seams. Because Martyn I is still in the Vault, dead set on getting out, and when Martyn IIIII finds out that he isn’t his own person? That he’s a clone of a man that’s still alive and still angry? That he’s missing memories most of his life because they were taken from him?

Yeah he doesn’t take it so well.

He finds himself asking the Microphone- Ren- for help. He doesn’t know why. But Ren can’t reach him where he is, so Martyn takes ahold of the Microphone himself, directs the new generation of Fans into taking down the old ones, the Watchers, who are now management and straight up ending the world. And he does take them down, but the world still ends, and inside that Black Hole, everting gets weird for Martyn.

It’s a side effect of taking up the Microphone- you don’t do that and not get weird.

Ren’s still not quite around, never really will be again, but now that Martyn’s taken up the Microphone, they can talk. And this Martyn is not the one that Ren knew and loved long before all of this, but he also kind of is? He used to be, even if he doesn’t remember it? But admittedly, Ren isn’t the Ren that Martyn knew either. They’ve both changed beyond belief, and maybe they can have something new together now. And maybe having something new means having it in the void at the end of the world but, well, at least they get to have it.

I care about them a lot in this AU they make me crazy.

Martyn’s Assigned Garages Song: firewalker with me

Literally what else did you expect

Ren’s Assigned Garages Song: ENCORE

I’ll be frank this one’s a bit of a cop out because Rain is a Garage and this is a Blaseball song but it wasn’t released under the Garages label. But look it’s just so good.

[pennysperfectpolls]

Penny poll bracket 4 Finals!

The Coin “Boss” (Blaseball) vs

Alfred Pennyworth (DC Comics)

Propaganda under the cut

The Coin “Boss” (Blaseball)

The Coin is the physical embodiment of capitalism. She was a sentient coin who implemented many new rules upon Internet League Blaseball, and eventually suffered deicide at the hands of over a dozen Blaseball teams that rushed the mound. She served as the antagonist for seasons 12-24 of the Beta, also known as the Expansion Era. After the players killed the Shelled One, she took over as the new boss for Internet League Blaseball (distinct from the commissioner, who was Parker MacMillan III, IIII, or IIIII, depending on what era it was). She pushed Internet League Blaseball into a new era of peace and prosperity, with a focus on profits. A number of these resulted in expansions of the snacks, and one of the most controversial was the decision to vault players, locking them away from our plane of existence or understanding. She later introduced Consumers, which looked suspiciously like sharks. As teams became weighed down by their players' Soulscreams, they were more likely to be attacked, resulting in players having their stats reduced. Chorby Soul was perhaps the biggest victim of this, being attacked by consumers over 100 times and being incinerated three separate times. In the 24th and final season of the Expansion Era, a black hole opened and began swallowing teams. However, many teams banded together to charge the mound and commit deicide on The Coin. "There is no blood, because there is no guilt." - The Garages, Deicide.

Alfred Pennyworth (DC Comics)

• The most man of all time. He’s a father, he’s a butler, he’s the smartest guy there. Iconic!!

• Honestly, wanted to make sure he made it in for the poll runner. But, he's badass, even if I don't typically go for DC characters.

[caligulalotus]

i was going to do something with these but i found some tweets from when park3r experienced the first few incinerations that i hadn’t seen before and i think i just need to sit here for a minute.

[Image ID: Three twitter screenshots. The first is a screenshot of BLASEBALL COMMISSIONER HAUNTED (@/blaseball) replying to @/dhamster. The tweet reads: “this is an unpaid internship”.

The second is a screenshot of BLASEBALL COMMISSIONER HAUNTED (@/blaseball) replying to @/chimera_brain. The tweet reads: “this was supposed to be my summer internship. i don’t know what’s happening. i’m 19.”

The third is a screenshot of a conversation between Aisling Jensen (@/CompliantHornet) and BLASEBALL COMMISSIONER HAUNTED (@/blaseball). The first tweet from Aisling reads: “have you considered incentivizing incineration? it’s new to the blaseball tradition, sure, but it should be welcomed!”. The second tweet from blaseball reads “people are dead”. End ID.]

[hallmonitor]

hello parker