#outfits aren’t that accurate but fuck it lol

[xxadiaa]

drew this in a frenzy after watching the first date episode

[phefics]

i love seeing all the pornstar!aus y’all write and this is not me calling anyone out saying y’all did anything wrong but as someone who has done online sw/been in porn, here are some little tips to make your fics more industry-accurate!! (or don’t, fanfic is for fun and doesn’t have to be realistic!!)

so i worked with a small indie producer who wrote, filmed, edited, and posted all his own shit so i don’t know how big porn sites do their stuff. i also did fetish porn so i’m not familiar with condom/sti testing protocol since i never had sex with anyone on camera!!

normally, i’d show up in comfy clothes and light makeup and change my clothes/touch up my makeup and hair there and i always brought multiple outfit choices to see what worked best (i.e. if my clothes needed to be easily removable, if there was a plot i needed to adhere to)

i personally got paid $200/video but bigger name companies pay better AND if you are a desirable model with a big following, you can charge more - i was a nobody when i started and never felt a need to charge more

lots of paperwork!! you have to show your i.d. and basically sign papers saying that you consented to all acts performed, you consented to being filmed, and that you were properly compensated

90% of models never use their real name in videos, but fellow models usually know one another’s real names, because you usually only use that fake name when the camera is rolling

before a shoot, the director will usually refresh you on the “plot” (if there is one) and what is supposed to happen in the video, remind you and the other model(s) to use stage names, and remind you of one another’s boundaries before hitting record

when the camera is off, you’re covered — even if you’re tied up, someone will usually drape a blanket or towel over you so that you aren’t unnecessarily nude to prevent discomfort — being naked on camera is different than just being awkwardly naked in a room full of people lol

the producer i worked with is like, my friend, and i consider most of the models i worked with as friends/acquaintances so it really isn’t weird to be close with people you meet in the industry, or even date/fuck them (although i haven’t done that personally but i’ve seen it happen!!)

so, that’s all that comes to mind!! if you wanna write pornstar!aus i think they can be so fun, so i hope this post can help inspire you or just feel more confident tackling a topic you might not be familiar with and feel weird googling questions about, lol.

[let-it-raines]

What a Lie We’re In (1/3)

All Emma was doing was trying to be nice. Her roommate didn’t have anywhere to go, so she invited him home for the holidays. She thought it would be fine and Killian would be a good buffer for a week at home with her parents. That is until her ex-boyfriend showed up, and while she was freaking out, Killian told him they were dating.

That would have been fine except her parents overheard it.

(A Christmas Fake Dating AU)

Rating: Mature 

a/n: What? A holiday fake dating story? So original, you say? No one has ever done it before? Especially not me. lol. Forget all of that, and let’s jump into this trope-a-palooza of a holiday story!

Big thank you to @resident-of-storybrooke for reading over this and convincing me that I still know how to write ❤️

ao3: | HERE |

-/-

“Did you eat all of my candy?”

Emma opens another cabinet, looking inside to the wine glasses and tumblers, before closing it. She’s been keeping her bag of candy in the cabinet where they keep their plates and bowls, hidden at the very top behind some reusable water bottles. Killian is a healthy eater, always stocking the fridge with fruits and vegetables and food she doesn’t think is actually real food, so she didn’t think she had to hide her junk food that well.

Hide it, yes. Hide it well, no.

Until now.

“What was that, love?”

Emma slams another cabinet closed and turns to look at Killian. He’s walking out of the bathroom, chest still damp, and only has a white towel wrapped around his waist. When he first moved into the apartment six months ago after Ruby abandoned Emma to go live with Dorothy (live with, get married to, same thing), Emma was taken aback by the lack of clothes wearing Killian partakes in. He’s an attractive man. She’s not blind. He goes to the gym as often as she does, but mostly, he spends a lot of time doing heavy lifting at his job as a contractor since he apparently likes to be hands-on, literally. His body is toned, and the son of the bitch knows it. He also knows he’s got the face to be able to get away with a lot of…well, a lot.

At first, it was all disconcerting, but now, he could walk around with his dick out and Emma wouldn’t care.

What she cares about is where her candy is. That’s the real priority. But she knows Killian will try to use his lack of clothes to distract her. Never worked in the past, not gonna work now, bud.

“My candy,” Emma repeats. “Where is it?”

He wipes behind his ear with the small towel in his hand. “I wouldn’t touch the stuff. You don’t like the good candy.”

“Well, my good candy has been moved, and we’re the only two people who live here.”

Emma places her hands on her hips, staring him down hoping he will somehow be intimidated by her stare and fess up to everything. He won’t be, but Emma can try. They both have their tactics.

Killian clicks his tongue. “What about the fellow you brought home last week?”

“Do you mean the plumber?”

“Was that who he was?”

“You know I don’t bring guys back here.” Emma moves from the counter and opens the fridge, taking out a handful of grapes from the fridge. She probably needs to eat some of them and not candy anyway. As she pops one into her mouth, that’s when it clicks. “Your girlfriend ate my candy, didn’t she?”

He scoffs and keeps drying his hair, but she sees the way he scratches his ear. Gotcha, Jones. “I don’t believe I have a girlfriend.”

“What? Tink break up with you because you wouldn’t let her eat dessert on your dates? Wait, I heard it. Don’t make it dirty.” Killian walks toward her, getting in her space, and she knows him well enough to know he wants her to flinch, to move, to stop her line of questioning. That’s exactly why she doesn’t want to. Emma pops another grape in her mouth. “Did you eat my candy? Was it your way of wallowing? It’s okay if you did. I’ll take another bag for payment.”

“For your information, Swan,” he whispers as he places his hand on her hip, “we are no longer seeing each other, but it was mutual. She did, however, eat your candy when she was last here. If you really want to know, we used it to – ”

“Stop,” Emma groans, pushing him away and running to the other side of the kitchen. “Nope. Don’t take that any further. Some things should be left private.”

His head tilts back as he laughs, the underside of his jaw black with stubble, and then he’s reaching into the cabinet above the fridge and tossing her the bag of sweets.

Oh.

“I hid it after Will and Rob found it while we were playing cards last night. Will nearly went through all your milk duds before I realized what was happening.” He raises his brow. “You have something you want to say to me?”

Emma knows what he’s aiming for, and she isn’t going to give it to him.

“Yeah,” Emma says, “you need a thicker towel. I don’t think you want people seeing you when you look like…that.” She nods her head down and then picks up a handful of Kit Kats. “I gotta go to work.”

“Off to die inside at your cubicle, love?”

“Oh, you know it.”

Emma grabs her purse and unlocks the door only to hear Killian speak. “It’s December. How do you still have Halloween candy leftover?”

Emma shrugs. “I bought one bag to pass out to kids, two bags for me.”

“Bloody brilliant.”

“I do what I can. See you tonight. I’ll try not to wake you up from your nap when I come in.”

“That would be the least you could do.”

Emma rolls her eyes, but then she’s officially walking out the door of her apartment and down toward the elevator, a Kit Kat bar hanging out of the side of her mouth.

The thing about Killian Jones is that he’s simple to her.

He likes his friends, his job, his rum, and his women. There’s not much else to him, and Emma is okay with that. While her last roommate was her best friend, this one doesn’t have to be. He can just be a guy who pays the bills so she can keep living in a nice place and who, on occasion, talks shit about other people with her while they binge watch TV.

That’s all she needs.

And all and all, Killian Jones is a…fine roommate. Yeah, fine is an accurate way to describe him at least eighty percent of the time.

Even if she does get annoyed when he brings his dates home. But that’s only because it’s always on the nights she plans on going to bed early, and the noise of other people being around keeps her from catching up on sleep.

Emma is not one to mess around on sleep.

But yeah, he’s fine. Annoying as hell over half the time, but he’s fine in the small dosages she sees him in. He works odd hours, isn’t always on the job, and she is stuck with regular hours in her office. There’s not a lot of glory in working HR for a small engineering company, but that’s what happens when you make dumbass decisions like Emma did. She’s lucky she has a stable job. She’ll try not to complain too much about it.

That’s what she tells herself every morning when she sits in her car and stares at the drab brick building.

Money. She has to make money.

And hey, she gets almost an entire week off for Christmas next week, and that’s fucking incredible, even if she does have to spend it in her hometown with her parents and their Hallmark-like attitude toward the holiday and the events it puts on. Her mom is a teacher at the elementary school and produces the Christmas play every year while her dad is a vet and outfits all his patients in little holiday bandanas and bows. He even has a tree in his office decorated with bone ornaments.

It’s…a lot. But it’s family, and as Emma stares at this building that’s sucking the life out of her, she can’t wait to have a change of pace and some home-cooked meals, even if there are as many downsides as upsides to going home. Her Kit Kat bars aren’t giving her the nutrients she knows she needs.

Being an adult is not all it’s cracked up to be sometimes, especially when going home for the holidays is seen as more of a burden than a gift with a fancy bow on top. It’s more like that turkey that dries up and falls to pieces in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.

Well, that and the squirrel crashing every decoration in the house.

Happy holidays.

-/-

“Nah, mate, I don’t have any plans.”

Emma quietly puts her keys down on the table next to her front door, laying her purse down with it, and she kicks her boots off until they topple over each other and lay in the middle of the hallway. She can hear Killian talking, and it gets even louder when she walks into the kitchen and turns on the coffee maker.

“No, no, well, you know, I rarely do anything, not since Liam.” There’s a pause as the coffee begins to percolate and Emma grabs another Kit Kat from her bag. “I went home with Milah once, but that was years ago…no, mate, it’s alright. I don’t mind staying here by myself…yeah, I think Emma is going home to her parents.”

And that’s when she realizes what Killian is talking about.

Christmas plans.

He doesn’t have any. Emma didn’t know that. She didn’t really bother to ask. She doesn’t bother to ask much of Killian. She picks up pieces here and there, as she’s sure he does to her, but they mind their own business.

He doesn’t have a family to go home to? She knows he’s originally from England, but still. There must be someone.

“I’ll talk to you later,” Killian says. “I promise if I need anything, I’ll let you know. Alright, bye Scarlet.”

The coffee finishes, and Emma picks the pot up and starts pouring, filling her large mug halfway before getting hazelnut creamer out of the fridge and making the coffee drinkable. Killian joins her in the kitchen and perches himself on one of their stools.

“Good day at work?” he asks.

“Eh, it was a day. You?”

He shrugs. “The same. I’m finishing up on this house tomorrow, hopefully, so tomorrow will be a good day.”

Emma nods and sips on her coffee as Killian taps his fingers on the counter, the rhythm the same as the song he usually hums when cooking. “So, when are you heading for Storybrooke?” he asks.

“Monday after work.” Killian nods and keeps tapping his fingers, and Emma, stupidly opens her mouth because despite what her exes have told her, she does apparently have a heart. “If you don’t have any plans and have off work, you’re welcome to come with me. My parents are always thrilled to welcome more people. Just be prepared, it’s like a Hallmark movie up there.”

His eyes widen, the blue lighting up, and his upper lip starts to quiver, laughter very obviously waiting to break through. Dammit, why the hell did she decide to be nice? This is going to give him all of the wrong ideas.

“Why, Swan,” he smirks, leaning forward and resting his chin in his propped-up hand, “are you inviting me home for the holidays with you? You’ve been harboring a crush this entire time, haven’t you? I can’t say I’m surprised. I see the way you look at me when I finish up in the bathroom. Don’t be ashamed of it. Most women find me attractive.”

Emma flicks Killian’s forehead, and really, he should be thrilled she didn’t dump her hot coffee on his lap like she wanted to.

“I was just trying to be nice. You didn’t have to be an asshole about it.” Emma rolls her eyes and turns on her heels to walk away. She is going to her room. She doesn’t have to put up with his shit. “Forget I even offered.”

“Wait, wait, Swan.” Emma’s shoulders tense, and she doesn’t turn around. “Are you serious about your offer?”

“I mean, it would have some conditions in that you are a slightly less obnoxious version of yourself, but yeah, if you don’t have anywhere else to go, you can come home with me.”

“I’d like that.” Emma twists around, trying to size him up, and for once, everything seems genuine. “I have a condition as well.”

Idiot. “What could your condition possibly be?”

He winks, and she already knows this is going to have her eyes rolling so far into the back of her head they get stuck there. “Don’t go falling in love with me.”

What a cheesy ass sarcastic line.

“In your dreams, Jones.”

What the hell has she gotten herself into? This is absolutely the last time she lets her conscience guilt her into doing something nice. Emma was already going to be miserable, but now she’s miserable with a buffer.

At least her mom will be happy getting to go into hostess mode.

-/-

In the days leading up to them leaving for Storybrooke, Emma convinces herself Killian is going to back out of the trip. He’ll realize this is awkward and not a good idea. They live together, sure, but they don’t actually know each other. They’re not close friends.

But Killian never backs out. Instead he asks her things like what the weather is like there, if her parents drink wine, if he needs to bring his own bedding. He asks a million questions a day, and they continue when they’re in her bug making the drive from Boston to Storybrooke. He wants to know what her parents do for a living, what their hobbies are, pretty much everything someone needs to know when they’re about to spend half a week in the house of strangers.

Strangers who don’t actually know they’re having someone stay at their house to awkwardly sit on the sidelines as Emma’s family celebrates the holidays and has their usual holiday arguments.

Yeah, Emma didn’t ever tell her parents Killian was coming. She knows her mom well enough to know the moment Emma mentioned bringing someone home, her mom would have stopped listening before Emma could explain that it was just her roommate. It would have been this whole big thing, and Emma knows she can handle explaining it better in person when she can snap her mom out of getting excited about nothing.

Plus, who doesn’t want a Christmas surprise?

(Emma doesn’t.)

After Killian stops being one of those obnoxious kids who never stops asking questions, they sit in relative silence for the car ride, music entertaining them, and little by little, cities fade away and more trees pop up, evergreen forests surrounding them. It’s always the sign for Emma that she’s leaving her life and going back to her old one.

That and the “Welcome to Storybrooke” sign.

Everything about the town is the same. The buildings are small and kind of dingy downtown, and when she passes Granny’s, she bets those onion rings are the same too. God, she hopes they are. This is probably the only thing that can get her through this week. She should have texted Ruby and made sure her grandmother hadn’t changed any of the recipes. If she had, Emma definitely would have stayed home.

People walk down the sidewalk all bundled up in their coats and scarves, saying hello and chatting with others they pass. It’s the opposite of Boston where Emma can go her entire day without having to say hello to someone, and a little shiver runs down her spine at the thought. She needs to get out of here as soon as possible and to the isolation of her parents’ farmhouse, even if that presents her a new set of problems.

Storybrooke, Maine is, decidedly, not Emma’s favorite place for a hell of a lot of different reasons.

Killian, though, seems to be taking it all in with the wonder and confusion of someone who has never lived in a small town like this and who is a bit shell-shocked.

Get used to it, buddy.

“Oh, hey, one more thing,” Emma sighs as she pulls up to her parents’ street a few minutes later. “My real last name is Nolan. I changed it after high school, so my parents’ names are Nolan. The whole ‘Swan’ thing is a sticky situation for them even though it’s my mom’s maiden name.”

Killian’s eyes narrow, and she has definitely shared too much about herself now. “Am I allowed to ask or…”

“No. just try not to call me ‘Swan’ around them.”

“Whatever your heart desires, love.”

