#oven-baked apple oatmeal

[jennifersblog-en]

I have been using the apples from the apple tree for various recipes, such as this oven-baked apple oatmeal.

[autumnsvoice87]

Spoonie Sabath- Mabon

Mabon is here! The fall Equinox is here! Fall has officially begun and spooky season is already in full swing! This is my favorite time of the year. So for those that are new, Mabon is a celtic pagan holiday on the wheel of the year. When it was first introduced to me, I was told it was like a witches Thanksgiving.

It is the second harvest festival where they celebrate the good fortunes they have had this growing season. They give thanks to the Gods who are in charge of harvests and firtility, For without firtility, there couldn't be a harvest of crops! Mabon is the pagan holiday that rests on the Autumn Equinox.

Some witches take out the pagan part of Maybon and just celebrate the balance of light and dark on the equinox as well as just the harvest aspect. The spring and fall equinox is when the day light is equal to night time. It is often a symbol of balance so a witch may focus on balancing their energy, their body, their life etc. So today is another Spoonie list of celebrating this witch's holiday.

Coloring. Coloring can be a great way to balance stress out. There are many coloring sheets out there for fall. Some are kids coloring pages, and some are adult coloring. Whatever one you prefer is just fine. If you have problems with hand jerks or trembles, the kids' coloring sheets would be easier. It's also a great activity to do with kids if you have children or are babysitting for others. Some coloring pages you can get by downloading and printing off the internet. For a designated witchcraft one, they have some on Amazon. https://www.pinterest.com/pin/844987948812638690/

Light a candle. You can light an orange or red candle for Mabon instead of doing a full bonfire. Bonus points if it smells like apples, or pumpkin spice! If you can tolerate scented candles (not everyone can) they are readily available at the Dollar Tree or at Dollar general. There are many instances where people are not able to do bonfire's anyway but it is a favorite pasttime for celebrating the Equinox.

Fall foods. Many of us spoonies are probably not able to engage in baking and cooking up a great feast. Here are some cheats to consider. At wal-mart, they have mini pies for 75 cents (in my area anyway). You can get a Mini Pie for yourself or each of your family members. They are already baked and ready to go. You could warm them up in the microwave if you want to warm them up. Another idea is to get freash baked bread from the bakery. It's already baked good to eat. Pumpkin spice oatmeal for breakfast! or Apple Cinniamon is another oatmeal I love. For a meal for your family, a crock pot meal like chili is a must-have. Chili is easy to make. Just dump a bunch of canned beans, choice of meat and vegetables, and seasoning in a crock pot. There are many crock pot meal recipies out there to choose from. Baked potatoes are a good one, too. You can put them in the oven and you won't have to stand for very long.

Going outside. Going outside to enjoy the weather is good idea if weather permits. You can use a picker upper grabber to pick up leaves, acorns and pinecones to decorate your altars or your shelves. If you are a pagan parent, this a fun activity for kids too. A scavenger hunt is fun and you can do it on your own or with family. Use your mobility devices if you have them. Electric scooters and wheelchairs are aweseome for this if you have them. If you are not able to go outside, maybe have a family member go out and bring the scavenger hunt inside. Have them hide things they found in nature so you can try and find them. I know this isn't doable for everyone but even just sitting outside and watching the squirrels is good enough.

Cleansing your home. Cleansing your space of negative energies is a way to get rid of that no longer serves you. Many witches cleanse once a month anyway, but sometimes those of us with limited spoons can't always cleanse as often as we like. It also depends on the method of cleansing. Opening windows and smoke cleansing is what is most preferred and most taught method. Depending on our living situations, it's not always ideal. Some ideas to cleanse with minimal energy are to use sound cleansing music on youtube. There are several videos out there for sound cleansing. You can even use your own tools such as rattles, Bells, or drums if you have them. Another cleansing method is to use a spray. You can make your own using water and essential oils or using plain salt water works. It is something that is easy, and all you have to do is spray the room!

Stones. If you have a cage necklace, putting a gemstone associated with Mabon in it is a great way to celebrate. This is a great option if you don't have any energy to do anything else. Saphire, Yellow and Red Agates, Amethyst, Lapis Luzille, and Cornealian are the gemstones associated with Mabon. Right now, I am wearing Amethyst.

Donating to charities. Part of Mabon is giving thanks for the abundance we have in life. You could make a one-time donation to a charity of choice. Giving thanks for our abundance are in congruent with giving to people in need. Many of us Spoonies are probably on fixed incomes and may not be able to donate money. This is fine. Giving back to someone in need is the goal here. If you have any clothes collecting dust, you can donate to nursing homes, homeless shelters, and womens shelters. If you crochet or knit, you could make hats, scarves, and mittens for donations as well. Maybe a witchy friend needs some help with research.

Decorating. Mabon is a great time to do some decorating for fall and for spooky season. For us (spoonies), it can seem daunting and out of reach to do a whole house of fall decor. So let's pick one spot and decorate to the best of our ability. I have a general altar by my bedside on my nightstand. It can also be one spot in a book shelf, or even just one ornament. The goal is to decorate on a smaller scale so it is not so overwhelming. Also, it is okay to ask for help. If you have a PCA or friend/family member who can help you, it would be ideal. You may be able to cover more ground that way if you can get help with this activity.

Journaling. Journaling may end up in every article I write. So what do you journal about during Mabon? Start a gratitude journal, or write in the one you already have if you have one. Also, you can journal your goals and intentions for the upcoming year. This you can do laying down or sitting. Journaling helps us to see what we did accomplish and what we didn't . You may journal about new steps, new ideas, and anything that may help you accomplish your goals and intentions this year. Another option to journal about is journaling thoughts and ideas that no longer serve you. Journal about those negative thoughts about yourself or others and release the negativity to re-energize yourself.

Reading and doing research on Mabon or other fall celebrations around this time of year. There is so much to learn about this history of ancient pagans and their lore. Read some stories such as persephone's abduction and descent back into the underworld. Mabon is actually relatively new and based on Gerald Gardner's Wicca. Wicca is a neo-pagan religion that uses witchcraft. History is important to learning about making your own practice yours. https://www.reddit.com/r/witchcraft/comments/1flpdd7/happy_mabon/ This is just an overview.

