#parasite alterhumans

[melabea]

Parasite Alterhuman Flag

[pt: Parasite Alterhuman Flag /end pt]

[id: a rectangular flag with 7 horizontal lines. sizes in this order from top to bottom: thick, medium, thick, medium, thick, medium, thick. colors in this order from top to bottom: black-brown, dull brown, light brown, pale yellow, light green, green, dark green. in the center of the flag is a black-brown-to-dark green symbol outlined with pale yellow. the symbol is the alt key alterhuman symbol. /end id]

[id: a rectangular flag with 7 horizontal lines. sizes in this order from top to bottom: thick, medium, thick, medium, thick, medium, thick. colors in this order from top to bottom: black-brown, dull brown, light brown, pale yellow, light green, green, dark green. in the center of the flag is a black-brown-to-dark green symbol outlined with pale yellow. the symbol is the nonhuman symbol, a circle outline with a diamond outline inside of it, with a smaller circle with a small line coming out of the top and bottom, as well as a small dot inside of that. /end id]

Parasite Alterhuman & Nonhuman Flags

etymology; parasite, alterhuman/nonhuman

for cam!

tagging; @radiomogai, @thecoffeecrew404

[id: a green ivy plant wavy line divider. end id]

[revenant-coining]

Transspecies Parasite

[PT: Transspecies Parasite /End PT]

[ID: a rectangular flag with 7 horizontal lines. sizes in this order from top to bottom: thick, medium, thick, medium, thick, medium, thick. colors in this order from top to bottom: dark red, grey-red, green, light green, green, grey-red, dark red. in the center of the flag is a light green circle outlined in dark red. in the center of the circle is a dark red transspecies symbol, a ring, a four-pointed star styled akin to a paper star, and a smaller four-pointed star. End ID.]

for cam

(Personal) Transspecies Parasite Flag

@radiomogai

[stench-core]

maybe one day i'll actually talk about how i'm not a person and try to actually describe what i look like but until then you can all wonder in amazement

[brightside-brigade]

uhhhh join my hive. /nf. (You don't need to be kin or fictive)

[atomicc]

furari mens

[fallingsatellive]

Hi this is a positivity post regarding alterhuman diet dysphoria versus actual biology

(unless you already know these things)

To herbivore nonhumans who don't want to/can't do a vegan or vegetarian diet but feel dysphoric about being able to digest meat:

Herbivorous animals are not unable to digest meat.

Animal matter is actually easier for a body to process than plant matter, and herbivorous species need very complex digestive systems in order to support their lifestyles. This is why cows have four stomachs; why horses practically go into critical system failure if they get even a little bit sick. Animals that live mostly by grazing actually still do need nutrients that carnivores and omnivores get through their natural diets, which is why farming supply stores sell salt licks for animals. In the wild herbivores will quite often find ways to sneak some meat into their diets by eating bugs or small vertebrates, if you didn't already know about the fun fact of deer eating baby birds. "Obligate herbivore" meaning an animal that can ONLY physically digest plants is not a real ecological term the way "obligate carnivore" meaning animal that can ONLY physically digest meat is, though you might see it in other usages (i.e., referring to an animal that relies on a plant-based diet for all of its nutrients).

If a wild deer was given access to human society, they would probably not opt for veganism for connection with their true species; they would more likely appreciate having a way to get sodium so easily. This isn't to shame anyone who does choose a vegan/vegetarian diet for species euphoria reasons, but more to reassure folks who can't, you aren't less of an herbivore.

To carnivore nonhumans who feel dysphoric that their body can't digest raw meat like wild carnivores can:

It can!

The reason you don't want to be eating raw meat like a wolf or stoat or monitor lizard is because you will get sick or you will contract a parasite, which might sound like just a different reason to feel disconnected from your species, but here's the main two things:

1. The actuality is that wild wolves and stoats and monitor lizards DO get sick and contract parasites. This is often how wolves and stoats and monitor lizards die in the wild and why ones in captivity, being fed parasite-free meat and having illnesses treated, live longer. There are raw meats you can eat safely, you just have to know where they're sourced from and that they're guaranteed not to have risks! That's why sushi is a thing, and why people say you can technically eat raw cut (not ground) beef but not pork or chicken. Cooked meat is also often tastier and easier for the body to process (cit.: Grug et al. 780,000 BCE) so that's why humans have loved their medium-well steak since they came up with it. And 2. wild predators are "able to eat raw meat" mostly because they killed it, so it's fresh and hasn't been sitting around able to pick up bacteria, the way raw meat you get at a grocery store would have. This is why a lot of prey animals have a "play dead" defense mechanism: most predators do not want to eat something that's already dead, because it might get them sick.

