#out of everyone. and once they realized that in dnd you can basically do things with no actual irl consequences they became unstoppable

[syn4k]

every single time i listen to this song all i can see in my brain are stick men.

its a fuckin shame that green as the musician of the group would fit perfectly as the bard here but they would never ever fucking say that

[ms-scarletwings]

So there was a note under my post about Zim hovering a finger over the self destruct switch on his first day on Earth that just cracked open something in my mind.

Cause…Oh. Oh hecc you, @murhuedur. You actually touched on like, my favorite thing about this character, period. I really like this take, I do. It’s a good one. I ponder, still,

In my own opinion, it’s actually genuine confidence and arrogance, but Zim’s delusions of grandeur are as a thin rubber band. They can stretch out to wild lengths and remain malleable enough to bend around truth as he wills,

But there’s a hard limit out there eventually, and should reality require him to stretch his cognitive dissonance just too far, it’s a violent snap-back to full clarity. I don’t think he’s faking it or always lying to everyone else about what hot shit he is, because I think he fully believes those lies about as fast as he can speak them, even if he will later realize he was wrong after a cosmic punch to the face.

Like, Zim’s smart, but smart people aren’t inherently rational ones. Within Zim, the tallest, hell, maybe even Skoodge, there’s sometimes this very short-sighted flippancy about what is objectively true/false that peeks out every now and again in their psychology. I mean, humans sometimes do this too when it’s convenient to their interests, just, obviously not to goofy cartoon character levels if they want to function in society.

Zim has whatever this flaw is and cranked up to 11, maybe as a side effect of his PAK defects. Sometimes it gets him into DEEP shit, but it’s also his biggest mental shield. Zim has like no fortitude against spiraling into a full on depression or a justifiable panic attack over the smallest concession of being an absolute failure to his race. That weaponized denial that makes him so dangerous to himself and others also keeps him together and motivated forward. But it’s not largely a conscious lie he’s telling himself. It’s genuine faith he’s trying to manifest into matter through sheer force of his will.

His dogmatic mantra, “I am Zim” and what it means to him is a statement he holds on such conviction it overpowered and hijacked the ego of 3 control brains at once.

If I were inserting him into DnD he’d have the wisdom stat of a stale poptart and a 20+ thrown into charisma. He’s faking it without even understanding he’s faking it.

But were he completely detached from reality, he’d be WAY more likely than even now to accidentally get himself killed. While a narcissistic level of self esteem is what lets him ignore and selectively unhear inconvenient truths, the adrenaline of immediate life or death danger is what grounds him back in the real world. You notice over time that as self-sabotaging as he normally is, he seems to act his most rational and competent when he’s suddenly put against the grindstone and self preservation HAS to jump into the driver’s seat. He basically survives his day to day on a tightrope between a falsely glorious narrative of himself, and his perceptive anxiety both tugging him to land on either side of the fence when something big happens.

In “The Trial”, he wastes very little time on his expected bullshit or his confidence in being able to just win over the approval of his judges.. by virtue of being his awesome self. He spent most of that ordeal on the verge of a heart attack, squirmed to find an escape, and actually tried to DENY causing the death of two Almighty Tallests (reminder that he usually owns up to his atrocities with downright offensive pride). He understood the full gravity of an existence evaluation and how cooked his goose was. As soon as the situation resolves and he’s no longer in that danger, it’s right back to full trust of his status as an invader, and in Red and Purple as his biggest fans. When his disguise starts to slip in front of Skool kids he knows are dumb as a bag of rocks, he can silver tongue his way around that without skipping a beat. Losing his disguise in front of a bunch of alien-obsessed adults? Uh oh, pants-shitting terror, this is potentially game-over levels of bad, immediately gtfo of here. Stand there, chest beat, and scold the obviously rogue duty-mode Gir all day until the second it actually tries to kill you and you suddenly have to realize you’re not the one holding the cards anymore to save your own life.

The other way this quirk of his really shows through is in his selective memory. Zim has this skill to repress down and push away unpleasant experiences that I think some of us can only dream we had. I love it because it’s equal parts a comedic and analytical goldmine.

Tak, who actually posed a legit threat to his entire mission and tried herself to chip through that massive wall of denial he’s shielded in- same Tak who’s powerful af ship was stolen and desecrated by Zim’s arch nemesis… she’s not just an afterthought in his mind after that mess. He’s literally pushed that one out of his thoughts altogether in the comics. Like she, and Skoodge, who he can’t fucking stand, might as well have never even existed, even while GIR’s trying to remind him. That time he played around with time travel and it was one of the biggest clusterfucks he quickly lost control of? The bologna incident he stooped so low as to ask dib to help him with? You must be thinking of someone else. Nope. Not a thing. Lalala, can’t even hear you. This is also what makes it no wonder he deeply struggles with actually learning from certain mistakes.

From an outsider’s eye this behavior of his is baffling. It makes him look actually insane or at least obnoxiously obstinate. And I think both assumptions are half right, because this is clearly not the result of mere stupidity. Those truths are simply wayyyy too discordant with his view of himself to devote surface memory to, or too uncomfortable, unless and until, of course, you confront him with them in a fashion where that rubber band has to snap, that bubble pops, and he instantly sobers out of that complacency.

Literally god forbid he ever stops being defective in this way or is given the ability to reckon with the reality of his situation and his history all at once. I’m not even just talking about his job or banishment. I’m talking about his entire life. This chaotic, flexible, incoherent mindstate is the only branch he’s holding onto from dropping into a much more horrifying chasm beneath himself, the depth of which we can only guess. I straight up have no idea what he would do or what could happen to him if he could, even for a moment, rationally comprehend his every action, memory, and empirical truth all at the same time. Seriously, leave that Pak’s Gordian Knot be, or I imagine there could be an HP Lovecraft type of breakdown in the making.

#By the way this is probably one of the most important differences between him and Dib, and what makes Zib so… way he is.

[rabbittwinrithings]

An Announcement

(The announcement below is copied from my discord)

   Hey everyone! This announcement has been a long time coming, I’ve just been pretty busy these past months. This announcement will have some good news, but also, some bad news. 

   First off, the good news: 

   End of last year I graduated from college and a few months after I got a new job! I had to move to a whole new state and it’s been perhaps one of, if not the, best experience of my life. This job has been amazing. My new place has been amazing. And just my life in general has been amazing! I can’t remember the last time I’ve been so content in my life! Sometimes I’ll just start looking around and be struck with disbelief that things turned out so well for me. Basically, I got a really nice job in writing and I couldn’t be happier! 

   With this new job, it has also given me time to discover old and new hobbies such as writing my own new material, reading, and I’m getting back into playing/running Dnd! (And once I get my hands on my sewing machine next month you better bet I’m gonna start sewing again!! And get back into cosplaying!!!) 

   But with this all new amazingness comes with a down side. My new job offers little time in the terms of modding. By the time I’m done with work I’m usually exhausted. (this may also be health related which I’m trying to figure out, but we’ll see.) And on the weekends I find myself looking for new hobbies. 

   Let me rip the bandaid off real quick:

   For now, I will no longer be working on my mods. That doesn’t mean I hope nothing new comes out of them. I’m still hoping to make an announcement later that may open up *some* of my mods for fan made expansions (if users wish to do so,) but I’m still trying to get all that sorted out. There was a lot of update work being done, and I’m still figuring out what to do with it. 

   I also still love seeing mod patches like replacers, translations, and such (like always, just shoot me a message first so I know they’re coming out.) 

   This also doesn’t mean it’s forever over. One day, I may return, but for now, I’m stepping aside.

With that sad news said, I want to let all of you know what a ride all this has been! I first started modding because I wanted to find a creative writing outlet, then it turned into realizing I could make a portfolio for a future career with it, and then, finally, I realized how many people enjoyed my work. There were a lot of times where I self doubted whether or not I was a good writer, but seeing the overwhelming support over the years for my art has helped me get over that. My final years of college weren’t great, and modding and you all helped me through the vast majority of it. Because of all that, I want to thank each and every one of you for your support!

   Now, just because I’m stepping away from modding doesn’t mean I want to stop creating. Like I said, I still love writing in my free time, so maybe in the future I can post various personal writings I make here. 

   And with that, once I get everything figured out about the future of my mods, this server may be taking a shift in a new direction from being solely about Sidekicks of Tamriel, but just as a general Rabbitt Winri server and whatever personal projects I pursue in the future. (I will also be changing my various social media accounts accordingly too.)

   Once again, I cannot thank all of you enough for what you’ve done for me! None of this would have been possible without you!

[soundbord]

this took a lil longer than i wanted to but... here is milo's intro !

                                   the basics.

