#p: Midnight Tea and Talks

[tonyspank]

CAUGHT

Warnings: G!P Reader, smut, almost getting caught

Summary: You really need to stop sneaking in through your girlfriends window.

A/N: end of the 1,000 follower special because i lost my complete draft of nasty & i hate shirt’s prologue so i have to rewrite it whenever i get the chance!

Sneaking into Tara's window was supposed to be a one time thing. She had texted you asking you to come over at midnight, and you had agreed. You had only meant to stay for a few minutes, but you ended up spending the whole night talking and laughing. You knew it was wrong, but it was worth it.

The second time you snuck through Tara's window was two days later. You had promised yourself it wouldn't happen again, but you couldn't help it. You found yourself returning to Tara's window again and again, until sneaking through her window became a regular occurrence. Soon, you discovered that the feeling of sneaking into Tara's room was not just thrilling, but comforting as well. You felt safe and secure in those late night visits, like you had a special secret between the two of you.

Sam was one protective sister and if she found out you had been sneaking through her window she would have been furious. Sam didn't even approve of you and Tara dating in the first place, so she would have been livid if she found out you were coming over late at night. She would have probably had some choice words to say, if not more. Sam was a force to be reckoned with and she wouldn't have let you get away with it. In fact, she would have likely put a stop to it immediately and made sure you never came back.

It's not like you snuck into Tara's room every single day, it was like a weekly thing to do. It felt nice to sleep next to each other even if it was for a couple of hours. You never stayed past midnight but it was enough to make you feel connected. It was a nice escape from reality.

This time, it was different. Tara didn't approach you on campus with a kiss like she usually does before asking you to sneak through her window. This time she texted you randomly at 10:18 PM. You had never seen her do that before, texting you so late. You were a bit worried, but you decided to text back and ask her what was going on.

tara <3 : can u come over

you : what's wrong?

tara <3 : please. just come over. my windows open

you : okay im omw, but is everything okay?

You pause your movements from grabbing your coat as your phone vibrates in your pocket. It's a voice message from Tara, you immediately click play, the audio playing in your right airpod. Your eyes nearly budge out of their sockets as you stare at your screen. Tara moans your name, and you can hear heavy breathing as she stutters out her message. You feel your cheeks flush with heat as you quickly shut off the message. You look around, glancing at a sleeping Chad and Ethan on the other side of your dorm room.

Forgetting about your jacket, you leave the dorm room in a hurry, almost tripping over Ethan's slides in the doorway. You take the stairs two at a time as you rush out the door, hoping to make a quick escape. As you step out into the fresh air, you walk as fast as you can to Tara's apartment, your heart pounding in your chest. You arrive at her window, opening it and calling out her name. She appears at the window, half naked, red cheeks, and a smile on her face.

"You're such a tea—" you're cut off by a pair of soft lips onto yours. You wrap your arms around her waist, feeling the warmth of her skin against yours. You pull back, looking into her eyes and she smiles, resting a hand on the side of your neck before pulling you into a more heated kiss.

You reluctantly break away, both of you breathing heavily. She looks into your eyes before gripping your white tee, trying to pull it off your body. You look around, knowing you should stop, but you can't help but smirk as you allow her to pull it off. She then moves to your Batman pajama pants, roughly pulling them down.

She moves back and looks at you with a sly smile, her eyes roaming your body. You laugh at her before taking her into her arms, your lips meeting in a passionate kiss as you both fall onto the bed. You savor the moment, feeling the warmth of her skin against yours, straddling the shorter girl.

She smiles against your lips before pushing you away gently, her hands running over your abs. You smile at the brunette under you, "What's got you so needy?" She blushes and looks away, biting her lip. "I guess I just want you," she whispers, her eyes finding yours again. You lean back down and kiss her deeply, letting her know without words how much you want her too.

She wraps her arms around your neck, pulling you closer. You can feel her heart beating faster in her chest, and you feel overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment. Your lips leave hers, moving to attack her neck. She moans softly, her grip on you tightening. You can feel her trembling, and you know she's as lost in the moment as you are.

She pulls you even closer, her head thrown back in pleasure as you continue to explore her neck with your lips. You can feel her body trembling with anticipation, and you know you can't wait any longer.

You move your lips down to her chest, your hand moves her bra away desperately, your lips finding her hardening nipples. She gasps with pleasure as you slowly move your tongue over her nipples, teasing them into arousal. You can feel her body arching in response, her hands finding their way tangled in your hair.

You move lower, trailing kisses down her body, feeling her shudder beneath your touch. You reach her stomach, exploring her with your tongue as you make your way lower. Your hands find her hips, and you move your mouth to the place between her legs.

You feel her body tense, her breath coming in short gasps as your tongue caresses her. She murmurs softly, her pleasure evident in her voice. You move your hands to her thighs, feeling her trembling with anticipation as you continue your exploration.

"No," she gasps out. You pull away, confused. She takes a deep breath, trying to steady her breathing. She looks up at you, her eyes full of desire.

"I want your cock," she finally whispers, her voice full of need.

You smile, feeling triumphant as you pull down your underwear. She wraps her hand around your length, her touch gentle but sure. You lean in and kiss her, your tongues entwining in passion. You take her then, pushing her to heights of pleasure like she's never known before.

"Fuck." She mutters as you bottom out inside of her. You stay there for a moment, allowing her to savor the feeling before you move in and out of her in a steady, rhythmical motion. "You're so wet, Tara." You groan, gripping the pillow she rests her head on.

She throws her head back and moans in pleasure, her grip on you tightening. You can feel her muscles contracting around you, pulling you deeper into her. "Shit, shit, faster, fuck..." She screams in pleasure, her body trembling with every thrust which is harder and faster as she requested.

Tara's legs wrap around your waist, and her breathing becomes more labored as you push her closer and closer to the edge. She didn't exactly tell you Sam was home, but the idea of her being caught made her pleasure intensify. One of her hands leave your back, moving to hold your forearm as her eyes roll back in pleasure. "Oh my god...fuck, Y/N."

You let out a satisfied moan as her body shudders beneath yours. She reaches her peak before you do, her body going limp beneath you as she's filled with warmth and contentment. You lean down to kiss her softly slowing down your movements to help her ride out her high.

Sam sits up in her bed, her eyebrows furrowed as she swore she just heard the sound of moaning coming from down the hallway. But hearing it's silent, she lies back down, trying to fall back asleep. She listens for a few moments more, before deciding it was just her imagination. With a sigh, she turns over, trying to get comfortable enough to fall back asleep.

Until, she hears it again.

Tara's face is now buried in her pillow, her arms being pulled back behind her as your hips thrust into her relentlessly. She gasps in pleasure as her body moves with yours, pushing back into you with each thrust. A loud slap is heard throughout the room, followed by Tara's moans of pleasure. Her back arches as you build up to your climax, your movements becoming more and more frenzied.

You lean into Tara, letting go of her arms as you wrap a hand around her throat, pulling her back against your chest. She calls out your name as her body trembles, "Y/N...I'm about to cum..." You tighten your grip, pushing her closer to you as your other hand caresses her body. She gasps and her body quivers as you move your hand lower, and her breathing begins to deepen. "Me too, baby."

Sam angrily stomps through her apartment, her body subconsciously walking to Quinn's room. She stops in front of the door, noticing the moans still sound far away. This causes even more confusion in her brows, and she realizes it's coming from Tara's room. Her legs move even faster.

Sam slams open the door to Tara's room, only to find Tara asleep in her bed. Sam stands there, dumbfounded. She can't believe it was all a dream. She quietly closes the door and slowly walks back to her own room, her mind filled with confusion.

You let out a breath, moving from under the bed. "That was so fucking scary." You stand up and Tara watches you with a small smirk on her lips. "I wouldn't let Sam hurt you, baby. You know that." You roll your eyes at your girlfriend, grabbing your shirt to finish getting dressed. You then laugh, pulling your shirt over your head. "Suree..."

Tara pulls you in for a hug, her arms wrapping around your waist. You can feel the warmth of her embrace, and it immediately relaxes you. You press a kiss to her forehead, mumbling against it. "I'll see you tomorrow, love."

She squeezes you tight, before finally letting go. You take a few steps back, smiling at her before turning around and waving goodbye. Tara smiles back, waving as you leave through her window.

[georgeclarkesgf]

forgetful | george clarke

the minute george stepped into the flat, he knew something was off.

"y/n? you here?" walking further into the flat, he found y/n in the kitchen making herself a cup of tea, "hey, sorry i'm back so late. we missed t-"

"don't. i can't believe you. all i asked was that you not plan to film today and i wake up to a message telling me you've gone to film a video for arthur. do you even know why i asked you to stay home today?"

he was trying to remember, really he was. but his mind was blank and the guilt began to seep in, only just noticing the tears that left stains on her cheeks.

"no. of course you don't. my parents are in town george. i planned a nice lunch, maybe go on a walk, come back to the flat for a few drinks, but all that went to shit because you left to film a stupid video and then ignored my messages all day. you know how important it is to me that you get along with my parents so having to cancel on them last minute because you weren't even here was not something i wanted to have to do." the tears in her eyes were threatening to fall again, hating how needy and pathetic she sounded.

"we can sti-" george tried, again quickly being shut down.

"no george, i'm mad at you. you don't get to say it'll be alright and that we can still do something. we're not playing happy families. you've hurt me. when we sort this out, then we organise something else."

now the guilt was in full swing and he immediately started to think of ways he could make it up to her, knowing it would take a lot of grovelling to get back onto her good side.

"i'm going to bed, i love you." a soft kiss being placed on his lips.

"i love you too." slight relief evident on his face, knowing she'll never not say 'i love you', even during an argument.

she rounded the kitchen island, starting to make her way to his room and get ready for bed. george watched as she closed the door, still stood in the kitchen, contemplating whether to follow her or give her some space.

he decided on the latter.

--------

it was nearing midnight when george decided he needed some sleep, and the dip in the bed as he got comfortable was enough to wake y/n, a groan leaving her lips.

"sorry. i didn't mean to wake you," she let out an agitated hum of acknowledgement and rolled over, curling into george's side, unable to resist the heat his body always provided, "still mad at me?"

"yep." she responded, accentuating the 'p'.

"okay. can we talk about it?"

"i've said my peace. you go."

"i really am sorry sweetheart, i feel awful," her nails were running along the lines and dips of his stomach, a habit he'd grown accustomed to over the several months they'd been together, "the video was planned ages ago and i didn't even realise the dates clashed. when you reminded me of 'that thing' that was happening today i thought you meant filming. i promise to make it up to you. and your parents. please say they don't hate me."

george hoped it was enough, not that he wouldn't do anything she asked to get her to forgive him, but he couldn't stand the thought of her staying mad at him.

in y/n's head, he was forgiven. during her time alone, she realised she didn't even give him a chance to explain before locking herself in his room for the rest of the night.

"i'm sorry too," george was slightly taken aback by this, unsure what she was apologising for, "i shouldn't have stormed off like that. not even letting you speak before i disappeared all night. and my parents don't hate you. we can do dinner tomorrow if that's okay with you?"

"that's more than okay. i have my whole day free to spend with you and them. we can do whatever you guys want. i love you."

"i love you. so much. even if you are forgetful."

and george stuck to his promise. safe to say y/n's parents like george more than her.

a/n have this as an 'i'm sorry i haven't posted in a while present' <3

[neocitycafe]

Nightwatch (Mark)

♡ genre: ginger tea - sageuk/historical; a little bit of everything--romantic fluff, soft smut, light angst

✎ words: 7.5k

✓ summary/notes: Mark Lee, loyal guard to the crown prince, unexpectedly meets court nurse!reader in a palace where everyone has dreams a little bigger than their roles seem to allow. Featuring small appearances by other NCT members: prince Jaemin, illustrator Renjun, royal physician Doyoung, and more. Inspired in part by Neo Zone’s “Kick It” concept.... (a few extended thoughts here) Enjoy!!

P.S. I realize that the name “Mark” is out of place for a historical Korean setting… Please imagine that there’s some sort of inside joke or creative story where Lee Minhyung’s nickname became Mark :P @nctsworld tagging you, cee! thank you for the endless fun chatter and fangirling every day, and for the real encouragement too, through the years.

˚·̩̩̥͙‧⁺˚*･༓☾　One: Medicine at Midnight　☽༓･*˚⁺‧·̩̩̥͙˚

When you sneak into the herbal pantry room at half past midnight, the last thing you expect is someone else already there, rummaging through the musty drawers. A lone candle casts strange shadows dancing between the herb sachets hanging from the ceiling.

Holding your breath, you map out the fastest path back to where you slept. You had waited until your fellow court nurses were sound asleep, tiptoed past Doyoung’s quarters and his light snoring, and followed slivers of moonlight on the familiar floorboards.

You turn to make your escape, but it’s too late. The person in the room spins around and blows out the candle lighting the room. He pins you against the wall and sends the surrounding room into dizzying darkness.

“What are you doing here?” His voice is low and commanding, and his body is held like a string strung taut, ready to meet its target. As your eyes adjust to the dimness, you find that he’s wearing all black. Gold threads swirl into the figure of a dragon, glimmering softly across his chest. He must be a royal guard. You’d never spoken to one before. “Who are you? And what are you doing here?” He repeats himself and tightens his hold around your wrist.

You whisper your name, keeping your head bowed. “I- I work here, sir. Nurse under royal physician Kim Doyoung.”

“Ah, I’m sorry. Lee Mark. Eastern Palace.” You look up to meet shining eyes and a face softer than the voice it held. For a moment, you’re mesmerized. In his eyes, stars twinkle with a youthful wonder that you didn’t expect to discover there. You realize your position and cast your gaze downwards again.

Mark takes in your lashes, the quiver in your lip, the loose white cotton wrapped around your shoulders. He draws a quick breath. You must be the one. The court nurse Prince Jaemin keeps talking about. The one who brews seemingly magical healing drafts and whose laugh is like a breeze on a hot summer’s day. Noticing your proximity and your lack of proper attire, he backs away and the warmth of his hands leaves you.

You’re grateful the palace guard doesn’t question further about why you are here for medicine in the middle of the night. But to direct attention elsewhere… “And may I ask what brings you at this hour, naeuri?”

He smiles sheepishly before pushing back his right sleeve, revealing several cuts and a scabbing elbow. “It hurts just a bit.” His voice is sweeter now, almost innocent. “Doyoung said I could let myself in and put something on to help with this. As long as I tell him what exactly I took. I didn’t know we’d finish training so late after hours.”

It looks like it hurts more than a bit. You wonder if they are battle scars, but you save the questions. You find a small bowl of water, the correct ingredients for a salve, and fresh linen to clean and dress the wounds. Mark expects to wince when you press down on his arm but instead, a feeling of cool spreads through his elbow.

Maybe it’s the quiet of the night and tight space that makes Mark feel like he can let down his guard and trust you with anything. “Actually, I got like this tripping on my own feet this morning. Nothing heroic. But don’t tell anyone. I’ll never hear the end of it if Donghyuck finds out.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t tell.” You laugh softly, and it does seem like a breeze on a warm day, Mark can’t help but think to himself. It reminds him of the lightness of his younger years, before palace life, duties, and always being on watch.

You almost share your secret too, with the way he smiles and asks about the cooling ointment, intrigued by how you made it. But after he leaves, you creep back to the medicine drawers. You take a fistful of what you were looking for and hide it in a pocket you’d sewn inside your skirts.

˚·̩̩̥͙‧⁺˚*･༓☾　Two: Night Watch Walks　☽༓･*˚⁺‧·̩̩̥͙˚

You try to drop a silver coin into Renjun’s palm, but he pushes your hand away.

“Please, no need! I promise I’ll get it to your mother.”

“It’s the home closest to the lake. My father’s usually fishing before dawn, but by midday he’ll stop by with lunch.” You keep rambling, and Renjun tsks impatiently but good-naturedly.

“I know how important this is to you.”

It’s not the first time Renjun is doing a delivery for you. He has also transcribed, illustrated, and read letters for you. He did this all under the guise of selling parchment pouches and bags needed for drying herbs, of course. He slips away with the setting sun.

Most of the nurses had wrapped up for the evening and withdrawn to their quarters early, glad for the extra rest. But your mind is a storm cloud. You’d seen firsthand how the queen barely recovered in time from her ailments last spring. You hope your father described your mother’s condition with accuracy and that the combination of herbs is correct. It was always dark when you picked them out of Doyoung’s drawers, relying on your muscle memory for where everything was stored. One ingredient is very rare and expensive, and you pray Renjun doesn’t get delayed, or worse, found out.

“Are you following me?” A voice shakes you, and you’re surprised to see Mark a few steps away across the courtyard. You had wandered with no destination and found yourself with the guard you met last week.

“No… Just taking a walk because I couldn’t sleep.” He nods in response. His eyes scan the surroundings and he keeps walking, but you feel him slow his gait for you.

“Well, I’m on night watch duty.”

“Then I’m on night watch duty too,” you reply.

“Oh, you are?”

“Yes, making sure you don’t trip over your own feet again.”

Mark stops and laughs. “It was a one time thing!”

“How’s the elbow?”

It has healed up nicely and the rest of your path around the Eastern Palace is spent getting to know Mark. You stay one step behind him, landing your foot where his shadow would’ve been in the day. There’s something comfortable about being together, and you almost forget about your worries. Mark’s voice is like gentle rain, a pitter-patter, interspersed with an occasional giggle, and you could listen to it forever.

Mark doesn’t trip once following the familiar route around the palace grounds. But he notices the beating of his heart, faster than usual for the pace he was walking.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You find yourself walking with Mark the next night, and the one after the next. It’s like your feet are naturally pointed towards him. You learn that Mark enjoys writing and poetry. He sometimes gets lost in his thoughts. His nose gets scrunched up in an endearing way when he’s too focused on something. He is skilled with his hands, especially with shooting arrows, but a bit clumsy with everything else. You are impressed that Mark is part of multiple units in the palace, and you admire how upright and hardworking he is. He makes you want to strive to be a better person yourself. You understand why he was selected as one of the crown prince’s closest guards.

“If you enjoy language and writing, maybe you can become an author and publish some poems?”

Mark shakes his head. “I have one job for life. Protect the prince, the palace, the city.”

“But what if you could?”

Mark wants to tell you he has started writing more in the past few weeks. Late at night, when he can’t stop thinking about you. Instead, what he says is, “But you know I can’t.”

“Alright then…” You would come back to this but you change the subject for now. “I was wondering, is Prince Na as handsome as the court ladies say he is?” Mark’s eyes become comically round at your question.

“I hope you were about to say he’s even more handsome than they say he is?”

It’s dark out, but the sweeping royal blue of the crown prince’s clothing is hard to miss. You freeze and hold a deep bow, but Jaemin waves it away, as if dismissing the formalities. His smile is swoonworthy, if you’ve ever seen one that fits that description. The corners of his eyes crinkle in mischief.

“I need a word with you,” the prince nods towards Mark, and you bow three more times, backing away.

Mark waits until you are out of earshot, the anxieties surfacing unbidden. Did Jaemin have his eyes set on you? Mark pictures you with lavish gifts that only a crown prince could afford. Or better yet, the prince could grant you status and freedom, he could support a large, happy, growing family—

“What is she like?” Jaemin’s question breaks his thoughts. And then all the things that Mark loves about you come rushing to his mind.

“Yes, well, she is very bright. And genuine. Kind of daring. Creative. So funny sometimes, even when she doesn’t mean to be. Carefree, beautiful… very beautiful.” Mark gushes almost reverently before realizing he may have misspoke. Prince Jaemin liked to keep it casual, but Mark wanted to show his due respect. “Um, she is a loyal servant to the kingdom,” he tacks on lamely at the end, trying to sound more professional.

“Be happy.” Jaemin’s words are loaded with meaning, and he grins at Mark’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “It’s a royal command.”

Mark isn’t sure, but he thinks his long-time friend sounds resigned beneath it all. Despite Jaemin’s smile, he could tell that it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

You see, Na Jaemin had many things: a seal that dictated the law of the land, fine teas from the east, sweet tangerines from Jeju island, the smoothest of silk robes, and more. But the privilege to love? Not something he could place a stamp on, taste, or touch.

He wants to ask you, the miracle court nurse, is there not a draught that makes the heart a little lighter? A concoction to soothe the soul? But for now, it satisfies him to make the romance of those around him blossom. He smiles at Mark’s giddy expression, the image of one of the sharpest palace guards now bashful, shy, and in love.

˚·̩̩̥͙‧⁺˚*･༓☾　Three: Holiday　☽༓･*˚⁺‧·̩̩̥͙˚

You’re shaking while staring at the letter in your hands. You can’t read your father’s script, but Renjun assures you the message says your mother is now feeling much better. They followed your exact directions and her fever broke the next day. Renjun smiles as you tuck the paper away. He had always loved painting. As a child, he found scraps of parchment and spent hours recreating the world with strokes of ink. But his family’s paper-making business needed his support, and he put his passion aside as a hobby. Being able to illustrate your instructions and messages feels like a dream come true he never knew he could achieve. He has a chance to paint the fine lines of sesame leaves, the mixed white and yellow blossoms of crown daisies, and the rough texture of milkwort root. You thank Renjun profusely, telling him he’s a lifesaver with his artwork, and you exchange the next secret package and note. A neighbor’s baby has been colicky and you recommend a tummy-friendly catmint and fennel tea.

You know it is wrong to take from the royal physician’s storage, but these things aren’t being used. You can’t help the elation bubbling up in your chest knowing that people were feeling better because of what you were trying.

“What’s got you in such a good mood?” You look up at the familiar voice. You want to gush all about it. It’s not that you don’t want to share with him. But Mark is so good, so honest. He waits until you finish your duties to invite you on night time walks now. With him, it’s always responsibilities first. You make sure the fire’s out, the lid covering the stone pot completely, before following him towards the Eastern Palace pond.

“Well, it’s my holiday tomorrow! I’m visiting my home, the fishing village by Resonance Lake!” While not the exact reason, this is true, and it is cause for your joy. It’s one of your few days off for the year, granted in exchange for your service to the kingdom.

“Ah, I see.” You notice that wistfulness tinges his voice. “Taeil said that there’s supposed to be a full moon tomorrow night. I was hoping to see it with you. But of course, you can see it from where you’ll be too!”

You feel your cheeks heat up at the comment. You want to tell him that seeing the full moon together sounds lovely, and you’ll be sure to return to the palace before the Western Gate closes for the night. But he’s being called away by another guard, ending your walk abruptly. He gives you a small nod and then you watch as Mark speeds away like an arrow, silent and unswerving.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Home is running into open arms, tearing up when your father tells you you’re his pride, and holding your mother’s weak hand. Her health has improved dramatically, but she still needs rest, so she sends you out to the market to enjoy the sunshine on her behalf. Your father kept one of his best catches from the morning instead of selling it, and you promise to fetch the freshest vegetables to complement it for dinner.

While the town market does not carry the fine ingredients for a king’s many side dishes, it does have the goods that local commoners scrounge up to barter and trade. Seasonal wild greens, mushrooms and roots of all kinds, fresh and dried. Just thinking of the colors and scents has your mind drawing connections. Bean sprouts for soup, maybe some bellflower root to boost immunity...

Someone steps in front of you, and you almost knock into their chest. Instead of his black guard’s outfit, it’s a jewel-toned hanbok he’s dressed in and a commoner’s hat shielding his shining eyes from the sun. With high cheekbones ready to rise with his laughter, he looks so dashing you think you may be daydreaming.

“Mark!” He breaks into the hugest grin. “How are you here... Are you following me?”

“Nope. Just taking a walk because I couldn’t sleep.” He gives you the most dramatic wink, and you laugh because it’s midday and you’ve never seen him like this. “Actually, I took a holiday today too.” Prince Jaemin was more than happy to authorize it, as long as Mark helped him sneak out for a day of fun too. (He took off with another guard, Lee Jeno.)

Mark lets you pull him along through the merchant stalls and he claps along to the beat of traveling pansori performers, happy to shed his usual role and responsibilities. He becomes just a young man with the lovely one he wants to pursue.

