#parents having birthdays two weeks apart problems

[violetclarity]

are you doing research for each of your parents on what they should get the other parent for their birthday, or do you have siblings?

[nathaslosthershit]

Tensions Fall (Teen Dad!Oscar AU)

(part 2 to Tensions rise, also apart of this AU although these two fics can be read separately)

A/N: 7 weeks since the once happy couple have actually talked. 7 weeks since they shared a bed, but with their two toddlers starting camp for the first time, maybe they can try and mend their problems.

Warnings: Parental separation, a super mean mom like the ones I have to deal with at work, angst WITH A HAPPY ENDING

May 28, 2024

It had been 7 weeks since the fight in Suzuka that effectively ended Oscar and Honey’s relationship. It had been 7 weeks since Oscar had taken a leave of absence from racing in order to try and make amends with his family. He still trained everyday, he still worked with McLaren and did Sim Racing, he just never attended any of the Grand Prixs. 

It had also been 7 weeks since Honey and Oscar had shared a bed. 

Since that night she left their room, she had stayed in her kids’ hotel room till they got home. She then packed her things and moved into the guest bedroom. Things had been far from amicable between the two parents. In the beginning, Oscar had done all he could to try and make up with Honey but when she continued to give him the cold shoulder, he had given up and reciprocated her attitude. The children, about to turn 4 years old, didn’t know the full extent of what was happening at home. They knew that when they would go to their parents’ room in the morning, only Dad would be there, but this was easily explained away when Honey told them that Oscar snored too loudly and it kept her up at night.

They had of course also noticed how different their parents had acted towards each other, and how often their father was home now, but they just didn’t question it because at the end of the day, they were too young to begin to understand, and they still had two parents who loved them as much as they could.

Since the fight though, it was clear Oscar was making much more of an effort to take his kids out to do activities. At first it was nice, Honey got some time alone, something she rarely got anymore, but the more Oscar took over planning activities, the more she began to hate being alone. After three, almost four, years of being around her kids almost 24/7, the silence started to eat away at her. And in turn, her kids started to miss their mom more. 

Finally though, Honey had put her foot down, after a long conversation, ending in a fight, Oscar had agreed to more full family activities, even if it meant having to pretend with Honey that they were still the happy and perfect family. 

While their kids loved going to the park as a family, any parent around could see that the two parents watching their twins on the bench were fighting but trying so hard to conceal their whispered harsh words behind smiles. 

With the twins' fourth birthday coming up on June 8th, Oscar and Honey had been stressing on how they were going to plan their birthday while they couldn’t get through a conversation without being at each other's throats. They also had the kids’ first day of camp coming up May 29, a day that may seem insignificant to most parents, but as the kids had never been to preschool, nor a daycare, camp was their first introduction into that whole system. It was a big step for everyone.

Honey had been trying to prepare the kids the best she could for their first day at camp. She knew they didn't fully grasp the concept and she was nervous about leaving them alone, scared they would feel abandoned as child-care with non-familial adults wasn’t something they had experienced with their mother being a stay at home mom, only ever enlisting help from grandparents, cousins, and even ‘honorary uncles’ such as Logan and Lando. She had to keep telling herself that in the end, they will at least have each other. 

Oscar and Honey decided to make a day of it. Camp wasn’t until 9, so the pair took the very excited Hudson and Frances out to breakfast where the 3 year olds managed to cover themselves head to toe in maple syrup and chocolate from their pancakes, causing them to have to rush home to change, thus leading the family to a late arrival to the preschool building that the camp was held in. 

“We are so sorry, oh my goodness!” Honey said to one of the two teachers who were clearly waiting for them outside the door to the classroom.

“We decided to take these two to breakfast and they got more food on their clothes than they did in their mouths. Which reminds me, I added two extra changes of clothes to their bag in case they need it.” Oscar added, causing Honey to shoot him a glare that was luckily not seen by the younger of the teachers, as the younger teacher was too busy ogling at Oscar to notice. It was her that added the clothes to their bag, it was also her idea, he was being petty by taking credit.

After a few moments of silence as they waited for the woman’s reply, she managed to snap herself out of whatever daydream she was concocting only minutes after meeting the young father in front of her to reply with a quick, “No problem! We know how these kids can be.”

The older woman next to her clearly could sense her coworker was a little two focused on one of the parents and pointedly urged her to take their bags to their cubbies while she sorted the family out, which Honey was grateful for. She may have not been with Oscar anymore but that lady didn’t know it and had no right to eye fuck him in front of her and her children of all people. 

“Why don’t you all say goodbye out here, we are just about to start morning meeting with the other kids.” The older woman said as she stepped to the side to give the family privacy, thought she was close enough to hear all they would say.

Oscar and Honey both felt tears begin to form as they squatted down in front of their kids. 

“Alright, Mommy and Daddy have to go now, but you both are going to stay here and make some new friends. I know this is new and might be a little scary but if you guys get through today, we can all go get ice cream later. How does that sound?” Honey asked, nervous one of her kids was going to break down in tears at any moment. 

“Okay! Bye Mommy, bye Daddy!” Frances yelled as she ran through the open door to the classroom, clearly ready to get started.

Oscar and Honey weren’t necessarily shocked at what their very clearly extroverted daughter had just done, but they still had expected a little bit of pushback from her. They could see the older woman by the door laughing softly to herself at that interaction. 

Their son, Hudson, was less enthusiastic. He didn’t cry, which they had fully expected him to, but he gave them crushingly tight hugs, or as crushing as he could manage, and a quick kiss on the cheek before following after his sister.

Wiping away tears, they both stood up and laughed once they looked at each other's faces, realizing they were both far more of a mess than their kids.

“Wow, maybe we should have been giving ourselves pep talks for weeks instead of them” Oscar joked. Honey laughed, it was the first normal interaction they had had in what felt like forever. 

The older woman, still by the door, quickly joined in, “Oh don’t worry, we find parents are usually the ones with the most trouble at dropoff, but that moment they find you both after a day of camp or school, you will feel just how much they missed and love you. Plus you two are young, you’ve got plenty of more time to make more of those babies. You have grown yourself a real sweet family by the looks of it. Relax for a few hours! Enjoy the time off, maybe even add to your family.” The woman said, laughing, as she closed the door.

“Did she really just suggest we go make more babies?” Honey asked in disbelief.

“I think she did, yeah.” Oscar answered, just as confused as she was. 

The air felt light as they both walked to their car, relishing in how nice it was that they weren’t arguing, realizing how miserable they had been.

But that didn’t last long. 

“Come on, Oscar, you can’t be that dense! She was so clearly eye fucking you!” Honey argued. The conversation in the car had been light for a few minutes until Honey made a comment about the younger teacher and unintentionally started an argument.

“She was not! And if she was, who cares? We aren’t together anymore, you can’t get jealous over something as trivial as someone who thinks I am attractive. Sometime in the future I will get a partner so you better learn to stop being jealous.” Oscar yelled. He didn’t mean it of course, he knew even if he and Honey never got back together, he would remain single. She was the only one for him.

But what he had said, wording it in a way that made Honey fully think about their situation really tore her apart. Yes, they were separated, but she never felt like they were fully broken up. And from what he said, it sounded like he planned on moving on much faster than she ever would.

With tears rolling down her cheeks, she decided to not dignify his comments with a response. Once exiting the car, she swiftly went to the guest room she had been staying in since the separation and slammed the door.

After a few minutes in the car, Oscar had mustered up the courage to apologize, knowing what he did was uncouth. Hearing her cries as he walked up to her door made him stop just short of knocking, deciding maybe it was better to give her a bit of time for now and come up with a way to make it up later.

After two hours of contemplation, Oscar had decided to get a lunch reservation at her favorite restaurant that always had a live band playing. It was impossible to get a day of reservations but with a bit of bribing, he had managed to pull it off. What was also nice about the band was that they could sit and eat silently without any awkward silence. If they were going to fight, they didn’t need to speak. 

She wasn’t crying when he knocked on her door, having managed to seemingly get all her emotions out in the two hours by herself, then clean up to look presentable for pick up. But now she felt empty, like a shell of a person in a house with a man who once loved her to pieces but now seemed to despise her, and no kids because they were away at camp. 

“Come in.” Was all she said.

“I um, I got us a reservation to your favorite place. I understand if you aren’t up for going- or if you’d like to go alone, but I did kind of bribe them so one of us at least has to go, I fear.” Oscar muttered out fast, clearly sensing the awkward energy between them, not knowing whether they were going to ignore the fight or not.

But Honey’s heart burst at the idea of him trying so hard to get into her favorite place. She always urged him to use his name to get into places, like Lando loved to do, but he was always too humble to do it, so it meant even more that he had this time. 

“That… sounds wonderful. Thank you, Oscar.” Was all she said as she started to tear up again but quickly turned so he wouldn’t see. “Let me get my stuff and I can meet you in the car.”

The energy in the car wasn’t light like it was before, but it also wasn’t heavy. A comfortable silence stayed between the two until it got too much for Honey and she burst out into tears, seemingly unprompted. 

“Darling, what's wrong? Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Oscar asked, openly concerned for her well being for the first time in what felt like years.

“I c-can’t take it, Oscar! We used to have so much love for each other, god, you used to look at me like I hung the stars in the sky, now you can’t seem to look at me for more than a second without realizing how much you hate me now. Then after saying you are going to move on to someone else- you do this really sweet thing and I am- I am so confused and hurt and don’t know what to think or do!” Honey rambled, everything truly coming to the surface. Everything she thought, everything she felt, everything she had tried too hard to push down and pretend wasn’t there.

“Honey, I have never hated you for even a second,” was all Oscar was able to reply as he registered everything she had just said.

“What?”

“I don’t think I am capable of it. Truly. I have tried so hard to be the best I could be for you after the fight. I stopped racing, I planned more activities with the kids, but I couldn’t do anything right. I let rumors continue about you making me stop racing, which I wanted to stop but was told to leave alone. I took the kids to do activities and left you out too much. When you continued giving me the cold shoulder, I gave up when I should have kept fighting. I then tried to love you less, to make it hurt less, but I couldn’t, even if I acted like a dickhead to you. I am so sorry, Honey, and I would never in a million years be with someone else, even if you had an entire other family and were happily married. You are it for me, always have been, always will be.”

With all finally being said, the two went to lunch happier than they had been in weeks, ready to work on their relationship. It was surely not going to be easy, but how they had been these past two months had broken them enough that they were certainly willing to try. 

Near the end of the meal though, things once again got tense. These two couldn’t catch a break it seemed.

Zak Brown, CEO of McLaren, called Oscsar out of the blue and as the phone rang, Honey’s heart sank, awaiting Oscar’s reaction.

“Shit, I should get thi-” 

“It's okay. I promise.” Honey said, already feeling doubt beginning to creep in.

She couldn’t hear much of the conversation as Oscar quickly walked out the door to talk to Zak. He was also turned away from her so any chances of learning information by reading his facial expressions went out the window.

Finally, he returned to Honey biting her nails waiting for what he would say to her. She already started to panic thinking he could have to go to work, race again, and this vicious cycle would never end, that nothing would ever be right between them.

“What did he want?” She asked.

“Asked when I would be ready to come back to race. I said I didn’t have a date in mind. He told me to come in next week for a meeting on it, but I said I wouldn’t make a decision without talking to my family. I am not going to lose you all over this.” He reassured her. 

Honey smiled, doubt leaving as quickly as it had come. Until she herself got a phone call, this time from the camp her kids were at. Stressing that they had missed pick up, she realized after checking the clock that they still had an hour and a half. Confused once more, she answered the call.

Being told on your kids' first day away from you that there was an issue you needed to go deal with immediately, that you needed to fill out both incident and accident report forms wasn’t something that the young parents had envisioned for themselves. 

Rushing to the classroom, Oscar and Honey saw both of their kids crying in the hallway with the older teacher when they arrived, accompanied by another mother and her upset son. Concern laced their features as they took in both their kids, looking for any hints of injury on the two, but they seemed fine, apart from the crying.

“God, don’t tell me these two kids are the parents, no wonder this happened.” The other mother muttered under her breath. Before Oscar could question her, the older teacher spoke up.

“It seems there was a problem between the kids today.” She began, clearly trying to mediate the situation before it got ugly between the parents. “Mattias here stole a toy Hudson was playing with and pushed him over when he tried to get it back. In turn, Fraces bit the Mattias. It didn’t even leave a mark so I know it wasn’t hard, and both kids got a talking to as well as exchanged apologies, but it seems that they might need to go home early for the day to recuperate. We will certainly work on sharing and using our words tomorrow.”

Both Honey and Oscar were shocked. While Hudson was quiet and they had been worried it would make him a target in the future, and they knew their daughter was fiercely protective of her twin, they didn’t think she would result to biting.

“Wow, alright. You two, let's discuss this in the car, yeah?” Oscar said, ready to leave the place as he felt the wrath of the other parent glaring at him. “Really? You are just going to walk away without so much as an apology to me and my son? Unbelievable.” The mother scoffed. “This is why young people shouldn’t be parents. Clearly you two need to grow up just as much. I pray your already terrible daughter grows out of this and doesn't end up like you, spreading her legs too young and becoming up a teen mom because of it.”

Both Honey and Oscar were stunned. They had faced backlash before, sure, but never to their face, and never from someone so clearly in the wrong.

“Excuse me?” Honey asked.

“Oh, you heard me.” The mother replied.

“No, I don’t think I did, because what it sounded like was you were asking for an apology for something your kid started, because I am sure as hell my kids do not have sharing problems. Then when my three year old daughter retaliates to seeing her sweet and vulnerable brother being so blatantly bullied, even though she apologized, you believe you and your snot nosed brat deserve anything else. Guess what, we don’t owe you shit. And while you are so worried about how our kids will end up, why don’t you worry about your own child, who clearly takes after his bully of a mother. Grow up, asshole.” Honey retaliated. She shouldn’t have sworn in front of the kids but damn was it wonderful to see the look on that lady’s face. 

Oscar had never been more turned on by Honey in his life.

After the fight, the family of four got out of there as soon as they could, stopping for ice cream on the way home. They hardly scolded Frances more than a “If someone does something mean, you can’t bite them, use your words” to which she replied “Like Momma did with that lady?” 

The kids were playing quietly in their room once Oscar got alone time with Honey. 

“That was the sexiest thing I have ever seen.” He said, arms circling her waist.

“When I went full bitch mode on that lady?” She asked, laughing at the desire so evident in his eyes.

“When you stood up for your family, and cursed that dickhead out.” He replied as he started kissing her neck.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it, I liked it too but in a different way than you did.” She laughed.

Laying on the bed, cuddling as they basked in the love they still had for each other. Oscar managed to ask the question that had been plaguing him for weeks.

“Honey, will you please move back in here and be with me again? I miss you too much.” Oscar pleaded.

“Fine, but you need to work on another proposal. It is only fair since this all kind of started because of you.”

“Deal, this time I will knock your socks off with my proposal, but first I intend on showing you just how much I missed you.” He said as he began to kiss her deeper and more passionately.

Life was starting to get much better. 

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Birthday wishes [S. R.]

Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Word count: 6.4k

Summary: everyone seems to forget Spencer's 30th birthday, but he only cares that you remember it.

second part here!

contents: childhood best friends, idiots who-don't-know-they're-in-love, surprise parties, pure fluff honestly

If you like my work leave a comment or reblog, that would make me very happy!

The first thing Spencer did when he got home was get rid of his converse and even though it had been a relatively calm day he was exhausted, so he went straight to the bedroom to throw himself on the bed. He lay back for a while, just enjoying the calm, and then he fumbled for the cell phone in his briefcase. He hit the call button on the contact he'd wanted to talk to all day and then he waited patiently.

“L/N family residence, who do you want me to contact you with?”

"Hello, is Miss Y/N by any chance?"

"Who's looking for her?" you continued and a smile escaped from his lips. It was usual for you to respond in a silly way when he called you, so he was used to it by now.

"Her best friend, Dr. Spencer Reid"

“Spencer Reid? Spencer Reid, I don't think that sounds familiar…” you teased, hearing him snort from the other end of the line “Ah! Wait, I remember you."

“After knowing each other for like 20 years, I hope so” he laughed, and then you too.

Sure enough, the man and you were friends from a very early age. You were his neighbor when he lived in Las Vegas and your parents had always been quite nice to the family, knowing the delicate situation they faced, so it wasn’t difficult for you to become friends. You were the first friend he ever had, a real one, so there was a special fondness between you, even when he had gone off to college at such a young age and distance had subsequently separated the two of you.

You always called each other and every time he visited his mother it was a law that you also received a visit, even if the time was only enough for you to greet each other with a hug. You also traveled to DC a few times because of your work and you even had your own key to his apartment, so if he was busy with a case, you could stay there instead of paying for a hotel. Your relationship was like that of a brother and sister, although as this familiarity grew, it was slightly intervened by loving feelings that you didn’t want to face yet but were definitely there.

You knew a lot about his life from those long-distance calls that happened at least once a week, and right now he was excited about something in particular. He was exactly one week away from his thirty-year birthday, and he hoped that, like every year, you would fly from Las Vegas to see him. It was a tradition, whether it was thunder or lightning, you two hadn't missed a single birthday from the other since he had to move out of state. So Spencer was hoping that this call was for you guys to plan what you were going to do; regularly your birthdays were in restaurants or nice places and his were at home, with food delivery and classic movies, or when you felt very adventurous you could go to a museum or just walk through the streets.

"How are you, Reid? How is everything?"

"Not so good, but not so bad either" he laughed "And you?"

"Everything has been terrible, it's like a curse is on my head, I swear" you complained. Spencer got up from his comfortable position to sit on the bed and although he knew that most of the time you said things like that you were just exaggerating, this time he had a bad feeling.

"Why?”

You started to tell him about the financial problems you were going through and he, with his mind still focused on your visit, thought about offering to pay for your flight to DC, but his spirits fell completely when you told him that you were being put under too much pressure at work.

“We're going to have a meeting next Friday with HR to discuss responsibilities and so on, but honestly I don't think things will get better. Right now I'm working from home because there are pending issues that have to be resolved as soon as possible and I barely have time to think during the day, you seriously can't imagine how busy I've been.”

When you finished the story, he remained silent, feeling his chest squeezed by the direction that things were now taking. With that scenario, your visit was too complicated and he was debating internally about whether he should tell you something about it or not. As he had thought before, the money to have you with him wasn’t a problem, but dealing with the issue of your shortened times was totally different. He didn't want to make you feel guilty for not being able to go, let alone disrupt activities that he knew were important to you, like that meeting you just mentioned. So what should he do? He wanted you to be there, but he wasn't going to make you.

“Crash? You still there?" you asked. Only you and his mother called him that, since his nickname had arisen when he was just a child due to his clumsiness, a trait that, in your opinion, he still retained. It wasn't offensive coming from you, even he was glad to know that this was something that belonged to the two women he loved the most.

"Yes, I'm here. I just was thinking"

"You always do, I don't think there's a single second when that mind of yours rests," you said amused "Anyway, what's new?"

Spencer hoped that you would at least apologize to him for your future absence or ask him what he intended to do today. But you seemed not even aware of it.

“Nothing, really. Today we're done with a case and if I'm lucky I'll be able to rest this weekend” he murmured. Sometimes he would tell you things about the cases, omitting bloody and dangerous details, so he leaned back and started recounting all the events into the speaker of his phone.

You two continued to talk for almost an hour, but the topic of the birthday didn't come up once and Spencer didn't try to bring it up. After all, there were still a few days to go and in the worst case, you could at least call him that day to congratulate him, right?

But as the days went by, the anxiety ate him more and he even called you a few days after that, but he only received a response from your mailbox and after a few minutes a short text message where you explained that you were a little busy with work, but that you would call him as soon as you could. The fact that during those days he found out that the entire team already had something to do on Friday didn’t help his mood too much.

Hotch and JJ discussed a sleepover for Henry and Jack after work, he overheard Garcia and Morgan agreeing to visit a new bar for the night, Rossi said he was going to visit one of his ex-wives and when he thought he could still invite Emily to hang out, she went over to talk to him about the therapist appointment that she clearly didn't want to go to, but had to. There was no remedy, everyone had plans for his birthday and he didn’t want to interfere with them. Resignation was the only thing the doctor had left during the remaining days, and when he least expected it, the entire week had already passed.

He used to wake up to your off-key version of the birthday song and a cupcake with a candle stuck in it, then you'd make breakfast and you'd eat it together; so not having any of that when he got out of bed, he felt his heart break a little. This year he thought he would get your call first thing in the morning, but when he checked his phone he didn't even find a message announcing that there was a case. He didn't want to go to the office to do paperwork on his birthday, but the thought of at least getting a hug from his coworkers cheered him up slightly.

