#our little arsonist is having fun folks

[morningstargirl666]

In the spirit of reassuring everyone, yes, I am still working on the next chapter of TBBW, and yes, I do plan on posting it before the month is out even if it kills me-

This is vibes I was manifesting for Kol in this chapter:

[entities-of-posts]

hello archivist!

i was wondering what your personal ranking of entities based on how much you like them/think theyre neat (if the corruption isnt #1 i will crawl through your window like a worm (threatening))

Hmmm if we’re just going on Vibes and not alignment, it would go a little like this…

The assholes zone:

15. The Desolation. Like the fire aesthetic, hate everything else about it and most of its avatars I’ve met (present company excluded, of course. None of you budding arsonists that occasionally come visit my Archive have antagonized me too much yet which I appreciate.)

14. The Slaughter. Personal grudge. Anyway the Hunt does everything it does but better. Except the music, gotta give it that.

13. The Extinction. New and exciting to figure out, but still the manifestation of one of the shittiest, most infuriating phenomenon of our era.

The “meh” zone:

12. The Dark. Kinda boring and always hiding stuff from Sight, which are both up there on my list of highest crimes. Also feels like it could do better but it just doesn’t, which is disappointing and annoying.

11. The Buried. So-so. Caves are pretty cool though, but only as long as they don’t actually crush you into a pulp, so… It actually takes caves and make them less fun.

10. The Lonely. Mopey. Statements always taste somehow too salty and flavorless at once. Depressing, no kick to them. I can appreciate a good fog though.

9. The Flesh. Meat is meat, whatever, who hasn’t eaten a little bit of human flesh at some point, not worth the fuss. Feels like its avatars could do some pretty impressive body sculptures, but most just… don’t do anything that interesting, which is probably because everyone who’s got gory inclinations but also actual artistic talent goes with the Stranger.

8. The End. I personally don’t especially worry or care about it, but the aesthetic is a solid 8/10 and its avatars are usually polite.

The cool kids zone:

7. The Corruption. (I know, I know, not first place. Sorry Anna.) Like the bugs, like the mushrooms, a little less fond of the plagues. Statements are a bit of an acquired taste, but you get used to the whiff of mold eventually. Actually kinda sweet, which is pretty rare for Dread Powers. Endearing.

6. The Stranger. Fun loving folks, throw absolutely indescribable parties which is both a pro and a con, easily one of the best styles, and a real sense of grotesque and panache I truly appreciate in a statement. Kind of annoying to try and See through all the smoke and mirrors though.

5. The Hunt. Not always the most pleasant of avatars, but how exhilarating! Truly gets your blood pumping like nothing else! Neither my favorite nor least favorite aesthetic-wise, but an old classic for sure.

4. The Vast. Whose heart doesn’t skip a beat at the sight of the immensity? Who doesn’t feel l’appel du vide tugging at their guts? Isn’t the vertigo just like infatuation, when you think about it? Very very beautiful, maybe a bit too open and empty to have the kind of mystery that really pulls me it.

3. The Eye. Hi 👁 Well obviously I like this one, don’t think I need to expend on that. All the extra eyeballs are a really good look if I do say so myself. We’re a bunch of nerds though I can’t deny it.

2. The Spiral. I’ve spoken at length about how fascinating and exasperating this one is already. Very enthralling colors and pattern that always gets burned into my retinas and give me a headache because I keep staring too long. Avatars can be the cockiest most chaotic bastards out there but they’re always fun and interesting and some of them are even nice. Also I’m honestly so jealous of the Doors those seem so unfairly useful.

1. The Web. Absolute queen. Unlike the Eye, not so busy being knowledgeable she forgets to be clever. I am far far too fond of the Spiders for my own good and they can be so frustratingly secretive but you don’t have all the facts. Which are: I love them.

There we go! Yes I put two of the most violent and destructive Entities at the very bottom of the list, what are they gonna do, try to kill me again? Probably, but look how well that went last time.

[orangetail-works]

A Phoenix and a Raven: Can I Pick?

A/N: This came from a group of unrelated dialogue options that kind of became smooshed together.  I liked how one fit and then the other followed, so it's going to be a fun one to write.  It's going to be a little while after the battle in Ulstead with a few of the queen's sympathizers coming back around.

Chapter: Can I Pick?

It felt like years had passed in the following months after the wedding of Queen Aurora of the Moors and Prince Phillip of Ulstead. Communication and trade between the humans and the Fair Folk had never run as smoothly as it did now that peace reigned. Both Fey creatures and humans were able to say they were of one kingdom and able to live day to day with no fear of one another.

That's not to say that there were no challenges when it came to the change. Many of the Dark Fey still held a grudge toward the humans for driving them into exile, and many humans held a distaste to those who had attacked them on what was to be a joyful day of celebration. There were old ways of thinking that hindered the healing and grieving process for both sides. Borra being the most vocal of his distaste of human actions in the past had ruffled more than one human's feathers. While once-prominent councilmen told old tales of their grandfathers and their wars with the beasts of the Moors.

Aurora and Phillip were quick to quiet the negative talk and most of the time succeeded. Especially when Maleficent stepped into the discussions.