The youthful wonder in his eyes is back, and when he sees the way your eyes light up too, his heart wants nothing more than to be the reason. He plays point-and-learn encyclopedia with you and all that you see.

“What are those funny things?”

“Ginger, silly. But I like to get them from another lady. And these are eggs, you know. The thing you have for breakfast sometimes.”

“I know what eggs look like! I can cook them!”

“Debatable.”

He pouts and points at some whole grains. “What about those?”

“These are good for your digestion.” You place a hand on your stomach as if to demonstrate. He points to the next row, curious about the bottles of dark liquid kept in the shade. “Ah, eel extract. That’s good for…” You gesture a bit lower and he gawks.

“What?!”

“At least that's what I heard. Want to try?” He shakes his head quickly and you think you hear him mutter, “Don’t need that…”

The ginger seller is chatting with another customer about unrest in the east, and Mark tilts his head in interest. His visit to town in regular garb is not without a mission after all. He gives your shoulder a gentle squeeze. His eyes have dimmed to something more serious, but with the softness of an apology. “Hey, can I find you after dinner?”

You nod, understanding his signals. “Okay, the lake. By the last house, around the corner of the village.”

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Mark is true to his word. You’ve only made yourself comfortable in the grass looking out to the lake for a few minutes when he joins you, plopping himself down.

You can tell he doesn’t want to talk about his work, so you don’t pry. Instead, you let him ask all the questions. You share memories of swimming in the lake when you were young, the first time you gathered berries from the forest outside of the palace and almost got lost, how you wish to sneak out to see the cosmos flowers next autumn. You conclude that it seems like your penchant for trying new things always gets you into trouble. Mark reassures you that they do make for marvelous stories though.

“Remember when we talked about how I’d be a writer if I had the chance to do anything? How about you?”

“Me?” You pause, eyes following the ringed patterns left by dragonflies touching the still water. “I’d become the best physician. Even better than Kim Doyoung.” It’s exhilarating to say it out loud.

“You want to take his place as head royal physician?”

“Oh. No, not in the palace.”

“Then where?”

“I don’t know.” You’d never allowed yourself to dream what you wanted any further. You turn back to gaze in the direction of the town, thoughts drifting towards the bustle of the market earlier in the day.

“I think you’d be amazing.” Mark’s voice brings you back.

“I’m not amazing now?”

“That you are too.” He transforms your joke into sincerity, just like that. It’s his turn to pause this time, and you move to face him. His breath warms your cheek with how close you are, and his eyes are brimming with something that you can’t name. “I… I’ve come to care for you,” he confesses. He takes your hand in his.

It’s love. It’s adoration. It’s a little fear for what may come. It’s hope. It’s desire.

You lace your fingers together and Mark feels that his heart may burst. “I care for you too, Mark.”

The full moon rises, but both of you are too busy to notice tonight.

˚·̩̩̥͙‧⁺˚*･༓☾　Four: The Space Above the Library　☽༓･*˚⁺‧·̩̩̥͙˚

“Where are we going?” Mark’s tugging you off course from the path you usually walk.

“A secret!”

“What about your duties?”

“It’s Yeongho’s turn for the night watch. He’s the One Two Seven squad captain, and he says we need to rethink the security. Something about northeastern borders. This way.”

One moment you’re outside, at the back of the palace library, and the next Mark has leapt on top of the roof. He reaches down and lifts you with surprising ease. You hang on, letting out a squeak and hooking your arms around his neck as he holds you snug against his chest. He carries you further upwards and you close your eyes tight, trusting him. After a few more minutes of lurching and movement, you feel Mark settle down. Could you be on the rooftop? He places you in his lap, your back against his chest.

“Whoa, where’d you learn to scale buildings like that--?” The question dies on your lips as you open your eyes to look out to the view spanning before you. Mark tightens his arms around you.

From this vantage point above the library, your eyes follow the path of a crane as it takes flight from the palace pond. It glides upwards towards the western gate where the sun has already set with colors between lavender and forget-me-nots and into the forests. And further, the expanse of N City beyond the palace gates unfolds, lights glittering like fireflies. A river courses into a lake, the lake by your home that looks like a tear-shaped puddle from this distance. The stars are rising and Mark kisses your hair. The moment is perfect.

“Oh, I got something for you,” you tell him, trying to sound laid back. An excited anticipation bubbles up in your voice anyway. You turn in Mark’s hold so you’re facing him and straddling his lap, and you try not to notice how he has trouble shifting into a comfortable position. From Mark’s perspective, you’re very close and warm. He makes a poor attempt at composing himself and keeps one arm around your back, his free hand taking the little package you fish out of your pockets.

Renjun had said he could loan you one of his old ones from home, but you insisted he find you a new one and a nice one at that. It cost more of your allowance than it should, but Mark’s curious expression is worth more than every bright coin you owned.

He slowly unrolls the ink brush from its cloth wraps, jaw dropping in silence, admiring the smooth wooden handle and soft bristles. “For all the stories you will tell,” you breathe softly.

Mark’s mind is often filled with so many words, but right now he is rendered speechless. He carefully places the gift into a pocket of his own and draws you in to thank you with his lips.

The kiss starts sweet and strong like steaming honey citron tea, deepening when Mark tilts his head and brings his hands up to hold your face. When he tastes you with his tongue, it’s like the world around you fades to night and he is the only light you see. Mark shivers as you card your fingers through his hair. You lean in so you’re as close as possible, feeling aware of every part of you that’s touching, the heat blooming between you, his unmistakable excitement now pressing into you, and your hearts beating rapidly.

You tug on his collar, wanting to trail your kisses down the column of his neck and further, but Mark untangles himself from you and holds you at a distance. He swallows thickly. “I am a man of honor. Let me wed you first.”

“Mark, bed me…” You barely believe the words coming out of your own mouth, but you know you want him desperately. “Please.”

At your plea, his eyes grow wide, and then they narrow, swirling with desire. He makes a noise between a chuckle and a groan and moves to get to his feet. For a moment, a pang of rejection creeps into your chest, but Mark reaches for your hand to help you up too. He can’t believe how easy it is for him to give in to you, but he knows he wants you too, with his whole heart. “Come on then!” His smile is boyish and free, and you are quick to follow, treading carefully along the eaves and through a well-disguised door at the side of the roof. With you, Mark feels all the straight lines he has built up loosening into the loops and curls of ribbons. For you, he dares to step out for a new adventure.

Mark’s space above the library is plain. You spot a few scrolls and stacks of books, and you wonder whether his thoughts and writing fill the pages. You wonder what kinds of stories he has been reading lately. But those are questions for later. You fall first into the place where he sleeps and pull again at the fabric of his collar, until he’s almost lying on top of you. Mark is careful with his weight, holding himself up on his palms by your face, and he pauses to ask, “Do you trust me?”

“Completely.”

You try to pull Mark’s top off, but the sleeves get caught on his elbows, and you both giggle, momentarily breaking the heady rush you were in. Once he has peeled off the rest of his guard’s uniform, you stare unabashedly at how lean and toned he is beneath his clothing. With you, Mark realizes he doesn’t feel shy or embarrassed. He feels free to be goofy, to make mistakes, to be himself. He appreciates how you eagerly touch him. You trace a star-shaped scar on his chest and kiss the tiny moles on the side of his neck and near the corner of his lips.

There are too many knots and ribbons tied in a hanbok, Mark grumbles aloud. You shake with laughter because really, it’s more complicated to put on and pretty easy to remove. Slowly, he loosens the bow on your chest, admiring every part of you revealed, kissing your skin reverently, before pulling at the one around your waist and marveling more at the wonder of you.

It’s a bit drafty and cold when you’re unwrapped and bare under him, but Mark’s lips are soon emblazoned along your jaw, your neck, your shoulders. His fingers are hot as they dance across your skin, down your sides and dipping below, between your thighs and finding your desire for him evident. He reaches lower and trails a fingertip along your inner thigh. His touch is slow and light, drawing upwards toward your center. You realize he’s writing something on your skin when he whispers “love you” close to your ear, sealing the words into your heart. Mark’s finger trails upwards along your other thigh, tracing shapes and lines. And this time, he says “forever.”

Mark knows you’re eager and ready for more, so he lets you help guide his hand until he’s at the perfect spot. He begins to draw circles earnestly where you want him, watching you intently as you sigh in pleasure.

“Good?”

“Mm-hmm. Very.” You extend the “very” and your eyes flutter closed at the feeling. Mark’s so good as a person, as a friend, as a lover, that you’re almost overwhelmed by it all. He spells out his love for you, over and again.

When you reach for him after some time, longing to please him too, Mark simply moves his hands to hold yours in his own. He presses his body down closer to slide his length against you without entering you, and the both of you moan at the friction and new sensations. Heat courses through you, warm in your belly, right down to your toes, and back to your core again as he moves against you. Back and forth he rocks, your fingers clasping his more tightly, stars spinning above you, until you’re coming, coming undone beneath him, chanting his name. Mark slows down until you’ve caught your breath. He untangles his hands from yours to reach up and smooth the hair from your forehead.

“Will you have me?” You lift your hips in response to his question, digging your fingertips into his back, pulling him close.

“I’m yours.”

You let out a gasp as Mark presses the head of his cock into you. He’s careful and tender, kissing your breath away before moving to push in all the way. With effort, you open your eyes to look up into his. You hold each other and behold each other, connected from beginning to end. He drags along your warmth, languid and loving, and dives back in again.

Mark could write verses, he could write volumes, he could write songs about you.

˚·̩̩̥͙‧⁺˚*･༓☾　Five: Embroidery Needles　☽༓･*˚⁺‧·̩̩̥͙˚

Kim Doyoung immediately reports the missing contents of his storage shelves. Rose hips, cinnamon bark, and licorice root. Not to mention, the garlic, gingko, ginger, even ginseng! The contents that had vanished far outweighed what the palace guards who occasionally dropped in without notice could take. At first he thought it may be just that, but completing his personal annual inspection revealed otherwise. In retrospect, you should have known that Doyoung would be the type to measure and catalog all of his work. Perhaps you were getting too carried away in your fantasies, distracted by the romance of your dreams.

Doyoung doesn’t mean to be an exacting person; he is just an exact person. But he wasn’t always this way. The voices in his memories remind him why.

“Must’ve wasted them, feeding it to those beasts he keeps!”

“That little thief. Always thought he looked different from everyone else.”

“Glad he and his family were exiled.”

Hot tears well up just remembering it, and Doyoung bites the inside of his cheek to keep the anger down. His best friend in his younger years. Lee Taeyong. Taeyong who cared so much for life, for animals, large and small. Taeyong who once placed a tiny green frog in Doyoung’s palm. It scared Doyoung half to death, but Taeyong kept going on about how cute it was. When the queen’s herbal remedies had gone missing, there were no records kept at the time. The scheming political officials were quick to separate themselves from the situation, shifting blame on the innocent. Taeyong, their scapegoat, was branded as a thief and banished to hard labor. Doyoung vowed to catch the actual culprits next time. He would take careful notes and calculated steps if he needed to. He rose in the ranks as head physician over the years, hoping he could one day gain the power or connections to exonerate his friend.

Word travels to the crown prince about trouble with one of the court nurses stealing from the physician’s storeroom. Naturally, word gets to one the crown prince’s closest guards too.

Mark wants to understand, but he can’t afford to. His role is to guard the prince, and his team needs his complete focus and commitment, especially now. He had shown you his everything. His favorite spot to watch the sun set, his corner above the library, his innermost thoughts, his whole being. The hurt and betrayal felt bitter like poison. He thinks back to your chance encounter which he so treasured in his memories, now tainted with the thought that you might have been in the act of stealing that very night. His brows furrow and he doesn’t notice how tightly his jaw is clenched. He’s torn between following the rules which condemn you as a thief and siding with his personal knowledge of what you are like. He wants to talk with you, but he can’t seem to find you in all the usual spots. And now he hardly has the time to look for you with his new schedule. The palace guards have ramped up on meetings, and he’s exhausted from splitting time between all the units he’s in. Jungwoo’s sword nearly nicks his neck when Mark realizes how far his thoughts had wandered. The more he aches, the further he pushes into his training, exerting the pent up emotion in combat practice.

Prince Na, having lost his sister to spies from a neighboring kingdom in childhood, had no room for deceitfulness. It was merciful enough that Doyoung would be the one to deal with you directly.

“Sir, I… I’m sorry I tried making something new and overcooked it and threw it out. I’m willing to make up for it. I also got some of the ingredients mixed up. I’ll wash up all the bowls for the next month. I’ll gather the roots too! I promise, I--”

“I don’t need your excuses. I thought better of you.”

You hate to admit it, but his words stung. Doyoung had been like a mentor to you.

Doyoung knew you never mixed up the ingredients though. He knew you could probably identify them without even seeing them. And your new concoctions often became the best remedies, never failures. As much as he was angry, he was not one to be cruel. After probing further and finding no other double-dealing plots or secret orders you were following, he lets out a long sigh and tells you his next orders.

You should have been grateful that you weren’t sentenced to something more serious, but you would rather lose your bi-annual rice stipend than this. Or reorganize all the drawers to the picky head physician’s standards. Instead, you are relegated to beginning embroidery. Embroidery! Not allowed near the food or medicine, and in a completely opposite wing of the palace. Doyoung warns you that all the guards are informed and will be watching you.

Oh but there is one palace guard who must not want to see you. Since the news broke, you haven't seen him anywhere. No night time walks, definitely no night time views, only emptiness in your chest and no place to run.

Would Mark misunderstand that you were only skin deep with him? You know that isn’t it, but you also know you broke his trust. You are a thief, no matter the intentions, but you feel a tangled mix of shame, anger, frustration, and a sense of powerlessness that you cannot unravel. You think it might be better for him not to be associated with you after all. You wonder if he regrets meeting you.

You have to ignore the many new inquiries that Renjun tries to deliver to you, telling him it’s no longer safe to make the exchanges. Worry creases his brows when even his beautiful new drawing of the cosmos field you want to visit one day brings no change in emotion to your face.

You do your best to pore into your daily tasks, but it’s monotonous work, embroidery, with nothing more exciting than occasionally pricking yourself with a needle. You curse under your breath.

But what hurts most, perhaps, is the blank expression and emptiness in his eyes the one time you finally do catch sight of each other across a hallway. It’s brief, like two strangers passing. And as you haul bolts of silk upon your shoulder, you will yourself to think that it’s the burden of the weight and the sharp-pointed embroidery needles. Actually, you are quite certain what hurts most.

˚·̩̩̥͙‧⁺˚*･༓☾　Six: Fire　☽༓･*˚⁺‧·̩̩̥͙˚

It’s that nightmare again. You’re falling from the library’s rooftop and into a bottomless lake. Mark’s sparkling eyes turn wounded, guarded, cold. What happens next is plunging into utter darkness and a numbing freeze taking over your limp body. But this time, the dream takes a turn. The waters around you swirl, sweltering hot, and start closing in. Instead of a deafening silence, voices are screaming. You try to decipher what they are saying, kicking to tread water and struggling to stay afloat.

“To the West Gate! To the West Gate!”

You jolt awake. The commotion of your dreams collides with reality. You piece together the hazy outline of Doyoung’s figure past the doorway amidst smoke and chaos. He’s shouting instructions, pushing people in one direction. The palace is under attack.

Crawling on your knees and holding a sleeve over your nose and mouth, you make it to the courtyard. White-gray ash and embers flicker through the air and you fight to breathe. You can’t see anything for a moment, but the wind picks up, carrying the thick smoke away. You turn to take in your surroundings and you stop in your tracks at what you find. In the exact opposite direction to the throngs of courtesans fleeing, an orange glow is consuming the Eastern Palace and the library right next to it, dark plumes of smoke billowing out.

The words of love, of history, tales of wonder, poetry and promises. Burning.

There’s nothing you can do but to cry out, “Mark!” Your lungs burn, and you struggle to stand to your feet and shove against the bodies of those trying to escape. “Mark!”

The singing of arrows across the air brings your focus sharply back to your feet on the ground and you find that you are being pushed along with the crowds, dragged towards the West Gate. And then you are running, into the forest, aimless, with tears streaming down your cheeks.

˚·̩̩̥͙‧⁺˚*･༓☾ Seven: Healing, Again ☽༓･*˚⁺‧·̩̩̥͙˚

The bitter, earthy scent of herbal infusions fills the temporarily transformed gisaeng house where you are working. Several of the women are already well versed in medical care, and all are ready to help. The house sits in the center of N city, near the market, an area easy to access and luckily, untouched by fire and the following destruction.

Days feel like weeks and weeks feel like days with the new routine you suddenly find yourself in. Early morning rounds with cool compress cloths to treat the ones with burns, gathering the berries and calendula flowers before the sun got too hot, brewing teas in the afternoon, a hurried supper so you can continue your work before it got too dark.

The time is long, but the moon has grown from waning crescent to waxing gibbous again before you know it, with the many people that come and go after receiving the care they need. The citizens are healing, gaining strength to rebuild again.

It’s late one evening when you see from the corner of your eye, an unmistakable design on a visitor entering. Midnight black, silky fabric with the emblem of a dragon. The ladle in your hand clatters to the floor and you pull up your skirts to run to the entrance.

As you get closer, yes, it’s the gold embroidery, yes, it’s the palace uniform. But he’s taller in stature. He’s not the one you’re looking for. Your steps come to a slow stop. Jaehyun recognizes you immediately and is equally quick to spare you of the suspense.

“We haven’t seen him yet.”

When your knees give out, he holds onto you and lets your tears soak his clothing.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

It is a bizarre sight to see the crown prince enter town, not supported on a fancy palanquin but on the arms of Doyoung and Jeno, all in commoners’ clothing. You’re on the side of the street when you spot them, and you freeze in place before remembering to bow deeply. Jeno motions you to straighten. There’s no need to reveal identities, he whispers into your ear. Nodding with understanding, you help them to the house and find the nearest available space for Prince Na.

Word had spread that a powerful shaman was practicing in the center of town, but Doyoung had an idea of who that might be. He shares this with you with the slightest of gummy smiles. It took them a tumultuous journey to hide and travel safely, and it would take too much time to tell the tale. The prince’s health needs more immediate help first. You’re grateful the lost prince is alive, if not well, but the questions snowball in your mind, a thousand desperate thoughts begging to be answered. How did they escape? Did he survive too? But Doyoung explains the prince’s condition, symptoms, and what they’ve tried so far, and you need to pay utmost attention. Jaemin must have inhaled a large amount of smoke. His breathing is weak. He’s unable to speak. You fetch a jar of honey water to help with calming his cough and think of a few things that may reduce the swelling that must be inside his chest.

You learn from Jeno that the One Two Seven Squad is regathering. Though he doesn’t share many details, you read between the lines that what had happened was an unsuccessful coup. You hull soybeans while you talk, using low voices to avoid bothering the patients in your care, the water sloshing and providing cover for the classified information. Prince Na is asleep now, but Jeno’s gaze is fixed on him as he speaks.

Though the city is safe for now, he and the others are still on high alert. They would keep Prince Na hidden until they strategize their next move. You remember that Jeno used to train with Mark when they were younger, so you finally gather your courage to ask whether he heard any news, heart thumping hard.

“Ah, Mark… We parted ways just a few days ago.” Jeno’s voice always holds the most even, balanced tone. You can’t decipher what that meant.

“Parted ways?”

“Yes, he said he had somewhere he needed to visit.” You breathe out the breath that you had been holding, relief washing over you.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

If he could put it simply, you are a vision. Mark made his way back to the city in sorrow and disappointment, to where he knew his colleagues would bring the prince, not knowing it would lead to you. He had thought he lost you, just as you had thought you’d lost him.

Your back is to him, but he could identify your shadow anywhere. You have one palm against your forehead and the other on a child’s, checking her temperature. They call it your healing touch, your intuition, your experience, or your willingness to try, but for Mark, he knows it’s all your heart. He regrets ever doubting your intentions. He thought he was serving the kingdom, but all along, you… you were truly serving its people.

Mark waits until you’ve finished your work for the night, not unlike many nights before, in a different setting that feels so long ago with the events that had transpired. He knows you’ve found your place at last. One without rigid roles and gates to keep you back. He only hopes that he can be by your side again.

After whispering instructions to the nurse taking the next shift, you wrap your arms around yourself and rub them up and down for some warmth. You’re about to start on a brisk night time walk outdoors to clear your thoughts when he leaps from the rooftop and into your line of sight.

You think you may be delirious. But you amble towards the figure of Mark anyways until you’re standing right in front of him. You open your mouth to say the first thing on your mind, a heartbroken “I’m so sorry” on the tip of your tongue, but Mark doesn’t let you finish your sentence. He throws an arm around you. And when you circle your arms around him tightly and lean into him too, he kisses you full on the lips. You relish in the feeling: passionate, bold, connected once more. You open up and let him in. Then gently, he draws back to kiss your eyelashes, wet with tears, only stopping to murmur, “It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m here. I’m sorry I took so long to return to you.”

You move to press closer into his embrace but look down to find his left arm in the way, poorly wrapped and held against his chest. He is the definition of a hero and a protector, and you want nothing more than to be his healing balm from now on. “Oh, Mark… I’ll make it better. I promise I’ll make it better.”

“You will. I know you will.”

You have many questions and Mark answers as you walk together, the moon shining brightly above.

“Where’d you go these last few days?”

“To the lake. To your home. I didn’t know where to find you.” You look up at Mark in wonder, and he pulls you closer with the arm around your waist.

“The roads have been restored?”

“Partly.”

“How… how are they?”

“Your parents and the villagers are safe. They… we… I thought you were gone.” It’s your turn to give him a squeeze. “We can send them a letter first thing tomorrow morning to let them know you are well too.”

“How’d you get hurt?” You start to inspect him, touching his shoulder gingerly and feeling the muscle in his upper arm.

He turns sheepish and glances away. “I actually tripped and fell on my arm when saying bye to your parents. It was very embarrassing. Please don’t tell anyone!”

You stop in your tracks and shake your head in laughter, glad it wasn’t too serious after all. Then you are pulling on his shirt collar so he knows what you want. “At least it wasn’t your writing arm, I guess.”

He’s glad too. And he knows there will be many stories to write about, with you. Mark leans in to close the distance again. Because sometimes, often-times, kisses are even better than words, and kisses heal even better than medicine at midnight.

˚·̩̩̥͙‧⁺˚*･༓☾ the end ☽༓･*˚⁺‧·̩̩̥͙˚

Thank you for reading! Hope your heart is full of love and wonder, and that you may dream a little past what you believe is possible.

