#oughhhh ough

[wheelercore]

Mike, Victor, Fred, and Ted: weird murder/killing & PTSD subtext

Now that I have been thinking Too Much about Fred, I am interested in the "holding the mirror up" aspect of it.

We see them intentionally show Fred's reflection on the grandfather clock

Which the camera angle in which this was done reminds me SO MUCH of how they reflected Victor in the bathwater where the spiders were.

Also notice when Victor was arrested it was against the same wall the grandfather clock stands against-it actually might be there within frame on the right but that also might be a doorway- I'm not sure. Looks like its probably a doorway but the clock is somewhere around there.

You also have the fire similarity between Fred's vision and Victors:

The similarity being: murderer

They both feel and intense amount of guilt for what they have done- however both was an accident. Victor, I think, pretty obviously has PTSD and Fred might have also. We'll get to this later.

They also do the same reflection into the grandfather clock with Henry- right as he uses his powers for the first and it immediately cuts to him killing a rabbit.

Also the rainbow being ~~gay~~ but also may I say it might also be a reference to Henrys future killings in the Rainbow Room.

The thing that interests me is why the grandfather clock is associated with 'murderer'? In fact it's what is associated with Henry's powers, which is what he then uses to kill his family and the kids in the rainbow room. We also see the clock presents most of the time as jutting out of trees (Chrissy- reference to Nancy in s1) and walls (Patrick and Max)- which are places we've seen be associated with a breach in the barrier between the UD and RSU. As if the clock is forcing it's way from the UD to the RSU- like we see repeatedly UD beasts do.

So in a sense the symbolism works like this:

Clock -> breaching the barrier between the UD and RSU -> akin to UD monsters -> the UD monsters being a mirror/reflection of humanity's predatory nature -> predator defined as "preys on the weak" -> mentions of various famous killers (Freddy Krueger, Michael Meyers, and Ted Bundy- all in the same episode by the way).

Its especially interesting that Fred is a mix of Mike and Ted:

(Mikes s3 scar and Ted's glasses. Again, all in the same episode.)

Mind you, they make a whole circle of character-murderer references: Victor is compared to Michael Meyers, Eddie (not a murderer but was witness to one and is later accused) is compared to Ted Bundy (both names are short of Edward also), and I believe Vecna/Henry is compared to Freddy Krueger at some point also.

To add to this, the topic of PTSD is also something shared, I believe, between Fred, Victor, Mike, and Ted (and also most likely Henry but I haven't really looked into any specific uses of symbolism, name games, etc etc im lazy).

I believe I saw @aemiron-main mention previously about how it seemed that Victor had gained weight over the course of the Creel sequences given to us. While neither Victor nor Henry, I believe, are inclined to mention how much Victor had been eating once he was triggered by the Vecna visions so we don't necessary see any explicit confirmation of it, to me in a round-about way its supported by Ted's eating habits particularly in s2 and how that ties back to Victor since they're paralleled in this sense.

(Em, you're the resident expert on Victor so feel free to add anything on here related to this if you would like to. I'm sure you have much more coherent things/proof to say about this than I do when it comes to Victor haha).

In Henry's monologue (which is literally just the writers "spelling it out to us" as promised), he mentions eating as one of the distractions, ie just another way of describing coping mechanisms (heavy themes of mental illness/trauma all over the place in s4 as it relates to conformity and the metaphor behind Vecna).

In season 2 we hardly see Ted not eating/drinking (dinner scenes- obviously, doorbell scene with Dustin where he was holding a mug in his hand). Even in the opening scene he's the only person eating pringles (?) in the kitchen with Karen and Holly:

Even in the end of s1 he's apparently fallen asleep while eating out of a large bowl of popcorn.

Multiple times overeating is brought up with Karen angrily commenting that she hopes he's enjoying his chicken after we see her observe twice Ted not backing her up at the dinner table but rather just drinking/chewing (mind you this is all happening while discussion wills disappearance is going on, with the general consensus in the town being that Will was taken by a child abductor/murder- with Ted's See what happens? line being particularly interesting):

and Dustin jokingly putting an excessive amount of pancakes on his plate after Ted sarcastically tells him to "take us for all we're worth".