Three months into the new blended kingdom and a large fire bloomed at the border between the Moors and the farms at the edge of the Ulstead Hamlet. The flames were put out in short order with the combined efforts of both the water nymphs of the Moors, three of the Dark Fey that lived near the border and the two farmers and their sons who tended the crops. The combined forces helped one another stop the threat to their homes and the fire never reached what couldn't be replaced.

Maleficent and Diaval landed at the sight just before a large cart of three men made it from Ulstead. Maleficent nodded to the Fair Folk and Dark Fey who bowed their heads toward her and Diaval as they have all now learned of her raven. She then turned her attention to the farmers.

“Are you all uninjured?” she asked calmly as she looked from each of them, “It looked like the fire grew rapidly.”

“We were lucky that the nymphs and fey were nearby,” one of the farmers smiled gratefully at the Fair Folk and then nervously worried his hat in his hands as he stood before Maleficent. She saw the movement but didn't fault the man any. Many of the Dark Fey have their own nervous tells when they talk with her as well. Most beings do with the exception of Aurora and Diaval. The farmer cleared his throat, “It didn't get to too many of the crops, if at all.”

“Good to hear,” Diaval nodded and noticed the wagon of men that just pulled up at the roadside. He turned to the nymphs and Dark Fey, “Thank you for your help, but it looks like it's in hand. Go on home.”

The Dark Fey nodded and flew into the air while the water nymphs blended back into the vegetation of the Moors and into the small streams just inside the magic boundary. The farmers waved at them as they flew off or disappeared.

One farmer turned to the men from the wagons, “You are a little late, sirs. The fire was taken care of.”

The first man on the ground, an older soldier from the look of him, walked past the farmer without a single glance, “We're not here for the fire.”

Two other young men came out from the back of the wagon and followed their friend toward where Maleficent and Diaval stood. Maleficent's feathers began to ruffle at the men's approach and her eyes noticed the iron swords at their hips. She turned to the farmer closest to her, “I think you and yours should get to safety. I don't think this will be a pleasant meeting.”

“Yes, ma'am,” he nodded and pushed at his son toward their home. The other farmer did the same even as he threw a worried glance in Maleficent's direction. She only gave him a subtle nod before her attention turned back to the men ahead of her and Diaval.

“Those are some very fancy iron swords you got there, friends,” Diaval started the conversion and stood between them and Maleficent. He opened his hands on either side of him to show that he held no weapons of his own against them, “I would appreciate it if you kept them in their sheaths.”

All three men promptly brandished their swords and held them level toward Maleficent.

“Or you can totally ignore me,” Diaval huffed, put his hands on his hips and looked over his shoulder at Maleficent, “I don't think they are a listening bunch.”

“Or they are in pain,” Maleficent noticed the blank, pointed stares from the men. She took only a single step toward the men who all but stopped on her approach. She tilted her head at the action and narrowed her eyes, “Tell me. Who did you lose in the battle at the castle?”

“My brother,” the older soldier said and nodded his head to either side to the young men on either side of him, “They both lost their fathers. Just three men out of the many that were slaughtered by you and your kind that day.”

“Along with the countless of innocent Fair Folk trapped in a church and Moor Folk running for cover,” Diaval reminded him and put his hands back up in a placating manner when the swords shifted toward him, “We all lost someone in that battle.”

“Did we?” the man growled and looked at Maleficent, “Because she is still here and so is the Queen of the Moors.”

“The Queen of the Moors is your queen now too,” Maleficent reminded him.

“That girl is no queen of mine! And I will make sure you and she will both pay for my father!” one of the younger men shouted and lunged toward Maleficent to find himself quickly on the ground to the side of Diaval. Diaval held a foot on his hand to make sure that it couldn't grip the iron sword.

“That is what I believe is called treason to threaten your queen,” Diaval hummed and leaned further on the man's hand to make him shout in pain before he stepped back and kicked the iron sword out of reach.

“We are here to finish what Queen Ingrith had begun,” the older man announced and took another step forward.

“Not a good idea,” Diaval warned him and watched his approach carefully.

“I will have that monster's head!” he yelled and stabbed his sword in the air toward Maleficent.

Diaval stepped in front of him, just an inch from the tip of the man's sword, “I'm trying my best to be polite, but if you move that sword any closer to her, I will tear you apart.”

“What is an unarmed bird going to do?” the man asked and pushed his sword ever so slightly forward to rest it against Diaval's chest.

“Diaval,” Maleficent warned, her voice held a note of worry.

“Not to worry, Mistress,” he smirked at the man and at his sword as it laid quietly on his chest. He took a quick look to her behind him with raised brows, “Can I pick? I'm thinking something bigger than a dog this time.”

“No dragons,” her hands glowed gold with an almost annoyed look at him, “They just put out a fire.”

“No dragons,” he nodded in agreement.

Her magic flowed to him and he suddenly wasn't a man anymore. Fur covered him from head to foot and he fell to his hands and knees as a giant beak grew from his face to take a form of a hardened muzzle of a giant black bear. He roared as his frame grew and filled out with muscle and claws. His black eyes opened as a gold color as he focused his gaze on the two boys that were now behind the soldier. He roared loudly over the man's head toward the other two.