He put on his favorite shirt, a new pair of pants, and the converse that you had given him and he only wore on special occasions, before leaving the apartment. For some reason Spencer enjoyed taking the subway, perhaps more than anyone he knew, and this time he stopped at a coffee shop that was just before arriving to buy something to drink, since he didn't feel like eating anything.

He undertook the entire trip lost in his thoughts and when he least expected it, he was already at the headquarters. He checked his phone, again, but he still didn't get any notifications or missed calls. Many times you had insisted that he get a more modern model and he had refused, but now he was wondering if the advances in technology would have allowed him to communicate with you through a video call. It would be embarrassing to ask Garcia for a favor, so he concluded that he would just wait, after all if he hadn't communicated it must have been for something important.

Upon entering, he greeted everyone with a huge smile and he felt somewhat disconcerted when the others greeted him normally, without hugs or cake on the table. He sat down at his desk to start going through the documents he already had and the others continued on their own business. It was common for Emily or Morgan to come up to him for a chat, but on this particular day it was as if they were avoiding him. Even Penelope, who he swore would congratulate him, seemed to have completely forgotten when he came to her place with the excuse of needing a piece of information from the previous case. When Hotch called him to his office, the man's eyes lit up, believing that his boss had remembered the celebration of the date.

"Can you do me a favor?" he had asked, without taking his eyes off whatever he was writing "Donovan needs to sort some files and honestly he has no idea how to do it and I'm too busy to explain, could you do it?"

Donovan was in charge of the physical file inside the building and it was not usual for him to request this kind of support, but Reid still said yes, and the rest of the day passed with him locked in a cellar full of filing cabinets. He had made sure to take his phone with him and every time he turned it on to check it and he realized that there was no sign of you his disappointment increased. He came to wonder if his mind hadn't been playing tricks on him and, for some incredible reason, he had gotten the day wrong and it wasn't really October 12; but when he saw the calendar, he verified that this wasn’t possible.

“Are you out of punishment yet?” Emily taunted, when after many hours she saw him again by the bullpen. At another time Spencer would have laughed, but right now his mood wasn't quite right for it and he just looked at her, more hostile than he intended. “Hotch left you some documents on your desk, he asked if you could review them before you go. It's urgent,” she informed him.

It was obvious that this would take time and he felt like crying at the thought of having to stay longer than the regular time. It was almost an hour after everyone else had gone home that he finished, feeling somewhat annoyed to find out that even Aaron had already left.

He doubted whether to go home or go to dinner somewhere, because he knew that if he returned to the apartment he would sink into sadness. His birthdays didn't mean anything special on their own, what he liked was to feel loved, to enjoy the company, but above all to see you.

While he was leaving the building, and as if you were reading his mind, a call vibrated on his cell phone. Seeing that it was you, Spencer didn't take more than two seconds to answer, thinking that maybe after the whole day he could improve.

"You won't believe what happened to me!" you said, without even greeting him. It wasn't the kind of sentence he was expecting, but he still decided to listen.

"What happened?"

“There is a boy, at my work, his name is Brandon. Well, Brandon and I have talked a few times now and he seems like a nice person, plus he's pretty handsome and he finally asked me out on a date with him, can you believe it?" you murmured excitedly, and a lump formed in Spencer's throat "We're going out today, the meeting was canceled and we decided to take advantage of the time, but I can't decide whether to wear the red dress or the black and gold outfit that my mom gave me and I need the help of an expert. You have seen both, which one do you think suits me better?

Spencer was quiet for a moment, processing the situation she was going through, and it wasn't until you said his name that he reacted.

"I like your red dress," he murmured, with a sad smile that you clearly couldn't see. He couldn't believe you were going out with a man you'd never mentioned and it affected him more than he expected you to be asking for advice because a pang of jealousy shot through his chest.

You were telling him that you were going to have a date on his birthday.

“I thought the same! I guess that will be the best option."

"I guess…"

"Where are you now? At home?" you kindly asked. Your tone almost made him angry.

“I just got off work. I'm on my way to take the subway"

"Oh, excellent. Today there were no cases?"

"Not fortunately. I'm glad to know that the criminals at least respected my birthday."

With that said, there was a deathly silence between you, to the point where he wondered if you were still on the other end of the line or if you understood what he was implying.

“Spencer, my God, I…”

"It's okay if you forgot," he said, trying to play the matter down, but the tears that were beginning to accumulate in his eyes indicated otherwise. The guilty tone with which you had spoken was more than enough to know that, probably, if he hadn’t mentioned it, you wouldn’t have done it either "Nobody remembered it"

"I'm so sorry" you practically sobbed "Between all the work and stuff I... I don't even know why I forgot, forgive me”

"It’s okay" he replied. But it wasn't okay. 

“Can I do something to fix it? Whatever, you just… ask me what you want and I'll do it. I swear," you mumbled, sounding desperate.

He tried to convince you that there was no problem with it and you continued to pour out apologies, which Spencer knew were worthless now but he wasn't selfish enough to ignore them. He wanted to scream, cry, or do anything to get that weight off his chest and even though he loved the sound of your voice right now it was the last thing he needed.

“Anyway, I'm about to enter the subway and uh, I have almost no signal there. I'll call you later, okay?" the question didn’t wait for an answer, because he immediately added: "Good luck on your date, bye"

If he had considered going out to celebrate, he knew that now what he urgently needed was to go home or he would break down in tears in the middle of the street. The ride on the subway lasted longer than he would have liked, as he longed to go to sleep and find out if it would allow him to forget a bit about the shitty day he had just had. When he was finally in front of the door with the number 23 in gold letters, he struggled enormously to put the key into the lock, because the tears in his eyes were already clouding his vision, and he believed that the heaviness on his shoulders wouldn’t allow him to advance.

The key turned one turn, then another, and then Spencer was allowed inside the house.

One week before…

The team was meeting in the conference room at the request of Penelope, who had asked everyone to stay after the scheduled time, waiting to receive the news of what they thought would surely be a new case.

"And Reid?" Morgan asked, noticing the empty chair next to him, because they had seen him leave and that was reason enough to have questions about his absence.

"I'm glad you asked because this meeting is related to him," Garcia replied. With the push of a button, a face appeared on the main screen and almost everyone present was surprised to see who it was "She is Y/N Y/L/N, do you remember her?"

"You were at Prentiss's funeral, right?"

"That's right" you replied with a smile, looking directly at the aforementioned "I still have a little trouble understanding, uh... that whole thing, to be honest" you joked.

"Y/N asked us for this space to discuss something related to Spencer's birthday, which will be next Friday" explained Hotch, who was the other member who was already aware of the matter "The microphone is all yours"

"Okay, so where do I start? It's great to see all of you and I hope you're doing well. Every year I visit Spencer on his birthday and we spend the day together, but since this year is his 30th birthday I wanted to do something special and I want to know if you would be willing to help me”

"Tell us your plan, precious"

“I don't intend to take up a lot of your time, it's simple. I will call him today to insinuate that this year I can’t go and all I want you to do is pretend that day that you don’t remember that it’s his birthday”

"Wait, why do you want us to ignore it?" JJ muttered with a frown.

"I want to throw him a surprise party in his apartment" you explained with a smile and then the request you were making to them didn't sound so farfetched "You can tell him you have plans that day and if he mentions something you just say you can't go. I bought my flight for that day and I will be in the city starting in the morning, so I can prepare everything”

"And how will we do if he invites us somewhere?"

Morgan suggested using a decoy for him and pretending they were taking him somewhere else, but you balked at the idea.

“I have all my hopes that he doesn’t mention anything. If so, we'll manage somehow. And I know that asking for that is difficult because we are all his friends, but if necessary, avoid him completely that day. We need him to know under no circumstances that we have a surprise for him."

“He is very smart and he will figure it out. If we make him believe that we forgot he will concentrate on that” you argued. Although the others didn't want to admit it, they knew that you had a point there "I just hope you don't have some unforeseen case or something like that, because I would hate for that lie to be for nothing"

You discussed some more until you concluded that your plan was the most viable. The girls would help you with ideas for decorations and David even offered to buy all the drinks. Although the others weren’t surprised by his generosity, you were slightly upset, but this didn’t prevent you from accepting the offer and thanking him in advance.

“It really means a lot to me that you guys help me, thanks” you murmured happily, once everything was settled, and then your phone started ringing in the background “It's Spencer! I have to answer him. If something happens, you guys will tell me, right?"

"Take it for granted" smiled Garcia, who was the one who had lived with you the most, but everyone supported her from the bottom.

"Fine, thanks everyone, thanks Agent Hotch, I'll see you later!" you said goodbye, hanging up the video call and simultaneously answering the phone.

Everyone got up from the conference room and Rossi was the first to speak, a smile on his face.

"Call me crazy..." he started to say "but something tells me that girl and Spencer are going to end up together"

"The pretty boy loves her, but he still doesn't notice it," Morgan laughed, as they all walked out. "Whenever we go to Vegas, his eyes shine when he sees her."

“And she's setting this up for him! It's so sweet" Penelope sighed, who had already taken Derek's arm "But the part about being mean to Spencer doesn't convince me much… he's going to be so sad"

"Look at it this way, babygirl: if he's sad he'll be happier than usual with the surprise."

"Nobody's going to screw it up," Emily threatened them, pointing her index finger at them, and the rest of the team promised they wouldn't.

Meanwhile, your first part of the plan was in the works, with the late-night call he had made to you. You had to admit that lying to your best friend was something you hated, but with any luck it would all be worth it when you could hug him and give him that gift that you had carefully kept on one of the shelves, that you hoped could be enough for such an important event like the first thirty years of life.

What happened during the week is history, which was consolidated at the moment he turned the handle without even imagining what awaited him.

When Spencer walked through the door the first thing he did was turn on the light and he felt like he was going to have a heart attack when he heard the screams coming from inside. There were purple balloons scattered all over the floor, a congratulations banner, a table full of presents, and everyone was there.

The shock was such that he couldn't even manage to say a word and some of the tears that he had been holding back were finally able to come out, but this time for different reasons.

They hadn’t forgotten.

"How…? What are you doing here?"

“We came to celebrate your birthday, genius,” Morgan laughed, as he reached over to hug his friend and ruffled his hair brotherly.

A wave of hugs preceded that and even he received a couple of kisses on each cheek from Rossi, which finally made him laugh. He seemed like a child, completely fascinated with everything around him and still processing the situation.

In the midst of it all, he couldn't help wondering how his friends had been able to enter the apartment, since none of them had a copy of the key and the landlady was too suspicious to have let them in just like that, but he felt happy for the direction the day had taken.

“First of all, we have another surprise for you,” said JJ, obviously excited. The rest shared complicit glances and García began to record with his cell phone, which made him a little nervous "But you have to close your eyes."

Spencer looked at everyone else as if waiting for a confirmation of that, and seeing a couple of nods he did what his friend was asking. Just to make sure Jennifer covered his eyelids with her hands and in this way she turned him around, while he wondered what this surprise could be about.

"Are you ready?" she asked and the man answered yes with a hum. There was silence for a second, as if they were checking something, and then she withdrew her hand. "Open them."

Many possibilities went through the man's mind for whatever he would see at that moment, but when he did, he felt his heart stop for a moment. There you were, looking at him with a sweet smile and wearing that red dress. 

The rest of those present were waiting for who would make the first move, because the two of you had froze looking at each other, and García was only pointing the camera carefully as you had requested.

"Surprise?" you said shyly, noticing that Spencer hadn't said anything.

You were afraid that after the call you had he was upset with you in some way, but a second after he recovered from the shock he was already on top of you, holding you by the waist to spin you through the air while you laughed heartily.

"You came," he said, his voice cracking, but completely brimming with happiness.

"Of course I would, Spencer, do you think I'd miss your birthday?"

"But you... your work"

"All a vile lie"

"And that boy?"

“There was never such a thing,” you laughed, freeing yourself from the weight of guilt “You're my only boy,” you added affectionately, palms planted squarely on your friend's cheeks. He still had you in his arms and was grinning from ear to ear at your answers "I'm so sorry I told you all that, I just didn't want you to suspect anything, can you forgive me?"

"No!" he practically squealed and you widened your eyes in amazement “Today was the most terrible day because I thought you didn't care about me anymore, you made me suffer! All of you!" your friend complained, looking away from you briefly to look at those present.

"In our defense, she asked us to," Emily laughed, holding up both hands in surrender.

"You're so mean," he murmured, turning his attention back to you. "But I love you so much.”

A group sigh filled the room as he engulfed you in a hug and from your position you could see the teasing or tender smiles they all had. It wasn't very common to see the youngest of the team in that position, much less saying those things, plus we had to add the collective opinion that you were madly in love.

"Seriously, forgive me"

"It’s okay…" he whispered close to your ear "You're here, that's what matters"

His body felt so soft and safe that you didn't want to stop hugging him, but you knew that if you took too long it would create an uncomfortable environment for the rest, so you had no choice but to gently pull him away from you. The woman asked your friend, just to annoy him, if he liked his surprise and although he didn't say anything, the giant smile and flushed cheeks were enough of an answer.

"Come, you won't escape my melodious voice" you murmured after a few seconds, when the commotion calmed down a bit.

Taking him by the hand, you led him to the table where you had the chocolate cake with a couple of candles that formed the number 30. Everyone sang the song while the wick burned down and the boy looked anywhere, with that certain shyness characteristic of him. When he blew out the candle to make his wish, you all applauded and that started the celebration.

There were some appetizers on the table and Rossi had stocked all the drinks quite well, as he had promised. As the minutes passed you hovered here and there to check that things were in order, arranging everything as if it were your own apartment, and Spencer could only smile at how well you seemed to get along with everyone. The last time you'd seen the team was, sure enough, during Emily's funeral, but that didn't mean there wasn't some history between you.

He still remembered the feeling of shame when in the early years he had asked Gideon for permission to summon someone to the hotel during a case in Las Vegas. It wasn't that he was ashamed of you, but that he was ashamed of having to reveal something so important in his life to his FBI colleagues. The agent didn't object at all, but that didn't spare the man from being grilled by Derek and Elle about which mysterious lady their younger coworker was talking to. Over the years, people left the unit, and others joined, but the constant was always you. Even now, if a replacement happened, Spencer knew that the rest of the team would take it upon themselves to introduce you to said person. 

At some point he felt a tremendous nostalgia for that time and in a chain of thoughts he came to ask himself if working where he did was the right thing to do. Turning thirty was cause for celebration, but for him it was also tantamount to thinking how well he had lived up to the expectations of what he expected to have achieved at this age: How much progress should he have made in the world by now? Was it any use having that brilliant mind that everyone raved about if he was working in a government office? And what about his personal life? He wanted to get married at some point and wondered if he should be looking for love instead of criminals. Even while he was through all this, he wished he could focus on how happy his friends had made him instead of worrying about other things. 

"Up to here I can see the gears of your brain" laughed someone next to him. It was Emily "What's wrong?"

"Nothing" he murmured, shaking his head softly "I was thinking about some things, it's just that"

"You should drink some more, that wine that Dave brought tastes delicious" she smiled, inviting him to come closer to the others to chat.

It was a bit ironic, but completely understandable, that even at his own birthday party he would remain a bit oblivious to the situation. Following Emily's advice, he poured himself another drink and joined the other attendees to enjoy the moment. For hours you laughed and chatted, until the drinks were running out and your drunkenness rising.

The parents of the group were the first to leave and the last was a drunk Penelope who threatened to stay there to sleep, but Derek took it upon himself to guide her to his car to take her home. It was late at night when only you and Spencer were left, amidst all the decorations in the room.

"Peace and tranquility"

"It was too much?" you laughed, knowing that your friend could become overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle.

"No, no. Just kidding"

“And was it okay for you? You had fun?" you asked, referring to the party, as the two of you sat down on the leather couch. The dress you were wearing rose to the top of your thighs and his attention strayed there for a second, so he looked up guiltily; He didn't help the blush on his cheeks that there was your cleavage. 

"Everything was wonderful"

"Are you seriously not mad at me?" you insisted

"No, honey, I'm not," he laughed. You tried to ignore the fact that he had said that to you, since it wasn't something he was used to, and just smiled sheepishly, "I mean, at first I was a little, but now that I understand why you did it, I'm not anymore."

“You are already thirty… you are so old!”

"You are older than me!" he squealed, completely offended, and you responded with a laugh. Although that was true, you looked more jovial than the man, something that a variety of people had taken it upon themselves to verify.

"Now that I remember, do you want to see your gift?"

"Isn't this supposed to be my gift?" The confusion was evident in his voice and you refrained from answering, as you bolted into the room. You came back from there with a box in your hands, which you later placed on your lap with evident emotion.

“I wrapped it myself” you confessed, rather proud of yourself. You had found a piece of paper to cover with drawings of equations and small microscopes that you thought captured the essence of your friend and, of course, now that he had seen it, he had liked it a lot.

The man's fingers drummed the surface under your expectant gaze, and then he winced slightly.

"What's up?"

"I don't know, I think maybe I should open it later…"

"Spencer Reid!" you yelled. It was obvious that he was only joking with you and you knew that by the laugh that escaped his lips. 

Your friend opened the box almost ceremonially and then removed the tissue paper that covered the contents: above all there were two hardcover books, one about the world of fungi and the other about poetry, next to it an hourglass, then three boxes with jigsaw puzzles, a pocket chess game, packets of Reid's favorite sweets, and last but not least, a picture of the two of you in a pretty chocolate-colored frame and a little paper envelope to go with it. One by one he was taking out the gifts and his smile only grew with each object, while he felt his heart grow with love.

"I remember this day" he murmured, referring to the photograph you had chosen. The sky was blue behind you and you were kissing Spencer's cheek, who was smiling at how spontaneous it had been “We were in a park after going to an art exhibition."

“And we bought the most delicious ice cream in the world”

"I differ, I've had better," he murmured, shrugging. The truth is that you thought that the ice cream had been delicious because of the whole panorama of that day, not so much because of the taste itself.

Spencer knew that photo would have to go on his desk in the bullpen, although the taunts he was sure the others would throw at him. Perhaps having you there would serve as a reminder that there was good in the world, despite everything he could see on the job every day. 

“Oh, and I read somewhere that hourglasses help people with anxiety because it's relaxing to watch the sand fall so they can focus on it. I thought you might like it, I bought it at an antique store."

"It's very nice" he agreed, turning the object over and checking that it actually worked "I'll open the note, okay?"

Spencer always preferred that you read his letters in private because if he saw your face and knew you were reading those words he would just cringe, but you didn't seem to share that trait so you agreed to his request. As with the box, he carefully opened the envelope and then pulled out a handwritten note.

I hope you like these little gifts that try to express a huge love.

Never doubt that you are making a change in the world and that you are surrounded by people who love you, including your old neighbor who now ironically lives too far from you. 

Happy 30th birthday to my favorite person in the entire world. I am confident that many more years will come for both of us.

Always yours, Y/N.

"Don't cry, Reid" you asked gently, feeling your own tears at the edge of your eyes. Spencer smiled and leaned in your direction to wrap you in a hug so hopefully you wouldn't notice if he got emotional.

"Thank you" was the only thing he managed to say. 

He wanted to thank you not only for that day but for years of friendship, years of feeling like he wasn't so alone in the world if he had you by his side and even thank you for treating him like a normal kid when no one else did. And as always, you perfectly understood what he was referring to.

You stayed like that for a few minutes; Spencer tucked into the crook of your neck and cooing at the throbbing on your pulse line, and you basking in the warmth of the contact.

“Did you like the puzzles?” 

"Yeah! They are great” he replied, as he moved away from you so that he could observe you “Do you want us to put one together?”

“Sure” you smiled “Just let me put on my pajamas and I'll be right back, okay?”

"Good. You look very beautiful in that dress, by the way. I don't know if I forgot to tell you” he flattered you, making you smile sincerely. 

"You chose it, remember?"

Before getting up you kindly squeezed his cheek and after changing your clothes you returned to where you were. He had chosen the puzzle with the design of a Monet painting and spread it out on the floor, where the two of you settled comfortably.

Your friend took a bunch of pieces and you took another and you guys worked in silence until little by little things started to come together. He was very good at the task and very soon he already had a considerable part assembled; although you were going a little slower you followed a constant rhythm. 

"Hey, Spencer"

"Yeah?" he asked, too intent on finding a place for the piece in his fingers to watch you.

“What was your birthday wish? When blowing out the candles”

"Oh, I didn't wish for anything"

"Why?" you asked confused.

Spencer looked up from the puzzle and smiled at you.

"Because my birthday wish was already right here"

It seemed obvious to him, but it took you a second to understand exactly what he meant and when you finally did, your eyes gave him the sweetest look of all.

