#our flights did get changed so its even less time but literally all im asking for is one full day | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

periminkle · 4 years ago

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Orphic | 04

After moving into your own place, it seems life is finally going your way; the path to independence leading you to a quaint suburban town where even the grass seems to grow a little greener. Although a shocking encounter leads you to believe that perhaps appearances can be quite deceiving.

pairing: hybrid!jk x reader (first person)

genre: hybrid au, angst, fluff

word count: 7.6k

rating: PG-15

warnings: swearing, descriptions of blood and cleaning wounds, mentions of cannibalism (o.o)

author’s note: mMMm setting deadlines is effective but exhausting, so the pacing of this might be a bit weird? also im def not late bc it’s still sunday in some timezones so ;))

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I stared intently at the grungy nick in the otherwise spotless wall, mind racing a mile a minute.

The better half of the last hour had been spent pacing back and forth, gaze unmoving from the unconscious man in fear of missing the twitch of a finger or the flutter of an eyelash. His complete stillness persuaded me to check on his pulse frequently, glad to feel the faint, yet steady, beat beneath layers of smooth skin.

When I received a second call from my cranky saviour to inform me that he was nearly here, I forcefully sat myself down and practiced that infamous square breathing that every zen yogi swore by. By the persistent bouncing of my knee, it was evident that the yogis had failed me.

Rain was pounding down in thick sheets onto the pavement outside and at this point I was convinced the world had it out for me, using every trick in the book to further complicate this surely doomed rescue mission. Nonetheless, I optimistically hoped that the incoming storm would soon subside.

My unfortunate lips dealt with the brunt of my merciless canines, rendering the skin raw by the time a distinctive series of raps against the sturdy door caught my attention. It was the very same pattern in which I’d regularly knock on the door to the cleaning storage, craving the company of someone other than the three musketeers I’d gotten to know better than my own blood.

Although I ordinarily would be enthusiastically welcomed and greeted with nothing less than a wide, heart-shaped grin, the circumstances now were undoubtedly exceptional. Thus, the crinkle between his brows and the disgruntled glare fixed on my sheepish smile were to be expected.

Needless to say, Hoseok was not impressed.

“What the hell?” the typically friendly janitor barked out, huffing out his frustration at having his slumber disturbed. “You do know that it’s almost two in the morning right? How did you even get in here? Why couldn’t this wait for tomorrow?”

His hair stuck up in a multitude of different directions, evidently having rolled out of bed, slipped on a jacket and came to my rescue. The wrinkled, blue horse character on his pajama set eased some of my nerves at the familiarity of its nose, in the shape of Hoseok’s smile that was, understandably, nowhere to be found with the current circumstances.

I gripped the distressed male by his lithe shoulders, imploring him to slow down. “I’m not coming in tomorrow. Listen, this is gonna sound absurd but—”

His eyes drifted past my smaller form and I firmly shook at his torso to prevent him from spotting the other man. “Hey! Eyes down here.” A hint of curiosity bled through his agitated exterior when he focused on my stern exterior once more. “You can’t freak out, okay?”

Hoseok shrugged his approval, murmuring, “Yeah, I get it, directly disobeying the head researchers is pretty satisfying and all, but did you really have to drag me into this? Especially when you know I start early on Saturdays?”

At the reminder of his strict schedule, I withered marginally as I originally hadn’t intended to involve him at all. A shameful appreciation began to eat away at my conscience, grateful for his presence in spite of my outrageous request. I wouldn’t know what to do if Hoseok hadn’t come through and in my eyes, he remained an angel who was too good to be true.

“I’m sorry, I promise this is really important.” I brought my arms back to my sides, glancing down at my feet in order to organize my swirling thoughts. “I wouldn’t call you if it wasn’t an emergency.”

What I didn’t notice while lost in my reverie was Hoseok’s rebellious stare, wandering over the injured man’s form. “What the fuck?” He gently shoved me aside, stumbling deeper into the laboratory. When he was planted by the stranger’s table, he repeated, “What the actual fuck?”

My head tipped back in exasperation, disappointed that not even my last minute backup strategy was going according to plan. “Hobi, please.”

I could practically envision the gears whirring in his head, a natural reaction considering the mutant in front of him. When he finally craned his neck back to me, he mumbled with wide eyes, “Say sike right now.”

“Stop talking for two seconds.” I groaned, marching up to position myself between the janitor and the table in an attempt to calm him down. Immediately upon noticing his trembling digits, I reached out to clasp them within my own quivering hands. “Listen, this experiment they’re conducting? From what I know, it’s all some screwed up excuse to inject animalistic characteristics of their choosing into humans. And their track records point to a lot of predator species.”

“Predators? Wha—why would they even want to create a predator-human hybrid?” Hoseok took a tiny step back and out of the fear that he would flee, I fiercely clamped down onto our conjoined limbs.

“I don’t know yet,” I faltered. “But, honestly, I couldn’t care less because of how unethical they are in their approach to this project.” At his puzzled expression I somberly gestured to the unmoving lump in the corner, willing myself to postpone any tears for a safer location.

Hoseok must have connected the dots at the midnight black shade of fur peeking out underneath the fabric matching the colour of the hybrid’s ears and tail, as his stare hardened and his breathing began to even out from the rapid pace it was at before. “I’ll need more details later on, but let’s get him out of here first.”

At his command, I retracted from Hoseok's hold, scoping out the rather barren area for something other than the masses of files and papers strewn about. “You think we can carry him together?”

Simply comparing the difference in size between the stranger and Hoseok, there was no doubt the copious, hulking mass of muscle outweighed my friend’s slimmer figure. Our combined strength would have to somehow prove formidable against his bulky body.

Hoseok’s grimace spoke volumes about his faith in that idea, although there wasn’t much of a choice considering the alarming time crunch and our limited accessibility to other parts of the laboratory. Due to my blind confidence in the ostensibly foolproof scheme I constructed, the only cameras shifted were directly located in the path from the front entrance to the changing room to the upstairs lab.

Oh, how I was regretting that naivety now.

Using an abandoned stretch of fabric that had been stuffed into one of the drawers I rummaged through earlier, I covered his immobile body with the thin cover to provide some decency and act as a layer of defence against the torrents outside.

While Hoseok stood directly behind his head, leaning forward to loop his arms underneath the hybrid’s triceps and around his chest, I grabbed each of his ankles, cradling them to my abdomen. Even with our best efforts to avoid any of his wounds, there was no way to avert the countless scratches and bruises that littered every inch of visible skin. We counted on the sanguine belief that he wasn’t conscious enough to feel any of it, reluctant to use any tranquilizers when we weren't aware of how much juice they’d already injected him with.

“On the count of three?” Hoseok asked.

With a nod, I tightened my hold and widened my stance. “One, two,” after taking a generous inhale, I heaved, “three!”

The two of us managed to maneuver the stranger down the length of the dingy hall before we were forced to gently place him onto the ground, desperate to grant our aching muscles the break they demanded. Currently, construction was being done on the elevator, which meant that the flight of stairs was the next obstacle to be tackled.

I lost the brief, but fierce, battle of rock-paper-scissors and endured the frightening prospect of marching down the stairs backwards—in the dark. All because Hoseok was unwilling to sacrifice the slightest bit of his comfort for the both of us to step sideways.

It was safe to say the stairs themselves took ten minutes to clear.

On the first floor, we were able to cross over to the main entrance in a breeze thanks to the spacious nature of the lobby. After scurrying to Hoseok’s car and laying the hybrid in the back seat, I returned to the lab to dutifully lock up the front door and jogged back to the vehicle.

Hoseok sent me a befuddled brow lift from the front seat when instead of the passenger’s side, I hesitantly stood a stride away from the driver’s door. “He’s fine, hurry up already so we can get out of here.” He motioned to the space beside him with the flick of his chin, his bed head dancing along with the movement. “It wouldn’t look too great if anyone caught us right now, especially with the man-cat knocked out cold in the back. Plus, the lab just radiates spooky vibes at night, look at my goosebumps!”

“Okay, okay, give me a second,” I grunted, opening the door to the back seat as I bowed inside to avoid a painful meeting with the roof of the vehicle. While gripping the back of the stranger’s skull with one hand and his upper back with the other, I lifted his torso and slipped inside. Tenderly, I placed his head on my lap.

“What are you doing?” Hoseok stared at me through the mirror, evidently unnerved by my proximity to the man. ��He could literally wake up at any minute and there goes your throat!”

“Or he could get juggled around from your shitty driving and open his injuries again,” I countered, “which I think is a lot more likely, no?”

He scoffed, taking full offence to my jest. “Never mind. I hope he throws you out the damn window for calling my driving anything less than spectacular.”

The rush of excess blood coursing through my veins as a result of my overactive heart pounded in my head, nearly loud enough to block out the boisterous revving of the engine echoing throughout the empty lot. Tires squeaked against the pavement, jolting the hunk of metal into action as we sped away.

“Where were you thinking of leaving him?” he asked, taking a breath before mumbling, “that is, if you thought about this at all.”

“Hobi!” My jaw dropped dramatically at his not so subtle jab, shaking my head as I commented, “You’ve been hanging around Yoongi too much lately. I mean, all this sass couldn’t have come from nowhere.”

He slowed down behind the only other car in sight, flicking on his signal to turn. “Don’t change the subject.”

“I’m not, I was just commenting on your drastic change in behaviour,” I rebutted, crossing my arms across my chest at his determination to aggravate me tonight. “For your information, I actually planned this out for weeks; who do you think got the key card to the upstairs lab, the keys to the building itself, moved all the cameras—

Despite the leather seat between us, I knew he was sporting a sly smirk, for his conceit was bleeding through his supercilious tone. “And who begged me for help halfway through this ingenious plan?”

My jaw clenched shut, astounded at his cheeky retorts. At first, I was unsure of how the relationship between the jovial custodian and the chilly facade that Yoongi donned among strangers would progress, but judging by the sheer number of occasions in which I’d walked into a room with the two chatting away—gummy smiles all around, it seemed to be advancing better than expected.

“Whatever, you came anyway.” I sank back into my seat, careful not to disturb the comatose man peacefully resting on my thighs. Hopefully he was narcotized enough to remain oblivious to the various disturbances around him and would only rouse when the sun made an appearance.

Hoseok blithely sneered, pressing harder on the pedal as he spun the steering wheel to the right. “Yeah, well it’s kind of hard not to when you claim that Hyunho’s going to sue your ass for thousands of dollars.”

“And was I wrong?” I recalled our earlier conversation, where I hadn’t yet mustered up the courage, much less the patience, to confess to the details of my crimes. In a panicked state, I simply presented the consequences which would follow Hoseok’s absence—Hyunho’s wrath.

“No, now you’re just gonna get your ass handed to you by Namjoon and Yoongi,” he countered. “But I guess you’ll save some money while you’re at it.”

Merely the thought of their reactions to my late night escapade made me want to shrivel up in a ball. “Who said I’m going to tell them?”

“You’re not telling them?” The car slowed as he gradually came to a graceful stop behind a red light, turning his torso to face me with the help of his hand on the central console. “You know better than to release the man-cat, he’ll just get caught again.”

Rolling my eyes like a petulant child being scolded, I muttered, “I’m not releasing him.”

“But you can’t deal with him on your own either!” he snapped, the lack of sleep shortening his tolerance. After a pause to regain his senses, Hoseok rapidly shook his head and twisted back to focus on the empty roads ahead.

"Listen," I gritted out between my teeth, my own temper flaring. “I think you’re forgetting that I was well aware of the fact that I would be housing some kind of animal for a while, just didn’t know he would be this big.”

“Or this dangerous? This costly?” His firm grip on the wheel tightened, knuckles turning white as his emotions boiled over. "You’re not prepared to deal with him, I'll just take him back to my place."

A puff of air escaped my throat at his ridiculous solution, stating, "You live with your sister. There's no way she won't find out."

"Like you're any better off," he quipped, staring me down through the rearview mirror. "You live alone. If he were to do anything to you, we’d be none the wiser about it."

"Well, we can't risk anyone discovering his existence. There's no other way.” By watching the stranger’s chest rise and fall with each elongated breath, I was able to simultaneously avoid Hoseok’s prying eyes and collect my own thoughts.

While impatiently waiting for his arrival back at the lab, my mind had trudged through copious possibilities, overwhelmed with the pressure to choose the right one. Eventually, I came to the disconcerting conclusion that, be that as it may, the most secure option remained to bring him back to my place.

I reassured, "Don’t worry, I cleared out my bedroom so that there’s nothing in there that could potentially be used as a weapon. We'll secure him down, lock the door, and I'll camp out in the living room."

"Y/N, we don't have any clue what this guy is capable of,” Hoseok stressed, worry colouring his voice as he sharply gesticulated with his free hand. “Hell, look at him! He has cat ears, Y/N, and do not get me started on his tail.”

I stole a glance at the accused appendage in bewilderment, unsure of why that aspect was at the forefront of Hoseok’s concerns regarding the mutant boy. “What’s wrong with his tail?”

“My point is,” he accentuates, “we have no idea what we’re dealing with here. What if he has some kind of monstrous super strength and his diet consists of human flesh? He could probably rip right through any restraints and bam! That'll be the end of you."

I held my tongue at ridiculing his absurd speculations when some sort of man-cat hybrid was currently strewn across the back seat of Hoseok’s run-down Corolla; a dim display exposing the current, ungodly hour of the early morning.

“Do you have any better ideas?" Although my question was met with radio silence, we steadily continued on the potholed path headed away from my house. I spoke up again, "Where are you taking us?"

"We're going to Namjoon's place, and we're gonna think of a better alternative all together."

"Hoseok," I seethed, fists clenching next to my thigh. "He'll make us take him back. We're already too far in to go back now."

The car jerked violently due to the bumpy road and being suddenly reminded of the wounded boy, I shot out to grab at his thin waist in order to nail him to the seat. Despite my best efforts, crimson liquid soaked through the thin blanket and I cursed under my breath.

"I can't leave you there alone with him!"

"Please, we'll be careful." A beat passed as I greedily inhaled the fresh air flowing in through my open window, gathering ideas to negotiate. "I'll stay awake the whole time and I'll text you every hour."

Regardless of my pleas, the car kept at its incessant pace to Namjoon's apartment. Sweat began to accumulate at my temples at the unsure fate of what censure awaited me. To distract my nerves, I gripped the fabric that covered the man’s body, tugging it over his shoulders to rest just below his chin while pressing a bunch into his side in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

Past the low hum of the vehicle, a gentle utterance met my ears. I lifted my head to inquire whether the sound was merely a figment of my fatigued imagination when Hoseok repeated, "Every half hour."

My eyes widened, darting to examine his stoic expression from the rearview mirror. "Yes! Yes, yes of course. I can even do every ten minutes if that’s what you want." I shrugged my shoulders, pointing out, "I'll be up all night anyway."

"No, I'm good. Unlike some of us, I don't deserve to be punished for my crimes and would like to salvage the little sleep I can get," he declared as he performed a U-turn at a wide intersection.

My grin expanded exponentially at the change in direction. "Suit yourself."

I allowed my thoughts to clear, tracing a clear droplet on the window as it raced to engulf another, merging into one, larger globule that ran down the smooth expanse until it was out of sight. Unknowingly, I mindlessly carded my fingers through the stranger’s dampened strands; more so for my own comfort than for anyone else.

Before I knew it, we’d arrived at my quaint cottage and with the addition of another individual residing under its roof, the place seemed tinier than ever. Hoseok and I shuttled him over to my bedroom as gracefully as we possibly could, aiming to avoid whacking into any obstacles along the way.

Other than his lengthy legs knocking into two door frames, we were clear.

The second his back met the rigid mattress, we collectively released a weighty exhalation from the excessive exertion that strained both our physical and mental states. Although the chances of the stranger waking up now were low, seeing as he was out like a light throughout the whole journey, I hurried to collect the sturdy ropes that I purchased in advance.

“Ooh, you’re into some kinky shit, huh Y/N?” Hoseok quipped, taking the material from my hands.

My eyes rolled back at his stupid antics, glaring at the pleased crinkles forming next to his drooping eyes. “Ha ha, very funny. Now help me tie him up, so I can kick you out of my house.”

“And what’re you gonna do to him when I leave?”

Snatching the rope that he stole from me, I shoved Hoseok to the side by pressing against his firm bicep—which definitely carried more than his fair share of the hybrid on the way here—and grumbled, “Guess If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself.”

Hoseok burst into a short fit of contagious laughter, invoking a couple quiet giggles that I was unsuccessful in fighting down. As he raised the stranger’s arms to the bed frame, I looped the braided, nylon material snug around each of his wrists. Along the way I checked to ensure that the restraints weren’t too tight before moving onto his ankles to repeat the process. Luckily enough, his height stretched the entire length of my minuscule bed with his feet dangling off the ledge.

“Tell me you brought more tranquilizers in case?” Hoseok asked immediately upon securing the last knot. Throughout a tedious explanation on how foolishly lax I was behaving with the hybrid, he went back to inspect my handiwork, tugging the ends of the cords closer together into a grip that nearly cut off the hybrid’s blood flow.

Over his nagging, I sneaked a victorious grin as I displayed the syringes I’d nabbed from the lab. He spent a few more minutes fiddling with various safety measures consisting of the pepper spray he stealthily retrieved from my purse, the bedroom door’s lock and an air horn that he remarkably pulled out of his coat’s pocket. Although it was questionable if the blaring sound would awaken even my closest neighbours due to the sheer distance between our houses, I didn’t dare attempt after imagining old Sangmin marching over here on his rickety cane to bark my ears off.

Refusing to bother expending effort on pondering over the rationale behind Hoseok’s little magic trick, I blithely shooed him out before any more ridiculous objects could be plucked out of his jacket.

The last straw was his finger approaching the sensitive button on said air horn. Unwilling to face the consequences of his brash actions, I slammed the front door closed behind Hoseok, the space suddenly void of his rowdy antics. I wearily blinked the drowsiness out of my eyes, the stillness and tranquility of the early hours slowed my heart rate from the fast paced, action packed night.

My sock-clad feed padded their way back to the bedroom, snatching my phone out of my black hoodie to fiddle around with an app that I discovered upon moving out. In order to relay my continued existence to my family, I scheduled texts to be sent every week, which would prove useful at this time as well. Knowing my own forgetful nature, one update to Hoseok would slip my mind, and either four, furious men would burst through every available entrance or I would have the whole police force upon my front steps in minutes.

To prevent such a disastrous event from taking place, I tampered around with the settings and added the fretting male to the list.

I halted in my tracks when faced with the mundane sight of the four walls where I spent most of my sleeping hours, not a hair out of place other than the addition of the injured hybrid on my dirtied bed. The crimson stains jolted me into action, retrieving my brand new first-aid kit and finding it hilariously ironic that the dressings were going to be used on the very same criminal that broke in to steal such supplies.

In order to fight off any cold that could have possibly slithered its way past the weak barrier draped over his body, I peeled the flimsy, sodden cover off and replaced it with a puffy comforter. Traversing through the storm that continued to rage outside definitely put a strain on his already weakened state, and his pale countenance wasn't very reassuring.

I slid the blanket down to access the sullied wound at his rib cage and grabbed a couple pads of gauze to firmly press onto the area. Thankfully, some blood had already begun to coagulate around the edges, so I didn’t have to wait too long for the trickling stream to cease. With a clean towel, I wiped the surrounding skin to get a better look at what I was dealing with, grimacing at the bruises forming galaxies across the jagged edges of ripped skin.

He was in worse shape than either Hoseok or I could have predicted. At this realization, the fleeting worry that he might succumb to the severity of his wounds grew, festering a nasty doubt in my mind.