NAME: milo mendoza

AGE: twenty six

GENDER: nonbinary

PRONOUNS: he/they

ZODIAC: scorpio sun, libra moon, sag rising

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual

TV TROPES: not in front of the kid, brilliant but lazy, used to be a sweet kid, the charmer, getting high on their own supply

                                    about.

parentified to the max. milo's parents never really raised him, he knew that. they gave him just what he needed to survive and plopped him in front of a tv. they knew exactly why they turned out the way they did; why they didn't learn to floss or tie their shoes until embarrassingly late in life. moving forward, milo made sure their siblings didn't have those same problems. they'd eat consistently and as healthy as a preteen could get access to, they'd have hobbies and join clubs, they'd be taken to school on time even if it meant him missing school instead. he's proud, honestly, to have his siblings be as cool as they turned out. the two oldest starting college, over five years younger and about as close to graduation as he was. it wasn't about his future anyway, it was always about theirs.

fashion, piercings, and tattoos quickly became his thing once he was old enough to realize everyone was already judging him by the integrity of his shoe soles. it felt good to be able to customize his avatar, look however he wanted loudly in the view of judgmental eyes. when he figured out how easy it was to bleach and dye short hair, it was over to them.

milo's always been big on music. any genre, you name it, he's collected what he believes to be the masterpieces within them. from electronic to rock to big booming movie scores, he is never without something to listen to. might be the only person in this world who doesn't get in music slumps.

they should just drop out. they know that at this rate they may never graduate, but something about the concept of college, an acceptable inbetween, makes them feel like they aren't completely wasting their life away. when old teachers back at their hometown ask what they're doing nowadays, they can say they're at university, and there's no pitying looks. so, yeah, they're sort of blowing a lot of money for a degree they don't know they'll ever get, but maybe after enough years it'll all fall into place. it seems to for everyone else by the time they walk the stage, at least.

it wasnt a hard decision when he started selling. there was a demand, he needed money, and it wasnt like it would be a shock to anyone. milo liked the connections that being a dealer made for him. and yeah, maybe he is a bit too soft, a bit too sweet, but he genuinely believes hes formed a lot of friendships from this. (take luke sinclair, for example, who milo still wants gone from his memory and brushes off whenever he comes up. it's easier to live with the loss that way) the community that forms around you when you have something that people want is unbelievable. in a few short months he went from having a handful of friends to being beloved. the attention is addicting. almost as addicting as what was always going to come next when you give someone like him access to copious amounts of drugs.

i had nowhere else to put this so here's a big vibe shift. milo's current dnd character is a lightfoot halfling wizard girl named xanthe dunn. unlike milo, xanthe is a well off, cunning, and scholarly girl. her personality is very similar to hermione from you know what.

                                   a look inside.

mannerisms.

FACE: one look at milo's expressions will tell you all you need to know about how they’re feeling. they have a tendency to overexaggerate reactions. but, this is just the conscious expression, things taught from raising young children and wanting to help them better emote. when he wants to hide things, he can easily behind a smile

HANDS:  he isn't a big hand talker, surprisingly. milo's usually preoccupied, fidgeting with a zipper or a lighter in his pocket as he talks or has to pay attention to anything.

LEGS/FEET: they're always in some sort of lounging state. milo's feet are constantly propped up somewhere. 

EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS: hasn't happened in a few years, since getting into a fight with his sister's boyfriend over one christmas trip. usually, he can keep things in check. even arguments he has to slip some humor in to show he isn't emotionally affected, but when it does happen...

HABITS: chronic napper i fear. he can and will sleep anywhere, no matter who's around or what is happening.

POSTURE: oh, it is dreadful. just the worst. 

personal.

INTROVERT/EXTROVERT?: milo is an extrovert when their energy is matched, but they struggle to speak to people who are more introverted. often they just try to avoid pushing and seeming too overbearing

OPTIMIST/PESSIMIST: they've never been an optimist, but milo won't admit that. at least at face value looking at everything in a sort of glass half full way can help with morale, even if he doesn't believe it himself. he's especially pessimistic about this luke business (milo has from the start believed that luke is dead) but will only admit to it in ways that can seem like he's kidding... just incase it makes their friends sad

INSECURITIES: the volume of their voice is a big insecurity. milo had always been an excitable kid, and was always the one being shushed. worst was when people would cringe while he talks, indicating to tone it down. since, he's tried to take on a more laidback persona, voice lazy and low. still, whenever they're excited they have their moments.

relationships.

FAMILY: empathy win! your messy stoner brother who wears the same beat up old jacket everyday is a girl dad! of milo's 5 younger siblings, 4 of them are girls. he's been sewing, weaving perfect plaits, and patting pink blush on cheeks for years now. it's a strange picture, seeing them all piled into his beat up old car. his younger brother, not a smudge on his eyeglasses and hair perfectly parted down the middle, the girls in a rainbow of club uniforms ranging from cheer to band, and milo in a stained white tank, swatches of liquid lipsticks lined neatly on his forearm. their parents are another story entirely. milo keeps their cool as much as possible, but when they visit home from school to find their older siblings taking care of the littles instead of the parents, that anger threatens to spill out. he keeps his composure, pays his share of the rent, and doesn't say a word to his parents.

FRIENDSHIPS: connection is the single most important thing for milo. friendship is where he gets to have fun, drop the responsible attitude he has to keep at home and just do things because he wants to, despite the consequences. this leads to him being a bad influence more often than not, and at worst a nuisance. 

LOVE: from one failed relationship to another, milo never considered love very much. that was, until things started getting serious with camille. their relationship exists in a pocket universe separate from real world things like family. upgrading from a hookup situation to a full blown relationship was a big step, and somehow felt more important to take care of than every other relationship where he had been careless. they're a pathetic wife guy deep down, even though on the surface they just seem sort of toxic. milo does what he can to be a good partner, but they're a tactless mess, and often find themselves ruining things. with this recent breakup, they've upped the pathetic by a thousand. it's why they're even joining along on this project; to spend time together, try and repair their relationship.

                                   & luke

BAD INFLUENCE : the king of letting loose, milo seemed like the only person luke could truly lower his walls around. with him, there were no ulterior motives or potential for scandal. the two could simply chill. but smoking cigarettes became smoking weed, & that turned into shrooms which then became pill-popping. while milo was opening luke’s eyes to the wonderful world of recreational drug abuse, luke was single-handedly funding milo’s deadbeat lifestyle.

THE SECRET : late into the night, hours after he’d disappeared into the woods, milo found luke. the two talked for a while . . . smoked a little. only, milo had been cutting corners & settling on cheaper products to better afford the comfortable lifestyle he’d become accustomed to on luke’s coin. at some point he must’ve fallen asleep because, when he awoke, luke was gone — as was the remainder of his ( laced ) drugs.

[munsons-maiden]

since half the fandom sees eddie as having a mean streak and the other half vehemently seeing him as a human golden retriever what's you're take on it? 🔍

Oh dear the answer is gonna be a whole ass novel I fear so please bear with me.

Humans aren't black and white - and neither are complex, relatable characters. Like Eddie.

He doesn't have a mean streak in the way that he likes being mean, but like we all, he can be mean if he feels threatened. It's obvious in the cafeteria scene where he offends basically all the other social groups of Hawkins High students just for their interests the same way they do to him and most probably have been doing to him all his life. He lashes out, but it's not to be mean or cruel or bully anyone but because it keeps people away and if they already call him a freak, it's best to lean into it, right? He must have made a name for himself as mean because Jason is very obviously scared of him and so is Chrissy, who later admits she thought he was mean and scary, because mean and scary is what keeps the popular people like Jason from bullying Eddie and his friends.

(I've seen some people say he was being mean to Dustin and Mike in the cafeteria scene and they were scared of him which is just not what happened. Eddie is the leader of Hellfire and he leans into it because he's an extroverted, hyperactive and dramatic guy. They respect him, but they're not scared of him. It's the same effect my cheer coach has on me when I'm several feet in the air and she screams at me to stay tense or else she'll throw her sneakers. It's all in good faith. Eddie matches the way he treats people with how they treat him and what they can take - in lack of a better word rn: Dustin and Mike share Eddie's streak for the dramatic and the rough humor which seems to be a thing in Hellfire, and so does Erica who has no trouble putting Eddie in his place, so he matches his behavior to theirs by showing his revved-up, unfiltered humor. With Chrissy, he senses she's scared of him, so he reacts by showing his soft, vulnerable side, opening up a little because she does first and thus showing him it's safe to drop his guards. And the way he is with Chrissy - making sure not to get into her personal space, making sure to set her at ease and showing her he's no danger to her (after realizing she's no danger to him, unlike he first thought) is as 100% his true self as his rough, revved-up version we see in the cafeteria scene and later during the game of DnD. Even the dramatics are the same in all these scenes. It's all Eddie, and that's what makes him such a beautiful, complex, relatable character. I once talked about this with @kedreeva , how Eddie is using different masks for different people only that none of these are masks, just different sides of himself and all 100% himself, and the fact everyone who gets to know him also gets to love him, like Dustin so beautifully summed up, is because Eddie has a way to read people and react to them by showing them the part of himself that best matches their energy.

As for the whole postponing-the-game thing with Eddie and Lucas, I already made an in-depth post about that a while ago which you can find here.