Writing references: Joseon female physicians uinyeo | historical drama/sageuk vocab | korean herbs 1 & 2

[gluion]

[TEASER] finger trapped (ripped to its seams) ➵ ji changmin

ji changmin x reader

with an unexpected reunion, you and changmin relive the memories of cheongju—and confront what could’ve been between you two.

inspired by ➵ "seasons" by wave to earth, the last five years

general genre/warnings ➵ friends to almost lovers, angst, fluff, the last five years story-telling method aka present will be told going backwards while past will be told moving forward (i hope that makes sense), missed chances, unexpected reunion, keeping secrets & lying, hurt/comfort, jealousy remains but love triumphs, tiger parents, journalist reader (u kno i had to do it), reader is a nerd and changmin is a student-athlete, kms jokes from jongseob (all /lh), finger traps aren’t efficient after all

word count ➵ est. 10-15k [now available! read here]

playlist ➵ end of beginning by djo // high school in jakarta by niki // i know it won't work by gracie abrams // no big deal (i love you) by dodie // keeping tabs by niki // no one knows by stephen sanchez & laufey // so what now by renee rapp // i wish i hated you by ariana grande // the 1 by taylor swift // seasons by wave to earth

a/n ➵ shhhhhhh.... i know that i'm still writing this but a lil motivation and accountability goes a long way SOOO !!! this is just a lil teaser for the upcoming jichang fic for the deoboyznet event <33 thank you again to my lovely @hcuyk for beta reading !!! (i've only written 1/4 please understand.) but i'm dedicating this to my lovely @sungbeam whose love for changmin is one i'll forever feel even to my ribs and @wavesmp3 who forever remains an inspiration in the way i write </3 plus, i've posted these snippets anyway so :P if ure interested in this fic, feel free to ask to be part of the taglist for this! and dont forget to always leave feedback <3

want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! masterlists

it’s a late night on a tuesday, about to be a midnight wednesday, and you’re in a convenience store as you scout for your dinner. all hauled up in the newsroom, the idea of ordering food during a time where restaurants would still be open slipped your mind. now, you’re left to scan through the same options you’ve eaten for the past years since you started living in seoul.

the convenience clerks are familiar with you, both kim jongseob and kim jiwoo. with your constant late-night meals at the store, you’d talk to whichever one had a shift. jongseob is saving up to upgrade his setup at home to record more music. with all the stories he shares about his time in underground rap battles along with the short verses he’s performed for you, you’re positive that he’ll get signed to a label soon. as for jiwoo, this is one of the many jobs she has in order to save enough money for fashion school. you’ve seen her sketches and outfits she’s put together and you’re hoping that she’ll get accepted.

a sigh leaves you. you didn’t have a problem with eating the food here but you were craving for something new in your life in seoul. the perpetual cycle of eating takeout food and unconsciously skipping meals for work needed to be disrupted just for a moment. but you weren’t seeking michelin-star food—all you wanted was home cooked, something from home.

the spice of tteokbokki, the burn of freshly fried hotteok, and the sweetness of homemade peach iced tea—mr. kim’s convenience store had it all.

your tastebuds long for cheongju.

“planning to beat your record of spending 23 minutes on deciding what to get?”

you roll your eyes before looking to your right, seeing jongseob stocking up the drinks in the fridge. “i hate you.”

“what? i’m just saying, you’re taking a lot longer to decide today.” he chuckles before placing the last bottle of sweetened probiotic milk in the fridge. “none of the options look good to you?”

“sort of,” you hum before you scan through the aisle of packaged meals. “i think i’m craving for something different.”

“i get it. the food here can get boring, which is why i’m planning to order pizza if you want to split the costs.”

your eyebrows shoot up at jongseob’s suggestion. “really? you’d share pizza with me?”

“yeah, as long as you pay for your share.” he shoots you a smile before grabbing on a trolley carrying empty boxes. “unless… you want to pay for the whole thing.”

you bite back a smile as you shake your head. you should’ve known the guy would ask you to buy him food, but you knew that he needed the money and you at least had a stable income to keep you comfortable. “fine,” jongseob’s smile grows as you fish out your wallet from your pocket and pull out a couple of bills. “just order enough for us two.” 

“of course,” he says as soon as you hand him some money. “i’ll make sure to order the most expensive thing on the menu.”

you scoff at his joke. “just make sure to treat me to something.”

the bell by the door chimes. “sorry, can’t hear you over that! need to attend to a customer!” jongseob quickly runs away from you while dragging the trolley. that little shit just knew how to press your buttons, but you love the kid, anyway.

still, you stand in the middle of the mart and your heart longs for home.

then, you shut your eyes, and you’re transported back in front of the familiar aisle filled with bags of potato chips and sweet corn. the noisy fan along with the soft sounds of mr. kim’s korean drama fills your ears. a mix of yellow and orange hues paint every corner of the mart, including you—and you’re not alone.

your best friend stands on your right, wearing the unbuttoned school uniform polo over a tank top along with jogging pants. he’s lost in thought as he scans through the options of snacks you two can have for today’s afternoon. he starts to giggle to himself, probably from a silly thought he’ll share with you in the next second or a memory involving you, and the dips in his cheeks appear—your heart thumps in your ears.

and just like how quickly you were transported back to cheongju, your surroundings transformed into the cool-lit convenience store found in seoul. all you have left is the image of him bathed in the sunlight.

but he fades away like the ink on old receipts, never gone, because the glowing image of him warps into a different version who stands next to you in the cold mart. he’s grown a few inches taller and his hair doesn’t get in the way of his line of sight. while he wears a green sweater, you notice that he’s gained some muscles. his eyes scan through the aisle behind you filled with different brands of instant ramen.

but he bites the inside of his cheek, and his dimples appear.

it’s a tornado that brews within you, enough to uproot trees and displace buildings, all because of an unexpected reunion with changmin. why did the universe decide to bring two ex-best friends on a random tuesday night? what brings him to the convenience store at the same time you’re there? and why did it have to happen a day before the interview?

you weren’t going to commit the same mistake; keep your eyes off of him and make your way out of the store. it didn’t matter if you had an empty, growling stomach, or gave free money to jongseob. you need to leave without the distant, familiar face noticing.

your feet act fast, and you're almost certain that might’ve caught his attention, but it didn’t matter as you see jongseob standing behind the cashier with his phone out. “i just ordered the pizza. it should arrive in about… 20 to 30 minutes.”

“yeah, about that…”

“don’t tell me you’re taking your money back.”

at the sight of jongseob’s pout, you roll your eyes. “no, keep it. i just—i need to go.”

“what? why?”

you peek behind you. it seems like he didn’t recognize you, after all. “i’ve got… work!”

“but don’t you only have your interview with the bo—”

“hey!” your fingers snap at him. “you cannot—i mean, you just… just take the goddamn money.”

“but we’re supposed to share the pizza. you haven’t eaten.”

an exasperated sigh leaves you. “jongseob, just treat me next time. i can eat at home.”

and you’re ready to leave the convenience store, bid farewell to jongseob and a delicious pizza made for two, and never greet or say goodbye to the living fragment of what you last know of cheongju—

“y/n?”

and the plan failed.

when you meet his gaze, you’re able to take in the different version of him. he’s grown so much—it’s such a pain that you weren’t there to witness it. his eyes are a pool of emotions; you can’t identify them.

all it takes is one breath from you. “changmin.”

a beat passes.

“i’m just gonna… go through the storage,” jongseob points his thumb at the back of the mart, “and maybe kill myself afterwards. i don’t know.” before you can protest, he’s already gone. (and he still has your money. that fucker.)

taglist ➵@winterchimez @miusgirl @jenoscafe @sweet-unicorn-world @mosviqu @vernyangel @stealanity @deobi0412 @blue-rainydays @maessseongs

[desswright29]

PROVE IT

Word Count: 5.6k

Contains: Angst, Smut 18+, Anger, Fluff, Mean Shuri

A/N: Listen…..I know. Enjoy 😁

Previously on Half Crazy:

Finally you were able to walk out. You look in Shuri’s direction. Had you not witnessed what you did in that lab. The sight would’ve torn you to pieces. Her pressed into a wall to keep her stable with Okoye cradling her head like a baby’s. But all you could feel was hatred. Anger. Removing your Kimoyo beads and rings you drop them to the floor with a clang and walked away. Shuri released a grunt that sounded as though she’d been punched in the gut at the sound.

You were gone and she didn’t know why.

Please come find me.

A week Later

“LUUUUUUU!! LUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! OPEN UP I KNOW YOU’RE HOME!” A druken biligerent Shuri pounded on the door of Tolu’s home. Her loud slurred words carrying into the night. “Come on man!” She hiccuped. “HELP ME LU!” Her head began to swim, her tounge jutting out to moisten her dry lips before she stumbled backwards falling onto her bottom. A groan escaped her throat before she let out a befuddled laugh. “I’m a mess Lu! Just let me talk to her! She’s not answering my calls!” She pleaded her voice cracking. “I just need to know she’s ok Lu!” The door knob wiggled a few times before the door flew open. “Shuri it’s after midnight!” Tolu stood irritated wrapping her long silk robe around her body, her Afro protected by her silk bonnet. Her eyes landed on Shuri and her heart sank to her belly, face slightly softening. Shuri sat on the ground, completely dejected, curls matted to her head. She wore grey sweats with a sports bra, a wrinkled short sleeved button up falling from her shoulders. Her skin lacking its usual luster, gloom sucking the light from her eyes.

“Get in this house before you wake my neighbors and they see the Queen in a drunken stupor on my porch!” She yelled in a whisper, croutching over to help Shuri to her feet. Once on her feet she stumbled forward almost falling on her face before Tolu’s forearm clutched her torso. “Come on get it together Shuri.” Tolu practically dragged her inside the house as she stumbled forward. Once inside Shuri staggered out of her embrace. Straightening herself to the best of her ability as she arranged her clothing to appear more groomed. “I got it.” Shuri stated stubbornly. Tolu sighed stepping back enough to give her space, but to still be able to catch her if she fell. Shuri’s eyes scanned the wide entryway, eventually settling on the top of the staircase. She stood staring, unknowingly swaying on her feet. “I-is she still s-sleeping?” She swallowed, her eyes not leaving the stairs Tolu sucked in a bit of air her eyes closing before delievering Shuri the news. “She’s not here….She’s left Wakanda Shuri.” Her body stiffened, head snapping over to look at Tolu her words powerful enough to sober her. “L-left Wak-k-kanda?” Her eyes became misty as reality sunk into her chest “W-where is she Lu?”

“She’s safe. That’s all I can say.” Shuri shook her head, anxiously rubbing her hands over her hair and back down her face. “W-What did I d-do?” She choked out. “Can you t-tell me that? P-please. I have to fix this. I can’t do this without her. It’s driving me crazy. I’m falling apart Lu.” She broke into a sob.

“Come. Let’s have a seat Shuri. Let me get you something to help soak up some of that alcohol.” Shuri’s head hung again. Shoulders sagging in defeat as Tolu lead her to the kitchen sitting her at the table while she went to grab a bagle from her bread box. She popped them into the toaster oven and started some tea. “Shuri, you’re really telling me you have no idea why y/n left you? That sounds like bullshit.” Shuri sat sideways in her seat. One arm on the table the other placed on the back of her chair, she faced Tolu slowly shaking her head. “I-I have not one clue. Everything was going so perfectly. Then for some reason I went to the lab an-“ It hit her like lightening. Another memory. Her and Riri’s body’s pressed together on top of a table inside of the lab. 

She could hear Riri moaning her name almost as though she was standing next to her whispering in her ear. She felt her vagina molding to the shape of Ri’s fingers. Heard herself moan Ri’s name. The sound of the bagle popping out of the toaster snaps her out of the memory. Just as fast as it came it went away. Shuri was met with a concerned looking Tolu once reality set back in. Her mouth opening and closing not knowing what to say. Tolu turned away to fix up Shuri’s bagel and tea as Shuri sat in silence at the table. Wondering what was happening to her. 

Once Tolu finished she sat the food and tea on the table beside Shuri who was almost in a zombie like state. Pulling out a chair she sat adjacent to her. “Eat something Iphitshi” Shuri’s eyes fluttered upward towards Tolu a smile ghosting over her lips. The first since you’d left her. “You haven’t called me that since we were kids.” Tolu smirked sitting back in her chair. “Before y/n came and stole us from eachother huh” Shuri let out a hmph as Tolu pushed the plate towards her encouraging her to take a bite. Shuri slowly lifted the bagel from her plate slightly shaking, the alcohol catching up to her. She took a bite chewing slowly to try and keep it down. Chasing it with a swallow of tea. She sat back taking a deep breath as though that was the hardest thing she’d ever had to do. “I don’t get it. Where did I go wrong Lu?” Tolu shook her head letting out a huff. 

“She said she walked in on you with Riri in the lab….. Fucking.” Lu gave it to her plain. Shuri shook her head from side to side. Her eyes down cast, confusion covering her face. “ I didn’t.. I-I couldn’t… I wouldn’t have done that to her. Me and Ri had sex ONCE! And I told her about it as soon as we decided to work things out. I can understand her being upset that I let her stay for the remainder of her trip but she could’ve talked to me about that. To say I had sex with her again so she could leave me is crazy. I didn’t do that shit and she knows it!!!” Shuri smashed her fist against Tolu’s glass table causing it and everything on it to shatter on top of them as her veins began to glow purple. Tolu screeched jumping back. Shuri’s eyes widen as she falls out of the chair onto her knees without thinking to try and clean up the mess.

“AAARGH!! Fuck!!” She screamed as glass implanted itself into her hands and knees. “Shuri! What the fuck!” Tolu rushes over to her as safely as possible to help her to her feet. “Damnit I’m so sorry! I’ll get it cleaned up and get you another table. I’m good for it. I swear I didn’t meant to. Fuck what’s wrong with me. I’m so fucking stupid -“

“Hey! Stop it Shuri.” Tolu said sitting her at the bar. “Hell yea you’re gonna get this cleaned and get me a new table, but I’m not concerned with that tonight.” She rushed off to get a first aid kit and tweezer. She came back to Shuri with her head lowered. Chin to chest. Tears streaming down her face, watching blood leak from the wounds on her hands as they sat palms upward on her legs. Tolu timidly grabbed Shuri’s left hand and began to remove tiny shards of glass. “Never would I have ever thought I’d see little Peach so defeated. But it makes since that y/n’s the one that got you here.” Shuri continued looking down a small hiccup escaping her mouth.

“Remember it was just us. You were my bestfriend in the world. But when that pretty girl with the golden skin walked through those palace doors I knew I’d have to share. Who knew she’d steal both of our hearts.” If Tolu didn’t know any better she would’ve thought she heard a chuckle. Until a hoarse voice began to speak. “You were always the coolest girl in the world to me Tolu. So little but intense. A mini Dora.” Shuri said. Tolu chuckled.

“Same, even though you were an arrogant little prick. You really had every reason to be.” 

“Fuck you” Shuri winced as Tolu was a bit rougher with the last shard of glass. “You did that on purpose.” Tolu smirked as she disinfected both of Shuri’s hands and wrapped them. “How are your knees?” 

“They’re fine” Tolu gave a slight nod. “Shuri I don’t know what’s going on. None of this makes since to me. But you can’t break like this. You have a country that’s depending on you to be healthy and in your right mind. So you have to find a healthier way to cope while we get this figured. Our Queen can’t be stumbling around her kingdom intoxicated. And this isn’t going to get you your wife back. I love you both dearly. And I don’t want to see either of you hurting the way that you are.” Shuri’s eyes fell to the ground. “I can’t let you leave here like this. So take the guest room tonight…..And don’t worry Shuri. You and y/n will be back like never before in no time.

3 months later

“AAAHHH OH MY GOD!! Shuri! Fuuuuckk!!” 

“Shut up” Shuri’s voice is low and raspy. Sweat pouring down her sculpted body as she pounded into the equally sweaty trembling girl bent over beneath her. She yanked back on the leash attached to the collar on the girls neck. Tears pouring down her face. “You like being the Panthers slut don’t you?”

“Yesss Panther! Pl-please cum for me!! I can’t take m-much more!”

“Awww, is your pussy tired from all that cumming?” Shuri pulled back harder causing the girls eyes to reach the ceiling. Her view was soon obstructed by the view of Shuri’s beautiful face. Nine freshly done shoulder length jumbo braids fell from her scalp waving back and forth with each stroke. “Y-yes Panther! I c-can’t take another one.” Shuri smirked. “Oh but you’re going to give me another. Now arch that fucking back for me.”

Riri let out a loud grunt as she arched her back and began tossing back her ass in an attempt to match Shuri’s strokes, determined to make her cum. Shuri enjoyed this. Putting on a large normal strap and fucking Riri into exhaustion. But she would never cum and it drove Riri crazy. As Tolu had suggested, Shuri had found a healthier way to cope with y/n leaving. She trained hard. With Tolu, Okoye, Ayo, Aneeka, and on her own. When she wasn’t training. She was in her lab, in meetings, or fucking Riri into an oblivion. Shuri had left the lab at 3 am with her mind set on the latter. It had now been almost 2 hrs.

Shuri reached underneath Riri and began to rub circles into her swollen achy bud. Instantly the arch left her back, causing her to look hunched over. Shuri tsked. “Now what am I supposed to do with this?” 

“Shuri I c-can’t Ahhhhh haaaaaaa!” Drool leaked from her mouth as her body spasamed running away from Shuri’s thrust. “If you’re tapping out that’s not how it’s done.” She pressed her front into Riri’s back and began to thrust harder, her hand rubbing faster circles into Riri’s clit. Taking her other hand off of the leash she wrapped it around Riri’s throat squeezing lightly. Riri’s body began to jerk violently underneath Shuri as she tried to form a coherent sentence. “G-ggooo ahhhh SHIT!!!”

“That’s not it either Rianna.” She seductively whispered into her ear. “SHUUURRIIIIIIII!!!!! I-I Aah! I submit P-Panther UUUHHHHNNN!!” Right as Shuri let her go and pulled out of her liquid once again began to gush from her center. Her body went stiff. The intense painful pleasure causing fierce jolts to run through her body making her convulse as she came for the umpteenth time. Shuri watched as the liquid continued to sputter out with Riri’s reaching between her legs to try and stop it. “I ca-ant ssstop cummming Uhhnngg”. Silently Shuri continued to watch as Riri began to slip in and out of consciousness.

Riri walked the halls of the palace. Her feet guiding her to the familiar hall that led to the Queens home. Nodding at the Dora standing guard she entered. The closer she got to the door the more she could hear the echo of Shuri’s cries. She’d stayed away for about a week. Allowing Shuri time to process. Now it was her time to make her move. You see her intent was never to use the atoms continuously. It was made to throw enough of a wrench in Shuri and y/n’s lives to allow her to be able to squeeze her way in. And now the time had come for her to make her move. Now standing infront of the door she realized it was slightly cracked. 

She stepped inside looking around. It was dark, the mess from the day y/n left still present. “Damn she did a number on this place.” The sound of soft whimpers caught Riri’s attention as she exited the foyer. “Shuri. Shuri it’s me Ri.” Still no answer only light cries. Following the sound Riri found Shuri sitting on the floor of her living room back up against the front of her couch. A bottle of scotch sat next to her as her head lie on her knees. “Oh Shuri.” Riri sat on the floor across from her. “I’m so sorry this happened.” 

“I don’t know what happened Ri. Everything was ok. Now she won’t talk to me. She won’t even tell me what I did wrong.” She was obviously intoxicated. Her words slurred and she would hiccup on occasion. “That’s not okay Shuri. It sounds like she was just looking for an excuse to leave. You deserve better. Someone who can communicate their issues with you.” Shuri finally looked up into Riri’s eyes. “Is that you? You can do that for me?” An inquisitive look passed over Shuri’s face and had Riri payed a bit more attention she would’ve noticed the small serpentine glint in Shuri’s eyes. But filled with her own ulterior motives she moved forward in her plan. A smirk lifted one side of her mouth. “I can. If that’s what you want. I could make it all better  for you Angel. If you’ll let me.”

A slow smile formed on Shuri’s face before she broke eye contact grabbing her bottle of liquor. She settled back onto the front of the couch. A chuckle leaving her before bringing the bottle up to her lips guzzling down 3 gulps and removing it from her mouth. Her eyes then settled back on Riri. “You’re gonna make me all better huh?” She said, Her bottom lip getting trapped between her perfect teeth. Eyes low from her drunken state. “If you want me to.” Riri came closer. Now sitting on her knees beside Shuri. “Ask me if you can Rianna” Shuri’s eyes bore holes into Riri’s face. The depth of her voice sent chills down her spine. “Can I make it better for you?” Riri removed the bottle from Shuri’s hand, once again placing it beside her. 

Straddling Shuri’s lap she held her face in her hands, locking their eyes together. “Please let me be here for you. Stay with you. Dry these tears for you.” She leans in. Her lips grazing over Shuri’s. Her mouth slightly open, breath tickling Shuri’s lips. Shuri’s tounge slowly escapes her mouth. Taking access to Riri’s that she happily accepts. She closes her mouth around Shuri’s tongue, her eyes closing upon reflex at the taste of her. The bitter taste of the spirits mixed in with her earthy taste driving her wild as she sucked before opening her mouth and intertwining their tounges. She’d done it! She was here kissing her girl without the use of her device. Shuri was going to fall for her!

“Ri, RI!!! Get up I’m hungry!” Riri was jarred awake by a freshly showered, fully dressed Shuri. In her dark Maroon sweat suit and black combat vest, her chains sitting neatly on the outside of her shirt. She stood impatiently over the top of her, placing her braids in a bun at the top of her head. “It’s almost sunrise Shuri.”

“Which is why I would like some breakfast so I can go home and prepare for my day.”

“Baby, why don’t you stay here in bed with me. Or let me stay with you for once.” Shuri’s face morphed into a sneer, scoffing. “Get yourself together so you can prepare my breakfast. I suggest you move quickly.” And with that she was out of the room. A soft sigh left Riri’s mouth. She lifted her aching body and threw her legs over the edge of the bed. Bracing herself to stand to her feet. Three short rocks and a hop and she found her self on the ground her wobbly legs and sore core betraying her. “Fuck” She whispered. 

This is how it had been since the day Riri found Shuri in a puddle of alcohol and tears on her living room floor and begged to take y/n’s place. Shuri was more toned, dressed to the nines, and most importantly. She was mean. That beautiful sweet personality that she’d fell in love with had teetered away. Something was wrong. Once Riri had realized she’d gotten Shuri but not the Shuri that she’d wanted she’d tried using the atoms to get the gentle affection she’d always desired from Shuri… But there was a problem. They didn’t work. She’d asked her Stark AI if they could be located but they were completely offline and undetectable. 

Riri grabbed the side of the bed trying to stand to her feet once again. Legs still achy and wobbly she gathered the strength to walk to the bathroom and wash up quickly. She grabbed her robe and put on her slippers and headed into the living room. She was met with Shuri on the couch manspread, arm thrown over the back of the couch, once again enjoying a cocktail. “What would you like for breakfast Shuri?” 

“Surprise me.” She said without looking in Riri’s direction. Riri decided on just making a simple turkey bacon avacado toast, With a fruit smoothie. Racking her brain trying to figure out what happened to her beloved invention. Could it be the amount of alcohol Shuri had been consuming? The training? Is it the reason for her recent behavior. God what happened!?  A single tear ran down her face. She quickly wiped it away with the back of her hand. She wanted Shuri to love her more than ever before. She’d be lying if she said the turn Shuri had taken wasn’t a bit sexy. The sex was always amazing and she was well pleased. But what hurt was the lack of affection. She craved it. 

Finishing up Shuri’s breakfast knowing that she wouldn’t stay to eat it, she packed it up and walked out of the kitchen to give it to her. “It’s finished. I’ve got it ready to go for you.” Riri’s voice was small and sorrowful. Shuri stood to her feet. Taking the food from Riri’s hands and preparing to leave. “Shuri. Wait.” Shuri stopped turning to look at Riri. Her brow arched in question. “What is this? W-what are we?” Shuri‘s facial expression never changed. She only slightly tilted her head to the side. “I’m only asking because we do this everyday. The sex is amazing and I enjoy your company. But I want more Shuri. I’m falling in love with you and I want you to love me too. You don’t hold me. Or take me on dates or anything and I just want to know where this is going?”

“Where does it feel like it’s going Rianna?” Shuri placed her food on the side table and stepped closer. “I don’t know Shuri. But I know where I want it to go. And I know you’re capable of it. I want you to love me the way you loved her. Why don’t you love me the way you loved her.” Riri’s voice broke, and again tears began to fall. But this time she allowed them. Shuri’s face turned concerned as she quickly stepped into Riri’s space holding her face hostage with her hands. To be sure Tiri couldn’t pull away. “Oh Sithandwa..” She pulled her face upwards making sure their eyes connect. Shuri began to speak while wiping Riri’s tears with her thumbs. “It’s so simple… I am still very much in love with my wife. And you are simply not her.” Riri’s eyes widened as Shuri gently kisses her on the forehead before whispering in her ear. “You got what you wanted right.” She let go of her face and looked her in the eyes. There it was again. That glint. Except this time Riri couldn’t miss it if she wanted.

Shuri grabbed her food once again and walked out of the door leaving Riri with her heart in her stomach and only one thing on her mind. 

Did Shuri know?