Deciding whether to clean the laceration commenced another strife within the whirlwind of emotions inside my head, but I poured a few drops of antiseptic onto a cotton ball anyway, fearful of infection. As I tried my best to carefully dab the soaked material across his wounds, I peered up at his face to search for signs of consciousness.

My eyes involuntarily softened at the small cuts littered across his neck, travelling past his jaw and over the slopes of his hollowed cheeks to his forehead, which was partially hidden under his dark locks. When the cotton was thoroughly besmirched with a blend of bright crimson and a muddy brown, I drenched another and advanced up to other regions after the more serious lesions were taken care of.

A closer look at his sinewy torso allowed me to examine the scars scattered all around, mostly clustered around his upper arms. Absentmindedly, I wondered whether their appearances were linked to the cruel methods of the laboratory. How had he gotten within their clutches in the first place? For how long was he suffering under the justification of being an experiment?

What were they trying to accomplish with him?

My mind raced with all the different possibilities of what could have brought the hybrid into this situation in the first place, and before I knew it, I was pushing back the disheveled strands on his forehead to clean the last of his cuts. There were definitely more on his dorsal side, but I wasn’t willing to undo his restraints and flip his hefty weight over on my own. I would either wait until he woke up or ask Hoseok to stop by again after his shift.

In my current position, I was close enough to feel his warm breath fanning across my skin, observe the tiny brown mole under his lip and how utterly breathtaking this man was underneath the cuts that marred his skin. He was undoubtedly attractive at first glance, although I wasn’t able to appreciate his masculine features while under the stress of saving him.

Once every laceration in my reach had been disinfected to the best of my limited abilities, I swiftly bandaged his side again and stuck Spider-man themed band aids onto the smaller cuts in memory of the Hello Kitty ones that decorated his body earlier. I settled back on the chair, admiring my handiwork and fighting back the looming threat of dormancy that approached with every elongated blink. My head leaned back as I crossed my arms, thinking that a little snooze never hurt anyone.

I was blind to the cocoa orbs drinking in the darkness.

The bright light streaming in through the numerous cracks between my blinds prodded my eyelids apart, pupils struggling to adjust past the groggy haze of an unexpected slumber. Rather than revelling in the bountiful energy supplied by a restorative nap, an obnoxious cramp in my neck made its presence known alongside the bleak, obstinate tingle of dormancy that lingered within every tightened tendon, pulsating throughout my entire body.

Although the pain gradually ebbed away after I rolled my head around in wide semicircles, I knew from experience that the ache of sleeping in an uncomfortable position would linger.

Gold streaks were painted on the hardwood floor as a result of the sun’s harsh rays, a stark contrast to the dusk of a few hours ago. As I began to fuzzily recollect the memories from yesterday, I spotted the growing number of discrepancies between the room I’d seen before I closed my eyes and now, from the open door to the ruffled sheets, devoid of any sign of life.

Fortunately, I seemed to be in the same position, seated on the tough chair that I snoozed off in a few hours ago. However, I found it odd that it was particularly difficult to do much else than squirm around, and that was when I realized the problem lied in the nylon material tied around my wrists and ankles, binding me to the furniture.

A cold dread washed over me, much like a freezing bucket of ice being poured over my head. The hybrid escaped.

Well, at least he didn’t exact his fallacious revenge on my sleeping form.

“Awake?”

I squeaked at the whiplash that followed the movement of my head twisting a second too quickly, intent on identifying the furtive speaker. My eyes widened exponentially at locating the muscular hybrid, black ears twitching at my cry and tail swishing in curiosity. Being clad in only boxers, I shifted my gaze away out of instinct, a fiery blush overtaking my features despite having ogled the man’s ripped physique before.

It felt completely different when he was unconscious and my only intent was to treat his multitudinous wounds though.

He slowly blinked, clearly finding my astonishment puzzling with the bewilderment laced in his orbs. Waving a large palm in front of my face to get my attention on him, he calmly said, “No hurt.”

The tight rope that currently hindered my motion was definitely the same one that had been previously occupied with restraining the hybrid to the bed. Yet the very same male stood in front of me, free as a bird. “H-how did you get out?”

Instead of answering verbally, he extended his defined arms out to the side, imitating the position he was tied up in, then robustly swinging both limbs towards one another. So he broke through those thick, durable ropes with sheer strength and willpower. Comforting.

The tranquilizers laid scattered across the floor, much too far to even consider reaching them.

“Where’s your blanket?” I questioned, suppressing the tremor in my voice as I found it outrageous that my throat was still intact at this point. There was no guarantee that he wasn’t harbouring any motives to rid the world of my presence, but the fact that he wasn’t actively making any moves to rip my heart out was a good sign.

The mop of dark chestnut swayed along in the same direction that he tilted his head over to; a habit revealing an emotion that I couldn’t place on the stranger. “Warm. No like.”

His broken English revived a flurry of trepidation. I recalled the night of the break-in, the terror and hysteria that I’d buried away under the incorrect pretense that a burglar never hits the same house twice.

I didn’t know if that sentiment applied to kidnapping the criminal and using your place as his hideout, as well.

As I noisily gulped, I felt his stare dart to my esophagus and in a wild panic, my wide eyes met the doe-like curve of his own. The hybrid edged closer to my trembling form before treading past me, out of sight. I closed my eyes in preparation.

This is it. Goodbye world, it was pretty shit while it lasted.

I heard the rustling of fabric behind me and silently applauded the man for thinking of a quick and easy suffocation to reduce the amount of clean up afterwards.

His bare feet slapped against the floor, trekking over to my front again. When a couple seconds passed and none of my airways were blocked nor was there any piercing pain to be felt, I cautiously cracked an eye open to see the stranger standing there, the puffy blanket from before wrapped around his broad shoulders.

“Good now?” he inquired with a bunny-like smile.

My jaw dropped slightly as I nodded, attempting to formulate a sentence but coming up empty. The stark contrast between the brawn enveloping his body and his innocent features threw me in for a loop. This must have been part of his grand scheme to ruthlessly murder me—lulling me into a false sense of security before executing me on the spot.

Outwardly, the hybrid appeared to possess more human features than his animal counterpart, leading me to wonder which instincts ruled over the other. Was he more level-headed and rational or was he unable to suppress his bestial instincts? Did he get sudden, violent mood swings or go on occasional, bloodthirsty rampages?

The lack of knowledge I had regarding the man, who had somehow gained the upper hand through his brute strength, was worrying. A tinge of regret for not skimming through a few files on said hybrid before Hoseok’s arrival made me softly curse under my breath.

As I shifted in place, I was reminded of my own predicament. “So, uh, any chance you’ll let me go?”

With his broad grin still on full display, he made his refusal clear by shaking his head back and forth. It was worth a try. “Not fair. I tied, now you tied.”

His childish logic caught me off guard and a bark of laughter shook my stiff shoulders, marginally relaxing at the prospect that he might postpone the bloodshed for a later time. The mystery laid in how he could distinguish my harmless intentions from the head researchers’ diabolical ones. Maybe it was the lab coat?

I made a mental note to never wear my own lab coat in front of him.

A grumble snapped me out of my reverie. I observed the stranger’s startled features as he glanced down at his abdomen, then, unabashedly, back up to my face. Recalling his screams of horror back at the lab, the barbaric treatment he received there was indisputable and based on his raging stomach, I guessed that it had been a while since he’d eaten anything of substance.

Of all times, Hoseok’s ridiculous words of the hybrid’s diet consisting of human grade meat played back through my brain and jitters erupted over my limbs, wanting to please the man before he was picking his teeth with my freshly cleaned bones.

“Hungry?” I prodded, pushing other priorities to the side in favour of feeding the rumbling beast.

His dark orbs immediately lit up with pure, unadulterated glee. The hybrid gracefully tied the ends of the fabric around his neck like a cape and rounded closer to me with mirth written across every crease on his countenance.

Unsure if his giddiness was attributed to the assumption that I was offering up the meat lining my organs, I squirmed in protest, attempting to cause a ruckus in order to spur his excitement towards another source of protein in the fridge.

Not having much choice in the matter with my limited range of motion, I watched in worry as he scurried out of sight again. “Hey, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here and—”

Despite being prepared for his unpredictable nature, a yelp flew past my lips when I was effortlessly lifted into the air, chair and all. His forearms caged my thighs as he gripped the bottom of the seat, hot pants of air blowing onto the back of my neck from his position.

His elation was practically tangible as he flew past the open doorway and sped off through the foyer. He must have ventured deeper into the house while I was blissfully unaware, since his strides towards the kitchen were filled with nothing but confidence in every step.

Hastily, I spat out, “I’m not that delicious, trust me! My budget’s been pretty strict this month, so I’ve just been eating junk, and I don’t imagine that’ll taste very go—”

The force holding me upright loosened when we reached the fridge, permitting my feet to find the floor. “Dee-lee-shiz?” He tried to imitate, turning to point straight at me.

“No! No, no, not delicious.” I corrected, violently shaking my head.

His outstretched arm retracted to his side, staring like a hawk at my chin tipping towards the metal cooling box behind him, and I repeated, “Delicious.”

As he flung the door to the refrigerator open, nearly ripping it right off its hinges, he yelled, “Dee-lee-shiz!”

Utter fascination at the chilled temperature and the rather meager array of food etched onto his features, sending relief through my veins. I encouraged him to ravage the tenuous stock of food while simultaneously rejoicing at successfully having deterred him from eating me alive.

Packs of eggs, blueberries, condiments, and essentially anything within his reach was hauled out, forming a growing heap on the countertop. When a zucchini found its way into his grasp, he took one puzzled look before chomping down on one end. I wasn’t too sure how raw zucchini would taste when eaten as though it were a cucumber, but he seemed pleased enough to take another bite that resounded throughout the space with a loud crunch.

I reclined back into the stiff chair, content on observing the ravenous hybrid empty my fridge and taking an occasional nibble on snacks that piqued his interest. Although, his grab at the bundle of raw chicken was when I decided to voice my concerns. “Ah, that has to be cooked!” At another tilt of his head, I explained, “You could get sick if you don’t cook it.”

By his furrowed brows, I deduced the concept flew over his head, but he threw the package onto my lap anyway and peered down expectantly. “Cook.”

“You tied me up, remember? I need some mobility to cook.” I tugged at my subdued arms to demonstrate my current inaptitude.

He hummed in thought, enveloping his lower lip between his lengthy canines as he weighed the pros and cons of being able to consume the meat by setting me loose. Finally, after clearly expressing how torn he was between his hunger and his teasing, it seemed that he’d come to a conclusion when he latched onto my left forearm.

Just as I was about to jib that I was no longer on the menu, a searing pain ripped across my wrist. I hissed through my teeth with my fists clenched as I teared my tender arm out of his grip, protectively cradling the limb to my chest.

He flinched away from the sound, taking a step away from my defensive form. At the sight of my disgruntled frown, he withered into himself, chin to his chest while I examined my sore wrist, whimpering at the edges of the flaming red, torn skin. I was a second away from viciously reprimanding him for the bruise that was more than likely to form by tomorrow, but one look into his guilty, fearful eyes made me pause.

With his strength, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that he possessed the ability to do much worse, which didn’t seem to be his intent from all the fretting—ears tucked into the crown of his head and tail hanging low. As he seemed to be repenting without a chiding needed on my end, I redirected to a softer approach. “It’s fine, just be more gentle next time, okay?”

“Mm,” he complied weakly, his prior enthusiasm having substantially deflated. Before I could dismiss the topic and entice him with more food, he knelt down to my ankles, gripping the rope with both hands this time as he effortlessly tore the material apart, careful not to graze my legs in the process.

A shiver crawled down my spine at the display of power, mentally noting that there was probably enough strength in his fingers to flick my stunned form across the room; yet the man proved his duality by proceeding to grab one loose end of his makeshift cape and gently tie it around my unscathed wrist. “No run.”

Surprisingly enough, I hadn’t made it a break for it as soon as I was liberated. Although I sustained minimal injuries, he expressed his remorse and made no moves to consume my flesh, which was another good sign. As more time passed, he was revealing to be more and more of a passionate bunny stuck in a wrestler’s body.

After all, I hadn’t gone through all the trouble of kidnapping him just to sprint at the slightest sign of trouble. I confirmed, “No run.”

Some of his original ardour reappeared at my acknowledgement, along with a faint giggle that evoked a tiny smile on my own face. I figured that with his minimal experience revolving around homemade dishes, simply slapping on some salt and pepper to flavour the meat with a side of boiled vegetables would suffice. Thus, I took the package from my lap and got to work.

Cooking with another, rather useless, individual essentially attached at the hip was difficult, to say the least. In the beginning, the man fired question after question, curious about every ingredient and spice going into the dish, but after realizing that he lacked the correct vocabulary to obtain the information he sought, he became a silent observer.

Basically, he followed me around like a lapdog while munching on another zucchini to occupy his restless hands.

After pulling him around left and right, occasionally giving a soft tug on the blanket when he would unintentionally zone out, I finally threw all the components into a single pan, deciding to serve a simple stir-fry. With only the expanse of the puffy fabric between us, I was constantly elbowing the hybrid while mixing the ingredients together, which I considered a redeeming form of payback for his carelessness with my arm.

While the mouth-watering scent of lunch wafted around, he extended the wrist connected to mine, sidestepping over to the island to fish for a bag of baby carrots before coming to stand next to me by the stove. Spotting my stare, he flashed another blinding grin and I couldn’t help but imagine long, bunny ears extending off the top of his head, his slender tail replaced with a fluffier ball of fur at the back. That seemed to better suit his ardent personality.

The chicken gradually changed colour as the exterior of the vegetables softened, and I brought the meal along with the chair by the fridge over to my tiny two-person table, prompting him to take a seat in front of the steaming plate. I expected him to ravenously dig in and devour every crumb, yet he refused to move a muscle, staring out the glass doors to the backyard and into the forest instead.

“I hurt.” He stumbled over his words, somberly bringing his gaze to my cocked brow. “No mean to hurt.”

Thinking back to the scuffle that seemed eons away at this point, I flashed a reassuring smile his way, explaining, “I get it, you were injured. Um, I was kind of mad at first because you broke my door and everything,” I offhandedly gestured towards the broken contraption, “but I forgive you.”

“No.” He clenched his jaw, analyzing the surface of the table as if the words he was searching for were etched on the surface. “Now. Sorry now, too.” To drive his point home, he delicately grabbed the arm not wrapped in the blanket, streaks of red decorating my wrist like a tight bracelet.

I hummed my understanding. “Ah, I told you it’s fine already,” I reassured, patting his hand.

Content at my acceptance of his makeshift apology, he began to dig into the chicken. His nose twitched at the unfamiliar taste, but he made no complaints. Anything was better than nothing, in the end.

I let him enjoy his food for a bit before asking, “Did you have a name? Something like J3?”

His eyes went back to scanning the outdoors, the sound of his chomping coming to an abrupt halt when he spotted a sad lump on the porch.

“Bud?” he inquired, the light glimmering in his irises.

The nickname stumped me, as I had difficulty imagining Hyunho or Minzy affectionately calling their experiment ‘bud’. “What are you talking about? Is that your name?”

His finger poked out to the cylindrical pile of tuna outside, then back to himself, “Bud.”

Befuddled now more than ever, I tried to laugh it off and nodded my head towards the plate again, silently advising him to continue eating.

Unfortunately, he didn’t seem too keen on evading the topic, whimpering in frustration at either my lack of understanding or his incapability of properly communicating due to the language barrier. His unending appetite was going to be put on hold for this. As he stood up, the chair behind him screeched, and he clutched on to the blanket, pulling me towards the back door.

Refusing to allow history to repeat itself, I rushed ahead to slide the hairband off and pushed the door open, allowing him to slip through. I figured that when the man drifted off to sleep tonight, I could replace the rapidly decaying tuna in hopes that my kitty would visit again.

While I was lost in thought, he undid the knot connecting the two of us and sprinted into the forest.

His back disappeared within the thickets fencing the towering maple trees and I froze in place, my jaw going slack in an ugly mixture of bafflement and betrayal, believing that he had simply taken advantage of my hospitality then ran off. Although, all attempts at making sense of the hybrid’s actions were cut short when familiar noises of horrifying, crackling sounds met my ears, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end.

When the underbrush twitched, leaves fluttering from the movement of an animal hidden within their cover, a sinking feeling entered my chest. And that was the moment I met the vibrant, emerald eyes that had dug their own space within my heart.

#jungkook fanfic #jungkook scenarios #jungkook imagine #jungkook x reader #jungkook au #jungkook hybrid au #bts fanfic #bts scenarios #bts imagine #this chap gave me an aneurysm and a half

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horansqueen · 4 years ago

Text

You & Me : chapter 40

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34|| CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.3k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: i hope this isnt too much and that youre still enjoying this story! its almost over tho, so if you have any request please send them asap! I have a few more chapters planned but I could always add a few filler chapters if you guys send me ideas. so yea, thank you!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : here are the requests i used. im sorry about the Julia one, they couldnt have a very big and deep talk because it was Liv’s chapter but I still wanted to add her in because i really like her :) hope its okay!

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 40 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

May 7th, 2018

It was quite late but we were both packing our things in silence. I had waited last minute to do it while Niall had to wait until he was back from his concert, which resulted in us doing it together. I missed going to see him play and sing and the thought made something stir in my stomach. I couldn't believe I stopped myself from going to see him do what he loved the most to do in the entire universe just because I was scared of what some losers could write in an online article. The more I thought about it, the more I found that completely ridiculous. I was about to mention something about it when I heard Niall talk, breaking the silence.

"Oh, I totally forgot to give you that." He leaned closer to me and handed me a small box that was wrapped in pretty pink paper. I frowned but took it in my hand anyway as he shrugged. "A fan told me to give it to you. Apparently, she was really sad when we broke up."

I stared at the small box on y hand and licked my lips. I knew most of it were just rumors, but I also knew that some people believe everything they'd read online. Still, this time, I couldn't blame them since it was the truth. I quickly unwrapped it and grabbed the note first, reading it out loud.

"We thought Niall was the biggest One Direction fan in the world, but we've seen you multiple times with random One Direction merch and we thought you may enjoy this."

I frowned more but when I saw the necklace, I let out a louder laughter. It made Niall frown too and I looked up at him with a smirk, bringing my hand closer to him. Around my fingers was hanging a necklace with his face on it. It seemed to be very old merch, probably from 2011, and I saw him grimace.

"No, Liv!" he whined as I put it around my neck and I chuckled again.

"Hey, it's a gift!" I argued. "Besides, I didn't have this one. I love it."

"You're such a pain." he joked, making me laugh this time.

I didn't see it coming but he literally jumped on me and I fell on the bed with a high scream. He pinned me down and started tickling me, holding both my wrists with one hands as the fingers of the other squeezed my waist, making my body jerk.

"Noooo! Niall stop!"

I squirmed, kicking him and hitting him without really knowing or controlling what I was doing. It took him a few seconds to stop and he stared down at me with a smirk as my lips were parted. I was panting low, not even able to enjoy his body on top of mine.

"Please, let me wear the necklace." I almost begged in a low voice.

His eyes roamed on me for about a minute and finally, the left corner of his lips raised up and he nodded once before moving closer to kiss me.

I had decided to follow him in Spain even if I had no idea when I'd have to fly back to California. We still had a few episodes to film but I was hoping Niall could come with me. He only had a few concerts left before he'd be off for a few weeks and even if he had to fly to the UK at the end of the month, I was thinking he could spend almost two weeks with me. I knew all we did was live in our luggage, going from airports to airports but at the same time, we were together and it's really all that mattered to me.

