#our dm also has been naming all of our sessions

[newtwhisker]

URGENT HELP NEEDED TO GET MYSELF AND MY PARTNER OUT OF OUR TOXIC HOUSEHOLDS

I only ever made a post for a fursuit that is already taken but I’m in a pretty desperate situation and I hate to be begging for help but things are getting bad.

For those who don’t know, my name is Alex, I’m a 23 year old trans and latine vet tech student. I am currently working as a receptionist at a vet hospital, but I am still studying for my technician license. I was unemployed from February to June, I was let go because my last job was so traumatizing I had to be driven to the ER due to suicidal ideation, and my manager was not cooperating with my mental health needs. Due to being unemployed for those months I basically have no funds in savings. And now, in the start of July (of course on my birthday) I had to have a $890 car repair, and then towards the end (July 27th) I had gotten into an accident that took $2,000 to repair, and I am also attending weekly physical therapy sessions to manage the pain from that accident (I also have a concussion to top that off).

In addition to this all, I am quickly losing any support I had from my family. While I am lucky enough to still be housed by my parents, they have been extremely damaging to my mental health. My therapist has told me she considers them to be emotionally abusive, as do my friends. My parents are manipulative and guilt-tripping at their best and it’s getting to the point that I no longer feel safe in my own home. Despite dealing with anxiety my whole life, I did not start to have full blown panic attacks where I could not breathe until the last 2 months, and on all occasions they have been caused by my parents. My partner is also living in a very toxic home environment, and we are both looking into getting our own apartment potentially with roommates to cut down on rent costs.

As a result I am selling two of my full partial fursuits, I have commissions open on Ko-fi, and if you do have any inquires or questions you are more than welcome to DM me. I am really trying to get out of this environment and have all my debt paid as soon as possible, so any shares are greatly appreciated.

[skeletal-butterflyy]

D&D subtext in Stranger Things

Highly, highly requested analysis (no it’s not) of some interesting things I noticed going on with D&D in stranger things. This includes my personal thoughts based on my credentials of; having watched the show more times than i can possibly count over the past 7 years and current knowledge of DnD classes, worldbuilding, monsters, character creation. I’ll have this on the pinned post on my blog and i’ll add a text break because it’s…a lot.

Misc. :

The show starts with and is based off of Dungeons and Dragons, a table top rpg that the characters like to play. In the first season we don’t get much insight into the boys characters or the game itself, it’s used as a device to further the idea that these kids are nerds, they play a nerdy game that involves fantasy and math. As the show progresses it continues to be used to push across certain ideas, like establishing each character in the party and in season three showing how the game might represent the boys as social outcasts and their childhood.

DnD, is used throughout the show but we get to see actual play of the game in season one and four. It’s also used as a way to name the monsters they face (the monsters do get the right ideas across but the game and show versions are actually quite different from each other, especially the demogorgon)

In season 4 the idea of satanism connected to DnD really interested me. Why was everyone connecting DnD to satanism? I mean we know that everyone thought that Eddie was killing all of these people but that doesn’t mean that his club had anything to do with it. The duffers interestingly incorporated the real stigma that was widely held in the 80s against the game. At the time people were going on witchunts against anything regarded as being possibly related to satan. The most interesting part about all of this though is that, Dungeons and Dragons was made by two very devout christian men, Ernest Gygax (one of the founders) was even a Jehovah’s Witness! The two being christian’s though, incorporated a lot of religious themes into the game including clerics and paladins (calm down you fiends i’ll be getting to that) who carry a lot of religious themes and monsters that may represent demons. Outsiders might have seen a game presenting such themes as a mockery of their faith or a way to promote satanism simply by having monsters.

Characters:

I want to preface this by saying the classes that I’ll be talking about aren’t actually time period accurate. The boys would have been playing D&D 1e which had the three classes of : Fighting-man, magic-user, and cleric. While the classes listed are from D&D 2e which didn’t come out until 1989. Anyways.

In season 1, in the first scenes of the show we get to see what is the middle of DnD session before it gets interrupted. We get the basic ideas of their game across, Mike acting as DM presenting the adventure he created to his players while the rest of the party waits in anticipation for what they have to fight next. We also get to see some of will’s drawings of the party and his character

Keep these pictures in mind.

In season 2 when mike and max are arguing in the gym we hear mike say, “I’m our paladin, will’s our cleric, dustin’s our bard, lucas is our ranger and el is our mage.” At first glance it seems like nothing, oh he’s just listing off the party members and their roles and how max doesn’t fit into the party. But when you look at it properly it’s so much more.

Lucas and Dustin could not be more perfect for their chosen classes. Lucas is a ranger which means the ideal stats to be highest would include dexterity, constitution, and wisdom. Dexterity refers to, in this case the hand eye coordination and general reflexes. Constitution refers to a characters stamina and toughness, and wisdom is well, wisdom. Sounds like a certain character that has quick reflexes, has a tendency to take punches pretty well, and has good problem solving skills huh? All of these apply to lucas quite well, AND his weapon of choice is a ranged weapon, the slingshot (wrist-rocket you know what I mean), it’s really quite perfect. As for Dustin, he’s said to be a bard and the highest ideal stat for that class is charisma. Dustin has been proven to be very charismatic, he gets along with people and he can very comedic. Another thing about bards is they will tend to be very eloquent, inspirational, and persuasive, it comes with the territory of having a high charisma score, and we know dustin has a way with words. Dustin’s known for being a an eloquent and persuasive character; he convinced Mike to make up with Lucas after their fight in season one, he convinced a hesitant Mr. Clarke to tell him how to make a censory deprivation tank, he convinced steve to join him in looking for dart, and convinced erica to go through the vents (sort of). So, it makes complete sense for dustin to be a bard.

Taking a look at Mike’s character, his class also makes a lot of sense. Mike plays a paladin when he’s not the DM. A paladin is a “devout warrior” they fight with a cause, to serve their patron deity. They’re often compared to knights because of their values and the armor they usually wear. A paladin is the perfect representation of mike, especially for how will described him during the painting scene, he’s a leader and will throw himself in dangerous situations for the sake of the party, like when he jumped off the cliff for dustin.

Now, remember how will’s drawings, specifically of his character? Remember how mike said that will was a cleric? Will’s character is complicated. Will’s character being a cleric doesn’t make sense but makes so much sense at the same time. His character doesn’t look like a cleric. Clerics might be spellcasters but they don’t traditionally carry a staff or wear robes like we see will’s character does. He wears wizard clothing and has wizard abilities, not to mention in the first scene we see him play DnD and attempt to cast fireball, a spell that is most commonly associated with wizards and sorcerers and he does not seem to get his magic from a deity like a cleric traditionally would. (Clerics can cast fireball but only if they are part of the light domain) So, his character seems to be more of a wizard than a cleric, which is odd.

My theory relating to Will’s character:

Looking back at what mike said, Will’s character class doesn’t make much sense. But, I personally feel like Mike wasn’t being totally honest. First, he listed el, who they might consider to be part of the party but she doesn’t have an actual role in the game, but of course she would be the magic-user/mage. I think that mike made the list based on his feelings about the party specifically regarding will and el. El has powers in real life so it makes sense he assigned her the role of mage, and replacing will for him to become a cleric. It’d be interesting if Will was simply a cleric in mike’s personal thoughts about the party because it would make it so mike views them as very close. Paladins and clerics are very similar in relation to the fundamentals, a paladin is a warrior that swears an oath and serves a deity while a cleric is the servant of a deity that heals and fights. Basically, a cleric does more spell casting and less fighting while a paladin does more fighting and less spell casting. Since the two are so similar it would give a lot of depth to the characters being best friends, who have a much deeper understanding of each other than the rest of the party would. And even if he wasn’t simply a cleric in mikes mind and will the wise is actually a cleric, this would still show that the two having a much deeper connection and understanding of each other was hinted at from the beginning.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for leaving a DND campaign abruptly?

Some backstory: I had joined a DND game about 5 years ago right after breaking up with my toxic ex at the time. Me and my ex were both trying to be cordial at this time and ended up both joining a DND game run by a mutual friend.

In our first session, I had noticed my ex made her character be a parody of me that she made look like an awful person. She then kept dm-ing me during our sessions to tell me how to play my character better and other general backseat gaming stuff.

Very quickly, maybe about a month in, I contacted the DM about leaving the campaign due to wanting to distance myself from my ex. She was very upset I wanted to leave and offered to kick my ex from the group instead. I declined saying it would only cause more drama. The DM agreed to let my character go off at the end of the activity we were gonna do that session so it would make sense story-wise.

But this departure did not happen. after that conversation she vague-posted onling about how people dont want to be her friend. She then purposefully kept extending this part of the plot, just so I wouldnt leave the game and could realize it could still be fun. I told her outright I could not do this anymore after 3 more additional sessions and telling me she'll get to my character's exit soon. I always felt like an ass to the other players in the game for leaving them abruptly but I could not do it anymore.

Fast forward roughly 4 years, the DM tells me she is going to make a new campaign and would like for me to join since my ex was no longer in it. I agreed as I had missed playing DND a lot.

For the past year or so I have been in this campaign and it can be fun at times but I still feel out of place. This new session is a direct continuation of the previous campaign's storyline and regularly references it. Now, as far as I know my ex's character has not been referenced at all but I am constantly reminded of this situation whenever they mention a character's name I don't remember (because honestly I don't remember her characters name nor do I want to). I know I said to not bring her up around me but I don't quite trust this friend to keep her word. Simply because I don't think she ever remembers anything I tell her out of a place of... just not caring.

The DM and I just don't quite mesh that well. I don't really like her DM-ing style of making it up as the session happens. I don't like that she will constantly decide what my character is doing, even if I ask to do something, she tells me to roll to see if i can, i can get a nat20 and she will still decide what my character will do next based on what she thinks is funnier to her but makes my next action harder to accomplish.

I have dm'd her to talk about the progression of my character arc (after she constantly implys in session my character is the comedic relief and doesnt have any character development) and she'll go ooo and aaa (literally all she would say) but never actually implement anything I recommend.

I kept saying to myself it will get better in time. I have voiced my wants for my character, and they are ignored. In session, my character actions are essentially decided for me no matter how I roll the dice. It feels weird to be around half of the party bc they spent 4 years in a campaign with my ex who played a parody of me. esp hard after the DM keeps making me be the comedic relief even though I keep trying to play more seriously. other players constantly joke about how my character is gonna be the one that gets them all killed etc because of actions I dont necessarily decide.

Now as mentioned before, DM is also known to vague-blog about how "her friends secretly hate her" at any moment as well. This has happened before after I tried to "real talk" with her a handful of times over unrelated topics too (even if she initiates this conversation)

Given everything above, I want to leave this DND game after giving it a try for a year (really giving it an opportunity to improve). We left off with my character running off alone to get supplies for the party. I was thinking I could make a statement saying I had some personal things come up and I need to leave the game abruptly and leave it to the DM to decide what to do with my character.

Now I feel like I may be the AH because: I am leaving the game abruptly for a second time technically. I would contact the DM on how to make it make sense for my character to depart, but I feel like she will do the same thing as before with the previous campaign and keep putting it off, especially after ignoring my character growth ideas for a year in this current campaign. I also feel like I may be the AH because in character my group does need those supplies, but there is nothing stopping the DM from controlling my character to deliver supplies within the first 5 minutes of the next session.

[iandoubt]

what if… dnd au but instead of them being heroes and adventures within the dnd universe, they are just a bunch of nerds playing tabletops rpgs together?

like, Tango is the dm who has spent forever crafting the perfect home brew campaign and is determined to make it the most amazing campaign any of them have ever been part of. He’s got the custom maps and characters figures and costumes and voices and one session he even brings in a fog machine for ambience. He’s like the perfect dm to a bunch of perfectly terrible players who will only encourage each others worst dnd habits.

Etho is the one whose been playing dnd since, like, edition 1, and who shows up to the first session of the campaign and starts describing his character and someone’s like “are you playing kakashi from naruto?” And Etho’s like “oh is that who this is? I just found it premade online and thought it sounded cool” and he’s got the emo backstory and looks real cool but is in reality not actually that good of a character and whoever made it horribly messed up the stat distribution but for some reason he always avoids death and it stuck with the underpowered not-kakashi for forever.

