#outlaw marriages

[lizabethstucker]

Outlaw Marriages by Rodger Streitmatter

3.5 out of 5

As the title conveys, this is a collection of same-sex relationships, with a focus on the folks we might or might not recognize. Writers, actors, collectors, artists paired with people who were muses or with a similar interests.

If you're looking for in-depth details, this might not be the book for you. I would call this a sampler of the history of these couples, an overview of who they are, how they met, how they managed to mesh their personal and professional lives, and whether they managed to stay together as the years rolled on.

The author has, however, provided a wealth of footnotes with more detailed references that can expand on what happened in their lives. I did enjoy this look behind the heteronormative history we are usually given. For me the surprise wasn't in who was gay/bisexual/lesbian, it was how long most of them stayed together in times that were, frankly, dangerous for sexually loving relationships.

[onebluebookworm]

June 2023 Book Club Picks

Outlaw Marriages: The Hidden History of Fifteen Extraordinary Same-Sex Couples - Rodger Streitmatter: One of the most popular (and irritating) things LGBT people hear from scared reactionaries is "This is a recent trend that kids learn about on tiktok! There are no LGBT people in history." Rodger Streitmatter sets out to prove that assertion wrong by showcasing fifteen same-sex couples that were, for all intents and purposes, close enough to be considered married, from grandfather of American poetry Walt Whitman to glamorous actress Greta Garbo to social reformist Jane Addams.

The Trauma Cleaner: One Woman's Extraordinary Life in Death, Decay, and Disaster by Sarah Krasnostein: Husband, father, drag queen, sex worker, wife - Sandra Pankhurst was all of these things over the course of her life. By the time Sarah Krasnostein met her, Sandra had made a business out of handling trauma. In the filthy homes of hoarders and the lonely flats of overdose deaths, Sandra sashays in with a kind word and an understanding air to help people clean up when life becomes overwhelming. As Krasnostein explores Sandra's life leading up to the founding of her business, we learn what Sandra had to go through to become the Trauma Cleaner.

Afterlife: Steven, Sonny, and Del are "widows" - all three met in the hospital when their lovers died within a week of each other from AIDS complications. Through potluck dinners and emotional phone calls, they've tried to help each other pick up the pieces and move on, but things are quickly changing, and not entirely for the better. Del has turned to political activism to distract himself from his anger and pain. Sonny indulges in shallow hook-ups and new-age spirituality to find something to numb himself. And Steven is running himself ragged to take care of everyone but himself. When another friend falls ill, all three must make decisions that may effect the course of their entire lives and the future of their friendship.

I'm Afraid of Men by Vivek Shraya: Vivek Shraya has reason to be afraid. The world of the masculine has never been much to her but cruel and aggressive, forcing her to perform at masculinity to get out of her childhood alive. Even as an adult, that fear haunts her, forcing her to make compromises to steel herself against heartbreak, threats, and her own mental health.

Foolish Hearts by Emma Mills: Claudia didn't mean to eavesdrop on the breakup of power couple Paige and Iris. All she wanted to do was use the bathroom. But now Claudia is on the wrong side of prickly Iris's temper, and will do anything to make amends. Unfortunately for Claudia, that means being thrown into a production of A Midsummer Night's Dream against her will. But all that changes when she meets the goofiest, most charming boy she's ever known and she starts to legitimately bond with Iris.

[nenehyuuchiha]

I love you Jason Todd with white streak, I love you 🛐

[meezer]

him: are you fucking stupid

me:

[ghost-qwq]

idk even what to say with this post tbh

[rwpohl]

ellie parker, scott coffey 2005

[thereallycoolmonsterithoughtup]

milsiril and mithrun dating truly is the nightmare scenario for kabru . genuinely hilarious

i think he'd come around eventually but there needs to be a three week long period of mourning

[bredforloyalty]

maybe he's right maybe men and women aren't supposed to work

[tsukidrama]

So I was just curious, in the road not taken, Annie and the reader have moved in together and have pretty much completely committed to spending the rest of their lives with each other, but they still refer to each other as their girlfriend. So, obviously, they aren't married, but I was just curious. Does one/both of them want to be? Or is it just a case of labels not meaning much to them? If this is something lore important that'll come up later, you don't have to answer, but if it's not, I’m curious to what the reasoning around that is.