Hell, even the scene were Ted is holding a random donut in the church in s4- it's overeating/eating when its inappropriate, particularly doing a stressful moment, and again, this was related to the serial killings of Chrissy, Fred, and Patrick and how Eddie was scapegoated for it. Or Ted being the only person eating at Will's funeral, very obvious because he's the only one holding a plate. And these are only instances I remember off the top of my head.

Victor, while, again, we don't see as much of an association with food we do see him repeatedly get triggered over the course of the events shown to us. Victor describes his vecna visions as "living nightmares" which is a callback to Hopper and Joyce's conversation, again, in season 2:

Victors visions, unlike Virginia's, were intentionally very reminiscent of PTSD flashbacks. Victor was being repeatedly triggered all throughout the time of being "haunted" by this "demon".

Switching back around to Mike for a bit, we get the parallel in s4 to the s1 dinner scene, this time with Mike, who, unlike his father, is not eating very much. And Will, from the same vantage point as Karen in the s1 scene and like Karen, notices subtly:

Takes a similar sip of his drink when El storms off, similar to how Ted takes a sip of his drink both times when Nancy and Mike storm off. Honestly it would have been funny if Murray had made chicken risotto.

Regardless to get to my point, these can be signs of traumatic events happening in the past:

(x)

While again, it's hard to tell with Victor, because comparatively we don't see much of him, there are some subtle hints. Talking about being "moody":

Dr. Owens explicitly mentions "changes in personality" as a sign of PTSD to look out for.

There's the clothing parallel between Mike and Ted related to this in again, you guessed it, season 2:

Both are scenes in which they are acting pretty irritable and standoff-ish to someone. Mike being this way towards Max due to the trauma and guilt of watching El "die" at the end of s1, related to death- again like Victor and Fred, however Mike was not culpable although I suppose he may have felt that he had not done enough to save El.

We don't know what's up with Ted, but he was actually strangely in this scene- not hearing the incessant ringing of the doorbell or even noticing Karen out loud ask him to get the door judging from the fact that he says "I'll get it" as if he hadn't heard her. Karen seemed annoyed by this as if this has become a common occurrence in the last year or so. He seemed to have been intensely concentrated or more so distracted, obviously with a drink in his hand.

stranger things writers dot twitter are sooo correct s2 is underrated we love the PTSD season

Notice how both are all dressed up- projecting an image of having yourself together, "perfection", when you're really not. Reminds me of that scene of s1 where Mike is complains the tie is choking him, and Ted tells him that that's how its supposed to be. Symbolizing an excessive amount of control over oneself and ones emotions (choking oneself as symbolized by clothing), which is seen through various habits, e.g. overeating/lack of eating.

Now, last thing that's a bit of a tangent, but going all the way back to this theme of murderers and killing- e.g. Mike's survivor's guilt, the interesting parallel between Holly and Henry catch my attention. Both are described as "explorers". Henry after he looks into the grandfather clock and 'gains' his abilities:

I saw my parents as they truly were. They presented themselves as good, normal people. But like everything else in this world, it was a lie. A terrible lie. They had done terrible things, Eleven. Such awful things.

(Sorry I ran out of image space >.<)

After Holly witnesses the Demogorgon ("predator") almost come out of the wall, again like we see with the grandfather clock which is reflected on Fred (Ted+Mike), Karen describes her as an explorer- which is referenced back to Henry seeing his parents for who they truly were. Holly then also notices the flesh monster from the ferries wheel (UD "predator") but Karen and Ted tell her to ignore it and look at the pretty fireworks. We know Holly was at the pool when Karen was flirting with Billy there, however what "terrible", "awful" thing Ted had done in the past is still unknown.

Shortly after this in s3- Karen, Ted, and Holly become the family unit which is then indirectly described in the church scene as "a lie designed to hide a truth", with Karen and Ted's clothing paralleling Mike and El's from early s3 when they were being an annoyingly fake couple.

While Victors fate is almost obviously reminiscent of Oedipus (the whole eye gouging and all- falling into a fate that was one of his own doing when he accidentally murdered that family during the war)- Mike does also get two moments were he technically "blinds" himself all throughout s4: the sun glasses in the airport and the sensory deprivation glasses at that pizza place- a fate that more closely follows Oedipus: kill your father, become your father, and then marry your mother.

