#overall this ended up being a (...mostly) fun playlist

[boy-comics]

Would you write about the moment when each member realized they had a crush/were in love with you?

XDINARY HEROES REALIZING THEY HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU

── .✦ a/n; anon i LITERALLY have a draft for reader realizing they have a crush, it's like you have espn or something. consider this pt. 1??

── .✦ gunil;

he thinks you're cute, in that distant, casual kind of way that one might upon meeting a new acquaintance. cute, and a little closed off. that's okay. he is nothing if not confident when it comes to talking to different kinds of people, even the aloof ones, and also not above sacrificing his dignity to achieve a friendly atmosphere. he would simply like to be your friend.

so when his turn comes around to host a party, he makes sure to invite you. and you show up. you sit on one end of the couch, mostly watching as everyone shouts and laughs, and gunil manages to have a few snippets of conversation with you in between snack runs to the kitchen. no worries, he thinks. you look like you're enjoying the party in your own way, so he focuses on having fun himself.

of course, having fun necessitates at least one "gunil story time," no matter how much the younger ones groan about it.

he gets caught up in the details. it's a funny story, okay, and he wants everyone to know the context so they can better appreciate the buildup. once he reaches the punchline, a solid eighty percent of the room is already yelling or throwing popcorn at him, and he's snickering and basking in their embarrassment—

and then he hears your laughter, brief and almost buried beneath the noise. his head snaps in your direction.

when you notice his sudden stare, you cover your mouth and look away. but the smile remains in your eyes, a genuine smile, and gunil is startled by the sudden flip-flop his heart makes in his chest as you steal another glance.

oh.

maybe being friends isn't exactly what he wants now.

── .✦ jungsu;

you run into each other during lunch break in the cafeteria. a sheepish smile crosses your face when he asks, surprised, why you are here when you're infamous for opting to catch up on work instead, and you explain that you were really craving a big toasted sandwich and fresh fruit.

jungsu laughs. he tentatively follows up with a suggestion to eat together, and thankfully, you agree.

you get your big toasted sandwich and an orange, and he gets his own food, and the two of you seat yourselves by a window to enjoy your meals. it's nice. despite being close acquaintances at best, he feels quite comfortable around you, and by the time he's finished his meal he wishes he had eaten a bit more slowly.

you are carefully peeling your orange. during a lull in the conversation he watches idly; when you catch him, he blushes and apologizes for zoning out.

when you are done, you offer half your orange to him.

he rushes to protest that you need to do no such thing. you were looking forward to eating that orange, and besides, he didn't share his food with you so he'd feel bad taking yours.

to his horror, you seem a bit disappointed.

ah, okay.

fool that he is, jungsu immediately backtracks and says he'll treat you to some sweet bread next time.

the way your expression lightens sets off a flutter in his stomach. he can feel his face redden when he takes half of the orange and his fingertips brush yours, and it deepens, much to his extreme embarrassment, when you tell him he's a sweet guy.

he internally begs himself not to let this happen in the middle of the cafeteria, right in front of you while you’re smiling at him like that.

(of course, his heart does what it wants anyway.)

── .✦ gaon;

there's a kind of close companionship formed by sitting in the backseat of a car together. the two of you often end up there during outings with your friends, owing to the fact that neither of you can drive, so you've quickly become quite familiar with each other.

it's fun. in between sharing snacks and playlists, he finds you clever and quick to laughter and overall very easy to get along with, to the point where he deliberately carpools with you when possible just because he likes being in your presence. people have teased him about it, but he insists that you're simply good friends and have nothing to hide. when he likes hanging out with someone, he's not the type to be coy about it.

such is jiseok's thought process when he slides into the backseat with you for the drive back from the mountains, a grin on his face and jokes at the ready before he's even put on his seat belt.

the car ride proceeds as it usually does, going from loud and chaotic to quiet and mellow, and as the sky changes from orange to dark purple, he notices you starting to doze off.

you could have leaned against the window to sleep. but he had taken the middle seat earlier because you were watching a movie on his phone together, and a person is more comfortable than the cold, hard surface of a car, so maybe it's natural that your weight falls against his. that doesn't stop him from being surprised.

he gingerly takes his earbud out of your ear and peeks at your face.

a soft and fuzzy feeling suddenly overwhelms him. he swallows as he stares at you, not daring to move, your closed eyes and gentle breathing making his cheeks burn hot.

the realization washes over him right then and there. he likes you likes you.

── .✦ o.de;

it happens when you go on a date together.

it's not actually a date. you had finally cut off a rough on-again, off-again situationship with some idiot who never deserved you in the first place, and seungmin had only intended to comfort you with something other than ice cream cartons and endless boxes of tissues, packing you up and carting you off to the outdoor mall to shop with him. seeing sunlight and walking around would do you some good, he had told you.

you surprisingly didn't put up much of a fight. in fact, you're the one who had called it a date, if only sarcastically, muttering something about going on at least one before you die alone.

(yeah, sunlight would do you some good.)

he occupies your thoughts with armfuls of clothes, taking selfies in the mirror, and hyping you up. little by little, it seems to work. the corners of your eyes crinkle when he exits the dressing room in an outfit you had chosen for him, and when you adjust the collar and fold up the sleeves, he is relieved to see the old you shining through once more.

it could have been the moment when you fixed his clothes. but it definitely hits him when you exit the last store and walk down the sidewalk, your arm curling around his as you point out a jewelry store across the street.

he looks over at you, and he imagines what it might be like if this was an actual date, if you not only held onto him but called him sweet names and let your touch linger a bit longer on his collar, and he discovers that he likes the idea a lot.

he blames the heat when you ask why he has suddenly gone quiet. you chide him for not saying something sooner, and seungmin can't help but smile, letting you pull him along to find some shade.

── .✦ junhan;

it's a one-sided rivalry of some sort.

you're the lead guitarist of an up-and-coming indie band, though with no less experience than him. he admires the music that you and your friends produce; you seem nice, too, at least in the way you nod and smile politely at him at festivals. he's too nervous and concerned about his own group's performances to actually talk to you.

your style and quality of sound brings out his competitiveness, he supposes. seeing clips of your rehearsals time and time again pushes him to work hard as well.

when he finds out your band is having a concert on his day off, he decides to buy a ticket.

it's a small venue. he's surrounded on all sides by more people than he would prefer on a saturday night, but he tolerates it, curious as to what a full concert will be like compared to the great but limited setlists he's caught of a glimpse of while waiting backstage.

once you appear on stage and start playing, he quickly finds out. and he's gone.

the reserved admiration he had held for the past few months gives way to something akin to a sucker punch. there's no envy, no desire to measure himself against you. he blinks and leans forward in his seat, watching you play as if it's the last time you'll ever get to do so. when your solo comes up, his heart jumps so strongly he reaches up to press a palm against his chest.

you are beautiful.

── .✦ jooyeon;

for him, it had been love at first sight.

you had both attended the same kindergarten. on the day he'd met you, he had fallen and scraped his knee while running on the asphalt. he had cried and cried and cried, and the teacher, bless her heart, had done her best to soothe him but with little success.

he remembers you just appearing out of nowhere, like an angel. you had held his hand and patted his head, telling him that he would be okay. and he eventually stopped crying.

he had wanted to marry you after that, even though he hadn't quite understood the logistics of marriage quite yet.

he's just a bit younger than you—not by a lot, but enough that you have the societal obligation to look after him, to be someone he can rely on. and he doesn't mind relying on you ... sometimes. it can be fun to enjoy a meal you've paid for, or ask you to style his hair, or rile you up because you've been away for too long and he kind of missed hearing you scold him.

other times, however, he wishes you would notice how much he's grown since you were kids.

he knows you are fond of him, but you have never seemed to consider the possibility that he would want you to rely on him, too. to let him buy you things, offer a shoulder for you to nap on, comfort you when you're upset. and it—well, it sucks.

he plays it cool, though.

(his friends disagree and say his crush on you is so obvious it hurts to watch, but you've never said anything, so you're either pretending out of pity or super dense.)

(he's still not sure if he wants to know the answer.)

[blueberry-pride]

DORM PLAYLIST SCREEN

Playlist screens are back and are here to celebrate over 800+ followers in the past year! Go to my page to see the specials. The Follower Event will be from March 1-25, 2023. Come celebrate with me!

Meaning behind each song:

Heartslabyul "Then she aimed at my chest with love in her eye."- This song overall is catchy, a jumpy song that I'd think would fit Heartslabyul as a whole. Having that whole talk about madness but at the same time just playing it off and like its normal for them. This song sounds mischievous to me, something I see all peeps from this dorm are capable of.

Savanaclaw "We like it dangerous, we like to see you sweat, turn up another notch, you ain't see nothing yet."- This dorm is known for living life on the more rugged and rough side of things, hard work and often times by physical means to get what they want. And just like their dorm leader, they have a few tricks prepared when you least expect it.

Octavinelle "I don't belong among the angels, and baby that's just fine with me."- I like to think Octavinelle students are opportunistic as a whole, see something they like? they'll take advantage of it before anyone does. They can be as nice and as giving as the generous Sea Witch just remember not to go too far into the deep end cuz they sure know how to.

Scarabia "Can we go back, this is the moment. Tonight is the night, we'll fight til it's over."- Honestly one of the best songs at a party sure to get everyone dancing which is why I wanted this song for Scarabia. I see this dorm as both fun and seriousness. Planning and carefully plotting so that they can give it their all and they would still have enough energy in the end. You can't contain them!

Pomefiore "Pop culture was in art now art's in pop culture in me."- I like to think each Pomefiore student has some form of creativity in them and they all would pursue it through hard work to have it in the image that they see fit. A song that I see fit this dorm (one of the reasons being because its freaking Lady Gaga) because everyone here wants to get recognition by showing their own kind of beauty.

Ignihyde "Looking to the ways of the ones before me, looking for the path of the young and lonely."- A dorm that revolves around updating and improving on pre-existing things so that it becomes more stronger and something to better even more so for the next gen of starry-eyed students. Though with their diligent work, it's not shock that this dorm is the most introverted out of all. Mostly focusing and tending to themselves with one another. (Another reason why I chose this song is because its from Wreck it Ralph with the tech and all)

Diasomnia "Tell you you're the greatest but once you turn, they hate us."- I could list a lot of why I chose this song for Diasomnia but generally, it's about the main theme which is...well, enemies. It even says on the wiki, that they have a track record of having students with a lot of magical capabilities. So in a school that trains wizards with said magic, it comes as no surprise that with their greatness comes with people trying to see them as competition *coughs* Savanaclaw *coughs*. But besides that, Diasomnia is a force to be reckoned with and I could see it with this song

[psychedelic-ink]

𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐓 || 𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐥 𝐌. 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐄𝐳𝐫𝐚

pairing: joel miller x f!reader x ezra (prospect)

genre: smut, filth filth filth, minors dni

word count: 3.9k (this was supposed to be 1k smh)

summary: you, joel and ezra spend the night together in an abandoned cabin during a snowstorm.

warnings: established fwb between reader and joel, dirty talking, voyeurism, male masturbation, undisclosed feelings, underwear being used as a gag, overall just messy smut, piv, rough sex

requested by @doctorliamsr

a/n: this is part of the dark hearted people'verse but it can be read as a standalone. Everything you need to know is in the fic, enjoy 🖤

AO3 | Series Masterlist | Playlist

Ezra smells dust. Nowadays that’s all he can smell. But the deteriorating cabin they had managed to take shelter in certainly wasn’t any help to his poor lungs. He can feel the small specks sticking to the inside of his lungs. He hears you in the kitchen, sounds of plates clicking together, and metal pans scraping as you move them around. Ezra doesn’t concern himself with what you’re doing. At least he tries not to. You’re meant to be nothing more than entertainment, a thing that he would need to turn away from soon enough. 

But being on the road for so long, trying to earn their trust— it’s hard to keep the line between caring for and using for nice and fresh. 

Joel isn’t much of a problem. He’s easier to push away. Ezra has no complaints with how the older man views him as; untrustworthy, dangerous, a person that should be put down before they attacked first. Ezra can see it in Joel’s eyes. The hatred. But he can also see something else, an anger in the other that is worth investigating. It’s the type of anger that Ezra could use for himself; the type of anger that needs a release. Ezra had no arguments about being on the receiving end of said anger. In fact, it looked like it might be fun. 

His fingers skim over the shelves, a thick coat of dust seeping into his fingers. He rubs his thumb and forefinger together, the feeling of it makes his teeth grind. 

Lifting his gaze, he skims over the titles. Nothing really that interesting, mostly encyclopedias, some history books…

Ezra’s eyebrows raise when he comes across an old sketchbook. His interest piqued, he picks it up from the shelf. The cover of the book is made of thick, textured leather, worn with age and use. It is a deep, rich brown, almost the color of roasted coffee beans, and is embossed with an intricate design of vines and leaves. The edges of the cover are frayed and soft, as if it has been held and handled many times over the years.