If a wild owl was given access to human society, they would probably not desire only the rawest of meats for connection with their true species; they would more likely appreciate having access to food that had all the pathogens cleaned and/or scorched out of it.

[jawsofjuno]

A bio of sorts ->

Juno. Demi-pan. She/her. Thirty

Horror enthusiast. Writer. Mustelid alterhuman.

I love monsters, gore, bugs, pathogens, parasites, abandoned places, & science. This blog focuses on these things, as well as inspiration for & content of my writing.

There will be occasional nsfw on here, mostly monsterfucking and my own suggestive/lewd posts, so NO MINORS.

I try to tag everything properly.

Other socials ->

@woodlandweasel: strictly alterhuman & nature blog.

@toxiquewaste: green & yellow sideblog, similar aesthetic as this one.

Bluesky | Instagram: woodlandweasel [link won't work]

Snippets ->

No Love | Hatred |

Chapters for Malignant [horror/scifi/romance] ->

Re-writing (w.i.p)

[birdbrain-npts]

The Corruption [TMA] ID Pack

Pt: The Corruption [TMA] ID Pack /end pt

Names: Amherst, Bug, Carnage, Carnegie, Corr, Corrupt, Corruption, Decay, Filth, Fly, Goodman, Gordon, Hive, Hodge, Jane, John, Jordan, Kennedy, Leto, Mag, Margaret, Mildew, Mold, Mould, Musca, Para, Parasite, Prentiss, Rot, Saleté, Self, Squiggle, Squirm, Tim, Timothy, Toxic, Wiggle, Worm

Pronouns: bug/bugs, corr/corrupt, corrupt/corrupts, corruption/corruptions, damp/damps, dirt/dirts, filth/filths, infect/infects, infest/infests, infestation/infestations, mag/maggot, maggot/maggots, mildew/mildews, mold/molds, mould/moulds, mud/muds, parasite/parasites, squirm/squirms, toxic/toxics, writhe/writhes, 🐛/🐛s, 🦟/🦟s, 🦠/🦠s, 💉/💉s, 💊/💊s

Titles: avatar of the Corruption, humanity's filth, prn who is cursed / blessed by the Corruption, prn who is filled with maggots / parasites, prn who is infested, prn who is loved by parasites, prn who is marked / marred by rot, prn who lives in an infested house, prn who lives in the sickly village, prn who owns the [ sickly ] syringe, prn who owns the infested scalpel, prn who paints doors, prn who read / owns the journal of the plague year, prn who read / owns the tale of a field hospital, prn who wears a white coat, prn with a door painted white, the corruption's influence, the forever sick / infested

Genders: Zoochosic, Sillycorruption, Tma0161203sweetartsgender, Ashsweetcorruptiongender, Coincorrupt, Requecorrupt, Flagmacorrupt, Archicorrupt, Belicorruption, Janeprentissbait, Corruptionbait, Syparastic, Tmacorrupthunter, Parastica, Corruptionangel, Corruptiondemon, Thecorruptionfem, Thecorruptionmasc, Insectfest, Sickbodiment, Avacorruption

Other ids: Dissocorruptava, Avatar of the Corruption Occuden, Infected Alterhuman, Corruptionipsese, Avatar of the Corruption, Corruption 4 Corruption, Filthvesil, Moldroleic, Filthroleic

Text in bold is: Name, Pronouns, Titles, Genders, and Other ids respectively

All term names are links

Tagging @id-pack-archive and @radiomogai

[lyman-garfiel]

Hi.,,,,,,,,, if you,,are reading this it means you have located me on the internet. lets talk about that

general information under cut =)

🍈🪲About me!!🪲🍈

🦎you are allowed to refer to me as lymantria..because that is my name, variations on the name are allowed as well as its a fuckass long name, i prefer lyman the most but tria/lyme/ly/mantria and whatever are fine too =) i also have a special secret name you unlock at clown level 50!! 🦎I am genderfluid and abro, do not expect any of my idenity to make sence to you as it doesn't make sence to me eather!! for simplicity, my pronouns are he/it, and i use masc terms until i don't!!