You and your friend stayed up all night until the play was over and after that you both stumbled to bed, where you fell fast asleep in each other's arms.

At some point Spencer half-opened his eyes, prisoner of a bad dream, and when he was aware of the situation he felt the peace he needed. After that it didn't take him long to get back to sleep, with a smile on his face and his whole world held in his arms.

taglist: @navs-bhat @reidwritings @tricia-shifting14 @spencerslove

[gffa]

Did you know I’ve probably cried like a dozen times from BATFAMILY fic over the last two weeks? I’m not a big cryer, so that’s saying something for me, by which I mean, I realize I have some incredibly intense feelings about fictional characters, but also fandom is phenomenal about hitting those feelings dead on in exactly the way they mean to do. And it’s great, hell yeah make me cry buckets in emotional catharsis!! And then balance it out with comfort or humor because my soul needs soothing, too! I have been reading so many comics lately (so many good comics, what is this, I’m not used to having comics I actually think are good) and I love the canon so very much, but part of the draw towards this fandom has always been the enthusiastic fic response, the willingness to explore things the comics themselves don’t always have time for, whether aftermath of events or psychological effects that aren’t necessarily intended but are fascinating to consider or just straight up downtime that’s not about a case because fic doesn’t need to make people punch things in every issue. The two go hand in hand for me and getting fun comics to read and fun fic to read has been really meaningful to me in a time when I’ve really needed that in my life. I hope that I can return the favor even a little by shoving a bunch of fics at you and only making you scroll a little to get through my Dick Grayson Problem. BATFAM FIC RECS - BABY DICK IS THE CUTEST FERAL ROBIN I’M NOT HEARING ANY ARGUMENTS: ✦ May Our Memories Light The Way by sElkieNight60, dick & bruce, time travel, 1.9k      Bruce travels into the past and serves up an apology long over-due. ✦ Late Spring by halyordan, dick & bruce & alfred, 3.5k      Dick gets in his first ‘fight’ at school. Luckily, Bruce was an angry boy once. He knows how to deal with it. ✦ the color violet by TheResurrectionist, dick & bruce & cast, 2.6k      The address – 1007 Mountain Drive – told Alex two things: one, their patient was either going to be someone unreasonably wealthy or an unlucky service worker, and two, getting to the actual patient was going to be a bitch. ✦ as i was walkin’ by oh_fudgecakes, dick & bruce & alfred, 3.6k      Bored and chased out of the kitchen by an irate Alfred, a young Dick Grayson falls through a loose floorboard while exploring the attic and ends up in an locked storeroom housing an interesting set of journals. ✦ help me fill this hole in my soul by renecdote, dick & bruce & cast, 5.9k      Dick nearly drowns on patrol one night. He’s fine, except that he really isn’t. Alfred and Bruce take care of him when he gets sick and let him know that even though his parents are gone he isn’t alone. ✦ medio by newsical, dick & bruce & alfred, 2.1k      Loss, again. This loss was by his hand, by his own tongue, with words so sharply edged that they tore apart his mouth and left his lips bloody. The manor was silent, and he was alone. And Alfred’s half birthday was in three days. ✦ My Little Bird (is a Troublemaker) by sElkieNight60, dick & bruce & clark & cast, 10.9k      No, not good enough, thought Bruce as he gripped the boy’s shoulders in his hands. Dick still didn’t move and the man had to resist the violent urge to shake the answer out of him. This wasn’t his little bird. This wasn’t his Robin, he would never do something like this. Dick gets caught drunk, Bruce loses it. ✦ things kept hidden by emavee, dick & bruce & cast, 9.7k      “Better hope the Batman doesn’t catch wind of you. Batman hates metas. He’ll make you disappear. That’s what he does.” “But I’d never hurt anyone,” Dick stammers. He doesn’t know very much about Batman, but he’s a hero, right? He fought crime, like Superman, and Superman was a hero. Right? ✦ (Not) Enough by daringyounggrayson, dick & bruce & alfred, 2.3k      After the training simulation goes wrong, Bruce takes his kid home. ✦ i can’t promise (it’s not written in the stars) by konan_konan, dick & bruce & alfred & cast, 7.3k      Batman is following him, surely, but he’s smaller and faster and he’s not going to let someone take him and lock him up again. Wayne Manor, he’s learned, is just another kind of prison. It may be big and fancy but it is also empty and cold and he’s not going back. Tony Zucco dies tonight, he tells himself. It is the only thing that matters. ✦ what’s needed most by dizarys, dick & bruce & alfred, 1k      Dick wants to fly. Bruce would like that to not involve giving him a heart attack for once. ✦ two sheep counted, but not enough to sleep by batofgoodintent (crownedcrusader), dick & bruce, 1.8k      Dick hasn’t been sleeping. It’s a problem Bruce should have addressed by now. BATFAM FIC RECS - ADULT BATSON AND BATDAD ARE MY KRYPTONITE, I FOLD LIKE WET CARDBOARD FOR THEM: ✦ (At the Very Least), I Can by sElkieNight60, bruce & dick & jason & tim & damian, 3k      “… something is wrong.” That was Bruce’s voice, he would know it anywhere. OR, Dick Grayson + Full Body Paralysis ✦ Catch by sElkieNight60, bruce & dick, 2k      Raptor has Bruce in dire straits. Nightwing catches Bruce as he falls. Then it turns out Bruce never fell at all, he jumped. “Dick. I didn’t fall. I jumped. I jumped because I knew you’d catch me.” Childhood trauma never truly goes away, it seems. OR, the emotional aftermath of “Better than Batman.” ✦ Call Me if You Need Me by LiterallyThePresident, bruce & dick & alfred, 1.1k      “Master Bruce is rather distraught, you see.” and now Alfred sounded pained, “The dose he received was not enough to render him immobile, but it is causing some paranoia and unpleasant hallucinations. He… Well, he appears to be rather convinced that something has happened to you.” BATFAM FIC RECS - EVERYBODY LOVES DICK: ✦ Sons and Fathers by FabulaRasa, dick & bruce & jefferson & dick/babs, 4.9k     Dick has three conversations that needed to be had, at the end of season three. This is blatantly a “there I fixed it” fic. ✦ The Best Medicine by JpegDotJpeg, dick & bruce & jason & tim & damian & alfred & cass, 2.2k      “I’m dying.” “You are not dying.” “This is it. It’s the end for me. I bet I have some exotic viral disease with no known cure and now I’m going to waste away into nothingness.” “I highly doubt that, Master Richard.” ✦ Look to the Stars by Zephyrra, dick & bruce & jason & hal & alfred & cast, lantern!dick, 8.3k      After Batman fires Robin for the last time, Dick becomes a Flying Grayson in an entirely new way: by becoming a Green Lantern. But no matter what kind of mask he dons, Dick Grayson has a way of (accidentally) changing history irrevocably. This is only the beginning. ✦ the courage of stars by theragingstorm, dick & clark/lois & jon & cast, 1.8k      When he really needs somebody, Dick goes to Metropolis. ✦ a great honour (to hold you up) by dizarys, dick & bruce & jason & tim & damian & cass & steph & duke, 2.6k      “For the last time, I’m not getting sick!” Jason and Tim exchanged skeptical looks behind Dick’s back. “You’re pale, shivering, and wince every time your bare skin touches the cold metal desk.” Jason ticked off on grease smeared fingers, “Sounds sick to me.” “Wonderful observations, Holmes.” Dick muttered, still looking through the microscope. “What does Watson have to add?” “That first of all, I’m Sherlock.” said Tim, “And my associate is correct. You should go get some rest.” ✦ i am tired of all these motherfuckin’ bombs on these motherfuckin’ spaceships by konan_konan, dick & bruce & damian & titans & background dick/kory & justice league, 4.5k      “Those generators won’t last long,” barks Batman. “We’re losing our window. What other plan do you propose, Nightwing?” He huffs. “I’m gonna blow up the ship.” or: when the justice league gets stranded in space, the teen titans come to the rescue. it doesn’t exactly go to plan. BATFAM FIC RECS - JASON TODD IS AN ASSHOLE CAT, I’M GONNA THROW HIM AT HIS SIBLINGS BECAUSE IT’S FUNNY: ✦ abyssal plain by glassofwater, dick & jason, 3.5k      “What did you do?” “Exactly what he said. I killed him.” ✦ Bang, bang by Ididloveyou_once, tim & jason & cast, 5.5k      ‘You shot me!’ Jason gasped, stunned, ‘Holy shit, you actually shot me.’ Tim’s eyes widened and he froze. They stared at each other for a second, dumbstruck and then- ‘Don’t tell Bruce.’ ✦ Break the Ice by dizarys, dick & jason, 1.5k      He felt the blades pierce his body. It was at the height of his leap, back arched as he sprang backwards over the car. A bolt of searing hot pain shot through his side then thigh. But Nightwing still landed with grace and flung his escrima sticks straight into two gang members’ heads. BATFAM FIC RECS - DICK AND DAMIAN WERE THE BEST BATMAN & ROBIN, I’M NOT HEARING ARGUMENTS ABOUT THAT EITHER: ✦ Not Quite Saudade by Wisptheraccoon, dick & damian & bruce & jason & tim & alfred & jon, 3.1k      Aka. The reason Dick is no longer allowed to leave on long missions without Damian. ✦ Scorpion-grass by Ididloveyou_once, dick & damian & bruce & tim, 2.9k      Damian gets hit with fear toxin and is forced to relive Dick losing his memories… Dick could’ve gone without knowing how the kid reacted to his amnesia. ✦ what’s waited till tomorrow starts tonight by theragingstorm, dick & damian & john/mary & cast, time travel, 63.4k wip      After an argument with his Batman, Dick Grayson, Damian finds himself in Dick’s past, with one of his greatest tragedies fast approaching and no easy route forward for either. As long as he risks being stuck seventeen years in the past, all he can do is live at the circus, with a family he never knew — and just maybe learn from it all. BATFAM FIC RECS - BATKIDS ALL HAVE MANY SIBLINGS AND THEY’RE ALL PETTY ASSHOLES AND/OR WONDERFUL BABIES AND I LOVE THEM WITH MY WHOLE BEING: ✦ When Wisdom Must Go by AnicomicQueen, bruce & dick & tim, 5.1k      Bruce experiences taking his children to get their wisdom teeth removed. Chapter 1: Dick (Age: 17) Chapter 2: Tim (Age: 16) ✦ So you’ll know where I’ve been by victoria_p (musesfool), jason & steph, 2.1k      “I just noticed your scars.” “We all have—Oh.” Jason drops his gaze again, runs his fingers along the faded incision on the left side of his chest. “No one else has one of these.” ✦ and when you’re in the trenches by dizarys, jason & tim & dick, 4.3k      When Jason stumbles across a shocking discovery, he’s forced to decide how much he truly cares about the people he used to call family. ✦ The Kids Are All Right by Browniesarethebest, bruce & dick & jason & tim & damian & cass & steph & alfred, 11.4k      Dick and Tim are de-aged. It goes about as well as anyone would expect. ✦ World’s Saddest Breakfast Club by motleyfam, dick & jason & tim & damian & bruce & cass & steph & duke & cast, 7k      Following a couple of Very Bad Weeks™ (which may or may not have involved being kidnapped and mildly tortured), Jason decides the best way to cheer himself up is to break into the Manor for a 3 a.m. snack. Turns out he isn’t the only one awake. BATFAM FIC RECS - I CUT MY TEETH ON DICK & TIM AS CLOSE BROTHERS AND NOT EVEN CANON WILL NOT TAKE IT FROM ME: ✦ Not So Large but Definitely In Charge by dottie_dc (dottie_wan_kenobi), dick & tim & bruce & alfred, 6.7k      Alternate universes suck so much. Tim has always known that, but he’s never really grasped it, not until he and Dick were forcibly thrown into one a week ago. ✦ there’ll always be a few things, maybe several things by incogneat_oh, dick & tim, ~1k      Tim breaks the silence, half-glancing over his shoulder to murmur, “Pop-culture has taught me that you’re supposed to seek out your parent in the middle of the night. Not your sibling.” “Pop-culture isn’t a perfect teacher, Timmy.” ✦ will we ever get to the other side? by dizarys, dick & tim, 4.8k      Blockbuster is dead and Dick is lost. Haunted by that night and no longer Nightwing, he flees Gotham only to find himself back in Bludhaven on mob business. Now Robin is the city’s new protector and Dick is determined to avoid Tim & his old life. That is, until he finds Tim bleeding in an alley. ✦ World Gone MAD by Havendance, dick & tim & justice league, 5.5k      Ask the GCPD about the Joker’s death, and they’ll tell you he died of natural causes. Ask the Justice League, and they’ll tell you that it’s a matter that’s been resolved internally. Ask Batman and he won’t give you an answer, because he’s Batman. The truth of the matter, however, is this: Dick Grayson beat the Joker to death. ✦ Wake Me Up Before You Go Go by incogneat_oh, dick & tim, ~1k      He’s already halfway up the stairs, towards the window on the second floor landing, when Dick says, “Tim.” He turns back, says wide-eyed and guilty, “Mhm? Can I– I’ll get you a blanket? If you want?” – Or, Tim visits Dick in Bludhaven. ✦ unleash the beast (with a kiss on the cheek) by InkpotSprite, dick & tim & bruce & jason & stephanie, 1.3k      Dick’s chest tightened as his lips parted to say something that he’d truly regret. Before a soft pair of lips pressed against his cheek, then disappeared so quickly that Dick was almost sure he’d imagined it. If it weren’t for Bruce’s fractionally wide eyes, Dick would think he had. Slowly, he turned his head to the side. Tim smiled back at him. BATFAM FIC RECS - I WILL DIE ON THE HILL THAT TIM DRAKE’S TRUE LOVE INTEREST IS CONNER KENT AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME, NOT EVEN GOD: ✦ cat tactic of healing by CarrionCarnival, tim/kon, 2.1k      Kon finds a moderately sick Tim, and decides that it’s his problem to solve. feline style ✦ In the Corner Taking up Space by Louis_the_Snake, tim/kon & cast, NSFW, 5.1k      Tim gets roped into doing a simple modeling gig for Wayne Fashion with some of his siblings and realizes that everyone he knows is way hotter than he is. And the hottest thing about him is his ass. Which ends up plastered in every major city in the U.S. ✦ Thief by rotasha, tim/kon, NSFW, 1.8k      Kon walks in on Tim wearing his leather jacket. ✦ only touched you once by distracted_dragon, tim/kon, NSFW, 1.8k      Kon decides to tease Tim a little with his TTK. ✦ Missing Words by Violet_Witch, tim/kon & cassie, 6.9k      It takes Tim years to realize what’s always been there. ✦ What’s Real and What Isn’t by JpegDotJpeg, tim/kon & bart, 2.3k      Kon’s eyes almost glow in the dark, a luminescent blue so vivid Tim almost can’t stand looking at them, though he has a harder time trying to look away from them. “I thought you were having a nightmare or something. Your heart was beating so hard it woke me up.” Tim feels himself a flush. He can’t even sleep without bothering someone else. “Oh,” He replies, voice small. “Sorry. I’m fine, you can go back to sleep.” “You’re shaking,” Kon points out and Tim curses internally. ✦ you taught me the courage of stars before you left by popsunner, tim & kon & bruce & damian & lois & jon & cassie & cast, 6k      “He loved you, you know,” She says wistfully, meeting his eyes. Tim looks away. “I loved him too.” “Love.” “What?” “Love,” she repeats. “Not loved. He might be gone, but we don’t love him any less.“ BATFAM FIC RECS - TAKE THE ANGST DIAL, TURN IT UP TO ELEVEN, AND BREAK THE KNOB OFF, THAT’S WHAT I’M HERE FOR: ✦ Arguments with the Recently Deceased by JackHawksmoor, dick & bruce & clark & tim & cast, 7.9k      Dick just got back from a lousy, week-long adventure traveling in time. When his ride drops him off at the cave the morning after he left, Dick isn’t expecting to find Bruce in the middle of a complete meltdown. Dick realizes there’s been a mistake- Dick hasn’t been gone six hours, he’s been gone six months, and everyone thinks he’s dead. ✦ Solar Flares by glassofwater, dick & bruce & jason & tim & damian & alfred & cast, 46.1k wip      Personhood, noun: the quality or condition of being an individual person. Son, noun: a man regarded as the product of a particular person, influence, or environment. Dick Grayson, noun: oldest son of Bruce Wayne, first son of Batman (i.e., a sum of parts, not a whole) ✦ Starlings in Winter by FromStarstuff, dick & bruce & clark & alfred & cast, 14.3k wip      When Dick was eleven years old he ran away from Gotham. No one could quite figure out why. Take your pick; there was a fight at school, a circus in town, and a song he can’t remember the melody of. Eleven-year-old Dick Grayson was flooded with grief, swimming in it, perpetually drowning. One day it was too much. ✦ Going Nuclear by wrsttballplayer, dick & bruce & jason & tim & damian & barbara & cass & steph & alfred, time travel, 15.3k wip      Dick looked at his younger self; the way his brow twisted up in so much anger and his was chest heaving with pure vitriol. Dick remembered what fury like that felt like. He remembered the way it burnt in his throat. He used to spew that poison at Bruce all the time, hell even the Titans had gotten the bad end of his temper more than once. And yet, Dick couldn’t place the last time he had been mad like that. Nowadays, all his anger died into withering flames of resignation and compromise more often than not. ✦ Why Is Tim the Only One With Any Tact? by CamsthiSky, dick & tim & wally, 4.1k      In which Tim tries to mediate an argument between Dick and Wally. Things don’t go so well. ✦ You Won’t Wake Up Alone by DawnsEternalLight, dick & bruce & jason & tim & damian, 5.2k      Dick’s captured and drugged and probably about to die. The last thing he wants to do is die in front of his family, especially not his baby brothers, all he wants is to be with Bruce and feel safe again. ✦ Hold Me Dear and Close to Your Heart by sElkieNight60, dick & bruce & cast, 3.8k      Dick Grayson leaves his whole life behind when Bruce Wayne kicks him out. ✦ the flute of your whole existence by LovesFrogs, bruce & dick & jason & tim & damian & alfred, 4.2k     He could voice his greatest fears, weaknesses, or most secret dreams at the drop of a hat; all the things he’s never put into words before and keeps tucked close between his ribs. What kind of ammunition is his son going to ask for? What will he make Bruce admit, knowing he is incapable of a lie? ✦ The Kids Are(n’t?) Alright by avengemyheart, dick & bruce & tim & alfred & cast, rape aftermath, 3k      Dick saves a young rape victim from his babysitter and in the process reveals his own trauma. The problem? Dick is Batman at the time, and kids are blabber mouths. ✦ Cursed Silence by TheSilencer, dick & bruce & jason & tim & steph & cast, 3.4k      Dick Grayson is given a gift - to seal away his emotions. No one has a good time. ✦ Peeking Through the Tunnel Beyond by sElkieNight60, dick & bruce & cast, read the tags, 2.4k      Or, Dick Grayson just can’t seem to free himself from his past. And this time, Bruce is there. ✦ soft clocks by dustorange, dick & bruce & damian & jason & tim & alfred & tiger & cast, 35.2k      Dick has amnesia during his time at Spyral. The family grapples with finding out he’s alive. Dick grapples with finding out he has a family. ✦ Never Say That by JackHawksmoor, bruce & dick & jason & damian & cast, 9.6k      "Calm down, I’m not aiming for anything vital,” Jason said irritably. Batman turned away from the man he’d just floored. “We agreed-” he began sharply. “I didn’t promise anything,” Jason snapped. He lifted his gun, muttering under his breath. “You ought to be grateful, it could be worse-” Or: the Bats have an extremely bad night in Gotham City BATFAM FIC RECS - SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED TO TAKE ALL THE SERIOUSNESS OUT OF THE ROOM AND STAY SILLY FOR AWHILE: ✦ there but for the grace of god by TheResurrectionist, hal & dinah & ollie & flash & j'onn & bat-kids & young justice & justice league, 3.7k      A Justice League fic where everyone argues about who’s the most beautiful and intimidating sexy from the Big Three and everyone has valid points. ✦ The One With The Bat’s Son by Maximum_Quinn, bruce & dick & wally & hal & billy, 3.4k      “Batman has seven kids.” Wally blinked. “You’re shitting me.” “Not even a little, I just overheard him and Supes talking.” “Oh my god,” he breathed, staring at Hal incredulously. “You don’t think -?” Hal nodded, slowly and seriously. “Batman could be Captain Marvel’s dad.”

