peter's like questioning his sexuality and sirius is like lets kiss and if you dont get hard from kissing me (the pinnacle of male beauty) youre straight (and maybe your dicks broken idk)
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I think we don't talk enough about Sirius and Peter's friendship. They have the potential to be so sweet I think. But also, if we're talking about canon, they're heartbreaking.
My personal (canon compliant) headcanon is that Sirius actually always cared for Peter, but Peter never saw it because he was too focused on appearances and his self-esteem was too low.
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When Marlene found out that the marauders called Sirius Pads, she definitely called him tampon to piss him off.
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James: One of you will betray me tonight.
Sirius: Is it me, James?
James: No.
Remus: Is it me, James?
James: No, it's not you either.
Peter: Is it me, James?
James:
James, mockingly: iS iT mE jAmEs?
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Sirius: So how did you guys get together?
Barty: He was watching me, like a stalker.
Evan: Everyday, for a straight month.
Barty: Gay month you mean?
Remus: …
Sirius: Anyways.. what I mean is, what happened that made you think, ‘oh I want him as my boyfriend’ ?
Barty: He was stalking me and I thought it was hot.
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Remus: You are supposed to bang your fist against mine.
Regulus: Why?
Remus: I am told it is a widely accepted gesture for mutual success.
Sirius:
Sirius: I love it when you two impersonate normal people.
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Sirius: "You're so clingy."
Remus:
Remus: "You came into my bed."
Sirius, wrapping his arms around Remus's body: "And you let me? You're smothering me, Moony."
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look at me in the eye and tell me that’s not remus and regulus having a cute platonic moonwater moment and then there’s sirius in the back cursing and hating them
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Creep hitting on Regulus @ the bar:
GUY: What’s your body count, beautiful?
REG: That depends.
GUY: On what?
REG: Wether you’re asking how many guys I’ve “taken home” or how many I’ve taken out ☠️
REG (whispers): Both are higher than you’d think.
JAMES: …I want him in a way that’s concerning to my life expectancy.
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*sirius and james having a discussion in the afterlife*
james: he named his kid albus severus, ALBUS FUCKING SEVERUS!!
sirius: you’re kidding.
james: i’m dead serious.
sirius: no…i’m dead sirius, you’re dead james.
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Sirius: What's it like being tall?
Sirius: Is it nice?
Sirius: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?
James: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.
Regulus: It was one time!
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*sirius and james arguing*
james: *takes off his glasses*
sirius: EVEN IF HE- what are you doing?
james: I don't want to see you right now.
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I think if they ever had the chance, they would protect each other at any cost </3
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Families aren't always just a man and a woman.
Sometimes, a family is a group of three illegal animagus and their werewolf.
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*power goes out*
Evan: Fucking shit, I can’t see anything
Barty: Don’t worry. I’ve got this covered.
Barty: *stomps feet*
Barty: *sketchers light up*
Barty: You’re welcome
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