#page 4551

[pesterloglog]

Dirk Strider, Roxy Lalonde, Autoresponder

Act 6, page 4550-4551

timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

TT: Roxy.

TT: Awake yet?

TT: Guess not.

TT: Let me know.

TG: whoaa

TG: damn

TG: hey dirk

TG: hada crazy dream

TT: There you are.

TT: But I see your dream self hasn't returned.

TT: You must be tying one the fuck on tight already.

TG: mybe i am

TG: like a bow of ribbone

TG: on a beiuetuifiul ponny

TT: Man, how can you be this much drunker than last time we talked?

TT: What the hell are you even drinking?

TG: ok but 2 b fair

TG: *beiuetuifiul

TG: was an intentional typo 4 ur benefit

TG: cuz i kno you loves tha po's

TT: It's a beiuet.

TG: so you spyin on me in derse ville again??

TT: Yeah.

TG: fuckin perv

TG: like what you see there? ;)

TT: I see precisely jack shit and a side of fuckall.

TT: That's the point.

TT: You got too sauced up and went rogue again. You're out there in your weird drifting stupor, independent of your waking self's awareness.

TG: you gonna go after me again

TG: get on your hornse

TG: galloop me home like prince charming back to swoon kingdong

TG: *OOOMG blushblushbluh

TT: No.

TT: In thinking it over, it's sort of a relief. Simplifies things somewhat.

TT: It's better you stay out there for a while.

TT: There's been a problem.

TG: whatd you do now

TT: Ok, I fucked up.

TT: I kind of made a mess here, and I'm not sure what to do about it yet.

TG: ??>

TT: No need for you to worry about it for now. I'll figure something out.

TT: Until then I'm just going to prepare for our session, while I think it over.

TG: zzzzzz

TG: what a surprise another mysfery for you to keep to yourself an overly cerebralize

TG: snooorre

TG: hey lets talk about something cool instead

TG: like the dream i had

TT: Ok.

TG: first i had some ordinary boring dreams that i dont remember

TG: but then i dreamed that i woke up from the drema

TG: and things got way bright and surreal

TG: and i saw someone

TG: i think it was supposed to be my daughter

TT: Why do you think that?

TG: you know those dreams where u just know someones suppose to be someone

TT: No.

TG: ok well

TG: regulgar people have those im pretty sure all the time

TT: Are you thinking it was prophetic? Like a glimpse of the future?

TG: i dunno

TT: Because that's not really how the abyss works. It's not Skaia, and we aren't Prospit dreamers.

TT: There's nothing like that out in the abyss. If you drift far enough, there is only horror.

TT: Terrible, terrible horror.

TG: ok but im not sayin it was a futuredream!

TG: it was just a glimple and it felt real and all im saying is it was a cool dream that i wish was real

TG: * glimpse

TT: Well, maybe it was.

TT: Maybe there's no fanciful game-supplied mechanism of prognostication involved here, and you're just an ordinary, run of the mill psychic.

TT: I guess that's possible.

TG: hey dick

TG: *dirk

TG: whaaaat do u think

TG: it would be like

TG: if we had kids

TT: What would it be like?

TT: Inconvenient, mostly.

TG: no i mean

TG: what would they be like

TG: th kids

TG: u ever think about it?

TT: Can't really say I have.

TG: you know for an eccantric guy you can be boring as fuck sometimes

TT: Sorry, Rox.

TT: For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl.

TT: Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.

TG: shuuuucks buster its just a fun lil hyphothetical to daydream about

TG: why you need to suck the fun out of shit

TG: like some turd hungry dracula

TG: its not like im lobbyin for you to hook me up with a whole mess of fuckin babbies

TG: or thats im holding on to any such delsusion thats even a remote possibility.....

TG: le siiiiiign..////

TT: Le sign?

TG: yes le sign you heard me

TT: Do you mean * le sigh?

TG: hmm nup

TG: ima stickin with le sign

TG: goign down with the shit

TG: *shi[p

TG: the S.S. LE SIGN, starring cap'n rolal

TT: What does le sign actually mean in this context?

TG: oh come on

TT: Come on what?

TG: LE SIGN IS UNIVERSALLY UNDERSTOOT TO MEAN TOO BAD HES GAY YOU DELIBERABLY OBTUSE DUNDERFUCK

TT: I mean, yeah, that's what I thought.

TT: It would just be cool if you'd refrain from tossing about such antediluvian terms.

TG: antediulivan waht

TG: me sayin ur gay u mean

TT: Yes.

TG: ok but terminology aside i dont think im off base!

TT: I don't see how it has to be a thing.

TG: i rly think its an actual thing bro

TT: Once upon a time, sure.

TT: But the world has changed a lot.

TT: Ever peek in a history book between your wizardly indulgences? This is a nuanced topic.

TG: man i know about the histories

TG: just

TG: believe me

TG: its a thig

TT: How is it a thing?

TG: its a thing beaucase if it wasnt a thing then u wouldnt be all like...........

TT: All like what?

TG: well wantin nothing to do w me 4 starties

TT: Don't be ridiculous.

TT: I have more to do with you than any dude could possibly bargain for.

TT: And I like it just fine.

TG: what a totatly lame + sweet answer simultaneouslay

TG: <3

TT: Yeah.

TT: Now maybe we should direct our focus on a matter which has nothing at all to do with what does or doesn't qualify as "a thing", or what our fantasy alt-universe offspring would be like, or anything like that.

TT: Such as this game, and whether you're in the best condition to be piloting Jane's connection.

TT: Maybe you could use another nap?

TG: my condidions just fine

TG: and anyway

TG: what aint gonna get slept offis the fact that i still dont think we should be touchin this bs witch game w a 20 foot 3dent

TG: we both know her plans need us to

TT: I know that. But I thought we settled this.

TG: its still so frustrating

TG: tellin jane about the dangers

TG: and even if shes being polite i just know she thinks im fulla crap

TG: about EVREYTHING

TT: We settled this too. She'll believe everything eventually.

TT: Why bother working so hard to convince her?

TG: well i dont even do that for the most part

TG: but it gets tiring and saddening

TG: knowing that

TG: even when were not activly talkin bout it

TG: that my best friend cant bring herself to believe some really basic things about my life

TG: like the shitty things the baroness has done to us

TG: or about our upbringin

TG: like

TG: do u know how misrable it is for your bff to doubt you

TG: when you tell her your mom is dead

TT: I guess.

TT: It just registers for me as a reaction which isn't completely unreasonable from her perspective.

TT: She is inundated with media coverage of those whom we've claimed as our parental figures.

TT: That they are not presently alive nor ever played that role for us as she understands it is just an extension of a much more elaborate and far reaching explanation, which is much harder for anyone to digest in its entirety.

TT: Well, anyone who isn't Jake, I mean.

TT: Still say you should cut her some slack.

TG: i know

TT: And need I remind you,

TT: That the potential this game provides for their resurrection is what motivated you to investigate it in the first place?

TG: no i remember

TG: i told u a million tines shit sounds like it could be the best thing EVAAAAAR

TG: * wherein evars capsed as heck

TG: but also that no matter how awesome it might be

TG: its probly gonna advance all the schemes of "her condescension"

TT: Right.

TT: But if we can stop her?

TG: part of me doesnt even want to give her the satsfaction

TG: of startin up at all

TG: like if we didnt wuolndt that wreck her shit just so hiliariously???

TG: so many olols

TT: I must be hard of counting, because I'm barely racking up a single goddamn o-laugh-out-loud at that self-defeating gesture.

TG: no but it would

TG: and for all we know starting it up is playing right in her claws....

TG: could be a trap waintin for jane the moment she enters

TG: if i stop her from playing

TG: maybe i could at leat give her a CHANCE at a future

TT: But there is no future on Earth for them.

TT: Or for us, for that matter.

TG: dunno that for a fact

TG: but anywaaaayyyy

TG: i kinda already

TG: made this bogus file for her

TT: What? Why?

TG: 2 scare the shit out of her

TG: make her learn to fear an respect the fuckin hag like she should

TG: then maybe we can drop this whole in game meetup slash reserection idea all 2 geth

TG: sweet tho it may bey

TT: Rox.