[souliebird]

[[and then I met you || ch 22]]

Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit

Summary:

A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s and Matt realizes he needs to not only protect his new family from Hell's Kitchen, but from the world.

chapter masterlist

Words: 4.3k

ao3 link

It takes you a little over an hour to get Minnie to go down for bed. Tomorrow is her birthday party and to say she is excited is an understatement. She was practically jumping off the walls and it took three different books, a bottle, and two lullabies to finally get her to drift off. You are thankful when she doesn’t sit up again and call for you after five minutes, because you have a lot to do. 

You need to clean up the apartment and decorate, you need to prepare pancake batter for a princess style breakfast, you need to finish wrapping presents, and you need to set up the couch for Matt. He will be coming by after his Patrol so he can stay the night and Minnie can wake up to the surprise of him being there, which is the perfect way to start her celebratory weekend.

But before any of that, you need to go take a shower so you can have a proper breakdown. 

When you were younger, you believed crying was a sign of weakness. Your parents had treated it as such, always dismissive if you cried. The reason had never mattered - shedding tears was pointless and for children, so you had learned to bottle everything up and push it all down until the act of crying physically hurt you. Only very recently did you accept that crying is healthy. 

You still hate doing it, though, and the only way you have found to balance your shame and your need for that emotional release is to treat it like another task you need to accomplish. 

You triple check your daughter is truly asleep before you close the door to the bathroom and start the water. You keep yourself composed as you strip and only once you are under the spray do you let the tears start to fall. 

So much has happened in such a short time and your anxiety has been through the roof. 

The first bill for your hospital stay arrived today and you have been too scared to open it. You are terrified to go back into medical debt - giving birth in the United States had drained a lot of your savings and you have built it back up. You know there are all sorts of hidden fees, and you are going to need to do so much work contacting the various billing offices to try to get prices down. 

It isn’t even like you are fully recovered from being in the hospital in the first place. You only just finished your antibiotics last week and your ear still randomly throbs or rings. 

But honestly, you don’t know if that is from being sick or almost having your head bashed in. 

You thought you would be okay after the attack. You thought Minnie would be the one with problems - having nightmares and jumping at shadows - but after the first day of making sure you were okay, she’s been fine. You haven’t been. 

You’ve been plagued with nightmares about hands around your neck. You’ve been jumping at shadows when you leave the apartment. 

You keep constantly checking your locks and you debate ordering pepper spray. 

You don’t know what to do.

You aren’t okay. 

You don’t feel safe. 

The only time you have felt secure is when Matt was there to hold you and remembering such only signals your brain to send a new wave of tears. 

He confuses you in a way no one else ever has. 

You have never met anyone who cares so much before. It is overwhelming how much he loves Hell’s Kitchen - enough so to become a vigilante to protect it - and it is overwhelming how much he loves Minnie. You thought only you could love her that much.

Seeing them together does things to your heart you don’t understand. You just want to watch them play and bond until the end of time. They smile and laugh, and it is the only time you ever feel Whole. You feel like everything is perfect when the three of you are together. 

You don’t know what to make of that. You don’t trust yourself with it - you’ve never felt like that before and you are scared that if you think too hard about it, you’ll find a flaw and the feeling will be ruined. 

You just want Matt to hold you while the two of you watch Minnie play and that isn’t an okay fantasy for you to have. You don’t have that type of relationship with him. 

He is a naturally touchy person with a huge heart. You’ve seen him hug Karen and Foggy before and you know he has only ever wrapped his arms around you to comfort you. 

And he wants to comfort you because you are the mother of his child. He wouldn’t be around if it weren’t for Minnie and that is something you need to remind yourself of. 

Matt loves Minnie. Family is extremely important to him, and he has told you time and time again that he strives to be the best dad possible for her - so of course that means he needs to take care of you and make sure you have a positive relationship.

If you and Matt butt heads, that wouldn’t be what was best for Minnie.

You need to do what is best for Minnie.

Which means you need to stop crying and get to work. 

You wipe at your tears until they start to slow, then wash your face while still under the spray. It takes a minute or two for you to fully calm down, but once you do, it is like the tap is turned off. Crying time is over, so you stop your shower and quickly dry off so you can get dressed.

You feel better, but in a kind of dull way. It is like all the pressures in your life have been turned down to something more manageable and you know you will be able to focus on your tasks without slipping into a panic attack. 

The apartment is not nearly as dirty as you believed it to be. You have to straighten some things up and you take the time to wipe down all the flat surfaces, but after that, you start putting things up. There’s a pink and yellow Happy Birthday banner and you blow up a few inflatables you found shaped like flowers and stick them to the walls. You twirl streamers together to decorate the back of the couch and the dining chairs, and your favorite piece is the pink sparkle fringe to hang over the hallway entrance. It isn’t the most elaborate of set ups, but you know Minnie will love it and that is all that matters to you. 

Once your living space is Birthday themed, you turn to the kitchen. You went shopping today to make sure you had everything needed for a spectacular breakfast. You found a recipe for extra fluffy pancakes, and it seems easy enough - it calls for letting the batter rest overnight and you particularly like that as it is one less thing to do in the morning while trying to handle a rowdy toddler. 

It doesn’t take long to get everything prepped and before you know it, it has been close to two hours since you put Minnie down to sleep and you feel it is finally safe to bring her presents out of their hidey holes to be wrapped. 

She has grown a bit since you last bought her clothes, so you got her a nice little haul, including a new princess dress for her to wear to the zoo. It has sparkles and tulle and the dress comes with a matching crown you just know she won’t want to take off. You are extremely proud of the find. 

You didn’t just get her clothes, though. Minnie has been more and more interested in helping you cook, so you got her a little kitchen play set. It comes with pots and pans, knives, utensils, bowls, plates, and some fake food. You thought it would be fun to have her practice her skills - she’s a pro at helping you stir and mix, and she knows how to use a butter knife to cut up fruit. You hope she enjoys pretending to wash her dishes, so you lure you into helping into that part of cooking, but you don’t think anyone finds that chore fun. 

Before you can start wrapping, you need to go through everything and remove all the tags and stickers. It is a boring activity that takes far too long, so you decide you are going to multitask while doing so. You grab your laptop and notebook and settle down among your pile of bags.

Since your talk with Matt about Daredevil, you have been in research mode. The first few nights, you read every article you could find about the Devil. You started with the reputable sources - purely focusing on news reports - and once you had a timeline of events down, you switched to opinion pieces. You quickly ended up sorting those into three categories - positive outlooks, negative outlooks, and outlooks written by Karen Page. 

You took notes on everything - making pro and con lists on each major event and circling back to jot down questions you had. You felt insane - and frankly a little invasive - but it was how you processed things. You wanted it all laid out nicely in front of you so you could come to your own conclusions. 

But to get to that final conclusion, you still have a lot of internet sleuthing to do, so you open up a new internet tab.

One of the most important things you want to know about Daredevil is how real people feel about him. Published articles are always biased - it is in their nature to be based purely on who produces them - but social media lets the mass in on the conversation. You learned that well after the Attack on New York. 

You remember the majority of the news singing praise for the Avengers and how they saved the Earth - which you truly did appreciate - but no one came and spoke to the people whose lives had been ruined. Sure, they talked about how much destruction had happened and how much it would cost to rebuild, but no one had mentioned how Hell’s Kitchen and Chelsea had been almost flattened. No one cared about the low-cost homes that had been destroyed or the poor people crushed in debris - not when they could talk about the Big Bank buildings the Hulk had run through. Why talk about those genuinely affected when you could bring in a mouthpiece who was halfway across the world?

Iron Man didn’t give two shits about the people whose lives he saved. If he did, he’d help them in the aftermath, and he didn’t. None of the Heroes did - they started going around the world while an uncaring government was left to clean up the mess. Repairs went to the lowest bidder and many things were deemed too expensive and just left to crumble.

But only internet forums and ten second social media videos talked about that.

Matt talks so passionately about helping people in Hell’s Kitchen, so you need to know if it is real, or just all a puff piece. 

You look first into the forums and to your surprise, there is a whole section for New York vigilantes. You resist the urge to dive into the threads about Spider-Man and the Hero of Harlem and you have to scroll to the bottom of the front page to find something about Daredevil. 

It is CCTV footage of Daredevil chasing off what looks to be some teenagers trying to rob a pawn shop and there are a few dozen comments under it. You smile as you start to read them - the majority of it is praise for Matt, with the few negative comments being about the quality of footage.

And each thread you find about Daredevil is like that. You expected to see issues with excessive force like you saw in the opinion pieces, but there is nothing. People who you can tell are locals all comment about how he doesn’t hurt kids, and his punishments reflect the severity of the crime. Muggers get a few good swats while those who commit domestic violence are given as good as they gave. It is gang members and real dangers who end up in the hospital. There are about a handful of posts giving firsthand accounts of how the Devil helped them - ranging from them being in serious danger to Matt helping a drunk woman safely get a cab.

From what you can see, the people who post in this forum like the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen and genuinely feel safer with him around. The site is a little niche, though, so you switch to a more popular platform to see if you can find different opinions and different opinions you find.

Just not the ones you expected.

There is a new picture of the Devil that has gained traction in his tag that is rather good quality - Matt is squatting on a roof, seemingly observing a street, and is framed in such a way to show off his lower half. His thighs, which you know are all muscle, are highlighted wonderfully and the angle of the photo only emphasizes his backside. His upper back and shoulders are all in shadow, but you can tell just how broad they are. 

Twitter absolutely loves the image, and you think you have to agree with them. You can feel your cheeks heating up and you can’t seem to tear your eyes away from the screen.

Matt is beyond physically attractive, and it is no wonder the internet is lusting after him. There is a litany of lewd comments from multiple people and one made by a user with a cartoon frog as their profile picture has your core twitching and you quickly hide your face in your hands. 

“imagine him bending you over a rooftop and fucking you until all you can do is drool ♥”

You don’t want to think dirty thoughts about Matt. It makes you feel awkward and guilty but mostly they make you Want, and you desperately want to bat that away.

You very obviously have slept with him before and know what a good lover he is. You know what his skin feels like against yours and your mouth goes dry at the memory of how loudly he moaned while between your legs. His stamina is no joke, and you can only imagine it has improved since he’s started being a vigilante. 

You have no doubt he could easily fuck someone stupid.

You tell yourself you can’t think like this - you are supposed to be researching Daredevil to figure out how you feel about Matt being a vigilante - not ogling pictures of his ass and remembering your night together. 

You gently smack your cheeks a few times and tell yourself to focus. 

That only serves to make you more flush, so you make the executive decision that you have had enough screen time for the night and slam shut your laptop.

You have removed all the tags from the clothes, and you only have a few UPC stickers to pull off fake food, so you hurry through those so you can get to actually wrapping presents and not thinking about what you saw.

It is easy for you to get quickly lost in this new activity. Your perfectionist nature has you needing to make sure every crease is even and crisp and that each present looks picturesque, and you can't do that while distracted. Your thoughts shift from the way Matt’s breath felt against your skin to how many gifts Minnie has and how each one needs to look unique.

You know Minnie is going to tear through them like a wildfire, but it is important to you to make sure love is poured into everything. 

You never got that as a child. Your birthdays were practical affairs and more often than not your present was to go clothes shopping, so you didn’t get to unwrap things or have that grand surprise. You don’t want that for Minnie. You want her to feel like an absolute princess on her special day and if that means rewrapping the same present four times to make it perfect, then that is what you will do. 

You are finalizing bow placements on the gift bags you had to use for odd shaped items when your phone vibrates with an alert. 

For a split second you are confused - it is rather late, and you’ve muted most app notifications - but then you remember Matt is meant to be coming over. 

You don’t know how it could have slipped your mind and embarrassment burns through you. 

How are you going to face him after staring at a picture of his ass until your brain broke?

You hesitate to check your phone, but when you do, you obviously have a text from him saying he is on his way. You groan to yourself, wondering how you can save yourself from this awkward situation? 

Maybe you can go to bed early. You aren’t at all tired - you usually are up for another few hours - but you have a long weekend ahead of you. You will need rest.

In your bed.

Where Matt will not be. 

Because, for the first time in a while, he will be sleeping on the couch. 

Which you still need to prepare.

You finish fussing with Minnie’s bounty of presents and set about arranging them up the Happy Birthday banner like it is a Christmas tree. You have to resist your urge to nitpick and instead turn your focus to cleaning up your mess. You hurriedly shove the pile of trash you made into a bag so you can toss it and your wrapping supplies are tucked into the back of the closet, where they will live until you need them again. 

You do a quick once over to make sure everything is neat and birthday ready before you fetch your spare pillow and blanket. 

You try to not feel guilty as you start making up the couch. You know it isn’t the most comfortable and Matt will probably be sore after doing God knows what all night, but you can’t offer him your bed again. There is no reason for him to be in your bed. As frantic as you are, you don’t need any comforting. 

You just need to stop thinking. 

But not in that way. 

“Stop,” you hiss at yourself. “Stop being a slut. Pure thoughts. Have pure thoughts.”

Scolding yourself does not work as well as you mean it to and all you can do is pour your concentration into folding and refolding the blanket. You roll it up tight first like it is a sleeping bag, then you think that is stupid, so you fold it into a triangle. You realize that is trying way too hard, so into a square it goes. 

The knock at the door startles you and to your credit, you don’t scream. 

You do, however, bury your face into your hands again and take a deep breath. You are panicking over nothing. Everything is just fine. You are overthinking.

You mentally chant that mantra as you go to the door. You hesitate to open it, needing the extra moment to center yourself, and you are surprised you don’t automatically close it again at the sight of Matt. 

His normal daytime attire is a suit, and he wears them like a model, but you much prefer him dressed down as he is now. He’s in a t-shirt and joggers, with a five o’clock shadow and fluffed up hair, and he looks devastatingly handsome. He looks friendly and soft, but everything is just tight enough to show off how toned he is. 

Your body reacts exactly like it did to the picture, but this time you can’t hide. 

So, you run instead.

“Come on in,” you practically squeak out before hurrying to get out of his way. He’s got a gym bag with him - probably to carry his clothes for tomorrow - and your entryway isn’t the largest. It makes sense for you to go back to the living room. 

“Busy night?” He asks as he closes and locks the door, and you are completely thrown by the question. You must make a confused noise, because he follows up with, “You are out of breath, is everything okay?”

Your heart starts to beat hard in your chest and you can feel your entire body getting hot. Of course, he can tell what is going on with your body and you are nearly in full panic mode. 

You need to get to bed and away from him.

You fail at keeping your composure by gesturing around the living room, “Yeah - um - just been busy. Decorating and stuff - it’s a big day tomorrow.” 

“It is,” Matt agrees, a charming and boyish smile creeping onto his lips. You tell yourself he must be excited for Minnie’s birthday and that is why he is in such a nice mood.

“How was..how was your night?” 

He hums at the question, moving to set his bag down by the couch, “It was relatively quiet. With school starting up again and the heat, the younger crowd isn’t out. I made a few laps but didn’t find anything worth going after.” 

“So, there isn’t like…crime every night?” You ask, trying to wrap your head around it all. You haven’t actually asked what a Patrol consists of, so you don’t know what the average one is like.

“Despite what everyone thinks, no. There’s a good number of nights where I just keep things tidy, but being out helps to deter people as well. Not every night is drug busts and gang wars.”

“That is good to know.” And it is - it helps to ease your anxiety that he is out there constantly boxing people. People say New York is crime ridden, but it is not nearly as bad as it is made out to be. It is all scare tactics and sensational news - like the Satanic Panic.

Matt hums again, then tilts his head back towards where you hung the birthday banner, “That is a lot of presents.”

His smile is still bright, and you have to duck your head and bite your lip to keep your mind in check. Your mouth, as always, is quick to quip, “I’m not telling you what is in them. It’s a surprise.”

“A surprise, huh?” He teases, before kneeling down by his bag and unzipping it. You can see colorful wrapping paper peeking through, and you instantly wonder what sort of gift is inside.

“A surprise,” you repeat. “It isn’t any fun if everyone knows what is inside before it is opened.”

“I’ll concede to that, even if it is tempting to peek.” As he says this he stands up, holding three different sized packages in his hands. They aren’t as pristinely wrapped as yours, but you can tell great care went into it and you wonder if Matt did it himself. 

“Foggy said they will come over around noon,” he says like you aren’t on the verge of a crisis. “And Maggie was hoping we could stop by on the way to the park. I told her it would be up to you, but I know she has a few things for Minnie. We’re probably going to need to bring that wagon you got.”

The idea of so many people coming to your apartment for a party - especially a toddler’s birthday party - boggles your mind but your heart soars that so many people want to celebrate your daughter. You watch as he goes to add the gift pile and that confusing feeling swirls in your chest again, reminding you this is everything you ever wanted for Minnie. Matt being in your life means more people to love your daughter like she deserves.

“Okay,” you say because that is all your mind can produce. When Matt begins to stand again, you go into a panic thinking he might say something to start a conversation and blurt out, “I should get ready for bed.”

He turns to you, and you don’t know what to expect, but it is not for him to look bemused. He raises his eyebrows over his glasses and lets out a huff of a laugh, “It’s a big day tomorrow. You should get your rest.” He isn’t condescending or rude about it, but you can definitely hear the hint of teasing.

Your face burns as you nod and stupidly repeat, “It’s a big day.” You clear your throat to try and regain some composure and point towards the couch, “I, uh, left you out pillows and a blanket. The..uh..remote for the fan is on the coffee table. I readded the labels after Minnie tore them off.”

“Thank you,” he says with full sincerity, and you cannot take any more of his charm and muscular biceps. 

“I’m going to go to bed now,” you tell him as you start to back up towards the bedroom. You know you should tell him about the fringe covering the hallway, but you just want to flee and hide under your covers until your brain stops all of its nonsense.

“Okay.”

As you finally let yourself turn away from Matt, he says your name just loud enough for you to barely hear it. You freeze in place, but it is like your blood is boiling inside you. You breathe out his name in response.

“Good night.”

((“I love you.”))

--

a/n: orz please take this offering of a chapter - my brain is not working up to standard.

Also - Tomorrow is a Big Day

--

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[ieatfanficforbrunch]

People Pleaser Steve

Steve is a people pleaser. Years of living with his parents and their demeaning stares and harsh words have destroyed his sense of self preservation.

"Keep Eye Contact, Steven," his mother would say. "Stop Complaining, You need to make our guest Comfortable." His father would say. Until the age of ten all Steve got was criticism. Constant reminders on how to behave perfectly and how to appease his parents.

The morning they decided he was old enough to stay home himself, coincidentally on his 10th birthday, they packed up and started renting an apartment in Chicago to better monitor their Business. They sent him money for food, got him a bike so he could go to school, they even sent a few extra 20s every other month so he could get new clothes as he grew.

Of course, Steve never complained. This was how he kept the peace, how he avoided the cold glare from his parents.

The pattern continued into adulthood, Steve practically raised himself for the last 8 years of his childhood, he only saw his parents when they needed him.

When he (accidently) became the mother of the nerdiest bunch of kids in Hawkins, he made himself a promise, No matter what he'd be there. Every recital, every birthday party, every holiday, and every time they needed a ride; he was there.

When Christmas came around after everything had happened, after Max had recovered and Eddie's wounds had healed perfectly, he decided he would make it the best Christmas they'd ever seen. Just to make them happy.

He decorated the entire house, made enough food to feed his small football team of a group, he got so many presents for everyone that he had to skip out on food three days a week for two months just because he wanted it to be perfect.

The kids came over on Christmas Eve night to spend the night together, slept in sleeping bags he bought special for them. Eddie came to help wrangle the crazies until Robin got back from visiting her grandparents in Ohio.

They ate like they were starving or like it was their last meal. All except Steve, who was too afraid to overstep or take away from someone else to even try one of the many kinds of food he made.

The games died down and the food was gone by midnight. The kids slept peacefully in their sleeping bags. Steve let out a small sigh, a smile on his face as he stood and took empty platters and plates to the kitchen.

He washed the dishes in silence, a baggy crew neck sweater replacing his usual polos. He knew if he wore them the others would notice he had lost weight and he didn't want to inconvenience them. It was rude to burden others with your problems. He honestly thought he had gotten away with it until a familiar Metal head guided him to the kitchen table.

"Ok Big boy, This isn't working for me," He said in a soft voice.

Steve immediately looked up, "I'm sorry, it won't happen again," he whispered, not even sure what he did.

Eddie sighs and says, "Steve, You think you're hiding it so well but you aren't. You take care of everyone and everything all of the time. Let me take care of you."

Steve couldn't move, couldn't respond, How Was he supposed to behave? He didn't know so he merely nodded.

Eddie smiled and immediately made Steve a bowl of cereal, something small and quiet. When he was positive Steve would eat it, he finished the dishes for him.

