#ow ow ow my feet
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Conference day 1: ow my FEET holy crap there's so many people here oh my god I will never get into a graduate program ever aaaaaaa
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[ cw: trauma / ptsd / violence / brainwashing / ]
I’m not done talking about Raph and Leo yet because you know what kills me? How the beginning of the movie with Raph very angry at Leo to the point of lashing out at him is paralleled with how the end of the movie has the Krang very, very angry at Leo and beating him horrifically.
Both Raph and the Krang are so much bigger than Leo, both have been very angry with him, and both deem him responsible for ruining their respective missions.
To make matters worse, Raph’s body was used to hurt Leo. So it’d make sense for Leo to just…flinch, sometimes. To have his body reflectively brace for a blow that will not come because Raph would see this and just be horrified. Their fights, their roughhousing, their existing together all have a newfound and unwanted extra layer to them.
And Raph? Raph is traumatized enough having been brainwashed the way he was, turned into a monster in a way he always dreads in general. To be made into the antithesis of a hero and instead be a villain’s pawn, made to hurt his own family…poor kid, to say the least.
Can’t imagine what it must feel like, the first time post invasion that Raph gets mad at Leo and they fall into their old dynamic only for Leo to see the Krang and for Raph to feel like he is the Krang.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise raph#rottmnt raph#rise leo#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#I mentioned this in the tags of my previous post but I had to make a whole other post for it because ow#imagine Leo being more responsible largely because he learned valuable lessons and grew up some…but also because a part of him is scared#and doesn’t want raph mad at him#not really because he doesn’t want to be afraid but because he doesn’t want to be afraid of RAPH#and raph? god raph probably is so terrified of accidentally hurting his brothers - especially Leo#not knowing if at any point he’d be taken over or lose control and ‘wake up’ to find his little brother beaten at his feet#he’d probably be simultaneously so SCARED of being separated from his family and accidentally losing himself…#…and also so scared of being CLOSE to them and not knowing if he may be used to hurt them#god these kids I think about them all the time#like the trauma of it is just…oof#Leo was very very brutally beaten by both the Krang AND a Krangified Raph#and no matter what he may want the body and mind remember these things#Raph’s body and mind were taken over and used to hurt those he cares about#he always strives to be someone his brothers look to as being safe but what can he do when he doesn’t even feel safe from himself?#god these kidssss
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Alastor has an uncanny sixth sense for when husk's pain days are Worse and those are the days he decides that having him run around doing errands is a grand idea 😊
#drag rambles#hazbin hotel#it's nothing that requires a lotta effort#cant have husk messing shit up cause his head is too foggy after all#but it does keep him on his feet#This is brought to you by my leg being busted but I'm mostly just grabbing files today in work which requires walking 💖 ow
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The Will Wood halloween concert was genuinely one of the best experiences of my life. Everyone was so nice (shoutout to the Crowley cosplayer that made sure everyone had water during the show and my friends and i stuck with the whole time you were lovely. And the person who gave us kandi) and the atmosphere and music were amazing. Don’t know if i can say what the “surprise” was for the halloween concert yet since another group is going tomorrow but. holy shit. it was fucking incredible. (for anyone that was there, i was the low effort jonathan sims hanging out with genloss slimcicle and squiggles)
#also shoutout to my compression socks. holy fucking ow my legs and feet hurt#wwatt#will wood#ww#will wood and the tapeworms#will wood concert
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Julien Baker x Touché Amoré - Skyscraper (April 10, 2018) (x)
#JB x TA NATION RISE#thank you anon ily forever and ever i owe you something big#i can’t stop watching this i love this band i love this feature i love her so MUCH#i’m so giddy i’m kicking my feet#julien baker#jb 18#touché amoré
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i'm officially declaring the xbox 360 most kickable console
#a friend very kindly gave me their unused one but i haven't set it up yet so it's just been in a grocery bag on my bedroom floor#and i've accidentally kicked it and gone ow fuck like 5 times#so i finally went okay maybe let's not have this in the literal center of the room and moved it. BUT GUESS WHAT I KICKED AGAIN JUST NOW#my fucking feets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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collab with @honkytonka who did the art of Brainstorm and Perceptor!!! Thank you <3
#simpatico#brainstorm#perceptor#mtmte#maccadam#transformers#my edits#yes brainstorm is doing the xqc slam feet on desk#and they are playing ow because WE play ow#partners in grime#honkytonka
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Every time I try to stop taking gabapentin due to the monstrous side effects my human meat body is like "you have severe chronic nerve pain" and then releases a primal scream that sounds like "NRRRAUUUUUUGGHHHHHH" and feels like five hundred fire ants stinging each of my feet simultaneously
#Ow oof ouch my NERVE DAMAGE >:(#I can't even put weight on my feet today it's so bad#I have all the EDS comorbidities without having EDS and all the diabetes comorbidities without having diabetes#They call me Comorbidities Georg
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One of the things about the sneaky that got lost in the middle of my mind being blown by the fox hunt cult is that it confirmed my theory that Avery doesn't like to share the PC much or at all
#not that she wouldn't because she's a bootlicker above anything else but she doesn't Enjoy it. which makes it funnier#gaining love and losing endearment for refusing to get shake quinn's hand... how she seems to REALLY love that you seek her out#in the middle of the cult ritual dance... ''they know they can only look'' as she grabs you... being relieved when she wins and hugging you#vs seething upon losing (and the fact that she didn't want to have you on the betting table but bailey pressured lmao)#i owe bailey my life now tbh without her i wouldn't have gotten this. thank you bailey#where was i going with this. oh yeah avery should get cucked more often her reactions are adorable and made me giggle and kick my feet#dol avery
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ttrpgs fuck you up
everyone says “try out dnd”, including me but dude believe me, dnd fucks you up, ttrpgs fuck you up
there’s this person in your head and you can only scream about them to the other five idiots with their own little guys in their heads
and sometimes you can’t even scream at them because first you have to reveal the backstory you came up with and you don’t want to do that immediately
ttrpgs fuck you up because they make you daydream about your little guy and what happened with them AND YOU CAN’T STOP THE THOUGHTS
try out dnd (or any other ttrpg), they say… but what they don’t say is that it’s all emotional damage
and the worst part of it is that you enjoy every fucking minute of that emotional damage
ttrpgs fuck you up.