TT: I hope you're not thinking about sending her one of your batshit ~ATH scripts.

TG: on thas sobject

TG: i am miss zuipperpips

TT: Miss Zuipperpips?

TT: The amount of sense you haven't been making is un-fucking-real.

TT: Just go take a nap. And don't even think about sending her that file.

TT: Are you listening?

TG: hnnn

TG: i will take what u say

TG: underd serisous advicement...,

TG: *WONK* ~_?

TT: Jesus.

TG: dirk

TG: when did you stop bein any fun

TT: What?

TG: it use to be youd get a kick out off a slunt like that

TG: *stunt

TT: Man, you know I'm down with insane stunts.

TT: Insane stunts are practically all I'm all about.

TT: As long as I actually AGREE with the purpose they're intended to serve.

TT: Destroying Jane's computer and dissuading her from playing is not such a purpose.

TG: betcha ur responder would agree w me

TG: why cant your be more like him

TT: I am more like him.

TG: i mean MOAAAR like him

TT: You just mispelled "more", causing me to suddenly understand jack everything.

TG: hes more in touch with his feelins

TG: which just makes me L my FA off since hes a bobot

TG: *robob

TG: **bobob

TG: and he can actually loosen up sometimes

TG: kinda like u used to could

TT: I used to could?

TG: for 1 thing

TG: he doesnt insta shootdown a bip of frisky rp shenans now n then ;)

TT: Yeah...

TT: I kind of wish you wouldn't do that with him.

TG: why the f not

TT: It just seems a little tawdry and disrespectful.

TT: And vaguely exploitative of a still-emergent cognitive entity, whose perceptional frame of reference is difficult for us to comprehend.

TG: oh come on

TG: hes cool a guy just liek you its just he lives in some shades

TT: It rubs me the wrong way, is all.

TG: ohhhh

TG: do uuuuuu...

TG: WANT me 2 rub you the right way ;D

TT: Not really.

TG: zzz muh

TG: youre over blowin this

TG: its just an ironic funny thing we do some times

TG: come on im sure you read the transcripts urself

TG: its all alot of jokestery buiishit

TT: He blocks me from being able to read transcripts sometimes.

TG: oh

TG: wow he does?

TG: sneaky bastart

TT: And anyway, I'm really not sure how ironic it is.

TG: ok next time i will run it by the MASTAR first

TG: with his fancy fuckin ironimeter

TT: Ok, here's the thing with the AR, since you still don't seem to get it.

TT: He's very similar to me in thought process and behavior, yes.

TT: But those patterns were imported from a thirteen year old version of my psyche, and then sealed into the program as starting parameters.

TT: In the years since, we've both evolved somewhat. I, as humans tend to, and he, in whatever way is natural for a frequently running, self-aware application.

TT: So if there are differences between us, they're first reflected by what I feel is a maturity gap, and then further by several years of minor behavioral divergences.

TG: omg...

TG: hes 13yo dirk

TG: why did than not occur to me that is so cute

TG: and makes me feel kinda skeevy 4 sayin anything lascivious @ him

TG: dammit you ruin everything!

TT: You're welcome.

TT: Yo, you guys realize I can hear you, right?

TG: pfffffhahaha

TT: Yes, I was aware.

TT: Check out all these complicated fucking problems people have when they have to live in big lumbering fleshmonsters instead of a sweet pair of shades.

TT: Dude, do you think you could sit this one out for a while? This conversation practically doesn't even concern you at this point.

TT: It seems there is some gnarly crooked number that represents the percentage of probability you just said this doesn't concern me.

TT: Even though it's patently obvious that half the conversation, like, way totally concerns me.

TT: Shit, Roxy look. He's doing the thing where he ironically pretends to fail the Turing test to sass me into submission.

TT: Even though I was the one who fucking programmed him to do that.

TG: ell

TG: emm

TG: eff

TG: ayy

TG: OFF~~!~

TG: like my butt is juts there on the floor

TG: is how hard i elled it off just now

TT: (Not peekin' at the floor butt cause I'm only 13 years old, motherfuckers.)

TT: This is fuckin' dumb.

TT: I'm going to leave both of you to interact however you want. I have important shit to deal with and actual responsibilities to take seriously.

TT: Roxy, go nap off your drink, or aggressively wage another flirtlarping campaign, whatever, I don't care.

TT: Just don't send that file to Jane, ok?

timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

[melodyofthevoid]

The Crane Wives: Beyond, Beyond, Beyond

(The finale, for now. Hard to believe that I've been working on these for almost 2 years. Anyways, enjoy)

Now we arrive at the threshold, album five. The first studio album in nearly a decade, and a testament to all that came before and between. Themed and defined by change in all its forms. The lack of, the desire for, the consequences in both its wake and absence. The price of moving forward and the price of standing still. Even the sound isn’t immune, with the newer tones and style developed over the singles shown off in solos that range from electric to more traditional. Some songs challenge ones from years past, others a continuation, but all part of an ongoing conversation that ends with resolve. A desire to cross through. 

The question is, will you follow through the looking glass?

Scars

How did this happen? It’s a question that comes naturally whether or not there’s truly a reason. Why am I like this? The eternal feud of nature vs nurture, whether the tangled mess of anger and bitter emotions stemmed from a single event or bloom from somewhere within. If the well was poisoned before the symptoms started to show. 

And does the source even know that they left the poison to begin with? 

The first few chords warp those of another song, a crooning cry from a parent who’s severed the ties and left the singer adrift. Their mournful tone twisted and distorted until it turns into the sharp twangs of a guitar, heavy footfalls that drive the song forward. A tired trudge burdened and haunted. 

The singer is not who they thought they were. The refrain that carries over and over again- starting each train of thought. They’re struggling to keep their head above water, aching in a way they’ve always known. Born to in a storm that left them with a piece of itself forever. The anguish hereditary. Or maybe there’s another reason. The effect is still the same. This misery is a constant companion, 

Ruefully they acknowledge all of the effort put towards them, the love and kindness, plans made with all good intentions to guide them towards a brighter and better future. Futile efforts made to no avail. They watched as they failed time and time again, trying to cross the gap to understand where the singer was and give a way forward, but a bridge constructed from only one side is doomed to fail. Letting that hard work near them risked vulnerability and letting the other close. 

And how could they let them close to who they are? Broken in some fundamental way from the beginning. Destined to fail and shatter leaving them scarred, to signal to the outside what was wrong within. 

Then the subject switches from those who’d tried to help, to the origin of their suffering. The piece is a companion to “Never Love an Anchor”, and the one left behind sees only the abandonment, the fact they weren’t enough to stay for. The anguish their parent felt at their personal failings and inability to care for the singer now passed on, a wound to their ego. A tire fire, caustic and toxic that refuses to be put out. 

They were meant to fall apart, to wind up with scars. 

Because isn’t it easier if there weren’t any other options? If this flaw sabotaged all of the work put in and rendered it all futile? Then there’s no fault, no blame to be laid. An easy surrender to the inevitable.

The question is will they continue to live like this. To allow the scars to fester, or seek out a balm despite the pain. For now, they accept their fate as the music cuts all at once. 

Bitter Medicine

Hard truths go down easier with a bit of sugar, you catch more flies with honey, axioms to explain the act. Of using a veil to cover up the unpleasant parts of life. Without it what’s left? Just the ugly, twisted, reality of it all. Sometimes it’s all you have. And it’s stifling. 

The singer looks at where they are. Wasted, inebriated either in a literal or metaphorical sense. Unable to be trusted to take themselves home or to drive their own life. A pathetic state of affairs, one they’re all too aware of. It’s the bed they’ve made for themselves, the consequences of their actions they accept with a blithe and self-effacing smile. They wonder how the one they love sees them. If they’re ashamed or if the front they’ve put on until now. A cheap imitation of some “better” person that isn’t long for this world. 