(the last one being a whole nother long post)

Anyways... what exactly happened in 1959?

[krytus]

baby ballister <3

[guppygiggles]

Careful what you wish for…

[lucasoliko]

Some doodles/sketches/stuff I did in class this week

[danizmomota]

HAPPY BDAY SILLY WOOD MAN!!!! 😋😋 (I’m two days late)

best day of his life,,,

[mofsblog]

Hhhhhh do you ever think about how there's a high chance the reason why Oscar got attached to Arthur so quickly is because he was lonely.

[koivoid]

they make me want to eat rocks

[minnaci]

i need to post abt kinich.... it is a Need not a want.....

[kheyys-worms]

There's so little content of him i'm actually gonna kms--

[macaroonkitti]

Taking a shot at future April...enjoy

Oh Donnie and Casey Jr are there too

[petrichormeraki]

i am thinking about the estimated 2-3 years after botw before totk. do you think link took a while to stop following zelda wherever she went, never letting her completely out of sight? do you think when zelda cut her hair she cried because her father wasn't there to tell her off for it? do you think zelda spent nights without sleeping, pouring over the history that had happened over the 100 years she was fighting? do you think link had some nights where he woke up in a cold sweat, hand already on his sword to fight the nightmare he already beat? do you think zelda spent the first week free constantly in link's arms, desperate for any kind of touch that wasn't hostile? do you think zelda took that long to explore the tunnels under hyrule castle because even looking at it filled her with so much grief it would swallow her whole? do you think they ever got used to the looks that came their way, as the fabled long-dead princess and her swordsman, back from the dead after 100 years? do you think they ever had to fight to be listened to, even after the century they spent dying and fighting for this world they saved, because they still looked like kids?

[ravetillyoucry]

PUPARIA

Chapter 12 - je t’aime ★ je t’aime

prev - chapter 1

The crisp autumnal air in the evening was perfectly warm, yet also cool and refreshing, and the best way to enjoy it was standing out on Teddy's balcony with a cigarette in hand.

Hosah leant over with his elbows against the fine railing, taking in the city sky line as the sun went down, all the twinkling lights of the incomprehensibly tall buildings coming to life in a similar fashion to stars which were no longer visible from the light pollution. It was a real shame, they were his favourite part of his childhood hometown.

Without warning, a much larger figure wrapped its arms around the shifter's bare waist, resting a chin on his shoulder as he'd done previously.

"One two three, that's enough for me," Teddy joked, taking the cigarette from between his roommates fingers, making the decision that this was now something they'd be sharing.

Hosah's attention turned to the freckled forearms encapsulating his body, deciding not to fight against the touch for once in his life,

"Thought you were on the whole 'smoking is bad' train," The shifter joked back, "Am I a bad influence?"

Instead of giving a straight answer, Teddy instead gave an unsure 'Mmm' as he inhaled the toxins once more, something unexpected of him to even know how to do properly.

Hosah knew the innocent and inexperienced mental image he'd created of his assistant to be most likely inaccurate, which is why he'd felt guilty for thinking of Teddy in such a way, but he couldn't shake the views he'd gained of the auburn haired man, so him indulging in these kinds of poor habits, that he himself was guilty of, was certainly shocking to the shifter.

"So," Teddy propped his head up, passing the cigarette back to the shifter as he'd moved his arms from around his waist to around his shoulders, "How are you liking it here?"

The question was unusually bland, but still, Hosah struggled to find the right words to summarise his feelings.

"It's nice," Was certainly one way to put it, "I feel like I can relax again."

Although somewhat true, Hosah still found it hard to break from his train of thought taking him to dark places in his mind. One idea that came to mind was certainly an intrusive one, one where his stalker waited below the apartment building with a little red target dot places perfectly in the middle of the shifters head, ready to shoot him down and end everything in less than a split second.

"That's good," Teddy's head tilted into the crook of the shifter's neck, where he himself once lay when the roles were reversed, his entire form fitting into that one little space, one where his assistant's whole upper head couldn't even imagine fitting.

This was another scene Hosah imagined to be quite picturesque. He wondered if anyone was watching the pair, maybe he could've asked them to take a candid shot of the moment so he could keep it in a photo album forever.

