#out of order but what do you expect
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There are more things in the Parable than Stanley knows about. [Blank Scripts AU]
#hoh boy i was going to make a comic to introduce these monsters but#i couldnt help myself and made an animation instead#because i just think they're so neat and cool okay#listen i cant for the life of me just infofump about my AU and OCs#because i just think that making actual content about my lore and stuff will not only raise the chances of people being interested#but also it will also raise my motivation to actually produce more content other than the same old recycled front-facing-profile drawings#i need to get creative with my stuff or I'll also loose interest and I DONT want that#in order to be happy with what i have i cant just think about it and expect to be given something new NOOOO i need to MAKE it ughh#i cant believe in order to get more content out of my own au i would need to draw it and feed myself ugh ugh ugh unbelievable (kidding)#but also#i wanna make a little music video or animation again for youtube#its been a hot while since ive uploaded anything in there at all#maybe an animation reel will do for now?#i hope so :(#because ive been working on expanding the Black Scripts AU#and honestly i dont regret it#i had a lot of fun making up scenarios and comics for Stanley and the Narrator (Black)#but yeah!#apart from this little video#you wont be getting an explanation on what these things are supposed to be#and why theyre there#actually i was originally gonna make this into a full fledge animation with sound effect/music/frame-by-frame movement/etc.#but i got lazy HAHA#tsp blank scripts au#tsp au#the stanley parable#the stanley parable ultra deluxe#tsp
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ghost stares at the ceiling, chest heaving in a harsh pant; sweat ice on his clammy flesh and soaked into the sheet he restlessly kicks away.
ears still ringing, his fingertips blindly drift down to trail along his vivisection scar. he half-expects blood to smear in their wake. his own line of solomon, who ordered him split in twain; half of him given to a grieving mother and half left with the grieving to be.
just for both his broken halves to be rejected.
what did it make him that his mother grieved him more than she loved him? that she begged to be relieved of him more adamantly than she begged to receive him? why did his worth spill out with his drawn blood? why was his pain lesser than hers?
his hand flexes, digging into the raised scar like it’ll part beneath his fingertips to plunge into his mangled insides. no one knows the cruelty of reforming the halved; his name, his being, not nearly as important as his body when he was stripped from himself. no one knows the pain of healing and understanding losing pieces of yourself means losing your value along with them.
how many more pieces did he have to lose before he was halved once more? before his very presence incurred grief so strong it was better to be rid of him than cradle his bloodied remains?
did the infant fight himself? did he age always at odds with himself; his halves never truly whole? he hopes he wasn’t, that he was spared the loss of self; the fear that one may be welcomed over the other.
who will he lose when the inevitable comes? when he’s ripped apart again? simon? or ghost? is it better to be cursed with choice just like his mother or live with an aftermath chosen for him? does it matter if in the end, he convinces himself there was nothing of him left to lose?
his head lolls to the side and the wild buck of his chest slows. he watches johnny beside him, his face lax with the rare peace of sleep; his cheek squished against the pillow, his lips pursed as long breaths escape him.
johnny. soap. never torn asunder but two all the same.
he carefully reaches out and ghosts his fingers along the jagged scar on his chin. even in sleep, he presses into his bloodied touch. he’s never fled his half-flesh, never shies away from his gore as it spills unbidden from his cleaved torso. he holds on where his mother let him go; cups his stomach to hold his insides in place and never minds the blood that drips through his fingers.
simon will never let him become his own solomon and cannibalise himself. he will never let him question which half of him has more value; which pieces he can afford to lose before he’s cast aside.
ghost’s soap. simon’s johnny. his.
whole, in any incarnation.