Emma slows down as the road turns from paved to loose gravel leading up to their driveway. There are several cars parked alongside it, and either they now own extra cars or her parents have friends over. Great. Just what she needed. Other people around when she’s coming home and surprising her parents with a guest. At least Killian will likely be that buffer she keeps hoping he’ll be.

They get out of her car, and Emma pops the trunk for them to get their bags. Killian grabs the bigger ones despite her arguing with him about it, but she’s fine to just carry her purse and the bag with presents. Emma closes the trunk, slamming it shut, and squares her shoulders.

This is fine. This is all fine.

Until ten steps later, it’s not.

Her parents have this incredible wraparound porch with swings and rocking chairs, and sitting in one of them is Neal Cassidy.

What the hell?

She doesn’t…she can’t…why is he here? He has no right to be here, no business being here, and seeing his face makes her want to vomit.

It makes her want to cry, too, but Emma can’t give him the satisfaction.

Instead, she’d like to sink into the dirt and never emerge again.

“Shit,” Emma mumbles, stopping and turning toward Killian who is looking down at her with an arched brow. “Shit, shit, shit.”

“What is it?”

God, she can’t believe she has to tell this to him. It’s too many pieces of her past in too short a period of time. This isn’t something she ever wanted to talk about again and certainly not to Killian. She was really hoping she never had to see Neal’s face again.

Honestly, she never considered it to be a possibility.

If only.

“That guy sitting on my porch is an ex of mine. And I’m talking about a bad ex, not one of those who you can be friends with afterward.”

“What the bloody hell is he doing here then?” Killian looks over her head to look at Neal, but Emma grabs his hand and yanks on it until he looks at her. “What?”

“Don’t look at him,” she hisses. “I don’t know what he’s doing here, but I’m sure it has something to do with my parents. Just…I don’t know what to do.”

“Do we need to turn around?”

“No, no, that’s pathetic. Just…maybe he’s going to leave soon, and it’ll be a quick hello and then I never have to see his face again. Let’s get it over with.”

“If you’re sure, Sw – Emma.”

“I’m sure.”

She’s not sure at all. Mostly, she wants to take Killian’s suggestion and run far, far away.

Once more, Emma braces her shoulders, and she moves forward. If she stops and thinks too much, she’ll chicken out. It’s how she is. If she thinks about something for too long, it ruins every bit of courage she has. Now isn’t the moment for that when this week is one that makes her need courage.

Maybe, Emma realizes, she didn’t invite Killian here just to be nice. Maybe she needed that buffer to keep her old demons at bay, even if just barely, and that was her motivation all along.

That really makes her asshole of the year. Well, after Neal. She hasn’t seen him in years, but he still gets the asshole of the year award.

Neal sees her before she can get to the front steps. He rises from the rocking chair and moves toward her. He looks older now. He was always older than her, but she can actually see it now. There’s gray in his beard and more lines on his forehead. His features are similar, but she swears there’s an eeriness to his eyes and a lie to his smile. Maybe those were always there, but Emma imagines she was blind to it all when she loved him.

Amazing how opening her eyes to love blinded her to so much else.

“Emma? Is that you?”

No, jackass, it’s some other blonde woman walking into her parents house.

“Hi, Neal.” She forces a smile that she knows is awkward, but he was never good at reading her enough to know the difference between a real smile and a fake one. “What are you doing here?”

“You’ve just seen me for the first time in half a decade, and your first question is what I’m doing here? Nice to see you too, Ems.”

It’s illegal to murder, Emma, she reminds herself. You don’t want to end up in jail because of him.

“It’s my parents’ house. I’m supposed to be here. You’re not. So, again, what are you doing here?”

He shrugs and ignores her. “Who’s this?”

Emma turns to Killian who is staring ahead, his jaw clenched, and he speaks before she gets a chance to. “Killian Jones,” he begins, dropping a bag and reaching forward to shake Neal’s hand, “Emma’s boyfriend.”

Emma nearly chokes on her own air and possibly her own lungs and whatever else is down there, and she’s stuck. Her brain and her feet and especially her mouth are all stuck. What the hell is he doing?

“Emma’s boyfriend,” Neal repeats, his voice incredulous like the fact that she could have a boyfriend is ludicrous to him. “Really?”

“For awhile now,” Killian lies. Wow. Has he always been this good of a liar? “It’s nice to meet you, but I think Emma and I need to get inside and put our stuff away. It’s been a long drive.”

Neal nods, but Emma catches his eyes glance over at her. What was that? “I understand. I need to get my fiancée from inside, but then we’ll be on our way.”

Fiancée?

Neal has a fiancée? Who is in her parents’ house?

What kind of upside down hell has she walked into and how does she reverse time and get back to the place where things are normal?

“Nice seeing you,” Emma lies, but Neal is already walking inside, leaving the door slightly ajar behind him as if it’s his house to go into. She quickly turns to Killian and hopes her face conveys the “what the hell” look she’s going for. And in case it doesn’t, she hisses, “what the fuck was that?”

“Forgive me, love, but you obviously didn’t want to see that man, and I figured there wouldn’t be any harm in saying that. You weren’t planning on ever seeing him again, aye?”

“Not if I can help it.”

“So what’s the harm in him thinking you have a devilishly handsome new boyfriend?”

Emma rolls her eyes, ready to take the piss out of him, when her mother comes running out the front door.

“Emma, you brought a boyfriend home?”

Well, that’s the harm, Jones.

-/-

Emma tries explaining to her parents that Killian isn’t really her boyfriend, that he’s just her roommate who came home with her because he doesn’t have any family, but she never really gets the chance with Neal still hanging around. That would be mortifying, so she rolls with it, hoping that she can clear it all up sooner rather than later.

But Neal never seems to leave.

His fiancée, Tamara, apparently teaches with Emma’s mom, and from the looks of it, they’re great friends. She can’t imagine any other reason why her parents would let Neal Cassidy in their house, but then again, they have always been great at doing the exact opposite of what’s good for her. It’s torture, and as the night goes on, it seems like it’s never going to end.

When are they going to leave?

When can she stop listening to Killian falsify their life?

She’s got to say that he’s fantastic at taking truths and turning them into lies. According to him, they met when he became her roommate (true) and got to know each other as friends first (eh, a half-truth). Then, slowly, feelings started to develop in the little moments, and they decided to give their relationship a chance (unequivocally false).

He’s got this uncanny ability to make everything feel…not ridiculous. She doesn’t know the word she’s searching for, but she’s sure as hell that Killian could find it and incorporate it into a story to make everyone here think they’re in love.

Emma has no clue how they’re going to get out of this without her parents being heartbroken because Emma can see the hope and happiness in her mom’s eyes. She’s over the moon. Her dad, however, doesn’t seem to be.

Of course this is how it goes. Her mom is thrilled because she’s not a spinster, and her dad is upset because she’s not a spinster.

“So what do you do, Killian?” he asks. “You need a roommate apparently.”

“Dad,” Emma hisses, wanting to sink into the couch, especially because she knows she’s the one who needs the roommate and not Killian. “Don’t.”

“What? I’m not allowed to ask about the man who my daughter is dating?”

“You are, but you’re not allowed to interrogate him.”

Killian places his hand over Emma’s on her thigh, and God, this really is the worst night. Why do people have to go home to family on the holidays? At least she didn’t automatically flinch at the feeling of Killian’s hand on hers.

“I’m a contractor,” Killian tells her dad. “I used to work with my brother. It’s his business, but I’m the head on projects now. It’s hard and unpredictable sometimes when my job is to make it predictable, but it’s good work. There’s a lot of good new housing popping up in the neighborhoods outside of Boston. Beautiful new construction.”

“What happened to your brother?” her mom asks.

Killian’s hand tightens over hers while his other hand scratches behind his ear. “Liam passed last year. Car accident.”

Mary Margaret places her hands over her chest while Neal and Tamara look at each other, obviously ready to go. Emma, meanwhile, tries not to act shocked. She should know this. She should know that he had a brother who died. She’s heard him talk about Liam before, but she thought…she thought he was alive, just that he lived really, really far away or something like that.

“I’m so sorry, Killian,” Mary Margaret sighs.

“Thank you, Ms. Nolan.”

Silence falls in the room, and it feels like a lot of her time in high school when she got caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to be doing. At least now she can have alcohol or drive away. One or the other, though, obviously.

Or she can go back to that sinking into the ground thing. That seemed like a good idea.

“Oh, would you look at the time,” Tamara sighs with a clap of her hands. “Honey, we need to go.”

“Won’t you stay for dinner?” Mary Margaret asks.

What the hell, Mom?

“We really have to go,” Tamara insists. “It was nice seeing you guys, though.”

“Oh, it was wonderful seeing you, sweetie. Good luck in New York. You’re going to be great at your new job.” Mary Margaret hugs Tamara. “Nice seeing you as well, Neal. You’ll fit right in, but I know your dad will miss you.”

Emma is so busy trying to take in all of this brand new information that she doesn’t hear the rest of the conversation. Through blurred vision, she sees her mom hug Neal, and yeah, Emma wants to go home. She wants to go back to her apartment where she doesn’t have to put up with this kind of shit.

Where there’s no Neal and his fiancée and especially where her mom isn’t hugging her asshole of an ex and treating him like he’s a good person.

There’s a squeeze on her hand and suddenly, Killian’s fingers are wrapping around hers. That’s when everything snaps back, and she realizes Neal is telling her goodbye.

“Yeah, bye,” Emma mutters, putting on that fake smile again.

“Maybe we could go for lunch while I’m still in town,” he suggests.

Emma bites her tongue to keep from scoffing, but she can’t help the words that come out of her mouth. “Yeah, that’s not happening. Have fun in New York.”

Neal looks like a wounded puppy when Emma manages to look at him, but she doesn’t care. He shouldn’t have had the audacity to ask her in the first place, not after everything he’s done.

Happy holidays to them all.

“Emma,” Mary Margaret hisses as soon as the front door has shut and Neal and Tamara are gone, “that was so rude of you! You can go to lunch with Neal.”

“Oh my God, Mom,” Emma groans, letting go of Killian’s hand and standing up. “I am twenty-eight years old. I’m not going to go to lunch with the man who ruined my life because you don’t like being rude. Just…let’s eat dinner, and you guys can tell me what we have planned for this week. Killian is thrilled to go to the play. I told him all about it.”

“Emma, I still don’t think – ”

“Come on, Mary Margaret,” David sighs as he claps his hand on her shoulder. “Let’s get these two dinner. They had a long drive, and I’m sure they’re starving. You like ham, Jones?”

“Love it,” Killian says as he stands from the couch. “Can I help with anything?”

“You can get a wine bottle from the rack.”

They’re all going to need it. Or at least Emma is going to.

Dinner is, well, awkward, which Emma expected, but she expected the usual awkwardness of having dinner with her parents after going a year without seeing them. This is an entire other level. Killian tries to ease it. He’s put on his most charming smile, his accent coming through thicker with each story he tells, and while her Dad seems put out, her mom is every bit as charmed by him as Emma would expect.

That makes it all fine and good until Emma’s reminded that her parents think Killian is her boyfriend, and his place would go down in flames if she told the truth now.

As much as she would like to spite her mom, that is the last thing she needs.

“So, Killian, you can stay in Emma’s room,” her mom says as they finish up dinner. “I’d have you stay in the guest room, but it’s currently filled with props and costumes for the play. But you're both adults. Who are we to keep you apart at night?”

“The couch would be fine,” Killian insists, holding his hands up.

“Nonsense, you are a guest here. You need to be comfortable. Let’s get you all settled and ready for bed.”

It’s almost like she’s in a trance as her mom guides them up the stairs to Emma’s old room. She vaguely hears her tell stories of different pictures hung on the wall by the staircase, but she doesn’t really notice. Instead, she hangs back with her dad who does not look thrilled at the whole situation.

For some reason that offends Emma. As far as her dad knows, she’s brought a man home for Christmas. A man who she loves enough to bring home, which is not all sunshine and roses for her. Once again, she’s jealous of the people who go home for the holidays and know it’s going to be a happy time.

“You know, you don’t have to act like I’m sixteen,” she tells her dad. “I live with this man. I think it’s okay for us to share a bedroom here for the week.”

“What makes you think I’m not happy about this. If you’re happy, I’m happy.”

Emma stops at the landing and turns to her Dad, crossing her arms over her chest and staring him down. Or up. She forgot how much taller her dad is than her.

“Try a little harder to make that believable.”

David laughs and leans forward to kiss her forehead. “Welcome home, kid. I’m glad you and Killian are here.”

-/-

-/-

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[the-acid-pear]

I just can't get enough it seems, time to start the next Baki the Grappler book!

It seems that this one will take on the saga i saw on the anime (at least by the end) so that's exciting

Chapter 1

First off quality is SHIT lmao

Yesss i remember this. I still think that shit about everyone trembling is a lil... Mmmm bullshit.

Baki be like <:] but in a smug way

Look at Tokugawa my man

OH RIGHT HE LEFT THE TOURNAMENT WITH A CAST

This feels so random

Oh right the synchronicity shit

Baki is so -_- in this manga

Look at the old timer go

YEAH FR TOKUGAWA JUST BROUGHT EXPLOSIVES TO A SCHOOL FULL OF CHILDREN TO MAKE A SHITTY ANALOGY SHSHWKWGGE FREAK OLD MAN

Chapter 2

Ahegao

Epic grandpa

HO NICE

Mf really swam thru the Pacific ocean

Chapter 3

Huh i thought he was Scottish

This random guy was pretty interesting looking, the one executing Doyle

Fucked up shit how they still do this stuff

King, i can somehow still remember his voice in particular fsr

Also since no one reads this i will say it: Doyle does NOT look white ahagdbafhsdbc

I like that he didn't bother killing the doctor

Is that Strydum? 🥺👉👈

Chapter 4

Shagddjd i was going to say that, this dude could have easily taken a different path from violence

GAARN? MY MAN? MY BELOVED GARLAND? IS HE ALIVE STILL?!

FFS NOT FOR LONG HHH LOOK HOW THEY MASSACRED MY BOY...

I mean it's fair, Sirkosky uses weapons, but man, Garland... :'/

This all hits so different once you know the characters :]]]

Chapter 5

That pic is still so brutal

What an absolute troll shsshwgxgd

Also fun fact when i watched the anime i didn't pay much attention at first so I assumed the Russian was Spec (i didn't even know Sirkosky's name)

I love how that was unnecessary shagdhsr

ADAGDFAGAFAD this guy was also great

Spec was fucking insane man aggsggahsfg

I love he's full of tattoos

The absolutely king

OH RIGHT Spec is sus *laugh track*

Chapter 6

Oh hell yeah, grandpa's ex

Baki tf you doing there in the cover you madlad

...bottom storage.

THEY ARE SO MEAN LEAVE HIS SHORT ASS ALONE SHSGJSGS

He's my size btw

Was there a motive for him to be naked or was he just a freak btw?

