#over a decade of experience???
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I genuinely can’t fathom how you pump out such quality writing in so little time like omgg
thank you, i have the worst sleep schedule you could ever possibly imagine❤️
#theres a lot of ways i could answer this but this is.. hm. the least concerning??#like saltburn very literally triggered me into a manic episode and writing is how i cope??#performance enhancing drugs (ADHD medication)#over a decade of experience???#all true but so is the sleep schedule thing and thats Snappy#im also addicted to validation thats another reason#if i don't write the stories get stuck in my head and build up and make me sick??? still true#the worms have joined forces with my mental illness and formed a saltburn based union?? hm#it shouts back
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What cracks me up about Don't Be Afraid, Just Start the Tape is that aside from the vampirism, Daniel's just having such a typical cocaine experience.
He goes home with a guy because he has coke, then ends up listening to the guy rant and bitch about his ex until dawn, then witnesses an implosion between the guy and his current partner, then is forced to answer the question, "Am I boring?" from said partner while trying to figure out the best way to leave.
This is just a regular night on cocaine.
#and also why i haven't done coke in over a decade#but it makes total sense to me that one of the only humans to know vampires exist#found out because of the most basic cocaine experience ever#iwtv#interview with the vampire#daniel molloy#louis de pointe du lac#armand#don't be afraid just start the tape
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I recently had to do a project in one of my psych classes, and man, I knew that CBT was used for every little thing, but seeing over and over, "do CBT! CBT is the best for every mental illness!" was so jarring. I'm absolutely biased because of my own experiences, but I just don't think it's as universal a treatment model as it's touted.
If you didn't benefit from CBT, it's not because you're lazy or didn't try hard enough or lacked intelligence or foresight into your own needs. Frankly, it's a therapy model that (I think) shouldn't be the only readily-accessible model and among the only therapy models covered by insurance. Some of us should not be treated in a CBT model and that's okay. It's not a sign of poor character or unreasonable demands, and if you don't think it's a model that works for you, then it's your right to express that!
#mental health#mental health advocacy#it was just so annoying because every resource i could access for this project often ONLY recommended cbt and#that just doesn't seem helpful for a good chunk of people#because i know i never benefitted from that model of therapy#obligatory: i am not against this therapy. me having a negative experience with it is not indicative that i believe it should be abolished'#if it works for you: KEEP DOING IT. cbt is not inherently harmful for MANY people and it's a good and valuable tool for many#but the overemphasis of cbt as the Only Therapy Model You Need sends this message that YOU failed...#...if you don't miraculously recover with that therapy model. it often feels like you'll Fail Recovery/Therapy and you're now a Bad Person#i've tried for over a decade to stick out cbt with a dozen therapists to boot. so i think i know a thing or two about my experiences with it#and overall its an unimpressive model (for me) as someone whos had a history with abuse and miscellaneous mental knickknacks rattling around#it's also frustrating because i genuinely like psych and i love learning about people#it's just. i'm tired of only being exposed to cbt (because i hate it honestly)#i feel similarly about cbt as i do with sigmund fucking frued#anyway i just want other insane people (affectionate) to remember that they deserve to not beat themselves up over this#if you're an insane person reading this: i love you i love you i love you i love you#i will share a slice of cake and homemade bread with you <3
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Watching Sam & Brennan talk about the beauty of frivolity, of adults playing silly games just as seriously as they fight to survive, and... yeah. There are some things that keep us alive, and there are some things that make life worth living, and I think games are one of those things that fall into both categories. Games make our lives better and they make us better at being alive. I think that's pretty cool.
