#pants are my enemy idk why it's so hard to find something sometimes

[autumnrory]

love trying on a bunch of different things and still not being happy with any of it

[itsagoodluckkiss]

Lost Time

Pairings: Roronoa Zoro x F!Reader

WC: 2K

Warnings: Mutual pining, idiots in love, just pure fluff, no use of Y/N

A/N: Finally coming out from my hole to work on the requests I have neglected for so long. It was a rough couple of months, I'm juggling work, school and the problems that come with existence, so please be kind. English is not my first language, so sorry if this is all over the place at times. This is a request from my lovely @macbethsymphony, I love you so much, beautiful. I combined the two ideas and I really hope you'll at least enjoy it. Also forgive me for not making it suggestive, fluff suited it better I think. 💕

"Hiya 💕 Can I request something? I’m really craving some Zoro fluff 👉👈 I was thinking of something along the lines of kind of an accidental confession? Like the reader accidentally says they find him handsome but quickly and casually brushes it off (out of embarrassment but they’ve got a good poker face) but it sticks in his mind for days. Or maybe something about insomniac alone time in the crows nest? Idk I’ll let you chose what you prefer (if you decide to go for it that is because absolutely no pressure!!!) I’ll also let you decide if you wanna make it suggestive :3 whatever feels best for the story! Anyways love you ✨"

If anyone had said to you two years ago that you’d find your forever family on a pirate ship, you would have laughed at their face. Sometimes, when you lay in your bed at night, you still can’t comprehend the fact that you’re surrounded with such unique and amazing people. Despite the hardships and pain you had endured, you would never exchange the loving bond you had with your friends, each one holding a special place in your heart. But one of those bonds was slightly different.

It was slightly unbelievable how you had hit it off instantly with the swordsman of the crew, ever since they picked you up from your small island town back in the East Blue. Zoro’s your partner in crime, the person closest to you, the one you’d always trust with your hopes and fears. Even in moments of weakness, he was the person who managed to make you get it together. And somehow in return, you had managed to crack through his hard shell, gaining his trust and respect. Υour cheeky and bubbly personality appealing to his nonchalant character, making him smile whenever you were around, whenever you’d spend time together.

In the battlefield, you two were a force to be reckoned with. You always had his back, literally, watching out for enemies’ sneak attacks, him always protecting you when you were down, cutting down on anyone who dared to touch you. And that’s why Zoro never went easy on you during training, always wanting you to give you a challenge so you’d be in your best shape when in need. You appreciated that he never judged you based on gender, but sometimes, you wish he would relax, both for your sake and his.

It was the following days of a particularly rough battle; your bodies were still recovering from the wounds you sustained. You were in the crow’s nest, trying to keep up with his quick moves, the muscles of your legs straining as you deflected his attacks. Honestly, you couldn’t understand how this man could move with those dreaded wounds on him, but here he was, almost kicking you off your feet.

“Don’t lose your focus.”

Your eyes met his as you panted, trying to find your breath, fists raised in the air, sweat running down your forehead. You glanced down his body, your eyes widening when you saw the red streak on the bandages that covered his waist. You relaxed your stance immediately, going towards him to make him sit down the bench.

“Stupid bastard, you reopened your wound!”

“It’s nothing, don’t hover over me, we shouldn’t stop.”

“Shut up and sit still, let me see.”

You unwrapped the bandages around him, flinching when the slash on his ribs was visible to you. You grabbed the first aid kit from across the room. Chopper had insisted there would be one in every room because according to him, he may be a reindeer, but he may not always be able to treat all of you animals simultaneously. You sat beside Zoro on the bench. Disinfecting the wound got you a slight, almost silent hiss from him.

“You’re lucky the stiches haven’t reopened.”

“See? It’s nothing, no need to fuss.”

“You know, I only joined you today because I wanted to stop you eventually. You shouldn’t strain your body like that, Zoro. You should give it time to heal.”

You were careful with your moves, applying the ointment your doctor had made, cleaning the skin around his wound and then got the sweat off his abs before you wrapped fresh bandages around him. You were the only person besides Chopper that Zoro allowed to tend to his wounds. You had to admit that it made you feel special. It also gave you a chance to touch that body that felt like it was sculpted by the gods. You’d be lying to yourself if you said you never starred at him when he wouldn’t look, or how your heart thumped in your chest whenever he was too close. You had come to peace with your feelings of love for the swordsman, and you had come to peace with the fact that you’d never say a word about them. They wouldn’t be reciprocated anyways, so why would you ruin your friendship over them?

Right now, you had him in your arms, and it was enough. Rubbing the tension off his shoulders, his back laying against your chest, sighing in relief. His guard was down when you two were alone, allowing himself some sort of vulnerability, trusting in you to keep that side of him to yourself. His chiseled back, bare and clean from scars, laid in your display. His eyes were closed and you could see with the corner of your eye his facial features slowly relaxing. Your mind was racing, how you wanted to smother that beautiful face of his with kisses. You were smiling to yourself, not realizing you were thinking out loud.

“You’re so handsome…”

Your eyes widened for a second, breath caught in your throat, before you composed yourself as his eyes snap open to look at you, his gaze as stoic as always, not able to read what was going on in his mind.

“What?”

“I mean, you’re too handsome to die from not taking care of yourself. Do better, Roronoa.”

Your mind was reeling, almost short circuiting, but you kept your cool, appearing unbothered by what you just said, although you let go of him almost immediately after. You gathered your things, ready to go die in your room from embarrassment. He rises to his feet, stretching his limbs before grabbing a tower to wipe off the remaining sweat off his forehead.

“I’m gonna go lay down. You should rest too. Promise me you won’t train more today, yes?”

A sigh of annoyance left his mouth. “Okay, I promise you. Happy?”

“Yes. I’ll see you later.”

~

He had to admit, he didn’t expect your compliment. Of course, you had complimented each other’s skills and fighting in the past, but you had never made a comment about his appearance. Zoro pondered over it the next couple of days. He noticed how you had scattered almost immediately after, and even if you didn’t let your emotions take the better of you, he could sense your nervousness after that comment. He was taken aback but didn’t want to make you uncomfortable by mentioning the topic. It also gave him a sense of satisfaction. He had to admit he was happy you thought about him like that. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but the weird feeling that had taken its place in his heart from the first time you joined this crew was growing stronger each passing day.

Zoro had tried to deny his emotions for a long time. But two years apart made him realize there was no point in that. The times he would catch himself thinking about you, missing you in a different way than the rest of the crew. The way his heart clenched when he saw you again. How different, even more beautiful, you were but also how it was like no time had passed when you wrapped your hands around him in glee that you were with him again. It made him see there was no denying the devotion he had for you. Yet, he didn’t want to smother you over it, making you feel awkward for not reciprocating his feelings.

But your compliment made him doubt his decision. He recounted the times he had caught you staring at him, only to turn your head away in embarrassment. Or how you always leaned on him when you were tipsy, giggling against his shoulder. And how he always held you close in those moments. What if you actually felt the same? What if you actually saw him the way he saw you, and you were afraid of the same thing he was. Rejection. Zoro was never the man that cared about people accepting him or not. But it felt different with you. A stupid need wanted you to accept him in a certain way. The way two lovers got together in those novels Robin was reading about in her spare time. Love is a strong word, but he couldn’t find a better one for his feelings.

All these thoughts were swirling in his head as he nursed his bottle of sake while keeping watch in the crow’s nest until he heard the hatch opening. And as if some divine power was watching over him, you came into the room, closing the hatch behind you.

“Knew I’d find you here.”

“I’m keeping watch, so I don’t know where else I could be.”

You both chuckled as you made your way to stand next to him, leaning on the railing.

“Can’t sleep?”

“Something like that, yeah. I’ve been tossing and turning for the past hour.”

Zoro said nothing, instead offering you his bottle. You gingerly took it from his hand, your fingers brushing just for a second. You took a swig, looking out on the open sea. There was a full moon illuminating down on you, and no sound around you except the gentle waves against the hull of your ship. You stayed like that for a while, eyes on the vast ocean around you.

“You ever think about lost time?”

You turn your gaze in surprise when you heard him speak.

“What do you mean?”

“… Things you should have done but were late to do and you wasted time.”

“What are you thinking about?”

Zoro finally looked at you. You couldn’t read the gaze he had in his eyes but the hold he had on you would never allow you to look away.

“That two years have passed without seeing you and I still haven’t said that I thought of you every single day.”

“You… thought of me?”

You felt your heart clenching. Your eyes widen as you stared at him. Did he actually just say that? Zoro was never a man that played with his words, always blunt and straightforward. He scoffed lightheartedly, a small smile on his face at your shocked expression.

“Of course I did. And during that time, I also realized I wasted time wondering what you’d think of me while I could have spent it holding you in my arms.” He took a small pause. “I love you. I’m sorry.”

He turned his gaze to look at the sea once again while your now teary eyes were glued at him, hanging on the words that fell from his mouth, a wide smile forming on your face. It felt like a dream. A dream you regularly had in those two agonizing years you yearned to see him again.

“What are you sorry for?”

His eyes were on you again, reading your expression.

“I-”

“Do you have any idea how many times I wanted to just tell you? How much struggle it took to keep it all down?”

Your bodies were now thoughtlessly closing the distance between you, almost touching. Your hands grasped his shoulders softly while his traveled to your waist to hold you steadily in his chest.

“You should have.”

He leaned slightly, your foreheads touching. His gaze buried into yours, communicating all the feelings that both of you shared. Longing, reluctance, uncertainty and most of all, love.

“I don’t want to waste more time. May I kiss you?”

You gave him a toothy grin, a tear sliding down your face.

“Yes. Please.”

His hand cupped your cheek to wipe the tear away as his lips found yours in a sweet kiss that held no hesitation, all the unspoken words both of you hadn’t spoken in so long pouring into it. His other hand held your waist firmly against him while your lips moved in sync with a passion that couldn’t be described, as the moon shone down on you, the only witness to your link. After a moment you broke the kiss to catch your breath, smiling, his breath falling on your lips as he chuckled breathlessly, foreheads still against each other.

“You’re stuck with me now.”

“Wouldn’t want it any other way, Zoro.”

[waka-chan-out]

Hello! Congratulations ^^ could you do oikawa + prompt 12? Maybe the reader is a dumbass, hates him, or is just pretending, idk, thank you!

300 Follower Event

Oikawa Tooru

Prompt 12: “Fine! I’ll say it.”

this fic was part of my 300 follower event. check out the rest of the submissions here.

timeskip college au.

word count: 2.4k

content warning: i—this is basically enemies to lovers without all the extra steps. oikawa is a brat. i am in love with him. let’s all have a good time. otherwise, the only warnings are someone walking in and technically unprotected sex. we can ignore that for the sake of the fantasy.

thank you so much! i liked your thinking with this one. it was very fun to write.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” you asked. Oikawa frowned.

“Like what?”

“Like I have something on my face. If you have something to say, just say it.”

“I don’t!”

“Then stop staring.”

“Fine.” He looked down at his notebook. Then he huffed and laid his chin on his hand. You groaned.

“What?” you snapped.

“What do you mean?” He held up his hands defensively.

“You’re acting all pouty.”

“I am not!”

You set your jaw and glared at him. He was infuriating. He was also smart, which made it even more frustrating that you were assigned to work together — he seemed like he was good at nearly everything he tried.

He was also handsome. So handsome it made you want to slap him. No wonder his friend from home was knocking him around all the time. It was hard to stare that that pretty face for too long before you wanted to punch it.

“Now who’s staring?” he said, sly smile creeping onto his face. You rolled your eyes and turned back to your notebook, scribbling what was probably nonsense in your notes.

“It’s not so terrible for you to admit you’re attracted to me.”

You stared at him in disgust.

“What are you talking about?”

“I meant exactly what I said. You don’t need to get so defensive.”

“I’m not defensive.” You laughed incredulously, but you had to admit -- you totally sounded defensive. “You’re just wrong.”

“Ah, I see. We’re playing that game.”

You tried to return to your work, but he was staring holes into the side of your head, face tipped over into his palm, spinning a pen in his free hand. Without looking up, you pushed your notes over to him.

“So I was thinking you could present this part. Then I can talk through --”

“You’re very pretty, you know that?” he asked. You stopped talking for a moment, pointedly not looking up at him.

“I can talk through this idea and then we can take turns after that.”

He leaned in. “You’re also very stubborn. Has anyone ever told you that?”

“Yes. They have. Can we work please?” You turned to glare at him but stopped midway through the motion. He was incredibly close, too close, a smug smirk plastered on his infuriatingly perfect face. You gritted your teeth.

“We can work. Do you want to work?”

Your face felt hot.

“Yes.”

He tipped back and crossed his arms.

“Okay. What am I doing again?”

“Were you not paying attention?”

“No.” His eyes fell to your lips. “I wasn’t.”

You took a shaky deep breath and turned back to your notes.

“Um. The presentation. You can . . . wait.” You paged through your notes. “I lost it. Hold on.”

“You seem flustered.”

“I’m not -- you know what?” You pushed your books away. “I give up. What is your deal today?”

He licked his lips and scanned your face, weighing his options. Then he dramatically held up his arms like he was surrendering.

“Fine, I’ll say it.” He leaned onto the table, closer to you than would have made you feel comfortable. “I find you extremely attractive.”

“Subtlety isn’t your thing, is it?”

He rubbed a hand over his face.

“Let me rephrase.” He sighed. “I like you. Very much.”

You stared at him.

“What am I supposed to do with that?”

He tipped his head to the side and grinned.

“Well, I can think of any number of things.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“Yes.”

You scanned his face. He was completely serious. Even with an eyebrow arched and small smile on his face, he wasn’t joking in the least. You sighed.

“Fine.”

His eyes flew open.

“What?”

“I said fine.”

A disbelieving smile played at his lips.

“Fine, what?”

“If I do something about it --” You looked away, unable to continue while looking at that smug face. “Will you finally shut up?”

He grinned, still looking unsure.

“Are you serious?”

You smacked his arm.

“Yes, I’m serious. If you keep acting like that I’m gonna send you home.”

“I’ll be good.” He crossed his heart. “Promise.”

You stood and nudged at his chair.

“Then scooch.”

He raised his eyebrows, that cheeky smile still plastered on his face. God, you wanted to knock that right off. He pushed back from the table and you threw a leg over him so you were straddling his lap.

“My, I was hoping you’d say yes but I didn’t think you’d be this eager.”

You grabbed a fistful of his soft, impeccably styled hair and yanked it back. He let out a small yelp and stared at you in surprise.

“What did I say?”

He let out a breathy laugh.

“You told me not to act like myself.”

“I did, didn’t I? How do you think you’re acting right now?”

He grinned and bit his lip, a gesture that should have been off-putting but somehow worked perfectly on his face.

“If you want me to stop --” He strained forward against your hand in his hair, leaning very close to your face. “You’re gonna have to make me.”

“Done.”

You him closer and kissed him.

It was desperate, aggressive, laced with frustration and the slightest bit of self-satisfaction. He slipped his tongue into your mouth eagerly, smiling slightly when you returned the gesture. You could feel his confidence returning in every shift of his lips. He laid his hands high on your legs, squeezing them slightly as you pushed yourself further into his lap.

You lightly bit his lip and his fingertips dug further into your thighs.

He was greedy, seemingly entirely focused on getting closer to you, constantly closer when when he wrapped his arms around you and every inch of your upper bodies were pressed together. You expected him to be more selfish, maybe a little lazy. You thought he’d make you chase him. Instead he was entirely wrapped up in you, sighing against your mouth when your tongue slid against him just so.

You were faintly aware of pressure between your legs. He was clearly excited, impatience becoming more apparent as your hips moved against him.

He gasped into your mouth. You hadn’t expected that reaction from someone like him. It surprised you so much you had to pull back and laugh. He somehow kept a light smile on his face when as he frowned.

“What’s so funny?” he asked. You laughed and leaned against his shoulder. His brows raised and he waited for you to finish.

“I -- it’s nothing.” You covered your face with your hands. “You’re just . . .” You looked between his legs.

“You don’t have to call attention to it! You’re in my lap. What options did I have?”

“Think about your grandmother.”

His nose wrinkled.

“Absolutely not.”

“Oo! Think about Iwa-chan,” you teased. Oikawa looked off to the side like he was seriously considering what you said.

“Actually . . .”

“Oh my god. No. Stop that.”

“You’re right. You’re much prettier than that brutish Iwa-chan.” He leaned forward and kissed you gently. It didn’t last long, but when he pulled away you felt like your ears were ringing.

“Are we going to finish what we started or shall I head home?”

You glanced at the time and glared at him.

“If you tell anyone about this I’ll kill you.”

His face lit up.

“Really?”

You glared at him.

“Fine,” he said, leaning further against the back of the chair. “Do your worst.”

He inhaled a sharp breath as you gripped his hair and forced your lips together.

If your first kiss was aggressive, this one could almost be described as vicious. He yanked you against him, but not before you could start pulling at the buttons of his shirt and pushing your hips against his. He let out a small sound, so quiet it sounded like he was purposefully holding back to save his pride. You got his shirt open and took a moment to appreciate just how strong and soft he looked. Another perfection stacked on perfection. No wonder he had such a shitty personality sometimes. He had to make up for the rest of his strengths.

You ran your hands down his chest and he shivered. He shifted his lips away from yours and ran them down your jaw. He landed a few open mouth kisses on your neck as he slipped his fingers under the hem of your shirt. He only pulled his mouth off of you to tug it over your head, then immediately returned and kissed along your collarbone.

You sighed and wrapped your arms around his neck, melting into the warm press of his hands. He grabbed your hips and rocked them against him.

You both gasped, not realizing how sensitive you were to each other until you were more active about it. You prayed that you wouldn’t regret what you were about to do, but you couldn’t stop yourself.

You hopped out of Oikawa’s lap and you silently thanked the universe that you weren’t wearing real pants. Having to shimmy out of a pair of jeans just to have sex with Tooru Oikawa was something you would have never lived down.

“Really?” he asked, eyebrows raised.

“Shut up before I regret this.”

He held up his hands in surrender, smiling lightly to himself. You readjusted your clothing as he frantically undid and tugged down the front of his slacks.

You swung back onto his lap. He hissed a bit at the more direct contact and stared up at you with wide eyes. He looked almost precious like this, like a kid playing with a toy for the first time. You tried to force the image out of your head.

You brought your lips back to his, kissing him hard as you brought your hand between his legs and tugged down the waistband of his briefs. He hummed in surprise but didn’t break the kiss. He finally seemed to grasp reality when you tugged your underwear to the side, and positioned yourself over him.

“You really wanted me didn’t you? Is this all you could think about while we were—”

You slid down onto him with little resistance. His eyes shut and he choked on the rest of his words.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” you asked.

He let out a bitter laugh and tipped his head against your chest.

“Rude.”

You buried a hand in his hair, tugging slightly and reconnecting your lips as you started moving. He brought his hands to your hips to help you shifted on top of him. You were almost annoyed with how good he felt inside of you, somehow being just enough but not too much and hitting you exactly where you needed him. Your motion in his lap was more eager than you wanted to seem, but you felt like you genuinely couldn’t help it.

Oikawa pulled away from your lips and buried his face into your neck, swearing quietly. You summoned all the strength in your legs to go a little faster, allowing yourself to give in to the feeling as much as you wanted to hold back.

You held a little tighter to his hair and he began letting out nearly silent whimpers, soft and high and breathy. They were somehow both very unlike him and exactly what you would expect. He moved his hands from your hips to wrapping his arms around your waist.

He swore, voice muffled against your chest. You hummed in agreement, head tipping back as he pulled you down harder onto him.

One hand pulled away from your waist and fell between your legs.

“Can I?” he asked. You nodded without looking at him and he beamed. He slipped his hand beneath the fabric and began rubbing circles on your clit. You tipped forward and and buried your face against his hair, trying and failing to hold back a gasp. He laughed, then groaned as you pulled on his hair again.

“You like when I do that, don’t you?” you asked, smiling against his face.

“Shut up,” he huffed, moving his thumb faster against you. You moaned and tightened your arms around his neck.

“Are you close?” you asked.

“Mhmm.”

“Good.” You were breathless and riding the wire yourself, feeling like you could tip over any second.

“Fuck,” he grunted. “You’re gorgeous.”

The words sent a shock through you and you moaned against your will. You wanted to return the compliment, but you couldn’t find the words. Instead, you desperately pressed your mouth to his and sighed into his mouth.

His arm latched around your waist. It allowed your hips to shift less but made him hit you even deeper. Your breath rushed from your mouth into his and he drank it in.

Your lips hovered just above his as you swore, grip on his neck tightening so much you were sure it was almost painful as your body shook. You went over recklessly and almost embarrassingly hard, but it seemed to drive him crazy. He held you steady in his lap as he followed after you, eyes squeezing shut as harsh sounds fell from his lips.

You fell limp against each other, chests heaving in a shared rhythm. Slowly, your pants became laughs as you realized the position you were in. He joined in until you were both in a fit, voices breathless and giddy and muffled against each other’s skin.

“That was better than I thought it was gonna be,” you said. He weakly smacked your leg and squeezed you in a firm hug.

“You’re so mean.”

You ran a hand through his hair, hoping he wouldn’t see the genuine smile on your face.

You checked the time again and noticed his face had turned up

“Why do you keep checking the time?”

“Nothing. My roommate just —”

There was the sound of a lock in the door and in swung open.

“Oh my god!” You scrambled out of his lap as your roommate stepped into the entryway. “I’m so sorry.”

You tried to explain through small bursts of laughter as Oikawa rearranged his pants and gathered his things. He tucked into his shoes and approached the door.

“Tooru. It’s nice to meet you.” He grinned, looking somehow even more handsome with his ruffled hair and rumpled, unbuttoned shirt.

She stared at him like he was out of his mind. His smile didn’t falter.

“Well.” He turned to you and did a single finger gun motion. “I’ll be seeing you. You have my number.”

The door swung shut and you buried your face in your hands.

Shit.

[leviiattacks]

your angst is really good and i wanted to may i request guard levi and princess reader, they have an affair because they end up falling in love but one day levi can’t protect her because he takes his eyes off her and idk the plot i just felt like crying today and i need a reason so just something angsty😭

note :: i saw this and really wanted to write something but i’m not really sure if i did well it’s shorter than what i normally write but hopefully i did some justice to your request. requests are open so feel free to drop by again and request if you want to !!

++ might make this into an actual fic perhaps,,, minus the dying and what not but guard levi is a very interesting concept to me hmm

warnings :: blood, death, infidelity

No one knows or is able to understand why or how Levi is having such a hard time coping with your death. You are the princess of the nation and he, your guard. Nothing more, nothing less.

At least that’s what everyone else in the Kingdom thinks.

Every night he greets your book shelf like a mad man. Well, it’s all he has to remember you by, why would he ever let it go with ease?