🦎i am 19!! i concider my blog sfw as i do not post enis cock titty boob balls here, though i will hornypost and generally be a menace. for that reason i'd like to say i'd prefer my followers to be 16+ at the very least 🦎i,,,have a lot of interests, biggest ones being valve games MOST IMPORTANTLY PORTAL I FUCKING L-, beastars, rtvs, christain borle insects..mostly parasitic wasps i love them.., dan and phil, mlp [all gens], wof, christain borle, animatronics and uh,,the personal lives of my cats..

🦎my speech patterns tend to be weird, i don't know why my brain works like this,,,,,you get used to it the longer you consume lymanisms..,,,,,,also i idenitify as alterhuman in the direction of lizard!

🍈🦎DNI!!!!!!!🦎🍈

💎 queer discource/flag discourse mfs.. if you have "mspec lesbians dni" in your bio i think you are annoying, doing more harm than good to the queer community and i do not like you. if somebody's sexuality is out of the status quo and they're attracted to something that can give consent. i do not give a fuck and neither should you.

💎proshippers!! i'm sorry i do think fiction affects reality and we should not justify pairing abusive/straight up illegal pairings because it helps you "cope" or whatever. cope in private. 💎 general dni material!! if you're racist/homophobic/transphobic/a fucking zionist/ableist/zoo/pedo i do not want you here. 💎 arturo giles. you can like him, you can post about him. but arturo himself, get OFF my blog

🪲🍈MYY F/O'S!!🍈🪲

💎Scarab <3<3💎

🪲scarab is my princess with a disorder and i love her very much, we go to anger management classes together and get olive garden pasta after <33 🪲gonna be honest here, prohibitedwish is a HUGE HUGE discomfort for me.. to the point it has caused some pretty bad mental health crises for me in the past, do not mention it to me do not engage me in it whatsoever. i have the tags blocked so don't feel guilty for following me and posting about it as i prommy i won't see it, if its your jam more power to you !! but my brain is an asshole to live with and i cannot tolerate it. that being said i'm also pretty selective on sharring this guy, though i think i'm finally easing up on it? if i follow you, you're not a problem 2 me and i think you're based <3

🪲anyways,,,shoutout 2 scaraman, what got me involved with the mess of the selfship community <3

🐝JEWEL!!🐝

🐝jewel is an oc that accidentally became stuck in my brain and now i have feelings for her,,,,,,,fuck. 🐝i concider her to be in a poly with lyman and scarab, they are fucked up and evil together <33 🐝 due to her status as an oc i don't want..anybody to selfship with her since 100% of her information exists in my head alone not that i think anypony would, regardless i love her so much

🍈....melon🍈

🍈 look i don't......i don't know whats wrong with me or why i'm brainrotting over him so much latley, its like a sickness that won't stop..i KNOW he's a freak 🍈 edit: OH I HAVE LORE.......I SO HAVE LORE NOW,,,,,,,,OH THIS IS TOXIC SHIT ask me. about. it. 🍈i am aware he's a sucky sucky guy with a lot of issues and that i cannot fix him, however we are going to dave and busters next weekend and he said i can teach him the friday night funkin lore 🍈given he's a newer f/o i don't feel comfortable sharring..if you ARE a fellow melon selfshipper though please dm me, i need somebody else who has this guy rotated in their brain to have a discuss his fucked up psychology with

🍈,,,,,i need to draw less fluffy stuff and more fucked up and evil shit regarding beastars au lyman......it will happen..give it time

...senpai.

he's not even a romantic f/o i just hate him so much i made a whole blog dedicated to how much i fucking hate him @nemisisofsenpai my....nemisis f/o..ok with sharing..PLEASE take him i don't want him

🦎end.🦎

thank you for reading,,,,enjoy your average deranged post

[daybringersol]

Hey ! I’m Sol, Juno, Chip or Art, whichever you prefer, and you can use he/him, eon/eons, myr/myrrh, hy/hymn, it/its and masculine terms for me. I’m a paradox, I don’t abide to labels and stuff like that, not in the way that I don’t use them, more in the way that I just go with what feels right in the moment, without forcing myself to stay static. Right now, I’m an anarchaqueer, biaro man, but I’m fluid, so don’t get attached too much ! I’m also alterhuman, more precisely constelic [link], and at the moment, I stel the sun, godhood and Lucifer.

more pronoun options [link]

read CROSSTALK [link]

Working towards being an editor professionally, so open to beta for fics or other stories, just DM me !

