#p;alex

[lxvvie]

Simps 'R Us, Between the Sheets edition: Your faves and the wholesome and funny things you two get up to in bed, part I.

Capt. John Price - When he's half asleep and about to snore loud enough to wake the dead (Price vehemently denies this), you like to have random conversations with him because you know questions you ask will do one of two things: elicit a nonsensical answer from the Cap'n or... wake him up from his sleep altogether.

Gaz - Is curling up into himself because you're the big spoon, you're running your hands over his body because he's highkey lowkey ticklish, and your face is buried in his neck because... he's highkey lowkey ticklish. "Darling, please—" Gaz manages to gasp out between... wait, are you giggling, Garrick?

Soap - Your darling golden retriever chaotic good boyfriend loves... to sleep naked. You're not complaining, though, especially because he loves it when you lay on him. You've made a home for yourself between his thighs; his stomach is your pillow, and he usually has a hand rubbing your head. Helps him to relax, y'know, bonnie? And whenever you don't lay on him, it's an affront to Johnny's... everything. His heart is broken. His soul is crushed. You're too far away from him (even though you're still right under him). How could you do this to him? He can't live like this. No other stud muffin can offer you what he can, beautiful. But no really, bonnie, he needs you on top of him like... yesterday.

Ghost - You really like his body. Like... really like his body. You blow raspberries on his stomach, you smack his ass, you talk about his eyelashes—scratch that, you love his body. To you, every scar tells a story, and you've asked him plenty of times to talk about them. And then you did the unthinkable that had Simon wanting to disappear into the fucking blankets—"Si-bear, I didn't know you had a mole on your inner thigh!" Bloody fucking hell, he'll never hear the end of this. And then you kissed it and Ghost's face had never felt so bloody hot before. Christ, you'll be the death of him, sweetheart.

Roach - Nothing but the most sickeningly saccharine stuff to ever stuff happens with Roach. A poke-fest, a kiss-fest, a tickle-fest, you name it, it happens. Roach loves to sleep with his face buried in your chest and arms wound tight around you. Always. You rubbing his head soothes him to sleep as well.

Alex - You're also the big spoon here, too. You're busy talking about conspiracy theories you believe the government is/was involved in and Alex is entertaining you ("That so, Boss?"). In actuality, his eyes are comically wide because the truth is oftentimes stranger than fiction and you may or may not be walking a little heavy there, Boss.

Alejandro - Is the big spoon to your little spoon in bed no matter what you're doing. Loves to intertwine your legs together, too. Alejo murmurs how much he loves you in your ear and kisses the top of your head before telling you good night.

Rudy - Sometimes when he's asleep, you'll whisper "Rodolfo" in his ear which causes Rudy to shoot up, eyes comically wide because the only time someone calls him by his full government name is when he gets into shit but it wasn't him this time, it was that idiot Alvarez— "Didn't get to tell you good night and I love you, Rudy, so... good night and I love you, Rudy." Oh. Oh. Ha. Real funny.

Farah - A cuddle bunny through and through. She loves laying up under you, her head resting on your shoulder or under your chin, or her face in the crook of your neck. She wants to hear you as you sleep. She wants to feel the gentle rise and fall of your chest or the resonances as you speak. Farah simply can't get enough of you.

Keegan - It's really you teasing him because Keegan isn't one to really get flustered or deviate from his infamously neutral expression. Much. Until you came along. You two are relaxing in bed and you're the one randomly calling out, "Hey, Kee-Kee," to which Keegan makes the most surprised and disgusted face in response and you're wheezing.

[drama-glob]

Alex Brightman demon bleps. ^_^<3<3<3

[will41n]

yoel the design is a placeholder i wanted to draw joel but couldnt draw him naked ... or couldnt i??

[versatancore]

*charles just passing by*

pierre : i'm not gay but damn.

lewis : it's not gay to compliment another man bro it's okay.

max : to be honest, i'd fuck him.

george : see now? that's gay.