They could be worse, so much worse. Poison sits on their tongue and they swallow and bite it all back to keep it inside. The toxicity accumulates in their body and slowly kills them inside as it has nowhere else to go. No one else deserves it, to know how corroded and hollow they are on the inside. They’re sick, but they can’t let anyone in. They’ll play the part of everything they’re not in hopes it distracts and entertains but it’s hurting them just as much as the rest. 

And if someone sees through it, what then? Can look past the facade? The singer both yearns for it and fears it in turn. They need someone to clean up the mess around them, the mess they’re unable to touch. The accumulation of a thousand small cuts bleeding out into a river. Each on their own barely noticeable but together they build upon each other. 

Accepting an offered hand is another question in and of itself. Do they deserve it? Is it a gift given or is it taken? Someone’s else’s good intentions wasted on their act, for their own faults. It’d be a waste on them, and so they continue on as they were. Suffering in their own skin and hiding behind the mask that chokes them. 

In another life, they’d let it all go, but this isn’t that life. The singer’s convinced this is all there is. Convinced that their arsenic laced words are medicine. The truth. But they’ve decided that it is. 

And so it is.

Higher Ground

When you’re lost in the midst of an upheaval, when the earth itself is turning on its head, sometimes the only option, the only means of survival, is to go, to remove oneself from the situation. But there are things left behind, an impact not intended. A decision that can be as consequential as the event itself. 

Such is the singer’s predicament. They’re trying to look out ahead, but they can’t see the horizon, can’t see beyond today. Higher ground could give them a better view, a larger picture and save them, but there’s a cost to that choice. A domino effect is spiraling out after they spoke their mind, let go of the truth. What’s done can’t be undone and now everything is changing, shifting. What once was close drifts apart, what once was parted clashes, titanic shifting of tectonic plates. Inexorable forces that leave nothing untouched. 

And nothing undamaged. Someone’s going to get caught up, hurt. Once they come down they’ll see the full extent of it all and that terrifies them. But again, it’s out of their hands.  

Every warning sign is flaring, ravens and crows are heralding incoming danger. A predator. A threat to everything in sight. But with all that they’ve set into motion, is the warning for them? Or about them? This wasn’t the plan, not to hurt anyone, not to change everything, but they won’t know for sure. Not until the dust settles and they stand above it all. 

They’ve survived, at least. 

Predator

When every shadow becomes a claw, every smile hides a threat, the world becomes an endless hall of mirrors, reflecting back all of one’s fears. Nowhere is safe, not when you’re the world’s prey. 

“What’s the worst thing that could happen?” The rhetorical question, that to the anxious, isn’t rhetorical in the least. It’s the risk they measure the outside against, the guide to all actions. If they can imagine the worst possible outcome then it can be prepared for, warded against. Because disaster will come, inevitably. Staying on guard at all times, lest their comfort come at the cost of their safety (even if the sky is not falling, it’s easy to panic at every little crack. Perhaps they’re too prepared.) 

When it hits, as it always does, it’s their own fault. They know better. They let in a predator, lowered their walls and their guard to someone who, not for the first time, left them wounded and vulnerable. Signs were missed that they’d seen before, a lesson they should have learned the hard way but failed to truly comprehend. So it’ll happen again. 

Regardless of the fact that someone else took those actions. It’s their fault. It has to be. 

To the prey animal, confrontation is to be avoided at all costs, so the response to danger is to fawn. Follow the path of least resistance and never put up a fight. If there’s a problem, it’s probably their own misinterpretation of the situation, because… If they say no, if they push back, there could be consequences. They could get hurt, cut by sharp teeth and sharper words. 

But there’s only so much that someone can put up with and stand before it’s too much. Gaslighting finally igniting a spark of resistance. They’re already struggling to breathe, struggling with the constant anxiety and fear and this? They don’t need this too. What if they didn’t have to live like this anymore, and they finally said no? 

And at last they confront at least one of their fears. Calling out their treatment, the fact they’ve been used. Trying to better this person, hoping that they’ll see the harm they’re causing on their own, they’ve done it a hundred times and it’s never happened. They keep getting hurt. The predator can’t see the blood on their teeth, doesn’t know their own strength, the bodies in their wake.

But no, not this time. 

Say It

No one wants to be the first to leave. The first to sever ties. Admit defeat. Even in spite of years of change, of what once was withering on the vine, sometimes there’s still hope that the garden can recover, however impossible and slim. A loyal dog that waits, tied to a post, for an owner that won’t come back. Because what if it goes back to the way it used to be? That honeymoon phase where everything blossomed and bloomed. But it won’t. 

The singer wonders where it went wrong? Staring at the person they once considered so close and begging for an answer. Was it them? Was the reality of their personality, their flaws, too much to bear? Erasing the idealized version that their partner once held of them? Were they, are they disappointing to know truly? 

Without an answer, they demand a different one: tell them it’s done. Let them out. Let them stop hoping for a spark to rekindle the flame of passion. Otherwise they’ll remain there in the dark. Pining for better times. 

Because once upon a time their lover gave them everything. Provided a haven and home. A gentle hand that wiped away their tears and pulled back their layers. All of those memories of warmth against the bitter cold of the present call into doubt their sincerity. Did they really care before? Was it all pretend? 

Would it be better if it was? 

The guillotine hangs over their head, a blade that could sever and end their suffering but instead hovers. A reminder that it could end at any point but won’t. They wait dutifully, a dog who can’t help but take what they’re given. Loyal and faithful even when that love and devotion isn’t returned. 

But if it was real once, they would do it over again. Wouldn’t they? Or would the one the singer holds so dear choose to avoid their relationship altogether. To alter their paths so that they never met. Have things fallen apart to where it was never worth it in the first place? Is the thought of what they’ve become so toxic, so tainted, that they'd give up whatever good came of it to spare themselves?

The question lingers, and so the singer does nothing but wait, too afraid to take the first step. 

Waiting for them to say it. 

Mad Dog

A fruitless pursuit, an endless chase, the eternal drive to reach for that promised oasis shimmering just beyond the horizon a few steps away. There is no exit condition when a paycheck is all that stands between you and losing it all. Enter the workforce at 18 (or younger), keep working until you’re 72 (or older), then you can maybe lie down. Can’t grind yourself to the bone too early, can’t run out of steam yet. If just a little more money is made, a few more spare coins stuffed away for later, maybe it’ll resemble happiness. 

The singer’s blinders keep them on the same track they’ve always known, striving to achieve when all it’s done is lead them further and further from home. Tunnel visioned and yet it’s never in reach. No matter how far they run. How hard they work. 

But no one else is keeping their bills paid, no one else is going to make them a millionaire, so they keep repeating and repeating. Hoping that they’ll get an answer back that isn’t the same as before. 

Thus, the chase continues, a dog chained to a post snapping after a rabbit it can never catch. Running, and running, and running, yet forever tied to the same spot. Once that leash runs out of room the retaliation snaps back with a vengeance. Punishing the hound for stepping out of its role and putting it “where it belongs”. Daring to yearn for more cannot be tolerated.

As if the empty race weren’t enough, there’s debt to be paid too. A rock burdening every step, forcing those bound to it to step lightly. Any misstep could spell disaster, drop the guillotine, it’s a constant tightrope cutting into their feet. And it’d be easier if someone else, anyone else, could choose which way to go. To give a direction that won’t lead to disaster. To take that burden off their shoulders. 

Because water’s coming in, the debt’s getting worse, and they’re going to go down. The shore’s visible, it’s there, there’s something beyond the current situation, but it’s not getting any closer.

Whatever hope there is, it’s almost manic. The only thing keeping them afloat. Maybe they’ll get lucky and strike it rich, maybe they can make this paycheck go a little further. But there’s no support, no one to wipe their tears, keep them from teetering off of the edge. 

So the race continues. The pull and snap, the desperate clawing up the hill until Sisyphus’ boulder falls back down again. Stuck in a cycle out of their control. 

At least until they can find the one that chains them. They may not catch the rabbit, but they can bite a hand.

Arcturus Beaming

There’s something special about that moment at rock bottom. Not in the state of it, the despair, the agony, no. There’s something about that moment when it changes. Changes from an endlessly growing pit to… simply the bottom. A moment in time where suddenly the perspective shifts and now there’s a way out and up, a perspective changed by a sight once taken for granted. Maybe it’s the leaves changing in the fall, the sound of people laughing and talking in a cafe. A favorite drink you want to have again. 

