#outdoorsy person over here. can u imagine

[etargus]

𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣 𝙨𝙮𝙢𝙗𝙤𝙡𝙨! ✿: my muse and nature — by @mercurywitch

archer likes nature the way a plant likes the sun. their stone needs sunlight to recharge— it's their primary energy source. without any contact to the sun, they'd be asleep similarly to their hundred year nap, and would only awaken after laying in the light for a while.

they need the sun for energy, but they love and enjoy every other aspect of nature, as well. they like to sit in a meadow and feel the warmth of it on a hot summer day, or the wet dew on a chilly morning. they like smelling rain in the air and taste fresh snow. it somehow connects to their humanity— archer is a comet, and their home is the sky, the nothingness around diana. but their own nature, their own self, loves the planet below, the nature that it inhabits, the one that can't be found in space. they were made on diana, and they deeply connect to this other home of theirs.

somewhat related, they get nervous if they're cooped up for too long. sometimes that can't be avoided due to their disabilities and their need to rest, but they prefer being outside. if they're stuck inside, they get anxious and upset.

[ducknotinarow]

2007 Summer - All Symbol Headcanons please uwu  

| Send me a symbol and I will write a headcanon about…  For multimuse blogs, please specify!

Summer's turn, I'm working on a redesign of her so expect that in the next five to ten. Summer an oc type I haven't made in a while purely a child for two characters I love XD Since shes oc here a fun fact on how I go about her. I sort of take from IDWS Casey (ironic considering her bio father is also Hun now pft) and Boom studios Raph to shape her personality so she would still stand out on her own but have their traits in a sense.

𝓕 : My muse’s handwriting. (Is it good, bad, difficult to decipher, do they prefer writing by hand or with the help of some form of machine, e.t.c.) 

"Nope 'hats parta my name gotta 'ave it"

Not sure what the bigger surprise is here that summer's hand writing can be read or that shes a somewhat decent speller. so it's pretty easy to decipher what she spells and such. Summer write larges though matching her her more out going personality with a space space between them because she prefers to have company of others around her. Funny considering her Dad's but maybe not also for this reason Summer dose not like being alone. The small loops she sometimes uses over rounded or pointed ends also is to say she is close to a few selected people considering her family this very well. The hockey stick I feel is self explained Summer got hockey fever from Casey she will never be cured uwu

Why did I start making these personality analysis off hand writing now? I felt it game me more to say for these sections haha

✈ : My muse and  traveling. (If they do it frequently and why, if they never left their home town, e.t.c.)

"I only really been 'round I guess? why go anywhere else 'his the best state afta all..an' I ain't ever steppin' a foot in Jersey." Summers no where near as well traveled as Raphael or even Casey I feel shes only been around New York. From going around herself to being with her Dad's or other family members. Not to mention traveling to play against other schools as well. Northampton may be the furthest since her Dad's will take here there for family trips even inviting everyone along. But Summer will not go to Jersey her New York blood forbids it u-u

✿ : My muse and nature. (If they are an ‘outdoorsy type’, like the sound of bird’s singing, if they have never set foot in a forest, e.t.c.) 

"I 'ike to help out when he go campin' an' such. I mostly love winter though dad's shoulda named me Winter. Cause the lakes freeze up and we, all three of us, can go out an' jus' do stuff. Like playing hockey! even if Dad more aims to tackle pop's to the ground." Summer loves the outdoors, when they do go out to the farm house she is never inside even with her being a city kid she loves getting to climb the tress, she loves going to the docks with Raph or Ariel as well. But as mention she kind of favors winter for the simply fact all three of them can hang out since Raph's able to walk around a bit more sure he will year round but Winter draws less attention his way.

☼ : My muse’s first memory. (Where it was, who was with them, how this memory makes them feel, e.t.c.) 

"hmmm let me 'hink a sec, uhhh oh! my first live hockey game! Pops even gotta tag along with Dad an' I!" Summer was doomed from the start to become a puck head nah I kid. It's well known how much Casey love hockey and how big a fan of it he even is. Casey is the reason Raph loves it even though not a puck head himself since Raph likes all sports about the same I feel. Summer has taken after Casey a lot in making hockey more than a thing she watches. Casey insited she had to see a live game and it was easy to bring Raph along though I can't imagine Casey wanting Raph to miss out of that moment either. Hockey has for sure become a thing the three of them share a love for however. I can just see them going all out for the games to points they have full hockey related talks between them that it feels like they are speaking a whole other language. That apartment is roaring with life during game nights for sure.

Summers memory of her first live game is special for these reasons, getitng to be with her dad's seeing a hockey game in person I like to think she managed to catch a hockey puck thrown by who would become her favorite player of all time. She still has the Jersey from then now its just used to collect signatures from the players she wants to frame it once it filled up.

☙ : My muse’s favourite food. (Bonus: A memory, be it good or bad, associated with said food.)

"anything Aun'ie Von or Mikey makes cause..may dad's can' cook."

Anything edible with favor that is brunt u-u look Casey and Raph try their best somehow Casey fended for himself for years and I'm sure Raph had to help in the kitchen here and there and not just licking bowls clean. But they can not cook with out burning it to some point. Summer best meals are anything Mikey or Von make because it's not burnt and Summer didn't know food could not be burned u-u but if I was to give her a favorite food for sure? I feel shes so true to her love of hockey she would say hotdogs from conssesions stands specifically. All-beef hot dogs are topped with a homemade onion relish, sauerkraut, and brown mustard because New York. She'll settle for street carts to though.

♬ : My muse and music. (What type of music they like listening to and in what context, what music they would never listen to, e.t.c.)

"I love music! I 'ike rock n roll mostly but I also like Rap, Metal, Hardcore, Punk. I kinda of 'ike pop music as well. I sort 'ike country too"

Summer love music she learned her Dad's both knew how play and wanted to learn to play as well where they both play a guitar Summer prefers the bass her self. Which requires a different set of skill and knowledge to play. She just prefers the lower octave that comes from the sound of it. And to Summer it makes sense since her Dad's play the guitar she should play the bass. Summer love trying to play her favorite songs to practice it's maybe the only time this girl sits still and isn't causing trouble and something she is near as dedicated about as she is Hockey. Once she has a computer she uses it to download sheet music.

Summer also likes to play out songs from the little mermaid for her sister Ariel it's kind of how she learned to play when she first got her guitar, likely because she has heard those songs so many times it made it sort of easy to work with.

Summer of course geners are based of her Dad's own like but she likes pop music herself and has a guilty pleasure for country music. She sort of just likes music in general. Shes not much for classical but she can still appreciate it. Music has become something of any outlet for her, depending on her mood there is just always something that fits right. If shes feeling sad she likes to listen to somber songs, when she practicing hockey she prefer rock and such. I wouldn't claim she is a good singing but she can at least carry a tune. She has a radio strapped to her bike when she rides it she will sign to the songs uncaring if anyone listening.

When she was a baby Raph used to slightly sing to her in that deep raspy voice of his and it always calmed her down or helped her drift to sleep. Summer as a young kid could still get Raph to do it of course he feels a tad embarrassed when others are around but summer don't care she wants to hear him sing. Of course, this doesn't change even as she becomes a teen and some she will still ask if shes really low and down and Raph just gives in every time.

Summer also love to make covers of songs and change their genre taking pop songs and making them into rock ballads ect. Of course this is all instrumental.

Her all time favorite is Joan Jet and kind of sets her style Bad Reputation being her favorite song.

↺ : My muse and the past. (Do they live in the past and struggle to let go of past grievances, or move on more easily, is there anything in their past they want to forget, e.t.c.) 

"..I used ta not care 'bout my past but..Cause I didn' know 'bout so I guess 'm figurin' 'hat out." Before Summer didn't care about where she came from or who was behind her birth. Not many adopted kids do worry about this in contrast to my other adoptee oc Nina who did it's because Summer always had one home and one set of parents and a whole family even to turn to. So she never had that insincerity in her life to Summer they gave her up and she got a family thanks to it. Soon though Summer would learn who those people were she dosne't know who Gabs is herself but she knows who Hun is and that rocked her and will be something she struggles with for a time even going so far as to dye her hair the same shade as Casey's. Sure she will worry that Casey and Raph will hate her now because of where she came from. Of course this is just a childish fear that gets sorted out because Raph and Casey have made it clear they see Summer as their own kid.

To summer if your good and turn bad you can be good again and same goes the other way around. If you were bad turn good you can be bad again. Much like Raph she feels the whole lepard's don't change their spots. It's why she can understand here family reservations about Bishop but why she didn't hold Mikey's betrayal against him. Which has extended to herself if she feels this is ture then that must mean she is bad too because she come from a bad person. Learning Casey isn't any different of course, does help Summer try and learn her lesson on the mater. But it is still hard for her to get over the fact of her being related to Hun. It extends to her not wanting to meet Gabs either. Which may be cold on Summers part (I personally don't think it is I feel kids have a right on if they want a parent in their life or not, from personal experience.)

☾ : My muse and sleep. (How much they sleep, how much they wish to sleep, if there is something that never fails to put them to sleep, e.t.c.) 

"hmm 'ike sleep good cause ya get tried but sleepin' means I don' getta do things."

Lets just say Summer sometimes sacrifices sleep to stay up watching movies or videos all night long that she sends to Ariel mostly the cursed annoying or weird cryptic stuff

✧ : My muse and art. (If they have an artistic side or not and why, favourite artist if they have one, e.t.c.) 

" 'ike drawin'? not my 'hing much."

When it comes to Art music is for sure summers art outlet. As I mentioned before she loves it and even plays and listens to just about a little of everything. She surprisingly pretty serious about it she knows cords and notes she can read sheet music and even has been learning to write her own. Shes not much for lyrics her self but she can come up with a tone and mood pretty easily. It's also how she connects to how she feeling when she has no idea how to handle what she is going through.

❃ : My muse and social media. (If the muse is/would be on social media and why/why not, their general opinion on it, e.t.c.) 

"Oh yeah course I use it, 'm mean who ain't on social media?"

Summer I feel has a tumblr but she dosen't personally use it she only got it to follow her sister and send her stupid annoying anon on asks but Ariel knows it her. Worse when she shows Ariel the ask shes gonna send to make sure it makes sense. She isn't much into tumble herself it's not much here scene. She is on twitter a lot mostly to follow news on hockey and her favorite players. Often she live tweets during games or shes retweeting Ariels cover song post so people can see how talented her sister is.

Summer also has Instagram she has two accounts a private one for her own photos its mostly for her self mikey at least I can say follows it he would have it when he gets older. If any other family has one she lets them follow. its mostly just family pictures her and her Dad's mostly sometimes she sneaks pictures of Casey and Raph being gross and cute together. Or it her and Ariel selfies decorated with a ton of stickers and such.

she also has a public account that she uses for music posting when reels got introduced. And sometimes with do live streams when she wants to show something she wrote herself. She takes lifestyle photos as well for her public account at the rink or around the city even sometimes.

I feel she has snap chat but its only used with her team mates.

✉  : My muse and others. (If they social and outgoing or more introverted, and why. If they prefer communicating with others face to face or in written form, e.t.c.). 

"well not many people get me I guess?"

Summer, has a history of dealing with bullying for a short time as a kid. Because well she was wired, she was passionate about hockey and turtles she didn't act like the other girls in her classes. She didn't want to just swing or chase the boys on the playground she wanted to play like ninja and such but the boys thought it was weird and wouldn't play with her either. Often she teased and called turtle girl, kids even starting to make rumors that she ate turtle eggs down at the beach. Summer tried to get along with them she really did but she never wanted to give up the things she likes because her family never thought anything wrong of her but maybe something was wrong with her. She kept the bullying mostly to herself only really telling her sister about it because she just couldn't understand why they were so cruel to her. The bully did start to get physical having rocks thrown at her one day at school so of course it came to the attention of school staff meaning dad now knew and she was in pure panic over her dad's learning about it.

Summer dose get move to another school after some time, a new school new kids and such, of course it meant she was the new kid she did try to lay low hoping to avoid the same issues happening again. Her new school having a hockey team it was boys only but because of this she was allowed to try out and she made it being the first girl on the team. Which did wonders for social life if anything it just reaffirmed her love for hockey her team mates were pretty cool and the following year more girls started to try out to join the team as well.

Summer is very outgoing she loves meeting new people and holds no fear in starting conversations with them. Coming from a block where everyone knows each others mad her a social butterfly growing up around mutants leaves her with out much fear on non humans creatures as well. She doesn't have a lot of friends but she is friendly and people like her enough often they get intimated by her more rough and tumble self but those who get past it she shes just kind of a dumb harmless idiot. With a temper issue cause she will get into fights Casey showed her how to hit the best with a hockey stick after all.