Now, a little deep-dive into his scene with Erica: we know Eddie's been judged and bullied and mocked all his life for being different and for loving DnD, just like the party - so of course he's protective over that hobby that means so much to him and that's so awfully misunderstood in the society he lives in. He tests whether Erica, a little girl he's never met before, is up to playing this game with the rest of Hellfire which, as is established by then, all have a rough and revved-up kind of humor for her own sake as well as for the sake of his friends who've been excited for this important game because it's the finale of the campaign that spanned over moths, and for his own sake because you can tell how much work and thought and love Eddie poured into planning said campaign and its finale and of course he doesn't want that spoiled by a little girl who can't even play DnD. Plus, let's not forget Eddie knows who Erica is and has already heard a lot about her ("so this is Sinclair's infamous sister") which means if the stories about Erica were true, she'll be up for banter. Which she is. And he likes her for it and welcomes her into Hellfire. Not as a substitute at the table for one game, but he literally says "welcome to Hellfire", including her because she's proven herself worthy of it.

So yes, Eddie can be mean and show his claws when he feels threatened (directly and indirectly) just like all of us do, and I find it beautiful because knowing he can be mean if he wants to but doesn't want to be mean as soon as he feels 'safe' is much more of a testimony to his character than him not being capable to be mean.

I loved writing this so thank you for asking 🖤

[ghoulietta42]

Drift

I have struggled for a long time to make stories. I've had countless ideas over the years that feel like they were wasted on me, projects I couldn't figure out.

I felt like I couldn't do anything.

Recently though, I've been putting a lot of work into my projects, and I completed a story, a DND campaign with my friends. It's a simple thing, but it was Big for me. I actually, genuinely completed a story. Using the drive I've gained from it, I've been slowly but surely improving my skills on my arts and writings, and even got a drawing tablet (despite a less than optimal financial situation). Now, I want to share something. I've had the idea for this story for a long time, but yesterday I finally put a name and real characters to it, and I want to finally start Drift.

I'm obviously a small creator (I'd say microscopic lol), but I am really excited about it and I'm ready to push myself towards this goal. I would like to ask that you follow the creation of this story, and to that extent, the other things I create.

Even if I don't meet my goal in the end, I still will be better for it, and I'll hopefully have met new people.

Below will be some basic information on the setting and story of Drift.

The universe was once ruled by the Helios Empire. It spanned the entire Origin Territory, the part of Void where most known sapient creatures came from. The thousands of years that the Helios Empire ruled was adorned with victory after victory, claims of new worlds, and revered monarchs that ruled over everyone that the light of Helios would shine upon.

However, the Empire's greed knew no bounds. The worlds they ruled over, in such an inconceivably large area of the Void, all were depleted. Metals, Minerals, Biological Matter, Some times even the planet itself, were all used to build the Empire. When the people realized, many tried to leave for the Frontier, a section of Void that had not been well documented or used by the Empire. The monarchs did not like this disloyalty, and began to punish their subjects for doubting the power of the Helios Empire. This only led to more people fleeing into the Frontier, leaving the Monarchs without subjects. In response, many of them tried to take what others had, power, ships, worlds. The Helios Empire consumed itself until there was nothing left.

Now, on the Frontier, the last remaining peoples of this universe exist. Only a fraction of the people made it to the Frontier, and they now stand on the edge of the unknown, spurred on to leap into it by the absence of something to return to, and the rust and decay of their vessels around them.

The story features a cast of characters, but for this I will use two of them.

On the Hephaestus Vessel, a mining vessel that hunts down metal laden astroids and wrecks, are two Drifters, Zarion and Rirvyth. They fit the common conception of Drifters, someone (usually eccentric) with a particular skill that they offer to vessels or stations in trade for temporary housing, before moving on. As Zarion works on a machine she's been commissioned to make, she and Rirvyth use their days here learning what they can from the locals and finding small side jobs for extra cash or food.

Then, Zarion and Rirvyth finish and put together the machine, and decide to test it before they hand it in. It's a strange looking thing, with a big screen, a lot of computing power, and a strange glass tube atop it. They flick it on and see the screen turn on. It displays the room they're in, but dark. Furniture is floating around in zero gravity. Blueprints on the wall are torn down. It looks like the vessel was shut down, or suffered some sort of catastrophic event.

They shut down the machine, uncomfortable, and start to wheel it to the vessel bridge. Then, they hear the sound of the vessel being struck by a ship mounted weapon. Then the power goes out and they start to float in the dark.

[poognthebrainbois]

🍄 🍐 and or 💬?

(All 3, let's go!)

🍄 - How did you get your system name?

Okay so technically a friend of ours thought of it.

But:

We've since extrapolated meaning from it that I will now share with you all.

For a little context: we grew up with musical theatre. We were majoring in it at university. And singing has always been important in our life. So in a general sense, we knew it had to be something surrounding that. Anyway,

I can't find it but we wrote a whole thing once about how

the concept of a songbook is a collection of a performer's go-to songs for auditions and such, and how some they may know much better than others, but they're all meaningful in some way to the performer, and each song helps showcase a different aspect of that person's abilities, and shows what they value and the versatility of the person. A performer will often take out old songs that no longer fit or serve them, and add new songs that they've only recently learned, but every song was once a part of the book. And I feel the same way about our system. We're all songs in the Songbook, and some of us are very new, and some of us have seen our worst and best moments. But we're all part of the same book, and we're all important for our own reasons.

That, and we've actually met and/or gotten to know a lot of headmates through singing.

While we were at school, we used to lock ourself in a practice room in the music building and do karaoke by ourself.

Specific songs had meaning/hit hard for some headmates, who would either have picked the song for that purpose, or have come to front during the song without even realizing. It's such a surreal experience.

🍐 - Are there any nonhuman headmates (in the system)?

Yes! Several! That number actually used to be much higher.

We've got a couple vampires, a couple werewolves, a couple introjects of dnd/LARP characters that are very unique (mostly elves but also some more obscure races). Uuummm... We have various magic users? Not sure if that counts... Some fae-adjacent people. A couple pure animals (A cat, a wolf, and a bird), a demon, a couple Time Lords, aaaaand whatever the hell Yakko Warner is.

💬 - Free space! Talk about anything!

OKAY SO

A number of us/our headmates have personal Spotify playlists and/or Pinterest boards. And I would absolutely love to link them for you if you want.

Also! We made a Google Slide Presentation about each of the headmates our friends were likely to meet!

Each headmate has 4 slides.

An Introductory Slide, containing basic information like name/pronouns as well as a little blurb about who they are/what they're like, and other info like system role, indicators when fronting, and likes and dislikes (sometimes containing positive/negative triggers).

A "faceclaim" Slide (we don't usually use the word faceclaim), which is covered in mostly Picrews or personal art of the headmate, to get a sense of what they look like.

An Aesthetics Slide, compiling a lot of stuff from their Pinterest board if they have one. Outfits and aesthetics indicative of their color pallete, Pinterest quotes, things of that nature.

Aaand a Miscellaneous Slide! Most of these are just a bunch of tumblr posts that "fit the vibe". Also other various memes, or pics dreamed "not sophisticated enough" for the Aesthetics Slide.

Another key feature of these slides is that everyone's slides are their favorite color, and the Introductory Slide is typed out in a font that either matches their vibes or is similar to their handwriting.

An example (that's probably outdated) can be seen in this post (cw aro discourse).

As always, feel free to ask whatever questions you want!!! Fill that inbox!!!

Thanks for asking/reading! :)

[runninguplenorahills]

i don’t want to make that post any longer so 😅 i think you’re really oversimplifying what i’m saying. i’m not saying mike’s arc is just the surface level “mike gets a gf and it doesn’t make him happy,” it’s also that his relationship with el is symbolic of him conforming to what he believes he’s supposed to do, and him realizing that by doing this, he’s doing himself and everyone around him a massive disservice. my most recent tiktok video goes into more detail. i do think that his arc also includes his queer journey. but if you don’t agree that he’s not interesting without being queer, you’re well within your right to do so without telling me that my opinion that he is is illogical.

Hey, yeah, I totally get your point but I personally don’t believe that this arc makes sense if Mike is not queer. Having a character force himself to conform to society and get a girlfriend because he’s supposed to etc. does not make sense if there’s nothing about him that inevitably makes him not conform to begin with. It doesn’t make sense if the thing he thinks he’s supposed to do doesn’t stand in conflict with what he wants to do! If Mike actually liked El romantically then dating her would not be forcing conformity. Their relationship would not be a symbol of Mike trying to conform because by dating El he’d do something he actually wants! He wouldn’t be forcing himself to do something just to please society. Mike being queer is crucial to his character. You can’t take that away but keep the forcing himself to conform arc! Those two things go hand in hand and you can’t have one without the other.