The two younger men backpedaled and ran toward the wagon they came in. The older man only took a couple of steps back until he fell back into the grass behind him. His sword fell from his grasp as he tried to crawl away from the massive bear on all fours. Diaval stood on his hind legs and looked down at the man. His eyes narrowed and he fell forward, his huge arms beat the ground under them as he trapped the man in between his substantial arms. The man turned on his back as he stared at the creature above him. Diaval roared again down at him and then sneezed in his face.

“That's quite enough, Diaval,” Maleficent called out to him. She slowly walked up to Diaval's side and placed her hand along his back to calm him. Diaval looked at her, his colossal head swung to the side to give her his attention, “I am sure the human now understands what you meant. No need to follow through. Isn't that right?”

Diaval's head turned back to study the human under him. The man only nodded viciously. Diaval growled at the man but then huffed out a breath before he crawled off of the man.

“Take my advice,” Maleficent looked at the man still in the grass, “Mourn your lost ones, but let go of the hate. It changes you, but it will not change the outcome of brash decisions. Those of which you may not be able to bear the consequences of.”

“My brother is gone,” he whimpered and tried to sit up, his eyes focused on the bear at her side, “Nothing can change that. Who is to answer for it?”

“She's currently a goat at the moment,” Maleficent commented nonchalantly, “Not sure what the next punishment shall be.”

“Lady Maleficent,” a voice carried over to them.

Maleficent looked down the road and saw Percival on horseback with a few soldiers behind him. Another two soldiers were down a little further next to what looked like a very familiar wagon.

“Guard Captain Percival,” Maleficent greeted with a slight bow of her head, “I see that you found our arsonists.”

“One of the farmers flagged us down as we came to see to the fire,” he reported and saw the frightened man on the ground and the black bear behind Maleficent, “Everything alright?”

“I think it will be in time,” Maleficent answered and glanced down at the man again.

He flinched away and looked at the guard captain, “Please take me out of here, sir.”

“Get him into the wagon with the others,” Percival ordered one of his men who did exactly that. Percival led his horse closer to her and the black bear as he spotted a couple of the swords nearby, “Iron?”

“Yes,” Maleficent answered easily and didn't even look at the offending weapons.

“Are you injured?”

“They didn't have a chance to harm me,” she placated him as Diaval rubbed his head against her arm. She smiled softly at him and ran a hand over his head, “Diaval had it in hand.”

“I am sure he did,” Percival nodded at the raven-bear.

Maleficent snapped her fingers and he turned into a man once again, “I always do.”

“Those men lost those close to them in the battle,” Maleficent explained, “They needed someone to play their villain.”

“I just wish they wouldn't choose you all the time,” Diaval muttered.

“You do sometimes give off the impression that you want to murder everyone you look at,” Percival offered with a teasing smirk.

“Only when the mood hits me,” Maleficent offered back with her own sneer.

“I will leave you two now. Be safe,” Percival chuckled lightly and nudged his horse back to his men and their trip back to the castle with new prisoners in tow.

“Well, that was uneventful,” Diaval blew some of his hair from his eyes.

“Uneventful? You had a sword at your chest,” she frowned at him to let him know she was a little cross with him.

“You said it, I had it in hand,” he reminded her, “You wouldn't let him hurt me, just like I wouldn't let him hurt you. Better me than you anyway. I could potentially live after being stabbed by iron.”

“You could perish being stabbed by anything, Diaval,” she muttered and stretched out her wings, “You are infuriating.”

“Don't forget charming,” he added and stepped right in front of her, his face in front of her own, “I'm here to serve you until I can no longer do so. That means I protect you in every way that I can. I protect what I hold the most dear to me.”

She took a deep breath and looked up into his dark eyes as she reminded herself out loud, “I am cross with you.”

“But..” he urged.

“But nothing!” she hissed and then rolled her eyes to look away from him, “Right now, I don't know if I want to kiss you or shove you off a bridge.”

There was a long pause until she looked back at him. He tilted his head and furrowed his brows, “Can I pick?”

[deathfm]

(  margaret qualley.  nineteen.  she/her.  )   everything’s fine,  WEDNESDAY ADDAMS,  you’re in the good place!  do you remember your last days in  THE ADDAM’S FAMILY VALUES? but don’t worry, your  ( chipped black nail polish, a sweet smile that promises nothing good, hollowness in her dark eyes, a dark monotone )  will fit perfectly with the rest of the good place, so long as you commit to the  MANIC PIXIE DREAM GIRL  despite your tendency to commit to  ( apathy )  that the architect of the good place said you were. it’ll just be like a fun acting exercise! just play along and everything will continue to be fun. (  pepper.  twenty three.  est.  she/her)

ABOUT THE MUN.  gay in the house and i’m in the house gay

hey bitch, do you really, really, really wanna go hard? hello all! my name is pepper. i meant to do this intro bit a bit earlier but i got very distracted by dr. stone so i apologize for that! i am also going to apologize in advance because i 1. have not rped in like three weeks and frankly you’re gonna be able to tell, i am very rusty and 2. i haven’t been in a multifandom rp.... in at least like a year, so i’m also very rusty at that! that said i freaking love the good place and i could not pass up this opportunity! if anyone has watched the show and wants to cry with me over jason mendoza,,,, hit your girl up. that said omg okay a bit about me: i say omg, like, and literally way too often, so sorry about that in advance. i’m also very canadian, which probably explains all the apologizing sdkjsdk. i work in a grocery store so i’m technically essential which means i will be disappearing semi often to do long ass shifts at work (rip) but i’m almort always lurking on mobile or discord so pleathe,,, hmu. and finally plotting and exchanging headcannons and things? my freaking lifeblood. i live for that shit. please talk to me, i’m beggin’. okay sdkjdskj now onto some stuff about everybody’s favourite goth girl, ms wednesday addams. 