I love the shape of his eyes ngl

I love how scared the guards are while he just calmly rambles

I don't wanna call yanagi my grandpa because i think yanagi can get it and it would be like calling him daddy but the Gilf™ is Dorian man life is so hard when you are me

I love Yanagi's face lol he's handsome

Chapter 7

Poor Baki lmao he just got better from the maximum tournament and now this

Lmao Baki has a point

Unnecessary, Doyle

Chapter 8

I love how they were recruiting dangerous mfs to beat up this random guy bc his vibes are fucked up

This guy looked a lot like jack

You gotta be brave to shove a knife that sharp into your pants

I love how Baki literally did nothing to em

Baki's face just looks wrong this isn't my beloved child

Imagine you are about to fight this mf and he just shoves his hand inside his pants

Chapter 9

This dude really looks like, fully japanese jack hanma

JWGWKEGWKSGE I LOVE HIM

I love how Spec just showed up dressed up as a fucking monk or something

Chapter 10

You guys know, Dorian reminds me of my now dead great grandfather, with the moustache look even more.

Not impressed, 15 yo Hanayama did the same when throwing a tantrum

He's so insane i luv him

Okay but look at the cut of that outfit look at how well it hugs his chest and waist but flows bellow... Spec my dude you could have been a mad good model 😐 he's even giving me gender envy! 🥺

I love how Baki used both his hands for the handshake

Chapter 11

Ho, speak of the devil, i was just talking of this fucker with Blood

Mf got so old

I like how there was no motive for him to be naked he literally is just Like That

Also it's from here that he got that wasp waist lmao

Mf just flexing at this point lmao

GRANDPA!! <3

Yanagi got cake

That's so unnecessary rude, obsessed. Also, as if you weren't old Yanagi. I see why they broke up now ;/

Chapter 12

11 and 12 are the same fsr

Chapter 13

I honestly wonder where these prisoners got their clothes, like, aside from Doyle that one time everyone else is never shown shopping or even owning money

Also i love the fact that on a daily basis i dress the same as Spec, that definitely says something bout me jagsjsgwhwfwg 😭

To be honest, considering the size of Spec's body, they should definitely feed him more

He didn't wash his hands 😢

Dick and balls too strong ajgshsgsg

I love how fucking, polite he is.

Oh i see, i thought he might have stolen a wallet or something but nah

Btw i genuinely don't remember shit JAGSKSGWJGS even if it watched the anime i forgot most of this

Chapter 14

GOD the way the anime butchered Katsumi, he's so handsome in the manga in comparison 😐

Also i like how they aren't explaining this like, Katsumi was the one who lost, did he wait until Retsu was okay to fight again in HIS ("") dojo?!

RETSU STOP DOING THESE SORT OF TRICKS THAT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE AJDGSJSG

HE'S JUST BUILT DIFFERENT

Okay he actually explained, oddly nice of Retsu to accept tho

Hoho this scene hits different now that i know and like Katsumi

Also I'm not even gonna question where Doppo is, dude is never just around skdgksgd

Chapter 15

I love this genre of cover

WHITE BOY SJDGSJGSHS-

I love that retsu is just watching, he's still an asshole QJGSJSGWH

If i didn't know Katsumi I would say he died

I did actually think he had died when watching the anime

Retsu still has his thicc ass i see

Chapter 16

See all this makes sense now that i know retsu and the shit he has seen and been thru!

Angry lad, lucky his hair didn't burn

I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE HE EXTINGUISHED THE FIRE WITH HIS SCREAM

Chapter 17

Ahegao in the cover

I'm looking at the pages and I'm obsessed with Doppo being described as a "bold, badass karate master", it's so accurate <3

Also Igari being called eccentric, and the mention he defeated Mount Toba!! <3

Baki is slowly looking more like Baki

"my mother is dying"

Tasks keep failing successfully

Chapter 18

mAh boy...

That happens and it's the worst

Musashi you good boy 🥺

Chapter 19

Igari <33

That's insane

Chapter 20

I love that Igari looks legitimately worried and sad, not sweating tho

I love how he didn't have any serious damage until the punches like, okay.

Poor Igari tho

DID HE CHEW EM OFF OR SOMETHING? SHSHWGEGCH

Was anybody going to tell me is Sikorsky and not Sirkosky?

Also i love how legitimately scared Tokugawa is, probably more than when Yujiro picked him up

Chapter 21

The heights are so off in this saga

Oh my fucking god i didn't know Spec was 221

Either heights are all over the place or Yanagi is not 160

Either way HOW CAN YOU BE THAT SMALL? 🤣

GAFSFWEAD Tokugawa like "i own this place 😐"

Doyle is still the most decent one of the bunch

URSURSUTSUSTSRU

LOOK AT YANAGI DORIAN AND SIKORSKY ALREADY GETTING THEIR HANDS READY SBDGSHW

I googled how big Andreas from the tournament was and like, 2.40 😦

LET'S GOOOOO EVEN WITH A BEARD OMFG 😳😳😳

I see Hanayama descended into alcoholism after losing in the tournament. Also tf is with that bag? Was he hiking or something?

Jsgsjsgd Shibukawa is so excited too

I think this is chronically the first time Doppo appears with fully casual clothes, usually he either was in a suit or in his karate uniform

I'm straight up simping to the public now sgsjsgwhw

Chapter 22

LOOK AT THESE DUDES..... 💞

FUCK I WAS GONNA SAY THERE WERE MORE BAD THAN GOOD GUYS THEN LOOKED DOWN AND REALIZED THAT NO, SHIBUKAWA WAS JUST NEARLY OUT OF FRAME 😭

They all look so upset about that information

SIKORSKY NAME GOT SPELLED AS SILCOSKI...

Looking at them drives me insane i developed such a bond with all these fighters

I haven't seen Doppo this excited since last time his wife showed up

BAKI SWEARING?! 😰

How did Tokugawa grab Baki's shoulder?

ALSO WHY TF IS BAKI SO SURPRISED AS IF HE DIDNT GO AROUND BEATING UP PEOPLE WHEN HE WAS 13...

Don't worry Baki y'all will, Tokyo is not that big it seems

Shibukawa swearing 😨

"Imagine being mid but and Spec pulls up on you" "imagine having sex and she takes the mask and it's fucking Spec"

To be fair i would fuck a 2.21 muscular lady without going "hmmm this doesn't seem like a good idea..." in any moment

Chapter 23

I love how Dorian is just looking up

ACTUALLY ALL THEIR STANCES, Yanagi making dead eye contact with Gouki, Sikorsky with a firm pose just as Hanayama, Doyle with hiss chest up but eyes down giving a sense of pride, and, well, then there's Spec being Spec.

I like seeing Sikorsky having fun

I love Spec he played so smart SGSGSGS

😳 love wins!

Oh i had already forgotten about the dojo

Old man Dorian just has that effect on people

Threesome i see /j

He really was just fucking hiking i would love if they ever explained that ough 🥺

Did his facial hair just disappear?? STSGSFSD

BWHEKEGWJG THEY REALLY JUST FORGOT TO ADD IT FOR ONE PANEL IM OBSESSED

Such a good kick tho

The relationship these men can have is so oddly nice like not Doppo and Retsu specifically but all of the fighters in general. Like many of them barely know each other, but they all know their fighting styles and respect each other, plus have no reason to be in bad terms with one another and specially not now that they are all fighting for the same cause. It's just so nice to see em idk JAGSHS

Hey Igari.

Chapter 24

Thank God Doppo went <3 again it had been so long

Babe are you okay? You hadn't put a lil heart in your speech bubble for a while...

King really punched the fire

I will chose to believe that's true bc it's impressive 😍

You know it's funny like, Katsumi is mad good but he doesn't has as much experience as his dad and that leaves him in disvantage

Hehe i remember that guy

The manga is so much better than the anime ffs

I love that he didn't even realize

Chapter 25

Manga i don't think that's science

Also Baki just chilling with some doves lmao

I'm looking thru old messages see how my og reaction to this was

Huh i found nothing, that's odd. Well my reaction would have probably been like NOOOOO anyway so, y'all can imagine it

You left my dilf handless you fucking asshole good thing he has a wife

Imagine this dude cuts your hand and then just flexes his knowledge about science or whatever

HSSGGSFS THEY FIXED THE NO BEARD ERROR

Illiterate king <3

A guy did this to me once btw!!! Obviously in way smaller scale but he just touched something and the bleeding soon stopped!!!!

Honestly that's the most huge dick energy thing Doppo has ever done

Pfff I'm starting to remember why i liked Doppo so much 🥴

Bitches confused over him running away, tf was he supposed to do? He played it smart since there are no rules

Though yeah an eye and NOW a hand, insane

Chapter 26

Sjshhdhsn tanuki?

Oh, fox, he was calling him slick

Manga is pretty faster than the anime

Chapter 27

Where's your honor, Igari...

He is right sadly enough 😔

Oh i keep forgetting Igari's nature, he was probably trying to pull his silly little tricks again

This is just brutal honestly

Hehe this time i didn't get scared ☺️

I like that at least I'm not the only one who needs their mind off the gutter

Chapter 28

Love seeing em datin <3

He's so aggressive accidentally i love these dorks sm 😍🥺💞

SPEC FFS SJGDHWGW

Chapter 29

SPEC FOR FUCKS SAKE SJSVSJWGSH

Hanayama is such a real bro man

I LOVE THAT HE WAS JUST STALKING BAKI TOO BTW SJDGJDGDHSBDGDGS

To think i will still love hanayama but for entirely different reasons 😌

Chapter 30

Kaoru looks different but idk how

What the fuck is Spec even saying?

The fact that that makes no sense, i still love it a lot tho.

ALSO I ADORE HOW QUIET HANAYAMA IS WHEN FIGHTING

Okay Spec really has a point it really is beautiful

GOD I'M STARTING TO UNDERSTAND THESE CHARACTERS TOO MUCH I NEED HELP AJDGSJSGSHS 😭

But it's beautiful in the sense like, look how built he is! Look at all those scars!!! It IS beautiful it's a masterpiece!!!!!!!

"i choose to believe this is how hanayama always undresses" KSHSKDGSJ THE AMOUNT OF SUITS THIS MAN DESTROYS.. OBSESSED

Though yeah Hanayama in general is also beautiful isn't he?

Chapter 31

I would sob man look at him. Look at Shiba.

NO ONE RISKS HIS LIFE MORE THAN SHIBA YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE I STILL HOLD A LOT OF RESPECT FOR HIM!

A BENCH...

I really don't get why he's letting himself get hit, is he just flexing?

I cannot way to see him do his Technique ™

Chapter 32

Manga is so much superior to the anime, like, i haven't complained about Spec even once bc he isn't annoying anyone, in the anime he was so infuriating!!

I love when they just steal their standing poses sjsgjssgsh

That distortion effect so good

Chapter 33

I still think it's weird they used humans and not machines, though it was effective

I love how Spec managed to punch that statue without calling the attention of much people that's impressive

And i love that he keeps saying man he sounds like me with bro

Hanayama my beloved

Chapter 34

Yeah I'm not reading all that 😐

Oh this explains the holes in his clothes

[gayregis]

Question. Part 1. Hi. I like your blog and your analytical analysis of books, which is always very accurate and insightful, so I couldn't find anyone better to ask a question to. I am haunted by the scene where Regis announced to the male part of Hansa that Milva is pregnant. Then there is a dialogue, at the end of which Regis asks Geralt to do something... I felt connected to Jaskier as a character for the first time because I also don't understand what it is about. ->

P2. I asked my friends who had read the books, and their opinions were divided. Some believe that Regis asks Geralt to dissuade Milva from having an abortion, while others, on the contrary, believe that Geralt should persuade her to do it. Or maybe that's not the point at all? Further, my reflections, which may not be relevant to the question... Maybe I'm the only one who noticed a lot of "c*nservative" ideas in books.

P3. We cannot ignore the fact that they were written quite a long time ago and many ideological and cultural aspects of Poland (see the law banning abortion in 2020) that could influence them. It was the 'poll' at the beginning of this scene that made me think of this. Why do men decide whether to give Milva medicament or not? Secondly, Geralt insistently refuses to call it "medicament" but prefers the word "agent."

P4. Secondly, Geralt insistently refuses to call it "medicament" but prefers the word "agent." He also demands that Jaskier shut up when he supports Cahir that "only a woman decides." Pro-life vibes, or is it just me? We also can't ignore the fact that Geralt is very concerned about his infertility.

P5. In general, continuing the theme: very many sorceresses also lament the lack of ability to have children, and all of them, even if they had relationships with women, were always looking for the ONE AND ONLY man. Moreover, the same-sex relationships in the book are only female/female shown, but never male/male (a quick and disdainful mention in "Season of Storms"). But even f / f relationships are presented as some not-serious-play; remember how Ciri called it all "fun," talking with Mistle.

P6. Here again, I see a toxic-masculine culture that sexualizes lesbians and completely denies gays. (This also reminds me of Poland's situation, where the majority of the population is very religious and homophobic.) I was too disappointed by the stereotypical representation of women: hatred because of the same outfits/jewelry, thin waists and small portions (remember how Yen and Fringilla eat), eternal gossip, and so on. I mean, women aren't like that, man.

P7. The toxicity of the presented heterosexual relationships has been said a thousand times before me. In general, I am always a little upset when I see that someone calls Sapkowski such a tolerant writer. According to my observations, toxic masculinity, "conservative" ideas, and strengthening stereotypes about LGBT people, women, etc., often slip into his books. I may be wrong, so I apologize in advance. I would like to hear your opinion. Thanks.

Finally. The scene I was talking about, maybe you need it. ‘What’s this all about then? Unanimity? Total agreement? Is that what you’re expecting?’‘You know very well what it’s about. But since you ask, I shall tell you. Yes, Geralt, that’s precisely what it’s about. And no, it’s no me that's expecting it.’ ‘Could you be clearer?’ ‘No, Dandelion,’ the vampire snapped. ‘I can’t be any clearer. Particularly since there is no need. Right, Geralt?’ ‘Right,’ the Witcher said...

p. s. From the same Anon with a 7-part question. English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes. I tried to ask questions as respectfully as possible, but I often confuse English pronouns/times/etc. Please note that it was completely unintentional if I made an offensive mistake, and I deeply apologize. I will correct myself if you point this out to me in your answer. Thanks again.

omg i love this and i’m gonna divide it into different segments to be easier to read. also don’t worry your english is great thank you!!

1) “I asked my friends who had read the books, and their opinions were divided. Some believe that Regis asks Geralt to dissuade Milva from having an abortion, while others, on the contrary, believe that Geralt should persuade her to do it.”

yes, this is a confusing scene. when i first read it i was TOTALLY relating to dandelion, completely confused on what the message was and what the in-universe conversation was about. i had just felt proud of myself for understanding everything regis said in the previous scenes, and now here he was saying something and i didn’t know how the fuck to decipher it. 

but after re-reading and also reading others’ analysis on r/wiedzmin, i found what i think to be the answer. in my opinion, the scene is not about actually either dissuading or persuading milva to have an abortion. rather, it’s about supporting her emotionally so that she can make the right choice for herself. 

regis, as a doctor, wants his patient to make choices with a level head and for her own self, not under pressure to make the strategic choice that would benefit the company the most. this is my interpretation but since regis mentions milva has been a little feisty in consultation (she wouldn’t give him the date of her last period... lol), i feel like he could sense that she was really stressed out about this and although she initially made the choice to have an abortion, she may not have been thinking for her own self, rather letting the priorities of the company come first before her own wants.

in this moment, geralt realizes exactly why she has come on the journey, he mentions how she was willing to sacrifice her own child for his, etc. so, geralt needs to talk to her in that moment to tell her that he doesn’t expect her to do anything just so she can be more of an “asset” to the company, to tell her that she is his friend first and comrade-in-arms second, because milva is very loyal and also headstrong and would have done anything for geralt and the company. milva in general also wants to be “useful” because she has internalized misogyny from how she was raised, she doesn’t want to be “useless” like she was taught women are ‘supposed’ to be, as is shown in their conversation.

so geralt talks to her and she makes the choice not to have an abortion after all, because after talking to geralt, she doesn’t feel like she has to prioritize geralt’s needs and the company’s needs over what she wants. 