Or maybe, it’s the sky. That shimmering tapestry. Dotted with a trillion points of light (should you live far enough away from any pollution to see it) it has served as an inspiration for so many. Ever changing and yet… always there. 

Arcturus glimmers as the 4th brightest star in the solar system, visible during summer in the northern hemisphere. Visible to those even in more light polluted areas, reminding them that there’s more out there than the limited vision of the pit.

The singer begins there, thanking that dark place, where despair threatened to ravage them. They hid from the world there, sheltering to wallow in their pain as it became all they could see for a time. It shrunk their view of what could be, leaving a feat that seems all but impossible. Plato describes a scenario in which a prisoner lives their entire life within a cave like the singer’s own, shown only shadows of objects. Those simulations as their only context, all that they know. But the singer is curious, and that fear can only hold them for so long. They may understand the cave, the pain, but what else is there? 

Hurt accumulates over time, sediment that solidifies into a weight that’s carried wherever one goes. It can be an impossible challenge to free oneself of it, to breathe easy after lifting that stone for years. One’s ribs aching from the strain. But stone is not permanent. Not invulnerable. A steady drip of water can erode, a river can carve a canyon so impossibly wide it’s visible from beyond our atmosphere. Those layers, both easily added, can also be worn away. Leaving something new in its wake. 

That time spent has a cost, of course. Dreams left abandoned, relationships broken, so many avenues that could have been simply… gone. That grief will linger, and that’s alright. But what exists beyond that? What happens when we look up and dream? 

Beyond what we know, beyond what we understand, are there others who look at our sun and wonder? Beyond ourselves are there others crawling out of their caves and seeing more. Maybe we could all dream more

It’s not too late to do something once the revelation hits. To forfeit is the only ending, when we resign ourselves to suffering. But that’s not all life is, it can be changed. We just have to do it. Have to take the steps to push past the indulgent self-flagellation of the cave, and resolve to keep moving. 

This experience rings true for myself. I found I’d dug into a mindset where I feared so much. The future, stagnation, the impossibility of becoming anything other than what I was. Littered with the half started remains of failures, hesitant half starts cushioned by a numb resignation. Couldn’t be disappointed if I never hoped. Cycles of self defeat. Overwhelmed, I laid on the deck outside and stared up into the same sky that inspired this song. Clear inky darkness pinpointed by a million specks of light. I laid there for some time, the same music I’ve detailed in these pages my only companion to a realization that felt so obvious in hindsight and yet I… I needed to come to the conclusion myself.

I can start again. 

It doesn’t matter if I’ve tried a hundred times and the patterns didn’t stick. I can try again. Old behaviors, failed coping mechanisms, they can rear their ugly heads but there is tomorrow. There is a future that I can find. A me I can guide with new tools if the old ones don’t serve me. It may take time, it may hurt. But that’s my decision to make. 

Nothing will change until I change. And we can. 

Time Will Change You

The constant, the inevitable, the sensation of sand slipping through fingers and waves wearing down a shore. A metronomic beat follows the sound of a rusted hinge, thudding footsteps from a never ending march that never relents even as a guitar twangs above it. A companion in the flow. 

The singer too is dragged along with it, pulled along as they almost gasp out the words. It hurts, some part deep inside them finally gave way and broke. It aches and it won’t end- They’ve loved and lost, planted the remains of their heart into a grave, a seed watered by their grief that may or may not bear fruit again. 

And yet there is a twisted comfort on the horizon. Time will continue as it always does, seasons will pass, and with it, things change. For better or worse the singer will change. Everyone will change, and as they do they’ll leave behind what remains stagnant. Phases and traits that once defined are now locked in amber. No longer a part of the present. 

Time doesn’t affect all equally, there is no system that doles out appropriate fates, some can swim and survive the current while others are subsumed entirely. The rush overwhelming in the moment, and it’s impossible to tell which way is up. But the tide will ease, nothing is forever, good or ill. Relax, let time move you and you’ll float along it. 

And you’ll be changed. Like the stone smoothed by a river, edges worn away, the place you once rested, now far in the past. 

And letting go takes effort, make no mistake. Healing even more so. If the grief never grows, doesn’t evolve, doesn’t become more than what was put there before, then it can stay where it is. Left to fade into nothing more than memory. A step along the winding path to the end. 

The journey no one leaves the same.  

Black Hole Fantasy

The concept of a black hole needs no explanation nor introduction. The complete and total collapse of a star, pulling in all light and substance. The basis of many a metaphor for endless hunger, destruction. The end of all things. Yet- they’re often theorized to contain more. Maybe the end of one thing could lead to somewhere else entirely. 

For her part, the singer finds herself stuck in place, whether by some inexorable gravity or circumstance. Repeating the same orbit, going through the motions of life and losing sense of herself. If there’s more to living, a chance or opportunity for a different path, it’s fading from view. The longer one stays complacent, the harder it becomes to move. To find that missing piece that their soul longs for, but doesn’t have the words for. 

Every day blends into the next, the walls of their home becoming smaller as their world shrinks. At the center lies the Black Hole, the gnawing yearning, the pit of absence that they’re ignoring. Hoping it will go away, but it won’t. Ignoring hunger won’t fix a want of food, pretending not to hear a leak won’t prevent the damage. 

And they know what they’re yearning for, or rather- who. But it’s- surely it’s nothing. Nothing more than a chemical reaction, serotonin and oxytocin playing tricks on her. It’d be easier if she could suppress it. She doesn’t know if it’s real, and so what if it is? Confessing, taking a chance… There’s a cost. The foundations she’d build could all crumble to ashes. 

That is if the hole in their chest doesn’t collapse it all first, the time lost to routine is getting longer, time speeding by even faster, with whole weeks passing in an indistinct mass. 

So she goes to confront it head on, driving to confess on the doorstep. But then she stops. What happens next. What happens if it all goes wrong? What if they lose them forever? What if they don’t feel the same? How could they feel the same. The singer doesn’t believe in a happy ending, frankly. Why would any dream of theirs have one? Even in the best case there’s so much that could go wrong that it’d be safer to leave the car running. To leave. Retreat back into themselves where they won’t get hurt. 

But the world keeps crumbling in around them, their room is suffocating, as they’re consumed by the limitations they’ve put in place. Months, years, what does any of it even mean? None of it means anything… and the temptation to look into the black hole finally wins out. 

Instead of a small, enclosed world, there’s more on the other side. She catches a glimpse of herself and there’s light in her eyes, laughter on her lips, and- is she even capable of that? Could she be? Can she find what could bring that life, that joy, that love- 

No, she does know. 

Stars shining above, the singer returns to the dream she shows away from once. But this time she’s turning off the car. This is what she wants. Throwing away the keys and the fear and running up to the door. And it opens. Their love is there and every doubt is gone as arms reach out for her. 

Wrapped in an embrace, the singer can finally catch her breath, and when she pulls back, she smiles. Laughing at how complicated she made this simple moment. Maybe she wasn’t alone in that, as her love joins her. They were waiting on the other side of the door, after all. Twin stars pulled into each other’s gravity, destroying what was before and starting something new. 

Gentle guitar replaces the singer as she walks towards her new life, no longer bound to what was. Closing the scene, rolling credits. 

Red Clay

Work harder, just put more effort into it, the struggle makes it worth it, nose to the grindstone, phrases that are ingrained into the zeitgeist. The more pain experienced, the better the outcome. 

Right? 

An endless climb up a clay mountain, never fully able to get a grip, a Sisyphean struggle that feels like reality. With the Sun beating down, the top never coming closer, the question occurs: what is this for? Why keep pursuing this path that’s only lead to more suffering? Suffering that’s self inflicted no less. 

That one pause is all it takes to break through the tunnel vision, for the singer to take in all of their surroundings. Another path, shaded and just within reach was there all along. They don’t need to do this “the hard way”. It may be all they’d known, but they can see beyond that mound now. 

