#overdose tayler buono

[oksana-moods]

Overdose

Summary: Just like an addict, you should stay away from your addiction, from her. But what can you really do when she always shows up at your door with that smile?

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

A/N: Second one-shot from 300 followers’ celebration. This piece was one of the hardest to write and I took a lot from myself in this, hope you guys like it. Once, I read somewhere that we should take our pain and turn it into art, so here we are. As usual, let me know your thoughts.

Warnings: Angst, language, cheating, toxic relationship, mentions of alcohol. If there’s any other that should be mentioned, let me know.

“Heart locked up, it all went numb, you stole the breath inside my lungs.”

The tics of the clock on the wall were a dauting reminder that you were wrong. Or right. It depends on the point of view.

You had been right that she’d fail you again; you had been right that she’d hurt you again; you had been right that she’d break yet another promise. You had been wrong, though, in giving her one more chance. ‘Cause all she managed to do with this new opportunity was to break your heart, one more time.

Did she? You wondered. How can someone break even more what’s already in pieces? Shattered in thousands of tiny shards, impossible to mend. It wouldn’t be farfetched to assume it couldn’t break further.

Still, she could. She did.

You stared at the window and every droplet of rain on the window was another second, another reminder of how replaceable you were. It may seem cold, but that’s just what you are. To Natasha, you were the one who were always available when she needed. When there wasn’t anybody else. Nothing else.

First it had been Bruce. You could see every step she took away from you that led her closer to him, but you understood. Ultron had played with your minds, and they hit Natasha’s core. Her guilt. And much like a moth to a flame, she was draw to Bruce, another person buried in guilt, only he couldn’t be man enough to bear a woman like Natasha.

So, when he flew away, she came to you, and you were there. Arms right open because you felt guilty too about your past, but this wasn’t what she was looking for. No. When Natasha Romanoff came to your room on the compound, she wanted something else other than guilt. And you let her take it.

Then, it was Steve. Of course, it’d be. You had that coming, actually.

She always sorts of venerated the guy. Oh how could he be so strong and never let his morals fade or change? And how could you be surprised when you were locked away on the Raft while she was on the run with Mr. Righteous?

You had your morals too. You had your own code, but this wasn’t what she was looking for. It took a while, but eventually they came after the ones who got arrested. Wanda found Vision and disappeared, Sam joined them while Clint made a deal and went back to his family.

And you? Well, the second you registered the way she looked at Steve as if admiring some sort of God, it was clear that you didn’t have a place with them. She didn’t want a place with you.

Not really surprising was the day she showed up at your door. Her doe eyes pleading innocence, her scent toxic to breathe, toxic to your brain, to your heart. Every time she went away, you felt like an addicted struggling to recompose only for her to come back again and bring your resolve down. Running in circles, relapsing into her arms as if you belonged there.

When she finally opened the door of your apartment, you were on the kitchen counter cleaning the dishes from your failed dinner. You took the last sip from your wine and locked eyes with her over the rim of the glass.

She had the gal to shoot you a small smile, as if she there was nothing wrong about her late arrival, as if there wasn’t any agony inundating your eyes. Right after you finished with the sink you turned and leaned your back on the counter, for her body was blocking your path to the couch.

She was right in front of you with a perfect silk black dress and make-up smudged on the wrong places. You hated it. She took one more step closer and she reeked of alcohol and that cheap colony that belonged to Barnes. You sighed and the floor suddenly felt more appealing than her face.

Natasha flushed her body against yours, her warmth trying to invade your system, and lifted your chin to lock eyes with you again, but you stopped her by taking her wrist and bringing it down. You didn’t want her to touch you, not when you knew she still had the feel of him on her skin.

“What’s wrong, babe?” Her breath hit you full force, now inches away.

“Why do you do this, Natasha?” Your voice was flat, emotionless, just like you’ve been feeling lately. Numb. She took everything she wanted from you and always left you with a void where your heart should be.

“I’m sorry I was late.” Her eyes never flicked with her blatant lie. She wasn’t sorry, not really. “Bucky needed a beer; guess we got a bit carried away.” You sighed, she’s losing her touch with her lies and manipulation.

“So I don’t suppose you, or he, knows what happened for your lipstick to get smudge or for that bruise on your neck to appear.” You were angry, she knew, you hated how she played you like a toy. More so, you hated how you couldn’t break away from her.

She opened her mouth to speak, but you beat her to it. “Can’t you see the poison in us, Nat?” Your eyes stung with unshed tears, burning your very soul. “Is getting hard to breath, to live in this mess, in this smoke of lies you’re spitting at me.” You couldn’t take it anymore; you were hurting too much to forgive or forget.

“What are you talking about? Bucky is just a friend and after Steve, we’ve been trying to cope, we are…” She couldn’t even make an excuse. This was so sick. She was so sick. They have been struggling with Steve going back in time to stay with Peggy, and left Natasha and Bucky behind, but they couldn’t get past it without getting into each other’s bed.

“This is so fucked up. Do you even realize what you’re doing?” You tried to move away from her, but she held you in place, caged between her hips and the counter. “Can’t you see how this is taking every part of me?”