And I’m really not trying to be mean here but your take on this is illogical. It’s immensely illogical from a writing perspective because you simply don’t write a story about a character that forces themselves to conform to a society that they conform to anyway!!! In your scenario Mike dated El in s3 because he thought it would make him happy which then again means that Mike had no motivations to act the way he did other than that he wanted to, and that. Does not. Make sense! This whole concept of the character that you created by taking away his queerness literally does not work in itself! The arc is completely illogical if you take away what makes Mike different. What makes him not conform! Mike would act out of no actual, reasonable, deep running motivations and that’s one of the most basic indications that a character is badly written!

Having nerdy interests be the only thing that makes Mike not conform to Hawkins’ society would be very anticlimactic and once again immensely bad writing since all the party members are outsiders of Hawkins’ society! But while Will is poor and gay, Dustin is disabled and Lucas is black, Mike would be……a nerd. A white, straight, wealthy, male nerd….

You see what I’m getting at here, right? He’d basically be Steve Harrington + dnd. And the only thing Mike would be insecure about is something he shares with all party members! Something super trivial at that! Realistically, yeah, people get bullied for their interests and they can feel insecure about them but apart from the fact that Mike was canonically never generally insecure about being a nerd and the fact that the bullying was never about Mike’s interests, from a writing perspective you do not put a person with the only difference being having nerdy interests in a group full of people that are marginalized by society!!! Will, Dustin and Lucas face real hardships while Mike would just be a nerd. A white, straight, wealthy, male nerd. He’d be one of the most privileged people on the whole show. Along with Steve he’d be the insider in a whole show of outsiders and the fact that there’s a huge focus on Mike in s1 and s2 would make this so much worse! Creating a show full of outsiders for outsiders but choosing to focus on the character that isn’t that…

If liking dnd is the only thing that makes Mike not conform to Hawkins’ society and his whole arc is about trying to get rid of that and happily going into a relationship with the girl he actually liked, only to realize that she is a superhero and makes him feel even lesser than he felt before, then Mike would be a very flat character with an arc that doesn’t make sense, and quite frankly, he’d be an insult to what the message of Stranger Things is supposed to be!

Furthermore it gives off the impression that it’s El’s fault that Mike doesn’t want this relationship with her (because El simply being herself makes Mike feel bad about himself) and that’s clearly not what they’re going for (“But it doesn’t change anything. I care for you. So much!”). It literally isn’t compatible with canon!! And it also does not cover all of his behavior! It’s not an explanation to everything Mike did in the last two seasons and if a character‘s behavior can’t be explained then that’s once again bad writing!

Your take on an alternative arc for Mike is illogical because it loses its validity and credibility the more you analyze the show and that’s simply not what happens with good hypotheses! If you have a good hypothesis it will gain validity and credibility the deeper you look into the topic and that’s just not the case with your take! Your take is incompatible with the mere concept of Stranger Things, it’s completely illogical from a writing perspective, it doesn’t make sense in itself, it contradicts and ignores canon and it overall has the result of Mike as a character and his plot being badly written because there wouldn’t be any nuance to it! It would be an anticlimactic, flat character and story line!

Once again, I am not trying to offend you as a person. I’m not saying your way of thinking or your opinions are generally illogical. I am pointing out to you that this specific take of yours on this topic is illogical and that’s objectively the case! This is not me telling you that I personally don’t like your take. This is me pointing out to you the obvious flaws and inconsistencies in your take that are objectively there! Of course you have every right to still like Mike and find him interesting if he ends up not reciprocating Will’s feelings but that’s your own subjective opinion which doesn’t change the fact that he’d objectively be a badly written character.

[thatoneguy031]

Can I talk about something? Out of character, I mean.

It's a long post, but you don't have to read it if you're not interested. It's more of a vent post than anything else.

I've been having a hard time with this blog. Not in the popularity sense, this is what I expected from this kind of thing. I mean like... I don't know what to do with it. I've experimented with a few things(You can go way back in my post history if you want to see what I mean), but those ideas sorta fell flat, no?

This was originally meant to be a storytelling blog. I wanted to share my little synopses of my characters and plot points or whatever, because I was genuinely proud of what I've done so far.

Then I resorted to trying to be a comedian. I would try to post something funny under most reblogs, leaving them be if I couldn't come up with a remark of any kind.

It wasn't until recently that I decided to turn this into a Pokemon IRL blog, and I'm not even doing that well with this. That, and I'm afraid that I come off as self-centered, so I cut any posts that give that kind of vibe. Heck, I even tried doing a playthrough series, but I keep forgetting about it, and when I do remember that it exists, I just postpone the next update to oblivion.

I really want to keep this blog going, and trust me when I say I'm going to, but it's not going anywhere, and I feel like nothing is happening. At first, I thought it was just Tumblr having boring days, but I realized that I'm just not doing anything entertaining. My blog just turned into a pool of reblogs with the occasional Pokemon-related post or rant. And I mostly wait for either @the-one-from-dres or @drizzileiscool to bring up the occasional topic that I might have enough insight to talk about. Sorry for @'ing you guys, by the way, I just need folks to know who I'm talking about. Y'all the goats.

Once I got my drawing tablet, I thought that I could do a bunch of art stuff, but then it devolved into the same potential self-obsession problem, where I would just draw that one character(which is literally just a Samurott with anxiety and a Goku complex, let's be honest with ourselves here) over and over again. I have other characters I can draw, and I'm even taking free art requests. Granted, I haven't gotten any requests yet, but the option was still there.

And that's how we got here. I have to retake my Regents in literally under 24 hours, and I'm bitching and moaning about how I'm not getting anywhere in my ha-ha internet blog, which everyone already takes as a joke anyway.

If anything, I think my problem comes from a lack of communication. There was this like, 4 day period that I didn't hear a word from Dres, and I thought he hated me for something I did, until he involved me in 3 back-to-back reblog games literally the next day.

I still feel awful about it now, it was so petty of me to even think that way. For context, Dres might as well be my day one, and he's inadvertently taught me the ins and outs of Tumblr, like how to use tags and things like that. Hell, we even played DnD together once. No exaggeration, he's the closest thing I've had to a real friend in years, and I'm convinced that's only the case because he hasn't seen me in person.

I love him deeply, and only wish the best for him. To think that he'd leave me after I did basically nothing, I've really hit a new level of desperate. He likely had his own things to do, while I'm still stressing about things that probably don't even matter in hindsight.

Back to my original point, I want to do a lot more on this blog, and I also wanted to make it a chill place.

That's one of the reasons why I don't talk about politics myself. I don't want to get involved in things like that at all, because I want people to live without worry. The furthest I go with that kind of thing is "Stop being dicks to each other. We're people, deal with it." I know it's more complicated than that, but at this point, I'm almost scared to get involved in that kind of thing. I don't even know what a terf is. I didn't know Rowling was a bad person until recently when Drizzile was talking about her.

And it's like, I don't even know why it's so hard to talk to people for me. But at the same time, I think I really have something wrong with me, but I'm too scared to get it checked out. And, while I'm not getting into personal details, I don't have the right circumstances to even have that happen in the first place. That's the out of character reason why I say I might have ADHD, instead of outright saying I have it. I literally can't get it diagnosed myself if I wanted to, and I don't do the self-diagnosis stuff because I always get paranoid and think my problem is worse than it is. For example, I've convinced myself three times within the past year and a half that I had appendicitis, because I would get this really specific pain in my stomach. Guess who I told about it?

No one. I was terrified of wasting someone's time just for it to be me freaking out over nothing, and if I'm being honest, I still am. At this point, I have a plethora of things wrong with me, I know that now, but I don't ever get them checked out. I'm doing well so far with them, why worry about it now.

I just don't want to offend anyone. All I wanted to do was make a place where I and other people could have fun.

This is still going to primarily be a Pokemon IRL blog, but I'm doing something different. Please, if there's anything you all want to see on here, let me know. Stuff for Guy, art stuff, whatever floats your boat besides the obvious. And I'll do my best to keep up with my stories and fanfics or whatever. Once I get my stuff settled again, obviously, but I don't want to make it seem like I'm doing this for myself.

I don't want to turn this into a pity party. I really don't. At this point, I'm sick of having people worry about me. Whenever they do, I feel like I'm being an attention hog, and it sucks. If you did read this, thanks for listening. I just needed to get this much off my chest.

[reminder-setusername]

I don't really get how people "do things".

Every couple of months, I get the urge to "do things": go downtown for an event, or find a new online group, or something - because I generally don't do that (I basically only leave my apartment for work, groceries and doctor appointments - because I have no reason to go out for anything else).

So, I look up events - then scroll through a ton of things that aren't appealing to me or what I'm looking for. Not to mention that most things are $100 for admission - with no guarantee I'll like it.

Plus, my city suffers severe urban sprawl, so going downtown is a full-on day trip. Oh, and it's always scheduled for the nighttime - there's basically nothing for the daytime, when I'm awake (I'm sleep-deprived enough already, thank you).

It also doesn't help that I don't know what I like - only what I don't (crowds, loud noise, and generic "look at thing" activities, that feel entirely interchangeable).