CHARACTERIZATION.  sorry for being a dark sorcerer. as if its my fault.

okay, if you’ve ever watched any addam’s family content... i am really not deviating much from that. the daughter of a rather eccentric morbid family who grew up rather eccentric and morbid herself. has always had a facination with death that she now just gets to nurture in this environment (although lowkey wednesday is kind of dissapointed by the whole set up i’m not gonna lie). you get the vibe.

died in 1993! the height of rock and roll, pop boy bands, and chokers. 

definitely lowkey thinks that she’s a disappointment to her family for ending up in the good place in the first place. will be thrilled when it’s eventually revealed that this is the bad place. or well, as thrilled as wednesday gets. 

wednesday addams is a demigirl and you can’t change my mind. honestly considering making her straight agender tbh, because that just seems like fact to me. 

a bisexual icon. hates everybody but hates everybody equally. will fuck your shit up if you’re misogynistic, homophobic or racist. let me direct y’all to this video cause this is fact. 

kind of an arsonist honestly. loves to set things aflame. definitely did indeed set her summer camp on fire. is pretty proud of it. 

lowkey will miss her family so much while up here. she never really had friends outside of her family, like not real genuine ones. wednesday’s never really truly been on her own until the afterlife and she’s honestly a bit unsettled by it. won’t let it show in the slightest though, honestly you’d be sure pressed to see wednesday’s veil of indifference break for even a moment. that said, she definitely misses pugsley and lurch the most even though she’ll never admit it. might get lonely enough to actually attempt to find herself a friend we’ll see. 

truly a little bit witchy, but like regular person witchy considering wednesday never had any powers in cannon and certainly doesn’t now. will do a seance in her place to attempt to see if she can reach the mortal realm. is very seriously wondering where the demons are. would have a lot of medieval weapons in her place if it really was catered to her, but seeing as things are meant to be a bit off wednesday’s place is probably filled with stuffed animals and dolls, but not even creepy dolls... but cute ones. the whole room is bubble gum pink and whenever she tries to paint the walls black they just revert back... she’s mad about it honestly. 

that said wears black and only black at all times but that should be a given. 

is definitely wondering where her ex joel is. like she figured he would have popped up here after she scared him to death and so she’s a bit confused, but rolling with it. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS.  winks with my third eye

A SUSPICIOUS BYSTANDER. honestly i would die,,, for someone who realizes that wednesday definitely doesn’t belong here and mayhaps a team cockroach situation? like they both know they’re in the wrong place and they try to help each other hide it. please,,, i need it. 

PARTNER IN CRIME. kind of the new pugsley but it might be more of an equal relationship. basically someone who wednesday can drag into her messes. the person on the other side of the seance circle... they catch each other’s gaze through the incense smoke,,, the romance of it all no i’m kidding sorry sdkjdsj but i do want this connection!

UNLIKELY PAIR. an april and andy situation. they are complete opposites, one the doom and gloom and the other sunshine and rainbows,,, and yet someone it works. wednesday would kill someone for them.

TWO PEAS IN A POD. the opposite of the other connection because these two meet and just instantly click! they both have so much hate deep inside of them! and now they can share this hate with each other! it’s a match made in heaven (badum tsss) and probably one of the first times wednesday actually wants to really try to be friends with someone. 

CRUSH. either on wednesdays end or theirs i just feel like this could be really fun! 

ENEMY. someone who hates wednesday and who wednesday hates in return. their personalities just really clash, and wednesday knows that if she ever really does find herself in hell, she’s dragging them with her. 

UNSUSPECTING NEIGHBOUR. i don’t know why but i just find the concept of there just being some poor schmuck who wednesday pesters for like a lock of their hair or something. like they don’t deserve this. but she’s bored here in paradise and she’s making a bit of a game out of creeping them out. after all, what else is there to do?

and anything else under the sun folks, i would love to plot something specific to our muses out! so yes, smash that like button and i will come running!

[noelacciari]

alright this is kinda bad but I'm gonna ask anyway. so I'm a new/casual hockey fan and this girl I'm friends w is super into hockey and I'm kinda having to bluff my way through convos rn so could you give me a basic summary of the roster and stuff pls :)))

okay babe, so this is how we’re gonna set this up for you… personality quiz style. (also wait I’m assuming you mean Bruins so. im very sorry if this was about another team lol)

Step 1: pick your star

- Do you strive for perfection? Do you look for stability in a relationship? Can you appreciate a good beard? Do you need a perfect man to project all your feelings regarding men onto and then you never have to even look at another man in real life? Then Patrice Bergeron is the guy for you. He’s perfect. Like legit. Has been nominated for the Selke Award (best defensive forward) approximately a gazillion times, eventually they’re going to change it to The Bergy. Gorgeous play maker, dominate on the face-off circle. Quiet leader in the room. A pillar of the Boston community. The only person who can tame Marchand (we’ll get to him later). Every person in New England is AT LEAST 30% in love with him, regardless of sexual orientation. (I’m not even kidding). Future Hall of Famer. Without a doubt. (Forward (Center), #37, first line)