Their struggle wasn’t for naught, they were afraid for many years, yes. But they understand their fear now, they can be brave, even with that fear. They don’t have to keep on this path. 

The shaded trees beacon. 

River Rushing

Something finally gave. The frustration mounting day by day, it’s too much. Dammed up and now the singer’s had enough. They’re breaking down the walls, the barriers, everything that keeps them crushed under the weight of their regrets. They’re going to change. To let loose their desires and follow the river. 

The singer craves freedom, the person they once were buried under layers of concrete and expectations. If they hold onto these regrets, all the grief of time wasted, then they’ll never grow. Beneath every thought is the phrase they know is true: that there’s no shortcuts here. The only way out is through, charging ahead no matter what. 

Maybe they hesitated before, waited too long and lost something. Someone. But a voice reassures them to hold themselves steady. To go when they’re ready. Because they are ready now. 

Just believing that everything will work out kept them in place, they’re full of defiance, they have bite, a voice that demands to be heard. They’re going to pry the hand around their throat off once and for all. They’ve set their mind to it. 

They’re ready to go beyond. 

[sunshinecoastwebdesign1]

Website Maintenance and Support In Australia

In today's digital landscape, a strong online presence is essential for businesses of all sizes. In Australia, where the internet plays a vital role in consumer behavior, maintaining a well-functioning website is more important than ever. Website maintenance and support are crucial components that can significantly impact your business's success. Here’s why investing in these services is essential. #Sunshine Coast Web Design

Why Website Maintenance Matters

1. Security

Cybersecurity threats are constantly evolving, and Australian businesses are not immune to attacks. Regular website maintenance includes updating software, plugins, and security protocols to protect against vulnerabilities. This proactive approach helps safeguard sensitive customer data, ensuring your business remains trustworthy and compliant with regulations like the Australian Privacy Principles.

2. Performance Optimization

A slow-loading website can deter potential customers and harm your search engine rankings. Routine maintenance allows for performance optimizations, such as image compression, code minification, and caching strategies. These improvements enhance user experience, reduce bounce rates, and ultimately lead to higher conversion rates.

3. Content Updates

Your website is a reflection of your business, and keeping content fresh is vital. Regular updates to blogs, product listings, and service pages not only engage visitors but also signal to search engines that your site is active. This can improve your visibility in search results, driving more organic traffic to your website.

4. Technical Issues

Websites can experience various technical problems, from broken links to server downtime. Routine maintenance helps identify and resolve these issues before they escalate, ensuring your site remains functional. Quick response times to technical glitches can mean the difference between losing a customer and retaining their business.

5. User Experience

A well-maintained website enhances user experience. Regular audits and updates to navigation, design elements, and mobile responsiveness ensure that visitors can easily find the information they need. An intuitive user experience not only retains existing customers but also attracts new ones through positive word-of-mouth.

Choosing the Right Support

When it comes to website maintenance and support in Australia, selecting the right partner is crucial. Here are some factors to consider:

1. Experience and Expertise

Look for a company with a proven track record in website maintenance. They should have a strong understanding of various platforms, coding languages, and best practices in web security.

2. Comprehensive Services

Choose a provider that offers a range of services, including security updates, performance monitoring, and content management. A one-stop shop simplifies the process and ensures all aspects of your website are covered.

3. Responsive Support

In the digital world, issues can arise at any time. Opt for a support service that provides timely responses and assistance, ensuring minimal downtime for your business.

4. Custom Solutions

Every business is unique, and your website maintenance plan should reflect that. Look for providers that offer customizable packages tailored to your specific needs and budget.

Contact Us Today! 

🌐 : https://sunshinecoastwebdesign.com.au/ 

☎: +61 418501122

✉: sales@sunshinecoastwebdesign.com.au 

🏡: 32 Warrego Drive Pelican Waters Sunshine Coast QLD, 4551 Australia

Conclusion

Investing in website maintenance and support is not just about keeping your site functional; it’s about enhancing your brand's reputation and customer trust. In Australia’s competitive online market, a well-maintained website can be a significant differentiator. By prioritizing maintenance, you ensure that your website continues to serve as an effective marketing tool, driving growth and success for your business. Don’t wait until issues arise—embrace proactive website management to stay ahead of the curve.

[headachesandchiropracticcare]

Headaches and Chiropractic Care

At Wellsure Chiropractic, we understand how debilitating headaches can be and are committed to providing effective relief through expert chiropractic care. Whether you're suffering from tension headaches, migraines, or cervicogenic headaches (headaches related to neck issues), our experienced team offers personalised treatment plans designed to address the root causes, not just mask the symptoms. Chiropractic adjustments can help improve spinal alignment, reduce muscle tension, and promote overall nerve function, all of which can lead to a significant reduction in headache frequency and intensity.

With years of expertise in headache management, Wellsure Chiropractic combines advanced techniques and patient-centered care to help you live a pain-free life. We use a holistic approach that prioritises your well-being and ensures long-term results. If you're tired of relying on medication and want to explore natural alternatives, chiropractic care could be the solution you need.

Ready to find relief? Visit our Headaches and Chiropractic Care page for more information. Connect with us on our Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/wellsurechiropractic/ and Twitter at https://twitter.com/wellsure4551 for updates, tips, and patient success stories. For questions or to schedule your consultation, call us at 0754382008 or stop by at 3/6 First Avenue, Caloundra QLD 4551. Start your journey to better health today!

[websitebloggers]

Can Botify Help Your Business Leverage Technical Seo? Unlock the Benefits of Botify for Your Business? Discover How Broken Links Impact Technical SEO for Business Discover How Duplicate Content Can Impact Your Business Find Out How Technical SEO Can Fix Broken Images Unlock the Power of Canonical Tags for Your Business? Unlock the Benefits of Schema Markup? Unlock the Power of Alt Text: What Can it Do for Your Business? Utilizing technical SEO to maximize the potential of search engine optimization can make a major impact on your business. It helps you achieve top rankings for pages, resulting in increased website traffic and income generation. Organic search is often a significant portion of enterprises' overall marketing budgets. But to truly maximize the return on your SEO investments, you need an integrated approach that blends on-page, off-page, and technical tactics for optimal success. To read the rest of this article, please click on the link below: https://websitebloggers.com/can-botify-help-your-business-leverage-technical-seo/?feed_id=4551&_unique_id=656b1d799e0d7

[dirkspanelcollection]

Every panel Dirk Strider is in. Part 2

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Every panel Dirk Strider is in. Part 1

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[homestuck-book-club]

Week 15

Week 15: Reading to 4727, which is 308 pages overall, which is 44 pages a day! (so glad it was an even split this time lol) 21 November (Monday)- 4420-4463 22 November (Tuesday)- 4464-4507 23 November (Wednesday)- 4508-4551 24 November (Thursday)- 4552-4595 25 November (Friday)- 4596-4639 26 November (Saturday)- 4640-4683 27 November (Sunday)- 4684-4727

[tennisworkout-blog]

TennisWorkout

Tennis Fitness Website 7 Shelley Park, Shelly Beach QLD 4551 0411 243 245

Tennis Fitness was founded by Nathan and Giselle Martin who have been at the forefront of worldwide, tennis fitness innovation and tennis fitness training for the past 16 years. They have helped tennis players of all levels – from Wimbledon champions to social hitters and school kids – reach their potential through improved physical performance, injury reduction and ongoing education. The ‘Martin Method’, a brand name in the world of tennis fitness trainers, takes the experience and knowledge gleaned from working with athletes like Lleyton Hewitt, Sam Stosur, Martina Navratilova, Jennifer Capriati, Svetlana Kuznetsova and Monica Seles and applies it to all players of all standards. It’s a complete tennis fitness workout, stretching from warm up and cool down routines to speed, agility, power, tennis footwork and much more. Nathan and Giselle have trained five world number one players and are based on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland. Tennis Workout Our Social Pages: Facebook Twitter YouTube Instagram

[tennisfitness-blog1]

TennisFitness

Tennis Fitness

WEBSITE

7 Shelley Park, Shelly Beach QLD 4551

0411 243 245

Tennis Fitness was founded by Nathan and Giselle Martin who have been at the forefront of worldwide, tennis fitness innovation and tennis fitness training for the past 16 years. They have helped tennis players of all levels – from Wimbledon champions to social hitters and school kids – reach their potential through improved physical performance, injury reduction and ongoing education. The ‘Martin Method’, a brand name in the world of tennis fitness trainers, takes the experience and knowledge gleaned from working with athletes like Lleyton Hewitt, Sam Stosur, Martina Navratilova, Jennifer Capriati, Svetlana Kuznetsova and Monica Seles and applies it to all players of all standards. It’s a complete tennis fitness workout, stretching from warm up and cool down routines to speed, agility, power, tennis footwork and much more. Nathan and Giselle have trained five world number one players and are based on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland.