2) “Maybe I'm the only one who noticed a lot of "c*nservative" ideas in books. We cannot ignore the fact that they were written quite a long time ago and many ideological and cultural aspects of Poland (see the law banning abortion in 2020) that could influence them. 

It was the 'poll' at the beginning of this scene that made me think of this. Why do men decide whether to give Milva medicament or not? 

Secondly, Geralt insistently refuses to call it "medicament" but prefers the word "agent."”

He also demands that Jaskier shut up when he supports Cahir that "only a woman decides." Pro-life vibes, or is it just me? 

We also can't ignore the fact that Geralt is very concerned about his infertility.

in my opinion i think the author-intention was to set up a conversation in which a rhetorical question is asked, which will 100% be answered with a resounding positive, a “yes” all around. regis asks the company, because he’s a character so he can be poised as the author wants to propose a question like, “what are your thoughts on abortion,” which allows the rest of the characters to respond “it’s a woman’s right to choose for herself!” in this way, i think that it is very pro-choice... i will agree later on about what you say in other parts of your message, about the conservatism and also centrism in the books, but when it comes to abortion sapkowski imo in the witcher series espoused some pretty pro-choice views. this scene, compounded with the fact that yennefer, the leading female character, performs abortions as part of her job, and also the scene in season of storms with coral and the king of kerack in which he makes a fool of himself in front of her because she assists women with abortions... it’s a topic that’s come up a few times, and all of the times it has been a pro-choice perspective. (again, this is not to say everything in the witcher series is progressive, haha)

in-universe, i suppose you could think of it as that regis was just being coy and asking a rhetorical question also in-universe... such that he was going to give milva the decoction no matter what the men of the company chose, but he just wanted to “ask their opinions” (i.e., tell them what is happening with milva, because it’s a serious subject that needs to be addressed by the company) before, so he could introduce the subject to them (sparing milva of the difficulty of telling them all) and gain their assistance in supporting milva during this time. (random sidenote, but i like how regis acts as a middleground between milva and the rest of the company in this. there are three genders: woman, man, and medical professional. lol). 

so yes, i don’t think that the men of the company actually “get to decide” if milva would have an abortion or not - their opinion’s don’t matter. out-of-universem sapkowski probably just wanted to set up a conversation between his characters where they could espouse explicitly pro-choice opinions (dandelion and cahir practically start arguing over if the northern kingdoms or nilfgaardian empire are more pro-choice). in-universe, this was probably more of a way to bring the subject up rather than actually asking for opinions. 

i think it may look like there are some pro-life opinions shown by geralt in this conversation at first glance, but there might be something deeper. when he tells dandelion to be quiet when he begins to hound him that “only a woman decides,” i think it’s not because he disagrees with that - rather, that he agrees, but that that isn’t the issue here that he needs to deal with. it IS milva’s decision, everyone is in agreement about that - and that’s precisely the problem, because milva is in a vulnerable emotional state and also a precarious physical environment, and these factors could influence her to go through with the abortion, while in “regular circumstance,” if everything were fine and everyone was safe and they weren’t on a quest to save ciri, she might go through with the pregnancy. so, geralt gets annoyed that dandelion tells him this, because he agrees, he already knows! it’s useless to tell him that, because he already agrees with him, what he really needs to do now is move forward with having an emotional talk with milva, which is difficult for him.

i think the “medicament” / “agent” thing is still a little confusing to me, because i don’t know which one has a negative connotation. to me, it’s a medicament, or a medicine, whic is something that cures an ailment, that has a negative connotation, because it kind of refers to the state of being pregnant as a sickness or illness that needs to be cured? an agent is more like a substance that causes a reaction, i think of that of enzymes that speed up chemical reactions in cells, it causes a certain result to happen - which seems more appropriate in my opinion. but yeah i’m not sure which is the “worse word” to use, or if either are “bad words” to use when it comes to this

3) In general, continuing the theme:

Very many sorceresses also lament the lack of ability to have children, and all of them, even if they had relationships with women, were always looking for the ONE AND ONLY man. 

I was too disappointed by the stereotypical representation of women: hatred because of the same outfits/jewelry, thin waists and small portions (remember how Yen and Fringilla eat), eternal gossip, and so on. I mean, women aren't like that, man. 

The toxicity of the presented heterosexual relationships has been said a thousand times before me. 

Moreover, the same-sex relationships in the book are only female/female shown, but never male/male (a quick and disdainful mention in "Season of Storms"). But even f / f relationships are presented as some not-serious-play; remember how Ciri called it all "fun," talking with Mistle. I see a toxic-masculine culture that sexualizes lesbians and completely denies gays. (This also reminds me of Poland's situation, where the majority of the population is very religious and homophobic.)

In general, I am always a little upset when I see that someone calls Sapkowski such a tolerant writer. According to my observations, toxic masculinity, "conservative" ideas, and strengthening stereotypes about LGBT people, women, etc., often slip into his books. I may be wrong, so I apologize in advance. I would like to hear your opinion. Thanks. 

very much agree with all of this. in some circumstances, i think the author-intention was to break stereotypes and tropes - such as fringilla and yennefer speaking about oysters in relation to their ‘diets’ ... but then, they are actually talking about oysters in the context of having to teleport from the castle, they are actually speaking about high-intrigue political alliances, not something as silly as diets... but the effect, to me, is lost, because they led into it acting vapid and speaking about diets anyways, and if they used sarcasm in their voices, it wasn’t strong enough coming through the text in my opinion.

similarly, i think he tried to do some of this trope-breaking with the sorceresses overall, how they are all vapid and obsessed with appearance, but actually are the political masterminds behind everything. although he achieved the latter, he did not manage to have the latter negate the former... the intelligent political talks did nothing to “cancel out” the previously-demonstrated vapidness and obsession with femininity, and the way he describes women overall is something to roll the eyes (and the stomach) at. (“triss’ waist measured ‘22′,” oh give me a break lmfao...)

i also agree that although there are technically gay and lesbian characters in the books, none of them are “good representation” - the only ones i can think of are philippa, mistle, and degerlund (season of storms, which you are right in describing as “disdainful”) - all of these characters are violent, none of them ever are shown having a healthy relationship, and their “love” either ‘corrupts others’ (i use that term semi-lightly) or is part of some political manuever. ciri’s time with mistle is that of a ‘youthful violence,’ it is part of her time with the rats, her time reaching into her worst most hateful depths as a person, and it’s presented as something to “heal from.” and we haven’t even mentioned how mistle assaults her in the beginning of it all. this is largely a post for another time, but it’s not a good situation by any means.

i also get super annoyed for this reason when i see people applauding sapkowski for being a “progressive writer.” in my mind, he is not progressive at all, although he has his character espouse some pro-choice views here and there, that is not nearly enough to make up for the fantasy racism/antisemitism, use of antisemitic caricatures to do trope-reversal on, misogyny to do trope-reversal on, and blatantly just Not Good gay and lesbian characters. 

in my mind, it’s inappropriate to label him as “progressive,” because he was not writing with diversity and representation in mind. i think a lot of people get confused, because they assume, “oh he included women, so he must have been wanting more representation for women!” ... when he was pretty much just writing for writing’s sake... of his own worldview and biases, nothing special when it comes to representation. and i agree that a lot of conservative ideas slip their way into the books, from my perspective he tries to make some centrist milquetoast statements at times (”don’t be neutral in the face of evil” for example) but wraps it up in literally a fantasy pogrom - which is not something imo for a goyische author to put into their stories. his inspirations at times are clear, and he uses them in manners which can come off as blunt and disrespectful.

[floatingpetals]

My Faire Lady || Ch. 1

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader x Bucky Barnes (Renaissance Faire Au!)

Warnings: Nothin’

Word Count: 3300+

Summary: Going to a Renaissance Faire wasn’t what she had planned to do over the weekend, but a drunken promise between friends can’t be broken. Full of magic and festivities, she never thought she would enjoy the fair as much as she did. Nor did she ever dream she’d catch the eye of not one, but two gorgeous Knights of the Queen. Bestowed with their tokens of affection, she found herself swept into their arms for a weekend she’d never forget. She was under no illusion, there was no chance this could ever be more than a fantasy at the fair. They would move on, and so would she. It didn’t mean she wasn’t going to enjoy this while she could. (18+ Only Story) 

A/N: The first part to I don’t know how many parts!!! I have this whole story planned, fortunately, but as you can tell from the very first chapters word count, it’s gonna be another long one lol. I’m super excited about this story! I hope you all enjoy, please please please reblog and comment! Thank you and enjoy!! 

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 *Coming Soon* | Series Masterlist

“Oh come on!”

Y/N rolled her eyes at the whine from her couch and ignored her friend. She leaned closer to her computer and tried to focus on the editing at hand. She needed to get these pictures finished so she could send them to the publisher for print. She didn’t have time for Coby’s whining.

“Pleaassseeeee?” Coby threw her head back against the pillows and let out her loudest and most obnoxious whine ever.

Y/N scoffed and shook her head.

“I told you no!”

“But you have to come!’ Coby whined again. She sat up and twisted around on the couch, hanging over the edge. “You promised!”

“I didn’t promise you anything!” Y/N argued, straightening her back to turn and glare at Coby. She wasn’t dumb enough to ever promise anything to her friend. No matter how much she might love her best friend of ten years, Coby fought dirty to get her way. Y/N learned from her mistakes and swore to never do it again.

However, when she turned to glare over her shoulder, she stopped short at the wicked grin on Coby’s face. Her blood drained from her cheeks, fear coursing through her veins. Oh no.

“Oh but you did, dear lady friend,” Coby replied with a diabolical sneer. She pulled out her phone and unlocked it, tapping away a few times before the sound of Y/N and her whispering filled the room. Y/N’s breath caught in her throat. Oh no. How did she forget about that night?

“Oh god,” The recording of Y/N groaned. There was a slight slur to her words from the drinks she’d gone through already. “It’s Tim. Please dear god don’t come over, don’t come over, don’t come over-Oh no he’s coming over.”

Coby laughed, then the sound of shuffling and Y/N’s voice groaned again.

“Coby, please. Do something!”

“What do you want me to do?” Coby stifled a laugh.

“I don’t know! Get rid of him!”

“And what do I get out of it?” Coby inquired. At the time, Y/N didn’t catch the underlying treachery in Coby’s voice, but now she heard it loud and clear. She was really hating past drunk her right now.

“I don’t- Jesus. I don’t care! Anything you ask-just please get rid of him!”

“Anything? You promise?” Coby drawled. Y/N on the recording grumbled in response.

“Yeah, yeah, I promise. Just get rid of him! I’m not spending another night listening to him gloat about his big his dick is again.”

“He doesn’t do that.”

“Bragging about your daddies company you did shit to earn when the man retired is the same god damn thing. Coby!” Y/N hissed the panic mounting. Coby laughed and she could hear her friend begin to stand.

“Alright, I’ll get rid of him. But you better be ready to keep that promise.”

“You’re a lifesaver, Coby!”

The audio shutoff and silence rang through the room. Coby smirked triumphantly and tucked her phone away in her pocket with an extra flourish. Y/N’s mouth fell open, mentally running through the number of ways she could get out this. Yet at every corner she took, she hit dead ends. Now she was backed against the wall and there was no knight in shining armor to come save her. Coby clapped her hands together, that wicked smile back as she pinned Y/N with a stare.

“You’re coming with me this weekend. And that’s final.”

Y/N gulped. She was never drinking again. True, she was not a fan Tim but she wasn’t that desperate to sign her life away to the devil’s incarnate. This was going to be another plane jump trip, wasn’t it? Coby saw the way Y/N blanched at the prospect she was going to be dragged someplace to do something dangerous once again and snickered.

“You can stop freaking out.” Coby snorted. “I don’t have plans to go shark diving until the summer. I got plenty of time to get you to come then.”

“The fuck you will!” Y/N’s eyes bulged in their sockets. Coby threw her head back and cackled at the horror in Y/N’s eyes.

“Oh stop, you know you’d have fun. But seriously. This isn’t like that.” Coby waved her hand. “I want you to come with me to the Renesaasnce festival this weekend.”

“Uh-huh….” Y/N squinted, her heart still racing at the threat of swimming with the sharks. This, however, wasn’t as scary as that venture but still not any less comforting. There had to be a catch. “That’s too easy for you.”

“Well, of course, it is,” Coby smirked. “I don’t always want to get my heart pumping every chance I get. I do enjoy the simple things.”

“You’re not simple.” Y/N interjected flatly. “You’re the furthest thing from a simple person.”

“Shush.” Coby waved her off. “Anyways. Like I was saying, I want you to come with me this weekend to the Renaissance Faire. Josie’s mom got sick and she needs to help take care of her, so I have one free ticket for the weekend with a meal plan and a free beer in the beer garden each night. I know you’ve been working nonstop with the magazine and even if it’s just a weekend, you need a break.”

Y/N blinked, actually amazed. For once Coby wasn’t using this as a means to see how far she can push Y/N out of her comfort zone, but instead wanted to help? What the heck happened to Coby and where did they take her friend?

“Don’t look at me like that.” Coby bristled at the alarmed expression on Y/N’s face. “You’re coming. That’s that.”

“Really?” Y/N raised a brow. “You aren’t going to make stand up against a wall and let people throw knives around me? Or shoot arrows at an apple on my head?”

“I never said that wasn’t a possibility. Is it so wrong to want to spend the weekend with my best friends?” Coby shot back. Y/N was taken aback at the hurt in Coby’s tone, but also could smell the catch quickly creeping up on her.

“You keep saying the weekend.” Y/N uttered slowly. “What do you mean by ‘weekend’ Coby?”

“Oh right, that. The tickets include access to the campground.” Coby smiled innocently. “And I already have our tents for us.”

“Wait. What?” Y/N asked in disbelief. “Coby I’m not sleeping in a tent for a weekend at the fair!”

“Oh, it’ll be fine. They have showers and bathrooms, so running waters no problem. And besides, the closest hotel is almost an hour away and I do not want to waste time sitting in traffic trying to get in place.”

“I’m not-.”

“Or if you want,” Coby examined her fingernails, picking at the cuticles. “You can say no and I use the promise for the sharks.”

Y/N’s mouth snapped shut at that. Coby knew she had her when she looked back up, that stupid smirk on her face.

“Best get packin’ sweetheart. Cause you and I both know this is the lesser of two evils.”

Y/N let out a hot breath of air, her shoulders sagging in defeat. Coby was once again playing dirty. She didn’t have to do the pros and cons list. Sucking it up and going on this weekend trip would be a thousand times more enjoyable than being forced to go in a cage in the middle of the ocean. And Coby knew it.

“Fine. What time do we leave?”

“Oh, this is gonna be so much fun!” Coby slammed the trunk shut and bent to grab her bags and her tent bag. Y/N grumbled next to her, holding her own bags, tent, and camera case. “Oh quit whining. This’ll be great.”