#yall know the story of king solomon?#and the two mothers who claim a baby is theirs so he orders the baby cut in half so they can each have half of him?#well guess what woke me up out of a dead sleep and demanded to be written?#anyway roba showing simon clips of his mum on the news begging for the safe return of her boy#for the government to do something; /anything/ please she just wants her son back#just for ghost to dig himself out of simon's coffin and she can't bear to look at the man he's become#he's cold and afraid and hesitant and angry and in pain and so different from her little boy that it's just too difficult for her#he's a living breathing reminder that her simon didn't come back from the desert#and ghost has to live with the knowledge that his mum couldn't love him through anything#that maybe if he got himself out sooner if he was stronger or smarter or a better soldier... if he hadn't let simon die...#maybe he wouldn't have changed so much that she wouldn't look him in the eye and see a stranger#if you know anything about me by now you know i love the separation of the self and the person they become around others or bc of trauma#whether thats hizashi and present mic or simon and ghost its one of my absolute favourite tropes#and simon knowing hes become someone else and going home expecting to still be loved anyway?#just for this new version of himself to be rejected?#thats the moment he fractures into ghost#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#ghost call of duty#cod mw2#cod mwii#save post
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After a conversation with a friend about this weird trend of fic readers who only want epic length fics (and also what seems to be a massive misunderstanding between parties on terms and their definitions), I went searching for the fandom sources I cut my teeth on. I don't have much bookmarked from those days anymore, but googling got me to this fiction length/terminology breakdown from a Livejournal blog. (Which also has good fandom definitions for other terms like A/N and fanon too, so if you're super new to fandom, go check that out.)
The definitions come from the publishing world (hence the page counts), but fandom and fanfic has always borrowed heavily from official publishing terminology. Flash fiction (aka, anything less than 1k words) is called a 'ficlet' within fandom. We call everything else a fic until it reaches the novella mark -- which may start at 20k words but as synecdochic breaks down on their Dreamwidth blog, there's a lot of overlap between short stories and novella word counts. Because, when you're not constrained by physical page counts, the real dividing line between short stories and novellas are the number of plots and themes you're using. (Seriously, go read their meta on this topic. It's fantastic!) Either way, once you're hitting tens of thousands of words, you're in longfic territory. And then if your fic is even longer than that -- 100k+ like shown in the screenshot above -- it's called an epic fic.
And these terms, longfic and epic, are important because they're used to differentiate these stories from the average fic. Because, at least in the 2000s up until the 2020s, the most common fic lengths you ran into were between 1k-20k words. "Fic" made the reader assume only a few thousand words at most. It's only when you changed the term to drabble or ficlet or longfic that they would realize 'oh this is going to be shorter or longer than normal'.
I don't really understand why that baseline assumption has changed amongst the newer demographics (and maybe amongst some long-running fandom members too?). I've seen a lot of theories and 'tiktokification' complaints, but I honestly don't know what's true. And I don't want to start a fight or even try to change anyone's minds if they are dead set against reading short story length fics. You can do what you want!
Just maybe shift your attitude about it a little bit? Remember that it's a personal preference the same way tropes are, and that one story length isn't better than another. Just like tropes, each story length serves its purpose. Some stories are best told in 1-2k words. Some are best told as 100 word drabbles -- or even a single sentence! And then, yes, some stories do need to be 100k+ in order to be told properly.
But that's not every story. And it shouldn't be expected of fic writers to pad a 1500 word plot into some sprawling epic just because they left it on a cliffhanger. The cliffhanger is probably the point of that fic! Short stories are an entirely separate art form to novels and as such are able to cover different topics than novels can or cover the same topics differently. And that's what makes them special!!
And look at that word count breakdown by genre! That's mainstream publishing standards! Now, go back up there to the definition of a novel and notice that the average published novel is 80k words long.
Let me repeat that:
The average length of a published novel is 80,000 words long.
Could a novel go longer? Sure! And if you're dipping into adult sci-fi or fantasy, absolutely it will be longer! But does your fic need to be longer than the average novel in order to be good? In order for you to feel satisfied when you finish reading it? Why does the length of the fic matter more to you than the content?
idk just some rambling food for thought, but I guess too long, don't read:
~✨~ Every story length is valid ~✨~
It just depends on the plot you have and the structure you want to use to tell it.