Despite the fact he was only half way through the perfectly good cigarette, something within Hosah, probably relating to his stalker, told him it was time to go back inside. Flicking the ash that hung onto the slender tobacco cylinder, the shifter let it fall down all seven stories before hitting the pavement below them, almost landing on a passerby's head in the process.

"I'm cold," Hosah lied, wriggling out of the touch and rushing back in through the glass sliding door. Of course he'd be cold, the only pieces of clothing he had on were his socks and boxer briefs.

The sudden thought of the person who'd been watching his every move getting sight of him and Teddy's growing closeness was one that scared the shifter. Things were going so well, if some outside uncontrollable forces were to ruin everything they'd created, he'd be devastated. If things were to end badly, it'd have to be on his own accord, then he wouldn't be able to wallow in self-guilt. Hosah would much rather be mad at himself for all eternity than feel bad for himself.

Although, that was exactly the problem, if the shifter's growing anxiety were to worsen, if he were to become more and more paranoid by the day as he was seeming to be, it'd force a wedge between himself and his new roommate. Hosah already spent his days with an unexplained pit of forbidden knowledge in his stomach, one that told him something bad was going to happen, he just didn't know when.

The unshakable feeling of impending doom was one that dictated his every thought, his every action, his every word, his whole livelihood was spent feeding this forever growing black hole of anxiety, and he wasn't going to let it start to consume those around him too.

"You okay?" The voice came from the balcony door, one with concern in its tone, as Teddy stood there with an undeniably cute pout on his face.

Hunched over the kitchen counter, Hosah replied in a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding this whole time,

"Yeah, think I'm just falling asleep here," His fake laugh was extremely obvious, but there were bigger things to care about.

Seeing the gorgeous face looking back at him certainly put Hosah's mind at ease. If he were to be struck down by this crazed killer, he just hoped it'd be done with Teddy looking down at him. If there was an afterlife, he hoped every angel up in that sacred place would have a face at least somewhat as beautiful as Teddy's. Now that truly would be heaven.

Making his way to the cluttered bedroom, Hosah half expected his assistant to follow behind him like the lost little puppy he was, but as he lay down on the unmade bed, the shifter realised Teddy was still stood in the kitchen opposite.

"Aren't you coming to read?" Hosah felt like they were some old married couple as he yelled out across the apartment.

The two had gotten into the habit of migrating into the bedroom when they were almost passed out on the sofa with the TV blaring reruns of old men cooking show garbage, and Teddy would sit and read besides him as the shifter fell asleep, but once he woke up in the morning, he'd realise Teddy had actually gotten up and went to sleep on the couch.

He felt bad seeing the man who was definitely too tall for the makeshift bed all cramped up like that, but on the other hand, Hosah couldn't help but feel he was right to do so, given all the stories from his past that Jules had spread around the office.

Instead of looking scared or disturbed as Hosah half expected him to, Teddy turned around with a smile, "On my way."

And sure enough, in he came, and down he lay by the side of the smaller, freshly washed, cut and dried man. The two just sort of lay in the dimly lit room, turned on their sides looking at each other like two high-school girls up past their bedtime talking about their latest crushes.

Even when only illuminated by the bedside lamp behind him, Teddy's eyes were still hypnotically bright, the green colour being similar to that of a rich emerald on the most beautiful crown you could picture in your head.

It took a whole lot of strength to not point out the two orbs staring straight through him, but luckily, his assistant bit the bullet in the first to talk game.

Brushing the length of Hosah's wavy hair out of his eyes, Teddy half-whispered, "I think you should let your hair curl more, it's pretty like this."

The little crooked canine that stuck out when his assistant smiled was unbearably charming. Fighting the urge to reach out and touch it, Hosah instead turned his head down to avoid looking at the man laid beside him.

How he'd ended up in such an intimate position with a man he was so certainly attracted to was beyond the shifter. Maybe luck was finally starting to favour him, maybe he'd unlocked some kind of hidden charm he hadn't realised he'd had within him as of late, drawing in the type of person he'd been searching for without his own knowledge.