Shuri walked into her home to the sound of someone in her living room. Her eyes rolled up into her head as she shut the door behind her. “Why are you here Tolu?” She said before she even rounded the corner.  “I see you’re still fucking that manipulator?” Shuri plopped down on the couch next to her propping her feet up on the table infront of her. “You’re the one that told me to find something healthier to do?” She said nonchalantly opening the container with her breakfast and digging in. “As in train. Run your country. Invent some shit. Not continue fucking the very woman that your wife left you over. And you’re still drinking. I can smell it on you.” 

“Well I’m doing all of the above. It’s called balance.”

“Maybe you should try to fit sleeping in their somewhere too. And if you mustn’t maybe you should try doing something that might actually help you get your wife back!” 

“HA!” Shuri threw her head back with a mouth full of food. “And just how do you suggest I go about doing that Lu? She’s refused to talk to me! Left Wakanda to go Bast knows where for three fucking months! Still won’t tell me what the fuck I did! And is only returning today to DIVORCE ME!”

“EXACTLY SHURI!! She’ll be here! Do something for bast sake!”

“Maybe I don’t want to!” Shuri jumped up from the sofa and began to pace. “She just left me with no explanation Tolu! Maybe I’m fucking angry! Do I not have that right!”

“I told you she said she caught you fucking Ri.”

“But I didn’t!”

“You sure as hell are now! And how do plan to explain that to her?”

“I don’t! She didn’t feel the need to explain shit to me. So why would I owe her an explanation now? If anything she pushed me into her arms!” Tolu huffed in exasperation. “That’s bullshit and you know it. If you really didn’t do it you could’ve proved her wrong Shuri.” Shuri sat down again. Placing her head in her hands. “She’s returning to divorce you Shuri. Are you really going to allow her to be done?” Shuri released a quivering exhale. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose her. It terrifies me. I can’t even think straight. I just. I just wish it never happened. I want to snap my fingers and it all just goes back to normal. I miss her Lu.” Tolu scoots closer placing a hand on Shuri’s back as she breaks down.

“The whole Kingdom can see that Shuri. You’re not hiding it as well as you think. It’s time to stop swallowing your feelings, let go of the anger and put that energy into letting your wife know you’re not letting her go so easily. She fought for you. Now it’s your turn.” Tolu stood to her feet. “I’m going to make sure everything at the house is prepared for her arrival. Get yourself together Peach.” 

Shuri leaned against the bookshelf inside of the meeting room at the lawyers office, staring out of the window in anticipation. Nerves getting the best of her. It felt like it’d been years since she’d seen your face. She wore a black oversized suit with a turtleneck and a black and gold embroidered vest. Her gold and silver chains shined in contrast to the black underneath. Her right ear decorated in a gold and silver ear cuff. Several bracelets decorated her wrist and rings decorated her beautiful fingers. The most important being her wedding ring. Her pointed toe chunky heeled boots decorated with gold at the tip tapped tirelessly against the floor, and her braids were now worn loose. Her woodsy vanilla scent lingered in the air. She looked impossibly delicious.

When a black Ashton Martin pulled up to the front of the building Shuri’s heart rate began to speed up. She watched as a woman about her height dressed in a grey sweat suit with a tan trench, NY fitted cap, with long locs flowing from underneath hopped out of one side of the car jogging to the otherside to open the door for you. A black stiletto boot delicately stepped outside of the car, as the woman reached in to grab your hand, pulling you out of the car and right into her arms. Your arms wrapped around her neck as your lips connected to hers. 

Shuri’s jaw fell slack, surprise stealing the air from her lungs. She stood completely stunned for a moment before her hand came up to her chest subconsciously reminding her to breathe. That’s when she noticed the tear rolling down her cheek, and that you were no longer in her line of sight. Her eyes darted from side to side as she wiped at her tear. Quickly sniffing and blinking away anymore. She let out a quick puff of air to collect herself and allowed numbness to take over. 

She took a seat at the long mahogany wood table, next to her lawyer. Her face now stoic, sitting low in her seat with her right foot crossed over left knee. She grabbed her shades from the table and placed them on her face, just in time for you to walk through the door. Her bottom lip settled inbetween her teeth almost like reflex to the sight of you. The first thing Shuri had noticed was that you’d gained a bit of weight. Your breast were a bit more swollen and your hips had spread. And fuuuck did it look good on you. Her body began to heat up. As she surveyed your curves in the extremly low cut black leather dress, as you removed the black trench that had sat on your shoulders. She watched you avoid the sight of her under your wide brimmed fedora hat that sat cocked over your right eye. Your locks tied in a tight bun underneath. How the fuck was she supposed to get through this? How was she supposed to let you go?

Fuck it. “I would like to have a word alone with my wife before we begin these proceedings.” Shuri speaks up from her seat. Your eyes finally land on her and your heart skipped a beat. She looked different. In all of the right ways. You never thought your wife could be anymore attractive. Her regal presence began to make you nervous, causing your stomach to flutter. Or was baby just acknowledging the presence of its mother. “No.” You say simply. Shuri let out a small chuckle a smirk curving the corner of her lips. “It wasn’t a request.” She stated calmly. You roll your eyes letting out an irritated sigh as everyone began to file out of the room. The last person left out closing the door behind them leaving you two completely alone for the first time in months. You stand awkwardly across from her as you feel her eyes burning through you. 

Nervous that she may notice the growing life inside of you, you subconsciously place your arms infront of you and began playing with your fingers. “Ubonakala umhle nkosazana” (You look beautiful). 

“What is it Shuri? I didn’t plan on being here for long. I just wanted to go over the stipulations of this divorce to see if we can do this amicably.” A scoff left Shuri’s mouth. “Amicably huh? Bold of you being that you brought your whore to my country. Hopefully she makes it out well.”

“Oh please! You wouldn’t dare touch her. Teyana is no threat to this nation. Only to your bruised ego.”

“Oh her name! Goody that’ll make it even easier.” Shuri sneered. 

“You know what Shuri Fuck you!! Bold of you to care when you’re still traipsing around Wakanda with the bitch I left you over. I hear you’re not only a habitual cheater but a functioning alcholic!”

“The functioning part of that is what’s important though right?” You look at her in disgust before going to grab your coat. “I’m leaving. I’ll handle this on my own and send you the papers.”

“So that’s really why you left me?” You stopped mid stride. “You never told me what happened. You just left me y/n. How am I supposed to fix it if I don’t know.” Keeping your back turned you answer. “Maybe I didn’t want you to fix it. Maybe there should’ve never been anything done to fix.” 

“I didn’t cheat on you again Sthandwa. I was honest about what happened with Ri and I and it never happened again.” You turn around and slam your fist on the desk. “LIAR!! I watched you! Inside of the lab! The bitch smiled at me over your shoulder as you rode her fucking fingers. I think I know my wife’s body and the way she sounds when she’s being fucked! So unless there’s a clone of the Queen coming around Wakanda only to fuck Riri! You can stop lying to my face! And the audacity of you to continue after I left is unfathomable to me!”

Shuri stood from  her chair removing her glasses to reveal the tears brimming her eyes. “I just want to feel something!! Take my anger out somewhere! All the training staying busy!! It’s not working! So what else do I do? I might as well fuck her since I already lost you when I DIDNT DO IT!” 

“Stop lying to me Shuri! I can’t do this!” Shuri rounded the table with urgency making her way towards you. She was charging forward and it didn’t seem like she would stop. You started backing up as she continued moving forward.

“I didn’t do it!”

“STOP!”

 “I didn’t do it!”

“YOU’RE LYING!”

 “I DIDN’T DO IT!”

She’d backed you into the table. Her face so close you could taste the mint on her breath. Both of your breathing heavy with the adrenaline of anger running through your veins. All of a sudden her lips were on yours and your arms were wrapping around her shoulders tight, like you never wanted to let her go. Your bodies melded into one anothers as you shared a slow, hungry, desperate, sloppy kiss. The scent of her, the feel of her back in your arms. Her arms wrapped around the small of your back felt like home. You started to feel faint it was too much. She took your breath away while simultaneously pouring life into you. She pulled away from you staring into your eyes. 

Looking into her eyes confusion begin to set in. You’d known Shuri a good portion of your life. And you couldn’t find the lie in her eyes. You lie your head on her shoulder your arms still wrapped tight around her. Her hands rested on your hips as she walked you backward sitting you down in a nearby chair.  She crouched infront of you grabbing both of your hands in front of her. Placing her other over her heart. “Baby I didn’t do it. You have to believe me. W-we were getting our life back. Trying to make a family. I was loving every minute of it. I didn’t have the space in my head or in my heart for anyone else. You’re all I wanted. You’re still all I want. I wouldn’t have risked this. Loosing you. I- I can’t do it. I can’t do this baby. I don’t want to.” She went down to her knees her head falling into your lap. “Let me figure this out please. Let’s not rush into a divorce. Just let me figure it out.” 

Placing your hands on her head you close your eyes as tears fall and your jaw trembles. Your chest shakes with your sobs. “I want to believe you Shuri I do. But I saw what I saw.” You could see her shoulders deflate as her head sunk deeper into your lap her hands squeezing a bit tighter. Staring up at the ceiling you release a wet exhale. “I wont file yet.” You whisper. Shuri’s head shot up from your lap eyes bloodshot and face stained with tears. Your right hand cups her chin as you lean closer to her. “Prove it Udaku”. With that you stand to your feet, place your hat back on your head and put your coat back on your shoulders. Leaving Shuri on her knees. She sits completely on the floor wiping at her tears, her heart finally filled with hope. A chime from Shuri’s Kimoyo beads interupted her moment.

“Panther the results of the analysis of the atoms have been finalalized and are ready for your review.” 

Shuri’s eyes widened as she jumped to her feet grabbing her trench from her chair. She ran after you. 

“Baby wait!” She yelled as she caught up with you. Once again you halt. Giving her your undivided attention. “I have something you might want to see.”

A/n: I hope you all enjoyed!! The next part will be the finale!!!

[sidthedollface2]

A Crown fit for a God  (Part 5)

Part 4

Pairing: Azriel x Fem Reader

Ch Summary: Elain tries to hold on to whatever relationship she and Azriel have left. Will he submit to her desires? Or seek you out instead?

Or

You accidentally discover what the inside of a cell looks like. 

word count: 4.3k

Ch warnings: SA (groping, not graphic and no p in v), thoughts of murder, drugging, cheating (don't worry), slight pregnancy talk. 

Series warnings: 18+ MDNI, SMUT,  mentions of SA, angst, hurt/comfort, war, murder including injuries, fighting, no use of y/n, nicknames, magic, greek mythology, pining, jealousy, soft Az with a little temper, azriel with other women (sorry), reader with another man (get it friend ; )

A/n: I had something totally different planned but decided to take this little detour. Lol. I believe after this chapter we will see more of Azriel and reader interactions. I think. Idk. maybe. I'm a daydreamer not a writer so if you see any mistakes that's how I dreamt it. Lol

The following day Lucien had gotten into a fight with Eris, what was at first a screaming match turned physical, as fists flew left and right. Both males stubborn in their decision, Lucien adamant that he already had planned to run away with you to the Spring Court and Eris tried to explain that a life on the run was no life at all. He promised Lucien you’d be well taken care of and that you’d be a wonderful High Lady when the time came. “No! I’d rather die than watch her marry you.” Lucien roared, angering his brother even more. “We will leave in two days' time and you will not seek us out.” Two days. Eris had two days to figure out how to make you stay.  

If Eris was to be the next High Lord he’d have to do dishonorable things to get what he wanted. This was the first of many. “Gods forgive me for what I'm about to do,” he whispered to himself as he mixed the sex pollen into the cake batter. He placed the round tins in the oven, just like his mother had shown him many times before. Once the cake was frosted and decorated he hand delivered it to an old friend he hadn’t seen in a long while. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once again Azriel watched as you walked away, a lone shadow ordered to follow and keep you  safe trailing behind you. Shame filled his guilty heart. He had never acted this way before, not with Mor or Elain or any other female he had in his bed. It was foolish to judge you when he’s had more than enough partners in the 500 plus years he’s been alive.   

Was he going to apologize by fetching you contraceptive tea from The Night Court, so you could sleep with someone else, while he pinned after you? 

Yes. Yes he was, and he certainly wasn't thrilled about it. 

The following morning you stumbled upon a small box on the front steps of your cottage; adorned in navy wrapping paper and secured with a golden bow. A small note was attached along with a violet flower, its stem carrying bulb-like flower buds waiting to bloom and berries as black as the midnight sky. You recognized the plant as Nightshade. 

My Queen of Death,

 I hope you’ll find it in your heart to forgive my ignorance. I'm ashamed that I've allowed my jealousy to transpire into hurtful words. Words that no female should ever hear and I truly apologize for judging your actions when my own are not very admirable. I realize that actions speak louder than words and I aim to show you just how sorry I am.  

Yours, Azriel

A small smile pulled at your lips as you unraveled the bow and looked inside the box. Three jars of finely crushed herbs, each labeled individually accompanied by a beautifully crafted infuser were neatly placed within the box. Along with healing salves for your wounds, and seeds to grow your own Nightshade. 

“What is that Fawn?” you didn’t hear as Eris winnowed to the cottage, his glare immediately finding the gift box in your hands. You had two options: lie and say it's just tea from a merchant or tell the truth and enrage the future heir. You were no coward, “It’s contraceptive tea from The Night Court,” you declared with not a hint of hesitation. Eris clenched his hands in a fist, taming the lingering flame that threatened to burst free in his rage. His nostrils flared in distaste for your actions. You knew the plan was to pretend to marry Eris and produce an heir, granting his fathers wishes. Somewhere along the way those pretend lies blurred into truth, at least for Eris. 

“Who did you get the tea from?” he asked, deeply inhaling the air around him, scenting for another male. Thank the Gods you had glamoured your scent, “My friend gifted it to me.” 

“You don’t have friends, I need a name now!” He seethed, clenching his jaw in anger.

You scowled at him, turning your back to him with the gift in your hands, heading back into the cottage. When he suddenly reached over, snatching the note from your hand. 

“Hey!” 

“My Queen?” He questions, reading over the note in a mocking tone and a furrowed brow, “your Azriel?” Eris smugly chuckles, "My Gods he really does know how to work the females doesn’t he? He doesn’t want to be your friend Fawn, he just wants to fuck you. I bet that's the reason he got jealous wasn't it?” He states, crumbling the note in his fist and setting it on fire with his magic. When he opens his fist again a small amount of ash floats to the ground. 

Eris had done what he always does. Place doubt in your mind that no one would ever want you more than a fuck buddy and no one has ever been friends with a Death God. The others were locked away in the prison, the weavers cottage, and the lake. Soon enough the other High Lords would come to know of you and your powers and lock you away like the rest. 

“You're right, but I still want the tea.” 

Eris stalks closer, taking the gift from your hands, “I’ll get you some new tea. This one probably has sex pollen in it. You can never trust the males of The Night Court. I’ve already told you, they share their females. And you're too precious to share.” 

Eris throws the box over this shoulder, setting it aflame before it even hits the ground. 

He wraps his arm around your shoulder, walking you inside the cottage, “Mother requests you at the Forest House. She wants you to wear a dress to Helion's celebration.”

~~~~

Azriel thought about your last words to him and it hurt him to admit you were right. No one had ever loved him. At least not as deeply as your love for Lucien. He wondered what your love would feel like. Would it be as fierce as you were, with power surging through your veins? Were you a hopeless romantic where you’d hold his hand and kiss him in the middle of the street on the rainiest day of the year? With how he was acting, that idea seemed so far off. So far each encounter with you was met with his illyrian ways of being a territorial, possessive, jealous male. He was man enough to admit he was jealous, Lucien had a piece of your heart, if not now then before. He had no right to be jealous, he was sleeping with Elain afterall. A situation he needed to end once and for all.

His curiosity was heavy enough to seek out the male and question the depths of the relationship. Not long after he landed back in Velaris, he found himself knocking on Lucien's apartment door, hoping to catch up. 

Lucien opened the door and he immediately regretted it. He wasn’t exactly fond of the illyrian who had been sleeping with his mate. Knowing very well Azriel’s appetite for beautiful females. He’d figure once he grew bored of Elain he’d find another female to bed and another and another, leaving those poor females a shell of their former selves. Lucien had no patience for small talk and he wasn't exactly interested in what the shadowsinger had to say, “whatever it is, I don’t care.” Lucien moved to close the door in Azriel’s face, unamused with the sudden visit.

“Wait!” Azriel pleaded, hand splayed over the door that was about to close on him. “I’m not here to talk about Elain, I’m ending it with her today. I’m here to talk about Khaos.” Lucien sighed, letting the shadowsinger enter his apartment. “Is she safe?” Lucien's worried eyes scanned Azriel for any hint of deception. “Yeah, she's safe, I just wanted to know how she was with you and now Eris. More importantly, what happened between you two? ”

Azriel walked over to Lucien's couch, Mid bend to make himself comfortable, “don’t sit. I don’t plan to entertain you,” Lucien spat, crossing his arms over his chest. Azriel let the weight of his body plop down on the couch, arms stretched wide across the back cushion. His unwavering stare indicating he would get the answers to his questions. Lucien gritted his teeth in annoyance, “ I’m not telling you shit. What happened between us, remains between us.” 

Azriel nodded, understanding his hesitancy to give any details regarding a former lover, “It’s just that I’d like to get to know her bett-”

“Haven’t you had your fill?" Lucien interrupted with a scowl, “must you take every female that I love?” He scoffed. “You don’t even deserve to breathe the same air as her.” 

There it was, his opening. Exactly what he was hoping for. Azriel didn’t hesitate in prodding further. 

“If you loved her, why did you leave?” 

Lucien shook his head, running his hand through his long locks, “No, not past tense. I still do. I’ll always…” Lucien swallowed, he couldn’t finish that sentence, it hurt too much. Azriel narrowed his eyes, Gods, he still loved you he thought to himself. He knew his next words would reopen a healed wound, but he needed more.  “You love her so much you let Eris fuck her too.” Azriel internally flinched at how tasteless the statement was. 

Lucien winced at the Shadowsingers clear attempt to rile him up, those crude words grating against his heart, “Get out!” 

Azriel smirked and threw his mud covered boots on top of the coffee table, rattling the few cups that lingered. Crossing his legs at the ankle, “the faster you tell me what I want to know, the faster I'll leave.” 

Lucien rubbed the space between his brows and let out an annoyed groan. His gaze fixed on a burgundy cloak that was thrown over an armchair. A cloak that once belonged to you, after all these years he still held onto it. Lucien's eyes glazed over in sadness as he recalled the reason he left, “after my father wished for Eris to court her, I tried to take her away to The Spring Court so we could be together. I went to our friend Jesminda's house to say my goodbyes. She invited me in for cake and tea, one thing led to another and I made the biggest mistake of my life. I couldn't tell her, so I left for Spring alone. ”

“You cheated on her?” Azriel asked. 

Lucien nodded, clearing his throat from the knot of emotion that threatened to break free. 

“You’re a fucking coward,” Azriel glared as he stalked towards the door, “she thinks the world of you and you couldn’t even tell her of your betrayal.” 

He opened the door to the apartment, leaving Lucien to sulk in misery,

“You said I don't deserve her, but it’s you who doesn't deserve a place in her heart. I’ll make sure she knows of your cowardice and infidelity.” 

Azriel slammed the door behind him and as he walked away he heard the cries of a wounded fox, shattered to pieces by a guilty conscience.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You stood in front of a full length mirror, its reflection one you didn't recognize. Your eyes lacked the stars that once circled your pupils, your once moon like orb was no longer crisp and bright. No longer did you look like a God that brought blood and gore to those who deserved a painful death. How did the Goddess of Life succumb to a female with nowhere to go but beside her betrothed. To obey his every wish with a smile on your face. Only speak when spoken to and never voice the thoughts that lingered beyond those of dresses and motherhood.

Was your life to be on your back while Eris spilled his seed inside you, producing heir after heir until your very womb decayed. “Aos? Which color would you like the dress?” you shook your head, riding yourself from your detached thoughts. You met the eyes of Auren through the mirror, a seamstress tasked with measuring you for Helion’s Celebration. “Blue would look lovely, Thank you Auren.” 

“The Prince is wearing a deep cadmium red, it be wise to match with the future heir.” Auren explained as she struggled to wrap the measuring tape around your waist, placing her finger against your body, noting the inch at which her finger fit snugly against your skin. “Make it a royal blue Auren, it reminds me of home.” 

Her heavy breathing took you out of your thoughts and your eyes widened at her swollen belly, the reason for her struggle to reach around you. “Oh Auren, I didn’t realize. It’s not polite to comment-” 

“It’s alright really, just got harder to bend and move,” she laughed, rubbing her round stomach soothingly. You beamed as she cradled the life that was growing inside her. A warmth so familiar bloomed inside you. You knew all too well the reason pregnancy was difficult in the fae lands, ever since you fell from the sky procreation had severely diminished. Not forgotten or misplaced just pointless in a cruel world. You couldn't say you had nothing to do with it, you had everything to do with creation. So it was quite a shock to see Auren pregnant, “a miracle really. Congratulations Auren, you make a wonderful mother.” 

“It’s always been a dream of mine. Thank the Gods for this fertility tea.” She took a sip from her cup and as she set it down you glanced inside, “whole nuts?” you questioned with a raised eyebrow. “Mhmm, it tastes gritty when they’re crushed down to a powder.” She grimaced as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. 

“Gritty?”

Weekly dinners with the Vanserras, you were served tea.

It couldn’t be. 

It was.

You paled. 

~~~~~~~

At dinner everyone moved around you carrying their conversations like you weren’t slowly dying inside. Like you were invisible. You sat unmoving, hands clasped within your lap as you burned a hole into the mug that accompanied your dessert. How long had you been drinking that tea? How long were you going to pretend to be Eris' lover? How long were you going to put on this mask of compliance and docility, when in reality you could rip the flesh from their bones with a blink of an eye. Slaughter each and every member of the Vanserras without a single ounce of remorse.

The more you dwelled on it the more plausible it seemed. Yes, you’d remove them all at once with the snap of your finger. Each death exactly the same as the next, painful in the way they’ve caused pain to others. No, tortuous. Starting with the slow removal of each fingernail, pulled directly from the nailbed followed by severing each finger until nothing remained of their hands but a bloody useless paw. You wouldn't stop there. Next you’d remove their feet below the ankles, better yet, below the knee, so that to move they'd need to drag their meat sack of bones across all the painful textures of the land. Each and every pull against the earth would reopen thin healed skin, leaving trails of crimson blood mixed with pus and torn flesh.

The cries of a once feared family would bring their citizens out only to shriek, and gasp in horror at the sight of the disfigured thing. As a mercy you’d allow them to keep their eyes and ears so they’d hear each vulgar degradation aimed at how mutilated and disgusting they looked, visualize the moment they made someone so ill all that could be done was vomit the contents of their stomach. No one would pin it on Eris if he was among the deformed. Though you weren’t so cruel, they did help you somewhat. Provide you with shelter, food, all the means that you’ve needed to survive thus far. Asphyxiation would be painless, you smirked.

Eris placed a panicked hand to the base of his throat, glancing around the table at his family; he noticed their glossy widened eyes. Their mouths hung open in a silent scream, opening and closing like a fish out of water, gasping for a breath of air. Utensils clattered to the ground as Lord Beron attempted to stand only to stumble clenching the table cloth for fear of falling. Eris’ amber gaze landed on your morbid stare. Eyes cloudy and pale with the promise of death in their unfocused glare.

The room spun round and round although he remained seated, knuckles white from gripping the wooden table. He felt himself slowly losing consciousness, the lack of oxygen to his brain pulling him under, a swipe across his nose made him nearly pass out as he felt blood drip down, coating his lips. Eris chanced one last look into the soul of beautiful death and found your lifeless eyes already claiming his beating heart. 