#fandom history#writing#fanfiction#my meta#I mean my god people Big Bang challenges traditionally required 50k because it was a CHALLENGE#and most people didn't even try to attempt them and only like half the people who signed up actually completed their fics on time#BECAUSE 50K WORDS IS A FUCK TON OF WORDS!!!#And do you know what Big Bang challenges did in order to survive all these years? THEY LOWERED THE WORD COUNT REQUIREMENTS!#The femslash challenge I just signed up for only requires 10k even though they're still giving us months to finish it#And there are people out there pooh-poohing on that effort because it's not novel length???#FANFICTION HAS NEVER BEEN NOVEL LENGTH#Those were always the exceptions! Never ever the rules!#I just don't get it#Excepting more from writers feels so disrespectful of their time and energy and skill#No one's expecting full color art with multiple subjects and detailed backgrounds from fan artists every week!#(Or I don't know maybe they are which would really suck too.)#😩
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worst hostage ever. (prev)
#the cat witchs guild#the misc adventures of mochi and lime#tcwg#tmaomal#coco#taffy#coffy#art#ocs#original#comic#continuation of the comic where he kidnaps her#skipped some content but i only wanna draw the parts that stick out#they already had the mochi conversation where she didnt believe his insane ass#coco pretty..........#NOT YOUR USUAL HOSTAGE....TOO CHILL. NOT ENOUGH FEAR#HE EXPECTED HER TO JUST BE QUIET AND AFRAID WHILE HE WAITS FOR MOCHI TO SHOW UP BUT INSTEAD...#theres nothing in the villain handbook that tells you what to do if your hostage wants to order pizza#the off-brand mcdonalds/pizzahut lovechild for the tcwg universe#shes so hard to deal with because he doesnt actually want to hurt her specifically. just mochi#so hes trying to be gentle with her while still KEEPING her there because HE NEEDS TO GET TO MOCHI
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unordinary 340 spoilers
so i’ve been thinking about it and on one hand, isen suggesting they leave john and run is a pretty sobering moment because he really is just clinging to the first real opportunity he has to protect his best friends who won’t stop getting into situations where he quite literally can’t but on the other hand it is also kinda like. (gently grabs isen by the shoulders) hey man. we saw valerie’s level. i think you’re gonna need that guy later
#unordinary#unordinary webtoon#we as in readers btw.#i goof on him a LOT but i do actually really like isen#and regardless of the fact that i would say he’s in the wrong here it was a really good character moment#also. i 100% do not expect him to be thinking about this considering the circumstances and i’m willing to be challenged on this#but i feel like the rest of the main cast tends to kind of forget that john and sera are like. they are best friends as well.#and part of this initially was because of the hierarchy (cross-rank friendships being suspect)#followed by them (john and sera) being in conflict for a good amount of time of them. actually witnessing that relationship.#if that makes sense. and i bring that up because (and again i don’t blame isen! the Circumstances)#isen is (unknowingly) suggesting leaving someone else’s best friend to die in order to save his own.#which. ough.#even on my silly posts you gotta watch out. you never know what i’ll put in the tags
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Does a podcast ever release a take you disagree with so strongly it makes you question everything you heard on it up to that point
#this is so niche and only interesting to other people who spend 10 hours a day listening to podcasts so i'm putting it in the tags#but s1ep3 of invisibilia about the blind guy who learned to echolocate so well he could ride a bike was fucking wild#the take was like. okay okay backing up a bit we all agree disability is socially constructed in some ways right?#ie people treat blind people in certain ways that reinforce an inability to function in society get jobs etc#they have certain expectations of people who are blind that can be limiting. right. so we all agree on that#but that was not the end of the take! the take was that because disability is socially constructed the solution is#to expect the same level of independence from blind people as you do from seeing people#and that also was not the end of the take because the way this man tried to accomplish that was forcing blind children to climb trees#this guy had achieved a high level of independence but in the process of learning to echolocate had knocked out multiple teeth#he was like 'the biggest barrier to blind people's ability to function in society is their parents' love for them'#because parents prevent blind children from exploring getting close to roads etc#and anyway i think that although parents may infantilize blind children more than necessary there is a strong financial incentive to#make sure they do not get hit by a car or break a bone#the solution of just getting blind people to act exactly like seeing people also seems odd#what's wrong with requiring help from others? why have we decided independence is the only way to function in society?#should all disabled people just be willing to injure themselves in order to get as close as possible to independence#in order to hold down a job which we have decided is the only way to earn the right to live#is there only one correct way to live a life?#it truly baffled me. i was sorting that mail going 👀👀🤔#anyway. this has been your podcast take of the day
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tell me why i can hear another tenants fucking music from my flat. HE DOESNT EVEN LIVE IN MY BUILDING. HE LIVES IN A COMPLETELY SEPARATE BUILDING ON THE SECOND FLOOR AND I CAN HEAR HIS MUSIC FROM MY FLAT. MY FLAT WHICH IS IN A DIFFERENT SEPARATE BUILDING.