Joel is the murder hobo (it’s a dnd term guys trust) who tries to kill everything who also renames all his spells and weapons on dnd beyond to really silly things and then forgets what they were originally and needs someone to translate for him. He will always make sure things get out of hand, accidentally starting cults, making sure the party is always at least mildly morally gray, killing people left and right, aggressively shipping his character with other peoples jus because. He is the embodiment of chaotic neutral. (He says he is chaotic evil in the life series but I think he is more chaotic neutral because chaotic evil will cause chaos for the sake of evil and chaotic neutral will cause evil for the sake of chaos)

Bdubs is the one constantly trying to befriend everything, who also unnecessarily narrates everything he is doing (ex. “I Am RAISING my EYEBROWS at you!!!!”) and he has a million pets and always makes Tango explain what each one is doing at that moment every five seconds and is constantly yelling at Joel for killing everything while Joel is always yelling at him for befriending everything. He will argue that the dice are rigged if he rolls badly and 100% has one of those dice time out chairs and will be extremely superstitious about which dice he uses.

Jimmy is the one who keeps having really great ideas but really terrible luck with the dice rolls, and always manages to stumble into traps. He’s also the only one trying to actually follow the rules and remain completely in character, like everyone’s like “oh it’s probably over here!” And Jimmy’d be like “yeah WE know that but guys our characters wouldn’t!!!!!!!!” And he’s like the perfect player in terms of how nice and easy he makes it for Tango to dm but is terrible at the actual gameplay. He will loudly boast to the enemy that they are about to “get WRECKED, FOOLS!” And pulls out a spell that should kill them instantly if he rolls anything but a nat 1, and guess what he rolls lol.

Scar is the one whose character dies first session and he just picks up a pen, writes “jr” next to the character name, and shouts “I’ve come to avenge my father!” he’d also name his character something like “Hotstuff McSexyman” (if Joel doesn’t take that name first) but actually be surprisingly wholesome and moral, if kinda bad at combat. Extremely oblivious as a player, Tango has to spell out the answer for each puzzle and he will kill an ally genuinely thinking that it’s an enemy.

Grian is the one playing a firmly non-human character who has just the most normal guy core backstory, like “yeah I’m Clarence, I’m 45 with a wife and kids and I’m going on this adventure to celebrate my retirement.” But he’s like a lizard guy or something

Gem is the one who makes a really nice and sweet and normal dnd character and then combat starts and she takes out a magical great sword powerful enough to one shot the BBEG (it stands for big bad evil guy and it’s real dnd term. Gotta love nerd culture) and rolls a nat 20. She is also the only reliably sane one here (Grian goes about managing his sanity like he does shifts at the permit office, and Etho is sane but his character turns out actually to be pretty ineffective at, like, everything so there’s not much he can do except have the privilege of being driven insane rather than already being so. Everyone else is a maniac, some just their characters but not in real life, some are just as crazy “irl” [as in within the au] as their characters)

there is a lot more that could be done with this and a bunch of other people to include these are just the initial thoughts I had.

[idlenight]

humbly asking you for more info on leo ortiz (if you want to ofc!) because everything i hear about him makes me fall more in love

Humbly (but elaborately) answering!!! I love my son - the fact that i advertised for his death to my GM non-withstanding, ignore that.

Leo Ortiz aka Starbright was my character in a game of Masks: A New Generation that is run by my dear friend @vin-ill. (he doesn't post all that much on here but he's a creative genius and I stand by that as his friend, dm, and player).

For those unfamiliar, Masks is a ttrpg based on the 'Powered by the Apocalypse System' (pbta for short). The main draw is that you play a teenage superhero. You are figuring out who you are, who you want to be, and what others (adults especially) want you to be - and whether you want that too.

the TL;DR about Leo is that he's a hypocrite, he never wanted to be a hero, is deeply self-sacrificing, kind of aloof and a dick but cares so much. And that he loves his brother despite everything.

If you want to long version on Leo's history, then take a peek below.

Leonardo Nathaniel Osborn aka Bryce Brilliant started out as the 'Star' playbook. Playbooks aren't like dnd classes, the idea is that you play an archetype. In this case the concept of the Star was being a Hero Influencer, who has an adoring fanbase.... but also obligations that come with that.

(above is the first page of the star playbook I had customised with my own art of Leo :D)

Before being a hero, Leo was a child-actor. When he came out of a car accident with light based powers, his mother created the hero persona 'Bryce Brilliant'. She was his manager and being a hero was just another role he played. His half-brother Logan (older) had been jealous and spiteful of this, he wanted powers, he wanted to be a hero.

When teaming up with a couple of other kids to save the day, his mother insisted they become a superhero team (aka the other players). Their team name was the Bryce Brilliants. They even had a Shoe brand sponsorship.

(first drawing of the entire squad, from left to right: Sam aka Saber, Leo aka Bryce Brilliant, Carey aka Carry, Sky Lee aka Justice)

In the team Leo first learned how to have proper friends teammates, and see being a hero as more than another role to play. Eventually he met Johanna Ortiz, the women he got his powers from.... What you thought they awakened naturally? No his mother bought these powers, she owns the Brilliant name, she owns the right to these powers. Powers that were grafted onto her son.

This is the moment Leo changed playbooks from the Star to the Protege.

The Protege playbook gives the player an NPC who is their mentor, they have a label they embody, and that they deny. (labels are like stats, but they are constantly shifting and are about how you see yourself vs how others see you). If you wanted to play a Robin type character you would probably pick the Protege. This is when he took on the superhero name Starbright.

(above is a screenshot of the Protege mentor labels, to give you an idea)

Leo moved out of his mother's home mansion, and moved into Johanna's trailer. It was quite the culture shock for the boy who would've unironically have said; "I mean it's one banana michael, what could it cost? ten dollars?".

He didn't get to stay a protege for long, as only a few session after he got uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Posessed.

Long story.

TL;DR: power dampening crystal was ground up and put into the water supply. Mixed with an entity that my GM called a 'Hydra-nt' (hydra creature made of water). So it became somewhat sentient and started serious shit all across the city. I failed a roll so fucking bad my guy got possessed by said goo and booked it into the direction of the Gotham to our Metropolis.

The team finished saving the city before going to the Worst City Imagineable(tm) to stage a Leo themed rescue. I played a character named Dr Lovelace (phd) aka Deckard Lovelace at this time, he was a child genius and earned his PHD when he was like, 12 or smth. He had mechanical limbs. i luv him. He never quite got into a hero persona but i had the name Dr Gizmo ready for him. He was the Brain playbook.

(some out of context memes from said rescue mission i found looking for smth else. David is me btw, hi.)

The team found Leo, he got exorcised with the power of friendship and this gun i found. (yk i dont remember exactly what happened, i think Carry did smth fucky with some uhhh power dust she had recently accidentally snorted which was absolutely not Deckard's fault. don't look at me)

the TL;DR of all that is that Leo was possessed by something that was aligned to one of the Five Powers That Be in this universe. Specifically he was possessed by the embodiment of the Abyss, emptiness. We ruled that going from Nothing to once again Everything that Leo was before changed his powers (and him) fundamentally. From then on Leo was the Nova, playbook. (also I made a tiktok about Leo not actually being dead at the time - wow did that not age well. not because it sucks, i still think its funny, but because he is kinda dead now)

The Nova playbook is build around the concept of having amazing godly powers, but little control. You could do everything and anything, but at what cost? Leo's powers become more cosmic than simply light based as a result. (smth smth becoming the sun itself, instead of the light it sheds)

(also HI obligatory new superhero outfit after life changing events 💛💛💛. The jacket used to belong to Johanna 💛💛💛)

A bunch of stuff happened after they got back. Leo changed his name from 'Leonardo Nathaniel Osborn' to 'Leo Ortiz', to officially move away from his birth-mom and align himself with his adoptive one. He broke into prison a little bit to talk and start the healing process with his brother Logan (oh yeah forgot to mention Logan was briefly a villain and Leo got him send to prison). Met a new teammate (an old player returning with a new character). Somehow kept collecting and aligning himself with the OTHER 5 powers that be, which I wasn't even actively trying for yknow. And yknow, fought a religious organisation for a bit.

One that Deckard is totally not responsible for gaining power, nooooo.... Don't look at me. (he just gave their leader a back of magical power dust in exchange for getting information on Leo during the rescue mission ok. it's fine, literally....)

At the climax of that arc, said leader tried to achieve godhood. And using the Nova's 'Moment of Truth', Leo took all of said power inside himself. Completing the 'powers that be' collection in the process, and shooting up far into space where he's become this kind of... shining star.

The moment of truth is an un-lockable playbook feature, where the player takes brief control of the narrative using the guidance of a written out blurb on the playbook. The above image is the MoT for the Nova playbook.

In his death he has created a new power in the universe - the power of friendship. No im not fucking kidding. The list is now: Potential, Tempest, Abyss, Sublime, Architects, and Leo with the power of friendship (and this gun i found).

Figuring he was too volatile to survive very long, he wrote letters to important people in his life. Letters I actually wrote out and printed, and were handed out during play to Players and NPC alike. They were read aloud and it was all very emotional, tears were shed.

A small excerpt from my favorite letter, written for Leo's brother:

Hi Logan, I love you. We stopped saying that to each other at some point. I can’t recall exactly when, I just knew you stopped saying it back so I did too. You know my friend Fleur? Her mother was pretty fucking bad too, and her older brother took her and ran one day. Sometimes I wish either of us had the courage to do the same when we were kids. I’m glad we kind of got there in the end. I’m sorry we lost so much time. I'm sorry we won’t have any more. (the letter continues here but its too long for this already long post)

Leo holds a very very special place in my heart. And he's like, super fucking dead now, and I wanted that to happen. Biting myself for that, evil bastard who does that to a character ಥ_ಥ.

If you got this far, thank you for reading! I love you 💛💛

[we-are-a-dragon]

Hiatus ended!

Hey everyone, sorry we haven't posted our dnd stories in months! There's been a lot going on but basically it got too hard to for the same person who takes quotes to also be one of our current DMs and the whole thing got too overwhelming.

We are only going to be posting quotes from our TTC sessions for now, as the problem came from DM Tati trying to take quotes while running GSP sessions. Sorry to those who enjoyed the shenanigans of Diardi, Gregor, Harriet, Hesty, Hunter, WA and Winnifred, but you'll just have to imagine how their story continues.

We have still been playing all this time, so instead of trying to catch up with quotes we'll summarize Travelling Trauma Centre's adventures in the intervening months (under cut) and then pick up at our current point!

What has TTC been up to since we last posted?

We finished the dungeon The Court of the Crimson King, eventually destroying all but one of the automaton bosses including the Crimson King and his mecha red dragon (Ashiok died in that fight by being completely fucking bisected, but we brought her back to life). We made a truce with the Purple Piper, who without his King to give orders had no further desire for conquest, and went on to hire him and his remaining half dozen automata to guard our manor in Suda (important later) while he proves himself trustworthy.

We then made our way to a town where the son of the mayor kept being kidnapped and ransomed, financially ruining the mayor. We discovered it was a long-term scam wherein the mayor's son had been replaced by a changeling (the real son was living happily with the changeling clan!) and kept getting kidnapped on purpose, but in a twist the 'son' had grown fond of the mayor and wanted to stop robbing him. We brokered a deal between the factions that benefitted everyone (except the changeling leader who went to jail) and convinced the changelings to find more honest work.

From there we travelled up the nearby mountain where there was a dragon we'd been meaning to deal with, Nimble Claws. We had previously encountered a green dragon called The Rotten who had been injured when the younger blue took over his territory. By all accounts life in the mountain had been worse for pretty much everyone since. Unfortunately Nimble Claws had also moved in her elder dragon boyfriend since claiming the territory so we had a lot of dragon on our hands. The Rotten met us there and we managed to sneak all the way into the lair and challenge the boyfriend Cosnemra (chaddest dragon to ever chad) to a duel. We eventually killed Cosnemra and took his skull, whereupon The Rotten (taking Cosnemra's name) decided that instead of killing Nimble Claws and reclaiming his territory would rather move in with her and her egg, allowing her to continue her tyranny. We left with intent to level up and come back to wipe them both out.

We knew peace in Suda for a short while before we were woken in the night by the sounds of fighting. Our brand new automaton guards were fending off a hit squad of kuo'toa, and beyond our garden the city was in flames. We spent a frantic night beating back the kuo-toa hordes and eventually made it to the palace in time to prevent the monsters making it to the emperor (though a lot of people died that night). It turned out the one pulling the strings was... Larissa Firespit, the dragonborn lich we'd already killed twice but whose phylactery we'd failed to destroy before she spawned a third time. Unfortunately with the kuo'toa on her side she was on the cusp of ascending to godhood, and she was intent on finishing us off for good this time. We stole a couple hours of sleep and then stormed her temple in the sewers beneath the city, where she was accompanied by four angels suspiciously veiled in spiderwebs. She put up a tough fight but eventually she was destroyed.