[gothghostiie]

thinking about any of the cod men making use of your sickly, feverish state while you have a cold. pinning you to the bed under his big frame, legs carefully laid over his shoulders while bullying his cock into your hole :( fat, swollen tip rubbing against your heat while you whimper and writhe slightly, cold sweat beading on your forehead. "shh.. just take this for me, yea?" he coos, feeling your hot forehead with the back of his hand. he chuckles, making a stupid joke, something about you being in heat, before starting to fuck into you. your whines are more pathetic than usual, everything feels so much more intense, his cock feels like its splitting you open:( yet all you can do is lay there and take it, orgasms being ripped from your weak body until you're barely able to stay awake :(

[llisi]

Stardew Valley Bachelors NSFW twt links

NSFW TWITTER/X LINKS UNDER!! MINORS GO AWAY

Sam

- After you two started dating Sam has been sneaking you into his room more often and quietly doing some inappropriate touching

- Sam loves your boobs. He has to be touching, squeezing or sucking them to be happy!

- When Sam’s playing a video game with Sebastian you suck his cock to see how quiet he can be while hes on call

Harvey

- It was a slow day in the office so you decided to “help” out Dr. Harvey in the backroom

- Due to the lack of condoms in pelican town, you suggest a position where it wouldn’t go in

- For your honeymoon you two decided to stay on the farm

Shane

- When Jas and Marnie aren’t home Shane uses you as he pleases

- After a few drinks from the saloon he goes home and he sees you laying down, he just cant help himself from fingering you

- Shane bullying his fat cock inside you

Sebastian

- When Sebastian finds out that you’re texting a old friend from the city he gets a little jealous and thinks of ways to get you to put your phone down

- Fucks you while you’re cosplaying as his favorite character

- Sebastian takes videos of you two fucking and rewatches them whenever he wants to jerk off

Alex

- You finally convinced Alex to let you tie him up. Of course you’re going to overstimulate him!

- You’re helping Alex study in the library but he suggests that you two should meet up in the bathroom instead

- Alex knows you’re super busy but he misses you so he fucks his toy imagining it was you

Elliot

- Elliot loves watching you prep yourself for him before he puts it in

- A regular sunday morning for you two

- Elliot loves to play with your pussy as he watches you squirm around

[extrahorribledynne]

honestly who could even want a season 3 this is literally 'the everything else' of gravity falls. i'm not left wanting. i'm feasting on everything from the book of bill and thisisnotawebsite. the only thing i want is to rewatch the entire show again

like it leaves it in 'our' (the readers) hands. what do YOU see in ciphers corpse? is it the end? is it only the beginning? we were invited to participate both in the book (literally, with it making asks to write this, put your hand here, etc) and the website code hunt. its up to you. here are the pieces of everything after the end. have fun.

[lianasauruss]

It's been 11 years since Call of Duty: Ghosts was released. 💀

[etclouie]

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 them + their opinions on hickeys

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 warnings: innuendo towards sex, mentions of giving and receiving hickeys

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 includes; john price, simon riley, kyle garrick, soap mactavish, alex keller, alejandro vargas, rodolfo parra, phillip graves, keegan russ and makarov (x fem!reader)

prev | next - drabbles masterlist | main masterlist

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ price - i feel as if price loves them, if they’re above the collar and the 141 sees them he’ll kinda just shrug them off. sure, he wants discretion, but if see his girlfriend get happy from marking him up then he’s all for it. 

seeing his girlfriend all pretty and covered in hickeys makes his day, he loves it. if he’s home from deployment when the weathers warm and he sees you in one of those pretty sundresses, he’ll be adding to the already fading hickeys across your body. 

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ simon - he’s 50/50 with hickeys. i feel as if it fully depends on his mood for hickeys on him, he’s either fully for them or fully against them. either way, as long as they’re hidden it’ll make his feelings for them a little better. 

if we’re talking about hickeys on your body though, i feel as if it’ll be different. a shriek of possessiveness running through him at the sight of your body covered in hickeys, specifically coming back from a mission to cover you in more of them. 

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ soap - he loves them, both ways. he prefers giving them but isn’t opposed to receiving hickeys. anywhere he can get his mouth on you, will either end up with bite marks or hickeys. no doubt in my mind. 

but with hickeys on himself, he’ll show them off. likes bragging about his girl back home, who’s just like him. both of you as eager for the other, and it never shuts him up. so with hickeys covering his neck, it worsens his reason to talk. 