#k talks#adventure academy#dropout tv#sam reich#brennan lee mulligan#and i say this not in an evopsych way. never. but in a historian looking back at the infinite intricacy of human experience and crying#i know i'm not really saying anything that anarchist philosophers haven't already said but it just hits me every time. it's so good#(& when the lich heard brennan quote graeber we had to pause the video while he had a little philosophical squee)#i feel for brennan not being able to play mafia bc he's too busy hosting it tho. bc. mood#i am rarely allowed to survive a mafia game these last few years#i wish i could invite everyone else who went 'oof. yeah. same' to join my decade-long group of assorted folks#who've been playing increasingly complicated week-long games of mafia over forum & then facebook & now discord for a decade or so#bc oh boy. those games are fun as HELL & we always love new players#especially the kind who will play DEADLY seriously :)
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Given that SCOTUS has anointed the office of the presidency as a monarch role beyond all reproach (so that when 45 wins in Nov as they are intending), and we’ll never have another presidential election, I wish that Biden would assume lame duck status IMMEDIATELY, call their bluff, and start issuing executive orders like crazy now through January 2025.
He could do shit like defund the military and pour the funds into social services, repeal all nationwide laws/restrictions on abortion, make all healthcare including all reproductive services and gender affirming care accessible, instate UBI and Medicare for all, write a 100% tax rate on billionaires, push sweeping environmental protections, break up monopolistic megacorps, close federal prisons, expand and pack the court, cancel all student/personal/medical/non corporate debts, open our boarders, decriminalize all drugs, etc. etc. etc.
Maybe then the 6 block justice set of 45 worshippers would see what they’ve done.
Maybe then, if Biden immediately, decisively even did 10% of that, he might not lose the election.
Of course, he’d actually have to give a shit about any of those things in order to do this.
And that’s the whole fucking point, right? He won’t. And it’s why we’re here.
Democrats hold themselves to “the rules” only to the extent they’re spineless liberals who are in the same big money pockets as republicans. The key difference being, they let republicans be the ones to more overtly, proudly kill us all and act powerless to stopping them.
When our structures demand they are the ONLY ones who could stop them. I can’t take it anymore.
#us politics#sorry but I’m in a real negative tail spin that has been increasing In intensity for a decade at least#call me a psyop if you must that’s fine but I’ll be sitting over here in Texas#crying bitter tears that fall on my 20 year old BA in political science and the death of all my Childish dreams#that this fucking failed experiment of a nation has no chance at redemption#stick a fork in her folks she’s done
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HONDA x MARC: you don't have to go home. there's a long way to go.
#marc marquez#motogp#motogpedit#bynadya#n.mov#made it ages ago and re-edited it while waiting for the arsenal game to start lol...... also to distract myself from daniils result :((#i fear i could never love a rider the way i loved hondamarc..... not even post 2023 marc himself......#but yeah.... what was the saying again? dont cry bc it's over smile bc it happened etc etc??#anyway honda marc :) thank u for some of the fun and best decade of my life :) so glad to witness it and experience it <3
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#fucking idiots the both of them#lewis you lost nico 'britney' rosberg????#and nico you lost lewis hamilton????#you stupid fucking idiots#me whacking them with a roller up newspaper: IT'S. BEEN. A. DECADE. TALK. TO. EACH. OTHER#i mean like at this point it has to be a psychological experiment#how much psychic damage can our fans take before they snap?#why am i sobbing over two forty year olds on the bus?#anthony hamilton and keke rosberg please hold an intervention for your children#im sorry but if i fumbled britney and lewis you would've had to sedate me#like straitjacket and psych ward and everything#lewis hamilton#nico rosberg#f1#brocedes
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Sometimes I think about how Jin Ling goes by that instead of Jin Rulan and I just vividly picture his young mistress persona going like "yeah my not uncle was an unaware pining cut sleeve and my mom kind of just enabled it so... juijui and I just try to pretend it didn't happen -- it's cringe af" and I die a little in both grief and hilarity
#mdzs#mxtx#wangxian#mo dao zu shi#the untamed#wei wuxian#lan wangji#jin ling#jin rulan#jiang cheng#no because they silently came to that agreement for over a decade and then wex came back an JL had to look at his pining ass all the time#then after they are together he's like i am literally a teenager with the nominal marker of your infatuation yet you are JUST NOW A COUPLE?#and jiang cheng is just fuming shaking his fist at wangxian at a distance and like#listen his nephews name is basically wangxian ya feel me#its just so fucking good#and yet i sob because jiang yanli#and jin zixuan I GUESS but the way she just rolled with it ugh i die#picturing jl and lsz someday going yeah these bitches gay and dramatic we love our gays#and then i cry again#the mdzs experience#ok did not expect to make myself emotional in the tags don't perceive me
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HAPPY DAY!!!