We trudged wearily back to the palace to report to Emperor Cherish and his head bodyguard Dorphi. We told him of all that had transpired and confirmed with one of his personal divination wizards that the lich was finally gone permanently. We then went on to warn him that one of the nobles in the city was really Lolth in disguise, and she had aided Larissa in the attack with her angels and her divine influence. At that moment who should walk in to the emperor's chambers but Lolth in her noble disguise. She berated us for throwing away the perfect opportunity she had given us - to have Larissa kill the emperor so that we could go on to defeat the lich and have Billie take the throne as she was destined to do (she also admitted she had produced the quests that removed all our allies from the city just days before). When we asked why, she declared that she was still determined to have our help in defeating Demogorgon, and we were going to need the resources of the throne to succeed. She then tried to force us to kill the emperor, and when it became clear we weren't going to she threw a deadly spear at him herself, barely intercepted by the party tanks. We resorted to our old ways of bag of holding abuse; Seraph stuffed the emperor into her Bag and then teleported away to our bolt hole at the nearby university. The Spider Queen conceded the day to us and left, while old friend and deus ex machina Maria Cleaves teleported back into the city to help. Everyone reconvened back at the palace and Billie made a plan with the emperor to officially declare her legitimate claim (and loyalty) to the throne and name her as heir, to remove the need for Lolth to kill him.

-

This was a pivotal sequence for TTC and levelled us to 21 (the beginning of Epic Tier; 4th edition having 30 player levels) and granting us our Epic Destinies. During the conversation with Lolth Thaddeus called on Pelor for strength and in response was made an Exalted Angel complete with wings and halo. By summoning Maria and teleporting the emperor away from certain death, Seraph connected directly to the source of magic and became Magic Incarnate. Ashiok was once again dominated by Lolth as god of the drow, but that humiliation and pain catalyzed her path as a Harbinger of Doom destined to destroy Lolth. Billie's refusal to betray the emperor and her oath to make things right in her own way made her a Topaz Crusader with a particular enmity for demons. Kjell's fearlessness in the face of divinity unlocked his Archfey bloodline. Godric had already been offered a fusion of souls and power by his patron, and will take up his chosen destiny the next time they meet.

Following these climactic events TTC needed some down time and spent the last few weeks of the summer on a road trip, visiting family around Persia. Seraph finally returned to the village of Moraspire that was destroyed in her childhood to find it rebuilt and thriving, but her parents confirmed dead. Thaddeus checked in on the tiny village of Piravhaz and found all was well, which he had set out as an adventurer to ensure. Billie visited her baker mums for the first time since being driven out of her village and finally caught them up on all her adventures. Kjell took us to meet his family, finally able to show them the fine man he has become since his difficult departure. Godric decided not to visit his family, having finally made peace with his past and no longer needing their approval or validation to love himself. The party then returned to Suda to sort things out re: Billie's adoption to the royal family, and to embark on the next arc of their extraordinary story.

[dragongirlfangs]

HI EVERYBODY I GOT ART COMMISSIONED (by Beel0ver on twitter) OF MY CHARACTER IN THE MASKS TTRPG CAMPAIGN I'VE BEEN PLAYING IN FOR MORE THAN A YEAR, AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH I NEED TO GUSH ABOUT HER

This is Alba Eriksdottir, 17, hero name Obsidian. A normal girl who one day suddenly started growing scales, and then a good few more things*.

Then, when she could no longer hide the changes, she became a pariah, no one in her corner except her mom. Even when she realized her newfound strength and durability and decided to help people, by defending her neighborhood against the gang/mob that had been harassing and extorting them, she was ambushed by the leader of that gang (a publically-a-hero named Sigurd) and subsequently framed by him as a villain (and named 'Fafnir' by the media).

After that, desperate for it to end, she contacted another young hero who people also distrusted to ask her for advice. They met up to talk, and when a villain attacked a nearby dam, Alba, this hero, and another one who happened to be there with his high school class all banded together to stop him.

That's how she met her team.

And while she still isn't liked by the public, and people still fear her, now she has friends, and is dating a fellow team member and a girl from a friendly (more neutral) team who also can't hide her powers and is very into her. And she also chose her own hero name.

(*She's going through her second, dragon puberty.)

(No, I somehow didn't realize how trans this all is until it was pointed out to me. Our wonderful DM has leaned into that more and more as the sessions went on and I adore it.)

[batim-artists-rewrite-au]

"Welcome to Joey Drew Studios!"

First of all, there are some BIG TWs!!! Being: Violence, past Trauma, HEAVY GORE(Later on), Mental health themes(some of the characters are HEAVILY traumatized), Mentions of religion(Sammy fucking existing.), NSFW stuff (gore, heavy language, sexual, ect.) Horror themes(But that's later down the line), past/implied abuse, religious trauma(Again, SAMMY), bad parenting, torture(Most of the stuff past this point is later down the line), mistreatment of others, stalking, obsession, near death experiences, murder, visual horror on some sprites, torture mentions, heavy grief in some characters, mentions of stuff like implied alcoholism, parent death mention, and death.

RULES:

-NO MINORS. THIS IS FOR MOD HUNTER'S COMFORT AND THERE’S SHIT THAT KIDS SHOULD NOT BE SEEING. THIS IS A 17+ BLOG.

-Don't throw a hissy fit if a character is rude to you.

-Some characters here are straight. Some are gay. Fucking deal with it, don't throw a hissy fit about it.

-Be patient with ships! They may not appear at first, but they will appear in due time! <3

-Please don’t try to introduce characters into the universe. The characters may recognize your username if it comes up a lot, but otherwise, all asks will be just “messages” for them.

-DO NOT FORCE SHIPS. SOME SHIPS EXIST, OTHERS DON’T, SUCK IT UP, BUTTERCUP.

-If you want us to tag something a certain way, DM us and we will try our hardest. DO NOT ABUSE THIS.

- This is an AU, so this is OUR TAKE on a story in the Bendy and the ink machine universe, Please respect this.

- Also! If a character is dead, they’re DEAD. What we say about a character’s mortality goes.

-This is a mature story. It'll contain mature topics. Read the trigger warnings and read accordingly.

-This features OCs. Don't like, don't read. Thanks.

-This heavily features OC x Canon. Don't like, fuck off. Cope, seethe.

-NO TRANSPHOBIA, APHOBIA, OR LGBTQIA+ PHOBIA IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM.

-IF YOU'RE A RECURRING ASKER, PLEASE NAME YOURSELF. IT HELPS MOD HUNTER BE ABLE TO KEEP TRACK OF PEOPLE. 

- There are 2 mods, one of those mods doesn't take people's shit, and will act rude to you if provoked, you have been warned. 

- This was made out of the Mods' love for this series, don’t ruin it for us, thanks.

-Follow the rules. Please, for the love of God, follow the rules. 

-THIS HAS BEEN IN THE WORKS FOR SEVEN+ YEARS-ISH ON AND OFF. BE FUCKING RESPECTFUL, HOLY SHIT.

-DO NOT BE UPSET WHEN A CHARACTER REACTS POORLY WHEN YOU PROD THEM TOO MUCH. USE COMMON SENSE.

-SOME CHARACTERS ARE MORALLY GRAY. CHARACTERS/PEOPLE ARE COMPLEX. DEAL WITH IT.

-Some sessions focus on some characters more than others. You can still ask others stuff, but the ones who are the main focus will be priority.

-Will add as needed.

Love Mod Bee and Mod Hunter

EXTRA: Main blogs are: 

Bee's: @horror-beeings-artandwriting

Hunter's: @hunter-the-sad-skeleton

Mod pronouns:

Bee: She/her (co owner)

Hunter: He/him (MAIN OWNER)

[thequeenofmyownscreen]

Yesterday night was our last session of my first D&D campaign ever

Last night we drank merrily, saying goodbye (for now) to the 4 adventurers in my first D&D campaign ever, for which I was the DM (1st time ever also). I feel very happy and a little sad also, so I thought I could write it all up here - mostly for me, and for you reading if that interests you.

It was more of a Wrap-up session, we didn't play per se, but I wanted to recap the last scenes, and give the floor to my players to ask some questions and discuss what we've been doing. It was a good idea, I think, it went great, we had time to reminisce and remember the beginnings, the roads not taken and the what-ifs, the monsters and the battles they were traumatized by, and what their characters would do now.

Flashbacks and sneak peeks and more thoughts under the cut

When I started to watch Critical Role, I had no idea what D&D was. All I heard were mentions of it in media (tv shows, mostly). It intrigued me more and more, and I started to look at the rules, and the books published, etc. And then one day on an impulse, I bought the Starter Set : Lost Mine of Phandelver, and sent a message to my sister and some friends, asking if they were interested to see what it was about with me.

In April 2021, with my sister and 3 friends, 4 players in total, we created their characters, and we started truly playing in May 2021. At first, we played only once a month, in person, because Roll20 is awesome for battles but not much for anything else (personal opinion). Plus we were going out again after the pandemic, it felt nice. Then in June 2022, one of my friends and players decided to leave, and we recruited another friend at the same time, so I still had 4 players to manage through and through. They were all pretty much novices like me (only 1 had played before), and so we all learned together during the years. In multiple ways ! small but important things like : who's taking care of the scheduling, who's time is it to host and what food & drink will we bring, who has many dice and can lend them, how can we figure the characters without buying expensive minis (we ended up using fèves, which is a very French thing I will explain now : at the beginning of the year, you gather your friends or colleagues or family or whatever to eat the galette des rois, literally cake of the kings, and whether you make it or bought it, there is always inside 1 very small porcelain figurine, and the person finding it gets to be King/Queen for the day. Yeah it's the same country who decapitated the last king, don't ask. Anyway sometimes people collect the small porcelain figurines, and then their grandchildren sell the collection, and we ended up with a lot for practically nothing.).

In late 2022 and throughout 2023, we decided to try and play more, and managed - with a few exceptions - to play twice a month, which we found was a good rhythm : for me, to not have too much prep work, and for my players, to not forget everything that happened last time. In the meantime, another friend of mine with whom I am having lunch at work with very regularly, got used to hear me talking about "the shit my players did last night" and was very interested in following this as a story ; she asked questions, and gave me a space to think, and even ended giving advice and suggestions ! I'm naming her my unofficial co-DM now. It was nice to have someone know all the twists and the structure of the story, and to exchange ideas and jokes.

One thing I was very happy to do, and was very happy when my players talked about it saying I did a good job : PROPS ! The adventure as written has a few examples of message of hiring mercenaries, strange letters sent by a mysterious figure, etc etc. For one, I took time to write in ink (in my teenage years I was obsessed by calligraphy and I still have a quill), and for another I passed the paper in coffee and tea and then dried it to give it an ancient look. Props like this costs nothing but it's awesome.

During 2022 and 2023, 2 of my players had moved far away, but we managed to set up remote video calls for them, while us 3 others gathered 'round the table, and we even had an elaborate if precarious system to film the map during battles (pictured down). And yes for the final dungeon, I printed the map in extra-large, and ended using the wall to show the progress in exploring !

I won't recap all of the story, it doesn't matter in the end, everyone who's ever played knows that you can do an adventure 30 times and it will end up in 30 different stories. What's interesting was that the Lost Mine of Phandelver is described as "a perfect campaign to start playing" : that I agree with ; but that doesn't mean it does not need work. Thankfully the Internet is awesome, and since it's the most played adventure of 5E, a LOT of people have advices, do nots and dos, stories of their own campaigns, useful links and tools, etc. 1st lesson : if it exists already, use that shit. Use it like the world is ending tomorrow. At the start, I was doing this on my own volition, and prepping way too much, while being scared to change things. Then I was inspired reading reddits posts (yes, it happens), and seeing videos, and I started adding more details of my own - or stuff I borrowed from others Internet strangers. The paradox was that I was getting more comfortable while prepping less, because... I got the hang of it, I think it's what happened !

I still have some frustrations, some I shared last night with my players : easier-than-expected batles for my players (the 1st was a conscious act of mercy, and the battle ended way too quickly of course ; the 2nd was I forgot an important detail of the villain's weapon and could not use it, but in the end she had other stuff and the battle was still epic). 2nd lesson : listen to Matt Mercer when he says that as a DM, you really want to use the nuclear option in your opponent’s arsenal on the opening round. If you don't, you will have regrets. My other big frustration is about the player that decided to leave ; we just didn't understand the game on the same-level, but it makes me a little sad that she left before it could click for her, and we could truly talk about it. Especially since last night, I was overjoyed listening to my players talk each about their "epiphany" of how the game works, and how they got comfortable after feeling this truth, and seeing how "you don't win at D&D, the fun is everything else", and I was like yesssssss YOU you get it. 3d lesson : communication ! (it feels like there's still room for improvement, but we have a nice flow going).