▶ : My muse and level of education. (If the muse has some form of education, what education they perhaps wish they had, e.t.c.). 

"blaaah I hate school."

Summer is a human girl in America meaning she has to go to school. She dose go through the required education levels getting her high school degree of course and despite my jokes about it Summer dose in fact go to community college at least. she earns a bachelor's degree because Summer wants to make sure she can get a decent job. Something that can assure she will have it for a long time so she isn't job hunting. Because she needs to be able to take care of her Dad's when they become old men. uwu

She gets it in music actually and winds up becoming a music teach well doubling as the coach for the school hockey team because she wanted to have both things she loves.

◐ : My muse and animals. (If they like animals and treat them well, do not care for them at all, e.t.c.). 

"Be werid if I didn' 'ike animals? I mean I got turtles in my family?"

Summer isn't like most who likes cats or dogs ect she likes things likes Rats, reptiles and to Raph's dislike bugs. She of course loves Cat's and dogs still shes just more for the other animals, often as a kid she used to put bugs in her pockets and refer to them as he babies and yes Ra[h freaked out every time a bug crawled over him when picking her up.

❒ : My muse and gifts. (If they are good/bad at finding gifts, good/bad at receiving gifts, good/bad at wrapping gifts, e.t.c.) 

"I'm the best at gittin' presents." I feel Summer would be a pretty good gift giver in truth in that she will not give up on getting that perfect gift for someone often second hand bought or a lucky find on her end. But damn it she's not giving up till she gets her hands on it.

☘ : My muse’s relation with their family. (If they speak with each other and how much, if they are close or estranged, e.t.c.). 

"I jus' wanna be worth the family 'hat found me an' took me in"

Summer loves her family theres no doubt about it she binds herself to it however she can. And sort of puts to much pressure on herself because of it she just wants to make them proud of her she wants to right by them. She doesn't so much life for herself as she try to more be there for them. There is no real reason behind this on her end more subconscious if anything. It's most notable with her family life. Summer sort of takes up a nurturing role towards her Dad's I've shown this a bit in that Summer will openly snatch Raph's cigerates away from him and put them out. When Summer's around them least as a teen I feel she will limit there drinking to at least two cans. Summer learned to cook from Mikey and Von and takes over cooking responsibilities from her dad who never should be in the kitchen. Reducing Casey to getting the shopping list at least. Oddly enough shes pretty good at planing out the week meals. If she goes to spend the weekend with her sister than she will make up extra food through the week to make sure her Dad's are fed when shes gone.

She sort of extends this towards her sister as well in anyway she can be part of something she will try, like how she over excitability hypes Ariels covers on twitter so to help draw attention her way. Summer I feel shows this best when it comes to Bishop where Summer maybe should be on the other side considering Bishop hurt her pops and even Casey has a dislike towards them because of what happened to Raph as well she support Ariel even telling her it was okay she was happy about Leo seeming to have feelings for Bishop. Summer is very close to Ariel sure they are cousins but she has never not refereed to her as her sister. Even seeing Donatello as a third dad and Von as her mother. They are just near about on the same level as her Dads of course she she is obviously closest to them.

Von is of course her go to for girl problems even if she grossed out by this stuff and wish she didn't have to do it. Von also is someone she can turn to when she just needs advice because they share things in common she sort of took on a trait from Raph that she likes to hide out with her aunt when she needs to just get away because her aunts kind of outside of things herself so it give her a space in a sense.

Don i haven't really explored their relationship but as a baby summer had a habit of taking Raph's mask off she sort of used his green eye as way to know he was there, often she try the same if casey wore his hockey mask. Summer was very fussy as a baby so only a few were allowed to hold her and Don was one of those few often because he has green in his own eyes. Summer has just seen him as like another dad in her mind someone she can turn to when Casey and raph aren't around she find him calming to be around. Despite her destructive behavior she dose know to behave in his lab and around anything he's working on. She has no clue half of what he says but he holds her attetion in a way most don't sometimes she recall something he said and it helps her in her class, im pretty sure she asks him for help with school pretty often because it only make sense when uncle Donnie explains it over her stupid mean teachers uwu

I made a remark on Mikey's but i' expand here I feel Summer it sort of like Mikey in that she is has a lot of empathy in her for others. And I feel this is something she and Mikey connect on because of it. It's often why she so more concerned for others around her and tends to over look herself even why the mess with Hun being her biological sperm donor hurts her because how dose that effect her Dad over herself. It's why she can understand what Mikey did and why she never lashed out like her sister dose. Mikeys kind of who she turns to when she just needs to talk to a non-parent filling in a more older sibling role for Summer. She sometimes even refers to him as being her older sib here and there and Mikey sometimes plays along with it mostly to annoy raph and Casey.

Splinter is grandpa she loves him and behaves for him the best. He was sort of her first teacher and I feel she often looks back on his lessons confused and not sure she follows his advise all that well it's very summer interrupted. On subject of granparents she is also close to her Grandma on Casey side. I feel like she spent a lot of time around the women and shape her personality in maybe the worse way of not giving much of a shit. She will take her death pretty hard because she was very close to the women its almost hard to understand she can die even if thats dumb.

When it comes to her Dad she of course is close to them both and share many of both their traits even forcing herself to talk like them when she was just a kid. but she is closer to Casey somethign Raph points out when stating she looks up to him which is why. Everyone has thier heros and Summer's is Casey. She's well aware he meant to be scary to some but summer sees nothing but her soft marshmellow dad that she can get away with murder with (Raph isn't any different and summer dose take advantage of this with both) Summer just wants to be like Casey shes wants to be someone others count on and can relie on she wants to be able to do that for others as well. She dosen't need a flashy life just one surrounded by her loved ones with the abilty to take care of them. Casey is someone she just never wants to disspoint so she often too hard on herself because she sort of set her Dad on a pedstool

[slothgiirl]

maybe together we can get somewhere (noah x mc)

the gang finds out noah is alive. he and mc have built a life together while no one was paying attention (12k)

this was fun and experimental to write, trying to build a relationship through the limitations of the gang only getting snippets of noah and mc and hopefully giving enough information to piece together a plot without being to expository. hope u enjoy (noah x mc are soulmates change my mind)

Stacy.

It's a family vacation. Only the second one after her college graduation since she's only living an hour from Westchester.

It's her mom and dad and Connor and his girlfriend and her girlfriend.

Sofi laughs easily, fitting right in at some story Connor is telling and Stacy’s still annoyed that her brother brought up what she and her friends had found in the woods as children when they were at the airport: when anyone could have heard. She doesn't want to deal with it ever again. And she'll get up and move across the country if she has to.

Connor catches her gaze and offers a small smile and just like that; Stacy let's it go.

“Oh a farmers market,” her mom cries out, “we should check it out!”

Her dad laughs, “alright but don't expect me to eat any frankenstein fruit.”

Stacy snorts, finding Vancouver both amazing, and like any other city she's been to. Canada is hardly an exotic travel destination, but it's nice, waking up to a view of the pacific ocean. She wonders if she should visit her old friend since she's in town.

She'd last talked to you on the phone a month ago, surely she could just drop in.

Sofi slides her hand into Stacy’s, before asking, “what are you thinking about?” It's the first time Sofia's really spent time with her family. And her girlfriend knows about her tendency to overthink and now is one of those times.

Stacy's sighs, “just-I have a friend who lives in Vancouver. I was wondering whether I should visit them or not.”

Her girlfriend smiles, leading them into a stall with lots of fruit samples, “You should! If they're your friend I bet they'd be really happy to see you.”

Stacy shrugs. “Yeah, I guess you're right. It's not like I'm going to be in Vancouver again anytime soon.”

She grabs a second sample of the blood oranges, before telling Stacy as she decides to get a few for the road, “so who is this friend?” Because Sofi doesn't know about the whole Redfield thing and she'll never know because Stacy doesn't want to burden her with Redfield and also doesn't want to talk about it herself. It's over: in the past. Finished.

“One of my childhood friends like Lucas. There was this whole group of us,” Stacy explains.

“Like Dan,” Sofi nods, understanding. “Do you guys still talk?”

“Yeah.”

“Then you should totally drop by! Personally, I could skip the biking tour.”

Stacy laughs, “my parents really just got us all the types of tour.” It was nice, how much things had changed and the boat tour had been fun even if she’d gotten pretty cold over those two hours, it had just been the perfect excuse to snuggle up with Sofi and a cup of warm coffee inside. Connor and Vy could be outdoorsy together, taking millions of photos of the water and skyline.

“It’s cute,” Sofi comments, “my dad would just grumble about the expense and lead his own tour, no doubt getting us all lost.”

Stacy shrugs, “that’s why we have google maps.”

Sofi laughs, and pays for her oranges.

Stacy’s tired of the crowded stall, so she steps outside to wait. Canadians may be polite, but there’s only so many people brushing past her she can take. She takes out her phone and asks Lily for your address because of course Lily has it; she had sent everyone care packages and birthday presents without fail. Stacy had just sent an electronic gift card and called it a day.

There’s a good crowd but this isn't a sad little farmers market like the one back home that has like nothing but a stall or two.

She finds that she does miss the small town feel of the city she lives in even if she has to drive everywhere and living close to her family is nice even if she’ll forever hate the woods, any woods. Andy and tom had confirmed nothing was out in Westchester but she won’t chance it.

It’s second nature to go through her emails while she’s on her phone.

She scans the crowd, seeing if she spots her family somewhere. And sure enough Connor and Vy are sniffing at some tea samples, looking disgustingly sweet together and Stacy makes sure to take a picture because she went with Connor and Tom to pick out the ring. He just has to pop the question.

Wait! Was she or Sofi going to ask the question? Oh god, Stacy wanted to marry this girl. It hits her like a ton of bricks and they’re only 23, been dating two years so they have time, but Stacy’s sure. This is the one.

The panic subsides as she realizes, yeah, this is the woman she wants to spend the rest of her life with and that’s no big deal. They’ll take it day by day.

She locks her phone, glances around, ready to go get Sofi who probably struck up a whole conversation with the vendors and is getting invited over to their house for dinner as Stacy stands out here, waiting, and sees. . .well not Noah Marshall because he’s dead. So that’s not possible. And it’s not like she’s in Westchester.

But-but it certainly looks like Noah at a glance.

She can’t actually make out the man’s features, just the back of his head, which wow-Stace, she might just be losing it if she’s starting to see Noah Marshall walking around, but there’s something about the way the man walks and the shade of hair even if the haircut has changed. . .she shakes her head.

She’s imagining things.

“Ready to go,” Sofi asks, putting her hand on Stacy’s arm, “Your mom texted, she said to meet in front of Whole Foods wherever that is. Also, hilarious that there’s a farmers market in front of Whole foods.”

Stacy snorts, nodding, “yeah, let’s go.” And then looks back because it’s been five years and she still wants to kick Noah’s ass even though he’s dead so it’s a non issue at this point.

The man’s gone.

*

Stacy soon forgets among trying to keep up with the itinerary that her family had made on google docs over the past few months.

*

They take a ferry in the general direction of the address Lily gave her because it’s a fun way to travel. Connor comes along but Vy stays behind in the hotel because she wants to call her parents.

“Did they go to school here,” Connor asks, because it had been a few years and he hadn’t really kept in touch with you the way Stacy and the others had.

“No,” Stacy explains as she double checks the address while Sofi points out cute houses as they walk down the street google maps is saying the house is on. “They went to UWash. I think they studied something boring like finance which I know Ava made fun of them in the group chat about.”

Sofi, a current law student, asks, “what’s wrong with finance?”

Connor snorts, “you’re talking about the same woman that helped organize supplies for her campus’ black lives matter protests.”

“Ava’s very anti-establishment,” Stacy explains because Sofi hasn’t met Ava. Her old friend had transferred to Berkeley before Stacy started dating Sofi, but not before showing everyone her minor magical abilities. “You know, the whole break up the banks, give native americans their land back, will definitely end up a granola anthropology professor in some university after her goth phase.”

Sofi nods, “Ah, I get it. She’s not wrong about the banks. Did you watch the big short?”

“You have the most boring taste in movies,” Stacy teases because this woman made her watch Dunkirk which was long and boring and the soundtrack gave her a headache.

Her girlfriend shrugs shamelessly, “I did do a film studies minor so. . .”

Stacy knocks on the door. “I hope they’re in.” It’s a cute if small house on the edge of the city, close enough to still be part of Vancouver without being in the middle of traffic. There’s a subway station just two streets over, but taking the ferry had been much nicer. Subways had lost their charm in new york after all the times Stacy had been an hour or two late because of some issue.

“Wait,” Connor asks, raising a brow, “you didn’t text them?”