Steve looked so beat down and tired, the bags under his eyes told so much and Eddie knew that from now on he would do Everything to keep them away.

He took the empty bowl and washed it before walking over to Steve. "I know it's a bit early but...I got you something," he whispers, pulling out a small box from his back pocket.

It was a light blue box with a thin red ribbon and white trim. Steve's thin fingers removed the lid to find a locket in the shape of a guitar pick.

Inside there were two pictures, one with the kids, and one with Steve and Eddie. It was the picture from when Eddie was discharged, the day Steve agreed to get treatment for his wounds. Eddie's arm is around Steve's shoulders, it's the only picture in the world with Steve's Real smile. His eyes swelled with tears. It's the only gift he's gotten since he was 10, since his parents left to run their company, since Everything.

"Shit I didn't mean to make you cry again! I just-" Eddie is cut off with the tightest hug he's ever gotten.

"It's Perfect," Steve whispers.

He's met with calloused hands on the back of his head, gently massaging his scalp.

"Merry Christmas, Harrington."

"Merry Christmas, Munson."

[hamlets-ak]

apricity ༊*·˚

m.list ◦ askbox

synopsis: it’s been two years since you and timothée broke up but with a kid in the middle nostalgia is all over the air

It had been two years and life kept going without him.

With time, you came to accept your new reality and the fact that you weren’t going to be the same as you once were.

But there were some days when nostalgia covered your heart like dark clouds stretching in the bright blue sky. Days, you remembered tangled hands, flushed cheeks, silent stares and warm smiles. Days you prayed to last forever.

You missed everything. 

Whenever you were together, you were glowing. Everyone seemed to notice how brighter you looked, your hair, your eyes, your smiles. There were only sunny days for you, summer and spring anywhere you looked as if the other was giving you life. 

You were in love. You could feel it and so did everyone around you. No one had ever seen you like that, so carefree, so light, so happy, so warm, so close to someone.

You used to be inseparable; four arms, four legs, no faces for the world to see because you were always too busy looking at the other, blind for your surroundings.

But the day that everything ended, you had never felt him more far away.

Your heart broke and with it promises, dreams and hopes for a future that never came.

You remembered your voice barely coming out, with eyes red, all welled up and swollen, trying to explain to him that you loved him but you couldn’t go on like this. Timothée had to be away for days, weeks, months, and then he returned for a few months before he had to leave again. It wasn’t good for Marc to live in the eye of this craziness. Your kid needed his father and you needed him as well.

Your love had slowly turned into a one-sided contract. You had to give in order to receive. And you did. You changed your city to be with him, changed your job, left your parents behind and a whole life you had been building for years, only to spend more time apart than together. 

You remembered him standing there, right in front of you, with cheeks red, once swelling with happiness, suddenly swelling with tears, shaky hands and chattering teeth, trying to understand you and promising that this would change.

But you were irrevocable and very very tired.

The years passed by and Marc turned four. He vaguely remembered the two of you together apart from birthdays you’d plan together, photographs in old albums and stories his grandparents and other members of the family would tell him.

He never really had a problem with you living separately, until some kids pointed that out and he was curious to know why you weren’t living in the same house, why he couldn’t have both of you, why, when you used to be so happy, so in love. What changed ?

You talked with Timothée about this and decided not to tell him anything. He was too young to understand. Maybe when he got older, you could have this conversation.

But Marc was stubborn - that he had taken from you, and wouldn’t stop asking questions. You decided to do something about it to soothe him and let him know that maybe you and his father lived separately but when it involved him you were together.

Tim came by your house every second Friday and he stayed to spend some time together, the three of you before taking Marc for the weekend - since Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays were his days. It was surreal at first, thankfully not as awkward as you expected, but you got used to it.

Truth was that you missed him and you felt painfully guilty every now and then, thinking of how things could’ve evolved between you.  A tiny knife was twisting in your heart, slowly and bitterly, whispering with every twist words of nostalgia, telling you that you could’ve made it in the end and that you could’ve been like that every single day - only if you had been a little more patient and your ego hadn’t ruined everything.

Every time you looked at him, he was feeding your fantasy and the deepest spark of hope of ending up together eventually. But you had accepted that it wasn’t going to happen.

It was damn hope that was breaking him as well. If you missed him once, he missed you ten times more.

You left such an imprint on his heart, it was hard for him to ignore it and pretend it never existed. He looked for you everywhere, in all of his favourite places, in every person he met, trying to find your similarities and your differences. But no one’s love was like yours. Everyone was too sour, too rotten, too bitter.

He wanted you.

Two years in and he had completely lost himself in the past. The desire to turn the past into the present was boiling more and more each time he saw you. He wanted everything with you; happiness, elation, impatient expectancy, worry, idyllic calm, wrath, anger, despair, hurt, all those emotions, pure or ugly, the good and all bad counterparts, he wanted them with you.

Life went on.

It was winter, January, the weather harsh with biting cold ready to freeze off any uncovered parts. It was snowing after many years.

Down at the street, you looked like dark blurs against the backdrop of white.

It was the first time Marc saw snow and he wanted to go out and play one last time before falling asleep. You wouldn’t let him this late at night awake but you and Timothée also wanted to see it before everything melted the next morning.

« I don’t want to put this on ! », Marc whined, running away, hopping over ice ridges and kicking up the powdery snow under the faint, golden rays of square streetlights.

« Ah, got you ! », Timothée managed to pick him up after so much running. The boy tried to jump off his grasp while laughing uncontrollably as his father rubbed his nose against his and smeared kisses all over his face. « Stubborn little monkey. »

« Marcy, » you breathed out exhausted from all the chasing, holding his scarf, beanie and gloves. « Please, put them on, baby. »

« Ah, why ? », he threw his head back on his father as you crouched in front of him.

« Why ? », you asked in fake surprise, patiently swirling the scarf around him, one, two, three loops until his neck was completely covered and a part of his mouth as well, muffling his protests and laughs. « Because I want you to be warm… and healthy… », you cupped his cheeks and gave him a kiss. « With ears… » He giggled when you put on his beanie and adjusted it.

Timothée smiled sweetly at you.

He remembered how scared you were when you first found out that you were pregnant and how many nights he stayed awake and tried to soothe your tears, reassuring you that you were going to be a great mother. You had many doubts but he had none.

It turned out, he was right. In fact, « great » was an understatement.

Very few parents would be as patient and caring as you. Timothée watched you crouched in front of Marc trying to reach his height, taking his hands on yours and putting his gloves on while explaining to him that you wanted him strong and healthy so that he’d be able to run, and play, and do all the things he loved so much. Even when he threw the beanie off his head and ran away you didn’t raise your tone to yell at him just let out a hushed chuckle.

« Never gonna catch me ! Never gonna win ! »

« Please, make him wear it, » you smiled with a painful grimace at Timothée who looked at you for a moment, eyes observing the way you shook away the snow from the cloth before passing it to him.

« Oh, don’t worry. »

« I don’t. » A boyish grin appeared on his lips.

« Dad ! », Marc stopped for a second, waiting for him to chase him.

« Oh, I’m coming ! I’m gonna get you ! », Tim said loud enough for Marc to leave a small scream and keep running. Timothée followed him quickly, jumping into frozen caps of snow. « I’m gonna get you ! », he cried and Marc burst out in laughter, giving him small glances on top of his shoulder.

You chuckled watching them chase one another, tossing small snowballs and slipping in the snow every now and then, until Tim caught up to him, caging him in his embrace and wore the beanie on his head, sliding it down until it reached his nose. Marc giggled deliriously as Timothée nudged him and tickled him, their laughter sounding louder and louder through the night, bringing warmth to your heart. He eventually helped him adjust his hat better.

« It scratches ! », Marc whined again.

« So stubborn ! », Tim nudged his side again.

« Dad ! Stop ! », he laughed. His feet slipped suddenly, and Timothée tried to catch him but Marc pulled him to the plush hills of snow. He climbed then on top of him, out of breath, letting out a victorious howl. « Surender ? », Timothée huffed, before raising his hands up and nodding eagerly.

« Boys, y’alright ? », you asked with furrowed brows a bit concerned.

« Mum ! Mum ! I won ! », Marc smiled at you, as you slowly approached them.

Marc tented his hand for you to take but when you gave it to him, he pulled you down just like he did with his father.

« Y’alright ? », Tim turned to you.

« I’m alright, » you muttered behind your teeth while trying to get up. Marc’s laughter was loud and clear in the back. « But this little monkey won’t be if I catch him. » He let out a yelp and quickly made his way back to the house, tossing snow out of his path.

« Let me help you, » you gave Tim your hand once you stood up. He looked at it for a second. « Don’t be so suspicious, » a smile appeared on your lips when you saw him chuckling. You rolled your eyes and looked away but as you were about to take your hand back he grabbed it and pulled you down right next to him.

« Ah ! Like father, like son ! » He laughed.

« Looks like he took something from me after all. »

« Something ? Tim, he looks just like you. » He grinned proudly at your words and you nodded eagerly. « It’s cunning. »

« And he has my mischievousness. » You smiled. « He’s a good kid. » You looked at him for a moment before your stare fell down. The situation was tragicomic, it deserved a bitter smile.

« Yeah, he is, » you murmured.

Those little moments you spent together reminded you of how much you missed being next to him. You didn’t even have to talk, just sit in silence. It was painful knowing you’d never feel like that again without a hint of hurt.

Timothée furrowed his brows, his eyes following you as you got up, and, this time without offering your hand, headed to the house.

He ran behind you, the sound of his boots sinking into the smooth surface making you smile. You turned to wait for him and once he was next to you, he playfully touched the back of your neck with his bare hand. A long gasp escaped your mouth as your back arched, the cold transferring goosebumps down your spine. You pushed him away, mumbling all sorts of curses as he joined you inside laughing.

« Hands ? », you pointed at Marc who was bringing a pile of toys to the living room. Timothée checked on his watch the time and it was too late. 

« Washed ‘em ! »

« You sure ? », you raised a brow.

« I washed them, smell, » he raised one hand for you to see which caused some toys to fall to the ground. Marc groaned.

« I trust you, love. »

Tim grasped some of the toys from his hug to help him as you picked up the rest from the ground.

« Where are you going with all of these, baby ? It’s time for bed. »

« But I’m not sleepy, dad... » You left the toys on top of the living room table.

« You need to rest, you know what time it is ? », Timothée rubbed his shoulder gently. Marc looked at him pleadingly.

« I wanna stay and play with you... »

« But we’re gonna sleep too, » Tim said. « We’ll put you to bed, and then we’ll sleep because we’re very tired. »

« No, I wanna stay with you... Please... »

« Alright, here’s what we’re gonna do, » you said taking his hand in yours. « We’ll leave all the toys here and you’ll go to bed now- »

« No, please, mum, » he squeezed your palm. You knelt down to his level.

« Just listen, I’m making a suggestion, » you said and Tim just couldn’t hold on to his smile. « The later you sleep the less energy you’ll have in the morning and you won’t be able to play. So, what we’re gonna do is leave everything right here and in the morning you can play for as long as you want. » Marc breathed out and reluctantly nodded.

« Will you wake me up early ? », he mumbled raising his hands for Timothée to take him in his arms. He did so pressing a kiss on his cheek as Marc failed to suppress a yawn.

« Of course I will, » you ruffled his hair.

« Promise ? »

« Yeah. »

« Swear to God ? » You chuckled.

« Yeah, swear to God. »

« Hope to die ? »

« Hope to die. » He smiled sleepily, letting his head fall on his father’s shoulder as you headed into his bedroom.

You leaned against the doorframe as Tim put him to his bed.

« Tuck me in, please ? », he murmured.

« Always. » Tim pulled the covers around him, before holding his hair back to press a kiss on his forehead. You walked closer and leaned on top of his bed to kiss his cheek for good night. 

« Good night, baby. »

« Love you, monkey. »

« Love you too, dad, » his hand wrapped around yours for a moment.« Stay till I fall asleep ? » You nodded in return.

You stayed in silence for a few minutes, watching Marc slowly close his eyes. He was sprawled out on his tummy, nose pressed on the side of the pillow, nostrils flaring, releasing small snores from his mouth.

A grin appeared on your lips and you turned to Tim who smiled at you.

« I love looking at him when he’s sleeping, » you whispered. « He reminds me of when he was a baby. Remember ? »

Timothée was staring at you while you were looking at Marc, pushing gently curls out of his eyes. He had forgotten how it felt to be loved by you but he could see it in Marc, the most delicate and pure kind of love. 

Every time he watched how much you loved your son and cared about him, it reminded him of why he had fallen in love with you in the first place. He fell for you because you cared about the ones you loved and your love reflected on them, that’s why he was glowing every time he was with you. And he had missed that glow and you that was causing it.

You could feel his gaze on you so you turned to him.

« I remember, » he said softly. « And I miss everything... » Your eyes stayed on him for a moment. « Is it too late ? » 

The next morning, you had breakfast in a strange silence, only Marc talking and you softly smiling and nodding at whatever he was saying. You avoided Timothée’s eyes and he preferred to look at his plate, which Marc found weird and exchanged glances between the two of you trying to find out what had happened all of a sudden.

« Alright, » you kissed Marc’s forehead as he put on his seatbelt in the back of Timothée’s car. « Have fun with dad. »

« Bye, mum ! », Marc waved his hand.

« I’m gonna miss you, kid, » you said and closed the car door. He pouted his lips and placed his palm on the window. You placed your hand on top of his for a moment before turning to Tim. « Okay, drive safe. » He was biting his lips clearly troubled by your last night’s conversation. « We’re good, Timothée, » you meant to reassure him that everything was fine but he just motioned to your house.

« I’ll walk you to the door, » he said, following beside you with hands buried in his pockets. Your mind was blurry, couldn’t really think anything, just waited for him to take back everything he said, to tell you that he got carried away by nostalgia and it was just a delirium. 

You wrapped your arms around you as he lingered on the doorframe.

« About last night, » he looked at you. You shook your head dismissively, facing the ground, not being able to hold his gaze.

« We’re good, Timothée. »

« No, euh… », you raised your stare at him. He breathed out thinking of how to say what he wanted to say. But it was your time to speak and you had only one question to make. 

« Did you mean it ? »

« Every word. »

Your eyes fell down again but you could feel him staring at you, waiting for something more.

« Alright, » you said, pulling your hair back. « Euh... drive safe. » He stood better, taking a step back.

« Hey, euh... Do you wanna go out sometime ? »

« Sure, when Marc- »

« No, no, » he shook his head quickly. « Go out like... just us. Properly. Like on a date. » You raised your brows in surprise.

« Us ? » He shrugged. You just stared at each other for a moment, one unable to believe what he had just said, the other unable to believe what she had just heard. « Okay... No flowers. »

« Got it, » Tim said moving back, biting his lips so he could stop smiling. « Okay, bye. »

« Drive safe. »

[xcaptain-winterx]

Gingerbread cookies

football player!Bucky Barnes x reader

summary: Your helpful football player decorates the gingerbread cookies for you while you sleep. Only problem is that your boyfriend has a better idea.

warnings: fluff, Bucky being a good boyfriend, Bucky being a horny boyfriend, cum, nsfw 18+, Alpine, pussy eating

a/n: English is not my first language, meaning you will probably find a lot of misspelling etc.. This is a fic for “Vee's holly jolly challenge” @sstan-hoe with the prompt “Before we go out…pull up that skirt real quick, baby”. Hope you like it and I hope you all have a great Christmas❤️🎄

Main Masterlist Bucky Barnes Masterlist

Bucky is walking out of the changing room, pulling his jacket tighter around him as the cold wind slaps him. He was supposed to have football practice until 5pm, but the sudden change of weather made them end earlier today. This decision was good because 10 minutes later the wind got brutal. Bucky makes his way back to his apartment, wanting to be back in the warmth as soon as possible. His phone starts to ring midway through his walk back home and he struggles for a second to get his phone out before finally managing to pull his phone out of the deeps of his pocket. A smile spreads out on his face as he sees that you are calling him.

“Hey, doll” Bucky says happily.

“Hey, baby” you say, sounding equally as happy. “I already assumed practice was going to end earlier today. How was it?”.

“It was good. I beat Steve today” he says proudly, remembering how defeated Steve looked as his best friend threw him across the field.

“Wow, that’s amazing, baby! Guess you deserve something special then, huh?”. Bucky bites his lap as he thinks about what you gave him last time you were proud of him, or more like what you did.

“I will be home in two minutes” Bucky says, speed walking down the streets and taking a shortcut. Just as Bucky is about to bring up a wish, including you in only his jersey, a noise in the background gathers his attention.

“What is that, doll?”.

“So” you begin “I actually called you because I wanted to ask you if you could make a quick stop at the supermarket and get some frosting”.

“Sure” Bucky immediately says and walks back in the other direction. “For what?”.

“Today is Yelena’s birthday and I want to make gingerbread cookies, but I ran out of frosting halfway. I still need to decorate twenty more cookies”. Bucky remembers the party. How couldn’t he? The whole football team is going and many more. Yelena and you know each other since you were about five and went together to the same schools. Meanwhile her sister Natasha was in Russia for some years.

“I thought we had enough frosting” Bucky says, remembering how went grocery shopping last week and even got more frosting than necessary.

“I thought so too, but we used quite a lot of frosting last night as we drunkenly built our gingerbread house” you say, while putting the last dozen of cookies in the oven.

Your parents came by yesterday morning before flying to England for the holidays and gifted you two some wine as an early Christmas present. Of course you two had to taste it, so you put on some nice music while Bucky lit the fireplace and then cuddled up to on the couch and opened the bottle. In no time the bottle was empty and you two dancing to Christmas music before Bucky had the brilliant idea to build a gingerbread house together, remembering you two bought a set. After some failed attempts to put it together, you two finally managed to do it and were able to decorate it. At that point, you still had enough frosting, but you wanted to do more decorations, so you took some of the frosting what was meant for the cookies.

In the end, you didn’t even use the frosting for decorating. Well, not for decorating a gingerbread house. Bucky thought it would be fun to decorate your body on the table and slowly lick the sweet scream off your body.

But the gingerbread house still looks good.

Bucky smiles back at the memory, remembering how much you two had and not only in the dirty kind.

“And now you want your lovely boyfriend to bring you some more frosting? Don’t you think you already have enough cookies?”

“Well, my lovely boyfriend, I think you can never have enough cookies and I may even spare you some if you get me some frosting” you say sweetly, secretly knowing you already got him wrapped around your fingers.

Bucky acts like he’s thinking for a second before replying. “Ok, but I want you to decorate MY cookies, especially for me. I want to take them with me to practice and rub under the boy’s noses that my girlfriend makes me cookies with personal messages”.

“You just want one that says ‘best dick’ or ‘careful big thing in pants alert’” you say laughing, imagining how he will show those cookies to Steve and Sam.

“You know me so good, doll” he says, smiling into his phone. “Alright, I will get you something, so you can finish decorating your cookies”.

“I love you, baby. Thank you so much. I will make you some hot chocolate, so you have something warm when you come home”.

“You are too good to me, doll. I love you” he says before saying goodbye. A wide grin appears on his face, while hanging up and putting his phone away. Instead of continuing his way to the supermarket, he turns around again and walks to their apartment.

Bucky wipes his snowy shoes on the doormat. He was almost home as it started snowing hard. Good, that the birthday party is inside.

He unlocks the door, and immediately a wave of warmness and the smell of fresh gingerbread hits him. He steps inside and is immediately greeted by your arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him down for a kiss. Bucky kisses you back, dropping his bag to lift you up, but before he can, you pull away from him.

“I’m so happy to see you, baby. Did you bring the frosting? The cookies are almost done” you run back to the kitchen, leaving him at the door. A soft white fur ball comes out of the bedroom upon hearing the front door open.

“Hey, Alpine” Bucky says as his little baby purrs against his legs, “I missed you too, girl”. He picks her up after removing his shoes, jacket and letting his bag drop on the small bench in the entryway. In the kitchen, he sees how productive you have been. On the counter are two batches with finished cookies, two with unfinished ones, and another batch is in the oven.

“Doll, how about you rest a bit and then get ready for the party while I finish the cookies? You need some rest” he walks closer, seeing how tired you are.

“But the cookies-“.

“I will get them out when they are done and put the frosting on them” Bucky says, giving you Alpine, who happily snuggles closer into the arms of her favorite human.

“James, you don’t have to do that. You just came home from practice and I already made you get the frosting. You don’t need to do more” you say as he leads you to your bedroom. Alpine jumps out of your arms as Bucky pulls back the blanket for you to lie down. She stretches before getting comfortable again in the warm bed she slept in before Bucky arrived. Alpine meows, waiting for you to join her.