All and all, it was an amazing experience, 10/10, will do it again ; and we will ! we agreed we will come back years from now to Faerûn ! and I'll be back as a DM ! and we'll do another written campaign continuing from level 5 (I know there's written options out there). In the meantime though, my sister is leaving our group just for this year, but we're going to keep playing at 4. And this time, I'll be a player !! One of my former players, the amazing @greetingsprogramms will be our DM : she already did 2 one-shots throughout the 2 years, and she did a fantastic job. We're going where a lot of fantasy people have not gone before : spaaaaaaace !

[ivy-cat-700]

stupid shit that happened in my dnd campaigns so far

SO IVE BEEN PLAYING DND SINCE????? like either late last year or early this year. i'd wanted to for a while and when a classmate asked us all if we wanted to join her campaign. what was i supposed to do? say no??

and because every person i've played with over two campaigns is an absolutely ridiculous human being, we have Many silly happenings from both.

campaign 1:

Stromboli Ironfist: one of our players, a dwarf barbarian chef who started the campaign with the goal of being the best chef in the land but i think he kinda lost that over time. when he showed the name on his character sheet to the dm. she was in tears laughing.

Stromboli Jr.: the adopted goblin son of Stromboli, who adopted him immediately after killing his entire guild(? dont exactly recall). the matching names are, canonically, a complete coincidence.

housekeeping?: we were going through a dilapidated castle and every time someone asked us "what are you doing here?" in a new room, stromboli said ".......housekeeping?" and it. it never worked. except for ONE TIME. when a guard rolled SO LOW that they were just like "oh yeah we've been waiting on you guys!" So then we cleaned some cobwebs off the walls to keep up the act :')

throwing wolves in the fire: one of our players just kept throwing wolves in fires. that is all.

tormenting wren with milk: (wren is the character's name, not the player cause i didnt wanna put their name out there.) dm kept giving wren milk-related items and just would not stop. we were IN TEARS every time and. we ended up giving them a mcguffin of "The Strawberry Nesquik" at the end of the game. i believe that strawberry nesquik ended up being empty. the world is truly unfair to Wren Serpent. (also, wren was the one who threw wolves in fires)

Badger Milking Farm: THIS ONE HAS CONTINUED TO THE PRESENT DAY. during one of the times at which wren received a Milk Item, namely Badger Milk, he was extremely confused about the existence of such a thing. my character, zora, said, "what, you don't know about badger milk? some of my most formative memories are with badger milk!" this led to the canonization of the idea that Zora Grew Up On A Badger Milking Farm.

Campaign 2:

least productive session ever: first session of the new campaign! .....we spent the entire time beating each other up and failing to go through a waterfall that was Literally Right The Fuck There. before we had a single encounter, two of us almost died.

THE APPLESAUCE: dm gave us the name of a VERY IMPORTANT AND PLOT RELEVANT ITEM, we decided to butcher the name as "The Applesauce." no matter what she renames it. we will always call it the applesauce.

not-a-puzzle: this hellish nightmare was created by stromboli's player. we spent the back half of one session and part of another trying to figure out what the hell we were supposed to do for a """"puzzle."""" i said out loud at some point, "is there something obvious we're missing here??" to which the dm and stromboli had to try very hard not to laugh. one player then decided to ask, "can i just go??" she tried the door. and. IT WASNT FUCKING LOCKED. i have a grudge i will hold for all eternity from that

zora's glasses: so the new campaign is centered around a new band of heroes trying to mend the things that our old characters royally fucked up. so we're getting to meet our old characters! and when we met zora (on the badger milking farm, mind you) she asked us to find her glasses. i told the dm that i wanted the glasses to be a pair of new year's eve novelty glasses for a year that has not happened yet. and so, that is what they became.

that is all i can think of but if i remember more. i will put them

[screaminlonglive]

Karma is an Album

In defense of evidence of Taylor Swift’s lost album 

Alright, Swifties. It is time for a master post. There is too much evidence to support the theory of the lost album Karma, and it is time to put it all together in one place. I have done everything in my power to include any small indication of the existence of Karma, but please feel free to dm / comment with evidence not included in this post, and I will update as needed. I am going to create this document in as close to a chronological timeline as humanly possible. Strap in. 

If you can watch the Miss Americana documentary, I highly recommend that you do so and listen very carefully to Taylor Swift when she addresses the timeline surrounding this possible experience. I also will reference and recommend that you watch the long pond studio sessions. Understanding the timeline from Taylor’s perspective and hearing the way she addresses the timeline really helps put you into her shoes and understand what she could have been experiencing and what she may have gone through that may have caused her to scratch an entire album. What is Karma? For many years, Taylor Swift fans have speculated that Karma is the name (or even code name of - consider that she revealed she uses code names like with the woodvale chaos) the album that Taylor Swift was set to release in 2016. Fans theorize that Karma was shelved following the Kanye drama and Taylor Swift disappeared from the public eye for nearly a year  in November of 2016 instead of releasing her sixth studio album. Taylor “rose up from the dead” in August of 2017 to release the lead single from her album, “Look What You Made Me Do.” As much as it pains me to detail this drama, let’s recap 2016, as this is truly where the foundation of where our story begins. First, let’s talk about the Kimye drama. Unfortunately this is critical to how the Karma story plays out, so let’s take a quick review. During the VMA awards in 2009, a 19 year old Taylor Swift was accepting her moon man for Best Video of the Year. 32-year old Kanye West infamously got up on stage, took the microphone from Taylor, and said “I am really happy for you and I’m gonna let you finish, but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time.” They are seen together in 2015 at the Grammys, but we won’t go too deep into the Kanye/Taylor timeline. Let’s flash-forward to February of 2016, where Taylor Swift and Kanye have seemingly mended fences to a certain extent. Kanye debuts his song “Famous,” which has the lyric “I still feel like me and Taylor might have sex. Why? I made that bitch famous (goddamn).” Facing backlash from twitter,Kanye reveals that he got permission from Taylor.  (we later learn in a statement that Taylor’s publicist Tree Paine put out that they spoke in January of 2016.) Although Taylor herself does not explicitly address the lyric, her friends come to her defense. Her younger brother Auston posts his “spring cleaning” video, trashing Kanye merch. Taylor makes history as the first woman to win AOTY twice at the grammys for 1989, and seemingly addresses how she feels about the Kanye drama in her speech. She says “"[A]s the first woman to win album of the year at the Grammys twice," Swift said, "I want to say to all the young women out there, there are going to be people along the way who will try to undercut your success or take credit for your accomplishments or your fame." She continued, "If you just focus on the work, and you don't let those people sidetrack you, someday when you get where you're going, you'll look around and you will know that it was you and the people who love you who put you there, and that will be the greatest feeling in the world. Thank you for this moment." Although we do not see much public drama, we can assume there was some going on behind closed doors over the next few months. Things get messy again publicly in June/July 2016. Kim Kardashin interviews with GQ and support’s Kanye's claim that he called and got Taylor’s approval for the song. Tree Paine releases a statement denying the claims, and Kanye drops the music video in late June and Kanye also appears on SNL and is recorded backstage calling Taylor “fake.”  Controversy was re-ignited by the audio clips from the 2009 VMA incident included on the video as well as most memorably, the nude wax figure of Taylor Swift Kanye is seen in bed with. Kim discusses the making of the video and the ongoing controversy in the July 17 episode of KUWTK, which is the date we reach the absolute peak of this drama. Kim also releases footage of the Taylor/Kanye phone call to her snapchat account in what’s known as “snapchatgate.” This footage is clipped, and paints Taylor out to be a liar. Kim throws more fuel on the fire with her famous “national snake day” tweet the following day, and followers flood Taylor swift with snake emojis. Taylor finally publicly explicitly address the Kanye drama with her instagram post that concludes “"I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of, since 2009” #KimExposedTaylorParty begins to trend on twitter, followed by #TaylorSwiftisoverparty. Kanye denies that he was trying to “take down taylor” in his 2016 VMAs speech. 

So what is Taylor up to during this time? 

It is important to note that up until the 2016 drama with Kimye, Taylor Swift released new albums every 2 years like clockwork: Debut- Oct 24, 2006 (last thursday in october) 

Fearless- Nov 11, 2008 (second tuesday in november) 

Speak Now -Oct 25, 2010  (last monday in october) 

Red - Oct 22, 2012(last monday in october) 

1989 -  Oct 27, 2014 (last monday in october) It is kind of interesting that with the exception of Fearless, they are all even released during the last week of October - numerically within 5 days of one another.  Her last three albums were released EXACTLY two years apart if you consider that all three albums were released on the last monday of october. I also want to point out that although Friday releases are standard, Taylor Swift has released many singles on this date, she did not adhere to this “standard” when releasing her albums. 

Taylor likes to debut a change in hair / look and this had come to signify the start of a new era in Taylor’s career. For example, she let vogue cut her bangs for the first time going into the red era and she had her hair cut at the end of red tour to signify going into 1989. 

The 1989 tour ended 12 December 2015, the day before Taylor’s 26th birthday. The Grammy’s was a couple of months later, and spring of 2016 became known as the “Bleachella” era - Taylor  went to coachella for the first time with her extremely bleach blonde hair - Vogue wanted to debut her as a “Rock ‘n Roll Chick” for the May issue (6 months pre-expected karma drop date). This is also the same cover that she does the 73 questions interview where she says “Karma is real.” 

During this time, Taylor also wrote ‘This Is What You Came For’ under pseudonym for then-bf Calvin Harris (we will discuss this later in rep era). 

Taylor performs only once this year and it is known as “The” 2016 concert for this reason. She performs a “greatest hits” concert for Formula 1. 

Taylor also was a co-chair for the 2016 Met Gala where she met Joe Alwyn this year. We can discuss Tom Hiddleston as well, but let’s just thank him for inspiring Getaway Car and move on with the timeline. Thanks, Tom. And of course after meeting earlier in the year, Taylor and Joe began to date while Taylor was in hiding. Following her timeline from the Lover Diaries, she writes that they had been dating for three months as of Jan 3, 2017. It is interesting to note that other than this entry and the entry that she made in 2016 stating that “this summer is the apocalypse,” the lover diaries are devoid of any entries after 2015. She makes no mention on the process or lyrics of reputation or lover in the way she gave us insight into other eras of her life. It could have been “too close.” at the time, but since we are going to be thorough, I felt that it was worth noting when I searched for clues in the diaries I found nothing notable other than the lack of any content from this time period. Consider the dichotomy of the experiences that Taylor was undergoing in 2016. She was simultaneously on top the world for this incredible achievement for not only a second AOTY grammy win, but in another genre. But if you listen to her describe this time in the Miss Americana Doc, you realize how incredibly alone she feels at the time. We also know  that Taylor basically spent the entire year constantly biting her tongue while kimye continued to take public shots over and over again throughout the year. 

Taylor has always written songs - she may have taken a short break but this could have been more of an issue with her record label not letting her release the kind of music that she wanted to. This was going to be the last album that she recorded with this record label and she had to be extremely **”calculated”** in her decisions surrounding TS6.Taylor was much older and wiser than when she first signed the BMR, and you cannot convince me she didn’t know what could happen to her masters. Taylor took surprise songs and RAN with them on the rep tour, and no one can ever convince me otherwise: Taylor knew that could be a sort of “bye for now,” because she had no idea what was at the end of her contract with BMR. Taylor left easter eggs about stolen masters in LWYMMD because that did not happen overnight. It may have been a wildest nightmare for Taylor, but she is smarter than to have been completely utterly shocked at how that situation played out. But let’s go back to 2016. 

Fans theorize that Karma is more of a punk / rock album and possibly was a little more aggressive and possibly angry than her previous work. She was in the business of reinvention. (Also if you haven’t seen the live “rock” version of Bad Blood,” please go do yourself a favor and watch that and then come back. We will wait.)  But with her reputation plummeting, it seemed increasingly obvious as the year progressed that it would have been a bad idea to put out an album with that kind of negative vibe at that time. This could have been her label’s decision, her decision, or a little of both.

We do know that she was very likely writing songs while she was on tour, as we know touring and being with her fans inspires her. Whether she made an entire album yet, we couldn’t say of course. But we know that Taylor never stops writing songs. It is one of her greatest outlets. To those who argue that Taylor told us “I don’t know what’s next” - are you really telling me that she was going through some of the most difficult parts of her life and not writing songs? Please. She was writing songs. You’ll note that Reputation did not have any deluxe tracks, and it is a very carefully selected, sonically cohesive 15 songs. No further explanation. Taylor created other music in this time, and no one would ever be able to convince me otherwise. 