He smooths the pads of his fingers over the surface. He feels every crease, every ripped edge. His pulse quickens, an immediate bond forming between him and this old sketchbook. He doesn’t even know who the owner of it was. With a soft smile, he opens the sketchbook. 

The pages creak and crackle beneath his fingertips, revealing a treasure trove of beautiful artwork. The pages are yellowed with age and dotted with small flecks of ink, evidence of an artist's hand. Each page is filled with drawings and sketches that span the entire spectrum of human emotion, from joy to despair.

The sketches themselves are incredibly detailed and lifelike. There are delicate portraits of people, captured in moments of stillness and contemplation, as well as bold landscapes and cityscapes that capture the beauty and chaos of the world before. Some of the sketches are unfinished, with bold, confident strokes of the pen giving way to lighter, hesitant lines that trail off into nothingness. 

His thumb traces over the lines that disappear, a sense of familiarity warming his chest. Without showing the others, he sneaks the sketchbook into his inner pocket. He might have some use for it later. At the very least he can stare at it when he’s feeling particularly lost. 

The open kitchen area is dominated by a large, rusted stove and a wooden table that has seen better days. Ezra’s eyes move around the wooden exterior, already taking mental notes of what can and can’t be used. The living room is sparsely furnished, with a sagging couch and a few broken chairs placed haphazardly around an unlit fireplace. The atmosphere is heavy with the scent of wood and old smoke. Joel lays on the couch, Ezra can see his boots dangling over the armrest, his body too broad to be contained by such a small and delicate-looking furniture. 

Ezra sees a rusted axe leaning against the wall and a pile of old books and tattered clothes lying in the corner. The boarded-up windows are covered in thick layers of dust, and cobwebs stretch across the corners of the ceiling.

Outside, the snow falls heavily, piling up against the cabin's walls. It seems as though time has forgotten this cabin and the surrounding wilderness has reclaimed it.

“Should I light the stove?” you ask from the kitchen, drawing Ezra’s attention. The question isn’t directed at him, but an answer already lays heavy on his tongue. 

Before he can say anything, however, Joel beats him to it. A rarity. 

“Sure. How else are we suppose’ to eat?” 

“I found some cans,” you offer. “Peach and pineapple. Some tuna as well but I’m not sure if we should risk it.” 

“Let’s just cook the rabbits.” Joel answers, his voice sounding gruff and heavy with sleep. “I shot them for a reason.” 

“We,” Ezra corrects, prompting the twitch of Joel’s left eyebrow. “We shot them for a reason.” 

Ezra can’t help but head towards the couch, he stands above Joel’s head, staring down at the man trying to sleep. He gently nudges the couch with the tip of his boot and Joel begrudgingly opens his eyes, a snarl already forming on his lips. 

“Wouldn’t lighting a fire put us in danger oh macho man?” 

“In this storm, I doubt anyone would be stupid enough to try and get us,” he grunts, closing his eyes once more. Ezra can see the crinkles of his eyes, the crease between his thick brows as he forces his eyes to remain shut. 

“Does that mean we can light the fireplace too?” Ezra teases, knowing that Joel probably checked the wood and that it was probably unusable.  

Joel doesn’t answer him, and his eyes remain shut. 

Rolling his eyes, Ezra turns to you. You seemed to be in a world of your own, struggling with the old stove and poking it with a rusty spatula. 

“Need help there little bird?” he coos, his feet bringing him to the kitchen.

“I told you to stop calling me that,” you huff, but smile nonetheless. “But yeah. This thing definitely isn’t cooperating.” 

Ezra watches as you make a show of your struggle, as if he doesn’t believe you. Your delicate fingers fumble with the kindling. Something warm and sinister coiling in his stomach, he steps closer. He can almost hear your heartbeat, fluttering like a caged bird. 

"Give’em here," he mutters, his voice low as he reaches for the matches. Ezra allows his fingers to brush against yours. He almost groans at the jolt of electricity he feels, a sharp sensation burning him all the way up to his shoulder. 

With a flick of his wrist, the kindling ignites, and the flames dance to life.

Your eyes go wide, a brilliant orange flickering in your eyes. He can’t help but lean in, take a closer look. He’s sure you can feel his breath across your cheeks, warming you from the inside out. Sucking a breath, you pull back, your gaze falling to the rabbits on the kitchen counter. 

“Thanks.” 

“Always a pleasure to be of your assistance,” he answers, lips curling into a cat-like smile. “You two are helping me find my rather precious supplies after all. The least I can do is help prepare dinner.” 

Your silence speaks words. Ezra follows your lead, preparing the rabbit and emptying a couple of cans of peas to go along with it. It’s not as chaotic as it would normally be when dinner is being prepared. There isn’t much to do so your movements are more languid, a simple dance as you occupy each other’s spaces. He enjoys the dance. He enjoys the way you try to avoid him by not making eye contact, but he’s more observant than you and Joel give him credit for. 

He notices the stolen glances. He notices the way Joel stiffens on the couch, trying to catch on to what was happening, while still keeping his eyes closed. 

But by all means, he’s not innocent. Ezra's gaze lingers on your every move, taking in the curve of your neck, the gentle sway of your hips. He wants to grab you by the nape, push you down and fuck you right then and there. Unlike him and Joel, You have an unbridled need to trust others. He likes that about you. He likes that you listen and believe in what he says, despite what your partner in crime might think. 

Placing the pieces of rabbit into the pot, you turn to grab a spoon. 

Ezra feels it before he sees it— The accidental brush of your ass against his groin, your softness and curves forcing him to hold his breath. A hiss makes its way between clenched teeth. The two of them stay like that, your back to his chest, neither one of you daring to move. Your breathing accelerates slightly, the sound prompting him to further close the distance, his body towering over yours. 

Time seems to stand still in that moment, and he’s content to just stay like that forever. Frozen in time. Just like this cabin buried within the snow. 

The fabric of his shirt and pants are rough against his skin, and the feeling only serving to heighten the arousal coursing through his veins. He aches to fill you up, to feel the warmth of your body around him, to finally fuck you until you go stupid. His cock stiffens under his pants, eager to follow the path of his twisted mind.

He can’t help himself, his hands wrap around your waist, pulling you closer. You don’t stop, your movements slow as you allow him to hold you. He can hear the blood rush in his ears, his breath comes in shallow gasps. 

He can feel Joel’s gaze on them both, but Ezra doesn’t stop. 

He’s not a weak man, but he’s not that strong either. That he can fight the temptations

Ezra’s fingers move up your  shirt, gently tracing circles on your skin, his touch light, fleeting like every moment in this world was. He wants more than anything to kiss you, to feel your lips on his, to taste your sweetness. 

But he can’t.

Some part of Ezra wants Joel to get mad, to march over to the kitchen and bend him over. He wants to hear the older man growl into his ear, telling him to behave. Ezra’s heart races at the thought, his mouth filling with saliva not from the scent of rabbit but from the one that seems to despise him. He lets out a slow breath, his fingers twitching and burrowing themselves further into your body. 

Finally, you pull away, your movements a beat too fast, and panicked. 

A chill envelopes him without your heat. He ignores the tug at his heart, the ache in his lower stomach. Ezra turns to cook the peas, but in his periphery, he notices Joel still staring at them from the couch. His gaze is blank and unreadable, but there's something about it that makes Ezra's skin crawl. 

He turns away, focusing his attention on the food, but the moment has already been broken.

The flickering flames are nothing but small ambers warming the late hours of the night. The cabin is a spacious one, filled with rooms, but Ezra had decided to spend time by the fire, leafing through the sketchbook he’d found before dinner. It’s a pleasantly look through. Ezra had missed seeing other faces beside his and those who he was with. He’d forgotten how different people can look. 

He only looks up when the small dots of orange of the ambers also fade away. The cold of the night settles in and he decides to head to bed. They would leave in the early hours of the morning so it’s probably best to sleep early rather than later. Ezra winces at the way his muscles ache, the bottoms of his feet burning with the rough drag of his tattered insoles. He can’t wait to be rid of them. 

Walking through the dark hallway, he wonders where you and Joel are asleep at. Ezra, again, had notices that you and Joel are in some kind of situantionship—he suspects there is more to it— but you two never actually slept in the same room together. He presumes it’s part of the deal you two have going on. 

Ezra’s fingers graze against the worn walls, all the room doors seem to be wide open, not a soul inside. How peculiar. His lips part and he rubs his jaw, he’s in dire need of a shave. 

Once more, he checks the rooms. Nope. There wasn’t a single soul inhabiting these rooms. 

His heart races with the sudden thought that you and Joel might’ve ditched him, but then he calms himself. Takes a deep breath. With the snow laying as thickly as it did outside, it would be suicide to leave. 

So where the hell are they? 

He suddenly catches sight of a faint light in the distance. Intrigued, he quickens his pace and turns the corner to find a covered walkway leading to a small shed.

The walkway is made entirely of glass, with moss and ivy creeping up the walls, the panes reflecting the flickering of the moonlight. Ezra's eyes travel upwards, taking in the sight of the roof, which is covered in a thick layer of snow. The shed itself looks ancient, its wooden walls and door rough and worn.

When he reaches the shed door, he hears heavy breathing and soft moans pouring through the crack of the door. His steps slow. He knows what they’re doing. 

He knows that they’re fucking. 

His breath caught in his throat, he nears the door until he can peer inside. There’s a lantern dimly illuminating the room and he can see your bodies clearly from where he stands. You’re bare naked, hands hanging on a wooden beam for dear life with your breasts pressed against it. Joel looms behind you. Fully clothed, except for his cock that Ezra can see the base of every time the older man pulls his hips back. 

Stupidly, Ezra steps a bit too close, the tip of his boot nudging the wooden door ever so slightly. A creak echoes and Ezra stops breathing. Eyes glued to your moving forms, sweat glistening across your skin, he holds his breath and watches, waiting for one of you to hear him. 

Neither you nor Joel notices the uninvited visitor, too lost in the pleasure, in the warmth—in the act of it all. 

His cock twitches eagerly, growing under the confinements of his jeans. Licking his lips, he unbuttons himself and sneaks a hand down his pants, cupping his erection. The cold that littered his skin melts away, leaving burning ash and coal in its wake. A soft groan echoes in the back of his throat. His fingers squeezing the base, and moving up to swipe a palm over his weeping head. 

He hears your moans, Joel’s grunts. He can’t help it. The other man pounds into you with an intensity and desperation Ezra had only seen in animals. He thinks of the moment in the kitchen, what he thought of when you had your ass pressing against his clothed cock—how desperately he wanted the older man to put Ezra in his palace, how he wanted to feel that anger and hatred being let out against his weaker body. 

Heat builds at the end of his spine, he circles his cock with thick fingers, his lips parted as he comes even closer to the door. He can almost smell the sex and sweat clinging to your skin, he wants to get closer, wants to inhale you and burrow you into his lungs. He gives his cock a not-so-gentle tug, hissing as pleasure pricks at his skin. 

His fingers move faster, spreading the drops of precum over his length. His breathing becomes shallow and erratic. His balls tight as he watches the two of you. The moans and grunts coming from the two of you become a soft background noise, almost like background music to his own pleasure.

He can hear murmuring but can’t decipher the words. Not that he cares. Ezra’s hips stutter forward, every muscle drawn taut, he slides his hand along his length. Joel grabs at something from the side, underwear—your underwear, to be precise. 

His breathing hitches and his heart stops— he watches as Joel brings the fabric to your lips, your moans and words coming only as muffled noises, your eyes rolling back in pleasure. 

Ezra's eyes widen, his body shuddering. He can feel it, he's so close, but he can't bring himself to finish, not yet. He pulls his hand away from his now aching cock and takes a step back, away from the door. His erection still throbbing, he wants to—no, he needs to watch. This is a rarity, something he’s only thought about in the late hours of the night. 

He takes a deep breath, his heart still racing and his cock still pulsing. Gathering his thoughts, he takes a step closer to the door, unable to tear his eyes away from the scene. He can feel his body heating up, his mouth going dry. Ezra reaches down, feels the weight of his balls, and rolls them over his fingers. He has to bite his bottom lip to not make a noise. His nostrils flare as he breathes heavily, the pleasure burning him from the inside out.  

His other hand reaches for his cock, squeezing the head and giving himself hard, slow, strokes. 

Ezra continues to watch, mesmerized. Joel shows mercy and reaches for your mouth. The fabric is pulled away, revealing swollen lips and wet, skin. Joel thrusts harder, faster. His hips move with a frantic rhythm, his grunts becoming louder and more frequent. 

His chest aches, more precum dripping and making a mess of his pants. He hisses through his teeth. 

Ezra’s not sure how much longer he can hold on. 

“You realize he’s watchin’ us right?” 

He grips your hair and tilts your head back, lips finding a spot over the hallow of your neck. Joel bites into the warm skin, his chest trembling with a growl. Your thighs quiver, your insides desperately clenching around his cock. You do realize but you’re too far gone to care. 