Whatever it was that brought Teddy to the shifter, it deserved a very large thank-you. Whether it be luck, fate, some kind of supernatural interference, it was on Hosah's side with this one.

It seemed Teddy just got closer and closer to the shifter whilst he hid his reddening face, as when he'd finally got the courage to look back up, the two were so close that the tips of their noses brushed against each other when Hosah's face matched the same level as his assistant's.

The combination of sudden touch, close proximity, and pre existing attraction all blended into one scenario was all too much for the shifter's heart, shooting down to his base size of three inches in the blink of an eye. Phew, that was a close call. If they had stayed like that any longer, Hosah wouldn't have half a mind to think his assistant was trying to kiss him. But that was stupid, Teddy wasn't that type of guy, Teddy probably didn't even see him that way, and was just messing with the shifter to get a reaction out of him.

"Shit," The only word Hosah could muster out as he lay in the fetal position beside the giant.

The shifter quickly turned to his other side, frantically looking away from the perpetrator of the malicious attack against his feelings, eyes shut tight incase Teddy went in for the final K.O.

There was only a brief moment of awkward, flustered, homoerotic silence before Teddy spoke up, "...Sorry, too close."

Hosah turned back over to face the person speaking to him, afraid his overreaction would ruin their future possibilities all together,

"It's okay, been itching to shrink all day anyway," the shifter explained, moving himself into the resting cupped hand that lay out besides Teddy's face.

He was certainly not inexperienced with being close to other men, in fact, the amount of guys Hosah had shared a bed with could probably fill an entire stadium, but there was something so inherently familiar about the sincerity in Teddy's touch, the genuine love and care in all of his gentle brushes of his fingertips against the shifter's brittle skin, the kind of affection Hosah had not yet received in life, and that terrified him. The thought of finally learning what it meant to be loved by someone else, and suddenly losing that. He wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to move on from that.

The future however, did not matter right now, all that mattered was that Hosah was finally in the warm palm of a beautiful man who cared for him. There was no point in worrying about the day it'll disappear when he could just enjoy it as it were happening, is what he tried to tell himself as his mind wandered into the deep unknown depths of itself.

Teddy's hands weren't exactly the most delicate or elegant he'd ever seen, but they were certainly soft and pleasant. A little coarse on the tips from farm work, Hosah presumed, but they were steady and stable, something the shifter most definitely lacked and was in need of in this life.

Twisting around onto his stomach, Hosah peered up at whatever the giant was doing, which was what he usually did before bed, far too indulged in some sort of book the shifter could quite make out the cover of from such a distance away and in such bad lighting.

Despite wanting to call out for attention, instead Hosah just watched attentively, hoping the sensation of eager eyes boring into the giant's face would be enough to make him look up from whatever he was so engulfed by.

Fortunately, it seemed Teddy couldn't turn the page with just one hand, putting the book down with the two pages separated on the bedside table, his view finally shifting down into the tiny man that lounged in his palm like they didn't just share an extremely embarrassing intimate moment that will be ingrained in both of their memories for the rest of time.

"You look comfortable," was all the giant could muster has he moved the rest of his body in accordance to the shifter's satisfaction.

"Yeah," Hosah sighed wistfully, "Don't leave to sleep on the couch tonight please."

He didn't even intend to make such a big request from his roommate in the moment, but it seems the shifter's wants heavily surpassed his ability to think before speaking. Wide-eyed in embarrassment, a response couldn't come faster.

Equally as red as the shifter once was, Teddy laughed, his free hand rubbing his face as an excuse to cover it, "Okay, if that's what you want, 's it scary all alone in the dark?" The giant teased,

"Well when you have a stalker that invaded your home, I guess so," The macabre joke was one Hosah fully expected not to land, as he often assumed with most of the jokes he made that he genuinely considered funny, but it seemed that Teddy saw the comedy in the situation too.

"Hah, cmon," The giant's palm shifted, pressing the shrunken figure up against the cozy chest of which he'd grown familiar to, "Go to sleep,"

Despite the layer of thin t-shirt material between them, this still felt more intimate than the likes of which the shifter had ever experienced. Well, you didn't have to tell Hosah twice, as he might as well have passed out right in that moment with how quickly he went from a hundred to zero as he curled up, sandwiched between the hand and the chest. Okay, maybe this was a more accurate representation of his ideal heaven.