Meditate. Meditation can be done laying down or sitting up. Whichever method you may prefer. Meditation on balance can be done in any way you can. Youtube has tons of meditation videos you can do to balance your energy. Youtube also has Mabon music and meditation videos, specifically for Mabon.

Celebrate Late. If you are not able to celebrate on the 20 or 21st and still want to, celebrate on a different day. In my opinion, you can celebrate anytime from the 18th-24th. Some older festivals lasted for days anyway.

If you don't have the energy, celebrate it when you are able to. Don't push yourself just because you feel you have to. If you miss this holiday, dont worry about it! You're still a pagan witch! Ancient pagans relied on the lunar calendar, and it is likely that the second fall harvest didn't land on the equinox.

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Unhinged Kitchen: Lucifer ft. Charlie

Lucifer: *standing at the kitchen counter with various ingredients around him* Hellooooooo, and welcome to Hazbin Hotel's Unhinged Kitchen! Where we will be going over the poor man, the bachelor, the college student way of cooking and baking for all your comfort foods!

Charlie: Dad, what are you doing?

Lucifer: Just teaching all the poor, forever alone Sinners how to cook and bake on a budget!

Vaggie: I think he's projecting, Babe....

Lucifer: *clears his throat* Have you ever wanted a nice, comforting, delicious, warm apple pie but don't have the money to pay for a whole one at the store? Well, today I'm going to show you all how to make cheap and easy apple crisp! All you're gonna need is some instant oats, butter, powdered cinnamon, vanilla extract, and a form of apples we will go over later. Oh! and light brown sugar if you wish!

First! Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit or 176 Celsius. *turns on oven.*

Next! You're gonna want to put a pot on the stove around medium heat, and then plop on in a whopping three sticks of butter!

Charlie: Three?!?! Dad!!! Are you sure that's right?!?!?!

Lucifer: Oh! Right! You may need that fourth stick of butter, so keep in on hand.

Charlie: *jaw drops*

Lucifer: Now, we're gonna melt these bad boys while sprinkling in cinnamon, light brown sugar, and vanilla extract. Not too much to start, mind you. Brown sugar should be maybe a spoon full. The rest is gonna be to taste after we get the oats in.

Charlie: *holding up five different types of spoons* WHICH SPOON?!?!?

Lucifer: Any of them. We adjust to taste later. ANYWAY!!! Stir all this together and add 18 ounces or one small container of quick oats! *pops open the lid of an oatmeal container and dumps everything into the pot before stirring everything together* Aaaaaaannnnd stir, baby, stir!!! We want these bad boys completely coated in the delicious butter mix! Soak up aaaaaaallllll that slick, buttery goodness! If you're still dry, don't worry! Add another stick and you'll be fine! Add more of your cinnamon or brown sugar or whatever until you like the taste.

Angel: HA!!! That's what she said!!!

Charlie: ......I'm worried about you, Dad.

Lucifer: Now that we have our evenly coated oats, we're going to make our apple mixture! But, apples are EXPENSIVE!!! And taking the time to cut and peel and core them is exhausting enough without having to fry or bake them in MORE butter and whatever.

Charlie: *burps uncomfortably* You mean... there could be MORE butter???

Niffty: YAY!!! BRING ON THE CHOLESTEROL!!!

Lucifer: So! We're going to take the easy way out! Apples may be expensive, but you know what isn't? APPLE PIE FILLING AND CANNED FRIED APPLES!!! *pulls out two cans of pie filling and two cans of fried apples before grabbing a can opener and popping open each can with a satisfying TSSSHHHHHHH!!!*

Alastor: *wendigo screeches in the distance* WHO IS DESACRATING THE HOLY SANCTITY THAT IS FRIED APPLES?!?!

Lucifer: SHUT IT, BELHOP!!! Anyway! Put the apple pie filling in the bottom of a 9x13 inch pan, or standard cake baking pan, then drain all the liquid out of the fried apples. *holds the tops of the cans closed as he drains the juice into the sink with a wet SCHLURP!!!*

Vaggie: ....Ew......

Lucifer: Might have to jiggle them a little bit to get all the juice out. *shakes the cans into the sink and a more rated-R sound fills the air*

Angel: Ha! No wonder why you call this the bachelor's baking! That sounds like-

Charlie: *covers her ears and groans* UuuUuUUUuuuuuUuUUuggghhh.....

Vaggie: *helps cover Charlie's ears* Lucifer, what the fuck?

Lucifer: Aaaaaaaannnnd!!! Dump into the pan! Now that we have the two types of apples in, we're going to take a page out of Carmilla Carmine's book and add a little love!

Charlie: Oh! Baking with love! That sounds nice!

Lucifer: *adds a little more cinnamon and vanilla to the mix before slapping his bare hand into the mix and swirling everything around with a slightly deranged look on his face*

Angel: .........Char.... I think your dad needs to get laid....

Vaggie: ......No amount of therapy will ever make this okay.....

Charlie: *dry heaving into the trash can*

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!! We are experiencing some technical difficulties. We apologize for the inconvenience. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!*

Lucifer: *standing with a freshly baked apple crisp on the counter and his hair in disarray* And THAT is how you make a poor man's apple crisp!

Hazbins: *shock and disgust*

[rainintheevening]

OG Bus Team and Cooking Skills:

Coulson is quite good in a kitchen. He knows a few things, always uses good quality stuff like olive oil or butter or real mayo. But he doesn’t usually have time for anything fancy, so it's often sandwiches or pasta salad. He does do a mean roast chicken. Does a fantastic grilled cheese. He also has a weakness for burgers.

Grant is a grill guy. Turns out perfect burgers. Keeps the chicken juicy. Has a secret sauce recipe (from his southern grandma). Otherwise never fancy. The only thing he can really bake is chocolate chip oatmeal cookies. Makes really good hot chocolate. Also a credible bartender, mixes a mean martini.