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” Stacy admits. She hadn’t seen you in over two years. You had even less of a reason to be in Westchester compared to everyone who’s family still lived there. Your house had sat empty since you left for college.

“I think it's cute,” Sofi says, wrapping her arms around Stacy’s waist from behind.

Stacy smiles, blushing slightly.

The door opens up and holy fuck.

Stacy gasps, her mouth forming a wide O because she can’t even form a coherent thought.

A very much alive and happy Noah Marshall opens the door, wearing a pink apron that says something inane “kiss the cook”, with more than a bit of food stains, and flour on his chin. He’s not wearing a beanie, but it’s summer and Stacy is sweating even in shorts, and his hair is cut and styled instead of long and greasy like it had been in high school. His eye color has somehow changed from brown to a strange shiny blue that seems too catlike to be natural but that’s whatever when he’s apparently risen from the dead.

What the hell!

Connor is just as flabbergasted as she is.

And Noah’s caught off guard, the easy smile dying on his lips as he realizes who’s at the door.

It’s Sofi that spares them, asking Noah if you’re home, because she doesn’t know anything about what went down in your senior year of high school.

Noah nods wordlessly, “yeah, yeah, come in,” even though he looks like that's the last thing he wants to do looking as grim faced as he had been in school, sitting in the back and refusing to talk to anyone.

For once, Stacy wishes Sofi wasn't here because she wants nothing more than to kick Noah’s ass. She took kickboxing lessons, she totally could. Noah's taller, but not exactly built in the same way Andy is after all the years of exercise; though he's not exactly a scrawny teenager anymore.

How long has this been going on?

You're sitting at the kitchen table, a cheap flimsy thing from Ikea that at least has the decency to look nice, laptop open while wearing a moth-eaten oversized t-shirt of the beastie boys. You don't even look up, when you ask nonchalantly, “so who was at the door?” You reach a hand from another chip, eating straight from the bag.

“Stacy,” Noah says faux cheerfully. And Stacy did not miss how annoying he could be. “And Connor Green.”

You finally look up. A couple thousand emotions running through your face: surprise as you open your lips to speak and then close it without a word, your brow furrows as you frown, then you exchange glances with Noah, then you're blushing red as you meet Stacy's questioning gaze, caught red handed. After a second, you can't meet her gaze, instead looking at Connor the same way you had that year as if he could single handedly save you from everything and no wonder you asked him to the dance, oblivious to Stacy's crush on you at the time.

“Hey Connor, long time no see,” you get up, crossing the length of the small kitchen to hug him, “Andy's always going on about you, you know.”  

Connor manages a smile, “it's good to see you, too.”

“Hi, I'm Sofi,” she says, extending a hand, “Stacy’s told me a lot about you.”

You shake her hand, inviting her to down sit, “all of you. Dinner’salmost ready.” You glance at Stacy asking. . .

She shakes her head. Of course she hasn't mentioned Noah. She's tried to erase him from her memories the same way she's tried to forget all about the ruins in the woods and Dan disappearing.

“Not that you helped,” Noah quips, proceeding to slip back into the kitchen.

“Self care.” You smile back, confirming her suspicion that this had been going on for a while. And you haven't mentioned anything. Not once. But then, you stopped bringing him up when you realized everyone was on the same page, the page you weren't, after what he had done, no amount of childhood tragedy could excuse the fact he had been willing to kill all his friends for some monster. Stacy couldn't find it in her to forgive him, even in death.

Meanwhile, you had spent too much time after everything that happened crying over this jerk.

“What are you making,” Sofi asks as Stacy takes a seat, everything clicking together as you offer everyone something to drink, exchanging lovesick smiles with Noah even as he bats you away from the stove with a spatula.

You loved him.

Despite everything he had done, you loved him. Stacy couldn't understand: had been closer to Dan and you than Noah even as kids. The way you looked at him said everything; the way you'd chased after him, unwilling to let him go into the woods alone.

It made sense why you were so willing to forgive him, and why you had spent so much time mourning him.

“Vegetable pot pie,” Noah explains, starting to roll out the dough, “This one decided to become vegetarian.”

“Since when,” Connor asks, deciding to just go along with it all. Maybe Connor was just mentally stronger, better able to cope with all the supernatural weirdness having helped Tom out at the lake, and still trying to understand the power from all of Pritch’s journals.

“Just a few months ago,” you admit. “It was this whole vegan challenge at work for the month but I missed yogurt a lot but giving up meat was pretty easy.”

“Where are you working now,” Stacy asks, taking a seat carefully, making sure not to turn her back on Noah.

“Oh,” you smile, closing your computer, resting your chin against your hand, “UBC, at the anthropology museum. It's why I-we moved here. I do financial analysis for their investments. Ava found it really funny that I got a job at a museum before her.”

“Oh,” Stacy wonders, glancing at Noah again, who's just as tense if the line of his shoulders is anything to go by, and the telling line of his mouth that reminds Stacy of the first and last time she tried to include him: a APUSH presentation that Noah had waved off and preferred to bomb. “You told Ava?”

She feels the sting of hurt but Ava makes the most sense considering you were closest to her and Lily. Not to mention Ava was still messing around with the occult. A heavy lead ball of anxiety always forms whenever Ava has shown Stacy her magic tricks.

You get the double meaning.

Noah pointedly ignores her, carrying a conversation about the best places to eat in the city with Sofi.

You force yourself to smile, “about the job yeah. Thought she'd laugh since she's the anthropologist. She called it the encroachment of late stage capitalism.”

“That sounds about right for Ava,” Stacy snorts.

You'd chosen Noah over her: over your friends. The choice had already been made before Stacy had even known this was an option.

You two were a packaged deal.

Stacy takes a deep breath, and turns her back on Noah, joining the light conversation of local things to do in Vancouver and how you had completely face planted while trying to ice skate.

“-and instead of helping me,” you tease, getting plates out for everyone, “Noah just sat back and laughed!”

“And took a video,” Noah points out. “You don't have any balance babe.”

“I wouldn't do you like that,” you wrinkle your nose, smiling fondly as Noah brings the food out of the oven, the smell filling the small house and suddenly Stacy’s mouth is watering.

“You have,” he replies all mock offended, “you left me in the cab!”

“I was very drunk,” you shrug shamelessly, then turn to Sofi and Connor with an explanation. “Too much fun on  date night.”

“Shut up,” Noah utters, placing the food on the table, looking incredibly soft and it finally sinks in. He's alive. He's alive and you're together and while Stacy doesn't care for him, she's glad you're doing well.

She's still going to punch him the first chance she gets.

The food’s some of the best she's ever had.

*

She hugs you goodbye two hours later: a great big tight hug that says everything she hasn't been able to because of distance. She puts all her love and tenderness into hugging you. “It was so good seeing you,” Stacy says and means it. One day they'll talk about this.

But not now.

She's dragging Sofi into this.

You nod, hugging her back just as tight, before whispering in softly into her ear, “please don't tell anyone.”

And how could she refuse, with your sweet chocolate eyes looking at her like that, as if she holds everything you hold dear in her hands. It's easy for Stacy to make the choice to look away and say nothing.

*

*

*

Lily.

Britney makes them take a hundred selfies before they even leave the airport. Lily beams at the camera even as she pays for starbucks. “Aw man we should've tried tim hortons now that we're officially in Canada.” Lily muses, shooting you a text, letting you know she'd soon be out of the airport.

“But do they have peppermint frappuccinos,” Britney asks, leading the way as they head to the exit. Airports were always so big. It took forever to get anywhere.

“I'm not big on peppermint,” Lily comments even though Britney already knows that, before taking a long sip of her pink drink. She really had been craving a drink. That was another thing about planes: dehydration. Still, it would be worth it to visit you for the first time since you moved to Canada.

“I know,” Britney winks, “that's just more peppermint bark for me.”

*

Britney's the one that spots you first. Lily's taller than you, but still pretty short. “Your loser friends over there.” Britney teases and it shows how far she and Lily have come that they're able to laugh about the time wasted in high school where she bullied other kids including Lily.

Lily follows on her heels, fixing her coat to try and look cute. It had only been a three hour plane ride but it was three hours plus dealing with airport security so it felt closer to three years. Gosh it had almost been three years since she graduated college. Time just flew by.

Excitement bubbles up and Lily’s smiling hard when she sees you in an olive green jacket and grey hoodie combo, still the same as ever if happier now that you weren't stressing about school.

She had meant to visit you sooner but being an adult meant things often got in the way.

Then Lily spots Noah Marshall hovering behind you, laughing at something you just said , face lit up like a kid who's just been told they can finally dig into their Halloween candy. Except it can't be Noah because he's dead. Yet here he is, wearing a black coat, washout blue hoodie, and of course a beanie. If Jocelyn was here, she'd say he looks like an asshole wearing aviators indoors.

Removing any doubt of who he is, Lily having already come up with a reasonable explanation of you having coped with Noah's death by finding a lookalike, dies when he spots Britney and Lily before you. “Lily,” Noah grins as if he didn't die after trying to kill her, “you looked like someone kicked your puppy.”

You smack his shoulder. “Behave,” you tease as you try and smother a gasp. You meet her gaze sheepishly, but Lily's still too flabbergasted to respond.

“Aren't you supposed to be dead,” Britney asks.

He deadpans, “Mandela effect.”

This time, you dissolve into laughter.

Noah glances over at you with a smile, pleased with himself.

Lily finally manages, “explain.”

You nod, “let's get you settled in first.”

Britney hands her bag to Noah, “here. I need to carry Lily's bag.”

“Sure thing,” Noah snorts, taking her bag.

*

Lily had imagined Canada to be much more green. Like a national park green, with so much plant life she could smell it thick in the air, but it's pretty much just another downtown metropolitan area like Seattle. You'd really only moved a few hours away from Seattle so that made sense.

She keeps glancing over at Noah as if he'll disappear and this is some trick from whatever thing still lived in Westchester. But he's still there, flesh and blood, his arm draped around your shoulder as they stand by where she and Britney have taken a seat, bags under their feet. They had only brought carry on bags.

You're obviously together but Lily keeps getting stuck on the fact that Noah's alive.

She isn't surprised. Noah only ever had time for you that year; both of you slinking off when you thought no one was paying attention. Lily remembers seeing you hug Noah in some lonely corner of the school if you didn't skip fifth period math.

And Connor had said he'd seen you both out in town during school hours.

Maybe it's the glasses.

Noah won't be alive to her until she sees his entire face, leaving no room for error.

“Can't believe you're moving to Seattle!” You repeat because yeah Lily had gotten a nice job offer there.

“Neither can I,” Britney complains, “I like SF, and I'd like to live somewhere warm one day. Aren't there any major tech firms in Miami?”

“Nasa,” Lily says thoughtfully, “I didn't have the experience to apply though.”

Her girlfriend frowns, “You went to Berkeley though. That has to count for like ten years.”

Lily laughs.

“You should've shot your shot,” you agree.

“Isn't Florida super humid though,” Noah mentions tilting his head, reminding Lily that he's there and she can't help but flinch. “And there's tons of snakes and agitators everywhere.”

“I like snakes,” Britney notes.

He had been so sweet those last few weeks, Lily thinks to herself. Noah was always saying how she was much stronger because she could be kind even as everything was going to hell. In english, she'd burst into tears, sick and tired of having nightmares just to wake up to a living nightmare, and he'd chased after her, comforting her.

It had made his betrayal hurt all the more.

*

“So how exactly are you,” Lily asks, dancing around the subject. Surely it was rude to bring up that Noah had been dead.

“Alive,” he replies, quirking his brow, holding Britney's bag as he opens the door.

“Yeah. . .that.”

This time, when you and Noah look at each other, there's no boundless joy that fits in perfectly with the holiday season. You've even put up snowmen in the house's windows, and there's lights wrapped around the porch: off right now. It's just you looking at Noah with glassy eyes and Noah with an amount of tenderness in his eyes that Lily didn't know people were capable of in real life: the look people get when they're finally able to confess how in love they are in movies.

It's only there for a second and then Noah's making light of the whole situation, as if he can't stand to see that haunted look in your eyes, “Well you know what they say, when you wish upon a star-”

You roll your eyes, lightly smacking his arm, then changing your mind and squeezing his arm. “Don't be a dick.” Then you round your attention on Lily, “there's the shoe rack.” Before ushering the group into the living room. “I-I didn't,” you take a deep breath, tugging your coat off as you take a seat on a cheap navy cotton couch. “I guess I never stopped looking for a way,” you glance at Noah, “for a way to fix things. I mean, I still went back there for all the school breaks.”

You've stopped looking at Lily, gaze locked on Noah's. Pink dusts his cheeks and he ducks his head, looking alway, out into the quiet street, skyscrapers in the distance.