Bucky picks you up bridal style, making you laugh. “What kind of boyfriend would I be if I made the love of my life overwork herself while I’m still full of energy” he says, laying you down on the bed and pulling the blanket tightly over you. Bucky chuckles as Alpine pops her head out from under the blanket.

“I love you, you know” you say and snuggle more into the warmth of the blanket.

“I know” Bucky grins before giving you a kiss, while murmuring a soft good night against your lips. He closes the door after walking out.

Once outside, he fist bumps the air. He can finally start with his plan. Bucky waits till the cookies are out of the oven before getting a big bowl and walking with it to the bathroom. A big grin is on his face as he closes the door.

“Merry fucking Christmas, doll”.

After you wake up and cuddled Alpine for another five minutes because your little baby wouldn’t stop complaining, you start to get ready for the party. Fixing your makeup in the mirror, you spot Alpine scratching the closed door. With a sigh, you walk over to her.

“No no no, baby. No, scratching the door!” you say and open the door, making her dash out and into the kitchen. You walk out after her, spotting your boyfriend leaning on the counter. Bucky lets out a hey as Alpine scratches his sweatpants and pushes her away with his foot.

When he turns his head around, he sees you standing there in a red dress. “Well, hello there, doll. Don’t you look pretty” he says, not moving from his spot, but giving you flirty smirk. You blush at his comment and walk over to him, noticing all the cookies decorated, though it’s a bit messy, and the frosting looks a bit too thin.

“Thank you for decorating them” you kiss his cheek “They look amazing”. It’s not a lie. You think they are pretty, even if they aren’t decorated the best.

Bucky smiles before he reaches for a cookie and holds it up to you, grinning. “Want a taste?”.

You nod and open your mouth for Bucky to put it in your mouth. You then take a big bite out of the cookie, not seeing how Bucky bites his lip.

The cookie doesn’t taste like you thought it would. Instead of being fully sweet, it’s more salty. At first, you think you added salt instead of sugar before you realize that it’s not the cookie that is salty. It doesn’t take a second for you to know what it is. You look at Bucky, seeing him with a seductive grin.

“You put your cum on the cookies!” you say with big eyes, staring at him with a shocked expression.

Bucky nods, looking so proud. He spent a long time in the bathroom until the bowl was full of his hot cum.

“Why?!” you ask, not believing that your boyfriend really did that. “They are for the party, baby!”

“And there are still enough. You baked so many before I even got here that had frosting on them” he replies and pulls you closer with his arm. “You said I can have some-“.

“But not so many!”

“There are still enough, doll” he kisses your cheek. “I made these extra for you”.

“Bucky, I can’t eat cum covered cookies, even if it’s yours” you say to which he only chuckles.

“You still ate this one though” he bites your neck “I know you like it”. At that, you blush and you two know he’s right. Bucky covers your neck in kisses.

“You are insane, Mr Barnes” you chuckle as Bucky purposely tickles you with his long stubbles.

“Insane in love with you” he looks in your eyes. “You know, I passed out three times for this shit. I’m surprised you didn’t hear me fall”.

You stare at him. “You passed out”.

“As I said, I’m insane in love with you”

“Aren’t you exhausted?” you ask, only now getting why he has to lean against the counter.

“A bit, but you know what I’m still able to do?”

“What?” you ask him as he lets go of you.

“Before we go out…pull up that skirt real quick, baby” he says. You bite your lip as you pull the front of your dress up. A soft moan leaves your lips as Bucky steps closer and runs his finger over your soaked panties.

“All this for me?”

“Yeah” you say with a shaky voice, watching as Bucky drops to his knees and moves your panties aside.

“Oh, doll, you are completely drenched. You really seem to like those cookies” Bucky says in a cocky voice. Before you can say something, he gives your pussy a lick, making you shut up. He picks you up effortlessly and sits you down on the free counter. Before he dives his face back to your pussy, he chases after Alpine and locks her in the bedroom, receiving some scratches while doing that, whispering under his breath how he is going to cut her nails.

Once back, he lays you down and removes your panties, stuffing them in his pockets and ignoring your hey.

“For later, doll” he says before lifting your legs on his shoulders. Bucky kisses down your leg until he finally reaches your pussy. He can see your slick and can feel himself get hard again. He perhaps passed out three times, but he will always be able to get hard for you.

“It’s only fair that I make you pass out now too” he says before finally starting to eat you out.

[modelbus]

Okay so this is VERY OLD. As in, excuse the poor writing and savor the fact I posted please :). I was in Florida for the week (not my home state) and couldn't write so I dredged up soulmate au where soulmates share scars.

This has a POV switch in it, be mindful of that while reading!

Pairing: Gn!Reader x Cc!Tommyinnit - Soulmate AU

Shining Souls

You used to love the idea of soulmates. Someone you knew was perfect for you? Sign you the fuck up.

And then you never found them. Whoever they were, you just hadn't met them yet. You know they exist, but not who they are. The sparkle of soulmates was lost throughout the wait for yours.

On your tenth birthday, the soulmate bond was cemented like it was for everyone. From that day forward, you'd share scars with your soulmate.

So when your soulmate gained a scar on his leg, perhaps a cut from a branch, you gained the same one. When your soulmate had a surgery, their scar was mirrored on your own stomach.

Likewise, the small scar on your palm from being stabbed with a pencil would've transferred. Or that time you thought It'd be a great idea to try and capture a feral raccoon and gained three scars split between your arm and your collarbone.

Even through everything that you felt like you've gone through with your soulmate, it's been seven long years of being alone.

But at some point, you had stopped caring. Stopped looking at every stranger to find their scars. And then? You started enjoying life.

You became an influencer, started streaming. Found your best friends and true source of happiness. And that was that. A soulmate could come later.

And then later became now.

You weren't disappointed at all, not upset. If anything, you were thrilled. Your best friend, your source of laughter and sunlight, was your soulmate.

Tommy was your soulmate. Tommyinnit.

And then you realized why you couldn't tell him.

Would you rather a soulmate you're dissatisfied with or to never know them? You were forced to answer the question for Tommy, and in the end you protected your own selfish feelings.

Tommy didn't know. He couldn't know! If he did, he'd reject you. That would be worse than any unreturned soulmate bond.

Because Tommy didn't see you in that way. From day one, it was pure friendship. And how did you know? How did you know your soulmate bond was wrong?

Easy.

You asked Wilbur.

In your most vulnerable moment, you messaged Wilbur. You're pretty sure he thought you had a crush on him, so that was the worst (although not wrong).

But the answer was no. Tommy only saw you as a friend.

So that was why you hadn't told you soulmate you were, well, his soulmate. Friendship was better than nothing.

The thing about soulmates was that it wasn't a guarantee. You could still choose not to date them, go off on your own. You could choose to be platonic soulmates. It was a scary gamble.

Hiding your soulmate bond was a lot easier than you thought it would be though. As long as neither of you got a huge scar on their hands or faces, you were set.

And then he had to ruin everything.

-

"A hot spring." You repeat, holding the door to your apartment open.

"Yeah." Tommy nods. "Come on!"

"I- I have to get permission, and pack-"

"Already got it." Wilbur says, waving his phone in the air. "And pack now. Two nights. Three days. Go."

"Wha-" you sputter.

Wilbur went above your head to get you to go, but why? He didn't know about the soulmate thing. Something weird was going on there, but you had bigger problems.

If you went, they'd know.

"Your parents said, quote, you need to get out of the house." Wilbur adds on.

Great. So you were being forced into this.

"Fine. Come in if you want, I guess. It'll be a minute."

"Bring YouTube friendly stuff." Tommy laughs, barging his way into your house.

Perfect. An out.

"I have Coke's in my fridge if you want one." You call out, running up your stairs to pack.

"Sweet!"

You pack as fast as you can while still being mindful of what you grab. There wasn't enough room for extras in your little duffel bag, so you just had to hope it'd be fine.

Just like you had to hope the entire vlog would be fine. Nothing would go wrong.

Right?

-

"Alright children, we're here." Phil's words pierce the fog of your sleep, drawing you out of its gentle grasp.

The car had pulled you into sleep at some point, and that was entire Tommy's fault. If he hadn't decided to tell you last minute at seven in the fucking morning then you would've been more awake!

Speaking of Tommy, your head was resting on his shoulder. You had actually googled why you two always seemed to gravitate towards each other. At tables you always managed to sit together, when walking you walked together. It was something with how soulmates subconsciously wanted to be near each other.

But he didn't seem to mind, so you took what you could.

"Sorry." You murmur, a yawn following. "Your fault for getting me up at the ass crack of dawn."

"Seven." He scoffs.

"Same thing."

"If you two don't shut up right now I will dismember you both." Tubbo complains, lightly hitting his head against the window.

"Calm down." Wilbur scolds. "We're here so you have to get up anyways."

"Fuck. Tommy, why did this have to be so early?!"

"Sorry man."

"What the fuck?!" You exclaim. "Tubbo gets an apology but I dont?!"

"You called it the ass crack of dawn." He teases. "He didn't."

"Fuck off."

"Get out of the car." Phil sighs, unlocking the doors.

They all stumble out into the dewy morning, stretching as they do. The hot spring resort actually looks pretty cute. You can't deny that you're excited.

"They don't allow kids to room by themselves so Tubbo and Tommy are together, and Phil is with Kristen who is coming later." Wilbur reports, reading off his phone before looking down at you. "So you're with me. Everyone cool?"

That's fine, you don't mind that. Wilbur's pretty cool to room with, if you have to pick an opinion. At least he has a concept of when to go to sleep.

"We aren't fucking kids." Tommy grumps, already vlogging.

"Yeah yeah." Wilbur waves a hand in the air.

"Let's check in, settle into our rooms, then explore the place." Phil suggests.

"Last one there is a loser." Tommy cries, running off.

"Hey!" You yell back, racing after him.

Tubbo's quick to follow.

-

The hot spring resort is cozy in a cool way. Cabin-like, yet modern. You hate to admit it but Tommy was definitely right about this being a cool vlog.

And the hot spring was even cooler. It was definitely hot, that's for sure. Someone had put LED lights in it, making it glow different colors. You took care to twist your leg away from the view of others, hiding the thin scar on your ankle.

A long sleeve swim shirt covered your others scars, much to your pleasure.

Tommy and Tubbo were currently trying to drown Wilbur while you warded off Phil.

"Look, a bird!"

"Mate, I know there's no bird."

"No, but there is. It's a crow. You're the crow father. Look."

"...I'm not looking."

Shit. Okay, you needed something else.

"Is that scar from Kristen?" You blurt, regretting it immediately.

This was the one thing you were meant to stay away from and here you were bringing it up. Phil's eyes immediately soften at the mention of his soulmate, their collective mother.

He brings a hand up to graze at the barely noticeable white line along the top of his forehead.

"Yeah, it was. She fell and hit her head pretty bad. I was freaking out for days."

There was a familiar fondness in his voice, one that you wished you could have.

His expression suddenly changes.

"I've never heard you talk about your soulmate scars."

Oh, shit. Okay, think of a lie.

"I don't have any." You push your hands out, creating ripples.

"Hm. I don't know if I'd rather that or not. At least your soulmate is being safe."

"Yeah." You laugh, albeit nervously.

"Help!" Tommy screams.

You turn around to find Wilbur holding him upside down, repeatedly dunking him in the water. Tubbo is too busy laughing to help so you start on splashing.

"Argh!" Wilbur yells, dropping Tommy completely into the water.

"Yeah bitch!" Tommy cheers once he stands up again.

Your eyes automatically find their way to the scar you share on your arms before darting away again. While your long sleeves covered yours, his short sleeves exposed it.

"Piss off, children."

"Guys, let's see who can hold their breaths underwater the longest! Phil, count us."

In the end, Tubbo wins. Turns out Tommy has the lung capacity of a fucking toddler, making you the second place winner.

By the time they call it quits, you're ready to collapse. Hopefully you do something less tiring tomorrow.

"I love Tommy, but he runs us ragged." Wilbur tells you, collapsing in bed.

"Oh yeah. And we'll do it all again tomorrow."

Unlike him, you climb into your bed with at least a little bit of dignity.

"Weird question, but don't you find it strange that Tommy hasn't found his soulmate yet?" Wilbur asks, hugging a pillow and tilting his head to see you.

Fear clogs your throat up. He can't know. He can't.

"He's always had them on the internet, so his soulmate should've been able to just contact him."

Oh. Thank fucking God.

"Maybe they're not online."

"Maybe. I feel bad for him though. He wants to meet them so bad. We don't exactly give him hope though."

Wilbur, with his scarred hands from guitar, and his undeniable pessimism about his soulmate. How would he react if he knew?

Riddled with guilt, you turn away from him and close your eyes.

-

"Let's get there first and-" Wilbur's eyes widen as he crashes into you, his bright red juice splashing over your very distinctly pale blue swim shirt.

It stains quick, and you hold it away from your body.

"Shit!" He exclaims. "I am so sorry. Do you have anything else you can use?"

"I didn't pack anything extra." You groan. Stupid of you.

"Fuck, me either. I'll go grab a shirt from Tommy or something, he always packs extra."

While he vanishes, you sigh and peel it off. Hopefully it wouldn't stain your skin or anything. Luckily, it didn't seem like it did. Little things.

Of course Wil had to get fruit punch. The worst possible thing to spill on you. Your swim shirt was definitely ruined.

"Got one." Wilbur announces, opening and closing the door. "I'm pretty sure it's merch for a band I recommended but I'm trying not to be hurt by that."

He holds the shirt out, and you reach to take it.

You can pinpoint the exact moment he sees. The exact moment things click together in his head, because the shirt falls to the ground. His eyes, wide and filled with betrayal, give him away.

Shit.

You had to do one thing. One simple thing. And you fucked it up. In the fun excitement of the day you had forgotten all about the soulmate scars.

"Wilbur-" you start, but he doesn't let you finish.

"You told Phil you didn't have any scars."

And yeah, you did. You directly lied.

"Wil-"

"And you're not just anyone's soulmate. I know these scars. You're Tommy's."

"Please." You beg, but you aren't sure for what.

"I thought— you always wore long sleeves. I thought maybe you were hurting yourself, but no. You were lying. You're Tommy's soulmate and you haven't told him."

"You can't tell him." Ah. That's what you're begging for. His silence.

"You're his soulmate!" You duck your head away from gaze. "Do you not like him or something?" He pauses. "Do you not want him to be your soulmate?"

He's got it all backwards, but you don't bother to correct him.

"Wil, I'm begging you not to tell him. Please."

"Why?" He asks, plainly. "Why shouldn't I?"

You open and close your mouth. There're too many reasons, too much to say.

"You can't." You just whisper, voice breaking.

He stares at you for a moment, clearly thinking.

"...the shirt has short sleeves." Wilbur finally responds.

"I'll figure it out. You won't say anything?"

"I won't say anything. You tell him after this vlog is over, though."

Time. Time is all you can buy, and not much at that. But you'll take it.

It'll give you time to move halfway across the world at least! (You're joking. Mostly.)

"Thank you." Your shoulders slump in relief.

"If he figures it out, I'm not going to lie to him." He warns you.

"He won't. He hasn't yet, right?"

This gets Wilbur to laugh quietly. "How'd you do it? How'd you keep it a secret? The soulmate bond must be itching for more."

Lifting your shoulders in a helpless movement, you shrug. "It is."

His eyes soften. "Looking back, it feels stupid not to have known. You two always did find yourselves together more often than not."

"I know." You laugh. "He's a clingy motherfucker."

"That he is. Put the shirt on and I'll meet you outside."

When the door shuts behind him, you hide your hands in your hair and tug. Hard.

It'd be fine. Everything would be absolutely fine.

Hey! What more could you fuck up?

-

Everything was fucked up and you hadn't even told Tommy. Wilbur's gaze was constantly on you, the weight of judgement heavy. Tommy wouldn't even look at you, like he knew you had done something just by your face.

At least Tubbo, Kristen, and Phil were all blissfully ignorant.

Tommy had set down his camera, claiming that he had enough footage, and they were now just having fun for themselves. You had to be careful though. Arms always pointed inwards, hiding yourself.

The vlog was over and the time was out.

Wilbur could say something any minute. He could ruin everything you had worked so hard to build up.

Soulmate bonds weren't just a signal of who was your soulmate, they were a connection. It could only be severed when both parties accepted they didn't want to be together, which Tommy and you hadn't.

Which meant that the bond, for every second you denied it, tugged harder. Wanted you closer. Phil and Kristen were an extremely close soulmate bond, meaning they could feel each other's emotions when they got strong, so at least there were upsides that existed.

"Tubbo! Race me!"

"Did you and Tommy get into a fight?" Kristen asks, wadding closer. Because of course Kristen noticed how you were left out.

"No." You deny.

You and Wilbur did though.

"I'll be right back, I need to plug my phone in." You smile, climbing out of the warm hot spring and heading away.

The second you round the corner, it all comes crashing down.

- Wilbur

He was so conflicted.

You were someone he trusted with his life, a pretty honest person, so this just didn't make sense for you. Besides, you and Tommy were so close! If you didn't have romantic feelings for him you at least had platonic.

So caught up in his thoughts, he doesn't realize Tommy is back from his race until he's getting splashed. Before he can splash him back, Tommy pauses and grabs his arm.

"Ow!" He exclaims.

"What happened?" Wilbur asks, reaching out with no hesitation.

Tommy pulls his hand away from his arm, holding it out. Five little crescent moon marks are bleeding. Not a lot, but it must be enough to leave small scars.

"Aw, mate." Phil sighs. "Did you do that?"

"No, I think it's my soulmate."

You.

You were alone right now and, by the looks of it, digging your fingernails into your arm.

"Glad they keep first aid kits around for times like this." Kristen laughs, holding it out to Phil.

"I'll be right back." Wilbur blurts out, hopping out of the hot springs and running off in the direction you went.

If Tommy was getting hurt, so were you.

- You

This was a mess.

You didn't know what to do; letting Wilbur say something was like a cop-out, but telling Tommy yourself was too hard. And then your previous choice of not saying anything wasn't available anymore.

God.

"You're hurting yourself." Wilbur says gently.

Your head snaps up in surprise. When did he get here?

You were a pathetic sight right now. Knees drawn up to your chest, red eyes from crying. So shaken by the idea of losing the friendship of your soulmate.

Finally, the pain in your arm registers. Your crossed arms had allowed you to pierce the skin with your nails without even realizing.

"Shit." You hiss, holding it out. "Sorry, I didn't mean to."

"Don't apologize."

It's already stopped bleeding, so you wipe the drops away.

"...is this about the soulmate thing?"

You nod miserably. "I know I should tell him, but I'm scared. I don't want to lose his friendship."

"You can be platonic soulmates."

That was true. Rare as it was, platonic soulmates existed.

"But that won't work." You whisper, staring away.

"Why- oh. You like him more than a friend."

"Yeah. And if I tell him about the soulmate bond then he'll ask and if he asks and I tell him it'll fuck everything up."

"How do you know?"

Trying to fit yourself smaller, you sniffle.

"You told me."

"...I did?"

"Yeah. It was about a year ago."

"Oh." He says softly. "I remember that.I wasn't- I didn't ask him. He always said he wanted to wait for his soulmate, and I thought you weren't his so... shit. Fuck, I'm sorry."

Wait, what?

That wasn't possible.

You had not been denying your soulmate bond because of something that wasn't even true.

"If it helps, I think if it were anyone, I'd want it to be you. He does like you, at least as a friend. I wouldn't be surprised if it was something more."

"What?"

Wilbur shrugs. "It's you two. When I grabbed you the extra shirt, he told me no at first. When I told him it was for you and not me, he changed his mind. I don't know for sure, but I'd say there's a pretty good chance."

That's...

That's all you wanted. A chance. If there was just a chance, you'd take it in a heartbeat. But what if Wilbur was reading it wrong?

"So, Tommy, huh?" Wilbur laughs.

"Yeah." You sigh. "Tommy."

"Good. You two need each other, I think."

"Kind of weird, but okay."

The pressure on your chest had been relieved, and you both smile at your words. The mood was effectively lightened.

"I kind of ran away so we should really get back." He sheepishly admits.

"Ran away?"

"Tommy started bleeding." He nods towards your arm.

"Fuck."

"Hey, it's okay. No worries. Just... tell him when you can. Better sooner than later."

"I will." And this time you mean it.

"Let's go then."

-

Tommy, ever the pianist, is playing. It's only been two days since the trip and whatever weird feelings he had that last night disappeared.

"Fuck yeah." He says, nodding. "I am the master."

"Sure." You roll your eyes.

His playing now done, he takes a seat on his bed next to you. Maybe even a little too close, because you can't unsee it now.

This was it. It was a rare moment where you didn't have a topic, and it was perfect.