And it doesn’t help that your brain purrs at you, telling you how much you’re enjoying Ezra’s hot, heavy gaze on you. 

“You like that he’s seein’ you like this? All fucked out barely able to speak.” 

“S-Shut up, Joel.” 

“You’re a brat.” he clicks his tongue, sharp and loud in your ear. “Takin’ the praise but not takin’ the punishment. That’s not how the world works, honey.” 

Joel takes you harder now, pushing you up against the beam, your body trembling as he drives himself into you. His grip tightens around your waist as he pumps into you. You feel the sweat dripping down your skin, your body for him to use. You clench around him, your cunt dripping down his length and wetting your thighs. A soft whimper parts your lips, the burn in your loins a stark reminder that you’re going to be feeling this tomorrow. 

“I’m startin’ to think you have a little crush on him, sweetheart. Not sure how I feel ‘bout that.” he grunts. “Or maybe you just wanted to rile me up with that little stunt—grindin’ your ass against him,” Joel presses into you deeper, coaxing a shout trembling in your chest. “You know how I feel about sharin’, especially with someone who’s out to get us.” 

“We’ve been on the road for a month. He’s safe. Stop being so paranoid.” 

He cups the back of your neck, thick fingers reaching both sides, he squeezes and pulls your head back. His lips touch the side of your cheek, movements slowing to a torturous grind. 

“It’s been a month and he’s making us go in circles. How the hell are we supposed to find his equipment after so long? He’s stringing us along for his damn pleasure.” 

A grin curls at the corner of your lips. You’re about to say something really stupid, but you can’t help it, you love getting under his skin, pressing his buttons. 

“You like him.” 

“I don’t.”

Suddenly you feel something dry being shoved between your lips. Your eyes go wide when you realize it’s your underwear, the one Joel had been so eager to rip away from you.  Joel clamps a hand over your mouth, his other hand drops to your waist, and blunt nails bite into your skin. 

“I’m sick of your yappin’,” he grunts, hips picking up the pace. “Just fuckin’ take it, I don’t need your needless observations.” 

You bite into the fabric of your underwear, muffling a moan as Joel drives himself into you. His hips thrust up, pushing him deep inside you, his cock stretching your walls. His grip tightens, drawing a sharp hiss from you. You’re so far gone, barely able to focus on anything besides the pleasure coursing through your veins.

Joel’s breath is hot against your ear, his voice a low, rumbling growl. “He’s probably touchin’ himself. Fuckin’ his fist as he wishes it was your sweet cunt instead.”

Your body quivers, a wave of pleasure crashing over you. The thought of Ezra watching, his eyes hungrily devouring you—another muffled moan seeps into the fabric, spit dripping from the corners of your lips. Joel’s thrusts become more desperate, more primal. His fingers dig into your hips, his grunts turning into a feral snarl as he slams into you.

The pleasure builds, every nerve in your body on fire. Joel’s hand tightens around your throat, his thumb stroking your clit as he continues to drive himself into you. You’re so close, your body trembling. With one final thrust, Joel pushes you over the edge. 

He rips the underwear away from your mouth, dropping it to the floor. 

You scream, your voice echoing in the night air. All you can think of is Ezra; the darkness of his gaze, the poetic lilt to his tongue—the way he’s probably fucking his fist just like Joel said. You clench, gushing around his cock. His fingers continue to circle the sensitive bundle of nerves, lighting your fire again and again as his cock strokes your deepest parts.

“That’s it,” he groans, lips pressed against your heat. You tremble at the rasp in his voice. “You like it, don’t you? Being used by one while being forbidden fruit to the other? My insatiable fuckin’ whore.” 

He nuzzles your cheek and it feels like whiplash, but you lean into it, nonetheless. He’s right, you do enjoy it. 

Pulling out, Joel follows shortly after, his body going rigid as he spills himself over the curve of your ass. It’s hot and sears your skin, you wish you could feel that warmth inside, feeling it dripping out of you when he pulls away.  

You collapse against the beam, your body tingling. You’re sweaty and out of breath, but still, your eyes move to the door. You don’t see him, however, you do hear soft footsteps moving further and further away. 

You’re not sure which one of you left the door open, you or Joel. 

[sandalwoodbox]

Vidder asks: 12, 21, 27?

Thanks for asking!

(This is part of the Get to know the Vidder ask meme. See all my responses here and feel free to send me asks!)

12. Most underrated vid that you wished had gotten more views?

I'm going to say Stray Italian Greyhound for Dear Missy. I really like this vid because I think it most accurately summarizes what I see as the plot of the actual series - Lu Ke's journey to recognizing, accepting, and ultimately living her feelings for Shen Siyi. I'm pretty proud of how it turned out, and it can still fairly reliably make me tear up to watch. It's a really great show and more people should watch it! Even with the weird canonical straight ending it's pretty good tbh 🤣 it has things like men and women dating and breaking up and still being part of the same friend group 🤯 what a concept!

But personally I always advocate for just ignoring the heterosexuality in the last six episodes & just watching them for the bonus Lu Ke / Shen Siyi fluff.

21. How would you describe your vidding style?

Answered here with bonus "what is your vidding process" because I got distracted 😅

27. Advice for anyone just starting their channel?

I'm interpreting this to mean "advice for anyone starting out making fanvids"?

I'd say do what you want and don't expect anyone to see it. Exchanges (like Festivids) and cons (like VidUKon, Fanworks, or WisCon) are a great way to "force" people to watch your vids and not get criticism unless you want it. (YMMV - I am not sure what the experience of submitting to AMV contests is like, for example.)

I'd recommend using a modern fully-featured video editing program like Da Vinci Resolve from the beginning rather than something like iMovie - DVR is more complicated but makes it very easy to separate the vid itself from the source files. That is, you can move the files from your hard drive to a backup drive to free up space and work on something else, then put them back later if you want to go back to a previous fandom!

That said, if a low bar of entry is important, iMovie is also fine. Whatever works for you!

Bonus question 1 (from replies): How do you get ideas for vids?

It depends! Sometimes it comes from blorbos or otherwise loving a show such that I want to share it with other people. Other times it comes from frustration with something not being done the way I wanted in the show, or drawing out a theme that I think the show didn't fully explore. A large chunk of my vids are from Festivids, which is great because I can see what ideas other people have and then make treats for them if I'm excited about what they've suggested and think I have time to pull it off (which is usually only possible for movies and for shows I've already (mostly) clipped, in my experience.) From time to time I'll hear a song and think it's perfect for some character or concept, but I'll generally still end up spending a fair amount of time searching for other potential songs before I actually get started on the vid. More often I'll hear a song and think, that would make a fun vid but I don't know what for, so I stick it in a playlist that I go through every time I'm looking for potential vid songs.

If I have an idea for a vid, I write it down in a spreadsheet. I'll never make most of those ideas, either because I've moved on from the fandom or because I just ended up not liking it as much later. Here's a snippet of vids I will probably never make from my spreadsheet in case it's interesting:

Bonus question 2 (from replies): What makes a vid you're working on feel done to you?

I'm a bit of a perfectionist with my vids, so this can be tricky. I think I would say: Once I am satisfied that the clips on the timeline are doing what I want and there are no clips that I believe would be strictly better, I try to stop.

Overall my process is: I'll generally make a first draft that doesn't have things that feel obviously bad (but I might still have things I'm not satisfied with but don't know how to solve). I send that out for beta and work on other things in the meantime. Depending on how much I care about the vid / how uncertain I am about it, I might do multiple rounds of beta or send it to multiple betas at once.

Depending on the vid, I might do a pass specifically looking at clip timing or motion or color correction (for example, making sure dark scenes are possible to parse), or anything else that I particularly want to work well for the vid.

Once I have something that feels "final" I like to let it sit for a week to a month, then come back to it to see if there's anything else I notice that I'd want to change before calling it done.

But a lot of times I'm working on a deadline for an exchange or a con, which means that at some point I just have to stop and call it good enough.

By the time I'm done with a vid, I often no longer feel like I can tell whether it's good or not because I'm too deep in it, so I see things nobody else would. I can't necessarily tell how satisfied I'll be with a finished vid until 6-12 months after I've posted it. (So I try to keep that in mind if I'm agonizing over whether people will notice a cleancredits glitch that's only visible in the lower left corner of a clip for like 4 frames.)

I have a vidder friend who I can show things to at that point not for beta but just to ask, is there anything obviously wrong with this? Any reason I shouldn't post this? (The answer is usually: It's fine, just post it!)

[blorb-el]

hullo! I read your chapter of your au with the Very Horrible Lex and the Very Baby Kon and the Very Sad Clark and i love it sosososo much! The GOOD ANGST my dood.

I want you to know i’ve been daydreaming abt it. Heck, i was daydreaming WHILE reading it- i mean that’s actually normal for me when i’m invested in smthn, but fr i kept getting distracted by So Many Thoughts and Feelings tm. Took me longer to read than it should’ve but rest assured that’s a positive thing!

i read the fic you based it on, and it was great! But so far im liking yours better >v>

I wanna see the rescue and the recovery! I wanna see it get worse first! I wanna see Clark attempt to raise Kon the best he can in the worst of circumstances! The love and human connection thriving even in the midst of a hurricane of cruelty— it’s so good bestie!

uhh anyway! The point of this ask: I wanna know, how did you come up with the title? “We shall be free; we shall find peace”? oVo?

Thank you!! That's basically how it came about, daydreaming about the fic that inspired it!

So I really love the fanfic tradition of using lowercase AestheticTM song lyrics as titles. Fic is already inherently intertextual, and I think it's fun to add another layer of intertextuality onto that; I named one of my other fics with a lyric mostly because 1. the lyric fits their relationship! and 2. the juxtaposition between Wholesome Radio Pop Lyric and soft d/s xeno tentacle pwp still makes me laugh.

At first the draft was just called 'horrible lex au,' and then I thought about using two other quotes before settling on the title. That's the tl;dr of it all, the rest of this is under a cut for plot spoilers for the overall arc of the entire fic, and also so, so much rambling:

The first title I was thinking about was be sure your heart is brave from Aeschylus' Agamemnon, but that quote is the chorus speaking to Cassandra right before she's about to be killed; her bravery is a heavy burden reaction to the monstrous injustices that have brought her to that point, like Clark and Kon... but then she's brutally murdered. Plus the power dynamic situation is... let's say, very different. It's an extraordinary, immortal line but the narrative arc I've got planned strays too far from the original arc, and in the end I decided I didn't want the shadow of a way better tragedy hanging over my little fanfic.

Chorus: Woman, be sure your heart is brave; you can take much. Cassandra: None but the unhappy ever hear such praise.

The next line I was thinking about went too far in the other direction, taste a morning out there, which is from one of the best 'I Want' songs, Out There from the Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame. Quasimodo's story of being thought monstrous and being imprisoned and gaslit by a socially powerful manipulator parallels Clark and Kon better than Cassandra's, but in the end the literal line itself doesn't fit right with either Clark or Kon. Clark, at the beginning of the fic, has atrophied to the point where he can only conceive wanting for such things through wanting them for Kon, and Kon, as we'll see soonish, isn't locked up underground the way Clark is. Plus, the fic is... lighter than the Orestia for sure but a hell of a lot grimmer than Disney, lol. I do have it on my writing playlist though.

So in the end I went back to one of my absolute favorite pieces of media ever, Fidelio. We shall be free; we shall find peace is a line from the Prisoner's Chorus in that opera. The solo prisoner that sings the line invites the rest of the prisoners to begin hoping, and from there, despite the sobering reminders of the dangers they face, that they're being watched, the music swells into a yearning for freedom so powerful it's difficult to understand how it passed the censors in 1805.

First solo: Hope whispers softly to me: We shall be free, we shall find peace. Chorus: Oh Heavens! Salvation! What happiness! Oh freedom, freedom, will you return? Second solo: Speak softly! Be on your guard! [The jailer's] eyes and ears are on us.

And then - the head jailer returns, and the prisoners are brought back to reality, forced back into their dark cells at the end of the act. The temporary respite is over.

Farewell, warm sunshine - how quickly you fly from us. Night is fallen upon us, from which no day shall break.

The simple act of hoping is like a breath of fresh air, temporarily alleviating their suffering, but it doesn't materially change their circumstances; it takes a number of outside forces to do that, which will be paralleled in the fic. Love and hope is all they have, and it's not enough, but it does make the torment bearable until Bruce/Leonora uncovers the extent of The Horrors and Diana/Don Fernando can deus ex machina everyone into the sunlight.

All in all, the line is a very succinct summary of the plot. Clark and Kon will be free, and they will find peace, but they have to find out what both of those mean, reclaiming their agency in the process.

oooor at least that's the plan. chapter 2 is about 90% edited and can probably be ready this weekend, I hit a little plot snag in chapter 3-5 so chunks of that are undergoing rewrites, but the good news there is that the rewrites are SO much better than the original draft and there will be some bats showing up earlier than there otherwise would have been. I did uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh kind of lose my job a few days after posting the first part, so updates will be slower than I'd like, especially since I'll have to move to a different state if I get the positions I'm currently applying to 😓

[ninjabot215]

ITS MUSIC MONDAY BITCHES!!!!!

