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wen-kexing-apologist · 1 year ago

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Validation- In Which Lurking Turtles Try to Spare Me From Writing a Post by Essentially Plucking My Thoughts Right Out of My Head.

In her incredible post about community, @waitmyturtles posed (and answered) the question:

“Could the ATOTS story have held up WITHOUT Pat and Pran?”

I argue, no, because looking back on the last four episodes, the resolution of that four part story was never supposed to be about Pat and Pran, it was supposed to be about Phupa and Tian. In my opinion, the last four Our Skyy 2 episodes are made for Phupa and Tian.

Hell, it’s not even about Tian to me, this whole story is an arc for Phupa specifically.

I argue, Pat and Pran serve as the vessel by which Phupa is forced to confront his internalized homophobia and must decide whether or not to try to move past it.

This is a bold statement, so let me say right now that I watched ATOTS and Bad Buddy around the same time, and while I deeply enjoyed ATOTS I loved Bad Buddy and initially I found Phupa and Tian to be a rather boring, uncomplicated couple that obviously liked each other and refused to do anything about it, despite me not really seeing any obstacles for them getting together.

But because of now being familiar with Earth’s acting and because of Episode 3, I started to pay more attention to Phupa, made that internalized homophobia observation, and then managed, over the course of the four hours it took me to write that post to go from “You’re boring” to “lmao that’s my fucking guy” in regards to how I looked at Phupa.

And, not to toot my own horn, but I am feeling extremely validated in my read on Phupa and internalized homophobia in yesterday’s post after seeing the final episode of Our Skyy 2 x ATOTS.

@lurkingshan has already shared a lot of her thoughts (which honestly reflect a lot of my own) in regards to how Phupa has learned a lot from his interactions with Pat. @waitmyturtles has shared a lot of her thoughts (which honestly reflect a lot of my own) about how Aof’s stories so often center around queer Asian community. And tumblr has shared in abundance all the happy, lovey-dovey, moments between Pat and Pran and Phupa and Tian.

So I am not going to start there. I am going to start with the supporting evidence of Phupa’s internalized homophobia from Our Skyy 2’s final episode.

The first, when Phupa and Tian are getting dessert and Tian tries to feed him. He looks around anxiously and reminds Tian that they are in public.

Gifs from @ayan-sukkhapisit

Second, when Phupa and Tian are clothes shopping and Tian leans in to Phupa and says suggestively “You’re so handsome. You got a boyfriend?”

Even when Tian mentions the size of the crowd at the play, Phupa once again looks around anxiously, the weight of the realization that this many people are about to hear the story of his queerness hitting him.

Each of these moments is a point where Phupa’s internalized homophobia is flaring up, but, (and this is crucial) HE PUSHES THROUGH IT.

And that is thanks to Pat and Pran, but especially Pat.

Now (and hear me out here) Pran is fully responsible for getting Phupa to sign the consent form to put on the play. Pran’s moment of brutal honesty where he called out Phupa’s insecurities and confirmed they were also his own, is what led Phupa to realize that these chaotic, loud, and meddling children had a lot more going on than he first thought, and is what led to him confidently making the statement “No one gets us better than these two.”

Pran’s acknowledgement of his own insecurities in his relationship with Pat is enough for Phupa to understand that Pran is desperate to tell this story, his story for a reason.

But Pat? Pat’s continuous, unabashed, unrelenting, and obvious love for his boyfriend and then his continuous, unabashed, unrelenting, and obvious crush on/harassment of Phupa pushes Phupa out of his comfort zone. Pat and Tian may be the people who make the sacrifices in their relationships, but Pat is not Tian. Pat is willing to make sacrifices for Pran, Pat is willing to hide his queer desire for Pran. But Phupa is not Pran. So Phupa is Not Safe. Where Tian is patient and where Tian also tries to minimize/tone down his own feelings when he and Phupa are together in public, Pat sees Phupa, goes “oh that man is hot and repressed and I’m about to make myself his problem,” and then he puts his foot on the gas and does donuts in the parking lot.