So, then I try to find online things - like DnD groups on Discord or Roll20, since TTRPGs at least require interaction and that's more than most activities.

But I can never figure out that stuff - assuming I find something that fits my interests (and isn't dead, or filled with people yelling at each other), they all have the same formatting:

- Welcome to World 5795, please make a character from a vacuum, and if eldrich gods roll a nat 20, you can play with us - no guarantees you'll enjoy it though because we don't care what you're looking for, just warm bodies to roll math rocks for us.

For me, this is entirely backwards to how I create characters - starting from the concept I'm looking to explore and the dynamics of the world and other characters - then seeing which of my ideas can be incorporated into what they are making. Class and stuff doesn't matter to me at all - why is that the first thing people ask?

It's the same issue I've had with video games, and why I've only gotten into one (ESO) in the last year - my fun is creating a character that wants to engage with the world in my own way, not the "one true path". In ESO, my main character is happiest dodging the plot - and I have 6 other characters for doing the stories - in their own ways.

Anyways, what I realized, and why I'm writing this rant thing is... I realized I'd rather get into filling out job applications than look for "fun".

I mean, do you know how hard you have to work to make something more boring than job applications? How is finding fun activities worse than THAT?

Now I remember why the mood to "do things" only strikes once every few months - it sucks.

Fun is... not fun - especially when you don't get joy from being around other people - which is apparently a thing most people experience? I only found out about that at 24 - and I'm still not convinced that's a real thing.

I've never liked being around people in general - largely because they either get really invasive and assume they know me better than I do, or they just exist near me for a time, claim we're friends, and then vanish.

I think this is part of why I usually hate social media - or really engaging with anything where people know who I am or my deal. I always end up having to do what they think is fun, and it's miserable.

That's why - after seeing some YouTube stuff about Tumblr, I decided to give it a shot - anonymous, and not curated by an algorithm so I can engage with what I find fun. Turns out, not really (the description of the "for you" tab says there is an algorithm, and I only see the same handful of posts over and over), but at least I can post weird stuff like this because my personal information isn't on here - and it's acceptable to say it's none of your business!

Anyways, I guess I just wanted to melodramaticaly proclaim "fun is dead!" because, while I'm sure fun is out there, the process of finding it is worse than job applications - and I just feel like I'm watching everyone else have fun through a window, and it's easier to assume you all are tricksters, than that I'm missing out on something.

[blujayonthewing]

#speaking of 'getting mad because people don't meaningfully engage with fantasy lifespans' #EVERYONE overlooks the cultural nuance in dnd that elves are /physically/ mature not much later than humans #but are not considered an adult until some self-declared point of maturity usually around the age of 100 #that is. DIFFERENT. than 'a 50 year old elf is basically a literal child' no it ISN'T! it's a CULTURAL RECOGNITION #elves don't think it's possible for humans to mature into a really meaningful adulthood because they literally don't live long enough #'poor things have to settle down and work and marry and have children and die before they can even figure themselves out :/' #gnomes don't subscribe to this because of course they don't it's a cultural viewpoint but also they largely think it's stupid #oh yeah? you're all done growing up after 100 years? nothing left to learn about yourself as a person? #you Become An Adult when you're Wise And Mature which is a single static thing that happens in the first 1/6th of your life? #wow amazing it must be cool to be so enlightened 🙄

@ragsy YES EXACTLY!!

and on one end I love the idea that elves do this for literal decades and still eventually go 'okay yeah this time it's FOR REAL for real 😌', although, to be fair, I suspect what actually happens is that elves reach 'adulthood' once they have grown and matured and experienced enough of life to realize and internalize that growth has no endpoint and that the big 'I am An Adult now' feeling they were waiting for IS the recognition that that feeling doesn't really exist-- although I'm sure there are also a lot of elves that just hit the 100 marker and go 'aha, The Milestone. I am now An Adult, filled with Experience and Wisdom 😌' without actual meaningful growth and introspection, because people are nuanced and imperfect

on the other end the way dnd players engage with this is like if irl humans culturally moved that 'adulthood' pin up to 25 officially and then people were like 'so a 20 year old is a Literal Actual Child then'

if a human asks a gnome when gnomes reach adulthood, they'll probably pin it somewhere between 25 and 40, depending on how they're interpreting the question; if an elf asks, they'll say "oh, we don't"

[polypromptsmybeloved]

An unlikely ot7 who nobody thought would even end up as friends let alone become a polycule.

A is a grump who finds most people annoying

B is an extremely lucky gifted kid who doesn't really have much friends

C is a loud rebel who drives people away with their behavior

D is someone who seems to care only about themselves and their selfish demeanour drives people away

E is a chaotic gremlin who can and will murder you. tries to make friends but people just find them annoying

F is pretty much a mysterious loner who doesn't really interact with people. And is also a sign language user

G is someone who has a really bad home life and doesn't get out much. Never had any friends and is the last to join the group

They all hated each other when they first met but then became friends and grew feelings

( basically a huge enemies to lovers polycule lmao )

When they first realized they had feeling one another it was very awkward, having fought all the time and literally being opposites attract kind of thing, they found a way to make it work. They still fight sometimes. Person A can be grumpy a lot, but their partners always find ways to calm them down. They still keep the though "I don't give a shit about you" attitude, but they have a soft spot for their partners. Sometimes a few of them (like two to three) hangout or go on dates alone. Many people question if they are cheating, but no one really knows that they are all dating. Person B can often be found studying, occasionally their partners will join them or try to drag them away to hang out with them. As much as they pretend to hate it, they enjoy the attention. Whenever the OT7 go out on a date, everyone around them just assumes that they are just a group of friends. (Just besties hanging am I right) Person C is often causing trouble/getting in trouble. Their other partners have to bail them out of the situations they got themself into. Sometimes, C will steal stuff for their partners (which they [partners] will sometimes go back and pay for. The 7 of them occasionally fight (often times they will be split into two groups) but in the end they all apologies and just cuddle watching a movie. Person D spends a loooooonnnggggg time getting ready for dates or anything at all. Their partners don't like it, but damn. They look good. D tries not to spend that much time on their looks but they can't help it. They feel really lucky that their partners still stick with them despite them being really selfish occasionally. When the OT7 came out to their other friends they all thought they were joking. After a while they [the friends] realized they weren't and accepted them none the less. Person E has probably killed someone once. Their partners are like 70% sure that they are joking. No matter what, they all would defend them in court. (Making sure they stay on their good side /j). When the OT7 go anywhere they have to use a big van, they all take turns driving to where every they are going and on what song is playing. It's chaotic but it's nice. Person F is a sign language user, when they all first met no one in the group could understand them so they were forced to just write down whatever they had/wanted to say. But secretly they all took lessons to communicate with F. When they finally told F (in sign language) they started sobbing (/pos). A polycule as big as theirs means that they have more people to play DND with!! Often times than not, they all end up flirting with each other in character (and occasionally out of character) When the other found out about Person G's home life they all took turns sheltering them. And when the time could they bought a house together. G is now doing much better, and their partners are helping them with whatever trama they might have.

[redsector-a]

AO3 Ask Game

I was tagged by @themarshalstale which, thank you so much! I feel like I always get missed on these (I know why, it’s been 84 years since I published anything but still). 1. How many works do you have on ao3?

46 it seems. Which...look I’m slow man so that’s not surprising. lol Also crippling depression does not make for much production, at least for me.

2. What’s your current AO3 wordcount?

309662 according to the stats.

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

So do I could only AO3 or in like life? lol I suppose it should only be on AO3 since this is an AO3 ask game. Hrm. Basically AO3 can be summed up as: Marvel (in several iterations - all Avengers related) Torchwood Highlander But isn’t it more fun to consider my entire fandom life, which, I’m sorry, I’m old so...yeah. Not all of this is was published and beyond that a lot is not available anymore...which is likely for the best. Highlander Star Wars Babylon 5 Ronin Warriors/Samurai Troopers Marvel (again, several iterations also of note Avengers and X-Men both count) Torchwood Star Trek LOTR Stargate (SG-1, SGA) Mortal Kombat I dabbled with the idea of Potter fic but never got past the ideas stage.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1: You rearrange me till I’m sane Clint finds himself spiraling into a deep depression after the Battle of New York...until the Winter Soldier ends up saving him and inadvertently giving him a new purpose – to save the man that the Soldier had once been – Bucky Barnes. Not one to be outdone, the Soldier decides that his new mission is to ensure that Clint remains alive himself. Protecting a blonde man with a self-destructive streak is somehow very familiar to him. Through the back and forth of who is saving whom they cross the country and learn more about themselves and each other – and perhaps find a reason for living. 2: Five Dates Bucky Didn’t Realize He Was on And the One He Planned Himself To say that Bucky was surprised when Clint kissed him was an understatement. But it was nothing compared to the shock he felt when he learned they'd been dating for months without him realizing it.Clint gets whisked away for a mission before they have time to talk and Bucky is left to figure things out on his own - hindsight being 20/20 he can't help but wonder how he missed things the first go around.