- Do you enjoy carbs? How about charming smiles? Do you enjoy men who toe the lines of fashion? Do you like a show, flashy lights and stunning tricks? Do you like people who make you smile, no matter how bad your day is? Then David Pastrnak is your man. Better know as Pasta (said with a deep Boston accent), he’s been tearing up the ice from the moment he arrived in TD Garden. A member of the Best Top Line in the League (alongside Bergeron - and that other guy who we will get to later). His goals are always absolutely nasty, just. Sexy, sexy hockey. Off the ice he’s sunshine personified, known for his chipped tooth smile, wearing checked suits and floral shirt, and just being generally the best. (Forward (winger), #88, first line)

- Are human sized chipmunks something you think would be pretty cool? How do you feel about Long Island? Would you think it’s funny if a guy who was a star player on a Boston team dated the daughter of a Pittsburgh coach? Do you think it’s even funnier if a guy who tweeted “I hate the Bruins” then proceeds to get drafted by them? Then Charlie McAvoy is your star d-man. At the ripe old age of 21, Long Island native Charlie McAvoy already carries a huge chunk of responsibility on the Bruins defense core. A future leader for the team (captain. imo), Charlie puts up incredible minutes, and is the perfect complement to his d-partner Zdeno Chara (we’ll get to him too). Also known as Cheeks (on tumblr) or Mac (by his teammates), Charlie isn’t afraid to throw his weight around on the ice, and he looks good doing it. Dude is a Bonafide Stallion. (Defense, #73, 1st Pair)

Step 2: Pick your Dad

- Are you vegetarian? How do you feel about EXTREMELY tall men wearing easter bunny onesies? Do you prefer to bike to work instead of taking the train? what about pigeons? If you consider pigeons friends, then Zdeno Chara is your new dad! (Boogie Woogie Woogie). You know how Bruins fans like to say - Don’t Poke The Bear? Well Big Zee is that hypothetical bear. Our beloved captain and father earned himself quite the reputation on the ice, known for his hard AF slap shots and even harder punches. Clocking in at 6′9″ and 250lbs, Zad is still a beast at 42 years old - and he apparently has no plans to retire. While his age doesn’t appear to be slowing him down on the ice, Zee has shown his softer side off the ice with his inspirational and extremely cute Instagram. He came into Boston in 2006 and was named Captain upon signing, and has forever changed the culture of the Boston Bruins. Chara facilitates an inclusive but hard working locker room, and his legacy will live on in Boston long after his retirement. (Defense, #33, first pair)

- Are you a dog person? Also are you American? Those are really the only 2 qualifications you need to chose David Backes as your dad. Although some of us older folks like me (at the stunningly old, reaching retirement age of 26) might consider Backes to be more of a daddy, the majority of Bruins tumblr view him as their Dad. Common nicknames include Dadkes and Papa, and his effect on the team after being brought back into the line-up during the playoffs has endeared him to fans. While his deal is… not great (he’s expensive!!) and he hasn’t performed up to how much money he’s paid, it’s clear that he’s a leader on the team. The young guys look up to him, and the older guys respect him, and that’s what we’s appreciates ‘bout him. Also. He LOVES animals. Backes and his wife Kelly (who have known each other since kindergarten how cute is that shit) have their own charity that helps animals!! (Forward (Winger/Center), #42, currently 2nd line)

- Were you really into magic as a kid (or currently)? Have you always gravitated to your one friend’s dad who was super quiet but super smart and taught you how to play chess at that cookout one time? Then your new dad is David Krejci! Sometimes called The Wizard, Krejci is known to make magic happen on the ice. Between no-look passes and somehow being able to know exactly where his wingers are going to be before they even know, tbh. Krej is probably the MOST underrated player on the Bruins, but he’s always dependable, and always seems to be there when you need him.  (Forward (Center), #46, 2nd Line)

Step 3: pick your weirdo

- Have you never eaten a vegetable willingly in your life? Do you consider yourself a chef - specifically for children? Do you think getting your teeth knocked out is fun and exciting? Then Jake “JD” DeBrusk is the dude for you! Goofy AF off the ice and a sniper on it, Jake is extremely worthy of being your chosen weirdo. He has a lucky winter hat named “tuukka” that he’s been wearing all playoffs, and he might only have one brain cell but we love him for it. At one point called a draft bust, Jake has been proving himself to be an elite player, and has been a steady winger for Krejci all season. Plus. He’s cute af. (Forward (winger), #74, 2nd Line)

- Is getting under other people’s skin one of your favorite activities? Do you like to piss people off by being better than them at everything? Does licking someone’s face in the middle of a hockey game seem like a Good Idea to you? Back in step number one did you chose Patrice Bergeron as your Lord and Savior? Then Boston’s favorite Pest - Brad Marchand - is the guy for you! Brad started off as an undersized fourth liner, and has worked his way up to one of the top scorers in the league. Outside of Boston he’s probably the most hated player in the NHL - earning himself a reputation for being a pest (at best), and sometimes being dirty (at worst). This year we are proud to announce that he did not get suspended once! Though he did come in just short of 100 Penalty Minutes. Marchy was our top scorer this year, and has become an integral part of this team. (Forward (winger), #63, 1st Line)