Y/N just rolled her eyes and followed her friend to the entrance. The fair wasn’t open for another hour, Coby insisted on leaving at the butt crack of dawn to get here. While the two-hour drive up was rather uneventful it wasn’t until they reached the turn for the road that led to the fair where Y/N understood why Coby was so adamant about the time the left. The cars were backed up all the way to interstate and they were forced to sit for what felt like hours just to get in the parking lot. She wouldn’t admit it to Coby, but the idea of staying on-site and avoiding that whole mind-numbing ordeal was sounding a lot more appealing than the alternative.

Even though this wasn’t exactly her plan for her weekend, Y/N was ready to make the most of it. Once she got some caffeine in her. Coby chatted about everything they had here, from the food to the archery lessons, to the different shows throughout the fair. Not to mentions the shops that Y/N was itching to get a look at. Most, if not all the buildings were built as if they were taken straight from a fairy tale book and had Y/N excited to snap a few photos of. Perhaps she could even get a few people to pose for photos in front of them.

“Why don’t we go set up our tents and put our stuff up, by then the gates should be open and hopefully the line will have died down some.” Coby interrupted, eyeing the mass of people stating at the entrance. Y/N hummed and nodded, following her friend as she led her to the other entrance.

Y/N couldn’t tear her eyes away from all the people dressed up. There were plenty of other sprinkled in there that wore regular everyday clothes, no doubt just wanting to enjoy the fair, but then there were those that wanted to fully immerse themselves. Men, women, and even their children were dressed head to toe in loosely accurate portrayals of medieval outfits. Men wore puffy shirts and leather vest tucked in their dark cotton pants with leather boots. Some women sported similar outfits while others wore dresses and corsets that did little to the imagination. Some were dressed as characters from Lord of the Rings, there were even pirates, fairies, and elves. At one point, she swore she spotted a few Tieflings from Dungeons and Dragons, their faces painted with horns to match. There was so much going on and she was finding it hard to focus on where she was going. The atmosphere was bubbling with excitement and Y/N felt a smile stretching across her face. 

Coby had to reach around and tug Y/N’s arm to face her forward when the other woman started to drift, the corner of her mouth turned up into a smirk.

“I swear you’re like a child.” Coby joked. Y/N scoffed and stuck her tongue out.

“Oh shush. I can’t admire their confidence?”

“Mhm,” Coby smirked her wicked smirk and led them through the campground gate after flashing a ticket to the attendant there.

“Okay, so we’re in section V, plot 15 and 16.” Coby stopped at a map right at the entrance, showing the rows of campsites in the gated off area. There were already several dozen tents up with a few dozen more that were being pitched as the stood there. Y/N was surprised how large the field was, and how organized it seemed. She could see the markers in the rows with the letter down a middle path. “Ah, there we are, towards the back! Ohhh we’re next to the worker's sites too!”

“Is that bad?” Y/N frowned.

“Nope, it means we might get lucky and they’ll hook us up with some free food and beer if we’re nice.”

Y/N snorted and rolled her eyes at Coby.

“Come on,” Coby resituated her bag on her shoulder. “Let’s get this set up and then we can go in. I don't’ wanna deal with it later after we’ve been in the sun all day.”

Y/N followed Coby, still marveling at the number of people around her getting ready in their costumes, most adding the final touches. The closer they got their spot, the more she saw of the costume. It made sense, if the workers were right next to them then they see a lot of them. She was a little envious of their tents, tall pavilion, and marquee tents made of thicker material than her camping tent, some stripped or decorated with symbols like the ones she’d seen in movies. Clearly, they wanted the workers to look the part, even at night away from the crowds. 

Coby eventually stopped at two empty spots and tossed her stuff on the ground a motioned to the plot next to her, clearly marked with the number 16.

“That’ll be yours. There should be instructions in the bag.” Coby started unpacking hers and paused to look up at Y/N. “ Need help with your tent? ”

“Nah,” Y/N shook her head. “I’ll figure it out.”

Coby snorted. “Alright, but don’t come crying to me when your tent becomes a kite cause you forgot to stake it to the ground.”

Y/N just rolled her eyes again and went to work. After twenty minutes of wondering what the heck the instructions meant by attaching J to H, Y/N set up her tent, a round top with plenty of space for at least three other people, and secured it to the ground.

“Remind me again why we can’t just share tents?” Y/N asked, standing outside both her and Coby’s tent with her hands on her hips. Coby shot her look that told her everything she needed to know. “Oh for the- why did you get me a plot further away from you? I don’t have to hear that!”

“I’m not saying it’ll happen!” Coby chuckled and ducked in her tent. “But I’m not passing on an opportunity if it arrives!”

“It’s one weekend! You can’t last one weekend without a booty call?” Y/N groaned. When Coby didn’t reply she crawled into the ten to see what her friend was doing. Coby was bend over her bag, the second one that Y/N thought was odd she brought and was pulling out a few folded pieces of fabric.

“What are those?” Y/N eyed the garments nervously. Coby paid her no mind and continued pulling things out. She set a dark leather corset aside along with matching lace-up boots. “Coby. What are those?”

Slowly, Coby turned to Y/N with her wicked smirk.

“Why our outfits, my dear friend.” She replied ominously.

“What? I’m not wearing that!” Y/N sat back on her heels.

“Yes, you are,” Coby replied with a no-nonsense tone. Y/N blinked.

“Um. No?”

Before she could argue further, Coby spun on her heels from her squat position and pinned Y/N with her stare.

“You promised.”

“Yeah but not this!”

“It’s apart of the promise! We’re here, we’re gonna enjoy this weekend and we’re gonna be part of the fun. That means dressing the part. Do you really want to spend all weekend complaining cause I’m making you wear this?”

“I’m not going to feel comfortable in a dress!” Y/N tried. Which wasn’t completely false, but she really didn’t want to get all dressed up in a tight corset that she’d be sweating in later. It was already warm as it was in the tent, just imagining the leather boots and leather-wrapped around her waist made her overheat. And the chaffing, she didn’t want to think about the chaffing. Coby raised a brow, see right through that feeble attempt at arguing, and sat back as well.

“Two words. Shark. Cage.”

Y/N opened her mouth, but the protest died before she could even start. Once again, Coby had her there. She let out a grumble and stuck out her hand, a sign of defeat. Coby nodded with a smug smirk and handed her the pile of clothes and a pair of brown lace-up boots from her bag. Y/N noticed there was just a brown belt instead of the corset Coby seemed to have.

“Now go change and I can make sure you put it on right.”

“Yes, mom.” Y/N grumbled and crawled out to go to her tent. When she zipped her tent up behind her and unfolded the clothes, she was rather surprised by the dress. It was a heavy cotton dyed robin egg blue with a fitted bodice that flowed out at the waist. It was relatively simple, it didn’t have an intricate pattern save for the embroidery on the collar. The front was laced up with brown leather string, and the sleeves appeared to be detachable from the dress, the same brown laces trying the fabric together. There was an off-white long sleeve slip made of a lighter material she figured would go underneath the dress to hide her skin exposed from the where it peaked out from the lace. The belt itself was just a simple brown leather belt with a ring loop. Surprisingly simple and something Y/N actually wouldn’t mind wearing. Of course, Coby would have thought this through. Now she felt bad arguing, Coby might enjoy terrorizing her from time to time, but she wasn’t heartless.

Letting out a heavy breath, Y/N began to undress and slipped the costume on. She was surprised how it fit her body, hugging her frame in a way that flattered her more than she could have expected. The dress did flow out, not too long that she was worried she’d step on it when she stepped and let enough air up the skirt to keep her cool. She did have to re-tie the lace on the front to the right adjustment for herself, but all in all, it didn’t feel horrible to wear. Coby knew her size, so this shouldn’t have come as a surprise. How long had this woman been planning this?

She was sitting on the ground tying up the laces to her boots when Coby unzipped the tent and stepped in. She had changed into her own dress, and Y/N felt infinitely better with the dress she was given. Coby the ever daring had a dark red skirt with a black puffy off the shoulder top. Her black corset was tied as tight as it could go, and her already full chest was practically spilling out the top. She had pulled her hair back into a pretty braid that fell over her shoulder and even had on a pair of hoop earrings. Now Y/N really understood the reason for the two tents and wondered if she could possibly find some earplugs somewhere.

“Oh good! It fits! I knew you’d want something simple and I guessed on the height, so I’m glad I got it right.” Coby beamed and set a brown leather bag beside Y/N. “Here, use this to carry your stuff in. We can’t have you walking around in the dress and then ruin it with your everyday purse.”

Y/N didn’t even argue this time, just took the bag, and tossed her stuff from her purse into the back. It was unassuming, just like her dress but fit the style and timeline she was trying to go for. It was also big enough she could slip her camera inside if she took the lens off.

“Alright. So the gates should be open, but I was talking with one of the workers and they said we can come in the employee gate since the lines so long.”

It never ceased to amaze Y/N how Coby could just do things like that. She could charm just about anyone into doing what she wanted with a smile. A part of Y/N was always a little envious of how Coby had little to no fear when it came to meeting new people. Y/N wasn’t shy exactly, but her anxiety and passed relationship troubles always reared their ugly heads and made it harder for her to open up. She just wasn’t as naturally charismatic as Coby and was perfectly fine admitting she never would be.

“I want to grab something to eat first since all we had was those breakfast burritos on the way up here. Then I wanna go-.” Coby climbed out of the tent and started listing off all the things she had planned, the woman going a mile a minute. Y/N was just here for the ride. Stepping out and zipping up her tent, Y/N followed her friend and smiled along with Coby, her friend's excitement contagious. Even though she was nervous about the dress and everything, Y/N was still excited for whatever the weekend had in store.

[bestworstcase]

so we've heard your thoughts on swords before, but what about armor?

armor is both a lot tougher and a lot more maneuverable than most fantasy writers think. even full steel plate is not that heavy—30-40 pounds distributed evenly across the body is not a lot of weight—and restricts mobility very little if at all. like you can turn somersaults and run obstacle courses in it.

also you cannot just stab through armor with a sword. or shoot through it with an arrow. THAT’S LITERALLY THE POINT OF ARMOR. even like a gambeson—armor made of tightly padded/quilted cloth—offers pretty significant protection. a good gambeson with 30+ layers of linen can stop a sword. (and also keep you very warm lmao) a lot of fictional armor might as well be tissue paper for all the good it does and that just is not accurate to how armor actually works.

characters in armor should be tanks full stop. especially if they’re in PLATE. that is SOLID STEEL. you can’t stab through steel! bludgeoning weapons like maces or warhammers exist in large part because they allow for enough force to be generated to cause injury through steel armor without penetrating it. likewise, sword techniques like mordhau essentially exist so that you can use your sword like a mace or warhammer to deal with a fully armored opponent. meaning the key vulnerability for armored characters is BLUNT FORCE.

a secondary vulnerability is any gaps in the armor. holes in chain mail, seams between scales in brigantine or other types of scaled armor, the gaps between plates, etc. these are small targets but it is possible to thread a blade through these gaps to get at the squishy vulnerable bits inside…but realistically that’s a matter of luck as much as skill. blunt force is the way to go

you know the bit in cassandra’s revenge where eugene whacks her arms with a sword and she doesn’t even flinch? that’s how characters in regular plate armor should realistically be. (the sword wouldn’t fucking shatter because real swords aren’t made out of fucking glass but that is a whole other thing.) like… fr if you want characters to be all cut up and bloody after a fight don’t put them in armor! or put them in armor because they’re fighters with an iota of sense and just learn to embrace the joy of giving your characters concussions and broken and dislocated bones instead of stab wounds and cuts lol

i think fighty melee characters who go unarmored or lightly armored for the sake of whatever small benefit this gives them in agility/speed/endurance should like. carry shields. shields are good. shields keep you safe and you can bash people in the face with them.

i am literally begging fantasy writers to think about the protective function of armor when they give it to characters i swear it is not just a cool aesthetically pleasing outfit IT HAS. A PURPOSE

also when you see like a V-shaped ridge on the upper part of a breastplate—that’s there to direct arrow shards away from your face / harmlessly over your shoulders after arrows hit your breastplate and shatter. it’s not just decoration it has an important safety function isn’t armor NEAT. like this:

that’s the V of protection from terrible face splinters

[seijorhi]

asks :)

once again i am bad at answering things on time, so have a bunch of asks below the cut

logically speaking, if devil kuroo and fallen angel reader had a baby...

*BD chanting* Hellspawn! Hellspawn! Hellspawn! But no, that would be a big yikes 👀

the fall was SO GOOD!!!!! so in the story we are a fallen angel? and we had witchy friends hide us? also is kuroo jealous of witchy friends for being close with us as just friends or👀👀 also what happened to readers wings if kuroo wasn’t the one who took them?

Thank you, bby! So yes, it’s kinda vague in The Fall because i didn’t want to bog down the fic with backstory. But yeah essentially after being cast out from Heaven, Kuroo stole the reader, who later escaped. It ain’t easy to hide from the Devil, so she find a witch to help keep her hidden from him with the wards - flash forward a hundred or so years and Kuroo finally finds the witch and your other friends, tortures and kills them in his hunt for the reader. He would have killed them regardless for helping the reader, but jealousy is what drives him to take his time, to be cruel.

Also, the reader had her wings ripped off by the other angels after they find out she fell in love with the devil (even though she didn’t know that)

DEVIL KUROO HAS ME RUNNING LAPSHSISBSUS im curious, how did he meet the angel?

 DEVIL KUROO IS SOME GOOD FOOD!! I wanna know how he tricked us and then I want devil kuroo smooches

So I’m gonna answer these two together because they kinda go hand in hand. First of all, thank you, bbies! I’m glad y’all are as horny for him as I am! Basically, without going into the full backstory that I worked out in my head - Kuroo meets her on her first time on earth. I like to imagine that she was all soft and innocent and perfectly naive and caught his attention. He comes to her as ‘Kuroo’ and pretends that he was an angel cast out from Heaven (which isn’t technically a lie 👀) in order to manipulate her. At first it’s more of a game - he’s not as interested in her as he is in corrupting something so pretty and perfect. He wanted her to choose to fall for him, to take something from heaven and ruin it - before casting it aside and leaving it to suffer, but along the way he became a little too invested and caught feelings. Not healthy, good feelings, but feelings nonetheless.

Of course, it’s only a matter of time before the others notice you keep slipping away down to earth, and when they realise who it is you’re with (not nearly so easily fooled by the devil’s tricks) it doesn’t matter - they tear off your wings and cast her out, leaving Kuroo to come and sweep her right up.

The Fall was such a tease, I thoroughly enjoyed it! I totally pictured Kuroo in his JVA outfit when you described him, with volleyball shoes and all 😂 - @itadaklmasu

Lmao I am snorting at the image of Devil!Kuroo wearing volleyball shoes

lol i saw that ask about the person saying they don’t even watch bnha or haikyuu and i’d just to say, same. Idk how i came across your blog but even though i don’t know anything about the characters, your writing absolutely hooked me and i’m so invested in your blog

Sehfblvehjrwkl bby this is so sweet, thank you so much!! Tbh you probably don’t even need to watch the series to read my stuff - just trust me when I say that they’re hot lmao

Okay, first off, I legit check your page every day, and I’m totally in love with your writing. Second, I’ve been simping for Tsukki lately, and I think as a yandere, he would be so good at gaslighting. Like telling you that you aren’t good enough to mean anything to anyone and that he pities you enough to care about you and that he’s the only one that does. Idk how accurate that is, but I feel like he would just be super mean. Don’t forget to rest and take care of yourself!!