Britney purses her lips, listening intently. She heard accounts of this nature from Jocelyn. Dan knee better than to tell her anything about the woods back home.

“And I found it,” you finish without elaboration. Lily understands. Some things were, there were some things too awful to speak once again into being.

He slips his hand into yours, threading your fingers together.

It's sweet and though Lily's reservations remain, it's clear he loves you.

“Okay then,” Britney claps together, knowing full well she was ruining the moment, “how soon can we go shopping. I'm doing all my christmas shopping in Canada.”

“Because of the exchange rate,” Noah sneers, not missing a beat.

“Hardly,” Britney snaps back, “I'm a certified trophy wife now.” She smiles as she looks over at Lily who giggles.

*

It's two in the morning and Lily keeps tossing and turning. It's warm with the heater chugging away in the night. But she can't sleep.

They'd spent the whole day out, exploring the city. You'd gotten a few days off work. Britney had made you both carry bags and bags of gifts as promised.

At least she'd have plenty of time to wrap them. December had only just begun.

But Lily can't sleep.

It isn't the nightmares of her childhood: of Jane and all the things she wishes she had said no to, or those terrible months in which Lily had nearly died from sheer terror, but a pool of anxiety masquerading as restlessness.

She gets up, having visited you before back in Seattle, back when you had shared an apartment with Ava and a revolving door of roommates during college, and wonders if Ava knows. Ava, who messes around in the more supernatural corners of the world, who you had always been closest too.

Lily gets up and decides maybe a glass of water will calm her down as she chews over the idea of Noah and her both under the same roof.

She slips into the dark kitchen, with that weird anxiety that she was sneaking around that she could never shake even knowing that you wouldn't mind her going through your kitchen. She slips into the kitchen and nearly faints at the sight of Noah at the table.

He's sitting in pitch dark.

Only it isn't-

“-your eyes,” Lily hisses, breaking the calm of the twilight hours.

Noah's sitting in the dark reading.

Because his eyes are glowing blue like redfield when she was little and redfield was a friend and hadn't shown it's true nature.

Noah's eyes are glowing.

“Shit,” Noah says gently, reaching up to flip the lights on.

He moves slowly, but Lily still flinches.

“I'm sorry Lils,” he says, those three words encompassing so many years and the darkest parts of her life, casting a shadow over her whole life she can never escape because Westchester is home but it's also where it happened and Noah's a big part of why Lily spent a year having panic attacks: having flashbacks to that awful game. He says it and the last itchy scab over the deep wound Lily has harbored for years flakes off.

Lily does a little nod of acceptance, but keeps her eyes on his unnaturally reflective eyes, a light in the dark.

She swallows thickly.

That glass of water sounds amazing right about now.

“What are you doing reading in the dark,” she asks. It seems Noah had been right all those years ago; Lily was able to keep trying, a flower growing in a crack of cement.

“Studying,” Noah says calmly. “It's pretty boring actually. Sort of makes me wish I was still haunting the woods.” His smile is small, testing the waters.

Lily-she can't. She shits her eyes, shaking her head once, slow.

“Sorry,” he says easily, shutting a thick textbook, “coping mechanism.”

Lily thinks about all those nights she'd wake up in the middle of a nightmare, “is it a glitch then?” She tilts her head curiously, the way she spent hours going over the same file of code checking for any bugs: and mistakes that had slipped through the cracks.

“You could call it that. . .but they reckon that it's more of a give and take situation.” He fiddles with the sleeve of his shirt. “The power takes people but gives them power, and when, when they brought me back, I took something with me.”

For once, dread doesn't fill Lily at the mention of what lies in the woods back home.

Lily nods, and pours herself a glass of water. “What are you studying?”

“Psychology,” Noah answer's, “trying to do developmental psychology. I want to,” he waits a beat before finishing in a rush. “I'd like to be a child therapist.”

“I thought you wanted to go to culinary school,” Lily questions. She remembers you mentioning that once. Then there's the fact that Noah had brought her lunch to school a few times when he'd learned that Lily's parents had forced her into a diet.

“I did,” he shrugs. “Turns out I like to cook for myself more than anything.”

Lily smiles.

She's glad he's able to move on like she has.

“You know I use to have nightmares. Nothing really helped apart from-.”

“Tiring myself out,” you both finish.

Noah smiles grimly.

Lily drinks he water and keeps him company for a while.

*

*

*

Lucas

Logically, Lucas knows that Canada is not that different from the states yet he still feel like the place should be more exotic as he steps off the plane for work. It's grueling work really, the pay is bad and he flies economy more than is healthy for his back, but he likes keeping private corporations on their toes. That was the whole point of environmental science, though going to law school for the same thing is starting to look more and more appealing everyday.

He just feels like he doesn't have the weight to truly go after these people and hates having to pass off the cases when he knows he could do more.

But law school is. . .stressful.

He'd have already started his third year of law if he had just gone straight to law school after undergrad.

Lucas wonders if he's ready to manage that type of stress.

He gets off the plane and has to go directly to the non-profits office. It's a tiny little thing in a rougher part of the city; gone are the shiny sports cars and whole foods.

There's boxes of paperwork dating back from the 60s and he gets to work, drinking the cheap donut shop coffee that the office head, an amicable black man who still has a rhythmic african accent that Lucas isn't worldly enough to place, gives him with a shrug, “got to support our local businesses eh?”

Lucas nods. “Tell me about it. I feel like I missed out on the New York that was happening.” Ava had sent him a buy back the block patch and he really hadn't been surprised because she had always been opinionated and headstrong about it. If she was the town witch, well then she was going to be the biggest baddest witch.

He types a reminder into his notes to get her a souvenir.

He uses yelp to find a cheap diner, where he continues to pour over a thick manila folder--have to break up the work--and finds that he can smell the ocean here even when he can't exactly see it.

Lucas sets a reminder to himself to go enjoy the beach at least once.

Then he sees the reminder to call and ask Stacy where you were living. Lucas half wanted it to be a surprise, but worried he'd miss you.

He knew you liked going out dancing. And he had arrived on a Friday night.

It was unorthodox.

He usually worked strictly in the states since each country had their own laws and environmental precedent established by the courts. And alright, Lucas’ phone had a lot of law school tabs open. He was only twenty four. That wasn't too old for law school.

Weren't some students in legally blonde in their thirties?

Experience could give him an edge.

Lucas calls Stacy but it goes straight to voice mail.

Right, time difference.

He'd have to wait until tomorrow.

Having not exchanged any money as of yet, Lucas pays for his breakfast for dinner with his card and hopes the fee isn't too bad. Then he stuffs the folders and decides to walk to his hotel.

It's an hour long walk through town but years of being incredibly stressed had left him with the purposeful choice of slowing down when he could. Sometimes it felt like forcing himself to slow down, but he always felt better after a walk through a new city or sitting down with a fictional book even when he swore he didn't feel all wound up.

As far as cheap diners, tonight's was good and he had fun trying poutine.

Lucas walks through the tall buildings and wishes he hadn't worn a suit jacket. He should've worn a plain shirt or one of those gag gifts Andy was always sending him from various thrift stores. It might be further up north than even he grew up, but it was still hot in the summer.

Walking an hour in a casual suit was not his greatest idea, but the city carried the same vibrant energy the new york had. The energy that had encouraged Lucas to go to a house party--once.

He's walking by a street full of dive bars all blaring out nostalgic hits from his teenage years from Hannah Montana, which okay, to Kesha which sounded about right, and of course, Blackpink. The chalkboards outside all promise cheap drinks but Lucas isn't a big drinker.

He isn't sure how much of that is avoiding any substance that could get him hooked or if he's making that choice because he really doesn't like alcohol.

Lucas is just about through, about to by a monolithic building that has a bunch of displays in the windows, when he does a double take.

Noah fucking Marshall is smoking on the curb outside a bar, face flushed.

There's no doubt about it. Lucas would know that asshole anywhere. The same sharp jawline and prominent nose, brown hair curling around his ears only a few inches showered than it had in high school. He's wearing dark jeans and a black leather jacket over a white shirt and looking way too happy for a murderer.

Noah Marshall wearing aviators at night like the rat bastard he is!

The intense feelings of rage and wanting to hit something until the world righted itself surges in Lucas’ chest until there's a white hot anger in his throat and red clouding his vision.

He blacks out.

One second he's furiously gapping at the man-

the next

-Lucas is standing over Noah Marshall, knuckles on fire having just sucker punched the fucker.

Oh shit.

Noah looks just as surprised for a second as he looks up, blood beading up where his lips split open.

Lucas watches as recognition hits those bambi blue eyes---wait, blue.. .?

And then Noah shrugs, the ghost of a smile forming on his lips as he states, “yeah. I deserved that.”

There's a couple people looking over.

Lucas is still pissed as Noah gets up, dusting himself off and looking at the barely smoked cigarette on the ground as if he wants to smoke it, before grabbing the glasses and placing them back on instead.

Then, he grabs another cigarette, “want one,” he offers Lucas who no, wouldn't want one: wouldn't want anything from Noah if he was drowning and Noah had the only life jacket.

He was good with drowning.

Thanks.

Lucas, anger still fizzing under his skin like boiling water, asks, “how the fuck are you here!”

Noah shrugs, before slurring and it's then that Lucas realizes the other man is flushed drunk, “I live here,” without an ounce of sarcasm.

“You know exactly what I mean,” Lucas says, curling his lip and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Oh you know me. I'm just plotting world domination and decided Vancouver would be the perfect location for my evil villain lair. I've got a neon sign and everything.”

Lucas rolls his eyes, grinding his teeth together. “Do you always have to be such an asshole?”

Noah spreads his hands out and proceeds to do jazz hands, before taking a drag of his cigarette.

Fuck, Lucas feels like punching him again.

He's really thinking about it as he watches Noah, sure the idiot will try something again, when he hears your voice as you stumble out of the bar, “I knew it! You were going out for a smoke break!”

Noah's entire demeanor shifts, no longer the boy Lucas has built up in his head as the cause of all their problems. Over the years, he's decided that Noah had known from the start. In the depths of his denial, Lucas had told himself that Noah had kidnapped Dan. But, you appear, and Noah's turns bright pink as he hurried to stomp out the cigarette you've already seen like a naughty school boy, even as he turns and smiles as if you hung the sun in the sky and painted the night stars. It's lovesick the way you both look at each other with the fondness of ancient couples out for a walk in the park, lost in their own world.

However the fuck he's alive, Lucas realizes that this Noah, the real living Noah, has been just as freaked as the rest of them. It's something he hasn't thought about in years.

Noah had lost Jane.

It's enough for Lucas to unclench his hands even if he's still seething because what the hell, he still offered them all up on a silver platter. Redfield or Jane--whatever it was in the end--had given Ava powers and she hadn't stabbed your group of friends in the back.

You cross the distance quickly, and throw your arms around his middle, tipsy. That's probably why your smile is so pure-untouched by all the trauma and boring adult problems like remembering to pay the bills and having to call the cable company for the fifth time.

You don't even notice Lucas.

“What happened to your face,” you ask, raising your hand to cup Noah's cheek, frowning.

Noah nods over at Lucas.

You finally notice him.

“Lucas,” you wag your finger at him, still cuddled up to the man in question, “You can't punch Noah. Do you know how much trouble I went through to get him back?”

It shouldn't be possible, but Noah turns pinker.

“Aw babe,” Noah teases you with a familiarity that carries depth.

This wasn't a new development then.

“You really do care about me.”

This time, you round on Noah, wagging your finger menacingly, “Don’t be an idiot! Of course I love you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me!”

Which has Lucas majorly side eyeing you.

Sure, Noah had grown up to be tall and not unattractive, as far as pasty white boys were concerned, but he'd still tried to kill everyone.

Noah also looks skeptical.

“What are you doing in town Lucas,” you then ask.

“Work,” Lucas replies blandly, as he tries to come to terms with this reality altering discovery. “You were dead.”

“That's not entirely true,” Noah muses philosophically, “Physically I was dead but technically I was still roaming the woods as a monster.”

Reflexively, you interject, resting your hand on his chest, “you're not a monster.”

“I thought you liked the shape of water.”

Which sends you squealing. “Noah!”

Lucas doesn't get it. You are the strongest person he knows who can talk to anyone and has a sense of determination that rivals a gold medalist: the one who kept everyone together during one of the shiftiest times in his life, and he's who you settle for! “If you have to say technically, you've already lost the argument.”

You snort.

Noah rolls his eyes good naturedly.

“Wait,” you realize, eyes going wide, “does that mean you're younger than me now.”

Noah tilts his head in thought, “physically. . .”