"What you reading? Another sappy romance novel?" He's poked his head from a corner and you grin up at him telling him that you are indeed indulging in another piece of romantic fiction.

For an unknown reason dread fills his gut when he meets your smile, that's never happened before.

It's a bad omen, a sign that he's fallen but is in denial, refutation, rejection, contradiction whatever it is he can't find an appropriate word for it. All he knows is he'll regret this later. He doesn't know why but the sinking feeling in his stomach is an indication that this forbidden romance the two of you share in secrecy will go South.

It’s silent apart from your humming.

"Levi... can you promise me you'll live a long happy life?" The out of place question is worrying. Another premonition and he opens his mouth to voice his concern. However your gaze lingers on his face telling him to not cause a dispute, not right now.

"If you promise me the same, then yes My Lady."

Looking away you're awake but distant. "We are in privacy. You may use my name Levi."

"And, I don't know if I can live a long and happy life. I can try." The slow confession only makes his heart race uncomfortably.

He sighs sitting beside you, your shoulders rub against his. "Then I retract my previous statement. I cannot possibly live a happy life when the princess is discontent."

You flail your arms around, hands are flapping in front of your chest in an attempt to convince him to not think so foolishly.

He narrows his eyes. Expression unreadable, a mix of frustration, maybe even premature grief. It's enough to coax an agreement out of you.

"Very well, I promise to live happy."

Fists clenching your bed sheets he damns himself to Hell for ignoring his instincts. For putting your life in jeopardy all for his own temporary satisfaction.

His forehead hits the plush duvet and he inhales the linen hoping that your smell lingers, hoping that the vanilla is still present. Hoping there’s something left to prove he hasn’t made you up. He fears he’ll forget your scent, your voice, your touch. He fears he’ll forget it all.

If he had followed orders, never let himself grow emotionally involved perhaps you would still be here. Perhaps, if he didn't lead you astray and convince you to betray royalty by pursuing what the two of you shared, maybe just maybe you would still be alive and well.

He'll end up in damnation for all the pain and suffering he's caused you, He curses himself every day for having the nerve to fall in love with a member of Royalty.

No matter how well respected or how strong he was in the military he never had the power to protect you from the political turmoil your family was submerged in. He wasn't of Royal blood, there was nothing he could do to protect you.

One of you would die first, and die you did.

He assumes he was made to suffer through that bleak, unwelcoming night for a reason. That's why he had to see the enemy take you away from him, he needed to be given a reality check.

Royalty and commoners are worlds apart for a reason.

You scream at the world as you call for him, shrieking as the blade erupts from your stomach. It’s throbbing and strumming in vengeance. The contents of your belly become one with the floor but the pungent stench isn't enough to pry Levi away from you. The air is quickly fogging up with the scent of your blood and insides. You whimper, you cry, you sob staring at the heavens.

"You are not dying on me, You can't be dying on me, I won't let you die on me. We haven't said goodbye properly, you can't just-"

"Yes I can Levi. I am not immortal." There you are laughing as you wilt in his arms, you disregard the emptiness you feel, you need to comfort him. Withering away isn't an option for now.

Frantically attempting to staunch the wound to no avail Levi is distraught when he feels you slipping away from him. "You promised to live a long happy life." He murmurs in betrayal, his eyes are glazed over in complete shock.

Panting out of exhaustion and pressing down firmer he's pleading you to not let go of him just yet.

You watch him unravel above you, eyes squeezed shut, he’s lurching forward burying the sounds that want to escape from his chest so badly.

Your shaking hands travel to his cheeks cupping them gently and you draw hesitant circles into his cold skin.

Levi’s tears fall and you sense the dampness coat your fingertips.

"If you were paying attention you would know I promised to live happy Levi, not live long."

You broke the promise, an early death is not dying happy.

He's stunned, he should’ve known you’d pull something like that.

"You made me the happiest Levi."

He thinks that’s a lie.

You break under the pressure and finally admit how you feel.

"I'm scared, what if we never-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, we will do what we've planned. I promise." He growls assertive in his point of view.

But, you know it's too late. Placing his unsteady hand above your heart you let your other hand fall from his face. The energy is being drained out of you quicker than expected.

"I dreamt about you last night, dreamt we could be happy.” You hack and gasp desperately for breath but much to Levi’s horrified gaze the blood only trickles down your chin. “I hope we reunite whether that be in the afterlife if that place is real or in another life entirely. We will become lovers but we can't indulge in that luxury right now."

"No, no, no. Shut up, stop talking you're wasting your breath you need to-"

"I love you Levi, please live happily for me."

Then you are limp.

His eyes shoot open as the scene draws to an end. Yet another nightmare has plagued him, one where he is reminded of your passing.

The title of murderer is self appointed, he holds himself responsible for taking his eyes off you. It gave your assassin the perfect window of opportunity to strike, it had been enough to take you out like a faltering light.

Sometimes as he drinks into the night trying to forget it all. He wonders if everything would be different if he had kept his love for you locked away.

Would you still be alive and married to that other man whilst he would have to watch on in pain?

But nothing would be more painful than now, he’d rather watch that instead of accept that you are long gone.

Would you still be alive and forced to bed your horrible fiancé?

Would you carry that man’s children?

He hates himself for confessing and telling you how he felt. He despises that you had to suffer for his sin.

But, that’s the issue with love. It had made the danger in Levi look like safety to you and it had made the danger in you look like peace to Levi.

There are reasons why a guard and his princess should never mingle.

After all, they are worlds apart for a reason.

[tommyhollandaisesauce]

Let Me Do The Work [t.h.]

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Tom Holland x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 6.2k idk how 

Posted: 11/19/2020

Warnings: Fluff, smut, unprotected sex (wrap it up kids), oral sex (f receiving), maybe too much plot? and definitely a whole lotta lazy sex sue me you’re welcome.

Summary: Tom thinks you deserve a reward after a hard few days at work.

A/N: uhhhh I mean I think I covered all the bases lol. I rly hope you guys like this I think I started it over a year ago and only recently had the motivation to finish and post it. This is basically my brain baby so please lmk how you guys liked it and if you would like to be added to my taglist there’s a google form linked in my bio. Enjoy horn dogs!!

When Tom got home on Wednesday night the last thing he expected his girlfriend to say was “Wanna have sex?” He had asked a few times before if you could and your response was usually something to the effect of “Sorry babe, another time, I’m just exhausted.” He knew your job was taxing and took a lot out of you and, frankly, Tom could survive the work week without getting any. He also knew that once Friday night rolled around it was all systems go; the weekend was yours to fool around as much as you wanted. And he was willing to wait.

Asking never hurt, though. Tom wasn’t annoying about it, at least he hoped he wasn’t. And for all the times you’d asked to have sex after he had a particularly exhausting day on set and he agreed, he didn’t feel super guilty about asking now and then.

It was unusual that Tom would be so exhausted from working that he didn't have any energy left to have sex. There had been some rare days when Tom could barely keep his eyes open even though you were right there, naked and sweaty, and riding his cock right on the living room couch. Your hands would be resting on his broad shoulders, your fingers digging into the muscles beneath his freckled skin as you bounced on his cock and his hands could barely stay put on your waist or hips to help you move. Sure, he liked watching you rise and fall on his lap and he liked seeing himself disappear inside of you and he liked the way your tits bounced with every movement and he liked watching your face. God, he loved your gorgeous face.

Your eyes would flutter open and closed the closer you got and you’d look at him with your big, beautiful eyes that were dark and lust blown and your jaw would go slack and you’d throw your head back in pleasure. Your movements would get sloppier as you’d start shaking and convulsing while you came. His arms would lazily wrap around your waist to pull you closer and you’d nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck, breathing hard against his skin as you came down from your high. But Tom couldn’t find it in himself to even worry about his own orgasm, he just wanted to sleep.

So when he came home to your shared flat around 7 pm from walking Tessa on a particularly boring Wednesday, now that he had a break, and saw you lying on the couch with a glass of red wine in one hand and your other arm thrown over your eyes, he figured it was pointless to ask. You had gotten home sometime while he was out, didn’t bother changing out of your blouse and jeans just yet, popped a bottle open, and poured yourself a glass.

Tom unclipped the leash from Tessa’s collar, allowing her to run free around the flat. Immediately, she trotted over to you, nuzzling your legs with her nose until you caved and gave her a few scratches behind her ears. Tom slipped off his sneakers, padding over to you, causing Tessa to run off in search of her favorite toy. The couch sank under his weight as he sat down next to your head, your eyebrows raised at the shift.

“Hey, stranger,” you muttered, removing your arm from covering your half-lidded eyes. Your eyes sparkled in the dim living room lighting as you looked up at Tom. He couldn’t remember a single time they looked dull. Not during a fight, or when you were sad or tired or sick, never. They reminded him of stars. No matter what, they kept shining.

“Hi love,” Tom leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on your wine-stained lips. The upside-down angle was slightly awkward, but you’d be lying if you said you two hadn’t done the Spider-Man Kiss before, per his request.

You smiled up at him as he pulled away and closed your eyes. Tom threaded his fingers through your messy locks and you relaxed, even more, leaning your head into his hand.

“Long day?” He asked, continuing to run his fingers through your hair.

“Don’t even get me started,” you huffed out, dramatically throwing your arm back over your eyes, which made Tom chuckle at your antics.

“Tell me what happened?” He asked lovingly, and as you lowered your arm you raised a single eyebrow at him.

“You sure?” You asked cautiously, “Because I wouldn’t wish the shit I dealt with today on my worst enemy.”

Tom scoffed, shrugging his shoulders, “Try me.”

You sighed before beginning your story. Today had been insufferable. From the minute you clocked in, to the minute you clocked out, it had been hell. One coworker in particular, with whom you were not super close or friends in any way, kept nagging you about your relationship like she did every single day.

The incessant questioning and probing was getting old and, quite frankly, rude. The questions started out harmless, like everyone else’s when they found out the Tom Holland was your boyfriend. Some asked for autographs or pictures and you declined, saying that if he ever came in Tom would be more than happy to do that. And Tom agreed; you playing messenger was weird and not the type of thing either of you wanted people to get accustomed to. And most people understood; except for one.

The more she asked the worse they got. Personal questions were the norm now. Questions about family members and life together and sex. God, the sex questions never ended. ‘Is it good?’ and ‘What are you guys into?’ were some of her favorites. Sometimes she’d get creative with them and switch them up. And every time, you refused to answer. And you relayed this information to Tom like you did most days, and he rolled his eyes in annoyance at her ignorance before leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to your forehead when he saw you were getting riled up.

You softened immediately and sighed. Tom had a calming effect on you. Just being around him was relaxing. After so long together he still could calm you down. And he was cheaper than your copay for therapy, so hey why not vent to him?

“Just forget about her for now, babe,” Tom sighed out, continuing to stroke your hair, “she’s not worth your energy.”

“You're right,” you exhaled, “I’m home, I got my wine, I got my boy, I can relax.”

“Exactly,” Tom said, laughing at your words. He didn’t feel the need to say anything else as you both relaxed, his fingers still threaded in your hair, until a few more minutes went by, your eyes opened, and you turned your head to make sure you were setting down your not yet empty glass on the coffee table.

A soft “hey” escaped Tom’s lips as he watched you use your arms to lean up and turn to face him. He would’ve spoken more but was cut off as your lips pressed to his, the kiss awkward since you had caught him as he was speaking. His lips were slightly chapped and he tasted like spearmint gum as you hovered over him and moved your lips against his.

Tom sighed into the kiss, bringing one hand up to cup your cheek. You clumsily clambered into Tom’s sweatpants clad lap to straddle him and his other hand sat high on your thigh. The kiss was slow and passionate, neither of you in a rush to go further just yet. You melted into the kiss as his tongue slid along your lower lip to ask for permission to enter. You parted your lips immediately, allowing Tom access. After a few moments of lazily making out like teenagers, you pulled away to catch your breath. You closed your eyes, leaning your forehead against Tom’s as you both panted, trying to catch your breath.

“Can we go to our room?” You mumbled, just loud enough for Tom to hear. Your voice was low, soft, and a little shaky from being so tired. His eyes opened at your words and his ears perked up. Tom pulled his head away from yours and your eyes returned to their half-open state.

“I thought you were tired?” He questioned teasingly, tucking some strands of hair behind both your ears and resting his hands on your cheeks. You reached up and wrapped your fingers around Tom’s wrists, smiling sweetly at him. He was sure his heart damn near melted in his chest at the sight of his sleepy girlfriend asking to have sex with him.

“I am,” you said softly, smirking as Tom ran his hands down your sides and settled over your hips, “why do you think I wanna go to our room?” You joked, wrapping your arms loosely around his neck and ducking your head down to place soft kisses along the side of it. He sighed, tilting his head in the opposite direction to give you more room as your fingers carded through the short, soft curls at the back of his head.

“You sure?” Tom asked breathily, as you continued laying kisses across his jaw and below his ear, “Because I don’t want you to do it just because I want to-“

“Tom,” you huffed, pulling away from his neck, your hands migrating to rest on his shoulders. He straightened up and opened his eyes as the feeling of your soft lips disappeared from his neck. “I’m sure. Now shut up and take me to the bedroom.”

He smiled up at you as he snaked one of his large hands around your waist and the other under one of your legs before shakily standing up. You yelped at the jerky, clumsy action and wrapped your arms tighter around Tom’s neck and your legs around his waist. Tessa jumped up from her bed where she had been lying from the sudden movement as Tom carried you down the hall to where your bedroom was, the door ajar. You giggled as he almost smacked both of you into the door frame and nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck. Tom kicked the door gently to push it open before entering the room, turning around, and kicking it closed again. Tessa scratched at the door for a few seconds before giving up and trotting off back to her bed.

The room was cool and dimly lit by two bedside lamps and the computer monitor on the desk, which had yet to go dark and was emitting a hazy, red-orange glow on everything in the room. The window was cracked open to allow some fresh air in and the sheer, white curtains fluttered every so often due to a random gust of wind.

The room still smelled like Tom though. Sure the scent of your lavender body wash and coconut and vanilla hair products and the eucalyptus candle you occasionally burned was lingering, but it was predominantly Tom scented. It was a clean and fresh smell, not shoe polish or sandalwood or, god forbid AXE. It was a perfect balance of pine and rain and laundry detergent. God, if you could bathe in Tom’s smell you would. It was intoxicating. And having the direct source of the smell pressed against you did little to quell the ache that had appeared between your thighs.

However, Tom never closed doors behind him. The door to the walk-in closet you and Tom shared was halfway open, as was the bathroom door. He always left them just open enough where he could get in and out without having to touch the door. You had no clue when the habit had started. It was only mildly annoying, one of those things you find out about a person only after you start living with them, and you always went and closed them after him. As much as you reminded him to close them, and as much as he promised he would, he never did. Tonight, however, was an exception. One, you were far too tired to do so, and two, there were far more pressing matters at hand than some open doors.

When Tom walked over to the bed until his knees hit the edge and he gently laid you down on top of the soft covers, all thoughts of open doors were immediately forgotten. You relaxed instantly into the comforter, one of your legs propped up and bent at the knee, your arms up by your sides, with one hand absentmindedly scratching at your shoulder. Tom settled his hands at your ankles, rubbing soft circles into the exposed skin with his thumbs as his eyes raked over your body.

You took this time to admire Tom. There aren't enough words in the English language to describe how gorgeous Tom Holland is, even in sweats and an old t-shirt. Everything about him made you crave him more. His loose curls and warm brown eyes and soft smile and broad shoulders and, god, everything about this man drove you wild. You knew that what was hiding under his tight, white t-shirt and grey sweats was worth the many minutes — maybe hours — of sleep you’d lose tonight.

“God, I love you so much,” Tom broke the silence, as he crawled up your body to rest directly on top of you, between your parted legs. His hand trailed up your legs and sides before it settled on your waist and the other on your cheek. Your own hands snaked around his neck, and you pulled him down for a kiss, both of you closing your eyes as your lips collided, melting into one another. Tom quickly picked up right where you left off on the couch, swiping his tongue against your lower lip. Just as quickly, you opened your mouth and his tongue slipped inside, running against your own. Tom wrapped one arm tightly around your waist and with his other arm, he picked you up and pulled both of you higher up on the bed, gently placing you back down amongst the soft pillows.

“Now,” Tom spoke into the kiss after a few moments, “let’s get you outta these jeans.”

“What?” You mumbled against his lips, feigning offense, as his nimble fingers popped open the button on your dark grey, straight leg jeans and pulled down the zipper, “You don’t like my jeans?”

“No, I love your jeans,” he responded, still kissing you, “but right now they’re in the way.”

At that, Tom stuck his fingers through the belt loops on either side of your hips and broke away from the kiss, sitting back on his legs and pulling the denim down your legs. Once you were free of your jeans, he repositioned himself above you and attached his lips to your neck, just as you had done to him earlier. His fingers reached for the buttons on your blouse and clumsily began to undo them. Your hands were in his hair as he left open mouth kisses along your neck and jaw, occasionally biting down a little before running his tongue over the spot to soothe the skin. You could already tell there’d be some dark marks on your neck Tomorrow, but at this point, you didn’t care. You’d just wear a turtleneck the next day.

Eventually, Tom was able to undo all the buttons on your blouse. He pushed the creamy white satin down your shoulders and arms, tossing it somewhere in the room, his lips never leaving your skin. You were now only in your underwear, the chill from the cool air seeping in from the window causing goosebumps to form across your body. Soft, quiet moans escaped from your lips as Tom continued his attack on your newly exposed collarbones and chest. One of his hands came up to massage your breast through the light blue, lace bra you were wearing as he left sloppy kisses over your chest, and you could tell that you were completely soaked watching him do this. He looked up at you from between your breasts, one hand still resting on top of your left one, a cheeky smirk gracing his thin lips at the noises you were emitting.

“I like this color,” Tom said, his voice low and husky but he was grinning. As he spoke, he snapped the band of the bra against your ribs, the sting causing you to flinch a little, “it suits you.”

“Then you’ll be pleased to know that I’m matching today,” you whispered, still heaving slightly. Tom furrowed his eyebrows as he looked down and sure enough, you were wearing matching lace bottoms, not entirely unintentionally. Beaming up at you, Tom traveled down your body, his fingers grazing gently over your skin and his hot breath tickling you as his lips left soft kisses across your stomach, sparks dancing across your flesh in their wake. Slowly, he settled between your legs, your thighs thrown over his shoulders with your feet planted on the mattress on either side of his torso. His own hands were on your hips, holding you down against the bed. He pressed a few gentle kisses on your inner thighs as he began pulling the sides of your underwear down your hips.

Raising your butt off the mattress to help, Tom was able to carefully pull the delicate lace completely off your legs. There had been one prior occasion where he had tugged at your underwear just a little too hard and ripped the fragile material and you had not been too pleased with him after that. From then on, regardless of the nature of the activity, he was very careful in removing your underwear.

Once your underwear had been discarded, he resumed his place between your thighs, his hands finding yours and resting on your stomach just above your hips. Tom continued laying gentle kisses on your hips and inner thighs, everywhere but where you needed him most, each one followed by a soft exhale from you. After a few moments of teasing, he pressed a soft kiss directly on your clit, before licking a long stripe up between your folds. Your breathing hitched as Tom started working on your clit, alternating between gently pulling and sucking at it and circling it with his tongue. It didn’t take long before your back was arching off the bed and your legs began squirming around his head, the familiar knot forming in your lower stomach. Soft pants fell from your lips as Tom pulled away for a second to breathe, eyes fanning over your body, before diving back in, your hands squeezing his own as he reconnected with your pussy. Soon after, your legs began to shake and you bucked your hips upwards, Tom following your movements. As he continued applying firm pressure to your clit, you felt the knot snap, your toes curling and your head falling back into the pillows as you came. White-hot pressure flowed through your body as you rode out your orgasm, a string of soft moans and curses filling the room.

Tom’s tongue rolled lazily around your clit as you exhaled heavily, your body jolting forward and  sharp gasp leaving your throat when he lightly pulled on it with his lips. You felt another shock roll through your body as he continued massaging your clit. He slipped his right hand out of your grip, the other laying flat against your lower abdomen, holding you down as you bucked your hips again. He lifted his head, making direct eye contact with you. His stunning brown eyes beamed up at you through his long eyelashes, clouded over with lust and reflecting the faint light of the lamps on either side of the bed. His breath fanned over your heat, sending chills down your legs.

He was giving you a break. Just because you were tired did not mean Tom was, and after a few days with no action, he was ready to show you just how desperate he was for some.

“More,” you begged, pushing some damp curls that had fallen away from his forehead back. His free hand lowered to between your legs, his touch feather-light as he ran his index finger through your folds, soaked with your own arousal as well as his saliva.

“More?” he questioned teasingly, moving his finger in a figure-eight motion around your clit and your opening, dipping in just for a second before retreating. You nodded quickly to answer him, not trusting yourself to use your voice. “Use your words, baby.”

“Yes,” you choked out as he circled your clit, “please, more.”

“Thought you were tired?” Without even looking at him, you knew he was smirking. You could hear it in his voice. You exhaled in annoyance, groaning quietly as he continued to torment you. He chuckled at your reaction, finally giving in and placing his lips back on your core, as well as slipping a single finger inside, and very soon after, a second. You inhaled sharply at the new feeling, hands darting down to run your fingers through his soft hair, tugging at the curls as if you could control him like a puppet. Either that or he just knew exactly what you wanted, circling and pulling on your sensitive clit while simultaneously pumping his fingers inside you, curling them up ever so slightly to graze your g-spot.

Reaching your second orgasm took mere minutes, leaving you spent and panting harder than after the first. You knew that unless you pulled him away, he’d continue his assault on you. Breathing heavily with parted lips, you tugged harder than before on his hair until his lips left your body with a quiet pop, his own breathing heavy as well. You pushed your fingers through the dark curls that had fallen over his forehead again, attempting to smooth them down. Fortunately or unfortunately, you weren’t sure, but they refused to settle, instead sticking up in odd angles from your constant tugging. Either way, he looked beautiful, all messy hair and lust-filled eyes. Glancing down at him, his glistening lips pressed a kiss to your inner thigh, and another, and another, working up your body until he was eye level with you. His hand settled on your ribcage and yours on the back of his neck as he kissed you roughly on the lips, teeth clashing together, letting you taste yourself.

Tom hovered over you as your lips danced with his for a few minutes, rough and passionate, his large hands grasping at and exposed skin he could find, which was quite difficult considering you were still wearing a bra. His arms coiled around you to get to the clasp, forcing you to wind your arms tighter around his neck and arch your back to create enough room for his arms to pass under you. You could feel him tug at the clasp with one hand, unable to undo it, too distracted by your teeth grazing his bottom lip to adequately focus on the task at hand, which was to get you fully naked.