May is a good baker. Decent cook, has a lot of good Chinese recipes her mother taught her. But she likes the precision of baking, and the patience of waiting for it to finish in the oven. She likes the repetative motions of kneading bread. She's especially good with cakes, and will covertly try recipes from The Great British Bake Off, until she's got them down. Has the highest spice tolerance on the team.

Jemma? Can't cook. I mean, enough to live on, but not enough to really enjoy. She makes really good sandwiches though! And she's good with inventing sauces and dressings; she enjoyes the chemistry of it. She helped May perfect her carmel-cinnamon drizzle for her apple cake.

Fitz also cannot cook; he's even worse than Jemma. Constantly lets things boil over or burn. Gets taken off the cooking roster after two tries. The best taste-tester though. Can pick up on all kinds of subtle flavours. While at the same time being able to eat cold burnt toast without noticing??

Skye wants to cook, but never got beyond KD on her own. She's shy about trying, but Jemma shows her a few things, and then Grant quickly takes her under his wing. She makes fantastic Mexican food, and her spice tolerance is second only to May's, surprising everyone. Also eventually concocts a veggie cream soup that everyone loves when they're under the weather.

[toxictigertonic]

Okay. Here me out. I know I already asked for something and this i can't ask for anything ever again from you but please your magnificents I am but a poor little British boy asking for the crust of your bread:

WHAT IF THEY WERE HOSTING A BAKE SALE. WHAT IF.

Keep asking me things!! I love to yap!! My bread crusts are free, I shall even throw in some butter for them!!

A bake sale hosted by the prime assets for the reagents would be the most hectic, hilarious, and probably dangerous thing you've ever seen, and that's saying a lot. Where did they get the baking materials? Did anyone follow a recipe? Should you eat anything that Franco or Leland had a hand in creating? Who knows!

COYLE

- He cannot bake to save his life.

- It's both underbaked and overbaked at the same time. Outside's burnt to a cinder and the inside is still batter. Turn down the heat on your oven you fool.

- He'd either try to make something really simple, like oatmeal cookies, or he'd think he's a God at baking and try to make some shit like macarons or a soufflé.

- Kinda guy who thinks he can just fuck with the measurements and imgredients in a recipe and still have it come out the same. Also doubles his recipes and forgets to double the baking soda (I'm guilty of that ngl)

- The reagents would buy his baked goods just to use them as throwable items. Bricks are out, Coyle's homemade oatmeal rocks are in.

- Honestly I think he'd be good at making things taste good, he just can't bake them properly.

- As for being at the bake sale, he's immediately jealous of how good Phyllis' desserts look. They've got that homemade charm but still look amazing.

- Takes some comfort in seeing the mess Franco is serving up though.

- Would tell people that if they don't like the way his cookies are baked then they should make them themselves. I payed 2 tickets for these cookies I deserve to complain.

MOTHER GOOSEBERRY

- The QUEEN of the bake sale. Bow down to her.

- She spent an entire month planning and prepping for this bake sale, this has been the only thing on her mind for 4 goddamn weeks.

- Makes at least 5 or 6 different desserts, ranging from mini apple pies, to simple chocolate chip cookies, to actual perfectly made macarons. This woman is magic when it comes to baking.

- She even has cute little packaging for all of her baked goods. This woman went all out and you better appreciate her.

- Will offer you a sample if you don't know what something is, but if you say you don't like it you better be ready to answer to Futterman.

- Futterman is not allowed to advertise the baked goods. Mainly bc anyone who says they aren't interested is chased down. There's no more room underneath the table to hide unfortunate reagents.

- Besides, Phyllis is already amazing at advertising her own baked goods. Her personality makes people want to try her stuff immediately (and the table smells heavenly).

- By the end of the bake sale, her table is empty. Sold through everything and had people begging to order stuff from her. (There might be some angel dust in those cookies but don't tell her I told you that)

- Franco was not allowed to try any of her baked goods. Samples are only for paying customers, little man. He tried to snag one secretly many a time but he's almost gotten a drill to the hand as punishment.

- Coyle and Franco fight over who gets to lick the spoon when she's done mixing batter. Neither of them get it, Futterman gets the spoon.

FRANCO

- I want you to be honest now. Would you really eat anything he made? Would you trust his baking skills?

- Remember how I said he likes his cookies severely underbaked? That's what he's bringing to the bake sale. Just nearly raw cookie dough. And it's not even good cookie dough.

- I love him, you know I do, but he would not change spoons between taste testing the dough.

- Forgot about the bake sale until the day of and just threw something together so Phyllis wouldn't yell at him for not participating.

- The only way I'm trusting anything he makes is if Phyllis is supervising him. They can make thumbprint cookies together :)

- Honestly I'd probably just give him 50 dollars and let him buy things rather than allow him to sell things. Let him buy some cake pops.

- The reagents bully him for his shitty baking skills, and the poor guy had to hand Lupara off to Phyllis at the door. He's just gotta take it, or start a fist fight.

- He'd throw a mini tantrum anytime somebody bought from the other two. How DARE you not buy his cookies, he made them with love! And potentially teeth.

- Spends most of the bake sale trying to steal a single thing from Phyllis bc she won't let him have any samples. Hides under the table and keeps getting his hand slapped by her.

Keep sending in requests, art or headcanons I don't mind! It gives me something to do and I love any chance to draw or think of the sillies.

[kb-maillet]

Today’s Stress Baking: Maple Oatmeal Muffins (guide for what I did is down below)

Bone Apple Tea!

1 Bag of Quaker Oats Muffin Mix (Oatmeal)

2 Eggs

1 1/2 Cups Water

1 Cup Maple Butter

1/2 tbsp Cinnamon

1/4 tbsp Nutmeg

1/4 tbsp Ginger

If you’re using jumbo cupcake pans (muffin pans) then this makes 12. Cupcake sized? Haven’t a clue! Also the bag is a lair for yield cause I only got 6 (my step-by-step instructions are down below). My brother eats my baking as well which is why I’m doing 12 - if you want 6, just half the recipe.