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ gaz - i see him liking hickeys, both giving and receiving. prefers giving them, but he’s not opposed to receiving them. honestly, mutual pinning between you both gets him going, the eagerness of both of you, and the willingness to give hickeys is what he enjoys most about them. 

explicitly talking about hickeys on you though, he loves the sight. if he’s had a rougher day, and comes home to your flat to see you on the couch, cuddled up and wearing one of his shirts and the hickeys are visible - he’s practically begging to give you more. 

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ alex - i feel like alex is also 50/50 on hickeys, but in a different way. that love he shares with his girlfriend is the key to his Intimacy, so adding hickeys into he equation makes it all the more intimate to him. 

seeing both of you covered in hickeys makes his heart flutter. that joint passion and the evidence of it painted across your skins, it’s something he’ll never give up. 

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ alejandro - prefers giving them. don’t think he’d ever give the chance to let you give him hickeys, i think he’d allow scratches down his back more than hickeys. not that he’s against them, just honestly prefers to give them than receive them. 

he gets lost in it when giving you hickeys, neck all red from his mouth. becomes hard to dicier the new hickeys from old ones because he’s so eager to give them out. anything to show you as his, he’s not opposed. 

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ rudy - for rudy, i believe his opinion is different. i think he’d be cautious of hurting you the first couple times, after that i feel as if he’d open up to them a little bit more but still be in his head a little. 

as for you giving him hickeys, he’d reassure you that you don’t need to if you don’t want to, but would be excited if you insisted. the thought of you being excited to give him hickeys gets his blood pumping and his heart beating a little faster. 

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ graves - i think he’d honestly prefer receiving them than giving them. he gives off sub vibes so being marked up by his girlfriend gets him going, has him finishing prematurely almost. hickeys on his thighs are his weakness, i just know it. 

on the off chance he gives you hickeys, it’ll be brief. mainly happens if you ride him, his hands on your hips ‘helping’ your movements while he kisses across your neck and down to your boobs, sucking hickeys across them and moaning at the sight of them covered in his marks. 

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ keegan - he’s a giver. if he hasn’t littered your skin with hickeys, has he really done his part? that’s how he sees it at least. hickeys convey that definite that he took care of you, especially hickeys across your thighs. it fuels his ego really. 

on the other hand, he’s not that picky about hickeys on himself. he’ll take them if you’re willing to give them, but he won’t be miffed if he doesn’t have them. whatever makes his girl happy is enough for him. 

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ makarov - loves giving them. fuels this thing inside him that ‘brands’ you as his, it gets him off even more than it probably should. he adores seeing you marked up by him, and he’ll cover you in more if the original ones begin to fade. 

he’s less of a fan of hickeys on himself, he’ll indulge if you’re persistent on giving him some, but he’ll keep it to only a few. if you give one above the collar where he can hide it though, he’ll fuss and complain but deep down loves it. 

reblogs are highly appreciated !

[lxvvie]

It's the little things, Part I:

It's the way Price blushes as you cover his face in kisses. He's seen and done it all, stared down the barrel of a gun more times than he can count, but nothing will ever quite throw the Cap'n off his game more than the way you show and tell him that you love him and that he's damn good at what he does.

It's the way Gaz exhales and feels all the stress leave his body. His head rests comfortably on your lap and your fingers ghost over the wrinkles on his forehead. He was only away for only a week and a half but it felt like an eternity. Gaz leaves the work behind in your embrace, closes his eyes, and it's the best damn nap he's had in a while.

It's the way Soap whines and leans into your touch as your nails work shampoo and miracles on his scalp. Oh. That's new. You do it again. Same response. You tease him about it later much to his chagrin but it's just one of many things that endear him to you. And amuses Simon if your text messages are any indication.

It's the way Ghost is trying not to laugh when you blow raspberries on his stomach. Apparently, you made it your life's mission to get a reaction out of him every time you did it, and when you finally succeeded—he said it was a cough but that's bullshit—your eyes lit up and it was the cutest fucking thing to him. Victory looks good on you, sweetheart.

It's the way Alex relaxes and his eyes flutter close when you kiss the side of his mouth. It's the way he softly murmurs, "Boss...", you murmur, "Babe..." in response, he groans in faux exasperation, and you thank whoever heard your prayers that he's safe in your arms again.