"There's something you need to know."

Tommy can be serious sometimes, contrary to popular belief. Right now, he perks up, a serious look on his face as he waits for you to continue.

"Okay. What's up? Is everything okay?"

You'll kill Wilbur if he was wrong. For a second you fidget with the ends of your sleeves, contemplating.

"Um."

And that was it. That was all that came out of your mouth despite everything that you needed to say.

"Sorry." You laugh anxiously.

Tommy, noticing your moving fingers, grabs your hand and gives a reassuring squeeze. This. You didn't want to lose this.

But at the same time, you wanted to gain so much more.

"I'm your soulmate."

Tommy drops your hand. "Funny." He says in a way that promises he didn't find it funny at all.

"I'm serious."

"You don't have any soulmate scars."

This was the hard part to explain. Your lying. So you don't. You just turn your body towards his and tugs your shirt collar lower to reveal the scar along your collarbone.

"Wha- how long have you known?! Why didn't you tell me?!"

Your hands drop to your lap, this time enclosed in each other. You close them tighter.

"A year."

"What?" His voice has lost it's edge where he's nearly shouting, now just hurt. Shock.

It's worse. It's so much worse.

All or nothing, you've come this far. Right?

Right.

"I was scared?" It comes out like a question but you keep going. "Soulmates can choose not to reciprocate and I asked Wilbur-"

"Wilbur knows?!"

"Only for three days. I made him promise not to say anything. But I asked a vague question a year ago and..."

And yeah. That's it.

"You didn't tell me." He finishes. "You didn't tell me that we're soulmates. But we- we can be platonic soulmates! Those exist!"

Oh. Wilbur was wrong. But this was better than nothing.

"Yeah. Yeah, we could-"

Before you can finish, his lips are on yours.

It's just for a second, barely anything, but you freeze. That wasn't platonic. Not platonic at all.

"Sorry." He immediately apologizes, eyes wide. "I'm sorry. I just- I had to. One time. Then we're platonic. I get it, you only feel platonically towards me, I'll-"

"I only feel platonically for you?" You repeat. "What? You feel platonically for me!"

"...I think there's been a miscommunication."

"No shit. So... what?"

You're so confused. Did he have platonic feelings or romantic? Because you knew yours.

"So I like you. Like, really really like you. But if you don't... we can be friends."

Fuck, Wilbur was actually right for once. How long had he felt like this? How long were you missing out?

"No. I- I really like you too. I just thought you didn't like me!"

"Right." He nods. "So I can kiss you again?"

You laugh, and he takes that as his answer.

[xoxoladyaz]

When Stevie Harrington was nine years old, she wrote her future self a list on the front page of her diary. The title of the list read

RULES FOR STEVIE’S FUTURE HUSBAND

and it felt necessary to her nine-year-old self to have this list. Sure, she was young, but she wasn’t dumb. Her parents weren’t like Tommy’s parents who had date nights and kissed each other every time they said goodbye. Stevie’s parents never hugged or kissed each other (or her). And sure, they spent all their time together, but they never looked happy. No, they were always angry, and no matter what Stevie did she couldn’t figure out why. 

(At least, not until Tina Kline’s birthday party.) 

And as soon as she returned home from the party, she ran up to her room and started her list because Stevie Harrington wanted to fall in love someday, she wanted to have a house and a husband who was nice like Tommy’s dad, so it was important that she remembered the Rules.

1. He couldn’t be too old

(They’re ten years apart in age, she heard Mrs. Kline say. That’s just such a large age gap. It’s no wonder that it’s not working, they’re clearly at two very different stages in their lives.)

2. He couldn’t travel all the time for work

(It’s not the age gap that’s the problem, dear, Mrs. Hagan had scoffed back at her. It’s all of Richard’s frequent ‘business trips.’ It’s hard to have a family or a relationship if your husband is never around.)

and most importantly,

3. Any guy who dated around too much before was BAD NEWS

(Girls, we all know what the real problem is, and it has nothing to do with how old Richard is or how much he travels, Mrs. Perkins spoke with determination. Richard has never had a serious relationship in his life. We all know that he made it abundantly clear he was never interested in settling down. He had a new girl every week and she was one of them, for god’s sake! A tiger doesn’t change his stripes and Victoria was a fool to think a baby would change that.

Maybe if they’d had a son, Mrs. Kline had offered, but then they noticed Stevie was there and they stopped talking.)

It was a short list, but it was a good place to start. And as Stevie grew older she added more on to it, like make sure he wears deodorant and has to be a good dancer and never date a guy with a mullet (looking at you, Billy Hargrove.) And that’s not even to mention her large period of self-growth after college when Robin finally convinced her to go to therapy to talk about her family issues, at which point she added on you deserve someone who loves and appreciates everything about you and doesn’t just use you for sex (and fuck, that was a hard and painful lesson to learn. It also put a bit of a damper on dating in her early-twenties but, well, seeing the quality of man that was out there? It was probably for the best. She didn’t want to be Victoria Harrington, after all.)

So why, if Stevie had this list, if she’d had all of these years of preparation, if she knew exactly what she wanted – and more importantly, what she didn’t want – then why, at the age of twenty-six, was Stevie Harrington falling headfirst into a relationship with a world famous rock star who was

1. Twelve years her senior

2. Currently on tour and

3. Had a long, long string of famous (and infamous) ex-lovers?

(And why was her heart telling her that despite all evidence to the contrary, Eddie Munson was going to be the exception to all her rules?)

A/N: LMK if you want to see more of this!

[milawritesstuff]

Pedri smut where it’s his birthday and reader wants to take care of him, but then he just can’t hold back in the end and switches things up.

A/N: This might be one of my faves.

Warnings: ⚠️ smut & a picture that might kill you lol

•••

-I can’t wait to give you your birthday present.- you whisper into Pedri’s ear who is leaning against the kitchen counter as you both hide in his kitchen during his birthday party. His arms around your waist, your legs in between his. He smiles.

-Tonight?- he asks.

-Mmhhm.- you say as you leave a small kiss on his ear. -I love them but I’m so glad your parents already left.- you say which causes him to laugh.

-Hey that’s your problem, you’re the one who didn’t want to do anything while they were here.-

You pull yourself apart from him and stare at his beautiful brown eyes. You look down at his lips.

-I didn’t want them to hear us.- you bite your bottom lip.

-So I can make you scream tonight?- he asks with a smirk.

You laugh and take a step away from him. You begin to walk out of the kitchen and turn around to look at him. -That will be your challenge, Pedrito.- you wink and walk out.

A few hours later the last guest left and Pedri closed the door behind him. You were in the kitchen cleaning up some of the mess when you felt his hands around your waist and he’s pressed against your back.

-Pedri.- you say as you lean your head to the right and he begins to nibble on your neck. You close your eyes. The sweet tender kisses he leaves on your neck are enough to make you feel butterflies in your stomach.

-Can we leave the mess for tomorrow? I think it’s time for my gift.- he says.

The two of you walk towards the bedroom as you begin to take your dress off. As you are trying to take your bra off you hear him say -Here let me help.- he walks towards you and unclips your bra slowly taking it off of you and letting it fall to the ground. Still behind you his hands grab your breasts and he begins kneading them. He leaves small kisses on your bare shoulders.

You turn around and face him. You kneel down in front of him and begin to undo his pants. He looks down at you as his breathing accelerates. You look up at him and smile pulling his pants and underwear down.

You grab his dick that’s already hard and twitching for you. You lick your lips and take him in. He looks down at you and lets out a loud moan. His breathing is accelerated. His mouth half open as he grabs your hair and he begins to pull you in towards him. He can’t control himself and he begins to thrust into your mouth. You take him in deeper and look up at him only to see as he throws his head back and scrunches his eyes in pleasure.

-Princesa, stop.- he says. -If you keep on going I’m going to come right now.-

The truth was the two of you had stayed off of each other for the whole week his parents had been visiting. Every makeout session ended up being interrupted by noise outside and at night you were afraid they would hear you. You were needy for him as he was for you. But he was just too sensitive.

-Ven.- you say as you stand up and grab his hand walking towards the bed. He stands in front of you and kisses you. One of your hands goes up to the back of his head and the other to his face as you cup his chin in your hands. His hands around your waist. He moans into your mouth.

He lets go of your lips and begins to kneel down as he begins to bring down your underwear which is the only thing left on your body. He does so slowly and looks up at you as he bites his bottom lip. He places a small kiss near your thigh.

He tries to have you lay on the bed but you move yourself to be on top of him. He places his hands around your waist and lifts you up as you position yourself on top of his tip.

You look down at him and smile giving him the okay to let you fall down on him. You can feel as he enters you and begins to fill you up slowly. Once he is fully in you you begin to rock back and forth slowly.

Your hands now on his abs. His perfectly chiseled abs. You look up at his face and his red flushed cheeks. For some reason his red flushed cheeks always drove you crazy even when he was in matches and they were caused by the cold weather. His forehead with sweat and his messy hair.

You continued to rock back and forth. His hands now trailing from your waist towards your breast. He begins kneading them and it drives you crazy. Your hands on his chest trying to balance yourself.

He’s enjoying the view of you bouncing on top of him. Your breasts in his hands.

-Papi.- you manage to moan and he can’t control himself any longer.

He begins to buck his hips up to meet your hips as you continue to roll them onto him. You moan in pleasure and that’s all he needed.

In a swift move he turns the two of you over and now he’s in control in between your legs hovering over you.

He moves one of your legs over his waist to give him more access to you and he begins to thrust in and out. Your lips intertwined with his as you can feel him touching you deeper and deeper.

His lips now leaving yours and going down to your neck. You whimper at all of the things he makes you feel.

You can feel yourself twitching around him.

-Fuck.- he manages to say. -I’m going to come.-

You open your eyes as your back is arching and your hands hold on to the bedsheets. He continues to thrust into you deeper, harder, faster. You let yourself go and feel as you come.

His eyes are scrunched up and his mouth is half open. His breathing is getting heavier and heavier. Seeing his beautiful face like this on top of you. The way his eyes shut down from pure pleasure. The way you had all of the control in that moment.

You cup his face in between your hands to be able to see him.

-Vamos papi.- you say as he goes completely undone and begins to moan your name. You feel his twitching inside of you as he comes.

Seconds later he takes himself out of you and lays next to you. He plants a kiss on your forehead.

-I love you.- he says.

You smile. -Happy birthday my love.-

[i4gonzalez]

Kylian Mbappé

FLUFF ALPHABET

FLUFF ALPHABET: kylian mbappé

summary: things about your relationship with kylian based on each letter of the alphabet. (this is right? idk how explain it)

notes: i had never done a fluff alphabet, so i’m a little insecure about it. anyway, be kind to me;)

ps: if you want me to make a separate imagine about any letter, please let me know.

english isn’t my native language, so i used translator for it

━━━ ━━━ ━━━ ━━━ ━━━ ━━━ ━━━

ATTRACTIVE: physically, kylian loves your smile. your smile was the first thing he noticed in you. kylian is sure that your smile improves his days and always tells you that. he does his best to see you smile every day. emotionally, kylian loves how positive you are. since he met you, he has also become a little more positive. you are like a walking ray of sunshine.

BABY: kylian never had a serious conversation with you about children. sometimes you made a mental list of names for babies, kylian always chose girl’s names while you chose boy’s. anyway, you agree that you are not ready to be parents yet.

CUDDLE: kylian knows that you love that he cuddle you in the back, so he always does. sometimes he also cuddles you supporting his head between your neck and your shoulder.

DREAMS: you two like to imagine yourself in the near future. kylian always imagines you together on the beach, having a lot of free time — since you don’t have much. kylian knows that you love the sea. maybe you could also adopt a dog, it would certainly be called petit (which means small in french)

EARLY MORNINGS: kylian wakes up early every day and — unlike you — this is not a problem for him. sometimes when kylian comes back from morning training on weekends, you are still sleeping or being too lazy to get out of bed. but when he is off he likes to enjoy lazy mornings with you, since you hate getting up early.

FIRST DATE: kylian was a little nervous while waiting for you at the restaurant. When you arrived, he handed you a bouquet of your favorite flower and you smiled. your smile made his nervousness go away and everything was more natural. you talked and laughed a lot that night. kylian gave you a ride to your house and felt very lucky to have gone out with you.

GRATITUDE: kylian feels very grateful and lucky to have you with him. kylian knows that it is not easy to have a relationship with a person who has a public life. since a few weeks of dating, paparazzis have started following you and you both know what the hell this is. after seeing you endure all this madness and several hate messages from his female fans, kylian was sure that you were the perfect person for him.

HONESTY: kylian is always an open book. he has no reason to lie and always talks to you about everything. he is also not very good at hiding things from you, even if it was something small like your surprise birthday party. you value honesty a lot, so you love the fact that kylian is so honest.

IMPRESSION: the first impression that kylian had about you was that you were like a walking ray of sunshine. you were always smiling and being kind to everyone around you. after you smiled at him, kylian was sure he had to ask you out.

JOKES: kylian is not a joker, but he makes a point of thinking and learning several jokes to make you laugh. he knows that you smile easily and loves your laugh. you try to make him laugh with some silly jokes too, but you can never finish them, since you end up laughing before the end. kylian loves it.

KEYS: one of kylian’s favorite memories is from the day he gave you the keys to his apartment. “what is this?” you asked, after seeing that kylian gave you a small golden key. “this is the key to my apartment,” he said. “well... now it’s our apartment, right?” kylian asked, making you smile. “is that serious?! damn k, i love you!” you hugged him and then kissed him for a while.

LOVE LANGUAGE: kylian’s love language is physical touch. he loves to hug you, hold your hands and be together with you. kylian knows that your love language are words of affirmation, so he always makes a point of praising you and telling you how much he loves you. you’ve never been a big fan of hugs, but kylian’s are an exception. his hugs makes your day so much better.

MARRIAGE: kylian and you really want to get married one day. you two are waiting for the right moment. you agree that it would be something small, only with close friends and family. you and kylian imagine what your married life will be like — with ups and downs, like every couple — but for sure the honeymoon is the best part. you two would love to go somewhere that have sea. boats are also indispensable!

NICKNAMES: since the beginning of your relationship, kylian calls you mon soleil (which means my sun in french). you just call him k because you always thought these nicknames with initials were cool.

OBSESSIONS: kylian knows that you love shells. you have a collection of shells (like a kid); there are small, big, beautiful and common. he always makes a point of getting some shells for you every time he goes to the beach.

PETS: kylian and you don’t have any pets. you’ve wanted a dog before, but you realized that neither of you have enough time to take care of one. even so, you have a list of names for dogs on his phone notes. the first name on the list is petit.

QUESTIONS: kylian and you always make a point of asking each other thoughtful questions every day. “how was your day?” and “you know that I love you, right?” are in your vocabulary.

RAINY DAYS: just like you, kylian hates rainy days. even so, when he’s off, he takes the opportunity to rest and watch several series with you. he prefers action series, but ends up giving in when you try to convince him to watch romantic series like bridgerton or normal people.

SONGS: on your first date, the song la vie en rose by emily watts played on the radio. this is your couple’s song. kylian has a very different musical taste from yours. but when you are together in his car, kylian lets you choose the songs you want — even knowing that you will listen to taylor swift all the way.

TIME: kylian and you are a couple for a year and a half. after some dates, kylian asked if you wanted to be his girlfriend — and you obviously accepted.

UPSET: when you is upset, kylian make his better for cheer you up. sometimes, he just seat on your side and be a support for you.

VALENTINE’S DAY: valentine’s day is your favorite date. kylian always does his best to spend as much time with you, in addition to giving you lots of gifts and chocolates. you always make cute cards for kylian.

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION: kylian always tells you many words of affirmation, since this is his main language of love. he also loves to praise you in french, kylian always says things like “tu es belle” (you are so pretty), “je t’aime mon amour”, (i love you, darling) “vous êtes si intelligent!” (you’re so smart!). you love when kylian speaks in french.

XO: you and kylian are the kind of couple who loves to hug and be together. you two always find a way to touch each other physically. you walk hand in hand, kiss and hug each other all the time. physical touch is the basis of your relationship.

YES: the happiest day of your life was when kylian asked you to date with him. it was on your eighth date, kylian took you to a surprise restaurant, the place was very beautiful and elegant. he seemed a little nervous, so he gave you flowers and held out the ring, kylian said “y/n, i love you! do you want to date me?”. you smiled and obviously say yes.

ZOO: a few months ago, you saw a giraffe while scrolling your instagram feed. that was enough for you to really want to see a giraffe in real life. so, you spent several days asking kylian to take you to the zoo and after some time you finally went. taking some pictures with a giraffe and seeing it in person was amazing, this will definitely be one of the coolest things you’ve done. despite not being a big fan of giraffes, kylian liked to see you so excited and happy.

━━━ ━━━ ━━━ ━━━ ━━━ ━━━ ━━━

★ the requests are open! you can also send requests to social media fics or fluff alphabets.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Timeline: Part 5 - August 2017

Previously:

2015 - April 2017 | An Update

May 2017 - June 2017

July 2017

This piece features events, press, and PR from the summer of 2017. You will see competing narratives - the Daily Mail leaking Meghan's dossier drip by drip by drip and Meghan's team counterattacking with engagement rumors.

There are two main stories in the royal sphere during this time that we know Meghan is paying attention to, as these most definitely shape her understanding of what it means to be royal: royals taking glamorous summer vacations and daily coverage of Diana's life, the impact of her death, and her lasting legacy to the world.

Fasten your seatbelts!

(Note - this was initially meant to be in the same post as the July 2017 events but Tumblr was having problems saving the post.)

August 2017: Throughout the month, there are frequent articles about the various royal families having glamorous vacations in luxurious tropical resorts. Here is a selection of them:

Charles and Camilla vacationing in Greece on a superyacht.

Felipe and Letizia vacationing in Mallorca.

Prince and Princess Michael of Kent vacationing in St. Tropez.

Mary and Frederik vacationing in Greece on a private yacht.

Princes Caroline of Monaco vacationing with Karl Lagerfield in St. Tropez.

August 2017: Throughout the month, there are tons of articles about Diana as it is the twentieth anniversary of her death. Here's a selection of them. (Most of the ones I've chosen to list here are ones that Meghan most likely paid attention to.)

Diana speaks from the grave to say she loves Kate but doesn't think Meghan is right for Harry. (August 2)

Diana was into alternative medicine and was worried about the royal family taking her children. (August 4; in hindsight, it reads like a Meghan plant.)

Mohamed Fayed still mourns Dodi and Diana, still believes the BRF ordered their deaths to keep Diana from marrying a Muslim. (August 4)

How Diana worked with the paparazzi and knew how to take a good picture. (August 6)

Diana's jewelry collection (August 6)

Diana's Kensington Palace apartment (August 7)

Diana's iconic hairstyles (August 13)

How Diana's shoes charted her happiness in marriage (August 14)

Media preview/announcement of the new Diana documentary, which has footage from/about William and Harry. Their footage in the documentary includes them discussing Philip's "If you walk, I'll walk" promise.

Diana's parenting practices (August 19)

The Queen cried for Diana (August 25)

August 2, 2017: E News (a confirmed Meghan mouthpiece) publishes a timeline of the Harkle relationship, hinting something big is coming for her birthday.

August 3, 2017: Daily Mail begins recapping Suits; in today's episode, Rachel Zane has trouble planning her wedding and her father tells her "Whatever Rachel wants, Rachel gets."

August 4, 2017: Meghan's 36th birthday and she gets the full-court press coverage of her dreams:

Meghan tells E News that she and Doria have been visiting London. They stayed for a week at the end of July when she had a break from filming Suits.

Meghan hints to People that they're engaged, and People speculates about the royal engagement ring.

A timeline is published of how Meghan's celebrity evolved to the sophisticated fashionist she is now.

Harry whisks Meghan away to Africa. She calls the paps, who takes photos of Harry and Meghan being escorted by airport security as they walk on the runway. In the photos, Meghan is carrying two hats and a large paper-wrapped gift. She hints to friendly publications that the wrapped gift is her birthday present from Harry. Speculation begins that Meghan, who is almost always papped carrying a hat or wearing one, uses the hats to signal to the paps where she is (it's a common tactic in Hollywood).

August 5, 2017: Daily Mail publishes a story about all the girls Harry has taken to Africa.

August 6, 2017: It's revealed Harry attended a three-day Google "summer camp" in Italy earlier in the summer. (I couldn't find specific dates for Google Camp, but I found several other articles that suggested Google Camp was the week of July 30, 2017. Also, Oprah Winfrey and Gayle King were at the very same Google Camp that Harry attended...)