Preheat oven to 350 F (176 C)

Mix all ingredients together (muffin mix if your canvas, it’s your friend)

Put the paper liners (the thing that makes your muffins mobile) into the pan, don’t grease the pan cause there no point to it.

So when I measured it, I got a cup per muffin - they rise up to just the right amount. Also an optional step but if you want a crunch top, sprinkle some sugar on them before putting them in the oven.

Bake for 30 minutes then check the centre with a toothpick. If there’s stuff sticking to it, add 8 mins. The bag will say 450 for 15-20 mins but we 350 - 30 mins for muffins at work and they come out great every time.

LET THEM COOL OFF, DON’T TAKE THEM OUT UNTIL THEY’RE COOLED OFF ENOUGH. I’d say about 10mins if you have a rack (for air circulation) but 15 mins if you don’t have one and just leave it on the counter.

[steddieas-shegoes]

Hello my love! I’m here asking for more even if this is not what you mean because yesterday and today have both been DAYS and I’m shaking because of overstimulation SO.

That thing? When the skin around your nails gets dry? And catches on that specific type of fabric? And it pulls at your SOUL until you want to shrivel up and die? That. Can you write something with that? Or something with one of the boys getting overstimulated to the point they can’t do anything for fear they’re going to act out in a “Bad Way” (aka yelling, hitting, crying, etc.) and the other helps talk them down somehow? I don’t completely know if I know what I’m asking for but if you want a prompt:

“Everything’s just too much and if I do anything other than sit here I feel like something bad’s gonna happen.”

(As I was typing that something loud fell and my heart jackrabbited so now I’m shaking even more so. That’s fun. Sorry if I’m not as expressive as usual but I literally Cannot rn)

I’m sorry Too Much™️ was going on my star ✨ Today will be better because I said so!!!

Steve knew it was a bad day before he even got out of bed. He was tempted not to get out of it, actually.

But he had work, and he had his afternoon class at the community college, and he promised Dustin he’d bake cookies for his Hellfire meeting.

So he went to work, he went to his afternoon class, and then he rushed home to bake the apple cinnamon oatmeal cookies.

He put the oven mitt on to take them out of the oven and the mitt brushed just right over a hangnail, causing him to shiver with displeasure and take the mitt off.

He wanted to crawl out of his skin.

He shut off the oven and used a towel to pull the baking sheet out, giving up on baking more even though he had enough dough for another two dozen.

Dustin could live with this.

He walked into the living room, sat down on the couch, and pulled his knees to his chest, trying to focus on slow, steady breathing.

Eddie would be home any minute.

He thought about the last time he’d had a day like this, how he ended up having to lay flat on the floor with just a t-shirt on while Eddie sat next to him, not touching, just there.

He hoped it didn’t come to that.

When Eddie walked in, he took one look at Steve and knew.

“Want me to sit with you, sweetheart?”

Steve nodded.

Eddie sat down carefully, not wanting to jostle him too much or accidentally touch him in a way he wasn’t ready for.

“Can I hold your hand?”

Eddie spoke softly, barely more than a whisper.

Steve nodded.

Eddie took his hand gently, lacing their fingers together loosely.

“Did something happen?”

“No. Just woke up like this. Got worse. Don’t wanna move. Don’t want anything else to happen.”

“Okay, love. We can sit right here as long as you need.”

Steve relaxed further into the couch, closing his eyes and not thinking about the way his jeans felt on his legs, how they were rough in the wrong places when he sat down, rubbing against his ankles and knees wrong.

Everything felt wrong.

“Need these off.”

Steve pulled his hand from Eddie’s and standing up.

Eddie watched as he stripped them off, but didn’t say anything.

“Floor.”

Eddie nodded and stood up from the couch as Steve went to his spot on the floor.

“Pillow?”

Steve shook his head.

Eddie sat next to him, held his hand out so Steve could take it if he wanted.

He seemed to relax a bit when Steve finally did.

“I love you, Stevie. I’m right here if you need anything.”

“Love you.”

They stayed there for at least an hour, but Eddie didn’t complain.

He never complained.

Steve always made his way out of it, every sound and touch finally felt normal again after a while.

And Eddie was there to hold him and talk to him when he did.

[female-malice]

Lifehack: if apples and pears are inexpensive in your region, buy a lot of them.

You can use apples and pears in LITERALLY every dish

Breakfast? Apple or pear pancakes

Muffins? Apple muffins

Oatmeal? Add cooked apples to the oatmeal

Snack? Apples and peanut butter

Pear snack? Cheese and pear slices on a cracker

Soup? Add chopped apples

Curry? Grate apples into your sauce

Quesadilla? Add thin slices of pear

Pizza? Add thin slices of pear

Meat? Cook apples and serve them on top of the meat

Squash? Bake cubed squash with chopped apples

Sweet treat? Cook apples and/or pears in microwave with sugar and cinnamon

Fancy treat? Peel and core apple, wrap in pastry dough, sprinkle sugar and cinnamon in core, bake in oven

Fancy pear treat? Line muffin tin with pastry dough, fill dough cups with diced pears and honey, bake in oven

And there's several more apple and pear combos to discover. Just buy a bunch of apples and find out! All of these things can be achieved with basic tools but a peeler helps a lot. The apple peel can interfere with the cooked apple texture. I usually don't bother peeling pears though because it's a mess

[saltofmercury]

hello my dearest, may i request a soft/fluff of baker!reader teaching/showing any cod character of your choice, how to bake/making pastries, just pure fun and giggles 🤭🥰

freaking love your writing, thank you for your time❤️

“Cookies”

Thousands of miles away, at some base in a new country, there’s a craving disrupting Soap’s body. It’s random, bubbling inside him, and growing everyday.

“You think they got chocolate chips here?” He asked Gaz one morning during breakfast.

“Er— I’m sure the cook has something, he’s American.”

Soap, embarrassed by already craving something you made, was not about to ask another man to bake him cookies— let alone bake those cookies, fuck them up, and have to eat them because he asked him to do them.

On FaceTime that night, he’s complaining about how bad he needs those cookies.