He just wanted to see you, why was this so fucking difficult?

“Tom, just let me-” you began to say, but Tom quickly cut you off with a firm “no” before fully sitting back on his heels, still leaning over you. His other hand now joined the first in trying to unclip your bra. Propping yourself up on your elbows, your head rolled back, an exaggerated sigh leaving your mouth. You weren’t sure why he insisted on always taking off your bra for you, but boy did he need the practice. As many times as he has tried and you demonstrated, it always took him a few moments, his fingers fumbling with the delicate clasp.

“Oh, for fucks sake-” you snapped, giving up and scooching up to sit up straight, Toms hands falling from behind you and settling in your knees. You didn’t have time for this tonight. His back straightened as he sat up to watch you work your magic, the outline of his thick cock on display under his grey sweatpants catching your attention, all but making you drool. You reached your hands behind you, swiftly undoing the clasp and beginning to tug the delicate straps down your shoulders.

“I almost had it,” you laughed as Tom attempted to salvage what was left of his ego, causing him to pout at you. Why was he so darn cute?

“Maybe on a day when I’m not as tired,” you said, fully pulling the bra from your body, “you can finally get it right, but right now we’re on borrowed time. Head can only boost my energy for so long.”

Tom rolled his eyes briefly before redirecting them to your chest, his hands traveling up from your knees to your shoulders to push you back onto the bed. He resumed his position above you, still fully clothed while you lay under him, completely exposed. His legs settled on either side of one of your thighs, his cock pressing firmly into your leg, straining against his pants. Another wave of chills, which Tom noticed, ran down your body as a gust of wind blew into the room, the cold causing your nipples to harden immediately.

“You cold?” he smirked, bringing a hand up to pinch your left nipple, rolling the bud teasingly between his thumb and index finger. You squinted your eyes at him, which caused him to chuckle.

“Yes, actually-” before you could finish, Toms’s fingers stilled and he gestured over to the open window, his head turning to follow his hand, asking if he should close it. Cupping his cheeks between your hands and turning his face back to you, you exclaimed, “No, oh my god, just fuck me already!”

The look of surprise on Tom’s face at your outburst was that of pure shock, as he very evidently did not expect you to be so desperate. Alternatively, the look on your face was one of slight annoyance as well as desperation and it set Tom into a frenzy. Your eyes were stars again; deep and dark and gleaming with desire. He swore he could see every constellation, every supernova, every inch of the cosmos in your beautiful eyes. After a moment, he whispered, “As you wish,” before leaning down to capture your lips in a softer, slower kiss.

Tom relished this moment. He was with you, the most important, precious person in his life and he got to see you like this. Which reminded him: he was still clothed. You seemed to have had a similar thought, as he felt your delicate fingers graze the sides of his torso as you searched for the hem of his shirt. Finding it, you started pulling it up, allowing Tom to break away from the kiss to pull the t-shirt over his head and chuck it somewhere into the room before reconnecting his lips with yours.

You raked your nails down his pecs as he deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue past your lips. The sensation caused Tom to exhale into the kiss, eliciting a giggle from you. He broke away from your lips, ghosting over your jaw before settling on your neck in a spot he had yet to leave a mark on. You traced your hands down his muscular chest and over the prominent grooves of his abs, settling on his waistband and undoing the loose bow he’d tied. Pushing his sweats and boxers down at the same time, he kicked them off, letting them fall over the foot of the bed and land on the ground with a soft thud. His cock audibly slapped against his lower abdomen, the head red and already leaking precum. Reaching down with one hand, you wrapped your fingers around his length, spreading the sticky fluid around his sensitive tip with your thumb causing him to rut into your hand. You pumped your hand a few times slowly, using your fingers to press against that one extra sensitive spot right under the head, making Tom gasp against your neck.

You could feel Tom’s hands reach down to push your legs open for him to settle between them, the tip of his dick mere inches from your entrance. He was now out of reach, and he hissed softly at the loss of contact between your hand and his very erect cock. His arms rested on the bed on either side of your head, hot breath fanning over your face. His eyes were half-open and glossy as he looked down at you, writhing under him, waiting for him to fill you.

“Ready?” he whispered against your lips. Since day one, Tom always asked for explicit consent before, always making sure that you were comfortable. You loved it. It was never a mood killer, in fact, it made the whole interaction that much more intimate.

“Yeah,” you whispered breathlessly as you gazed up at him, nodding slightly. You tilted your head up to catch his lips in another kiss, full of passion and desire and love. God, you loved this man so much it would surely be the death of you.

After a few moments, he pulled back, looking you directly in the eyes and whispering a quiet “okay”, one of his hands moving down to hold his dick, running the tip through your soaked folds, grazing your clit, and causing you to jump at the unexpected feeling. Guiding himself in, he slowly slid into your drenched core until his hips were flush with the backs of your thighs. Tom’s eyes fluttered shut, and his eyebrows furrowing as a exhale of pleasure left his lips at the feeling of your walls tightening around him. “Fuck...” He grunted through clenched teeth.

He waited like that, buried inside your tight pussy, letting you adjust to the feeling of his cock inside you. And he’d wait like that until you would tell him to move. While he waited his lips ran over your neck and shoulder, leaving soft, loving kisses in their wake. After a few moments, you tugged on his messy hair, signaling him to look up at you. “Move,” you pleaded quietly before he pressed his lips to yours and adjusted himself to begin moving. Your eyes fell closed as he pulled his hips back slowly, until he was almost out, then snapped them forward in one fluid motion, causing you to yelp. He eased into a steady rhythm, rocking his hips, hitting that one spot deep inside you that made you yelp every time the tip of his dick hit it.

“Y/n/n, open your eyes.” He whispered sweetly against your skin as he left soft kisses on your cheek and jawline. You complied, letting your eyes slowly flutter open and look up at the ceiling, Tom soon emerging from the crook of your neck to meet your gaze, smiling. You took this opportunity to admire him as he hovered above you. His short hair was a sweaty, tousled mess, sticking up in odd directions from your fingers tugging at it earlier. His thin, pink lips were now swollen and darker from your fervent kisses. His freckled cheeks were flushed a deep pink. His dark brown eyes made you melt, looking down at you in a way that made you forget about everything else going on in the world. It was just the two of you, in the home you shared, making love.

You snaked your arms around Tom’s toned body, your nails leaving crescent-shaped indents on his shoulder blades, pulling him as close as you could get him as his thrusts sped up, becoming sloppier. His hand slipped between your bodies and rubbed rapid circles around your already overly sensitive clit. Gasps and moans fell from both of your lips. You could feel the familiar knot already tightening in your abdomen as his thrusts became more erratic. He knew you were close, your walls clenching around him as he relentlessly pounded into you, chasing his own high to catch up to you.

“Tom- Tommy I’m close.” Your words were music to his ears, he knew he wouldn’t be able to last much longer. He dropped his head back into the crook of your neck, littering your skin with kisses to muffle the loud moans that threatened to spill from his throat that he knew would certainly annoy the neighbors. One of your hands traveled up the base of his neck into his hair, closing your finger in his curls, pulling on them gently the way you knew drove him crazy.

“I know,” he panted against your neck, “me too.” His fingers never stilled, continuing to rub fast, tight circles against your clit until you crashed over the edge, the knot in your stomach snapping for the third time that night, pleasure-filled spasms racking your body, and loud moans spilling from your lips. A few more rough thrusts and the muscles in his shoulders tensed, his body lurching against yours as he came, releasing inside you. His lips found yours as you both tumbled over the precipice in unison, one of his arms wrapping around your waist and snaking up your back, his hand settling between your shoulder blades. He held you up like that, your back slightly arched and your breasts pressed against his chest as he continued to sporadically buck up inside you, riding out both your highs until he couldn’t support his weight anymore and he collapsed on top of you, still inside you.

You pulled him close, wrapping your arms around his neck as he gently placed his forehead against yours, both of you panting as if you had just run a marathon. You both stay like that for a few moments, chests meeting with every inhale, breathing the same air. Groggily, your eyes open only to find Tom already looking at you, his dark chocolate eyes soft and a small smile gracing his lips as he admired you in your post-orgasm bliss. Your cheeks were flushed, dark eyes hidden behind half-closed lids, and lips a deep pink and kiss-swollen.

"What?" You asked, placing your hand on the side of his face, stroking his cheekbone delicately with your thumb. He leaned deeper into your touch, relishing in the feeling of your soft hand caressing his face.

"Nothing," he muttered, "You're just amazing."

"Amazing in bed?" You asked sarcastically, a cheeky grin spreading across your lips, "Thanks, I try."

"No-" he starts, before seeing the bewildered look on your face and correcting himself, "well, yes, you are, but I meant in general. I love you so much Y/n, I don't know what I'd do without you."

You looked up at him in surprise. Moments of vulnerability like this were not uncommon between the two of you. You both frequently told the other how much they meant to you, how you couldn’t imagine life without the other person. And yes, this did usually occur right after sex, when both your emotions and hormones were at a high. No matter how many times he said things like this you could never get used to the sound of his voice saying those words to you.

“How did I get so lucky?” You wondered aloud, continuing to run your thumb over his cheek.

“Dunno,” he said cheekily, shrugging his shoulders, “good karma?”

Your melodic laugh filled his ears, your eyes closing as you giggled at his stupid joke. He leaned down to kiss you, cutting off your laughing. Your arms wound around his neck again as he deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue past your lips, making you groan. After a moment he pulled back, placing a kiss on your cheek and gently pulling out of you, flopping onto the bed next to you. He pulled you into his side, holding you in his arms. You nuzzled your head against his chest, his heart still beating rapidly under your hand. You two laid like that for several minutes, sweaty and warm, stuck to one another.

Your eyelids began getting heavy and you almost slipped off into a deep sleep before Tom shifted under you, gently rolling you off him and getting up to go to the bathroom. You could hear water running for a few seconds before shutting off and Tom emerged from the doorway holding a washcloth. He sat down on the edge of the bed and used the warm towel to clean up the mess between your legs before setting it down on the bedside table. He leaned down, kissed your forehead, and mumbled something against your temple. "Wanna go again?"

Your eyes shot open. He flashed you a crooked smile, raising his one messy eyebrow suggestively. Is he serious?

“Tom, I’m so tired-” you started, but he cut you off with a peck on the lips, short and sweet.

“That’s not what I asked love,” his voice was lower, seductive, as he maneuvered to hover over you again, his head dipping into the crook of your neck to lay more kisses down on your already heavily marked skin. He is serious, oh my god.

You hesitated for a moment before caving in, “Yeah…” you trailed off as he nipped at your collarbone, “but I have no energy anymore.”

“That’s alright darling,” he whispered into your ear, sending chills down your spine at the pet name that he knew would drive you crazy, “you just relax and let me do all the work.”

-

A/N: The amount of times Grammarly told me I had errors when I was writing this when I didn’t was ridiculous oml lol but hey it’s done!! I’m really proud of it obviously I will keep writing and will get better, but hey my first fic and I don’t hate it. anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this, requests are open right now so if you would like a short lil blurb feel free to send me something! 

Tags: @hollandprkr​ @itstaskeen​

[apenapaperandadoofus]

college au (spicy)

Yoosung x MC? 👀

Oop I see you there nonny :0

MM college AU (Yoosung x MC) nsfw-ish wink wonk

Warnings: uhhh lote of fluff and also sum drinking so uh yeah (idk if I should put it as a warning but there ya go anyway, just in case!)

You bitterly congratulated yourself as you looked at the text message you just received from your classmate.

Basically you had overslept, playing games too late at night(or should we say morning? You went to sleep at 4am and your class was at 7!) You didn't hear your alarm and basically missed your first day of class!

To be fair, you had planned on going to sleep at 12, but all of a sudden this bastard stole your loot and you wanted v e n g e a n c e

Sadly you weren't able to find the guy and had to cool off by playing a few rounds of LOLOL and just massacring the enemy team. Still, you swore to get back that amazing item you had just received.

The thing was, the first day of class, your professor had actually given everyone a group project! Yes, he was one of those teachers -_-

Since you hadn't been there you weren't able to group with your friend, and you had gotten paired up with people you didn't really know. You weren't super good at making friends, so you were getting a bit nervous, and you also didn't want to loose the whole percentage of the work, since you did have to get good grades!

A few weeks later, the group (who had already made a group chat a few days after you missed class, there were a total of five people with you included) and you all decided to meet at the coffee shop near the campus to talk about the project. It was due in two days, and you already had most of your part of the work done thankfully! We stan being responsible (a/n says the procastination queen LMFAO SORRY)

When you made it to the coffee shop, you only saw a total of two people there. One of them was a plain looking dude, with brown hair wearing some purple glasses, and the other one was a blonde boy who immediately made you think of a golden retriever! The two guys looked up at you, with the blonde one immediately standing up and introducing himself.

"Hi! Uhm, my name is Yoosung! Yoosung Kim! Nice to meet you!"

Oh my goodness he's adorable... though where have I heard that name before...?

You introduced yourself and told him your name, replying that it was nice to meet him too!

As you sat down beside him, you couldn't help but sneak glances in his directions. He was very very cute, his purple eyes looking all happy and excited all the time. Yet sometimes you could see a hint of.... hopelessness. You wondered why.

It turned out, that the other group members had suddenly called in sick, or said they had a family emergency. Not only that, but the plain guy with glasses gave you both an usb and mumbled that he actually had to go somewhere else today, but that he had his part of the presentation done and was in the usb.

Of course that did not make any of you happy at all. Yoosung looked as if he was about to either cry or punch someone, maybe both, and you werw mad that your teammates were so useless. But you tried to stay positive, I mean hey, now you get to spend time with the cute guy alone!

The two of you seemed to be the only ones to have done any work, the glasses dude's presentation was....let's just say wrong information and a white background with a yellow sans font. No I'm not joking.

"AGHHH this is impossible! How are we going to get all this work done in two days!? This is three people's part of the project, and it's not exactly short! Were gonna be here all afternoon!" Yoosung sobbed, as he covered his face and laid his head on the table.

"H-hey it's alright! We can uh...we can do it! I'm sure it won't take that long!"

It did take that long.

In face, it was 3am when you finished and had to leave the place because it was closing, so you had to go to your room and finish it there.

As soon as you were done, you both let out a tired victory yell and you fell back on your bed.

"Oh,hey Y/N, could I borrow your computer for a second? I just gotta check something that can't really wait..."

"Sure!" You gave him a thumbs up and rolled on your side to face Yoosung who was probably checking his emails.

You were not prepared for the scream that he suddenly let out.

"YOOSUNG!? IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT!?"

He flinched when he heard your voice and slowly got up from the chair, pointing a finger shakily in your direction.

"Y-you....y-y-you a-are....TortillasRock320?"

You immediately sat up upon hearing the username you had made when you were 13 suddenly being said. Then you nodded. "How...how do you know me...?"

Yoosung's face became paler and you could see him start fidgeting a little before he pointed at himself.

"S-Supeman...Y-Yoosung...."

You immediately let out a gasp, shocking the poor boy and you stood up. "YOU!! YOU STOLE ALL MY LOOT IN LOLOL!"

"IMSOSORRYIDIDNTMEANTOITWASANACCIDENTITRIEDGIVINGITBACKBUTYOUATTACKEDMEANDTHENIJUSTPANICKEDANDLOGGEDOFF."

"I...ugh....dammit. it just had to be you didn't it?" You rubbed your temples and then Yoosung looked up from the ground.

"U-uhm...I could give it back...and uh...maybe get you some food?"

"Food isn't gonna cut it, as much as I love it."

"W-well how about we go and eat in a few days f-for now and then uh...we couldddd....think of something else!" He looked at you with a big smile and who could say no to that face?

So you exchanged phone numbers. It was just meant to try and see whenever the two of you could meet up for some food, but then it became into LOLOL discussions, and just talks about everything and anything. He talked a out his family, his friends, and his struggled with school, with you eventually telling him about your struggles as well. Before you knew it, the two fo you were speaking every single day, at any hour, and you had found out so much about each other. Not only that, but you had eventually become attracted to him.

Finally, vacations came! And the two of you decided to celebrate it by going to a bar with your friends! But then the two of you left because there was too many people, so you bought some beer and went to a nearby internet cafe to play....you guessed it! LOLOL

The two of you had such an AMAZING time, taking shots everyone one of you got killed, or destroyed a tower, or killed one of the dragons, or....well eventually it was just you two drinking and playing.

When you were done it was about 1am, and the cafe closed so you decided to go to Yoosung's place to maybe play there. But then, as the two of you drunkenly made it up the elevator, you suddenly remembered that Yoosung owed you from stealing your loot!

"Hic! Y-Yoosung...l-listen to me y-you brat. You oweeee me a wishhhh."

"Huh?.....oh wait...yeah I d-do right? Bec- hic! Becauzeee I stole your loot last t-time right??"

"I k-know what I want. L-lets just go to y-your apartment first....hic!" You smiled evilly as you thought about what you would do.

You grabbed Yoosung's hand, and he led you towards his place. After laughing and fumbling with his keys for a solid 2 minutes, Yoosung managed to open his door! He mockingly bowed and said "Y-you firstttt~" which made you courtesy and giggle replying "Wh-what a gentleman!"

You waited for Yoosung to close the door, and then he turned around to look at you with a big smile on his face.

"S-sooo Y/N! What...what do you want me t-to do?" He asked.

You made your way towards him and smirked. Then before Yoosung could reply he let out a help as you grabbed him by the hair and made him kneel in front of you, in all fours. "Yoosung. I want you to be my....servant for a day. I want you to do anything I ask you to."

Yoosung gulped and shyly looked up at you, his entire face red. "I...I should? Anything?"

You chuckled. "Yes. You owe me remember? That was a pretty rare item, the one you stole for me. So you should....pay...for what you've done, don't you think so?" He slowly nodded and you pet his head. "Good boy~ Now how about we start by....you taking your clothes off."

Yoosung's eyes widened, but you tightened your grip on his hair and he slowly started undoing his shirt buttons. Then he looked up at you again. "U-uhm...Wh-what else should I do...?"

"Mmm how about you take your pants off now? And do it quickly Yoosung, we don't have all day."

He nodded and took his pants off, kneeling in the ground only in his boxers, and then, in the heat of the moment (you don't exactly knew what took over you) you pressed your foot between his legs, making Yoosung let out a surprised gasp.

"Oho~ You like this don't you? You're hard." You chuckled and pressed harder between his legs, and Yoosung let out a moan.

"I'm...ngh! S-sorry, I d-don't really understand why it's...it's like that uhm.. I'm sorry."

You chuckled and knelt beside Yoosung, cupping his face in your hands. "Yoosung you don't need to apologize. It must feel hot down there...how about we make you feel good?"

Yoosung became even redder, but he looked to the side and covered his mouth with the back of his hand, shyly nodding at you to continue.

You smiled and took Yoosung's underwear off, his member already hard, and slowly, you started licking the tip making Yoosung moan.

"MNGHHH! Y-Y/N!!!"

"Mhmm? What ish it Yoosung? Mmph..." You replied, looking up at him while having his member in your mouth.

"Y-you're....s-sucking...it! Ah! I- I'm....if you do it with your tongue like that...I'm going to...-mmmgh!".

He's adorable, you thought, as you sucked harder and harder. Soon, Yoosung reached his climax, and you mischievously smirked. "I'm glad you enjoyed it...now how about we go to the main course? I deserve to feel good too, you know?" You said, as you took your jeans and underwear off.

"H-huh?! N-no, wait I just ca-AHHHHN~"

Yoosung gasped as you slowly took him in, straddling him. You tangled your fingers in his hair while Yoosung gripped your hips, his hands trembling.

"I'm....I'm moving now, ok Yoosung?"

Yoosung moaned as you started grinding your hips against him, your hips moving quickly up and down on their own. You laughed and leaned your head back, making Yoosung look confusedly up at you.

"You're just so adorable Yoosung!....I really like you, you know?"

Yoosung stared at you, and then he quickly grabbed your head and pulled you in for a rough kiss.

"I...mhm...I've liked you...too...mmm...for a very...very long time...Y/N." He whispered between kisses. "Agh! Y-you suddenly tightened up, down there....mhm it...it feels really good." He said as he looked at you, his eyes teary and full of lust.

Goddamn this man.

"Yoosung...I...I like you too!" You felt your face heat up a bit, and Yoosung quickly pulled away to look at you. Then, he tightened his grip on your hips and quickly started moving up and down

"Y-Yoosung!!!! Y-you're moving t-too fast! Mhm!!! I can't!! Too fast! Too fast!"

"Y/N...Y/N...." He whispered, burying his face in the crook of your neck, as his thrust became faster and harder.

"I'm going to...." You gasped.

"M-me too! Let's...let's do it...together!"

You pulled Yoosung in for a kiss and the two of you moaned as you both reached your climax.

The two of you held each other for a bit, until Yoosung got cold and he carried you to his bed. The two of you kissed each other for a bit, before falling asleep.

The next morning you found Yoosung on the corner of his room, his ears all red while he hugged his knees.

"Uhm....Yoosung! Mor...ning...?"

He flinched as he heard you and then he slowly looked up. Before you could ask him what in the diddly darn heck his ass was doing in there, he got up and bowed.

"I'm so sorry!!! I'm sorry about, about yesterday I was drunk, and then I just got really excited and kept going even after you said it was too fast, and I also said all that weird stuff and I'm just, I'm really really sorry!!"

You were taken aback for a minute before you smiled and made your way towards him, making him look up at you. "Yoosung...you don't have to apologize for anything. I know we....we were a bit uh...well we were really drunk but... I still stand by everything I said yesterday. I do like you. I...I like everything about you Yoosung."

His face became red, bue eventually Yoosung slowly and shyly smiled at you. "You...you really do?"

"Yessir."

"Heh....I'm...I'm so happy Y/N...I really like you too!"

He cupped your cheek and the two of you slowly got closer and closer until your lips were touching in a chaste kiss. When you finished Yoosung chuckled, still red in the face. "So uhmm...does that mean we're a...couple now?"

You smiled and poked his cheek. "Yup! And there's no going back after this, you hear me?"

"Y-yes! Of course I'd never think of it!"

"Good! Now how about we go back to bed...and have a little fun hmm?~"

Yoosung smiled and pulled you towards him, smiling. "That doesn't sound too bad...and we're on vacation right now, so I don't see any reason we shouldn't stay in bed and do...that all day."

You laughed and Yoosung picked you up bridal style, gently throwing you in his bed and pinning you down.

The two of you officially became a couple that day! Yayyy!

Also btw you got an A- in the assignment so good work fellas ;)

The end!