#and staff just say ‘oh we can’t do anything bc its not 11pm yet.’#ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS.#i am autistic person who has just spent a full 12hrs in extremely overstimulating public spaces#i am exhausted and i have had to wake up at ass o’clock in the fucking morning#every day for the past like week and a half and will be expected to do so for the forseeable future#i am extremely sensitive to noise and have no ability to zone things out#like everything is always at the same volume for me#all the fucking time no matter what#and they say like oh well in the community there wouldnt be anything to be done so we cant do anything here#BUT WE ARENT IN THE COMMUNITY. ARE WE. WE ARE AT A SUPPORTED LIVING ACCOMMODATION WHERE I HAVE BEEN PLACED#BY MY LOCAL AUTHORITY WHO ARE PAYING TWENTY THREE GRAND A YEAR#AND I AM PAYING FIVE HUNDRED A MONTH#IN ORDER TO RECIEVE SUPPORT FOR MY DISABILITIES. A BIG ONE BEING MY FUCKING AUTISM.#YOU KNOW. THE ONE WHICH IS BEING DIRECTLY IMPACTED BY THE BEHAVIOUR OF ANOTHER TENANT.#WHEN I AM BEING PUSHED TO MY LIMIT ALREADY. LIKE IDK FEELS KINDA CRAZY THAT THIS ISNT SOMETHING THAT CAN BE SORTED.#i fucking hate men there is just literally no fucking respect or consideration like its genuinely disgusting and so fucking infuriating#and like he says that staff (women. btw) are being too naggy about it. but never fucking stops to consider that maybe.#maybe people wouldnt have to ‘nag’ you about it IF YOU JUST. DIDNT DO THE THING THAT IS ACTIVELY CAUSING OTHER PEOPLE STRESS.#IDK FUCKING WILD IDEA JUST THOUGHT OF IT.#literally die i want everyone involved to die like I CANNOT DO THISSSSSSSSSSSS
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Honestly it annoys me that pride, ambition, and generally having a big ego are always villainous/evil-coded personality traits because personally I think if you genuinely are a prodigy at what you do you are 100% within your rights, perhaps even deserving, of flaunting your skills and being proud of the fact you can do something that only a small fraction of other people can do. Is it even ego at that point if you genuinely are as good at your field/skill as you say you are? Are people not aware that becoming a prodigy at something is something that takes lifelong sacrifice and practice sometimes to the point of giving up on having a normal life, relationships, etc even potentially destroying your own health???? God I fucking hate how pride in your own skills and ambition are so villain coded all the time. As if it's evil to want to be good at something and be recognized for what you rightfully earned
#squiggposting#this is part of why i like pharma obviously lol but it's happened to me w#other blorbos ive had in the past#bc like full offense if you're capable of doing something like partially inventing the cures to 5 different terminal diseases#in only a few months/a year of research. or if you can do an organ donation and replacement surgery#with yourself as one of the donors. you literally ARE the best doctor who has ever lived#and you DESERVE to flaunt it bc. what fucking achievement is higher than that???#some feats demand recognition in my opinion. maybe it's just bc I've always been competitive#and from a young age enjoyed a (relative) degree of fame for being really good at certain things#ive always enjoyed being an object of awe bc bitch i spent my whole life working to be this good#do i hold it over ppl or treat them badly for not being as good as me? i admit i used to but i grew out of it#but the ego? certainly not. i think if you're good at something you should own it#i think if you're a prodigy and put your skills into doing good work youve earned your fame and recognition#this expectation of false humility we have is sooooo annoying#ohhhh boo hoo pharma is a little bit of an annoying asshole about being a better doctor than ratchet#the cures he helped design will save literal thousands of lives from now until the rest of time#but somehow the way he FEELS about it is more important than the CONCRETE POSITIVE GAIN he put into the universe?#and also in general i hate it when ppl assume that pride/ego and being kind towards others are mutually exclusive#in general i feel like i could write an essay about how self vs others is treated as a dichotomy#where it's assumed that in order to uplift others you have to self efface and diminish yourself#or if you flaunt yourself it automatically means you're putting down others. it's not true.#video essay topic for later lol
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SCREAMS INTO MY HANDS
#vent#i am so sick of not having a vehicle yo#i'm so tired of it#it's been weeks and my dad still hasn't checked out the unused corolla sitting in his yard#'well it could be the engine but it could also just be the head gaskets' THEN CHECK FOR THE LOVE OF GOD#or at LEAST let us take it to someone who WILL#i am so sick of them being so unreliable while they dangle help over my head and then i end up never fucking receiving it#it's the least you people could do for ruining my fucking life forever#i'm not expecting my dad to fix it himself because he's old but just#i am begging you#tell me what's wrong with the fucking car so we can see how much it'll be to fix it#if you're going to do one fucking thing right in your life just fucking HELP YOUR SON WITH THIS SIMPLE TASK#i'm sorry. i've been neurotic and disoriented since yesterday and i can't fucking think straight#i just want to have a vehicle because we can not keep having to order groceries and take ubers it's draining the fuck out of us
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Starting the year with Riddle hcs 🌹
I feel so proud that the semi realistic headshots still look good if you flip the canvas... 😤✨ More hcs ↓
Similarly to Epel he has insecurities regarding his body. Unlike him he doesn't go nuts when the spotlight goes to his feminine features, only when his age or mental maturity is questioned due his looks Floyd is an exception because anything he says makes Riddle explode.