“You don’t understand pet, it’s like a need at this point.” He scoffed, his mouth watering imagining the mini chocolate chips you use, the softness of the cookie in the middle, the crunchy, salty edges he saves to get that perfect last bite.

“I could make some and ship them to you,” you offer, knowing that they would get to him pretty late, and if there’s anything worse than a hungry Johnny, it’s a pissed off Johnny.

“Ugh no, as much as I would love that pet, I just know it’s not the same fresh out of the oven like you make them.”

He laughs, then adds,

“look at me, craving sugar like an American, what have you done to me?”

You laugh, and suggest asking the cook if he would make it.

“If he’s American, I’m sure he’s nice and will offer to make them.”

He side eyes you. Remembering how much of an ego he’s got to uphold here. At home, he can be soft, loving, playful.

He’s wrapped around your finger. He’s willing to do anything and everything for you. From carrying your shopping bags, to bringing you your morning coffee. He rubs your feet at night, and warms up your towel once you get out of the shower. He dotes on you, knowing that you’ll return the love if he asks you for something too.

But here? He’s captain. He’s got to lead his team, he’s got to tear it into someone when they do something stupid. He’s a leader here, not your boyfriend.

“Listen, I’ll send you the ingredients. It doesn’t hurt to ask. You’ve got another two months babe.”

*

Soap’s outside the kitchen area, pacing around. He knows he’s going to look like an absolute knob asking another man for cookies.

The cook comes out. He’s a blond man, shorter than Soap, he’s got a fresh buzz cut, going bald at the crown of his head. He’s got pink cheeks, from endless heat surrounding him in the kitchen. He looks at Soap, offers him a timid smile.

“Hey ya mate, how’s it goin?”

“Hello. I’m good how are you?”

“Captain MacTavish, listen I got an usual request for you…” he holds his hand out.

The man freezes up, wondering what sort of request this entails.

“Uh—sure what is it?”

“I need cookies.”

The man laughs at Soap. Guides him to the kitchen where he’s stored some snickerdoodle cookies and oatmeal raisin cookies in a bin. There’s a green apple in the bin, assuming to store its freshness. He looks at Soap, waiting for him to take one.

“Take one.”

Soap does not mean to be rude. The last thing he wants is to offend someone in the kitchen but these aren’t cookies. These aren’t made with love. These cookies look like odd shaped discs. He rubs his hand over his face.

“Listen mate, I don’t mean to come off as a bampot but I was kind of hopin’ you could follow my bird’s recipe.”

The man covers the cookies and stores them away.

“Oh sure. What do you got in mind?”

Soap hands him the recipe he’s written down from your email. The chef looks at it and looks back at Soap. “Chocolate chip?”

“Aye…”

He smiles at Soap, and begins to laugh.

“Kind of funny you call them cookies and not biscuits huh?”

Soap doesn’t find this funny at all. Because of his bird calls them cookies, they’re fucking cookies.

It takes about two weeks to get the ingredients. Soap waits around the kitchen talking to the chef but criticizing everything he does wrong. There’s just no flow to them. There’s no effort put into the cookies. By the time they come out of the oven, they look wonky, misshaped rocks.

Soap judges these cookies HARD. He takes a bite and immediately hates them. He can't believe he ever trusted someone to even try to copy your recipe.

“Nope, sorry mate. We’ve got to call my bird.”

*

It’s 2 in the morning when he calls. You ignore it the first time, thinking it’s a dream, but the second time your phone goes off, you pick it up to see it’s Johnny, calling you via FaceTime. Fear runs through your body, assuming the worst.

As you pick up, you're rubbing sleep out of your eyes, hoping it's nothing serious going on.

Johnny's there, adjusting the camera, smiling big and wide. He's not in his usual office surrounded by dull beige paint and steel furniture. He's in a kitchen? A blond man standing next to him.

"Johnny?"

"Hiya pet! Listen, I know it's late over there but I could really use your help."

You're staring at him, confused.

"What's going on? Are you okay?"

"Course I am, I just need you to guide me step by step on baking your cookies."

You can't fucking believe it. You start laughing hysterically, not willing to believe what he's asking you right now. Part of you feels joy, love, and admiration, you kind of don't care that it's two in the morning, you just want him to suppress the craving he's been having.

You stand up, go to the kitchen, and get your supplies out.

You're standing in your kitchen, it's dark, you've got on one of Johnny's t-shirts on, covering your bum, and your hair is up in a rats nest, clipped by two claw-clips.

"Ok, so first you're going to melt the butter. You're going to need half a cup, so a stick should do." You model it for him then ask him to do the same.

Johnny runs over to the fridge, takes out the butter, puts in the pot.

"Babe, make sure the fire is on low, you don't want to burn it while it melts."

The man walks over and lowers the heat.

"Aye! I almost forgot! Pet this is..." Johnny is stunned that he didn't even ask the poor man's name.

"My name is Richard."

Johnny huffs out a laugh. "Aye, it's Chef Dick."

"Johnny..." You start over the other end of the line, and the chef dismisses it, saying he gets it all the time.

"I'm sorry about him, he can be immature sometimes, we're working on it."

"So, you're going to get half a cup of brown sugar, and a third of a cup of white sugar."

Richard looks at Johnny, who's looking for brown sugar but doesn't have any. Richard walks over to the pantry, gets the white sugar and molasses.

"Guess we got to make our own brown sugar." He mixes the molasses and white sugar until he's got enough. He packs it into the cup.

"Is the butter cooled down yet?" Johnny runs over to the pot, touching the edge of it.

"Yes pet, now what?"

"Okay, you're going to mix the cooled butter, white sugar, and brown sugar together until it's a nice paste like consistency."

He's overestimated the coolness of the butter because it's still pretty hot. He stirs it into the bowl, Richard watching him work with a flat spatula.

Richard interrupts, "excuse me, do you think working with a whisk would work better?"

"Yes Richard!" you chirp, "That would be much better than whatever Johnny is using."

Johnny looks over at you, raising the spatula he's used, replacing it with the whisk that Richard hands over.