“Pretty sure that means yes,” Lucas adds, wondering how long Noah had been back for.

“Oh my god, I'm stealing from the cradle!”

Noah looks incredibly affronted as he blinks rapid looking down at you like you'd grown a second head.

“You mean cradle robbing?”

“I'm. . .twenty four,” Noah says. Not even he sounds convinced.

“Twenty two,” you correct archly. Then look at Lucas with a friendly smile, “you want to go get pho?”

“Right now!” Lucas checks his watch. It was already midnight. He should've been at his hotel room sleeping by now.

You nod.

Noah elaborates, “it's pricey but the broth hits different. They have some pretty good view of the city too.”

Two years. Noah had been back for two years and you never said anything.

Lucas can put up with Noah for a few hours to spend time with you. After all, you were the one who was putting up with him for life apparently.

“Should we let-,” you begging to ask, amusement dancing in your eyes, city lights reflected in the dark brown hue that had a quality of depth that made it easy to open up to you.

“Nah,” Noah smirks, “Sheer chatted some dude up, they won't even realize-”

“Rahul will though.”

“Psst, it's fine.”

You've both built a life here, far removed from any traces of Westchester. Maybe that's where he had gone wrong. Lucas had been so desperate to escape he's never found a place of his own, and still haunted by his one and only home: a place he wants nothing to do with. He needed to make a new home.

Law school wasn't sounding too shabby.

*

Noah leads the way.

*

A lightbulb turns on.

“What's with your eyes?” Lucas asks.

Noah chuckles, “sometimes you fall into a vat of radioactive waste because that's just the type of luck you have.”

You shake your head, amused. “Side effect. It's nothing serious. We checked.”

That doesn't comfort Lucas at all.

He wonders if Connor or Tom could fix that just to be sure Noah wouldn't suddenly go Redfield on you while you were sleeping.

Ugh, that was one mental image he didn't need.

“So what terrible horrifying government secret are you here investigating and does it have to do with a company hiding vats of radioactive waste,” you ask.

Lucas takes the bait.

He could and has talked people's ears off about the loose regulations on place on waste disposal among an array of industries.

*

*

*

Andy, Dan, Tom

This all starts with two things as far as Tom is concerned. First, they've all been talking for ages about doing a guys road trip after everyone still around Westchester had driven down to visit Ava. Not that the girls weren't fun, Tom thought to himself, but it just sounded nice.

He never had a sleepover growing up so this would make up for that. At least that was the idea.

Then Lucas called Andy freaking out about Noah Marshall and Connor could only nod and go, “yeah he was with them about a year. . almost two since we visited. I think it's already been two years.”

Which was a total mindfuck because why hadn't he mentioned anything.

Why hadn't Stacy?

Tom’s done some research into necromancy and it never ends well which is why they pile into Dan’s prius and hit the road to Vancouver Canada. Sans Connor because Vy is pregnant and Connor is glued to her side. “I think they were dating,” he also adds, bookmarking some cases around New Orleans that scream supernatural activity. That throws everyone for another mind loop as he clues the Pine Springs gang who wasn't there that senior year, why Noah Marshall shouldn't be alive, much less freely walking around. The only person who takes the news relatively well is Dan, who scratches his chin thoughtfully before saying, “that makes sense,” he nods to himself.

Andy rounds on him, ready to kick Noah's ass on sight which Tom will totally back him up on. Tom still can't handle spiders for which Danni and Jocelyn continue to tease him about.

“How in the fuck does that make sense,” Andy seeths, “that motherfucker landed you in a coma! I broke my leg and had to repeat senior year!”

Dan adds, “well you know, they spoke about how tragic his death was. And they used to have nightmares of him dying-”

They all turn to look at Dan.

“What,” Andy says, “when did they tell you that?”

Dan shrugs, “well they were always coming over that year and making a point to spend time with everyone but I always thought they looked sad and thinking about them alone on the edge of town,” he trails off. He’d never brought up your parents absence, but it was clearly felt. “So I went over to theirs when I could,” Dan finishes.

Andy shakes his head, “no. I don’t know what or how, but people don’t just come back from the dead and everything's sunshine and roses,” he crosses his arms against his chest and fumes across the entire state of New York.

Tom has to agree with Andy. There’s nothing in their research to suggest that people can just come back okay. Everything taken by the power ended up twisted into a funhouse version; it never ended well.

They stretch their legs in Cleveland, Andy still scowling. Every now and then he’ll rant about how Noah has to be up to something and he has to go save you from dying. Tom doesn’t bring it up, prefering to let Andy work through it now and wrap his head around Noah Marshall being alive on the car ride up to Canada, but Connor had said Noah’s been back for at least two years--wouldn’t he already have done something? He thinks of you and how you had been alone with Noah at the end. Maybe you had kept some things to yourself.

It was hard to relive trauma aloud.

It made it more real.

Tom sends Imogen a few snaps in Toledo as Andy blasts The White Stripes, to fit his mood.

He wishes Parker had been able to get the days off. Having someone at a distance from the situation might help everyone keep their cool. He knows he won’t stop Andy from beating Noah’s ass.

Dan picks up postcards in Chicago for everyone, as they sit by the famous Bean eating pizza.

“I can’t tell if this is better or if I’m fucking starving,” Andy admits, on his third slice.

Dan snorts, looking up from his lap where he’s writing out the postcards, wanting to send them quickly, “so they make it back before we do.”

Tom takes a walk around the plaza, thinking that fall really was the best weather, cold enough for a sweater without being too freezing and the sun didn’t burn.

They don’t stop in Wisconsin or Minnesota except for gas and Mcdonalds.

Andy sleeps as Tom takes over the driving.

Dan’ll be up next.

“Please play something other than Beach House,” Tom complains at Dan, “this is going to make me fall asleep.”

Dan chuckles, “Its good night driving music.”

“No Dan,” Tom shakes his head with a smile

The sun rises, and Tom gets to sleep.

He wakes up in Rapid City, South Dakota and they have to recreate that awful Hilary Clinton, “just chilling in Rapid City,” Andy says mockingly.

Dan almost chokes on his coffee.

Montana is so fucking beautiful and Tom’s seized with the sudden urge to come live out here. “We could totally do it,” he tells the other men, “it’s cheap out here. We could buy a huge piece of land and never have to deal with any bullshit again. Our friend group could do it. Danni’s really handy and Lily could set us up with wifi!”

“Bro,” Andy says gravely, “you know I love you, but I’m not moving to Montana with you.”

Dam smiles softly, “Danni would have a field day taking pictures here.”

Montana is beautiful and green and none of the nature here has that heavy feeling the woods in Westchester do, but they’re tired and exhausted from being on the road for the last two days. They crash at a motel 8 and sleep for the next twelve hours.

*

They ask this beautiful woman who's wearing birks and has a tote bag emblazoned “love your mother” with a planet earth painted on, to take a picture of them in front of Pike Place Market. Dan has her number before Tom’s done sending the pictures to his Pine Springs groupchat, teasing Parker about having stayed behind to yell at teenagers smoking weed while driving boats around the lake: accidents waiting to happen.

Tom has never been to Seattle.

He knows most of his friends from Westchester have  to visit you or Ava, and he's grown close to Ava, but at the time he was more of a friend of a friend and so never flew up to Seattle.

“Is it lame I'm still tired,” Andy asks, as they find a park to sit down at. It felt so good to be able to lay in the grass instead of sitting cramped up in the car.

“Age is starting to hit us.” Dan muses. “Either of you want to come get some things with me.”

His friend snorts, “Haven't you gotten enough gifts for everyone?” Which, yeah, Dan has been accumulating a small horde of souvenirs in the back for all his friends. He's a thoughtful guy. Tom’s not surprised the man’s a nurse. If he'd had Dan as a nurse when he was a kid, he might not completely hated going to the doctors office.

“I was kinda thinking about getting something from every state,” Dan says, blushing red as he rubs the back of his neck.

“I think it's sweet,” Tom says, clasping a hand on the other man's back. “Cheesy, but sweet.”

Andy shakes his head, “we should've gotten there by now. If only we hadn't stopped in Montana-”

“Noah's not going anywhere,” Dan points out, “you can kick his ass tonight or tomorrow.”

“They know we’re coming,” Andy scowls, “He could be halfway around the world by now.”

“Just remember Lucas already sucker punched him,” Tom offers his friend as consolation.

Dan shakes his head a little, but stays silent. Tom hasn't been able to get Dan’s feelings on the whole situation. He can’t imagine him being completely ambivalent or cool with Noah getting off scot free, but then again, Tom doesn’t know every little detail.

No one talks about it in detail even in their little power club that Connor and him started up.

He gets it.

It’s not something anyone wants to linger on.

And he understands better than most.

His monster was different, but no less horrifying.

“I’ll go with you,” Tom offers Dan, because this is a new city and even though the point is to go see what's up with Noah, and make sure he isn’t still the shadow monster he was the last time Tom saw him, he still wants to make the most of it.

“Two hours,” Andy says with a warning. “Two hours or I leave you in Seattle.”

“Sure, sure,” Tom shakes his head. Andy would never do them like that.

“If you’re coming we should go to the space needle,” Dan says thoughtfully, taking out his phone to begin google mapping the places he wants to hit up.

“Two hours!” Andy calls back from where he’s watching a couple people play basketball.

*

Tom discovers he has a thing about heights as they ascend via an elevator. It’s a slow day and the elevator operator talks him through it, telling him all sorts of bad puns and more information about the space needle then he can remember. “Sarah Palin came by the other day,” the woman who looks to be about their age with green ringlets and a friendly smile that doesn’t seem to be forced like most customer service workers smile (smile through the pain), “and she said she could see Alaska from here! Get it?”

Tom tries to smile, but yeah, he’s never doing this again. “Did you see the masked singer with Sarah Palin?”

The girl nods, “how the mighty have fallen. You think there's an alternate universe where she was vice president and insead Joe Biden’s on Dancing with the Stars?”

Tom’s laugh dies in his throat as the elevator jolts to a stop. It certainly feels like a huge jolt, but that may be his anxiety making everything elven times worse.

“Well thank you for riding air force two,” she salutes as Tom finally steps into the platform.

Sweet, sweet relief.

He sort of has to go take a picture or two off the viewing platform. He’s made it this far.

“She was totally into you,” Dan says, stepping in to take Tom’s mind off things.

“Was not.”

“Totally was.”

Tom rolls his eyes, “she was just being nice.”

“Sure man, sure. But she was.”

*

They arrive even later than Andy had predicted. It’s midnight and proof that they had dallied in Seattle for two long. This is the first time Dan has ever left the country so of course they stop and take pictures.

And then they stop and eat at the cute little cabin lodge just off the highway.

And even Andy forgets about the Noah business.

They pull into the street, disappearing from the city in the turn onto the street. It’s crazy how much of a difference a street can make. A little quiet row of houses tucked under the twinkling lights of the city lights.

Your house is a small one story thing, clearly an older home from before cookie cutter houses came into fashion, and with a certain amount of charm even with the dead plant by the doorstep: closer to a cottage than a house like something out of Snow White. There’s even a ouija board doormat that Tom thinks is completely in line with your humor and probably Noah’s as well. He just doesn’t remember much about Noah when he was alive. Last time Tom saw Noah, Noah was saying sorry to the birds. People could change.

Right?

It’s not like Noah had gone all Zodiac Killer on his friends.

The lights are off and Tom feels kind of bad that he’s about to wake you up, but he also really wants to crash in an actual bed.

Dan knocks on your door as Andy paces behind Tom.

A minute later, you peak your head out the door. Your navy blue sweater is cuffed around your hands, clearly meant for someone taller, helping to stave off the autumn chill, and grey flannel pajama pants. You rub your eyes with the back of your hand as you yawn. “You’re here,” you smile and hug Dan with one arm, “do you need any help with the bags.”

“The bags can wait until tomorrow,” Dan answers for the group, “I just want to sleep in a real bed.”

You snort, “don’t actually have a guest room,” you admit, keeping your voice down as you usher them all inside, “but I do have a pretty comfortable pull out couch and way too many quilts. I have to stop going to Victoria Island.”

Andy looks around, tense.

Tom’s a little surprised when you hug him too. “Want any food? There’s a ton of leftovers. Noah’s been stress baking. He has a bunch of exams this week.,” you say with such casualness.

“We already ate,” Dan offers, “there was this cool looking log cabin that sold me on pumpkin spice muffins.”

“Where is Noah,” Andy asks, cutting right to the quick.

You look at him pointedly as you explain, “he went to sleep early. He’s got school at like 7 am. I have no clue why. . .college was all about afternoon classes for me.”

Andy wisely, let’s it go for the moment.

You show them where things are, the couch is already extended. The TV’s sitting on a pile of textbooks with a nintendo switch right next to it.