Following the peak of the kimye drama, Taylor Swift disappears from the public eye entirely for nearly a year. She is also said to have begun recording reputation at this time as well (September 2016). Although we have considered that her Earth, Wind, and Fire cover may have referred to an anniversary with Joe, the “28th night of September,” could really represent any one of many “transition moments” happening in her life simultaneously. - possibly the moment she decided to shelve karma and create a concept album for reputation.  

Fast forward through the dark Taylor-less ages because as we know, the world moves on another day, another drama, drama. 

Taylor Swift’s social media accounts are all famously wiped clean and she starts the reputation era with a literal blank slate. She teases and releases the lead single, Look What You Made Me Do. Let's take this point to go over the (known) easter eggs for Karma in this video, followed by …Ready For It? And Delicate. There are so many easter eggs in reputation - she didn’t give public interviews during this era.  In her first interview for the lover era, she stated that she wanted to communicate with fans and she left SO MANY easter eggs in the reputation era. Particularly she notes that she likes to leave easter eggs on clothes. 

LWYMMD released 24 August 2017 (monday) 

-Digging up different iterations of herself - “digging up the grave another time.” 

-dead taylor dug herself out of her grave and then buried her other self. 

-Nils Sjöberg is pictured in the cemetery as well (anagram of ringless job?) -last video we saw was herein OOTW video - same dress 

-”the world moves on another day, another drama, drama. But not for me, not for me, all I think about is Karma.” -bird cage Taylor dress all in orange -> and sings “they once belonged to me” 

-Taylor is physically in the vault and then seen stepping out of it - a representation of her vault tracks being set loose with her re-recorded albums. 

-5 cats in the vault including taylor - blue, pink, red, yellow. We do not see them take their masks off, but they follow Taylor out of the vault unmasked. - the person in the Orange shirt last in line 

-vault within the vault in the background

-unchained handcuffs in scene where taylor hits pile of money with a baseball bat -no speak now Taylor in the tower 

-TS6 with a new Taylor - grounds the plane and it becomes “reputation” instead. 

-different Taylors at the end  

Delicate - Taylor isn't being seen

Orange columns in subway station graffiti with “Track 5”

Ready for it 

Spider boy - “I see how this is gon’ go”  - Scooter is the spider boy 

“Naked” taylor in glass closet resists change - chaining her at first but then empowers her 

-same imagery we see on the eras tour during the LWYMMD set -  with different Taylor’s in glass closets. When they break free to come after her, she is already rising above them all 

The Orange Vault Taylor becomes sort of the first “symbol” of orange as the color representing Karma. She releases two magazines, one of which is orange. Taylor also released an orange limited pressing of reputation on vinyl. Some fans theorize this is an easter egg and some think that it could have been “leftover” from the karma plans and something taylor “used up.” Since we spent all of that time talking about Kanye, I want to point out something I did not realize until I started the research for this post. I am not myself a Kanye fan, so when I saw the album cover for “Life of Pablo,” I audibly gasped. Not only does the print remind me of half of the reputation cover, the color is strikingly “karma”orange. 

Now that Taylor is back and in full force, let’s enter the lover era. Taylor makes her directorial debut with “The Man,” and we are first introduced to “The Man Wall.” in 13th street station. 

In the Lover music video, we were shown different rooms in different colors meant to represent different eras in Taylor’s career. The yellow Fearless room is upside down, much like Fearless is written backwards here. Although fans did not know what it meant at the time, many people concluded that this is how Taylor would signify where she would begin her re-recordings. She emphasized that “it’s a clock,” and at the time of this writing, the rerecords have been announced in this order: Fearless, Red, Speak Now.  If the announcements continue to follow the clock, Taylor would announce reputation, Taylor Swift (possibly?) and end with 1989. You’ll notice the other word written on the wall is the word “Karma,” once in blue and once in orange. Fans speculate that the blue Karma represents the single and the Orange at the midnight position represents the Album. Following the clock, the release schedule would go 199 -> Karma, as Taylor always intended. Note that the word “MISSING” appears atop the poster on the karma wall. Here’s where it gets even more interesting. karmaonthewall.com redirects to Taylor Swift’s website. You are greeted with a page that says “OOPS... LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING'S MISSING!” and the www. Becomes “https://www.taylorswift.com/aftermidnightsitstarts”   …. after midnights, it starts. Of course we know that she has an album called midnights. Track 11 of midnights is Karma - a sleepless night, or many sleepless nights. Some fans speculate that each thing she “lists” in the song” could correlate to a song on her lost album of the same name. There’s yet another theory that says these lists refer to other artists under scooter’s control.  It is interesting to point out that Karma is Track 11 and if she released Karma after Midnights, it would be the 11th album. When Taylor announced the track for Karma in MMWM, she broke her “usual release cycle” of videos - much like she broke her usual release cycle of the album in the first place. The “Larger Than Life” Taylor that appears in the antihero music video and in the eras tour is wearing the same outfit she wore in the MMWM announcement video for karma. This could represent many things, but I think it could nod to something “bigger” than just a song called karma. This is also a truly vintage 70’s  shirt that she is wearing, not a modern iteration of an older fashion. The spotify canvas for the song Karma is arguably orange. Blake Lively made an instagram post that mirrors “The Man Wall” with an orange background. Let’s talk about the Eras tour a little. I don’t know exactly how to describe how it felt to watch the moments leading up to the opening, but I felt a wave of immeasurable emotion at her song choices in the leading moments. When I first heard Lady Gaga’s Applause I was immediately a little sad. I thought about how Taylor was pop culture so much that pop culture became her and of course “I live for the applause,” brought up echoes of Taylor in Miss Americana talking about how all she lived for was approval. I am not gonna lie, I almost cried, and not because Taylor was coming soon. And then the countdown clock started and You Don’t Own Me came on and I felt yet another crashing wave of emotion at this choice as well. I should stop here and note that people have had many different reports on when the countdown clock starts. I have caught very few live streams in time, but I have seen 02:23 a few times and this could mean a lot of things - even representing the year she is doing this tour. I saw a fan online theorize that 02:29 could represent the leap year upcoming in 2024, but I haven’t seen a 02:29 countdown. I don’t know what it means, but I did think it was worth mentioning. Taylor would do something as completely unhinged as plan to release a skipped album on a leap day, so do not put it past her. Although, I don’t think that’s a clown car I ride in, don’t forget the “it still feels like March '' written on an orange sticky note from her spotify advertisement during the pandemic - could that be a clue? The extra day in February could refer to something that “feels like March.” Back to eras tour. It’s important to note that Taylor concludes the tour with the song Karma and walks through an orange door at the very end of the show. Much in the way that Taylor dives into her midnights era on the tour, she also walks into her karma area just after the midnights era ends. 

Let’s talk about the green folklore outfit. It’s a custom Alprerta Ferelti - the original is orange. She debuted this as well as her orange 1989 outfit at her first show on the 13th. She also performed Speak Now this night, which would soon be announced as her next re-record. I think it's safe to say Taylor is signaling with the color changes of her costume changes, and equally safe to say that no one has yet deciphered the pattern yet. I still think this is worth nothing, as Orange has become a symbol for Karma. We also need to discuss Rebekah Harkness. Yes, that one. Her third husband nicknamed her Karma. Taylor said she wanted to write the Rebekah Harkness story for a long time on long pond, and this could be a call back to many things - mostly a nod to the fact that she’d been researching and thinking about Rebekah for a long time - likely since she bought the house, aka  just before Karma would have been thought of. Taylor wore a white jacket with her albums emblazoned on it at her AMAs performance to accept her artist of the decade award. She was joined on stage by 8 kids, seemingly representing each of her albums, but only 7 albums that we knew of existed. We now have the Karma music video since the time of initial writing, and so many other easter eggs to unpack here. I love the countdown clock in the final moments of the video, but this entire post was inspired by the first few seconds of the song Karma, and that’s what I will conclude with. I have been completely baffled that in all of my research on Karma, I haven't seen a single person point out that the beginning of the track sounds like an old album or like a dusty record. My partner picked up on this clue immediately because it was so obvious to us as older millennials. However, I didn’t see anyone point it out online. Taylor visually emphasizes this at the beginning of the music video for those who didn’t hear it automatically when listening to the track. Whether or not you believe in Taylor’s lost album, I hope you enjoyed reading the evidence I have compiled here today - and will continue tacking onto this post as time goes on. I can’t possibly have found all of the easter eggs, but I have been as thorough as I could in the making of this post. Please feel free to comment or message me with things I may have missed, because I want this to be a true master post. Much like the ten minute version of All Too Well was once a myth but is now a reality, there is a chance you, like me, believe that Karma is real…

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Wibta if I told my friend, upfront, I do not want his toxic partners in my campaign party without specifying why?

Everyone in this is 22+

So I (22NB) have been working on a campaign for at least 3 years now. I used dnd as a base and built off it to make my own world, races, mechanics, massive maps, religions, languages etc. This will be a massive campaign with highlights on religion and dealing with gods as a mortal etc and I've put so many hours into it it isn't even funny. I mean shit, I picked music for different areas depending on if it's day or night.

I made a discord server to house most of the basic info my players would need from table rules to the races and beyond. I mainly had the idea that the party would consist of my dmnpc guide (he doesn't fight or break the game, his only action during fighting is the help action and guide the party. Im not an asshole dm who makes my guide the protagonist. If its important, death doesn't really exist in my campaign due to demi-god race stuff, the party just gets sent back to its last save point with my grumpy man guide saying I told you so.), my partner's character (24f)(she dosent get preferential treatment. We've been together for 8 yrs) and my best bud's character (22tm. Been friends for 8 yrs). I never said I specifically only wanted my partner and friend to be party members but it was implied due to the fact I never invited my friends partners to the discord. I just don't really have many friends and this is the first time I've ever dm-ed period, let alone dming my own homebrew. We're all pretty novice newbie players and I think it'll be fun for us to stumble through the game together in a much less complicated form of DND without seasoned players "um actually-"ing us the whole time.

My partner is excited to try and my friend is ecstatic and about 2 years into development (last November) he asked if I could let his partners join the campaign. There're a few issues with this beyond me not really knowing them and not wanting to run a large party (it's hard for seasoned dms to run a 4+ party, let alone I, a fresh infant of a dm). My friend has 3 partners of his (he has 4 total) he wants to introduce to my campaign, this includes (fake names): Mel(24nb), Sandy (mid 20s f) and Rue (23 tw). I have issues with each individual present and it all stems from me sitting in on a different campaign for a single session. See, my friend has his own campaign (much smaller, follows one story in one town on an island instead of my entire continent) and he tried to run it by those three partners (and 2 friends. Names and genders unnecessary, they were our age) while I quietly sat in the session (it was over a discord call, were all in differnet states except for me and my partner) and watched it run just to see how my friend dmed and how the groups chemistry was. They had a 3 hour session.

It was the most socially awkward, intense and passive aggressive 3 hours of my life. Mel barely paid attention and as a result, had to have things explained to them when they weren't listening. They would then would talk over the person explaining things, pick apart their language and get irritated to the point of telling them (mostly rue) to shut up. Mel was quite litterally looking for a fight constantly. Sandy was relatively quiet but also not paying attention and talking over other players actions. She also would come up with random "icks " and one minute was telling everyone to keep all sexual jokes and comments to themselves because it made her uncomfortable then the next said her character was literally blowing a guy in the back of tavern.(btw this is not a fetish campaign or anything, it was out of left field for everyone and my friend shut it down because of that) Rue was the "uhm actually" type who pointed out inaccuracies, broken rules and lack of realism (it's a pirate fantasy magic campaign. There isn't much to focus on realism). Rue was clearly the most seasoned player but the nicest all things considered. She was mostly just condescending and treated my friend like he was stupid for not having every single detail mapped out. The party also had 2 of his friends but they were just as quiet as me and also either not paying attention or listening to the shit show. The session litterally ended with Sandy and Mel having the tiniest argument, mel pulling a crying running away anime protagonist "I'm sorry for being just a fucking terrible person! Ill leave so you all can have fun!!" Then hanging up all dramatically. Safe to say, their party was literally every red flag I was warned about by dm guide content.