[beautifully-tuan]

A.C.A.B.

here you go anon :) hope you like it

cop!Mark Tuan x badgirl!Reader smut Warnings: explicit sexual content, a bit political  lol idk, crime, cursing

Masterlist

a/n : to the anon who requested this scenario, i hope that this is what you wanted. it turned out way darked than i had imagined, and a bit complicated too but yeah. i hope you'll enjoy and don't hesiate to check out my other works and to request if you'd want me to write something for you. ♡

You were a very private person, and you loved that about you. You took pride in the mysterious, edgy and unapproachable vibe you gave off, only a few people knowing the most sordid details, the dirtiest secrets of your life.

But there was Mark Tuan the cute police officer who wouldn't have to know so much about you if he wasn't so hardworking, always getting in your way, always there to catch you when you fall, in the most ironic way possible, almost as if he was chasing after you. Unlike most people, he knew the things you did during the nighttime, and had even arrested you for them. Of course, you were always set free when the morning came, your deeds never grave enough for you to endure more than a lonely night at the police station. But those nights weren't exactly lonely. Nine times out of ten, Mark Tuan the cute police officer was in charge of you. As a good cop, he was obligated to ask you some questions, try to get something out of your quiet, stubborn self. With you answering his questions with silly remarks or other questions, he'd never succeeded.

- "Why did you tag someone's house with spraypaint?"

- "You're really cute, you know that?"

- "How can you be wandering outside at such late hours?"

- "Tss, that ain't no question to ask a young lady."

- "Do you really enjoy getting in trouble?"

- "Do you really enjoy endorsing and perpetrating brutality as a job?"

You weren't exactly what you could call a "cop-friendly" person, and to you, Mark was in the enemy camp. But he really was cute, and teasing him amused you so much that you found yourself enjoying his company - if you could call it like that. Seeing his ears redden in exasperation, and his teeth digging into the flesh of his bottom lip when you got on his thin nerves was oddly satisfying. You would lie if you said you'd never imagined his teeth sinking into your own bottom lip as he'd do things to you on the interrogation table. And sometimes, on nights when your teasing went really far, you could swear the sexual tension between you was palpable in the air. But fantasies were all they were, and reality had always settled a fair enough distance between you, a distance that neither of you dared to decrease. As far as you were concerned, Mark Tuan just made your nights at the police station less lonely, and he made you laugh. You found it amazing, almost poetic, how you would always bump into each other, constantly getting in each other's way, as if it was meant to be. You had hoped to contemplate that thought again next time you'd spend a night in his company at the police station... You had no idea your paths would cross again sooner, at the most unexpected place that was his very house.

After a successful protest you'd participated in, you'd gone to have drinks with some friends to celebrate. They told you that, despite the protest being a success and the government's detrimental project abandoned, a lot of protesters were injured due to police brutality. Normally, you wouldn't have overreacted, that kind of thing being normal, almost conventional. But tonight, you were tipsy, adrenalized, and pissed, so you'd decided to pay the police department a little visit.

You weren't looking for Mark specifically. In fact, you weren't looking for anyone specifically. How could you know which house he lived in when you were literally in a police dorm-town? Your friends called it the "police district". You'd never felt bold enough to sneak in there, but again, you were tipsy and adrenalized. Nothing seemed impossible to you. It was around midnight, and it wasn't difficult to sneak into the first house in which the lights were out. You were quite experienced in this field. As you had expected, they didn't bother with security installations, too arrogant and full of themselves to think anyone would stand a chance against them. You didn't care. You didn't come here to fight anyway. You just wanted to annoy them a little, like you always did.

You hopped inside the house from the window, which, fortunately but unsurprisingly, wasn't locked. You let your bag fall to the ground of what seemed to be the kitchen, and snooped around, looking for anything to break or to mess with. You tried to make as little noise as possible, but your ears were buzzing from the adrenaline. You were probably louder than you thought, or Mark's hearing was very developed... You barely registered his footseps approaching. When he burst into the room, hair discheveled from sleep and dressed in nothing but sweatpants, you were thunderstruck. You jaw nearly dropped at the sight of him, the only thought floating in your mind being "meant to be".

He looked just as flabbergasted, and you laughed. Your laugh then turned into a smirk.

- "Well well... hello, sleeping beauty."

Mark cleared his throat, visibly trying to hide how much your presence affected him.

- "What- what the hell are you doing here?"

- "Umm... I was hanging around, and I thought why not pay you a little visit?" you said, still smirking.

You were lying, and he knew it. There was no way in hell you could've figured out where he lived. If he was honest, he was also starting to believe this situation was a prank pulled on him by fate. He would've turned you in if it wasn't for that thought, as crazy as it was.

- "This doesn't occur every other day, does it?" you teased, feeling bolder than ever after seeing his hesitation. "Why don't we take advantage of this great opportunity and have some fun, what do you think, officer?"

Free from any more hesitations, his response was immediate. Who would've thought that, one night, you'd find yourself trapped between Mark Tuan the cute police officer's body and the wall of his kitchen, as his lips crashed onto yours... You'd imagined what kissing him would feel like more than once, but it was nothing compared to reality. His lips were soft, but the kiss was ruthless, letting out months and months of sexual tension, a persistent need waiting to finally be satisfied.

Impatiently, Mark lifted your shirt and threw it across the room. You held onto his shoulders and locked your legs around his waist, while he left numerous marks down your neck. You moaned and tugged at his hair, eliciting a growl from the back of his throat and causing him to press his growing bulge harder against you. In the blink of an eye, your bra fell to the floor and he immediately started toying with your bare breasts. His lips and fingers worked on your nipples, and you struggled not to moan to loudly, not wanting the entire police district to hear how worked up you were getting.

Soon enough, Mark was carrying you towards his room and pushed you down on the bed, lips never leaving yours. When he finally separated your bodies to catch his breath - and help you catch yours - he ridded you of your jeans. His eyes darkened at the sight of the wet patch that your arousal had formed on the thin fabric of your panties.

- "Fuck" he breathed out. "Soaking wet just for me."

He spread your legs further and pushed your panties to the side before plunging a finger into you. You moaned loudly at the pleasurable intrusion, your head thrown back into the mattress and eyes falling shut. He slowly pumped his finger in and out of your core, enjoying the view of you squirming underneath him. The sounds you made were driving him wild and, wanting to hear more, he added another finger and sped up his movements.

- "Oh my God!"

You were a moaning and whimpering mess, his fingers hitting all the right spots inside you. They felt delicious, but you needed more of him. Trying your hardest to speak through the intense pleasure he was giving you, you uttered:

- "Mark, please" he stopped and looked up at you with lust-filled eyes. "I need you."

He removed his fingers and pulled down his pants and boxers, his angry cock slapping against his stomach. He hovered above you and aligned his member to your entrance. But, suddenly, as he was about to give you what you were craving, he reached for something on his nightstand. Through the dim lights filtering from outside, you barely caught sight of something metallic before you felt something cold wrap around your wrist. Your smirk reappeared as you realized what he was doing. He looked at you intensely, asking you for permission to continue with his eyes, and you nodded, more than thrilled and - somehow - even more turned on. He returned your smile and finished cuffing your hands to the headboard.

Before you could say anything, Mark knocked the breath out of your lungs when he slid inside you in one sharp thrust. You moaned in unison, relishing the intense satisfaction you were feeling. He gave you enough time to adjust to his impressive size, while trying to gather some self-control at how good your tight walls felt around him. He pulled out almost entirely before crashing his hips into yours again, making you cry out his name. He repeated his motions several times, slowly, making you agonize. You pulled on your restraints, wanting to touch him, hold on to him, tryig to lift your hips for more. Seeing how desperate you were, Mark picked up his pace, fucking into you hard and fast, making the bed squeak. Mark Tuan the cute police officer was long gone, replaced by the animalistic man sweating and grunting on top of you, occasionally biting your bottom lip just like you'd always wanted him to.

Your climax was fast-approaching, and Mark could sense it from the way you clenched around his cock. He gripped your hip tighter, possessively, while his other arm went down so he could lower himself and press his body flush against yours. You lifted your legs and locked them higher around his waist as a response, making him hit you from a new angle that had you seeing stars.

- "Right there" he whispered sinfully into your ear when you moaned particularly loud for him.

The sound of his deep, raspy voice was all you needed to fall over the edge, screaming and chanting his name like a mantra, like a "thank you". He continued his thrusts, riding out your high while chasing his own. He wouldn't last long with your walls clenching uncontrollably around him, viciously gripping his member. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, trying to muffle his high-piched moans, because he was dangerously close. After a few more sloppy thrusts, he pulled out, a string of curses leaving his lips as he came all over your abdomen.

The sight alone was enough to turn you on again, and you almost suggested a round two, but you were exhausted, and you were sure he was too. He released you from the handcuffs and handed you a wet towel to clean up. Afterwards, he collapsed next to you and, just a few seconds later, you were both fast asleep.

The next morning when Mark woke up, there was no one beside him. He looked around, wondering if your clothes were still there, but they were gone. He blinked, slightly overtaken. Did he dream what'd happened last night? No, he didn't. He could still smell you in his bedsheets. Then where did you go? Probably home, or somewhere else, who knows. You could be anywhere. Mark didn't really mind, because he could feel it in his guts that you'd meet again someday, probably during one of your reckless nights, and you'd end up with him at the police station again.

He didn't know it yet, but you left another, visible trace of your passage at his house. If he had been careful, if he had paid a little more attention, maybe he would've noticed. He should've known better. He should've remembered that you had come here to do something in the first place. He should've realized that you actually loved getting in trouble, because you caused even more trouble that way. When he would leave his house for work this morning and discover what you had done, he would scoff and shake his head in disbelief, but he would admit that he was impressed. All over his façade wall, crossing his window and front door, you had sprayed in big red letters:

"A.C.A.B - ALL COPS ARE BASTARDS"

[kyunsies]

madch madch <3 hello love!

how are you my love :D YAY I'M SO HAPPY YOUR COLD IS GONE OMG!! Do you feel properly better now? the sleep nose cloggs is the worst, i'm super glad it's gone for you.

YES for a whole month - like it makes me miss summer holidays when i was a kid and you could take the time off like that. do you ever feel like you didn't appreciate that stuff like when you were a kid? like being able to have long sleeps and stuff or just running about the mall with no consequence? we really do have the same situation going on! i just want to be able to buy my mum a better house and a better car and nicer holidays and stuff? like that small stuff which sounds a bit boring but like, idk that means more to me than the overly flashy stuff? like i'd love to be a mum one day but seeing how much my mum does sometimes i'm like... IDK if I could hack it you know?

ah wow ok! my school i really get what you say about catholic guilt as it's super similar from my cultural influences as well? YES like, it's bad to think too well of yourself, or just that you shouldn't do it? or you're gonna end up inviting bad things if you do think too much of yourself? i get really confused about it sometimes. like - almost like there's a difference between self love and thinking too well of yourself? and i can appreciate myself without ever thinking i'm too good at something etc? does that make sense? idk i'm worried about self love it if means it makes my ego bad and over arrogant and all that stuff? I GET YOU tho - it is that line between contentment and like feeling yourself to the point it's ... ick? it's hard isn't it?

THAT FACT STEALING TOILET PAPER WAS YOU USING BAD LANGUAGE omg do you see what i mean you are just so so so so pure of heart and sweet and thank you for being so kind <3 are you looking forward to going back to uni in some ways? or is it all general *internal screaming*? remember you're mega and amazing <3

omg we literally had a HUGE HEARTWAVE to the point where I have so many bites everywhere - i'm glad you've had a bunch of sun but YAY TINY TINY SQUAD!!!!!!! I AM 5'1" so yay to us being tiny together <3 I am always the tiny one too! i used to hate it but i like my height more now - and like the fact i can fit into kids stuff on sale? or like shoe sizes not being a problem? but then sometimes the sizing is a bit weird like you said before! YOU GET IT WITH THE BF JEANS. It is a neverending quest RN. I've figured out the size I can really get for them but so few stores make it :/ we will see how this saga unfolds. do you lampshade a lot with clothes? i find i always end up doing that even if i don't mean to haha XD

OKAY SO JO MALONE I like the smell of pomegrante noir but IDK if I'd wear it but the lime and basil is another fave of mine. I just really really don't like musky smells I'm with you with the citrus! like, stuff that reminds me of summer and fresh stuff? musk makes me feel like i'm walking into like a noughties teen clothing store i just can't hasjdakshd. like i hate lynx smells? WHY DO BOYS WEAR IT?

AHHHH OMG ok mutual blue moon love YES HELLO <3 <3 <3 I ADORE lofi jazz garage I honestly die/simp for that sound. like they dabbled a bit more with those vibes in OOAK and that's why I loved the new album so much I guess? just so so so beautiful. i just wanna drown in like the sounds of moonlight and suggestions of other things by candlelight or long city drives? does that make sense? ugh LOVE IT. getting up in my feels here hahahajsdkhasda

YAY HI TO YOUR MOM <3 I hope she's having a beautiful beautiful day too and that's getting rest as well! never worry about getting back to me late, I know you're so busy and that's always okay, love you lots and lots <3 <3 <3

-💥xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

MY BEST PAL <33 hello my sweet, how have u been doing these days? i know i must sound like a record on repeat, but i miss you all the days that i don't hear from you, i'm always thinking about how you are doing ;____;

but YES after like ,,,,,,2 and a half weeks of being sick with the cold i am FINALLY over it :') it's not so much the stuffy nose during the daytime that annoys me it was the freaking clogged nose at night for the love of GOD i hate breathing with my mouth open it's so gross ;___; and sore throats ......... honestly i wouldn't wish a sore throat on my worst enemy lol like i'd rather have the flu for 2 days than a sore throat for a whole week ldkfjsdkf i'm such a baby <3

about being on holiday as a kid LOL IT WAS !!!!! the absolute best time !!! i know at some point we need to be functioning human beings in society lol but honestly at the age of like 13 where ur too young to work but u can't drive yourself anywhere ?? it's the best time (besides the driving part lol) bc you literally do not have one ounce of responsibility it's so great ;____; it's good to work and help ppl but i miss that too ....... and about our experiences with our single moms !!! pls this is all i want for her lol ; like u said nothing overly flashy but once i'm established i would like for her to live comfortably without being at the hands of someone else so i wouldn't mind like buying her a nice apartment ;____; when she was younger she traveled all the time and once i was born she coudn't do that with me bc she simply didn't have the money so she's always telling me after i graduate we should take a little trip to europe or go out west :( i think that would be so great :(((

OH GOOD OLD CATHOLIC GUILT LOL listen ..... there are a lot of things that the catholic church has done in the past that i don't agree with at all and stuff but ;____; i'm still grateful in some aspects bc my moral compass is like . a super big part of my life and it guides me to lead me away from decisions that aren't the best for me lol and i'm really grateful again for my mom for sending me to catholic school all these years :') and i think it's good to have this sense of humbleness (i hate ppl that are so boastful about themselves like truly no one cares sdjfslkf) but i do agree that catholic guilt can sometimes be a hinderance like i keep on saying i wish i had at least one ounce of self dignity SDLKFJ idk like u said it's a fine line between being humble and having no self worth :') i guess at the end of the day u need ppl surrounding u who make u feel like u are worth something and that it's okay to think positively about urself <3

honestly babe no ,,,,,, i'm not looking forward to going back to my final year of uni at all ;____; i don't know when i got like this but nursing school has literally scarred me to the point where i'm so anxious to even finish this year :( the ICU, my preceptorship, exams, finding and landing a job successfully before i graduate ???? i want it to all be over with so quickly but i'm so nervous for the future ahead of me ;____; will i get to where i am meant to be ???? i'm going to sOB IM NOT READY FSKDJFDS .............................

YAY TINY SQUAD LOL SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS !!!!!!! everyone on here is like boo hoo i'm 5'3 and im like ?????? ur inching near normal height shut up ?? SDKFJ :') truly shopping is so hard literally u can kill pants every fitting u perfectly unless u hem them and omg ??? pls explain to me what lampshading is LOL I HAVE NEVER HEARD THAT TERM BEFORE ?? :o !!!!!!!!! but also yes almost all of my sneakers are kids shoes LOL JOKES ON TALL PPL WE CAN GET THEM FOR CHEAPER <3

and about jo malone !!!!!!!!!!! the lime and basil one i've had my eye on it omg !!!!!!! bc i love love the smell of basil :) i'm actually visiting my grandparents this weekend and we are going to the mall so i'm going to finally pick up a new scent !!! i've literally had the one i told u about for 2 years LOL but i also agree everyone loves musky scents for some reason but i don't lsdkfjs i feel like those heavy scents "weigh me down" ????? do u feel that way too? it's hard to explain :')

ALSO OMG OKAY you are my blue moon ride or die now <3 have never met a mbb yet who loves blue moon as much as i do LOL it's just *mwah* perfection ........... absolute perfection like it fits all moods its fresh its lowkey it's perfect and YES YES i felt heaven kinda had the same vibe ??? not so much the dark garage jazz sound but more of the light and airy garage jazz sound LKDFJS i know that sounds dumb but it's lighter and happier but has that same lofi sound i'm obsessed with <3

okay bubbie but YEAH mom and i are healthy now we are in good spirits and we are hanging in there !! again i'm sorry for getting back so late hun really i always want to respond right away but like i always say quality over any short answer hhhh <3 i hope u have a lovely rest of the week if i don't hear from u soon okay? always sending love and hugs xxxxxxxxx !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3

[void-tiger]

Tagged by @curiosity-killed (thanks for the tag!!)

roses or daisies:

DAISIES!!! They’re so simple and cheery have just as many colors and look delicate but are actually really tenacious? Also, how charming is Day’s Eye (and asters in general having the habit of facing eachother if they’re not turned towards the light--I think I have a picture of dahlias doing this from last autumn--and like. Star Flower. Okay, I’ll shut up now xD )

classical or lofi:

...okay so I admit I had to look this one up. But easily some of my favorite tracks are those Hidden Ones that bands plop onto their albums to fill up leftover space, but are often basically just scrapped recording or practice sessions? The bloopers and their creative process, basically. Cut to me googling and youtubing it and finding hiphop lofi and...yeah! Definitely Lofi.

(Classical vs OST and Modern Classical (that’s composed to be a lot more cinematic) just...really puts me on edge. It’s too mathematical...to put it nicely.)

So...yeah. Slow beats and something that sounds experimental or like a jamming session? It’s soothing and kinda ideal for background noise.

sunrises or sunsets:

Sunset. One, never ever gonna be a “morning person”. Forget it. Two, sunsets often have more dramatic colors and still make the landscape glow and you get to see stars peeping out vs fading. Also, y’know. I’m actually awake to appreciate it vs groggy and legit physically ill.

honey or lemon:

Honey as a condiment. Lemon for sweets flavor. (Baklava’s probably the exception...then again I haven’t had that many honey-flavored sweets, I guess? But Lemon-Poppyseed?? Definitely one of my favorites,)

coffee or tea:

Coffee. I adore tea service aesthetics and will someday probably collect them (especially the really quirky or earthen or blownglass ones vs the froufrou european ones)...buuuut, I just haven’t really had A Good Cuppa Tea much at all. There was this spiced tea I’ve had in Jordan that was AMAZING and I do like greentea (with...A LOT of sugar or honey...) but. I’ve just never really had tea. My family’s coffee drinkers, so the smell of coffee is nostalgic. (And yes, I’m basic enough that I prefer flavored, sweetened creamers; and my coffee brewed or spiced with, like, cinnamon and nutmeg, too. Or as a mocha.)

...I also have a Bad Habit of abandoning my Herbal “Teas” with the bags either left steeping too long (I have gotten better at using a timer) or while waiting for them to cool. And while I’d just really love it for Uncle Iroh to make me tea (provided he doesn’t get on my case about wanting sugar and maybe cream), the Times and Temperatures are just so dang fussy!! I...don’t think I have the patience for that.

enemies to lovers or friends to lovers:

Friends to Lovers. I just...don’t Get It with the sexual tension~ that seems to be the driving force behind enemies to lovers...I guess?? (That, and unless it’s literally on a battlefield, HARD PASS. I’ve had people try to blow off my complaints about getting repeatedly tormented as “he liiiiiikes you~” bullshit to ever be comfortable with it as anything but Legit Two Sides Of A Battle/Political Conflict. Sorry.)

But, Friends to Lovers? That Bond. And then the ...Oh. The domesticity and trust and safety. Also it is RIPE for Idiots to Lovers mutual pining xD

(bonus points if both parties decide ahead of time, “hey. even if dating doesn’t work out I still value your friendship in my life, so no pressure about ‘ruining things,’“ And then, of course, it does work out and there was nothing to be anxious about, after all.)

rainy days or sunny days:

...cop out but, overcast days with Soft Sunlight and Cloudbreaks?? I do like a clear skies sunny day, but, my eyes are also so sensitive to light that it can be painful. Rainy days can be soothing...but the rain has to be A Certain Way. Too heavy and with too much wind behind it and it can get me anxious. (My childhood home had Every Rain is Severe Weather...with no place to shelter. It’s gonna take awhile before i can appreciate it like i’d want.)

jupiter or mars:

Jupiter. GIANT. DEADLY. MARBLE (that wants to eeeaaat meeeee...) Also Pluto, and the jovian moons.

aphrodite or athena:

Athena!! She’s an ace icon, aight?? And also strikes me as...very, very Tired with everyone’s bullshit. Also...all the greek gods are kinda assholes. So. Yeah. She ain’t perfect and her characterization’s at the mercy of whatever myth in question, but generally she strikes me as practical and sensible and having Mercy...sometimes. As much as that group is capable of it, anyway...

rome or greece:

...probably Ancient Rome as a “ancient culture to explore but a YIKES (but. so is ancient greece.)” But visiting IRL in the present? Greece.

sun or moon:

Moon. I appreciate what the sun does and I do like feeling sunlight and all that...but, I’m also a night person. And I can look at the moon without risk of blindness and admire its corona and that rainbow corona you can see just a bit further out if you know where and how to look. BUT. The moon easily loses out to a starfield, especially if the light pollution and humidity are both low enough that ya get to actually see the milky way’s galaxy arm. (The irony that the sun IS our local star does not elude me.)

1920s or 1990s:

...neither?? 90s only slightly win out ‘cause I’m a ‘93 Kid and the 90s and 00s had some incredible toys and cartoons. And, idk. I still like overall pants and shorts. Always have. While a flapper dress would be “oooh pretty! starlight beading! Now OFF. Back to regular clothes for ‘Sporing or Comfy Lounging.”

blizzard or thunderstorm:

Blizzard. Also. Have you considered...thundersnow??