TLDR; oh HELL to the yes. i will definitely be addressing the status of their relationship in the main plot!

let's be real, though. Annie DOES NOT care about getting married. i feel this pretty strongly actually. i love her to death and obviously, the idea of a wedding fills my heart with joy. but she would not be the one pushing to get married, she would think that's too excessive. the way Annie sees it - they live together, they sleep together, they're vulnerable with each other, they support each other, and basically every other thing that defines a married couple. what's the point of a little ceremony? it's not like it would change their relationship. even at the current moment of the story, they've BEEN together in every way that matters, for years. Annie considers them already married in every way that matters.

[zabadi]

Second place should be selina

[liberaljane]

Women's Not So Distant History

This #WomensHistoryMonth, let's not forget how many of our rights were only won in recent decades, and weren’t acquired by asking nicely and waiting. We need to fight for our rights. Here's are a few examples:

📍 Before 1974's Fair Credit Opportunity Act made it illegal for financial institutions to discriminate against applicants' gender, banks could refuse women a credit card. Women won the right to open a bank account in the 1960s, but many banks still refused without a husband’s signature. This allowed men to continue to have control over women’s bank accounts. Unmarried women were often refused service by financial institutions entirely.

📍 Before 1977, sexual harassment was not considered a legal offense. That changed when a woman brought her boss to court after she refused his sexual advances and was fired. The court stated that her termination violated the 1974 Civil Rights Act, which made employment discrimination illegal.⚖️

📍 In 1969, California became the first state to pass legislation to allow no-fault divorce. Before then, divorce could only be obtained if a woman could prove that her husband had committed serious faults such as adultery. 💍By 1977, nine states had adopted no-fault divorce laws, and by late 1983, every state had but two. The last, New York, adopted a law in 2010.

📍In 1967, Kathrine Switzer, entered the Boston Marathon under the name "K.V. Switzer." At the time, the Amateur Athletics Union didn't allow women. Once discovered, staff tried to remove Switzer from the race, but she finished. AAU did not formally accept women until fall 1971.

📍 In 1972, Lillian Garland, a receptionist at a California bank, went on unpaid leave to have a baby and when she returned, her position was filled. Her lawsuit led to 1978's Pregnancy Discrimination Act, which found that discriminating against pregnant people is unlawful

📍 It wasn’t until 2016 that gay marriage was legal in all 50 states. Previously, laws varied by state, and while many states allowed for civil unions for same-sex couples, it created a separate but equal standard. In 2008, California was the first state to achieve marriage equality, only to reverse that right following a ballot initiative later that year. 

📍In 2018, Utah and Idaho were the last two states that lacked clear legislation protecting chest or breast feeding parents from obscenity laws. At the time, an Idaho congressman complained women would, "whip it out and do it anywhere,"

📍 In 1973, the Supreme Court affirmed the right to safe legal abortion in Roe v. Wade. At the time of the decision, nearly all states outlawed abortion with few exceptions. In 1965, illegal abortions made up one-sixth of all pregnancy- and childbirth-related deaths. Unfortunately after years of abortion restrictions and bans, the Supreme Court overturned Roe in 2022. Since then, 14 states have fully banned care, and another 7 severely restrict it – leaving most of the south and midwest without access. 

📍 Before 1973, women were not able to serve on a jury in all 50 states. However, this varied by state: Utah was the first state to allow women to serve jury duty in 1898. Though, by 1927, only 19 states allowed women to serve jury duty. The Civil Rights Act of 1957 gave women the right to serve on federal juries, though it wasn't until 1973 that all 50 states passed similar legislation

📍 Before 1988, women were unable to get a business loan on their own. The Women's Business Ownership Act of 1988 allowed women to get loans without a male co-signer and removed other barriers to women in business. The number of women-owned businesses increased by 31 times in the last four decades. 

Free download

📍 Before 1965, married women had no right to birth control. In Griswold v. Connecticut (1965), the Supreme Court ruled that banning the use of contraceptives violated the right to marital privacy.

📍 Before 1967, interracial couples didn’t have the right to marry. In Loving v. Virginia, the Supreme Court found that anti-miscegenation laws were unconstitutional. In 2000, Alabama was the last State to remove its anti-miscegenation laws from the books.