Our Social Pages:

FACEBOOK

TWITTER

YOUTUBE

INSTAGRAM

[paydayloansacramento-blog]

Tiny Cash Payday Loans North Sacramento

Website: https://tinycashloans.com/california/payday-loans-sacramento/

Address: 4551 Mack Rd, Sacramento, CA 95823

Phone No: (888) 539-0502

Hours: Open 24 Hours 7 Day

From different surveys, it is seen that the number of customers taking payday loan as well as payday lending companies are increasing frequently. If you are a person taking the payday loan for the first time or want to gather information regarding payday loan, then this article will be of great help to you.

Definition of payday loan: Payday loan is a very short term loan. Usually the term is 1-2 weeks. There are other names of payday loan like - ""Cash Advance"", ""Paycheck loan"", ""Check loans"", and ""Payroll advance loans"". After you get your paycheck, the loan is to be repaid. If you can not repay the loan amount plus lender's charges for payday loan on your payday, you can rollover the loan amount by paying extra fees to the lender plus you have to pay the interest along with for the rollover period. So, payday loan can be termed a ""Loan Sharking"".

Necessity of payday loan: By the end of the month, you may face some problems in maintaining some urgent family expenses like paying off your Medical Bills, Phone Bills, and Electric Bills, House Rent or some other utility bills. These things usually happen when you fail to maintain a proper budget at the time of getting your paychecks or not keeping your expenses up to your income limit. Hence in order to meet such urgent expenses you need a payday loan.

Payday loan companies: There are so many companies who are promoting check cashing facilities online. Besides some banks and other financial institutions also provides you with a payday loan. You can apply online for a payday loan or you can visit physically to an institution to avail a payday loan. Conditions to be satisfied to get an instant payday loan: The criterions of different payday loan companies are- 1. You must have a job or there should be a regular source of income. 2. You should have a Checking A/c in a bank. 3. You should be an US citizen. 4. You should be at least 18 years of age. 5. Your monthly income should be at least $1000 Per Month.

Best application time of payday loan:- If you apply for the loan from Monday to Thursday, you will get the loan on the next working day, i.e. Tuesday to Friday. If you apply for the loan on Friday, then you will get the loan on the next Monday, and if you apply on Saturday or Sunday, you will get the loan on Tuesday. So the best time to apply for the loan is Monday to Thursday.

When will you get the money? As the process is very simple to get the loan amount, in general you will get your loan amount within 24 hours of application. Company will check your documents and verify your data with an automated system named as VPN Based software, and then approve your loan. The entire process of verification of your identity and depositing the money to your Checking A/c takes 24 hours of time. There are some companies who will deposit the loan amount in less than 24 hours.

Costs of payday loan:- Usually a payday loan company charges 15 to 30 USD per $100 borrowed. So, if you borrow $100, you will have to pay 115 to 130 USD on the very next payday. The APR of payday loan cash advance interest boosts up to 391%. Maximum limit of payday loan:- If you are taking a payday loan for the first time, you may get up to $500 for the first time. After you repay back your first loan amount in time, you can avail more than $500 when you revisit the company for another payday loan. Think before taking a payday loan:- 1. You should keep in mind the APR factor of the loan before taking it. You should find the company which is charging a lower APR than its competitors. 2. You should take care about the privacy of your document and information. So, if the tendency of the company is to process applicant's information in an encrypted page, you should think that your information will not be licked out, and then you can proceed on. 3. You should read the company policy and legal matters complied with before submitting an application form to them.

Repayment of payday loan:- The lender company will take the money off from your checking A/c on the date of your payday. You should be ready and aware about your payday and the amount to be repaid. If you fail to repay the loan on the scheduled date then you may have to ask the lender to rollover your loan amount.

[chiropractorscaloundra-blog]

ChiropractorsCaloundra

Wellsure Chiropractic http://wellsure.com.au/ 2 Park Place, Caloundra Qld 4551 (07) 5438 2008

At Wellsure Chiropractic Caloundra, our team works closely with each patient to inspire, encourage and motivate them towards a fulfilled life, free of pain and discomfort.

Open 6 days per week, our Caloundra Chiropractors work relentlessly to ease the pain, greatly improve mobility and inform our patients towards an optimal quality of life.

Our Social Pages:

https://www.facebook.com/wellsure4551 https://twitter.com/wellsure4551 https://www.linkedin.com/company/7711251

https://www.facebook.com/pg/wellsurechiropractic

[tuesdaytwoofus-blog]