-~-

The next few passing days at work became more and more repetitive by the second. Hosah would spend all day pining for the touch he, quite literally, shrank away from, only to wimp out once they were home and his assistant went back to testing the waters with him again.

Just the inkling that his feelings were mutual was enough to make the shifter a flustered mess, and the fact Teddy took full leverage of that power he held over the shifter became more apparent by the minute. Getting just slightly closer than he did yesterday, taking more risks with the things he said, all steps that would water the seed that was their romantic relationship, until it eventually bloomed into an incomprehensibly beautiful thing.

Sitting on the hardwood desk besides all the files and loose papers had become a part of Hosah's nature, a second, or third if you count his own apartment, home to him. Lately, the shifter had been heavily slacking off with all of the casework still left to do, getting lost in Teddy's vast form that sat in front of him, his eyes becoming fixated on all the little details that were only visible at such a size.

"I think you should move in, like, officially." The statement caught Hosah incredibly off guard.

A little shocked, and also sort of flattered, the shifter responded, "Uh, yeah, yeah me too. I.."

There was no easy way to put the fact that Jules was not only both his boss and best friend from his teen years, but also his landlord.

"..I'll need to take that up with Boss though. My rent is taken straight from my paycheck. Her dad owns the apartment complex I live in, she's my landlord."

"Oh, god," Teddy laughed, "I'm sorry that happened to you,"

"Yeah. Shitty situation to end up in. Needed to get out of there anyway,"

His apartment was not a place Hosah had grown particularly attached to, preferring the heavily decorated space that his assistant owned to the endless liminal space that was his complex's hallways. Sometimes, when it was dark outside and the only thing he had to light his pathway was the buzzing, flickering, yellow overhead lights, Hosah wondered if he was even anywhere near his home, the building being more like a maze if anything. The papered walls and carpeted floors resembled that of the Stanley Hotel, the shifter half expecting to see a creepy pair of ghostly twins at the other side of every corner he turned.

"Well," His assistant leant in closer, his rolled up sleeves showing off his forearms, "We can take it slowly, no need to rush into things, given how hectic it's all been lately."

Hosah didn't have anything to say, instead just humming in agreement.

"Anway, when's that specialist appointment?"

Oh, right, the shifter had almost completely forgotten about Doctor whats-his-face.

"September nineteenth." He recalled off the top of his head, exactly one month until Teddy's birthday on the day.

His assistant's head tilted, cheek smushed against his arms, eyebrows angled downward like a sad puppy, "Are you worried about it?"

"Pshh," Hosah scoffed, "No."

The shifter thought it'd be easier to just lie about his true feelings towards the situation. There was enough underlying, heavy tension between the pair as is, given the fact Teddy probably felt he had to walk on eggshells around the shifter, desperately pleading that whatever he did, he didn't hurt the impossibly tiny figure that lay in his hands in the dark.

Besides, Hosah had spent enough time in his life with some kind of caretaker figure. His entire highschool experience was being followed closely by his advocate, the man that would protest for his rights in both the education and the health care system, as well as providing for the shifter as his key worker at the establishment.

Hosah often felt selfish as an adolescent, for having someone whose entire career focus was him. He didn't need someone running after him twenty-four-seven, he could've done just fine if he'd stayed at home and in a regular school, but nobody else in the world believed in him, deciding to dump him off into some professional care setting rather than putting in any effort. Hosah would do anything not to live the way he did over ten years ago.

"... Are you sure you're okay?" Teddy leant in, his face being the only thing in the shifter's line of sight, whispering so nobody would hear their conversation.

Hosah looked anywhere but forward, his hands instinctively running through his uncharacteristically soft hair as he usually did when he was nervous,

"Of course! Why- why wouldn't I be?" The shifter tried his best to put on a smile, but it came off much more awkwardly than true, genuine contentment.

"You've been acting off for the past few days, 's all.." The assistant muttered, sitting up properly in his chair, eyes falling to the floor.

Oh, could it, just maybe, be the aggressive flirting making him act strange? Hosah would've laughed out loud at the idea if he wasn't already feeling a little sickened by his assistant's ability to read his feelings.