💕💕💕 ahh thank you sweetheart!!! Honestly Tsukki would be a really scary yandere to have because he’s cold and mean and super into degradation. Don’t get me wrong, that boy is obsessed with you, loves you - in his own little way - but you’d never know it from the way he treats you. But yeah, he’d manipulate the absolute shit out of you. 

Hi I just wanted to say that you are literally my go to for soulmate Aus. Honestly your pieces are some of the best writings and I adore them soooooo much. I love how they have a lot of depth and emotion behind them and how you incorporate how reluctant the reader is to even want a soulmate sometimes lol. This is my nth time rereading all of your soulmate fics and I swear they get better over time so I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to write them!

Bby, keep talking like that and i’m gonna melt!!! I do have a soft spot for my soulmate au’s because there is just something about that whole concept that just gets to me - especially when you throw jealousy, obsessiveness and a whole bunch of possessive vibes on top. It’s my happy place 😌

Not a request, but I just read Untouchable and I was wondering, how would Aizawa punish the reader now that he has her back?

I don’t think he’d be super into the physical punishments - though he might break a leg to keep her housebound and reliant on him. He’d take away all of her ‘freedoms’ - lock her in the basement with barely enough food and water to survive until she remembers how good she had it before. Of course, once he did let her out, he’d fuck her nice and rough - marking her up so she doesn’t forget who owns her, mind, body and fucking soul.

[theelliottsmiths]

If you had to spend a day with The Nightmare what would you do?

Had to? As if I wouldn't voluntarily? My friend, you underestimate my love for The Nightmare this will not be a hardship.

Assuming it's a physical entity and also that we have 24 hours:

Give it a nice hot bath and help it wash it's hair. It may take a few washes. If it reacts badly it's fine, I have experience with grooming scared/upset animals (not that it's an animal) so I think we can get through it with only minor injuries.

Launder it's dress if possible. If not I will work out where the nearest dry cleaners is and drop it off while it's having it's lovely bubble bath.

Help it clean and dress it's wounds

Teach it to brush it's teeth

I am smaller than it by quite a lot. I may have a hoodie that will fit it but assuming I've had prior warning I'll have bought it a cosy outfit or two which it can wear.

Take it to experience the wonders of Gregg's. C'est délicieux dude. I can't imagine it physically gets out much so we will take the long walk around, the graveyard is nice and occasionally there are dogs.

Ask it what it would like to do. I imagine it won't be keen on going anywhere with lots of people so I'm thinking stay in and watch something nice cuddled up in the couch but it's good to give it options so it feels it has some control

Possibly take it to see some animals if they aren't terrified by its energy

Teach it to bake or knit or something. It seems like it needs distractions and praise

Sort out sleeping. I assume it sleeps. I say sort it out because we need to know how it will sleep best: if my theory if it being a massive ball of quiet fear is accurate does it want me in there too? Asleep or guarding it? Will it give me bad dreams? That one isn't important I have a lot of those anyway. It can take my bed, it's a little large for the couch and deserves only the best care. Will it give the cats nightmares? I want it to be so well rested for once.

If it's going back to somewhere not awful it's going with a lil care package. Tooth brush, tooth paste, germolene, shampoo and conditioner (potentially the no rinse kind but if it doesn't have decent running water it's probably not a nice place), body wash, the clothes etc. Activities/books mayhaps. Snacks.

If it's going back There then lol fuck no it lives with me now. If they catch wind of the physical manifestation of children's nightmares living in my home what are they going to do, evict us? I'd like to see them try.

If it was confident enough we could go into town or to the big park but that seems ambitious. I think it might be interested in some art or the dinos at the museum. It's fine, everyone will just take us for goths.

[turin-too-deep-turambar]

They look 10x better as thumbnails. Part of the problem is I’m drawing on very bumpy painting paper, the other part is that I am not an artist, I’m a cut-rate costumer at best.

Disclaimers on historical accuracy: This is a shameless blend of 17th and 19th century Polish noble (szlachta) costume. Some artistic liberties have been taken. Most of these fabrics should be brocade, but I’m not about to draw that by hand. The sashes (pas kontuszowy) should also be much more heavily embroidered. I haven’t seen any paintings of wolf skins worn in the manner Curufin is wearing his, but heavy furs were very common. Cheetah and tiger skins are depicted in several contemporary paintings, but usually not with the heads. Many modern reproductions of szlachta armor include them draped in this way. Usually, the hat is worn by the person, not the cheetah.

I have decided not to style the hair in a historically accurate manner just to save us all the pain. I’ve kept the long elven hair for all our sanity.

The szlachta costume consisted of the żupan, kontusz or delia, hat, szabla, pas kontuszowy and, optionally, a cloak/mantle/animal skin.

The żupan was the button-up shirt of the ensemble. It showed a bit at the chest and sometimes the sleeve. It often had buttons. It could also be worn alone, if you were poor. Here, Maedhros, Maglor and Curufin are wearing żupans. Maglor’s has fancy puffed sleeves.

The kontusz (no one here is wearing a delia) was an overcoat with often oversized slashed sleeves, called false sleeves. They could also be sleeveless. Here, Maedhros, Caranthir and Celegorm wear the sleeved variant. Mags is wearing the sleeveless variant.

The hat had to be worn by all polite gentlemen, which is why Celegorm isn’t wearing one. They generally had one or two feathers in them. I can’t find the name for them. Konfederatka springs to mind but I’m not sure that’s the actual name.

The szabla is the most important part of the ensemble. The middle ground between fancy dueling rapier and crusader sword, the szabla is most effective on and off horse and can be wielded as honorably or dishonorably as one likes. Truly the most versatile weapon to grace Middle-Earth, save perhaps the rolling pin.

Cloaks were worn for warmth (gee, thanks, whoda thunk) and were often made in part of a thick, warm hide, wool, and sometimes finer materials like something that looks like immensely heavy velvet were wasted on them.

Speaking of fabric, the rich man’s żupan was commonly made of silk brocade. The kontusz was also silk, generally lined in part with fur for winter, or with a complementary lining that was shown by the false sleeves, standing collar, or a particularly vindictive swish. Here, the characters are wearing mostly russet, brown, gold and black. Very festive of them, as it’s just coming up on fall!

Now on to character notes!

Maedhros is dressed the most historically accurate by a slim margin. He turned out quite a bit lighter here than I anticipated, for whatever reason.

Maglor is holding a suka (I know), an instrument sort of like a lap violin, evidently. Those puffy sleeves were a real thing. They just *screamed* Mags. Those aren’t even a particularly egregious example, if you can believe it.

Celegorm’s armor is actually not that far from an actual hussar, minus the wings and gold trim. Instead of a cross, I’ve included the Fëanorion star. In this universe, his cheetah drape has been affectionately named ‘Curvo’ and wears a hat that his namesake wore as a child. Tyelko’s shitty diadem is a quirk of his character and not something that was ever worn. (Fun meme: Celegorm invents the diadem by accident because he can’t get his tooth necklace over his big fuck-off hair).

That all-black outfit Caranthir is wearing is present in two paintings I can think of, and several photographs. Why doesn’t he win most accurate? That’s a mail shirt peeking out of his collar.

Curufin is wearing a wolfskin named Tyelko and branded on the paws with his insignia and his father’s. That hat is a bit more Russian than Polish, but eh, whatevs. This whole post is a middle finger to anyone who cares about Polish costume at this point anyway, everything’s all over the place and not the least accurate. Pengolodh would have my head.

The Ambarussa are tragically absent. They were both burnt at Losgar in this universe (actually I just ran out of space on the page).

Anyway, I’m feeling entirely too proud of what I’ve done here, so let’s say I stop the self aggrandizement now and let you notice the two or three fun details that remain (assuming fuckin anybody sees this post, lol). How about some other Finwions when I get around to this again? Could be Tuesday, could be November, we’ll just have to see.

[yoshi-p]

everyone and their dog is doing it and everyone is absolutely allowed to share their opinions so i want a turn but first let me clarify:

hello im yase, been around since 1.0. I am of turkish and nogai descent and i can speak fluently in tatar, turkish but my english doesn’t hold 100% so i will be all over the place.

Unfortunately this will all be word of mouth and may be taken as vague posting, but I have experienced issues since the release of 4.0 and would like to give my opinions. I want to let this all off my chest this is just a huge vent basically so i guarantee my english will be terrible.

the most important point: NEVER EVER SPEAK FOR ANOTHER CULTURE. NEVER EVER SPEAK ABOUT A CULTURE YOU DON’T KNOW. YOU HAVE SPREAD FALSE INFORMATION AND I AM SO HURT.

another point is ITS A VIDEO GAME GUYS (does not apply to everything but some people really need to take a step back because people are concerned.)

Here’s the hot topic I’ll talk of first: garleans. I personally do not play one as I prefer to play characters that would never be involved in a sense with the political agenda because in real life im too stupid to comprehend anything like that so i wouldn’t even know how my character would behave with the hot topics. I really do think people need to take a step back and see that everyone who is putting in their input is making solid points but personally I would never compare them to nazi germany though I see why people are generalising. I always saw it as tsardom of russia with the use of roman influence as well, something obvious in naming conventions and the way the ranks/monarchy(?) works but it’s not so clear what the main influences of most places in this game if you have a look at the bigger picture. Without like full on spoiling, its weird to have this view to me with the knowledge that ascians are behind this. Are you implying anyone who plays or was influenced by ascians is also under this umbrella? 

Also why THE HELL WOULD YOU TAG SOMETHING KNOWING IT WOULD GET A LOT OF TRACTION AND RESPONSE THEN BE LIKE “you guys misunderstood, I was expressing my feelings” lol no. “ I don’t understand where this is coming from, and at this point, I don’t really want to.” then why did you even fucking bother do it in private dont tag it.

You are COMPLETELY valid to feeling uncomfortable, it is fine because with how much of this world we have there will be aspects some of us don’t like. You are not inclined to involve yourself with someone if they roleplay as a garlean but you do not need to start publicising it in a way that will paint the community in black and white when its truly a wider spectrum.

YOU CHOOSE WHO YOU INVOLVE YOURSELF WITH AND WHO YOU PLAY WITH, PLEASE GET AWAY FROM PEOPLE WHO GIVE YOU NEGATIVE FEELINGS OR YOU’LL SPREAD IT TO OTHERS.

from that initial and very brief tagged post there popped up many others and new discourse is arising, opening discussions about many things which is better then being blind to it all. but if you have personal grievances with someone and you state its over, let it be over. It’s not healthy behaviour. it’s also troubling to see someone complain a lot about the game and continue to play, no one is forcing you or holding a gun to your head. take breaks if you need to and play less frequently. like, real life is so much more important and there are people in this community that prioritise relationships with players etc.

Also, please stop fucking talking about mongolian/turkic/turkish culture like you know things. 99% of the big mouths in this community are americans. like majority are white americans. 

over the course of this expansion i have had many people of varied backgrounds share with me some terrible experiences and i myself have seen some truly stupid shit. 

WE ARE HERE TO HELP YOU LEARN OF OUR CULTURE AND WHERE TO CONTINUE DOING SO. DO NOT INTERPRET MEDIA AS ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF CULTURE.

it is absolutely not hard to tag a post and ask around, someone will pop up. I’ve been doing my very best to let everyone i know that i can help with learning about my culture or to find someone who would be more then happy to explain and share with other cultures. But when you go off of a documentary you saw of Genghis khan or only know of the tourist white people scenes of istanbul you as a community say some TRULY dumb shit.

I like to try and be patient because i myself when approaching someone of a culture i admire and am curious about i want that in turn. But if you say to me things like “Ainu aren’t real” or “Tatar people have nothing in common with tribes from the Altai mountains” its hard to do so.

FFXIV regions are not just “Germany” “Turkey” “Mongolia”. If you think this, it’s clear to me you don’t know shit and are too lazy to explore, further just google shit its not that hard. I had someone tell me that my people could never be in this game since its “Straight up mongolia” fucks sake NO ITS NOT. The designs vary and i can see the differences in simple things like words because i actually bother to do research even coming from a turkic culture. There were some beautiful little things dropped that linked to not only my people but others like Uyghur and Altai. The only place in FFXIV i think could only have a singular influence is Kugane, because from a foreigner’s perspective that’s already interesting enough. Many people have grievances and real issues with how SE has handled Doma’s influences and no one ever talks about that. Representation for asia in media has turned into this mess of specific east asian countries, the trio that even then gets categorized into China/Japan with brief mentions of Korean culture. 

Its frustrating. There are people who are happy to teach you. Who are willing to show what is wrong with the picture.

I have read several posts about Turkey/istanbul/Antalya. Yall fuckin weird you guys seem to think its in U.A.E or some shit with how you act. It’s in the Mediterranean/Europe/Asia/Middle East and there is no such thing as a specific looking Turkish person. You claim everyone is specifically white/brown, HELL NO. It’s a mixed nation and that’s the history of the land, if you had ever fucking stepped in turkey and spoke to any person on the street they’ll say their heritage that lead them to there. People claim Ala mhigo’s influences are turkey but i have yet to see that. As someone who has lived there and has heritage there and is strongly connected to that culture, i dont see it. sure the ala mhigan gown had patternings but thats also present in my nogai culture too because parts of turkey’s society descended from the line of the Kayi tribe. Just fucking LEARN TO READ GUYS. None of you guys even know what the altai mountains mean and i could sit and explain over and over again if you let people SPEAK.

Look at Thavnairian items. We have outfits that are completely different, a full length dress and then a bustier. you can’t start generalising things in video games to be one culture you have to realise most places in this game have several influences. We don’t know a lot but everything we have been given has been varied enough to pin point it to ONLY one influence.

I don’t want to just keep going about this simply because im growing frustrated.

The thing with Viera complaints. I think some are valid but some are stupid. For one as I make this post it hasn’t even been confirmed so there is no reason for policing Viera to a severe extent. Considering all the Ivalice content in game has been an alternate universe kind of thing its dumb as shit. But feol viera being made without understanding the knowledge that people who have played rw picked up is quite frustrating. As a community, its important to help people when we have information that others may need that they cant understand the context of.

I know people are worried about them being fetishized, that is my legitimate fear too as a huge ivalice fan. But this is a repeated cycle especially when we consider generalizations like miqo’te especially seekers and belly dancing or when au ra arrived and people thought xaela were genghis khan basically. 