He used to take great pride in his idea that he is mentally more prepared for adulthood than most boys his age, that he knew better than his childish classmates, before he was humbled in book 1. Post OB he still thinks he is book smart and mature but does he know how much he has yet to learn, though he still finds rather insulting to underestimate him for age or looks. Summary: call him a child and the effect would be the same as calling him short
Whilst Epel is focused on the conservative sense of masculinity, Riddle aspires to be a gentleman. To be exact, he has taken a liking to victorian etiquette on how to be proper during courtship rituals.
I think he would find tips such as "don't flirt with every lady you meet and don't assume every (young) woman is eager to fall in love with you; maintain a dignified reserve"; "be ready to act the knight if a lady in your company is attacked"; "don't get a innocent woman her hopes up" or "neither party should make the other jealous" quite tasteful. Of course, he's sensible enough to know which habits of 200 years ago he should cross out
Mr Roseheart is probably the one Riddle got his Japanese inheritance from, as it is weird to believe Mrs Rosehearts would chance her last name if she is a big name in the magical medicine industry. Unless his husband was the most prominent figure and she got more prestige with this marriage, unlikely in my opinion as controlling people like her usually take a dominant role in the relationship. So I suppose it's either a case in which each pattner keeps its surname or Mr Roseheart was who changed his
Riddle is autistic but his mother didn't make him go to any tests because she wants to believe his son is "normal". I'm under the impression she could be the type to be ableist just because (sadly many doctors are this insensitive and out of touch despite the irony of their fields) OR she doesn't discriminate neurodivergent people but doesn't want hers to be because she firmly believed if little Riddle knew he was autistic he would use his diagnosis to avoid facing the things he could struggle with or excuse "lazy" behaviour with it or she knows how ableist others can be and wanted to disguise him by making him a functional, well-adjusted neurodivergent individual.
Her reasoning? If he is capable of adjusting and is unaware of his autism he won't try to use "the easy way out of" when confronted about his struggles and he won't be bullied by his peers; don't mistake this as a kind gesture from a mother with good intentions but terrible execution. She believes if he was bullied during his studies he could drop out off medicine and she hasn't been preparing him to be a doctor like her for all his childhood to get her plans frustrated by an external factor such as how his classmates perceive him.
Therefore making him believe he is like the rest + homeschooling would "prevent" this outcome because neither he would interact with possible bullies nor he would know what's "normal" for kids his age so he wouldn't feel different because he didn't have a chance to interact with other children.
Plus interacting with adults and certain kids deemed intellectual enough would enhance his possibilities of "growing out of any annoying habits inherently from young kids" (emotional outburst and "childish stuff" she doesn't like). Which I think is way worse than if she was simply an ignorant ableist doctor, but also makes her a more manipulative and calculating character than what we know of her so far.
It could also make sense as for why she was so mad his son made friends she didn't approve of beforehand, because the only way he could have had external interactions would be handpicked by her.