You start shouting orders at Richard.

"While he works on that, I need you to get a cup and one-fourth of flour in a bowl, with three-fourths of salt, and half a teaspoon of baking powder and baking soda."

Richard completes this request, Johnny still whisking away at the sugar and butter.

"Let me see how you're doing babe." you tell johnny, but both Richard and Johnny hold up their own bowls, Johnny laughing at Richard.

You ignore them, clearly flustered, and tell Johnny to mix in the two teaspoons of vanilla extract and one egg.

Johnny goes and mixes it in, you see the way his eyes light up.

"OH fucking hell, pet this is what they look like!" He's proud of himself, then waits for the next step.

"Okay, now I need you to fold in the flour that Richard has into that bowl, with the spatula you had. Do it in small batches Johnny, don't pour it all in at once."

Johnny is folding it in, Richard helping him with little pieces here and there. Once that's completed, you tell him to put in the chocolate chips.

"You don't have to measure, just whatever your heart tells you."

"Aye, and my heart tells me to put in half the bag." Johnny pours in the chips, then folds them in.

"Look at me pet, just look at me! I can make what you make!" you laugh from the other end, knowing that he's going to hate the next part.

"You preheated the oven? 350?"

"No, fucking hell, Richard what’s 350 degrees!?"

Richard goes over to the oven and preheats it. Richard comes back to the screen, then waits for your next order.

"Alright, you're gonna need an ice cream scoop. Once you've settled about 5 cookies on the sheet pan, you bake for 12 minutes."

Richard looks at you, then Johnny.

"Ice cream scoop?"

"Yeah pet, why do we need an ice cream scoop?"

"To scoop the cookies onto the pan, that's how you get them big enough, the way you like them."

Richard lines up the pan with parchment paper, begins to scoop the cookies onto the pan.

"Jesus dick, you've got the hands of an angel look how evenly you've placed them!"

Johnny brings the phone over, and you praise Richard for giving each cookie a good amount of space.

They wait until the oven beeps, placing the sheet of cookies inside, and Richard setting a timer on the oven.

As they wait, Richard asks for your name.

"oh it's-"

Johnny interrupts, saying that it's classified, and to not get any ideas trying to look you up on any social media accounts.

You ignore Johnny and tell Richard to go ahead.

The three of you talk about what's going on in the world, the plans you have for this weekend, and what made Richard become a chef for the 141. As Richard tells you his life story, Johnny walks over to the oven, beaming that they've officially gone down, only a few more seconds until they're in his hands.

The timer goes off, and Richard and Johnny look at each other. Richard goes to pull the cookies out of the oven, wide eyed at how perfect they look.

“So that’s the secret to the perfect shape huh?”

“Make sure they cool for about 3 minutes!” You yell out.

Richard placed them on a cooling rack, begins to prepare the other cookies with the ice cream scoop.

Johnny smiles at the camera, watching you clean up your things.

“Aye pet, I love you, you know that? I’m glad you could help.”

You offer a tired smile, walking back to your bed.

Richard and Johnny each get a cookie, melting before your eyes.

“Hot dog! These are fantastic!” He looks at you, Johnny laughing at his American coming out.

“Did ya hear that pet? He said hot dog like Mickey Mouse…” Johnny holding back his laughter.

“Alright guys, enjoy the cookies. Baby I expect a call from you tomorrow night.”

“Aye pet! Thank you for this.”

“Thank you pet? I appreciate the new ideas you’ve given me!” Richard says in the background.

You hang up.

Johnny sits back against the counter looking at Richard.

“Ice cream scoop. Who would’ve thought?”

[nova-dracomon]

Vegan Kin Food Ideas

S'up! So, we've been seeing a lot of kin food posts, but the focus is always on meat. Then when vegan or vegetarian options are listed it's like salad + fruit and that's it. We've been vegan for some years now so here's a list of things we eat that we think others might enjoy too!

A piece of advice we found helpful is to think about the food item you miss and break it down into what exactly you miss. If you miss eating gems, is it the appearance? The crunch? Gritty texture or dry taste? In that spirit of that, our list will be largely broken up by texture/experience.

Crunch Crunch Snacks

This includes snacks/sides that get your jaws working or have a satisfying "snap" to them.

Roasted chickpeas

Kale chips

Ants on a log (celery, peanut butter and raisins)

Hummus + baby bell peppers/sugar snap peas/carrots

Granola / cereals (a lot of types are vegan, read the ingredients before purchasing)

Banana chips

Nuts + seeds

Popcorn (avoid "buttery" packages, buy plain or kettle corn)

Peanut butter pretzels (crunchy outside, delicious soft inside)

Smartie candies

Keep your cookies/chocolate bars in the fridge or freezer

Also, load cookies up with extra nuts/seeds/choco chips

Soft, but with some crunch

This section is for dishes/sides that are overall easier on the teeth, but with elements that still crunch or snap. If you're looking for recipes that combine different texture elements check these out.

Lentil nachos + nacho cheese sauce

"Crunchwrap" (quesadilla made with refried beans and homemade cheese sauce that we open and place tortilla chips and lettuce inside after grilling)

Tempeh bacon (we like this on a BLT or grilled cheese sandwich)

Crispy tofu sandwiches

Grilled asparagus

Apple slices with nut butter

Pickles

Apple turnovers

Vegan sushi (there's a ton of recipes, check out these two collections to get started X, X)

Falafel (can be used a hundred different ways, sandwiches, wraps, on it's own, etc.)

Roasted chickpeas again, but with a caveat**: You can roast them at 350 F for 30 mins and they'll be cooked enough to pop between your teeth, but soft in the center. We like to either eat them as-is or top our salads with them. (We season with salt/pepper before going into the oven, nothing else) **Must be eaten after baking, they will not keep

For the foragers in the crowd

These dishes focus more on having either multiple different foods in a visible way or a tactile element to how you eat them.