after being on a waitlist for like eight (8) months I finally had my intake appointment for the ED clinic 😭😭😭🫡🫡🫡
#hopeful abt this!!!#jackie talks#delete later#not leverage#also get to process my school shooting related trauma which I’ve sat on for over a decade ✌️#me: dumps abt my experience w aforementioned situation#woman doing my intake: …I’m glad you told me that that’s definitely something to work on#about me#mine#the way she lowkey had no words 💀 girl me too that’s why I’ve been sitting on it for a decade
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To be clear i genuinely don’t fuck with the term transandrophobia because it’s just misogyny with extra steps. it ‘exists’ in the way those extra steps do target trans men specifically but the explicit focus on TRANSmasculinity is inherently connected to our AGAB. it’s transphobia and misogyny.
#if you think trans men don’t experience misogyny you are severely unequipped to discuss anything relating to this seriously#go outside first and have a long walk thinking about this if that’s the case#anyway this is why i don't think it needs a special little term for when this happens online.#BC its the same shit i've been experiencing since i came out well over a decade ago.#it's just slightly repackaged from a transphobic cis context into a queer infighting context.#Even apt criticism [unrelated to that screenshot lol] devolves into name calling and verbal abuse#Progress buried in the dirt along with their necks#but trust me this is sooooo intersectionality guys. we are so at the forefront of kweer discourse
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If Daisuke Ishiwatari ever drops substantial Gear biology lore you all better buckle the hell up because it's all I'm going to talk about. I've been unwell about Gear biology since translating Begin. Chomping at the bit over here. GIVE ME MORE
#textpost#Gears were just like trash mobs for illustrations until like idk Overture and then not again in a major way until Xrd Sign#Begin gave us some JUICY Gear bio lore. It's all been hints and speculation outside that and a few other things though#Sure there are humanoid Gears you can play as (Dizzy. Tess. Sol. Sin) but they never really get INTO it you know?#It's been a decade and we STILL don't know what the fuck's going on with Ky#It took TWENTY YEARS for Sol's Gear stuff to get explained via Begin. 20!!#Testament's Gear biology is unknown all the way down. Were they killed over and over just to be revived by their Gear cells???#What's going on there???? What experiments were done to them?????#Dizzy has kiiiiinda been elaborated on here and there but no more than basically anyone else#Sin's eye.#IT'S IN THE TITLE OF THE SERIES WHY IS THIS SUCH A HUGE UNKNOWN
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Every time you think, "Oh, I don't have [x condition], I'm basically cured!" that is the devil talking. You aren't cured, you are likely going through periods of your symptoms waning. Don't cease whatever you're doing to help yourself, like medication, for instance, because it's likely you still have the conditions or symptoms, even if you aren't noticing them as frequently or severely.