3: Puck Luck Bucky Barnes is used to the ups and downs of an NHL season. He's used to the unpredictability of the game, knows that bounces don't always go your way, but that doesn't make a broken hand in the final third of the season any easier to deal with. Especially not when he ends up with an impromptu roommate/personal assistant in the form of one Clint Barton - his agent, Natalia Romanova's (rather attractive) friend he hadn't known existed before his injury.

It's just for six to eight weeks - what could possibly happen in that span of time?

4: Loose Lips Launch Ships

Based on the following prompt: “We go to school together and I think you’re cute and apparently you’re also the pizza delivery guy and my little sibling opened the door screaming hey sibling! you know that kid you’re in love with? you really weren’t kidding when you said his jawline could cut steel holy shit-” Bucky is the pizza delivery guy. Clint's younger (foster) brother has a big mouth.

5: Indelible Bucky Barnes has a pretty decent life – a good job, good friends, a cat that adores him - but something is missing. He’s always found body art to be beautiful and inspiring, and on a whim (and with the hope that maybe he can find what he’s missing) he decides to take the plunge and get a tattoo. That's how he meets Clint Barton. Clint's talented and compassionate and there is an instant spark between the two of them. It's not long before Bucky finds himself wondering and wanting more from the relationship despite the ghosts of the past that crop back up. Because Clint makes him feel normal in a way he truly hasn't for years...

(this was pre-Alpine so I was totally chuffed when canon confirmed Bucky’s status as a crazy cat lady (affectionate).

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not.

I really really really want to do it but I often times don’t end up doing it. There are a few reasons. First, I am akwward AF and bad at interaction adn I feel like just saying thank you would be...not enough? Second - I often times tend to like...turtle (aka retreat into myself) when life gets Too Hard/Busy which happens a lot to me (sigh) and then I miss the vague window in my mind in which it would be okay to respond and then it’s even more weird. I do love and cherish all of them. Like there was one months ago that made me go “hmm...I didn’t think I was going to do a sequel to that fic (You rearrange me till I’m sane), timestamp glimpses sure but a sequel hadn’t come to mind” but then the comment made me think! So...who knows? lol Anyway, I literally have been rereading some in an effort to try and get myself going again. Know that if you have commented, I love you.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

At the moment? Probably: Look at you look at me Bucky's in love with Clint - problem is he's really not supposed to be. For Winterhawk Week 2019 - Forbidden Love (I really don’t want to give away the spin in the fic but...if you’re familiar with the Secret Avengers Vol 2 run circa 2013ish (aka when SHIELD initially ‘took control of the team’) that’s a bit of a hint as to the spin). Were it done, Torch Song would be up there. ;) Torch Song Clint is sent back in time, via an alien device, to 1938. While he tries to figure out how to get back home, he takes up singing and entertaining to make ends meet and does his best to not disrupt the timeline.Then he meets a 21 year old Bucky Barnes. --- A torch song is a sentimental love song, typically one in which the singer laments an unrequited or lost love, either where one party is oblivious to the existence of the other, where one party has moved on, or where a romantic affair has affected the relationship.

7. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

Does *wanting* to write crossovers count? lol I want, so badly, to do more crossovers and fusions (which...are kinda deeper versions of crossovers in a way). The only one I do have posted is a crossover between Highlander and Torchwood -

The Immortal Mr. Jones A series of vignettes (some long, some short) in the life of the newly immortal Ianto Jones. My most ambitions project that I have been working on since late 2011/early 2012 is a fusion of the Avengers with Stephen King’s the Stand. I will get that done at some point *shakes fist*  The Stand, for those who don’t know it, is an epic 1000+ page novel about a flu epidemic (I know) that wipes out over 99% of the population and then two figures representing Good and Evil pull the survivors in two directions for a showdown. So basically it’s a non-powered modern AU set in that universe. It’s a passion and comfort project. lol

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. Well, minor bitching back when I was in a prior fandom because I tagged a pairing in a fic but it was pre-slash and not labeled as pre-slash. I got hate on...I think it was Torch Song? And I’ve gotten hate on tumblr re me and my fic in general as well. Fandom! *jazz hands* Oh! And I’ve also been hit by those reviewers within Winterhawk (among general Clint pairings actually) who like rate you on either number scales or the “meh” scale. Which isn’t hate exactly but...it’s passive aggressive bullshit because I can’t believe none of them realize at this point that the authors can see their bookmarks - you know?

9. Do you write smut?

Yes. Do I write it well? I have no idea. lol

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of. Well...there was, I think, one of those reposting sites that had a few fics on it but I don’t think it was being passed off as someone else’s? I can’t quite recall. It’s why I have a note on AO3 about reposting my work anyway.

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not entirely, but sort of. Let me explain - I am part of a PBEM game; which for those unfamiliar since it’s a term that was most heavily in use 15-20 years ago, in which you basically do a round robin type writing thing but rather than everyone writing the same characters you write your own characters and you play off what other people have done. Another way of looking at it is  it’s basically DnD without dice and written down rather than done out loud. You also don’t have to all be around at the same time. It’s a lot of fun and yes I have been in it for 20 years even though there aren’t many of us left but they are some of my dearest friends and fabulous writers. Wins all around.  One of the other writers and I have actually toyed with the idea of doing a co-written fic actually, mostly because we work super well together and keep getting ideas for things but can’t really do them as rpgs since the pbem style isn’t used much anymore.

12. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Winterhawk probably. Though, let’s be real - Han & Leia are epic and amazing as are John & Delenn (from Babylon 5).

13. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Does wanting to expand The Black Stallion books as a wee child count? lol Not much of that was written save for world building ideas but there was a great oral tradition of telling stories to my friends. Otherwise...maybe a tie between Star Wars and Highlander. Star Wars was a love since I was super young but the writing bug didn’t hit me until around the same time Highlander was a thing as well.

14. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? You rearrange me till I’m sane for sure. Though Torch Song, if it were finished, would be tied I imagine (I suck at picking favorites). Honorable mention to Puck Luck and Indelible. Tagging: I have seen this like a million times (okay 5) so I feel like everyone has been tagged already that I know. But...I guess... @vexbatch @crazycatt71 @heartonfirewrites and @disruptedvice sorry if anyone has been tagged before.

[fabricated-misslieness]

Peter Parker x gender neutral reader with powers

Powers inspired by Fetch from Infamous Second Son

(I made this moodboard earlier on in the week to keep inspiration, since I didn’t have the time to write this then. This basically describes the reader)

Part 2 here

Requested: No

Word Count: 2512

Warnings: Swearing

Everyone knew (y/n) as the star of the track team, but to certain others he was a little more than that.

To the people in your classes, you were the quiet kid, the one that the teacher always seemed to forget to call. Yet they couldn’t seem to be that angry at your luck, maybe it was your charm, or maybe it was that sweet smile of yours.

To the quiet, shyer students, you were the nice popular kid, the one that would pull bullies away from others whenever you saw a situation arise. Ironically, the bullies were usually other popular kids.

To the popular kids, you were the one that they all liked, despite not talking much. You could say one sentence in an entire conversation and it would make them grow fonder of you.

To the kids in your art class, you were the one that always had a tip for their artwork, a tip that never failed to help. You were the artistic kid who got praise from everyone and would not hesitate to praise back.

To your best friends, you were crazy, in the good way. You had a risk to try every day and a gorgeous hide-away spot hidden in plain sight. But you had the tendency to disappear without a trace, though you were always back by a day or two. As for where you went, it was a mystery. They asked, but you never gave a direct answer.

To Peter Parker, you were someone that gave him subtle hints. Hints to what, he didn’t know, but you always winked when you saw him and didn’t have the time to speak, which was rare. You usually approached him, gave him a suave greeting, and sometimes a small pick up line. Ned told him they were pick up lines, but he didn’t actually believe that they were. The constant of the confusing equation that you were, though, was your smile. It was genuine. Not pitiful, not forced, not mocking, but truly, truly genuine.

It felt nice for someone, someone who wasn’t all that close to him, to smile at him in that way. He was used to the pitiful stares from people who knew what happened to his family, the forced ones he got from people trying to act nice, the mocking ones he got from Flash and his friends when they taunted him.

But to Spider-Man, you were an enigma. He’d usually find you spray painting the side of a building. Of course, he didn’t know it was you. Your ‘disguise’, he called it a disguise but it clearly wasn’t one, was a painting mask, one that blocked toxic paint fumes, and a beanie. Really, it was that simple. 

You couldn’t blame him, though, anytime you had the small gut feeling he, or for that matter any other law-abiding citizen, was nearby, you’d bolt.

Your powers came in handy for that.

Speaking of which, he wanted to know where those powers came from, if they were tech or superpowers, if you ever had to replenish, if they consumed something like energy, if you could do something other than run faster and let the trails linger, and several other questions.

Everything you did with them left a neon red glow or  trail, sometimes you even used them for your artwork.