The game is not solid, there are so many holes in the lore and the plots and i know people hate that but we fill the gaps with our own opinions and theories. While I understand some people think we need to move forward in 2019 because “japan is xenophobic”, its a very difficult thing to do. THEY DO HIRE PEOPLE FOR CULTURE ADVISING. THEY TRAVEL OFTEN AND DEVELOP WITH THIS. IT’S NOT LIKE THEY WENT ON GOOGLE AND SAID “yeah a japan land would be fun” they literally have people hired specifically for this stuff. however, at the end of the day its a company that has yet to show it can evolve with the times. Its becoming more and more evident with the recent patterns of main titles in FF and side projects having so many issues in story/lore/management. remember 1.0 basically died being absolute garbage and this is salvaged from that.

its really late and i had a terrible evening so i may not be making the most sense but theres more important things to worry about then to make this game a miserable experience when it could be a huge learning opportunity for everyone. There’s no need to generalise people into categories because of characters they choose to develop but its important to note with majority of people standing up higher on the pedestal are those speaking for the minorities groups that have direct influences in the game.

also lol if you fucking say ainu aren’t real to me one more time i will fucking throttle you

[gaarfielf]

Not to be that guy but here’s an analysis on LGBT characters/rep in the lupin iii universe nobody asked for. I’m gonna cover Twilight Gemini, Harimou’s Treasure, Angel Tactics, TWCFM, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 5

Twilight Gemini is arguably one of the least popular films of the series pretty much based on the fact it’s just not a good movie. But this ain’t a movie review that’s just the facts. Anyway the villain’s henchman, Sadachiyo, is gay and the movie does not skirt around it at all. Lupin makes several “jokes” about the character being gay and the character is written to be very perverted and evil (obviously because he’s a henchman) but nonetheless very stereotypical to downright offensive (his character wearing lipstick is a little uh). Ultimately, Goemon returns at the very ass-end of the film to stab him directly in the chest and that’s where that story ends. Now, there isn’t much to say about this character because he really was only around for Lupin to make jokes that weren’t funny before dying. Gotta love them yep huh /eye roll/

Harimou’s Treasure gave us the double whammy of not only a bad joke against intersex people and trans women, but also a nazi joke! hooray. The film uses a slur that some may argue “wasn’t a slur back then” but nonetheless leaves the film to have aged terribly. The character...../sighs/ Herr Maphrodite /SIGHS LOUDER/, is once again a huge offensive stereotype and coincidentally, another villain. By the end of the film Fujiko manages to take him down by.... kissing him.... and he’s so repulsed.... that they just... win somehow. It’s really just an unpleasant scene. But luckily the film isn’t hugely popular (in comparison to Secret of Mamo, Cagliostro, Fuma, etc).

Angel Tactics threw in a new idea with a bisexual woman........... who is also a villain. Detecting a pattern yet? Her name is Lady Joe /HUGE SIGH/ and she is shown to be pretty masculine which there isn’t necessarily anything wrong with until you consider that TMS might have argued otherwise, but the film eventually reveals her “true form” (???) where she’s actually really perverted and her outfit changes to be very revealing and “sexy” (TMS wouldn’t know sexy if it bit em in the ass tbh). It’s almost as if TMS associates being gay with being evil and perverted? Wild.

TWCFM is a split audience in this aspect, with a gay character that some believe is pretty accurate representation and others believe is just another TMS classic gay stereotype. Personally speaking, the fact that Oscar was designed to look like a woman (the same head shape, wide hips and skinny body as Fujiko) and also being notably... /excited/ around Zenigata, I disliked the representation. However, other people (gay people specifically b/c why would I ask straight people how they felt about him lol) believe that he’s actually really speaking to them as a gay character. I mention this because I didn’t personally finish TWCFM so I don’t wanna throw him under the bus as a character, but I will say, he is still a villain in the series as made apparent by his strict hate for Fujiko (presumably out of jealousy).

Part 2 gave us a fast one with the Rose of Versailles episode. It was a crossover episode between the two series and TMS decided to do a very interesting take on it where Lupin literally falls in love with a character disguised as a man. In the episode it’s very apparent he has no idea that the character he’s in love with is actually a woman and actually convinces Jigen and Goemon later that it’s not a big deal. Jigen and Goemon by the by, are not cool with their relationship but eventually grow more neutral about it as the episode progresses. Speaking bluntly, this episode is a very wild outlier in Part 2 as an episode which literally outright confirms Lupin as bisexual (or pan, or any degree of not-straight that tickles your fancy). However, it’s often not acknowledged for ??? reasons. Alongside this in Part 2, there is another episode Lupin disguises himself as a woman to seduce a man for his money, only to find that after revealing himself that the man... doesn’t care. They get married in the episode. I don’t know how this goes over peoples head. Granted, Lupin was in it for the money but I think Lupin of all people could’ve come up with a different plan if he really didn’t want to legally marry a man.

Part 3 also gave us something new with various episodes that imply Jigen might swing that way too. Bear with me here but Part 3 delivers /a lot/ of secluded scenes with Jigen outwardly upset that Lupin ditched him for a woman. Scenes where he looks away from women that Lupin are talking to/about, scenes where he leaves the room when there’s women, scenes where he refuses to look at Lupin when he’s with a woman and just generally more outwardly not interested in women compared to previous Parts where he more-or-less ignores them. Previous Parts, Jigen might not be crazy about women but there isn’t really as many strong visuals as their are in part 3 that suggest he’s explicitly attracted to men (though there are scenes in Part 1 and 2 where he quite literally goes into hysterics over Lupin, thinking he’s dead, though take it as you will). Speaking of more visuals surrounding Jigen specifically related to being gay, I’ll bring up the obvious one being the classic Play Bohz scene, where Jigen is very visibly reading a muscle magazine (a kind of magazine that was specifically popular among gay men in the 80s as a more ‘discreet’ way of essentially reading filth) and I mean. That’s pretty concrete. But there’s also other nods to it like him and Lupin smoking under a billboard with two men kissing on it, Jigen telling Goemon he looks cute in women’s clothing, etc. Part 4 even gives us Fujiko implying that Jigen is jealous at Lupin and Rebecca’s wedding which Jigen.... doesn’t respond to.

Part 5 is where TMS reverts back to its old ways. Actually it’s new ways because part 2 and 3 were the 70s and 80s and all these outwardly homophobic movies happened in the late 90s through the 2000s. But nonetheless we get....another... gay.... villain. hooray. again. His name is Albert in case you haven’t watched it yet. Not only that but he is mentioned offhandedly to be gay in one (1) episode before it’s never mentioned again (not exactly what I’d call representation) and the series also doesn’t shy away from gay jokes that purposely make fun of fans for shipping the characters and just in general make fun of gay people. TMS, it’s 2018, can we stop making gay jokes? They aren’t funny. Zenigata pulling his gun on Lupin for making the joke wasn’t funny, Jigen attempting to kick Lupin’s phone out of his hands wasn’t funny, and even the article claiming they were dating wasn’t very funny because it was deadass a joke made at the expense of fans. A wacky gay joke accompanied with hating your fans is a funny way of writing, huh?

In conclusion, why is it that the 70s and 80s somehow handled hinting at these supposed “controversial topics” better than it was in movies made in the 2000s and then rinsed and repeated again in the year 20 fucking 18. I think if Part 2 can have an episode where Lupin deadass flirts and falls in love with a man, Part 5 should have been capable of not writing homophobic characters. and thats the hot but true take of the day.

NOTE: if y’all try to message me to argue keep in mind 1) theres literally nothing straight about Lupin falling in love with a man and Jigen reading a muscle magazine literally known to target gay men and 2) theres nothing you can do to convince me otherwise so you best be ready to swallow that pill and 3) Don’t @ me with ‘bUT lUPIN lIKES wOMAN’ because yeah. no shit. read up on what being bi means before opening your mouth.

[ask-readyplayergaymers]

((Mod post!! Gonna answer some questions for me that have been sitting around for a while, sorry the response is so late ;w;

Everything’s under the cut to save space 0w0 ))

Anonymous said: Okay but totally loving the concept of Michael as Gil and Jeremy as Oz??? Like, freaking Alice is Christine (even tho its totally a personality clash apart from the childish aspect but shhhh) and just yes

YEAH MAN...any type of PH crossover is good hhh but GOSH imagine Michael like. After growing up and spending ten years looking for Jeremy like Gil did ahh my heart aches!! And Jeremy coming back pouting like “You’re taller than me now that’s totally not fair, M” Christine would make a really cute Alice I think, just seeing her dress up like Alice and having her kick ass as the B-Rabbit?! Hell yeah!

zekromztk2 said: Out of all of the Pandora Hearts characters, who is your favorite? Mine is... probably either Alice or Oz

HELL I LOVE GILBERT I’D DIE FOR THAT MAN LEGIT;; I love Oz and Break a lot too and! RUFUS BARMA AS WELL I ADORE HIM

Anonymous said: did I hear Harry Potter?

Ye man talk to me about the Marauder days any time I love talking about Sirius, James and Remus getting into shenanigans at Hogwarts hoo boy

Anonymous said: (Hey mod, so basically Jake and Rich are just gonna be background characters with kind of their own stories?)

Yes! Jeremy and Michael are the main focus here, but Jake and Rich sort of have their own thing going on in the background as more minor characters to the overall blog! I want to make a more developed backstory for the treasure hunter girls and Christine as well, so we’ll see how that goes~

Anonymous said: Thank you so much for introducing the novel this AU is based on to me!! Now that I've finished reading, I understand a lot more about this AU and now I want to ask... Would you consider Mr. Heere/Reyes as Morrow?

You’re very welcome, it’s a great novel so! I’m glad more people are reading it after having run into this blog, I must spread the pureness that is Aech to all of humanity //shakes fists And yes! Mr. Reyes is Morrow, I can imagine him sort of contributing to the hunt with lots of theater related things, which Christine specializes in! Book!Squip is Halliday, and there’s actually a little more about that and his relationship with Jeremy that I want to get into later.

Anonymous said: ((I had literally never heard of ready player one but I lov this blog so much I actually went out and bought it. Consider me murdled dead))

Yeah man like;; I didn’t read the novel until this past summer and after that I just got so into it and BMC at the same time so? I combined the two and here we are! Aaah I’m so glad!! Like I’ve said before I love it when people come tell me they went out to buy the novel and read it because of me, it makes me so happy :’) Hjrhjd please don’t die lol

emibeani said: ((I just finished reading Ready Player One, and thank you so much for this blog.))

I’m glad to hear it!! And you’re very welcome, I honestly didn’t expect so many people to get into but I’m super appreciative of all the interest you guys have shown so far so?? Thank you!!

Anonymous said: THIS IS NOT A ASK, BUT, OMG, THIS AU IS FUCKING PERFECT.

Glad you like it, ty! ;D

aslyn-is-artsy said: Your art is absolutely amazing

Hrhrhgfh I’m blushing thank you wow;;

aslyn-is-artsy said: Thank you so much for showing me this amazing book. I now aspire to become the real version of Art3mis. Just with short blonde hair instead. ;)

No problem!! It’s such a fantastic read and I was honestly blown away by it, so yeah...! Haha yeah I love Arty! She’s such a badass character and she doesn’t put up with any of Wade’s shit, which is great, she’s so empowered and I adore her

theitalianscribe said :I don't remember if this was answered, but is Michael trans male in this au?

Nope! I mean if you want to headcanon him that way that’s fine, I won’t stop you! I’m not going to endorse that since I myself don’t see him being that way, but you all are entitled to your own opinions so! And even if he were trans that wouldn’t be the main point of the blog anyway, I’m focusing more on their actual relationship, not their sexuality or gender or anything like that ^^

Anonymous said:i checked the book Ready Player One out from the library just because of this blog! are there any other books you recommend? (i havent finished the book but i like it so far i think!)

Oh nice!! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! Ahhh hmm well if you like supernatural teen stories, there’s a series called Darkest Powers by Kelley Armstrong about this girl named Chloe who finds out she’s a necromancer after being sent to a “troubled teens” home, and she meets these boys named Simon and Derek who also have special abilities and then all sorts of crazy things happen! I first read it back in high school and I still love it a lot, so yeah it’s a trilogy and all of the characters are really great so! (I looooove Simon like. So much.) Check it out if you have the time, it’s a good read!

kitikat101 said: Random potential song parodies: I Love the OASIS (I Love Play Rehearsal), Find That Egg (Be More Chill, pts. 1 and 2), Two-Player Game (but with Joust), Oases In My Head (Voices In My Head)

Kit can I say how much I adore these song titles they fit so well I’m really tempted to make parodies for all of them, absolutely brilliant

geeklychic1012 said: So are we allowed to send in fanfics based on this blog? (Cuz I submitted one but my wifi is shit and I think Tumblr might have eaten it haha)

YES!! Please do I’d highly enjoy reading stuff from you guys! And yes I saw and it breaks my heart like. Why. I’ll post it soon for everyone else to see too! They must all suffer as I have hfhdjhgjg

Anonymous said: Who would be I-r0k in this au? Or would I-r0k still be his normal jerk self?

I’m actually...not sure :0 There aren’t enough characters in BMC to properly cross over with all the rest of the RPO characters so;; I might have to go through the BMC novel and find some obscure background character to sneak in as I-r0k lol, because I would like to have all of the RPO characters replaced by BMC counterparts, if that makes sense!

theitalianscribe said: Does someone else take Halliday's place in this au? Also, do the gunters have a shared obsession with pop culture from a certain time period? What time period?

Yeah, I mentioned that up above! But Book!Squip takes over the role of Halliday, and musical Squip is Sorrento, of course~ Honestly I’d say like, probably the early 2000s, since that was when I was growing up and I can actually make references back to that time lol? I mean I love the 80s as well, just as it is in the book, but I feel as if I don’t know enough about that time period to actually. Make proper references and constantly. (I mean I could ask my parents who lived during that time too but;; haha.) Most of the stuff on here are me self-projecting, like with video games, books, and anime, that’s all me lol

Anonymous said: " “You don’t need to sell me on anything, Wade,” she said. “You’re my best friend. My favorite person.” With what appeared to be some effort, she looked me in the eye. “I’ve really missed you, you know that?”My heart felt like it was on fire. I took a moment to work up my courage; then I reached out and took her hand." aka perfect au is perfect how does it fit S O well

!!! yEAH MY DUDE I LOVED THAT PART and just imagining Michael saying that to Jeremy I wanted to cry;; I don’t even know but the INSTANT Aech was introduced I was like “Ohhh man. I’m getting major BMC vibes here” and bam, a week later this blog was born lol

Anonymous said:Would you be okay with cosplay of your character designs? I can't do one anytime soon, but they look really cool (and jerm's hair honestly looks fun to do)

YES!! OH MY GOD I’d probably die of sheer happiness if you guys cosplayed these dorks! If you want I could draw a character ref sheet so you actually get a proper look at their outfits! But yes I’d highly enjoy that;; like the cosplay doesn’t even have to be accurate I’d still love it anyway, and doing things like acting out some of the asks here (I’ve seen it be done before and it’s so cute!) would be totally okay too! But yeah as always TAG ME or submit it here so I can see it aaaa I’d love love LOVE that! ^^

Anonymous said: SPECIAL BOY SPECIAL BOY SPECIAL BOY SPECIAL BOY SPECIAL B

YEEEEEAAAAA IT’S ABOUT TIME I MADE AN OUTFIT FOR RICH RIGHT I LOVE HIM SM

maysurprisedyou said: Hi! This isn't quite an ask, but!! I started reading Ready Player One because of this blog and it's really interesting so far so thank you!! All of your posts seem to make my day ahah <3

Oooh I’m happy you’re liking it so far, I’m glad my blog inspired you to read it! And aaAAAA that’s so sweet I’m?? Hhhhfh thank you! :’)

[abundantchewtoys]

Homestuck^2 re: Chapter 1 “Clown Logistics” (p57-95)

So, I would like to see the persecuting crew, but I wonder what the Clown Logistics'd apply to in that context.

