#p: something like that

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[catboybiologist]

"I would die for you, I would kill for you" okay but would you live for me. Would you go outside and watch the birds go by for me. Would you breathe in the air and savor it and think about how it tastes just that little bit sweeter for me. Would you stop self deprecating for me. Would you love yourself for me.

[queenqunari]

Anyway I’m a clown because this is how I chose to costume myself as a female Orc for a renfaire

In my defense, it was nearly 100 degrees out and being sexy is fun

[pink-linoleum]

redraw of an older post. sheikah kakashi

[soracities]

i dont know how else to put this but to approach books (or any media, really) solely for the sake of relatability is genuinely incredibly heartbreaking......to have such little (or such unwilling) imaginative scope that you cannot stretch yourself, even marginally, in a different direction to what you’ve known or are used to knowing when the very POINT of stories is to transport you somewhere else, into someone else, so you can do just that........when fran lebowiz said a book “is supposed to be a door!” and george saunders said good prose “is like empathy training wheels” they were right!!! they were so so so SO absolutely entirely right!!!!!

[chio-chan2artbox]

Realization hit him hard

[synthsays]

@abyssalzones I really liked the magazine clips you did so here's my rendition of The Parallels being fruity as ever lol

Page inspiration under cut

[tomatoart]

sterma never dies

[biblically-accurate-dca]

substitute

[introspectivememories]

been watching mashle and oh my god, the eugenics???? the way lance's parents were so ready to give up their daughter??? no second thought???? just "why did this child have to be born to us?"???? um everyone talking in mash's face about how non-magic people are inherently worthless???? the triple line dude fucking making dolls out of people and somehow no one??? is??? checking him???? and then when questioned immediately jumping into "well humans are little more than mindless beasts and i will become a creator deity and reshape the world in my liking!"????? the, um, corruption in the government??? the way this story is so clearly "h*rry p*tter if it was actually funny"??? the slytherin coded characters are blood purists???? they took out hufflepuff??? one of the magia lupus' mage's powerset was just big shuriken???? another one is rip off kisame???? lance is a siscon and the first thing mash says is "that doesn't make it better"???? lemon is genuinely so fuckin funny??? dot is incel-coded but like in a funny way??? dot says that lance is playing life on "easy mode" cause lance has a good face??? dot likes tea??? dot has good manners??? everybody only has one spell they can use??? finn ames is like if you transported is regular human into this stupid ass world??? i think the old man and the cop have explored each others bodies.

[stuckinapril]

Was sitting cross-legged on the ground applying my mascara last night when I finally. Mind body and soul. Let go of the whole “we COULD’VE been” mentality that has haunted me all my life. Like for the past month I’ve pretty much been stuck on this one boy bc “we could’ve been really cute” “we could’ve been something” actually no we couldn’t have been bc I don’t even know him that well and the version of him in my head doesn’t exist and it’s just time to let go of that (and of every other time I’ve extrapolated my own fantasies to someone, friend or crush or otherwise). If we actually could’ve been, then we would be. But we are not. Next .

[toxicsugarz]

I think my favorite thing about Chilchuck is that he would much rather have had his friends think he cheated on his wife than be emotionally vulnerable

[twisting-in-wonderland]

Ace has a front row seat to the soon-to-be greatest event in NRC history-

based on this pic--

the energy this exudes will always crack me up-

heres a wip btw >_>

fun fact! originally grim was gonna be O_O at Jamil too, but then i remembered that grim doesnt have an ounce of awareness in him rip

[karkatting]

did i seriouisly not post this one here what the hell

[eddieandbird]

Eddie loves you effortlessly

[hyakunana]

When you need to lie, but you're a good boy.