Tom is out before his head hits the pillow.

*

They wake up and eat the promised leftovers as you rush to find the spare key to leave with your friends before you too have to go to work. “I would've asked for the day off like I did for the rest of the week,” you hastily explain, filling the electric kettle with water, “but it was Maureen’s birthday and I would’ve felt like such a dickhead.”

You make Dan promise to come look through the Museum you work at before it closes, and then you’re running off with a tumbler full of tea, putting a hand through your hair as if that’ll save it from looking like a mess. Tom’s unsurprised at your easy nature when they’re all imposing, making no secret of the real reason they had driven all the way to the other coast of North America.

Andy conducts a walkthrough of the house, leaving the sole bedroom of the house alone.

Dan shakes his head, flipping through the TV channels, before logging onto your netflix account, the most recent show having been played was Avatar the Last Airbender. “Anything you want to watch?”

“The good place,” Tom offers, “everyone’s always saying it's good.”

Dan shrugs. “I wouldn’t know. I don’t have netflix.”

Andy comes back with a picture frame clutched in his hand, “He’s such a dick!” Red seeping into his neck as he fumes.

Tom looks over at the picture, but it’s just a photo any normal couple would have hanging around their house: a blurry polaroid of you and Noah, each with a red solo cup at some house party, with the date, over a year ago, written on the border. He gets it, he does. And Andy’s his friend, so he nods.

Dan on the other hand, “okay. . .”

Andy disappears back down the hall. “I just don’t understand how they kept this from us! I mean-after what he did!”

Tom nods the same way he always had when his dad would start lecturing him in japanese even though his japanese is limited to whatever the japanese equivalent of Dora the explorer teaching spanish is.

“Probably so we wouldn’t freak out,” Dan offers, not looking away from the screen.

Andy marches back into the living room with a deep set frown, “Noah was fine offering us up to that monster and now they’re here playing house like nothing ever happened.” He sits down next to Tom, head in his hand. “I just don’t get it.”

He clasps a hand on Andy’s shoulder in comfort.

“Maybe they just wanted to forget as much as we did,” Dan notes quietly. “Some of us left and never really went back.” He’s talking about Lily and Lucas, who only visits during the holidays, then there’s Ava out in Arizona, busy doing field research and only going to Westchester in between jobs. Dan’s an hour away, a world away, near Stacy.

It’s really just Andy and Connor who stayed.

He’s in Pine Springs, a good hour to the west of Westchester.

“He died,” Andy grumbles out, “it could’ve easily been them, or any of us, or all of us. We’re lucky no one else did.”

Dan frowns, looking over at Andy, “I don’t like this anymore than you do. I’m not jazzed that Noah’s been back for years and we just found out. But I trust their judgement.”

“Necromancy is serious business,” Tom says, breaking the staring contest that’s started between the two friends.

*

Noah’s at least a little bit of a coward, as he saunters up to them, running a hand through his hair as he takes a seat at the table.

You had said this diner had the best malai kofta in the neighborhood.

He’s resting expression is still skewed towards sour, even as there’s other noticeable changes from the Noah Tom remember’s who’d kept to himself in school. His hair cut into a flattering undercut, clothes no longer on the angsty scruffy side but still decidedly casual as he opts for a dark palette, and of course, the blue eyes that seem to glow even in the afternoon light Lucas had mentioned in great detail. Noah’s clean shaven and lean, a backpack slung over his shoulder.

He only spares Tom a second’s glance before he focuses in on you, his lips quirk-ing up in a small smile. Sitting down, you lean forward expectantly as he plants a kiss on your cheek by way of greeting, before saying, “C’s make degrees right?”

“Mhm,” you nod, “but you did fine so it doesn’t matter. I ordered you the chicken and waffles. That’s what you usually get right?”

“Actually,” Noah starts, clearly about to tease you.

You shove his shoulder lightly, “beggars can’t be choosers.”

Dan extends an olive branch, “hey Noah.”

Which Andy immediately shoots down, “so it’s true.”

Tom’s only glad they’re already sitting and yeah, Noah’s a coward for meeting them in public, not that it had stopped Lucas from sucker punching him. It probably won’t stop Andy, only he’s sandwiched in between Dan and Tom and there’s no way Dan is getting up and out just so Andy can punch Noah. That’s not the kind of friend Dan is. Dan’ll take someone away to cool off, sprouting lines about being the bigger person, but Tom thinks that sometimes a punch is well earned.

Noah nods, sobering up, rating his arms on the table. “Yeah. It’s still. . . it’s still a trip nearly four years later.”

You cover his hand with yours, giving Noah’s hand a squeeze.

Now that they’re here with Noah, a burst of curiosity that’s been brewing in the back of Tom’s mind finally surges forward. “Do your eyes always glow? Or is it light a cat’s iridescence and that’s why you can read in the dark?”

“Gee, let me give you the paperwork the doctor diagnosed me with after I explained that my sister became a shadow monster and I came back to life. He was super nice and helpful about everything. We really don’t pay doctors enough.”

Andy rolls his eyes, “So are you still a monster or not.”

Noah frowns, before leading forward, gripping a glass of ice in hand pointedly, lifting it off the table, watching his own action with a sad fascination, “you can’t begin to imagine how nice it is to be solid again--to be more than a lingering ghost who can barely remember who it used to be.”

Which doesn’t answer the question but--

Some monsters were all too human for comfort. And some monstrous beings ended up friends and allies back in Pine Springs.

*

You and Dan walk up ahead arm in arm, chatting about everything from how cozy ll bean’s wool socks were to how you wanted to branch out and leave your job but it just couldn't be a bank, working in a cubical all day seemed like a death sentence. Dan fills you in on the news from back home and you both catch up as you walk at a leisurely pace back to your home.

Somehow, Noah manages to be patient as Tom rattles off question after question.

“Do you remember much?”

“What was it like coming back?”

“Can you do any magic thought,” he purses his lips in thought, “that doesn’t tell us much, since Ava’s out there levitating feathers.”

“Are any of your other senses better?”

“Do you have any other changes after coming back?”

“Can you speak to animals now?”

“Do you ever get a craving for human flesh?”

“Your limbs don’t fall off or anything? Right?”

“You have all your memories back?”

“Do you ever see any ghosts?”

“Can you see ghosts?”

Noah answers them patiently, if amused, as Andy skulks behind, clearly listening in on the conversation.

“How did they bring you back,” Tom finally asks, having spent countless nights researching necromancy. It had crept up in the Pine Spring’s society books, journals detail all sort of gorey accounts of their attempts to harness the power to gain power over the dead and living, but none of it had ever amounted to anything. At least in the best case.

One member had rotted away from the inside out, black mold blooming in his lungs, incurable as he choked to death after trying to raise a simple cat from the dead.

Noah tenses up, glancing over to where you’re laughing as Dan does a spot on Bernie impression about how it’s time to once again, “ask for a The man from U.N.C.L.E. sequel,” before meeting Tom’s gaze again. “You’ve formed a little club to keep the power away from people right?”

He nods, “I just-I don’t want more people to go through what we have,” he explains. They had to be proactive and learn so that no one else would stumble upon the power and exploit it to violent ends. Ava’s magic wasn’t derived from the power. Tom had double checked that. Ava’s magic was her own through her own sheer will.

But the power-that was something else entirely.

He swallows thickly.

Nothing had happened so far. And he couldn’t tell if their plan was working, or if they had gotten lucky. It had been a handful of years. But then, a decade had passed between Jane Marshall’s death and her awakening.

“And no one else ever will,” Noah says forlornly.

“Explain,” Andy says, walking up on Noah’s other side.

The man looks up at you, as you and Dan wait by the street corner for the rest of the group to catch up, and he shakes his head. “All you need to know is the power won’t be a problem again.”

*

Tom runs the problem over and over in his mind as they explore Vancouver and Andy continues to get digs in at Noah while Noah lets him.

*

He thinks about it as Andy makes everyone watch #Alive. And then Dan reminds them how obsessed everyone was with Inception when it came out. And Tom thinks about Noah’s words. And then you suggest watching something lighter: Zoolander.

*

Tom plays Noah’s words over in his head as he stares up at the ceiling, listening to Andy’s snores.

*

He puzzles over what Noah meant, why he didn’t want to bother you with it, as he drives back across the continent.

*

The power takes.

*

The power gives.

*

He gets it as they stop for gas in New York.

*

Oh, you really must love him.

*

*

*

Ava

Ava walks into Tom’s house out in Pine springs. It’s summer and she’s ready to spend the entire week swimming and continuing the search for a black lipstick that won’t stain. Fenty came pretty close.

There’s tons of cars in the driveway and she knows she’s the last one to get there; she always did like an entrance.

She tries the doorknob before knocking, hearing the laughter and conversation carry outside. The house is unlocked so she lets herself in; she likes to make entrances, guilty as charged, before following the sound of voices into the back porch overlooking the lake.

Tom had lucked out in buying this place during the summer the lady of the lake terrorized the town.

She’s frozen in shock when she sees Noah sitting with everyone like he hasn't been dead for over eight years. He’s sitting with an arm around you, beer in his other hand, talking with Lily, in a faded AC/DC shirt and dark jeans despite the heat.

Ava pinches herself to make sure she isn’t dreaming.

“Ava,” Lily cries, spotting her, “you’re here.”

“What the fuck!”

Realization dawns on your face as Noah looks over at the resident goth chick who’s withered into a refined goth woman, less fishnet and more victorian mourning shirts paired with flared black and white leggings, for the first time in eight years and seven months.

“Hey Ava,” he says, lifting his hand up in greeting from where it’s resting on your shoulder.

Your face heats up, as you look at Ava, realizing you’d never gotten around to telling her. Not when you’d visited her for Thanksgiving even though she refused to participate in a propaganda holiday that “perpetuates colonialism” or the time last year when you’d gone to support her big lecture at UMississipi. It had never seemed the right time and now the time to calmly explain was gone.

“Someone explain before I light him on fire,” Ava utters, feeling heat grow in her fingertips. It was easy after years of practice. She was toying with the idea of buying a house in Salem.

Noah doesn’t even flinch.

How could he, having grown up with Jane for a sister that had gone around filling people shoes with mud and shoving people into pools with a laugh. That girl had been fearless, and Ava has long thought if she’d been an inch more scared, you and Jane never would have gone into those ruins.

It almost warms Ava’s cold dead heart.

Ha.

If Ava had sometimes been the third wheel with you and Jane, then Noah had been the ugly duckling waiting for a scrap of attention because Jane shone bright, a sunflower soaking up light, thriving on attention. Maybe Noah hadn’t been all that bothered to let his sister take the lead as kids, even as he grumbled about the trouble they were sure to get into, but neither Marshall twin had cared about anyone’s attention more than yours.

Jane had always been a limpet, her hand in yours.

Ava had been too independent even at nine to always go along with Jane, or want a friend that close.

But you didn’t just go along with Jane, you encouraged her, and dragged Noah along when Jane got too caught up in her made up games to remember to play nice. Noah who even at nine seemed clued into the fact that you were hurt that your parents were never around, something that never occurred to Jane.

So she’s not surprised that Noah and you are a thing.

Figures.

You’d kissed more than one white boy that could vaguely pass for Noah if you had enough to drink in college even if you had only dated twice and neither had been Noah Marshall knockoffs.

It’s glaringly obvious in hindsight.

What she doesn’t get is how he’s alive.

And everyone’s just cool with it.

“I thought you already knew,” Dan says.

Lily looks at you, “didn’t you tell Ava first?”

You raise a brow, “I thought Lucas told everyone?”

Lucas shrugs, wearing a suit in the summer, “I did. I just figured Ava already knew”

Stacy sips her cocktail, “awkward.”

“Wow,” Noah jokes with a grin, “you guys are terrible friends.”

Andy almost chokes on his beer, sending Noah a look that would’ve made Medusa jealous.

Danni shakes her head, “too soon dude, too soon.”

Maybe she should move into Cora’s old house. That way she could keep up with her friends' news.

How the hell did she miss Noah coming back to life.

That was metal as fuck.

She and you would have words about keeping secrets.

“Just give me the strongest drink you can make,” she says with a shake of her head, taking a seat next to Imogen, the resident mixologist.

[impvlved]

––   f i n g e r s   d r a g   m o t o r   o i l   l i k e   p a i n t  .

                    “ ah, i mean, jeez... y’know.                        you sure you want a naked lady detailed                       on your hood ?  it’s just... ”  

a waste of a beautiful damned finish.

                                       “ what about a   d e c a l  , huh ?                                            'case y’change your mind ? ”

or, alternatively: meet teejay vanetten, local golden boy football star turned mechanic. 