At no point in their solo time together does Pat ever let up on Phupa. Thus, Phupa is forced to reconcile with his internalized homophobia, because he is both safe to do so by being in the woods without the rest of the village, and because Pat never stops reminding him that he is queer. Phupa sees how much Pat loves Pran and sees the way Pat and Pran interact with each other, touching knees, running in to each other’s arms, feeding each other, etc. and hears the insecurities Pran has in his relationship with Pat, and how much they mirror his own, and he realizes that he can feel insecure and still have a happy, loving relationship because he has spent hours upon hours of time listening to Pat brag about his boyfriend. The surface fight of who fell in love first is resolved by way of Phupa understanding that Tian can make all these sacrifices and still be madly in love with him. Phupa needed Tian to have fallen in love first so that he can be certain that he didn’t trap Tian here. Tian needed Phupa to have fallen in love first so that he can have security in a relationship where Phupa cannot overcome his insecurities (class, queerness, etc.) to be openly in love with Tian around others.

SO!

The resolution comes when Phupa decides that it is time for him to stop hiding

Gif from @gunsatthaphan

He pushes past his initial discomfort about the level of open affection he is receiving, but eventually relents to Pat’s flirtations and gives him a smile. It is as good as an admission for Pat that Phupa will, in fact, miss him and did, in fact, enjoy their time together.

He openly admires his Tian at the waterfall, he asks to be played with.

He corrects the narrative, and finally does what we all thought he would do, and “steals” the kiss he wanted to steal all those years ago

Gif by @liyazaki

He fucks his boyfriend

Gif by @liyazaki

He woos his boyfriend by rolling up to Bangkok in a car that is almost certainly out of his price range looking hot as hell.

He takes photos of Tian “the food”

Gif from @boyslovesource

And where we saw a momentary flare up of his internalized homophobia in the cafe, because that mentality is not something that is broken in a night, he powers through and allows himself to be fed.

And at the clothing store too, he initially bristles at Tian’s flirtation but very quickly reciprocates it

He signs the contract. He actively and intentionally allows Pran and Pat to tell his story, to celebrate his queerness.

And he comes to see the play. To see the story of he and Tian’s love. The story that until only recently he refused to even finish. And while Tian is surprised that Pat and Pran are playing them, Phupa is not. Partially because he put the stipulations on it, but also because Pat and Pran have chosen to portray the unexpected, but absolutely personality accurate character. Pat is an unexpected Tian if you go off of looks, but Pat serves the role that Tian does in his relationship and therefore is absolutely the perfect choice to play Tian.

(Honestly, thinking about it more, that choice may have also contributed to Phupa’s comment that no one gets them better than those two. Because he sees them acknowledge their own roles in their own relationship based on who they chose to portray.)

Now, something that I also picked up on, but that @chickenstrangers mentions as well is the following:

“We got to see Phupha and Tian's reactions to the play highlighted, seeing that they appreciated the portrayal. We also saw Ink and Pa's reactions, how moved they were by the play and Pat and Pran being able to portray it; how the story was received by other queer people. These special episodes are exploring the tension between needing to hide and wanting to be seen and open, and in the play, both Phupha and Tian, and Pat and Pran got to open a little bit about themselves to others. Even though it is Tian and Phupha's story on stage, Pat and Pran are telling their own as well.”

And it struck me, as I was going back through the episode to pull screen shots that Ink and Pa also watch the mosquito net scene and ask “why does he have to poke his face so close to him?”

Which indicates to me that Ink and Pa are also expecting a kiss from Phupa and Tian and, not getting one, they wonder why he’s gonna get this close only to not do anything.

Which strikes me as yet another example of the young queer couple not understanding where intimacy can be a struggle for older queers.

Secondarily, Phupa requesting that Pat and Pran portray Phupa and Tian does, in fact, set them up to be openly in love and to have plausible deniability. Phupa doesn’t know that they are going to kiss, and in fact, they were not supposed to. But they do. They get to be open they way the want to be open, the way they wish they could be open. And they get to do it by being vessels for Phupa and Tian’s story.

I actually don’t have much to say here in terms of analysis, but dammit if I’m not emo about the Circle of Queers. Look at all them, standing around, being in community with one another. Happy Pride everyone!

AND THEN PHUPA COMES TO FUCKING DINNER!!!!

He lets Tian spend money on him, he finally does the one thing Tian has hoped for all these years, and celebrates his birthday. Comes as his partner, interacts with Tian’s parents.