Chia pudding

Smoothie bowls

Overnight oatmeal

Trail mix

Pumpkin bars (We replace the egg with a flax egg and use vegan butter)

Chocolate chip banana monkey bread

Corn on the cob

Grilled veggie kebabs

Cranberry cilantro quinoa salad

Chili

Bush's beans and rice

Salads topped with sliced fruit, nuts, grains and/or beans

Edamame (a favorite, we love pulling out the insides with our teeth, you can get ones without the pods if they bother you)

Plant-based burgers, the kinds with the chunks of veggies (our favorite is dr. praeger's black bean quinoa burgers)

Chewy Foods

This section is for foods that work your jaw, but more in a "needing to chew" way.

Potato gnocchi

Dried fruit (comes in all different flavors, not just raisins)

Swedish fish, red vines, skittles or sour patch kids

Granola bars (a lot of types are vegan, read the ingredients before purchasing)

Thick bread-y pizza (our favorite dough recipe)

Pancakes

Chewy chocolate chip cookies

Peanut butter cookies

Baked oatmeal

Potato skins

Meat Substitutes

The most obvious way to make a dish vegan is to sub in the appropriate mock meat. We've eaten quite a few and we won't sugar-coat it: a lot of them are either going to match the taste, texture, OR look. It's hard for mock meats to copy meat 1:1, some get way closer than others, but if you go into this expecting no difference you will be disappointed.

Our two favorite brands are Impossible and Gardein. We've tried a lot of their products and have yet to eat one we don't like.

These aren't your only options though!

Beans

Falafel (deep-fried balls of ground chickpea)

Tofu

Tempeh (fermented soybeans)

Seitan (made from wheat gluten)

Jack fruit

You might have guessed based on the recipes shared, but we usually opt for beans. We haven't eaten much seitan or jack fruit, but they are options. At our local grocery stores they're sold in the "free from" section and can be brought pre-seasoned and ready to cook with. Jack fruit in particular is a popular replacement for shredded pork.

The trick with a lot of these is to marinate them. Tofu in particular so you can infuse it with flavor. Here's a few recipes we love:

Lentil and sweet potato loaf ("Neat"loaf)

Marinated tofu

Crispy tofu sandwiches

Tempeh bacon

Chili (our mom's recipe that we modified)

Soft / Squish

For things that are soft or squishy and you can slurp up.

Seaweed salad

miso soup

Pico de Gallo Black Bean Soup

"Nice" cream

Chocolate mousse

Oatmeal

Popsicles

Applesauce

Brownie batter hummus

Chia seed jam

Lavender syrup (to flavor other drinks, we use it in coffee)

Lavender lemonade (final product will be a light brown color)

Mashed potatoes + Gravy

Slow cooker apple cider

Tofu scramble

JUST egg

Non-dairy mac and cheese (our favorite brand is the upton's)

Smoothies (if you're looking for a protein powder to include, we recommend Vega)

**Just a reminder to supplement for B12 if you're consuming a vegan diet. There are some foods that are fortified with it; however, a supplement is cheap, easy to find and all-around a more reliable way to ensure you are getting enough.

[bakingtherapy]

Breakfast with Cordelia #18 Zucchini Crisp

Sul Sul, Gerbits! Today we are going to be making a recipe that I would call “I can’t believe it’s not apple crumble.” It has a surprising ingredient: zucchini. 

Is anyone shocked at this point that I have another zucchini recipe? But, don’t be discouraged I am nowhere near done with the zucchini in my fridge. 

Preheat the oven to 375 °F. 

You are going to need two bowls. One small and one large.

In the large bowl, you are going to combine your diced zucchini with the lemon juice, both granulated and light brown sugar. Granulated sugar is just a fancy way of saying your normal table sugar or the sugar that you put in your coffee or tea. Add the cinnamon, nutmeg, and flour.

Pour this mixture into a 2quart baking dish. If you don’t know if a particular dish is 2 quarts you can always check the bottom of the pan. That is where the measurement is. 

IN the small bowl you can combine all crumble-top ingredients. Using your hands, or you can use a pastry blender if you have sensitive hands. Combine the butter with the dry ingredients, which include brown sugar, flour, oatmeal, cinnamon, and nutmeg. 

Bake for 45 minutes, which is a normal time for a crisp or crumble. Remove the oven and enjoy it. 

It turned out well. Making it taste like an apple crumble. Cain asked me how many apples I put in this dish. I just laughed and beamed with a smile and I showed him with my hands how many apples there were in the dish. He was shocked. I hope you all liked this recipe. 

Make sure to like and subscribe for more recipes like this one in the future

Show the original author some 💖💖💖 Shugary Sweets

Printable version of this recipe: on the blog

Feel free to support me on:

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[hawkelf]

does am do can have sweet potato cookie recipe?

of course can have!

sweet potato n'oatmeal* raisin cookies

ingredients:

1 sweet potato

1 c almond flour (or sub sunflour for nut-free, it says)

1/2 tsp baking soda

3/4 c unsweetened shredded dried cocount

1 T cinnamon

1/2 tsp sea salt

1/4 c coconut oil

1/4 c maple syrup

2 tsp vanilla extract

1/2 c raisins

instructions:

cook the sweet potato. Bake in oven @ 400F until soft (~45 minutes) or nuke 6-8 minutes

set oven to 375F to preheat for cookies

combine flour, baking soda, shredded coconut, cinnamon, and salt in a bowl (or don't if you don't like dishes)

mash sweet potato in a medium mixing bowl, stir in oil, maple syrup, and vanilla extract

fold the dry ingredients into the wet + add raisins

scoop onto a lined cookie sheet or w/e, and flatten to form round(ish, in my experience) cookies - batter does not spread, it will be the shape you make it; the power is yours

bake 15 minutes

These cookies reminded me of good carrot cake. Keep in mind that I haven't had carrot cake in over a decade. But they're really tasty, would also probably be good crumbled on ice cream or as the crumble for apple or cherry something.

The printout my parents gave me had multiple recipes from multiple sources on it, but the picture that was beside this recipe has a holdthegrain.com watermark on it. That website loads blank now.