"Erm exsqueeze me whags a music Monday" you may be asking

ITS WHEN I POST A BUNCH OF MUSIC I'VE BEEN LISTENING TO, BUT ON A MONDAY

IF YOU WANNA REBLOG WITH A BUNCH OF MUSIC YOU'VE BEEN LISTENING TO, THATS COOL AND YOU SHOULD TOTALLY DO IT

ALSO ITD BE COOL IF YOU WROTE A COUPLE WORDS ABOUT WHY YA LIKE THA SONG (if you feel like it but if you don't want to that's also valid I just want more cool stuff to listen to 👉👈)

oki anywho here we go :3

I fucking love furries throwing a shit ton of drums and bass over sped up / pitched up 2000s music. Gotta be one of my favorite genders. Like the super loud bass during the back half of this song makes me wanna throw my body around like a gmod ragdoll in a old tf2 machinima.

Just a genuinely really good mashup of two excellent songs. Makes me feel some form of odd sadness that I can't really describe. 10/10 would decompose in my bed again.

Really good mix that unlike a lot of Waters of Nazareth mixes doesn't go super overboard. Manages to juggle the 11 (!) songs its using really well and is one of my go to songs to put on while absolutely throwing my "academic career".

Good classic hardcore complete with a goofy whimsical ass section in the middle of it. Uhh like seriously the part starting at 2:21 is so different from the other halves its sandwiched between I love it so much. Also there's an assload of ytpmvs of this song.

I love this song so fucking much. Peak tbh. The fucking guitar, the little sad section where the vocals gradually layer and build up to the finale, Just the overall vibes, its all just so good. Also Weezer lmao.

I cant even begin to explain what a mashup tournament is concisely in this already long-ass post so this is gonna be complete nonsense if you don't already know what I mean. This is probably one of the best songs from the entirety of TFA, perfect representation of the contestent its for. The fuckin part where Lifetime Achievement award gets pitch-corrected to sound like Harder Better Faster Stronger makes me levitate. Leans a little too hard into FNAF sources near the end but otherwise balances H3M's arsenal really well.

Another song from a mashup tournament, but a different one. Pretty much exactly what a good bracket theme needs to be, its hype as all hell and showcases all the characters really good while still being mostly cohesive. Its a miracle that a mashup of 29 songs goes as hard as it does without anything going too off-beat / key.

Its fucking Spiderwebs. If you haven't heard it just listen to it. Its so good. I can't explain why I like it better than the song itself can.

I mean come on. The sampling in this is insane. The flow makes me vibe outside of safe operating limits. I just love how the chords bounce around inside my head.

A really good reimagining of one of my favorite albums of all time. I actually kinda like some of the songs on this more that the original album (shoutout to Superheros for using the whos been sleeping in my bed sample more that shit goes so hard) and the new vocals are all really good too. I love the fact that its also half mashups - half complete remakes / remixes, gives the best of both worlds. Obviously the original Discovery album is still the goat and this wouldn't exist with out it but I still really appreciate this for what it is.

If you made it this far thanks for reading my deranged rambling and listening to my wack musical tastes. It was fun to write this so I'll probably keep posting these on Mondays until I get bored or forget. I would really appreciate it if you posted some music you like in the reblogs because I'm trying to make my bigass unorganized playlist bigger so any help is good. Anyhow thanks for reading / listening byeeeeee

[negative-speedforce]

OC Fandom Asks! For Kayla and Siv please

1, 3, 7, 10, 15, 19, and 29?

1: Was your OC influenced or inspired by any particular fictional character(s) when you made them?

Kayla is loosely based on the ORIGINAL-original version of Siv, the one from 14-year-old me's DC/Marvel/Percy Jackson/Star Wars crossover. I had some really cool concepts for the later chapters of that one, and I decided to recycle them into a whole new character.

Siv is quite literally the product of a dream I had when I was 13, but overall, while I mostly base my characters' stories and personalities off their playlists, her personality has been influenced by a whole lot of characters. They were influenced by Cassandra from Tangled: The Series, Natasha Romanoff, Reva from Kenobi, Adrien from Miraculous, and a whole lot of other characters from fandoms I've been into over the 7+ years I've had them.

3: What genre would your OC do badly in but it would be hilarious or interesting to watch?

Kayla would absolutely SUCK in a rom-com. First of all, she aroace-spec, second of all, she does not know how to talk to girls- at all. It would low-key be pretty funny to watch her fumble around like that.

Siv would loathe being in a Regency period drama. All those rules and restrictions for how you have to be- she wouldn't be able to stand it. She'd probably end up going apeshit and destroying the castle.

7: If your OC had to cosplay as a fictional character, who would they choose?

Kayla normally isn't the cosplaying type, but I think she'd have a lot of fun dressed up as Sam from Totally Spies.

Siv would probably dress up as some kind of creature from Star Trek. I'm not sure what, but they'd pull it off really well nonetheless.

10: How would your OC do in the last book/movie/tv show/game/etc. you read/watched/played?

Oooh I watched Birds of Prey yesterday with my Grandma (it is her favorite movie) so this will be fun-

Kayla absolutely slays. She's got that vaguely morally gray component to her character that means that she'll probably get along with most of the main cast. Though Harley's personality would probably give her a headache.

I'm actually planning an arc where Siv has to team up with Harley and the Birds of Prey for... plot reasons! I feel like she'd get along best with Dinah and Helena for obvious reasons, but ngl I'm mostly planning this arc because I have the idea of Siv snapping at Harley and telling her to shut up/stop being annoying/etc, and Harley goes all psychiatrist on her.

15: How well would your OC do in a standard slasher movie?

Kayla, being a secret agent, would fare pretty well. Her skills in recognizing patterns and taking down supervillains would be invaluable in a slasher film.

Siv, if they weren't the slasher themself, would definitely make it to the end, and probably end up slashing the slasher.

19: If your OC was in Star Trek’s Starfleet, what would be their role/position? Or, if that doesn’t really fit your OC: why would they get kicked out of Starfleet?

Kayla, being a biomedical engineer in real life, would probably be either the chief medical officer or an engineer in Starfleet.

Siv would get thrown out of Starfleet for starting too many fights and overwhelming her ship's medical supplies with all the injuries she's caused.

29: Gun to their head, what is your OC’s fursona?

I don't even know if Kayla really knows what a fursona is, but if she had to chose, I think she'd go with some kind of bird. Like maybe a blue jay or some other kind of corvid?

Siv isn't a furry, but she made up a fursona as a joke with her friends in high school. It's a lynx that wields a giant battle axe.

[animelover20]

🎶✨when u get this, list 5 songs u like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (positivity is cool)🎶✨ !

Oooh now this is the shit I like seeing at 6 in the morning😃 thank you, I actually really like talking about my taste in music. Sorry if I ramble on a bit too much than what you were expecting tho I'm just really excited.

I'm guessing these don't have to be in any specific order so they ain't. Btw artist names are in bold because it looked too confusing otherwise.

Most of these are either gonna be metal,loud as fuck/chaotic, just weird or sometimes even a mix of all of those.

1. Hand me my shovel I'm going in! - will wood and the tapeworms. It's fun as fuck plus the songs been theorised to be about mental health and how the person singing isn't 'sick' enough to get help. (Which is backed by a few lyrics especially "so I bookmark my DSM cause I need you to remember my place".) It's such a cool and fun song because of how chaotic it is and will wood and the tapeworms are one of my favourite bands overall so don't be surprised if they appear a few times😁

2. Death - Æther realm. You've probably never heard of it but it's really cool. You won't like it if your not a fan of death since that's the whole song. Essential made an album based off tarot cards which is such a cool concept(I love tarot btw) but I've only listened to this one so far. Anyway onto the meaning. It's an extremely positive song about death and it actually applies to a lot of my beliefs on death aswell. Instead of describing death as this horrible thing it's so much more peaceful. With a few lyrics being("if I had another chance to live I think id rather be dead" and the one that follows every chorus being "if this is really death then it's not so bad.")I really hate death being seen as a negative thing because frankly it isn't. It's a comforting concept. at the end of the day,no matter what you do,no matter how you live, death is going to come for you. And you know what that's ok. It's one of my favourite songs for this reason. And I know not everyone will agree with me but that's fine.

3. Per Aspera ad inferi - Ghost. I will just quickly mention, they are a satanist band,if you're not into that then ya know don't be mean,their songs go hard lmao. Anyway i am not apart of their religion but I respect it. Anyway the name is essentially a play on the Latin phrase 'through hardship to the stars' or Per Aspera astra.' (rough translation btw) whereas the song name instead translates to 'through hardships to hell.' which is so fucking cool. It's catchy as fuck song and I find it getting stuck in my head a lot.

4. Necromancin Dancin - Bear Ghost. It's just a really fun song,chaotic as fukc too. Plus the thought of people just being revived just to start dancin is really funnym. Added bonus that is song is in my doffy playlist (because of the whole controlling people I thought why not be able to do it to corpses aswell😃) it's actually the only song so far to be apart of said playlist but that may change as I go. I don't know if this song has any specific meaning either then necromancer making people dance. But it's pretty good.

5. Take me back to Eden - sleep token. Ok so I've been making this list up as I went which is why I said in 4 that there might be another song from my playlist and what I said could change and it did. This song is in my doffy playlist and it's actually the song that inspired the playlist in the first place so,hats off to it. Anyway yay metal. Loud, amazing vocals and metal? What more could you ask for. It's mostly been attributed to doffy because of the whole theme of being thrown out of this holy place and desperately trying to get back which...(If you know you know.) I fucking love this song so much and I am genuinely out of words to describe it.

And that's about it I think I'm happy with this. Anyway again thank you for making my morning and giving me something to do that I actually really enjoy. Sorry if this is a ramble I just really like music.

I hope you have a great day/night❤️

[kneeslapworthy]

What I think TMBS characters’ Spotify Wrapped would look like based entirely on vibes and my incredibly biased opinions:

Reynie

Reynie is introspective, the most openly emotional one in the group (i mean he literally declared how much he loves hugs in the S2 finale) and I 100% headcanon him as a hopeless romantic. We also know that he really likes literature and language, so I think he would like music that puts a lot of emphasis on lyrics. The first obvious artists I could think of were artists like Taylor Swift or maybe Conan Gray, and while he would probably enjoy these artists, I get the feeling he probably leans more indie-folk (because he’s a hipster and we all know it). Cat Stevens, Joni Mitchell and maybe even Bob Dylan would suit Reynie’s confessional and heart-on-his-sleeve sort of attitude. For his more casual listens I could see him enjoying the likes of Fleetwood Mac, The Zombies and for more modern music perhaps Lucy Dacus, Flyte and Fleet Foxes. Now Reynie is definitely the type of person to have a ton of hyper-specific playlists for every single emotion he’s feeling and he also makes playlists for his friends and family all the time (he’s the sole cause behind Mr Benedict’s embarrassing 80s synth-pop phase). Ms Perumal plays a lot of Norah Jones, Duffy and Amy Winehouse so naturally, that trickles down into the bottom tracks of Reynie’s Spotify Wrapped list. 

Top artist: Fleetwood Mac

Top track: Wild World - Cat Stevens

Sticky

While I could easily dismiss Sticky by saying that he probably only listens to classical music because that’s what smart people do that’s boring so let’s. have. fun. Given Sticky’s anxiety and overall state of mind, I think he would enjoy artists like Leith Ross and Orla Gartland whose music he can easily relate to. I also think he’s the kind of person who listens to everything his friends (though mostly Reynie let’s be honest) recommend, so his Spotify Wrapped would be a weird mix of everything from show tunes (thanks to Mr Benedict) to metal to hip-hop. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that Sticky likes to listen to male manipulator music, but not because he’s actually like that, he just appreciates the music (plus some “cool” people at Boatwright recommended it to him). So The Smiths, Radiohead and dare I say Weezer would be on his playlists. I feel like Sticky is the type of person who reads/studies in complete silence, but for those moments when he wants some ambience I can totally see him pulling out some nice jazz records. Sticky likes to be organized, so he has playlists divided by genre and artist (though not so much the overall mood of the music). 

Top artist: Orla Gartland

Top track: Back To The Old House - The Smiths 

Kate

My headcanon is that most of the music Kate knows is from the circus where every night they’d get together and play on some janky DIY instruments and out-of-tune guitars (Kate would play a washboard or kazoo. argue with the wall). So when she finally gets the chance to listen to recorded music, she naturally gravitates towards what she recognizes. This ends up being a lot of classic rock like The Rolling Stones, AC/DC and of course Joan Jett & the Blackhearts as well as more folk-style musicians like Bob Dylan and The Mamas & The Papas. I can also see her and Milligan sitting together out on the farm and enjoying a Bob Dylan or Patsy Cline record together. Because of this, Kate doesn’t listen to a lot of newer music, but like Sticky, she’d be open to most genres and whatever her friends recommend. As a result, I think Kate would have the widest range of genres on her Spotify Wrapped. On the one hand, I feel like she’d be drawn to Florence + The Machine and Odie Leigh, but I can also picture her sitting in one of the apple trees at the farm blasting some The Cranberries or Green Day when she’s feeling extra angsty. Maybe even something more Soul/R&B like Al Green and Lauryn Hill? Despite this large variety, Kate would also be the type of person to have just one playlist titled “Kate’s Playlist” that contains like a thousand songs (it hasn’t been edited in four years and she skips most of the songs). 