His lips moving slowly against mine made my heart twist in my chest. I loved him so much, I always would and I knew it. I was starting to trust him again, so much that the tiny ball of fear that seemed to live permanently in my stomach was now gone. I had decided that I wanted to live this plenty, to not hold grudges of fears that came from our past. I wanted to move forward and I knew that we had both changed for the better.

May 8th, 2018

We woke up early to catch our flight and I put my sunglasses on because I knew I looked exhausted. They were heart shaped but were black instead of my usual pink or purple ones for the simple reason I thought it would be less obvious to the people around that I had puffy and tired eyes. I didn't mean travelling if it meant being with Niall, but that didn't mean it was it wasn't sucking up all my juice.

I didn't expect the airport to be crowded but it was, and I moved my head down, trying not to catch anyone's attention. The fans started screaming, the paps started yelling at Niall to look their way, and when one of them moved too close to us, I felt my heart jump in my chest and without thinking, I grabbed Niall's hand. I realized my mistake and quickly let go of it only to feel his fingers tighten around mine. I could swear the flashes became even more intense right after and I glanced at Niall, licking my lips as I heard similar questions being yelled around us.

"Are you two back together?"

"Did you cheat on Dylan and Heidi together?"

"Are all the rumors true?"

We both held each other's hand tighter at the sound of all these questions being thrown at us and we kept walking as they followed us. I could feel my heart beat so hard in my chest that I felt like it was about to escape. I swallowed hard trying to relax a bit as I kept glancing at my boyfriend.

"Does that mean we're official?" Niall asked me, squeezing my fingers even more after he stopped walking, and moved closer to make sure I was the only one who heard.

I turned his way and licked my lips, trying to ignore the flashes and the sounds of the cameras. I was not used to that much attention, or at least, not as intense as it was being at that moment, but even if it was a bit intimidating, I was not scared.

"Do you want us to be?"

His gaze moved on my face as he studied me before sending me a fond smile. "Yes, I do."

I sent him a gentle smile that turned into a very big one. "We're official then."

"Fuck yes." he whispered, making me chuckle.

He pulled on my hand and we started walking again but as we were about to pass the gate, he quickly and roughly moved our hands up to show our intertwined fingers and it surprised me so much I felt my heart skip a few beats.

"FUCK YES!" he repeated in a yell, making me burst into laughter this time.

If I wasn't sure Niall loved me, I definitely was now. The fact that he literally told the world we were together proved much more than anyone could believe. I knew he was private, and so was I. I also knew he didn't like his private life to be in the spotlight, or talked about, or known, and him showing everyone, fans and paps included, that we were an item by throwing our hands up just showed me how committed he was. People would talk about us and the wrong things we did to Dylan and Heidi, people would definitely criticize us as individuals but also as a couple and I knew that for a while, people would stop talking about his music and my tv show only to blab shit about our love, but he thought it was still worth it and even if I was a bit surprised, it touched me more than I thought it would. And just like that, the blinded trust I had for Niall until he broke up with me was back, and I knew that this time, it would be different.

---

We took a nap when we arrived at the hotel and when I woke up, it was the middle of the afternoon and Niall's arm was wrapped around me as he was laying on his stomach. I ran my fingertips on his arm and reached his back, making him groan slightly. He looked so good, his eyes closed, his bottom lip a bit over his upper one in a cute pout and his hair a bit messy. It made something come alive inside me and I realized that we went through so many things to get back pretty much where we used to be. The difference was us and the way we had grown, and I knew that what we lived when we were away from each other was needed to have the relationship we had at that very moment.

I tried not to wake him up and sat up slowly and gently in bed, rubbing my eyes and yawning before grabbing my phone. I knew he didn't want me to but I searched for his name and mine in google and a bunch of pictures from the airport appeared. My lips curled more at the picture of us walking away while Niall held our hands up together. I stared at it for a few minutes and pressed my lips together, feeling suddenly ecstatic and a bit dizzy. It was really happening. I was back with Niall and we were happy together. In all the months we were apart, I had wished for it, but I never thought it would really happen at some point.

"What are you looking at?" he mumbled low, taking me out of my thoughts. "You're smiling."

I turned to him and my excited smile turned into a fond one. His eyes were half-closed and his face was still pressed on the pillow. In fact, I was pretty sure he hadn't moved at all and looking at him made something stir in my stomach. There was nothing I loved more than waking up with him, except maybe falling asleep in his arms.

I tilted my head and let the left corner of my lips raise up before turning the screen his way. It took him a few seconds to let what he was seeing sink in and he smiled too.

"Oh look, that's us telling the world we're back together." he pointed out slowly and in a low tone, an amused smile curling his lips. "I'm sorry, I'm never that impulsive normally. But I've been waiting for that for a while." He paused and I felt his arm hold my waist tighter before he squirmed a bit and put his head on my lap. "It's okay though, because this is meant to last, so everyone may as well know now. What do ya say?"

I brought my hand to his head and ran my fingers in his hair gently, making his eyes flutter. "I agree." I whispered, making him smile more.

"We're gonna get married and have a few kids. And dogs, too. I love dogs."

This time, I chuckled and licked my lips. He had mentioned marriage a few times in the past weeks and I loved it. He used to be so scared of commitment and the future and now he was literally planning it for us.

"You know what we should do now?" he asked, making me shake my head. "Stay in bed all day. Order food, watch tv, and make out. Champagne and you. That sounds perfect."

I smiled widely. "Gotta celebrate the fact that we're official, now."

"Damn right."

After a few hours, we were done eating and the bottle of champagne was empty. We were still laying in bed but I had stopped following the movie and kept staring at the ceiling. What took me out of my thoughts, once again, was Niall's voice. I blinked a few times, trying to get back to my senses, and he raised his eyebrows at me.

"Mm?" I asked, making him laugh.

He stopped the movie quickly before grabbing the sheets of the bed, pulling them over our heads and once again locking us together in our safe place. I smiled at him and turned my body his way as he did the same. It was always a bit stifling to stay under the covers for a while but at the same time, it made me feel secure like nothing else did.

"How hard did that champagne hit?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Mm, i'm tipsy." I admitted, laughing too.

"Me too." he let out, his eyes roaming on my face. "You know I want to marry you for real, right? I want to promise to be yours forever. I want to literally show everyone that no one else will ever mean to me as much as you mean to me."

"I want it too. I want to be your wife. Niall I want it more than anything."

I felt my heart jump in my chest at my confession and we kept looking at each other for a few minutes in silence. He found my left hand and brought it up to his eyes level before running his thumb gently on my ring finger. I bit my bottom lip, trying to imagine what it would feel like to be his wife, and I swallowed hard, almost ashamed that I let my mind wonder so far.

"One day..." he just murmured before looking up in my eyes. "How many kids?"

"Five." I let out, making his eyebrows raise.

"Jesus Christ, do you want to kill me, woman?"

This time, I started laughing and he pulled me closer with a groan, letting his lips press against mine before pulling slightly away. I waited until he spoke again, my lips curling more and more with every passing seconds.

"You're not serious?" he just asked, making me laugh, this time.

"How many do you want?"

"Two, maybe three." he admitted before I kissed him again, sucking gently on his upper lip.

"Then two or three we'll have." I breathed out against his mouth as he held me closer.

"And we'll live in London, and keep a house in Cali, how's that?" he proposed in a murmur. "I'll bring you to Las Vegas to get married. We'll have the best honeymoon because I'll make you cum twenty times a day for a whole week."

I started laughing against his mouth and he smirked. "Where are we going for that?"

"Bali?" he suggested.

"Mm, don't tempt me." I joked as he laughed again, deepening the kiss and making me close my eyes. "What's on your mind, Horan?" I asked lower and more seriously.

"Well, how about we practice making those two-three kids now?" he offered, making me chuckle. "I really want to make love to my official girlfriend and future wife."

"Hey, I didn't say yes just yet." I joked as his lips traveled on my jaw and neck.

"But you will yea? You just accepted to be my official girlfriend so it's a good start. You'll be my wife and marry me?"

"If you want to spend your life with me, how can I say no to that?"

"That's what I thought." he just said, giving himself a swing and making me laugh even more as he got on top of me.

I spread my legs a bit as he nibbled on the skin of my neck and I groaned when I felt his hard dick press on my inner thighs. I was tired and still a bit tipsy but the way he whispered, the sound of his voice, the feeling of his body on top of mine... all of this was too good and I felt like I never had enough of him. Even after all this time, I wanted him as much as I used to, even more, probably, and the way he was all over me made me think he felt the same.

"I want to bury my cock so deep inside you right now." he whispered, bringing his mouth back on mine. "You're so fucking beautiful. I love you so much, Olivia. You made me so happy today."

I reached for his boxers and pulled them down as much as I could, his words making my heart twist and jump in my chest. I didn't think Niall could love me as much as he seemed to, I didn't know he could want to be with me to the point where he would literally hold my hand and show everyone that we were together in a crowded airport. I had no idea he was waiting for this, I didn't know that it would make him react like that to be my official boyfriend. All of this made sense, of course, but it was just hitting me that Niall really loved me as much as I loved him and that he didn't want to lose me again.

"Please Niall, just do it." I begged him in a murmur, reaching between my legs and pulling my panties aside before grabbing his cock and lining it up.

His hip movement was slow and as he pushed himself inside me, I felt my eyes roll back and a moan escaped my lips. I moved my knees up as he lied on top of me, holding himself on his elbows as he started thrusting in and out of me slowly. It felt like torture but at the same time it was so good I moved my chin up, feeling his lips leave kisses on it.

"I love you, can't believe you're my girlfriend again." he whispered, his lips brushing against my skin.

"I was always yours, Niall. I've always been yours. Since I was 6 years old. I knew I belonged to you." I replied just as low and without thinking. "I was just scared you didn't belong to me"

He pushed himself deeper inside me and it felt so good I let out an other whimper. He remained still, waiting for my eyes to open again and meet his, and I felt one of his hands slip in my hair while the other moved a lock out of my eyes.

"I belong to you." he confessed, making a shiver run across my back. "All this soulmate shit? I believe in it now. I have to."

I bit my bottom lip, making him glance at my mouth before looking back in my eyes.

"I love you. I fucking love you." I had barely finished my sentence that he was pressing his mouth against mine again, this time fucking me harder and faster.

My back arched after a few minutes and I moaned in his mouth this time, right before his thrusts became unsteady and a bit sloppy. The orgasm felt amazing and I gripped his arms as I felt his muscles tighten. I pressed my thighs on each sides of him, pushing myself against him in motion with him as he came. Nothing felt better than that post orgasm feeling with Niall on top of me. His lips found mine and he kissed me slowly but deeply for a while until we both got down of our highs and even a little bit after.

"I'm so happy you followed me here." he admitted with a smile as I tilted my head on the pillow.

"Me too." I licked my lips and raised my eyebrows. "Are you gonna follow me back to Cali in a few days?"

"Nothing will stop me from going with you. Nothing."

He rolled off of me and I pushed the covers to breathe fresh air, just realizing that I needed it. Niall grabbed my hand and I focused back on him as he stared at my fingers, making me try to suppress the smile stuck on my lips.

"Please come to my show tomorrow." he just let out, his fingers brushing gently against mine, exactly where a wedding ring would be. "We're officially together now, so we don't care who sees you or what they see."

My heart skipped a beat and I licked my lips nervously. It would be a good start but it stressed me to think that people would start judging us even more, now that we were official. I knew Niall was not going to start kissing me or anything in public but I still felt nervous.

"Okay." I let out low feeling myself tear up. I swallowed my tears but I could see my boyfriend getting emotional too and I sniffed. "I love you Niall. I don't ever want to be away from you anymore."

He brought one of his hands to my cheek and I felt the warmth of his skin against mine as he moved closer to lean his forehead against mine.

"I'm never leaving again. I promise on my life. I'm here to stay. What we have will never die, okay?"

I nodded quickly and bit my bottom lip as I felt a tear run down my cheek. I could swear he was tearing up too and I pressed my parted lips against his. "Okay."

May 9th, 2018

I hadn't realize how much I had missed watching Niall sing and play. He was always the kid who was singing, dancing, or playing guitar when we were younger, and it always brought a bunch of people around him. He seemed so untouchable, even for me, who was his best friend. Now, with the literal crowds and album selling, it was even more obvious, but a lot less scary. The fact that I knew he loved me definitely helped but watching him do what he's always loved but this time, as a living, was just breathtaking. He was breathtaking.

I chuckled when he winked at me subtly and I rolled my eyes with a smile until I felt a hand on my arm. I jumped slightly and turned again to look at Julia who was smiling widely at me. I thought I knew what she was going to say but instead, she pulled me close into a tight hug. It took me a few seconds to answer it but when I did, she jumped a few times, bringing me with her, and finally pulled away.

"I saw the video!" she said happily, her lips curled into a bit grin.

"The video?"

"Of you two at the airport!"

I felt my cheeks turn a soft shade of red as they burned a bit and cleared my throat, looking away. I knew there were pictures but I was not aware someone was filming. Come to think about it, it was not surprising, after all. I felt two strong arms wrap around my neck from behind and I smiled immediately, recognizing the touch and the perfume. It was crazy how he still affected my moods but I could also see that I influenced his, and that made our relationship so much better.

"Niall!" he let go of me to hug Julia and I smiled, taking a step away. "I'm so happy for you! I knew it would happen! I told you you had to keep hope!"

Niall's eyes found mine and his smile faltered as his embrace around his friend loosened.

"I sort of... confided in Julia." he admitted, licking his lips as mine parted. "I know you wanted me to keep the secret, but I didn't know what to do, and I felt like shit... I needed to talk to someone."

He looked at me with fear in his eyes, as if I was going to turn on my heels and leave, but I just tilted my head on the side while staring at him.

"Hey, I understand. She's one of your closest friends." I pointed out with a shrug before sending him a smile. "I talk to Louis about almost everything." I shrugged again. "Besides, I like her."

Julia smiled more and grabbed my arm, pulling me closer to them to hug both of us at the same time. I laughed and after a few seconds, she pulled away and smiled again.

"I'll wait for you guys backstage. We're going to celebrate right?" she asked as Niall and I glanced at each other, a bit unsure. "It's one of my last shows! We have to go grab a drink together!"

"Sure, we'll do that."

She left with a big grin and I turned to Niall who was smiling fondly at me. I frowned, my lips still curled, but I had to admit that the way he was looking at me made something twitch in my stomach.

"Thank you." he whispered, bending down to kiss the top of my head.

"For?"

"For wanting to get to know my friends. I know you get along great with all our childhood friends, and my cousins and all, but I've made great friends while doing this job, and you never really seemed to be interested in befriending them too, well, except for Harry, Louis and Liam.”

I shrugged a shoulder and looked away before looking back at him and raising my nose in a small grimace. "You used to hang out with many celebrities, especially when you were dating Heidi. I don't know, Niall, to me, it's a bit intimidating." I admitted. "I never felt like I fitted with them, or belonged with those famous faces. It's just weird to me."

"I'd love to present them to you. I promise they're great."

I stared at him and after a while, my lips curled again. "Sure, I'd love to meet them." I just gave in and by seeing the smile on his face, I knew it made him happy. "Let's start with Julia. I already know I love her."

Niall laughed and cupped my face, tilting my chin up before reaching for my mouth with his. "And I know I love you."

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan story #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan writing #my fanfics #yam

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jawnjendes · 5 years ago

Text

bonus: why is their luck in a deeply sad moment? | shawn mendes

some type of au idk man, shawn x goth ex gf

WARNING: there is talk of death and suicide in this chapter. read at your own risk.

AN: i cant squeeze this into the next big fic nor can i fit it into shawn meets bc everyone hated it so its a bonus in the gg story lmao also im starying the Next Big Fic in a few days :)

masterlist | annalise’s playlist

2026.

"Sometimes I think about the what ifs," Ann said, “but I like where I am. I like what I’ve made for myself.”

Shawn had to invite her over to his house a second time, because the first time left him with many questions unanswered. He couldn’t be mad at what she said, though. He was in the same boat; he liked the life he made. You know, without the crushing loss and run in with the supernatural.

“Well, I’m happy for you,” he told her, and he really meant it. “I’m glad we were able to successfully do our own things straight after breaking up.”

“Nothing like filling the void in your heart with work!” Ann replied with a giggle. She moved a strand of hair behind her ear, and that’s when Shawn noticed something.

He took her hand and noticed a tattoo on the side of her middle finger: The Triforce.

“You got inked?” he asked, impressed.

“Oh, that’s nothing,” she replied, grabbing her sleeve to roll it up.

There was a sword on her inner arm. It was varying in shades of blue, and it also had the Triforce on it. Shawn recognized it as the Master Sword from the Legend of Zelda games.

“All this is is proof that I’m a nerd,” Ann said as she rolled her sleeve back down. “I notice you have some more ink also… and that you still wear shirts half buttoned.” She pointed to his chest.

Her finger poked the exposed skin. It shouldn’t have been as tingly as it was. Shawn smiled and placed his hand over his chest.

“More than just that,” he told her. “But I can’t show you all of them.”

Maybe it was a little risky to say that. Shawn would have taken it back if Ann’s cheeks hadn’t gone a shade of pink.

“I could say the same thing…”

Shawn quickly came to learn just how many tattoos Ann had gotten over the years. A snake and tombstones on her other arm. Feather on her collarbone, roses on her shoulder. A quote reading, “...but I’m not anymore” with stars around it on her ribcage. Something on her wrist that Shawn didn’t catch because he was busy pressing his lips to her hips and taking off her pants, where he found another tattoo. “Lucky you.” He certainly felt it.

Everything about their time together was so familiar, so easy and almost home-like. Ann’s skin touching his. Her lips perfectly molding over his. The quiet, needy gasps they both released into the bedroom. It was like going back in time, and they were in Shawn’s Toronto apartment instead of his multimillion dollar condo in LA. It was soft and slow, despite Shawn pinning Ann’s arms above her head. He didn’t outgrow that particular move, and she still seemed to like it.

Shawn had never been happier to have been on a break more than now. Most one night stands in the past began and ended very quickly, because he was on tour or in between interviews or on a break for one day. This was one person that he didn’t want to leave behind. They lied down, sweaty and dazed, facing each other. It was silent, but not awkward. Everything had a nice haze around it.

That was also when Shawn finally made out what the tattoo on Ann’s wrist was. He picked his head up in confusion.

“Is… are those torches?” he asked. “Upside down? Just like mine… and are those my initials?”

It was simple line art, less intricate than his own. Torches in an X, with “SM” right below them. Shawn has been floored many times, and this was no exception.

Ann picked her head up as well. “It’s not what it looks like.”

Shawn looked down at his chest, his torches were exactly the same, sans the initials. He wanted to give Ann the benefit of the doubt, that this wasn’t some creepy fangirl thing. Some of his one night stands ended up like that, and it wasn’t exactly easy to forget.

“It’s for a friend of mine,” Ann explained, sitting up and covering her front with the blanket. She took note of the look on Shawn’s face. “Keeping someone’s light on beyond death, remember? I assume yours is for someone too.”

They were both sitting up now, and Shawn relaxed. However, he only relaxed a little bit because now it was time to get deep.

“Mine’s for Brian. He died last year.”

Ann’s face fell. “No. Brian, your best friend? Brian, the one who constantly took the piss outta me?”

He nodded. “He was… there was an accident. Flight of stairs. Instantly killed.” It was all lies, but no human would understand.

A hand went over his, squeezing. “I’m so sorry. He just, he just fell down some stairs?”