With a last ditch effort to reclaim his soul he struggled through the pounding inside his head. Placing a trembling hand against your thigh, conjuring the remaining power he had into a lick of flame. Burning against your thigh brought your thoughts back to dinner. Those heterochromia eyes morphed into the vibrant colors of the galaxy with a single blink. The sharp inhale of air surrounded the table as your mind released them from the claws of death's grip. “Must be the tea,” you challenged, voice dripping with insolence as your cold eyes met those of Lord Beron. “We’ve been poisoned!” Eris's younger brother Janus reported, pouring out his cup of tea showcasing the darkened goop that splattered to the ground. Eris’ gaze traveled from the cup to you and back again. A look of shock and hurt in the way he studied your indifference. Once everyone cleared the dinner table, Lord Beron ordered the guards to sweep the halls for a breach and check the tea imports for tampering. 

~~~~~

You made your way to your bed chambers when a rough hand tightly gripped your arm; shoving you against the stone walls with enough force to knock the sense out of you. Lord Beron lowered his mouth to your ear so no one else could hear his vile words. “If I have to chain your legs apart and force him on you, so be it! But you will let Eris fuck a babe into your pathetic cunt!” He snarled, voice dripping with the rot that plagued his evil soul. You stared at the grip he had on your arm, a bruise in the shape of fingertips already forming around your bicep. 

“Threaten me all you want-"

The back of Lord Berons palm landed across your cheek with an audible slap, whipping your face so hard you stumbled to the floor. Your fingertips sparked with electric current, adrenaline running through you, tempting you to act, to destroy everyone that got in your way. And Lord Beron would be the first to witness your fury. Defiantly, you stood to meet his stare, chin held high with pride, “I bow to no High Lord.” 

Lord Beron didn’t bother to strike you as he signaled for a guard to escort you below. Where they kept their murderers, thieves, and those that needed a reminder of who their High Lord was. Lord Beron didn’t know how powerful you were since you kept most of your magic to yourself and those close to you, so it came as a shock when a stainless steel collar dipped in faebane was locked around your neck, made to look like a simple necklace with the only key belonging to High Lord Beron. 

You were dragged down the cold halls farther than you knew existed, down a spiral of stone steps, passed the cells that housed the criminals of Autumn and last through a hidden wall disguised as an unassuming bookcase. Your heart rate spiked as you realized this area was one you had never seen before and it worried you that maybe that was the point. You tried to summon your magic despite the collar releasing its poison onto your skin, but with nowhere to release the rage, the opposite happened. Your power turned to its host and acted like a sedative, pulling you into a sleep-like state. 

In your near-unconsciousness you didn’t feel the rough hands of a guard help himself to the curves of your body, groping your breasts and grabbing your ass before he kneeled at your feet, shackling your legs apart just as Lord Beron promised. The guards were instructed to not penetrate you but that didn’t stop them from standing around your cell to gawk and fist their needy cocks to the sight of your spread pussy. 

~~~~~~~~~

Azriel breathed a sigh of relief as he entered his room. A welcoming comfort no one could grant him, except perhaps you. 

He neared his four poster bed, large enough for his wings and a lover or two. Just as he was about to throw himself onto its pillowy top a sweet scent engulfed him. Too sweet for his liking and definitely not your scent.  As he looked to the illuminated light escaping the bottom of the  bathing room; Elain emerged from a cloud of steam, casting her in a hazy glow. Azriels eyes trailed the length of her nude body, drops of water tracking down her thin legs.

Azriel couldn't deny what a beautiful female she was, both inside and out. He was lucky to have been with her no matter how short their fling was about to be. What Elain assumed was lust in Azriels eyes was actually reflection. Seeing her bare before him reminded him of what she offered time and time again. Her physical body. He knew that's not all she had to offer, deep down she had goals to be met and hobbies that he didn't understand, but physical intimacy is what she offered to him.

Azriel couldn't believe he had gotten to the point where sex was no longer enough. He wanted more. He wanted it all. He wanted that body, mind and spirit love. A soul connection so deep not even death would be able to pry his heart away. He felt it in his bones that that connection was not with Elain, so he’d decided now was as good a time as any, to let her go. 

Without another glance Azriel walked to his closet, which held an assortment of her clothes. He pulled out her favorite pink robe, and draped it over her shoulders. Elain took the hint and tied the robe around her body at the waist, covering her completely. The act alone brought her to tears as his rejection flooded her with shame and embarrassment. 

“Who is she?” Elain muttered, crossing her arms over her stomach in an attempt to hold herself together. Azriel shook his head, a soft sigh leaving his lips. 

“Did you sleep with her?” 

“No. I wouldn't do that to her - to you,” he shook his head, “I wouldn't do that to you.”

“Do you want to sleep with her?” Elain asked with a wobble in her throat, not sure if she could handle his answer. 

Azriel turned his back on Elain and placed his hands on his hips. A heavy sigh escaped his lips as he hung his head. Yes, he did want to bed you, but more than anything he wanted to hear the sound of your soft breathing as you slept nestled against his chest. He wanted to trace the beauty marks along your back and see how many constellations adorned your soft skin. 

“Azriel!” 

“Yes! Is that what you wanted to hear? He snapped.

“NO! I want to hear that you love me, not that you want to fuck someone else!” Elain sobbed, her tears freely flowing down her cheeks. “It’s her isn't it? The one you’ve been looking for all these years? The female you said I shouldn't worry about?” Elain continued to wipe away her tears. 

“I never meant to hurt you, and for that I’m sorry. If there's a chance that she’s who's destined for me then I have to explore that. You know how much I want what my brothers have, that special someone made for me!” Azriel sat on the edge of the bed, running his hands through his wavy hair. 

“I thought I was made for you Az?” 

A scoff leaves Azriels lips, “you were made for Lucien, he's your mate Elain, not me.” 

Elains stunned silent. The truth of his words piercing her fragile heart, “but I chose you.” 

“And I’m choosing her.” 

“Azriel, she's a Death God,” she pleads, kneeling in front of him with her hands on his knees, “she’s threatened Velaris and Rhys hates her. You met her one time as a child. You don’t know her!” she yelled, hurt laced in her words as she tried to make sense of his actions.

“I want to get to know her!” Azriel yelled back, standing abruptly from his position on the bed, making Elain stumble slightly, catching herself with her palms on the floor. 

“I’m sorry, this thing between us. It was never –”

Azriels shadows interrupt him as they swarm the room, darting erratically from side to side in alarm. Goosebumps form along his arms as they whisper in his ear, ‘In trouble, hurry.’ Azriel didn't need to ask who was in trouble. Somehow he could feel your despair in the pit of his stomach. You needed him and he would go to you. However far you were, he would walk miles to reach you, fly through the toughest storms to be by your side. Risk his own life if it meant you’d survive to see another day. Without another word he raced out of the house, leaving a broken hearted Elain to pick up the pieces of her fractured heart. He couldn’t be there for her any longer, not when his heart was calling out for you. 

A/n:  I’ve had a crazy week with my daughter being sick and planning her birthday party. I expect the next ch to take me some time. As always thank you so much for reading and for your sweet comments.  

Taglist: @blackgirlmagicforever @going-through-shit @dr4g0ngirl @mybestfriendmademe @isa1b2h3 @julesofvolterra @scooobies @thisblogisaboutabook @lilah-asteria @glitterypirateduck @acourtofbatboydreams @5onedirection5

[morning-star-joy]

this slope is treacherous, this path is reckless

a stranger's heart without a home Chapter 11

Pairing: friends with benefits Joel x F!Reader, Post-Outbreak

Chapter Summary: A visit to your goddaughter. A moment of recollection from Joel. A familiar midnight call.

Chapter Warnings: Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI) Oral Sex (f receiving), Unprotected p in v sex, Mention of Wet Dream (m), Praise Kink, References to Grief (Mentions of Death of Reader's sister, Mentions of Tess and Sarah), Language

Wordcount: 12.6k

chapter 1 || chapter 10 || chapter 11 || masterlist

ao3 link

Being friends with Joel Miller definitely took some getting used to.

It wasn’t like a whole lot changed in your relationship. He didn’t suddenly warm up to you and tell you his entire life story along with all his hopes and dreams, and you didn’t tell him yours.

No, the shift between you was subtle. Like most developments in your relationship, you didn’t acknowledge it with words. Joel was still grumpy, and you were still bitter, but you were more content to be those things together.

In a way, being friends with Joel Miller was somehow more shocking than the idea of fucking him. But the sex didn’t stop, even with the slightly awkward adjustments you made to accommodate your budding friendship with the surly survivor.

If anything, the sex actually increased in frequency. It was a way for you to seek each other out, to spend time in each other’s company as you both still tried to figure out what this friendship meant. Instead of one of you rushing back out into the night after fucking, you’d sit together for a bit to drink whiskey or coffee in comfortable silence. 

And over the days that passed, you quickly lost track of how many drinks you owed each other.

You still made no move to break your rules. In light of your relationship shift into an actual friendship, it actually seemed like you both held onto those rules even tighter. Life had clearly not been kind to either of you, and that lingering pain that it left on the scars of your souls made it difficult to talk about anything deeper than a shallow topic.

So while you and Joel would sometimes share a word or two about developments in Jackson or frustrations on patrol, you both steered away from the harder topics. Neither of you ever directly mentioned this newfound friendship, or the similar bruises life had left you both with, the matching wounds that seemed to draw you together.

You didn’t mind not talking about it, and you were sure he didn’t care either. The company was nice, and you were a bit less lonely because of it. 

That was enough.

“What do you think?”

You looked up at the gentle words, and you smiled at Maria’s questioning gaze from where she sat next to you. Afternoon light filtered through the windows of the kitchen as she sipped from the mug of tea in her hands, a similar mug in your own hands, though yours was held awkwardly with the splint still on your wrist.

“It’s good.” You nodded, looking back down at your drink, swirling the russet-colored liquid around. “Must’ve been hell to grow it.”

Maria laughed, tapping a finger against her mug as she assented with a slight nod.

“It took time,” she admitted, placing the mug down on the low center counter you were sitting at. “I’m trying to bring more familiar comfort into Jackson—even if it takes a little time, and more than a little hard work.”

Your gaze softens as you watch the woman speak. Maria always talked of Jackson with so much passion. It was easy to tell how much she loved the community; how dedicated she was to not only keep it functional, but to make it a home for the people who lived here.

“You’re doing amazing, Maria,” you said softly, smiling at her even as she gave you a familiar look that said not to push the flattery. “I’m being honest. You do more than enough for this town.”

“Alright,” Maria sighed as she leaned back in her seat, stretching her arms across her chest. “I didn’t invite you here to inflate my ego.”

“No,” you said slowly as you jerked your head towards the stairs, leading to the second floor where you could hear a crying baby that you knew Tommy must be trying to calm down. “You invited me so you wouldn’t go crazy.”

Maria laughed quietly, shaking her head even as you saw how tired she was from the bags under her eyes.

“She’s amazing,” she whispered fondly, gazing towards where she knew her husband and child were. “I love her so much.”

“Of course you do.” You set your own mug down, leaning forward and trying to catch her gaze. “But you’re allowed to be tired, Maria. Taking care of a baby is not easy work. Add running a settlement on top of that, and you have to be exhausted.”

She sighed, pushing her dark hair back over her shoulder as she glanced back at you.

“Maybe you’re right,” she admitted slowly, though she quickly added as she saw your slow grin, “Maybe! Don’t let it go to your head.”

“My head can’t possibly get any bigger,” you joked, and the two of you laughed amiably as the crying of the baby upstairs slowly came to a stop.

You picked your mug back up, taking another sip and just enjoying the simplicity of a quiet moment spent with a friend, when Maria spoke up again.

“You haven’t seen her much, have you?”

Glancing up, you saw Maria watching you curiously. You shook your head, glancing back down at your cup as you swallowed.

“Just when she was born, really.” Your voice was quiet with the words, thoughts pensive as you tapped a rhythm out against the side of your mug.

“Is there a reason for that?” Maria’s words were no less kind, but you saw that familiar look of analysis on her face when you looked up at her now. “Not a big fan of kids?”

“Kids are fine.” You shrugged, wrapping both your hands around your mug now, trying to distract yourself by absorbing the heat from the ceramic into your skin. “Just…”

You sighed, shoulders hunching forward as your eyes closed, and an old memory played on the inside of your eyelids; like a film reel stuck on repeat that you couldn’t stop watching, even though it never changed.

A dirty basement, the door locked and barricaded. “Just in case,” Dad had said. Sitting anxiously in the corner, wincing at every sound of pain, every cry that Mom made. Then a new cry. Turning, a small form in her arms; too small, too fragile. Dad says to come closer, Mom is crying again, but this time it’s happy. The eyes that open to gaze up at you are bright.

Your eyes opened, blinking as you brought yourself back to the present.

Shrugging again, you refused to meet Maria’s curious, questioning gaze and distracted yourself by drinking more of the tea.

“It’s nothing. I do think Jackson needs to invest in some trades for more coffee, though,” you deflected from your emotions with dry humor as you usually did, and Maria sighed with a roll of her eyes, but she didn't press you further.

Footsteps echoed down the stairs, and you turned when you felt a familiar, friendly clap on your shoulder, even as using his arm that was still healing from a bullet wound made him wince.

“Hey, didn’t know you were coming,” Tommy said, smiling fondly down at you before moving over to his wife, leaning down to meet her lips in a quick kiss of greeting.

“You know me,” you drew the words out as you stood with a stretch. “I like to keep you on your toes. Keeps those old man reflexes sharp.”

“Fuck you,” Tommy says brightly without any malice, and Maria smacks him in the stomach with the back of her hand when he moves to stand beside her, leaning against the back of her chair. 

You and Tommy laugh, and Maria rolls her eyes with a bemused shake of her head.

“Tell your friend to spend some time with her goddaughter,” Maria teased, and you shoot her a half-hearted glare as Tommy begins to usher you out of the room.

“Betrayal,” you mouth the word towards her, before giving in and turning to head up the stairs with Tommy to the nursery.

Peaceful quiet had fallen on the second floor of the house as Hope’s crying had stopped before Tommy had come down to collect you. When you reached the top of the staircase, you paused, watching Tommy’s back as he walked ahead of you.

It hadn't taken long for Tommy to seek you out after your argument in the clinic. In fact, you were sure that the only thing that had kept him from coming to you right away was being confined to a hospital bed.

After a few days of pacing back and forth across your empty house—your rooms feeling a bit less suffocating the few times Joel had come to scold you into taking care of your injuries—Tommy came knocking, and you let him in without a second thought.

Had he been out of line? Yes, but you had had your fair share of those moments as well. You knew the words had come out of a place of worry, desperation fueled by love that you would never speak of having for one another, and you couldn’t find it in your cold heart to be mad at him for what he had said.

It didn’t stop him from apologizing upwards of five times as you both sat on your couch, but you let him ramble on until he had nothing left to say. In the silence that followed, you shifted closer to Tommy without a word, dropping your head onto his shoulder as he sighed and rested his head on top of yours.

Neither of you said anything, because you didn’t know what you could say that would heal this wound of yours; one that had been festering for years, the very reason you had left the Fireflies and followed Tommy all the way to Jackson.

Tommy was your rock, a solid foundation to rest your weary feet upon that you would have fallen through a hole in the earth without. He kept you standing, kept you going, even as you continued to hold your pain deep within your heart.

Part of your brain whispered that your reliance on the pain was self-sabotage; a result of unspeakable guilt, the need to punish yourself for the choices you made that had led you here. Led you to a life without her. 

Another part of you, a quieter part that hurt too much to listen to, told you that you clutched this grief in ugly, bleeding claws because it was all you had left of her. That voice was somehow crueler, preying on a deep-seated fear that if you forgot the pain, you would forget her. That her death would mean nothing, and despite your cold cynicism that her absence had left you with, you couldn’t let that be true.

Tommy had held your hand in that moment, his grip tight in a rare moment of physical affection between you, and you realized your hypothesis in the clinic had been right. He was holding you to him so you wouldn’t slip through his fingers, clutching you so tightly to him at times that it was almost suffocating.

You couldn’t blame him, because you could feel yourself slipping, and his hands were what kept you steady most of the time. Tommy and Dina were your anchors.

And now—

“You good?”

You jumped, pulled suddenly from your thoughts at Tommy’s words. He was looking back at you with confusion and slight concern, and a smile slipped easily onto your face as you walked towards him.

“Yeah, ‘course,” you brushed his worry away as your smile didn’t falter. Tommy watched you for a little while longer, but opted not to say anything as he turned to head further down the hall.

“If you say so,” he muttered, probably more to himself than to you, but you arched an eyebrow at him anyway.

“I do say so,” you replied smoothly, and he huffed a quiet sigh, but didn’t press you on his doubt at your words—probably still harboring some guilt for his blowup in the clinic.

Tommy walked through the open door into the nursery, and you followed close behind, your mouth opening to say something else that you quickly forgot about when you saw that somebody else was already in the nursery.

It was almost startling, how quickly you recognized Joel the moment you saw him, even with his back turned and his head bent down. Your feet froze in the doorway, even as Tommy walked further into the room to pat his brother’s shoulder affectionately.

Joel looked up and over at Tommy’s bright smile, before glancing back over his shoulder at you, as if he could recognize you were there just by your eyes on him alone. The thought made you shift in the doorway, a part of you wanting to flee even after you had taken the step forward to call what was between you a friendship, at least through actions if not words.

“Well, now that you’re both here,” Tommy drawled casually, his hand falling from Joel’s shoulder as he moved back out of the room, sliding around where you still loitered in the doorway as he sent a grin back towards the two of you, “get to godparenting!”

You glanced back towards Joel at the words as he turned, noticing that your goddaughter in question was sleeping peacefully in his arms.

Uncertainty rattled you as you shifted again, turning back to watch Tommy’s retreating form as your hesitation became impossible to hide.

“Uh, what does godparenting entail, exactly?” you called out as you leaned out of the doorway, even as Tommy began to descend back down the stairs with a chuckle. “I’ve never been one before. Can you write me a list of detailed instructions so I can review and get back to you?”

But your deflection of humor was ignored as Tommy disappeared down the steps to the landing below, and you sighed as your hand fell away from where you had leaned out of the doorway.

You stayed that way for a moment, facing towards the hallway as you flexed the hand not trapped in a splint, before you heard the soft sounds of Hope’s babbling as she woke back up, and you finally turned back around towards the fate Tommy had set you up with.

Joel held his baby niece carefully, her head supported in his large hand as he gently bounced her, the action seeming to be almost subconscious as you tilted your head and watched him. 

You had seen this man slaughter large groups of hunters and Infected, mercilessly delivering death to dozens without judgment, but you saw no hint of that Joel across from you now. 

It was strange how…natural he looked, standing there with a child held securely in his arms, his movements not marred with any hesitation as he rocked her gently, his voice coming out in a smooth murmur when Hope started to fuss.

You couldn’t help but trace your eyes down his bare arms, able to appreciate the toned muscles as they flexed when he shifted the baby that he was soothing. When you realized you were staring for longer than you would like, you cleared your throat and glanced away, though apparently the sound drew his attention to you.

The feeling of his gaze on your face was nearly impossible to ignore, but you kept your attention stubbornly focused on the pale yellow walls you had painted with Tommy a few months before Hope’s arrival. Evidence of your involvement was all around the room, in the furniture you had helped to build and the decorations you had put up with Maria, but you still kept yourself from looking at your godchild or fellow godparent as your arms crossed across your chest.

After a long moment where the weight of his presence in the room became too much to ignore, you glanced back at him, biting back a sigh when his own gaze flashed from you back down to Hope in the same instant.

“I didn’t know you were here,” you found yourself murmuring, anxiously trying to scratch at an itch buried underneath your wrist splint, and sighing when you couldn’t reach it. “If I knew, I wouldn’t have—”

You broke off, because what were you about to say? That you wouldn’t have shown up at Maria’s request just because Joel was in the same building?

Joel stiffened under the implication that weighed in the air, and he shrugged one shoulder as he continued to gently rock Hope to hopefully settle the fussing child. “We don’t always have to—”

This time Joel was the one to cut himself off, and you arched an eyebrow in silent question as he glanced from the baby back up to you. He sighed, his bunched up shoulders deflating slightly as he looked back down at Hope with a slight frown that was almost imperceptible.

“We don’t have to avoid each other all the time,” Joel finally finished quietly, and you froze up under the sentiment as your eyes darted away again, avoiding his gaze before it could lock on yours.

While you had been settling into this newfound friendship in private, you both were unsure how to translate that into your everyday life. Tommy would no doubt be overjoyed to finally see actual progress in your relationship with his brother, but the thought of spending time in Joel’s presence out in the light of day almost unsettled you. It felt…

You didn’t actually have the words to describe exactly how it felt. It was difficult enough finding your footing around Joel when the ground beneath the two of you was quicksand, and you were sinking further into an undeniable gravity to be a part of his life the more you struggled to pull yourself away.

So even though the ache in your bones screamed at you to tear yourself away, you swallowed down your own doubt, steeling yourself against your pride as you turned back to face Joel’s guarded gaze head on.

Your mouth opened to speak, but any eloquent words completely failed you in the moment as you found yourself trapped in the depth of his brown eyes. There were still so many safeguards between you, so many walls that you couldn’t break through, even as you saw the hint of something behind all of them, a light beckoning you forward through the inescapable darkness ahead of you.

At the sight of it, your jaw snapped shut, your eyes darting down to your feet as you shifted awkwardly in the doorway.

“Yeah,” you finally muttered, wincing at your measly, one word response to his unexpected offer at another step forward in your friendship.

Joel didn’t complain though. His attention was pulled back to Hope as she babbled again, the sound happier and less fussy this time, and he murmured something back to her that you didn’t catch before his nod towards the baby in his arms brought your attention back to him.

“Did you want to hold her?”

You shifted away subconsciously, now standing halfway out the doorway as you shook your head at the offer. Joel frowned at your immediate cowering from the innocent gesture, and you tried to assuage his observation by lifting your healing wrist that was still in a cast, using it as an excuse to say no.

He nodded at your wordless gesture, even as the questioning in his eyes didn’t completely disappear. When Hope’s small, chubby hand lifted into the air, Joel glanced down at its waving with a small, soft smile before looking back up at you.

The smile didn’t immediately fade from his face as his eyes locked with yours, and your heart thudded against your chest at the sight of it.

“You still have a hand, don’t you?”

You arched an eyebrow at the words, your lips tilting up in a smirk as you couldn’t help but reply cheekily, “Oh, you know I do.”

Joel sighed, shooting you a disapproving look at your innuendo before he nodded towards Hope’s little hand that was still waving through the air. When you realized what he was referring to you paused, plagued by hesitation as you stared at the small form in Joel’s arms.

A memory pressed forward in your subconscious, and you steeled yourself against it, shoving it back as your eyes darted back up to Joel’s questioning gaze. You cleared your throat before pushing yourself a few steps forward, not wanting to tip him off that anything was wrong more than you already had.

When you came to a stop in front of him, looking down at the baby in his arms, the sight of eyes as dark as Maria’s and a nose that vaguely looked like the shape of Tommy’s made you soften. Your hand lifted subconsciously, holding your finger out towards her, and you couldn’t help but smile softly as her smaller fingers wrapped around it in a tight grip.

For a moment, the persistent doubts that haunted your every step disappeared. The only thing you could see was the precious new life in front of you, holding on to you tightly, and you knew you would do whatever it takes to protect that.

A sense of familiarity for the situation permeated your subconscious, and you struggled to push it back as you focused on the tiny hand holding on to you. Somewhere in your mind, you realized that Joel was right; this was your family. And that was enough to continue to fight for.

At the thought, you looked back up, seeing Joel’s attention was on you before it shifted down to Hope when you caught his gaze. Neither of you said anything, and when you looked back down, you saw different eyes looking up at you—eyes brighter than the stars, and you sucked in a sharp breath as you instinctively took a step back.

Your eyes blinked rapidly as you looked away, trying to back up further, but the grip around your finger stopped you. An old ache in your chest filled up, the gaping hole in your heart making itself well-known, and your breathing sped up as panic began to flood your mind.

Another hand wrapped around your finger, stopping your desperate plotting to escape and pulling your attention back to what was in front of you.

Joel gently tugged Hope’s hand off of your finger, letting her grab his finger instead as he pulled away from you. 