Top artist: The Rolling Stones

Top track: Crimson and Clover - Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, 

Constance

Given Constance’s vocal distaste for rhyming poetry, I get the feeling that she would have an equally vocal distaste for music. She’d call it “grating noise for simpletons” or something, but Mr Benedict gets her a Spotify account anyways because he just knows. And indeed, when no one’s around, Constance will blast some aggressively juvenile pop and dance around her room, because ultimately, she’s still a child. I feel like she would also love The Oh Hellos (who don’t fit into the “aggressively juvenile pop”-category, but still) and their storytelling. We do learn that Constance does appreciate art, so I think an artist with a particularly striking voice like Leontyne Price or Luciano Pavarotti (both Opera singers) would move her to tears. Overall, however, I feel like Constance doesn’t listen to a whole lot of music and when she does she doesn’t pay much mind to the artist. She also refuses to have any playlists (except for the ones she’s created by accident). 

Top artist: Honestly, who knows (in my heart of hearts i want to say Carly Rae Jepsen just to be chaotic) 

Top track: Soldier, Poet, King - The Oh Hellos

Bonus! SQ (because i love my son) 

Much like himself, SQ would like music that’s softer and sad as hell. The first to come to mind are Sufjan Stevens, Bon Iver and Gregory Alan Isakov (and I know for a fact that SQ listens to Phoebe Bridgers and Boygenius). But I could also see artists like Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds and The Smiths with their more upbeat melancholia be added to his playlists (along with any song about having a complicated relationship with your father/parent). Apart from that one cursed scene in S2, we don’t see Curtain enjoying any music, but I can definitely see him making sure that SQ doesn’t listen to anything he deems “unsophisticated” or “vulgar” (so no Rage Against The Machine for SQ unfortunately). When Curtain and SQ do listen to music together, it’s often classical music when they’re sitting in silence together in Curtain’s office. Since SQ is a very creative person, I can see him being drawn to more experimental stuff like Björk, Radiohead or Kino. 

Top artist: Sufjan Stevens 

Top track: Should Have Known Better - Sufjan Stevens

[linka-from-captain-planet]

⭐

I can never think of titles, so most of my fics are titled with song lyrics. I was from the songfic generation so maybe it just stuck. If I know what I want to write, sometimes I find a song to match the overall vibe and listen to it on repeat for hours while writing. It helps me zone in and get into the feeling. Sometimes the exact lyric I find the most *THEM* doesn't work as a title and it's a travesty tbh.

I'm also on team All Lower Case for no reason except that I think it looks better.

Cursed? playlist below cut, with further notes

Not a song title: An Anthology of Trib...ulations, but it is a tribbing joke, so. Although I don't think I ever got around to that particular act before I lost steam.

when my blue moon turns to gold again (Shadowheart/Lae'zel, warning for major character death) is from an Elvis song with the same title. It fits within the sad-joyful tone because the song is about how happy the singer will be when their lover returns to them, and how they'll never let them go again, but Shadowheart finds peace and joy in the part of Lae'zel that does return to her, even though she comes to learn Lae'zel has perished in the githyanki liberation battles. ALSO, this song is on the soundtrack of Desert Hearts, which is the greatest lesbian movie to ever exist.

green on the vine (Shadowheart/Nocturne) is from "Strawberry Wine" by Deana Carter which has the line, "my first taste of love, oh bittersweet / green on the vine." The song is about a young love that fizzled out, but the singer looks back on it fondly because it was such a formative experience. So that's very Not the Experience Shadowheart and Nocturne had, and ironic because Shadowheart can't reminisce about her first young love. I chose 'green on the vine' as a title because it invokes the image of a fruit plucked too soon and made bitter, much like the way Shadowheart and Nocturne's relationship was cut short over and over by the demands of the cult.

mirage (Shadowheart/Nocturne, Shadowheart/Alfira) is the title of a song by Sylvia and this one is pretty on the nose. In this fic, Shadowheart sees Nocturne all around her as she engages with the Emerald Grove and meets the Dream Visitor. But this song is about being misled/manipulated by a lover, so it mostly refers to the Emperor using Nocturne's image to manipulate Shadowheart.

solitaire (Alfira/Lakrissa) is the title of a Carpenters song, about a lonely man who isolates himself and keeps himself from connecting with others and finding love. I imagined Lakrissa pushes others away with her flippant attitude and pessimism, and isolates herself (notice she sits alone talking to herself in the grove) and her experience in Moonrise is what motivates her to open up and accept the friendship and, in Alfira, the love that other people offer her.

like a candy to an apple (you're so sweet on me) (Alfira/Lakrissa) is from "It's Whatever" by Aaliyah. This is my Official Alfira/Lakrissa song imo, it captures the sweet, supportive, and romantic vibe I love for them perfectly. The whole line is, "like a candy to an apple, oh we go together / you're so sweet on me." This is a fun, romantic, sexy fic, so the song fic captures it perfectly. Definitely listen to this one if you don't know it, it's a favorite and everyone should know Aaliyah!

hold you like a python (Minthara/Florrick) is from "National Anthem" by Lana Del Rey, with the line being "I sing the national anthem while I am standing over your your body / hold you like a python." I always loved the imagery of this line, of squeezing the life out of someone to feed on them and feed one's own ambitions and that's kind of what's going on with florrithara in this fic. There's no romance yet, no feelings--just two powerful women engaged in this mutual chokehold, neither willing to back down, but sure to end with someone's guts on squeezed out on the floor.

lay you down on a bed of roses (Minthara/Florrick) is from "Bed of Roses" by Bon Jovi, in the line, "I'd like to lay you down on a bed of roses / but tonight I sleep on a bed of nails". I really don't have an excuse for this except I was like 'Minthara would love Bon Jovi' and I listened to this song on repeat for hours while writing that fic.

Minthara/Florrick also are part of a series, so they get a series title as well: "I could liken you to a werewolf (but I admit I provided a full moon)". This is from "Werewolf" by Fiona Apple which I think of as the florrithara theme song. It's about an unsalvageable relationship, and that's Minthara and Florrick. The line is truncated from the first two lyrics, but I'm gonna list about the first five lyrics because that's what I think of for this song and ship:

I could liken you to a werewolf the way you left me for dead but I admit, I provided a full moon. I could liken you to a shark, the way you bit off my head but then again, I was waving around a bleeding open wound. But you were such a super guy till the second you get a whiff of me. We're like a wishing well and a bolt of electricity

[oldfashionedmorphine]

⭐ Directors Cut on curating your soundtrack for On The Same Frequency. How was the process for that and incorporating them into the story? What was the writing process like incorporating the songs? No pressure of course to answer this.🫂

hi hello!

this is an interesting question for sure…

i have to say it evolved a lot over the duration of writing.

but first, here is the playlist for anyone who hasn’t listened to it yet:

okay so…

very early on i decided i wanted to pick instrumental songs for this story over songs with lyrics…at least, i wanted the playlist to feel like it could be a soundtrack to a movie because the story is inspired by a movie…and initially i only had a few songs when i first started writing back in august (mostly songs from the big giant circles album there came an echo—which was because of the song outside the realm that plays during the “crazy together” scene, and i also had some from the stranger things OST too)

but in between writing i would spend some time looking up songs, usually starting with similar artists to the songs i already had and honestly i have to say it was kind of a rabbit hole situation with how i ended up with most of them—though sometimes i specifically looked something up, like “synth style christmas songs” which is how i found joy to the synthwave world and holiday nights and i also added a lot of the OST songs from the movie archive because i watched the movie in october and thought they fit well.

and after doing all that i ended up with a playlist that was close to 8 hours long and made up of 126 songs (the unofficial version)…but i wanted to narrow it down so it wasn’t so long (official playlist is like 53 songs and 3 hours)…..and my main reason for doing that was so that (if you’re someone like me) you could have it play in the background while reading to set the mood….

and i narrowed it down by simply reading through each finished chapter while listening to the songs to decide if they fit the vibes for the scenes (a rather time consuming process, haha)—oh and i even created separate chapter playlists while i was figuring this all out too (which outside the realm being a song for ch 4 shouldn’t be too surprising lol) because i took it a step further and tried to keep the duration/length of each chapter playlist to the average reading speed for the overall word count of each chapter (if that makes sense…like ch 6 being 10k words meant that i tried to add songs until the chapter playlist was somewhere around 30-40 mins long…….) of course, it doesn’t work for everyone because reading speeds are different, but each chapter playlist is timed for average reader speed (although i messed around with the songs for ch 5 after posting the fic and idk if that one still times well to average speed since i haven’t gone back and checked it, oh well) but uh……it was honestly a super ridiculous thing to try and do and most people don’t even listen to fic playlists (and especially while reading) but i had at least one person appreciate it (shout out to bre @magentamee) so that’s good enough for me!! 😅

oh and it also felt kinda obligatory to start the playlist off with the stranger things theme song…and after listening to several remixes of it, i found one that had an “end credits” sort of vibe and so that’s how i picked the final song :D

FUN FACT: the song “nightsky” by tracey chattaway was added sometime in september or october and i listened to it on repeat while writing so many times that it ended up being my top played song for the whole entire year according to my apple replay lol (it’s not my fault she put drugs in that song)

which songs did you enjoy the most? 👀 and please, feel free to send me another ask if you want! ;)

[corishadowfang]

Dandelion Seeds Fic Notes

So Dandelion Seeds!  It’s definitely been a journey.  Dandelion Seeds is an incredibly long fic, but one that also ended up being very fun to write and very close to my heart.  It ended up catapulting me back into fic writing after like...four years, haha, and was an amazing experience overall.

But now that the fic’s over, I have kind of some behind-the-scenes notes/thoughts, in case any of you are interested in that.  Threw everything under the cut to save people’s dashes.

First up—the playlist!  It’s, uh…a bit more haphazard than what I had for On the Edge of Daybreak, haha.  A lot of it was just random stuff I listened to that reminded me of the story (which was then thrown very haphazardly into an actual playlist for this…).  It’s kind of a mix of character songs and things that felt like they fit the overall themes; I tried to organize it into some sort of order, but uh…it’s still pretty loose. (The acoustic version of Wolves by Aviators is an honorable mention, and wasn’t added because it more fits my thoughts about Missing-Link Brain and/or Luxu than anything in Dandelion Seeds.)

The original idea for Dandelion Seeds came about in like…2019, I think? I say ‘idea’ like it was an actual original thing, haha, but it was more of, “Man, I wish we got to see more of the Union Leaders being friends and stuff.”  Days was pretty heavily on my mind, too, because it’s one of my favorite Kingdom Hearts games, so I ended up taking a lot of inspiration from that.

I mentioned this in the author’s notes of the first chapter, but Dandelion Seeds was basically meant to be something that was very easy and fun for me to write, compared to the relatively boring stuff I write for work and the much heavier stuff I write for my original stories.  That’s kind of why I went with a very episodic structure with no ‘official’ update schedule; that way, even though there was technically an overarching plot, I could keep it pretty loose and write whatever I felt like at the time, and I didn’t technically have to update at any point. It’s also why chapters had very little editing; if I was going to edit something, it was usually the bigger chapters (backstory and finale chapters) or because I just really didn’t like a certain character interaction or plot point, and even then, I mostly just focused on fixing character/story issues rather than prose problems.

I still ended up having a ‘pseudo update schedule’ because that’s apparently been ingrained into me.

Originally, Dandelion Seeds was going to be written in non-chronological order. I’d wanted to do it this way largely because then I could write whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted—and it was literally planned this way right up until I wrote the first chapter and decided, “No, I think it’d be easier for everyone to follow if I just did it chronologically.”  In some ways, the non-chronological version would’ve made things easier—since, again, I could just do stuff whenever—but I think doing things in chronological order was probably better in the end, since otherwise I would’ve had to keep a lot more careful track of character development and plot changes over a non-linear narrative. This…required less outlining and editing.

The first thing I ever wrote for Dandelion Seeds was the beginning portion of chapter 13!  It was written…a little over a year before I actually committed to writing Dandelion Seeds, I think?  Anyway, even though I played around with ideas for the story for a while, it took until the UX finale to give me that final push to actually write a full chapter, haha.