- Are you secretly an arsonist? Are frogs your favorite animal? Do you have a crush on that Pretty Jock that’s in all your classes and sometimes smiles at you in the lunch line? Then Danton Heinen is the weirdo for you. Danton has been a quietly steady performer for the Bruins this season, spending time on the top line with Bergeron and Marchand when Pasta was out. He’s growing into quite the play maker, and he’s known for making good decisions on the ice that lead to goals. Danton also happens to look like a frog, which is an important character trait imo. He’s a tumblr favorite, but he’s a good person to like even in real life, because he makes an impact on the ice. (Forward (winger), #43, 3rd Line)

Step 4: chose your conventionally attractive white boy

- OKay we’re not doing the questions thing because judging by your ask you may not even be interested in men so i’m just going to dive straight into the description. He’s tall with a strong jaw and perfect curls and pecs of a God. Charlie Coyle is a Weymouth, MA native who Boston brought back home at the trade deadline. He’s been a bit of a hero this playoff run, and he looks damn good doing it. The B’s have been searching for a good 3rd line center, and Charlie has filled the role perfectly. Personally, I am deeply in love with him, in case you could not tell. (Forward (center/winger), #13, 3rd Line)

- an integral member of the Bruin’s all important Line 1A (aka the 4th line), Sean Kuraly has got it all. Piercing blue eyes? Check. Perfectly highlighted hair? Check. Cute little chin? Double check. Though he’s been photographed wearing jorts and an open flannel shirt with nothing underneath it, Sean is still a certified Babe. He’s been Klutch in every playoff run he’s had with the B’s, and is the scoring force behind the 4th Line’s brawn. Not to mention, his signature celly is a leap from the ice! (Forward, (center/winger), #52, 4th Line)

- Brandon Carlo… how do I begin to explain Brandon Carlo? Brandon Carlo is flawless. He has two bible tattoos and a designer bulldog. I hear his hair is insured for $10,000. I hear he does Tri-City Americans commercials… in Washington. His favorite movie is Miracle. One time he met David Backes on a plane… and he told him he was pretty. One time he punched me in the face… it was awesome (’cause he missed). In all seriousness though, Monte is a hardworking, defensive defenseman, who has really shone this season. He doesn’t show up on the scoreboard often, but he makes it really hard for other teams to get goals. Even though he struggles to score empty netters... he’s still a babe. (Defense, #25, 2nd Pair)

Step 5: Chose your shorty

- If you’re thinking - wait, shouldn’t Marchand be in this category? Isn’t he the smallest guy in the World? Then Torey Krug is the Short King for you. An ELITE offensive defenseman, Torey is absolute dynamite on the ice. In game 3 of the Stanley Cup Finals Torey made history by becoming the first Bruins player ever to record 4 points in a stanley cup finals game. Krug is quick on his feet and can snipe from the blue line, but isn’t afraid to lay down the law when he needs to. Notorious for loosing his helmet so he can show off that flow, Torey also has a bulldog named fenway and a BABY on the way. (Defense, #47, 2nd Pair).

- Is talk shit, get hit a favorite saying of yours? Can you appreciate biceps the size of your head? Then Noel Acciari is your man. He might be short but he’s built like a tank, and he uses that bod to plow through guys on the ice. Noeldozer is known for laying down the cleanest hits, and we love when he takes out the trash! The Rhode Island Native got married last summer, and has a golden retriever named Thor. His mouth is currently fucked right up but I promise he’s actually kinda pretty. (Forward (winger/center), #55, 4th Line)

- Are you one of the apparent hoards of people that think a Boston accent is sexy? Could you get into a guy who says the fuck word on live television? Are collarbone tattoos a thing you admire? Do you like sexy, tough little son’s of bitches? Great! Matt Grzelcyk is the little guy for you. A BU grad who’s become a cornerstone of the Bruins d-core, Grz is a tough little cutie who works hard and gets shit done. More of an offensive defenseman, Matty G has been there for the team even when all of our other defenseman were injured. His Dad has worked at the Gahden for like a million years, and playing for the B’s is a dream come true for Matt and his family. He got taken out in Game 2 of the Finals, and the Bruins are currently seeking revenge. Dude’s got a good beard going too. (Defense, #48, 3rd Pair)

Step 6: Pick your goalie

- As much as we love Jaro, there’s only one goalie you need to know about when you’re learning about the Bruins... 2 U’s 2 K’s 2 Points... Tuukka Rask! The clear MVP of the Playoffs this year, Tuukka has been a brick wall in the net for the B’s. He’s known for being quick tempered and a little... wild, at times, having been caught on camera beating the shit out of a bunch of milk crates and on time brandishing a skate blade at the refs like a knife. Though some fans seem to never forgive Tuukka for the B’s loosing the 2013 playoffs, around these parts we love and respect and rely on his prowess in the net. Off ice, he kinda looks like the grinch (and knows it), though apparently Bergy thinks he looks like Harry Styles (i wish i was kidding). He’s also got 2 adorable little girls! (GOALIE, starter)

So now you’ve got 6 guys that you know about, right? I would pick 1 or 2 of those to be the ones you pay attention to. Listen for headlines about their goals/play, if you’re watching games, look for their numbers on the ice. All you gotta do is be able to say “Wow did you see that Coyle goal on Saturday night?” and all of a sudden you sound like an expert! (This works even better of you choose a guy not from the first category). 