Two Of Us – Lyric Video – LOUIS TOMLINSON

.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jukhJtIhsik

. 1. Black 1-3 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/8jxxcppxffnlvx8/AACNx1odaD0IjFzcuwD1xs0La?dl=0 . 2. Page 1 – Two of Us – Intro 4-8 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/fwowtu2k5wvag82/AABcEzS4pR2ntLD8rGtufOLXa?dl=0 . 3. Page 1 – Intro – Louis’ Hand 9-33-> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/cnzx5wdeq3j5bds/AABK7yq1WydQxS8gjLprmVxca?dl=0 . 4. Page 2 – It’s been a minute 34-129 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/pbb8vsi3kfarw94/AAAXbc6n0p-Py12BN4yUhpPva?dl=0 . 5. Page 2 – Just to hear 130-205 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/h4z2bywwx0vvgnq/AACt_lo3KiVwyeRngZ_0Y3GVa?dl=0 . 6. Page 2 – Yeah I know 206-320 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/vxwa9x8ff3y9x5d/AACtzWb7074xUk9krK_sR1Hza?dl=0 . 7. Page 2 – But I’ll leave 321-428 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/9cv3f1bsdkzdh6n/AADBbbs5JLUhRL9ye5kGlrdpa?dl=0 . 8. Page 3 – This morning I 429-520 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/vcclyadnq3dnspu/AADzO6zOoMHuo7jNYfXcmgF7a?dl=0 . 9. Page 3 – With memories playing 521-597 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/gtj230ue32yqwd2/AABf85ubrz1pFMGVDalByjISa?dl=0 . 10. Page 3 – You’ll never know 598-687 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/v8n8ze4rtxex5vn/AACneDXIKfeFn5Fw_kvVeHQYa?dl=0 . 11. Page 3 – The day that 688-785 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/06ff0isg3xfhypd/AAC0tJKOhQg8XdjZymrQBJOCa?dl=0 . 12. Page 4 – But you once 786-888 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/ypozxjm5ebkthfr/AADimFwi9rur1NT8y5sg7E3_a?dl=0 . 13. Page 4 – You can do it 889-993 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/ogss984i3il05wp/AABtPIuJssotjsTDwiKldW9Za?dl=0 . 14. Page 4 – And diamonds they 994-1099 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/xhw0fzak9h1k2br/AADoT9d71rQshoJDXuzH5W56a?dl=0 . 15. Page 5 – So I will keep 1100-1258 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/79gt9tbr5fdi2c6/AAACONOBXU4IRo1NYdy2QQ94a?dl=0 . 16. Page 5 – I’ll be living 1259-1344 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/qhrbzr4jthkclj9/AAAS-x81mpnkGP1076anQaLJa?dl=0 . 17. Page 5 – I will be 1342-1383 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/c6a3neukknf63xx/AAD7lnY8nhmMkWKD74uFagEda?dl=0 . 18. Page 5 – Always have you 1384-1439 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/3wwlfjtsnora8hh/AADGY8CXr_3AImLhqSjBnv5la?dl=0 . 19. Page 5 – I’ll be living 1440-1535 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/dw5xmzpdejs3wjl/AAB3aWkIVuSFqq74b5zNG7y7a?dl=0 . 20. Page 6 – Even when I’m 1536-1639 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/83xs0hrmu8olxjy/AAD4Be12oogOSuUke69LApJfa?dl=0 . 21. Page 6 – Tattooed on my 1640-1729 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/2hf3w258q309f3p/AAAaVLZ-b89TpYcbxBI-0vpea?dl=0 . 22. Page 6 – I know you’ll 1730-1774 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/34hcc95spixh0rr/AADFJV334zoLAMemcHdiUMdZa?dl=0 . 23. Page 6 – Swear I’m gonna 1775-1819 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/h4qx4zwmtxzrkdt/AAApOLHnGknDZJdcFg-Z_fV9a?dl=0 . 24. Page 6 – I’ll be living 1820-1929 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/16czq6jp6rm6ymd/AACbzqluI5D5bXUWTaLe7oota?dl=0 . 25. Page 7 – I can feel 1930-2024 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/efewab2eq7isd8q/AACWgQVUfvPirPWilN5T-9Uxa?dl=0 . 26. Page 7 – You’re written in 2025-2117 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/lno6hveq0wis8d3/AADzzTcwKiO1HSimQLOmJC3na?dl=0 . 27. Page 7 – Looking back in 2118-2214 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/28ymjbloezip13w/AABJmHDiu_r27tl-nzwUmVm5a?dl=0 . 28. Page 7 – I know you’ll 2215-2251 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/quvw0e8ura8jjs9/AAD0kmhmHPDtr1H_vKinMGaxa?dl=0 . 29. Page 7 – I’ll see you 2252-2299 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/m0mfkz8zvavs81k/AAD4vTvaPU9CBSKkZAcPIr5Da?dl=0 . 30. Page 8 – But you once 2300-2399 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/dptj2dwz0i91eda/AAAUM81YZkd2rVe9x2ZouPTya?dl=0 . 31. Page 8 – You can do it 2400-2499 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/k5kjy12q4enm9io/AAD9ssdoMc8F7YS9_YuvAWCNa?dl=0 . 32. Page 8 – And diamonds they 2500-2668 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/7k9rlxy7h8l8lbp/AABx9a8k-iKkIq4aOuJLy6C5a?dl=0 . 33. Page 9 – So I will keep 2669-2720 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/aispmjsgf7ayffb/AACFwyMnARsBxL6LtaZNwvURa?dl=0 . 34. Page 9 – Here until the 2721-2762 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/36ol123psf8pb6d/AAA3VnsSSM1VoIv08-gHPy7wa?dl=0 . 35. Page 9 – I’ll be living 2763-2864 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/z2fycngkr89bw2k/AAAjEKnsftf21lo5m_TZXl6va?dl=0 . 36. Page 9 – I will be the 2865-2910 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/txs94ua87gy8twu/AAAs8GnRjYXovNU-GjeIzW6Va?dl=0 . 37. Page 9 – Always keep you 2911 – 2956 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/bftyuvh89417gbn/AABn1xJeWSMs3w-ijKF_wvP4a?dl=0 . 38. Empty on Purpose -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/wtqzxpjzypmyzn2/AABAroYc3eq1sk2W9zC175iua?dl=0

. 39. Empty on Purpose -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/tu09m4rg3cq4nlb/AAAqBNw9CR7Nb0WobHcXvysYa?dl=0 . 40. Page 9 – I’ll be living 2957-3047 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/gnbf179xb13sm3g/AABrFXnyvVn_ClbdfsK7Ai9sa?dl=0 . 41. Page 10 – Even when I’m 3048-3097 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/2q5g8qgtynv1ohi/AAAoOXXVNl_EGfszV-elnW6Xa?dl=0 . 42. Page 10 – I know I 3098-3137 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/gco4xl4jaae388o/AAAvycuuu_z782CxkMDDs5GUa?dl=0 . 43. Page 10 – Tattooed on my 3138-3237 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/1yzkdr6k74ez8au/AACOKcvFB25YtLTVunzQTCBha?dl=0 . 44. Page 10 – I know you’ll 3238-3279 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/ojf5wu6hnblwacw/AACAJBO84DUtfcPxtCSnpbrra?dl=0 . 45. Page 10 – Swear I’m gonna 3280-3344 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/tlp6pptsqiao04r/AACHr-hAU6FJhf1Z-v8W12Lqa?dl=0 . 46. Page 10 – I’ll be living 3345-3429 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/njnu9ycvmuake7z/AADAEncUgO558O-QZVZWZ0fja?dl=0 . 47. Page 11 – I promised you 3430-3504 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/t9o6ks6xcfjz9ty/AABbY_FPIZ_x4Uz40Wls1UXCa?dl=0 . 48. Page 11 – So all of 3505-3627 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/5mk4zpexel70ofi/AAB1QvS35Z2w6yOn8WIYO2jAa?dl=0 . 49. Page 11 – Oh I swear 3628-3707 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/j4mss15y5e6u2ti/AACyz2E93mJ75KmSBtHGgx3ga?dl=0 . 50. Page 11 – Through everything I’ll 3708-3789 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/aegmapywtc1cme8/AADOrE_EA_AXGkQ6lhJlm2x2a?dl=0 . 51. Page 12 – So I will keep 3790-3854 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/dhv61m14uog2dc8/AAC4lV_5YDjES2N1tGppkHK-a?dl=0 . 52. Page 12 – Here until the 3855-3899 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/yj6ljvosihp8wpw/AAAC5sL7EYpGjg8H1NkB2wpga?dl=0 . 53. Page 12 – I’ll be living 3900-3979 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/1en1wptpqlzhoml/AADdH2CI3DxIy5ssLyLaEiuca?dl=0 . 54. Page 12 – I will be the 3980-4039 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/4ajyq6wtwusypaf/AACbiN4cdwSb0CJ7Px1ARWvya?dl=0 . 55. Page 12 – Always keep you 4040-4089 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/44vd0bvluci72o3/AADqVCSZfrgDTLRIQux9OeKra?dl=0 . 56. Page 12 – I’ll be living 4090-4177 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/wn6jv1bh5jbbh92/AAB1rZpr4hmgY704w2OMrl4la?dl=0 . 57. Page 13 – Even when I’m 4178-4226 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/aqcdi30eqpucl46/AAD3Nufp23cK_v2CjX8GpqFpa?dl=0 . 58. Page 13 – I know I won’t 4227-4269 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/l5zthcj17dhnuuo/AADKowMMKni3d-ANXoVV0NURa?dl=0 . 59. Page 13 – Tattooed on my 4270-4371 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/hytk76340y3ukm9/AACnLjeGVSbyabUxplUaclH0a?dl=0 . 60. Page 13 – I know you’ll 4372-4420 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/81f0xtrb0ryvfhp/AABKv9wER1cM2SQGDEe8oUQNa?dl=0 . 61. Page 13 – Swear I’m gonna 4421-4469 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/atd000s0pe3blky/AAB7hehys3J-ajvEOYUOiYv-a?dl=0 . 62. Page 13 – I’ll be living 4470-4551 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/cr516hf1jbih3xe/AAA_My7ZooY86Z92ehDejkQUa?dl=0 . 63. Page 14 – Ohhhhh 4552-4676 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/l1yz3ybw9sd6yza/AACoRVGfyQQFxWMorgut4JiMa?dl=0 . 64. Page 14 – One life for 4677-4745 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/joz4jc8ggd4c2p2/AADphe6BKWcNFaLd9K40CP80a?dl=0 . 65. Page 14 – Ohhhh 4746-4833 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/zk3onnrrc8b8ff4/AAAUHr5bp5rKLcI3cVUX5niMa?dl=0 . 66. Page 14 – I’ll be living 4834-4947 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/wx2m9omznn55o4u/AACTA6mzgj52tlFZTMKp_JLfa?dl=0 . 67. Page 15 – We’ll end just 4948-5037 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/bydr1qz692o42jd/AAASldClwfu2qtAHSlk25ONXa?dl=0 . 68. Page 15 – Just you and me 5038-5141 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/8wjsrl9tbz87eh2/AADTeGdBuf-drcBB3mT8sqCHa?dl=0 . 69. Page 15 – I will hold 5142 – 5229 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/go3hjx1nuegdhd7/AADsrri_xFpaMogqI-7kKcDla?dl=0 . 70. Page 15 – One life for 5230-5306 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/ljnz4dq1oaoyrv1/AAAnnut3lEMYlR5VGsWAsRF6a?dl=0 . 71. Page 15 – Louis 5307-5353 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/dm2hxmy4qae41ck/AABKm1J7JJqjWoHRbG-y2BDha?dl=0 . 72. Page 16 – Thank you 5354-5559 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/aeg0ngbnuqnihvg/AAAOwRwJfoYcxDZ3gKRkGR1ha?dl=0 . 73. Black 5560-5561 -> https://www.dropbox.com/sh/x02undzy3lfknlo/AAB6kffJ3wMuZBASk5mMQH5za?dl=0 .

