#otty writes

[otterlyinluv]

Only Mortals Catch the Sniffles

Summary: You decided to go shopping while it was raining. But you forgot your umbrella. So of course you end up getting sick (you have a really poor immune system, don’t you?). What’s unexpected is who exactly decides to take care of you and what discoveries it leads to.

Pairing: Darkiplier x DA!Reader

Tags: sfw, the flu, argument and misunderstanding (gets resolved), proximity, tension

A/N: I have almost no time to write. (Who would’ve said I’d be reading lots in a linguistic course—) But hopefully you’ll enjoy this little thing I’ve been cooking up for quite a while now ^^

Word Count: 4.5k

——

You rummaged through the cupboard to find some of your favorite snacks but were met with empty space instead. You sighed and shook your head. Your secret stash of snacks has been disappearing at a suspiciously fast pace, so it was safe to assume someone was eating it. But eating all of it without notice? You’d have to have a stern word when you found the culprit. If at all.

This shortage has happened multiple times already. At first, you let it slide, but it was really beginning to get on your nerves. Scratch the beginning. You were mad. You were going to get your snack. Now.

Breathing slowly to clear your head a little, you decided to go for a late-night shopping run while you were at it. After all, there were some other things you wanted to buy, along with the snack. And then you’d catch whoever had been stealing them.

You walked down the corridor and noticed the time on the grandfather clock. You winced. If you wanted to go shopping you needed to get ready and fast.

You grabbed everything without thinking too much about the details. Your phone, purse, and a shopping bag and bolted for the door. You managed to faintly hear something Google was trying to say, but you had no time to listen. Off to the shop it was.

—

By the time you returned, it was pouring. And you hadn't brought an umbrella.

The door opened with a creak, and you stepped in, clothes dripping with water all over the carpet.

Out of the corner of your vision, Google raised an eyebrow before coughing silently: “I did attempt to tell you the forecast was saying it would rain.”

You pushed your wet hair out of your face. “Yeah. I don’t think that'll help now.”

“Well, if you had given me admin privileges, I would have been able to contact you even while you were away—“

You walked away irritated, not bothering to hear his ‘Giving me admin privileges is the solution to all your problems’ speech.

While sprinting to your room, you almost crashed into someone, but you were able to steady yourself and not make his suit wet. Suit. Only one man would wear a suit well into the evening.

Darkiplier eyed your very much drenched form from head to toe. Before you could say anything, he spoke, no visible emotion on his face. “Your clothes are wet.” It sounded as if he was merely making an observation.

A scoff escaped your lips. “Haven’t noticed.”

“Did Google not tell you about the weather?”

He who stayed mostly cooped up in his office most of the time had the audacity to lecture you for going out when it was raining?!

“Well, obviously I didn’t have the time to get an umbrella!” You threw your hands around, irritated, and stormed off into your room.

—

You woke up still tired. Your throat felt dry. You swallowed. Sharp stabbing pain. You groaned and turned around to check the time. You slept for 10 hours?!

The sun was already high in the sky, an unusual sight for an early bird like you. Weird, but you supposed it was better to get started for the day, you said to yourself, trying to sit up. Emphasis on trying.

You clutched the side of your head to dull the throbbing pain that emerged from your movement and flopped back onto your pillow. Well, this was a problem. Everyone would start wondering where you were sooner or later since you routinely woke up first.

The pain was almost enough for you to consider just staying in bed. And yet you couldn’t do that.

You’ve never allowed yourself to rest even while tired or under the weather. The work helped you focus on other things. Without it, your mind started to wander into territories it shouldn’t. Like those recurring dreams of a strange mansion or a poker game with people you didn't recognize… and it was doing it again. Which is exactly why you needed to get back to work.

You weren’t able to attempt to get out of bed again when your door handle swung open violently, almost slamming into the wall. There was almost no time to register the urgent steps stop as Wilford put his hands on your shoulders and began shaking you.

“Oh, my word, we thought you died!”

Wilford was a mess. Eyes shot wide, clothes untucked, hair unkempt, like he was running around and forgot to fix himself up.

“Wilford…” you said lethargically, Wilford’s shaking making your hoarse voice sound even quieter.

“Illinois said he hadn’t seen you at breakfast, so I thought you must have eaten already, but when I went to check, you weren't at your office and you’re always at your office, so we all thought you got kidnapped…” he continued ranting, almost like he was stuck in panic mode with no regards to the fact that you were actually safe and sound in your bed.

“Wilford, I’m fine!” you yelled as loudly as you could muster, which was not much but it seemed to break the loop he was in. He stopped shaking you. “I’m just not feeling well, that’s all…”

“Oh…” he said softly, slowly pulling his arms away.

His eyebrows scrunched up in almost a comical fashion. “You’re sick,” he stated, as if for some sort of confirmation.

“I’m not that sick—”

“But you never get sick.” He shook his head, looking positively baffled.

“Again, I’m not that sick. Just woke up a little later than usual, nothing to be worried about…”

“You are ill?” you heard his voice before you saw him appear. Darkiplier was standing in your doorway. Who knows for how long. His face looked neutral, except for the smallest furrow of his eyebrows.

You sighed, exasperated. This was too much to deal with in your current state. Which was not that bad, mind you. Besides, how and why was Darkiplier even in your room? Wilford, you could understand. You were acquaintances—friends even, but it was different with Darkiplier.

Sure, you had mutual respect, but your relationship had always been on the more formal side, seeing as you were one of the few people he could rely on to complete the tasks you agreed on. But he would have never struck you as a person to be worried about someone’s physical state.

“I am fine. It’s just a cold. Nothing I can’t handle—“

He interrupted you before you could finish your sentence.

“A cold? A cold that leaves you unable to get out of your room until noon? Is just a cold the reason you are left bedridden and shivering despite being underneath a duvet?” He walked until he was near your bed. There was a cold sort of fury hidden behind his eyes.

That irked you. Of course he never cared about your well-being. He only cared about how the search for Mark continued. And no matter who helped him along the way, as long as he got his revenge, nothing else mattered.

You weren’t able to yell, but your gruff voice was teeming with anger. “Well, I’m sorry I had the gall to fall ill. But not all of us have the ability to work for days on end. Some of us are human!”

You hadn’t meant to say that last sentence. Pain flashed in his eyes. You’ve always had a suspicion that he used to be human. At least at some point in time. You got your confirmation now. You would’ve regretted saying it any other time, but not now. Not now when you finally found out the thing he cared about most was your productivity.

“I think you should leave,” you said coldly.

You’ve honestly forgotten Wilford was also in the room as he hasn’t butted into your conversation like he usually did. Darkiplier’s face was stunned, maybe even regretful, but he did nothing, as Wilford took him by the shoulder and led him away from your room.

As they left, you turned to the wall and closed your eyes. Tired from the emotional exchange and your current sickness, slumber soon overtook you.

—

You woke up still tired, your mouth dry as if you hadn’t drank water in forever. Which, you hadn’t. Your stomach ached, but you highly doubted you could muster up enough strength to make yourself something. Another grumble of your stomach convinced you otherwise.

You looked around for a bathrobe to put on over your pajamas when your eyes got caught on your bedside table. There, lay a tray with a plate full of chicken noodle soup along with a spoon.

Did someone…. make you food? You have eaten along with some of them, such as breakfasts with Illinois or Yancy, and sometimes Wilford liked to join you for lunch. Then there were the late dinners in Darkiplier's office. But this? You weren't used to that. You leaned over and put the tray on your lap, careful not to spill anything.

You wondered who would do such a thoughtful thing for you. It looked homemade, so that ruled Yancy out. He approached you a few weeks ago if you could re-teach him some simple recipes since he's been in prison for so long that he's forgotten how to cook.

You were familiar with Illinois’ cooking skills, but you doubted he would find the time to make you soup. He’s always joked that he can’t give anyone special treatment or else they’d fall in love with him.

And Darkiplier… you threw that thought away before you could even start thinking about it properly. As if he’d be all nice to you after treating you no less than an expendable employee.

Wilford, you couldn’t be sure about. You’ve seen him cook occasionally, not soup, but he seemed to have both skill and like you enough to be so considerate.

Satisfied with your thought process, you set to eating the surprisingly still warm soup that you deduced Wilford had made for you.

After about twenty minutes, you already having finished your soup and cuddled up facing the wall to sleep the cold off some more, a quiet click of the door handle filled the silence of your room. Soft tentative steps tapped on the floor, seemingly so as not to wake you up.

You turned around.

“Hey Wil, thanks for the soup…” You trailed off when you realized the one who entered your room was, in fact, not Wilford but a rather startled Darkiplier. You have never seen him with that much exposed emotion. He was frozen reaching for the empty plate, his eyes slightly wide, as if he got caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to. It, however, didn’t last long. He promptly straightened his back, wiping imaginary dust from his jacket, his expression back to being deadpan as usual.

“Why are you taking that plate?” You eyed him warily. Was he here to chastise you for not working? Or perhaps—

“Because I made the soup. I figured you’d have finished it by now.” He moved to pick the tray up.

“You made the soup? You made me soup?” you blurted out before you could really think about what you were saying.

“You’ve seen me cook,” he said in the most matter-of-fact voice.

“Well, yes, but…” You sat up and tried to gather your thoughts. It all lead down to just one thing. “Why?”

“You are ill. You need rest and warm food. So I made you soup. Is that enough of a reason for you?” There was a hint of humor in his voice, his expression mostly unchanged, except for the faintest sparkle in his eyes.

You were absolutely baffled. He gets angry at you for getting sick and not working and then makes you soup?

He seemed to notice your irritation increasing and opened his mouth to speak. You crossed your arms and leaned on the pillow.

“Listen. I know a plate of soup isn’t enough to make up for what I had said. And I didn’t just make the soup to make amends. I want you to get better. I know what’s done is done but you need to know the truth.” He looked away momentarily as if he had to find strength to continue. “I wasn’t angry with you for not being able to work. I was angry… with myself.”

“What?”

He sighed, looking away.

“What I had said and the way that I had said it was harsh. There is no excuse for it. I was just…” He took a deep breath and shook his head absentmindedly. “I was worried. When you didn't show up in the morning. I thought something had happened. That maybe you had left or perhaps needed some time off. You work too hard all the time. And I did not want to intrude even if I was worried. A part of me was glad you finally decided to take some time for yourself. But when I was passing by and heard Wil say you were ill…” He looked off to the side for a moment.

“I have never seen you ill. Ever. So I said things without thinking them over. And for what it's worth, I am sorry.”

Your eyebrows only scrunched up more. Many emotions of increasingly more confusing variations started bubbling up in your brain. You didn’t say a thing. Just kept looking at him as if that would help you comprehend what exactly he had just said.

He sighed.

“Do with that what you will. But believe me when I say, I am being completely sincere that I truly hope you do get better.” With that, he grabbed the tray with the plate and left your room.

A part of you wanted to say something. To tell him to come back. But you couldn’t will your tongue to move. And not because you were sick.

With a closing of the door, you were left alone once again. This time, with many more things to think about.

—

Evening rolled around faster than you expected it to. You spent most of the time sleeping. You even felt good enough to make some light dinner for yourself. It seemed none of the residents were up to their usual antics of annoying you today. Lovingly, of course, but you had thought when they came to know you weren’t dying, they’d come to visit you. But that didn’t seem to be the case as no-one has been in your room since your… exchange with Darkiplier.

But as all sickness goes, it gets worse in the evening. And so you were lying in your bed, as lethargic as ever, unable to even sleep.

Your door creaked, the sound so quiet you wouldn’t have been able to hear it if you hadn’t been lying in dead silence.

Darkiplier opened the door and looked over into the room. Your eyes met. And even through your hazy state, it felt like you locked eyes just a second too long. Not like any other time.

“I... came to check up on you.” He looked away, cutting the silence.

“That's awfully nice of you.” You weren’t really thinking about what you were saying. It seemed to a side effect of your illness. Or maybe you weren’t so guarded with him anymore.

His eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. It looked oddly adorable.

“Are you feeling alright?”

You didn't know if he meant healthwise or your current state of mind, and you didn’t care.

“Absolutely.”

He walked over closer, right up to your bed. You watched him curiously, a bit more attentive even despite your heavy mood.

“No fever or anything of the sorts?”

You scoffed lightly. “No, nothing of the sort. Really, I’m fine. Never been better. See?”

You moved to sit up when he gently grabbed your shoulders and pushed you back onto the pillow.

Breathing became a foreign concept. Even your sickness existed only in the back of your mind. Your body was faintly pressed against the plush of your pillow, yet everything paled in comparison to all but one sensation.

Him.

So close.

And yet not close enough.

His hands on your shoulders were secure and just a bit insistent. But not necessarily painful.

“Don’t get up, you need to rest,” he said firmly but softly just the same.

Your eyebrows raised. He leaned closer. And closer. You closed your eyes.

The touch of his lips on your forehead was feather light.

After seconds which seemed like hours, he pulled away just a little, deep in thought. “Your forehead isn’t warm so it seems like you really don't have a fever…”

It sounded like an inner monologue or a passing thought, but your brain froze from the moment he kissed your forehead. It was so soft you weren’t sure you weren’t actually having a fever dream. Your eyes moved on their own accord, studying his face. His eyes caught yours. You have never seen him from this close. Your mouth was slightly open as a shallow shaky breath escaped it. It was as if the Earth itself stopped spinning and all you could feel were his eyes. Staring. Pensive. As if he himself was also frozen.

“You… you shouldn’t be so close to me,” you said quietly, almost indiscernibly. Your mouth was dry. A few seconds passed. Silence. Just him and you. And his eyes. Oh, those dark eyes. They went deeper than you thought. Like they were their own little galaxies. Did he even hear what you said? Did he—.

“Why?” His voice was quiet, similarly to yours, with a slight purr that you’d never heard from him. You could feel his chest rise and fall, dangerously close to your own. Your heart was beating so quickly that you wondered if he could feel it. A shiver ran up your spine. Your brain desperately searched for an excuse. But did you really want him to stop?

“I’ll get you sick,” you tried. Oddly enough, you weren’t feeling all that unwell at the moment. You were, however, feeling something else you couldn’t describe. And his closeness only heightened the tingling in your stomach.

“I’m not human. I can’t get sick,” he said without missing a beat, almost matter-of-factly.

Curses, he’s always been good at quick responses. But— Hang on. How would you know such a thing about him? You’ve spent some time together, yes but… Not enough to know an obscure detail like that.

“But you were.” The words left your lips almost by themselves. And yet, something in you knows that it’s the truth. Somehow, someway you feel he used to be something else before this.

His face darkened, his expression shifting to the all too familiar one you knew from working together late into the night.

“I… used to,” he admitted. You had to keep your mouth from falling open. This was the clearest confirmation of their past you’ve gotten out of any of the residents of this mansion. And to get it from Darkiplier first… If anybody told you a few days ago that such a thing would happen, you would’ve laughed straight into their face. But now… Him sharing something vulnerable with you felt strangely familiar. Like it happened before.

“I can see that brilliant mind of yours working. But whatever questions you want to ask, save them. There is time and place for such conversation and this is not it.” This was his way of saying no to talking about this topic. Rather tactfully from how you’ve seen him snap at Google when he is genuinely angry for a sensible reason. There was, however, something in the sentence that you could use to gauge him. You could consider yourself fairly well-versed in a few things in life but for Darkiplier to call you brilliant? And with such casualty. Like he has already said it before. But he hasn’t. There had to be something more behind it.

“’Brilliant mind’?” you repeated his words inquisitively.

His eyebrows furrowed apprehensively and you knew then you struck gold. He pulled back from leaning over you but you followed suit, sitting up on your bed.

“Forget it,” he said, his voice clipped.