*yes it says oatmeal, no there's no oatmeal in the ingredients list or the instructions; I threw in 1/2 cup gluten free oats, and got very crumbly, moist cookies. maybe the n'oatmeal (copied verbatim) means no oatmeal and it shouldn't be there? godspeed on the oatmeal thing.

[septembersung]

It's Spring here, aka my favourite Season. Someone should do a version of that ask game but for the 12% of us who live in the Southern Hemisphere and eat strawberries for Christmas. Anyway: Crow - what's (another) unpopular opinion you have on autumn?Frost- anything you're looking forward to? Harvest - do you like going to autumn festivals? Hearth - ideal home? Intricate - what's a subject you have random knowledge about? Macabre - do you have peculiar interests? Oven - what's your favorite holiday thing to bake? Pumpkin Spice - favorite seasonal drink? Syrup - waffles or pancakes? Trains - if you could spend the fall anywhere, where would you go?

~da&winnz x

Bless you for putting the whole question in, I’m stuck on mobile and it’s tedious otherwise.

Crow: This isn’t fall specific but I just hate ✨Aestheticism✨. So what’s the difference between that and genuinely living in and appreciating the season?? Idk man it’s a vibe. There may not even be much substance here, maybe I just don’t like people enjoying things.

Harvest: Generally speaking, yes!

Hearth: Big. With flex rooms. Two laundry rooms. In the middle of absolutely nowhere on a lot of land.

Intricate: Vatican II and its aftermath. (Please do not ask me about Vatican II.)

Macabre: I am so basic. So basic. (I’m devastated.)

Oven: Not me, but my husband makes these chocolate chip cherry oatmeal cookies and they are so SO good!

Pumpkin spice: apple cider or hot chocolate

Syrup: I love them both so so much

Trains: Somewhere a little more north where we could experience The Stereotype.

You’re absolutely right about needing the spring version!! Surely there’s one floating around somewhere, deep in the maw of the tumblr search engine

[finnglas]

So the hot buttered apple in Zelda looked so goddamn good, and I had a bunch of apples, so.......

Take the number of apples of your choosing (I did four). Core them, chop off the top, use a melon baller to scrape out part of the top. Stuff the empty core with a mixture of whatever you please as long as it contains brown sugar -- I put instant oatmeal (cinnamon roll flavor) and lemon juice in mine -- then put a pat of butter on top. Put them in an oven-safe dish, pour about a half inch of water around them, bake them at 375F. Mine ended up going for almost an hour before they were tender enough to be done. (Optional, the brown sugar will likely leak into the water during cooking, so you can spoon that back over the apples while they're cooking if you want. I did it at the very end.)

I mixed up a whipped butter/honey mixture and spread over the top of mine when I served them.

So good. Soooo, so good. The apple is still tart even though it's tender and sweet, and the oats+sugar+butter make a type of granola, and then the honey butter drizzle...so good...

[robbybirdy]

Summertime Baking Series #3- Crisps

Summertime baking therapy - #3 Crisps

Hello everybirdie!

Today we are going to be doing one of my simplest recipes that I know by heart. Fruit crisp. It is a staple dessert in my house. especially if we have an abundance of one particular fruit. Usually apples, but today it is frozen blueberries.

Its so simple. You are going to need: Fruit filling • fruit that you need to eat right away so it doesn't go bad. ( I have used apples, pears, and now with thus recipe blueberries) • sugar • flour For the topping: • Brown sugar • oatmeal • flour • Spices (cinnamon, nutmeg, any other spice that will go with your fruit.

The reason I didn't give any measurements with the recipe is because each dish is going to be different. You really just have to eyeball it.

So we are going to be using the Cusinart Toaster Convection oven for this recipe. You could easily use the regular oven for this. However I wanted to stay true yo the series. So I baked it in the Convection oven.

I greased a square 9x9 pan with nonstick spray. And preheated the convection oven to 325 F ( for a regular oven it would be 350 F.)

Now for the time… This is actually kinda the tricky part of working with a convection oven, you have to reduce the time but at the same time you don't want to serve raw dessert. Yes, technically you could serve this raw and slightly get away with it. But them the topping would be crunchy. So bake this for about 10 MINUTES it's and the check on it, if you think it needs more time then add it. Like a wise woman once told me (my mom) " you can always add time you can't subtract it. Always go with the lowest number on the box then add time if it needs. "

I love this dish. It is not just a summer dish thougn. I'm always putting an apple crisp together in the middle of winter because apples are easy to get fresh where I live. I have also been known to do this recipe.with canned and frozen fruits.

I hope that you like this recipe. Feel free to.check out my other recipes.

Almonds to Zucchini :

[shadowfromthestarlight]

I need some healthy snack ideas if you don't mind.

Mhmm, a really good one is roasting your own nuts! I've done it with cashews and almonds but lately I've been into pecans - soaking them in a bowl with water and salt for several hours, up to 12 hours, then leaving them in the oven at 150 or as low as yours will go for at least 8 hours. Or you can just buy nuts "raw" or "dry-roasted" and add your own salt and/or olive oil whenever you can't roast them yourself.

I also really like MASA chips - they're fried in tallow. Whenever I let someone try them they like them! They're a bit of a pain because they're rare in stores, you have to order them, and they're not cheap, but I find it worth it to subscribe.

Another chip brand that you're more likely to find in stores is Siete, and I like to get their avocado oil-fried blue chips.

For crackers, I'm starting to exclusively use Rustic Bakery sourdough olive oil crackers, they're delicious and extremely simple, lacking a lot of the ingredients that make most crackers (such an innocuous-sounding snack, we've been so deceived!) really unhealthy. Stonewall Kitchen also has some crackers that are seed oil-free.

I also like to try protein balls whenever I see them at a coffee shop, everyone seems to have their own recipe, they're a good satisfying snack. I've been trying to copy them on my own but (to me at least) they're more challenging than they look. Lately, I've been making muffins using bananas, apple cider, whole organic spelt flour, copious amounts of cinnamon (and the standard egg, baking soda, baking powder, salt, vanilla extract, butter) and getting very positive responses! I've also been making gluten-free, incidentally vegan cookies with pure peanut butter, coconut oil, and oatmeal.