( jack mulhern, werebear, he/him, & cismale ) is that ( fool in the rain ) by ( led zeppelin ) playing? guess ( tucker jeremiah ‘teejay’ vanetten )’s comin’ in hot! heard folks say the ( twenty ) year old ( mechanic ) was at the thanksgiving fair, ( winnin’ the love of his life one of those damned jumbo elephant squishy things, he swears, just as soon as he buys more tickets ‘cause this damned ring toss is a hell ton harder than playin’ football ever was ) when chaos ensued. during the glitch, ( he nearly lost his life in a werebear attack while tryin’ to get himself and his fiancee out from harm’s way ) .

b a c k g r o u n d .

teejay’s father, jeremiah, went to school with georgia duchannes’ mother, and was introduced to one of her close friends, katherine ( kay ), who would later become the love of his life.

in 1962, teejay was born. he was a bright, hazel-eyed baby boy who just couldn’t stop smiling. the vanettens would play the beatles and he’d bounce in his crib; they’d have living room dance parties before dinner. jeremiah and kay were the picture-perfect, most loving parents –– they cheered when teejay sipped from his first non-sippy cup. as a family, they share many laugh-so-hard-you-cry moments.

the vanettens are an outdoorsy family. they got teejay into camping and hiking very young, starting with setting up a tent and lanterns in their own back yard and progressing from there. teejay learned to whittle when he was six, and has continued the hobby ever since. ( he’s made georgia many a figurine. )

mr. vanetten owns vanetten auto, and mrs. vanetten worked as secretary to the mayor. growing up, teejay lived modestly but comfortably. teejay learned to change his first tire when he was in elementary school, and he was hooked –– throughout middle and high school, he’d bring his dad a soda after football practice and help him out at the auto shop.

local football sweetheart. teejay followed in dean hollis’s legacy, and as quarterback for the ferrets, people expected big things from this kid. he accepted a full-ride scholarship to play football for a D1 university and completed one year of studies there, before choosing to drop out and return home to help out his parents after his mom fell ill with a brain tumor.

for about a year, teejay has been home. his mother isn’t able to work any longer, so the vanetten household lives paycheck to paycheck, and teejay essentially runs the garage to allow his dad to take his mom in for treatments, etc. the prognosis isn’t good, but vanettens are hopeful people, and they’re prayin’ for a miracle. god works in mysterious ways.

around town, he can be found helping his neighbors garden, carry their groceries, etc. 

at the garage, he’s always playin’ zeppelin, queen, and hummin’ along. odds are, if you show up, he’s toe-tappin’ under the hood of someone’s vehicle with motor oil smeared all over the place.

his grandmother used to call him peter rabbit because his hair always flops in front of his eyes like peter’s ears.

goes by teejay but... it was supposed to be tj. in kindergarten, when the teachers asked kids to spell their names, tucker jeremiah just assumed it was spelled t-e-e-j-a-y because his parents never addressed him by his full name unless he got into trouble, and it looked right to him !   so that’s what he’s been goin’ by and spellin’ it like ever since.

he has that adorable southern drawl. that warm, lopsided smile. honestly folks, this here’s a heartthrob of a guy, ‘n he’s got no awareness of it.

he loves chocolate shakes and bacon burgers. corn nuts are a must. he does that thing at the drive-in where you get two popcorn bags ( one empty ) and toss all the m&ms and popcorn together like a salad.

not a coffee guy, so he drinks cokes for the caffeine.

t h e    f a i r .

teejay was getting slaughtered by the ring toss when the glitch broke out. he immediately searched the mayhem to find georgia, his fiancée, but once the two of them linked up and started their escape, they were attacked by a rogue werebear.

while finding his way to georgia, teejay pointed and helped as many people as he could to safety. he’s the definition of selfless, and his priorities were as follows: save georgia. save everyone else. 

he’s so heckin’ thankful his mother and father stayed home; they’d almost decided to go. imagine their horror when they heard the news...

teejay was unconscious at the clinic for about three days before coming to. he has nasty slash scars across his chest and ribs from the attack.

c u r r e n t l y .

strange things are happenin’. he can smell for miles. sometimes his own strength precludes him. he accidentally bent a tire iron in two. wha ?  he’s tryin’ not to make a fuss about it. everyone else has so much weighin’ on ‘em, the last thing teejay ever wants is to be a burden. but like. the wakin’ up in the woods with blood on his lips ?  he’s startin’ to think maybe that’s not just a night terror.

still runs the auto shop! and manages finances for the vanetten household. so he’s... run down. kinda stressed. you can see it in his eyes, in his smile. but lord, he’s tryin’.

a complete mama’s boy. and the thought of losin’ her? it’s killin’ him. her memory hasn’t been affected yet, but... the docs say it’ll soon see some changes. and god, he’s terrified.

drives a green ‘60 impala that he and his father pieced together and refinished with their own two hands. it’s his baby.

c u r r e n t    c o n n e c t i o n s .

fiancée – georgia duchannes. these two are letum falls’ token sweethearts, through and through. been best friends since birth, essentially, and even though they only started officially datin’ when they were 15, everyone knew they were devoted to one another long before. their engagement’s a quiet development, but ain’t nobody surprised, really. these two complement one another better than cinnamon sugar on a fairground pretzel. georgia’s assertiveness rounds out teejay’s people-pleasing. and jesus, they’re so in love. teejay’s only got eyes for his girl. he still makes heart eyes when anyone so much as mentions her, even now.

football teammate / dynamic duo – jesse torres.  on the field, these two were unstoppable. off the field, they’re inseparable. teejay and jesse made letum falls football history, and there wasn’t any doubt in anyone’s minds that they’d both go on to do amazing things. teejay accepted his full-ride scholarship, but jesse never got the chance. and now that teejay’s back and in a similar precarious situation with losin’ his mother soon? these two need one another more than ever. catch ‘em around town gettin’ into silly shenanigans, and being general doofuses. soft bros. we love.

reluctant ally / sleuther – lee holmes.  teejay meets lee when bez introduces ‘em, and reluctantly agrees to help him figure out what the hell is happenin’ to him. because he doesn’t wanna bother anyone else with it, and he trusts the holmes’, even if they are a lil... strange.

older brother figure / idol – dean hollis.  dean hollis left a legacy here in letum falls, and teejay has always aspired to be like him. he was so thrilled dean would be makin’ an appearance at the thanksgiving fair, and now that he’s decided to stay? ample brother-type bonding’ll ensue.

w a n t e d    c o n n e c t i o n s .

witch / warlock friend.  someone teejay knows might have magical aptitude, and might approach about curing his mother. maybe it’s not possible. maybe it is, but this individual doesn’t have the skillset quite ironed out. either way, he can’t exactly go on and ask it with no premise, so... they’ve bonded over the past few months as friends. and he’s still tryin’ to figure out how to ask for help ( one of his weaknesses ) .

someone who helps out at the garage.  teejay’s footin’ it all on his own lately, and the workload can be tough. maybe this person helps work on cars too, or maybe they’re more customer-facing. they help round out the workload so teejay isn’t pullin’ 24-hour shifts. because honestly, some days, it comes to that.

high school friends / squad.  since teejay’s back in town, i imagine folks he went to school with were keen on reconnecting. teejay was well-liked and popular in high school, yes because of football, but also because he’s just genuinely an openhearted person. these folks could be from all walks of life.

best girl friend(s). he turns to these gals for shenanigans, and also, like... huh. how does he word this? relationship advice? not that he doesn’t know what t’do but uh... sometimes the female perspective’s kinda nice.

beer buds.  life’s hard unless you’ve got a cold one in your hand, and a pal to help knock ‘em back.

one-sided flirtationship.  yo. he’s oblivious. how hilarious would it be if someone was like... very clearly flirty with him and he just? doesn’t even? see it?

anything under the sun ?  i... am so open ?  i love plots ? hit me with the angst. the fluff. the anything.

[hepivs-blog]

❝   zoë kravitz.  cisfemale.  she/her.   ❞   ━    𝕝𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕧𝕚𝕖𝕨  welcomes  alexandra palmer  with  open  arms.  the thirty two year  old  mechanic has  been  living  here  for  seventeen years,  give  or  take.  on  a  good  day,  they  seem  the  affable  &  tactile type,  but  their  sullen  & distant  tendencies  shine  through  when  there  are  no  taxis  into  the  city.

hey whats up jake paulers. ron here once again, bc i have poor impulse control and i just love too many ppl to only pick one fc at the end of the day yk. so here’s my second kid, alex. n honestly my big little lies ass is just head over heels w zoë so its a win win. anyway, here’s my gal

folks!!!!! *claps hands* ( im too into the kurtis conner intro im sorry ), this yee haw mf right here is alexandra katherine palmer and for the early fifteen years of her life she lived in tucson, arizona so u can say shes a certified yee yee cowgirl n all tha yk

family wise the girl hasn’t had a grand ol time yk, her mom died when she was four due to cystic fibrosis and boy did it take a TOLL on her family fr. honestly tbh alex’s dad loved her mother so much and made sure that alex grew up loving the memory of her mom as much as he did

so yeah, maybe out of a need to occupy alex’s time with activities that encouraged a healthier life for her or out of fear that alex had inherited her mom’s disease, the palmer papa made sure alex was always wrapped up in sports. swimming, cross country, basketball, nothing was too much for alexandra and she genuinely felt a deep connection w athletic activities. but the real winner out of all the modalities alex performed, the girl was an innate boxer

in fact, she became kind of a rising star. alex took up boxing at twelve years old and evolved quickly, her natural disposition and agility were a deadly match and three years later, alex was invited to join a professional boxing team in louisiana ( the reason why they came to lakeview ok )

ofc alex thrived and put a lot of wins under her belt, winning a few championships, even H O W E V E R, when alex was getting ready to go big and finally turning eighteen her dad, papa palmer, had a stroke :///

so she was left with a choice of closing her dad’s garage and going off to fight ppl everywhere professionally and leaving her dad to the care of nurses and the like, or staying w her dad and abandoning her dream of being the next million dollar baby

obvs you can tell which option she picked. bc of her childhood trauma of losing a parent, alex couldn’t envision a living where she didn’t stay and help out her dad. and though nowadays papa palmer is alive and well and kicking, the window of her success is already closed. but alex doesn’t resent her dad for it tbh, if she had to make the choice ten times over, she’d pick her dad

nowadays alex works in her family’s garage and makes a living as a mechanic but she ocasionally still pumps out a few punches. she’s also v protective of her father and couldn’t bear if anything ever happened to him tbh ( can u imagine that??? a good dad?? me neither )

her personality is v hot n cold tbh shes v matter of fact and doesn’t take any bullshit and at the same time shes v confident and extroverted bc of all the sports shes ever practiced and being good at them all yk it must b nice to not suck at coordination skills

yeehaw lesbian yk

has some trouble w relationships bc she always viewed her parents marriage as the be all end all of relationships and the fact that her dad hasn’t remarried and how he says his mother n him were soulmates rlly gets to alex n its sad cause she cant believe she’ll find that in her life thus making her a lil cynical

however v flirty n will offer to pay drinks for pretty girls

kind of a sweetheart but has a hard time showing that cause she hates feeling vulnerable or some dumb shit like that so yk dont invite her to watch sad movies cause she’ll cry n then punch u bc u made her watch it

loves to fish bc shes outdoorsy n annoying

abs for fuckin days

oh def a stoner my dude, she loves to fix cars n smoke n listen to some swift lauryn hill yk how it is

won’t ever admit she has feelings ok the way she’ll show she cares about u is asking you for ur netflix password cause she considers that a familial gesture idk either

conspiracy theories galore she swears she saw an ufo while farming when she was a teenager

has a weird sense of humor but she means well

her pinterest board

okay so i still have one more intro to write but if you’d like to plot w my beautiful but ocasionally aggressive gay pls hmu or yell into the void n i will come to u. thats it arigato n sayonara

[folkstudies]

College Personalities Masterpost

[This is supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, and I get that everyone will have a different opinion. No offense intended!]

***

Universities

Harvard: The Stanford of the East. They go to Harvard, sweaty :))), and will make sure you know it. Senator’s sons: brash, smart, and never loved enough as children. Marxists who will graduate only to become CEOs. High School Salutatorians.

Yale: Power gays and hyperfocused law students. Secret societies, a housing system like Hogwarts’s, and a fistful of adderall in every pocket. High School Valedictorians.

Dartmouth: Frat guys, athletic stoners, and upper middle class mountaineers. Imagine a Penn student who spends their summer semester at Brown, vaping their way through business school.

Penn: Future opioid abusing bankers, who party hard but have enough connections to compensate for their academic performance. Like Dartmouth but not as chill; like Princeton but not as prissy.