“No.” You surprised yourself by how fast you replied. And it seemed to have the same effect on Darkiplier since he didn’t move from the spot. Encouraged by this, you continued: “… No. Why did you say that?”

“I…” There it was—he hesitated. You waited with bated breath for him to reveal whatever it was he kept trying to hide. You knew it was something that weighed heavy on his soul.

“It is none of your concern,” he said after a few tense seconds of your waiting. Ever the diplomat. Was he a politician in his past life or what?

“Considering the fact that you said something about me, I think it very much concerns me.”

“Look, you are ill and there are things that are beyond your understanding—”

“Then tell me something I can know.” That was it. Your last ditch effort to get to know something more. More about this man who went from only a colleague to someone who has actually, and much to your surprise, proved to care for you. As much as a man with seemingly so little external emotion such as Darkiplier was. But only seemingly. You have seen him smile before this even if it was scarce. But now you could finally admit — it did suit him.

Darkiplier looked at you, brows furrowed, seeming almost perplexed. “You truly wish to know more about me?” he asked, to which you nodded quickly before he could change his mind and decide to leave right then and there.

He sighed.

Then begrudgingly sat back down on your bed.

Bingo.

You made yourself more comfortable, propping your back on the wall behind you. It felt like a child getting ready to hear a bedtime story. Darkiplier raised an eyebrow and let out a soft breath through his nose, the corner of his mouth raising almost imperceptibly.

He looked to the side thoughtfully for a few moments before turning back to you.

“I don’t have to breathe.”

Well, that was unexpected. You thought he would talk about his life experiences or the people that he met. Then again, you should have known better than to think he would actually tell you anything about his past or elaborate on the whole “brilliant mind” comment. Nonetheless, this new information was quite intriguing.

“What do you mean you don't have to breathe?”

”It’s… more of a habit than anything physiologically needed.”

“But— your chest raises and falls so regularly...” you said, more musing out loud than actually meaning to share any information.

“Do you watch me?” he asked. If you didn’t know him well, you’d think he’s irritated, his tone slightly accusatory. But when you looked at him, there was that familiar tug of the corner of his lips. He was playing. He didn’t sport that look often but he pulled it off quite well.

Apparently, you had drifted off again because his lopsided smirk had only gotten wider and he was closer than before.

“Do I have the privilege of your presence now?”

He was close. Really close. Like when he kissed your forehead to check for a fever kind of close. Your heartbeat picked up, and you could only hope he couldn't hear it. Heartbeat... does he have one? You must have spoken out loud because a thoughtful look spread across his features.

“I’m not too sure myself. Want to check?”

Did he really mean to say that? You blinked. His expression hasn’t changed. So he did.

You placed your hand on his chest matter-of-factly. That’s all it was. A checkup. You weren’t doing anything weird. It’s not like you felt his dichromatic aura bristle slightly at your touch before returning to a faint buzz, albeit a bit louder than a few moments ago. With him wearing only a dress shirt, you could feel his skin and the lack of a heartbeat.

“You know I’m only letting you feel me up like this because you’re ill.”

“Stop being cheeky.” You clicked your tongue in irritation when he disrupted your concentration. There was a faint huff of laughter before you refocused on what lay beneath your palm.

“There’s nothing,” you said quietly.

“You won’t be able to feel it like this.” And with that, you found your hand pressed even closer to his ribcage, covered by his. You felt his chest rise and fall more deeply, almost like you’d feel a regular person breathe. That’s when you felt it. A faint heartbeat right under your fingertips.

Badump badump

Even with his palm on top of yours being extremely distracting, it was clearly discernible. Orderly. A sign of life where there really wasn’t one.

His hand lifted from yours but you kept it there, utterly entranced by the sensation of his heartbeat. He didn’t comment on it and spoke up, his tone softer than you’ve ever heard him be.

“There has to be oxygen for it to beat strongly. And that happens when I breathe more. Not that I need to per se, it’s more of a habit.”

“How is that even possible? How can you function without air?”

“There are no... rules for the amalgamation that I have become.”

That was one genuine bit of emotion you’ve seen him express. Frustration maybe? You’d have thought Darkiplier had come to terms with what he had turned into but it seems time can’t heal all wounds.

“I have been... this way for a very very long time. And yet I don’t know the constraints of myself.”

You hummed in understanding, mind racing with thoughts of what exactly he can and can’t do, absent-mindedly tracing the buttons of his shirt.

You felt his heart speed up, his chest jerking in as air hit your fingers. Your eyes flicked back up to his face.

Burning heat. Molten lava and blistering cold of his aura. His eyes searched yours for something. You weren’t sure what. Maybe he—The cracking of a mirror...

The intensity of his gaze made your hand twitch back, your whole body freezing up.

After a few seconds, he exhaled and smiled softly, bittersweet yet understanding, tender even — have you ever seen him smiling like that? — and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“Rest. You need it.” He stood up and headed towards the door. Just when he was about to reach the door handle, you called out:

“Dark?”

He turned around, a look akin to hope in his eyes.

“Yes?”

“Will you… make me soup again?”

The tender smile was there again, devoid of all previous bittersweetness.

“Of course. Anytime, darling.”

It was only when he left that you realized, you called him ‘Dark’ instead of Darkiplier. And that Dark apparently resorts to pet names.

——

Fun fact I wanted to write it but could not manage to insert anywhere: Dark was the one who told the others not to disturb the reader :)) Oh and either Wilford or Yancy is stealing your snacks. Which one do you think it is?

Also, if anyone wants to be part of a taglist for future fics, let me know :)

[sunnyxjarrus]

I haven’t decided who I want as my other two perspectives or at least one more (I am thinks main character 2’s brother and best friend or maybe his sister even [I can’t pass the bechdel test if I don’t have a female perspective] or maybe just a side character that I haven’t even thought of yet, I don’t know[HELP ME!] But it’s okay)

[squigglysquidd]

Just want to let y'all know that my fantasy WIP Born From Ashes has a dog in it! He's a very good boy too!!

[hellodarling1357]

Hello! Heard your requests are open so could I please request a cassian x f!reader fic where the reader is a babysitter for cassian's baby girl (maybe less than a year old). cassian is a single father so as time goes on and cassian sees reader bonding so well with his baby, he starts liking her more and more. eventually asks her out and they end up getting together and all❤️

Tiny Toes

Thank you so much for the request! I had the best time writing this, it honestly could’ve gone on forever

A/N: sorry for the slight Nesta slander, I really do love her as a character but needed to have her do this :(

Enjoy 🥰

Word Count: 6.6k

You didn’t think you would be babysitting at this stage in your life but with your boss firing you because you refused to sleep with him, and then refusing to put in a good word for you when potential employers contacted him for a reference, it seemed like the next best, and your only, option. If anything, it was a means to an end in terms of supporting yourself whilst you got back on your feet and sorted something else out; the fact that you absolutely adored babies and children was just a bonus perk of the job.

When your close friend Elain told you that she knew someone who would really appreciate your help, you jumped at the opportunity. However, what you weren’t expecting was to come face to face with the General of the Night Court’s armies, crying baby in his arms and a distressed expression of his face.

“Y/N?”

“Yes, hi…” You trailed off, unsure how to address the male in front of you. General? Lord? But he didn’t seem to notice your hesitancy as he gestured you inside.

“Hey, I’m Cassian. Seriously, thank you so much for agreeing to this. I know it’s last minute, but somethings come up and I just… Well, I really need the help, so thank you.”

You smiled at him, taking the time to look around the open layout of the house as he tried to settle his crying daughter. You couldn’t help but cringe a bit at the state of the place. There were baby clothes and toys everywhere, plates and dirty laundry piled up, not to mention the daggers and knives that seemed to be scattered throughout the place.

“This,” Cassian said as he walked back into the lounge room, the babe now happily looking around, “is Otilia, or Ottie. Ottie, this is Y/N, she’s going to be looking after you while Daddy is away. You’re going to be a good girl for Y/N?” Ottie just smiled up at him as though he were her favourite person in the world, making happy little noises as she kicked her feet and grasped at the front of his top.

The sight had your heart melting. If you didn’t already know who Cassian was, there was no way in a million years you would’ve guessed that the male in front of you was the infamous General, the Lord of Bloodshed.

With Ottie still is his arms, Cassian moved around the room, gathering items, and trying to clean up what he could before leaving.

“I’ve left a note in the kitchen, just with all the general things like nap times, where the baby food is, where the nappies are, what her favourite toy is. But she’s a pretty happy baby so hopefully she won’t be any trouble.”

“I’m sure she’ll be perfect, won’t you, sweetheart?” You cooed at the little girl as she watched you with wide eyes. “Here, do you want me to take her so she can get comfortable with me while you’re still here?” You offered, as she wrapped her small hand around your finger.

“If you don’t mind. Don’t be offended if she starts crying, she usually takes a few minutes to warm up to new people,” Cassian passed her over, helping her settle in your arms, a protective hand cupping her cheek as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Well, look at that, you’re clearly some sort of baby whisperer.”

Smiling down at her, you gently tickled her with your pointer finger, grinning as her feet started kicking, her sweet melodic laugh filling the room. Cassian hurriedly pulled the rest of his gear together, sending lingering looks over to the pair of you as he did so.

“Everything alright?” You asked as you sat on the green velvet couch, Ottie still in your arms. You knew how hard it could be for the parents, having a complete stranger looking after their children, so you tried to give Cassian the chance to ask any questions or dispel any concerns before he left.

“Yeah, yeah sorry of course. All fine.” He seemed to hesitate before leaning against the table as he watched Ottie, a loving smile gracing his features. “Sorry,” a sheepish expression replaced that smile as he met your eye, “it’s the first time I’m leaving her, and I can’t seem to make myself walk out the door.”

You softly laughed, trying to ease his tension as you said, “That’s completely normal. If it helps, is there a way I can get in touch with you while you’re out? That way you’ll know straight away if something happens?”

He gave you a grateful smile but shook his head, “No it’s nothing like that. After everything I’ve heard Elain say about you, I trust you with her completely. It’s more so that I just don’t want to be away from her, don’t want to miss anything, you know? Even if it’s just the same smile I’ve already seen a hundred times,” He chuckled as he got up to press a kiss to the top of her head, then her cheeks, then her tiny, clenched hands. “Trust me, I know how pathetic this sounds, I don’t even know why I’m telling you, but I just really love hanging out with her. It’s just been the two of us against the world, especially after everything that happened with…” He suddenly stopped, as if catching what he was about to say.

“Anyway, I should be off. I’m already half an hour late and have had Rhys mind yelling at me for the last 15 minutes. Thank you so much, Y/N. I should only be gone a few hours.” With a final kiss to Ottie’s cheeks, Cassian walked out the door.

"Well now, what are we going to do today, sweetheart?" You asked the small baby in your arms. She just fixed you with another smile and burst into giggles.

*****

You had spent the better part of an hour playing with Ottie, hoping to tire her out so that she would easily go down for her nap. You plan miraculously worked, after wrapping her up in a blanket and running a soothing hand over her stomach, she fell fast asleep without even the smallest fuss. Cassian was right, she was a happy baby.

You quietly closed the door behind you and headed down to the kitchen. With nothing else to do, you figured you would help by cleaning the place up. With the dishes washed and drying, the benches wiped, and rubbish taken out, you started on the piles of laundry, however, a small painting tucked behind a chair in the corner of the lounge room piked your interest.

You picked Cassian out of the painting immediately, the telltale red Siphons and overall uncanny accuracy making it an easy conclusion. You tensed upon looking at the female painted beside him. The similarities between her and your High Lady were all too familiar, this was clearly her sister, Nesta.

Quickly putting the painting back where it had been hidden you felt guilt course through you; you hadn't meant to snoop. You knew what had happened between Cassian and Nesta. Everyone knew what had happened. They had been mated for just five years before falling pregnant then two weeks after the baby, after Ottie, had been born Nesta had simply left. It was all the people of Velaris could talk about, wild rumours and stories spreading about what had happened. Eventually, the truth came out; she had left Cassian, left her baby, for Eris.

Elain had explained to you the pressure her sister had felt and had realised she was only with Cassian because everyone had said that was what the mating bond required. But she wasn't actually happy with him, and Cassian hadn't been happy with her either. Then there had been a visit to the Autumn Court, and something had sparked between Nesta and Eris. She had felt torn and confused but a baby was never something she wanted, and Eris was offering her a life where she could be her own person, not someone shadowed by her High Lady sister, according to Nesta.

Given all of this, you were surprised by how put together Cassian seemed. You couldn't imagine the conflicting emotions he would've felt with his mate leaving just days after they had had a baby. But he seemed to have picked up the pieces and, no doubt, had the support of his family during that time, but you supposed there did reach a point where his duties to the court had to be met again, and you were more than happy to step in and help where you could.

*****

Several hours later, you had just finished giving Ottie her lunch when a piece of paper appeared on the table in front of you:

Y/N, Cassian has asked that I let you know he is going to be later than anticipated and that he is very sorry for the inconvenience. However, if this doesn't work, let me know and I'll have someone over to watch Ottie as soon as possible - Rhys

You blinked.

Rhys? As in Rhysand, your High Lord? Just casually sending you a magically note? You blanched at the thought of him even knowing you existed, which, you supposed made sense, seeing that you were friends with his wife's sister.

You didn't mind staying longer to look after Ottie, but you had no way of conveying that to Rhysand or Cassian. As if your thoughts had been sent out into the abyss, a pen appeared atop the paper as if in answer to your question.

Hesitantly, you picked it up, unsure how to even start a note of this manner that would be read by your High Lord.

It's not a problem, High Lord. Please tell Cassian that I can stay as long as required - Y/N

You didn't have a chance to read over the message before it was whisked away by magic. But, shit. Cassian had introduced himself to you as Cassian, but should you have referred to him as General in your note? Had you been too informal or improper. Before you could mull over it any further, the piece of paper was back in front of you:

Lovely.

By the way, just Rhys is fine - Rhys

Well, that settled that matter.

*****

You had given Ottie her dinner and put her down for bed with little fuss. There had been a few tears once she sensed that Cassian wasn't there, but you had managed to coax her back to her happy little self by quietly singing and rubbing soothing circles across her dark mass of hair until she fell asleep.

Now you sat curled up on the couch with the makeshift dinner you had prepared and a book that had been on the bulking bookshelf that sat in the corner of the room. You were sure that Cassian wouldn't have minded your rummaging through the pantry but had made enough for him to eat once he came home just in case.

An hour or so later, you had been so engrossed in your book that you didn't hear the front door open or the heavy footsteps that padded down the hall.

"Hi," You looked up with a slight jump, having been startled by Cassian's sudden presence. He was leaning against the doorway and looked absolutely exhausted. "Y/N, I am so sorry. I was up at some of the Illyrian camps and, well, things were worse than I anticipated... I won't bore you with all that, but I am so sorry for keeping you here."

You brushed him off, noticing the tension somewhat leave his body upon realising you weren't bothered by it.

"It's fine, I promise. The High Lord... Rhys," Cassian grinned at your correction, clearly privy to the notes that had passed between the two of you, "said you were going to be late. If it wasn't going to work, I would have let him know."

Cassian offered you another grateful smile as he slumped into the armchair opposite the couch. "How was she? Not too difficult?"

"She was perfect. A few tears at bedtime but we managed to sort that out. I think she was just missing you." You could have sworn his eyes twinkled at your last comment.

"Before I head off, I cooked some dinner and left a bit to the side for you in case you were hungry when you got back. I hope you don't mind?"

"Mind? Y/N, you are honestly cauldron sent. You also cleaned? All whilst looking after Ottie. Thank you."

You felt your cheeks heat up and preyed he wouldn't notice your slight blush.