For a second, she was speechless. For a second, the manipulative bitch in her was taken aback and all you could do was to marvel in her beauty, in how her eyes glowed even in the dim light of the kitchen. For a second, you hoped she’d fall into her senses and see how much she had taken from you, how much she asked and failed in delivery.

For a second, you thought she could lie and pretend that she was hurting too, by realizing how much pain she had caused, how many sleepless nights she had caused, but no.

“I don’t understand, babe.” You closed your eyes at her soft voice, trying to lure you in, much like a siren. “I’ve been doing everything in my power to make things right this time. I was… But Bucky and I… It’s complicated.”

Her poor excuses flared the anger boiling in you. She couldn’t even admit her wrongs, her mistakes. If you had to name one single flaw on Natasha, that was it, she couldn’t speak her heart, she couldn’t, for the life in her, speak the full truth once.

Your throat burned with how much you wanted to scream, to yell, to whatever, just to make her feel something. Just to make her show some emotion, anything.

“One moment, Natasha.” Your tone was one octave from yelling, yet she didn’t flinch. “One fucking moment, it was all I’ve asked. And maybe…” All your fury was gone again as if her indifference put out all the fire in you, “maybe my misery would’ve been well spend.”

“I said that I was trying.” She held your hand tight, the alcohol in her breath was intoxicating, poisoning your senses. “And this is me trying, babe.” Her voice was low, raspy in a way that always slipped into the cracks of your resolve.

You sighed and shaking your head you finally pushed her aside and, once free from her hold, you could breathe again. You walked to the couch and let your body to fall, suddenly too heavy, too tired to stay up. You just wanted her to leave again, you didn’t want to continue this conversation.

You were trying to get your bearings, trying to get what was left from your heart when her hands pushed your shoulders behind and after opening your eyes, you saw her straddling your lap, hands on your hair.

You damned whatever god was out there, for she was so damn beautiful and why, in the heavens, had she the power over your heart like this? Natasha felt in your lips like a toxic cigar, one that you couldn’t quit, not when she looked like this, as if she was the face of innocence.

“Give me one more chance” Nat speaks softly, and you tasted the alcohol present on her breath. The smell of another person impregnating her clothes, her skin, was a somber reminder of her infidelity and your heart sank even more.

“I can’t. I’m addicted to you, Nat.” You sighed and begged for heavens to send the willpower you know you lack. “And I don’t wanna overdose.” You closed your eyes, for you couldn’t stand her eyes and the spells hidden within.

You felt her tongue touching your earlobe and soon her nose traced your jawline. You could feel your determination crumbling down, one more time.

“Please.” She pleaded in that tone that was more like a command than a request. The tone she used and always forced you to abide to her wishes. Her blank stare felt as if she was twisting a knife on your heart, and you wished you could grab your feelings from the floor.

In that moment, you were raw, more than broken, Natasha had you cut wide open, not that she would mind. Completely drunk in her, you’d take another hit of her touch, even though you know the high is not enough. But you’re an addicted, after all, such details didn’t matter.

Even after everything she’s done, you’re just not over her yet. Devoid of any emotion, devoid of any self-love, you reply. “Okay.”

[pantoneyoongi]

ttno ; jungkook’s playlist

series ; till the night is over jungkook’s playlist

notes ; 

not listed in any particular order. these are the songs used on the titles for the drabbles that primarily focus on jungkook. there’s also a few songs in here that didn’t make it to the series titles! 

will probably periodically add to this from time to time :) 

click for taehyung’s playlist! 

chances - thuy || (don’t) stay

crush - david archuleta || running from the truth

paper thin - astrid s || secrets

your type - carly rae jepsen || but i can’t get you out of my head

overdose - alessia cara || over love, i over-trust

feels - kiiara || way too much emotion

technically single - tayler buono || can’t call you mine

all in my head - tori kelly || see you with her 

hate u love u - olivia o’brien || like she’s the only girl you’ve ever seen

i hate u, i love u - gnash (ft. olivia o’brien) || lie to me, lie with me ; friends can break your heart too

better man - taylor swift || permanent damage

the worst - jhene aiko || the worst 

i need u - bts || but you’re my everything

does she know - astrid s || are you gonna keep her?

one way lover - eric nam || don’t you ever want to miss me at all? 

favorite crime - olivia rodrigo || let you treat me like that

nothing like us - justin bieber (jungkook’s cover) || nothing like us

shouldn’t have - baek ah yeon (ft. young k) || even if it’s pathetic 

roses - carly rae jepsen || all that we were losing

traitor - olivia rodrigo || i kept quiet so i could keep you 

you let me down - alessia cara || i love you

mono-drama - kim jonghyun 

enough for you - olivia rodrigo 

lose you to love me - selena gomez 

urs - niki 

you’ll never know - ariana grande 

@ my worst - blackbear

stupid - tate mcrae

that way - tae mcrae & jeremy zucker (as rec’d by anon!) 

done thinking - amber liu & gen neo (ft. lxx) 

consequences - camila cabello 

never be me - miley cyrus (as rec’d by anon!) 

same side - jessie reyez (as rec’d by anon!) 

figures - jessie reyez

exile - taylor swift (ft. bon iver) (as rec’d by anon!) 

you’re not sorry - taylor swift 

looks red, tastes blue - mayday parade (as rec’d by @alwaysonmilkyway!) 

never had a chance - katherine li 

backburner - niki