Speaking of ideas for the story—some character arcs and backstories changed a lot between my initial ideas and first contact with the story! Like—I’ve mentioned before that falling in love with Skuld and Brain’s friendship was unexpected, which is still true, but it’s not the only thing that surprised me.  For example: Skuld’s entire character arc changed upon writing the first chapter. Originally, she was outwardly not super affected by the Keyblade War, and internally she was kind of bothered by the fact that she wasn’t more distressed.  And then I wrote her line about the Foretellers in chapter one and went, “Oh, no—she’s angry.” And her character kind of developed from there.  Brain had a bit of a different backstory, too; originally, while he still had a strained relationship with his mom, it was less because she was a bad parent and more because the two of them had trouble connecting with each other as he got older.  He also had a stepmother and step siblings that he had similar trouble connecting with—though in this case, it was because he was already in Daybreak Town when his mom remarried—and ended up viewing Ava as somewhat of a surrogate sibling.

Because a lot of Dandelion Seeds was only very loosely planned, there were a lot of ideas that ended up on the cutting room floor.  For example: there was originally going to be a chapter where Skuld and Lauriam’s very different styles of interacting with siblings clashed with each other in regards to Ven.

For the finale chapters, I originally started writing out transcripts of some of the canon scenes (using Everglow’s videos as reference) to try and make adapting them easier.  I got through the stuff in Ven’s chapter, did a little for Lauriam’s chapter, and then just…kind of stopped and ended up rewatching the cutscenes a lot to grab the info I needed, haha.  The few transcripts I wrote are here in case anyone ever wants to use them.  I don’t actually know how useful they are—and it’s entirely possible actually transcripts exist somewhere and I just…made a lot of extra work for myself—but you know.  They’re here.

The title Dandelion Seeds is…well, probably pretty self-explanatory, but it kind of came about because I wanted something that both referenced the Union Leaders/Dandelions/UX in general and referenced the fact that it was basically a collection of inter-connected one-shots. And since one-shots are technically supposed to be small…like seeds…I don’t know, I also just thought it was a cute title.

This is officially the longest story I’ve ever written.  It also has the longest chapter I’ve ever written.  While I’m proud of just how much I managed to write—and had a lot of fun writing it!—I also hope I never write something this long ever again.

(Please refer back to this in x amount of years when I inevitably write something else stupidly long.)

Some people have said that Dandelion Seeds has made them love the UX cast more (which makes me so stupidly happy), but the secret is, it kind of did the same for me.  I was already attached to the UX cast, but something about living with these kids in my head for over a year made it like...ten times worse, haha.  

Writing the story also gave me a whole new appreciation for the story of UX in general—especially the finale chapters.  (Though if I ever have to write the confrontation with Darkness again, I will probably cry.)

Thank you to everyone who followed along with the story!  It’s been an amazing journey, and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

[lynne-monstr]

Fic Writer Interview

i was tagged by the lovely @forerussake, thanks so much!! what a fun list of questions. alright, here goes

name/nicknames: lynne

fandoms: mostly the king’s avatar these days, though i lurk and read fic in others

two shots: i’m assuming this is a two part fic. i don’t think i’ve ever written any of those, at least not deliberately. I do have a two chapter fic but the chapter break was added specifically to integrate my big bang artist’s piece into the fic, it wasn’t originally by design.

fic - Five Times Yu Wenzhou Gets Stuff Thrown At His Head and the One Time He (Finally) Catches Something

most popular multi-chapter fic: haha well i write almost exclusively one-shots so there’s not much to choose from. 

and anyway, metrics are a finicky thing.

by kudos, Dressed for Sin (Shadowhunters) is the most popular. But that’s just because it’s the biggest fandom i’ve written multi-chapter fic in. By relative popularity within the fandom, this one would probably be pretty low on the list. But it’s one of my favorites because i got to write one of my favorite tropes: alternate first meetings.

fic - Dressed for Sin                                

Since it’s the end of the year i can indulge in a little navel gazing and say that my most popular fics overall were in leverage fandom, probably due to the size of the fandom at the time and writing What Fandom Wanted (ot3 with a focus on eliot, getting together fic with feelings).

If I was going to list my Most Popular (TM) fic based on my vibes for relative fandom popularity I’d probably say the de-aged ywz fic. I wouldn’t say it’s a popular fic overall, but in terms of what i’ve written, i feel like it’s the multi-chapter that’s gotten the deepest engagement. lol maybe because it’s the longest.

fic - Means of Transportation

lol that was a lot of words for someone who has written prob less than 10 multi-chapter fics but the year is ending and is there a better time to be self-indulgent?

actual worst part of writing: when i know exactly what i want but i just can’t get the words right. either because i don’t know exactly how to shape the plot or because the vibes are off or because i just can’t wrangle the dialogue or characterization. knowing what i want and being unable to get there is incredibly frustrating.

how do you choose your titles: I cry.

(okay, i actually do have a document where i keep snippets of lyrics and poetry but tbh they rarely come in handy. a lot of times i just blindly google lyrics to songs on my spotify playlists and hope for the best. my favorite is when i can snip a piece of narrative or dialogue to use as a title but oof the stars really have to align for that to work)

do you outline?: if the fic is longer than a scene or two, yes. it’s very helpful to know where the story is going. i also color code my outlines as I write (green, orange, red for written, in progress, and haven’t started writing yet) so i can get a quick view of where i am.

sometimes my outlines start as rambles and end up as real writing and then i can copy-paste that part of the outline into the actual fic and that is very satisfying.

callouts @ me: write that stupid, self-indulgent, silly idea!! it doesn’t have to be good, it doesn’t have to be a complete idea, it doesn’t have to be anything but fun. also, don’t feel bad about writing fifty thousand fics for the same pairing, you’re not here to be well-rounded, you’re here to have fun.

best writing traits: when i’m determined and in the midst of a project, i can be very good at sitting down regularly and doing 500 words of writing a day. which is wonderful for making progress. also i often get compliments about my characterization and humor in my fic, which i work very hard at.

spicy tangential opinion: i’m sure i have many of them but as usual, when i am asked to list them, they all *poof* into thin air. I have a not-so-spicy opinion that I hate 97% of epithets I come across and would like to throw “the smaller male” into the sun.

tagging: @glorious-spoon, @junemermaid, @afincf-tirwer, @tehfanglyfish, @beatperfume, @undead-robins, @gingersnapwolves, @la-muerta, @vampirenaomi, @dirty-corza

[wordsandsound14]

Top 50 songs of 2022

This list has been the death of me lol. I have listened to this playlist fully three times (3h 16m long playlist) and made multiple changes and I’m still not 100% sure if it’s in the right order. However, there’s only so long I can rearrange this playlist to really make sure it fits with my opinions. I do feel like I have it placed well but that’s not to say that I’m still not iffy about a couple placements. I have to move forward tho and share the delight of music I have found. When I started the year end rankings, I think I was a little over 200 songs from this year and I dwindled it down some to about 120-ish (mostly finding my favorites from albums were those cuts) and another cut was at 79 before I made the final decisions to 50. Those last 79 songs were so hard to let go of and figure out which ones I’ll keep for the top 50. I’ve had other years be much easier than this one. I’ve had much fewer songs but last year, when I listened to more music, it was still easier than this. This year had some amazing songs get put out. So without further ado, here we go. This is my list.

50. Cowboy - deer scout

It’s a simple song; It’s acoustic and softly sung. And I just adore with how it is sung. deer scout’s voice is perfect for this stripped down track they created and the subtle nuances of this track is what carries it. The guitar twangs never get old and help guide the listener through the track. It’s over before you know it but its sound will be stuck in your head.

49. Gin Atomic - Townland

I love that this song is almost like an ambient indie song and then it brings out the rock elements. AND I’ll admit that it seems like a male vocal would come in but the female vocals fit the song so well. It just comes together so well to create a chill indie rock song. The drummer does a great job of holding this song together and keeping the song moving forward. Overall, just a well written song.

48. A Little Tune - Bret McKenzie

This track is so fun and cute. An appropriately named song that calls back to jazz that’s written with its title. McKenzie keeps the flow running so well with the different instruments and bouncy rhythm. It’s infectious, classy, and such a great time. It’s a song that could’ve easily felt too chaotic but it’s pulled together so well. This song also did unfortunately fall down my list a decent amount with more listens. It’s still a great song but I think its lack of memorability keeps it from being higher.

47. Gonna Lose - Built to Spill

This sounds a classic rock song taken straight from 70′s. It’s a well crafted song with an amazing guitar sound that drives the song forward. The vocals also greatly add to the effect of the whole classic rock sound. They are do a great job of making little changes in the song to add more to it and keep the listener engaged.

46. The Curse of the Blackened Eye - Orville Peck

My wife has fallen in love with Orville’s Peck country music. His silky voice is like a desert river and there’s something about his cowboy music that feels timeless already. This was my favorite song that I heard from him so far. It’s a simple bass line that he uses to bounce his melody on top off. There’s something about this song that can make me close my eyes and I can feel the wind pick up the dirt as it brushes my ankles as this song plays over the sunset over the orange, rocky horizon. Small patches of grass have never felt more real than this song.

45. Work Out - Rainbow Kitten Surprise

I love this little acoustic riff that plays through the whole song. It does a great job of creating room for the melody and rhythm. I will say that the 2nd chorus and switching the electronic sound is not my favorite but it doesn’t hurt the song that much, just thinking it’s a tad overbearing and doesn’t fit the best. But I can often ignore it because I love the mixing of the vocals and they blend so well with the sound they were wanting to achieve. It’s also perfectly depicts the feeling of lost love and how the two may still talk but it’s also admitting that it’s better over. It’s an interesting song for tackling this topic with good word choices and images.

44. Eisa Dancers - Mice Parade

That first note always sends some signal down my spine and I’m just transported to another place that I am supposed to relax but then the drums come in and it feels like finding peace within the chaos. It seems like a song not to meditate to but it ends up having that effect on me. And I love that about the time I feel like the track is getting repetitive for me, it continues to add another element to it that keeps my mind engaged. I do think the track carries on for a bit longer than it should but the diversity of the song makes up for it.

43. A Little Bit of Love - Weezer

I wasn’t expecting a song from Weezer’s “Spring” Ep would make it all the way to my top 50 but this melody has lived with me throughout all these months later. I was also really expecting for “Autumn” to be more my vibe but I don’t wanna take away from this song too much. It’s a catchy and light song that commits to its sound and it’s really endearing for doing so. I’ve really liked this song and get a smile whenever I listen to it.

42. Jennifer - Everything Everything

I’m still torn on how much of a fan I am of this band. Their last album was hit or miss for me. I saw this on my discover weekly and I just shrugged, “Sure it’ll come up eventually.” Boy, was I confused when I was really jamming and then I saw who it was. I love how infectious this melody is. The guitar guiding the rhythm well and the vocals being used so well, especially against the backing vocals. And another guitar guiding the atmosphere! This song just keeps climbing with its sound.

41. Chain Reaction - Joy Downer, Beck

I can’t tell you the giant smile that went across my face when I heard this song because it sounded like it came straight from a Shrek soundtrack. It has an iconic chorus with that light buzzing nostalgia guitar. It’s a dreamy song that’s focussed on the present and keeps you there. Whimsical is the word I think I would use for the whole track. I also really appreciate how much Beck takes a back seat on this song and only comes in places where it feels like the song needs it rather than feeling like a clout feature. It’s a well produced track that’ll live in my Shrek inspired playlist for years to come.

40. Barbed Wire Body - Movements

I feel so dumb for missing this song when it got released. I had to hear it through discover weekly (in November) and I thought they just released this song. Turned out I missed it and I missed out on a good song for not paying attention. To be fair, seeing if a band drops a single or if it’s pre-release for an album is getting harder and harder to tell the difference. I try to not listen too much of an album before its release and I end being cautious when new music drops. Oh well, can’t change the past but I can still enjoy listening to this song. It has reminded me how much I want more Movements music. Solid standard Movements track.

39. Do Your Worst - The Happy Fits

Remember Anberlin? This song will take you memory lane if you do. Especially with how the backing vocals sound. But the song structure and specific sounds they used all add up to what seems like a great sequel of that band. Too different to seem like a pseudo cover band of Anberlin but have a lot of the same elements. (Almost like if Anberlin and Creeper had a kid.) I haven’t checked out their other songs to see how much this rings true or if it’s just for this song but I can say that I'm hooked on this song.

38. Yellow - Tegan and Sara

Man, do I love the sound of those opening synth notes. This song is structured really well and utilizes the bass really well to move it in and out of those parts. Focussing on it really makes the chorus pop like it should when it comes around. The little production choices made also help paint the picture of this song well. It was a good find this year and I hope others can enjoy it also.

37. Almost Automatic - Good Looks

This song starts as a slow build and it kinda seems like it won’t be much of anything and then that chorus comes and changes everything. Good Looks took their time building the picture before unleashing their soaring chorus. It’s a carefully made song that I still get a little impatient for but the payoff is always there. This is the song that brought me to their album but they couldn’t top this amazing piece where you can feel the speakers slowly tiring out your ears.