"It's just a lot. Or.. the fact that it's not really anything at all.." The shifter wasn't sure what he was getting at either, Teddy's sudden turn to attention with an eyebrow raise proving the statement to be not as good as if sounded in his head.

"I mean- That person who mailed me my own painting. There's been a real dip in missing people, there's been no more parcels, no more notes, just.. Nothing. It's the radio-silence that's stressing me out," Hosah rambled, suddenly being able to perfectly articulate his feelings he wasn't even sure if he fully understood before he opened his mouth,

"At least when they're peering through windows or writing me weird death threat slash love letter manifestos, I know what they're thinking, what they're feeling, I can make an educated guess at their next move."

"I.." Teddy sighed, a little lost for words, "I didn't know that's what you were feeling- or what you were thinking, you need to speak to me more about these kinds of things, instead of bottling it up."

If Hosah were to talk more about his internal conflicts, he'd be nonstop chattering about it, he already opened up about what he was thinking way more than he'd done in his entire life in the short month he and Teddy had known each other for.

"That's what that specialist is for." Hosah said, a slight bit of unintentional annoyance in his tone of voice.

"Still need to talk to me. Communication, it's a very important skill in relationships." The look on the shifter's face as Teddy said that last part probably lead on that using such a word to describe the pair was a little too bold for their current position,

"I mean- given that we're living together now," Quick save, nice.

Hosah scoffed as he spoke, "Only if you start telling me what you're thinking and feeling too."

"Deal." Ah, the shifter wasn't expecting to come to a mutual agreement, half thinking Teddy would back out of the proposal after his ultimatum.

Communicating what was going on in his brain wasn't an entirely foreign concept to the shifter. After going through some good old fashioned court-mandated therapy, Hosah would even consider himself a pro, but that was the main issue at hand. Teddy wasn't his psychiatrist, as much as he'd like to believe otherwise, and given he was being sent back to specialist rehabilitation, the shifter didn't think he'd need the extra mental support.

He'd already given the assistant an unfathomable amount of extra work load, I mean, the guy didn't get a break even in his down time. Every moment Hosah spent in his house, being doted on and chased around after, the worse he felt about the position he was in. Maybe the person who had been watching him was right after all, maybe he really was a leech to those around him, one that sucked all the life out of them and ran away when all got too real.

Suddenly, Hosah felt bad for even being in his voluntarily shrunken form in the first place, although this is how he was the most comfortable, he didn't even think to consider how it was affecting his roommate. Sure, the shifter could just ask Teddy if caring for him was too much on his plate, but making assumptions was the route Hosah usually preferred to take.

"I mean.." The giant's voice above him stopped the shifter's train of thought, "If there's anything you don't want to talk about, that's okay too. Just clarify, I don't want you to think I'm prying or anything, I just think we should be on the same page about these kinds of things, you know?"

Hosah nodded, still not fully all there, he'd appreciate a little leeway in the direction they were headed, although pulling the 'I don't want to talk about it' card would make him feel like he was a hormonal teenager again.

"Well, I think and feel that we should go back to my apartment and get the last few bits of my stuff. Still need to get that gun, see if I have any mail, you know."

The rest of the day seemed to fly by in a confusing daze, the shifter barely able to focus on just about anything with his influx of conflicting thoughts. To be annoyed at the giant, or to not be annoyed, the age old question. On one hand, Hosah had begun to really enjoy the shift in their dynamic, but on the other, the prospect of opening up, of having the giant understand him on such an intimate level, was terrifying.

Whenever the shrunken man stood on Teddy's shoulder like this, it filled him with an unshakable feeling of imbalance, like the giant was leaning to the left, standing on an angle, but it was probably the most satisfying mode of transport out of his other options, giving him a full regular height view of the space around him.

The feeling that overrun the shifter as the pair made their way through the identical labyrinth of hallways was like that of passing by an old place you remembered from your childhood, and seeing it shut down and disheveled right before your very eyes. A sense of overwhelming sadness, mixed with euphoric nostalgia all at once. There was nothing positive to associate his old home with, but just the fact it was his apartment, with his furniture, his own private space, was enough to fill anyone with a sense of pride.