It's the way Alejandro lets his guard down and silently brings you into a hug. His face is buried in the crook of your neck and your arms squeeze him back as tightly as you can. It's one of those moments where you can feel the weight he carries in the tension in his body but it's also a reminder that just as he watches over his men, you'll always watch over him.

It's the way Rudy leaves you speechless as he tilts his head ever so slightly as he listens to you talk, and when you realize what's happening, he laughs heartily and it's your turn to be flustered. What would you do without him?

It's the way Farah leans her head on your shoulder, respite from the burden of leadership. It's the way you lean your head against hers and she feels safe all over again.

It's the way Keegan looks at you, intentional in everything he wants to convey without uttering a word. Still waters run deep, and you'd be a fool to ever doubt the things he feels for you.

It's the way Roach smiles, wide, goofy, and boyish, things he can be when he's with you. It's the crinkle around his eyes reassuring you, and it's as if your worries and fears have dissipated into nothingness.

[bloodstainedmuzzle]

Silent Hill: Homecoming (2008)

[russellius]

@.georgerussell63: Just like old times ✌️

[notaplaceofhonour]

Understanding Alex Jones’s place in the Bush-era anti-war scene would do the left a lot of good in understanding (and not repeating) similar mistakes that the current anti-war scene is making today.

For those who aren’t old enough to remember, there was actually a time when Alex Jones had a decent amount of goodwill on the far left. He was obviously always a lunatic conspiracy theorist, and most everyday people saw him as such, but there was a significant enough portion of the anti-war left that liked him, that actually promoted InfoWars, appeared on AJ’s show, and linked arms with him at anti-war protests.

Without the momentum that his Bush-era popularity gave him, Jones would not have become a recognizable or relevant media figure like he did. The model InfoWars pioneered, which helped pave the way for the entire far right griftosphere that sprang up around it—from Breitbart to OAN & the Epoch Times to the sea of smaller Q-fluencers—owes its success in part to this diagonal reach across political lines. The extreme right wing conspiracy theory platform that has all but consumed the GOP would not have been able to gain nearly as much of a foothold if it were not for the years of work InfoWars & outlets like it did to normalize it in the Bush years.

Obviously I am not going so far as to say “The Left Is Solely Responsible For Alex Jones™️”. But much of the anti-war/anti-government left absolutely participated in helping him rise to prominence. They were willing to jump in bed with Jones without paying attention to his work or else were willing to turn a blind eye to who Jones was, all because he was saying things that were convenient to their cause. It didn’t matter that he was a rightwing or grade-A bigot; he opposed the US government & the war.

And I’m fully aware that there’s a common refrain among a lot of that “I used to listen to InfoWars” section of the left that would push back against this and say, “well, yeah, Jones is obviously a fascist now, but back then he wasn’t like that; he was kooky back then, sure, but the pre-Sandy Hook, pre-Gay Frogs Jones wasn’t nearly as bigoted or rightwing as the ‘Hillary For Prison’ Trump-era Jones became”.

To that I say, no, that’s bullshit. If you actually go back and listen to his show from back then… holy shit. He was homophobic as fuck. He was racist as fuck. The entire NWO/Globalist framework that he hangs all his other conspiracy theories on is built around antisemitic tropes from the Protocols of the Elders of Zion he regularly hosted & promoted explicit antisemites like his pastor Texe Marrs, who openly espoused that Jews (often named as such) controlled the world politically, financially, and religiously through Zionism, a global banking cartel, and Communism. In some ways, Jones was even more transparent then than he is now.

“Okay, but what does this have to do with the current anti-war movement?” I hear you say. “I never fell for Alex Jones; I’ve always hated that guy.”

To begin with, you should be on the lookout for the internal biases and lack of vetting that lead the left to tolerate Jones in the first place, whether you think you’re liable to or not (arguably, it is all that much more important when you think you aren’t, because you are never more susceptible than when you think you aren’t). But unfortunately much of the anti-war left of today has been making the same mistake, just with different people and organizations.