Anyway, what even was the crime you did for Spider-Man to come after you?

Vandalism, straight up graffiti. That was certainly a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man kinda job, huh? Helping grandmas cross the street, old hispanic ladies get directions, stopping people from loitering where they shouldn’t be… non-Avengers level stuff.

Your graffiti was mostly political/social movement stuff, but sometimes it was a way for you to express yourself.

Nobody knew about your powers, hell, you didn’t even know where they came from. That was why you never told anybody, but man was it a hard secret to hold. Your reason was that they’d push you to become a superhero, like Spider-Man. That, however, wasn’t the biggest of your fears, nor the biggest reason.

You were scared. What would they think of you?

What would they think of the real you? The ‘you’ you wanted to show them.

You sighed, looking at the artwork on the wall. You’d worked as the ideas came to your head, even with how messy it was, it looked good. You felt like it represented you.

Even with how good it felt to paint your feelings out, your recent thoughts about how your friends, or really anybody at all, would react had altered your mood.

“How does Spider-Man do it?” You muttered to yourself. How did he keep a different identity, from superhero to teenager? At least you thought he was a teenager. Every time you ran from him he’d scream for you to “come back” or “slow down”, and he’d always sounded like a teenager.

“How do I do what?” Before you could run just like the other times, he webbed your wrist to the wall, too late to realize it was fresh paint and you had your watch on.

You shrunk back, side-eyeing the artwork and struggling against your restraint, forgetting in a state of panic that you could easily break it with your powers.

Spider-Man could see the panic in your eyes, and he was quick to calm you down.

“Struggling won’t--” No, Peter, that’s not how you reassure someone. “I’m not going to hurt you.” He was relieved to see panic to falter that teeny little bit.

“I just want to make a deal.” It struck him a few seconds later how wrong that sounded. “N-Not a drug deal, or anything.” 

The panic subsided, though the uneasy feeling didn’t. You were amused at his mixup, thought you didn’t show it.

“You stop spray painting areas where you’re not allowed, and I let you go with a warning.”

You raise an eyebrow, pulling down your mask slightly so that he could hear you properly. Peter couldn’t help but think you looked a little attractive that way.

“You’ve seen the activism stuff I’ve done.” He has, and he was all for it, but it was still vandalism. “The world needs to listen, and if they can’t, they have to see.” You stuffed your hands into your pockets. You would’ve assumed that Spider-Man would be all up for it, but it seemed like he wasn’t.

“Trust me, I agree with it, it’s just that it’s illegal.” He crossed his arms as if to intimidate you but it had no effect on you.

You huff, furrowing your eyebrows. “You know that’s bull, Spider-Man.”

“Look, I love your artwork, but you have no permits.” He insisted, which was making you grow more and more agitated.

“You don’t have to be lawful good.” Peter raised his eyebrows at the DND terms, but you couldn’t see that. “These are statements for the world. And they’re—“

Spider-Man gestured towards the graffiti behind you, which was clearly not a statement.

“Alright, you got me there.“ You roll your eyes, “I can stop these, but I will not stop the important ones. I put them in those places because I need the people to see.”

Spider-Man was conflicted. On one hand, you were morally correct. On the other lawful hand, the spray painting was still illegal. He didn’t know how he should act on this.

Once again, he could clearly see you growing frustrated.

He steps forward to put a hand on your shoulder, but as his hand lands on it, your powers let out a neon red shock.

It doesn’t affect you, but it clearly affects him… and the web on your wrist.

He collapses face-first on the ground of the alleyway.

“Shit,” You kneel down next to him. “Of all the times for these stupid powers to backfire, it’s now?”

You stand up, debating on whether or not you should flee from the scene, leaving the red clad superhero on the ground.

Your moral compass was pointing to no. You couldn’t just leave him here alone, he seemed hurt.

You’d never done something like that on accident, not to this degree. Anything else remotely similar had been used as self defense, to some mugger or two, and all it did was stun them for a sec so that you could run away.

You turn him over to check on him.

He appeared to be fine physically, but then again if he’d only fainted he’d be up and running by now. 

You sigh, stretching and getting ready to pick him up because he didn’t exactly look like a light-weight. Now, where was the nearest hideout?

Peter woke up in a sleeping bag. The first thought in his head wasn’t where he was, rather, why was his mask on? 

He moved to take it off but then remembered what happened last night.

Then he asked himself, where am I?

He strained to sit up. It felt like he’d been hit by a truck several times.

He first looked down because his head throbbed with a splitting headache. When he found himself stable enough, he looked at his surroundings. 

The first thing he’d noted to himself was that this was definitely not his bedroom, nor was it a place he recognized.

The second thing was, the place was dirty as all hell, it looked to be an abandoned warehouse. The only furniture seemed to be placed there by squatters, which was technically what you were, since this was your hideout.

You walked carrying a dunkin donuts bag. “You’re up?”

Without the beanie and the mask, he could finally see who you were. “(y/n)?” He whispered under his breath, hoping you wouldn’t catch that. You were the person who gave him hints, and also the star of the track team. No wonder you were able to run away from him that fast, even with your powers. He felt stupid, it was so obvious who you were.

“Yeah, that’s me.” You snicker, sitting next to him. You take note of the way he sways as he sits as if he were dazed, which he most likely was. “I’m going to assume you know me. As much as I’d like to guess who you were, I think that’d be a bit rude.”

Despite how dizzy he felt, Peter couldn’t help but notice you acted as if whatever happened in that alleyway didn’t happen.

You were being nice to him, even when he started that argument.

“I brought food, even if you won’t eat it in front of me.” You hand him a sandwich and a cup of water. Peter nods, taking the drinks but keeping them next to him. “I checked you for any serious injuries, had to pull back your suit.”

You notice the way he leans back from you, you take it as a sign of worry.

“Don’t worry, there was nothing serious. I didn’t check under your mask either, if you’re worried about that too.” You thought he would’ve assumed you didn’t from your previous comment about his identity, but panic can make you forget things, you guess. “Just bruises, and I think I gave you a concussion. They’re probably from that red burst... sorry about that by the way.”

“Probably?” He asked.

You hummed a yes, rubbing the back of your neck. “I don’t actually know much about these powers.” You played with the neon light of the glow stick you always carried around with you, in case you ever needed a recharge. You ‘pulled’ the light from the stick, admiring it. Spider-Man seemed to admire it too, though probably in an investigative manner.

After a while of molding it into different forms, you put it back on the stick. Peter took that as a sign to speak up.

“You don’t mind me knowing your identity?”

You stare up at him with a cheeky smile. Peter thought you looked beautiful under the red glow of the glowstick. “I wasn’t trying to hide it.”

Peter flushes a bright red, thankful for his mask. He nods slowly, pretending he was processing the information.

“I should.. leave.” He stands up, a little too fast for his dizziness. As a consequence, he nearly falls back down, if it weren’t for your fast reflexes.

“I think you should stay a while.” Your smile was wonderful. “Wait ‘till you feel fine.”

Peter looked out the small windows of the warehouse, it was still dark out. That was a relief, since that day, or maybe tomorrow who knows, was a school day. “Okay.” He mutters adorably. He plops back down on the sleeping bag.

You sit next to him again, taking a bite of your own sandwich. “I don’t imagine you’re actually hungry.” He nods back at you.

“You should take these back.” He makes an effort to shove the items back in your bag, but you stop him before he can.

“No, you should keep them.” He can tell you seem worried.

“Y’know, I think my concussion is--” He tries to stand up, yet you pull him back down.

You gave him an all-knowing look, “It’s not. You’re still swaying.”

You see the spider eyes narrow at you, and you can’t help but think he’s adorable. It’s almost like Peter trying to figure out if you’re flirting with him or not. “You’re nice.”

“I caused your concussion.” You reply.

Right, you were the one that pulled Flash away from him. He’d heard the stories from the other kids, too. Man, you seemed absolutely perfect.

The rest of his time with you he insists on making small talk, even if you tell him not talking might help him rest up more. You weren’t exactly sure if it would, and he wasn’t either, which was one of the reasons he insisted.

Thankfully, it didn’t take long for him to stop swaying. He had a small headache, which would most likely last for the rest of the day, but the dizziness had left him.

His main priority was to get out of there, not only to get home, but also because you were making him flustered. You liked teasing Spider-Man, despite not indulging in blush because of the mask. You could tell by the way he looked down or how he fiddled with his fingers.

“I think I’m good now.” You made him stand up to make sure he was telling the truth.

He passed that simple test so you showed him towards the exit.

You checked your phone, “12 am.”

He nods, sandwich bag webbed up to the drink for easier carriage. “Uh..” You hadn’t expected Spider-Man to be this awkward. “Thanks..?”

“Yeah,” You smile. “No problem.”

He turns to head out but you stop him with a hand on his shoulder. He nearly jumps back when you press a chaste kiss on his cheek.

“See ya around?” Your smile turned cheeky.

“Y-Yeah!” He exclaims out nervously. A second later, he’s right out the door. Even if he has a mask on, he’s not risking embarrassing himself in front of you.