#disability#this is a callout post about myself#i genuinely thought my GAD was cured because my symtoms had lessened significantly since i've transitioned#turns out my anxiety is just as killer and awful - it's just muted slightly#i am currently laying down with my brain convinced that i'm About To Have a Heart Attack#(and not in the fun demi lovato kind of way)#(that song is a little over a decade old... what the bingle)#anyway please don't do what i do whenever i experience ANY level of symptoms getting better because it will shock you...#...when those symptoms come back and remind you that you Do Indeed have [x condition]#i now know how a wolf girl feels when they say they are Actually Feral because that's how i feel rn 💀#even I'M not immune to the idea that the things i suffer from are things that can Disappear Magically 😭#it's wishful thinking and almost like... imposter syndrome because you're *so* desperate to prove to yourself you're Fine or A Faker#and you become hyperfixated on picking every tiny little waxing and waning of symptoms like you're a fortune teller#and honestly it's really stiffling and it's a lot of work to kill the cop in your head that says you are secretly Not All That Affected...#...that you're either exaggerating to the Extreme or you're just a bored faker who's trying to Get Attention (bad somehow)
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THE number one most irritating thing about life is deciding when you're meant to speak or make eye contact and when you're not, and for how long and how many phrases you're meant to say at a time
#i know i make this post every week. i know this#but it's just constant!#all my other problems are either solvable or no one has ever solved them in the history of humanity you just have to live with them#but this one is soooo omnipresent and it takes up 80% of my brain space at almost all times#and it's not like i can really condition myself out of it because consciously Not thinking about it is the same as thinking about it!#try to think about my surroundings but people are a part of the surroundings!#how i avoided this level of constant decision making as a child is i just didn't speak to people besides my family unless i had to#i've read people's experiences who were like 'you need to decide when to put on your normal face and how to present yourself'#'being able to choose will give you more autonomy' and like! yeah! guess why i'm able to support myself and live an independent life#that doesn't mean making those choices every second of the day is enjoyable!! or really sustainable over decades and decades!!#rhghghgjhhbhhhhghghhhhghh#hisses like a cat going to the vet
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"Tang Sanzang is completely peaceful all of the time!" Bah. True journeyheads know about that time he got two guys tortured to death and his "smashing yaoguai into meat patties is okay actually" mindset.
#journey to the west#jttw#xiyouji#tang sanzang#tripitaka#to be fair it's more of a 'lets people get killed' situation#and definitely far from true in all cases#and it would be pretty hard to have anything for hatred for the guys who murdered your dad & assaulted your mom for well over a decade#or for the monsters who just wanted to eat or assault you#but still#let this monk be fucked upppppp#one of my greatest wishes for a jttw retelling#is that one would tackle the underlying implication that for all tsz's genuine desire to do good and be peaceful#swk does kind of let the monk vicariously experience what life is like when you're powerful and violent enough to get your way#something very fascinating & disturbing in the push and pull between the two#the journey & all the good it led to wouldn't have happened without tsz's determination to see it through & help people along the way#but it wouldn't have succeeded without swk's tricks and violence either
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man I've heard enough 'drawing hands :(' this and 'not the other eye...' that...
I've come to face my worst nightmare
HATS
I spent 40 minutes trying to sketch this thing. Got so frustrated I stood up and left and got a burger (yum). And I came back and continued the drawing full omitting said bastardly hat.
#it won. it beat me. i was bested by a fucking piece of headwear.#You'd think with over a decade of drawing experience that I could draw a simple two part object but noooooo#I can draw this weird funky alien and his sick as fuck facial scar and the cool tech bulky clothes and the neat multieyes but a hat? nuh-uh#yea im text posting now i feel like it; might do this more. might be a rare once every few months thing. you will never know.#rambling to myself!
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The facial acting of these two is soooo good. Their "let's work together to catch Kira" handshakes, except one is Light with his memories of being Kira (on the left) and the other is him without (on the right).
There's a silent declaration of war going on between the two on the left. L is grinning. Light's smile doesn't reach his eyes. An unspoken "I know you know that I know" passes between the two of them.
On the left, that undertone of animosity is gone. Light's expression is genuine, and L can clearly tell. L is searching Light's eyes for Kira. He's not smug anymore because he can't find him.
It's the exact same scene shot-for-shot and yet it's totally different in almost every other way.
#death note#death note drama#death note jdrama#l lawliet#death note tv drama#light yagami#yamazaki kento#masataka kubota#guys I love the jdrama soooo much#idk man they just get it#I have my issues with it for sure but it's things like this that make me appreciate just how much they UNDERSTOOD#not just yamaken and masataka whose acting absolutely devoured in the last half but everyone else too like they just GOT IT YKNOW#I am of the opinion that of all the adaptations it's the musical and the jdrama that understand the source material best#the jdrama isn't for everyone yadda yadda but as someone who's been into dn for over a decade now#I just really feel how much it loves and respects the og story while also exploring new things to make it a unique experience#GOD i love the jdrama#it's 4am I grabbed my laptop just to type this all out#I'm so glad I decided to rewatch
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