36. Where Are You Now - Mary Gauthier

Back to being transported to the Wild West in a lonesome saloon with a handful of customers and this woman is playing this on the piano. The tonality of the piano is so perfectly chosen and I love its rich, country sound. The lyrics also have a very cowboy taste to them and everything fits the mood. Mary Gauthier has been making sad folk music for a while now and I only found her by reading her book. She’s been slipping through the cracks and has gone commonly unnoticed by generations younger than herself. I thought I would give her music a listen and really enjoyed her album “Mercy Now”. She then announced a new album this year and I gave it a listen. While the album barely didn’t make my album list, I knew one of her songs would since she knows how to make songs that the heart feels. While she did step away from the heart ripping songs, she still knows how to make a good song.

35. Chronicles (feat. H.E.R. & Lil Durk) - Cordae

I’m surprised that this song is so low on this list given that this rift of voices and acoustic guitar has played in my head all year long along with the vocal rhythm on the chorus. It was a re-evaluation of the verses that brought this song down, especially the line that references “turrets”. Kinda leaves a bad taste but the chorus is good enough to bring the song up. I also find H.E.R.’s voice really interesting and I love the feature of her on here. But really this song’s chorus really does carry it a long ways. Cordae is just a natural when it comes to flow.

34. With U - Soccer Mommy

Get the pinball machine ready with this indie rock track. I love the use of this sound but Soccer Mommy deliberately doesn’t make it overbearing. It’s simply used to enhance the chorus and smaller moments (outside of the intro) but it does its job well. It allows the chorus to expand in just the right way. While the verses are a little dull, I think they are well used to hold up the chorus for when it does hit. Allowing for all the magical elements to come in at that moment.

33. All I Wanted (feat. Mark Hoppus) - Avril Lavigne 

Avril’s new album disappointed in many moments but it doesn’t fail all the time. The lead single and this song are the magic that she was chasing. It’s a classic fun pop punk song and the choice to include Mark Hoppus was such a genius idea. He’s an insanely charming guy and his charisma is on such a great display here. Avril also plays a great part here and their voice mix well. It feels like a collaboration that should have happened a long time ago and I’m so glad that they nailed it with this song.

32. Bad Summer - Spector

I love the anticipation of this song and it starts with the first note. On first listen, the listener is left in complete wonder in where the song is going until that first chorus comes in. It’s a great song that knows what its little drone guitar-piano is doing (not really sure what instrument lol) but it’s wonderfully made to keep that tension there. The electric guitar layering is also super well done to add just enough depth to the track.

31. Meet the Moonlight - Jack Johnson

This is the ambient song that I’ve been wishing Jack would make that I thought would never happen. He tapped into that feeling of being underwater near the coast of a beach. Everything is still and saltwater surrounds every fiber of you. It’s a song that has brought lots of peace to me. It slows down time and asks me to let go of those emotions I so desperately want to hold on to. Let it go to the ocean. It will swallow it whole and you can still go back to the shore. Cleansing is what it does.

30. Adam’s Rib - Jensen McRae

The metaphor/lyrical approach used here is extraordinary. I love the imagery that this song invokes and her vocal performance is stellar. It hits you in the stomach and you can feel the desperation and passion. This is the part of life where love kicks you right in the chest and leaves you gasping. And I love that she manages to not sound clingy or problematic. McRae’s writing and performances are so well perfected, they are woven into her whole album and this song was one of the peaks for me.

29. Ohio Forever - Michigander, Sydney Sprague

Some folk songs hit you in your soul and this one was one for me this year. The two vocals blend so beautifully together and brings that wave of soft blue aura that feels comfortable to me. But this song adds that little bit of pink to add a sense of home within love. And when the bass finally comes in, it just fills the song. The electric guitar is a lovely touch too. Every instrument understands its part so well and creates an atmosphere that is calming to be in.

28. SKIN OF MY TEETH - Demi Lovato

This song’s first line of lyrics instantly captures my attention. Partly from how it’s phrased within the song and the composition lends itself to it. Partly because they’re saying the thing that we have been all thinking. The self-awareness has a shock value that I still can’t get over. I chose this song because of it’s shock value since a lot of these songs rock hard and it’s difficult to choose one. But Demi went all out on this album and this song really showcases it for me. Her vocal performance has a lot of emotion and proves why she has what it takes to be a pop artist on vocals alone. 

27. Fragments of the Decade - Death Cab For Cutie

It was difficult to choose the standout from this album because of how well crafted the majority of the album is, making great use of indie sounds. However, I have always been more inclined to the side of Death Cab’s long ambient songs. This is the one that captured me more. The thing about this song is layering it well and carefully. It feels like transporting the listener to another place/dimension/reality with the music. This song did just that for me. And the moment it gets to the bridge and it’s just the guitar and recordings of kids playing always gets me to close my eyes. 

26. Crystalline - Dakota Deyoc

The synth rock-pop has come again within this song. Having similarities with The Weekend, indie pop, and early electronic music. It’s a well crafted song that feels fully aware of its predecessors and makes sure to build upon those influences. I’m not gonna say that this feels like a new genre or like Dakota has broke onto a new horizon that he found himself but more like a perfected form between many genres. And the funny thing is that it's the vocal performance that really pulls this song through. It doesn’t seem like they are an amazing singer but they aren’t a bad singer at all. Rather, it’s the melody and the sound of the voice. It fits this genre/song so well and keeps the tonality.

25. Heavy is the Ocean - Bush

Damn, do I love Bush’s rock music now. Its post grunge guitar amps rattle the bones and a hard hitting drum set that bring you to the crowd in front of the stage. Head banging to these roaring guitars is easy and Gavin’s simple words that feel well suited for the music blends it all together. And while the song overall follows a standard song structure, it takes its time and doesn’t rush anything without it feeling like it’s taking too long. And I love the added chorus at the end right after the pause. Not many songs are able to get away with another chorus like that but Bush pulls it off. 

24. Girl From a Movie - Marketa Irglova

This song feels so magical to me. Transported to a fluffy forest and wading in the grass in the sunlight. Marketa has always had a very organic sound to her music and she continues to have that serenity within her music. And the melody of the chorus is what carries it for me. It feels like the perfect melody for a song like this and feels like the trees opening up for the sun. Almost like a polar opposite of the Frozen moment.  And the violin in this song is a perfect touch, adds to the peacefulness of the song and it’s mixed in well. It doesn’t ever take too much of a forefront but it does a great job of assisting the melody.

23. California Christmas - Switchfoot

I wasn’t really expecting a Christmas song on here at all. Usually these are in and out of the ear holes. But Switchfoot has a good knack for Christmas songs. In fact, they rarely miss on this forefront. This song feels like a perfect sequel to “interrobang” using their musical talents and songwriting on the front lines. But the chorus is really catchy and has been in my head ever since it got dropped. And the verses are so well made and Jon Foreman paints the perfect picture of what an American Christmas looks like. Love it or hate it but it's the reality. Yet,  Jon appreciates it all though and loves the warm Christmas. And the small mixing choices here all pay off well too.

22. Which of Us is to Blame? - Buffalo Hunt, Shakey Graves

Classic country but in an indie setting is rich for the heart. The guitar work on this song is lovely. Of course, it’s the tone and mood of the song that really carries this but they nail that with the two vocals working together to paint the picture. It was a little bit of a left field listen when I heard this on discover weekly but I welcomed it with open arms, enjoying the rise of classic country. Which I have really appreciated that this song commits to.

21. Bones - Imagine Dragons

It feels so weird to put Imagine Dragons on this list and this low. It’s a weird peer pressure thing cause we all make fun of the band now. Yet, despite all the bad publicity, this band still racks in tons of streams and listens. I think part of it is that we all like at least some Imagine Dragons songs but nobody can agree on which ones are good. I will hold my ground and say that this is one I like (tho Sharks was a close one). I’ll also admit that Mercury Part II wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t amazing but it was tolerable and had a handful of songs that I actually enjoyed. This chorus just hits too hard for me to pass it up. (and The Boys memes are hilarious to me).

20. Yeah, I Like You - Goo Goo Dolls

This riff is so simple but it already feels iconic with that perfect slam on the snare to start the song. Johnny’s voice is equally iconic and swings in with just as much presence. I also love the mixing on his voice and the doubling up on his voice on some verses that really helps bring different elements to the song. It really does feel like they are driving a car that won’t be stopped. It kinda sucks the rest of the album didn’t have this same drive but at leasts this song does. Oh, and the crunchy guitar and the synth on the bridge are really just icing on the cake. Right before the insanely catchy chorus.

19. Glitter - Daisy the Great

I really am interested just by the intro and then it kicks right into the song with a great rhythm. The two vocals and production of this song keeps the quality so high. The bass line is also *chef’s kiss*. Daisy the Great does an amazing job of creating an engaging song and understand songwriting really well. It gets me excited to hear what else they will put out. I didn’t get around to listening to their album so maybe that’s something I’ll do soon. But they are for sure on my radar now.

18. Daylight - Harry Styles

I’m not sure how much I should admit this but when this album first came out and I put it within my “Rotation” playlist. This song came up and I was a little confused. It sounded like a Switchfoot song from their pop years (2014-2019) but was one that was better that somehow slipped through the cracks. I then checked and it was Harry Styles and somehow that misdirection worked for me and this song became my favorite from the album. I love the fuzzy guitar he uses on it and the unique song structure that he uses, especially for a pop artist. I will say that I do remember this song catching my ear the first listens of the album, it just didn’t show up in my playlist for a bit before appearing suddenly.

17. Viva las Vengeance - Panic! at the Disco

I know it’s fun to shit on Panic! right now but this song was so promising and is so infectious. This riff lives in my head. I can’t escape it and it follows me around only to bring around the chorus (ya know, like a song does *facepalm*). But this song really is like finding the missing fossil that a museum has been missing and wanting for years. It’s unforgettable, catchy, and incorporates the best elements of new Panic! into a new era. And before anyone else says it because it’s been a thought I’ve had for a long time, this album sounded like Brendon made a Grease soundtrack. It all reeks of musicals set in high school and brings in those same musical elements of the late 70′s/early 80′s.

16. Commotion - Young the Giant

Young the Giant came into this year with a plan for their music. While I don’t think all of it landed, I would also agree that absolutely none of it was poor quality. I felt that there was a certain amount of character that they normally have that was missing. It’s like they slightly lost their touch but they are great musicians so they still made great songs. This song, however, has a country influence that I wasn’t expecting for them to embrace. It works really well and it trumps the other songs that feel more like singles that would catch a traditional indie rock listener more. But this song just continues to stand out to me and feels like a completely different band made it. It feels like a promise that Young the Giant will come back with another album that will redefine who they are better but the sound can’t be expected.

15. Drink Milk and Run - Hot Mulligan 

That scream at the beginning of the song really pulls my attention to the song. The song demands that you listen to it. And it doesn’t take long for the chorus to start and it’ll instantly have you shaking your head to the beat. It’s a song with a lot of energy and emo personality within it. And I love the line “Whoever said to pull yourself by the boot straps is a fucking joke”. It’s a song I heard a lot in November when I was helping build a holiday event and it sang in my ear the whole time. Really this whole song can be sang for my situation. Good emo song.

14. Matilda - PUP

PUP has nailed the punk sound that I love now days. It has some more brighter sounds, has a lot of energy, and is guitar driven. The verses are great, the chorus is great, and the whole song is a head banger. I said this on my album review but I’ll say it again, these songs are begging to be played live. And huge applause for the sound engineer for capturing their live sound so well. It comes through the headphones so well and really begs to be played louder and louder.

13. Magnificent - Oh Wonder

There’s some magic that Oh Wonder has over me that I can’t seem to find the practical way that they do the trick... if it is a trick. But they have some formula that gets me to love their music every time. Maybe it’s Josephine’s voice, maybe it’s Anthony’s production, or maybe it’s love for music and each other that comes through. This simple song feels effortless as they sing about the possibility of not meeting each other and where they would be now if they didn’t share names. Then it comes around to say that it wouldn’t be anything as magnificent as what they have now. Or effortless. It truly baffles me that this duo, while they have seen plenty of success, aren’t a household name. Their music never stops making a way into my heart and soul.

12. Florida - Wild Pink

The song opens with the melody on violin that it wants you to learn and remember. It feels like great foreshadowing of the rest of the song before the electronic elements start. Then the melody shifts to staggered piano chords as the violin becomes the accompaniment. Everything about this song just feels like it has a huge purpose. It’s ambient music feels like watching a sunset as this writer tells you about what makes them love being where they are. The country influence with the fiddle and second acoustic really does help bring that nostalgia tone out. It’s so well crafted that I had forgotten that this track clocks in right after 9 minutes. It does start to drag a little around the 5:30 mark but it really is only a little dip before it brings in that melody on violin again and rewarding you for sticking around in the humid air. Bonding with another human, ambition, and wondering about the future is what this song reminds me of. There’s so much emotion in this song that it kinda made other ambient tracks like it fall so short.