“A lot of stairs. I don’t know I guess he was running or something. There was no way to save him. People in the house heard the crash, but by the time they found him - when I found him - it was too late.” He had told this version many times, enough times to where he could almost believe it himself.

“Fuck, man. That’s… that’s fucking terrible,” Ann said sympathetically. “But I seriously can’t believe you just told me that.”

“Why?”

“Because now I have to tell you that mine is for Stella. Those are her initials.”

Stella Martinez. Now Shawn felt a little stupid… but surprised, and he was met with a sinking feeling in his stomach. He couldn’t believe it for a second, but it fully processed in his head, and his heart began to break.

“Stella from college? Stella, who was your literal opposite and also your best friend?”

Ann solemnly nodded. Then she looked down. “She… she killed herself.”

Shawn was stunned into silence, the tightness in his chest only intensifying. The entire time he knew Stella, she was always so positive and bubbly. She was the opposite of suicidal. That’s why it was such a shock… and so sad. Oh god, who was going to tell Camila?

“When did Brian go to the other side?” Ann asked after a moment.

“A year ago last month,” Shawn replied. “And Stella?”

Ann raised an eyebrow. “Two years ago last month...”

It was a strange coincidence, but still upsetting. Both Shawn and Ann lost their best friends at the same time of the year. The urge to spill everything was thick in the air. Still, neither of them said anything for a while.

Instead, Ann reached down to the floor to pick up her clothes. Shawn’s eyes were stuck on her and that was when he spotted another word on her back. Nightmare. Small font, right shoulder blade, surrounded by a cluster of skulls. Then, he realized what she was doing.

“Are you leaving?”

She looked up, bra in hand. She was quiet as she put it back on.

“No. No, I’m not going anywhere.”

And she crawled back into bed. She made the point to keep a distance from Shawn, who was still naked. He was on his side, looking at the woman before him. Only Ann could have sex with him and bring up the subject of death. That brought a new point to mind.

“How do you enjoy death?” he asked. “I think I’ve asked you this before, but after losing someone and attending their funeral, I’m having a hard time understanding your perspective.”

Ann took a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling. “I don’t enjoy the act of dying. People die every day in horrible ways. People mourn and fall into depression because of death. That’s not something to enjoy.”

“So what’s your deal with it?”

“I’m just embracing the face that it’s inevitable. I do that for myself. I will die eventually, or tomorrow-”

Shawn made a face; he didn’t like that thought.

“It doesn’t make it any easier when someone I know goes,” Ann continued. “You’d think with all the research I’ve done it would be. The ones we love leave this mortal plane, and all they leave is their absence. And that alone is a lot to process.”

“What’s the hardest part?”

“The what if’s.”

Shawn asked because he really wanted to know more about what happened to Stella. He had to know the things that led up to the tragedy, mostly because he knew Camila would ask for details, even if they were hard to hear.

He figured he should spill his side first.

“The last thing I said to Brian was to get the hell out of my room,” he began. “We were fighting, fighting over something so fucking stupid, and I was so pissed at him. That was our last interaction. He fell down the stairs because he was trying to find me in this big huge mansion…”

Ann sat up a little bit, hand over her chest. “Here?”

“Oh no, not here. I was staying at a friend’s house in London for a work thing. Place was huge, easy to get lost in,” Shawn clarified. “Brian, Andrew, all of them were leaving back to Toronto and I didn’t want to go just yet. Part of it was because I was still pissed. Maybe if I had run into him first before he fell… If I hadn’t kicked him out of my room a few nights prior… If I was less of an asshole…”

“Maybe you would have slipped on the stairs,” Ann told him. “Maybe you guys would have had an even bigger argument later that would have ended your friendship. There’s no way to tell, and sometimes that’s what sucks the most.”

Huh. Most people tell him not to dwell on it. No wonder Ann was a shrink now.

“Losing someone is one of the hardest things we, as humans, have to face,” she said. “It’s not easy in the slightest. Besides, the grieving period takes about three to five years, so you - we - are still in the beginning stages of it. Thinking about the what ifs, what you want to change, what you wish you could say to Brian - all of that is normal.”

The two of them let those words settle for a moment. Shawn’s eyes were a little misty, and redirecting the topic was probably not going to help. But he laid his stuff out on the table.

“What about you?” he asked.

“Me?”

“Your what ifs?”

Ann paused, looking around the room. “What if I had put my Master’s to use and noticed the goddamn signs?”

Shawn watched her, hoping she would at least return the eye contact.

“I’m an expert in this shit,” she said. “I have the years of school, the degrees, and the licenses for detecting things like this. I only figured it out the moment her dad called me.”

“How do you detect when someone is suicidal?”

“In her case, she was elated. When someone makes that decision, they reach a state of euphoria because they know their pain is about to end.”

“But Stella was always-”

“Believe me, I know. I hadn’t talked to her since graduating in Toronto, so I thought she hadn’t changed at all. But I would see on her social media, she just moved back to her parents’ house in Florida, and she hinted that she wasn’t happy about it.”

As if Shawn couldn’t take another blow. Come to think of it, he never heard much about Stella’s home life. He didn’t even think that it could be a negative place for her.

“I was in Jacksonville for work,” Ann continued, “so I hit her up, and we met up for lunch. We talked for about an hour, and she said that I was always a good friend and college wife and that she’ll always love me. And my stone hearted ass just said ‘cool, you don’t suck’ and that was that. A month later, she’s as blue as the pills she took.”

“Ooo…” Shawn sighed, cringing at that mental image. Sweet, warm hearted Stella cold and lifeless. Call it morbid, awful thinking, but Shawn wished Brian looked like that in death instead of the bloody mess he turned out to be.

“Yeah. And her parents had her embalmed and put in an airtight casket, but that’s a whole other rant.” Ann waved it off and lied back down.

Shawn didn’t know what else to do except lie down as well. While sharing the stories of how their friends died, he couldn’t help but feel just a little bit closer to Ann. The first time they met, it took fighting tooth and nail to get her to open up. Now, Shawn felt okay silently reached for her hand, and tenderly holding it in his.

Both of them winded up at the same awards show. Both lost their best friends. Both got the same type of tattoo to honor them. Neither of them anticipated meeting again. This couldn’t be a coincidence.

_______

goth gf taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @ilsolee @mendesromano @kitykatnumber @strangerliaa @iloveshawnieboi @someoneunimportantxx @goldenmndes @calyumthomas @shawnsunflower @shawnvvmendes @parkeraul @havethetimeeofyourlifee @chillingbythesea @wronglanemendes @softmendesss @peruvian-bae @theprivatewritings

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes smut #shawn x oc #shawn x goth gf #if yall r pissedt abt brian #it had already been establishedt #i made my bed imma fukin lie in it

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bo0zey · 5 years ago

Note

Pick your favorite questions from the list.

i will do them all for u 0.o

1. Name cianna [see-ah-nah]

2. Nationality mexican irish german romanian hungarian french

3. Age 20

4. Birthday december 17, 1999

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign) sun: sagittarius; ascendant: leo; moon: aries

6. Gender female

7. Sexuality uhhhhhhhhhhhh idk but i will willingly kiss either gender

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself) /tagged/my-face or u could just google pictures of fat rats

9. What do you/did you study? I’m currently a sophomore nursing major!

10. What's your current job like?/What job would you like to have? I’m currently a microbiology TA and I love it :) My dream job would be something with animals, like a vet tech or veterinarian

11. Your birth order i’m the oldest!

12. How many siblings do you have? 2 younger brothers

13. Do you have good relations with your family? my mom was my best friend, my dad and i get along better now that i’m in college, my brothers and i get along pretty well & we’re staring to get closer now that they’re getting older n growing up n developing their own personalities lol

14. How many friends do you have? errrr idk this is a hard question. i have a lot of acquaintances but i’d say i have maybe like less than 10 real friends??

15. Your relationship status single :D

16. What do you look for in a SO? funny!!!!!!!!!must be humorous!!!!and sarcastic and a little weird w darker sense of humor so we can laugh n be dumb together!!!!!!! also i would like them to be kind to me and those around them bc mean ppl suck. also they have to like animals. also i would like them to be loyal and trustworthy and 110% in love w me. and for physical stuff idk kinda attractive but NOT CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE like i personally don't really like the typically ‘attractive’ person???

17. Do you have a crush? currently in love w the cute chinese boy who lives across from my dorm room even tho i have never even spoken to him n he is totally unaware of my existence!!!!!!!! hahah oops :D

18. When did you have your first kiss? i mean technically 3rd grade i think but that doesn't really count so like maybe 16????

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands? i mean in the long term i would definitely like to have a serious relationship but at the moment i’m only into casual stuff bc my heart isn't ready to be broken again sknfkjdbnkjd

20. What are your deal breakers? errrr i’m not sure....cheating is a no no, ppl that are interested in fucking every single person they see is a turn off, DUMB PEOPLE like ppl you can't even have a proper conversation with bc they're so DUMB, and ppl who r mean/judgmental/arrogant

21. How was your day? ok! accidentally slept thru my math class but caught a glimpse of my crush across campus when he was abt to smoke a cig and i got chipotle n i online shopped a ton from shein

22. Favourite food & drink deep dish spinach pizza from giordano’s & orange vitamin water

23. What position do you sleep in? i fall asleep on my left side hugging a body pillow

24. What was your last dream about? ate a braid of hair and inside the braid was bacon

25. Your fears not going to make it thru nursing school, not being financially stable as an adult, not having a family of my own, probably more but those r currently top 3

26. Your dreams i don't have any idk....maybe having like a house of my own and having as many animals as i want?? and i would like a loving partner with a daughter of our own

27. Your goals survive nursing school and lose 40 pounds and don't die before my cat

28. Any pets? i have a dog named cherry Cola, a cat named Leto, and a betta fish named Perc

29. What are your hobbies? writing stories about people in love, listening to music

30. Any cool places in your area? in my college town??? NO it sucks. in my hometown??? Not really it’s a small lil village with only restaurants and parks. but at home i’m near downtown chicago so that’s cool i guess

31. What was your last awkward situation? the first thing that comes to mind is my FIRST and so far ONLY encounter with my crush. we live in the same dorm building and i was wearing my nursing scrubs and had no make up on and about to go upstairs to my dorm, and then i heard footsteps and i was like ‘hahaha what if its my crush’ AND THEN HE FUCKIGJNG appeared from down the hallway to go back to HIS DORM [which is RIGHT ACROSS FROM MINE] and i literally STARED at him, then threw open the door and RAN UP THE STAIRS LIKE I LITERALLY DIDNT EVEN HOLD THE DOOR OPEN FOR ME AND HE WAS LIKE SO CLOSE BEHIND ME I WAS JUST SO NERVOUS MY FLIGHT OR FIGHT RESPONSE TOOK OVER AND I FUCKING FLED I LITERALLY RAN AWAY FROM HIM I AHTE MYSELF SO MUCH IM SUCH AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!!

32. What is your last regret? errrrr idk i regret a lot of dumb things.......

33. Language/s you can speak English n a LITTLE bit of Spanish

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.) i’m really into zodiac stuff and i have got to say they are pretty spot on in accuracy idk

35. Have any quirks? ummmm ofc!!i am the quirkiest person i know hajnjfxbkjx like if u asked my roommates/friends they’d probably be better at answering this than me bc i don't see anything abt me as quirky but they always tell me i am quirky and do weird things but idk man I'm just existing

36. Your pet peeves err idk currently its ppl that constantly brag about dumb shit

37. Ideal vacation somewhere warm with me + the ocean + the loml + unlimited alcohol

38. Any scars? yeah :D both emotional AND physical!!!!

39. What does your last text message say? ‘ok thats a more than fair statement’

40. Last 5 things from your search history how many carbs should i eat, chipotle bowl calories, is the grim reaper the angel of death, ceftriaxone adverse effects, red man syndrome

41. What's your [device] background? lockscreen is a peach-theme background i made and home screen is my weight loss goals

42. What do you daydream about? the characters in my stories.................and being skinny

43. Describe your dream home pretty brick house??? flowers outside??? 3 floors--main floor, basement and upstairs??? 3 bedrooms n 3 bathrooms maybe??? master bedroom has its own bathroom!!! and open concept main floor. big kitchen and very homey n warm all around. as for like an apartment i want something cozy and aesthetically pleasing and warm

44. What's your religion/Your thought about religion i don't have a religion but if ppl do have a religion then thats not my business

45. Your personality type entj but only bc i got 3% extraverted; i am very closely related to intj tho n i think i fit that one better

46. The most dangerous thing you've done uhhhhhh probably operating a vehicle while high out of my mind. definitely the dumbest thing i ever did 0/10 would recommend anyone ever doing that

47. Are you happy with your current life? its ok but it could probably be better. i want to be done w college and skip to the part where i have a successful career and my own home and i can lay up w the loml every night

48. Some things you've tried in your life alcohol???weed??gummy edibles....

49. What does your wardrobe consist of? sweaters/sweatshirts/leggings

50. Favourite colour to wear? black, maroon, peach, purple, gray, idk

51. How would you describe your style? oh jeez idk i wear whatever i want so like e-girl when i really try and basic white girl when i don't care

52. Are you happy with your current looks? no i hate everything about myself lol

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be? more freckles on my face....also be thinner n have longer hair

54. Any tattoos or piercings? my nose and septum are pierced!

55. Do you get complimented often? kinda by my friends but i always yell at them to stop so they don't compliment like as much bc they know i hate it but they still do it sometimes idk

56. Favourite aesthetic? i wanna be an e-girl yo!!!!!!!!!

57. A popular trend that you dislike nobody has a crush on me and i hate it

58. Songs you're currently obsessed with? pied piper by BTS

59. Song you normally wouldn't admit you like. anything by BTS lol i used to like be embarrassed for how much i like k pop but now i don't really care lol #stanBTS2020

60. Favourite genre? rap/r n b/alternative

61. Favourite artist/band/genre? i listen to every genre except country sooooooo yeah i really like billie eilish, BTS, the weeknd, juicewrld, lil nas x, trippie red, post malone,

62. Hated popular songs/artists? i don't rlly like selena gomez or justin bieber or taylor swift

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5 only - RY X i.f.l.y. - Bazzi novacane - frank ocean jungle - drake bang! - trippie redd

64. Can you sing or play any instruments? no and no

65. Do you like karaoke? no but i like to sing along to songs when I'm alone

66. Own any albums? haha noooo i got apple music son

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations? errr RARELY i used to listen to r n b stations tho

68. Favourite movie/series? idk donnie darko?? i also just finished tharntype n that was really good. also i liked tokyo ghoul. AND GIVEN IS REALLY GOOD

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc i like horror/scary/paranormal/funny movies and i like love stories in books

70. Your fictional crush/es danny phantom, ken kaneki

71. Which fictional character is you? uhhhh idk...

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so frerard, ryden, taekook, mewgulf

73. Favourite greek god? idk they all kinda suck but maybe hades

74. A legend from where you live that you like i don't really know any:(

75. Do you like art? What's your favourite work or artist? i like to look at art! i think van gogh is cool

76. Can you share your other social media? ig: ciannnna venmo: ciannnna

77. Favourite youtubers? i don't really watch youtubers but maybe shane dawson and emma chamberlain

78. Favourite platform? twitter

79. How much time do you spend on the internet? too much time

80. What video games have you played? Which one's your favourite? i once played GTA5 that was fun!

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts) idk i don't really read anymore:/ i was into the hunger games and the twilight series when i was young. now i kinda read online manga and i really liked BJ Alex and killing stalking. and like for online books the unholyverse series, a splitting of the mind, the anatomy of a fall

82. Do you play board/card games? no but i like to play checkers and uno and cards against humanity

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema? nopee

84. Favourite holiday halloween is cool also christmas is alright bc gifts

85. Are you into dramas? i’ve been getting into thai boys love dramas lol sue me

86. Would you use death note, if you had one? um YES.

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to? everyone needs to be a little kinder and have a crush on me

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse? absolutely not I'm not physically fit and don't have useful skills

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be? vampire duh [or maybe ghost]

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death? i want to see my mom

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick? idk something cool ... i love the name Daisy

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week? idk probably kylie jenner

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo idk the alien? 94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true -im very productive with my time management skills -my favorite color is purple -i don't get nervous when I'm alone in public

95. Cold or hot? cold

96. Be a hero or be a villain? anti-hero

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme? sing if i’m good at it but if I'm not good then rhyme

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time? shapeshifting

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?immortal

100. ..... or .....? ......?

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ellerevelle · 5 years ago

Text

okay so im feeling crazy and detached again (as usual lately)

but instead of spiraling into absolute fucking panic, I’m deciding to take today to just ... not wholly subscribe to this manner of thinking BUT. JUST FOR NOW. I feel like taking some of the craziness flack off myself and blaming it on some shit outside of myself. Because feeling this weird and detached cant all just be me. So here’s a brainstorming of whats got me fucked up, in no particular order:

Trump is our stupid President

That guy who told me he loved me daily and asked me to be his girlfriend after basically living with me immediately after meeting me and I fell for hard despite a ton of red flags CHEATED on me while I was away visiting home.

And then blamed it on MY bad communication? fuck that guy.

But now I see one of the girls he slept with (multiple times, three days in a row) I see her everywhere all the time in everyones instagrams, at everyones parties... ugh.

Um. People are dying. Close to me. More importantly and spefcifically women I love are dead.

I didnt get to see Inga before she died. I was too busy forging a relationship with CHEATER GUY. Didnt get home in time to see her. Talk to her.

Grandma. This has been the whole first year without her, come November. Its subtle, but terrible and I hate it. She was my last matriarch. The last woman who’s blood is in me.

because Mom’s dead too. And has been since August of 2015. 2015, right? God it feels like forever ago now, probably because I’ve pushed it away. She died unexpectedly and NO ONE IN MY FAMILY HAS SAID THE WORD SUICIDE OUT LOUD even though thats what happened. She OD’d on prescribed opiate painkillers to escape her depression. And we NEVER talk about it.

So I kindof feel insane. Not talking about things that are clearly there. Like, are they not clearly there for anybody else? Now all my women are gone. My brother literally avoids talking about feelings. My dad is a little more receptive but is more the comforting type than the forthcoming, express onesself type. Getting sentimentality out of my brother is like pulling teeth sometimes. But yet if his son does something cute, its God’s Work and he cant help but cry and get that beautiful lovie squishy look on his face.

I’m jealous of my own nephew. I see the way my Mom loved me, in the way my Brother loves his son. And I miss being that perfect to somebody. My Dad loves me forever and always and there isnt a word for how grateful I feel for our relationship. I dont take that for granted at all. It actually kindof scares me because... hah, well what if Dad dies? Like, before I’m ready? I’ll be even MORE fucked!

Anyways. Austins been pissing me off. I’m sorry but although Polyamory is possible and cool and im sure quite beautiful for many,

The Austin poly scene is fucked and tainted and a bunch of slutty people having orgies and not TALKING about anything and its ruining the healthy vibe poly is incumbent upon.

So, whatever I’m angry. So fuck that noise.

I feel like because of cheater guy and my anger at the psuedo poly orgy sexy bullshit scene in Austin, I feel like I’ve broken up with a whole group of friends. Like, I dont want to be around any of it. I dont want to see you eat mushrooms and twerk. I dont want to see your stupid, super naked outfit. I dont think its hot you carry a flogger or can pole dance or slink around like a tarantino character. It used to be hot and thrilling and fun, when I felt like it was connected and for love and sharing and caring. But now it all just is slutty and vapid and useless and cold. Like a sad clown. And thats not sexy, its dark and desperate. *this is about both VERY particular people and broad general strokes. There are several extremely amazing friends in the scene and outskirts thereof that truly inspire me and dont fall into this catagory in my mind, although they’d probably still be angry with me for dissing things ^^ the way I just did but. fuck it, this is MY journal entry and I can be irrational if I want to.