My friend then came to me and said they broke up with Sandy that night but were still friends and I was still in shock from the sheer toxicity. Did I mention I had only met Sandy and the two other friends that night? And had only spoken over the phone to Mel once in a group call and met rue in person 2 times? Safe to say, I do not want litterally any of his partners in my party for various reasons and I feel as if just one of them at my table would make my patience end on sight. I consider myself to be very flexible and want to do my very best to be a fair but strong dm who doesn't get their story absolutely trampled by players intentionally trying to ruin my story and watch me scramble (mel and sandy openly did that). These players would disrespect my table rules for fun. Even my friend said they never respect him and his story as a DM and he won't run a game with them again and he thinks they'll respect my rule? As a baby dm? Nah fam.

He wants to bring rue and Mel into my campaign and I haven't answered him yet. I've mostly dodged the question with "I'm not sure how big of a party I feel comfortable dming for, I'll know later down the line." And he's asked again, still curious. I don't wanna judge my friends relationships because he and Mel have been together for 5 years and rue has been with him for 2 (they were together previously before rue came out and rue tried to control and physically abuse him. Thats another reason I don't want her in my campaign. Fuck abusers) but the toxicity they would bring would probably poison me. If I bring these things up, idk how my friend would react and he can be a bit... Extreme when he gets defensive. Cutting people off permanently at a moments notice then coming back crying or confused. He has BPD which explains it but I don't obviously wanna say " your partners are low-key toxic and abit abusive and I don't want them at my table or in my life for the most part and although I love you bro(/platonic) I do not want living blowfish at my table that you might not even speak to tomorrow.".

Obviously I wouldn't word it like that but mainly I just plan on saying "Ive never dmed before and I'm nervous about the functionality of my campaign so I want to keep my party nice, small and intimate and only between you, me and my partner for now. Maybe we can incorporate them later." Without mentioning all the... Other stuff and side stepping if he's like "but what if just mel/rue?". Me, my partner and him have been friends awhile so it's not like he'll feel like he's third wheeling or anything and I get he wants his partners to take in his interest, I just do not want them at my table and I wanna know if I'm a dick if I dont specify why and avoid the question. I dont wanna rock the boat and hurt my friends feelings but I'm not gonna ruin the first full run of my pet project so a passive aggressive asshole and a know it all almost abuser can participate. He deserves to know why his partners can't join and I'm not technically lieing, even if they were cool, I don't know if I'd want them there. But they definitely aren't cool and that just seals the coffin for me.

(obviously I'm wording this in a comedic way but everything here actually happened and I mostly just wanna focus on supporting my friend despite his choices. I do not have to like his partners to tolerate them but it's my table and my years of work, if i dont want them there, they dont get to be there. I'm just wondering if I'm a dick for kinda lieing kinda not if I don't give the actual reasons for why I don't want them at my table and never plan on allowing them there. I would happily accommodate 1 or 2 more people at my table in this case if they were close to me like my sister or older brother but I dont know his partners well at all and even though they are passive to me, I dont feel safe around people like that. Wibta?)

What are these acronyms?

[iaus]

dd campaign recaps: intro

okay so since i'm in a Mood i'm going to do some more detailed summaries of my past sessions...... i think it will also be helpful for me (refresh the horrible memory and all that).

i have a few different gigantic documents of notes for my parties. i'll do a few screenshots because i think it's fun to share my DM notes, but i'll mostly just be doing a narrative summary i think.

anyway.

this campaign did start out with a few other characters/players who due to scheduling issues, interest, personal events, etc etc have dropped out since then. but i was very upfront with all my players that i had anticipated this and it's part of the reason why we started this campaign with 7 players.

we're now down to a manageable 3 (and remaria actually didn't even participate in this first arc!) where i have some DM NPCs to balance the party out.

(their roster of DM NPCs is growing, but i think i will always be limiting them to taking 1 or 2 on their excursions.)

the other funny thing is that this campaign did start out with the intention of doing a dungeon crawl but has settled into more role-play and puzzles. (one of our sessions in the estate had an enemy that literally just threw riddles at them for a little bit.)

but. to start out.

the premise has been these new adventurers are answering an advertisement that offers housing, riches, and community to those who take their advertisement to the local train station.

20th of uktar:

our first session had clem, alula, a few now dropped PCs, and chiara on a train alone. after passing through a tunnel, however, they all end up in the same train car. they all had a moment introducing each other and freaking out.

the train ride continued as normal until the reached the end of the line.

the party arrives at a seemingly abandoned run-down town. they explore a bit and find that it seems there are no longer any occupants except for a coach driver by the name of virgil. the party enters the rundown coach and clem sits up front with virgil asking about the history of the forest.

virgil tells clem about how this place is called the mournweald and that it used to be home to elves. legend has it that the elves that lived here turned into trees. as the coach continues along the old road, successful perception and helping virgil with vehicle checks keeps it so the party successfully avoids combat with what appears to be some sort of undead hounds.

they arrive at the estate and are introduced to kolyah de vaux, heir and lord of the estate. she seems pleased that the party has arrived and begins to give the party some background on what they will be doing and what to expect.

the short of it is: if the party goes into the estate and collects supplies, specific items kolyah asks for, and clears out enemies that they will be handsomely compensated and given free room and board.

as this explanation is happening, undead begin to swarm the hamlet from the direction of the estate. a giant carrion bird called the shrieker swoops down and takes kolyah.

the party hears screaming and the sounds of creatures and ready for combat. a few veteran adventurers join in the combat: an elf named audrey, a bugbear named bigby, a dwarf named barristan, a plague doctor named bulli, along with a leonin named reynauld.

during the battle the orc baker, yuri, and his monk husband (?), feu, also join in the fight to defend their bakery.

the party decides to pursue the bird during combat while the leaving a good portion of the swarming undead to veteran adventurers. luckily, they manage to kill the shrieker before it can take kolyah to the estate.

kolyah is freed, the rest of the undead are slain (after the veteran adventurers... have a lot of trouble with one of the shadow mastiffs....), and kolyah is incredibly grateful to the party.

she offers to pay for room and board and tells the party that she will be calling on them again because the appearance of these undead implies that there might be a necromancer within the estate...

[starstrvckfool]

We haven't gotten any updates on Qiang and company's journey recently :0 , What's going on with you all!

Ok so it has been a while since I've updated you guys (reason being the DM and players have been very busy with personal activities for school and stuff)

BUT I will update you on what happened last few sessions :3

Part 1

So qiang ended up going to the apeling village and founded out that it was refurbished and turned into a full blown KINGDOM of course we look around and the ground finds out there's a fruit festival going back on

Time skip a bit later where important stuff happens, qiang confronts the imposter and finds its actually LiuYin! (Liuyin is a mimick half apeling! 🫶) Who you guessed it is the macaque of the group, LiuYin explains that after a big fire they didn't know what to do because the kingdom was really panicked so they took qiangs place expecting to only do it for a couple of days and then go back to normal life, but those days ended up turning to year's.

Qiang is understanding towards this answer, we get introduced to a new character called MeiGuei (I think that's how her name is spelled I forgor) who looks rather not like a monkey, or she does but she just doesn't fit in with the rest. But qiang doesn't think anything of it because his romantic partner liuyin is quite literally a half and half of two species anyways so she isn't judgey.

Liuyin has qiang promise not to tell his friends that they were the imposter this whole time, qiang doesn't break this promise and agrees

Liuyin puts on a disguise and Upon them getting introduced to qiangs friends they're rather friendly except jinli, he's kinda thinking everything is really sketchy.

Fast forward to more important plot points, qiang doesn't know how to properly give a speech as king (he hasn't been at the kingdom in 20 year's since he was a prince so he didn't exactly learn alot about being a proper king) so liuyin ends up doing it but UH OH the group spots the imposter and guess what they didn't know it was liuyin So jinli and shichen go to investigate when they go to the festival banquet.

They both leave qiang and go to investigate and end up confronting the imposter, jinli attacks and when qiang catches up he sees the whole thing and tried to break the two apart, this goes sorta fine until qiangs parents come up, liuyin not wanting to get caught being an imposter apologises to qiang in monkey chatter before running off. Qiangs parents see the group and ask qiang what happened because they heard a struggle. The group tries to lie but also explain what they heard at the same time and man our roles were SO BAD BUDDY HAHEJF they didn't believe any of us so they told qiang to go leave to take care of the banquet while they dealt with jinli and shichen, qiang can't talk back to his parents because *COUGH* LORE so she has to agree, again apologizing to jinli and shichen before leaving the hall.

At this point jinli and shichen are pissed at qiang, they don't exactly trust her very much anymore and feel hurt.

So the parents put jinli and shichen in jail, and while that happened qiang got to feel guilty about his actions and slow dance with his lover

And then we left off at a cliffhanger.

Ok part 2

Shichen and jinli are not having a good time in jail, jinli is pissed off swearing he's gonna kill qiang when he gets his hands on him while shichen is like, "please don't do that, I'm made just as you are but it's important fornthe journey"

So they end up talking for a bit until shichen as the idea to explain to the guards they're situation in hopes they'll let them go. After some explaining and some pretty good rolls, they're convinced so jinli and shichen end up out of the prison, YIPPE

Back with qiang, he's having a nice time but again is ridden with guilt especially when tang asked where the others are and qiang just says,"oh they're around" and manages to get qiang to believe him because he's a very gullible monk. It gets late and liuyin says they're going to sleep at a different place while qiang can sleep in his room now since he's back.

Qiang goes to his room and finds that some things are different, on the dresser there are letters but he doesn't wanna read them since they could be private, he senses something in the closet and looks in, previously liuyin kept a magical shadow cloak in the closet but it turns out it was gone which she found pretty strange. And lastly the bed, qiang senses a giant illusion spell on it which is really weird, he manages to dispell it and reveals a small hall of stairs that go up yo the roof, upon going up shichen and jinli manages to catch up with qiang.

All of them question alot of things and qiang goes up the stairs and they follow.

They hear two voices, liuyin in his real form and a new voice, she sounds cold and stern somebody the group has seen before (we theorize that it's the lady bone demon 👀) LiuYin is talking to the demon as if they're negotiating something or the demon is the boss of liuYin. They also stole a red magical sash which is an important artifact the group stole from yin and Jin that bailong seems very protective of. When the two leave shichen and jinli immediately want to investigate and stuff but qiang accidentally let's a sentence slips out which gives away liuYins secret

"Personally I don't want you guys tackling my partner to the floor-"

"Your partner?!"

So yeah they very much want an explanation, and shichen tells qiang that if they have to fight liuyin they will and qiang has to be either with them or Against (ouch)

They go to the hotel to explain things to tang and bailong and then go to the library and that's where liuyin is inna disguise, but because they've already seen this disguise jinli attacks. jinli resorts to violence and because liuyin doesn't like randomly getting tackled it ends up scratching jinlis face which does alot of damage (jinli now has a scar) qiang gets between them and asks liuyin to explain the situation because everybody needs answers.

We find out that liuyin is working for the demon we heard (not against their will tho it's for a different reason that I can't remember but it's not a bad reason dw) liuyin does NOT like qiangs friends anymore and constantly throughout the session asks qiang if he's sure he wants to continue on this journey

Part 3

It's now the middle of the night so they have no choice but to rest up, we all roll and it ends up with qiang and shichen have nightmares while jinli slept like a baby. Wonderful!

In the morning theyre all feeling very tense, there's a feeling of distrust anxiety and worry in the group, they know today is the day to leave so because jinli and shichen are still wanted criminals, tang goes up to liuyin (who's back disguised as qiang) and asks for a pardon, meanwhile shichen sees a magical cloak and BUM BUM it's a voidwalker and it's wearing the magical shadow cloak that went missing. Shichen holds the voidwalker up to make sure it doesn't get away and qiang is close enough to see what's happening and then

It goes into the shadows WITH shichen, meaning shichen is now MISSING. Qiang is already stress out as it is so now she's even more stressed, qiang tells jinli so they both along with bailong end up looking for shichen and he ended up in a tree (shichen is very fearful of going up trees and isn't the best at climbing) qiang does a little "dw guys I'll help him down" and climbs up there easily to try and get shichen down, but jinli just gets the BEST IDEA to get them down, the shake the tree.

In the end only qiang got knocked down due to a very high roll by shichen, but by the second time the big blue lion ended up coming down, and bailong caught him so HORRAY!

when they finally get shichen tang id being escorted to the group by liuYin and MeiGuei, which they all realize they can leave and continue their journey.