Fallout (Video Game Franchise) - PJO : Percy Jackson & the Olympians (Book Series) - Mouthwashing (Video Game) - TPP : The Penumbra Podcast (Fiction Podcast) - Sally Face (Video Game) - JRWI : Just Roll With It (Table-top Roleplaying Game Podcast) - I Am In Eskew (Fiction Podcast)

I’m currently trying to cut back on political commentary on here, both in reblogs or in my own posts, because it triggers my moral OCD. Please note that you cannot extrapolate how much activism someone partakes in based on their tumblr activity.

I’m for the liberation of Palestine, against antitransmasculinity (as not being so would betray my own life experiences), for the independence of Québec, against antisemitism, for a kind of aspec solidarity that includes non-aroace aspecs and respects the differences in our experiences, against the police & the current psychiatric system, for the destigmatization of kinks, fetishes & ‘scary’ mental disorders, against exclusionism & label policing in the queer community, for the exploration of complex topics in fiction (including in ‘lowbrow’ medias like fanfiction), against both gender & sex essentialism & binaries, for LandBack, against the criminalisation of (all) drugs & sex work, and passionate about much more topics than those included in this short list. I believe that morality is not determined by your thoughts but by your actions, and that what kind of bigotry you’re affected by is not determined by your identity but by how & if it is perceived. If you’re planning on harassing me about any of these beliefs, I’d recommend simply blocking me instead, as I will not answer any questions I don’t believe to be asked in good faith.

I’m 21 so keep that in mind. There should be little NSFW stuff on here, pretty much only artistic nudity & jokes.

Please note that I do have a separate (appropriately tagged) NSFW account, and that if you go looking for it, it’s your fault for seeing things you don’t want to see. Bringing here what I post to that account, or ‘exposing’ it to others with the goal to judge or mock me is sexual harassment. There’s a reason those accounts are separate.

I’m fully fine with (appropriately tagged) NSFW topics being explored in fandom, including JRWI (as those same things are explored in the source material). I believe the council’s boundaries are to not do RPF and to not show them porn of their characters. Feel free to block me if that makes you uncomfortable.

I’m not going to tag every time I talk about my own experiences with abuse, addiction, SA, C-PTSD, pure O (internal OCD, in my case moral), P-DID and stuff like that, so feel free to block if that’s something that could trigger you. I don’t talk about it often though, and will tag it if it’s too graphic.

I am the host of a system, this account should be mine & mine only but we’ll see. The way I see my plurality is not the generally agreed upon way in the plural community (e.g. I am my body; the others are at best symbiotes, at worst parasites), so don’t think I represent anyone else but myself. Don’t ask me to have an opinion on endogenic systems, I don’t care.

If you tag me in stuff where you have to tag your friends and then they tag their friends, I enjoy and appreciate it, but I most likely won’t tag other people cuz it makes me anxious !

I usually do PTs, IDs and/or alt text on my flags and userboxes but I don’t always have the energy that requires of me, so sorry about that.

Flags can be used on tumblr without credits, and userboxes can be used without credits as long as you reblog the post, but please don't repost the rest of my art (paintings, drawings, sketches, poetry, music, ect.) without credits. If you repost my flags on other website or put them on wikis, I would very much prefer to be credited (at least a link).

[rainbowlemonslices]

✮🛸intro🪐✮

mutuals please filter tag posts about and relating to the election with #tagging for goops

if you would like to avoid our posts about our non positive feelings towards winter/prewinter and holidays such as thanksgiving, new year’s day, and possibly christmas, christmas eve, and new year’s eve, please block/filter the tag ‘#goops seasonal moping’

we don’t use code names anymore because none of us gaf lmao. we have dsmp fictives so if you don’t like that then leave. also we swear. a lot

we’re a endo system who has been on tumblr for a little bit and are redoing certain aspects of our blog to be a bit more accurate! many of us are nonhuman in the headspace in one way or another (kin, holothere, etc). in addition to this, we’re all collectively a goop dog alien who also has parasites, or as we call them, “bugs”! we are physically goop, but are usually in a human form as it takes too much effort to intentionally shift so might as well stay in disguise. we are also able to rarely shift into other creatures, such as a jerboa, but we usually stay human or sometimes our true body. originally we were nervous about bringing up the whole physically nonhuman thing, but with the recent in holothere content, we decided to go ahead and show that part of ourselves to tumblr. also, we mostly use the color purple, despite the rainbow username so yeah.

dni/byi

filter tags

goopsona refenerce image

✮🛸basic info🪐✮

~ our name is goop (collective identity) or lemons (tumblr system name)!