Anyway that's all for today rambles, follow me if you wish to know more about my downfall in the spiral that is being a twst fan to not lose track of my delusions 🫡
#twisted wonderland#artists on tumblr#my art#nonokoko's art#riddle rosehearts#as for why he's autistic imo he takes everything seriously specific routines that bring him comfort and a sense of control & safety etc etc#That could also explain why his mom was adamant about having a strict routine planned out for him since before his birth#if she was aware of her husband or her autism she could use that in her favour if her baby ended up needing a routine (as he ended up) bc#he would feel for the most part comfortable with it and her control would result easier if he was#and in a twisted maternal love she could even think she's doing him a favour because he had a mother who knew what he needed before he even#knew what he needed#and if she's the one who autistic perhaps she had a chaotic home life growing up (not necessarily abusive or bad) and she relied in rules &#planning beforehand to find a sense of comfort. Which is why she's so controlling: she's giving him the life she wished she had. Order#and if she's not the autistic parent that would explain why she's out of touch with what an actual autistic child needs#autistic or not I feel she would know only what she has experienced and the book definition of autism. No guidance from other neurodivergen#people or experts because she is probably too prideful to accept or go ask for help about her own child. She probably thinks#going for advice would mean believing she is doing it wrong and either she's unaware that her parental work is bad or refuses to admit it#either way looks in character imo#idk she doesn't seem to like kids. Can't be a kids doc bc how would you not know what they actually need if you work 24/7 w them#likely a doctor who only deals with adults 80-90% of the time and expects children to be as mature and logical as her#Maybe she was that kid who felt superior and mature and that's why the “if I was this way my kid should be too”#Enough talking about that woman. I want her dead why I have so many thoughts about her begone bitch#twst#twst fanart#tw ableism#twst headcanons#twst hcs
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#roserade#i was about to be like What Where's Roselia! but i remembered that this is another one of those evo lines that's all out of order#because of retrofit prevos and evos. i'm glad they haven't done any of these since like gen 4 bc these things are confusing#see i'm gonna say that and then someone is gonna point out one in like gen 5 or something. and then i will die. i will lose forever#i'm queuing this up waiting for the presents on august 8th. i'm sure i'll liveblog it on my main but like. it's not gonna be anything#it's just gonna be sv dlc. that's literally the one single interesting thing they're gonna mention. i swear. that's it#no WAY we're getting any other new games this year. we got TWO last year. and that was right after pl:a was back-to-back with bdsp#i would be Very wary about the quality of the next pokémon game if we do get one this year. which we won't bc main series DLC tends to#replace a new core series game. it stands in for one. as we saw with swsh. and then they'll do one next year on the fuckin switch 2 or w/e#centro pokémon says sv was the last $60 pokémon game. and now they're gonna be $70. which is sad but to be expected#dunno. the presents is gonna be long over by the time you all see this so maybe i'm wearing the fucking clown makeup and we got a pmd game#or hell. a new pokémon ranger. that has a dedicated fanbase. for a game i've never played. should i? maybe i should
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🎶 they tried to make me go to rehab and i said PLEASE PLEASE HOLY FUCK I FEEL SO BAD WILL NOBODY HELP ME I CANT STOP WHY DOESNT ANYBODY NOTICE HOW BAD IT IS PLEASE HELP
#IM SUCH A LIGHTWEIGJT NOW AND I FEEL SO STUPID I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE IM FINE I CAN HANDLE IT WHAT'S ONE BEER YOU CAN DO IT YOU LIKE BEER#AND I HAVENT HAD WATER OR EATEN ALL DAY AND IM LIKE WHEEEE I KEPT MY TAB OPEN (DUMBASS) ORDER A SECONS#even a second is too much#i cant stop#like actually i dont know what to do bc i know even if i went to rehab WHICH I CANT AFFORD AND NONE OF MY FAMILY WILL HELP i just would#return to the same shit bc no matter how sober i get i cant stop bc that's how fucking addiction works#and im too scared to tell anyone i actually need help#the people who know i need help are just judging me and watching me fall into this fucking pit#i dont know what to do#im just gonna pass out drunk now#i hate feeling like this it's so fucking humiliating#i dont even like it#and im admitting defeat to WHAT? A LITTLE GLASS OF JUICE? YOURE KIDDING ME#prolific linguistics researcher and author cant stop.. why do we always treat academics like we're the pinnacle of society#im fucking awful man im a schizophrenic with an addiction problem#but im so much more than that! anyone who knows me knows that! but i cant stop#i want to stop#and im trying and then every few months I think ive tried enough and i expect it to go away but that's how the cravings trick you#fuck this man#drugs tw#sobriety update#lessons of the hand and the mouth
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I want to visit a place i've been thinking about visiting for several months now but that's scary
#in order for things to change i need to start doing new things or doing them differently (or at least more new things than i've done so far)#but that means entering new situations but also if i never go out and meet new people i will never escape this state#but also i don't know what to expect because i've never been to a place like this where you can just hang out with others#and when i think about it it's kind of exciting but also it's still scary#so uh. ok i think i can do this i'm just worried that right before i'm planning to go i will get scared again and then won't go and-#ok i'm already catastrophizing over how bad it will feel if i fail even though it might not happen. classic#ok whatever. if i don't go i'll never know if it would have been a good idea and led to something good#or great even. so i guess i need to do this. even if it's scary#goosepost
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🎆✨
#splatoon#splatoon oc#sydney (oc)#shades (yen)#other's ocs#lizzy does art#this was a test in seeing how fast i can draw without overthinking... trying to exercise the storytelling muscles...!#i think that i have a lot i can work on but i've been feeling a real itch to do comics and im tryna find a style sustainable for that!#if i overthink about how everything looks there's no way im gonna be able to develop storytelling muscles LMAOOO. but anw.#it's been a lot more fun to draw quicker doodles that go together in sequential order than doing illustrations tbh 😭#want to take the time in the tags 2 remind everyone on the dash that we should all unlearn shame together. lets make silly little arts!!#remember that it is OK to discard parts of the process that dont serve you...!#let's make art that's in-line with our values and what we want to draw...! not what someone else expects out of us...!