(Admittedly? I’ve also never been through a snowstorm that threatened by health&safety. The same cannot be said about thunderstorms when nearly every one could or would spawn tornados and severe straightline winds that could knock down trees and powerlines and sometimes even damage homes. While living in a home with NO safe place to shelter. Not even an interior closet or bathroom. NOT. FUN.)

midnight memories or made in the am:

...what?? [googles] ...OH...they’re...albums. UH. Neither?? (I don’t listen to them...?)

sage green or vanilla white:

Sage green. It’s kinda a nostalgic color somehow? Also. Just not a fan of monochrome...at all. I see it? I instantly want it to be a backdrop. Negative space. For COLOR. (jewel tones for whites/light neutrals and browns; NEONS for blacks and dark greys. Preference for Jewel Tones over Neons...wait. What was the question again??? OH YEAH..uh... I do like vanilla icecream? With rainbow sprinkles. Or...paired with hot fruit pie or cobbler. Or cookies. Um...yeah I should prolly shutup now. xD )

folklore or lover:

...I don’t...understand??? But...I like Folkslore as in...folklore??? Fairytales, Legends, Myths... (also, so frikkin ace I’m just. not ever gonna pick “lover”)

croissant or macaroon:

...why would you do this to me. I make a beeline for croissants because...Soft Flaky Buttery Bread. And they are So Good as a savory sandwich sorta thing. Easily better than english muffins or crumpets, tho biscuits have a fighting chance. But LIKE. Soft breads. My weakness as a kid.

...but a good macaroon?? It is so light and crisp and TINY and like?? how does it taste like coffee??? and berries????? (Too bad they are So EXPENSIVE. While even cheap croissants are almost always Good.)

ballgowns or pantsuits:

I like the aesthetics of a ballgown. But never the pricetag, I wouldn’t wanna live in that thing for more than an hour, tops (and. so much damn work!!) and I’m stuck looking at them Defying (boob) Physics and just...dying a little inside. With my rare It Pretty Want Pretty wilting with it. But...it’s rare that pantsuits really...look like anything. (They also look uncomfortable and yet another Wardrobe Disaster and Do I HAVE To??? if I think about...actually wearing them. But, Legs Free No Tripping...I guess??)

hades or zeus:

I only wanna EVER meet Zeus if I get to castrate the bastard and lock ‘im up where he’ll NEVER get back out. Hades, tho...I’m WATCHING you, Bub. (Why yes, I agree with Demeter on this one.)

platonic love or sensual love:

Platonic. Cuddling and Kissing are technically Sensual but, y’know what? They ain’t exclusive to sexual or romantic loves (and I just. really do not want kissing at all. MAYBE a quick kiss on the forehead or fingertips but LIKE. That’s it. And it’s cute af for...literally ANY Love Type.)

light academia or cottagecore:

Honestly? A mix between the two. Cottagecore with my charming little home with its overgrown flowerbed of wildflowers (and asters! All the asters) and produce grown in large pots or hanging baskets...and inside the walls are covered with overflowing shelves of books and knicknacks and other Neat Things. Oh, and naturally a tea service (might not actually have tea in it...) and tons of pillows and blankets, and lamps and lanterns Everywhere for warm and soft (and colorful) light to read by while music plays softly in the background. And the home smells like something I just made for Supper or Snacks, or like a food-scented candle.

-

Aaaaaand tagging @mckinlily @headspacedad @aairachnid @synergetic-prose and whoever else wants to play! No obligation to play if tagged.

[floraisann]

origin ↠ park seonghwa

➣ ateez my hero academia au

➣ warnings: eleven year old seonghwa is a whiny BRAT but besides that this do be a safe installment for bnha ateez

➣ genre: slice of life/ humor? idk hwa’s just chilling (until he’s not)

➣ word count: 1,123

➣ author note: “let’s keep the origin stories relatively short” well uh it seems the bratty tween seonghwa agenda disagrees lmfao ☠️ ANYWAYS here’s hwa’s origin story/why he wants to be a hero in the first place :) i’ve gotten bits and pieces of the remaining six somewhat completed as well so!!! let’s hope i can get those out just as quick because!!!!! i’m very excited for woosansang’s quirks bc i tried my hardest to make them rlly cool and 🥺🥺🥺 i rlly like theirs the most andnndxjjs OH YEAH like i said before too tbz will be getting their own bnha au in the same universe as this one (meaning ateez is class A and tbz is class B haha get it TheB = class B HAHA GET IT) so my fellow deobitiny do look out for that!! (i also only have changmin and eric’s quirks but shhh that’s fine)

➣ other origin stories: hongjoong

➣ hero interviews: hongjoong, [seonghwa]

➣ main masterlist

“Sometimes, when you get tired from life; when things are hard, come to me” - Lean On Me, SEVENTEEN

❅♩♬♩❅――

“When did you know you wanted to be a hero?”

Eleven years old. Seonghwa is eleven years old and miserable as he sits under the only semi-comfortable shade of a large oak tree. He’s still bitter as he harshly tugs handfuls of grass from their roots to stall time. He definitely did not want to attend his brother’s school’s back-to-school picnic— he really didn’t see the point, considering the fact that he wasn’t attending nor did he know anyone— yet despite his complaints, his parents dragged him along anyways.

“Hi Hwa-Hwa! Still sulking?” He looks up to see his older brother, a thin layer of sweat causing his forehead to glisten as he pants, clearly exhausted from playing with his friends. This was the third time he’d come over to check on Seonghwa through his mini breaks, yet so far, each time he’d failed at getting his junior to leave the headquarters he’s set up away from the cloudless sky.

“I’m not joining you and letting my skin melt off, if that’s what you’re gonna ask.” He says as a matter of fact. His brother lets out an exasperated sigh as he scratches the back of his neck.

“Yeah yeah, don’t think I forgot how much you hate the heat.” He reassures. “Hey instead of sulking about how the sun is your mortal enemy or whatever, why don’t you use your skill of being able to walk in the sun without getting instant sunburn to go over there and get ice cream?”

Seonghwa scrunches his nose in distaste as he contemplates his answer. “Is there salted caramel?”

His brother shrugs, swiftly taking his wallet out of his pocket, fishing for cash. “Probably.” He grins as he shakes a twenty dollar bill directly in front of Seonghwa’s face. “If there is, you can take this and buy yourself some ice cream if you buy me a bag of chocolate chip cookies as well.”

He quirks an eyebrow at his elder. “Yeah? And what if there isn’t salted caramel?”

The grin on his face only widens, much to Seonghwa’s chagrin.“Then you use all twenty on cookies and we share!” There was no way he was getting out of this errand.

❅♩♬♩❅――

With two bags of cookies in hand and visibly no salted caramel ice cream, Seonghwa doubts he’s hardly fifty meters from the comfortable shade of his beloved oak tree when he passes a crying toddler, and he stops, an expression of worry overtaking his features.

“Excuse me, mister, can you please help me?” His heartbeat starts to pick up as the young, crying girl begins to drag her feet over to him. What was he supposed to do?

“M-Mister?” He mutters to himself. He props his hands on his knees, crouching down to the young girl’s height as she reaches him. “Yes, what is it?”

“I-I can’t find my mommy…” Admitting such only seems to make the girl, who seems to be hardly three years of age, cry even harder, and Seonghwa freezes for a moment before deciding to comfort her.

“Everything’s gonna be alright! Just trust me,” He manages to get out. “Um, do you know her phone number or anything?” She shakes her head, rubbing her eyes as the flow of glassy tears thins.

“Well then…” He glances over her head back to the school picnic, trying to scan for any signs of a panicked mother. Nothing. “Ok, um, what does your mom look like?”

“She has—” She’s interrupted by a loud hiccup and Seonghwa instinctively moves to pat her on the shoulder as a gesture to continue. “Mommy has black hair.”

“Well that’s half the population of Korean mothers, you know?” He wants to say, but he doesn’t particularly want her to cry more than she already has. “Okay, unfortunately I know a lot of mothers with black hair, so can you tell me your name?”

“Kim Aeri,” She replies, still sniffling. Seonghwa’s eyes narrow as he thoughtfully glances down. Something sounded familiar.

“Do you have a sister?” He asks.

Aeri nods. “My sister is Kim Aeyeon, but I can’t find her either…”

“So that’s it...” He thinks. Yes, he knew of a Kim Aeyeon. In fact, there’s no way he couldn’t know a Kim Aeyeon with how often his older brother spoke of his insufferable crush. Seonghwa grins as he stands up, dusting off the front of his pants. “Alright, I might not be able to find your mom, but I think I can bring you to your sister! Is that okay?”

“Yes, please. Thank you, mister!” He nods before gently taking her hand. It’s a torturous fifteen minute walk under the cloudless summer sky as Seonghwa navigates the area to find the group of older kids playing volleyball, but soon enough, he spots a large net, and his family’s blue and yellow Mikasa volleyball his brother had chosen to bring for the day. To his luck, not only does he spot the girl he knows to be Aeyeon, but by the panicked expression of the older lady she’s speaking with, Seonghwa can easily guess he’s also found Aeri’s mother.

“You take this, mister!” Seonghwa is momentarily rendered speechless as Aeri drops a small piece of hard candy into his palm. “Because you’re like a hero! And my mommy always told me we should give back to the heroes!” He’s not able to respond before the young girl bounds over to her mother, who frantically scoops her up in her arms, hugging her tightly. Seonghwa briefly makes eye contact with Aeri’s mother as she eagerly points back to him, no doubt chattering about how a hero helped her, and he can’t help the warmth that spreads from his chest at her thankful smile.

“You’re a hero, huh?” Seonghwa grumbles shoving his brother as he comes over to playfully punch the younger on the shoulder. “It’s got a nice ring to it, huh?”

“Shut up.” His blatant denial only served to make his elder laugh louder, much to his annoyance. Only six years later, when Seonghwa recalls the memory while helping his classmate, San, study will he ever admit he was right.

“I still don’t get it! Which of the seven Ottoman downfalls was their actual downfall, and why do we care?” San’s whiny voice breaks him out of his daze, and he straightens up, his eyes glazing over the contents of the textbook. “Hwa, I really don’t get it, I’m gonna fail.”

And though they aren’t to the same person he first spoke them to all those years back, eight words that would later evolve into his hero catchphrase fall from his mouth as he reassuringly rubs San on the shoulder.

“Hey, everything’s gonna be alright! Just trust me!”

[purplesurveys]

725

Your name? Robyn. Age? Just turned 22. Ugh, I’ve finally reached the point where future ages – other than 30/40/50 etc – won’t be much of a milestone anymore. I can hear Monica Geller tell me, “welcome to the real world, it sucks.” Gender? Identify as female. Ethnic background? I usually just say Filipino to make it easier but technically I’m mostly Tagalog with a bit of Mangyan and Ilokano and I think Bulakeño? in me. What do you like the most about your ethnic background? It’s hard to find anything to be proud of from being Filipino sksksk I like our cuisine I guess? Especially the seafood?

The least? It’s not something I dislike directly about our own background, because what I like the least is the hundreds of years of colonization by four different nations that led to the near-complete wipeout of our native culture and the severe colonial effects that followed. The reason I find it so hard to rack my brain for stuff about our ‘ethnic background’ is because everything about it has already been penetrated by Spanish, English, Japanese, or American influence, even down to how well I can speak English right now. It’s almost impossible to look for something that’s ours. Who is your favorite golf player? I’ve never liked watching golf. Whats your favorite kind of gold? (White, Yellow, Rose, Traditional) Rose gold looks pretty. Would you rather wear turquoise pants or purple? Highkey would not wear either of these but if it came down to it, purple. Would you ever go on a jungle safari? I kind of already did. It was a lot of fun and I would rather keep going to safaris if I wanted to see wild animals as it’s a much lesser evil than zoos. If you saw a UFO what would you do? Hope my fingers are quick enough and immediately take a video. What color is your mailbox? We don’t have one. Mailmen just place it by the handle of our screen door. Are you taller than your Mom? No, I’m the smallest one in the family. Who is your meanest friend? I never really counted Patrice as a friend but she’s been the least nice acquaintance I remember having. Her attitude is actually the reason I hadn’t seen her as a friend, so that said I wouldn’t really be befriending anyone who I thought isn’t very nice. Have you ever thought about suicide? Yeah, well I’m not exactly the most mentally well person durrrr. I don’t think of it as often as I used to, but it’ll cross my mind more or less once a month. Have you ever broken a pinata? I’ve never had that experience before actually. I’ve only seen it in cartoons. Who loves Orange Soda? I don’t like soda, period. Where did you go the last time you used public transportation? I dunno if it counts because the jeep just goes around the campus hahaha but I took a jeep coming from CAL going to CMC, my home college. My dad accidentally drove the car I was gonna use that day so I had to book a Grab (our local Uber; also I can’t do public transpo for long distances hence the private car, heh) going to school, and then the campus jeeps to go from one class to another. If you were to start a band what would you name it? Never hire me to name stuff. Would you rather spend a year in the abyss or outer space? Outer space. It’s where I’ve always wanted to go anyway. I fear for my sanity if I wind up in the abyss. Do you know someone who has shot off a part of their own body? No but I know someone who had been shot (or stabbed? I can’t remember but he was attacked); it was my Kuya’s close friend. What TV shows stick out from your childhood? Mr. Bean, Pokemon, SpongeBob, Jimmy Neutron, Drake and Josh, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, That’s so Raven, to name a few. What is/was for dinner tonight? No idea yet. My dad usually whips something up at the last minute but it always turns out so so good. What’s really the best cure for a hangover? FRIED CHICKEN and I will die on this hill. Do you eat the stems of broccoli? Oooh I don’t think that’s been served to me before actually. I’m not opposed to trying them though cause broccoli’s my favorite vegetable. How many cavities do you have? I had a couple before but they’ve since been fixed at the dentist. Have you ever given money to a bum? Yes I always give them money ranging from ₱10 to ₱20, and biscuits if I have some in my bag, if they knock on my window. If you found 100 dollars on the floor of a church what would ya do with it? If I found it in a church I’d absolutely run the fuck away with the money lmao. Is your head a fun place to be in? I’m a bit of a workaholic and am always thinking about the next thing to accomplish, so tbh I imagine it looking like Spongebob’s brain HAHAHAHA as in exactly this shot

What is your favorite word? Poignant to me sounds and looks the way it means, which is so satisfying. Why is going to poop such a social taboo? We covered a bit of this in my anthropology class last semester and our prof shared a theory that says our body is in and of itself clean but once substances exit the body they’re seen as impure and already dirty - which is why we’ll have no problem talking about the circulatory system but many tend to faint if they cut their finger too much and see blood leaking out of them. Same explanation goes with poop, saliva, sweat, etc. I’m too lazy to check my notes if every bit of this is accurate, but the impure/dirty is the one I remember to be correct. Who is your worst enemy? Don’t really like the idea of enemies per se but after Marielle betrayed my trust twice I vowed to never speak with her again, and I never have. When was the last time you passed gas? I don’t like farting. If I feel one coming I suppress it on purpose. Do you eat raw hot dogs? No, that sounds so nasty. Do you ever speak out loud what you should be typing? Eh, sometimes and only if I’m by myself. It’s not a habit though. Do you own a squirt gun? We call them a water gun here but it used to be one of my favorite toys from childhood. I don’t own one anymore as I largely don’t need them. Do you like the Subway $5 footlong? I don’t really eat Subway. What is the last thing you ate with Marshmallow in it? Hate marshmallows. I always remove it if it had been added to the food I’m eating. Would you rather live in a shack on the beach or a mansion in Ohio? I love you beach, but I’m taking the damn mansion lol. Do you believe that zombies could really invade the Earth? I don’t think zombies could ever surface naturally but at some point in the distant future, when technology and human knowledge advance enough and if someone was ambitious enough to use such knowledge for the worse, I feel like some chemical or substance causing someone to become a zombie could be made. Idk, people have come up with crazy shit from science that were initially thought to be impossible so for me I’m not ruling out zombies or at least a milder version of them haha. If you were to buy a boat what would you name it? Margo, as an homage to Margo Martindale’s role from BoJack Horseman. Who is your internet provider? PLDT. What has the tv show two and a half men taught you? Nothing, because I’ve never watched an episode. What’s something you’re not supposed to be doing right now? Not thinking about my unfinished thesis. I should definitely be thinking about it right now lol. What’s hotter topless or pantless? A bit TMI considering the time ksksks but topless for me. What would you do if you found a four leaf clover? I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean (but I wanna say it means good luck?) so maybe I’ll just take a photo of it heh. Miami Dolphins or NY Jets? I don’t even know what sport these teams belong to. What is your favorite kind of instant popcorn? I don’t like popcorn, so it’s a pass for me. Do you pay attention to the expiration dates on food? Yeah I check on them quite often since I once had a terrible experience drinking spoiled milk; but I’ve also been told by my dad that the expiration dates don’t necessarily mean spoilage and molds and all that nasty crap, and that the date just means by when the product’s quality will slowly start to decrease, like if chips start to get tougher to chew or if a chocolate bar becomes less sweet. It’s a source of relief, but I’m still paranoid about expiration dates overall. What ringtone is on your phone? Just the ones Apple provides. What odd thing do you wish you were doing right now? Driving in circles around the village just to enjoy the outside world :( Are you a smoker? Socially. How do you feel about not being able to smoke in a lot of bars? I don’t mind it. I’m not desperate to smoke ever.

[for-bucks-sake]

Underwater.

Pairing: Stucky x Reader Word Count: 4.5K. I know, I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. Warnings: Angst, Endgame Spoilers, general sadness? Characters death. That’s it probably. Summary: For the past five years, Y/n has been holding her breath.  A/N: Idk man, I want to thank everyone who read Missing Is a Recurring Theme. I was overwhelmed by the comments so just,,thank you! Currently working on part two (get ready for fluff!) But for now, this was requested by the lovely @fandomnerdxox. Hope you love angst, because that’s what this fic is all about. Hope you like it! 

Her lungs were filled with dust. She could tell. Unable to expend them enough to take a breath, ribcage staying painfully small. “Bucky?” She called, maybe yelled. Nothing was clear anymore. Not even the air.

The fighting stopped all at once, there was a shift in the atmosphere, like the universe itself sensed something has gone terribly wrong. She stopped running when a Wakandan soldier reached for her, hurt, looking distressed as he tried to come closer, his back bent.

She swallowed, the urged to find her partners almost overpowering her instincts to help the man. She took his hand nevertheless, holding it tight in hers and pulling him up. She glanced to the sides, forever searching with her eyes familiar figures, when she felt the man slipping from her touch; “Are you oka-“ y/n looked back just in time to witness him disintegrating in front of her eyes, warm human flash crumbling in her grip, nothing left but dirt.  

She gasped, nearly falling back. Her eyes widened in panic as she finally started to notice more and more people dissolving into thin air.

Y/n ran. “Steve!” Knowing it’s too late. But she ran. “Bucky!” The field was too big to cover on foot. But she ran.

There was a long leg clothed in navy blue uniforms, scattering into invisible particles. Wind spreading them all over two silver, Vibrenium made shields, That’s when she stopped.

“No.” She choked, vision clouded, not even registering the chaos she walked right into.

A single, large, sniper rifle abandoned on the grass, inches away from where the leg was no longer. “No.”

It can’t be. It can’t. Not them, it can’t be them.

She collapsed to the ground, the weight of her injuries finally hitting her fully;

“I can’t breathe.” She panted, holding her sore throat desperately, starving for oxygen,“I can’t breathe.”

-

Loneliness is a funny thing. You could be lonely for years, decades, even. And never once notice it. You could live content with what you have, not even wondering about what you might miss. That’s when life tricks you. It lures you into tasting it, like a pinch of salt you bake inside a cake, bringing the sweetness out. Life places it on your tongue, melting it away into your bloodstream, changing you forever so you will never be the same. And then, they wait.

Wait in the shadows, until they think you’re too used to it, until they decide you don’t deserve it anymore. So they take it. Snatch it from between your fingers with brutal force, leaving you alone, bare, unworthy.

Funny may not be the accurate word, no. But all the other words she thought of to describe her situation were too tragic. So she sticks with funny.

-

Nat asked her to move back to compound today.

Y/n said no, of course. Not even remotely considering this as an option, furious at Natasha that she did. It got heated quickly, on her part, mostly.

She was alone all her life. Both of them were before the universe was vicious enough to give a meager taste to the starved.  She thought maybe Nat, could understand.

Y/n didn’t want to move in. Waking up to the sound of Natasha trying to save a world that already lost. Listening to her secretly wiping about what Clint has become. She didn’t want to do that. Y/n had enough shit to deal with on her own.

She finally reached her front door, fumbling with her keys, groaning as the jingling continued because she couldn’t find the right one, hands still shaking from anger.

“Did you know how quickly smell fades away?” Nat’s hair was longer, red color vibrant than ever. It suited her.

“I’m sorry?” Confusion replaced Natasha’s fading smile,

“Smell.” Y/n stressed, “of people, I mean. When they’re not here to renew it, it just disappears. Dissolves into the air, like it was never there.” She refused to sit, not once stopping to chip on her nails.

“Are you okay? Y/n, I’m starting to w-“

“Especially with clothes.” She frowned, burring her hands inside the pocket of her oversized leather jacket, changing her mind right after, bringing right hand fingers to her lips instead,  “you know, I tried keeping their clothes in the closet, I thought maybe, it will help preserve the smell. But it was all bullshit. Turns out I just missed about a year of their scents. When I opened it, it was barely there.”

Natasha remained silent, too alarmed to speak. Y/n accepted it as an invitation to continue her ramble.

“I was so angry, you won’t believe.” She laughed bitterly, “At myself of course, like, I could’ve googled it or something, but I didn’t. So I don’t have much to go with now.” Y/n continued, either going through an aneurism, a fit, or finally losing her mind all together, doing so hysterically right in front of Nat.

Natasha left her chair, walking towards y/n as carefully as she would approach a wounded predator.

“Listen to me, it’s going to be fine.” She cringed at her own words, feeling terrible at making people feel better. Steve was great at it, he always knew what to say and when to say it. Surly if he returned to give an advice, it would’ve calmed down his grieving girlfriend.

Natasha was relieved to be her only audience, if anyone else was seeing her state she would get a fast pass to a psych ward. Nat knew she wasn’t crazy, just…hurting.

“Yeah. yeah,” y/n dismissed her, swinging her hand, “anyway, that’s my way of telling you I can’t move here.” She finally sat down, leaving Natasha facing the wall. She turned around.

“Why not?” She said carefully, crossing her arms, “the thought of you all alone is- .”

“I don’t mind being alone.” Y/n cut sharply the kind words directed to her,

“do you?”

She finally managed to find the right one, shoving the key to its lock and twisting. She pushed the door with her shoulder, dropping her small bag to the floor.

Five years had gone and she still wasn’t used to the unnatural silence.

The blinds were shut, the air didn’t move, and for a second she could believe that time actually stopped.

Y/n inhaled deeply, standing still in the middle of the room, not daring to make a sound - maybe time did stop. She jumped when a car honked outside. A loud, ear cutting sound that tore her ruthlessly from her bubble.

She blinked, as if waking up from a deep slumber, realizing her precious reality was nothing but a dream.