Hope, you reminded yourself. This was Hope, not someone else.

Not her.

But that ache didn’t ease, and your arms crossed tightly over your chest, as if you could physically protect yourself from the pain that radiated from inside your very soul. You shifted awkwardly, avoiding looking at Joel, even as you didn’t feel his gaze on you at that moment.

When you finally gave in and looked back, you saw the stoic man’s face softened in a way that you had never seen before, his gaze fixed on the baby girl who was clutching his finger tightly. The sight made you pause in your downward spiral of emotions, your head tilting as you observed the man who, even though you now called him a friend, you realized that you still barely knew.

It struck you again, how Joel holding a child gently in his arms like this looked so normal. The way he held her snugly to his chest and supported her head in his large palm was like he was used to this. 

Like he had done it before.

Joel glanced back up at you then, as if he could sense your silent observation, and you leaned against the wall as you decided to take the risk and try to satisfy your curiosity.

“Didn’t think you’d be the type to like kids, Miller,” you remarked casually, and he huffed out a quiet laugh as he looked back down at Hope at the comment that, while still ripe with your usual snark, held no malice or judgment to it.

“When it’s family, I do,” he murmured, turning back to the crib behind him and carefully laying Hope down when she fell back asleep. “Any other kids are annoying as shit.”

You laughed at the out-of-pocket remark, but you couldn’t find yourself disagreeing as Joel turned back to face you, an eyebrow arched at the sound of your laughter.

“Did that include Ellie, when you first met her?” you found yourself asking, not taking the time to think over the question, and you winced as you expected Joel to shut down at the topic.

Instead, you were surprised when the man sighed, resting a hand on the edge of the crib as he gave a short nod.

“Oh yeah,” he muttered, a look of faint, fond amusement crossing his face; something you had never seen on him before, and you couldn’t help but lean forward in curiosity as he continued, “She was a pain in the ass, that’s for sure. Found myself wondering what the fuck I was doing a lot in the beginning, there.”

“What were you doing?” you asked, unable to stop asking questions now that Joel was actually answering them. He looked at you blankly this time though, and you hesitated before clarifying, “I mean, why did you do it? If you were so opposed to it.”

Joel stiffened, a look you couldn’t place passing over his face, and you realized that maybe you had pressed too far, when he surprised you by answering again, “I made a promise to someone.”

You paused, watching as Joel’s expression darkened as you guessed a memory he didn’t want to recall clawed its way out to the forefront of his mind anyway. Somehow, you couldn’t imagine that Joel had ever been any less hardened than he is now—maybe twenty years ago, before the world came crashing down, but certainly not in recent years.

So the admission that there had been someone important enough for him to make a promise to them made you reconsider the man for a moment. Surely it wasn’t Tommy—you knew they hadn’t been in frequent contact for years, other than the weekly radio messages that Maria eventually put a stop to.

It made a lot of sense, in hindsight; Joel wasn’t the type of man to do anything out of the kindness of his heart—if he even had any of that left. The only way you could imagine Joel embarking on a journey to take a teenage girl across a desolate country was if it was out of obligation to someone, even though his heart had obviously softened to Ellie somewhere along the way.

You couldn’t imagine Joel was the type of man to take promises lightly, and you found yourself saying quietly, “Must’ve been someone important, to do that for them.”

Joel’s muscles bunched up tightly from where he crossed his arms over his chest, his gaze averted from you as he mumbled, “Yeah.”

Taking the hint that this was no longer a topic up for discussion, you backed away from the conversation, glancing away from the survivor who you now felt a bit more curious about than before. Given his familiarity with holding a child, and the fact that there had been somebody in his life recently enough to earn his devotion…it made you wonder just who Joel Miller was, under that hard exterior he showed the world that had no doubt fucked him over sideways more than once.

“What about you?”

The question made you look back up, seeing Joel was focused back on you, his body a bit less stiff as he redirected the question back towards you, “Never wanted a bundle of joy of your own?”

You barked out a laugh, shaking your head sharply as you sputtered out, “God, no.”

Joel raised an eyebrow at your visceral response, and you coughed awkwardly into your fist as you shifted your weight onto your other foot nervously, the new line of questioning catching you off-guard.

“I mean, there’s nothing wrong with kids,” you stumbled over the words, letting out a sigh as you leaned your head back against the wall and met Joel’s gaze. “I just—”

You cut yourself off, unable to find the words to describe how exactly you felt on the matter, even as you felt the reason as an ache deep within your bones. To be responsible for another life brought into this fucked up world—and to have to live on with the unspeakable grief if you weren’t enough to protect them…

It wasn’t something you could bear to do. 

Not again.

“In case you haven’t noticed, there isn’t a wide selection of eligible bachelors in Jackson,” you finally found your footing well enough to deflect with sarcasm, and Joel arched an eyebrow in bemusement at you when you shot a smirk his way. “That is, unless you wanted to stop pulling out, cowboy.”

“Jesus—”

Joel sputtered, his loud curse breaking itself off as he shook his head in disbelief at your lewd, unminced words. You snickered at his reaction, your expression making it obvious that you weren’t serious in the slightest, and that you had only said the words to catch him off-guard.

You had been successful, and Joel glared at you, even as his lips tilted up in the corner in a familiar smirk you only saw when you were partaking in one activity together.

“I don’t think you want that,” he muttered, and your own sly smirk curled up onto your lips at his low tone that you recognized well by now.

“Not for the higher risk of—well, you know,” you replied, gesturing towards the crib with a nod so Joel would know what you were alluding to, but his dark gaze was fixed on you solely now as you continued slowly, “but the act itself is…”

You bit your lip as Joel took slow steps towards you, a familiar heat spreading through you as he got closer. His eyes dragged down your body in a way that was almost languid, your heart skipping a beat at the connotation behind the dark look as his gaze locked with yours again.

“It’s tempting,” he murmured when he reached you, bracing his arm on the wall above your head as he leaned closer. Your breath hitched in your throat at the action, your gaze flickering over his face as it got closer to yours.

In the back of your mind, you remembered that you were in Tommy’s house, in broad daylight, and that you were much too close to Joel for comfort. You’d be fucked if you were caught like this, but you were distracted by the blood rushing through your head as Joel’s eyes became level with yours.

He was staring at you intently, and your lips parted to try and come up with some sultry, witty remark back, but the movement caught Joel’s attention with how close he was to you. His gaze flashed down to your lips, and you froze, unable to register anything else in the moment other than your heart suddenly thudding wildly in your chest.

You both remained frozen like that, Joel’s gaze lingering on your lips before it flashed back up to your eyes. A hint of something you couldn’t decipher was hidden in the brown depths of his gaze, and you leaned closer an inch to try and decode it when the heavy sound of footsteps coming up the stairs broke the moment.

Joel pushed himself away from you in the blink of an eye, leaving you reeling from the weight of whatever had settled between you before the atmosphere shattered. You remained leaning against the wall, staring at Joel in bewilderment as he turned his back to you, pacing back towards Hope’s crib as the steps echoed down the hallway towards you.

“How we doin’ in here, godparents?” Tommy asked as he popped his head through the doorway, his gaze flickering from Joel’s tense back to your stunned face from where you leaned against the wall next to the doorway.

You threw a mask over your face in an instant, smiling up at Tommy even as he hesitated, looking from you back to Joel as his brows furrowed under the tension in the air that you guessed hadn’t fully evaporated.

Fuck.

“Oh, we got some real quality bonding time in,” you drawled casually, patting Tommy’s shoulder as you moved past him through the doorway he still loitered in. “All three of us.”

You glanced back over your shoulder to where Joel was still facing away from you, unable to see his face at all as you wondered how true those words really were. 

Had you actually made progress with him?

What kind of progress?

And why did you care?

You tried to shake the thoughts out of your mind, knowing it would be useless to entertain them, but they still hung persistently in the back of your subconscious as you made your way back down the stairs. Tommy didn’t follow you, and you cast a concerned glance up towards the second floor landing before turning back around.

On your way towards the front door, you saw Maria leaning against the couch in the living room as you passed by the open archway leading into the room. You paused in your path to get out as quickly as you could, walking towards the woman as a smile flickered onto your face.

“She really is incredible, Maria,” you said softly, and the woman returned your smile with a look of adoration in her eyes at the mention of her daughter. You hedged for a moment before your gaze flickered to the shrine on the fireplace mantle behind her, and you steeled your nerves, your gaze becoming more serious as you added, “You know I’d do anything to protect her, right?”

Maria’s gaze softened, and she nodded gently as her hand came out to grab yours. She squeezed it gently, her eyes only kind and understanding as she said softly, “I know. That’s why we came to you and Joel. We know you’d both do whatever it takes.”

Surprise flickered across your face before you could stop it, but you relaxed, squeezing Maria’s hand gently before you dropped it.

“I’m just happy that you’re happy,” you said kindly, your words honest as you took a step back towards the door. “Both of you.”

Your hand was on the door handle, pulling it open halfway before Maria spoke again, her words echoing behind you, “You're allowed to be happy too, you know.”

Glancing back over at her, your brow furrowed in confusion, eyes questioning as Maria sighed at the look on your face before she added quietly, “Both of you.”

Your confusion only grew, glancing over her face to try and catch any hint of what she meant, when she glanced towards the staircase. You followed her gaze, hearing the deep voices engaged in conversation as they neared the steps, and your entire body tensed up as the implication of her words hit you.

It took only a few seconds for your mind to shut down, your heart closing off in the same instant as you hurried out the door and shut it behind you, locking any lingering thoughts on just what Maria meant back in the house as you walked away.

Joel sat at his kitchen table, eating dinner alone as his gaze flickered from his food up to the window every few seconds.

He had considered inviting Ellie to join him, but her light was off, so he didn’t want to bother her. Still, it didn’t stop him from glancing over every few seconds, a part of him hoping that her light would turn on so he could use it as an excuse to see how she was doing.

A sigh escaped him as her little home remained dark, and he glanced back down at his meal.

Joel hadn’t really felt lonely in years; he had become numb to being alone through Sarah dying and Tommy leaving. And those nights that were the worst, the ones where he did feel the ache of having nobody by his side, were the ones where he realized he wasn’t truly alone.

There hadn’t been much time to stop and think about Tess while taking Ellie across the country. Even when he had settled into Jackson, he tried not to let Tess cross his mind. But the conversation earlier today in Hope’s nursery had finally brought forth memories of his previous partner that he could no longer ignore.

Partner.

Joel mused over the word as he stabbed another bite of food, bringing it up to his lips as he finally let himself become lost in thought over the matter.

There was no doubt that Tess was his partner when it came to their work back in the Boston QZ. They had come to rely on each other through their jobs as smugglers, and as time passed, Joel realized that there was nobody he trusted more than her.

Then came the other side of their relationship. They had something physical, yes; but Joel knew it was more than that, even though he never said anything on the matter.

He also knew Tess’ feelings on their relationship, even as she never talked about it much. Joel was not proud of how he had shot her down or flat-out ignored her the times she had tried to speak on it, and eventually she had stopped trying, settling into the only affection he could give her; watching her back, and sleeping in her bed.

Joel sighed, dropping his fork onto his nearly empty plate as he thought about it now. He rested his forehead against his hand, regret washing over him in waves as he remembered the last words she had ever spoken to him.

I never ask you for anything, not to feel the way I felt—

His eyes shut, as if he could block the memories out by doing so. But they continued to barrage his mind, his head dropping into his hands as his guilt became unshakable.

Joel could picture her in his mind like he had just seen her yesterday; the way her hair fell past her shoulders, the sharp green of her eyes, her unshakable nature and the good heart she hid underneath a tough exterior.

He had never done right by her. She deserved better, and he always knew. Joel was sure she knew too—Tess was too clever, too self-assured to not know her own worth—and still, she had stuck beside him.

Until the bitter end.

Save who you can save.

His head lifted from his hands, looking back towards the garage at the edge of his yard as he became lost in thought.

Joel couldn’t save Sarah. He couldn’t save Tess. There were so many he couldn’t save, so many lives lost—so many lives taken by his own hands.

But he could save Ellie.

And he did.

And he would keep doing so, until his own bitter end.

Joel pushed himself to his feet, taking his dish to the sink to begin cleaning it off. In the midst of his task, his mind continued to wander, and he realized that Ellie wasn’t the only one he could still protect.

Being back in Jackson meant that Tommy was involved in Joel’s life again, along with his baby brother’s growing family. So while his protection obviously included Tommy, it also extended to Maria and Hope.

His niece—his goddaughter—already meant the world to him. While there was an ache deep in his chest at watching his brother live the life he had once had, Joel was happy to have a new addition to the Millers. 

And he may not tell anyone, but he loved those moments that he got to spend with the baby; it reminded him of a time where he had allowed himself to be softer, kinder, before he had lost everything.

Have you ever lost everything?

Joel paused, watching the water run down the sink before he turned off the faucet with a sigh. He turned to pick up a dish rag to dry the plate, unable to stop the new direction his thoughts took a turn to.

Her past was none of his business. He knew this well, but it didn’t stop him from wondering.

A lot of things had come together from what he had seen and heard just from being around her—a child’s drawing, a name Tommy had almost spoken, a look of fear in her eyes just from being close to a baby—but he would never ask for confirmation of his theories.

No, there wasn’t much Joel could do for her at all, even as he could see her pain, though she hid it well. Even as their new…friendship, seemed to blossom.

The thought made him sigh as he dropped the rag, setting the plate in the dish rack to dry before turning to exit the kitchen.

Joel had never been very good at the whole friend thing, even before the end of the world. He was never too concerned about other people, or curious enough to seek out friendship with strangers. He had everything he needed in his family—why would he need anybody else?

But even though the woman was still basically a stranger, she was also family now. And perhaps Tommy’s words in the hospital had hit a bit too close to home for Joel to stand by and do nothing.

She’ll struggle alone, and nobody will know.

That had been Joel.

Hell, that was still Joel, even now. And realizing that she was the same…

Joel didn’t quite understand it, but it made a part of him ache. A part that wanted to include her on that short list of people who he would save.

Even as another part of him said that she was already on that list. He knew it in the back of his mind, and had known it since he had rushed to rescue her the moment he had heard she was in danger.

There had been no time to think about it then, and he still tried not to think about it too hard now. So many things were piling in the back of his mind, so much to unpack, but Joel was content to let it linger in the background as he went about his day-to-day life.

A life that included seeking her out for pleasure at night, but tonight Joel turned towards his staircase, even as thoughts of her plagued his mind while he tried to get ready for bed.

Thoughts of her hands on his neck, of her fingers winding through his hair, lingered in his mind as he pulled off his shirt.

Recollections of her lips on his skin, the sweet bite of her teeth on his collarbone as he played with her, haunted him as he showered.

Memories of the hot, tight walls of her cunt gripping his dick as he thrusted into her played on the edges of his conscious mind as he tossed and turned in bed, fighting the urge to palm his hardening erection or get back up to go find her as he tried to rest.

Eventually, he was able to drift off into the blissful embrace of sleep, but his dreams were no easier on him.

His unconscious mind taunted him with the image of her; her legs spread wide for him, pussy dripping wet as those sweet moans left her mouth for only him to hear. In his dreams, he tasted her, his tongue playing with her mercilessly until she came against his mouth, again, and again, and again.

When Joel jerked awake, he was painfully hard, and he turned over to groan into his pillow as his hips began to roll against his mattress, seeking friction against his erection in a haze of still being half-asleep.

The sensation wasn’t enough, and Joel turned onto his back, reaching his hand down to palm himself through his sleep pants. In the absence of her presence, Joel let himself moan as loud as he wanted to, the sounds of his pleasure long and low as they left his mouth while he continued to get off just at the thought of her.

After a moment of palming himself faster, when the images of his dream kept flashing through his mind—the questions of what she would taste like, of how she would look when she came from his tongue alone, remaining unanswered—Joel pushed himself up with a groan.

“Fuck,” he muttered, throwing the sheets off to stand, rushing through getting undressed so he could pull his clothes from the day back on again.

Guess he was seeking her out tonight, after all.

A groan escaped your throat as you turned over in your bed, pushing the blankets off yourself as the sound of knocking on your door woke you from your sleep. You swing your legs over the side of the bed, sighing as you rubbed at your tired eyes before pushing yourself to your feet.

Stumbling out into your hallway, you spare a moment to flick the lights on before reaching your front door, swinging it open to reveal just who you thought was knocking so late.

Joel was about to push himself off from where he was leaning against the doorway before he paused, his gaze flickering over your half-asleep form with a frown.

“I didn’t realize you were asleep,” he muttered, shifting to lean away from you as you blinked up at him. “I can leave—”

“Hey,” you interrupted him, your voice thick with sleep as you reached out to grab his hand by instinct when he started to walk backwards.

Joel paused, his entire body tensing up as his gaze flashed to where your grip was on his hand, and your gaze followed his slowly, your mind still sleep-addled until you realized what you were doing.

You dropped his hand as if it had burned you, taking a step back to widen the distance between you as you cleared your throat awkwardly. One of your shoulders lifted in a shrug, feeling wide awake now as you turned to walk back down the hallway.

“It’s fine,” you muffled a yawn with the nonchalant words, waving him in to follow you even as you didn’t look back at him. “Who even needs sleep, anyway?”

A snort sounded behind you, and you looked back over your shoulder at Joel, your brow arched in surprise at the sound even as he avoided your gaze.

“You do,” he replied in a tone you had heard from him before, one that said he didn’t want to hear an argument, and you sighed as you walked into your kitchen with him following close behind. “You’re still healing.”

You waved a hand to dismiss the thought after you flicked your kitchen lights on.

“Hardly,” you muttered, glancing back to see Joel’s face was unamused as he leaned against your counter, crossing his arms over his chest as you grabbed your kettle to fill it up with water from your sink. “What? It’s been a month, I’m fine.”

Joel sent a pointed look at the splint on your wrist, and you rolled your eyes as you turned away from him, setting the kettle onto your stove as you reached for the matches you kept nearby. You paused, looking between the matches in one hand and your bound wrist with the other, before looking back at Joel’s smug look with dissatisfaction when you realized his point had been proven.

“Shut the fuck up,” you muttered as you tossed the matchbox to him, which he caught easily as he quirked an eyebrow at your biting tone.

“I didn’t say anything,” he replied casually as he pushed himself off the counter to walk up next to you, easily striking the match and setting a flame under the kettle as you scoffed.

“Your face did,” you said as you rolled your eyes when he looked back at you, his lips pursing to blow out the match with his gaze locked on yours. Something about the action lit another fire inside of you, and you struggled to look away from him this time as you added, “It’s that stupid, smug Miller look.”

Joel chuckled at that, and you couldn’t resist looking back at him, your slight annoyance fading at the unfamiliar sound you had only heard a few times before, but it still shook you every time you heard it.

“Well, that’s not very nice,” he hummed as he took a step closer to you, and you huffed out a laugh as you arched an eyebrow at the palpable shift in the air when he walked towards you.

“Which falls in line with your type,” you replied in a low tone, enjoying how Joel’s eyes darkened as he stopped in front of you.

His hands found your hips, drawing you closer to him as his head dipped down so his mouth was at your ear.

“Mm, I suppose it does,” Joel murmured as his hands slipped behind you, one sliding down to rest over your ass as the other slid up to the small of your back. 

He pressed you closer to him as that familiar heat began to build between you. Your face was inches away from his neck, your breath fanning against his skin every time you exhaled, and Joel’s hand gripped your ass through the thin fabric of your pajama shorts. 

You let the tension build for a moment, taunting him with your closeness without making a move to satisfy the familiar urge that crept up whenever you were together like this.

His other hand on your back pressed you fully against him, and you hummed as your mouth, still just inches away from the curve of his strong neck, opened to speak in a low tone, “The tea.”

Joel’s hand continued to slide up your back, pushing you further against him as his head dipped down towards your neck, and you could feel the erection growing in his jeans as he mumbled, “Hm?”

Your hands found his chest, sliding up to rest on his shoulders as you leaned back, meeting his lust-filled gaze with a smirk on your lips.

“The tea,” you repeated, gesturing towards the kettle with a nod, and Joel blinked as he looked back at it, only now hearing as it began to whistle.

He huffed, letting his hands fall from you begrudgingly as you walked over to the stove with a chuckle.

“You’re a tease,” he murmured as he watched you go, and you could feel his eyes lingering on your ass as you bent down to blow the flame out on the stovetop before you looked back at him with a wider smirk.

“And?” your voice was as teasing as he accused you of being as you raised an eyebrow, and Joel shook his head as he glanced away from you.

You pulled out a couple of mugs and the tin of tea Maria had given to you, and after a moment of quiet when you let the tea steep, you heard Joel speak up behind you.

“Tea?” he asked, a hint of distaste in his voice, and you turned around to see he had walked up behind where you were facing the counter.

His hands came to rest on either side of you, caging you in, and you could almost laugh at the familiarity of the situation before you turned back towards the steaming mugs.

“Yeah, it’s a new crop in the greenhouse. Maria’s pretty proud of it.” You look back at him, looking over the slight crinkle of his nose with amusement as you asked, “Why? Not a fan of tea?”

“I prefer coffee, is all,” he muttered, and you couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head as you busied yourself with straining the tea leaves and preparing your cup the way you liked it.

“Me too, but I haven’t been able to get my hands on any in weeks.” An eyebrow raised in question as you picked up your mug, turning around to face him directly. “You?”

Joel shook his head, reaching around you to grab the other mug. He made no comment about the moose engraving on it, even as his lips twitched slightly as he answered, “Me neither.”

He took a sip of the drink, his face contorting briefly into a grimace before he quickly neutralized his expression, and you couldn’t help but laugh again. Joel looked back at you again at the sound, his lips twitching again, but this time they actually did curl up into a fragment of a smile before he took another sip of his tea.

“Maria’s proud of this?” he asked, his tone almost akin to joking, and you shook your head with another chuckle as you tried to hide a small smile behind a sip of your own drink.

“Shut up, you old asshole,” you sassed back, his smirk growing as yours did when you added, “Not everybody likes their drinks to be as bitter as them.”

“Well goddamn,” he drawled, his deep Southern drawl making the harsh curse sound smoother than it should, his palm sliding further back on the counter as he leaned down towards you. “You got me there, don’t you?”  

Joel’s eyes darted between yours, and a different kind of tension that was slowly becoming familiar coiled in your body again, even as you still couldn’t name it. Still, it made your heart leap into your throat, your grip tightening on your mug before you put it down on the counter beside you.

Your hands found his shirt, fingers curling around the soft, dark-blue fabric as you leaned up to whisper in his ear to try and turn the situation into one you were more familiar with, one with only the heat of desire, “Somehow, I get the feeling that you came here for something else tonight, cowboy.”

Joel hummed, placing his own mug down behind you before his hand came to rest between your shoulder blades. He pulled you against him, his erection pressing against your thigh as he bent down to press his mouth to your neck and murmured against it, “There is something that I think would taste better than this.”

Your eyes widened, but you had no time to think as Joel’s arms wrapped around your waist and easily lifted you off the ground. He turned, stepping towards your small dining table as your legs wrapped around his waist by instinct, holding onto his shoulders as he lowered you on top of it.

He didn’t say anything about the surprise on your face—you didn’t even think he noticed it, as he became focused on pulling your shorts and panties down enough so that he had access to your pussy. Joel’s gaze darkened once you were exposed to him, licking his lips as you shivered from pleasure at the sight of it.

“I tried to stay away tonight,” he whispered hoarsely as he knelt down between your legs, and your heart pounded in your chest as you watched him with wide eyes as the night was going in a direction you hadn’t dared to go in with Joel before. “I really tried but, fuck, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.”

He pulled your shorts down the rest of the way, the fabric landing on the floor to be forgotten as he tugged you closer to the edge of the table. Joel glanced back up at your face, taking in your shock for the first time, and he blinked a few times, the lust clearing partially from his face as hesitation crossed his features.