You cant be open fucking minded ALL the time. Sometimes people really arent acting with anyones best intentions but their own. I’ve used up SO MUCH FUCKING ENERGY making myself soften and open and “woke” and trying to go with everybodys flow. And I’m exhausted and over it. I have my own principles and theres nothing wrong with having differing opinions than someone else.

All summer I’ve been feeling like I’m a bad person for not liking or not understanding this hyper sexual scene in Austin. I thought, “why am I shaming a scene thats giving me opportunity to really shine and be free?” when, in an IDEAL world, yes thats what the scene could be. But in what actually fucking unfolds -- humans SUCK and dudes SUCK and girls SUCK and everybody (especially when horny) are fucking STUUUUPIIIIIDDDD and ideals get thrown out the window! people arent nearly as “woke” as I gave them the actual credit for. Seriously. So! I’m fuckin OUTTIE!

I’ve felt broken up with a whole scene. FUck cheater guy, fuck poly, fuck orgies, fuck people who are reckless with my love.

Back to the list:

I’ve been eating too much out of boredom. Which I’ll blame on lack of quality social interaction in this town. Where are the scholars? Where are the sexy edgy BRAINY people? I’m tired of hot people in little clothing in the summer.

Ah! Another thing for the list. its been TOO FUCKING HOT OUT. FOR MONTHS. 100 DEGREES FOR MONTHS. thats enough to make anyone insane.

So i’m sick of teenie boppers in their nothing outfits in the heat.

I want old smart people in peacoats. I miss books and weather and frowns. Irritable debates about literature or physics or religious theories.

I only like my own brand of cigarettes.

My roommates are annoying me. I dont really like my house anymore. Theres too many humans and not enough square footage. Four people to one kitchen is TOO MUCH SHIT. EVERYONE BUYS THEIR OWN BANANAS AND THEY ALLLLLL GO BROWN ON THE TABLE. thats four peoples worth of bad bananas. FUcking stupid.

I dont have a hairdresser here. Sometimes when I feel shitty I like to throw money at the problem. Buy something. Get a haircut. See a show. Etc.

And my hairdresser love is in Philadelphia and getting a flight to get a haircut is slightly insane (without a longer visit)

I miss Adam.

What else can I blame my upset on. Shitty politics, shitty weather, shitty social sexual scene in my town, I dont like my house, I dont like my hair. Its too expensive to live here. No one in my immediate acquaintance or friend circle seems interested in the sort of romantic relationship I’m seeking, nor if they did does anyone have the “it” factor I look for which I’ll *try* to describe maybe in another post.

So. I sit inside my room and try to fix stupid remedial things as if itd make a big impact. I tidy and put away clothes in attempt to feel less cluttered but am too scared to make BIG cuts and BIG changes. So instead I light insence and watch netflix and eat too much. I have started going to Barre3 again more and have been semi regular with therapy so thats something.

I really ought to start doing “morning pages” like the book Fiona loaned me suggests in its FIRST GODDAMN CHAPTER. But, alas, I am lazy.

No, I have become recently lazy.

I’m spoiled. I dont do things I dont want to do. Its a major character flaw. I only push and struggle if I see worthyness in it, and lately theres been serious lack of evidence of that in, well, anything.

#depression!

so, I guess in summation- because nothing has been a WORTHWHILE struggle, EVERYTHING feels like a struggle. Humph. thats... thats not good. But it does, because i dont see the worth in a lot of goals or tasks or even relationships, (and i dont mean the greedy “what can I GET for ME out of this!” sort of b.s.) (I mean the... conserve precious energy, is this going to teach me something or help me grow as a person or bring love into my life sort of vibe) ...

when I dont think the energy expenditure is going to pay off, I dont do it. Or I do it half way or lazily or with tentative fear. I guess I could do an experiment and just do everything with HOPE and see if my energy put in will get a different result... but. like. I feel like I did that all summer and he cheated on me. And my “friends” said “dont be angry, be poly” and I couldnt call on my Mom or Grandma and so I call on eating and isolation and running away to visit home where no one cares I dont have a job. where the house is big and the air is cold and my friends are smart.

I really miss Kristian. That was one of the greatest feelings of self love in my entire life. I felt like, if someone that special noticed ME. Saw ME. Little old, semi chubby, not famous ME, and wanted me around for a couple tour dates. Then I ought to believe in myself TOO. I wanted to dance, I wanted to make art, I wanted to take photos, I wanted to be bold, I wanted to be humble, I felt so open and content with myself. I was motivated to work out, I was motivated to eat healthy and clean and small portions. It was easy. It felt so fun. I loved him. I dreamt big. My imagination was so warm and excited. My inner critic was GONE.

But he faded away. He got back with his ex. The shooting star left the sky. I’m still grateful for the experience at all, but.

I feel a little stupid for thinking anything could’ve happened.

And I truly miss feeling so special and excited about life.

I dont want to run away from Austin out of fear. But I cant tell if I’m unhappy and want to leave genuinely, or if this is the spoiled part of me thats like, “this sucks, lets leave.” instead of pushing though, curating something better with some struggle, and sticking it out.

How do people make big life decisions like this? I feel like thats what marriages do. People stay together and fight. But sometimes they get divorced anyways, its just been longer. More years wasted. When maybe it wouldve been healthier to leave sooner and cut the cord and be free to live without, sooner.

I really like a lot of things about this city. But I really dislike a lot too. And I cant tell where I want my life to go, in a grand sense, so its hard to pick which attributes will matter in the long run.

I dont think I should leave yet. Maybe a new house. Or like, serious efforts to declutter this one. Is this just excuses? Ugh.

Declutter this house. If that doesnt feel better, leave the house and move to a new part of austin. If that doesnt feel better, leave austin.

I need a job.

#fml

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lowsodiumfreaks67 · 6 years ago

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Comic Con Chris Evans

Word Count : 1520

Warnings : Absolutely none

Masterlist

Requested by @midgardiansstuff

“ Hey I just saw that your requests were open!I just found your blog and i already love it! Can I do a request with Chris Evans? The reader is married and she is an actress, too. Maybe the reader is at the tonight show and they show a video in which the reader wears a costume so no one recognize her and she surprises Chris at the Comic Con and he doesn’t recognize her, too until she pulls down her wig? “

A/N : I loved the story idea, hope I did it justice :)

“ Our first guest this evening is one of the stars of the Avengers movies and the wife of fellow Avenger Chris Evans, everyone please welcome back the one and only Y/n Evans ” the audiences cheers hit you like a wall when the curtain was lifted revealing you standing there in an emerald green dress with matching heels, you grinned wide as you made your way over to Jimmy’s couch. Hugging Jimmy tightly you both said your hellos before taking a seat as the cheers from the audience finally calmed enough that you could hear yourselves again.

“ Hey everyone ” you said with a wave to the audience which made them go absolutely wild again “ Oh my gosh Y/N it is so amazing to have you here again, now I know you’ve been very busy filming and doing conventions and press so thank you for taking the time to come here tonight” , “ Oh Jimmy I wouldn’t miss this for the world, although it is weird being here by myself and not with Chris or another cast member “, Jimmy reaches below the desk and pulls out a photo of the last time you were on the show sat beside your husband Chris “ Ah yes your husband fellow avenger Chris Evans, how long have you guys been married now ? “, thinking back fondly to the day you married your best friend you smiled softly “ Um it’ll be our 5 year anniversary next week actually “ the crowd cheered and clapped, Jimmy had a cheeky look in his eyes “ 5 years wow that’s amazing it feels just like yesterday you guys announced you were engaged, no sign of any kids yet? “ your cheeks burned hot, you chuckled quietly “ Uh no not yet, we’ve both been super busy with stuff and the Avengers movies, we just haven’t found the right time yet”, “ Ah yes the Avengers, how did you manage to convince them to let you join the cast when they already had one Evans on set “ “ well Jimmy don’t tell Chris I said this but the Russo brothers said they wanted to have the better Evans on set as well “ the audience erupted into laughter at your statement, the interview then continued on for a little with a few questions about the avengers and upcoming projects.

“ Alright so you mentioned that you flew to San Diego last weekend to see your husband but he didn’t know that you were doing that did he ? “ you chuckled to yourself because you knew where this was going “ Yeah I did, we hadn’t seen each other face to face in a few weeks and I was getting pretty lonely so I decided to fly out and surprise him at Comic Con and got a friend of mine to film the whole trip “ “ Oh yeah you definitely surprised him alright “ Jimmy laughed as he turned to the camera “ Here we have the video of Y/N surprising her husband Captain America himself Chris Evans at San Diego Comic Con “ he gestured to the screen behind him as the studio got slightly darker to let everyone see the screen clearly, your face popped up on the screen behind you as the video began with you standing in your living room at yours and Chris shared home addressing the camera.

“ Hey guys, so I've been apart from my husband Chris for a few weeks now because of work and iv started to get a little lonely” walking over to your suitcase you pulled your messenger bag over your shoulder “ So I've decided what’s better than face time and calls ? well how about travelling to San Diego Comic Con to surprise him “ the video then showed you walking towards your front door before you turned back “ Oh and get ready Chris cause i’m going to be coming for ya when you least expect it “ the video cut to a montage of the airport, the flight and car journey to the hotel.

The next shot is of you in a hotel room with a Captain America Civil War costume on, it was one of Chris on screen costumes that had been kindly given to you and altered by the Marvel wardrobe department, “ Okay so we’re almost ready to go Y/N how are you feeling now ? “ your friend asked from behind the camera as you pulled on your boots “ Umm yeah i’m getting a little nervous cause I don’t know how this is gonna pan out but I hope it works “ pulling your helmet over your head you grabbed grabbing your shield you turned to the camera “ How do I look guys, think i’ll get recognized ?” the next shot was of you standing outside the convention center getting ready to go in “ Before anyone says anything because I know someone will, I do have this slightly planned, only Chris assistant knows i’m here cause I obviously have to let them know when im coming, let’s not waste anymore time and get in there “ you practically ran towards the entrance whooping and cheering as you went, showing your pass you were allowed into the convention center quickly without any trouble. There was a short montage of you walking around the convention floor looking at all the stalls and pointing out pictures and figurines of yourself and the Avengers, you didn’t usually get to do this at events so it was amazing to get out there amongst the fans even though they had no clue that it was you down there walking amongst them.

The video finally cut to you standing behind a blue curtain “ Ahh i’m so excited, so i’m stood behind the curtain of Chris photo op, he’s literally right there and has no idea what’s going on “ you pointed to the curtain behind you where you could see the faint shadow of Chris posing for photos with fans, with a large grin on your face you pulled your helmet back down over your face “ Lets go get into line and surprise him “ the camera followed you as you joined the line for a photo, after a while waiting you were finally next, Chris assistant came over to get your photo op ticket, when they realized it was you they gave you a small nod and sent you over to Chris.

“ Wow dude that costume is absolutely incredible “ he said happily as you walked towards him, honestly your hands were sweating so bad you were glad you had the finger less gloves on “ Uh yeah damn thing cost quite a bit “ you said quickly with a chuck which made Chris laugh too, you made sure to change your voice a little as to not give anything away just yet, he was about to say something else when his assistant called his name “ Chris sorry buddy but can you come over here for just a second “ I’m so sorry about this i’ll be 2 seconds “, “ Its alright i understand “ the second his back was turned you looked over at the few fans who could see you and gestured at them to stay quiet before removing the helmet, “ Sorry about that, what you say we get this photo done, got any poses in mind ? “ Chris asked as he began turning back around but he froze on the spot when he saw you in front of him “ Well i was thinking you could give me a big hug Cap “ you grinned as he finally stepped towards you and pulled you into him and lifted you off the ground in a tight bear hug, the fans at the side cheered and awed when he set you back down but quickly pulled you into a sweet kiss, you heard the camera go off as the photographer caught the moment for you guys.

The video then ended and the lights in the studio brightened again as the audience cheered, clapped and awed “ Wow Y/N you really did surprise him, that costume was amazing I hope you gotta keep it “ you were about to answer when you felt someone's hands on your shoulders “ Yeah Jimmy she did keep it, it’s right next to my cap costume in the closet “ you whipped your head around quickly to see Chris standing behind you, within seconds you were on your feet rounding the sofa to hug him, as you greeted him Jimmy sent the show to commercial break “ okay I think it’s about time for a break, thank you to the wonderful Y/N for coming on and talking to us and for sharing the video and thank you to Chris for coming by to say Hello, we’ll see you back here in a few minutes “ the audience cheered as you and Chris said your goodbyes and headed towards your dressing room “ Well i guess you can say we’re even with the surprises now “ Chris chuckled as he pulled you into his side when you flopped down on the small couch “ Yeah i guess you could say that “ you whispered with a smile as you snuggled into him, it was hard being apart from each other but it was like heaven when you were together.

#Chris Evans #chris evans imagines #captain america #Steven Rogers #Steven Grant Rogers #steven rodgers imagines #captain america imagines #marvel #marvel imagine #civil war #infinity war #avengers 4

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thegurlbehindthesmile · 3 years ago

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Head Storm.

If i don't take minute to write these things down they just weigh so heavy. where do i begin.

i'm frustrated.

sometimes its like a repeating nightmare. Its me and brian and we are on a 13 hour flight to Germany. this double decker plane is huge and filled with strangers and i cant see their faces. i know our destination is a long way away. im tired. and there we are in the middle row. u next to me and me on the isle. We're sharing your blue ipod with music i never really listen to and this is the moment im stuck in.

for a minute my body goes into drive. at first you think the dream would play out as i remember, but this isnt a memory its a dream and now that im more aware- more awake within the dream; im always asking myself.

why am i here? wheres juan? wheres julian? (thats right this is a dream/ im sleeping)

and i realize im meant to doo something. and i go and look at brian and its not the same. i can barely see his face and i no longer remeber the sound of his voice. its as if im stuck in my seat.

the dream is almost paused- as i struggle to put these pieces of the real memory back together. its like im waiting. im waiting for brian to speak first. im just sitting here. on this plane.

i went to russia in 2005. the trip was from philly airport to germany than germany to russia.

it was for a youth peace team mission. we met up with kids our age over there and talked about religion and life. it wasnt just us two- we had a team of our friends and it was amazing.

It was the first time i had left the country- it was the first time i had flown without my mom. first time i felt homesick. the first time i saw how big the world really is. how there is so much to see and so much going on. it was an experience.

i never knew Demisexual was a thing. (The term 'demisexual' comes from the concept being described as being "halfway between" sexual and asexual. ... The gray-A spectrum usually includes individuals who very rarely experience sexual attraction; they experience it only under specific circumstances.)

i didnt even know what sexual was- i was young naive and anything i did know about sex and beauty most likely came from the wrong place. i managed to get all the way to freshman year of highschool without really relationships that included sexual and non sexual.

freshman year was horrible. i was the new girl becuase i didnt attend the same middle school as the other kids and my prior school was MUCH smaller than the highschool i went to. but i was excited for the change. i asked for the change.

its easy to say "well idk?" when u have lack of experience. Idk why i was single so long. idk why i never wanted a bf. idk why i have never kissed anyone idk? idk? idk? (...now i know) my first thoughts were always like omg maybe noone wanted to kiss me? maybe im the weird one. less desired. not wanted. i was the problem. i imagined my body was less than perfect and i guess my attitude and demenor wasnt the dating type (lies) i just felt weird and alone.

sometimes people cant make a sexual connection unless they have an emotional connection with someone as well. it isnt prude it isnt wierd its just how it works (literally) the better and more i get to know you i can finally start feeling any real connection at all especially sexually.

this new demisexual wasnt even a thing until i was half way through my twenties...THAT and pansexual (not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity.) people would ask "well whats ur type?!" idk id say?? i didnt even realize internally i found both sexs appealing. not even just sexs just ANYone. hearts not parts we say now.

i was basiclly lost ,frustrated and didnt understand a damn thing about myself.

brian and i were friends. we went to the same church- we lived in the same town. our families knew each other. it was a very safe space for me. i didnt think brian liked me. ( i didnt think ANYONE liked me; that way anyway) i had guy friends i had girl friends i just felt like we were all at the same level. most my girl friends had kissed people, most had bfs; same with the guys. i just didnt... it wasnt that i didnt like brian- i just had no idea what any of this stuff was. how to even begin "liking someone" i wasnt stupid - i was scared? i felt scared. worried that becase i hadnt had the experiences - that i wasnt good at ANY of it. i got to know brian because he was around. youth group trips and church events ; school- we were always hanging around each other.

i was never a physical person. honestly self pleasure was the only pleasure i knew and i thought id be going to hell for masturbating so theres that complex. a secret i held tight forever.

i didnt know the more i talked and was around brian i would fall inlove with him. people SAYYY that- but in my world it was a must. it was inevitable. as long as he was open with me and vulnerable- i began to want him.

he was my first kiss. and he let me kiss him. it might of seemed innocent ( i mean it was really) but it was big for me. the only person in the world i had let in. and he was ready to reak havoc on my new world. kisses lead to make outs- making out lead to sex- and that was that. id say i was his or he was mine but i guess we were each others. i wasnt ready to do this with anyone else. i didnt think i even could. it took so long for brian to become this person for me. i was..postive; id make this love last a life time. but that wasnt the case it was a rocky 3 years but at the end of it i personally learned alot.

i still didnt know all that i said above. on my rocky one relationship road... i was frustrated. i didnt know these things existed and while life seemed easy for brian- it was not for me. i struggled and argued with myself resulting in very poor communication with brian leading to only end in sight. if i wasnt making an emotional connection with my person then it had to be the opposite; i wasnt interested at all. almost the opposite- i felt nothing.

i let the hurt find its way in- i let it block any form of fix. the emotions were turned off. and the result was sexless.

i went on a rampage and found a random lover. Peter was ..peter. i didnt know him prior to meeting him- i barely knew much about him at all. all i knew was i was numb and needed to feel again. ( now if only i had known who i was i would of tried to build and talk through these emotions, break some walls down. reopen the lines. reconnect and succeed. but i didnt know that. all i knew was i was hurting and i nolonger had my person- i wanted to feel again.) i wouldnt even say i was attracted to peter. i really wasnt "looking" at all. i wasnt looking with my eyes or my heart.

i was already pretty good at hurting myself just plain jane. but this was a whole different world. what if i could just have sex and not care. just do it and live. just feel something. and i did it. i found peter and yeah we had sex. i was postive i didnt want a relationship ( i was heading down the wrong road in the wrong direction WITH no directions) it was a mess. a mess that didnt last long (thankfully)

i look back at it now and would like to have lunch with peter. although im sure im a spek of nothing in his life stream; he was a pretty big rock in mine. mainly to say sorry. sorry for using him. more sorry that i had no intentions at all. i was a shell of person and im sorry he never got the chance to meet the true me. cuz im not that person at all. and i think he was geniune and we could of learned alot from each other.

i am 30 years old now and still to this day brian and peter are the only people ive slept with except my current husband.

ive trusted 2 (brian and juan) of those souls with my heart. my whole heart. ive been with them to the extent i lost myself. my body has craved them and known them. and they will forever have a piece of me. they took with them what insecurities i had and threw them out the window. i was engulfed and loved and it didnt stop. i had alot of sex with brian as i currently have alot of sex with juan (my husband)

if i had known who i was then i would of talked to more people. resulting in more meaningful connections. resulting in more stories and experiences to tell about. girls guys gays all different kinds of souls i would of touched and danced with. but i didnt know what i know now.

time has given me the learning ive neeeded and now i know alot.

as my nightmare continues its me and brian sitting on a 13 hour plane. i want to ask him how he is, and what hes doing. what other souls hes experienced and what life is like for him now. we would laugh and joke and unerstand that life goes on and although we are not lovers any longer we wouldnt be who we are without having known each other. on this plane its noone but us. reality doesnt hit because its just a distraction and we just want to catch up.

its like a clock is ticking and were anxious. as if he too knows this is a dream, a mear astroprojection into a memory. and noone talks. we both stay silent. its almost like i cant breathe.. its almost like im drowning.

i havent spoken to brian in atleast 10 years possibly. not a single word. across the universe is a soul i once loved wholefully and now were strangers. i think a piece of me hurts still today. like a lost limb. how can i go through life and succeed at only making connections that count when my first connection is fried and dead.

how do i begin to process the things i now understand when one small piece of me is gravitating through space.

i was told not to long ago that you are infact alive. simply living- trying to stay to urself.

as this new person i am. as i am learning and growing. you were a big part of who i was- i wish u could see who ive become. my soul acknowledges your absence and i am aware of it.

i hope love and light find you on ur dark days. and that you follow that light to become whoever you are meant to be.