📍 Before 1972, unmarried women didn’t have the right to birth control. While married couples gained the right in 1967, it wasn’t until Eisenstadt v. Baird seven years later, that the Supreme Court affirmed the right to contraception for unmarried people.

📍 In 1974, the last “Ugly Laws” were repealed in Chicago. “Ugly Laws” allowed the police to arrest and jail people with visible disabilities for being seen in public. People charged with ugly laws were either charged a fine or held in jail. ‘Ugly Laws’ were a part of the late 19th century Victorian Era poor laws. 

📍 In 1976, Hawaii was the last state to lift requirements that a woman take her husband’s last name.  If a woman didn’t take her husband’s last name, employers could refuse to issue her payroll and she could be barred from voting. 

📍 It wasn’t until 1993 that marital assault became a crime in all 50 states. Historically, intercourse within marriage was regarded as a “right” of spouses. Before 1974, in all fifty U.S. states, men had legal immunity for assaults their wives. Oklahoma and North Carolina were the last to change the law in 1993.

📍  In 1990, the Americans with Disability Act (ADA) – most comprehensive disability rights legislation in U.S. history – was passed. The ADA protected disabled people from employment discrimination. Previously, an employer could refuse to hire someone just because of their disability.

📍 Before 1993, women weren’t allowed to wear pants on the Senate floor. That changed when Sen. Moseley Braun (D-IL), & Sen. Barbara Mikulski (D-MD) wore trousers - shocking the male-dominated Senate. Their fashion statement ultimately led to the dress code being clarified to allow women to wear pants. 

📍 Emergency contraception (Plan B) wasn't approved by the FDA until 1998. While many can get emergency contraception at their local drugstore, back then it required a prescription. In 2013, the FDA removed age limits & allowed retailers to stock it directly on the shelf (although many don’t).

📍  In Lawrence v. Texas (2003), the Supreme Court ruled that anti-cohabitation laws were unconstitutional. Sometimes referred to as the ‘'Living in Sin' statute, anti-cohabitation laws criminalize living with a partner if the couple is unmarried. Today, Mississippi still has laws on its books against cohabitation. 

[rainbowgothdisaster]

forever angry i can sell cigars but can't buy any to roll a fucking blunt

[vithebean]

Yes, hello, im still here. Practising.

Lieutenant Russel, timetravelling alien huntress. And Jack McKenzie, outlaw with a bounty on his head.

She needs to go undercover to find an alien hiding out in a 19th century shoot first, ask later town.

He wants to accept his sisters wedding invitation, in that same town after being disowned 17 years earlier.

They agree to a contract. Get 'married', see his sister, kick some alien ass and go their separate ways again.

Would you read about them?

Because I might write about them.

[mathemon]

Did you hear what they did to Saint Valentine?

He would have never supported the mentally ill or the LBGTQIA+ community.

Tell me you know nothing about history without telling me you know nothing about history

[reasonsforhope]

"Colombia’s congress has voted to change a law that allowed minors to get married with parental consent.

The proposal would make the minimum age for marriage 18, and seeks to protect the rights and development opportunities for minors. It still must be signed into law by President Gustavo Petro.

Currently, the country’s civil code allows person as young as 14 years old to get married with parental consent.

The initial proposal to reform the law – presented in 2023 – used the slogan “they’re girls, not wives” and aimed to prevent young girls from being forced to marry, to be subject to different forms of violence and to miss out on education and development opportunities.

“Minors are not sexual objects, they’re girls,” congresswoman Clara López Obregón said in a statement after the proposal was greenlit.

Child marriage remains a widespread practice worldwide and affects around 12 million girls per year, according to the UN’s agency for children, UNICEF.

But there’s been a global drop in child marriages over the past few years, according to the agency’s statistics. “Ten years ago, one in four young women aged 20 to 24 was married as a child. Today that number has fallen to one in five,” UNICEF said.

In Latin America, poverty is the main factor leading to minors getting married, according to UNICEF."

[neonqueerautumn]

Thinking of getting a queer soapbox tattoo. So I remember that I am loud and proud for a reason. I fight for a reason.

Fuck you for taking one of the brightest things about me and using it as a weapon.