“I—we don’t have to,” he muttered, his hands falling away from where they had been inching towards your thighs. “We can just—”

“Please,” you found yourself begging as he began to push himself up, not able to bear the thought of him pulling away now that he had been so close to going down on you. You licked your lips as Joel’s eyes met yours again, your legs spreading further for him, and his gaze darkened with lust again as it darted back down to your pussy. “Please, Joel, eat me out—”

You were barely able to get the words out before Joel was back on his knees, his hand wrapping around your uninjured thigh, his other hand on the knee of your injured leg to keep you spread for him as his face disappeared between your legs.

When his tongue dragged over your folds, you gasped, your head tilting back against the table as the sensation shook you to your core. Joel licked you slowly, as if he was exploring your pussy with his tongue, mapping you out as you reached down to tangle your hand in his hair by instinct.

A grunt left his mouth from where it was pressed against you as you grabbed his dark curls, and your hips jerked forward as the vibration of his voice was so temptingly close to where you wanted it to be. Joel seemed to take the cue as you tugged at his hair, his mouth lifting to find your clit, licking over it once before sucking it into his mouth at the wanton moan that left your lips at the sensation.

“Fucking hell, Joel,” you whispered, your back arching as you tried to roll your hips up towards his mouth, but Joel kept you pressed down against the table easily, even with just one hand pressed to your thigh. “God, that feels good.”

Joel hummed around your clit, the vibrations along with his tongue flicking over it making you whimper from the steady climb of pleasure his mouth was building you towards. Just the feeling of your clit completely enveloped by his warm mouth was enough to make your mind spin, grabbing his hair tighter as you pushed his face further between your legs.

“Fuck, how long have you known how to eat a woman out?” you muttered more to yourself than him, but the sound of his chuckle vibrating against your sensitive bundle of nerves as he continued to flick his tongue up and down over it at a rapid pace made you moan with abandon.

You still tried to roll your hips to get impossibly closer to his mouth working on you, and Joel replied by pulling away momentarily just so he could hook your legs over his shoulders, tugging you closer before he descended upon you again. His tongue was flat against your clit now, rubbing it from side to side in a motion he knew drove you crazy, and it didn’t take long before he finally pulled an orgasm from you.

A loud moan left your open mouth as your thighs tightened around his face, your chest rising and falling rapidly as Joel moaned against your clit, the sensation prolonging the waves of pleasure that he pulled from you.

You groaned once you came down from your high, your hand falling from his hair to try and push yourself up, but Joel didn’t stop. While his tongue had slowed down during your orgasm, it began to speed up again, and your panting returned as you fell back against the table, back arching as he shoved his face further against you.

“Fuck, Joel,” you moaned, mouth falling open as he didn’t let up the rapid flicking of his tongue.

Every now and then, he would suckle on the swollen bundle of nerves, murmuring incoherent noises around it when he did, and you knew then he had picked up on how the vibrations of his voice while he was eating you out was making you cum faster.

You were almost startled by how fast he could pick up on your body cues, sensing what gave you the most pleasure, before you were distracted by his fingers lightly dancing over the smaller bandage over the healing stab wound on your thigh. Your breath caught in your throat at the gentleness of his touch that contrasted the lewd, wet sucking noise his mouth was making around your clit.

“Joel,” you moaned again, not able to think twice about how you were saying his name more than you ever have during sex in the past, too distracted, too lost in how good he was making you feel. You gasped his name again as your pussy clenched and relaxed in another orgasm that overtook your entire body.

His mouth finally left your clit, his tongue dragging down along your folds to dip inside your entrance, and you whined loudly as Joel began to lap at the evidence of your release as it coated your folds.

“Holy—” your words cut off, unable to even speak as Joel’s hand on your thigh wrapped around your waist, slipping under your shirt to slide up your back, and you groaned at the feeling of his rough fingertips on your bare skin.

Somehow, you found the strength to place your free palm against the table, pushing yourself up so you could finally get a glimpse of Joel as he refused to let up the pace.

And, fuck, you wouldn’t forget that sight for as long as you lived.

Joel’s face between your thighs, his dark brow furrowed in concentration as he focused on the task of eating you out, his graying curls a mess from where you had been grabbing them, was nearly enough to make you orgasm a third time. A breathless moan escaped you as you watched him thrust his tongue in and out of your entrance, his eyes flashing up towards yours at the sound and, holy fuck, you didn’t think it could get any better, but it did.

His gaze locked with yours, his eyes darkened with only the most sinful desires, and you moaned again as you resisted the urge to tangle your only free hand in his hair, not wanting to lay back down and miss the sight of Joel Miller’s face between your legs, his facial hair damp with your release as he continued to fuck you with his tongue.

“Oh, fuck. Joel, I—” you broke off, your chest heaving with heavy pants as your thighs began to shake from another approaching high. “I don’t think I—”

His hand on your back moved to wrap around your side, his nails digging into your skin as you bit your lip to hold back another moan. Joel’s eyes didn’t move from yours, his intent clear even as he didn’t remove his mouth from you, instead moving his other hand to your clit to stimulate the nerves while his tongue kept thrusting in and out of you.

He wanted you to cum again—he knew you could cum again, that he could pull another orgasm out of you, and you were helpless to resist, but there was no part of you that wanted to do anything but let him have his way with you, anyway.

Your eyes remain locked with Joel’s as you orgasmed this time, your thighs shaking and clenching around his face as you cried out from the intense pleasure he had pulled from you for a third time that night. There was a shift in his eyes, the look of intense satisfaction on his face before his eyes fluttered closed, shoving his tongue as deep inside of you as he could to catch any and all of your release.

Eyes drifting closed, you let your head finally fall back against the table again, your muscles relaxing as Joel drank you in as much as he could before he pulled back with a gasp.

“Fuck, you taste…” he groaned, his hands stroking your trembling thighs, and you moaned softly as he continued to murmur to himself, “So good. You’re so good, darling.”

You slowly blinked your eyes open to watch him as he stood, his hands coming to rest on either side of you as he leaned over you to look down into your eyes. The muscles in his arms were coiled tightly beside you, and you nodded at the question in his eyes before spreading your shaking legs further as much as you could.

“Come on,” you murmured, knowing what he wanted, and you were more than okay giving it to him after how amazing he had just made you feel.

Joel sighed in relief, his hands coming down to fumble with his belt, pulling it from his jeans before unbuttoning them and shoving them down with his boxers. He stepped closer to you, his movements shaky with an eagerness you had never witnessed from him before, and you realized that he may just have a thing for oral sex as he collected the release dripping from your folds on his dick.

He slid in remarkably easy, and you sighed as your walls adjusted to the size of him. You nodded at him in confirmation of his silent question when he began to thrust into you slowly, telling him wordlessly that you were okay, that he could fuck you as hard as he wanted to. Joel nodded back, picking up the pace rapidly at your approval, until he was fucking into you hard and fast with reckless abandon.

“Fuck, so good,” he began to mumble to himself again, his head tossing back, the veins on his face and neck bulging from the effort of his quick, hard thrusts. “So good for me, you’re so good for me…”

You bit your lips at the words, watching him lose himself in the throes of pleasure as Joel grabbed your hips. He was careful to avoid your healing injury, and some part of you softened even as you watched him bend over you, his strong face contorted in ecstasy as he chased his high with more desperation than you had ever seen from him before.

Fuck, he really does get off on going down on someone, you thought to yourself as it didn’t take long at all for his cock to begin to twitch inside of you, his jaw slackening as he groaned and quickly pulled out, leaving a trail of cum along your thigh as he did so. 

You blinked, almost concerned he had begun to cum inside of you before he pulled out, but you relaxed as you realized that you trusted Joel not to do so without your permission.

You trusted him, you repeated the thought to yourself with no small amount of surprise at the sentiment.

Fuck, when had that happened?

“God,” Joel whined softly, bracing his arms against the table as he leaned down, the furniture catching his weight as his legs began to buckle. “That was…”

“Yeah,” you murmured, reaching a hand up to dance your fingertips across his bare forearm as you managed a smirk up at his startled face, amused at how shocked he seemed to be at the intensity of his orgasm. “Please don’t say anything ridiculously cliché, though. You’ll ruin the moment.”

Joel chuckled quietly, his bemusement turning into something else, a look you couldn’t recognize as he returned your smirk with a small one of his own. “Oh yeah? ‘The moment’?”

“Mhm,” you hummed, wiggling your eyebrows as you teased, “you know, the gloriously awkward moment when you cum so hard after going down on a complete stranger.”

Joel laughed again, louder this time, and you were surprised by how much your heart lightened just at the sound of it.

“Is that what you are?” Joel asked, raising an eyebrow in a question that you suddenly realized you didn’t actually have the answer to. “A stranger?”

You hummed again, more in thought this time, your head tilting as you looked up at him. Your fingers continued to graze up along his arm, your lips parting to turn the question back on him, “You tell me.”

He sighed, the muscles in his arms tensing before he finally pushed himself up, his gaze passing over you as he assented, “You are a mystery, I’ll give you that much.”

Your attention piqued at that, and you tried to push yourself up when he reached his hand out to help you up, which you took without a second thought.

“Oh, really?” you asked, your amusement evident in your voice as you sat on the edge of the table while Joel pulled his pants up and moved to grab a rag, getting it damp before moving back to you. “I’m curious: what else am I, Joel Miller?”

Joel shook his head, wiping the wet rag over the tip of his leaking cock before passing it over to you so you could clean your legs.

“You’re bad news, for one,” he muttered, and you couldn’t resist laughing at that as you wiped the cloth over your thighs to clean up your combined release.

“And?” you asked, dropping the cloth on the table beside you before you rose to shaky legs.

“And I definitely shouldn’t be fucking you, since you’re my baby brother’s closest friend,” he sighed with a shake of his head, like he still couldn’t believe your arrangement, even months later.

“And?” you drawled, and Joel fixed you with a skeptical look at your persistence to draw more out of him.

Another, deeper sigh left him, glancing over you as you bent over to pull your shorts back up.

“And…”

Joel trailed off, glancing over your face before he shook his head. He tucked his dick away, zipping up his pants and reaching down to pick his belt back up before shifting away from you while muttering, “And nothing.”

You held back a sigh, almost able to see the walls being rebuilt in his gaze as he walked back to the counter where the tea had no doubt gone cold by now.

To be honest, you didn’t know what you were expecting—or what you had even wanted to hear in the first place. The torrent of emotions that washed over you in that moment were confusing, but they were gone just as quickly as they came.

You didn’t say anything else as you sank down into one of the chairs at your table, unable to keep yourself standing with how shaky your legs still were. Joel rested his palms against the countertop, staring down at the mug you always subconsciously grabbed for him when making him a drink, before his gaze suddenly snapped back to you.

His mouth opened for a second before it closed again, groaning as your brow rose at his rare loss for words.

You had to admit, it was nice to talk to him tonight. The atmosphere between the two of you was more amicable than it had ever been, the conversation flowing easily when you had been making the tea. And sure, you had been talking a bit more with your newfound friendship confirmed, but not as much as you had tonight.

But now it seemed you were back to the usual as Joel pushed himself away from the counter, turning to walk towards your back door without so much as a second glance back at you.

“Are we really back to this?” you found yourself asking before you could think about stopping yourself, and Joel froze with his hand on the doorknob.

He didn’t say anything for a moment, and you began to wonder if he was just going to ignore you and leave, before he repeated without turning back around, “This?”

Joel seemed to hesitate after saying the word, his grip tightening on the doorknob before he appeared to force himself to look back over at you and ask, “And what is ‘this’, exactly?”

The question made your mind blank, and you frowned.

You knew he was talking about your remark, but you found yourself wondering about this weird relationship between you as a whole, and you struggled as you tried to find the words to explain it, eventually stuttering, “It’s a—well, you know…”

Joel watched you blankly as you trailed off, clearly waiting for you to say it, and you huffed as your arms crossed across your chest, your face morphing into one of frustration as he forced your hand.

“A friendship,” you finally said the word flatly, almost snapping the term at him as you resisted the urge to look away from his harsh scrutiny as it focused on you, realizing that it had been a while since he had observed you so coldly. “But right now it’s not, because you’re acting like an asshole again for no goddamn reason. Hell, aren’t you the one who said we don’t have to avoid each other?”

You couldn’t believe that you had dared to believe that you were actually making progress with him. But it seemed like any step forward with Joel was followed by at least five steps back. It was incredibly frustrating, but what pissed you off the most was just how much he managed to draw a reaction out of you.

The thoughts in your head continued to spiral, your anger festering, until Joel’s sigh of defeat shattered through your haze of annoyance.

Joel pulled out the chair across from you, collapsing heavily into the chair even as he avoided meeting your eye.

“I’m not…” he sighed, rubbing a hand over his chin, and you realized his beard was still a bit damp from when he had been between your legs. For once, you felt a hint of something akin to bashfulness flare in you as you glanced away, your cheeks flushing from the intense memory that had only happened moments before.

Luckily, Joel was also avoiding looking at you, not catching your blush, and you only looked back at him when he finally admitted quietly, “I’m not good at the whole…‘friend’ thing.”

You sighed quietly, the tension in your shoulders evaporating as you glanced back towards him.

“I’m not exactly an expert at it either, in case you hadn’t noticed,” you mutter as you gesture vaguely around you, as if making a show of how nobody was exactly lining up the block to spend time with you.

Joel huffed out a laugh, looking down at his hands as he rubbed over the scars on the back of his knuckles—a habit you had noticed him doing when he was nervous or in thought.

“Look, Joel, I’m not looking for anything from you,” you said with a sigh as you leaned forward in your chair. “All I’m trying to say is…”

You trailed off, searching for the right words, and it was only when Joel looked back up at you, his gaze locking with yours, that you found them.

“Just…don’t be a stranger,” you murmured, your lips tilting up in a rare, true smile. It was hesitant, and barely noticeable, but it was there, and you swore you saw something shift in Joel’s eyes as he looked at it.

After a moment of silence, he pushed himself to his feet, still gazing down at the scars on his knuckles before glancing back up at you.

“Yeah,” he murmured, giving a small nod. “Yeah, I think I can manage that.”

You rested your chin on your hand, your smile melting into a more familiar smirk, one Joel gazed at before turning around.

“I’ll see you around, then,” Joel said, glancing back at you one last time, and you gave a lazy, two-finger salute in response, like you had that first morning he had shared his coffee with you.

“See ya around, cowboy,” you replied quietly, watching him disappear through the doorway.

In the back of your mind, you realized that this was the first time Joel had said goodbye before leaving. And even more than that, he had implied he would return.

Despite your best intentions, you couldn’t help another small, genuine smile at the thought.

[mimez-meme]

Mic and midnight friendship headcannons (some mention of erasermic)

Flirt as a joke/bully eachother as a joke kind of friendship (the flirting kinda stopped when erasermic became a thing but shota doesn’t rlly mind)

Their first kiss was eachother (they got dared to kiss eachother once when young, they joke about it today and say how ‘bad’ of a kisser eachother were)

Has the most unhinged convos in public with no shame

Mic does midnights makeup for her sometimes and midnight tries her makeup on him aswell (sometimes) and hair

Tried eachothers hero costumes on once

Mic and midnight act like a couple when needed to get any creepy guys/girls away from midnight or mic 🤷🏻‍♀️

Midnight taught mic how to walk in heels

Iconic pansexual and gay duo (if you have those headcannons for them)

Midnight is a tea person, mic doesn’t rlly like any but has coffee mostly to keep his energy up

Does TikTok’s together/they do Bėstie TikTok trends

Mic: “I’m ganna kill that bitch istg” midnight: “IL HELP/GO BĖSTIE” (can be other way round.. partners in crime/p)

Shit talks everyone

Mic: “Damn look at that guys ass” midnight: Damnnn, wait look at that girls ass aswell”. Mic: “I’m not doing that”

Mic has midnight as an “special” guest on his radio show sometimes and they just full on gossip to everyone, have weird Conovs, listen to peoples drama and play weird songs

Defo goes on those uh r/ things on Reddit yk? Together

Sometimes reads Wattpad stories or whatever about themselves as a joke or they both js read erasermic fanfics.. sometimes they even write their own fanfics as a joke.

Gives eachother cringe nicknames on purpose

Watches k-drama and Barbie together

Shopping sprees together

“Miccc can you payyyy?”

“You have your own money”

“Pleaseeeeeeee”

“Ughhh fineee but next time you’re paying!” (She prob isn’t)

Always getting piss drunk together on days off 💀

Loves to cook together

[honey-minded-hivemind]

I will get back to the Backstory!Posts, but I am working through a few ideas that I already have mostly figured out at the moment. I now I've mentioned a few different aus, bby!variants, and a bit about different platonic yandere groups and a few platonic yans themselves. Well, I think it would be fun to explore a universe where the X-Men have a reluctant bby, a mutant who isn't interested in their powers or being a part of their group.

The reader probably had a normal-ish life, but somehow, someway, their mutation surfaces, thus affecting them enough to cause an issue. They tried to hide it, going as far as to ignore it, and continued on with life... uuuntil the X-Men found out about them. Which leads to the team showing up at the reader's school/college/campus to talk with them, to see if they need help. The reader goes into a small panic, realizing that "Oh CR*P the X-Men showed up!" and promptly tries to hide/subtly leave (read: run) from the area.

Yeah, that doesn't work. The group is able to catch up to reader, and what ensues is them trying to convince a nervous teenager/young adult to join them, except this mutant doesn't want to join them, and has so far ignored and/or suppressed their mutation... leading to the group deciding they can't leave the reader alone, and certainly not in a state where they are inadvertently hurting themself (physically, mentally, emotionally) because they won't explore or acknowledge their powers... thus, the reader ends up with them reluctantly.

The group tries to help the reader explore their power, wanting them to feel comfortable in their skin and their abilities. Different members end up bonding (on their end) with reader in their own way, such as midnight snacks, nightly stroll, breakfast making in the early morning, sleepless nights, or offering a thoughtful word... and they end up even more attached to this nervous, upset mutant they took in. Many of the team members try to help calm their bby down, going as far as to use night-time tea (possibly soothe their thoughts)... they do their best.

We have plenty of members who will attempt to pull the reader out of their shell, through various means:

Professor Charles Xavier: tea time, chess (or checkers) games, a friendly debate

Cyclops/Scott Summers: training, car rides, coffee dates

The Phoenix/Jean Grey: doing the reader's nails, early morning breakfast making, strolls around the mansion

Wolverine/Logan Howlett: sleepless night talks, motorcycle rides, training

Storm/Ororo Munroe: gardening, cloud watching, cooking

Beast/Hank McCoy: reading, simple experiments, poetry

Rogue/Anne-Marie: gossip, trying Southern comfort foods, heart-to-heart talk about their mutations

Gambit/Remy LeBeau: cooking Southern foods, card games/tricks, teaching reader simple magic tricks

Nightcrawler/Kurt Wagner: playing pranks/telling jokes, trying different American foods/drinks, playing hide-and-seek

And there are many other possible X-Men, all of whom are just as protective of and a bit possessive of their bby... their bby may be upset and depressed at times, but, if worse comes to worse, they can help their bby forget it. All they want is a chance. All they want is to be a family for their bby, who needs to understand their mutation is a gift. It brought them to the group, and they'd be d*mned to let their bby get torn apart by the world for just being themself.

[louellaby]

FORGET-ME-NOT

REPLACED!MC AU

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

W A R N I N G

May contain bad grammar, limited vocabulary, and OOC characters. Please mind that English is not my first language, and it takes a lot of courage for me to post due to my anxiety and paranoia.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

taglist: @books-and-catears

PROLOGUE | CHAPTER I | CHAPTER II | CHAPTER III | LOUE'S LETTER | CHAPTER IV | CHAPTER V | LOUE'S LETTER | CHAPTER VI | CHAPTER VII | CHAPTER VIII | CHAPTER IX | CHAPTER X | LOUE'S LETTER | EPILOGUE

C H A P T E R I

「 The Start of a New Year 」

"MC, are you heading towards the student council room?" You turned around on your heels to find Lucifer standing there in the hall, a folder in his hands, and a smile that recently crept up on his face. "Why don't we walk together? We are going to the same place, after all."

You felt a sense of exhaustion in his voice no matter how much he tried to hide it from you. But you knew him well enough. You were sure that he won't listen to your nagging at this time of day, so you decided to just humour him. "Sure, let's go!"

These past days, Lucifer seemed to be getting better than before. He ate breakfast together with you and his brothers. He made sure to sleep earlier than usual— which was still past midnight, but it was a start, and he spent time with his family more. You couldn't help but think it was your influence at work. In fact, you were sure of it. You knew that the brothers' lives were getting much brighter because of your presence. The reason behind it all didn't matter. You didn't want to think about what happened in the past anymore. Not when it was a sensitive subject for each and every one of you. All you wanted to do was enjoy the moments you have with them for as long as you can. Never in your days would you have thought that something could come between you and those you hold dear.

"Lucifer and MC have arrived, Young Master," the butler named Barbatos announced to the man who sat at his desk, papers scattered in front of him. Diavolo looked up from his work and lit up the moment the two of you came into view. The smile on his face was automatically mirrored on your own. You just couldn't help it— He looked absolutely adorable!

"Lucifer! MC! I'm glad you're both here!"

"I take it my brothers are late again?" Lucifer ignored the prince's enthusiasm, looked around the room, and sighed as he took his seat next to Diavolo's. The latter just chuckled as the former continued to speak, complaining yet again as you expected, "I told them about this specific meeting exactly a week ago, and yet they still managed to be late."

"Yeah, you even reminded everyone in the house. Counting down the days to today." You pointed out, fingers out as to count down from seven to zero, which got you a side-eye glare from the man. You ignored his stare with a smirk creeping up on your face as you accepted the cup of tea Barbatos set down on your place. "Thank you, Barbatos."

After you found your seat on the other table where the rest of the brothers would be seated, Diavolo turned his gaze from you to the man next to him. With his usual smile, he answered Lucifer's question, "Your brothers aren't late, Lucifer, don't worry. You and MC are just early. You know, as usual."

"Yes, it might be as usual for me," Lucifer started and looked at you again, "But not for MC."

"Hey— Wha—"

"Even I thought I was late when I saw them walking towards the student council room... I had to double-check the time."

"Lucifer!"

Diavolo laughed, and Barbatos watched in amusement as you and the Avatar of Pride playfully argued back and forth. Finally, the school bell rang, and the doors to the room opened, revealing six demons who were having their own argument.

"Just give me back my money, Mammon! It's been three weeks— I need it to buy the recent merch for my favourite anime!"

"Wh-Which anime are ya talking about...? This one, or that one.....? Tell ya what, Levi, I'll buy ya that merch myself! Just tell me which one!"

"No! I'll buy it myself, thank you very much! And either you'll just use that money you borrowed from me and say it's not enough so I'll give you more, or tell me I need to pay you back a lot of money for your services, which I don't need!"

"Speaking of money... Satan, have you seen the limited edition makeup that's all in rage right now?!"

"Asmo... How did you get there from money? And no, I haven't. I see no point in asking me."

"What?! But you pass Majolish on the way to the Royal Library! There's no way you couldn't have seen it there!"

"I don't always have to look at Majolish's window whenever I walk past it, you know..."

"But you should!! —And the limited edition makeup isn't displayed in the window. You'd have to go inside the store."

"That's the more reason why I haven't seen it!!!"

"Hey, Belphie, are you alright? You're almost falling over, and you're slightly tripping on your own feet."

"I'm fine, Beel. I'm surprised you can even notice that while you're carrying lots of snacks in your arms and eating them at the same time."

"Yeah, well, I worry about you... and I'm hungry."

Well, from what you were hearing, everything seemed to be the same as every single day. There was nothing new going on with the brothers, and you didn't even realise how that was supposed to be a good thing. Because now the calm before the storm is about to end.

————————————————————————

"What?! New exchange students?!" The brothers shouted in chorus, most of them slamming their hands on the table as they looked in shock at their lord, the Devildom Prince. The man expected their reaction and just nodded along with it.

"Yes, that's right. We've already picked out the students. We just need to write and send them their acceptance letters, telling them what they need to know before they get teleported here."