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crazyfangarlady · 7 years ago

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Sildy I know like little of the windy son I drew for you please ramble about him to me 💙 also how's the green bean

my boy my man my love ZACH I’m calling it right now this is going to take me the night if I don’t try to keep it short.

Imiel is doing good!! Kind of in a lore pause while he waits for his boss’s new dragon to be born. Jeez, Ono.

nOW for proper rambles under the cut~

Most of that can probably already be found in his tag on my blog, but honestly I don’t even remember what’s in there anymore or how accurate it is. Though it’s probably still mostly good, if you wanna check it out for details I might skip here~(sidenote: after checking out his tag myself I realized there are interactions with some people you do Not like in there so. While the info is good and there is no connected lore, be wary some not-nice names are included. ;v;)

I am tORN though because there’s this huge shift between how he’s been for most of the time I had him and his current state due to Recent Lore Happenings. So whiCH ZACH DO I TALK ABOUT?? …the answer is probably to start from the beginning. More rambles for your soul. This will be too long and I am slightly sorry

Zach’s a wind mage, and part of my pirate crew, as the helmsdragon - basically, he makes the ship fly, up to creating artificial winds when needed to steer it where they want to go. That’s basically all he does- he doesn’t even take part in any of the the fighting or plundering (when the rest of the crew’s busy doing That, he’s still flying the airship). Our man doesn’t much like fighting, you see.

…which might sound weird coming from a pirate, but he’s not always been one. It’s quite a recent thing, even. He was born to a family of very rich merchants from the Cloudsong, and lived most of his life basically free from trouble. Good living environment, a family that loved him more than anything - he has a twin sister, named Adara, and they grew up real close. Best sibs.

The only thing that sets him apart from the rest of his fam is his proficiency at magic. And the man is crazy good at it. It’s innate. Heck, he could make things around him and himself as well fly before he even knew how to walk or how to speak. He was quite a handful as a child. Thankfully he was well-behaved.His parents tried to hire confirmed mages to teach him to make the best out of his powers, but it???? didn’t yield anything. Mostly because he didn’t understand the methods they wanted him to apply, and also because he didn’t want to try much… So he just kept on going with whatever he could do on his own, and not much understanding why or how it worked. Why would he?? It felt more natural to him than so many other things that were already effortless.

(People who know his powers like to joke that to be this talented, he must be the windsinger’s own son. But they’re not that far from the truth… His sister was an only egg, and a fragile one- the others had been created lifeless. Their parents prayed to the Windsinger that she’d live, and Winddad heard them. He also heard how sad they were that their other eggs did not live, and so he was like. “Yknow what, I’m gonna do y’all a favor”, and while strengthening Adara’s own egg, created a perfect copy of it from his own magic, out of which Zach would be born.)(An identical copy of his sister, created from pure magic, by his god’s own hands. Come on, he’s made of the stuff, of course it’d flow naturally to him.)

ANYWAY. Sadly, good times have an end, he has to end up on that pirate ship somehow.

See, his family’s business was well-established, making lot of money and all. But some people didn’t like that, or certain new decisions they’d made. And one rousing scandal and some carefully planted ‘evidence’ later, their name was that of traitors, and the heads of the family, imprisoned. So our man Zach, who’d been enjoying life half doing his own thing, half helping out with said business, found himself homeless, money-less, and with everyone he used to know turning his back on him, either believing the lies or not wanting to associate with him to save face.

I think he left the Cloudsong for a little while, maybe went to his sister’s… But eventually he came back, because it was all that he knew. Maybe to see if things had changed? He’s a stubborn one. Well, they had not, and he ended up finishing his day in some random tavern in the not-so-well-frequented area. By which I mean, most of the patrons being outlaws of some sort. The only place where people would serve him anymore without at least a handful of people giving him weird looks.

That’s where he happened upon my pirate crew, and most specifically its captain, Eydis. They’d met once before, but in very different circumstances (still good though). But all that Eyds remembered basically boiled down to “this guy is a good mage, and I need a new one of those, hEY GUY OVER THERE WANNA WORK FOR ME?”

(She’s not very subtle)

(And he was kind of in a reckless mood so he was like “A friendly face? Sign me up”)(…he just did not remember that she was a pirate. Only that he didn’t associate any negative things with her, and in that moment, that was all he needed.)(...he still has trouble explaining his reasoning from back then now. If someone asks him, he say he just followed his instinct- maybe it was a little push of fate? But hey, things turned out for the better!)

So he became a member of my pirate crew. Befriended most everyone quite easily, tbh, he’s a very sympathetic guy, and a very valuable asset to the crew too. Things went so well he ended up falling in love with Eydis, they even had some kids... At some point down the line my man Cenric comes back to the crew too, falls hard for Zach, who also loves him quite a lot, and Eydis is like “if you don’t both confess I will personally make this happen” and now they’re dating too. Its generally just Chill for a good, long time period. Happiness up on a (pirate) airship.

THEN Carver, his son, happens to die. That’s hard blow #1. He kind of bottles it up, because he’s not good at dealing with things and if he just stays positive he can do as if nothing happened, right? right??TheN, within only a few months, some heck happens over with his other two children. That’s hard blow #2. This one is a little harder to shake off. On top of Carver’s death, the emotional toll becomes kind of heavy. He’s having a bit of trouble right now tbh, not to mention that Eyds is not doing her best either- and with their captain in a bad spot, the entire crew can feel it. That’s two of their most energetic people down. The mood is just Not That Great..

AND THEN more stuff happens but this is hella long so imma cut it there bc it is Not Official Yet (and once it is it’ll probs come out in a pseudo-update that’s just Bad Writing: Discord Update Edition bc i Cannot Hecking Write)

BUT!!!!! Some Bulletpoint Zach Facts for you still, in no particular order:

When I say he was born an identical copy of his sister aside from the magic powers, I mean it. He’s a trans man~

He “befriended” a Crowned Roc once. Which is to say, it tolerates him. He gets to ried on its back sometimes. By sitting on it and keeping himself stable with magic.

Said Roc is the one he got almost all his Windbound feathers from. Blessed them himself. In my lore, they are good luck charms and magic catalysts popular among wind flight mages

I’d talk about his approach to magic more but I found some posts instead

The jade jewelry he wears means a lot to him, and he gifted some to both his SOs, so have some very short things I wrote about those bc im a sappy shit

He almost never sleeps full nights, instead taking several short naps throughout the day. It takes a little while for other people to get used to it.

He’s, as of now, probably the most powerful dragon of my lair. And he doesn’t even realize it. This man is all potential... but almost only that.

He loves his family so much it is literally The Most Important thing to him ever. Family goes before anything else

His hair looks so ridiculously good all the time, he takes good care of it. He enjoys doing other people’s hair, too

He can’t fight to save his life

He’s almost killed a man once, though. Without even lifting a finger. I’ll need to tell that story someday. It was terrifying.

I’m cutting his hair off in future lore. It will be missed.

I love him so much but don’t do enough with him and also it’s sUPER LATE so I might stop here?

Oh wait look its theme songs time

That’s all I think?

If you have any more questions feel free to ask

Thank you so much for reading QvQ ♥

#cityofinoue #Sildy answers #c: zachariah #THIS GOT SO LONG THERES LIKE 1.5K WORDS THERE AT LEAST #im so sorry but also not really #WELL #THERE YOU GO

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pixiejaehyun · 8 years ago

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My Best Friend

Hello this is my first ever smut I really hope y’all enjoy this. I’m new to this so feedback would be really nice. WARNING: SMUT AHEAD!!!!!!

Today was your big day. You were an official adult.You woke up to the ring of your doorbell.

“The big one eight!” your friend Wendy stated and she leaned in for a hug and welcomed herself in.She held balloons and a small container that held a cupcake inside it.

“Thanks Wendy” you smiled at her pulling away from the hug

“Any plans for a party tonight?” she asked enthusiastically

“You know how much i hate parties Wendy, remember what happened last year?”

She stood there thinking about it for a second.

“Oh yeah” she cringed

On the day of your seventeenth birthday your best friends, Jaehyun and Wendy decided to throw a birthday party for you since your parents were going to be gone for the weekend.The party was a total disaster things got out of hand really quick and the house was a total mess by the time the party was over.Luckily you had Jae and Wendy to help you clean but you had literally spent your entire birthday babysitting a bunch of drunk teenagers which sucked.

“yeah” you sighed “plus im not really a party person you should know that by now”

“I forget how much you hate drinking and loud music” she rolled her eyes “there really isn't anyone like you y/n” she smiled. “anyways just came by to give you your hug and drop of your goodies now i’m off to Doyoung’s house.Sorry I can’t spend your special day with you’’ she sighed

“It’s okay Wendy, I know you can’t change the time of your flight, but i hope you have fun with Doyoung” you smiled brightly.Wendy was off to Mexico with Doyoung and his parents for a family trip.You felt quite jealous of her since she got to spend an amazing week with her boyfriends family along with her own.

You opened the door to let Wendy out and saw a black SUV pull up.

“here comes Jae”Wendy stated

He parked the car in front of your house and quickly got out.

“Y/N!”he ran toward you practically screaming and ready for a hug. He squeezed you so tight that you swore you were about to die.

“THAT’S ENOUGH JAE YOU’RE GOING TO KILL HER!”Wendy yelled punching his arm.

He quickly let go and smiled brightly.”sorry!” he exclaimed.

“okay bye guys sorry I can’t stay to celebrate with you” Wendy said as she waved goodbye and got into her car to head over to Doyoung’s.

You sighed and waved back.

“bye Wendy have fun with Doyoung,but not too much fun”Jaehyun laughed waving goodbye to Wendy.

You were sad that Wendy wasn't going to be there to celebrate your birthday like she was every year since you turned four.It had always been Jae,Wendy and you.You were the three best friends,they were all you needed.But ever since high school started you felt like you guys were growing apart.

It all started freshmen year when you developed a crush on the new boy Doyoung. Unfortunately for you Wendy had also set her eyes on him. You never told her about it since she had been the first one to tell you she liked him. You kept your feelings to yourself. When they started dating you drifted apart from Wendy, you weren't as close as you used to be. Jaehyun began to noticed you wanted to spend less time with Wendy and one day he confronted you about it. You spent that night in your room crying in his arms and telling him about your feelings toward Doyoung. Jaehyun became your rock ever since that day, you guys got closer than ever so close that people automatically assumed you two were dating. But that was all ruined by Jaehyun’s fuckboy image. The need for Jaehyun to date a new girl each week made you sick but he was your best friend after all. The years flew by and you finally graduated from highschool you were sure that your friendship with both Wendy and Jaehyun would end since they were out experiencing love and you weren’t but your friends made sure to come over to your house the entire summer. You were happy they still wanted to be your friends even after highschool.

“We get to have a movie night and a final quote unquote party before we head off to college” Jaehyun smiled

“Yeah” you sighed “I just wished Wendy could've stayed”

Jaehyun pulled you into a hug “You should’ve told her about your feeling towards Doyoung freshman year y/n”

You pulled away from him staring at him confused “Jae”

“Yeah” he stood there staring back at you

“You do know that feelings disappeared right about sophomore year right”

“WHAT! NO! Y/N YOU NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT THIS! “He glared at you

“Really?’’ you questioned yourself “wow I was pretty sure I told you about this, anyways let’s get our movie night started dork!” you shifted your feet towards the kitchen to prepare some popcorn while Jaehyun headed towards the living room to prepare for your birthday movie night.

“Y/N what movie do you wanna start with?’’ Jaehyun yelled from the living room

“Which ever one you want Jae’’

“It’s your birthday you should pick”

“It’s my birthday and I said whichever one you want’’

“Okay whatever”

Once the popcorn was done you headed towards the living room to find the lights out with only the light from the tv to guide you to the floor where Jaehyun had already set up a fort with pillows and a bunch of blankets.

“Sweet” you smiled as Jaehyun put the movie in the dvd player.

You laid on the floor popcorn in hand and Jaehyun came to lay next to you.

“What movie did you pick?” you asked turning your head towards his direction.

“The Spectacular Now” he smiled

“Cool I’ve never watched this one”

The movie started and you and Jaehyun laid there cuddling while enjoying the movie. Cuddling wasn’t a big deal with you and Jaehyun since you two had been doing it ever since you had your first sleepover back in fifth grade when you had a nightmare and Jaehyun cuddled with you so you wouldn’t have any more nightmares that night. But the atmosphere soon changed when a sex scene came on. You started shifting in Jaehyun’s arms.

“Y/N, are you okay?” he said pausing the movie

“Yeah” you took a deep sigh

He got up looking at you concerned, you turned your body towards him so you could be face to face with him.

His concerned look soon turn into a smile “Y/N your cheeks are red” he laughed

You hit his chest playfully.

“Stop Jae, you know how uncomfortable sex scenes make me” you bit your lip and lowered your head as the words came out of your mouth.

“Y/N” Jaehyun said lifting your head to face his “Its okay we can watch something else” he smiled

In that moment you didn’t understand what came over you but you leaned in and kissed his lips. As soft as they were and as much as you enjoyed your first kiss you pulled away quickly with your eyes wide in realization of what you had just done.

“Sorry! Jae I don’t know what came over me I-“you were cut off by his lips being placed on top of yours. He slowly started to lean forward so his body could lay on top of yours. You gasped for air as he pulled away.

“Jae’’ you looked up at him with a flustered look

“I’ve always wanted to do that” he smiled placing a hand on your cheek as he leaned in for another kiss.

Jaehyun’s lips melted with your own, you had no idea what you were doing but you couldn’t bring yourself to stop. The kiss became more passionate as he managed to slip his tongue inside of your mouth. You smiled and cupped his face as you pulled away from the kiss. You stared at him admiring his beauty for a moment until you came to a conclusion.

“Jae’’ you spoke softly

“Yeah” he whispered back a loving look in his eyes.

You took a deep breath and let the words slip right out of your mouth

“I- I want you to be my first” you said shyly and looked away

He pulled his body back away from yours in shock of the words that had just come out of your mouth.

“Y/N are- are you sure like- Y/N is this really what you want” he asked flustered and concerned

“Yes Jae, I’m positive” your eyes coming back to meet his

His body once again fell on top of your and he reconnected your lips. His hand started moving up the side of your thigh. You closed your eyes and felt butterflies in your stomach starting to form and he started peppering kisses from your lips down to your neck. Your body started to tense up as his hand made his way up towards your skirt. He slip a hand in your soft underwear, you gripped onto his shirt and your eyes quickly grew shut as he slid a finger through your folds. He continued to pepper kisses all over your face. Your breathing got heavier as you felt his finger moving inside of you.

“I have to stretch you out first so it can be more comfortable for you okay babe” he said as he kissed your cheek

Nodding your head was all you managed to do as you felt both pleasure as pain from his finger. You moaned as he inserted a second finger. He slowly stated removing your skirt with his free hand as his fingers continued to pump in and out slowly as his mouth moved to you neck. He sits up and pulls his hand from you. He kisses you as you whimper.

He sits up and hooks his fingers around your panties, pulling them down your legs.

“Take it off” he stated looking at my shirt. You comply and begin to remove the piece of clothing off your body along with your bra. He stands up briefly to remove every article of clothing he has on except his boxers. He hovers over you and brings his lips toward yours.

Your chest is heaving and your breathing is staggered.

“Are you-“He begins.

“Yes Jae, make me yours” you cut him off and looked up at him with a loving look.

He gets up and picks up his jeans from the floor, he pulls out a small packet from his back pocket and makes his way towards me. He stops infront of you and you admire his bare chest. He slowly starts to slide out of his boxers, once they’re fully off he brings the shiny packets to his mouth and tears it open he slides the condom onto his length.

The anticipation of what is coming next fills you up with anxiety, time seems to slow down as he makes his way back towards you. He shifts his body on top of you and uses his knee to part your legs. You feel his fingers rub against you once again.

“You’re wet so this is gonna make it easier and little bit more comfortable for you” he inhales

His lips meet yours once again and he kisses you slowly, his tongue teasing yours. He pulls away and begins to kiss the corners of your mouth, followed by the tip of your nose then back to your lips. You feel the sliky condom brush against you and you shudder.

“It’s gonna hurt, tell me to stop if you’re uncomfortable okay” he says with a gentle voice

“Okay” I gulp

He presses into you and you screw your eyes shut and gasp at the foreign feeling.

“Are you okay” he whispered as he kisses your lips. You nod and he pushes himself further into you wincing at the pain.

“Fuck” Jaehyun groans, his body still and uncomfortable “Can I move?” his voice raspy

“Yeah” I managed to say as tears form at the corner of my eyes and squeeze Jaehyun’s arms. He places kisses all over from my lips to my neck.

“Fuck” he begins and he starts moving slowly “I love you y/n….I love you so much”

Unable to process his words you stay quiet afraid that if you even open your mouth you’ll start crying.

“Do….do you want me to stop.” He stutters concerned by your silence.

I shake my head as I stare at him admiring his state. His eyes are close shut and his jaw is clenched in concentration .The pain is almost completely gone as he begins to quicken his pace. A knot begins to form in my stomach “Jae” I softly moan

“I’m almost there baby just a little bit more”

The knot in my stomach soon burst and I come undone. “Fuck” Jaehyun groans as he approaches his climax soon after mine. He slowly pulls out and get up to dispose of the used condom. He makes his way back to you and uses his shirt to clean you up. He pulls one of the blankets that was off to the side to cover both of you up.

“Does it hurt?” he asks as he kisses your forehead

“A little bit” you respond your breathing still unstable

“I’m tired” you tell him. He pulls you closer to him so you’re cuddling again.

“Go to sleep” he tells you

Your eyes slowly start shutting but you’re still awake.

“Jae” you whisper

“Yeah” he speaks softly

“Why did you say you love me?’’

He stay quiet for a moment hesitating on whether he should tell you or not but he decides to tell you.

“Because I do y/n. Ever since the day I met you I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you”

You giggle and his response “Jae you were five when we met”

“Yeah but even when I was five and you were four I still knew I wantd to marry you when I grew up” he chuckled

You opened your eyes and met his gaze. “Why didn’t you ever tell me” you questioned

“Because when I was about to confess to you, you told me about your feelings towards Doyoung” he looked down as the last few words slipped out of his mouth.