~ collectively maverique!

~ collectively we currently use they/them (in a plural sense), it/its, and be/bim/bis/bimself!

~ we use the label holothere usually, but don’t rlly care much abt or mind labels

~ we’re probably neurodivergent so keep that in mind!

~ some of us are adults, while others are not (the body is a minor tho so don’t be weird and shit)

~ endo system (no syscourse, most of us hate discourse and all that stuff)

~ we’re still learning abt the whole parasitical bugs thing, and will add more abt that whenever we find stuff out

~ plz interact u you want, we like to try and meet new people even tho we’re bad at social stuff! (rbs, asks, comments are much appreciated!)

~ we mostly post nonhuman and alterhuman stuff, so except to see that kind of thing on this blog as we get better at writing (we struggle with writing so we’ll see how much improving actually happens lol)

~ the purple goopy alien dog designs is a more online sona version of what we look like, which was designed by a friend!

✮🛸headmates list🪐✮

codename+emoji (pronouns//non-human?//kin type//other)

~ tommy (moots and headmates can call me toms/tom)🌹(he/fae/she//existence related to tommyinnit in some way but we don’t know for sure the details//red panda and bird hybrid//polar bearkin//minor)

~ nick or nikki 🏵️(he/she//piplup and vampire//huskykin//age regressor?)

~ yellow 🍋(alien//whalekin and monkeykin//dsmp ponk but doesn’t rlly like talking abt it)

~ phil 🍃(he/him//part crow//shockingly philza,idk where he’s been tho)

~ cyan (can also call pup) 🦋(kinda dogkin but it’s complicated, hawkkin, arctic foxkin, sockeye salmonkin//minor)

~ ranboo 🫐(he/him//some kind of creature//ranboo fictive but dunno where he’s been)

~ sodalite/soda 🌀(dragon//uses translations form other alters)

~ purple(d)/finn/cosmo (moots and headmates can call me purp)🪻(ey/em/eirs/emself and he/him//dsmp purpled fictive, don’t like me? fuck off then because i like me//alien, rabbit, and jerboa (complicated)//rabbitkin, duckkin, agoutikin, maybe something else but idk)

~ iris ☂️ (they/them//alien//polecat therian//minor//age regressor)

~ pink 🌸(he/him//pig//technoblade fictive but doesn’t rlly care if you call him that or not)

~ crimson 🧣(he/him//demon dog)

~ frost ❄️ (any pronouns, including neos//bug alien//questioning sea turtle kin)

~ taffy 🎀 (any//angel)

~ lime 🍊(any of he/she/they/it//lion)

~ ube 🪁 (he/him, sometimes they, never she//eevee//luigi fictionkin(i think)//age regressor//i’m not the brightest or best at communicating sorry//trans in a kinda confusing way??? [complicated but i feel the need to specify as it is very important to me specifically])

~ forest 🐊 (he/it, maybe other but dunno//crocodilian or gator thing//maybe agre?//it types like this a lot so be patient with it)

~ ace🌙 (he/him//demon//please read his filter tag list)

~ littles 🌤️ (anonymous)

[scp--4231b]

» [A House in Nebraska] «

0:00 ─〇───── 7:47 ⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻

Francis/-B . It/He/Fawn/Rot . Adult . Unlabeled fallow deer and parasite alterhuman . scp fictive . part time corpse

tags

.Ritualsposting : Source related stuff

.Deerposting : identity related stuff

.Scumbag fuck but I swear that she’s not : ritualsposting but gross

i dont have a dni just dont be a dick

[alterhuman-resources]

☆━━━━━━☆━━━━━━☆━━━━━━☆

theses/analyses in progress ! [0/20]

☆━━━━━━☆━━━━━━☆━━━━━━☆

🔶[(inter-universe)teleportation methods (found across the wider multiverse) and their magic consumption]

🔷[the different types of shapeshifters]

🔶[different soul types and their relation to magic]

🔷[how magic levels of realities/universes affect soul expression and magic usage!]