“God, why do I have to be so awkward?”

[imsobadatnicknames2]

I mean this in a genuine and not snarky way but... I think you've fundamentally misunderstood the point of this post?

Like my point of the original post is that a lot of people who try to design d20-based games keep replicating D&D's attribute score/modifier dichotomy in their own games when it has no real reason to exist outside of D&D, just because that's the way D&D does things and a lot of them have D&D as their only frame of reference for what a TTRPG is.

I make this very explicitly clear in the first paragraph, and then bring up games that use just the modifier and games that use just the attribute score as examples of games that, while inspired by D&D, have chosen to approach the design of attributes in a different way instead of blindly copying D&D's game design decisions.

You're condescendingly talking to me like I'm a D&D player who just came up with a set of houserules to get rid of ability scores and is now DEMANDING that everyone plays with them and makes them a core part of D&D but is too much of a dum-dum to realize that with these houserules he isn't playing D&D anymore, but an entirely different game, when I'm actually someone who hasn't touched modern D&D in 5 years and is arguing that there's a lot newbie aspiring designers out there replicating this particular D&D design decision for no reason when their games would benefit from being designed differently than D&D.

Like once you have this in mind, a lot of your post becomes moot, like...

>Things being hard capped at 20 is not Dungeons And Dragons. Flat out

Yes, I'm arguing that a lot of d20-games would benefit from NOT being like Dungeons and Dragons.

>The things you're describing work great for other systems! But they're both antithetical to DnD's whole thing

Yes, that's why I'm arguing for OTHER SYSTEMS to come up with more mechanics like them, instead of copying how attributes work in Dungeons and Dragons

>DnD isn't truly generic fantasy, it's got a very specific range of experiences that it's aimed at and based around that makes it DnD.

Yes, I'm arguing that games that aren't geared towards the same range of experiences as D&D shouldn't blindly replicate D&D-specific things that make D&D be D&D

>To remove one entirely (...) is to make a game that is inherently at its core Not Dungeons And Dragons

Yes, I'm saying that a lot of d20-based systems would benefit from not being Dungeons and Dragons at their core.

>To remove the components that facilitate these important distinctions is to make a different fantasy game that is no longer Dungeons and Dragons.

Yes, I'm asking people who design games like the entire possibility space for what a d20-based RPG can be is basically just dungeons and dragons to make games that AREN'T like Dungeons and Dragons

>Wishing for it to be removed based on personal preference isn't good, nor is it fair to the people who do like it. What about their personal preferences?

Me wishing that people designing d20-based games stopped blindly replicating this particular mechanic from D&D in games that aren't meant to be D&D doesn't obliterate this mechanic from existence or do anything to prevent D&D players who like it from using it. Hell i'm not even advocating to REMOVE it from D&D itself, dude. I struggle to see how it's "unfair" to them.

No offense but you and I are talking about completely different things on this post. You're attributing to me a lot of opinions that I've never held or claim to hold and then shadowboxing against the positions you're attributing to me.

A TTRPG mechanic that I think is completely redundant but remains in use in a lot of D20-based systems solely because it's a D&D sacred cow and there's an awful lot of people for whom D&D is their only frame of reference is the idea of "Ability Scores" (e.g. STR 14 ) and "Ability Modifiers" (e.g. STR +2).

A lot of loosely D&D-inspired OSR games get rid of one of those concepts (either tossing aside the +2, -1, etc. modifier and converting all ability checks to d20 roll-under, like The Black Hack, Into The Odd, or Macchiato Monsters; or keeping just the +2, -1, etc. modifier and letting that modifier be the only value that defines your abilities, like Mörk Borg) and at no point it's made me feel like "oh boy, it sure would be better if there were two different values for this attribute of my character, one of which barely ever comes up during play".

Like even with D&D itself, in modern editions there are barely any mechanics that use your ability scores. It wouldn't be much of a stretch to just get rid of them entirely and build the whole system around your modifiers.

[erectionsandtea]

OKaY GuYS, listen, I'm sorry to do this but I need to get this out bc I can't sleep bc it's bugging me so much, okay?

I want to say a few things to people who claim that mileven is fake/not in love/toxic in ST3 (and I don't mean byler/byeler fans specifically, jsyk), things that have probably been said before but I'm going to say them again anywah

Sorry in advance

1) I DON'T CARE if you think 14 year olds can't be in love. I'm not watching ST for its realism, I just want my babies to be happy

2) "mike and eleven's break up was so colorful and upbeat, so clearly they don't love each other" pREpARE tO BE TOLd

Eleven knows next to nothing about relationships, and most of what she DOES know (if not everything) she learns from max in those moments when max is convincing her to dump mike. Max tells el that she's dumped lucas like five (5) times, and he has always come crawling back. With how little el knows, she's probably thinking that's what will happen with Mike, she will dump him and he will come crawling back and all will good and whatever

"mike doesn't love el cos he didn't cry when she dumped him, also he just sits around in the basement eating cheetos and burping at lucas" while true, it could very be because MaYBE This dumping came out of NOwHERE, literally nowhere. They hadn't fought (yet), everything was fine (or so mike thinks), and then out of nowhere he just gets dumped?? Maybe he was just so shocked and confused that he wasn't registering it at first, mAYbE he was in denial, idk!!

Also I'm sure mike doesn't love el bc he doesn't spend the entire rest of the season trying to figure what he did wrong ,what's wrong with her, and trying to win her back, oh and also caring for and about her even tho they are still broken up Oh WAiT-

3) "mike doesn't love el, he loves will bc" etc, other stuff in s3 -> are we just ignoring that fact that mike is literally ignoring will a lot of the time bc he's stuck on el, I'm sorry but of our boy loved will maybe he would have stopped to play dnd with him

4) pleaSE zTOP comparing mileven's breakup to mike and Will's fight outside castle byers in the rain. They are not the same and shouldn't be compared like they are (and I am NOT saying that mike doesn't care about will at all or anything bC OFC He DoES)

5) mike literally does that cliche movie trope thing where he blurts out his feelings for el without even thinking or before he realizes what he's doing "I love her and I can't lose her again!" You can see the shock on his face after he says it, that shit isn't planned, it was spontaneous which often (THO NoT AlwayS I AdmIT) means it's true/real in tv and movies

6) "if mike loves el, why doesn't he say it back at the end of the season?"

*ahem* fIRST of all, because he already said it! SeCOnD of all, when she says it, she says "I love you too". You don't say it back to the person who is saying it back after you already said it once. It would just sound awkward. It doesn't matter that they both said it at different days/times, they can still both mean it

7) "why does mike avoid saying his feelings when el confronts him at the end?"

Picture this: you blurted out your feelings to the world, and then you find out mAYBE the person for whom you feel has heard it, but you don't know for sure, and they don't say it back. Then that person confronts you about saying it. AND you're a fuckin teenager!! You're probably going to be awkward and weird about it, and you might try to pretend you have no idea what they're talking about bc maybe if they don't feel the same way, you can just brush the whole thing off as a joke or pretend it never happened

8) "mileven's relationship is toxic/unhealthy, all they do is make out" -> they. Are. Teenagers. They're probly horny as fuck, aLSO who's to say they didn't talk and get to know each other over the MaNY mONthS separating seasons 2 and 3? You can't say, I can't say, we don't know, not to mention they did get to know each other (EVEN IF JuST A liTTLE bIT) during season 1, remember? You honestly expect me to believe that horny teens won't be all over each other at every fuckin opportunity?? Please

"well max and lucas weren't making out all the time" well max and lucas could be at a different stage of their relationship, couldn't they, they haven't know each other QUITE as long, haven't been through QUITE as much trauma together...see what I'm saying?

"neither mike or el spend any time with anyone else, their relationship is so unhealthy" um yes they do, after they break up their time together gets quite limited okay, and I will agree with you that I think they needed some of that

9) and maybe, MayBE mileven won't be endgame, okay, it is possible, but I will not sit here and pretend that the reason they are not endgame is because they don't care about and love each other

EDIT: 10) "el isn't ready for a relationship" maybe so but y'all think will is?? (Okay this one may be directed at byler/byeler)

Will basically went from pre-pubescent to puberty without properly transitioning between the two, because he was either missing, possessed, or suffering from ptsd for like two years!! And when he's finally okay (mostly), all he wants to do is pretend things are how they used to be. He's not interested in relationships or love or whatever, poor boy just wants to play dnd and not worry or think about stupid grown-up stuff

The last thing he needs (imo) is MORE drama from a relationship. What he needs is someone to just be there for him.

~

I know, I'm a bitch, byeler/byler shippers will hate me (if they don't already) or maybe everyone hates me

But

I'm just tired

You can't just claim a ship is real or not but at the sAME TIMe ignore crucial details or facts okay ? (I mean okay, I guess you can, but like why??)

I am going to bed now, of I think of anything else to say, I will add it in the morning, and I am ready for the hate

❤️