You felt bad “sorry” you sighed

“That’s why I went around messing with bunch of girls, I wanted to get rid of my feelings because I felt like you were never going to respond to my feelings’’ his head was still down as he said this

You cupped his face with your hands and kissed his lips softly “I love you Jae”

You pulled you in closer and you fell asleep in his arms.

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Okay I hope you enjoyed this long ass scenario pls send feedback lol

sincerley Alex

#nct #nct 127 #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun smut #jaehyun #doyoung #doyoung scenarios

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gxtsmxt-blog · 8 years ago

Note

Hello 😊 Do you happen to do BTS fluff scenarios? If you do (if not then feel free to change it to smut or anything I'm just a fanfic hoe lmao) could you please do a Namjoon scenario where you're dating and he doesn't realise you're stressed because he's away so often and you come home really drunk one night after an awful day and he tries to take care of you? School is super stressing me out right now and I'm currently living for Namjoon fluff but it's so hard to find with most being smut aha💜

i love you, baby

❛❛Something can be beautiful because there is something horrible. If you can accept that those hard times are part of beautiful moments in life, I think you can truly understand our HYYH.❜❜ - Kim Namjoon

COUNT → 1.360

GENRE → angst | fluff

PAIRING → namjoon | reader

WARNINGS → alcoholism

→ thanks so much for requesting this!!!!!! u literally just sent me this today but i actually was really excited that u asked for namjoon and im on spring break with nothing to do LMAO!!!!!!!! this felt more like a drabble but i hope this is what you wanted. n i hope you feel less stressed soon anon :-)))

You laid your headagainst the cool surface of the dining room table, your phone held in your facewith one of your hands as you scrolled through pictures of your handsome boyfriend,Kim Namjoon. He was the leader of a popular boy group, BTS, and ever since theydebuted, hadn’t been able to come home as often as he had in the past. Becauseof that, he hadn’t noticed how stressed you’d felt lately because of school andyour part-time job. But you had done a good job hiding it from him, too.

At first, you werehappy for him. You wouldn’t be a good girlfriend if you were unhappy about hissuccess in the first place. You were happyfor him, but with him being on tours and on variety shows more and more eachpassing day and not coming home as often, you felt lonely and depressed. He wasso kind and gentle, both as a boyfriend and as your best friend, and you triedyour hardest to hide how you were feeling. It didn’t help that school was starting to stress you out as the time approached for midterms. Closing out of your photo app, youscrolled through your texts with him, the corners of your lips tilting up atthe most recent one.

NAMJOON [12:07:32]: i miss you baby but im coming hometmrw

You had textedback how much you missed him, too, and sent him a dozen heart emojis. He’d sentthat yesterday an hour after you went to bed, but it was a nice text to wake upto. You were determined to keep hiding your stress from him as you sat up andpoured yourself a bowl of cereal.

Unlocking yourapartment door, fumbling a few times from how badly your hand was shaking, youmanaged to finally make your way inside, slamming the door shut. Tears brimmedin your eyes as you thought back to how your boss had yelled at you for messingup another customer’s order. Your head hadn’t been in a good place lately, butno one seemed to cut you any slack or even notice. Not only that, but you got oneof your midterm exams back as well and didn’t even get a high fail; you got thelowest grade in the class. Then, your teacher asked you to stay behind and yelledat you because of it, clearly disappointed in you and your lack of effort. But youhad spent hours studying for thattest.

But you failedanyway.

It seemed nothingyou did anymore ever was good enough for anybody. And to top it all off,Namjoon never came home when he told you he would. Of course, he texted youthat he had to work for a few more days and then he would be coming home, soyou figured you would spend tonight drinking.

Dropping your bagonto the coffee table in the living room, you stormed into your bedroom,looking at yourself in the mirror for a fleeting moment before you marched backout the door.

You had felt toomuch lately but now all you wanted to feel was nothing.

You came back afew hours later after the sun began to set. You left your car parked in thestreet outside of the bar because although you could usually handle yourliquor, the alcohol in your system was too much for you to even focus on peoplestanding directly in front of you. After you hailed a cab, you stumbled throughyour door, leaning against it as it closed. However, you weren’t alone.

Namjoon was home.

“Baby!”he called, clearly happy to see you, but then stopped when he noticed somethingwas off. He stood from the couch and quietly walked over to you, placing hishands on your shoulders. “What’s wrong?” You tried to open your mouthbut he could immediately smell the alcohol. “Are you drunk?”

You waved him off,dropping off your purse on the dining room table, and then stumbling towards yourshared bedroom. The sound of his footsteps following you echoed throughout thehallway, and he closed the door to your bedroom as you sat down with a huff onyour bed. Your face fell into your hands as you tried to hold back the onslaughtof tears. Namjoon sat beside you on the bed, rubbing your back soothingly. Hishand stopped after a moment to glide up your back and grab onto your shoulder,pulling you into his chest, and rested his chin on top of your head.

“It’s okay,baby,” he whispered in that deep voice of his. “I’m here. You’reokay.”

Your handsautomatically wrapped around his chest, as natural to you as drinking waterwhen you’re thirsty. Sobs fell from your lips and you dampened his shirt. Hekissed your forehead, waiting for you to cry until you had no tears left. As herocked the two of you back and forth, you pulled away.

“I’ms-sorry,” you blubbered, eyes irritated from crying. “I know you— Iknow you were expecting something else, not your girlfriend drunk off her assand crying like a baby.”

“Don’t saythat,” he said as he kissed your temple. “Did you have a bad day?Tell me what happened.”

You hesitated fora moment. “It’s j-just school, and work. I failed my midterm and myteacher chewed me out. I kept messing up people’s orders today at the cafe,too. I can’t do any-t-thing r-right.”

Namjoon thoughtabout asking you why you hadn’t told him about it sooner, feeling that this hadbeen building up for a long time without him even noticing, but you didn’t needthat right now.

“That’s nottrue,” he whispered into your ear and you fisted his shirt at that.“You do so many things right. Remember when you tried to teach me how tocook?” You pulled your head back to look at him, sniffling as you laughedsoftly at the memory. “I can’t even cut an onion properly but you were sopatient with me. You’re always so patient with me—me and everyone else in yourlife. No matter what anyone says to you, you never say anything bad back. Youdon’t have a bad bone in your body. You’re so patient and kind—and that’s why Ilove you so much. That and how beautiful you are. Do you know how beautiful you are? I still don’t know why you agreed to go out with me. But you know that, right? How much I love you? I love you somuch.”

“Namjoon…”you managed to say through teary eyes.

“This willpass.” He hugged you to his chest, running his hands through your hairlike he knew you liked so much. “If things are bad, they can only getbetter, right? And if they don’t, I’ll be here waiting for you to make itbetter with a kiss.” To emphasize his point, he pressed a chaste kiss toyour lips. You reached for him but he was already pulling away. “I’m notgoing anywhere, baby.”

“B-But whatabout BTS? Don’t you have to go back soon?”

“We’re all onbreak right now after the comeback, so I’ll be here as long as you want me tobe.”

You smiled softly downat your lap and watched as you played with your fingers. “Forever.”Wiping the moisture from around your eyes, you gave him a hug. “I want youto be here with me forever.”

“I was hopingyou would say that,” he said with a laugh, kissing you on the lips again.

You pulled backafter a moment, something occurring to you. “I thought you said youweren’t going to be back home for another few days? Did something happen?”

His cheeks heatedat that. “The guys knew that I wanted to see you, so they talked to Bang PD-nimand he agreed to let me take the first flight home. Being the leader has itsprivileges.”

You laughed, andit felt like the first genuine laugh you let out in a long time.

“I love you,Namjoon.”

“I love you,too, baby.”

#namjoon fluff #namjoon angst #namjoon scenario #bts scenario #bts fluff #bts angst #bts imagine #namjoon imagine #there really isnt enough namjoon fluff out there :-(#if i ever write a smut for him #i definitely will be staying fAR AWAY from a daddy kink #i dont CARE what anyone else tells me!!!!!!#he is a soft man!!!!!!!!!!

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emilsplanet · 7 years ago

Photo

So, here’s a picture of a suspended stone. It hangs on a three inch hawser I dug out of a dumpster. The rope was retired in the traditional fashion, without ceremony. In its working life it served as a dockline for a 100 foot wooden fishing boat called sunrise. When I went to thread the thing through the three inch hole in the stone I found it too snug, and had to parse out & hack off a strand. It took longer than I’d expected to cut, even with a sharp knife. Strong rope. The stone I’m not 100 percent on where I got it. Certainly I may have dragged it off a beach. I think that’s the most likely. I think I remember it being a bit softened from weather. Likely it came from rip rap downtown. A few years ago I walked all the rocks & pulled the ones I could do with anything less than a machine. This one is likely from that time. I have a long running and extensive collection of rocks with natural holes in them, not sure if I’ve discussed that here... but it’s- other than being a rock based obsession- unrelated to this blog. When I was working with Aragorn going to the quarry & picking rock for rock walls he found a drilled one in the man rock pile. I’m pretty sure he sold it as part of a landscape, but it got me on thinking about basalt & the way it crystallizes and can make such good crystals that they can withstand an internal blast in a drilled hole... as I said- I went and found all the local ones. So- I met this girl who has a little dinghy. Same as the ones I’ve had, hers is a little el toro painted starburst colors, and I used my interest in her boat as an excuse to get her number. Anyway, I asked her if she’d be into loading my rock in there & hanging it from the old ferry dock (as pictured). We’ve been spending a lot of time together. She helped me pick up the rock from where I’ve stored it at my uncles property, and round up the hawser & handy billy. The rock is not too heavy for me to lift, it is way too heavy for me to lift. She’s a small girl, and together we can barely manage to move it by tying the thing to the middle of a stick and doing the hunters bringing home the kill carry. To put it in the boat I had to put one end of the stick on a boulder & sweat the other end while she ice cream scooped the thing with her boat. It was a scene. Loading that thing in took quite a while with me barely able to support it with the stick, losing my strength, try again. And Taylor in the water maxing out her strength too, trying to control a heavy boat & scoop the rock just right... We put our wallets & phones in the truck, pretty sure we’d be going for a swim & probably sink the boat too. When I jumped into the boat with the rock & Taylor water gushed up through the centerboard trunk until we got balanced... We rowed out carefully, extra lines ready. Barefoot & armed with knives & beer. Totally unsure if we’d be able to get the thing out of the boat. But it worked. We did it. (Post removal) I have to do these things. It may start with an idea of the meaning, or just the flavor of the idea or the image with just the hint of the meaning. I guess this is my space to talk about meaning. That thing people say they’re finding in their lives. That thing people ask you what your tattoo signifies. Its not a thing that i talk about in my daily life. People who use the word daily are insufferable... needing more meaning than there is. Unable or unwilling to create their own, find it. Obsessed, dogged by it. Unsure why their attempts aren’t bringing them an authentic sense of meaning. In its elusiveness it galvanizes them & they become desperate. Trying to find meaning in the control of meaning, or force its creation. The flaneur seeking conversations The born again yoga woman The fake indian. Anyway- im pissed off. What i really wanted to talk about was what the rock came to mean to me. If you know me you might know that ive been doing this. And i have to tell you- i had some reservations about using a rock that had been drilled. Awhile ago when i was working for a landscaper i learned a bit about these rocks. Of course ive been collecting the natural versions forever, drilled quarry rock has some of the same characteristics that attract me to their natural cousins- with an added pop. These basalt quarry rock have not only been drilled but also blasted. Although im not completely familiar with the blasting program, i gather that those surviving with thier bore holes intact must represent areas of relative good crystallization (although i have broken one...) So, i just decided that a find is a find, wether it was the earth that left the spaces or people that did, its still a rock thats survived with a hole in it. Now, what does that mean. In one sense, its sexual. Its a womb. A protected space that functions as a gateway to and from security, or at least the security of someone potentially giving a damn about you. A rock with a hole in it symbolizes fertility as much as it does strength or permanence. Its a portal, a process, a chrysalis. The idea being that its a safe space to change & grow. Also like a womb, its a literal point of connection, and while the stone symbolized strength & permanence, the womb symbolism speaks to the transitory nature of connection. A perfect symbol, in a tidy package. I heard an artist friend say that any object in art that is taller than it is wide represents a phallus. I just heard this... not sure if im on board there... Counterpoint from douchebag culture: a hole is a hole is a hole. I guess you call that a supporting statement. So then, when you bring attachment into the mix by literally suspending the stone, now youre talking about the relationship between attachment & support. (And, dare i admit: dependance) However, in the case of stone that is pennant, you’re also talking about independance. Suspension, like flight, bends our bond to the surface and gives a freedom that is an essential tonic against, well, the drudgery of the mortal coil, i guess. In the stone pictured above, all of these topics are discussed. Add on the high weight & difficulty of installation, and remember the method of installation... Emils planet. I want to talk about alternatives to this life on this planet. I want to show you that although I’ve not chosen to pursue literal space colonization, I’m thinking on that scale, but internally. We can fly all our problems to a new planet and set up a real scene, right? plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose I want a real change. I want to understand gravity, i want to make rocks fly. I want to pick that ancient lock that holds us down. I want to find the hole in myself that i can be attached by, i want that for all of us. I want a planet where flying rocks do not mean bombs are blowing up. Or oppressed people are fighting back with the only weapons they have. So, is it about sex & violence? Yes. Is it about the fleeting way we get to even discuss these issues? Absolutely. It has all the meaning you can put into it. Its like a mirror in that it can be as beautiful as you can. Its specifically about other things too, this in particular. Those meanings above are things i brought with me. There are others too. Its a statement about our (as people) ownership of our spaces. It hanging from a ferry terminal. Ferries like bridges are about connection and communication, and the rock hangs in abandoned dockage, do the math. (It represents a rebirth of communication on a human scale, so now were talking about the failure of social media) Ownership of ones space in this sense does not mean control, rather, responsibility to. It marks the progression of our growing infrastructure, while simultaneously defying the rising waters to lick it. It also blocks traffic, or forces you to witness its silent protest And while it screams out this defiant feminity, its also yanging hard with its immensity & boldness. Its clearly human yet godlike assertion of its (searching for the right word) yeah. Presence? Creative... prescence? No doubt. Hard yang Hard enough for all that yin. But apparent it was too yin to be tolerated by the fucking boy scouts troupe leader. In classic modern repression of anything powerfully female, a small army of little boys saw to its removal from the shrine. I know ive left stuff out of this :/

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the-entire-population-of-earth · 5 years ago

Text

Amran's NS journey

Basic Military Training (BMT)

Bmt was fucking rushed. Everyone does not know what activities there are gonna be for each day up until the last minute due to the higher upper's uncertainty. But hey at least me and my bunkmates were the most bonded as fuck than the rest due to us always making fun of the commanders and other bunkmates. I was in a leadership batch but one way or another i didnt get to be a commander. Too bad we all split up from each other.

Unit life

1st Battalion Guards

I was posted to 1st battalion singapore guards as a storeman for hq company. I was helping with signal sets. Before guardsman troopers came in, it was a breeze. It was just doing our own branch work and report to the different timings and duties and its all good life. Not as good life though as there is this one specific person who is so fucked up due to his laziness. As a storeman, it was damn easy as it was just using a little labor and then the job is done. Everything was quite certain and routined until the troopers came.

Troopers

When the troopers came, i was involved in a major event. I didn't know how chaotic was the first day but when the days passed, it was chaotic as fuck. They were fucking jealous as hq company had a lot of welfare and the troopers would pinpoint little things such as hq not marching and having more time for ourselves. In my opinion, most of the hq personnels are not combatants so whats the point of us doing what they are doing. But then things settled down as the higher uppers try to ease the tension and shit.

Guards vocation training (GVT)

Gvt was the most fun i had in my ns life. I literally enjoyed every part of it even tho i only participated in the high keys. The high keys were only 10km fast march, 2km swimming and heli rappelling. Fast marches were my toughest one because i cant run for shit. Then came the incident but nevertheless i finished all of it in time for the final fieldcamp and right of passage (ROP). Then came the parade which was satisfying as fuck.

Laundry ic

Since the previous laundry ic had ORD, i had to step up to be the laundry ic. Being the battalion laundry ic made me realise how bad the troopers are being treated and how i was introduced to people that were out of course from being a trooper. By this time, i was considered "lao jiao", old caged bird, who knows the system well and we all knew that the company sergeant major (CSM) cannot fix the duty roster and will always tell us that we last minute have to do duties. Since i am just a storeman, and i don't receive combat pay, why should i have a need to do guard duty whereas there were like around 400+ troopers to do it. It was not as if they have other duties. But as a storeman in hq company, we have like 3 different types of duties; duty clerk, duty storeman and guard duty. Duty clerk is just manning the phone to which we must answer to cater to the caller's needs. Duty storeman is just to open up and close the branch at timings and also make sure all the store keys are accounted for. Guard duty involves to either prowl around the camp or to station at the gate to ensure security for the camp. In my opinion, guard duty isnt needed for a storeman because most of the time we dont handle weapon and we already have 2 other duties. On top of that, as storeman is a combat support service (CSS), we have other responsibilities from handling our stores to issuing items thus the need for guard duty is pointless as it really can clash with our other responsibilities. In my case, it did clash a lot of time due to poor planning for duties from CSM.

Ex lancer (Brunei)

Brunei was chill as fuck, being a laundry ic for just hq company because they have their own laundry department there. As there was not a lot of hq personnel that went outfield, i didn't do much. Out of the 2 weeks there, i only did around less than 10 hours worth of work and then spent the rest of the time catching up on my shows. But the food there was the start of my weight gain because it was really good.

Post brunei

Post brunei was the worst and hectic month because there was audit and then a month after that would be exercise wallaby. Higher uppers hold our bookout times till late afternoon and tasked with bullshit last minute works which they could have done in the time we were in brunei. Then a fucked up person came back and corrupted one specific race of hq. Before Australia, i had only 2 days to pack and attend to my personal commitments with my family and friends.

Ex wallaby ( Australia)

During the flight to Australia, i was in full denial as i didnt have enough time to fulfill my commitments. Australia was fucked up from the day after we landed. There were non stop taskings after taskings due to there were no resources/stores on Australia. We had to unpack and issue out the items while the troopers spent their time resting due to the recent death which lead to safety timeout. We had to load up a lot of the stores to the forklift and then go to the places that are around 1km from each other just because the containers for the stores are far from the issuing point. All of my time was in full denial and might have dragged my branch down but i tried my hard not to. On top of issuing stores and settling accomodations, we also had to take part in operations. The battalion expects us to do all this even though we don't receive enough pay to do all this. There were no such thing as weekend and logistics need to be settled. We actually did overtimed more than usual.

But rest and relax there was good enough for 2 days and 1 night. The motel was ok as i shared with my branch mate and one random guy. I went to a bar for the first time in my life to meet up with my superiors. We talk cocked and did stupid shits to unwind ourselves from the fucking busy exercise.

Post Australia

I was so lazy by that time that i dont even care about shit that i used to care. I even envy all of my friends who are not from the army and are able to see their family by the end of the day everyday. This unit had already thin out all my patience. Other than my opinion, the taskings that im doing are easy and can be done and also our CSM fucked up duties again with fucking last minute duties.