[sunshinecoastwebdesign1]

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[dovabunny]

Fenders Fave FicRecs - Raunchy Shorts (Mature/Explicit)

Part 5/6, master list here

What's Lost and Found

TimeSorceror ( @timesorceror )

Summary: Anders swore he was infertile, or at least the Taint should've made him so. But now, with Fenris' child in his belly as he flees Kirkwall in the wake of the destruction of the Chantry, he is most definitely not. Unfortunately for him, Fenris was opposed to the child's existence, and so Anders must go back to the people he'd been running from in the first place if his child has any hope of surviving.

Words: 9601

Chapters: 2/2

Rated: Mature

In vino veritas, in aqua sanitas

calligraphypenn ( @calligraphypenn )

Summary: Anders takes a bath, which changes everything. As his affections are vied for amongst various members of the party, Fenris comes to realize that Anders only has eyes for him. As seen on Tumblr.

Words: 10452

Chapters: 5/5

Rating: Explicit

 While He Sleeps

Part of Dream On series (3 works, complete) by omega12596

Summary: Kmeme prompt - OP had seen many Anders self-love to Fenris while the elf is oblivious and wanted a bit of turnabout. So, Fenris takes matters in hand while next to a sleeping Anders. Oh, and awkwardness. And smut :D

Words: 1705

Chapters: 1/1

Rating: Mature

In the Morning After the Night

zillah1199

Summary: Anders visits Fenris while he sleeps.

Words: 2446

Chapters: 1/1

Rating: Mature

 The silence comes on little cat feet.

wargoddess

Summary: Fenris, and Anders, and a cat.

Words:1612

Chapters:1/1

Rating: Mature

 So Much To Give

zillah1199

Summary: for this prompt: Anders has never had consensual sex. The templars raped him many times, but he doesn't really see it like that, since he never said no. The fact that he was too terrified to say no doesn't matter to him. When Fenris (or other LI) expresses an interest, Anders agrees to sleep with them because he feels he has no choice. When the time comes, he is desperately, painfully submissive, and the LI realises something is wrong ...

Words: 4942

Chapters: 1/1

Rating: Mature

 Belly Studies

Lamenta ( @lamentaslair )

Summary: Written for kleineganz a while back because she was in need of something fluffy. I picked #33 – “Do you think I’m/you’re pregnant yet?” from the ABO prompt list.

Words: 1045

Chapters: 1/1

Rating: Mature

 Oh let me howl at the moon in your pants

thejourneymaninn ( @thejourneymaninn )

Summary: The revelation that Anders regularly goes without underwear leads to Fenris developing an ever-increasing obsession with his ass. When he finally decides to confront the mage about it and persuade him to put him out of his misery by at least wearing smalls, things quickly get…heated.

Prompt - no smalls Somehow (probably Isabela) Fenris finds out Anders doesn’t wear smalls. He becomes obsessed with Mage ass. Noticing it. Dreaming about it. Constantly imaging Anders naked ass, until he can’t stand it anymore and corners our favourite healer. Sexytimes follow.

Rating: Explicit

Words: 4551

Chapters: 1/1

 So There Was This Love Story...

disparity

Summary: Hawke never meant any harm—she was just trying to do something nice for her friends. But when one of her mad magical experiments goes wrong, it somehow ends with both Anders and Fenris utterly convinced that they've been married to each other for the last four years. They're definitely going to kill her when they find out. If they find out.

Fill for this kmeme prompt: Anders and Fenris end up losing their memories at the same time, and somehow assume they're married. Others don't dare to say otherwise in fear of making their mental states worse (or because it's just too funny).

Words: 9693

Chapters: 1/1

Rating: Mature

 Kill Me Or Kiss Me

Nikki66 ( @nikki-66 )

Summary: Is this flirting, or a death-threat?

With Fenris, it's hard to tell.

Words: 4908

Chapters: 1/1

Rating: Explicit

 Not You

Lamenta

Summary: Prompt Fill for missingnolovefic who had picked # 26 - ‘People are jerks, but not you’ from the 101 fluffy prompts list

Words: 1339

Chapters: 1/1

Rating: Mature

 Of Elves and Apostates

MacBeka

Summary: Anders and Fenris have a thing. When Anders finds himself pregnant, he is scared of how Fenris will react.

Words: 4187

Chapters: 1/1

Rating: Explicit

 Home

aka_pine_writer

Summary: An incident with dragonlings puts things into perspective for Anders and Fenris.

Words: 3190

Chapters: 1/1

Rating: Explicit

 Spilled ink, torn parchments and shed tears

cypheroftyr ( @cypheroftyr ), syrenpan

Summary: A series of notes passed between Anders and Fenris, with a couple appearances by Hawke and other Kirkwallers.

Words: 4760

Chapters: 1/1

Rating: Explicit

 let's do it in the dark

marmett ( @marmett )

Summary: Anders and Fenris first meet on a dark and stormy night while they're both on the run. In the dark of the barn they're hiding in, neither can even see what the other's face look like, but the encounter changes them both all the same.

Words:3156

Chapters: 1/1

Rating:  Explicit

 Things Never Go According to Plan

Bowm8935

Summary: Anders was cursed with the ability to shift between genders. He and Fenris both want Hawke, so he decides to use his feminine form to lure Fenris away from Hawke. Of course, it doesn't quite go as he planned.

Words: 6813

Chapters: 1/1

Rating: Mature

 Language Barrier

Akaiba ( @akaiba )

Summary: It had been a gift, after all, and a gift from Anders at that. The man’s kindness of late with the reading and writing lessons, even if he did not sit through them with Fenris, was touching. It had cast the mage in a slightly different light, one that Fenris was struggling to process.

Fenris turned open the cover, quill lifted and… he stilled.

There were words already printed onto the first page.

For the prompt: Maybe, since Fenris is learning to read, Hawke blithely goes out to gather 'donated' reading material from his friends, and ends up snatching Anders' journal in the process. Fenris reads it, surprised to find all these absolutely filthy fantasies that Anders has about Fenris having his way with him. When he goes to confront him, its all he can think about and ends up re enacting them for the mage

Words: 9104

Chapters: 1/1

Rating: Explicit

 The Christmas Elf

Dragon_Shaman

Summary: When Anders goes downstairs to set out milk and cookies for Santa, he finds more than the usual extra presents waiting under the tree.

Words: 6383

Chapters: 1/1

Rating: Explicit

Fenders Friday

TearsOfWinter ( @tearsofwinter )

Summary: Anders' died after the Kirkwall Chantry explosion. Through Hawke's insistence, Fenris joins the Inquisition, but everywhere he goes, he's haunted by Anders' image, always looking for him.

Words: 4240

Chapters: 1/1

[feastforaking]

Page 4551

[correcthomestuckquotes]

I keep seeing zuipperpips pop up and I'm not sure what it is. I've read homestuck more than a few times but I don't remember a zuipperpips conversation.

Page 4551. Was kind of just, a random Roxy line of like no importance