It might also apply to getting rid of Gamzee's dead body - if Vriska ML fears Jane might come after her and (Vriska).

Though I would like it to apply to something more innocent, like John talking to Harry Anderson and harlequins somehow making their way into the subject matter.

---

Page 57

Oooooh, so THAT is what Vriska ML looks like! The text hadn't described her that much in detail, so this is a pleasant surprise!

She's a goth, hahah. It's ironic - in a way, dressing this way isn't rebellious at all, if that's what she was aiming for, since both her moms are themselves quite gothic too. Didn't expect the short hair, but it stands to reason a child raised by Kanaya and Rose wouldn't have long hair where her mothers don't!

Cool outfit all around.

So, it's also a nice juxtaposition to (Vriska) from the Game Over timeline. She went more the punk route under influence of Meenah.

And post-retcon (Vriska) is still looking quite burned and bloodied from her escapades on the battlefield in the Furthest Ring. Though it's notable that her chest isn't pierced, I thought a piece of broken spacetime hit her there

Hahah, she's claiming John's phone. Stickyfingers Serket.

So this means that when Jake says he didn't know where John went to... He was here just now, talking to Rose! So this takes place before John went to talk to Roxy and Harry Anderson. Oh boy, so we might be in for seeing that heartwrenching father-son conversation after all.

Say, the way Vriska ML holds her arms, with her sleeves like that... It kind of reminds me of Kanaya. I wonder if there are other mannerisms we'll see her having taken over from her mothers.

---

Page 58

Oooooh, hah. That's actually so true to her nature. (Vriska) staying obsure, not as relevant as the real deal? Nope.

This actually feels like something where the suggestion box could have opened up again.

Then again, we might just be shown a list of fake options on the next page.

Though I wonder if this is where people chose Vriska ML, the term used in the recap page. Vriskers is a fan favorite for the original flavour.

Hmm, Rosemary? It's just accurate but left-field enough it might work. :P And it's 8 letters, come to think of it!

---

Page 59

... Where did that eyepatch come from?! Was she really that hurt in the fight? Hah, she drew an 8/infinity symbol on it.

Ooooooh. Vrissy, huh? Okay, it's kind of a cute nickname. Sounds kind of like Vriska+sissy, though. Although, she IS kind of a sister to Vriska.

She seems to enjoy it though! But, uh, to me, it's still a bit confusing to read, since the first four letters of their name is still the same, and their text colour is all the same. :P We need Vrissy to change to red text colour, stat! :P

Anyway, they want to dispose of the body - not turn their back on it - and Vrissy wants to call some people.; So that's bound to be Tavros and Harry Anderson, right?

Though it's a bit strange she'd call her kismesis and matesprit at the same time, especially as said people are currently under close scrutiny by Jane, you'd think.

What's Vriska's reaction going to be to Vrissy calling a Tavros, though? :P

---

Page 60

Huh, that's less of an antagonistic interaction between them. Maybe "kismesis" is a loose term.

"Roll with it", pffffff.

So, Tavros is very much going to highjack one of Jane's smaller ships, right? Maybe this is what Jake referred to, his son and his kismesis being out.

Hah, namedrop! Now to see Vriska's response. Jawdrop?

Blaperile thinks Tavros might come in a car. That could work too, stuffing Gamzee's body in the trunk. And going on a roadtrip.

---

Page 61

XD, yeah, actually, a cringe reaction fits too. Then again, it was only a few hours ago she saw Tavros' ghost, so it wouldn't be THAT big a blast from the past... Wait, was she expecting GCATavrosprite or something??

Hah, so Vrissy thinks Tavros will get a kick out of seeing Gamzee dead. I don't think he'll be estatic, but he'll certainly won't mind. I'm dying to see how he looks though, Jade and John's biological brother!

---

Page 62

... That looks like a flying Smart from this angle.

Lol. Yeah, seems like a Vris thing, oggling Tavros car and being miffed it isn't hers.

---

Page 63

oooooooh. Yup, this looks what a Jane/Jake child with a bit of Gamzee peppering would end up looking like! Cool sidebangs.

The purple text and suit does beg explanation though, since Gamzee's such a shitty rolemodel. Maybe he doesn't really have a say in his clothing. :/

He does remind me of one of the kids on the Sburb fan album this way, though.

I love him.

---

Page 64

... Pfffff, and there's him keeping up the Tavros name in the unwilling clumsiness. Heheehh.

Vrissy did do a good job explaining the situation.

And it seems like this boy might have inherited some of John and Jake's panache at dramatic entrances!

---

Page 65

D: Poor, poor dude.

Ding dong, the clown is dead.

---

Page 66

(Still not seeing the kismesitude, though I LOVE Vrissy's attempt at being supportive.)

Vriska's also being rather uncharacteristically hospitable. Also, isn't she weirded out by the idea of attracting OTHER people, after having known the same 20-odd faces for so long?

---

Page 68

He's on the brink of adventure. He's heard the note desolation plays.

Tavros' life is on the brink of changing, is what I'm saying.

I wonder, is he bare underneath the sweater? Oh righ, he had that shirt with the bowtie.

---

Page 69

Hey, suspenders! ... They're just as orange as Vrissy's phone! Huh, I thought it might have been a compression issue, that Vrissy's phone was Crockertech (since it's presumably the foremost prelavent tech), but now I wonder.

... Wait, does Dirk have tech company? Orange and such. But suspenders don't strike me as his thing. :P

---

Page 71

Wait what?

... Is THIS Harry Anderson??????????

I thought the kid had glasses too, and black hair like John!

Dang, okay, those are some STRONG Lalonde genes. Coooooool.

John's son is a coolkid. My mind is blown.

---

Page 72

LOLLLLLLL.

So his personality is a delightful cross between Roxy and John's. He's only working off the assumption Vrissy's pranking him. Thinking he's the pranking MASTER.

Well, that coolkid facade is gonna be cracked real soon. Though I take his word for it he'll still know where to stash the thing. Even though he's all slick, I think the kid has inherited Roxy's IQ.

---

Page 75

Hahah, Harry Anderson didn't play truant for his last hour of school.

And Vriska's references to Alternia are going to keep weirding the other teens out.

This clown business does INDEED bring a lot of logistics with it.

Heehee, yeah, Vriska notes as well that Vrissy's rather chummy with her kismesis. I wonder if she, Tavros and Harry Anderson are in a state of flux in their quadrants. When she's chummy with one, she antagonizes the other.

Oooh, time for the first real point of disagreement between the two Vris'!

Blaperile has a good point - Tavros is going to end up with the rebels somehow. Well, I suppose him being seen with Vrissy is going to be enough to start a rumour, but he might indeed end up in the rebel camp proper, in the Troll Kingdom.

---

Page 76

Awww. Okay, so it's just a very low-energy kismesitude. His dorkiness vs her bossiness. And it just works, a better adjusted version of Nitram and Vriska's relation. It's even tamer than John and Terezi's bickering, is what I'm saying. At least for now.

---

Page 77

Pfff, so he actually went 'Right-o' and still followed Vriska out the door. Cool move for a kismesis, for sure.

N'aww, she hates-likes him.

Why did no-one captchalogue the corpse, though?

---

Page 79

So, are they gonna get caught? I'm not that worried about the honk. I mean, at this point, Gamzee reviving? I'm not really seeing it. But his body, even at rest, is full of the honkiest squeaks, that I believe.

If they let him drop now, which might happen since the aquabloods aren't stopping... It'll cause a ruckus.

---

Page 81

Pfffff. Vriska's efficiency level is at such a low level. It's hilarious.

Tavros has a good intuition, it seems, he felt she would be counting to 8.

---

Page 83

Ahhh, this is such a wacky hijinx adventure, I never expected...

Wait.

Hold the fuck up.

We're now in the Weekend at Bernie’s zone. Holy shit.

---

Page 85

Pffff, they actually managed to set the sprinklers off with so much as smoke? My god.

Yeah, they have to run for cover now, leaving the dead clown behind.

---

Page 86

Welp. WELP. They're caught. Hilarious BLUH panel though.

Okay, now, I can see how this story will get blown up, and Jane assumes the rebels kidnapped Tavros. ... Wait.

Chances are high that all the teens are just going to end up somewhere else entirely, not even at the rebel camp at all. Ah, yes, a misunderstanding pile-up causing the war to escalate is just something I can see happening here. Bonus points for it being a bunch of dumb teens covering up a dumb clown murder.

---

Page 87

Ooooooh. Five-letter names! Well, it fits Harry Anderson. And emoji's! :O We're in a new decennium now, that's for sure.

Yeah this is going viral.

I wonder if these people's names are, like, coming from Patreon backers. Or old Kickstarter backers from higher tiers.

(Yeah yeah, it's probably the writers themselves having named these folks, I'm making a federal issue from it.)

---

Page 88

Cool perspective

---

Page 89

Pfffff, Vriska's having the time of her life. She's just having fun, since she doesn't really concern herself with consequences.

Vrissy has a better handle of the impact of what just happened.

---

Page 90

... Yup, that's about the jumping to conclusions I was expecting.

Yeesh, Jane is actually as dense as Jake in a lot of critical ways. She's very good at convincing herself of the truth of something. Like here, how she still loved Gamzee, and how Tavros loved him too.

It seems like the conflict on Earth C pivots around Jane's policies. But I don't see how she can be made aware of all her shortsightedness and prejudice, at this point.

---

Page 91

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF. Okay I wasn't expecting this to happen.

But it's an actual freaking callback to the beginnings of the story, and Act 6 Act 1, hahah.

---

Page 92

... Harry is sitting on the bleachers.

Hah, he thinks this is the prank the other teens were pulling on him, just setting off the fire alarm. Thinks he has it all figured out.

---

Page 94

Best reaction image. Ever. Hahahahah.

He was like:

8) |8) :o

---

Page 95

Hah! And even a carapacian expression! (Alternatively, Pickle Inspector.) He's inherited that one from his mother's side, no doubt.

---

Shenanigans. Best shenanigans.

So, where does this take place in regard with John's make-up conversation with Roxy, anyway? My gut says before, but my brain is thinking: how would that even work. Harry'd have to be a karma Houdini. Which would actually be fitting, since magic / sleight of hand runs on both sides of his family.

I'm in love with all of these walking teenage disasters already.

[wordslikeradiation-blog]

I've been kind of hesitant to talk about this, but something happened the other day. I've got two places I do offerings. The altar in my room and this specific place on a counter at work. I originally did offerings just at work. I've got access to an espresso machine and a lot of flavorings, so it made things really easy. At the time we had this little ceramic platter on the counter that wasn't in use, so I'd make my morning drink, pour some of it into another cup, and offer it on the platter.

A few days ago I was prepping some stuff at our deli case. It had been a couple hours after I set the offering out. I turn towards the fridge, grab some things. As I'm turning back towards the deli, out of the corner of my eye, I see this dude standing right by the counter, facing the offering.

My immediate reaction is to say "WHAT THE FUCK" and turn all the way towards this person, but they're gone when I fully look.

I just stood there. Confused. It took a second for me to think that it might have been Loki checking out the offering. Then I tried to disprove that thought (really trying to practice discernment lol). He was tall. Not skinny but definitely thin. Lithe, maybe? Dressed kind of in a Victorian gothic outfit. Not really over the top, but the sleeve of the shirt-thing he was wearing had embroidery and those metal studs you see on some Victorian goth jackets. And he had WILD long black hair. The dude's volume game was on max. Lol

So I stood there going "Alright, the coffee machine right there is black, but it's not tall enough for what I saw? And why was it so detailed? I normally only see vague images when my brain plays tricks on me?"

And I was kind of stuck on why he had black hair. I know he's a shape shifter, but it still surprised me. I'd been imagining him with red hair and the standard old Norse outfits.

So I *think* I saw him. Not completely 100%. I did a tarot yes/no thing and got a resounding yes, but I know people say those aren't always accurate. Idk. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[the-gongoozler]

First watch-through: Anne with an E, episode 18

- Let’s fricken do THIS

- You lost your ribbon, Anne!

- I didn’t really think about it, but I guess you can ride a pregnant horse.

- Billie and Josie, Ruby and Gilbert, etc. 

- Say hi Gilly boy

- Don’t marry Moody, marry Jerry. Damnit.

- I love Ruby, but god I hope that Gilbert makes it clear he’s not interested some time soon.

- We love some representation in this house.

- I love my baby and her great school paper.

- I hope that these directions given by the Native American girl aren’t insensitive.

- Billy and Josie are so groooooss. I feel bad for Jane, chaperoning. 

- I’m glad that Anne found them. It’s sweet.

- I really like this representation and really hope that it’s accurate.

- I like that she gets her braids back with the added native touch. It’s very sweat and friendly.

- I love that they love her hair too.

- I hope this isn’t a one-off. I want to know more about native people from that time.

- Marilla, what the fuck is up with the “heathen” shit?

- Is Josie going to introduce a take notice board? Anne and Gilbert should be on the board.

- SEBASTIAN HAS A BABY”

- He’s adorable but he sounds so ridiculous. 

- OH MY GOD, GILBERT KISSED THE BABY i love them both and i will die for them

- Diana’s outfits haven’t changed at all over the years.

- Jesus. The board. And Ruby. Is there going to be a great scene with Ruby and Anne?? 

- Moody is kinda cute.

- ANNE, YOU ARE TALKING TO GILBERT. And Gilbert is totally missing the point and I love it.

- He thinks you’re talking about you Anne, and I love it.

- Damnit, Anne. You should have just let him misunderstand you.

- Gilbert looked so disappointed and it broke my heart.

- He looked so excited and romantic because of YOU, Anne.

- Jerry is reading aloud and I love it. He’s also cute too.

- I like that they’re reading Frankenstein, a book by a woman.

- Diana is better at reading aloud now!

- Gilbert is too cute. I love the jaw clench.

- I’m sorry, what the fuck is up with Gilbert’s hair??

- I love that the teacher took her aside and asked if she was okay. She’s a good teacher, not one going for money.

- Marilla is a grandma!!!

- Wait, so Anne is over at the Blythe house a lot?

- Diana looks super cute in her blue.

- Yes, play loudly my Dearest, Diana. (comma in the middle of a phrase lol)

- Bash? Outside in the winter?

- Everyone’s writing take notices. Very sweet. Where is Gilbert’s?

- He looked at your lips, Anne. Immediately. 

- Omg, Gilbert was so confused and cute.

- At least he knows he’s into her now.

- They have to be fucking with her. They totally did something for her birthday. 

- Marilla is giggling. I adore it. WHAT DID THEY GET HER

- Also, the puffed sleeve dress!

- And the cakeeeeeeeeee! So cute, Matthew. “No one had better try.” Gonna kick their ass?

- They took her decorating tips to heart for the cake!

- A charm bracelet! So cute! And the hat is lovely, Matthew.

- With Gilbert! So cute! Yes! Road trip!

- Anne, reassure your family!

- Diana is running. Why? She looks bomb without her bow.

- JERRY AND DIANA! They are so cute. And he is SO bad at keeping a secret.

- Mini Mae is a great lady.

- I like that Josie Pye lightened up.

- Oooh, yes. We love this strong Tilly energy. Use your two boys.

- Josie is playing along! Too cute. And good for Mini Mae, choosing Anne’s cake.

- Gilbert AND Cole? God, my boys... 

- She would never leave you, Marilla. Anne loves you.