Qiang is very hesitant to leave but knows she has too, so saying his goodbyes in monkey chatter to liuyin they say one final message for qiang

"don't let the other's get you in trouble"

Qiang just nods and after that they CONTINUE THEY'RE JOURNEY WESTWARDS ‼️‼️

and that concludes the apeling kingdom, I was meant to make many drawings based off it but i got sidetracked with school and OC work aswell as me being hyperfixated on LMK but ya that's what happened

[immortalarizona]

hi! i’m curious about how you’re characterizing buppido in your OotA game—in my experience playing and planning to DM, i’ve had trouble connecting with him and figuring out how to make his twist surprising and impactful.

also if you have any similar thoughts for shuushar, that’s another blorbo i don’t know how to make compelling lol

I'm soooooo flattered to have gotten this ask from you!!!! first off, I would like to apologize if this is largely incoherent; I have spent a solid seven (7) of the past 24 hours playing two different D&D sessions, both of them pretty brutal combats. this is gonna be a loooooong post, so my answer is under the cut :]

also, if anyone reading this post happens to be one of my players going snooping for my blog, STOP READING NOW.

okay cool

I'll start each character section with a quick description I wrote for myself on each of their personalities (or my interpretations of them, at least).

Buppido

Buppido Diirdeklin is surprisingly talkative and friendly given the situation everyone is in. In fact, he doesn’t seem to be afraid of anything, diving into even the thick of battle with his perpetual, almost uncanny cheer. He seems to be very devoted to some deity unknown to non-derro, as after every battle, he kneels over the bodies of any enemy he has slain and appears to pray in silence for a few seconds. Buppido’s faith is the only subject which he remains reticent about, but he will happily engage in discussions of almost anything else with anyone else. He claims a desire to return to his people in Gracklstugh in order to help liberate them from their lives as second-class citizens under the duergar.

basically, how I saved Buppido thus far was through a lot of guilt-tripping the player characters and using what I knew of them (only what I reasonably figured he would know at this point; he's not secretly omniscient like Jimjar so there's only so much meta knowledge I can apply) to manipulate them. the angle I'm taking is that he wants something objectively good (for the derro to not be treated like dogshit) but is going about it in The most fucked up way possible (ritual murder because he think it'll give him back his divine power, which he can then use to fucking obliterate the duergar and free his people). he is very polite and has this veneer of kindness with which he treats the people he's manipulating. he will say whatever it takes to get the person he's talking to on his side, regardless of whether he actually believes it (but I do think it's more interesting if he genuinely believes he's doing the right thing). as an example of this in action, here's a copy of the monologue he gave the rogue when she was like "hey dude, I'm getting Real Bad Vibes from you, what's up." keep in mind that she is a tiefling.

"I heard what Kzekarit said to you a few nights back--so I trust that you will understand what it means to be judged solely on the basis of your blood. The duergar"--he almost spits the name--"have given us many names, none of them fit for polite company. Even our name in Undercommon comes from their word for 'derelict.' The audacity, when it is them that have forced us to live in the streets--if they allow us to live at all!" Buppido's voice has steadily been raising in volume this entire time, and he has to take a moment to catch his breath after that. When he continues, his voice is quieter, but no less passionate. "I have lived a long time. But I am blessed beyond measure. I am the exception. I am what is known among my people as a savant--one who has manifested magical powers. We are respected, yes, but. . . magic changes you. I have seen. . . things. . . in the shadows that I can never unsee. Things much worse than intellect devourers." His grip on his staff, which he is currently using as a walking stick, trembles, and he closes his eyes. "I have to believe that it was worth it. If I don't deliver us. . . no one will." He looks up at Promise again. "Do you understand now, little thief?" he asks, but it's not a question. It's a plea.

(for context, Sarith called the rogue "demonspawn" before promising that he would not hesitate to stab her if he saw a reason to do so when she asked where his loyalties lay.)

similarly, Buppido appealed to the ranger's sense of sympathy/pity with an excuse about nightmares and not entirely being himself when he woke up from one, which is why he tried to stab the twins. this was a bit of metagaming on my part, but the ranger is haunted by nightmares despite not sleeping (drow moment). it worked, and when the ranger had a mini emotional breakdown, Buppido then appealed to his sympathies further by patting the ranger's hand and saying that he would hug him, but he is not very tall, and his poor back can only take so much strain. the ranger then kneeled down, cast cure wounds to help Buppido's back pain, and gave him a hug. Buppido thanked the ranger for giving him another chance (as he had similarly given Sarith another chance) and told the ranger that he has a "good heart" and to "never change." (what he really meant was "you're so fucking easy to manipulate and I would prefer for that to not change.")

so, y'know. a lot of Manipulate Mansplain Manslaughter, with a side of Moral Complexity. like, man's a fucking serial killer, but he also has an ultimate goal which my party at least seems to empathize with. as for the emotional impact, you really only get as much out of the reveal as your players put into the character during the lead-up. my party has a Massive found family dynamic going already (Topsy has already sarcastically called the ranger, who she accidentally bit by the way, "dad," to give you a sense of how things are going), and Buppido fits right in as a sort of grandpa figure. he will find the most emotionally vulnerable PCs, worm his nasty little way into their hearts through false displays of kindness, and try to drive a wedge between them and any other characters who see through him. (I suggest giving him expertise in Deception. it feels appropriate.)

Shuushar

Shuushar the Awakened claims to have spent a lifetime in contemplation and solitary meditation in order to overcome his people’s legacy of madness, and it shows in the aura of enlightened calm he exudes despite the horrors he has suffered during his imprisonment. Nothing seems to be able to drive him to anger, and he is utterly unafraid to die for his belief in peace and goodness. He is always happy to offer tidbits of wisdom to those who ask for them, and also to those who don’t. Shuushar hopes to return to his hometown of Sloobludop in order to share his enlightenment with his fellow kuo-toa, as well as anyone else he encounters along the way.

Shuushar,,, drives my players a little bit insane, and I definitely haven't been utilizing his full potential (the players have been mostly fixated on Sarith, the twins, and the cleric NPC I brewed up to replace Eldeth). I've mostly been using him as a vehicle for foreshadowing through what I call Shuushar Stories. he's just. the Worst Fucking Storyteller and it's delightful to write, actually. here are two of the ones I feel contribute most to his characterization:

#1: Darklake Hag

“Yeah, so when they threw me out of Sloobludop, they didn’t even give me a boat, so I had to steal one. Or I was planning to, but then my friend Bloppdagadil snuck out after me to give me her spare boat and also a bag of crawlers. They weren’t fresh, but it was still a great gesture. What a gal. . . Shame the merrows got her. Nasty surprise when the fishermen I was traveling with pulled bits of her out of the Lake in their nets. . . Anyways, yeah, so I was traveling in Bloppdagadil’s boat when suddenly, I’m stuck on a sandbar! So I get out and try to push the boat back into the water when this weird green lady appears out of nowhere and asks me if I want to make a deal with her—I think it was for infinite wisdom or something. I told her, ‘No thanks, I’m good,’ and I push the boat back into the water. Enlightenment is more about the journey than the destination, really, and it wouldn’t mean anything if I didn’t earn it. . . The boat got caught in a whirlpool a few days later. I think it was the green lady’s fault. She said goodbye very ominously.” 

the key takeaways from this one are these:

the Darklake is dangerous, and Shuushar exists in a world where it's just Normal for people to die. you accept it. you move on. it is what it is.

he believes in the journey over the destination. the end does not justify the means.

he has a strong moral code and refuses temptation at every turn (you could play with this in your own campaign depending on how well your players take to him).

he is just a Weird-Ass Guy (affectionate).

foreshadowing for the green hag in the Darklake which I'm gonna present as an option to save Sarith (but at a COST, mwahahahaha).

#2: Funny Story, I Was Exiled

“I will warn you that I didn’t leave Sloobludop on the best of terms, really. Everyone was always moving, moving, moving with the land currents, but I just wanted to stand still for a minute. Ploopploopeen didn’t like that. He didn’t like that at all. . . Oh, Ploopploopeen? He was the archpriest of the Sea Mother—had just been promoted, and his first act was to tell me to never come back. Said I was a ‘bad influence’ or something, and that his daughter would get the wrong idea, watching me. . . I’m not mad about it. Love and fear, together, are a strange thing, and either one alone can drive people to do things they know in their hearts are wrong. Tost about by unseen currents. . . I wonder if he remembers me. I want him to know that I forgave him a long time ago.”

what this monologue was meant to convey:

foreshadowing, mostly. tryna set up Ploopploopeen's motives a bit better than in the module.

Shuushar has hidden depths! he's not some dumbass stoner (though I do try to portray him like he's constantly high, because I think it's funny), he has philosophy! and compassion! and an incredible ability to forgive those who have wronged him! he's a genuinely good dude!

the delivery of these really helped his character come across, tbh. (these ones were given during the session proper, not between via text chatting.) he's just spacey and--not monotone, exactly, but very level in his tone. he's calm. he's unshakeable. maybe your players will appreciate that, or maybe they'll find him annoying and want to stuff a rag into his mouth to get him to Shut Up. (and even that in itself can become compelling; I think we've got a bit of an in-joke developing that We Don't Let Shuushar Tell Stories.)

thanks for the ask, and I really hope this helped!! it was delightful getting to ramble about my own devious machinations, and I would be happy to chat further about my takes on each of the NPCs if you so desire :D

[miodiodavinci]

omg i get so excited hearing about dnd!!!! how many campaigns have you been in if u mind answering?

i don't mind at all ! ! ! ! i enjoy talking about dnd ! ! ! ! our group got together in 2020 has run a total of (counts on fingers) 6 campaigns and 5 one shots, with our average campaign length being around 20 to 30 sessions. each person's taken a shot at DM'ing thus far, but the forever DM and i have both run about four of those each w

also, outside of one or two one shots, it's all been exclusively homebrew ! ! ! which is fun because we've all gotten to create our own regions and design overarching lore that connects each campaign to the other ! ! ! (surprisingly, hannus barbarous is usually the connecting factor. we did not plan this but that's just how it is now KJSFLKJH)

and because i love talking about dnd so much i'm taking this opportunity to dump a whole lot of summary of each campaign/one shot in chronological order under the cut w

ON A SCALE of ONE to TWENTY .. campaign

After being shut off from the world for over a hundred years, the region of Celosia finally opens its doors, sending out an open letter to all would-be adventurers asking for help. Our party just so happened to be the fools who decided to answer (and who got lucky enough to not get eaten by wolves on the way there), and have been tasked with taking down the shadowy Emerald Division that has seemingly come to power. They'll get to it as soon as they visit the dump (it's on the way).

Our DM's first homebrew campaign and the result of all of us being stuck inside and realizing we finally had time to play together w. This was the origin of both Hannus Barbarous as a running gag (along the lines of "this is JUST like Thomas and Jeremiah") and the name Scott as a throwaway bit, and also the origin of "The Coolest Emerald Division" title w

Characters

Roachcock the Tiefling Barbarian (played by me) .. bastard at heart, just wants to split heads, get coin, and buy a boat

Babey Möd the Halfling-Tabaxi Cleric (played by @anonprotagging) .. here to eat gravy and spread the good word of Lyra

The Storm the Water Genasi Barbarian .. he's super famous dude just trust me i heard he once fought like thirty turkeys

In'hala the Tiefling Paladin of Pan .. looking for her lost moms and also stealing this guy's boots hahaaa sick

Opus Whitfield the Human Wild Magic Sorcerer .. trying to use this opportunity to set up a new storefront for his family's gem cutting business, is actually using this opportunity to get bullied

note: i don't know if the other players use tumblr so for now they'll just be identified as "Xs player" from here on out w

GRANNY'S COUNTRY APPLE PIE .. one shot

An aging wizard wishes to taste the sweet delight of Granny's Country Apple Pie™ one last time (despite the bakery closing decades ago) and thus tasks our heroes with scoping out the place and seeing if they can find a recipe. Somewhere along the way, things got weird and it turns out Granny was just an immortal 65 year old who was taking a vacation in the outer planes with her wife but she's back now :)

Pre-built one shot that very quickly went off the rails, as to be expected for my very first go at being a DM after being a player for less than 4 months. The first appearance of Hannus as an actual character and not just a running bit.

Characters

Hannus Barbarous the Half-Orc playwright and Bard (played by @anonprotagging) .. he's taking a break from his prestigious play writing career to see the sights and reconnect with the little piece of him that was shattered when his troupe broke apart (but not too much of a break not to sign every autograph he can eyyy)

Sir the Eternal Flame (and sorcerer i guess) (played by Opus's player) .. still frustrated at being locked in human form, this giant immortal moth is off doing busy work until his curse wears off (which apparently includes bakery heists???)