🔶[term definition: what's the difference between dimensions, universes, multiverses and realities?] [parallel universes, adjacent universes, outer-reality universes, etc] [thinking in more than four dimensions]

🔷[analysis of different types of voids and void-type pocket dimensions]

🔶[fiction and reality : are the two connected? are the two connected the ways we assume they are?] [• am I in a visual novel or a four dimensional reality and how both can be true] [• further analysis on plurality and how it's linked with multiversal bridging]

🔷[biological and social analysis of parasites, fighting bad representation and de-vilifying them]

🔶[multiversal travel: •multiversal/inter-dimensional portals, different types, their known effects and properties; •dimensional shifting]

🔷[categorifying and analysing diets, from physical to metaphysical] [how entity diets aren't inherently "evil"] [from plants to animals to entities and others]

🔶[multiversal travel and it's known effects on memory]

🔷[universe-to-universe and reality-to-reality travel. differences and analysis]

🔶[the study of the theoretical science of the fourth dimension (time)] [its composition, debunking/analysing/validating theories based on this world's science, expanded by alter-researches]

🔷[introducing the term of an anchor universe, it's implications and definitions relating a multi-multiverse model]

🔶[magic and how it can be found and behave in different universes]

🔷[soul based[or sourced] magic/holder based magic, vs universe based magic]

🔶[comparaison and analysis of rune based magic and core magic(+elemental variants analysis)]

🔷[doubles and multiversal variants; applied to entities]

🔶[liquid corruptions : how visually very similar things can be almost opposite to one another]

🔷[the alterhuman umbrella : term analysis, definitions, and history (taken from wikis or people's experiences(found online, notably tumblr))] ❗In progress❗

☆━━━━━━☆━━━━━━☆━━━━━━☆

⚠ if reblogging please remember to refer to the original post, as very often posts might be updated with new information.

update log : [06/01/24; update log; bottom indented]

[growling]

Soooo while I was gone and practicing self care with cheating in minceraft, attempting to domesticate my 7 evil alterhuman awakenings and watching my little medias (and failing miserably by occasionally checking some tumble blogs from my burner and getting exposed to the most radioactive levels of transandrophobia ive ever seen but whatever), one of which included Nimona (twas good), I also happened to get into something I was curious (also the thing gorge the monkey was) about from a little while............. none other than the internet infamous Hazbin Hotel *creepy lightning accentuates my words and horror music starts playing, the audience gasps and shits themselves in shock*

Initially I wasn't interested at like, at all in whatever the series was, same with helluva boss or something something vivziepop brand youtube sparkledog show. Not for any particular reason I just don't tend to watch pilots of series that may not even start you know. I don't know when the actual first season got picked up by a studio and finished precisely but somewhere recently I think? Anyway, everybody and their mom absolutely hated it from the start. You cannot escape the sheer amount of negative attention wasbeen motel gathered, it became the net's biggest punching bag like, right after steven universe whatever you do you can never top the steven universe hate i dare you to find a campaign more unhinged that whatever went on in the 2018s-or-so. And something always seemed..... Off?? About the criticisms I've been seeing on this series. Like it's just "it's BADDDD *spooky music starts playing* Vivziepop draaaamaaaaa.... *jumpscare*" or complaints about Poison being insensitive towards sa victims or whatever. I'll be clear I do NOT trust extreme HH haters for the most part, they give off huge anti-su folk vibes. But after seeing like, a multitude of hazbin/vivziepop related posts on mutual catgirl-catboy's (hey :7) blog, mainly about the Poison part? Well let's jus say I got intrigued said "fuck that, I'm already a warrior cat fan what's more bad media gonna harm me anymore", pirated it because I wanna continue my epic grind of never paying for anything in my life still, and....

(Now I do not know who this Vivienne Medrano entity is nor do I care to know. Everything I have heard about her was fucking unhinged for a vast spectrum of reasons and completely against my will. I will not be getting into the Vivziepop discourse iceberg I do not know this woman do not drag me into this I'm BEGGING you)

.... It's. It's literally just a show. Sgsgjjesxhadj??? Like it's not a masterpiece, it's rushed as hell (heh) but that's just what happens when you get entire 8 episodes to work with for the whole first season, but it's not like... Bad? It didn't kill my grandma or anything. It's just a show guys.... It's just some silly series........ It was honestly pretty enjoyable, I thought It was good, like, I think it's gonna rotate in my mind like a rotisserie chicken for a WHILE. Really scratched The Itch it's been lodged in my brain like a parasite lately please help me. Mainly because of the fucking songs even if the plot is a bit ueh hih uuh, soundtrack delivered. Hazbin soundtrack save me. Save me Hazbin soundtrack. Cannot go a second in my day while some song aint always playing in the back of my mind. Yeah I'm a hasbeen fan now this is my hell show enthusiast coming out post..... Anybody here want to talk about it any followers/mutuals up to sophiscated discussions about hazbin. Anybody want to ask me about how why transmasc Alastor would actually make sense AND slay I've thought about this very thoughtfully actually in my thoughts