"It was nothing, seriously. I had nothing else to do while Ottie was sleeping so thought I would help out. Why don't you go up and see her? I'll get dinner heated for you."

Cassian sent another grateful smile your way before leaving the room, you laughed to yourself as you heard his steps pick up in pace as he bounded up the stairs towards his daughter's room.

*****

He came back 10 minutes later just as you were putting on your coat and collecting your belongings.

"I've left your dinner on the stove to stay warm." You said over your shoulder. He really did look exhausted.

"Thank you, you have no idea how much of a life saver you were today." You brushed off the compliment as he led you towards the front door. "Oh, before you go, we never spoke about payment? How much do I owe you?"

Honestly, you hadn't even thought about payment, it had completely slipped your mind.

"Right. Don't worry about that now–"

"Y/N, I'm not going to not pay you for today."

"No, I know. But you look like you're seconds away from passing out, no offence. So go back inside, finish your dinner then go to bed. We can sort the money part out later."

"Okay, only if you're sure? Thank you again, so much. Get home safe, alright?"

"I will. Night, Cassian."

You had barely made it to the front gate before the door was opening again.

"Y/N? Before you go, would you mind looking after Ottie again in a few days? Rhys is needing me to get back into my work, so I'll need to have someone watching her while I'm away. You're so good with her, so if you wouldn't mind..." He trailed off.

"Of course, she's an absolute angel. I would love to look after her again. Let me know when you need me."

"Okay, Goodnight. Thanks again."

*****

Over a year had passed since you first met Cassian and Ottie. After the first few weeks, Cassian had sat you down and asked if you would be happy looking after her on a more permanent basis, so you had decided on four days a week while Cassian was busy helping out Rhys and the Inner Circle. Sometimes you would stay until later into the evenings if Cassian came home with piles of paperwork, helping with Ottie's bedtime and cleaning up the house, despite Cassian's protests that it was his mess to deal with.

"Y/N?"

You had just finished feeding Ottie her dinner when Cassian appeared in the doorway. You looked up at him, waiting for him to continue as you wiped the food away from her chubby cheeks.

"Ottie is turning two on Saturday, and I was just wondering, if you weren't doing anything, if you wanted to come to her birthday party? It won't be a big thing, but she adores you and it would be nice to have you there," You smiled at him, delighted that he even considered you important enough to be there to celebrate, but before you could reply, Cassian hurriedly continued, "Of course, there's no pressure. You probably want a break from us, it is your day off after all…"

"Cass, I would love to be there." His face lit up as your response.

"Good. Okay. Great," He remained in the doorway, still softly smiling as he watched you pick up Ottie from her highchair, "Well I better... Still got some work to finish off, so..." He gestured back towards his office and then made his way out of the room.

You were caught off guard by the momentary awkwardness that seemed to radiate from him, not used to seeing him in any other way but the confident and playful General who was absolutely smitten with his little girl.

*****

Standing outside Cassian's house, you lingered on the doorstep as you hyped yourself up to knock on the door. It had only just dawned on you as you walked over that the guests at Ottie's birthday party, weren't going to be any old day-to-day fae. No, you were about to spend the afternoon with your High Lord and Lady, and their inner circle. Not a daunting prospect in the slightest.

As luck would have it, you weren't given a chance to psych yourself out before the door opened, revealing a grinning Cassian and Ottie who merrily clapped and said your name when she saw you, arms reaching out for you to hold her.

"Hello, Birthday Girl. Don't you look beautiful." She giggled as you cooed at her and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Hi, thanks for inviting me." You looked at Cassian now who was fondly watching the scene in front of him playout.

"Thanks for coming," Cassian opened the door wider for you to come inside, taking the pink gift bag you had brought with you that contained Ottie's birthday present. "Fair warning, everyone here has a bone to pick with you."

You froze, body tensing at his words.

"What?" You would have cringed at the stutter in your voice had you not been so worried. But Cassian just laughed and led you further into the house, a hand on the small of your back.

"Well, apparently since you've come along, Ottie doesn't have the time of day for anyone else. She was fussing all morning until she saw you walking up the road through the kitchen window. You seemed to have gotten lost somewhere between the gate to the door with how long you stood out there, so we thought we would see what you were doing, didn't we Ottie?" Cassian gave you a knowing smirk, clearly aware of your nerves towards who you would be spending the day with.

"Come on, I'm just joking. They're all dying to meet you."

Right on queue, a female, who you knew without needing to be told was Morrigan, jumped up from her seat as you walked into the room.

"Y/N," She squealed as she bounded over and pulled you into a tight hug, Cassian quickly grabbing Ottie out of your arms. "It's about time we all finally get to meet you. First Elain kept you all to herself, and now Cassian? If you had said no to coming today, I would have gone over to your house myself and forced you to be here."

"Mor..." Cassian's tone was laced in warning, but you immediately felt at ease in her presence.

"Come on, let's introduce you to the others."

*****

To your absolute delight, the rest of Cassian's family welcomed you into their group with open arms. Elain had jumped up and refused to leave your side once she noticed you had arrived. Having been away with Lucien for some time, it had been a while since the two of you had been able to catch up.

After the presents had been opened - Ottie had adored the fluffy bear you had gotten her - everyone was lounging outside, watching as little Nyx sat with his younger cousin in his lap, showing her all of the presents she had received and telling her the best way to play with them in order to have the most fun. Clearly the ever-destined High Lord in the making, you had grinned, already seeing the type of male he would become as Feyre and Rhys watched on sharing content smiles.

It was only then that you realised that Cassian was missing from the group. You excused yourself and headed back inside, searching the house until finally finding him in Ottie's bedroom.

"Hi," You voice was quiet as you made your presence known, unsure if he had just forgotten something up here or if he needed a moment to himself.

"Hey," He turned to face you, looking as though he had just been pulled out of some sort of trance. However, his lopsided smile was quick to return as he said, "sorry for leaving you out there with that lot."

Letting out a laugh you walked into the room, "They're really not that bad. Imagine what the other courts would think if they ever saw the High Lord of the Night Court dressed up in a pink tutu with a fluffy matching crown on his head."

Cassian laughed at that, smile widening as the voices and shrill giggles from outside echoed through the bedroom window, but that reserved expression was quick to reappear.

"You alright?" You quietly asked, already having a sense of what was eating him up.

"Yeah, fine." A glance at your unconvinced expression had Cassian letting out a low sigh before continuing. "I thought she would've at least shown up today. I know she wants no part in this, but it's still her daughter’s birthday. For Ottie's sake, I thought she would've shown. She needs her mum."

You let out a sigh of your own now, crossing the space between you and wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug.

Pulling away you said, "Cass, I get it. Believe me I do. But Ottie is doing just fine. You're absolutely amazing with her and it's so special watching the two of you together. And in terms of her needing her mum, look at all the amazing females Ottie has in her life: Mor, Feyre, Elain, Amren. There's no short supply of love for her, if anything, Nesta is the one missing out on this."

The words had rushed out of you without being able to truly process what you had said. You and Cassian had never directly spoken about Nesta, it had always been an unspoken awareness that you knew what had happened and that was enough. Looking at the ground, you could feel yourself tensing with worry at the thought of having overstepped.

"And she has you."

"What?"

"And Ottie has you. You were listing off the amazing females she has in her life but missed the one who she spends the most time with. The one who she loves the most."

There was no stopping the blush that crept over your face as you stared back at Cassian.

"Cass-"

But the sounds of hurried little footsteps running up the stairs interrupted whatever you had been about to say.

"Uncle Cass, Uncle Cass," Nyx burst into the room, dramatically taking in deep breathes as he waved up at you.

"What is it, bud?" Cassian shot you a bemused glance, still somewhat laced with the intensity from before, then knelt in front of Nyx who lifted his arms and placed his little hands on Cassian's shoulders.

"It's cake time. Come on." Then he was running out of the room again.

"You'd think it was the end of the world with the entrance he just made." You let out a laugh but before you could respond, Nyx was bursting back in.

"Come on." He yelled, grabbing you and Cassian by the hand, and forcing you down the stairs to where Elain had just finished lighting the candles on top of the cake.

*****

The rest of the afternoon raced by, so fast, in fact, that you didn't have time to process the moment you and Cassian had shared until you were home. The intensity in his expression as he stared at you and the implication of his words... Your heart was racing at the mere thought.

Letting out a groan you tossed and turned in your bed, unable to settle your racing thoughts at the realisation that you had, somehow, without even being aware of it starting, had begun to fall for Cassian. To make matters even worse, you had no idea where you truly stood with him. Despite the closeness and friendship that had formed, he was technically still your boss.

You had a whole day before you were due back to look after Ottie. A whole 24 hours to figure out how you wanted to move forward in the wake of this realisation.

*****

Monday morning arrived much too quickly for your liking. It wasn't until the door opened and Cassian greeted you on the other side of it that you decided you weren't going to do anything about your feelings. He had been emotional the other day, grieving what he thought was missing from his daughter's life and, honestly, you thought to yourself, he probably hadn't even intended it to come out the way you had perceived it. He wasn't wrong, you did spend a lot of time with her. But you were paid to do so, so did it really count?

"Morning, Y/N? Have a good rest of you weekend?" Oh, sure it had been fantastic. Just a nice dose of inner turmoil. But of course, you didn't say any of that.

"I did," You smiled at him, acting as though your insides weren't currently screaming out. "Did Ottie have a good birthday? It was so nice meeting everyone."

As Cassian got ready to leave, your usual chatter filled the space as you made yourself a coffee, but you couldn't help but notice that his usual, carefree smile didn't quite meet his eyes, and that he seemed to be watching you as though waiting or assessing something.

"Alright, well I might be home a bit later tonight, if that's alright?" You brushed him off, of course it was alright, it always was. You sat down next to Ottie as she continued to happily munch away on her breakfast. "Okay, bye Ottie, you'll be good for Y/N today?" He pressed a kiss to her cheek before turning back to you, "See you later, yeah?"

"Mhm," You replied, "have a good day."

"You too." Then he was leaning down and pressing a kiss to your cheek as well before standing up and leaving as though nothing had happened.

What. The. Fuck.

You stared at the empty door frame he had walked through, only half hearing the front door close as he took off.

Again.

What. The. Fuck.

You turned to look at Ottie, as though she would provide you with some sort of explanation as to what just happened, or to confirm that it had even happened in the first place, that it wasn't just something you had imagined.

But she provided you with no deeper insight as she sat in her seat, happily kicking her little feet and giggling to herself. Upon noticing you watching her, she gave you one of her big cheesy grins you had grown to love and offered you a piece of the fruit Cassian had cut up for her.

*****

What. The. Fuck.

Cassian's heart was racing as he flew up to the House of Wind. What had he done?

Clearly you were more than happy to ignore his complete lack of control from the other day, when he all but said you were basically like a mum to Ottie. He was surprised he hadn't scared you off, especially when all you had signed up for was to be her babysitter, which was a harsh truth in itself that Cassian found himself constantly having to remember whenever he watched you and his daughter interact and he felt his heart stammer in his chest.

And then to turn around and kiss you on the cheek before leaving for work - as you turned up for work, he had to remind himself, again - as though it was a normal morning, between a normal little family...

He felt sick.

He had really screwed up.

"What's wrong with you today?" Azriel asked as Cassian landed with an ungrateful grunt next to the training ring located on the roof.

"Nothing."

"You sure?" Rhys now asked, sensing Cassian's inner turmoil even through the steadfast mental shield he had up around his mind.

With a grumble, Cassian lowered said shield, giving Rhys a look at what had occurred that morning. Scowling even deeper when Rhys let out a bark of a laugh. The snicker that followed from Azriel as Rhys showed him what had happened sent Cassian marching into the training ring, readying himself to forget his stupidity as Azriel approached to spar with him.

*****

He hadn't even got half an hour into his training before pulling up short, his mind was too distracted.

"Should I have stayed?" He blurtedly asked.

"What?" Unbeknownst to Cassian, Rhys and Az had been having a silent conversation whilst he had been spaced out.

"This morning. With Y/N. Should I have stayed and, I don't know, talked about it?"

He missed the glance his brother's shared.

"Well," Rhys started. "What would you have talked about?"

"I don't know, what is there to talk about?" Cassian snapped back, frustration and worry getting the better of him the more he thought about what he might now lose.

"Would you have tried to pass it off as a joke, or explain it away?" Rhys cautiously asked, trying to judge which direction Cassian's mind was heading in.

"Or would you have stayed and finally admitted your feelings to her?” Azriel interjected.

"My feelings?"

"Yes, you idiot. And the fact that you're in love with her."

"I'm not in love with..." Cassian trailed off though. He was, he absolutely was, and there was no point in denying it.

Azriel scoffed, "Please, you're in love with her. We've never seen you like this before with anyone."

"Well, Nesta-" Cassian tried to counter but Rhys cut him off.

"Nesta wasn't love. That was the mating bond, you've said as much to us multiple times so don't try to deflect now."

Cassian let out a deep sigh, he wasn't expected home for a few hours and a plan was starting to form in his mind.

*****

You had been surprised, but pleased all the same, when Feyre turned up with Nyx.

"Y/N! Hi, how are you?" You still weren't quite used to the casualness that surrounded the rulers of your court but did your best to act as though being in their presence wasn't one of the most intimidating things you had ever experienced.

"I'm good. What are you doing here?"

"Well, it's such a lovely day, Nyx and I thought it would be nice to get you and Ottie over to ours for the afternoon."

"Oh, thank you. Are you sure though?"

"Of course, we can walk back now. Go along the Sidra if you'd like?

"Easy, let me just grab Ottie's things."

Feyre shut the door behind you, Nyx already running over to where Ottie sat with her toys and planting a big kiss to her cheek.

"There's no need to grab much. Cass bought double ups of basically everything and has them stored at ours for when we look after her. Just yourselves will do."

You smiled warmly at her before scooping Ottie up, "Do you want to go play at Auntie Feyre's with Nyx?

Her excited squeals were enough of an answer, still, she excitedly said "yes, yes, yes, yes, yes," as you headed out the door, watching as her and Nyx ran ahead of the two of you.

*****

The afternoon spent with Feyre was the perfect distraction from your racing thoughts after what had happened with Cassian that morning.

The two of you chatted outside until the sun started to set, watching Ottie and Nyx run around across the grass.

"Well, hello, Feyre, Y/N." Rhys greeted as he walked out to join you, still dressed in his leathers, clearly having just got home.

You said hi back, watching with a laugh as Ottie caught sight of who now stood with you.

"Uncle Rhysie." She yelled, her little feet pounding across the grass as she leapt into his arms.

"Hello, princess. How's my favourite girl?" Ottie giggled at the nickname and hugged into him even tighter, "What do you say to a sleepover tonight, Ots?"

Turning to you, Ottie still in his arms, Rhys said, "Cass is fine with it. I think he needed you to head back at some point before going home tonight though."

"Oh, alright. Well, I might head off now then. Bye Ottie." She looked around at you, eyes wide as she wriggled out of Rhys' hold and ran over to you.

"You're not staying?" Her lip started to quiver so you quickly wrapped her up into a hug before the tears started.

"Not tonight, sweetheart. But we can play all day tomorrow, yeah?" She seemed to contemplate this for a moment before deciding it was acceptable enough and planted a kiss on your cheek before running back over to Nyx.

Feyre and Rhys were both smiling at you, clearly watching, and overhearing the entire interaction.

"What?" You asked with a laugh.

"Nothing, you're just really good with her."

"Oh, well..." You trailed off, not sure what to say as Rhys' words from before struck. Cassian needed to talk to you about something and, well, shit, clearly you were about to get fired, or, more kindly, were about to be told your ‘services were no longer required’.