And is rewarded for it by learning that he had nothing to fear. Tian’s parents are impressed with Phupa’s dedication, the filial nature of his service, the choice he made to move to PPD because his father loved it.

And far more important, Tian’s parents entrust Tian into Phupa’s care.

And, if you want to get in to outdated concepts of queerness, masculinity, husband/wife whatever, then it is also important to acknowledge that Phupa ends the episode getting fucked by his fiance

Gif from @gunsatthaphan

And he engages in sex with his partner while his coworker and friend is right outside the door, fully aware of what they are doing. Now, we know from ATOTS that this is not the first time that Yod has heard them having sex. But crucially, in ATOTS, Phupa was not aware that Yod was outside the door.

Now, I know what you are thinking, readers “W-K-A, why did you skip over the most important part of Phupa’s self acceptance journey?”

IT’S BECAUSE I’M SAVING THE BEST FOR LAST OKAY??????? Hush.

The culminating event of this episode, and of the entire four episode arc, is Phupa’s proposal to Tian.

Gifs by @liyazaki

Tian’s part of the fight came from fearing that Phupa wasn’t going to fully committed to him. The constant refusal to go to his birthday, one of the few times a year that Tian sees the rest of his family, serves to make Tian feel like Phupa doesn’t consider himself to be Tian’s family.

Now, back to my argument that this ATOTS story couldn’t have happened without Pat and Pran is that I am not entirely certain that Phupa and Tian were completely aware of what the underlying problem was. And if they were, they certainly weren’t going to talk about it. Tian may still have trudged up the mountain to find Torfun’s diary, and he might still have gotten lost, and Phupa might still have had to rescue him, but Phupa needed to see how a relationship dynamic like his was capable of working.

Back to Phupa’s internalized homophobia, putting a ring on Tian’s finger is both a confirmation to Tian that Phupa is fully and completely committed to him but also a PHYSICAL. VISUAL. INDICATOR OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP.

There is no benefit of the doubt, there is no plausible deniability. No matter where Phupa and Tian go, if they go together the world will know they are a couple. Phupa cannot hide from his queerness walking next to Tian with that ring on Tian’s finger.

Gif from @thebvbbletea

I know there are many people that wanted more of a stout resolution for Pat and Pran in these episodes. But that wasn’t the point Aof was making. Pat and Pran’s storyline in these episodes feels unresolved because Pat and Pran’s resolution doesn’t come until Episode 12. I understand that these analysis may have gotten me too focused on Phupa, but I don’t know. I can’t shake the feeling that this four part crossover was about Phupa. Pat doesn’t change much, Pran doesn’t change much, because we watched Bad Buddy. Because we have already seen the changes they have made to be with each other. Because there is never going to be balance in Pat and Pran’s relationship as long as Dissaya remains the way she currently is. (I’m taking this from a conversation I had with @shortpplfedup, @bengyio, @waitmyturtles, @lurkingshan, and @ginnymoonbeam). Tian doesn’t change much because he was always the one compromising, because he is committed to Phupa. It is Phupa who goes through the most significant changes.

It is Phupa who had to get comfortable with their relationship being on display in the form of diaries

It is Phupa who had to get comfortable with those diaries showing him being in love with Tian.

It is Phupa who has to get comfortable with Pat’s explicit queerness.

It is Phupa who had to get comfortable with public displays of affection.

PPD is a village removed from most things, there is a vibrant and loving community there. But it means they are removed from overarching society. Phupa needs to see the younger generation of queers being comfortable and confident in their sexuality. Phupa needs to see the younger generation being comfortable and confident in their love. Phupa needs to see that the younger generation isn’t worried about people knowing they are queer, he needs to see them be explicit in their love for each other. No code words, no euphemisms, just a boy and his boyfriend and his boyfriend’s scent. And I think that in order for Phupa to resolve his internalized homophobia, he needed to meet Pat and Pran. I think interacting with Pran made him view Pat and Pran’s relationship as an adult one, granting it infinitely more respect and credibility in his eyes, and interacting with Pat made him realize that it is much safer now to be gay that it once was.

Anyway, I’m going to go cry about “We finally have a thousand stars now” for the rest of forever now, thank you.

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