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Another omori pixel doodle while I procrastinate
#ok you know i'm like so out of it i accidentally post the same doodle with a new one#omori#omori fanart#omori hero#see you tomorrow#this was also spawned by tsuki XD#tho i honestly felt like i needed more hero art in my life so i was more than happy to do that#but ye i'm kinda curious what songs do people associate with hero?#for me it's see you tomorrow; the sunset bgm#since that's when we get to see hero and i just feel it fits him#that also makes me think the morning/daytime bgm is for kel#i guess you can say hangin out with the boys is for hero but i think that's more for the brothers instead of just one of them#and now for a bit of a ramble because the second image is sad#i've been a bit iffy lately since it just seems easier to just draw in pixels#and i'm just a little afraid of people (and myself) thinking that i should just do this#just a bit a fear everytime i majorly shift in styles#jack of all trades master of none#it's been happening as i keep one upping myself on my own project#but i guess that's to be expected with the order i'm doing everything#my art#pixel art
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Thoughts on 3rd life mirror birds. 3rd life big dogs. 3rd life property police. They fascinate me and I think you have thoughts on them but I might be wrong..either way
i do in fact have thoughts on them but i think if i talk about 3l!flower husbands publicly any more rn I’ll get so self conscious I’ll explode on the spot. this being said i have still yet to watch evo but its been on my list for forever bc of 3l!property police specifically… i really love martyns petty grudge against jimmy for those first two episodes he acts like he’s 12 and really pissed off on the playground. anyways i think that martyn going from being concerned for his friend to Just Fucking Lying to split up Scott and Jimmy, because he took personal offense to Jimmy being unwilling to drop everything to go live with him on the spot is the funniest thing in the world. Girl it’s not about you
#asks#for real though i think that martyn played up his offense at jimmy not taking the offer in order to pressure him into agreeing bc—#stuff like “oooh this is your ONE CHANCE for FUN OPPORTUNITY and if you miss it WE’RE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE!!” typically works on jimmy#but martyn wasnt expecting jimmy to stand his ground on that#And at that point (in martyns mind at least) you Have to commit. so then the mock offense became Real. bc what can you do#he cant just go back on it and go like “sorry i was just worried and wanted you to live with me bc i miss you and—#dont think scott is treating you well” martyn would never be that honest with himself much less jimmy#The offer in itself was somewhat selfish to begin with in my mind as well#He did just want Jimmy to come live with him so he saw the opportunity and jumped at it. he’s an opportunist#but i also think he originally followed jimmy and brought it up with him out of concern. does that make sense#a little while after their falling out i think he fully puts jimmy out of his mind#“Jimmys a lost cause he’s clearly done with me. Why should i care when he clearly has a nice loving husband he cares sooo much about#(eyeroll emoji) lets save grian” <- what i think he was thinking#he didnt mean for jimmy to die#but what happens happens yknow. the games the game#sorry for putting all of my Real Thoughts in the tags i wasnt expecting to write them out honestly#i just think about their conversation on that mountain a lot….bigb moves into that specific spot later and martyn gives him shit about it#Which means something to me also (<- bigb and martyn pilled individual)#etc.etc
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