"I'll see you both later. Goodnight." You missed the conspiratorial grin they shared behind your back, Rhys letting his thoughts drift over to Cassian's mind to tell him you were on your way.

*****

The house was dark when you got back, the only form of light was coming from the study and, from the looks of it, the backyard.

"Cass?" You called out as you closed the door behind you.

Hurried movements sounded from his office, then Cassian was quickly walking towards you.

"Y/N. Hi."

"Hi."

You felt as though your entire body was on guard. You needed to explain that you could easily put your feelings aside, but losing the chance of being in Ottie and Cassian's lives was something that filled you with dread, you would be happy to stay on in whatever capacity you could.

"Do you... Do you want to talk?" Cassian's nervousness was unsettling, yet you followed as he led you towards the couch.

"What are you doing tonight?"

That wasn't the question you were expecting.

You hesitated before answering, "Just going home I guess."

He seemed to contemplate your answer, looking so much like Ottie did earlier when you were saying goodbye.

"Dinner?" His voice was strained, leaving you even more confused.

"Um, yeah I'll be having dinner."

"No... Ugh this isn't working." He leant his head against the back of the couch, running his hands over his face.

"Cassian, are you alright?"

"Yes. No. I don't know." You were stunned, maintaining your silence as Cassian continued. "This morning, Y/N, I'm sorry. I don't know what that was, it just happened without me thinking about what I was doing. And then everything I said at Ottie's birthday. And now, fucks sake..." He trailed off again, leaving you just as confused as he blurted out "I need to have dinner."

"Oh, sure," You felt as though you were waiting for the other shoe to drop, as if his bizarre behaviour was some sort of test. "Did you want me to heat something up? I think there's still some frozen pasta from the other night." You went to stand but Cassian placed a hand on your knee to stop you before quickly pulling it away.

"No, it's alright. I've got it sorted." Then he was standing, offering you his hand as he guided you towards the back door.

You froze at the sight before you. Candles flickered across the table and the deck, a table set for two, lined with trays of food and a bottle of wine which sat in the middle of it all.

"Cass?"

"Look, Y/N, I get it if this is completely out of line. If it is then I am so sorry. But I needed you to know that this, whatever this is between us, means something to me."

You couldn't move, you were stuck on the spot as Cassian continued, the flickering lights casting a shadow across his handsome features.

"It's not even because you're so good with Ottie. I mean, you are, you're amazing with her and she adores you, so, so much. But it's how you treat me. Even that first time you looked after her, I was so close to crumbling. I felt so torn, between staying home and looking after my baby girl, but also knowing I needed to step back into reality and my responsibilities. It wasn't fair on the others that they had to pick up my slack."

You tried to interject, to say something about how the others wouldn't have minded, not one bit, especially with everything Cassian had been going through at the time, but he was already moving on.

"Not going to lie, I was reluctant when Elain first told me about you. It was nothing to do with you," He quickly clarified, "But more so because you were a complete stranger to me, and as much as Elain vouched for you, I still felt wary."

"Then you walked in and that first time you held her; I swear my heart skipped a beat. Even with Elain and Feyre, it took them ages to be able to hold her without Ottie bursting into tears. But with you, it all just seemed to fall into place." His voice was beginning to shake, and you silently wiped the tears from your eyes as he kept talking.

"But if anything, Y/N, it's the way you make me feel. Before even knowing me, you had me convinced that I wasn't completely failing at being her dad, that even though everything was well and truly fucked up, she was doing just fine. You helped me realise that I was going to be fine as well."

Cassian approached you now, calloused hands reaching up to your cheeks as he wiped away the rest of your tears with his thumbs. "So, I guess what I'm trying to say, and what I'm not doing a very good job of getting across, is that I love you?"

A watery laugh left you at the overall Cassian-ness of the statement, the sound making him grin lovingly at you.

"I love you, Y/N. And I am so thankful for the day that you walked into our lives and changed them for the better. And, assuming I haven't completely misread the situation, and assuming that those are happy tears," He laughed, his own eyes beginning to well. "I was wondering if you would like to have dinner with me?"

With his hands still on your cheeks, you brought your arms up around his neck and pulled him down so that his face was level with yours.

"I thought you were going to fire me." You whispered.

A cheeky smile passed over Cassian's face, "Well, technically, I suppose I am? I can't have my...whatever you are to me now, being paid to look after my kid now, can I?"

"How romantic. Being fired then called your 'whatever'."

"We'll figure that out later." Cassian murmured against your lips.

"Yes, I suppose we will." Then you were leaning forward, lips pressing to his, feeling as though you were finally home.

*****

Part 2

There are so many opportunities for bonus spin-offs that I’m excited to write but if you want to see any particular scenario, let me know 🥰

[otomehonyaku]

a reader's guide to otomehonyaku ☽ translation masterpost & request guidelines (updated 15 Dec. '24)

you can call me Ottie (she/her)! 20s, DiaLovers translator & writer

posting weekly, mostly on Saturdays or Sundays

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Please DO NOT REUSE OR REPOST ANY OF MY TRANSLATIONS OR WRITING ELSEWHERE, in any form whatsoever, or RETRANSLATE MY WORK INTO OTHER LANGUAGES WITHOUT MY EXPLICIT PERMISSION. If you have any questions regarding retranslating or reposting, please DM me!

Currently working on...

Diabolik Lovers More,Blood Stellaworth Complete Tokuten Short Stories ☽ All 10 characters (Next up are Shuu and Reiji!)

Upcoming translations

Diabolik Lovers More,Blood Character Popularity Poll Short Story ☽ Subaru ver.

Diabolik Lovers Chaos Lineage Drama CDs ☽ Vol. 3 (Orange, 4 tracks)

Diabolik Lovers Grand Edition Special Booklet ☽ Year-End Pandemonium (Sakamaki short story)

Diabolik Lovers Vandead Carnival Special Voice CD

Surprise long-form story from one of the tokuten booklets

Diabolik Lovers Chaos Lineage Special Booklet ☽ Short Story (Scarlet ver.)

Diabolik Lovers Chaos Lineage Special Booklet ☽ Short Story (Violet ver.)

Diabolik Lovers Official Anime Novelization ☽ Chapter 4

Note: Please be aware that list is subject to change. If something exciting pops up, I might alternate this list with other translations─in this case, please refer to the 'currently translating' section above to see what I'm working on!

Mainline Diabolik Lovers instalments

☽  DIABOLIK LOVERS: GRAND EDITION ☽ INCLUDING HAUNTED DARK BRIDAL & MORE,BLOOD

☽  DIABOLIK LOVERS: VANDEAD CARNIVAL ☽

☽  DIABOLIK LOVERS: LOST EDEN ☽

☽  DIABOLIK LOVERS: CHAOS LINEAGE ☽

Mainline drama CD series

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As a rule of thumb, Diabolik Lovers-related translations are always my priority and I sometimes write for fun. I do not take requests for writing (short stories, headcanons, reacts, scenarios and the like), though paid commissions are negotiable! Creative writing is quite a personal and subjective thing for me, so I tend to be selective as I want to ensure that I have enough inspiration and fun while writing in order to deliver a quality product. Please reach out through DM if you’d like to discuss a paid commission! Thank you for your understanding ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

When requesting/commissioning a translation, please be aware of the following: ☽ Please provide the source materials which you would like to have translated. I do not have the financial means nor the time to personally buy all of the drama CDs or tokuten for all 13 characters, for example, so if you want something translated: please include a link to the source materials. These could be links to audio files on SoundCloud and BiliBili, or links to Tumblr posts with scans of short stories or interviews and the like. ☽ In all cases, it is your own responsibility to ensure that the source materials—particularly fan-made artwork and scans—have been acquired with full permission from the original poster. If the original poster has NOT given you permission to repost or reuse/translate the materials in question, I will NOT translate them. ☽ This probably goes without saying, but I do these translations for fun—I enjoy doing them, but I am also busy in my daily life. I will try my best to finish and post the translation as soon as possible after your request, but I give no guarantees on how long they will take. I do work relatively quickly given my current language skills in Japanese, but the time I can spend on translating varies per week. ☽ If you would like me to translate Japanese-language materials from other otome franchises or pop culture related things, please consult with me and I’ll see what I can do! ☽ DO NOT REPOST ANY OF MY TRANSLATIONS ELSEWHERE, IN ANY FORM WHATSOEVER (INCLUDING VIDEO), OR TRANSLATE MY WORK TO OTHER LANGUAGES WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.

[suugarbabe]

Saving Grace V||

Chapter 7 | FINAL CHAPTER

Word count: ~2.9k

Warning: fluffy fluff

an: this is the LAST chapter. I will not be adding any more to this series. I loved writing it, but it’s time to move on to the next. I’m totally open to asks about side details or mini blurbs if you would like but otherwise we have ended with saving grace 🖤 not proof read either sorry xx

Featherlight touches along the outside of your arm are what woke you from your slumber. You turned on to your back only to be welcomed by velvet soft lips attaching themselves to the underside of your jaw. You couldn’t help the smile that spread to your face, “Good morning to you too, Matty.” You felt him smile against your skin, “Every morning is good when I wake up to you in my bed.”

You duck further into Mattheo’s chest as a pillow is thrown toward the both of you. “Can you guys not be so sickening in the morning, you’re going to make me vomit and I haven’t even fully woken up,” Draco’s morning rasp make his complaint sound more serious then he truly meant, but you and Mattheo laughed all the same.

“You’ll never be in a relationship with that attitude, Cousin,” Mattheo teased the older boy, only to be told to sod off as Draco rolled back over. Mattheo turned back to you, “We’re not sickening are we? Have I gone soft?” You pecked his lips in a chaste kiss, “Never, darling. You’re still intimidating, don’t worry.”

Mattheo smirked at you humoring him, “Well, Princess, I hope I’m not intimidating to you because I have something to ask.” You raised your eyebrows in anticipation, “Go on.”

He rested his palm against your cheek, his eyes filled with adoration. He traced the apples of your cheeks with thumb, wetting his lips with his tongue before he spoke. “Angel, would you do me the honors of going to the Yule ball with me?”

The grin that appeared on your face must have been infectious because Mattheo mirrored it immediately. “A thousand times yes,” you grabbed hold of the back of his neck, pulling him in for a deep kiss. He hummed against your lips, slightly stunned at your boldness but soon echoed your passion, grabbing hold of your waist and pulling you to straddle his hips.

He sat up, lips still connected, tongues battling for dominance as his hands squeezed and needed at the flesh of your thighs and bum. You ran your hands down his strong chest, nails raking against the muscles on his abdomen eliciting a low groan from Mattheo. However, before anything could get too heated, three pillows collided with your bodies, all thrown from different directions of the room.

You broke apart from Mattheo, grabbing hold of a rogue pillow and whipping it at the nearest bed to you. “Ow, what the fuck, Mattheo control your woman,” Theo was rubbing the side of his head where the pillow had connected.

Mattheo grinned, giving your bum another full squeeze, “She’s uncontrollable, Nott. You’d know if you had any balls third year.” You gasped, mouth in a wide smile as you smacked Mattheo’s chest. He grabbed hold of your wrists, leaning in for another kiss amidst the groans of his dorm mates.

Xx

The next two weeks were a whirlwind of planning for you; planning your dress, planning Mattheo’s dress robes, planning your hair, your makeup. Thankfully, Pansy, Ottie, Darcy and Flora were by your side the entire time. Unsurprisingly Pansy had agreed to go with Draco to the ball, but what was surprising was your other three friends agreeing to go with Enzo, Theo and Blaise.

You were thrilled that your friends would be able to go with the same group as you; this made going dress shopping more enjoyable. You had fought Mattheo for two days about him buying your dress; eventually, you lost, but that also meant that you could pick any dress you wanted, regardless of the price tag.

That is how you ended up with the floor length emerald number you were in whilst getting ready with the rest of the group in your dorm. Green really was your color, and the slit that ran up to your hip was sure to drive Mattheo mad, which you were more than happy about. Once your hair and makeup was done, you and the other girls made your way down to the common room to meet the boys.

As you descended down the stairs, Mattheo’s back was turned, talking with his cousin and the rest of the group. Even from the back he was handsome. His dress robes fitting him perfectly, showing off his strong broad shoulders and lean back. His curls seem to fall perfectly from what you could see and it made your heart race in your chest at how lucky you really got all those months ago.

With a nudge from Draco, Mattheo turned, his face dropping in awe. Mattheo’s breath seemed to still as he took you in, how the green silk seemed to hug you in all the right places, how your black strappy heels wrapped around the small of your ankle, how the necklace your mother gave you sat perfectly in the dip of your collarbone; you were an angel ascending from Heaven, there to finally take him away.

Your hand on his cheek finally pulled him from his trance, “Seems you’re the one off in a daze this evening, Mattheo.” Your smile was teasing but Mattheo couldn’t help the bashfulness that spread across his cheeks. “You look…absolutely ravishing, Princess. I don’t know how I have been so blessed to be in the presence of an angel tonight.”

Your cheeks burned scarlet at the compliment. Draco rolled his eyes beside you, “Oi, you’ve already got her to date you, cousin. No need for the sappy sentiments. We’re gonna be late.” Mattheo scowled at the older boy, his face calming only when you laced your fingers with his, “Why the rush, Malfoy. Your group is notoriously late, tonight is going to be no different.”

Enzo hooked his arm with Ottie’s as he led the group toward the common room exit, “We prefer to call it ‘making an entrance’. And with you on my arm, love, it will be the grandest entrance of them all.” Ottie blushed, looking down to the ground.

You faked a gag, turning to Mattheo, “We were never that bad, were we?” Mattheo shook his head, seemingly agreeing, however Blaise was quick to speak behind you, “I’m sorry, were you not just with us two minutes ago. Bruv was essentially making up his own Shakespeare back there.”

You stuck your tongue out, Blaise doing the same in return. Mattheo gave your hand a light squeeze, silently assuring you he liked being cheesy with you. The group made consistent small talk on the walk to the Great Hall. Mogonagall and Flitwick standing at the entrance and welcoming students.

The hall had never looked so beautiful to you. Instead of the four long house tables, there were instead many round tables along the outside edge of the hall. A stage had replaced the head table in the front, a band playing light music for dinner time. The enchanted ceiling displayed light glowing clouds with different constellations in the background popping in and out with the different movement of the simulated sky above.

As you sat, Mattheo to your left, you crossed your legs. Mattheo’s eyes nearly bugged from his skull as your entire left leg was displayed due to the slit in your dress. His large hand immediately spread across the top of your thigh, “Are you trying to kill me, woman? Or get someone else killed?”

You batted your eyelashes with innocence, “Why would you kill someone?” A playful smirk was dancing on your lips. Mattheo was unsure if he was aroused or scared by this; possibly both. “Princess, I’m not sure if I could control myself if some tosser got a look at half of your body being displayed right now.

You had to suppress a snort, “Mattheo, hardly half my body is out. Bit dramatic you’re being.” Mattheo’s grip on your leg tightened slightly, sending a jolt to your core as he leaned in to whisper in your ear, “You know I don’t like to share what’s mine, Princess.”

Goosebumps were surely rising on your neck from his breath being so close, but you did your best to keep your composure and earlier teasing nature, “I thought you said before it didn’t matter what I wore, that it was okay because what was it you said,” you tapped your chin, pretending to wrack your brain for the phrase, “Oh, that’s right. Because you could fight.”

Mattheo’s smirk made you smile, “Is that what you want, pretty girl? You want me to fight on this special night?” You placed your hand on his thigh, mirroring his earlier gesture and giving it a light squeeze, “Well, seeing you fight does rile me up a bit.” Mattheo grinned as he leaned close to you again, catching your lips briefly before you were pulling away with a hand on his chest, “Wait, why is tonight special? What have you got planned, Riddle?”