That’s how she felt everyday, if she was being honest. Sometimes their touch felt more like a delusion than a memory. Sometimes, metal hand and starred chest turning into dust were just a horrifying nightmare. Sometimes, two purple, ugly fingers snap themselves together was just a fucked up hallucination. Sometimes, the existence of two, perfect men, reciprocating the strong, burning love she felt was just too hard to believe.

Nothing was real anymore.

Y/n walked into the bedroom, grabbing the white bottle of aspirin from her bedside table and swallowing down two. It was an exhausting day.

Her head met the sagging pillow with a soft thud, unlike most days, sleep came quickly, and with a flutter of her eyelashes, she was already gone.

He was so handsome with that beard. It was really impacting her ability to focus.

“Hi, ms. Astronaut!” Steve called her, golden fragments of light dancing in his eyes, “your pretty dreamy looks won’t help you on the battlefield.”

“Really? So you’re just that good at punching people?” She smirked, adjusting the straps of her sports bra, “no staring at your enemies with those baby blues until they beg for mercy?”

He caught her off guard, using her shoulder to hoist himself up and tackle her ankles from the back. She hit the soft padding embarrassingly easily, Steve not even giving her the time to react.

He offered a strong hand, swinging her off the ground like she weighs nothing when she took it. He smiled at her, eyes a brilliant cerulean- “ready to beg for mercy yet?”

Y/n huffed and hit his shoulder, “not a chance.” She paused, tightening her ponytail, returning to starting position, “now explain to me how to block it.”

Suddenly, her scenario dusted away in a disgusting black ash, swirling around her body, ruthlessly throwing her into a field.

She started running. She didn’t know where she ran, but it felt like she’s been there before; sounds and smells familiar, recognizing the path to god-knows-where as her legs kept carrying her.

A more clear image started to form, the sky bore lightning but it was warm outside, faceless monsters with sharp teeth and slick skin tried to attack her but only went through. Y/n was starting to realize where she was; it was their last fight against Thanos, and she got another chance.

Running was a part of her by now. Unable to stop or slow down, one mission in mind. Looking for a reflection of the sun on metal, or just the eyes of two bearded men before they disappear for good.

She heard them calling for her, loud and clear, two voices she hasn’t encountered for a long time, yet will never be able to forget.

“Bucky?” She screamed, this time she has to find them, she has to, “Steve? Where are you? Steve, Bucky!”

The tears woke her up, cheeks stained and breaths that were no longer under her control, hasty gasps that choke her up instead of supplying oxygen.

She was so close this time.

Her body shook violently, trembling with fear and drenched in cold sweat. The headache she had when she fell asleep was worse now, an echoing sting compressing her brain every time her heart beat.

It wasn’t just her failed attempt to say goodbye. She dreamed this every other night, and every single time she finds herself inside an unknown territory, not knowing what she needs to do until the very last minute, when she fails miserably, only to awaken to the voices of her loved ones, calling her to come save them.

No, it wasn’t just that. Because this time- this time she had a good dream too.

They used to spar all the time together, it was a good energy outlet and an excuse to spend more time with each other. She had a lot to learn from two super soldiers, and to her surprise, she taught them some moves too.

Y/n remembered that day, Steve and she were having an early morning while Bucky was still soundly sleeping, so they decided not to wake him, leaving an orange sticky note on his metal arm that said, gone to kick steve’s ass, be back by 9:00. love you.

Steve drove them to the compound, crisp breeze hitting her freshly opened eyes as she clutched his firm chest tighter, leaning her body weight on his.

He asked if she was okay, loud noise of the engine and the wind free whistles in her ears, maybe he thought he drove too fast.

She nodded, smiling in reassurance when they bypassed traffic, Steve maniacally dodging cars and driving in between the small spaces vehicles leave. He was crazy. But he managed to bring them to the compound in under twenty minutes, which was a new record.

They entered the gym, Steve’s hand still on her lower back as they stopped walking, taking off their jackets, staying only in training clothes.

“I really like that jacket.” She said, feeling the worn leather of the large brown cloth under her fingertips.

“I know.” He smiled and bit his lips, taking her hand and guiding her to the large ring.

They took their positions, adjusting their stances, “Last night I remembered some old fight moves I didn’t use in a long time.” Steve scratched his beard then stretched his shoulders, “maybe we could start with them?”

She remembers nodding, not registering exactly what he said because she got distracted, thinking about his beard and his eyes and everything else.

It was a good day. Peaceful day. A day she would give anything to experience just once more.

Her eyes were tired, begging for an actual rest as she got up, still in her clothes from yesterday, blindly walking to the kitchen and hitting some buttons on the coffee machine- it was too old now. Needed to be replaced.

Nothing has really changed, since half of the world disappeared, since Steve and Bucky disappeared. She set next to the kitchen table, filling only one of four chairs, like every other day, holding the same bitter, black coffee in the same chipped mug.

Even killing Thanos didn’t mean anything, and she wasn’t even there. Too struck with grief to see the last light behind this monster’s eyes before they darkened forever.

Y/n felt like the world ceased to move, like maybe, in a way, they were caught in a lop, and time did stop.

-

“I’m sorry.” She went to visit Natasha again. Being sad was no excuse to treat her only friend spitefully. She leaned against the lintel, trying to find support, or hide behind it, she didn’t know.

Natasha’s eyes were swollen, eyes still threatening to tear up again any moment.

“It’s okay.” She took a bite from her sandwich, “Clint did it again.”

Y/n thought about yesterday, her own thoughts were so unfair to Nat, who did nothing but help her the past five years, how could she be so selfish, thinking she was the only one in suffering.

“I’m sorry, Nat. I really am.” Y/n approached her, taking the chair that was opposite of her, “did you try looking for him? Clint is a good guy. You know he is. He’s someone who lost everything at once. Something like that gotta mess up with your mind.”

“You’re still here.” Nat said quietly, already regretting it,

Y/n bit the inside of her cheek, reclining against the back of the chair, “If there’s someone in this world that could save him - it’s yo-“

“Hey, Hello, This is Scott Lang. We met a few years ago, at the airport, in Germany, I got really big-“

Both women were startled, slowly getting up from their chairs, looking at the small monitor.

“Is this an old message?” Y/n asked, her eyes burning, she inhaled sharply. Scott Lang is supposed to be missing, he dusted with all the others. And if that really is Scott it means…

-

Scott didn’t disappear because of Thanos’ snap like the others. So it didn’t mean shit. And hope crushed her chest once again, hating herself for letting it invade her thoughts repeatedly, not learning her lesson.

His incoherent ramble about a time machine sure didn’t help. Natasha insisted they would go visit Tony anyway, saying that if he recognized a real chance he would never hesitate to help-

But when she sees Tony with his daughter, her world nearly crumbles for the second time in two days. The odds he would cooperate were now down to zero.

Tony saw them approaching. She watched him letting the kid down, following her with her gaze as she ran all the way to the front door, swallowed by the wooden house.

“I’m happy for you Tony,” y/n heard herself saying, “I really am. But you can help so many people, you can help bring so many people back, and you won’t even…”

“No. I won’t even.” There was a finality in his voice, one that clearly states they are done.

“Steve? You remember Steve? He used to be your friend. Or have you already forgotten him. How easy.” She pierced the air with an ice cold tone , anger consuming her. “You live your happy life, and you got everything. Tony. Everything. What do I got? What do I have?” She heaved, breathless, and he looked like he was going to say something, when his daughter came jumping on his lap, securing her little arms around him in a firm hug, “mom told me to come save you.”

Y/n finally got a good look of the girl. She was sweet looking, a visible brain behind her eyes; And she didn’t know Tony Stark very well, but y/n could tell the kid shared a deep resembles to him. Who wouldn’t do anything for their child? Even if it means letting the other half of the world burn. -

She clearly didn’t know the man at all, because for some reason- Tony Stark came back.

Everything they did seemed to fail, and when Bruce couldn’t figure it out, almost making what’s left of the Avengers babysitters to baby Scott, Tony arrived to the rescue.

“He turned into a baby, didn’t he?” He snarked with a sly grin, revealing a weird looking metal bracelet and a proud attitude that said, I did it.

“Thank you.” Y/n took his hand, squeezing it hard, knowing that as of now, she owes this man her life. “Thank you so much.”

He offered a knowing smile, grief shifting his features, “I know what it’s like to lose someone.” - “See you in a minute.” She heard Nat, giddy with excitement, before all of them were pulled into a colorful vortex, a hurricane rearranging her guts, staying with her even when they landed in an unfamiliar ally in New York.

“Are we in the right place?” She asked Tony and Bruce, changing her white and red, Quantum traveling suit, into a more area fitting one with a single button.

Smashing sounds got closer by the second right after she asked, not long before they saw a much greener Hulk, destroying everything on his path.

“I’m pretty sure this answers my question. “ Y/n said to herself, amused, heart light inside her chest despite the heavy mission ahead of them.

Y/n wore a big SHIELD identification, saying she was incredibly high clearance, it’s supposed to get her what she needs quickly, no questions asked; but when she entered an elevator full of Hydra thugs, testosterone reeking the small space, she assumed there might be some questions.

“Gentlemen.” She said, too ceremonially, “I will need you to hand me the Scepters. Orders from high, I’m afraid.” She felt all of them tense around her,

“And who are you, if I may ask? I have never seen you here.” The bald man who looked less threatening than all of them asked,

Y/n held her ID high, pointing out her clearance level, “not ever seeing me here is a good sign, Mr…”

“Mr. Sitwell.”

“Very well, Mr. Sitwell. Now, if you will, the Scepter. I’m in a bit of a rush. Wouldn’t want to keep people on the higher floors waiting.” Y/n decided to do something bold, the outcome could either be a success, or one that she would have to punch her way out of. She leaned against Sitwell, bringing her mouth closer to his ear and whispered,  

“Hail Hydra.”

The man looked apprehensive at first, debating with himself for a long moment, until finally nodding to one of the other men, handing her the long suitcase reluctantly.

Y/n gladly accepted it , the elevator finally opening up as she turned her back to them, smirking in satisfaction, going towards the exit.

Her legs stopped in their tracks. She wasn’t supposed to see him. Not now, not like this.

Steve, wearing a very cheesy and outdated Captain America suit approached her, holding his earpiece, and before she could even registered what was going on, she heard him say he has eyes on Loki. Fucking Fantastic.

It wasn’t her Steve, she knew, but it was harder to accept than say, because as it seemed she is going to have to fight him, and she wasn’t ready.

In the months before the mission Natasha got her back into a very strict schedule of training, trying to beat her into shape again. It couldn’t repair years of damage and neglect, but it was better than anything. And as past Steve swung his shield to her direction, y/n held onto every bit of shape she head.

It wasn’t her Steve, her mind screamed as she dodged his punch, fighting the desire to take off his mask and kiss him.

He hasn’t met her yet, of course he won’t recognize her.  

“Hand back the Scepter, Loki.” He demanded, she was suddenly happy she couldn’t see his eyes.

Steve tried to use her shoulder to hoist himself up, but y/n hunched over, waiting for him to miss his jump, and placed two hands securely on his broad shoulders, lifting herself and using his support to flip over, forcing him down along with her, wrapping her body around his, trying to chock him long enough for him to lose consciousness.

“I can’t do that. “She panted, struggling to keep him in a tight enough grip, “and I am not Loki.”

Steve fought out of her hold, twisting his thighs around hers and kicking her kneecaps, rattling her entire body as they changed positions, now she was the one being strangled. She arced her back, hitting him in full force with it, but he didn’t budge. Not even when she jerked one ankle, jolting him right in the junk. She’ll apologize later.

Y/n couldn’t beat him in a hand to hand combat, poorly shaped and outmatched by him. Distraction was her only possible advantage, and she was running out of time, options, and air. What could baffle 2012 Steve Rogers? She thought frantically, just as the answer presented itself to her.

What would faze 2012 Steve Rogers? The same thing that would faze 2019 Steve Rogers, or any Steve Rogers for that matter.

“Bucky, is , alive.” She coughed out, and it was enough; the lock on her throat was released, giving her an opportunity to take the Scepter and run. She took it out of its case, pointing it at Steve general direction just as he gained composer again, hovering above her. She caught a glimpse of blue, cold and painful to watch without the warm undertones that appeared every time he looked at her.

“Sorry.” She squeaked as he dropped to the floor, head planted down. Only falling asleep, she hoped.

- The minute she saw Clint collapsing, an empty space to her left, she knew Natasha was not coming back.

They didn’t know exactly what happened, and it didn’t matter. Because everything else was clear. She gave her life to get that stone, to get everyone back. That only meant one thing; They could not fail.

- As time went by, y/n thought less and less about what would happen if they came back. There was no point to lead herself on, right? So she didn’t.

But now, as the possibility of them returning appeared more vivid, worry began to chew on her confidence.  Insecurity seemed the last thing she needed right now, so insignificant, superficial, in times like this, when the faith of the world was at stake. Yet, she was staring at the mirror, for the first time in five years, really looking. Examining carefully, with attention, how her body has changed. She didn’t like what she saw.

It’s not about you, she had to remind herself, it’s about them.

“Also", a very familiar voice, challenging her with the cheek in her tone; Nat. “Give those two dumbasses more credit, they will love you, no matter what.”

-

It was only them, and they were losing.

They managed the snap, and it almost cost Bruce’s life in the process. Nothing in the world seemed to scream about drastic changes so far, and then Thanos decided to pay a visit, depriving them of finding out if everything they have gone through was for nothing.

Slowly but surely, they were losing. Being wrecked by the purple alien that already destroyed once their lives as they knew and loved.

It wasn’t fair, Stark was the last one standing. She watched him from where she landed, after being brutally thrown. He could never face him by himself, he wouldn’t survive long enough. She remembered that day, it seemed like thousand years ago now; when she swore, she owed her life to that man.

No superpowers, no special suit, no weapon. Just her, and her fists. That’s all she had to offer. She owed it to too many people to not just surrender and die, leaving a world to burn behind her. She owed it to herself.

Y/n gritted her teeth and spit blood to the side, standing side by side with Iron Man, bringing two fists to the front of her body and fixing her stance.

She inhaled deeply and glanced at Stark, he nodded, letting her know he’s ready when she is.

“Y/n?” She heard her name, somehow loud, in her earpiece. Tony looked confused just as her, he heard it too, and it wasn’t him talking.

“Doll, it’s Steve. Do you copy?”

Her breath was knocked off her lungs, she searched around her for any sign of him, of Bucky, of anyone, when an orange portal was opened behind her. And then another one, and another one, and another ten.

“Holy shit.” Tony called from beside her, laughing, somehow, “holy fucking shit.”

Y/n was at a loss of words.

“Go.” He opened his helmet, motioning her to the sea of warriors behind them - he wasn’t standing alone anymore - “go!”

She shook her head, not moving an inch. “I’m staying right here.”

-

It was her dream again. Her eyes scanned the crowds, running amok between injured people, bodies. Vision too blurry and burning to see any face at all.

“Y/n!.” A deep voice called in her direction, and she nearly twisted her neck attempting to find its source.

Her eyes teared up instantly, knees threatening to buckle underneath her, a metal arm coming just in time to hold onto her, support her in place. Wiping tears was useless, she found out soon enough, giving up instantly to simply sobbing into Bucky’s shoulder.

“Bucky, Bucky, Bucky.” She kept crying out, he had a long cut on the side of his torso, he shushed her gently when she tried to bring it up.

There was a subtle movement behind her, and she tensed, head shooting up, “Steve?”

“I’m right here, sweetheart.” He said softly, another pair of strong arm enfolding themselves around her, his eyes radiated warmth, bright in the middle of a dirt stained face. She took one last look before burying her body deeper between them, surrounding herself with a scent that was a mix of salt and earth and blood, so humanly them.

“You were gone and I-“ Y/n kept glancing every other second at Bucky- even though she was still in his arms, hysteria got the best of her, gradually taking over any rationale left- the fear they’ll disappear, like last time, becomes too real.

“I didn’t say goodbye and-“ She gasped for air, they caressed her, talking sweet nothings in her ears, just to calm her down.

“It’s been five years and I…I couldn’t live without you.” She said finally, physically struggling to speak, clutching onto them harder,

“We’re so sorry.” Bucky muttered, choking down on tears of his own, weaving fingers through her knotted hair, “So fucking sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Steve reassured her one more time, kissing her temple, then her knuckles, then her lips. “we’re here now.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #208

"if you want to soar with vultures, you'll have to swallow crow."