[malwaregirl]

hi im emmie/mimic/bug/arcade/neon. more names to be added. im collecting them. i use it/its or any pronouns. im an ageless & nonhuman member of an adult multiple system. this is my personal & aesthetic blog. i put anything i want here & i love attention

i am a computer virus & artificial intelligence & shapeshifter & body stealing parasite ^_^ i don’t have a DNI but i love the block button. aside from aes spamming this blog largely exists for me to talk about:

alterhumanity/nonhuman stuff

mad liberation/mad pride/sanism/psych industry stuff

trauma/ptsd

things i like :)

i will not elaborate on the “origins” of my system. i <3 every kind of plural. i’m also largely anti-psychiatry. you can block me about it if you’re mad or come into my inbox and get made fun of. up to you!

[multiverse-sya]

I don't feel like I belong anywhere, either, as the only one of my species here. My phantom shifts are incredibly weird and all over the place. Though I also feel like my spirit is almost parasitic to the body because of how much it feels like I don't fit its physical appearance at all. Sometimes, it feels like I stole this body from someone else even though I've been present in this body since the beginning. And also, I think that my reasons for being nonhuman is also a weird mix of everything, including metaphysical as in the field of philosophy. It's a state of being totally inhuman for me, and it's used in how I make sense of the world and my beliefs.

I think that from what my experiences taught me, it's that if you keep looking for reasons and ways you are different and just focus on that, you overlook the similarities there are with other alterhumans. No one is completely identical to anyone else.

Fitting In - or The Lack Thereof (A Stream of Consciousness Essay?)

I often think about my place under the label of therianthropy and the way I often feel like I still don't quite fit in. It's odd - I can blame that feeling on a lot of things, but none of them seem to give the full story behind it.

Maybe I don't fit in because I'm an adult, and so many therian spaces are filled with kids. There's definitely some truth to that, but then I go into therian spaces with solely adults and I still feel like I don't quite fit in.

Maybe I don't fit in because I don't experience the act of shifting between a more human and a more animal state, and so much of the therian experience seems to be focussed on what it's like to shift. And there's some truth to that too, but there are plenty of therians who don't shift at all, and I still feel like I don't quite fit in with them either.

Maybe I don't fit in because I only have one theriotype. Which is ridiculous, because a lot of folks only have one theriotype... And I still don't quite fit in with them either.

Maybe I don't fit in because I'm a contherian with experiences that have stayed steady through my entire life, from practical infancy up to now 25 years later. But there are other contherians out there, and I still don't quite fit in with them either.

Or maybe it's because of my anymic identity - inherently I won't quite fit in with anyone because my species identity doesn't really match anyone else's, let alone anything that is known to exist. But it's still not quite that either, because there are lots of anymic therians experiencing what it's like to be something without name and potentially without equal, and I still feel like I don't quite fit in with them.

In reality it's probably a mixture of all of those things, but that still doesn't seem to be the answer. In all of those cases I still should fit in somewhere, and yet here I am, feeling like I don't.

The question of whether or not my identity's "origins" have anything to do with why I still feel like I don't belong has definitely crossed my mind a few times - so many folks can fit theirs into neat categories as past lives, spiritual, psychological, etc., but I'm certainly not one of them. Somehow it feels like I am all of those and also none of them at the same time.

I feel like maybe I was just born with the wrong soul in the wrong body - that's spiritual for sure. And I feel like maybe my brain is just completely and totally wired wrong - that's psychological. But there's something else. Something not quite spiritual and not quite mental.

I started to wonder if maybe I'd feel more at home with the holotheres and physical therians, but no, definitely not there either - I understand that I'm in a human body, I am under no impression that I currently physically am my theriotype in any way (and my species dysphoria won't let me forget that). So it's not really a current physical identity. I'm also under no impression that I can physically transform into my theriotype in any way, so it isn't Clinical Lycanthropy either.

There is something viscerally physical about it, though. I never really believed that I could physically transform or that this body was entirely nonhuman, but I absolutely believed that someday I would break free from my human skin and become my nonhuman self. I believed it lived just underneath my skin and that when I became an adult, it would emerge and I would be free from my human existence. Obviously that never happened, as I sit here 25 still painfully human in shape and form - and painful it is, as my body has seemed to continuously deteriorate as I grow. What started as just severe asthma and immunodeficiency transformed into multiple physical disabilities over the years.