Mattheo’s confident facade faltered slightly, his eyes going wide and him stumbling on his words, “W-Oh, just, you know, just that it’s a ball and it only happens once a year.” He captured your lips quickly in a bruising kiss, seemingly distracting you for the time being before going back to conversations with his friends around the table.

After dinner, the real music began and students began flooding the dance floor. It was nice to see everyone relaxing and enjoying the night together, regardless of house or status. Even Draco was loose and relaxed, dancing jovially with Pansy. As the upbeat music began to change to a slow song, you felt a familiar palm rest against the curve of your bum.

Mattheo’s lips brushed against the shell of his ear, a smile evident on his lips even though you couldn’t see him, “May I have the honor of this dance?” You turned around, wrapping your arms around his neck, “I would love nothing more.” Mattheo’s hands rested on your hips as you both swayed to the music playing.

“I wonder who you would’ve ended up here with if I didn’t heroically save you all those months ago,” Mattheo smirked. Without missing a beat you wittily replied, “Probably Theo.” Mattheo squeezed your hips, causing a small squeal to erupt from your lips, “I’m kidding! I dunno, can’t really see myself here with anyone else but you.”

He must have not expected such an honest answer as a tint of blush coated his cheeks. “I think I would’ve asked you.” His statement took you off guard, “Wha-wait, really?” Before you had come up to him that day for help, you and Mattheo had never even spoken before. Glances sure, but no more than any other person from any other student, or so you thought.

You could tell Mattheo was getting nervous, his eye contact with you less frequent, gnawing on his bottom lip as he searched for the right words, “I, erm, sort of had a bit of a crush on you for a while. I know Enzo told you, Theo can’t keep his mouth shut for shit.”

The laugh the left your lips caused Mattheo to smile, relaxing a little more as he continued, “Cousin had been encouraging me all summer to just approach you when the school year started, I just…didn’t know how. So when you found me that day in the hall, begging me for help I just…I saw it as an opportunity to spend time with you, get to know you. And you could get to know me.”

“So when you said this arrangement could help both of us…” you trailed off as Mattheo nodded. “I meant it was helping me get closer to you. Hopefully helping you get to know me. The real me, not what everyone paints me out to be. The Dark Lord's son, the broody bad boy with no heart. So when we started all this I was over the bloody moon. I know I was being selfish with all the touching and stolen kisses.”

“To be fair, you did warn me,” you smiled at him. “Yeah, I did,” he laughed, “and then you said you were falling for me. Merlin, I thought I just won the fucking Quidditch World Cup I was so happy. I don’t think I’ve come down from that night, the happiness I feel when I’m with you. It’s never ending, Princess. I-I, erm…”

You placed your hands on either side of his face, holding him so he had to keep eye contact with you. You could see it in his eyes, the raw emotion he was feeling, how hard it was for him to be this vulnerable, you decided to make it a little easier on him. “I love you, Mattheo.”

If you had a camera you would’ve taken a picture of the smile that elicited Mattheo’s face, pure joy rang in his eyes before he crashed his lips to yours in a searing kiss. “I love you so much,” he mumbled against your lips, “I love you,” kiss, “I love you,” kiss, “so fucking much.”

You giggled against his lips, pushing him back so you could properly talk again, “I love you, too, Mattheo. Really, really fucking love you.” He kissed you again, this time more fiercely, not caring where the two of you were or who was around. He bit your bottom lip, pulling back lightly as he groped and grabbed at your bum before you slapped his arm in warning, “Mattheo! Not here, wait till later.” While your tone did not match your warning, Mattheo ceased his assault on your lips and body, “I’m sorry, love. I just can’t resist you.”

Mattheo could see the gears turning in your head as your brows furrowed, “Is that why you said tonight was going to be special? Because you were going to tell me you loved me?”

Another blush dusted across his cheeks to the tips of his ears, “Too cheesy?” You shook your head, taking your bottom lip between your teeth, “No, s’just perfect from someone who saved me.” You cupped his cheek, tracing the curve of his cheek bone with your thumb, “I don’t think I can ever thank you enough for what you did for me.”

Mattheo’s smile turned devilish, “I think you’ve thanked me plenty, but I have another idea or two if you’d like to try them out.” You laughed lightly, slapping his chest playfully. “Mattheo Marvelo, you dirty minded man.”

He shrugged his shoulders, “Can you blame me? Look at you, at this dress,” he spun you around, “bloody gorgeous, my love. I could take you back to my dorm right now if you’d let me.”

“So do it.” Your bold statement caught him off guard, eyes widening. You couldn’t suppress the smirk that graced your face, “You’re not dreaming, Matty. I’m being serious.” You twirled one of the curls framing his face around your finger before letting it go.

Mattheo didn’t even give you time to properly say goodbye to the others before he was dragging you toward the dungeons, having you a giggling mess the entire time. He had you pressed up against the corridor walls several times on the way down, leaving what you were sure were bruising kisses and marks along your neck and collarbone.

“Mattheo,” you giggled breathlessly as he had you pinned against the wall beside his dorm door. “Hmm,” he hummed against your skin. “I love you.” He looked up at you, pupils blown in a mix of love and lust, “Merlin I could hear you say that every day for the rest of my life.”

You pulled him in by his collar, lips brushing against his feather light, “That’s the plan.”

Taglist:

@v1olentdelights @cherry-hoe @itsamusical4lifee @chaosartic @l4venderia @mypolicemanharryyy @ma-las @usmell4 @carav4l @jinxxangel13 @stvrligghtt @taylors--version @classicfandomavenue @lucyispan @moonlightreader649 @badasseddy @icecube1912 @kezibear @little-miss-naill @laurajmcmanus @onlyangel-444 @unstablereader @aunicornmademedoit @im-unwellbabe @fairydimples07

[damnasstyles]

I just sent a request but didn't realize i literally sent that same exact one like months ago omg I'm embarrassed. .. but can you do a dad!harry one of his first time alone with the baby 😭

hii!! i’m so sorry it’s taken me forever to write this, but it’s finally here! hope you like it! ❤️

*jesus i'm editing this on august 2024, i had completely forgotten i'd never published this lol, soz. anyways! edited it a bit and finished it so here you go! x*

880 words. Enjoy! x

_______

Ottilie was 12 weeks old and it had been over four months since yn had been out with her friends, whether that'd been for lunch, dinner, a party or just a coffee. This is why Harry had arranged for her to have a day out with her friends. Well, more than arranged, he strongly encouraged her to go out with them. She had been turning them down ever since Ottilie was born, but it was about damn time she got some quality yn time and get away from the mommy role for just a few hours.

This, of course, led to the situation Harry was in right now: covered in puke with a crying and smelly baby who refuses to leave her father’s arms. 

“C’mon, sweet pea, we gotta take the onesie off and shower, alright? It’ll be twoooo seconds” He rocked her back and forth for a few more seconds before laying her down on the changing mat, which caused her to shriek harder than before. “I know, baby girl, III know, it’s alright, it’s okay” He tried to calm her down while getting her clothes off as quick as he can, his hand tickling her belly gently in an effort to cheer her up. "It’s ookaay, babyyy, look! All ready! Let’s take a warm bath to make you feel better, yeah?” He undressed himself at quick speed and opened the water tap. There was no way he was going to bathe her by herself since she was so fussy, not having as much skin to skin contact with her daddy as possible would make her even fussier. Such a daddy's girl.

He leaned forward over her and lifted her up, laying her on his chest, before walking into the walk-in shower. He had grabbed a small towel to cover Ottie with before walking in, so warm water would soak her but not fall directly over her. The warmth of Harry's chest, the soft drops of water on her back and her daddy's heartbeat seemed to soothe her a bit, though she could not seem to settle down fully.

"That's much better isn't it, bug? Hm?" A soft head kiss always made his heart flutter. "We have nice warm water now, and we're getting cleaned uupp" His soft tone never failed to soothe Ottie. From the moment he knew he was going to be a father, he started reading parenting books like it was his new religion. There was one specific chapter he read that stuck with him the most. It focused on the language development of the baby, and how narrating what was happening to them built better language foundations and encouraged faster acquisition. Since he'd read that book, he'd talk to the belly every single day without fail. Most days it'd be for an hour, but even in the most exhausting days he'd never skip at least a 10 minute monologue with Ottie in utero.

"Is your tummy hurting again, little bug? S'that why you got sick all over daddy and did a big explosive poo? That's okay, it happens to the best of us. We'll finish this niice shower in a minute, and we'll do some bicycle legs once you're in your cosy little pyjamas hm? How's that sound?" He booped her nose playfully with a soft and loving smile, making Ottie squint just a bit before letting out a soft sound, a mix between a giggle and a whine.

Once little Ottie was thoroughly clean, Harry stepped out of the shower and quickly wrapped her into a new clean and dry towel, making sure she was well wrapped before he laid her down on the changing table and pulled his dirty boxers back on. He'd get a proper shower and change of clothes once Ottie was more settled.

He put Ottie into a fresh nappy and cosy pyjamas in record time, and took her to his and yn's bed. After he sat himself against the headboard, he laid Ottie between his spread legs, on the mattress. "Theeeee wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round. The wheels on the bus go round and round, aaall daaay looonggg" Harry sang as he moved her little baby chubby legs up and down, one at a time, at the same time, side to side, circle-wise, any way that'd help her release the suspected gas inside her. And it worked! The moment he pushed both her leggies up and against her belly at the same time, gently yet firm, she let one rip that it made the bed covers shake! "Oop!" He said stopping his singing, little Ottie let a cute relieved "ah" sigh before a big smile and squeal appeared on her face. Harry bursted out laughing as she picked her up and kissed her cheek repeatedly. "That was one naaasty gas, bubba! Good job!"

****************

If you want to read more about harry and ottie's adventures, check out my masterlist here and feel free to send in requests!

[ottpopfic]

Hey there Ottie!! Another apotheosis question, Lettie, what’s she doing when she dead

She's just fucking chilling

I've been waffling on her death for a while. Katie definitely goes first, and I like that in Katie’s goddess myth she marries a dryad (Lettie) even if that is not accurate.

Lettie is actually very flushed out even if a lot of her stuff isn't mentioned in writing, its hard to show with how quiet she can be and how she has her own friend group seprate from Katie. Lettie is mostly friends with nature sprits, she was half-raised by the live oak dryads on her mom's property. She spends a lot of time visiting all of the dryads she knows, she's one of the first mortals who befriended the Bonzais as dryads and not just bikers, she acts as an demigod ambassador for nature sprits at times when she's older

So on one hand, would be super dope for her to be turned into a dryad when she dies, or even just her body becoming a tree. But I also don't want to separate the girls, they deserve to be together. I think its probably something in the middle, but Lettie always comes and goes she's supposed to be a Persephone parallel after all

[astrottis]

𝐀𝐛𝗼𝐮𝐭

𝐁𝐥𝗼𝐠

This blog is directed to the following: Male, Enby, Trans-Men, etc readers, I dont specialize in fem writing as I've seen quite a bit of it and feel a lot of the following need a safe place to read!

I do not tolerate bigotry, xenophobia, racism, etc on my blog and you will be kicked from anon and the blog as a whole if I find you doing any such thing.

This blog may go inactive for a few days on and off, im a part time hs student and I work most the time with my days usually not ending until 7pm-8pm with an hour drive back home. Please bear with me!

𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫

Hello! You can call me Ottis, Oty, Oats, or Otter, though I don't care, most of these are nicknames and I use They/Them or He/Him, I am nonbinary! Im 18 years old.

I'm competitive in the equine sport/event community and enjoy riding. I work part time training ponies up to level 2 dressage, event, and low level hunters. I lease a pony and writing is a side hobby. I plan to buy my own property and become a full time horse trainer as I'm already in the works for it. I'd like to compete up to level 5 and maybe even get into D3-2 Barrel Racing.

My favorite Bat member is Tim, and my favorite JLA member is Barry, while my favorite DC villain is Riddler! My favorite Avengers hero is Steve, X-man is Kurt & Remy.

I've been practicing writing since ≈2016, been on tumblr since then on and off again. (Yes I was 10 on tumblr sue me I also had amino, a hard world i grew up online in)

I'm most active around the night even on school days, if you send a req or chat I will most likely respond around then (NY time!)

[sunnyrealist]

Chapter 68: In Need of Distraction

The Sun, the Moon, and All Our Stars

Summary and Details…

Previous Chapter Recap/Context: Sebastian recently reunited with his old friends, Ominis and Ruby, after not seeing them for eight years. He invited Ominis over to the cottage for dinner, and it all seemed to be going well until Ominis revealed something Sebastian never expected. Ruby had made Ominis promise to break the news and finally get it off of their chests that they had been the ones that turned him in, causing him to be sent to Azkaban with a life sentence. They hadn't properly thought through their decision in their fifth year and never expected the punishment to be that severe. Anne was also involved, her words twisted in Sebastian's sentencing. Ominis expressed extreme regret over the situation and said he tried to atone by taking care of Anne. He said he understood if Sebastian never wanted to see him again and left without another word.

Pairing: 25-year-old, post-Azkaban Sebastian Sallow x 24-year-old Kate Mayflower (my OC), the assistant librarian at Hogwarts

Content warnings: In general, this is rated 18+, so minors should not read or interact with this story. This chapter features strong feelings of betrayal, using physical activity to the point of exhaustion to cope with problems, avoiding discussion about painful topics, and feeling as though someone needs professional therapy.

The full chapter is available below the cut; it can also be found on AO3 (link is posted below). I always appreciate feedback. 

Chapter 68: In Need of Distraction

For once in Kate’s life, she has no idea how to go about solving a problem.

The problem being Sebastian’s anger, disappointment, and utter despair at the surprise of his friends’ betrayal. 

A betrayal that could have left him in Azkaban for life.

She cannot blame him. She can’t even imagine how she might feel if the same had been done to her. 

Kate had attempted to provide comfort after Ominis departed, but Sebastian had been… numb. Immune to supportive words, neutral towards her touch. All he could do was stare into the red flames of the fireplace, silent and pensive. 

After an hour, Kate had finally left him to his thoughts, recognizing his need for space. She didn’t remember him coming to bed. Although she had woken up alone, there was clear evidence he had eventually laid next to her. The sheets were a tangled and wrinkled mess, the result of probable tossing and turning.

Dressing quickly, her ears picked up on loud, repetitive noises outside. Concerned, she rushed to the window, throwing open the curtains. Initially blinded by sunlight, she squinted and shielded her eyes; then, she finally discovered the source of the noise. 

Shirtless and sweating, Sebastian was chopping firewood the Muggle way. 

His hair was completely untamed with his bangs masking his eyes. He took a moment to wipe the perspiration from his brow, breathing heavily. His suspenders were loose, hanging along his upper legs. 

A huge pile of wood sat next to him. How long had he been at this? 

Kate’s instinct had been to rush outside and to embrace him, but after giving it some thought, she decided to just let him be. Sebastian likely wasn’t ready to have a conversation, based on the violent way he cleaved through the logs.

An hour later, he worked in the garden.

And the next, he had exited the property. Kate’s eyes followed him as he began jogging down the road towards the Forbidden Forest. 

Troubled, she tried to take her mind off of the situation for a while, busying herself with writing letters to her family, Pearl, and Lottie and Otty in America. She reluctantly left a note for Sebastian in the kitchen when he hadn’t returned by noon, explaining that she had gone into town for groceries and potions.

But when Kate returned over an hour later, the cottage was quiet, and the note had been left undisturbed. She put away the items she had purchased, then decided to go out to look for her boyfriend.

It took a half hour of searching the southern part of the woods, but she eventually heard and followed Sebastian’s voice, crying out spells over and over again. 