Pre pre ORD

Pre pre ord was the most toxic time as the schedules planned are all so rushed and the CO doesnt even trust the troopers to do a good job hence "more training". With more training comes more store items being issued out, meaning i have to carefully issue the different items. I have changed my jobscope from a laundry IC to a comms store assistant. Its an easy job but everyday they keep asking and exchanging items will make our side of the system to not tally up as i lost track of what is being issued/serviced. Whats more worse is that my QM started playing with off privileges just so we could settle the system. On top of that, the servicing uncles also scolded due to "our poor" paperwork. Honestly at this point in time i wish i wasnt so hardworking so that i set their expectations of me so low. All of these problems arose due to our lack of a regular IC or a regular sergeant. Since we took our past IC for granted, meaning we would always ask him what things there are going to be, like a man behaviour than a commander, we had a lot of things we needed to figure out such as paperworks and who have the rights to the system and who is in charge of us and shit. There was a period of time we dont even know what jobs there are until the last minute we had to do a lot. This uncertainty period really fucked me up because my RQ would always scold me. That's not an issue however but one day I might blow up due to a lot of pressure and thaty really takes a lot of my patience. It was these period that the contractor really blacklisted my unit for poor paperwork but all i can think of is that i most probably wont be working with them in the future Luckily everything finished around later May and then it was a long 1 week break for Hari Raya.

Pre ORD

After hari raya, i had a little shock cause it was a bit of a cooldown period as i was going to almost ord in about less than 2 months. The 2nd month was quite a chill period as i already have 2 understudies with me and rq already told me to slowly hand over to them. But boy, i had the shock of my life during the last month as my QM started saying shit like i never handed over properly to them as they still had a lot of errors. I am here trying my best to teach them but they had a fucking high expectations for me to make sure they will be like me. Thus i tried to ask for offs here and they to "let me go" and they said no. All my other colleagues who were gonna ord near me had already left and im here still stuck. And on top of that literally 2 weeks before ORD, QM gave me 3 extra duties just because of a minor mistake. What a nice way to squeeze out a person. The extra came and it fell on my birthday which makes being 23 damn depressing.

Ord

To be honest, my life in the army was just not fair and fucking unreasonable due to the superior's lack of brains. They think they are doing the right thing and will just shrug off our opinions and commitments. The way they treat people like me is as if they are the only ones that matter. Even though we did try to raise the different problems we faced, they just say something around the lines of standardisation or "suck thumb". And not just that, even if we are given the things we wanted, there are sure people to take advantage of it but all of us must suffer together even though we are not with them. To be honest, collective punishment isn't the way to go in hq because there is a lot of factors needed to be considered. I am just so glad that i got out of the toxicity and continue on to my civilian life. Again.

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cyberdelusionphilosopher-blog · 6 years ago

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How much is car insurance for a 16 year old girl ?

"How much is car insurance for a 16 year old girl ?

Im about to get my license and i was wondering how much insurance would be. For a 16 year old girl 2011 camry or corolla. Anyone wanna guesstimate ?

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://salecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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Car insurance for a school permit? my question involves teen drivers and insurance i am a 15 year old in iowa, i would like to get a school permit (in iowa, this allows me to drive to and from school over the most direct route without an adult in the vehicle)because of the many extracurriculars I'm involved with. my dad was wondering though if it would be very expensive to get me on the insurance plan. here are some factors -we are with westfield insurrance -I'm a 15 year old girl -honor student -passed drivers ed with an A -my parents work at the school, so i would catch a ride when i could with them, i would only probably use the school permit for late night or early morning practices (i mention this because i read that if a person only drives occasionally it could lower costs slightly? ) -never been in an accident or been pulled over -i wouldn't be driving a fast car, probably our van or pontiac grand am any estimates on costs? my dad said that i wouldn't be able to get on the insurance if it was 100 or more $ a year, so if you could give me some suggestions on how to lower it or any tips at all, i would really appreciate it""

How much is car insurance for a 16 year old girl ?

Im about to get my license and i was wondering how much insurance would be. For a 16 year old girl 2011 camry or corolla. Anyone wanna guesstimate ?

How much would my insurance cost . . .?

If I am 16 and driving a 2007 Scion TC that is completely paid for ?

Do I HAVE to sign up for Obamacare insurance?

My current health insurance will be up soon. I know that people apparently get fined for not having health insurance, or something of the sort. My question is, do i HAVE to get it? ...show more""

What would insurance be for me with this car?

2004 nissan sentra se-r, silver, 4 door, manual transmission. I'm 17 years old and would drive the car to work and school about 5 days a week. I have never gotten a ticket or been in an accident.""

Can I own my car and insure it on my dad's insurance? Please help!!!?

My dad currently own my car. I'm older now, and have been borrowing his car for college and work. I am planning on switching the car into my name. He wants this also. But I believe it would be cheaper for me to stay on his insurance and pay him for my portion. I did this for the past 6 months but he still owned the car. Is this legal in California? My boyfriend does it with his mom, owns his car and goes through his mom's insurance, but my dad doesn't believe me that it's legal and fine. I need some proof to convince him that this is the best way to do it and that it's legal. Please, someone help me!!! Thanks!""

Car Insurance: Insuring myself on a car registered with someone else?

My boyfriend is planning to buy me a car under his name, he doesn't want to be insured on it as he already has his own car. We don't live together, but I am at his house almost all the time. When I get insurance, do I use his address? As this is where the car will be parked most the time and will also be where the car is registered.""

Car insurance in NJ...?

I am 19, just got license. Its still some restriction for 1 year but other than that its a regular one , I can drive by myself. What could I do to get a car under my name and not to be killed by insurance rates. Price of the car is not my primary concern and I would gladly lease one ( would have a cosigner too if necessary) since I work close enough but I am afraid that it is the most expensive option...""

Im 18 and i want to buy my mom a car but its for her can she put the insurance under her?

so i buy the car cus i have better credit than her but i cant put the insurance on me itll be too much is there a way we can make this work

Suzuki swift insurance for 17 year old? (UK)?

a 1.3 is insurance group 4 and I dont know how much that would actually cost? for a 17 year old please dont say too much or too hard to say I just need to know the range of how much it would cost to insure e.g. 3000 - 4500 Also im not 17 yet so I cant get insurance quotes. 10 points to best answer.

Teenage car insurance?

Well im 15, gonna be 16 in 2 weeks and Im about to get a car. How much will the insurance be? I live in Arizona, have straight A's and am a girl and the insurance im gonna have has benefits if you have good grades and its cheaper if you're a girl too. So I would like an idea of how much it would cost monthly? The car would be a 1990 toyota camry 4-cylinder""

Retroactive auto insurance premium?

I obtained an auto insurance policy in August 2007. In January 2008 (five months after the policy was purchased) I received my policy renewal. The renewal price was substantially more than the initially policy cost because the insurance company had written my original policy with innacurrate information (assumptions they made that were incorrect, there was no falsification on my part). I cancelled the policy and found a new provider. The insurance company then sent me a bill retroactively charging me for the original policy with the new information and premium changes. Can they retroactively charge me for the policy that I had already paid in full based on our original agreement? Does the insurance company have any legal recourse or right to collect this money? I already filed an official complaint with the NJ Dept. of Banking and Insurance and am waiting to hear back. BTW don't need people's opinion, looking for response from someone who knows the laws in regards to this""

How will the insurances work out with 95 car accidents at one scene?

Just wonder because of news yesterday at California highway. I don't know about law in that state but what if it's like this in new york where I live. Ya know whoever fault will pay by their own insurance for repairs and injury for victims and a vehciles. Same for most state. How would 95 different insurance handle it? It might will have several lawsuits. With 95 cars, hard to say who started the accident and whatever if it's one person cause 95 altogther or all 95 is fault on it own. Some may not even have insurance. There would be 95 different drivers so it will be 95 different verison or story of what happening.""

Which cars are cheap on insurance for a 20year old new driver? And which cars dont drink petrol fast?

I am doing an intense driving course, i would like advice and which cars aint too high on insurance and also which cars dont drink petrol fast as i know some do!""

Where can i find the car insurance rates by state?

Looking to see how much car insurance rates are for different states.

Do car insurance pay for flood damage?

my daughter got caught in floods yesterday and her car is knakered do car insurance companys pay for flood damage ,when she rang them they told her it sounded mechanical but RAC said ...show more""

Cost of car insurance?

I am a 17 year old female. No crashes, good driver. I just got enough money to buy a car, and need to pay for the insurance. I Dont know how much money that would cost. I hear its diffrent everywhere, but what is the adverage for minnesota would you say? I'd appreciate it! thanks :)""

""Car insurance estimate, please help?""

i want to get my license but im not sure how much the car insurance is going to be. i live in boca raton which is in florida, im a 17 year old boy, and i have higher than a 3.0 gpa... if i were added to my parents insurance do you have any idea or estimate on how much i would be paying a month""

Is the insurance on a car cheaper if it is a kit car?

I want a flashy car but cant afford ferrari, lambo as so but i can 100% afford a kit car and they look the exact same but the only difference is the performance, i just want to know for example if i turned a toyota mr 2 into a lamborghini murcialago would it take the insurance down on the mr2 insurance, i heard it can cost up to 30% less but then i read that it can increase it by 50% i would love to read about personal experience please help??""

Maternity insurance or no insurance?

i was on my parents insurance and now they are going to medicare. so i am naturally kicked off their insurance. they keep telling me to not get insurance for maternity because it isnt worth it and we should just pay out of pocket. but what if something goes wrong and im stuck in the hospital longer than i need to be? my husband doesnt have a job and only i work but i cant get insurance through their company. we probably could save up and pay out of pocket but would using insurance be much better? i myself wont have insurance at all once they switch over to medicare so i have to find insurance for both my husband and i. plus possibly adding on maternity. so maternity insurance or no?

What would the insurance cost for a 2002 Audi TT?

Just looking for a quick estimate. I'm a 20 year old male with a moving violation that happened two years ago. It would be a California car. Probably would drive about 8,000 miles a year. Also would it matter if it was a roadster(convertible) or coupe? Thanks""

Are the advantage insurance plans better than standard medicare supplement insurance?

are advantage insurance plans cost effective over standard medicare supplements plans

Cheapest car insurance for young driver please?

I'm a 17 year old male from England and have a full uk licence i was just wondering what sort of prices other people have been getting for their insurance and which companys are the cheapest to go through any help would be appreciated. Thanks for looking at my question and answering :)

Good used sports car that won't jack up my insurance?

I am 17 and getting my license in november and I want to buy sports car (ex:mustang) that won't jack up my insurance, and won't break down all the time, my budget is about 12,000. Any recommendations?""

Does anyone in Las Vegas know where I can get Dirt cheap car insurance if so please provide a number and name.

Thanks for your help!!!

Broad estimate how much do people think motorcycle insurance would be for a 16 year old?

I live in California

Best car insurance company in Ontario for new drivers?

Hey Guys, Got my first car! YAY!!!! I was just wondering if you guys can recommend the best car insurance company and rates in Ontario for new drivers? Please let me know. Thanks.""

How much is car insurance for a 16 year old girl ?

Im about to get my license and i was wondering how much insurance would be. For a 16 year old girl 2011 camry or corolla. Anyone wanna guesstimate ?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/paton-iowa-cheap-car-insurance-quotes-zip-50217-paula-petty/"

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therealestatesparkblog · 6 years ago

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How Adopting 7 Kids at Once Led Me to Launch My Real Estate Investing Career

The truth is that I did not get involved in real estate in a meaningful way until later in my life. I have been a chiropractic physician for 29 years, but Im really an entrepreneur at heart. I have started or purchased six multi-discipline medical clinics in my career and have been involved in a number of other businesses. None, however, have matched the combination of relative safety and potential returns afforded by real estate. Still, for some reason, I could never pull the trigger and launch my real estate investing career. Unfortunately I sat on the sidelines for a number of years. I hoped to get started but never did. Like many of you, I read Robert Kiyosakis Rich Dad Poor Dadand a few other real estate books, but it wasnt enough. Looking back now, I can point to several life events that lit a fire under me and finally got me off the bench and into the game. Over the past few years, I have flipped a couple houses, owned a small apartment complex, developed a large commercial retail strip center, syndicated a 125-door multifamily townhome complex, and am just finishing the co-syndication of a large self-storage deal. I am in my 50s and wish I had started earlier. No matter your age, though, if you are procrastinating like I did, hopefully you can use one or more of the following five steps to get started. 5 Steps to Launch Your Real Estate Career1. Find your passion. Twenty years ago, my wife and I became interested in adoption. We had two biological kids at the time and wanted to adopt a third child. While working with an organization that facilitated the adoption of Eastern European orphans, we heard about a sibling group of seven Russian children that the Russian government was going to split up and send to three different countries. My wife decided she would make it her personal mission to find a family that could keep these siblings from being separated. The idea of someone taking that many kids into their home blew us away, and we made a list of all of our friends and acquaintances that we thought might be able to afford such a monumental task. The Russian government announced they would be separating the children in a few months. As the date approached with no takers in sight, we began to ask ourselves if there was any way we could adopt them ourselves. Its a very long story, but fast forward to August of 1988. We were told at the U.S. Embassy that we had completed the single largest adoption in U.S./Russian history (at a single time). It was a big culture shock to bring seven Russian speaking kids into our home for sure. But the real shock was just around the corner when the financial reality of our decision began to hit home. Nine sets of clothing, nine bikes, nine soccer teams, nine college educations, nine weddingsyou get the picture. The financial pressure began to build. I rapidly set out on a course to produce more income. I started or purchased six different medical clinics. I developed anathletic club, which eventually grew to 1,500 members. I purchased a sports performance enhancement franchise. And we even started a coffee shop/deli. Some produced more cash flow than others, but the one problem all those businesses had in common was that they took immense amounts of my personal time. I was fairly successful at creating additional income, but I was killing myself. My family life was suffering. I quickly realized working 70-80 hours a week would not work. There are few things that I am more passionate about than my family, so I threw myself into a massive search for ways to create passive income. It was this search that eventually led me to real estate. You can do the same thing. Figure out what you are passionate about. Focus on the end results. Getfired up and use that passion to fuel your real estate dreams.

Related: If I Started My Real Estate Business Again Today, THIS is What Id Change 2. Harness fear. As humans, nothing makes us react quite like fear. Fear comes in all shapes and sizes. There are literally hundreds of types of fears and phobiasfear of pain, of disease, of injury, of tight spaces, of rejection, and of failure, to name a few. People will do just about anything to avoid their fears. If they are forced to face fear, they go into fight or flight mode or they are paralyzed by fear and do nothing at all. Fortunately, a random encounter with a couple of patients changed my investing mindset forever. It was March 6, 2009, and the stock market was in the final throes of its great crash. I walked into a treatment room, and there sat a patient with tears streaming down his face. It was odd because this was a big burly guy who had just retired from a local factory and was a pretty tough character. I soon found out he was not crying because of his back or neck pain but because he had just lost almost all of his retirement savings in the stock market. Apparently, this gentleman had taken his retirement payments as a lump sum and had recently dumped it all in the market. As he sat on my exam table, he explained how in a few short days, he had lost more than 70 percent of his retirement savings, and those savings had taken him 40 years to amass! I am not usually at a loss for words, but nothing in my medical training could have prepared me for that moment. A couple of days later, I was seeing another patient. Mrs. Smith (not her real name) was a 50-something retired school teacher and seemed to be in a better mood than normal. I noticed her cheerfulness and asked her why she seemed so happy. She went on to explain how she and her husband had taken all of their retirement funds out of the stock market about a year previously and had used the funds to buy rental property. Their rentals were leased, and frankly, they were really enjoying retirement. Fortunate to have gotten out of the market when they did, this new landlord was not affected by the downturn in the markets at all. I had really never trusted the stock market. I mean, with the almost-daily headlines of one major bank after another caught cheating their clients or gaming the system somehow, this ladys message really hit home with me. Even so, I had always been too afraid of missing out on that once-in-a-lifetime Amazon or Microsoft stock pick to shift my investing away from the stock market. Right then and there, it finally hit home. When it came to real estate, I was afraid to make a mistake that would cost me money. Since I was not sure when or where to start, I just sat doing nothing for years. I had analysis paralysis, but I realized I was much more scared of ending up like my first patient, crying in a doctors office somewhere having lost the majority of my retirement. I finally made a commitment that real estate would be my investment vehicle of choice. 3. Find your motivation. A few years back, an MRI revealed I had a torn rotator cuff, torn labrum, and arthritis in my shoulder. Decades of occupational abuse and years of chasing baseball scholarships had taken their toll. My orthopedic physician announced I could either give up my chiropractic career immediately, or in about four years, I would need a shoulder replacement. Suddenly, I was heading toward for an untimely retirement. I was shocked. I had dedicated the last 29 years of my life to helping people heal. My entire identity was tied up in being a healthcare provider. At the same time, Obamacare was rapidly eroding away my practice of two-plus decades. I had no idea what I would do, but knew I needed a plan and needed one quick. After much angst and a considerable amount of prayer, I decided it was time to jump in with both feet. I still have a medical practice, but am working full-time on a plan to exit healthcare as soon as possible. Even though I didnt recognize it at the time, life circumstances helped me find my motivation. Each individual has their own unique mix of life experiences and desires that fuel their drive for success. For some, its the thought of a penniless retirement. For others, it is the commitment to never let their children grow up in poverty (like they did). Some people say that success is a lake home or traveling the world. Others have an altruistic motivation to give back to those less fortunate. There are 1,001 books on ramping up personal motivation. For me, however, it boils down to a very simple concept: Focusing on my goals 10 times more than I focus on the roadblocks. Every time I run up against what seems like an insurmountable roadblock, I pull out my list of goals and focus on what I want to accomplish. Time spent focusing on what matters most turbocharges my motivation levels. The roadblocks seem to work themselves out. Whats your motivation? Related: How to Jumpstart Your Investing Career as a Multifamily Deal Finder 4. Hire a mentor. Every athlete from t-ball to the big leagues has a coach. They need someone they can learn from who is more experienced. Someone who knows the ins and outs of the game. Its no different in real estate. If you are serious about learning the craft, you need to find someone to teach you the ropes. When I finally got serious, I hired a mentor. I knew if I spent my hard-earned money on a program, I would take it seriously. There are lots of mentors and training programs on BiggerPockets. For me, I knew the more expensive the program, the more commitment I was likely to have. I am not talking about a weekend seminar with a few handouts. I chose a company called 37th Parallel Properties. Their program is a comprehensive year-long mentorship. It includes visits to real assets across the country (much like getting an MBA in multifamily investing). Dont get me wrongnot everyone needs to pay for a mentor, but dont attempt to go it alone. Learn from someone elses mistakes. Its one of the many reasons I am such a big fan of BiggerPockets. You can learn so much just by hanging out in the community and reading the advice of experienced investors. Whether you hope to invest in single family homes, self-storage units, large multifamily communities, or mobile home parks, there is always someone with expertise willing to share.

5.Leverage the experience of others. Maybe you dont need to change careers like me. Maybe you just want to use commercial real estate to turbocharge your portfolio. Maybe you just want to be a passive investor and have very little interest in toilets, tenants, and trash. If you are an accredited or sophisticated investor, syndicated deals may be the best approach for you. Some companies offer syndicated real estate investments. They specialize in sourcing lucrative real estate assets and packaging them up for passive investors. They typically underwrite the project, perform all due diligence, line up debt, and complete the purchase. The companies then operate and oversee these assets so that their investors can realize great profits minus the headaches. Choosing a company that you feel comfortable with is the key to any syndicated investment. While it is a much quicker way to jump into the fray, be careful! Take your time and choose the specific deal and syndicator carefully. Ask lots of questions and always check references. So, what is holding you back? Whats it going to take to get you off the sidelines? Dont procrastinate like I did! Hey, if an old chiropractor can do it

What motivation led to your first investment? What did your journey there look like? Take a moment to share what it took to make your first real estate investment! https://www.biggerpockets.com/renewsblog/seven-child-adoption-launch-real-estate-career

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