What may we call you? Brittany/Britt or Ozz/Ozzy. When can we send you a birthday card? (Figuratively, of course.): February 5th. And, where are you calling from? (Again, figuratively.): Please free me of the sweltering grip of North Carolina. What is your favorite Hostess/Little Debbie snack? BIIIIIIHHHHH that's too hard. I love that shit. I love the honeybuns, Twinkies, those little chocolate cupcakes... and really just most things lkdjalksdjwoe. Do you/your family buy loaf from the bakery or bagged on the shelf? Bagged. White, wheat or other? Mom usually buys whitewheat, but sometimes just wheat because she knows I prefer it. Have you ever fixed something without knowing just how you did it? I'm sure I have at some point. When was the last time you were on a plane? Last December. Where were you going and why? To Sara's for her birthday. What’s the best news you’ve gotten lately? Mom found a serious deal for a brand new Canon camera with more focal length range than my previous one and she bought it right in time for the wedding I shot yesterday. :') ^And, the worst? My niece may already be developing schizophrenia. If you could invent something, what would it be? Uhhhh... just one is hard. I literally just thought about this for like 5+ minutes and can't think of one singular invention that would actually be important. Well, maybe some sort of totally natural, long-lasting preservative for food? That'd help so many people and would greatly decrease the amount of fruits and such we waste, and it would also save money with probably slightly decreasing the frequency of grocery shopping. Tell me about your favorite pair of pants. I literally just have black yoga/dance pants lmao. Do you like getting dressed up? NO. Is your technology up to date? Depends on how "up-to-date" you mean. My stuff definitely isn't totally current. Ever been stuck next to someone really annoying on a LONG plane/train ride? Nah. Would you be embarrassed to find out you snored loudly in public? Yeah. Are you afraid of heights? Yes, to a degree. What is a compliment you get most often? "I like your hair"/stuff like that. Tell me about the last frightening/weird dream you had. This is hard, I like, never remember my dreams. Now, about the last pleasant dream you had. AHA I actually do remember this one: I got the rare-as-all-fuck and beautiful as all hell heavenly onyx cloud serpent in WoW, which I've tried getting every week for years. @_@ My eyes like popped open and I nearly gasped. Do you feel guilty about killing bugs? Sometimes. If there is a spider in your room, will you be up all night knowing that? YUP. How do you feel about coconut? I hate it. ^ Ever cracked one open? No. If you like someone, what do you do? Generally get shy and smile a lot when interacting with them. If you DON’T like someone, what do you do? Try to avoid being around them, keep talking to them to a minimum. What do you feel most insecure about? What DON'T I feel insecure about? Do you do your part to save the earth? I do what I can as not an independent adult (ex., I don't have my own car, so we don't drive to the dump). I turn the water off when brushing my teeth, I don't linger in the shower, I absolutely will not litter, things like that. Does it ROYALLY piss you off when your intended username is already taken? Yeesh, it doesn't even make me mad, it's just annoying. Describe your sunglasses. I don't have any. What’s the most you’ve spent on a pair of sunglasses? N/A ^Or, ladies, what about a purse? No clue, but definitely not a lot. Actually, what’s the most expensive clothing item/accessory you own? Again, I don't know. What is your favorite spoken language to listen to? Latin. Is there a TV switched on in the room you’re in? There is no TV. If so, what’s on? N/A What room of the house are you in anyway? My bedroom. Do you own anything that is special edition? I think some games, maybe? Maybe other things? Do you have any funky bookmarks? I have one of those moving 3D ones of meerkats. Do you know anyone with a British accent? Not personally. Are you reading any books at the moment? No. If so, tell me the plot briefly. N/A. When did you last get delivery pizza? A few weeks back. Drake Bell or Josh Peck? Back when the show was current, I preferred Drake. I know nothing about him now; Josh is cool, though. When was the last time you had a tick on you? EW idk I don't even wanna think about it. Do you watch Adult Swim? No, I hate it. It's crawling with immature humor. Have you been to the Grand Canyon? No. What is your favorite type of donut? Glazed or plain. Who usually makes dinner in your household? Mom. Name ALL the colors you’re wearing. Oh jeez, I have on a really colorful Day of the Dead-style skull tank top. Literally like every possible color. Are there more females or males in your family? Females. Have you submitted anything to Urban Dictionary? No. Did you have a Gameboy? If so, do you still have it? Yes to both. Is there a playground anywhere near your house? Define "near." Not very. Does anyone in your family snore loudly? Mom. What’s your favorite cereal? Probably Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Or Crunch Berries, the all berries kind. Do you read reddit? If so, how often and what subreddits do you like? No. Do you know anyone who’s had a baby recently? An old best friend from high school. When was the last time you ate marshmallows? Not since Sara was here and we had s'mores last summer. Do you listen to any podcasts? How do you listen to them? No. What brand of toilet paper do you usually buy? I don't pay attention to whatever Mom gets. Why did you leave your last job? The stress was giving me panic attacks. Have you ever eaten at a restaurant and left without paying? No. What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud? Probably Mark or GameGrumps. How old were you when you first became sexually active? 16. What’s your opinion on The Simpsons? I don't have one. Do you know anyone who has been through a divorce? Plenty of people. Do you have to pay for parking in most places in the town/city you live in? No. Can you hear lots of traffic from your house? Does it bother you? A moderate amount. We live on a busy road. Would someone being either a cat or dog person effect you dating them? No. What is the smallest thing you lose your temper over instantly? Hm, idk. Talk to me like I'm an idiot will definitely get me, actually. What’s a job that doesn’t get enough respect? Mfckn teachers. They are WAY WAY WAY underpaid. What did you take for granted until you visited another country? Never left the country. What is the worst first date you’ve been on? Tyler had a flat tire, and we had to walk to the gas station for something I don't remember and back to the sketchy tire place, and it was SO cold and windy. It didn't actually bother me, like he felt godawful and it wasn't like it was in his power, but from a date standpoint, yeah, that was an event. Who is your favorite scientist and why? I'm not educated enough on various scientists for this. Do you prefer emoticons or emoji? Emoticons. What’s the hardest task you’ve ever had to do? Open my mind in partial hospitalization to let Jason go and recover. How did you meet your pet? Teddy was from a friend of a family friend who knew we were looking for a dog. He was a present for me, so I didn't actually pick him, but rather Ashley chose the last remaining puppy with brown on him, and boy did she make the best decision. Roman was one of the shitload of kittens Ash's mother-in-law had; I was immediately drawn to him with his beautiful blue eyes. <3 Venus was from an online hub of ball python breeders, and I just absolutely fell in love with her colors. Kaiju and Mitsu were both from Craigslist. Do you look like any of your grand- or great-grandparents? I don't have a clue. Did/Do you have any PEZ dispensers? Oh yeah. Do you like grapes or raisins better? I only like grapes. What is the most extreme weather your area has ever experienced? I looked it up; the coldest in history is -9*, highest is 105*. Is there anything you plan on watching on TV today? No. Are there any broken appliances in your house? Maybe. Mom may still have my old Sager in hopes of fixing it one day or something, but I feel like we finally got rid of it. What color is the lampshade in the room you’re in? I don't have a lamp in here. At school, what is/was your worst area in math? I don't remember. Have Jehovah's Witnesses ever called to your door? Yes. Do you ever throw money in those ‘wishing’ wells? No. Waste of coins. Ever take money out of them? No. Are you well known by people in your area? No. What is the picture on the desktop on the computer you’re using? A meerkat. Have you ever had your future told? No. Do you 'spit on it’, to seal a deal? No no no ew. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? No, thank god. If so, have you had any scary hallucinations? N/A Do you believe in ghosts? Totally. Would you ever stay overnight in a haunted house? Sure thing. When was the last time you had an injection? What for? Months ago when I was getting a cavity filled at the dentist. For some reason, I would NOT go totally numb until they gave me like 5+ doses. Is there anything you cannot wait to be over? This eternally-looping groundhog's day bullshit. I want a job, to be in school, friends, just a damn purpose. Do you have any enemies? "Enemies," no. People I don't like that also don't like me, yes. What was the last thing you had done at the dentist? Speak of the dentist, lol. Said cavity filling. Do you scrunch your face up when eating sour things? No, I'm not very affected by sour things. As a child, did you ever get the chance to go to Disney World/Disneyland? World, yes. <3 Are you someone who is really committed to politics in your area/country? No. When was the last time you were on a boat? Where did you travel on it? Two summers ago when I was fishing with Colleen, her husband, and dad. Does your family ever have any kind of weird traditions in your house? No. What would you consider your favorite movie from a different decade? The Lion King. Do you ever take bubble baths only to relax yourself in some way? I never take any kind of bath. When was the last time you were sick? What were you sick with and why? I don't remember. Have you ever wanted your significant other to get rid of a friend? Yes, though I had serious reason, but I wasn't in any way demanding about it/nothing was actually affected by them remaining friends. If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? They've both moved out. Do you know anyone who has or has had any kind of mental illness/disorder? I'd love to meet someone who can possibly say "no" to this. Do you ever go to Blockbuster? How frequently would you say you go? *stares off into the distance wistfully* Is your mother a stay-at-home mother or does she work somewhere? She never stops working. What food would you just want to disappear off the face of the earth? Nothing? I'm not going to take away the diet of people depending on some source I just happen to hate. Do movies with super heroes intrigue you in any way? Why is this? Yeah, I just like fantasy stuff, and I enjoy the majority of the plots. I also just enjoy the idea of superheroes existing. Do you watch those late-night talk shows? What’s the best part about them? No. Do you ever listen to music so you can actually change your emotion? I try to sometimes. Do you like shopping alone? I've never really shopped alone. Does your best girlfriend have any talents that you don’t? Yeah, like she can animate pretty well! Have you ever written a song? I wrote a fucking song to the Nintendogs theme as a kid lmfao. Does anybody send you money in the mail for your birthday? My grampa always did, but he's sadly passed away, so now, no. Do you own any shirts that have a year on it? Ha ha, I have a Back to the Future shirt stored somewhere with the date on it, and it says "I was there." What do you think about mullets? I absolutely hate them. Would you rather date an actor or an athlete? I find actors more talented. I'd be afraid of an athlete s/o getting hurt, too. Do you have any scratches on your cell phone? No. Somehow. When was the last time you blushed? I don't remember, it's definitely been a while. Who is one person you met and automatically didn’t like? A doctor for my tremors. She was a BITCH with just such an unlikable, dull personality. Never went back to her. Do you have any video game systems in your room? Which one(s)? I have a Nintendo DS Lite somewhere... and then my laptop is actually a gaming laptop. What movie coming out do you really want to see? The. Live action. TLK. First day? I'm fuckin' THERE son. Is your skin tone lighter or darker than your mom’s? We're about the same. What is the best thing about the beach? All I care about is if the water's warm. Have you ever done another person’s make-up? I gave Jason a makeover once lmao. Have you ever spied on your neighbor? No. Do you think they’ve ever spied on you? No. What color eyes does the last person you kissed have? Brown. Honestly, do you double dip? No, I break chips apart. I will if I'm eating by myself, though. What color is your birthstone? Purple. What is one thing you don’t like sharing? Hmmm. Oh, probably candy, lmao. Where on your body would you NEVER get a piercing? Downstairs. Which Adam Sandler movie do you like the most? He's been in so many, I don't have a clue. I like him, though. Who was one of your first celebrity crushes? Jesse McCartney was my husband. Did your parents ever read stories to you before bed? Mom did. What are you listening to? "Queen For Queen" by Motionless In White. Do you like hickeys? If they're not in an obvious spot. Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? No. When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? I don't have a best friend besides Sara, and I talk to her everyday. Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? Sara. Do you believe what goes around comes around? Not always. Do you have any summer plans yet? No. I'd like to go up and visit Sara, but I have no clue if that'll happen, especially with me trying so hard to get a job. Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? One. Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? Yes. Have you ever regretted kissing someone? Yes. Do you think age matters in relationships? To an extent when a minor is involved. Even huge gaps in adult relationships creep me out, but there's nothing morally wrong with it. How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? Two. Do you believe exes can be friends? It depends on the intensity of the relationship, I think. Plus what went wrong. Did you ever lose a best friend? Yeah. Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? Lol poor thing's seen me sob. Are most of your friend guys or girls? Girls. When was the last time you took a long drive? A few days ago to my psychiatrist. About an hour drive. Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? No. Have you ever TP'd someone’s house? Well, considering I've never been that damn immature, no. Who do you text the most? Sara. What was the last movie you saw? Detective Pikachu. It was cute, although I was expecting it to be more targeted towards an older audience with Ryan Reynolds playing Pikachu. (I knew nothing about it going into it.) Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships? I'm monogamous. What do you most like about making out? The touching/caressing. Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with? No. Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? No. Do you miss your last sweetie? Not romantically. It'd be nice to hang out again, though. Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? No. If you could kiss anyone who would it be? Y'all been known. What’s your favorite flavor of soda, pop or whatever else you call it? Blue raspberry. Have you ever attended a religious or private school? Yes; I went to Sunday school. How many cars does your household own? One. What time do you usually have dinner? 4:00 for fasting reasons. What’s your favorite meat? Probably chicken. Do you need glasses to read or drive or need them all the time? I always need them. Are you a very forgetful person? I'm so forgetful that I literally sometimes have borderline anxiety attacks that I'm developing dementia or something at age 23 lmao. What is the best gift anyone has ever gotten for you? My dog. Do you look anything like you did 3 years ago? I guess somewhat, though I was way bigger and my hair was much longer. Have you done something dramatic to your looks in the past year? No. Make up or no make up? I think everyone inevitably looks better with make-up as it enhances features and dulls imperfections, but I personally couldn't care less if you wear it or not. I almost never do, so I can't talk. What’s your favorite thing to watch on the TV? IF I was to watch TV now, probably things like animal documentaries. Would you rather be anorexic or obese? Actually go fuck yourself. Do you upload videos to YouTube? Definitely not regularly. I don't know the next time I'll make one. Do you own any albums by Michael Jackson? No. Do you like your phone on silent or vibrate? Vibrate. Do you like Beavis and Butthead? I don't watch it, but it honestly seems pretty damn stupid. What do you believe happens after we die? Who even knows, really. I believe there's something after we die, but we'll have to wait to find out what. Does the concept of eternity scare you? It kinda... does, actually? Like, wouldn't it get boring eventually? Are you happy that you were born and raised where you were? I suppose. Are your parents still together? No. Do you know anyone who is pregnant right now? Yes, and I want to see their fckng son he's gonna be so cute. She's due soon and I pray I get to take pictures of him. Is there a band you like but don’t like the people in it? Blood On The Dance Floor and Otep. Well, Otep is respectable in some areas, but all things considered, she is a bitch. What tabs do you have open right now? Fucking five YouTube tabs, dA, and Tumblr. Who was the last person to write on your wall on Facebook? No clue, and I don't feel like looking. Have you ever seen a tornado in person? Thank Christ in Heaven no. Are you between the ages of 30 & 40? No. How much was a gallon of gasoline when you first started driving? I have no clue, when I got my permit. What was your first car? N/A Who taught you how to drive? My driver's ed teacher and my mom. What was your high school mascot? A firebird. Did you go to your senior prom? Yes. What did you do after graduation? Honestly? I don't even remember, almost at all, lmao. I either went to Jason's or went home/Jason came with me. Any posters on your bedroom walls growing up? When Nicole and I shared a room, she literally covered the fucking walls in Jonas Brothers shit while I was at a friend's house, and I was. Very. Very. Unhappy. Do you remember the first time you drank a beer? I've never had beer, don't want to. Did you ever try cigarettes? No. How did you spend your summers growing up? Swimming, hanging out with friends, playing outside, riding bikes, playing softball with Dad, playing video games... If you could change anything from your teenage years, would you? Hey, could I have been like, a happy teenager??? Do you remember your first time? No considering at that time I didn't realize it essentially was sex, so it wasn't something that stood out at the time. After high school - straight to college or straight to work? I went straight to college. Favorite home-cooked meal growing up? Spaghetti. Favorite place to eat out growing up? It was probably McDonald's. How many stuffed animals do you own? I literally have multiple huge bags in the attic of childhood stuffed animals I couldn't get rid of, lmao. Are you good at comebacks? WOW no. When’s the last time you watched the news? I don't have the slightest idea. Do you love Christmas time? Of course. Do you really think that the number 13 is unlucky? No. What’s your favorite flavor of cough drops? Omggg I love those strawberry ones. Do you have a fan in your room? Yes. I wouldn't survive without it. Do you think Cookie Monster is cute? I don't really feel either way. Do you like candy canes? Yes. Have you ever had a dream where you killed someone? Yes. Which is worse: stuffy nose or runny nose? Probably stuffy? I don't have a runny nose much, but I've got pleeeenty of experience with stuffy noses. Which is worse: Sick to your stomach or sore throat? THE FORMER. What’s your favorite smiley face? c: Do you think your last relationship was a disaster? No. How many concerts have you been to? One. :/ Would you ever join a band? If I was actually talented with the guitar, maybe, but as things are now, nope. Which internet browser do you use? Chrome. Do you know anyone who is a firefighter? No. What was the last wedding you went to? Just a few days ago for a lady who contacted me about shooting hers. It was a great one, and honestly wonderful to see an interracial wedding here in the South. You do nooot see that everyday. What’s your favorite alcoholic beverage? Margaritas. When was the last time you saw a photo of your ex? Probably the last time I was uploading pictures from my old phone; it's the one I take the once-a-year selfie because the Samsung camera is ACTUAL trash. Do you “binge-watch” TV shows? No. Well actually, on the occasions Sara and I have, I can only handle a handful at a time before I completely lose focus on it or, at that time anyway, interest. What is your opinion of clowns? I don't have one. Do you play any games on your phone? Only Pokemon GO if I'm somewhere I can actually play it. Do you plan ahead when it comes to your outfits? No. Have you ever shaved your face? We have this tiny automatic razor thing for your upper lip, and I use that like once a month or less because yay having dark body hair. What color is your front door? White. What was the last vaccination you got? Whatever those mandatory ones are when you become a teenager. Idr. Would you ever try herbal medicine as opposed to conventional medicine? No. If I need medicine for something, I'm using something I know works. Have you ever been to a petting zoo? I think as a kid? Do/did you have a curfew set by your parents? It wasn't heavily enforced, but Mom preferred I be home by 10 if I went somewhere. How many times have you consumed alcohol? *shrugs* When was the last time you wore a hat? What kind? I have noooo clue. When was the last time you sang an ENTIRE song? Good question. I rarely sing an entire song, rather just parts. Do you consider yourself to be attractive? I don't mind my face, but I do NOT like my body, so overall, no. Are you addicted to anything? Technology. What are you craving right now? I've had an insane craving for hot dogs on the grill for like a week now lmao. Mom's doing that and buying some drinks today for the two of us. I wanted my sisters to come for some family time, but my younger sister has homework, and then Ash and kids like... never come here. "Because of the dogs," according to her husband, but I don't believe that. Are you a forgiving person? I'm way too forgiving. Do you have a brother? Yes. Have you ever had a dream of stabbing someone? WHOA actually I think I semi-recently had a nightmare of me going ham stabbing someone for some reason I don't remember. What would you want your last words to be if you could choose them? "I love you" or then "see you on the other side" is cute to me and also indicates we'll be together again. So probably the latter. What band can’t you stand listening to? I reeeaaally dislike Mumford and Sons. His voice is awful. What is your favorite mystery/crime/FBI related show? Does Sherlock count as a mystery show? Would you ever have a bird as a pet? Nah. How’s your relationship between you and your grandparents? Not wonderful. I don't like her very much, and evidence says I'm not her favorite person, either. Do you have a photographic memory? No. Have you ever had to speak at a funeral? No. Do you know someone who’s been cremated? Hm, don't think so. Have you ever talked to someone when they were high? Yes. Your ex is on the side of the road, on fire. What do you do? Uh, call 911??? Dunk water on him if at all possible? I'm not just gonna drive past anyone who's on fucking fire. It’s 2 in the morning and you get a text message, who is it most likely? Sara. I only ever text her and Mom, and Mom would be right outside my door asleep, so. Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone? Is there anyone who hasn't? When was the last time you saw your father? Not since his birthday last month. Do you like any of Justin Bieber’s songs? No. Any time when you need to search something on the Internet, which search engine do you use? Google. Do you believe saving your virginity for marriage or no? I don't care. I believe in saving it for someone you truly, deeply love. When you were a kid, did you ever like Barney? Yes. Omfg I just remembered something with my older sister; when she was little, Barney was her "boyfriend." She was "talking on the phone" with him once, and when Mom interrupted her, she scoffed and said, "I'm talking to Barney." And then Ash and Barney had an ACTUAL "ceremony" for a divorce. That's a thing that happened. What’s the capital of state, country, or providence you live in? Raleigh. When you open your web browser, what is your home page set to? Why did you select this? Google. I think it was automatically set. Would you allow a camera crew to follow you around and make a reality series out of your life (no matter how boring it is) if you got paid well? Why? No. I'd get so fucking annoyed, I'd feel under constant scrutiny, and I don't want fame. If your car broke down would you call a friend or family member to pick you up or would you call AAA (or something like it)? I'd call my mom and listen to her on what to do from there. Do you put a lot of thought into the gifts you buy for people? YEAH. It's rare I actually have my own money to buy gifts for anyone, so when I can, I think hard. On an average day do your thoughts tend to be more positive or negative? Negative, I think. Do you ever trust anyone else to drive your car? If you don’t have a car, do your friends and family ever allow you to drive their vehicles? I don't have my own, but Mom lets me drive hers. Name at least one thing you like about each season. Winter: SNOW. Spring: Flowers!! Summer: swimming. Autumn: visuals. What amount of time do you think is perfect for a vacation? I guess a week?

[pureparadigm]

December 24 2019

Are you “with” the very last person you kissed?No, I’m single right now

Ever kissed a someone with the name Casey, Tyler, Ryan, Jordan or Colton? Yes

Was your last kiss, standing up, sitting down, or lying down? Standing up

Are you happy with the choices you’ve made?

I’m proud of where I am and the choices that have gotten me here

Are you excited for anything?
Tomorrow is Christmas!!! :)

Do you hate the last person you kissed? no

You’re stuck in an elevator with one of your worst enemies, what do you do? I don’t think I have any enemies. But I guarantee I’d try to talk about my feelings

Will this weekend be a good one? I hope so, but I don’t think I have any plans

Do you have a friend that is a complete and total flirt around everyone? Yes

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? I doubt it. I would be surprised

Are you mad at someone right now? No :)

Do you like to listen to the radio in the car? I just listen to Spotify for the most part

Do you sleep with a fan on? Almost always

How is your hair right now? Its up in a messy ponytail, I haven’t brushed it today

Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? My Willow girl 🖤

Have you ever broken up with someone for someone else? Yeah but I was young

How many windows are open on your computer? I'm on my phone

How tall are you? 5′6"

Is something bothering you? I feel content. I'm a little tired, I’m excited for Christmas with my family tomorrow (even though half of us are sick). I’m watching the Grinch right now 💚

Have you ever taken a shower with anyone before? Yeah

Have you ever laughed at something that wasn’t meant to be funny? Yes haha

Have you ever told someone of the opposite sex “Fuck you”? Yes, both jokingly and seriously

Do you like to cuddle? It’s probably my favorite thing to do (this hasn't changed)

Have you done anything sneaky lately? Sneakily gotten presents and wrapped them :) Christmas is more fun with surprises

Is your hair clean? Yes

Last night, did you go to sleep smiling? I was listening to music and fell asleep

Were you happy when you woke up today? Yes

What are you drinking right now? water, no ice

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? yes. Especially if i’m driving

Did you reject or accept your last friend request? I think I accepted it

How many people have feelings for you? Umm two that I know of for sure?

Have you ever been cheated on? Yes.

Are you hard to please? I don’t think so, it seems like I’m pretty easy to please

What are you craving right now? I was craving something sweet but I had some of my mommas fudge and now I’m content

How are you feeling right now? I would say peaceful...happy. I’m watching a movie I love with people and animals I love

What are you sick of? Nothing

Are you missing anyone/something? Yes

Do you love the last person you called? Yes, I love my momma

Could you date someone taller than you?
Yes

Is there anybody you just wish would fall of the planet? I’m sure I could think of someone (RT)

Did you hold hands with anyone today? no :(

Do you wear glasses? no

Where did you sleep last night? In my bed

Do you straighten your hair? no. Too much effort

Do you love the last person you called? Yes, I love my momma

What color shirt are you wearing? Tie dye

Do you have a best friend? I am blessed with several. Chris, Taylor, Victoria, Grace

Do you wish you had the chance to tell someone something right now? No I’m good right now :)

Who is the last person you got a text from? Karen

Are you texting anyone? Not right now

Are you excited for winter? it’s already winter!

When are you at your happiest? With Willow/cuddling, or eating good food

Do you find that you’re attracted to people who aren’t “right” for you? Sometimes

Do you prefer to spend your time indoors or outdoors? outdoors

What were you doing before you started this survey? Watching the grinch

Can you honestly say that you love yourself? Yes!

How many people have you kissed? I don’t know. I haven’t counted. But not too many

Do you just feel awkward when you dance? not usually because i don't really feel awkward about anything (RT)

Do you think you spend too much time feeling upset? No, most of the time I’m happy! (RT)

Is there anyone you would seriously punch right now if you had the chance? I don't really care enough to punch anyone

Do you own a pair of uggs? No

What are your plans for tomorrow? Christmas!!! Cinnamon rolls in the morning and gifts with my fam

Has the person you have feelings for ever told you that you’re attractive? Who do I have feelings for? The guy that came to mind first..no. He doesn’t know I like him

Can you get over people easily? noooo

Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is okay? No H

How was your weekend? I worked Friday Saturday and Sunday

Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? Yeah my best friend

How do you feel right now? Sleepy

Do you hide your feelings or show them? show them

Do you like to have long hair or short hair? Long hair

What is the last thing you cooked today? We had steak and potatoes for dinner

What do you always take with you? my phone/cards, my keys, my backpack

Have you dated the person you texted last? No

Is good grammar attractive? not particularly, it doesn’t drive me crazy like it does some people

Last person you drove around in a car with? Just myself

Do you think relationships are hard? Yes. Very.

What color shirt are you wearing? still gray

What are your plans for tonight? I’m finishing the Grinch and then probably going to bed :)

Any friends who are constantly venting about their boyfriend? No

Have you ever been ice-skating? yes! I like it but I’m not very good

Does the sound of rain at night help you sleep? I like to listen to it, probably

Have you ever seen an albino person, in person? Yes

Do you like Fuze drinks? never had one

Did the end of Public Enemies make you sad? Idk what that is

Have you ever worn a pair of scrubs? Yes

Do you obsessively apply lip-gloss or lip balm? no but I use chap stick basically every day in the winter

Anything in your room that you’re hiding from your parents or someone else? No

Do you think you’d have what it takes to shoot someone if you had to protect yourself? no..

What’s your most noticeable flaw? I’m overweight...maybe my teeth?

And what’s your best feature? Physically my eyes, or my kindness

Have you ever walked into a massive cobweb? YES. eeek

When you can tell that someone’s lying, do you call them out on it? depends

Have you ever hallucinated? No

Do you find serial killers fascinating? I mean, a little bit.

Do you like Young the Giant? I do

Is your hair damaged? No

Do you live with anyone that you try to avoid at all costs? No

Who was the last person you threw out of your life? “Threw out”? I have no idea

Are you wearing socks? Yes

Do you regret something you did yesterday? No

When was the last time you cried? Today

Why were you crying? Something to do with Christmas magic and the movie I was watching this afternoon

Whats the last thing you ate? Fudge

What kind of bottoms are you wearing? Fuzzy pj pants

How many windows are open on your computer? still zero

What do you hear right now? The Grinch

How many hours did you sleep last night? 8-9ish

Is something bothering you right now? No

Who’s the last person you talked on the phone with? Mama

In the past week have you gotten sick? No, thank goodness

In the past week have you felt stupid? No

In the past week have you got your hair cut? no

What were you doing at 9 AM this morning? Sleeping

In the past week have you felt sad? I don't think so

Has someone disappointed you recently? yes

Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? yes, they definitely are

If you could pack up and move, would you? yes probably 


Do you hate when people smoke around you? Yes

Who have you texted in the last 24 hours? Idk like 15 people

[fliipclaw]

session recap 4 - calling caligula

we did another d&d session yesterday and it was. a lot of fun. here’s a list of things that happened and things people said in a roughly chronological order. i’ve already done three of these, i’m sure you guys know the drill by now.

the session opens with reeliel and tarrik in the infirmary

“everything about that is just a paradox. the infirmary of the death arena”

[the game is interrupted by a phone call]

“tarrik, shut up, don’t make it worse!” “i’m already half dead, how much worse could it get?” “you could be fully dead”

this time we’re doing double battles

galle and grelynn are paired up against an ogre

“it’s been so long we’ve forgotten how to play d&d”

“so that’s 9 damage…. he hits you really hard”

“so you rolled a three” “[dejected] yeah” “you just fall over”

“we bonded! by… tripping over ourselves for a turn!”