Tehn the Sun Elf Ranger (played by the Celosia campaign DM) .. with their giant bumblebee Spoobin and frankly obscene lack of dietary standards at their side, there's no meal that they can't tackle

THE OSSIFIED GARDENS .. mini campaign

Taking shelter from the rain in an unearthly structure, the gang is snatched away from the physical realm and into a crab bucket-like hotel for the fae. With their most prized possessions taken from them as an entry fee, the gang has to endure arduous tasks to receive the stamps of each of the five Managers in order to receive audience with the minor god who runs the establishment. Whether or not she'll be willing to give their possessions back, however...

My first solo campaign as a DM!! Heavily inspired by Spirited Away and mostly an excuse to put old game dev content to use (including a literal circus of NPCs), but ended up serving as an important event in the Hannus Barbarous lore.

Characters

Hannus Barbarous the Half-Orc playwright and Bard (played by @anonprotagging) .. on the road with Tehn to visit a trinket faire in the next town over, about to experience beginning of a long and scalding beef with a petty minor god

Tehn the Sun Elf Ranger (played by the Celosia campaign DM) .. Hannus and Tehn are best friends now—they're having soft tacos later! :)

Piers the Minotaur Cleric (played by Opus's player) .. he's just along for the ride—maybe there will be cool books! :oooo

Tess the Halfling Rogue (played by In'hala's player) .. laying low until the folks in charge of her latest warrant lose track of her (and by laying low i mean just stealing at waist height instead of top shelves)

ROLL to PHOTOBOMB .. campaign

A seemingly normal winter festival goes astray when our heroes poor fools accidentally soul-bond to an extraplanar device meant to be a birthday present for the renowned sculptor hosting the ball (spoilers: it's a camera). They have four months to take it north to Cobalt City, get the re-calibration redone, and get it back in time for her wife to give it to her for their anniversary. The only problem is, the mountain pass is closed and the only other way there is a several hundred mile road trip by wagon...

Time to take some photos in front of some kitschy roadside attractions, I guess.

Opus's player's first time DM'ing for our group (though they'd DM'd before, and frankly—their experience shows). This campaign was home to some of our most beloved NPCs like Cassidy the subterranean super organism, Barry the extraplanar knife slime, and Sir the Eternal Flame Moth (he got that curse figured out finally!)

Characters

Fafnir of the Boreal North, the human knight Mimic Berserker (played by me) .. they just wanted to leave their dungeon to find a better, damper place to sit and eat and somehow accidentally took part in the funniest case of mistaken identity this side of Alcione

Ranger Rain Rainer the human Ranger (and literal park ranger, played by @anonprotagging) .. originally here to supervise the environmental impacts of the ball on the local landscape, now soul-bound to an extraplanar camera and havin' a good ol' time hangin' with the boys :) y'want some soy sauce with that? i bought a gallon back in brass junction

Kit the Elven Ranger (played by Tehn's player) .. legitimately so traumatized he wraps back around to being the most normal person in this group—just don't mention Celestine Grove

Babu the Hobgoblin Artificer (played by the Storm's player) .. having been separated from his parents and raised by Kobolds, Babu, his steel defender Babu, and his clockwork creation Little Babu are on a long journey to reunite with them in Grand Arbor .. please do not look at him he's sensitive

THE GREAT COCKATRICE RACE .. one shot

It's that time of year—the Great Cockatrice Race is upon us!! But just as our party is soaking in the sights and staking out the perfect spot to watch, they witness a young tiefling have his cockatrice's racing gear shredded by a local gang. Desperate to win so he can help pay to treat his father's worsening eyesight (they're cartographers by trade), he asks the party for help, and they quickly oblige.

Another one shot run by me, based loosely on a one-page campaign document. Not much to say about this one beyond the fact that everyone was ready to kill for Noodles the bantam cockatrice.

Characters

Actias Saturnid the Aasimar Paladin (played by @anonprotagging) .. on a quest to popularize his deity's chosen form of entertainment—tinker vision (TV for short)

Squish the Changeling Bard (played by Tehn's player) .. here to have fun and maybe also look for his friend that went missing have you seen her please tell me i miss her ;_____;

Kai the ??? Swashbuckling Rogue (played by Opus's player) .. it's a big festival, and that means plenty of eyes and plenty of cash! not a half bad time to try negotiating some new patrons for her artist friends

TROUBLE at PORT MANDRET .. one shot

What was originally supposed to be the 58th annual showcase of Umbergate University's horticultural collection is turned sour as an incensed former professor unleashes a powerful awakening spell on the entire town. With only a few hours before the plants release spores that will spread the spell to the entire world, our party has to act fast and cooperate with a local mycologist who seems to know just the fix to this predicament.

Another one shot from me, this time entirely homebrewed! This is also the origin of Scott as a character and not just a throwaway bit, and very much the source of his dynamic with Hannie. They found him tangled up in a bunch of kudzu in a coffee shop and he sent them on a long fetch quest to help him make a cup of coffee using stolen coffee beans.

Characters

Hannus Barbarous the Half-Orc playwright and bard (you know his player by now w) .. you know, he was just trying to lay low after the whole "committing arson" thing, but now he has a gay little mushroom twink to look after and that's (????)

Tehn the Sun Elf Ranger (played by you know who w).. also laying low after helping Hannus commit arson, but mostly here to eat a bunch of plants when no one's looking

Hank the Aarakocra Barbarian (played by Opus's player) .. he's a goose who only says "HANK" and i love that so much about him

Quinn the literal, unawakened, plain old animal tiger and Rogue (played by the Storm's player) .. the reason Hannus and Tehn committed arson after discovering she was being kept in squalid conditions by a wealthy family .. i cannot stress enough that she is a literal, un-enchanted tiger

THE ENIGMA of DAHL CREEK .. campaign

Their boat having sank in a storm, the party washes up on a seemingly once populous island now drowning under webs of unidentifiable blue-green vines and the eerily human-like shapes it creates. Working to unravel the mystery of how the entire town disappeared one August day, they find the past and present blurring together in a strange and haunting way.

The Celosia campaign DM's next big campaign, and frankly the one that haunts me most to this day. I cannot put into words how fucking good this campaign was. Legitimately gave me chills and occupies a region of my brain that cannot be vacated.

Characters

Hannus Barbarous (you know him) .. just trying to recover from the fae thing and the tiger incident and then the Port Mandret fiasco and really doesn't need this right now (but deal he will)

Biscott Cortinarius the human mycologist and Necromancer (played by me) .. putting a little distance between himself and the university due to the ""legal ramifications of interviewing university property without familial consent,"" but mostly sticking with Hannus because he's a bard and... well... bards aren't exactly beefy are they ;)

The Destitution of Mires the Lizardfolk Circle of Spores Druid (played by the Storm's Player) .. to this day i still don't know what their deal was, only that they sensed and so they came, and they left just as easily

Theo the ??? Circle of Dreams Druid (played by Opus's player) .. wanted to get out there and see the world, managed to sneak onto the one and Only boat that shipwrecked that day, now paying for it dearly

TIDECLEFT ISLES .. campaign

When the great Captain Wicke died, he arranged in his will that his treasure was to be given to the pirates of Tidecleft—so long as they could find it. Having arranged a massive, death-defying posthumous treasure hunt, several teams (including our heroes) must now compete to locate Wicke's treasure if they want to claim it all for themselves. What the late captain has in store for them, however, may call the worth of the treasure into question.

The Storm's player's first time DM'ing for our group, but not his first time DM'ing by far (read: he was Tehn's player's forever DM long before he came to our group). This was a grand old romp around a bunch of islands and sea caves that culminated in a frankly off-the-walls batshit final battle.

Characters

Acanthus of the Western Isles, the Mano (shark man) Scholar (played by me) .. a doctor and academic seeking to pay off a massive debt he incurred thanks to the Silver Lampreys and their web of loan sharks .. he doesn't care for jokes... or laughing, or puns, or metaphorical language or

Lemon the Warforged Circle of Stars Druid (played by @anonprotagging) .. realized she's accrued like twenty years in paid time off from working as a docent in an observatory, now taking her first vacation with her best friend Owen Gnome :) (he's a garden gnome she found outside and decided to keep in her pocket) (may or may not be venomous)

Bellamy the ??? ??? (played by Opus's player) .. ever grateful to the squid trawlers that took him in, he's competing in this hunt to earn enough to turn their venture into a franchise .. he is shockingly normal despite the whole "may not be from this plane" thing

Rayin the Tiefling Storm Sorcerer (played by Tehn's player) .. having received that sweet sweet "got hit by a magical explosion on campus" money and gotten magical powers out of it, Rayin is ditching academia to do COOL things like throw lightning bolts and meow at people

these character descriptors are getting long sorry

MIETTE SIMULATOR .. one shot

Somehow, our band of unfortunate souls has wandered into a town caught in a frenzy, raving for the execution of a seemingly normal tiefling man for an unspeakable crime (literally, no one will say what it was). The gang decides to get to the bottom of this, only to discover the very laws of reality are essentially optional in this neck of the woods.

Hannus's player's first time DM'ing as a dry run for his future one shot, and it was a hoot. Also the first time we got to meet Ranger Rainer's brother, Shine Rainer (who is the polar opposite of his brother thanks to all the trauma that comes with being a record keeper).

Characters

Lark the Aasimar Gunslinger (played by me) .. just trying to do as many good deeds as possible to get her dad off her back so she can get a girlfriend without him scaring her off with his whole "incomprehensible being of holy light" thing

Clare the human ??? (played by Tehn's player) .. i don't remember why she was there she just was and she was probably the most okay with everything that was going on

Hank the Aarakocra Barbarian (played by Opus's player) .. he's playing it cool after the Port Mandret thing, except this is not cool this is chaos

MOON TOWN .. one shot

It's Actias! And he needs help! For some reason, they've been disconnected from their god, and they can't figure out why! When our heroes decide to help, they end up getting snatched away to an otherworldly version of the long abandoned Sun Town and need to solve the mystery of a long cold case in order to find their way back home.

Hannus's player's main group DM'ing debut. Full of fun puzzles and good laughs (I'll never forget Actias asking us for help with a puzzle and showing us one of those shapes and holes boxes you give to kids) with plenty of throwbacks to old running gags. Felt like a nice homage to what DnD had been for us thus far.

Characters

Calamund Galbraith the Reborn Echo Fighter (played by me) .. a completely average guy who just so happened to get roped into getting "engaged" to a wraith that now endlessly pursues him .. he just really wants to go home and eat soup with his birds

Squish the Changeling Bard (played by Tehn's player) .. really worried for his good friend Actias :(

Tiel Alleywollow the Halfling Warlock (played by the Storm's player) .. a girl of few words (literally, she only speaks when casting spells) and eternally fond of her fiendish patron, an asshole imp named Dition

In'hala the Tiefling Paladin of Pan (played by the same guy as before w) .. hit her head on a ship and somehow ended up far, far south of Celosia. who knows what happened? certainly not in'hala, but EYYY SHE STILL HAS THE SICK BOOTS YEAAA

Teller Artax the Warforged Gunslinger (played by Opus's player) .. originally out to hunt down his lost creator, but got sidetracked, and then got sidetracked from that sidetrack, and then got sidetracked from that sidetrack's sidetrack, and then

THE CURIOUS CASE of ACTON RIDGE .. campaign

50 years before the events of Dahl Creek, a similar event is taking place—after a shoot out in the canyon, the town of Acton Ridge is also carpeted in strange, blue-green vines and locked in time. Our heroes must unravel the mystery of their pasts and the two intertwined fates of a pair of brilliant inventors who were seemingly on the hunt for something not of this world. Ongoing!

The Celosia DM's latest campaign and prequel to Dahl Creek. A little different vibes from the last one considering most of us apparently lived here before things went to shit, and many of us have tie-ins with the events taking place. Cool, eerie mystery fun ! ! !

Characters

Outis the Warforged Paladin (played by me) .. an archaic tour guide emissary from the Feywilds who's trapped on an endless journey towards an unseen destination .. it's sassy as hell and just the right amount of british to be infuriating

Emeril the Sea Elf chef and Fighter (played by @anonprotagging) .. retired from being a soldier and running from his past to owning a small tavern (and running from his past) .. very blunt (like his cast iron frying pan)

Spinifer the ??? Bard and travel-book writer (played by Opus's player) .. looking for the scoop on the local scene in hopes of bringing more folks over from her homeland .. common isn't her first language and she delights in learning cool new words, like "paranormal" and "clusterfuck"

Phira the Deep Gnome Monster Hunter (played by the Storm's player) .. haunted by her past and now interested in that which is haunted, this little conspiracy theorist is going to get to the bottom of this mystery if it's the last thing she does (but not actually—she'd like to live you know)