"Well, I'm glad you've all learned your lesson about randomly teleporting humans to the Devildom just for the programme," you say to them with a sigh and a shake of your head in disagreement to their former way of life. You then watched the brothers as they discussed their arguments about having new students. But you all knew that it had been two years since your year ended, and it was time to finally open up the programme once more. You still wondered whether it was a good idea to randomly pick out students and leave them no choice but to come here whether they like it or not. Seems like that's something you'll need to work on, too, just for the sake of the future exchange students.

"MC, I want you to write the acceptance letter that will be sent out for the new exchange students. You only need two of them; one for the human and one for the angel." Lucifer ordered, passing you the folder he was carrying earlier. It was filled with the new students' information, such as their name, age, home address, and other details that go deeper into their background. In one of the papers about the human, you saw what was supposed to represent a family tree, going far, far back into the past. It seemed like they were trying to make sure they didn't miss any important details; and by the looks of it, they didn't. A high wave of relief washed over you, and you smiled with a nod towards Lucifer's direction.

"Alright, I'm on it." You decided not to argue with the eldest Avatar on the subject. You secretly wanted to write the letters yourself, after all. You wanted it to be a way to somehow connect yourself to them, and writing the letter was your only choice at the moment since you had no other way of reaching out.

As everyone else discussed the details further, you went to work with high hopes.

「 PROLOGUE | CHAPTER II 」

[leafs-lover]

y/n and Freddie in btpdg is one of my favorite couples to ready about. have you thought of doing a blurb or something where Freddie comes home from a roadie and wakes y/n up in a ✨spicy✨ way? like, maybe when ollie was a baby because sleep is precious when they have 4 little monsters.

Series Masterlist

This is set before YN and Fred have had conversations about getting together but it’s painfully obvious they both want it so like figure it out already? You also don’t have to have read the entire fic to make sense of it, this is a stand alone piece

Warnings: swearing, smut (fingering and p in v), a slight dominance link, I didn’t proofread or edit so if you see any spelling/ grammar mistakes keep them to yourself

Fred’s least favourite thing was leaving.

Ollie learned what the duffle bag meant and would whine every time he saw it, you of course knew what it meant and would also whine about it. Only difference was he could reason with you. He’d always promise you a date once he returned and you’d always prop yourself on your tippy toes, wrap your arms around his neck and pull his face down, growling “why wait?”

Oliver was walking and talking, a handful with every step, leave him alone for more than a minute and every toy was thrown across the living room, or he would have the pantry open tossing boxes onto the floor. He kept you on your toes and you both felt uneasy leaving him even if only for a few minutes. So you would wait, but that doesn’t mean you’d make it easy on him. You would constantly send pictures, snapchats, answering his FaceTimes while wearing practically nothing. You knew exactly what you were doing and it drove him crazy.

Typically the Pens would fly the team back early in the morning after a road trip and since giving Fred a key you tended to wake up and find the living room full of laughter, Oliver wearing only a diaper as he terrorized the couch cushions.

This particular road trip ended in Philly and it was a very quick flight home. The team ventured back to Pittsburgh after the game and Fred set out for your apartment. He made good time, it was near midnight and the roads were empty.

Not a single light was on, not even the blue glow from a TV to alert him to your presence. It’s quiet, but not an eery quiet, it’s peaceful.

Fred drops his bag by the door and sets his keys in the bowl. His jacket is left on the rack and he starts to unbutton his dress shirt as he walks down the dark hallway. He stops at Oliver’s room and half expects the crib to be empty meaning a night with a sprawling toddler who kicks him seventeen times in the ribcage, but as the light from the hall filters in Fred catches a glimpse of the red locks on his tiny body. Like every night he spends with Oliver, Fred walks over to the side of the crib and takes a second to just watch his son. There is something about watching a baby sleep perfectly and peacefully that makes his heart swell - he doesn’t know how he went this long without it. He gently whispers goodnight and places a kiss to his cheek, then leaves the door as he found it - open a crack - before venturing toward you.

There is a copy of The Whispers cracked open on the mattress beside you, a cup of cold herbal tea lingers on the bedside table. The blankets are down low past your hips and one leg is kicked out - evidence you got hot at some point - your perky nipples protrude through the thin white cotton shirt you wore to sleep. The desire for baby number two throbs in his pants, if only that topic wouldn’t send you running Fred could bring it up.

He throws his pants over a chair, folds his shirt and places it on the seat and slips out of his socks. He grabs your “bookmark” from the night stand and lets his finger trace over the worn edges for a moment. It’s not an actual bookmark, but a picture taken moments after Oliver was born. Fred knew you were using a picture, but Oliver was almost one before he knew what the picture was, and that was the moment he knew there was a chance you’d come back to him. Because it’s not a picture of just you and Oliver, it’s one of the three of you. Sweat clings in your hairline, trapping baby hairs to your forehead, both of you have puffy red eyes from crying with the biggest smiles imaginable plastered to your faces, only thing is Fred is staring at Oliver and you are looking up at him. Even with the emotions of that moment, he can see there is more to the look you are giving him. You’re not staring at the father of your son, you are staring at the man you love. Fred is so happy he noticed that glimmer in your eyes and decided to wait you out, because he catches you looking at him like that countless times a day (even though you won’t admit it anytime soon). Fred smiles, like he does every time he sees this photo, and sets it inside the book, then curls up beside you.

He knows he should let you sleep, you have a very energetic toddler that loves to keep you on your toes, but that shirt is just a little to see-through and a little too tight and you sent one too many messages.

He starts slow.

His hand on your stomach and lips on your jaw. It’s soft, a kiss that goes unnoticed.

His calloused hand ventures up, finding one of those perfect breasts you spent a week tormenting him with and he begins to massage it, tweaking and tugging at your nipple. A sleepy sigh catches in your throat but Fred can tell it’s going to take more.

His touch is light as his hand drops, under the elastic band of his boxers you decided to sleep in. The pressure starts off gentle, slow circles being pressed against your heat. His lips trail along your jaw, over to the sweet spot on your neck. Instead of kissing he starts to suck, harder and harder, letting his teeth sink in. When he doesn’t earn the response he desperately seeks, two fingers toy at your entrance, coating themselves in your arousal.

“Hi baby,” Fred murmurs when you finally start to stir.

“Hi,” you mumble back, involuntarily tilting your head to the side, giving him more space to work with. “I missed you.”

“I know you did.” His fingers slip inside as far as they can go. Your eyes dart open.

“Shit baby.” Your legs kick out and back arches as he thrusts his digits back inside.

“You knew what you were doing with all those pictures you sent.” He chastises, thrusting his fingers back inside once again. “Knew what it was doing to me.”

“Of course I did.” Your voice is becoming strangled, the pressure starting to build.

“Then what did you expect?”

Fred shoves his boxers down your thighs and you feel his cock, rock hard and leaking excitement all over your hip. With a few more thrusts to get you wet and ready, Fred replaces his fingers with his member, and you both moan in unison.

“This was your plan all along, wasn’t it?” He probes, shunting you up the bed with one deep thrust. “What you wanted huh?” He punctuates with another thrust.

“I always want you.” You whimper, knowing he is waiting for a response.

Your fingers tremble when they feel the hard muscles of his back. You always loved his body and he’s always loved yours. Beads of sweat cascade down your neck and Fred smiles, his second favourite thing to lick.

“Only me right?”

He doesn’t mean it as a question, at least not in this moment. There will be a time for the hard questions, a conversation where he will make you admit to what you’ve been feeling (because he has zero doubt and knows you just need a nudge). This question is more about dominance, a reminder, because him practically prodding your cervix doesn’t do that.

“As if there could be anyone else.”

Fred hooks your left leg over his hip and finally brings his lips to yours. His mustache tickles your upper lip and his tongue works its way into your mouth. It’s sloppy, frantic, full of heat. Every time he presses his tongue in further your nails scratch along his back. And after every firm and direct thrust hits that spot deep inside, your moan gets caught in his mouth.

“You look so good with my cock inside you.” Fred grunts, punctuating his words with another thrust.

“You feel so good inside me.”

“Gonna feel even better with my cum dripping out of you.” Fred smirks as one hand snakes between your bodies and rubs at your clit. It suddenly becomes very difficult to concentrate on what he is saying. You can see his lips moving and can only imagine the filth spewing out.

You writhe beneath him as your pleasure reaches it’s peak. Your nails dig deep into the thickest part of his bicep and with one more punctuated thurst you come undone, warmth spilling around his cock. Fred’s cocky grin only grows even as his thrusts are sloppy and shallow, and just as your body relaxes Fred spills everything deep inside your cunt.

It takes a bit for your hearts to steady, it always does, Fred’s version of a “quickie” often leaves you feeling like you ran 5k.

Fred looks down at you, brown eyes clouded with lust and passion and leans back in, replacing the heated and heavy kisses with a soft one, full of warmth.

“Elskede.” He smiles sweetly, his cock soft inside you.

“Hmm.”

“Tease me like that again and I won’t wake you up as nicely next time.”

“No idea what you’re talking about,” you shrug him off, a hint of insolence in your voice. His cock twitches. You being bratty always did turn him on.

Taglist: If you are in this list you have expressed interest in the series, either through likes/reblogs or by asking. If you would like to be removed or added to the list send me an ask:

@mandypants95 @c-tangerinene @puccbunni @hockeyinaussie @hockeypuckspost @0kikina0 @sixmapleleafs @hockeyunitsyunits @localcalumhoe @starswin  @je-ne-regrette-rien @mollybirk @daniellepulice72 @callsign-denmark

[witchofhimring]

🌸Persephone🌸 x reader friendship alphabet (platonic)

Kinda just decided to do this last night. Guess now I have to make a LO masterlist.

A= Activites (what do you like to do together?)

Chill in a field blooming with flowers while reading. Its relaxing and very nice. The two of you will also spend a lot of time in the library while enjoying overpriced lattes.

B= Best Friend (how close are you?)

Very. The two of you had known each other since childhood so you two know everything there is to know. She tells you her deepest fear, hopes and dreams. She trusts you implicitly. And yes, Hades is very much jealous.

C= Communication (how do they text?)

Persephone prefers to say important/personal things in person so the text messages are mostly just the two of you goofing off. Mostly just memes and the occasional request for one another's opinion on a dress.

D= Date (have you tried dating before? how did it go?)

Nope. Its not like Demeter would let Persephone date anyone. So Hades is her first and only romantic relationship. The two of you are soley platonic.

E= Embrace (are you guys physical or not? if so, how?)

There is hand holding and hugs. Persephone is very physical when it comes to her affection and she likes people knowing she loves them. This is very much canon as Persephone does mention that people on Olympus are more reserved in their affections.

F= Favorite (what’s their favorite thing about you?)

How she feels safe with you. She doesn't have to worry about backstabbing or you running back to Demeter. You have always been there for her and she also wants you to be happy.

G= Gifts (what gifts do they get you?)

She gives you books, teas from all over the world and booked goods. She likes giving you comfort and care packages.

H= Happy (how do they act around you when you both are really happy?)

Very cheerful with flowers growing out of her hair. Will lead to the two of you goofing off (much to Demeter's chagrin).

I= Impression (what was their first impression of you?)

The two of you were so small when you met so she can't really remember. But the first memories she had of you were that you were loyal and kind.

J= Jokes (what is your collective sense of humor?)

Memes. It drives everyone else in the group chat crazy.

K= Kind (what kind of friend are they (crackhead, soft, opposites attract etc.)

Platonic soulmates. The two of you complete each other, always being there to help.

L= Lasting (how long has this friendship lasted?)

Since you were babies, so about 18 years by the beginning of Lore Olympus.

M= Midnight (just a midnight adventure with them (hella chaotic)

Because of Persephone's childhood there weren't very many opportunities to let lose. The wildest thing that has happened have been when the two of you sneak out and observe the mortals. The two of you are curious about life outside of Demeter's little garden.

N= Nicknames (what are some nicknames you have for each other?)

For you: a shortened version on your name

For Persephone: Percy

O= Open (how open are you with each other?)

You two know everything about each other.

P= Pet (what’s their favorite animal?)

Persephone has always wanted a small pet turtle. It now has a place of honor in the library.

Q= Question (what is the weirdest thing they have asked you and what's the context?)

"Have you ever farted out of your vagina?" The two of you were doing yoga when she asked this question. Yes, any woman knows what I am talking about.

R= Rhythm (what is both of yours favorite song?)

Best Friend by Doja Cat

S= Smiling (what do you do that makes them smile?)

-When you send memes

-Make jokes

-Do small things to make her feel better

-When you show your support her

T= Talking (what do they like to talk about with you?)

She loves talking about books with you.

U= Unique (what is a weird thing both of you like to do?)

Not very weird, but tickling contests.

V= Visit (what is your favorite place to go with them?)

Random human villages where the two of you can sneak around and observe their lives. Its peaceful and gives the two of you a feeling of freedom.

W= Wild Card (just a random headcanon)

Boop contests. The two of you pocked eachother on the nose in a game of tag that would last all day. Shenanigans ensue with honey on the floor to waylay the other, rotten eggs dropping from about and other such dirty tricks,

X= X-Ray (how well are you able to read each other?)

Pretty damn well. The pair of you are pretty perceptive to one another's emotions.

Y= Yuck (what do you guys both hate?)

Apollo. Enough said.

Z= Zoo Outing (again- y’all go to the zoo)

Enjoying Hade's pool.

[spade-riddles]

Submission: I was scrolling through The L Chat Taylor thread and came across this:

I then hopped over to Reddit where there was a recent post discussing this older one, asking if it had ever been solved. A commenter suggested the OP search the sub for CIB to view previous potential CIB answers.

CIB = Coney Island Baby

I did that myself and found a post from two years ago (so from before the CIB/disco dancing post). The post talks about a possible relation between Taylor's Coney Island song and a song by another artist, Lou Reed's Coney Island Baby. That post went on to abbreviate the song as "CIB" which to me seems like it would be the obvious connection for the SpecialistAmbition77 post.

Now this may be confirmation bias, but if this SA77 poster was legit, then I think disco dancing would be the Met Gala where Karlie and Taylor danced to September. Which was later shown to be significant when Taylor recorded a cover of the same song later.

And when I saw that CIB might mean Coney Island Baby, that also seemed familiar. Not only does the song match up pretty well to the general theme of Midnights, but the name Coney Island Baby reminded me of this Tea Time message:

Now I know Tea Time was never 100% determined to have been legitimate. But they did clue us in about the Kurt Kloss/Dorthea connection. And when I was hunting down the Tea Time Isla message, I also found this one:

Interesting that this throwback message came exactly a year before Midnights dropped. Interesting that they specifically said "who says TEA TIME nowadays" and then a year to the day later Anti-hero would be dropped.

Now today we have this from Vulture, highlighting Primrose Hill again:

To be honest, I'm still not sure what Primrose Hill is about other than that it may have proved Tea Time's authenticity. But look at this from Reed's Coney Island Baby:

This whole song parallels Midnights quite nicely. But what really caught my eye was that princess lived on the HILL and loved the song's narrator even though she knew they were wrong. In the context of the song, I believe "wrong" is referring to the non-straight nature of the relationship. But it also reminds me of Anti-hero and even The Great War (and how Karlie never stopped loving Taylor even when she was in the wrong). Was it Karlie who stayed on Primrose HILL with Taylor? And now they share their Coney Island Baby, aptly named Isla? We still don't know enough to definitively prove that, but it is all an interesting thought.

Also, this about the song from Genius is pretty interesting:

Something else that I found interesting is that Lou Reed's Coney Island Baby album was released in 1975. Could this have inspired Taylor to make Midnights have a 70's look? And she recently performed with The 1975, but that was probably more due to the Kissgate connection than a CIB album one.

Anyway, there's no way of knowing if SA77 was legit or a troll. But the possible connections between SA77, Coney Island Baby, the Tea Time throwback message one year before Midnights/Anti-hero, and now Primrose Hill popping up again all seemed too suspicious to let pass without noting it.

P. S.: I went down this rabit hole in the early morning of 3/22. Later that day, People magazine mentioned Toe would be traveling with Taylor when he was free.

When I started this rabbit hole, I thought it was the girls dropping hints on other platforms about their true story and their own CIB. But after the People and Vulture articles, I feel like there's a strong chance that it's Karlie who resides on Primrose Hill with Taylor. Should we see Taylor travel back and forth to London throughout this stunt, should we see those who doubt praise Toe against all reason, I believe we should keep in mind that it could also be Karlie who Taylor comes home to on Primrose Hill.

[mimez-meme]

Nemuri and hizashi friendship headcanons!! (Mention of erasermic and oboro x midnight)

Flirt as a joke/bully eachother as a joke kind of friendship (the flirting kinda stopped when erasermic became a thing but shota doesn’t rlly mind)

Their first kiss was eachother (they got dared to kiss eachother once when young, it made oboro and aizawa think they liked eachother but in reality they hated that kiss, i ship oboro and midnight btw)

Would always tease eachother about their crushes like a couple of times when oboro and nem were talking zashi would just pull out his phone and play careless whisper on full volume. Nem once did it back with zashi and aizawa but erasermic just ended up kissing

Has the most unhinged convos in public with no shame

Mic does midnight makeup for her sometimes and midnight tries her makeup on him aswell (sometimes) hehe and hair

Tried eachothers hero costumes on once

Mic and midnight act like a couple when needed to get any creepy guys/girls away from midnight or mic 🤷🏻‍♀️

Midnight taught mic how to walk in heels

Iconic pan and gay duo (if you have those headcannons for them)

Midnight is a tea person, mic doesn’t rlly like any but as coffee mostly to keep his energy up

Does TikTok’s together/they do Bėstie TikTok trends

Mic: “I’m ganna kill that bitch istg” midnight: “IL HELP/GO BĖSTIE” (can be other way round.. partners in crime/p)

Shit talks everyone

Mic: “Damn look at that guys ass” midnight: Damnnn, wait look at that girls ass aswell”. Mic: “I’m not doing that”

Mic has midnight as an “special” guest on his radio show sometimes and they just full on gossip to everyone, have weird Conovs, listen to peoples drama and play weird songs

Defo goes on those uh r/ things on Reddit yk? Together

Sometimes reads Wattpad stories or whatever about themselves as a joke or they both js read erasermic fanfics.. sometimes they even write their own fanfics

Gives eachother cringe nicknames on purpose

Watches k-drama and Barbie together

Shopping sprees!!!

“Miccc can you payyyy?”

“You have your own money”

“Pleaseeeeeeee”

“Ughhh fineee but next time you’re paying!” (She prob isn’t)

Always getting piss drunk together on days off 💀

[oranges-arent-fruits-idiot]

this is for the whole system but it's ara rn

lock screen is dirk strider fanart cause he's so babygirl

chocolate we fucking hate cheese

i mean we have like 20+ nicknames but mainly kae (short for kaeso, our system and collective name)

we last listened to joyful girl by ani difranco (it's so good u should check out ani she's epic)

yes we write fanfic for fun sometimes but it's just a continuation of things we like

we are not on discord :/

we have our ears pierced lol

we think someone's long term behavior says a lot about them, not first impressions

we would be a triple chocolate cookie cause we're a bad decision who keeps you up at night ;)

we have had dogs all our life but we like cats more cause they don't bark and we're incredibly noise sensitive

headphones 100% cause it's hard as hell to break them but we don't own any

"is that biblically accurate freddy fazbear?" in response to a photo of a cat with a top hat

weird fact: if bunnies get wet they die

we are a bit of both since we sleep from midnight-4am est and get up immediately but function really well at night

we nap in bed lol

of course we're every flavor of gay what did you expect

insomniac goat child

jeans 100000% we fucking hate sweatpants

we don't go to starbucks but if we did it would probs be a hot chocolate or one of those fucking energy drink fruit things they keep advertising

we can't stand yellow, wdk why

our most prized possession is probs our guitar we named jessicaa. she's our prized possession.

tea 10000000000%

we fucking love mesosaurs they're epic look them up

we've been on tumblr for a couple months now and we intend to be on here til the end of time

we would bring snans unddertheale (there's gregory, why the fuck is he wanting to bring sans.)

our aesthetic is 70's teenage gay canadian bimbo

our dream job is either a:

music/history teacher

sole creator of our different art projects (animated tv show about DID and mental illness, books, other sitcoms, creepypastas, music, giant fucking epic paintings, etc)

criminal justice lawyer

full time engineering/gaming content creator

and/or sole owner/employee of a small plushie/accessory/kandi/cosplay/giant fucking mecha kaju suit making business

a few of us are very taken with the best person we've ever met they're so amazing we're so fucking happy to have an awesome gf. the rest of us are either adult fictives who are aroace/involved with someone in their source or a child.

our fav outfit is a green and blue and brown and white striped shirt with long navy jorts, a brown belt, tall white socks, black vans or converse with handmade platforms soles and beaded laces, a old digital watch our mom got in the 80's, a silk hair tie to tie up our hella long wolf cut/mullet, our crocheted cross body bag with ~15 fnaf keychains, and our fucking awesome kandi collection.

we know all the lyrics to all the songs on our 75+ hour playlist which has 1,400+ songs caus we're fucking crazy

our hair is a dark blonde but we wanna dye it light pink with platinum roots

we talk to ourselves all the fucking time cause we're a system and we also have some alters who are hyper verbal (we think that's the word) who don't shut up ever

we wear makeup sometimes but it depends on who's fronting and what our gender is at the time

best compliment was probably when our best friend genuinely wanted to hang out with us. sounds really sad but the fact that anyone would even like or respect us is fucking insane to us cause we got really fucking bullied lol (sorry to get deep but that's just the truth)

@bloodyraremedium ily /p

~ 💖 ASK GAME 💖 ~

📷 What’s set as your phone’s lockscreen?

🍫 Cheese or chocolate?

✨ Do you have any nicknames?

🎵 Last song you listened to?

✏️ Have you ever written fanfiction?

😏 Are you on discord?

 💛 Do you have any piercings?

🐰 What do you think says the most about a person?

🍪 If you were a cookie, what kind would you be?

🐶 Are you more of a dog person or a cat person?

🎧 Headphones or earbuds?

🌼 What’s the last thing you said out loud?

🙃 What’s a weird fact that you know?

🦉 Are you a morning person or a night owl?

🧸 Favorite place to nap?

🏳️‍🌈 Are you a member of the LGBTQIA+ community?

🦋 Describe yourself in three words.

👖 Jeans or sweatpants?

🥤 What’s your go-to Starbucks order?

🧡 A color you can’t stand?

💎 What’s your most prized possession?

☕ Coffee or tea?

🦖 Favorite extinct animal?

🌙 How long have you been on tumblr?

🌴 Desert island item?

🐸 Describe your aesthetic.

🔮 What’s your dream job?

💙 Relationship status?

🌿 Describe your favorite outfit.

🎤 Is there a song you know all the lyrics to?

🤎 What color is your hair?

💌 Do you talk to yourself?

💄 Do you wear makeup?

🌸 Best compliment you ever received?

💞 @ your favorite blog.

Reblogs are appreciated!

[acanvasofabillionsuns]

hmmmmmmm i want tea,,

i braided the tail of my little mouse at school and got a) peer pressured (/hyp) into making it as long as physically possible and b) lots of compliments! much love stored in the mouse now 😌

and this afternoon i've been making a little bunny akjsf;lsjke i just have to finish crocheting + sew on his little hands and feets <3

found a new song and i have become obsessed <3

also i listened to a couple spell check episodes for the first time in ages and just!!! favorite podcast moment <3

especially the music i love podcast music al;skjdf;lskeja;l

school was p chill today!! didn't do anything in Most of my classes but i got a bit of hw from a class i do have stuff in done

WAIT I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE AT MIDNIGHT TONIGHT

it's okay i have time, good thing i remembered that alkjdfl;sj

my dad made cookies! the first batch burned but that is fine and i'm taking some of those for lunch tomorrow <3

also i finished my milkshake! mmmmm

also also i had bagel bites for the first time in Ages and what a nice snack!

i watched the funniest video aklfdjs;lekjaf;lsj;el it's in my queue for later today (when this posts)

talked with percy!!!!!! percy ily <33

galm :]