Take for instance Jackson Hinkle, a tradcath & self-described “MAGA Communist”, who has gotten a lot of traction with the leftwing anti-Zionist crowd (and I would be remiss not to mention, has also been a guest on InfoWars). Or take another AJ, the media outlet Al Jazeera, which says a lot of things that are attractive to the left out one side of its mouth while spewing a bunch of rightwing theocratic garbage out the other, much like Bush-era InfoWars did. Take PSL/ANSWER (Pro-Putin Pro-Assad Pro-Xi atrocity denialists & conspiracy theorists) are one of the most common fixtures of the current protest movement, regularly advertised as organizers by other prominent organizations like JVP & SJP. A lot of people on the left have been embracing figures and organizations that espouse Khazar Theory, Deicide, Media Control, and Blood Libels not at all dissimilar to the accusations you could hear from Jones and his pastor friend Texe Marrs, with the same figleaf of “anti-Zionism” that Marrs frequently used himself.

Whether by sheer ignorance or willfully turning a blind eye, the left keeps making the same mistake of tolerating & even embracing figures & organizations with similarly noxious politics & conspiracy thinking now that was made with Bush-era InfoWars. We need to do better. We need to learn from the past so we can stop repeating its mistakes.

[gunnrblze]

Silly/stupid/sweet domestic living headcannons for the Ghost Boys

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Hesh

-watches you sleep in the mornings before you wake up. not creepily so, he just likes seeing you so relaxed and peaceful

-takes a ridiculous amount of time in the bathroom for various reasons. not even in a weird/sexual manner, just fuckin lingers in there like a teenage girl primping her hair

-enjoys sweeping for no reason. will sweep again even if one of you already has, very clean man

Logan

-sits on counter tops regularly, doesn’t care that he’s 6’0 & built like a brick wall. if he fits, he sits

-has the time management skills of a goldfish. “I’m coming to bed in 15 minutes” half an hour later and he’s building a Lego set?

-enjoys watching your skincare routines and will silently beg for you to slather the shit on his face too. eventually he’ll ask directly but until then he just gives totally subtle puppy dog eyes

Elias

-has a recliner he’s bonded with in the living room like the old coot he is. and you’ll never talk him out of getting rid of it

-has bought you a pair of house slippers to match his. yours are probably cuter but he does secretly want to at least coordinate

-will loiter when you’re doing any kind of hobby/activity. doesn’t necessarily want to join, but will stand behind you and watch you play video games/craft/bake/etc

Merrick

-terrible farts. that’s it. wear a gas mask tbh

-snores so loud that you have to wear earplugs sometimes. doesn’t help that he likes to cuddle at night so you can quite literally feel him vibrating against you. best cuddler though

-has a decanter full of whiskey on his bedside table. not even a big drinker or anything, no, that’s just decoration to him cause he’s distinguished

Keegan

-asks you to help shave his beard, both because he gets lazy but also he wants to be pampered. “You do it better” he’ll insist

-secretly enjoys you having to ask for help with little things around the house. he loves ‘being a man’ for you. does not matter your gender

-sleeps on one old, flat, mangy pillow. it may or may not even have a case on it. you can try to get him to return to civilization and use a normal one but it’ll be difficult

Kick

-sings loudly in the shower on purpose. maybe it’s to make you laugh, maybe it’s to get you in the bathroom long enough to convince you to join him. depends on the day

-uses so many seasonings when he cooks that he sneezes a bunch. wears his mask sometimes to just prevent it all together

-whines for neck/back rubs cause he’s so sore. insists he’ll return the favor but not before he falls asleep on you

Rorke

-loves you sitting on his lap anytime of day. watching tv, eating breakfast, etc etc? he’ll perch you up on his thighs regardless, doesn’t matter to him

-grunts every time he stands up like the old man he is. “knees ain’t what they used to be”, “gahdamn, backs killin me” are frequent phrases

-constantly turning the thermostat down to make it colder, can’t stand the heat from outside getting in. insists it’s not that cold and only relents when you start to shiver

Ajax

-puts animal planet/nature docs on to fall asleep. says he just wants to watch something more relaxed before bed but he never turns it off

-very anal about shoes being taken off at the front door. will bitch and moan if shoes get past the foyer while on someone’s feet

-like your mother on a Saturday morning, is up at the ass crack of dawn listening to Celine Dion while cleaning

[mrs-jury]

[mrshesh]

hi! do you have any general hcs for the cod:ghosts boys?

general headcanons - call of duty: ghost's

overview: general headcanons of the call of duty: ghost's boys!

pairing: none!

genre: fluff, pure tomfoolery

a/n: hi anon! i'm thrilled i finally got a request for these boys. i love them so much, it's getting a bit unhealthy. you're truly the best for requesting them! i hope you love it!

x logan walker

He sucks at puzzles. He’s smart and tactical, but puzzles are on another level of difficulty for him. 