Kate discovered him in a clearing within the forest and secretly observed from a distance with wide eyes. Red and orange flowers grew amongst the dried yellow grasses, and the sun beat down cruelly with no shade in view. Sebastian stood, panting hard, his shoulders moving with every breath, before a single dead tree in the center of the field. 

Wand in hand, he assumed a dueling stance. Aiming at the tree, he cried out, “Confringo!” 

Fire erupted from his wand, engulfing the dry branches. Bathed in sweat, Sebastian stared blankly as it burned, the smoke disturbing into the blue sky. After a few moments, he wandlessly extinguished the flames. 

Almost immediately, he screamed, “Incendio!” and pointed his wand at the pathetic tree. Fire broke out in a ring around his body and set the tree aflame once more. 

The cycle repeated over and over until Sebastian fell to his knees in utter exhaustion. Kate bit her lip hard as tears formed in her eyes.

I need to find a Mind Healer for him. It cannot wait any longer. He needs help - more than I can provide.

As Kate closes the oven with a creak, she hears the front door. She carefully puts the pan of berry-oat muffins on top of the stove to cool before taking a deep breath and striding into the living room. 

She and Sebastian simply study each other for a few moments. 

“Sebastian, do you want to t-” she begins.

“No,” he replies quickly and realizes almost immediately that it had been way too fast of a response. He catches himself, not wishing to sound as though he is upset with her. His voice softens. “No, Kate. I… would rather not. I really need to wash up.”

His girlfriend nods. “Just let me know if you need anything.”

Sebastian disappears into the bathroom. It isn’t until she has finished washing some dishes that she hears him return to the living room. She finds him sitting at the piano.

“Do- do you mind if I play for a while?” he asks.

Kate gives him a small smile. “Not at all. Do you… mind if I sit in this room with you?”

“Not at all,” he echoes. “I would appreciate some company.”

She chances a kiss to his cheek. He leans into it, reaching for her, and she settles on the bench next to him. 

“Sebastian,” she murmurs, leaning her head on his shoulder, “I love you, you know.”

He nods. “I love you, too.”

“When… or if…. you need to talk about it, please know I’m here for you,” she continues quietly.

He stares at the floral design painted onto the piano. “I know. I just… I don’t want to talk about the past anymore. I want to focus on the future.”

“Alright,” she acknowledges, then stands up to locate her latest read - a Muggle novel called Pride and Prejudice.

A heat wave seems to have settled upon the Hogsmeade area. As she returns to the living room, she adjusts the curtains, hoping to keep the room cool. 

Lost in thought, Sebastian’s hands hover over the keys. Kate finally releases a breath when he starts to warm up with some scales. She sits on the loveseat, cracking open her novel. 

Sebastian’s first piece is mournful, one that she does not recognize. As time passes, the songs shift and become faster, more spirited, more hopeful and positive. When he eventually performs from Beethoven’s repertoire, she finds that it has become rather hard for her to focus, and she is forced to re-read the same page several times. At a quiet part in the middle of a tune, his stomach growls so audibly that she can’t help but chuckle.

“Come on - let’s eat, Bash.”

Food seems to completely change Sebastian’s demeanor.

He’s ravenous, which isn’t surprising considering his morning’s physical activities. 

Bite by bite, it feels as though his old self is slowly returning, back to who he was before he had even received Ruby’s letter asking to meet. He doesn’t speak of her or Ominis. Instead, he and Kate talk about the rest of the day and the week ahead. They discuss the novel she is reading and which book Sebastian might tackle next. 

Kate packs lunches while he washes dishes, and afterwards, they go for a broom ride over the Forbidden Forest and around the towers of Hogwarts. They land a bit out of the way from the cottage and leisurely stroll the rest of the way home. 

The sun is slipping away, and so is the weekend. When they reach the gate, lacewing flies are fluttering about in the growing darkness. 

“I never thought I would be pleased to go to work tomorrow,” Sebastian mentions later as they settle on the couch to read. “But I’m glad. I’m in need of distraction.”

Kate gives him a pouty face, trying to keep it light. “Am I not enough of a distraction for my love?” She chuckles.

“Mmm,” he murmurs, leaning in to whisper in her ear. “Don’t get me wrong, sweetheart. To me, you’re the most distracting force in the entire universe, and I’d never change that. You take such good care of me.”

Sebastian puts down his book, and as though he needs to prove his point, he caresses Kate’s cheek and pulls her in for a tender kiss. She returns it wholeheartedly, placing her hands on his chest. Her tongue swipes along his bottom lip, requesting entry, and the kiss deepens. After a minute, they break apart, breathless.

“My monthly courses…” she murmurs with a mischievous smile, “...seem to have reached their end, darling.”

Understanding flickers on his face, and he immediately goes in for another kiss, laying Kate down gently on the couch and climbing over her. 

“Sebastian,” she whines as his lips make their way down her chin and throat, focusing on the sensitive spot between her neck and shoulder. 

His fingers begin to untie the ribbon around her collar, and then he releases button after button of her blouse. She brings her knees up around his waist, and his chest heaves in anticipation, desperate to be as close to her as possible, to become one.

And then there is knocking at the front door.

Both of their heads turn, eyes wide, and then they look back at each other. 

“Were you expecting someone?” Sebastian asks.

“No,” Kate replies, confused. “Especially after dark… certainly not.”

He tenses, rising to his feet. She sits up, fixing her clothing, as he smooths out his own. 

“I don’t know anyone who would come over this late,” she adds, her voice wavering as Sebastian’s eyes narrow. “This is strange.”

He pats his trousers, checking for his wand and ensuring it is in his pocket. His hand rests on the checkered green handle as he moves cautiously towards the door, noting not just one but two figures waiting behind the stained glass window.

“Stay there. Let me handle it,” he tells her, motioning for her to sit back. 

[ottilieclementineabsil]

I don't really know how to do introduction posts, so hello!! I'm Ottilie, or Otti, my prns are She/they/he/doll. I am a member of the Armed Detective Agency, I'm French, I'm 22 years old, my birthday is June 27th!

Character Official Description: Ottilie Clementine Absil

Pronouns: She/they/he/doll

Gender: Faesari

Ability: Words and Clay

Ottilie can make small clay dolls that she can control through writing. She had to craft these dolls herself which takes time and effort. The trick is that she has to go into extreme detail when writing or well, "programming" these dolls, this ability CAN EASILY backfire against herself.

Age: 22

Ethnicity: French

Organization: ADA

Personality: Tending to keep to herself yet still presenting with confidence. Ottilie tries her best to make good impressions, cautious of information they let out. She has a major habit of letting everything get to her head, despite that she still has an overpowering will to protect others, making others feel safe with her immense amount of "confidence". She struggles to empathize, still able to sympathize of course, she cares about other a lot. Sometimes she sympathizes a little too much which in itself troubles her from time to time. She tries her best to focus on the positives but struggles to stay optimistic.

Height: 173.99cm/5'8.5ft

Weight: 60kg/132lbs

Blood Type: A

Likes: Quiet, cooperation, "Skeleton Flowers", helping others, Escargot

Dislikes: Her immediate family, writing, Rodents

Birthday: June 27th

Out of character: //

//Heyy if it wasn't apparent Ottilie is an oc of mine, I'm Finny! :]

Questions are appreciated along with overall responses and interaction!

Main account is: @finnysobsession

Idm ships, NSFW, or really anything. Just have basic respect and it's cool.

[otterlyinluv]

Dark is just a little black cat.

A void with eyes if you will.

Sometimes, you see a vaguely upset shadow on your wall, and because you know the drill by now, you simply reach your arms out.

A few seconds pass.

The shadows stir.

Then, Dark is in your arms, his face in your shoulder. The only thing visible from him is the tuft of black hair and his red-blue aura. Its faint buzz is the only sound in the room as you let him rest.

With the way he's pressed against you, you can literally feel his chest rise and fall ever so slightly slower. Calmer. Maybe even relaxed.

If Dark really was a cat, he would curl up in your lap and start purring.

---

I saw a post about black cats and thought of the grumpiest one of them all

[lilacella]

1,2,6,8,12 pleasee dear fauli! 🫶🏼🫶🏼

Hello dear Otti! Thank you for your ask 🥰🦥

1. i already settled here and decided on

2. what is your go-to karaoke song?

This is so yellable and I absolutely cannot sing it well but I DON'T CARE!!

6. is there/what is a song that you secretly love but you hate to admit it?

Hmm, idk I don't really carry shame about the things I love anymore 😊 So I love what I love and am not worried about admitting it.

8. what do you think is the best song to play during sexy times?

Obviously die Internationale?? Very sexy song, I think commie Remus would agree!!

I don't think I have ever played a song while having sex but I like to listen to this one when I write smut scenes so maybe that counts??

12. who is a band or artist that you've never seen that you're dying to see?

GRLwood!!! I think they would be so fun to see live!! Here, have a sample!!

Ask me fun music asks

[fipindustries]

todos los demonios estan aqui

you've probably heard me mention multiple times that one of my favourite novels of all times is"la battala del calentamiento", an argentinian novel about a man who suffers from gigantism going on a trip to the argentinian south and encountering a strange little village there with strange people living in it and becoming the step dad of a girl with magical powers.

well, the writer of that book is called Marcelo Figueras, and it just so happened that a couple years ago he published a new book called "todos los demonios estan aqui". so, obviously, i had to read it.

it was fine i guess.

the book reads like a suspense horror movie, i could see A24 adapting this one day, with strong influences from stephen king. a psychiatrist is hired to work at a strange mental hospital, tucked away in an old mansion in a distant island in the middle of the Delta (an important argentinian river). soon he comes to find out that place is a lot stranger and much more sinister than he thought at first.

the twist at the end is that actually the institution, as well as all its franchises, are actually franchises of hell. the "patients" in those hospitals are all damned souls trapped in their bodies on earth, unable to access heaven. the goal of these hospitals is to treat those people and give them a second chance to repent and redeem themselves. our main character accidentally lets a patient escape and it turns out that patient was john gacy, the clown serial killer.

highjinks ensue.

its a pretty decent mystery book, the clues are doled out slowly and the reveal is satisfactory. although i feel the premise was never properly explored. as soon as the big twist is revealed we jump into the third act and we never really a breather to explore in more detail the implications of this (there is a throwaway line that hitler and stalin are also patients of this hospital in other countries) the only two "infamous people from history" we get to see are john gacy and ottis toole.

as a story its pretty decent but there are a couple of aspects that hold it back to me. first, as i said, most of the book is spent unraveling the mystery and once the premise is finally revealed in full we barely have any time to really explore it or let it sink before we rush to a typical horror movie third act serial killer type fare.

second, the main character is very unlikeable. he is a middle aged man who is EXTREMELY divorced, the most divorced man in the conurbano. with all the typical flaws associated. hates his ex, has only eyes for his son, is constantly oogling other women, he is a bit of an alcoholic, has a bit of a temper, is kind of a lonely loser, etc.

third, this book has what is probably the most out of place, shoehorned, tacked on sex scene i ever came across in a story. is completly ridiculous and the only explination i can find is that the writer got a sudden and uncontainable attack of hornyness as he was writing the book and he just had to type that scene with one hand while the other was occupied.

finally the happy ending kind of strains belief. the guy fucks up, he fucks up massively. he lets a serial killer escape from the hospital because he thought he was "harmless", the guy went on to kill two people, torture his ex and molest his son. a lot of energy and personel from the hospital had to be used to recapture the guy. the fact that he was not fired for this and gets to have a happy relationship with his son by the end of it all is absolutely ridiculous. it would have taken me out of the novel if it wasnt for the fact that it ends there.

honestly this book is more interesting for its premise and the fuel it gave me to extrapolate interesting stories in this world than for the book itself. like damn, who else is in these hospitals? how do they get them from the moment they die into these places? how do they make sure nobody recognizes them? i want to see how they handle guys like hitler, or charles manson or margaret tatcher.

in the epilogue we see the guy taking on a new patient, Mister J, who turns out to be his abusive father who was a colaborator with the military dictatorship of the 70's. i don want to see just a page dedicated to that, we could have had a whole novel based on that alone!

so yeah, competently written but with a few stumbles here and there that end up making the whole experience a lot more frustrating than it needed to be

7/10

[hellodarling1357]

Tiny Toes: Part 7 - Cassian x Reader

Hello hello hello!! It's only been...five months... (sorry) but I am back and have some goodies lined up for you all.

To get us started, here's the next, long-awaited part of Tiny Toes - I did see everyone's messages and they all meant so, so much. You have no idea! So thank you for all your kind words and encouragement!

I've schooched away from the timeline a bit with this one and jumped ahead a little, I might be bouncing back and forth while I get back into the rhythm of things but everything will line up in the end.

Please let me know your thoughts, seeing all of your comments and messages truly make my day and inspire me to keep writing!

Enjoy 🥰

Word Count: 7k (oohh it's a long one!!)

You can read the previous part here

Recent news of disturbances throughout the Continent had sent the High Lords into a state of panicked caution – memories of Hybern and Amarantha still raw in the aftermath of the war. As a result, Rhysand and the rest of his inner circle had been staying in the Dawn Court at Thesan’s palace, alongside the other High Lords and their courts, as they debated what to do next and planned how best to stay on top of the situation to prevent further conflict from crossing into Prythian’s shores.

Unfortunately for both you and Ottie, this meant Cassian’s absence was now pushing into its fifth week. Selfishly, you wanted him home with you; had you had a say, you would have never wanted him to leave in the first place. Cassian had also been reluctant to go, memories of the teary farewell still made your heart throb, however, he would never be able to live with the guilt of abandoning his duties and responsibilities to both his High Lord and Court. Even though you knew it was for the best, that didn’t stop the longing ache that came from missing him so desperately. You hadn’t realised it was even possible to miss someone this much, yet this had been the longest the two of you had been apart since falling into each other’s lives, the longest Cassian had ever spent away from Ottie, and you found everything slightly off kilter and as though it was all at a standstill without him by your side.

In Cassian’s absence, Ottie had very quickly wormed her way into his side of the bed. Usually, the two of you discouraged her from doing so, cherishing the limited time you had to simply be together at the end of the day without the interruption of a small, yet demanding, child, as well as Cassian’s taxing duties as General and your own work. However, waking up that first morning without Cassian in cold, unrumpled sheets had you quickly agreeing when Ottie had asked if she could have a sleep over with you.

The goodbyes had been hard. You had all decided to make the most of the day that Cassian was set to leave as the inner circle weren't required to get to the Dawn Court until later that night. The three of you had woken up early to make pancakes and Cassian’s special hot chocolate before heading out into Velaris to walk along the Sidra and grabbing lunch at your favourite little café that overlooked the shimmering water.

Upon returning home, Ottie had announced that she needed exactly 23 minutes to prepare as she ushered you and Cassian into the kitchen, closing the doors firmly behind her. Neither of you said much in those 23 minutes, choosing instead to bask in the silence, only interrupted by a few bumps and Ottie’s hurried “everything’s fine”, and being in one another’s company. Cassian had leant against the kitchen counter, pulling you snuggly into his arms and enveloping the two of you even closer together as his wings draped around you. In return, you had wrapped your arms tightly around his waist, burying your face into his chest as he pressed kisses to the top of your head.

“I’m going to miss you,” your voice came out muffled as you pressed tighter against him, willing away the tears that had started to trek down your cheeks.

“I’d hope so.”