If you have more questions about specific players or lines, feel free to reach out! I know not a lot but I know many people who actually do know things lol

(Also to any of Bruins tumblr who made it this far, I KNOW i’m missing your faves okay. Wagner, Clifton, Nordy, MoJo, Moore, and half the providence roster deserve a spot on here. But I’ve already written too much)

(Also Also, special thanks to Lil for helping me with Monte’s description) 

[im-hiding22]

7:49 P.M.

The screaming stopped for a little brief moment.

“Oh, hi, Skuggy.” Apoccy’s broken voice spoke out. He kept screaming.

“Skuggy?!” Gene and Farrow exclaimed in unison.

“What the hell kinda party did I walk into?”

“Hey, just so you know, that wasn’t me,” Farrow said. “That was all on that Serial Killer dude.”

“Th...The what?” Skuggy stuttered. “Wait, you mean...”

“Hey, welcome to the Juggernaut,” a sad, tired voice spoke. It belonged to the Survivor.

“...So that really happened, didn’t it?”

“Hey, look down at yourself,” Farrow laughed. Skuggy glanced down. He saw the Juggernaut running, but...he saw it in first person.

“Oh fuck, we’re really doing this. Oh god.” Forest brushed by them and soon they burst out of the forest and into open space. A few people cheered, most of them part of the original Juggernaut fusion, finally glad to be out of forest.

“That’s not all,” Farrow urged. “Close your eyes. It’s fucking hell.” When Skuggy shut his eyes, he could still see something-- the headspace. The Juggernaut’s headspace was rather just a black void with brief flickering outlines of others around him, but when he looked down a flicker of himself was visible.

“...There’s a hole in me.”

“Hey, me too,” quipped the Serial Killer, “welcome to the club.” Skuggy covered his ears.

“I don’t like this. Why’s that one guy screaming? The hell’s going on?”

“I told you, you’re in the Juggernaut now. Better get used to it. I don’t think we have much of a chance of getting out of here,” said the Survivor.

“Okay, so, basically, when you open your eyes, you see what’s going on around us right now. You can’t really do anything unless everyone else does it with you or you get in control. It’s hard, though. These people are really good at seizing control and they aren’t friendly to newbies,” said Farrow. “If you close your eyes, you see the headspace of all of us. Like, what’s inside. Usually, if you close your eyes as one person, you see darkness, and maybe some light if it’s really bright outside. But since you’re like a spirit and you don’t have outside to see, you just see headspace. And when you’re one person and close your eyes, you don’t see anything because it’s just you in there. But when you’re a fusion, you can see everyone else and get up in their business! It’s...it’s headache-inducing, but fun.”

“...Farrow, I don’t know what fucking language you’re speaking, please, speak my language. Oh, god, what’s going on?”

“I just told you! Eyes shut, inside view. Eyes open, outside view.”

“Apoccy’s screaming in an attempt to slow down the others. I’d join him, but my voice isn’t faring too well,” said Gene.

“You should’ve seen him earlier,” said Farrow, “he was belting out Vines from the top of his head.”

“...Can I just go to sleep? This is driving me up the wall, holy shit.”

“Ha! Sleep?” Burst out another member of the Juggernaut, the Veteran. “You’re insane. In here, you get no sleep unless everyone else or the person in charge sleeps with you.”

“Are...are you fucking kidding me?” Skuggy shouted, voice trembling in disbelief.

“Not one bit. Welcome to the fusion.”

Skuggy paused for a bit. After a couple second, he began to scream along with Apoccy, shrieking at the top of his lungs.

“For the love of god...” The Survivor sighed.

The grass beneath them turned into hard rock. They kept running. Mendel was pressed against their back with tentacles coming from their gut and out of a mouth they had grown on their back. He was being held like a backpack.

They approached the lighthouse. It towered before them, and the sound of waves crashing against the rocks gently echoed in their ears.

“This is it, folks,” said the Plaguebearer. “You ready?” A small group of people cheered.

Skuggy stopped screaming. Apoccy stopped as well.

“...What are we doing?” Skuggy asked.

“Oh no. Oh no, no no no.” Apoccy repeated. “Fuck, someone get control! We can’t do this!”

“Silence! We’ve been waiting for this moment all of our miserable lives,” hissed the plaguebearer.

“What are they doing?!” Skuggy insisted.

“From my understanding, they’re gonna climb up there and kill Mendel, toss him into the water, and then jump off after him,” said Apoccy.

“Why the hell would they do that?”

“You can’t do this,” Gene snapped, “you guys need to stop and think. There’s a child here! Are you going to let her die?!” They grabbed hold of the ladder rungs on the side of the lighthouse and began their climb. They climbed rapidly, multiple rungs flying past at a time. Mendel began kicking and screaming, shaking his head desperately.