Hosah's heart thumped in his throat as his assistant fumbled for the keys to open the familiar teal door that stood in front of them, afraid of what he'll see on the inside, almost closing his eyes entirely as it dramatically creaked open.

And there it was, exactly how he'd left it.

It seemed even the giant was nervous as he cautiously stepped inside of the bare bones living space, Hosah feeling the skin he stood so close to radiate a familiar heat as the palms bigger than his entire body clammed up.

Despite having one of those little cubbies for mail down in the lobby, Hosah's old apartment also had a little mail slot in the aged door. When he peered down, it was clear someone was trying to contact him, with the entrance mat being completely covered with cards and letters.

"What are all of those?" The shifter asked, grabbing onto the cinnamon hair for support as he got his footing between the shirt collar and the shoulder of the giant on which he stood on.

Teddy scooped up about a third of the mail in both of his hands, placing it all down onto the coffee table before muttering, "Seems like they've all been hand delivered."

This theory was proven as the nervous hand turned them all to face upward, with nothing being written on the envelopes besides Hosah's full legal name, no address, no return address.

"Teddy, go get the gun." The shifter's voice shook as he spoke, afraid the person who'd been stalking him could be hiding in any of the dark corners of his abandoned apartment.

Teddy listened immediately, making a rush over to where he recalled being told the weapon was kept. The absolute silence of the complex was the most terrifying part of the experience. Usually, there was always some kind of noise, whether that be his right side neighbour's baby crying deep into the night, or his left side neighbour's insane bass boosted coughing, there was never a moments peace in the building. But now was different. If it had been this way last month, Hosah would've thought, 'Finally, some quiet around here', but now he longed for the noise he'd learnt to tune out over the years.

Upon entering the bedroom, the giant rifled through the cluttered storage closet, following Hosah's directions to the safe with undoubtable accuracy. The closet was the one space throughout the entire apartment that had more than two items of furniture to fill it, being almost impossible to navigate with just how compact and filled the space was. Teddy moved whatever he could, making a mess of the bedroom the closet resided in all the while, only to see, under all of the long finished canvases and empty paint containers, somebody had gotten to it before them.

The little black metallic box had been opened and looted, the password being the anniversary of his uncles death, a fact Hosah didn't really go around sharing with just about anyone who'd listen.

".. Where the fuck is it?" The shifter knew exactly where it'd be, in the possession of a highly dangerous individual, but his fear overran his ability to think logically.

The fact of the matter was, the gun didn't even really matter all that much. Even people with diagnosed schizophrenia on their records could go and purchase one if they so desired. The most terrifying part of it all was the mass amounts of letters.

It had barely been three weeks since the first parcel delivery, and in that time, at least a hundred hand written cards had been mailed to his address, all probably detailing incredibly private parts of his life with precision, an undeniable accuracy that truly terrified the shifter.

Hosah could just hope his past wasn't something the stalker was open to using as leverage against him, although at this point, nothing was off limits when it came to his perpetual psychological torment.

The lack of noise didn't just keep to the other residents of the building, as Teddy hadn't made a peep either. If even he was scared, the shifter was fucked completely. In silence, the giant moved back into the main living area, headed straight to the kitchen presumably for a glass of water to cool down from the stress of the situation.

Whilst the giant was preoccupied at the sink, Hosah took it upon himself to scan the tiled roomed the pair had rushed into, his eyes landing straight on the counter top opposite them.

I guess that answered the question of the missing gun.

[o-i-w-u]

Wait...Do you have a Lord bloodmoon au?

:0 I HAVE ONE TOO!!!!!

:0

GASP. GASSPPPPPPPPP YOU DO????? SHARE WITH THE CLASS?????????????? THEY CAN KILL EACHOTHER AGHF OMG.. OUGH!!!

[cupophrogs]

Sebastian has a minor in music.

[stormbreaker-290]

I just wanted you to know your very appreciated and very loved, and having you around is a blessing to all the times of interaction

OUGSHHENSHSNSEBDBSHSGH FUCKIG. CRIES. OUGH TYSM???? AUGHHNSH DUDE I FEEL THE SAME WITH YOU MAN OAUSWBNSBSHBSHSHSH

[hassianlovebot]

am i going crazy or new voice lines?? when did that happen ???