He likes doodling a lot. If he has a pen and a surface to draw on, he will sketch a small smiley or a caterpillar. It has become such a habit that he doesn’t even think about it when he does it. It got so bad that once, Keegan called him out on it mid-doodle, leaving Logan embarrassed for a week. 

He loves the ocean, but beaches annoy him. He hates sand. (I firmly believe his hate for them is from Hesh throwing sand in his face as children.)

He has a picture of him and Hesh as kids in his wallet. He feels calmer when he looks at it, getting into the habit of peeking at it when stressed. 

He’s an avid Deftones enjoyer. He loves Beware and Diamond Eyes. 

He likes caramel-scented things, but he doesn’t like the taste of it. 

He has some insane dirt on Elias, and, of course, Hesh knows all of it. 

For some odd reason, he’s phenomenal at parallel parking. 

x david "hesh" walker

He loves movies. He can watch any genre! Horror? Great! Action? Love. Romance? Cute! Comedy? Perfect! He loves it all. Shows, however? Nope. 

He takes pride in his nails being clipped and filed at all times. He was a nailbiter in his teens, so he cares about his nails more than he should today. 

He can’t cook to save his life. 

Eminem is his go-to artist. He loves and respects many artists, but Eminem will always be at the top of his list. He loves Stan. 

He’s respectful in general.

He’s extremely secure and confident, yet he’s still pretty nervous when he talks to girls. 

He loves long car rides. Driving around in his car while listening to his favorite songs brings out a unique joy in him. 

He, unlike Logan, loves beaches! (He wasn’t the one who got sand thrown on him, so he’s thriving.) 

He hates coriander. 

x elias "scarecrow" walker

Unlike his son, Elias is great at puzzles! He’s disappointed Logan didn’t inherit that quality. He mourns it every day. 

He loves pickles. (Same.)

He manipulated himself into liking beer many years ago. 

People call him DILF all the time. It has happened too many times to count. He finds it funny, while Hesh and Logan are horrified every time. 

He doesn’t know how to put on chapstick. He puts it between his lips and swipes it back and forth, not on his lips. 

He got so much action when he was a teenager/young adult. He tells Logan and Hesh to “live a little” so they can experience that life, too. 

He doesn’t listen to music often, but when he does, he listens to either Korn or Chris Isaak. 

He adores Riley, sometimes stealing him from Hesh without warning. 

x keegan russ

He secretly enjoys ASMR. It helps him unwind and de-stress, but not sleep, surprisingly.

He’s excellent at the game Mafia. 

He has made way too many people giggle excitedly because of his voice. He finds it amusing but disturbing at the same time. He knows it’s attractive, but that many people? He has even made Elias giggle like a schoolgirl because of his vocal folds. 

Keegan strikes me as a Slipknot fan. He finds Killpop and Vermillion to be sexy. 

He loves grocery shopping. 

He talks to himself a lot. He’s antisocial and quiet around others, but when Keegan’s alone, he keeps having full-on conversations with himself. Merrick caught him doing it once - he never brought it up again. 

He enjoys lasagna a bit too much. 

He had a motorcycle phase as a young adult. It got so bad he learned how to do a wheelie on them, but his love for them has died down in the many years he’s been alive. 

He thinks wine is gross. 

x thomas merrick

He cannot stand bananas. Everything about them makes him gag. 

He gets such a rise out of being a bitch. He’s already annoying by default but strives to be even more insufferable for the fuck of it.

He, Alex, and Keegan smoke while being sentimental together at least once a month. (It’s always with Keegan and Alex - Elias, David, and Logan get left out.) 

He listens to underground metal like Sold Soul, and he thinks it makes him superior to everyone else. (And he gatekeeps it.)

He’s immune to pretty much all physical pain except for waxing. It’s enough to make him cry. 

He loved trains as a child.

His comfort song is Toxicity by System Of A Down. 

His appetite is insane. This man can eat a horse and still be hungry by the end of it. 

His calves are huge for some reason.