#last night’s vtm session was a fucking rollercoaster#i can’t stop thinking about it#we started with a tattooing session andit was absolutely cute because the npc was a sweetheart and my character got a tattoo#a little line art#based on her pet rats#and then shit hit the fucking fan#we owed an npc and she asked us to investigate why her runner guy haven’t got back yet#he was supposed to get back with the fugitives hours before#and shit really hit the fan when we got to the meeting point#the guy was dead#the fugitives too#they were fucking massacred#and the runner guy was burned to final death#and my character saw them die in a vision#and the vision was like a fucking epilepsy attack#because i had to roll a rouse check and it was a fail#which meant that cassandra (my character) was bleeding from her hand and feet and forehead because she’s a fucking stigmata#and then the other roll was a messy critical#she saw the whole thing in all red#and then one of the hunters who killed the three of them throw a fucking molotov cocktail on us#one of us almost died#we fought him and i drained him so he died#my humanity level haven’t changed but the thought that cass killed a guy was there#and then the secret kindred radio announced simon’s death because he was also a malkavian the host played a song for his sister#cry little sister by chvrches#i cried and i’m still thinking about it and crying a little because it really fucked me up#vampire the masquerade#vtm#san antonio by night#i am not okay
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how do y'all not get distracted and just write... how
#asdfg i'd write everything in my notebook and then type it but i can't write anything suggestive in there#what if someone sees it... that's a fear i don't want unlocked ASDFG#but i'm locking in i'm getting at least one thing written and then i'll keep chipping away at things throughout the week#there's an ungodly amount of things i owe people and i have only myself to blame uvu i love having things to give y'all uvu#and those things sadly pile up uvu but gimme more uvu ASDFGH#alright nobody touch me look at me perceive me -- i gotta make my mutuals kick their feet over spice#get ready to ramble | ooc
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#ive been having trouble with bedtime recently#just like dont want to do it#not tired#but today#today i am tired and actually looking forward to it lol#i feel so not good lolol#my back is out and i am having an allergic reaction to deodorant i put on lol#and my feet are so cut up and blistered and OW#and its migraine time and every movement just hurts!!!!#sleep sounds like a fucking break!!!!
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Me: I literally don’t want to work. I was made to just sit around and be cute. Whyyy must I work
Also me: you got bills to pay??? Also cute things don’t just fall into your lap, bitch. You gotta GET. THAT. BREAD.
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the darkwater writing lineup goes crazy idk
#ignore my daylist idk what shes doing there#watch your feet#been working almost all day! took a break to watch youtube and take a nap but back to it now!#i intend to stop whenever my friends hop on ow but no sign of it rn so alas. work continues#not pictured: listening to the evanescence fallen 20th anniversary vinyl i got at target the other day#it has breathe no more! farther away!!! MISSING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love missing sm one of my favorite songs of all time#(after the hilary duff and skye sweetnam on my middle school playlist is paramore/flyleaf thats mostly what i was listening to before)
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fucked up my back and shoulder and neck carrying heavy shit home and now im just using my ice cold fingers to kneed and poke at the swollen muscle like a total freak at the register just rubbing myself down like a rat taking a bath i don't even think its helping its the same sensation as poking a bruise . giving horrible customer service in hopes customers go away quicker so i can continue probing and molesting myself in vain
#feet and socks got wet the other day walking to work were wet all day#and chafed my feet and fucked them up probably cus the shoes definitely have over the recommended mileage they say to replace your shoes at#nd the fabrics all worn down on the inside and theres holes and basically i look and act homeless and i hate it#tldr; ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow#im living life like a elderly hobbled donkey#carrying rocks and shit
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Fuck it, they/them until further notice.
#me#Probably the closest this blog ever gets to faceposting#Also probably the last non-writing content I'll post#But whatever it's been messing with me for months time to fuck around and find out#I don't owe androgyny to anybody I just want to know what I am#But 'guy' barely fits anymore and 'girl' is like trying to put gloves on my feet#So yeah I'm trying NB out. Maybe it fits. Maybe I just continue to feel like a misfit in everything.#Having a minor anxiety attack about this even though there's nobody to see it so I guess at least that's still the same#Now how the fuck do I talk to my partner about it fml
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