11. Strangest Faces - Bayside

Bayside has found their sound with Interrobang and continue of going down this road that allows their music to be hard hitting and memorable. It feels like finding a new band that’s up and coming but Bayside are veterans by this moment. They deserve so many more listeners if this next album is as good as they are making it seem like with this song. Punk combined with modern rock gives the band a sound that isn’t unique on the surface but they have earned their space within the realm by adding an energy that can’t be replicated. Strangest Faces is a promise that the best is yet to come.

10. High Hopes - Sweet Pill

While Paramore attempts their old sound with “The News” (I don’t hate the song but it doesn’t work as well for me), Sweet Pill has kindly already taken the job of modernizing that sound. The lead singer of Sweet Pill also has a powerful voice that can hold its own against other veteran acts. While this is a great feat in itself, it’s the songwriting that really sells it for me. I feel the band fully understands how to build tension and create these songs with more intention and artistry. The song doesn’t follow typical modern structures and they play with the dynamic moments well. It’s like the song is guiding them rather than the other way around.

9. Where Did You Go I’m Such a Mess These Days - Blue October

I knew it as soon as it came out as the second single. This was the Blue October I’ve been waiting to hear again. The verses are a little too stripped back but Justin’s lyrics are good enough to follow that it doesn’t bother me too much. The acoustic guitar and beat are bouncy so it’s alright. But it’s the chorus that fully surrounds you in the emotion that it’s wanting you to feel. It feels like a symphony really and it makes me want to hear this song with a whole symphony and choir with Justin in front of them. Those walls would be cleansed of any of the nasty sounds that may have fallen on them. The beat feels really well made for this song too and keeps the track a little lighter. But Justin’s production comes really handy here and I really hope he makes an album that sounds like this sometime.

8. Landlocked Surf Rock - Colony House

Rock and roll baby! This song fully embraces the coastal rock it’s one of the most fun songs they’ve made. It’s catchy and carefree but doesn’t sacrifice the music to get there. The drums and guitar combo really sell this song and keep the energy up. It’s a well crafted good time. It’s biggest downfall comes with the short run time but damn, this song is just too charismatic to really bug me that much. Hit that repeat button and let it roll!

7. Silence is Golden - The Beths

Another drum roll in! But the guitar takes control really fast by being in the forefront. The vocals keep up with the combo through the fuzz and energy. I feel what makes this song really work is just how easy it is to listen to while still feeling the impact from the song. There’s also a sense of urgency in it that is unparalleled. Nothing makes a sacrifice and it comes together with ease. The Beths had a live show in mind when making these songs and this is the best example from the album. 

6. This is Why - Paramore

What a comeback. Paramore proves they are veterans at this and aren’t messing around, especially with that bass line. But I love this as their first single as it feels so carefully made. Like it’s been on the computer for several months as they were perfecting it to make sure that the first song back is full of nutrition to bite into. This chorus hits exactly the way the intend it to. It’s catchy, rocks, and equally groovy and fuzzy. The verses are a little stripped back but I feel that adds to the anticipation to the song and Hayley’s lyrics are fun to sing to when you get a hang of a handful of words. I can say that this song feels like an instant classic for their discography.

5. Body Language - Mint Green

Now this feels like peaking too early. Mint Green cannot start their career with this song. How do you top a song like this one?! It has full understanding of a great song structure, when to go all out and pull back, and what instruments are  supposed to be in the spotlight or helping build the sound. The drums here do an amazing job of keeping the song on the right level at all times. But really the song is in full control of itself. And I cannot get over everything in the bridge and past that, those vocals are spectacular and I love what they have done with this song. It soars and it’s a high quality song.

4. King - Florence + the Machine

I’ll admit that the first half of this song is good and everything but the song doesn’t have its full impact until that little break in the middle. However, don’t ignore the first half. It’s careful to create the frame before the canvas is painted. It’s ranked this high for a reason. It still is important. The second half just has an energy that picks you up off the ground and has you hold up your flame of honor. Florence breaks into the “oh’s” and you feel every inch of it. Then the violin and a little quiet. And with this last chorus it, I feel you understand the full impact of what she is singing and you understand that it’s not a song to sing but one that must be sung. (I do wish one final chorus hit again but it’s alright).

3. Chloe - Father John Misty

The speakeasy era may have died but Father John Misty remembers. And this is the song that fully recreates that sound and commits fully to it. I really can’t stop playing this song or thinking about it. It’s so classic and I adore that he aimed as high as he could and took a shot. It’s an ambitious song that really nailed the execution. Even the big band elements coming in! Nothing was missed and I’ll be damned if I forget this song anytime soon. Bring on the small rooms filled with cigarette smoke.

2. Mr. Moralle - Kendrick Lamar, Tanna Leone

I think we all know that the bottom 3 songs of this album were some of Kendrick’s best music from this project. This is the one that caught my ear and it told me to remember it for this moment. Even after re-listening to this album, I still can’t help but choose this song as my favorite. Its synth pluck is constant, the bass line is active, and the vocal rhythm doesn’t miss a beat. The tonality of this song keeps its whole essence with dark tones and lyrics. I also 100% agree with where the song ends and love that it wasn’t dragged out or ended too soon. 

1. Window of the Waking Mind - Coheed and Cambria

Cue iconic sci-fi moment as Coheed comes in with their Magnus Opus. This song is incredible for being prog and fulfilling the ambition that Coheed has. Not one moment is missed. And that first line of lyrics brings the emotion needed after the dramatic opening. But really, this song is non-stop, veteran status musicianship and songwriting. I don’t know how many other album closers even *compare* to this one. I cannot begin to even explain what this song does for me. Every element is so perfectly placed and made. There’s so many small touches and unique techniques used that there is never a dull moment. With so many instruments and genres combined, there really isn’t anywhere higher to go. Especially with that ending that sounds like a “Empire Strikes Back” motif within their own melodies. Literally. Perfect.

[cryptidfuckery]

Do you plan/write a story in chronological order or just put it down as it comes to you? Trying to figure out how far afield the latter puts me, even if there’s not a “right” way to do it.

hi heres some completely unrequested writing tips sorry for the long post :) i misread the ask before i started writing so. yeah. in short i don't write chronologically, except when I'm writing the beginning?

the first scene i wrote for this is literally the rising climax of the story. i had no idea what I wanted to do with it from there but it just kept evolving until now I'm writing a whole year spanned over 20 chapter fic.

When I started this one (mind you i havent written in like 7 years) I just wrote what came to me, what ideas made me excited. Basically whatever was bringing me joy to write, whatever was fun to expand it into. Purely self indulgent for myself to reread over and over and over, no real plan to post it.

Then I got the brainworm about it and couldn't stop thinking about it and I knocked out over 20k in a month which was. Also due to me being massively depressed and distracting myself.

But in this time I got a sketch book and started planning out a bigger story, something to compliment the original idea and inspiration while also giving a satisfying story between the characters (also figuring out overarching plot, drew out a plot mountain at one point to see where I was lacking, jotting down ideas just to get them down so I could let them simmer in the back of my mind, jotting down phrases or ideas for dialouge, etc) basically just. playing in the space and seeing what ended up feeling most satisfying as a whole story

WOOF OKAY THERES MORE im so sorry you caught me at 1am and im high

Once I got the overall idea of what I wanted to do, I started mapping out chapters, but mostly getting a rough idea of where i wanted things to go in the story. I am being VERY diligent to remember that this is all mutable and nothing is set in stone and its MORE FUN that way

At this point I'm still just writing whats enjoyable and coming to me naturally. Once I started solidifying more of the plot and ideas I started working on some of the parts that just needed to be done re: the very beginning. And i fucking hate the very very beginning right now i cant wait to rewrite it but i am NOT LETTING MYSELF DO THAT.

DO NOT GO BACK AND EDIT SIGNIFIGANTLY. If you catch yourself rereading it and adjusting a few things, fine. But if you find any major inconsistencies either make a mental note or leave a comment or something and then just leave it. It'll be there to fix later. It doesn't matter. Leave a fuckin [insert name of kitchen utensil here] if you don't remember. Who cares. It's your first draft.

OKAY now onto how I've been writing the scenes that don't come as naturally to me

I let the scene simmer for a while in my brain. I entertain different ideas and approaches and jot down anything that feels right. Usually for me I'll get a clear line of dialogue or interaction that feels like a good creative starting point

2. I listen to music when I write bc I have adhd, but im curious to know if this would work for other people too! I have a playlist I curated for the fic that I have listened to. A lot. A lot. Like a Lot. Like most mornings on my way to work. this 1) helps me play in my head with the blorbos and 2) gives me a good emotional basis to bounce ideas off of if I'm stumped on a scene.

I literally just gave my friend @docninj this advice. Pick a song that represents the emotion you're trying to convey in the scene youre trying to write. Could be overall emotion, emotion of the narrator, main character's emotions, whatever. Then play that song on repeat until you don't really hear it anymore. Then try writing. I'll also switch songs if the mood of the scene changes. For me it helps me bounce the emotions I'm trying to write off of something that represents it? god dude idk.

god that was a lot idk why i wrote all of it but hey if it helps someone what the hell.

[shycloudagere]

🔤🪀👔🐣 for da ask fingy :)

Hi, I’m answering this while big, hope you don’t mind that. Also, I ended up saying a lot more for the last answer than I thought I would…

🔤 My favorite name to be called when little kind of changes depending on my age, mood, and the overall context, but I always like being called “little one” cause it makes me feel small but in a way that isn’t too personal. However, if a fellow age regressor is talking to me while regressed to a similar age, I think that stuff like “buddy” and “friend” make more sense.

🪀 I don’t play with a ton of toys while little, but I enjoy some games on my iPad, and I like coloring/scribbling/filling out worksheets. I love my pacifier, even though it’s not a toy.

👔 I don’t have any specific clothes for when I’m little because 1) I don’t have anywhere to hide clothes that are very obviously for littles, and 2) I usually regress at the end of the day when I feel too tired to worry about my clothes. When I’m home I usually have on an oversized hoodie with shorts or leggings, which is pretty good for regression anyway.

🐣 This is gonna be a long answer in case it’s helpful for someone reading it.

Some of my regression is at least partially involuntary, so things that bring up really bad memories or are just really scary in the moment can cause me to regress once I’m alone and able to process my thoughts/feelings. I can also involuntarily regress a bit if I’m shopping for something childish, like I buy certain dolls that I like when big or little, but I sometimes regress a bit when I’m at the store buying them. Also, places like aquariums make me feel smol sometimes because there’s so much cool stuff and is largely geared toward being family friendly and making fun spaces for kids. Also, I’m always in such awe when I see how beautiful fish are, so I think that adds to the general feeling of being little.

When I’m voluntarily regressing, I usually turn on kids’ shows. Most streaming services have a default kids’ profile, so you can use that even if sharing with family or add one without them noticing cause they’ll assume it was already there. I have certain coloring books and a notebook just for little me to use. Certain apps on my iPad are used mostly when I’m little. Tumblr can be good. I had a Pinterest account but it’s taken down, and I need to contact their help thing, but that used to help a lot.

Honestly, a lot of times I will make myself regress a bit if I’m having a hard time processing negative feelings or if I need to take care of myself because it’s sometimes easier to be a pouty baby who grumbles and scribbles with crayons if I don’t have another outlet, and it’s easier to convince myself to go to bed if I feel like a little kid being told they have to rest.

Oh, I also have a littlespace playlist, but I honestly don’t use it much because little me doesn’t often have an interest in listening to music. They would rather watch tv or just play a game that makes noise. If I’m not fully regressed, I will sometimes explore AO3, but I have to read stories I found when big cause it can be hard to navigate to Sfw things, so little me doesn’t explore, only reads what’s already saved for them.

I also try to reduce what’s available to read because I can usually read at least a little bit at any age (probably because I learned at a very young age), but that can feel kind of confusing and overwhelming to little me because it feels like there are words everywhere and they’re too big for someone so smol. So I start by playing games with little to no dialogue and color, then I can do things like explore Tumblr once I feel like the reading part of my brain has turned off a bit, so I don’t always have to read every word I see, and I can disregard proper spelling. It eliminates stress, if that makes sense. Also, I don’t talk much when little because there’s no one here irl to listen, but if I do talk, I encourage myself to use a childish voice and way of speaking, and I let myself grumble and pout without actual words. I used to have a speech impediment and it’s sometimes still present, so I let that become more obvious.

My best advice is to essentially compartmentalize things as much as possible. Have your apps on a separate page of your device, have toys that you use when little, have coloring pages for when you’re little. Maybe even have a favorite cup and snack. I’m not currently at a point in life where little me can have a dedicated space irl or lots of toys just for them. So I set aside what I can, and I avoid using things while regressed that big me uses often. For example, I have two toys that are legitimate baby toys. They’re sensory stuffed animals. I never use them while little because the main reason I own them is to take to overwhelming places (like Disney world) where it would not be safe to regress. And little me gets to wear certain slippers and hats but rarely cat ears because I don’t want the cat ears to make me feel small at school.