“We’ve been waiting to finally get some rest for years. It doesn’t matter if a few lives are taken in the process. It’s your fault for getting in the way,” the Werewolf growled.

“Our fault?!” Shouted the Trapper. He laughed exhaustively. “Our fault for getting in the way? We were trying to get away from you! We were hiding from you! You hunted us down!” The Juggernaut paused as a multitude of people tried to stop it from climbing from inside the fusion. It struggled before continuing the ascent. “You aren’t killing my daughter! I won’t let you!”

“You can’t stop us now,” laughed the Mafioso. “Haven’t you learned? We’re in charge.” They reached the gallery of the lighthouse and dragged themselves up, standing next to the large bulb of the lighthouse. They looked up. The roof of the lighthouse wasn’t too far from them. They leaped up and hung on, legs flailing until they pushed themselves upwards and hoisted themselves onto it. It was pyramidal in shape, and as they attempted to scramble up and get hold of the sharp, jutting lightning rod in the middle they kept slipping down. Mendel held onto the tentacles as tight as possible and shut his eyes tight, bowing his head and trying not to let out any audible cries.

“This isn’t going to work,” said the Arsonist girl. “It’s too sloped. We’re too big. Shift to someone else.” They hopped back down onto the floor of the gallery.

“Alright. Let’s see...we haven’t tried you out yet, haven’t we?” The Mafioso chuckled. The Juggernaut began to shift and bones began to crack and morph. “He hasn’t done much, I don’t think he’ll complain.” As the Juggernaut shifted Mendel took this as an opportunity to try to kick and pull his way out. However the tentacles tightened and the Juggernaut turned to look at him with fury in its eyes. It slowly finished its form shift, and the Juggernaut now sported a familiar face. Mendel’s blood went cold as he stared into the now unforgiving glare of one of his closest friends, Gene.

“Don’t you dare try to get out or we’ll drop you,” hissed a few voices at the same time to him. The tentacles lifted him and held him off over the edge of the lighthouse. He screamed out again and shut his eyes. “That’s right,” laughed the Juggernaut, shoving him back down into the gallery and behind the fence. They finally grabbed onto the roof and hoisted themselves up.

“You can’t do this!” Pleaded Gene from inside the Juggernaut. However it was already being done, and The Juggernaut climbed up and held onto the lightning rod. They held out Mendel before them.

“Look at me in the eyes, Mendel,” snapped the Juggernaut. Mendel couldn’t bring himself to look. “Do it or you fall!” His eyes squinted open.

“We’ve been wanting to do this ever since you made us,” The Juggernaut drawled. “You never thought of what exactly you were doing to us. All you ever thought of was yourself. You’re a selfish, foolish man.” The Juggernaut held him out farther. He choked down a scream. “Now you’re going to pay for what you’ve done to us.”

“P-Please,” Mendel begged, voice muffled. They lifted the tentacle over his mouth briefly. “Please, don’t do this, my Juggernaut...I can help unfuse you, if you kill me here you’ll never be apart ever again, you’ll have to stay like this forever!” The Juggernaut slapped the tentacle over his mouth again.

“Silly little Mendel,” they laughed. “We’ll be dealing with ourselves briefly once we’re done with you, don’t you worry.”

[japanwiththedybs]

Celebrating Japan

November 6, 2017

Kon’nichiwa,

We spent all day Sunday celebrating Japan at the Detroit Institute of Art during the Japan Cultural Days - and I felt sooooo smart.  During the intro to the Bonote Martial Arts Demonstration, we listened patiently about how the Edo Period had changed martial arts of the samurai - and while I’m sure that went quickly into to many ears - and right on out,  Mark and I looked at each other knowingly.

We were accompanied  by 4 of our 6 grands...

and  one more - not wearing his yukata but munching on  pizza.

We began the day with a Japanese Sweet demo with famous pastry chefs Motohiro Inaba and Rio Asano.  They were entertaining and informative and very funny!  He showed us how to make a traditional dessert that he has turned into “chicks.”  After the kids made their chicks - Motohiro Inaba walked through the audience and took photos of each chick - with the “pastry chef’s” name.

Here are the pics I lifted right off the chef’s Facebook page.  Too much fun!!  Check out Colin’s name which he has written in Japanese, thanks to our guide who sent him Birthday greetings.  Love it.  

Sagan wasn’t really interested in following the specific instructions on the chef - so his chick is FREESTYLE!

Of course the next step after the photos was to eat those little darling chicks.  Kylie was NOT impressed - FYI!!!  But I liked those cute gluten-free candies.

 Next, we watched the Japanese Kikuno-Kai Dance Troupe which was awesome.  Such beauty and grace - plus the music!!  A wonderful experience to explore a culture different from our own.

A little Kabuki  - anyone?

A folk dance with lions....

But my very favorite may have been the drummer.  It was so freaking cool!!

From there - and still all before lunch we headed to the Diego Rivera courtyard to see a Bonote Marital Arts demo.  Bonote is kinda’ like where the ninja arts ended up after those assassins and arsonists and murderers were no longer in demand.  Still all the skills without the killing.  I like it!  Our kids liked to too - but when it got too close for comfort, Sagan ditched his seat for safer grounds.

All in all - I can say we had a great day - celebrating Japanese Culture.

Sayonara