Also on August 6, 2017, Penny Junor waxes poetic on how much Harry hs changed since dating Meghan and everything the couple has in common. including how much 'at home' they are in Africa where their celebrity doesn't matter.

August 7, 2017: Dan Wooten advises Meghan to learn from Diana's mistake and not confirm to the firm; she should be unapologetically herself. Meghan gets the cover of Hello Magazine and the Harkles merch their houseboat safari to the Mirror.

August 8, 2017: Laine has the scoop on Harry and Meghan's African holiday and she "speculates" on the timing of their engagement and when they would announce it. Paul Burrell, Diana's infamous ex-butler, says Kate doesn't have Diana's magic star quality and immediately the mainstream British press rises to Kate's defense.

August 11, 2017:

The British public wants William to be King next, not Charles.

The Daily Mail publishes another expose of Meghan and includes the revelation that Trevor thinks she cheated on him in Toronto. This leads to more rumors that Meghan isn't a good fit to the royal family and that she's hiding many more skeletons.

August 12, 2017: Gossip gets printed that Meghan doesn't want to marry Harry and she is only using him to boost her career prospects.

August 13, 2017:

It's confirmed that the ratings for Suits have increased enormously since the Harkle relationship was revealed.

Later, Hollywood industry gossip hints that Suits was "on the bubble" (i.e., in danger of being cancelled) due to poor ratings but the new blockbuster ratings following the Harkle relationship reveal stayed their execution.

The Daily Mail calls Meghan a "princess in waiting," all but confirming an engagement, and continues to drip more information about Meghan in another expose, this one about her relationship with Cory.

Harry gets a 'Hero Harry' PR piece published about his work in mental health.

Meghan leaks to the Daily Star that Harry proposed and she has accepted.

Also on August 13, 2017, Mike Tindall gives an interview in which he speaks about Meghan. He gives her the stamp of approval and says they (he and Zara, but probably all of the Phillipses, including Anne) haven't met her yet. The Daily Mail's story about Mike's comments also includes the first reporting that Harry treated Meghan to a weekend stay at a friend's house in the Hollywood Hills at some point in Fall 2016 (we know now this to be the Beckhams' house, but there some split of opinion on when this visit took place - some say Thanksgiving, some say Christmas, others say it wasn't tied to a holiday). The article also shares some details about the relationship that are inconsistent with their narrative as we know now (and knew back then).

Harry and Meghan had a date at Wimbledon and sat together in the royal box. (Didn't happen, becuase it would've been all over the papers if it did.)

Harry and Meghan spent all of July 2016 and August 2016 apart because Harry was in Africa. Meghan flew to London in September 2016 because she missed him too much. (This debunks the Harkles's own claim that they met in July and that Meghan went to Africa with Harry in August.)

August 14, 2017: The Daily Mail discusses Meghan's ancestry and geneaology; her father's family is Irish and Dutch, her mother is descended from American slaves.

Also on August 14th, the Daily Mail publishes an article about whether it's appropriate to ask someone if they're pregnant. It has nothing to do with Meghan, but it does cause some speculation that the press knows something they're not telling (i.e., Meghan's so insistent pushing Harry to the altar because of a bun in the oven). It's probably a coincidence, but I'll let you decide.

August 15, 2017: The mother of a childhood friend of Meghan revealed that Meghan was obsessed with her video recording of Charles and Diana's 1981 wedding and that Meghan was inspired by Diana's humanitarian work. Serena Williams does an interview and photoshoot with Vogue Magazine, and Meghan is asked for quotes about Serena to use in the story.

Also on August 15, Meghan publishes the "10 Women Who Changed My Life" essay for Glamour Magazine. #7 on her list is the actress Julia Roberts. Later in 2023, it's speculated that Meghan uses Julia Roberts for style inspiration when she wants to appear relatable or is doing an "America's Sweetheart" PR campaign because many of her outfits are copies of Julia Roberts' costumes.

August 16, 2017: British oddsmakers have opened bets for Harry and Meghan getting engaged and when the wedding would take place. The article says Meghan hasn't yet met The Queen.

August 17, 2017: The Daily Mail continues to recap Suits. In today's episode, Rachel Zane rows with Mike Ross over his lies.

August 18, 2017: It's confirmed that William and Harry have cameos as stormtroopers in the new Star Wars film.

August 20, 2017: The royal family is papped at Balmoral going to church. Plant does a three-part feature on how Meghan's PR has completely torpedoed Harry's "Hero Harry" PR and turned him into a rich celebrity.

August 21, 2017: Harry leaks to Camilla Tominey that he picks Meghan up from the airport all the time because he's worried about her security and privacy. The Daily Mail writes that Kate's jewelry collection is a tribute to Diana.

Also on August 21st, a royal blogger writes about Meghan's faith and religious history following conversations she had with Samantha Markle. She concludes that Meghan has never been a faithful person (the Markles aren't a religious sort) and that Meghan has never been baptized or confirmed into any faith, not even Judaism as Meghan claimed she was when she was married to Trevor. Her research indicates that Meghan needs to be baptized and confirmed into the Church of England per royal protocol to marry Harry. This causes discussion in the royal fandom about whether The Queen could withhold consent unless Meghan is baptized and confirmed.

August 24, 2017: Meghan hints to Harper's Bazaar that she and Harry are engaged.

August 25, 2017: Meghan leaks that the African holiday is over and that the trip ended at Victoria Falls.

August 28, 2017: Well-wishers begin leaving flowers outside the Kensington Palace gates for the anniversary of Diana's death. William and Harry later view the tributes (on August 30th).

August 29, 2017: The Cambridges have officially moved back to London and Kensington Palace. William and Kate to be full-time royals as George goes off to school. The Express continues hyping up an engagement.

August 30, 2017

The 100th episode of Suits airs. According to the Daily Mail recaps, Rachel Zane and Mike row again. (They're not a very happy couple, are they?)

The royal family uses the Balmoral Test against prospective new family members. Wallis Simpson bombed it.

William, Kate, and Harry visit the new Diana memorial garden at Kensington Palace. It's Harry's first Court Circular appearance since July 28, 2017, and Kate's last appearance before her third pregnancy is announced.

***********

A couple of things about Botswana in response to some of the royal-watching commentary that I rediscovered on the Botswana airport pap pics:

There was a great deal of special treatment by the airport because they were escorted by airport workers across the tarmac. This is standard practice in most of the smaller African airports. I went to Africa for vacation in June this past year and traveled between several countries. All of the airports we went through (in Johannesburg, Botswana, Zambia, and Zimbabwe), we had to walk on the tarmac to embark and disembark and each time, we were escorted by airport workers for security reasons. The only thing "unique" about Harry and Meghan's security escort was that it was just the two of them on their flight, rather than the 30/40/50-person larger group most of us fly in. (In fact, the only airport where we didn't have to exit the facilities was Johannesburg when we arrived from the US and were departing back to the US.)

There was a lot of "they can't possibly be in Africa now because they're wearing summer clothes and it's winter!" commentary because in the pap pics, Meghan and Harry are in summery casual clothing - shorts, flip-flops, tank top/t-shirt. Botswana doesn't get winter the way we do; their winter feels more like our spring, with temperatures in the 50s/60s. Someone who was used to harsh Canadian winters, like Meghan was at the time, would have thought a Botswanan winter was absolutely balmy and would have been perfectly comfortable in a tank top and flip-flops.

[junicult]

Hello! I really love how you write for harvey and had wanted to ask this for a long time but i can’t see if you’re open or closed for request/Asks.

But if you are may i ask you what do you think about Harvey knowing dances like Cha cha? or Waltz?

I don’t know where this idea came from but Whenever i see him on the town especially with the seasonal outfit mod on winter~

He always strikes me as a refined man from a wealthy family and I don’t even know why plus his portrait looks like he’s the type to listen and sing along to up town girl (T-T)

Thank you~

pls forgive how messy this entire thing is i just worked an 8 hr shift but i see harvey…i gotta write for harvey.

i’d agree he was raised pretty well-off, but still humble. he never really had to worry about money growing up, and i still feel like when he reached a certain age he got a minimum wage job just for his own benefit.

like he never struggled growing up, but he also wasn’t swimming in money. he could afford to get things he wanted, but he didn’t unless he needed them. whether his parents raised him that way or not, he’s always been responsible.

and i definitely agree he’s a gentleman, always has been. he was the type that was raised to say “excuse me,” before leaving the dinner table, y’know?

speaking of, his family was also the kind that made it important to eat dinner together every night. i think he’s carried that on since childhood.

i wanna hc him w siblings. i just feel like he was the middle child for some reason. it radiates off of him. either that, or only child. but i think it’d be cute to imagine him as the middle brother of two sisters.

the most refined men have older sisters, THIS IS A FACT!!

he’d just be forced to listen to all of their problems as teenagers, and he’d learn a lot from them. i know he got along with them so well. he was a little nerd with his interests, and his sisters would gift him little model airplanes on his birthday that he still keeps in his apartment 🫶🫶

now, to bring up the dancing thing; i also agree. his parents probably threw all of them in like cotillion when they were preteens. like u know those like 6-week long ballroom dancing classes that take place like every wednesday night or something… (am i embarrassing myself by knowing too much abt this?)

yeah. he did one of those. and the fact that the knowledge stuck with him for so long says something. but it’s not one of those things he’d just tell you, it’s something you’d find out on your own.

let’s say you’re a fairly new couple, but you still haven’t met each others parents / family yet and stuff. so he’s spending time with you one day, cooking u dinner (as per usual) and he just drops the bomb like, “my sisters wedding is in a few weeks. i was wondering if you’d be my plus one?”

obviously you said yes because…well…it’s also an excuse to get away from work for a weekend and spend time with your boyfriend.

but also it hit u that ur gonna be meeting his fucking family then, too😭😭

ANYWAYS the weekend finally comes, he’s dressed in a cute little suit, got a nice little haircut for his sisters wedding & he’s looking very handsome. he gets to see you all dressed up too, and he’s just a smiling mess the entire weekend because it’s such a special day and he’s a sentimental guy. he definitely dropped a few tears during the ceremony & omfg i’m getting so off track LMFAO

so when the time comes where the bride and groom get to have their first dance, your nerves have calmed significantly because you’ve already met his family, all is well and now you’re both happily watching the newly weds. (he’s definitely not thinking about being in this scenario with u, no. not at all.)

now everyone gets to come in, so ever the gentleman he is that was raised right, he asks you for a dance.

it’s only then when you realized you’ve never actually seen harvey dance, so when he takes your hand and delicately holds onto your waist, guiding you—it’s baffling. you’d expect the anxious man u know and love to be a little uncoordinated & nervous. but no. here he is making u look like a FOOL.

“i didn’t know you could waltz,” you whisper, adding a little laugh.

“i didn’t know you couldn’t waltz.” he teases, smiling at your look of shock. he easily guides you through the dance. no he doesn’t dip you or anything because who is he to steal the light from his sister, and also that’s so excessive 😭

but towards the end he pulls you in for a short kiss, just long enough to get the message across that he’s happy you’re the one he danced with.

like he’s trying to tell you ur the only one he wants to dance the rest of his dances with.

[svtminji]

❪ 🎐 ❫ RELATIONSHIP WITH

seungcheol, jeonghan, joshua

seungcheol & minji -> cheolmi

popularity rating: 95%

type of relationship: old friends

as the oldest two members in seventeen and leader and co-leader, they have a huge responsibility on their shoulders in their everyday life. in the co-ed group, seungcheol and minji both take on the "parental" roles in the group. need options or advice? go to them. seungcheol, being six days older than her, believes that minji shouldn't put to much pressure on that "pretty face" and "pretty body" of hers. 100% her simp in everything she does. she needs new clothing? he's buying it for her. she looked at expensive shoes for 0.0001 seconds? he bought them for her. she's ordering food? she can put it on his card. to anyone who isn't stanning seventeen, people would've thought he was her sugar daddy or husband at that point.

though every single relationship has it ups and downs, platonic or not. even if it was a single mistake or a huge mistake, they get into arguments that lead to minji out of the room and drive to her private apartment. days or weeks can pass without a single dialogue passed forward between them and it would take the members to force them to work it out; the members don't want their towers of support crashing down on each other. after a few moments of silence between seungcheol and minji, she would eventually burst into tears and hugs would be exchanged between them, whispering apologies. being held to the responsibilities with many members to take care of, it's no doubt they've leaned on each other in moments of despair and pain.

occurring moments between them include: sitting together, a protective hand on the knee / thigh / waist, not having to lift a finger because he'll do it, drinking out together, and special dinners at high expensive restaurants.

a song that represents them: cuff it - beyonce

jeonghan & minji -> jeongmi

popularity rating: 101%

type of relationship: old-married couple

ever since minji entered the green room and introduced herself, he couldn't help but feel that she was going to be stuck up as she had transferred from a higher agency. but he later came to find out that she wasn't and she never used that towards her advantage. though people claim that jeonghan might be the better fit as the parental figure of the group alongside coups, minji doesn't mind sharing that role with him as all moms do need a break. before she introduced her birthdate, jeonghan believed that she had to be younger than him and kept pushing her to call him "oppa" when she referred to him. minji, confused by this as a foreigner and that she was older than him, eventually asked for his birthday and jeonghan soon came to realize how wrong he really was. embarrassment was written all over his face in that moment, but they later laugh it off in the following days.

throughout the years, minji and jeonghan have always supported each other and are each other’s number one priority. due to that, they’ve had intimate moments and jeonghan became minji’s first everything. these two had a cute friendship throughout the years minji was dating other people, but jeonghan couldn’t stop himself from feeling jealousy. he would go to the rest of the members ranting to them about his love problems. when minji would later break up with her ex-partners, the pair would go back to normal. the female member would realize the perfect person in front of her.

100% trouble makers along with joshua, and seem to almost break seungcheol's limit. they prank the other members with absurd plans and some how none of them decide to separate them from each other. though jokes aside, when minji is more emotional than ever, jeonghan is the best person to go to. jeonghan is often referred to the "emotional support hyung" and minji is first in line to receive comfort. but even jeonghan has his moments, and minji is thought of first when he looks for reassurance.

occurring moments between them include: giggling 25/8, building lego sets + buying lego sets, their trips to paris, tormenting seungcheol, baking cakes, secret visits to her house, romantic getaways, talking to eachother in japanese, minji supporting cheating ❪ in games ❫ jeonghan, braiding each other’s hair, and decorating / putting stickers on their hair.

a song that represents them: at your best (you are loved) - aaliyah

joshua & minji -> joji

popularity rating: 95%

type of relationship: childhood friends

california hot guy & california hot girl. the LA duo.. the CALI duo.. these two are peas in a pod. when minji revealed that she lived in california, specifically los angeles, joshua couldn't help but be excited for another english speaker in the group and a person from home. to make matters more exciting, when they went to LA for their USA Tour, minji's mother literally screamed at the sight of joshua and went to immediately call his mother. turns out minji's mother and shua's mother knew each other as they were old friends during their high school years. the news only brought the two even more closer

they speak in english almost all the time and shua manages to throw in a bit of spanish from his high school requirement to take a foreign language. this only brought damage to minji's korean as she struggles a bit more with the language due to shua & vernon. both of them are huge prankers along with jeonghan and no one really knows how the three introverts of the 95 line managed to create chaos.

occurring moments between them include: talking in english, create chaos then leave as nothing happen, playing uno then raging when +4 comes out, deep talks, bracelet making

a song that represents them: see you again - tyler the creator (ft. kali uchis)

[sol-arise0]

I WILL WRITE TO ALL CUSTOMERS MYSELF WITHIN A WEEK.

(With a detailed text of what happened to me and what we will do next...)

Thank you in advance, if you can read this to the end, there will be a lot of letters about my feelings that I have always held back. But I no longer have the strength to remain silent.

Now there will be a long post about why for more than a year I behaved badly on social networks, practically not posting art. Some of my subscribers have probably seen posts that I had to have two operations (one was on my stomach in 2022, the second on my eye in 2023, and unfortunately both times fell in February, on the eve of my birthday) Now, looking at the past, I understand that this there were the clearest hints that I was mentally ill back then. Because the doctors in both cases said that the reason could be stress, which caused an exacerbation. But it just so happens that I live in a family where we BASICALLY DON'T TALK ABOUT OUR PROBLEMS, essentially downplaying that, wow, it turns out it can be bad mentally, not just physically?

In addition, I am the daughter of my father, whom my whole family sincerely despises for leaving my mother with debts so HUGE that she has been paying them off for 20+ years. I think you understand why my mother feels negative emotions towards me, putting pressure on me, trying to change me. Unfortunately, I now realize that she didn't do any better. For this reason, in the late spring of 2023, I moved into my sister's apartment, during her absence, to keep an eye on it. And feeling that no one is pushing you, how you talk, walk, sleep, eat, that you don't have a boyfriend, you look terrible and other things - it was easier for me. So it turned out that when my sister returned from vacation, I asked her to stay for another while. And well, in short, it was both a good and a terrible time.

In a nutshell, I was working through my problems, and the second dragged myself to the bottom. Of course, because I expected🥹👍 that I would take up painting seriously, working for money🤌, no one would touch me, (I was always a "housewife" in the family house, because we could not hire special people, so to help my mother, I did all the work around the house, garden, and even I helped with the documentation, although I am very inattentive.)

Living with my sister, I realized that all my expectations would crack against mine... Apathy? I don't know what to call this period, but I was just basically a vegetable. I didn't want anything. I got into debt because of this, I couldn't get a job, and drawing made my hands tremble because I had commission that I couldn't finish. And so it turned out to be an endless circle of lack of money and despair - I couldn't finish art cmm, so I couldn't take new ones out of shame, I couldn't get a job, because I didn't even have the strength to go out for a walk. So it turned out that every day I ate kefir with a little bread, because I saved my expenses up to 2.5-3 dollars a day.

Seriously, if my sister hadn't fed me from time to time, I would have gone back AGAIN to the hospital. I understood that everything was going wrong, that it was abnormal, why it turned out that I was so weak, incapable, and more.

And so, we come to the end of the story. I returned to my parents' house because we had earthquakes from winter to mid-spring, and living on the 12th floor you only think about a quick death.:"") I'm going through this mini home hell again, because it's even more fun! My stepfather and mother converted to Islam. Completely. And you probably know that painting, music, open clothes and other things are considered forbidden/sin there. Well, if I used to be neutral about religion, now I'm really AFRAID of it. That one day I will still get caught on gayshit, which drawings I am working on, and I will be beaten like poor girls in Islamic countries. What adds a spark to the situation is that they know what I'm roughly called on social networks (also my older sister, with whom I have smtm conflicts, again fuckin religion!!, SHE IS SUBSCRIBED TO MY INSTA, AND I CAN'T DELETE HER BECAUSE SHE'S A FOOL HAS SEVERAL ACCOUNTS THAT I DON'T KNOW ABOUT) so I think in the near future either to move accounts (insta).

In short, I'm just tired of hating everything and everyone, crying and getting angry, constantly holding back emotions so as not to conflict with my family. Because I know what the hell we've all been through together, that's why I've put up with everything before. And it did me harm, because my creative nature is ready to die from my fears, pain, mood swings and constant pressure. Against this background, I asked a friend to give me a discount so that I could make an appointment with a psychologist at least once (I'm still terribly ashamed, but I hope in the future I'll pay for everything) And she was told that there is a damn suspicion of ADHD!!!! But to prove it, i need to go to a therapist, and this is tantamount to being branded crazy... after all, there are no mental problems unless you have schizophrenia.👍

That's why I'm writing this post. I am sad that I wake up every day thinking that it would be nice to die, and other apathetic thoughts. Now I have to decide to close it all. All debts to customers, all debts to myself, because I know that I am an unloved daughter who knows how to love everyone except herself. Because now, I know that damn it, yes I, yes I'm not talented like my siblings and peers, but I'm good in my own way. It's a shame that it took me more than 10 years of my life and a year of starvation and despair as an insolvent person to understand that I need to mentally support myself, and not shoot myself in the foot with all these nagging and discontent.

That's why I share my plan with the world, because I know that I need support, help, and that it's not a shame to talk about myself and my problems.

- First, i will close my $2,000 debt.

- The second is to set aside at least $1,000 for a deposit for future housing.

- The third and most important thing is to release a project called "ResinRays". This is a large-scale world that was born a long time ago, but was resurrected thanks to a friend who supported me.

Overall, thanks to all my friends, if they didn't tolerate my tantrums, then maybe... I wouldn't write this now. That's why I love them!! 🥹🙏😭💖💖💖

If you have read up to this point, then thank you very much for that!!! It's damn important for me to know that there are those who are willing to at least support me like that! I will be glad to establish contacts and draw again, because let the AI assholes go who think they will kill the creative potential of artists!