You looked up, ready to chastise him for not returning the sentiment but instead found yourself crumbling even further at the emotion you found on his face. There was too much happening for words, the unknown of when he would be home as well as the unknown of what may lay ahead if what was happening on the Continent turned into a bigger threat. So instead, you lifted your hands and gently wiped away his tears, heart fluttering as Cassian turned to press a chaste kiss to your palm that rested against his cheek, his eyes refusing to leave yours as he let out a shaky breath. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you leant up on your toes, relishing in the feel of his arms tugging you even closer against him as he spun the two of you around and lifted you up onto the counter, your legs habitually wrapping around him as you pulled him closer so as to capture his lips with your own.

“Okay! I’m ready. You can come out now,”

Cassian made a disappointed noise at Ottie’s interruption, slumping against and leaning his forehead against your shoulder in defeat.

“Mum! Dad!”

Ottie’s singsong voice was laced with a threatening degree of impatience, making Cassian huff a sigh and quietly comment, “she’s too bossy for her own good.”

You laughed as you reached up to kiss him again before he helped you off the counter, one hand lingering between your shoulder blades as he led you into the living room, or what had once been the living room. In its place, a giant blanket fort had taken over the space with Ottie poking her head out of the opening, her face breaking into a wide grin as she ushered you both inside.

“Where did all these blankets and pillows even come from?” You asked, noting that most of them you had never seen before. Cassian just shrugged in response, eyes narrowing in on what lay in the centre of the rug.

“I’m not even going to ask where you got these, Otts.” Cassian promptly ignored the guilty look that graced Ottie’s face as he picked up one of the choc-chip cookies before making himself comfortable and pulling you down to sit snug against him. You smiled to yourself, realising the display of treats were more than likely from Elain and making note to yourself to ask your friend when she had dropped them off to figure out exactly how long Ottie had been storing them for.

“So, what’s the plan?” Cassian asked Ottie as he held out his half-eaten cookie for you to share. Ottie simply pointed to the large pile of games with a wicked grin on her face that had you both rolling your eyes, realising she expected you to play every single one.

*****

“You know,” Ottie started, as she slumped against Cassian’s chest from where she sat in his lap. “It would be a lot easier to play if there were more of us.”

“Hmm? How do you mean?” You absentmindedly asked, placing down your cards and smugly grinning across at Cassian and Ottie as you scored an extra 20 points, earning a groan in response.

“Well, just that if there were more of us, we wouldn’t always need to play two-against-one, or one-against-one-against-one.”

She had a point in that, the three of you had already circled through ‘boys against girls’, ‘wings against no wings’, ‘adults against kids’ multiple times throughout the afternoon.

“Maybe next time we have a games afternoon we can invite the others around?” you suggested, watching as Ottie placed down the cards Cassian silently handed her, completely missing the scrunched expression of frustration on Ottie’s face and the way Cassian had tensed up and remained silent throughout the whole conversation.

“Or,” Ottie stretched the word out causing you to look up in curiosity as you tried to catch Cassian’s eye who busily looked through his remaining cards in an attempt to avoid your gaze, “you could just have a baby.”

Cassian let out a sigh and it was now your turn to freeze in place as the words lingered in the space between. Sure, you had spoken about having kids together and you definitely wanted them with Cassian, but you didn’t feel ready yet. Joining their family had already been such a detour from the life you had imagined yourself living at this point in time, and while you wouldn’t change it for anything in the world, you still wanted the time to enjoy your life as it currently was.

You knew Cassian wanted another child and that he would jump at the chance as soon as you agreed, yet, despite feeling guilty as you noted his disappointment when you first told him not yet, the sense of relief that had washed over you when he quickly changed the conversation was telling enough in itself to prove that you weren’t ready yet.

Tuning back into the conversation as Ottie listed all the reasons why she thought she should have a baby brother or sister, your eyes landed on Cassian, finding him already looking back at you with a tentative expression. He didn’t seem shocked or caught off guard so Ottie must have already brought this up with him.

You opened your mouth, to say what you weren’t quite sure, but Cassian saved you from having to fumble for words as he abruptly clapped his hands together, “how about we start on dinner, that way, Ottie, you can have your surprise treat before bedtime.” At the mention of the words surprise and treat, all thoughts of a sibling appeared to immediately vanish as she scrambled out of Cassian’s lap and towards the blanket ford entrance.

“Nuh-uh, Ottie, you know the rules; if you make a blanket fort you need to pack it up, alright? You get to cleaning and Mum and I will start making dinner.”

The bubble of amusement at Ottie’s groan of annoyance as she stomped up the stairs, laden with pillows, was quick to pop once you realised you and Cassian were now alone. You turned towards him, already feeling his eyes on you, and were met with a soft and knowing expression.

“Cass…”

“Y/N, its fine.” His tone was comforting yet you couldn’t help but feel as though you were disappointing him.

“No, you know that it’s not that I don’t want to. I just…”

“Not yet, I know and its fine. We have Ottie and once you’re ready…once we’re ready, then we can talk about it.” He held out a hand which you took, letting him pull you up off the floor, a small smile gracing your lips when he didn’t pull his hand away and, instead, squeezed yours and soothingly rubbed his thumb across the back of your hand.

You let out another sigh, “Cass…” you tried again but were abruptly silenced as he pressed his lips against yours.

“Stop,” He pulled away but held your gaze, “I love you and we have all the time in the world. Even if you decide that just Ottie is enough, it won’t change anything between us, alright?”

Noting that the hesitant look on your face remained, he kissed you again, putting everything into it until he felt your tension ebb away. “Now enough of this, I don’t want to spend my last few hours here having you feeling like this. Come on, let’s start on dinner. Ottie won’t be happy if it gets too late and she misses out on her treat.” Cassian nipped at your ear, his own concern leaving him after hearing the small giggle you let out. Finally satisfied, he slung his arm over your shoulders and headed towards the kitchen.

“You know she won’t be going to bed while you’re still here, treat or not, she’s going to want to stay up until you need to leave.”

“Well, we can’t have that, she’ll be a nightmare for you tomorrow and then you’ll never want to have another one…” He let out a playful yelp as you smacked his stomach, “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Besides, I want at least a few uninterrupted hours alone with you before I have to leave...”

Rolling your eyes you move to pull away, but Cassian was faster as he spun you back around to face him, leaning down to kiss your lips once more and then the tip of your nose before brushing the hair away from your face and giving you a lovesick smile that you couldn’t help but return.

*****

The three of you slumped against the plush, green couch, Cassian in the middle with you and Ottie tucked in either side of him as you finished off the final few crumbs of the slice of chocolate cake Ottie had wanted to share. The young Illyrian let out a loud yawn that she quickly tried to cover up, “that’s so weird, because I’m not even tired.” You raised your brows and shared a look with Cassian who was shaking his head, an amused smirk lighting up his face.

“Hey, Otts? I know it’s not your bedtime yet, but can you do me a favour?” Ottie sat up and gave her dad a suspicious look as she waited for him to continue. “I was hoping you would let me tuck you in early tonight and read you a few stories? I’m going to miss you while I’m away and I’m going to miss bedtimes so was hoping for one more before I have to go?”

Ottie looked back and forth between the two of you before letting out a dramatic sigh, “Fine.” With that, she slid off the couch and grabbed both yours and Cassian’s hands as she began walking towards the stairs and up to her room.

“Very smooth,” you murmured into Cassian’s ear, he just gave you a wink before leaning down to scoop Ottie up, causing her to let out a squeal as he bounded up the remaining steps.

*****

After taking in turns to read Ottie eight different books, she was now tucked into bed with the two of you lying either side of her, tightly gripping your hands as she began to slowly succumb to sleep. Cassian was still as he played with her hair, silently watching her and taking in every little movement and feature. You stayed just as still, just as silent, as you took in the scene before you, knowing that the minutes were ticking by too fast in the count down to Cassian leaving.

“I love you, Ottie.” Cassian whispered the words as he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

A sleepy smile spread over Ottie’s face, “I love you too, Dad.” Soon enough her breathing evened out and soft snores filled the room.

Looking past Ottie’s small frame, your eyes met Cassian’s and the tears you found there had the ones you had been fighting so hard to keep back finally escape down your cheeks. Cautiously, Cassian slowly moved, testing just how deeply Ottie was asleep before nodding his head towards the door. You both carefully got up, Cassian leaning back down to fuss over Ottie as he tucked her in further and brushed her hair away from her face before pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. Moving around the bed to stand beside Cassian, you put a hand on his back and rubbed soothing circles across it, waiting for him to make the move to leave.

“Alright,” Cassian whispered, taking your hand and leading you out of the room, “now I want to properly say goodbye to you.”

You had just managed to silently close Ottie’s bedroom door before letting out a yelp as Cassian suddenly picked you and threw you over his shoulder before determinedly walking towards your own bedroom door.

*****

“Stop,” you laughed, a half exasperated, half amused expression on your face, “you’re being ridiculous.”

Cassian just winked up at you from where he rested between your legs, “I’m just making sure you won’t forget about me while I’m away.” He looked back down, a devilish grin spreading as he admired his work, you just groaned as you finally saw the marks he worked so hard to leave already appearing across your hip bones, trailing further and further down.

Pulling himself back up your body, Cassian sprawled himself out over the top of you, trapping you beneath him as your legs intertwined once more, his face burrowed in the crook of your neck as you let your fingers run through his hair. You let the silence envelop you, knowing your time was up but neither of you wanting to acknowledge it.

After what felt like both seconds and years, Cassian shifted, now leaning on his elbows as he looked down at you. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered. You felt the sting behind your eyes return and knew you wouldn’t be able to speak, so instead you leant up to kiss him. “I have to go…” Cassian said, eventually pulling away just fair enough to rest his forehead against yours, eyes still shut tightly as he held you close.

“I know,” you murmured back, kissing him softly once more before you both reluctantly started to pull apart.

Throwing on the shirt Cassian had been wearing, you watched from where you sat on the edge of your bed as Cassian got dressed.

“Do you know where my –”

“In the corner of the wardrobe.” Knowing he was asking about the boots you had been reminding him to get out all week. Cassian gave you a sheepish look as he ducked into the dressing room, causing you to huff out a laugh as you laid back down and stared up at the ceiling.

“Oh!” Cassian’s voice echoed out to you, “look what I just found.”

You sat back up just in time to catch the small woollen jumper that Ottie would have worn at just a few months old.

“It’s so tiny,” you held the small item up as Cassian sat beside you, leaning down to tie up his laces, “where was this?”

“It must’ve fallen down the back, it was poking out from underneath the drawers. Can you believe she was ever this small?” Cassian sat back up and reached for the jumper, trailing the small cut out sections in the back that once would have fit her wings. A pang of guilt coursed through you at the look on Cassian’s face, knowing what he was thinking about. You weren’t sure if it was the heightened emotions brought on by such an overwhelming day or the images of Cassian holding a small baby that raced to the front of your mind that had you wanting to say something.

“About before, what Ottie brought up –”

“Y/N, we don’t need to do this now, it’s –”

“No, Cass, I was just going to say that maybe… maybe, once you get back, we should talk about it again. Properly this time. I was caught off guard when Ottie mentioned it but…” you trailed off, not quite sure where to go next.

Cassian released a breath, wrapping an arm around your waist as he pulled you against his side and kissed your temple.

“When I’m back, we’ll talk.” You could tell he was trying to keep a neutral expression for your sake, but there was no missing the sparkle that ignited in his eyes and the way the corner of his lips twitched as though holding back a grin. “Fuck, Rhys is going to kill me. I’m going to be so late…”

Your heart dropped as Cassian stood, taking your hand to pull you up off the bed before guiding you to the door. He stopped outside of Ottie’s door, quietly opening it to peek inside and, seeing that she was still fast asleep, let out another shaky breath before whispering “I love you, Ottie” as he closed the door once more. You squeezed his hand in reassurance, “we’re going to be fine, Cass. We’ll miss you, so much, but we will be fine.” Cassian just grimly nodded in response as you made your way down the stairs.

All you could do was stare at one another, your hands were grasped firmly in his calloused ones, as you stood by the front door.

“You’ve got to go,” you whispered, tears freely falling now as you realised this was the last time you would be seeing him for weeks or, Cauldron forbid, months.

A pained expression crossed his face as he softly wiped the tears away before leaning down to kiss you. You quickly moved again him, the two of you melding together before a soft cough that indicated another person’s presence had you pulling apart.

“I figured you would need a little longer to say goodbye. Thought I would winnow us both over, save you the hassle of flying and experiencing Rhys’ telling off for being late,” Azriel’s low voice broke through the silence as you both turned to face him.

“Hi, Az.” You said, voice shakier than you intended it to be. Cassian simply nodded at his brother as his hand tightly squeezed yours.

“Y/N.” He greeted back with a smile that did nothing to hide the sombre expression that had been becoming a more permanent fix as the going-ons of the Continent continued to surface.

Cassian turned back to you; brows pinched as his eyes scanned your face. You offered him a small smile, not knowing how to make the goodbye any easier.

“I love you,” he said, repeating the words over and over again in a whisper between the hurried kisses he gave you.

“I love you.” No other words were needed as Cassian grimly nodded, leaning down to kiss you once more before taking a step towards where Azriel stood.

“Stay safe,” you called out, doing your best to stop yourself from racing after him, “both of you.”

Cassian’s turned back to face you as soon as he was beside Azriel, every emotion conveyed in a single look.

“Don’t worry, Y/N, I’ll keep him out of trouble,” Azriel replied in an attempt to lighten the weight of what they were about to head into and the significance in the changes that could come about over the following weeks.

*****

Five weeks and three days later

You and Ottie had just gotten home after spending the evening with Elain and Nyx, who she was looking after whilst Feyre and Rhys were in the Dawn Court.

“Mum?” Ottie asked as you slid into bed beside her, “Can I please have two stories tonight?”

“Two? Otts, you look like you could barely stay awake for one. Are you sure? You’ve had a pretty big day.” You had gone into work, so Ottie had spent the day with her friend, Ciela, and, after picking her up, the two of you had then headed straight to the River House.

“Please…”

“Okay, fine. What do you want tonight?”

Whilst you read aloud, Ottie had snuggled up against you, but you could tell by her fidgeting that she was far from sleep.

“…the end.” You finished, placing the book on the bedside table and looking down at your daughter who was staring vacantly at the ceiling, only moving once you had settled back beside her so that she could hold onto you once more.

“Everything alright, sweetheart?”

“Yep.” But the deflation in her voice didn’t ebb your concern. Instead of pushing her to answer, you wrapped your arms around her and stroked her hair, hoping to offer some form of comfort as she muddled over her thoughts.

You had almost thought she had drifted to sleep and had begun to doze off yourself when Ottie suddenly sat up and looked at you with a determined expression.

“Mum?” You sat up as well, giving her a soft smile to encourage her to continue. “You know how before Dad left, I said I wanted a baby brother or sister? Well, I’ve changed my mind, I like that it’s just the three of us. Maybe we can get a dog? Dad’s always saying he wants a dog and that it would be really fun. And then the dog can keep you company when we’re flying and you’re on the ground, and it will also be able to…”

Ottie continued to list all the reasons why you should get a dog, yet you were waiting for her to drop the reason for her sudden change of heart in regard to a sibling. In Cassian’s absence, your mind had run amuck with imaged scenarios and that promised conversation you were to have upon his return.

“Well,” you interrupted Ottie’s rambles, noting the way she almost frantically avoided eye contact. “We can definitely talk about getting a dog once Dad is back. But how come you no longer want a little brother or sister?”

“I just don’t…” her voice was muffled as she slumped back against the pillows, pulling the blankets over her head.

Letting out a sigh, you racked your brain for what could’ve caused the sudden change but came up blank. Just this morning she had been telling you that if she had a sibling she wouldn’t need to have gone to Ciela’s because she would have someone at home to play with – completely missing the fact that it was the child caring factor that was the concern at hand. With Ottie yet to lift the blankets away from her face, you tried for another tactic and laid back down beside her, pulling the other half of the blanket over your own head.