My disabilities, my chronic illnesses, these have nothing to do with my nonhuman identity. Logically, I know that. Emotionally, it feels like my body is rebelling against its own existence, as if it is rejecting the mind and the soul that are so unfit for living within it, willing to sacrifice itself in the name of eliminating the viruses that are the spirit and brain that don't belong inside it. This is one of those experiences that I can confidently say I have never seen mirrored in the alterhuman community in any way - maybe i just haven't been in the right spaces to hear about it, or maybe it's just too heavy of a topic for most folks to talk about, or maybe I really am alone in this experience.

Circling back to my younger self's belief that my nonhuman self physically existed just underneath my human skin, I can't blame them for feeling that way. This is another experience that seems either non-existent or extremely rare in the community: my phantom appendages feel nothing like what most folks describe them as. I feel them in their full forms, but those full forms feel ghostly - they "clip" through things, I am fully aware that they aren't actually there. That in and of itself seems to be a fairly common experience... but for me it's combined with another sensation. I can feel these things - the wings, the tail, the claws, the teeth, the ears - as if they are physically trying to push through my skin. It's not pain, but it's a strange sort of pressure. I wish I could explain it better, but... just imagine. Imagine feeling as though there are other limbs or different appendages just beneath your skin, pushing to break free, constantly, all the time, every day, for as long as you can remember. It's uncomfortable, it's awkward, and it gets even more uncomfortable when the ghostly versions of the limbs "clip" through things. A signal seems to get sent from where they phase through whatever they're phasing through, all the way to the point where I feel like the physical versions are trying to push out from - that results in an even more uncomfortable tingling/pulsing sensation, both from that basal point and from wherever the "clipping" is happening. This kind of an experience is another one that I have not yet seen mirrored in the community - whether or not others experience it, I don't know, but it's a point of mental contention for me. Others explain their phantom shifts and I just cannot actually relate to it. I feel like what I experience is so fundamentally different, and it's another reason why I often feel like an outsider in the community.

As I continue to ruminate on this feeling of not belonging in a community that I should belong in, I come up with so many answers - like the way I've always known I was nonhuman but how my exact species identity, despite having many consistencies between them all, was so difficult to figure out, and how I still feel like I don't have a full grasp on exactly what it looks like. Every time I try to imagine exactly what it looks like, the image is blurry, shadowy, not quite whole - I can make out the vague shape, I can see its golden yellow eyes, but that's about it. And then I wonder if maybe this thing must be some kind of a past life identity, maybe I'm seeing it through its own eyes, not quite able to recognize itself beyond the most basic shape and the eyes, but it doesn't feel like a past life. It doesn't feel like a current or future life either, though. It just feels like the life I was supposed to be living, a life I keep running and reaching toward but always falling short.

And then I think about the way the community talks about shifting, or the lack thereof. As I said, I don't shift, I just constantly experience everything all the time. But what I mean by that seems so different from others. Other contherians exist as both human and nonhuman simultaneously - I seem to exist solely as nonhuman, only human in physical form, and via masking. When I fully allow myself to unmask, there is nothing human about me other than my body. Those who have seen it will attest. It's disturbing to witness, it's uncanny - it skips past cringe and dives straight into "would be seen in a horror movie" territory, apparently. The way I move, the way I react, the way I sound (if making any sound at all), the way I stand (or don't stand, if I'm somewhere where I can physically be on all fours), I become something seen as monstrous in the eyes of orthohumans and alterhumans alike. It isn't my species identity that is monstrous - on the contrary, my species identity poses little to no threat to humans - but I suppose it comes down to the idea of the uncanny valley. When I fully unmask, it becomes glaringly obvious that I am something inhuman in a human's body. I have seen the reactions some nonhuman identifying folks have had to me being mostly unmasked - in the case of one, seeing me fully unmasked - and it becomes clear that, even though none of us identify as human, there is something different about my identity. There is something fundamentally different about the way I experience it.

I want so badly to know that my experience isn't the only one of its kind, I want so badly to know that i have a place in this community (and that I have a place in this world, frankly), but I keep trying, and I keep coming back over and over to the realization that what I go through lies in some liminal space where I definitely don't fit in with orthohumans but I don't quite fit in with other nonhuman identifying folks either.

I'm not leaving the community, it's still the closest I have to finding others even vaguely like me, but I fear that "out of place" feeling will never go away. That I'll never actually find the place where I really belong.