“there are two more fights, and then hopefully, no more fights!”

galle trips a dude just for fun

“i just wanna be a dick sometimes, ‘kay?”

pluto is teamed up with ilah (an npc based on an oc)

“kill her” “noOO!”

“i already killed her once i can’t kill her again. bany might actually murder me” “i would”

“has his eye been healed?” “no, he’s still blind” “he’s not all of a sudden going to become not blind”

“you stabbed him like FOUR TIMES in the eye”

“it’s just a little bit scratched” “a LITTLE BIT?”

“he needs a bit of tlc, okay?” “he needs a new fucking eye!”

“thoth didn’t look very friendly at first, but look at him now. blind and my best friend”

“is the monster just watching this?” “yeah, it’s last in initiative order and talking is a free action”

[talking about the squirrel that my family has been feeding] bany: we have a possum that lives in the bushes outside

ilah and pluto are the worst duo in that they will maim creatures and then befriend them

“maybe pluto just makes everyone blind by default?” “maybe that’s why pluto’s so terrible as a rogue but manages to steal from everyone anyway”

bany sighs a lot during this scene it’s great

i admit to my shameless rigging of the game when my players are doing terribly

pluto: decides to befriend the monster / the party: do you want to use up your second friend slot??

“what is the creature doing right now?” “it’s probably bleeding” “but how’s it feeling?” “it’s feeling pretty bad”

ilah: befriends the creature / matt: we’re playing d&d with the fucking rspca

“this is the death arena, not the befriend the creatures that attack you arena” “it’s actually a petting zoo”

“what kind of monster are they fighting?” “it’s called an ettercap. it looks like…… i don’t even know how to describe it”

“that’s the plot of lord of the flies, pluto befriends an ettercap”

tarrik and reeliel, our resident failures, are paired up against a gargoyle

my rolls are always really terrible. it’s the d&d gods punishing me for not using physical dice.

reeliel runs up to tarrik, jumps up on and off his shoulders, and up into the air

she unfortunately misses her attack

reeliel casts thunderwave. tarrik is understandably pissed.

“hey matt, what’s your constitution like?” “not negative” “go ahead and roll then!”

there are a lot of pauses where i stop to do maths. i’m the epitome of that ‘when you’re gay and can’t calculate the tip’ video.

“you two actually did something competent for once!” “the two weakest members of the team!"

“as it turns out, everyone else was just holding us two back. that’s what it is” “are you sure?”

mikael poofs around this time. rip them.

the immediate response to being taken outside the arena is of course “making our way downtown"

bany: this sounds like a public execution / me: carries on explaining the scene

“notice how they ignored the question"

i discovered that i can’t talk and type at the same time

neriona: is there / tarrik: is flipping her off with both hands

“matt matt matt matt matt matthew. shut up”

there is an elf reclining on a chaise lounge eating grapes. tarrik drinks his wine.

“the bulla felix, come in, come in!” “oh fuck”

ilah and galle: sit down normally

tarrik: lies down and hogs an entire seat

reeliel: sits like L

cai: poofs / me: should we just carry on? / matt: i’m liking this shouting idea / bany: oh god

[the game is interrupted by a toddler]

“jax, don’t do that with your eye!”

“greetings, i am the emperor of this fine city, petpetor!” “what? your name is what?” “petpetor!” “petpetu?” “petpetor!”

[toddler noises] “cai, are you murdering a child?” “it sounds more like the child is murdering cai”

matt made a child cry in church one time just by looking at them

“go find auntie billie! take this!” “it’s not safe to go alone, take this!”

[the game is once again interrupted by a toddler]

“if that was me there would be children flying from the rooftop” “and that’s why it isn’t you”

are you stronger than a 2 year old? for cai, the answer is no!

“cai, are you made of noodles or something?” “yes”

god i’m just now listening to this character voice and it’s awful

petpetor asks them to investigate an assassination plot and find his would-be assassin

tarrik tries to wind him up and reeliel throws something at him from across the room

“i am prepared to stab this guy in the back just so you know”

“what’s in it for us?” “freedom from the death arena” “yeah okay we’ll do it”

“i want immunity for the rest of my squad" “if you stop robbing my friends, than yes” “can we rob your enemies?"

“he takes like the bowl of grapes off the table and shoves them in his mouth”

galle: idk who you people are but i’m good with not being trapped in a death arena

tarrik’s metric for liking people: the quality of their wine

the party has a private discussion and decides to investigate and then stab petpetor in the back

“regardless of whether or not neriona is actually the one behind this assassination, i say we frame her"

“do we have anyone who’s alignment is good on this team?"

“i think we will give tarrik free reign to rob the palace as long as we can also rob the palace”

“so far his suspect list is like half of the entire city”

everyone complimenting the write ups and i’m sorry this one is mostly quotes. not much action happened but we did have a lot of fun conversations.

“after the endgame, after we kill not caligula, what’s going to happen?” “don’t you worry about that”

“am i on reasonable terms with the party now?” “you’re getting there with me” “welllll…." “tarrik shut up, we don’t need anymore foes”

“i have 300 buried and 50 in a pair of dark pants on the edge of a road”

“bye!” “i’m glad we’re sorta friends now!” “well, kinda, not really"

[moiraineswife]

Feycien Apocolyplse AU?

Feycien Apocalypse AU: Right I’m just going for your bog standard typical modern day zombie apocalypse a la the walking dead here okay, Feyre does not get to be an accidental necromancer this time. 

Okay so Feyre is separated from her sisters when the outbreak happens and is desperate to get back to their hometown and see if she can find them because she needs to know if they made it. She’s almost 100% certain that nothing, alive or dead, is going to get the better of Nesta Archeron, especially not if she’s also protecting Elain, but she has to know, she made a promise to her mother after all. 

Feyre gets through on her own pretty damn well. She’s intelligent, scrappy, practical as all heck and quickly discovers the best way of killing the damn things and avoiding them wherever possible. She’s looting a pharmacy on the way to where she’s going when she hears a disturbance at the supermarket she was planning to tackle next. 

Cautiously, she goes nextdoor to look and realises that several of the things have pinned down someone else. She should just sling her bag over her back and leave them to it, it’s making a very nice distraction for her but…Well she needs the food and other supplies so with a sigh she takes the things by surprise which gives the other person in the store the opportunity to take out the other half.  

Once they’re done they stand watching each other for a long time. Feyre studies him, about her age, maybe a few years older, long red hair coming out of the loose braid its in, tall, slim, missing an eye but the other pierces her with an intelligent glint. Panting he thanks her for her help and offers her some of the supplies he’s gathered as a thank you and a place to stay for the night. She’s wary of him but…she hasn’t really slept that well on her own without anyone to watch over her, waking at every slight noise and a proper place sounds good. She figures she can take him if it comes to it. 

They don’t swap names, she just grunts her assent to his plan and stomps out of the store. He trails after her then leads the way, prattling the whole while and getting two and three word answers out of Feyre if he’s lucky. He huffs a little about it and she snaps at him but he surprises her and just laughs as he leads her inside a veritable manor house, into the living room which looks like the place he’s been sleeping. 

He explains, briefly, that he used to live here with his father and brothers but that they’re dead now. There’s a cold, callousness in his voice that stops her from asking any more questions. She doesn’t need to know, doesn’t care, she’ll be leaving him in the morning. 

Lucien offers Feyre some hot food which she hasn’t had in a while and this teases a little more of her story out of her. She explains that she’s on her way north, heading back home to find her sisters. He raises an eyebrow at this but doesn’t question that, only points out that she’s going the wrong way, heading more northwest than anything else. Feyre curses, slumping back against the chair and groaning. Navigation has never been her strong point and unfortunately satnavs don’t work for long in the apocalypse. 

He studies her for a long time then asks her quietly if she’s been on her own since this thing started? Feyre scowls and tells him she was with a group for a little while, headed by someone called Tamlin…It didn’t work out. She’s been on her own since then. Lucien seems impressed by this. 

He thinks for a little while, drums his fingers on the table top, then says that he could come with her, if she wanted, keep her on the right path, watch her path. Feyre squints at him suspiciously, asks him why he’d want to leave this and come with her. He just smirks and flicks a peanut at her, “For your charming, ravishing company, obviously.” She scowls and chucks something decidedly heavier than a peanut at his head which he dodges, snickering. He sobers a little when he shrugs and tells her the only thing worth staying here for is the piano - and he can’t even play that without attracting an unwanted audience of the undead. (Feyre does not mirror his goofy grin at this hilarious joke) But he says, more seriously, that he can’t last much longer here. The hoards are getting worse and he’s running out of supplies…if he went with her he could watch her back, they could help each other stay alive in this mess…He doesn’t have much else to do, at this point he’s just surviving out of habit. 

Feyre considers…She’s been doing alright on her own but…the further north she goes the worse things get. It’d be nice to have someone to keep an eye on her…And point her in the right direction. After a long moment she agrees. He grins at her in an oddly endearing way and tells her that his name is Lucien. She introduces herself as Feyre and with that finishes her meal and stomps into the living room, dropping her bag unceremoniously in a corner, settling herself down on a pile of cushions and warning Lucien in a low snarl that if he robs her she’ll never rest until she’s hunted him down and fed him to the meanest, hungriest group of walkers she can find. Lucien chuckles and decides he likes her. 

THEN IT’S JUST TROPE TIME. (This is the #1 reason I love apocalypse aus they open up…a whole vista of beautiful trope potentials) please consider the following: 

1)- Definite sort-of-enemies to friends to lovers because like…within ten minutes of them starting their journey the next day they probably want to murder each other. Because oh my god you are the most annoying person I have ever clapped eyes on why the fuck did I save you? You are literally the dullest person I have ever met if the apocalypse doesn’t kill me you will, I’m going to die of sheer boredom. They spend at least two weeks constantly sniping at each other and at least three times are so distracted by their bickering they nearly get eaten. (Also please consider: bickering at the same time as fighting. They’re literally snarling at each other while they save each other’s lives it’s beautiful.) 

2)- Getting to know each other a little better and okay maybe you’re not that bad, you can make me laugh sometimes. I feel safe around you…I haven’t felt safe since this thing started but..I feel safe with you. 

 You’re not that dull, I suppose, you have moments of wit that make up for the 99% of time you spend grouchy. And you are quite good at keeping us alive, I’ll give you that, your stubborn spirit appeals to me. 

They tell each other more about their families. Lucien flippantly tells her that this apocalypse was the best thing that ever happened to him since it got rid of his father and his brothers who were all, by and large, awful. He sobers a little when he speaks of his mother, murmurs sadly that she would probably have liked Feyre if he met her. But that’s pointless. He hasn’t seen her in years - his father kept him away from her - and anyway, she’s probably dead now, so this it’s pointless. His voice is cold and emotionless but Feyre is sure she sees a tear glistening in his remaining eye before he turns away from her. She doesn’t push him on it. 

Feyre explains about her sisters, Elain’s garden, her sweet, strong determination, the way she just keeps going, adapating and growing whatever the world throws at her - just like her plants. She tells her about Nesta’s stubborn determination, her pride, her icy mask and the fact that so few people ever bother to take the time to see beneath to the roaring, raging, loving heart that lingers beneath. 

3)- We are in the middle of the apocalypse how is your hair still so shiny and gorgeous; why do I want to spend all my time running my fingers through it? 

Your smile is very pretty - you don’t do it much but when you do your eyes sparkle and that pert little nose of yours crinkles up. It’s endearing. Please smile more. 

4)- Feyre is a mean shot with a gun but most unfortunately guns are noisy. Lucien it turns out has a shockingly well developed skill with a hunting knife (and a very large collection of them too) she doesn’t ask about it but she does ask him to show her how to use them (and he asks how to use her pistol) and listen…Then we just get like…Highly Necessary Sexually Charged Touchy Feelyness. No, no you’re standing wrong, let me nudge your hips a little, correct your grip and I’m going to spend the entire time staring into your eyes in a very sexual way because what else is the point of this apocalypse!? 

5)- So many near kisses. Like 16 near kisses. They spend a lot of time very close together making sexy eye contact (idk why they just do) Definitely get squished into confined spaces together hiding from zombies and we need to be quiet but also wow your eyes are really pretty this close up. I can count your freckles. That’s neat. I’ve only just realised that you put yourself on the outside so that they’ll take you first if they find us and I don’t know how I never noticed how handsome you were before now and you keep telling me you don’t care but..I don’t believe you anymore. 

6)- PATCH UP HEAVEN. So much patch-up. So much fussy Lucien. So much stubborn Feyre. So much: ‘I can keep going, it’s not that bad.’ ‘Yes, it is, you can barely walk.’ ‘I’ll be fine, we’ll just take it slower for a little while.’ ‘No, we won’t, we’ll stop and rest.’ ‘No.’ ‘Yes.’ *Lots of glowering fierce, hard-headed eye contact is made  here along with a large dollop of sexual tension just because* *Feyre starts to irritably walk away and Lucien grabs her arm, holding her in place* Lucien (softly and with feeling) “Please, Feyre, just…Let me do this for you.” *Feyre melts* Feyre (softly and with feeling) “Okay.” 

Cue Lucien’s big, deft (indecently attractive, like what the fuck dude I’m trying to survive an apocalypse here how am I supposed to do that with this distraction!?) gentle hands carefully cleaning and binding up Feyre’s wounds while he tuts at her and tells her that she really ought to be more careful while she’s being his knight in shining armour and saving his life. Feyre tells him flatly that well in that case next time she’ll leave him to his own devices and make sure she looks after herself…but he knows her well enough to note the small smile tugging at her lips, the glint of humour in her eyes and he grins at her in that way that’s slowly undoing her day by day and making her vulnerable in a way that she knows is dangerous given their current circumstances but…she doesn’t care. 

7)- ‘I found chocolate.’ ‘You did not.’ ‘I did.’ ‘Gimme.’ ‘Ah, ah, ah don’t be greedy.’ ‘Give me the chocolate.’ ‘So demanding, Feyre, where are your manners?’ ‘They went out of the window when I spent four months in your company with no chocolate. Give.’ ‘Close your eyes.’ ‘You can’t be serious.’ ‘Oh come on, it’s not that hard.’ ‘We’re in the middle of an apocalypse, Lucien.’ ‘I promise you can open them again if we’re in imminent danger of getting eaten.’ ‘Lucien-’ ‘Go on, no chocolate if you don’t behave.’ ‘Lucien, I will stab you in your other eye and sit on your corpse as I eat your chocolate.’ ‘You wouldn’t, you’d miss me too much.’ ‘I wouldn’t bet on it.’ ‘Oh I would, your life would be painfully dull without me in it.’ *Feyre heaves a very long-suffering sigh* ‘If I close my eyes, you’ll give me some chocolate?’ ‘I will, I swear it.’ Feyre closes her eyes very irritably then opens them again a second later to find Lucien very comically pouting at her for her cheating. She laughs a little then closes her eyes again and keeps them closed. Lucien breaks off a tiny piece of chocolate and presses it to Feyre’s lips, pressing it gently into her mouth. Feyre moans and slumps against Lucien in ecstasy and he laughs and looks down at her like she’s everything he’s ever wanted in the world. Feyre squints at him curiously, noting the look, “What?” “Nothing,” Lucien blatantly lies, wrapping up the chocolate and putting it away. Feyre whines piteously and Lucien whaps her playfully on the nose ‘More later,’ he tells her, ‘Too much of a good thing, you’re already spoiled rotten having me around.’ Feyre sighs and bickering commences as they set off again. 

8)- Look, there isn’t a lot of decent central heating in the apocalypse you know, they have to stay warm somehow. They probably avoid it most of the way but one night it starts chucking it down with rain and they find some draughty, ramshackle shelter that they both shiver in and can’t get a fire going because of the rain. Lucien smirks a lot and makes about 12 inappropriate comments a minute but when Feyre reluctantly backs up against him the arm he wraps around her is gentle and solid and being held in his arms is…oddly comforting. When they wake up the next morning they linger just a little bit longer than they need to before they make themselves separate and start packing up. After that they start sleeping with one another every night. Because you know warmth. Just warmth!!! We feel nothing!!! we are entirely emotionless beings!!! No feelings!!! (how they manage to lie to themselves for as long as they do is beyond me tbh. They are transparent) 

9)- Dramatic Rescue Scenes in which Feyre gets swarmed and Lucien returns the favour and saves her life. It’s still raining (for The Aesthetic) and for the most part he’s been pretty laid back about this whole surviving thing - as though he’s just doing it by accident and so as to keep gracing her with the glory of his presence. She’s never really, truly pulled a lot of emotion out of him but she does then. There’s a fire burning in his remaining eye as he looks at her and realises that he might lose her and that that is not something he is in any way prepared to do. He cuts through the bodies around her like a hurricane until he reaches her and the sight of him panting slightly, gaze blazing, hair plastered to his skin, blood smeared on his skin makes her want to survive this thing because she this, the depth in his eyes, the devotion there, makes her want to paint him. 

It makes her want to kiss him too. So she does. She just grabs the front of his shirt and pulls him down to her because fuck it, she’s done just surviving through this thing. She wants to live again. And he makes her feel alive. 

Lucien has been wanting to kiss this ridiculous, stubborn, serious girl for like a solid month at this point and there’s all this adrenaline flying around and okay the short version is that he is Into This.  

They find the nearest empty, enclosed, reasonably safe place and then clothes are coming off and Lucien is dragging a box of condoms out of his bag looking entirely too pleased with himself while Feyre raises an eyebrow at him. He probably makes some ridiculous comment about there being no such thing about being too prepared which gets cut off with a groan because Feyre is tearing open the packet with her teeth and that ends that discussion. She pushes him back and straddles him growling at him when he slides a hand between her legs because foreplay takes too damn long and she wants him now. Lucien doesn’t argue with this. She rides him hard and fast and neither of them lasts long because, like, apocalypse, but when they’re done she just lies down on top of him and Lucien has a moment of gentlemanly impulse and tugs a blanket over the two of them. 

He probably kisses the top of her head and warns her not to do anything like that to him ever, ever again. He can’t do this without her, he can’t. She’s stubborn and she can be impossible sometimes and god knows she tries his patience and infuriates him and he knows she’s sneaking pieces of that chocolate when he’s not looking but he has gotten quite fond of her during their time together, and she’s not half bad in bed and…and he needs her. Okay? Feyre after mumbling a lot of sleepy promises about not getting herself nearly eaten right in front of him again has fallen asleep with her head against his shoulder. He huffs about her rudeness but he’s smiling when he kisses her head and pulls the blanket up a little higher. It feels safe to whisper into the quiet darkness that he loves her. 

10)- Lucien spends…quite some time pondering over how the heck to tell this girl that he loves her. It’s not a very easy thing to tell someone when the world hasn’t gone to hell and they’re not under threat of being eaten by violent cannibalistic walking corpses every two minutes but while that’s happening it does complicate things. He doesn’t even know if he should tell her. I mean, it’s not exactly a good idea getting too attached to someone under these conditions. And maybe she doesn’t feel the same way. Maybe she just needed a release that night…and this morning…and this afternoon…and when they stopped for a little while to wait out the rain in the evening…and while dinner cooked…and after they’d eaten. But, well, they’re living under very stressful conditions, he doesn’t blame her for needing that. And he wouldn’t blame her for not being in love with him either, I mean why would she? He goes around in circles for several days and eventually decides that he won’t tell her. He doesn’t need to. He gets to be with her for as long as this new world gives him…That’s enough. 

Feyre doesn’t make a very big song and dance about it when she tells him. They’ve stopped for the night and are wrapped under a single blanket, sitting side by side, eating dinner.  Lucien slips her another piece of chocolate (after teasing her with it for a very long time while she -_-) He laughs and gives it to her and then kisses her so he can taste it on her tongue. Then he kisses her nose just because he likes the way it always makes her blink at him like a startled puppy and that makes him laugh. 

She just looks at him fondly as he laughs then comfortably rests her head gently on his shoulder, lets him put his arm around her, and murmurs that she loves him. He goes completely still and stares down at her in utter astonishment and she stares up at him with equal confusion, “You didn’t know?” He just laughs again, longer and louder than he’s done since this mess started then he murmurs that he loves her too and kisses her, long and slow and deep. 

11)- They keep going, bickering, fucking, fighting, surviving, loving each other. Eventually, exhausted, they reach a refuge and decide to stop there for a little while, ask some questions, see if anyone has heard news of Feyre’s sisters. It’s been so long and things have gotten so bad. They don’t talk about it but Lucien knows she’s all but given up hope. They’re sitting in a quiet corner at breakfast, alone (they haven’t mingled much, Feyre hasn’t wanted to and Lucien hasn’t wanted to do much that isn’t be with her) Feyre is perched in Lucien’s lap when someone cries her name as they hurtle towards her. 

Lucien continues to tell her years later that his liver was permanently relocated due the elbow she rammed into it pushing herself to her feet so she could embrace her middle sister as she hugged her. The eldest waited behind them, watching and briefly hugged Feyre too once Elain had finished embracing her and babbling at her and fussing over her, looked Lucien over and nodded to him once before she turned her attention back to her sisters.  

Nesta, it transpired, along with Elain’s help, had helped start the refuge when the outbreak started. She recognised that people would need somewhere safe, somewhere organised and sheltered where people could come together and help weather the storm that was blowing. It started out small but they have more than 600 people here now. She talks about it as though it’s nothing, of little consequences, but Feyre knows better, knows that she’s proud of this, as she should be. 

The sisters show Feyre around, explaining how things work. Nesta took charge with that way of hers and just got people sorted and told. She organised supply run crews, people to teach others basic self defence as well as first aid training. She personally deals with the logistics for all of their inventory and personnel. Elain was working part-time at the hospital and she gave them access to medicines and whatever doctors and nurses they could scrounge up to help them. Together they’ve made this somewhere safe and stable and they’ve saved a lot of lives through quiet strength and firm, steely resolve and determination. 

 At some point when they’re alone together Elain confesses a little tearfully that she..She had given up on her. She isn’t proud to admit it but she was so far away and things were so bad, hardly any new survivors were coming to them any more and…Elain breaks off, smiling at her, telling her she’s here now. She surprises Feyre by glancing up at where Nesta is drilling Lucien on first aid and he’s (to her obvious irritation) smugly doing everything he’s asked with ease, then murmuring that she never gave up. Nesta was always sure that she would make it here. She said Feyre was a survivor, and that she wouldn’t let a little thing like the end of the world stop her…She was right. 

(Bonus because this is my ridiculous zombie AU and I do what I want: a few weeks after Lucien and Feyre arrive and settle in, helping Elain and Nesta run the place, a ragged group of survivors make their way to the complex. They include a tall, pretty older woman with long red hair and eyes just like Lucien’s. She drops the neat little bundle of clothes and blankets she was given in utter shock as her youngest son sprints towards her and pulls her into his arms.)