Brown: They would have went to Berkeley, but Mother insisted on an Ivy. Blue hair, red flannel, white skin. They’ve got universal pass fail but it’s taboo to take advantage of the system. The creative version of every subject–their CompSci students go to Pixar and their Biomed students go to Calico.

Cornell: Engineers from old money families and Conrad Hilton fanboys. Are they depressed because they live in Ithaca or because of their crushing workloads? Teenage Kurt Vonneguts. Wealthy, but it’s not always obvious.

Columbia: In a one sided dick measuring contest with Yale. Heavy workloads, heavy drinking. Erudite, ambitious (and they know it). The angel to NYU’s devil. A fast track to the New York Times and Wall Street Journal.

Princeton: Secretly thinks Harvard is for the impoverished. Eating clubs. Well developed Econ and Math departments, but UChicago is catching up. Great undergraduate teaching, especially if you fit in with the culture.

Stanford: They’d have gone to Harvard, but California is the closest thing Earth’s got to Eden and Massachusetts is…clammy. Massive startup culture. Duck syndrome and stress culture. Elitist, especially about class and status, but somehow gets a pass.

Caltech: “Hey MIT, we’re you but stronger.” Pretends that test scores trump all other metrics of success, because they’re *Number One at the SAT, baby.* Something of a male dominated culture, lighthearted.

MIT: Robotics, engineering, business, and math. 90s computer nerd aesthetic but in an ironic way. Sunlight averse. 1) study hard 2) ??? 3) profit

Duke: Beautifully gothic. Has successfully implemented a caste system, albeit informally. Intelligent, southern socialites. United by basketball, divided by highschool-esque cliques.

UChicago: Will fight the Ivies on sight. Very good at Econ and Law with an intense classical “core” curriculum. Have your weekly panic attack in a stunning glass egg-inspired library. “If you study hard enough you can become God.”

Vanderbilt: The scent of Tennessee honey in the trees. Frat culture. Los Angeles’s beauty standards, Mississippi’s snark.

Johns Hopkins: Students are required to duel you if you call it “John Hopkin’s.” People who have been premed since third grade. Academically intense without being prestige obsessed–I’d cautiously call it “well balanced.” They’re there to become doctors and medical researchers, period.

Berkeley: Study while a riot between Trump Supporters and Antifa rages outside. If Calculus III has you down and depressed, pick up a can of mace and assault somebody. Competes with Stanford, is the champion of Public Universities. Insanely expensive area to live in. Most students are too absorbed in their academics (read: 3.3 GPA CompSci qualifier) to worry about much else.

UMich: Berkeley but with snow. Ann Arbor is as good as college towns get, but has almost dangerous levels of school spirit. International students with $4k apartments and $850 winter coats. “Harvard waitlisted me but I’m not even mad.”

UCLA: Everyone is a former premed. Valley girls and the Asian students they make problematic comments about. Frat guys lost in a scary world where you can’t pass a midterm with a hangover. Cal’s politically stable cousin.

USC: “The University of Spoiled Children” still rings true sometimes, but not as much anymore. There are some seriously competitive academic programs hidden behind Los Angeles’s gauzy party culture. Loyal alumni.

WUSTL: Cooperative with a competitive biology program. Low school spirit, largely because their last star athlete graduated in 1943. Prominent STEM culture, but not exactly nerdy. A midwestern fusion of Brown and Columbia.

Carnegie Mellon: UPitt’s smaller, bourgeois sister. Cliquey nerds–a Drama student would rather die than speak with an Engineer, and visa versa. CompSci champions.

Northwestern: Nerdwestern and Northwasted. They went to private high schools and it’s obvious. Show up to your Art History final drunk on rosé. A version of UChicago where you won’t get mugged on campus.

UWash: Architecture designed by Athena herself. The premed children of Microsoft engineers. White boys wearing colored socks and Nike sandals. Washington rains endlessly with the tears of tormented Amazon employees.

Rice: A refreshing dose of New England in the depths of Texas. “Hmm, Rice? I’ve never heard of it!” Spanish architecture, conquistador vibes. You’ve got a fair chance of finding the library packed at 1am, depending on what week it is. The MIT of the South.

Penn State: Drinking school with a football problem. Parties harder than Miami U. Not really bothered that they get confused with UPenn. Mild frat culture.

Boston University: Rich girls and self centered frat bros. Hipsters and hipster engineers. Athletes in the CGS (“Crayons, Glue, and Scissors”) school. Wealthy slackers who will regale you with tales of Martha’s Vineyard over break.

UVA: Preppy but not on purpose. Public school snobs. Southern-ish and definitely conservative. DC kids with a seemingly endless flow of money from home. The wealthiest, whitest school that’s not called Harvard.

LACs

Williams: Oxford and Harvard’s laid back son. Amherst can suck a dick. The bourgeois version of outdoorsy. Sports culture despite not being in a major division.

Amherst: Prelaw or business. Pastel polos, party drugs, and a general Gilded Age aesthetic. General distaste for the hoi polloi.

Swarthmore: “Swatkward.” Highly academic atmosphere, no time for social skills. Beautiful leafy campus. UPenn students aren’t shit compared to us. Stress culture so intense it would make a UChicago student weep.

Tufts: Don’t ask us if we got denied at the Ivies. Friendly, midsize school that maintains the atmosphere of an LAC. Very good International Relations and Philosophy (Dr. Daniel Dennett!) programs.

Reed: Swarthmore but with a lot of LSD. Atheism, communism, and free love. No one here knows a goddamn thing about sex ed. Nuclear reactor that students can train to work at.

Grinnell: Brown’s midwestern cousin. Concrete, glass, and corn. Well developed STEM programs, especially for an LAC. Close knit community, extreme hookup culture. Quirky. Emphasis on writing skill. Gigantic per-student endowment.

Carleton: Trimester system that intensifies the academic culture. Cold winters, warm hearts. Parties more than a typical LAC but there’s still a sense of awkwardness. The smart version of eccentric. Mini Northwestern.

Bowdoin: Not a single person here has ever known a moment of hardship. Dining hall food that could earn a Michelin star. Rich, white, and cliquey. A pretty significant “old sport” culture. Everyone pays full tuition.

Pomona: Like a university packaged as an LAC. All the benefits of California, located next to the Greatest American City—Los Angeles. Large endowment, lots of opportunities. Flagship of the Claremont colleges. Mini Stanford.

Harvey Mudd: A tiny population of quirky engineers. The one true STEM LAC. Mini MIT. Male dominated, socially awkward, highly academic.

Middlebury: Bourgeoisie teenagers in the wilderness. Has a reputation for excellent language programs despite that fame stemming largely from summer specific programs. Quirky, in a reserved way. An amalgam of Dartmouth and Columbia.

Oberlin: What conservatives think liberals are like. A dot of blue in a sea of red. Theatre, music, and dance. “My parents are making me double major in Econ.”

[yesixicana]

Things fatphobia, sizeism, diet culture (and people invested in these) take from fat people. for people who don’t get it, don’t wanna “believe”, and won’t ever experience it - 💔childhood and adolescence - you’ll spend it being told to lose weight, on diets, crying, wishing you were thin, or that people at least left you alone and stopped reminding you you’re fat because you learned fat is bad, undesirable and if you’re being socialized as a girl/woman, you learn you’re never going to be loved. Your free time is consumed wishing and waiting til your body changes. 💔Food - you go on countless diets, limit what you eat, eat less even though you’re still hungry, not eat in front of people, not eat at all. 💔love - you listen to the lessons on love we’re taught about fat people. Believe no one can find us attractive & if they do it’s because you’re “actually pretty for a fat girl”, if they do they’re chubby chasers, if they do it’s only a matter of time until they leave, you cling onto people that hurt you because you think it’s all you will ever have, you try so hard to hide and hope your person doesn’t realize just how fat you are. you let said person suggest you lose weight, start being a “better you”. & when u finally realize that there’s no such thing as being out of someone’s “league” and there’s only people that are invested either in your oppression or in your growth & start self advocating - your lovers leave. it’s too much. they won’t change how they see you. your body. Your worth. Oh & if said person is a “looker”, they are obviously “such a good person, so sweet” to be dating someone like you. 💔jobs - the way employers can have preconceived racist notions about people of color, Black people - employers can have their own set of preconceived fatphobic ideas about fat people, assume they’re lazy, “unprofessional”, not presentable, not agile, not good enough. & these are not isolated preconceived ideas - sometimes they are at play so that when you’re brown and fat there are some jobs you’ll just never get because you don’t “fit” the type of person they’re looking for. 💔health care - everything will be blamed on your weight. You have an ear infection… Well, have you tried losing weight? you’ll be asked every. Single. Time. If you’ve been to a nutritionist. If you have a thyroid problem. If you do, then they’ll think it’s great because they’ve found it. THE problem, THE holy A-HA reason you are fat. Because isn’t there one? Who would want to just be fat because they’re fat? you’ll be denied access to certain procedures until you lose weight. you’ll be dissuaded from seeking health care altogether. 💔travel - you’ll be the one no one wants to sit next to because airplanes are not fat friendly. Airplane seating is not fat friendly. In fact, people that are “customers of size” are asked to pay for an extra seat if they don’t fit in one seat. Some reimburse if you’re traveling with a second person - but what if you don’t have that money to front? Imagine if the seats could just be wider. You’ll quickly learn that capitalism and businesses don’t give a shit about fat people, their comfort or their well being. Not that capitalism cares about anyone but production and money… 💔clothes - you’ll have the HARDEST time finding clothes. Cute clothes. That fits. As an adolescent if you’re made to or choose to wear “girls” clothing you’ll likely skip the youth section in the stores and get right over to the misses or women’s section. your size is rarely found in thrift stores. Your size is rarely found in most stores because for most stores “plus size” means L & maybeeeee XL. Forget every other fat persons size beyond XL. your clothes, especially bottoms will cost extra, cost a lot and tear easy. if it says one size and it’s not stretchy - that shit is not one size fits all. If it’s stretchy - it’s still not one size fits all. most of your options for tops will be “tunics” and loose fitting styles that don’t accentuate your stomach because you’ll be told it’s more flattering. You’ll learn to hide your body in these clothes, especially jackets. Even when it’s hot. 💔seating - you can’t sit just anywhere. Some seating. Most seating, wasn’t made with a fatty in mind. plastic chairs, wicker chairs, stools, old chairs can and likely will collapse under you at least once and make you feel like shit. it’ll be awkward because you’ll know that the stare everyones giving you says “if you weren’t so fat you wouldn’t have broken the chair” but the truth is that if people that build shit made it knowing that, “hey a fatty might sit here” then it would have been built better. When you go out to eat - there may be restaurants you don’t even fit in. booths. Tables. and if you’re with someone, they’ll try to be cool but actually be really awkward because they feel bad. if only spaces were made with fattys and disabled folks in mind, for one, there would be more space. 💔outdoors - you’ll think you can’t keep up with other people or do the same things as thin folks or the more outdoorsy type. You’ll learn fast that people are not so patient and caring of your needs to engage in the outdoors. You’re supposed to keep up or not do it at all. There’s no modifying. Until you find your own pace and find the people that ask what you need, cuz when you go on walking/hiking trails you get red in the face and winded so you take breaks more often and they actually support you so you can be in nature instead of asking if you’re sure you wanna do it, “are you okay??” and even then, they may need reminders of how to be more mindful of your needs. 💔friendships - as an adolescent & if you’re socialized as a girl you’ll be the “fat friend” or “less pretty because you’re fat friend” of the two or in the bunch. You’ll listen to your friends issues with their partners, all the while secretly managing all your anxiety and needs around dating, feeling undesirable, getting treated shitty all on your own. When you start self advocating for things, some friends will think size is all you talk about. “It’s not that bad”. “You’re too sensitive.” If they’re skinny, they’ll tell you they feel “so fat” or that they’re “such a "pig” without even finishing a full meal and that will make you look down at your used-to-be full meal because you actually ate it all and are actually fat & you don’t feel like a pig but they just made you feel shitty. And you’re still hungry. 💔films/comedy/entertainment - you’ll be the punchline. All. The. Time. Whether it’s a film or a show you’ll hear the joke about the fat person. Fat people get made fun of just for existing. This is not an exhaustive list. I probably left sooo much shit out even applicable to me. Intersectional experiences. This goes without saying (hopefully), I’m speaking for me. My identities & experiences with class, ability, gender. My truth. My knowledge. Every fatty has a story that skinny people tried to make them hide and stay quiet about. Every fatty has violence they’ve faced that keeps them from living. Experiencing joy. experiencing love. Go/walk comfortably down the block. Go to the doctors. Get money. Get laid. Be respected.

by joanna villegas