“Does Ciela have any siblings?”

“Yes, three”

“What are they like?” You asked, maybe it had something to do with one of them picking on the girls…

“They’re alright,” Ottie shifted closer to you, and you were quick to pull her into a hug that she immediately melted into. “One of them is too little to play, the other one was at the big kids’ school today, and the other one is a grown up.”

“Did you tell Ciela you wanted to be a big sister?”

“Yes…” her voice trailed off into a whisper and she took in a shaky breath, burring her face tighter against you.

“Oh? What did she have to say about that?”

“Nothing really…,” Ottie squirmed a bit before continuing, “but she said she had heard her mum talking about you and daddy to Niamh’s mum.” You let out a sigh, knowing you were close and not liking where this could be heading. You knew people talked about you and Cassian and the cliché of you being his nanny before getting together, you only hoped they had the common decency not to bring a four-year-old into the mix.

“Did Ciela tell you what they said?”

There was a beat of silence before her quiet “…yes.”

You could only just make out Ottie’s response before she was sniffling and curling in on herself. Pulling the blankets away you scooped Ottie into your arms and held her tightly against you, one hand rubbing up and down her back while the other soothed her hair as she quietly sobbed into the crook of your neck.

“Sweetheart,” you started after a few moments, pressing a kiss to the top of her head once her sobbing turned into quiet sniffles. “I need you to tell me what happened, please? Otherwise I won’t know what to do to fix this and make you feel better.”

“They said… They said that when you and daddy have a baby,” her shaky intake of breath had your heart breaking even further at the inner turmoil she must have been hiding from you all afternoon. “That you will send me away to live in the Autumn Court because… because I’m not…”

You pulled back to look her in the eye, blood thrumming in your ears as you waited with bated breath for her to finish saying those dreaded few words, doing your best to quell your anger and focus on the girl in front of you.

“Because you’re not what, Ottie?”

“Because I’m not your real daughter. And when you have your own baby, you won’t want me anymore.”

The few beats in which Ottie’s eyes welled with tears as she hid her face against you gave you all but a moment to compose yourself and decide how you wanted to navigate the situation.

“Well,” you started, keeping your tone light, “that is just the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard, and you’ve heard some of the things your dad says...” Ottie pulled back and looked up at you with wide eyes, lower lip still trembling as she processed your words. “Of course you’re my daughter, I mean, sure I didn’t give birth to you, but that’s hardly the point. Ottie, I have been in your life since before you could crawl, besides, how else would I know how to make your favourite meal, or how to do your hair just the way you like, or the fact that you only like chocolate brownies if half the chocolate is melted and the other half is in chunks, it if I wasn’t your mum?”

You let out a sigh of relief as Ottie wiped away the few remaining tears, a small tug of a smile beginning to appear. “And why would we ever send you away to the Autumn Court? That’s just silly, your home is here, with us. The only time we would ever send you away is if you got to, like, 187 and still lived at home with us, although even then we might still keep you here, we just love you that much.”

“Really?”

“Of course. You are my whole world, Ottie. Everything changed for the better when you and your dad came into my life, and I wouldn’t change it for anything. And if we do have another child, we’re going to need you around to help us out and to teach them how to be just as amazing as you are.”

“I love you, mummy.” You pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and then to her cheeks.

“I love you so, so much, sweetheart.”

You blinked away your tears as Ottie wrapped her arms around you, holding her tightly until she was ready to pull away.

“So, do you think you’re up for the job of being a big sister?” You asked, tickling Ottie’s sides and relishing in the sound of her melodic giggles.

“Yeah, I think so,” Ottie looked thoughtful for a moment before continuing, “please can it be a girl? I don’t want another boy here, daddy is enough.”

You let out a laugh, “I agree, leave it with me and I’ll see what I can do.”

“Wow, I’ve been gone all of five weeks and the two of you have already kicked me out of my bed and decided that it’s a girls-only house. Maybe I should leave and stay with Uncle Rhys and Auntie Feyre, at least Nyx appreciates me.”

Your heart froze at the sudden voice, not having heard anyone approach, and then it completely melted at the sight of Cassian before you.

Ottie froze from where she was beginning to settle herself back against the pillow, looking between you and Cassian with wide eyes and a stunned expression that slowly broke into a look of pure joy.

“Daddy!” She all but jumped across the bed and launched herself towards where Cassian had been leaning against the doorframe, her small wings carrying her the rest of the distance. Cassian was quick to catch her in a tight embrace, spinning her around and around as he peppered kisses all over her face, sending her into a fit of giggles and happy squeals.

Completely caught off guard and feeling overwhelmed at the heartwarming reunion before you, you slowly pulled yourself out of bed and took a few steps towards the pair, grinning as you caught Cassian’s eye from over Ottie’s shoulder.

“Well,” Cassian started as he set Ottie back down on the ground and knelt down to her level, “now that I’m home, I think you should go back to your room–”

“But dad–”

“–to get your own pillow then come right back. What? The least you can do is give me back my pillow seeing that you’ve taken over my side of the bed.”

Ottie grinned at him then jumped forward to give him another tight hug before racing out of the room. With a soft chuckle, Cassian watched her leave before stiffly getting to his feet and turning to face you, the exhaustion so clearly evident you marvelled at how he had managed to hide it so well in those first few moments.

“Hey, you.” Your voice was quiet and came out hoarser than you would have liked but Cassian simply let out an incoherent noise as he stepped closer, all but falling against you as he pulled you into the warmth and comfort of his arms that you had so sorely missed.

“You,” he mumbled into your hair, “are the most amazing and incredible female to ever live. Let me know if I ever stop telling you that, yeah?”

“Cass…?”

“Hi, sorry, I’ve just missed you, so much. And I’m–”

“Exhausted?” you offered, taking in the dark circles under his eyes as you grasped his hand and led him to the side of the bed.

“That too. But I was going to say that just I’m so in love with you that these past few weeks have been absolute torture.”

“I love you too.” You laughed at his jumbled words, shaking your head as you took in his face before pushing the stray pieces of hair away from his eyes, your heart stuttered at the way Cassian moved into your touch.

“Y/N…,” he stared at you for a beat before his own hand came up to cup your face, gently pulling you closer in such a way that had your heart skipping a beat as your eyes flickered shut in anticipation of finally, finally having his lips on yours again.

“Gods, I’ve missed you.” Cassian murmured against you as his arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer so that he could deepen the kiss. You responded just as enthusiastically, hands landing on the base of his neck as your fingers tugged on his hair, causing him to let out a small moan that had you grinning.

“Hi,” you whispered as you pulled away.

“Hi,” Cassian’s voice was just as soft as his eyes skittered across your face, leaning in once more until the patter of footsteps had him pulling away.

“I’m in the middle!” Ottie announced as she reappeared in the doorway, bounding over to the bed and making space for her pillow before looking at you both expectantly.

You watched Cassian with a worried expression as he turned to look at Ottie in bemusement. There hadn’t been much news from anyone regarding what had been happening, likely for security reasons, just the occasional hurried notes from Rhys and Feyre checking in and letting you and Elain know that everyone was okay and would hopefully be home soon.

“Do you want some food or a shower or anything…?”

Cassian pressed a kiss to your cheek, before trailing his fingers down your face, eyes lighting up just at the sight of you before him. “If I smell that bad, I’ll go and shower, but right now I just want to be with my girls.”

Shaking your head, you pushed Cassian towards the dressing room, “at least get changed before getting into bed, you’re still in your leathers.”

“I thought you liked me in my leathers.” He called back, making you roll your eyes as you climbed back into bed beside Ottie.

“You were right,” she mused with a thoughtful nod of her head, “Daddy does say some silly things.”

*****

After filling Cassian in on every little detail he had missed, Ottie was quick to fall asleep, complete exhaustion from her activity-filled and emotional roller coaster of a day knocking her out as soon as the initial shock and excitement of Cassian’s return ebbed away.

Once Ottie’s soft snoring filled the room, Cassian gave you a look before silently scooping her up and carrying her to her own bedroom. You knew she would be mad about the fact that she had been moved when she woke up in the morning but after a month of not seeing Cassian, you were more than happy to deal with the consequences of that later on.

“Is she alright?” Cassian asked after closing your bedroom door and sliding back into bed, immediately wrapping his arms around you and nuzzling his face against your neck.

“Yeah, she’s alright. How much did you hear?” You let your fingers trail through his hair, a month’s worth of stress and tension easing away simply by having Cassian beside you again.

“Enough,” the darkening of his voice told you that he knew exactly what had happened. “Ciela’s mum?”

“And Niamh’s.” You added, tone bitter as images of Ottie’s distraught face returned to the front of your mind.

“For fucks sake… can’t they just mind their own business.”

“She’s alright.” You reassured, knowing there would be plenty of time to get into it over your daughter’s friends’ mums, but not wanting to waste the time you currently had together doing so.

“I know…” he trailed off, letting out a sigh before pressing small kisses along your neck.

“Are you alright though? What’s happening on the Continent, will it –” Cassian cut you off with a kiss that you immediately returned.

“I’m fine. And that will all be fine. Tomorrow, alright? I’ll tell you everything but right now I just…” he trailed off and looked down at you, a soft yet longing smile on his face that you returned before tangling your fingers in his hair once more and pulling him closer.

*****

For someone who appeared to be completely exhausted, Cassian still had plenty of energy when it came to you in those few hours that followed his return home. You knew you would both feel the brunt of getting next to no sleep once the sun had fully risen, but as you lay in the calm silence of your candle-lit bathroom, your back against Cassian’s chest, both of you submerged in the warmth of the lavender-scented bathwater, you couldn’t find yourself caring.

Cassian had begged you to fill him in on every single detail of every day that he had been away for, no matter how boring and uneventful it seemed, he wanted to hear it all. He also managed to easily skirt away from any questions you directed at him regarding his time away and what had happened in the Dawn Court and on the Continent. Knowing he needed time to decompress, you playfully flicked water at him in response before jumping into a recount of Ottie trying to outfly Nyx and winning.

When you felt Cassian’s breathing begin to even out, the strokes of his fingers through your hair growing lazier and slower, you finally made a move to get to bed.

“Cass?” All you got was a grunt in return as Cassian pulled you back into the water and nestled his face against your bare back. “My love, you are exhausted and need to sleep. Come on, bed time.”

Reluctantly, Cassian let you help him out of the bath, his exhaustion clearly taking over as he slumped against the bathroom counter, eyes shut as you wrapped the large towel around him. Once you were both dry, you took Cassian’s hands and led him back into your bedroom, helping him onto the edge of the bed before pulling out some loose-fitting sleepwear for him to change into. As he collapsed against the pillows, you were surprised you didn’t hear the immediate onset of his snores, instead finding him watching you get ready for bed, a sleepy yet adoring expression flickering across his face.

You were about to climb in beside him when the sudden appearance of a small, folded sheet of paper caught your eye:

Please tell me he got back in one piece? We were all planning on coming home tomorrow but Az said he insisted on flying straight home as soon as the final meeting finished up.

- Rhys

“Cass, why do I have a note from Rhys saying you flew all the way home instead of waiting just one more night to winnow back with the others?

“Shh,” Cassian murmured as he reached for you and pulled you against him, “wanted to see my girls. I missed you.” The words were muffled against your skin, heavy breathing quick to follow.

The soft thud of a pen landing on your bedside table where the note had appeared only moments before had you rolling your eyes.

Yes, he made it home, missed telling me the part where he flew hours across Prythian without taking a break... No wonder he’s so exhausted, head hit the pillow less than a minute ago and he’s already snoring! See you all soon

- Y/N x

Mere seconds passed before another sheet of paper appeared on your bedside table.

Clearly not that exhausted if he’s only just asleep, he would’ve made it home hours ago according to when Az said he left ;)

- Rhys

You scoffed and scrunched the piece of paper up, not deigning to reply to your High Lord’s cheek, before settling back against your pillow. Cassian immediately reached for you, pulling you tight against him, even whilst being fast asleep. You let yourself relax against him, quickly finding sleep now that Cassian was back home and where he was meant to be.

*****

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[stupidr3dpanda]

ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀ ᴍɪɴᴏʀ ɪ ᴀsᴋ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ, ғᴏʀ ᴍʏ ʙʟᴏɢ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴs ᴍᴀᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ. ɪ ᴇxᴘᴇᴄᴛ ᴛᴏ sᴇᴇ ᴀɴ ᴀɢᴇ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʙɪᴏ! ɪ ᴡɪʟʟ ɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇ ʜᴇʟᴅ ʀᴇsᴘᴏɴsɪʙʟᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴇᴄɪᴅᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏɴsᴜᴍᴇ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ɪɴᴛᴇʀɴᴇᴛ!

So many men in this world and my dumb ass decided to fall for the fictional ones...

Some rules before we get started!

Here I have set some rules and boundaries for my little corner. Failure to follow them will result in a block from me.

I expect an age in your bio! NO AGELESS BLOGS!! If you are a minor I ask for you to please refrain from interacting with this blog! It contains mature content and I don't want you sniffing around content not meant for you or be blamed for your inability to follow a simple order!!

My blog DOES NOT welcome RACISTS, HOMOPHOBIC, TRANSPHOBIC OR ANYONE WHO DECIDED TO WOKE UP AND BE A COMPLETE ASSHOLE!!

I'm not comfortable with discussing or writing topics containing; Necrophilia, please no, get away!

Now that that's out of the way let me introduce myself!!

Hi! Hello! You can call me Ottie!

I'm your favorite bear and fictional man [mostly CoD MW] enthusiast!

Don't believe me? Hah! Well here's some little facts for ya!

Did you know that there are a total of eight species of bears? Yup! There's the brown bears, black, polar, moon, sun, sloth, spectacled, and pandas!

Unfortunately as much as I would love for it to be true red pandas are not related to the bear family Ursidae, they are related to the taxonomic family, Ailuridae!

Talking about pandas did you know that they have an extra bone to help them eat bamboo?? Uh huh it's known as "sesamoid" it's a bit like a thumb, it helps them maneuver bamboo stalks. It's not a true thumb tho, they can't use it to grasp things, but the evolutionary adaptation gives them more stability when eating bamboo!

Did you also know that polar bears are considered marine mammals?? That's because they depend on the ocean to find their food and a place to live! That's why they fall under the Marine Mammal Protection Act!

If that doesn't prove that I am a certified bear enthusiast I don't know what will. >:[

This is my little corner okay? I come here to dump anything that pops on my mind at that moment, so don't expect it to be very organized!

Please be mindful that English is not my first language and I may make grammar mistakes while communicating

My ask box is always open for anything! Please feel free to talk with me!! Wanna chat? I wanna chat too! Wanna info dump? I'm here for it!! Just passing by to say hi? Go ahead! Wanna recommend me something or share something? I'm all ears!!

And now. To help you navigate this unorganized corner you can use my tags! Here!

For reblogs you can use these tags!

For my fluffy reblogs you can use; #🍀Fluffyreblog

For my spicy aka smutty reblogs you can use; #🌶️Spicyreblog

For my angst reblogs you can use; #☄️Angstreblog

For my fanart reblogs you can use; #🖌️Fanartreblog

For any other reblog just use; #🐻Ottiereblogs

For my own writing you can use these tags!

For my own fluffy writing you can use; #☁️ Fluffy

For my own spicy aka smutty writing you can use; #🔥smut

For my own angst writing you can use; #🍂 Angst

And if you just wanna hear me talk nonsense you can use; #🐻Ottiesays

If you want my answer to a question just use; #🐻Ottieanswers

And in general just to find me use #🐻Ottie

I hope we get to be good friends! Enjoy your life as much as you can! And try to stay safe okay? Bye! 👋🐻✨