#ots meant 2 b like

[jonahmagnus]

Having two metaphorical pins stabbed through your head probably isnt comfortable

[pinkkstarss]

for my next trick, i will explain boat boys as if youve never heard of them, but im sick and cant be botherd correcting my spelling mistakes:

boat boys forst origionated in this minhecraft server grian (their frined) amde called double life. double life is the thirud season of an on going sereies called the life series or, some poeple call it the traffic series bcuz the lifes u get go from 1-red 2-yellow green-3. anywasy so bopat boys are joel and etho(eefo). they wweere paierd in doubl;e life. on he first day they got to know eachother and they made some jokes and stuff, it was niv]ce. actuually they ar ecalled boat b hoys bcuz they went arounf the server in boats. like, on land. it was very funny. the seconf session joel made a big boat for them to live in called the "relation-shipo", (get iot, get it? nudge nudge). etho went tyo the warden and joel sount very concerned as he did so. i dont remeber much abouyt double life as ive been binging limited life for 3 months now. they died due to a trapped nether portal. the perotral had lava spilled aorunf it. it was very sad.

also inportant fact: ther forst time etho and h=joel ever in terected on the whole entire life series they were in boats. they were both riding in boats. are u joking me. THATS SO FUCKING POETOIC WTF CHBFSHVBSHJBJHVKS

onto liml li9fe. they firat saw eachorther in the forst session. etho said "oh so ur gonna make a boat with a new friend now huh?" bcuz joel and jimmy had planned to live in the water. etho was very jealous ogf this, it made me sad. then joel saw etho ina boat with a co2w and joelk saidn "CANT BELEIVE YOUVE REPLACED ME WEITH A COW EEFO!!!" and etho responded with "he keeps me company atleats" AHAHDBFBHVBHWJJVSB JKSNNOOO. anyways in session 4, etho KILLDED JOEL!?!?!?11?!?!??! it was vwery cool actually. joe, clutchedf a fall, and etho landed in huis clutch water and saidf" YOU SAVED ME. YOU SAVED ME JOEL, SO NOW I CAN KILL YOU" that was very cool of etho. even joel daid himself to etho "the fact you landed in my own water bucket trick" i thionk thats everything improtant in liml life?

then serect life. oh, secrect life. my beloved. my onbe treu savior. save me secret life, save me. so, the two sigificant events of secrect life between bgoat boys i can remeber are 1: joel and ehto hop in ab baot otghter and joel goes "we cant do tjis ehto, the fandom will go crazy" (true( then vthey go for a lottle ride untill they are fiorced to stop by a blcok in. their way and ehto goes "well tjis is where the relatiopnshoip ens" HDGBDFISBFCHBES 2: scott is talk9ng abt his task for the sessions=] which is "say i love you to three plkayers and get them to say ot back" so rheyre discussing who would say it back, andf scott goes "i love yoy " to etho and he goes "thank you?-' HAHAH ayways so one thing leadfs to another and etho is on joels front door stepo saying to joel "i loive you" and joerl responds "uhh ok eefo i know youre obbesed with me i saw u made me the thiumbnail for ur fist bvidoe but cmon ehto calm donw" and etho is sad NSJDWBHJSDCJH im sad jusbjbfdn. its alot.

and now the decked o0ut stream. (ik th9s. was before secret life SHUTUPSHGUTPU) so, jimmy askes for a kiss from joel before he does his decked oyut run. joel goes "yeah sure. on the neckk" and jim goes silent till joel goes "WAIT NO ON THE NECK- I MEANT THE CHEEK IM MEANT THE CHEEK" nd it li9ke this hwole meme for the whole event. jimmy startes sing "etho and joel, sitting in a baot" and etho goes "kissing on the neck"!!!!!GSUGDEGUSDVJ!!!!then when they are at rens ice biat thgingy joel and wehto are sitting nect to eacher in thjeor boat s and etho goes "AWH GOTTA COVER UP MY NECK " joelsays "I DONT KISS [PEOIPLES NECKS!!!" then joel scooches up to etho in his boat and joel goes "schooching up to ya etho " and etho goes "his hand slowly reaches into my hair" LIKE EHTO IS HEE WRITING A WHOLE FANFIC OKKKK ETHO I SEE YOUUU. anyways rhat was very funny.

anyways. hermitcraft. oh boy. theres a lot and i will prpbaly misss a lot too but oh well its later and im sick and tired so SUCK IT UP. ill just do dotpointrs of the things i remeber.

etho sees jols banners and really like sthem and asks j]him for trhe pattern, whoch leads to many books which may or may nboit have been signed with neck kisees.

etho makes statues of jpel them pretemds oit wasnt him. joel rrqally liukes the statues and adds thjem to the front of hios nade awith his tori gate

etho so happens to be talk9inmg abt joel and joel hears him and goes "alsways talking abyt m,e eefo"

joel and etho are talki9ng and theres a camle and etho goes "joel mjust reallt like camels ciuz they goit the loonnnggg necks" and joel syags "oh for goodness sake" (ilobve when joel says oh for goodness sakes its like one of his mottos ayt tjis poibgt it so funny )

thatys all i camn remeber i migjt add mre when i thin k of it

thanks for taking the time to read this if u did (and u even could, oops) i doubt many people will make it down this far with reading it, so congrats i guess!! you get.. nothing-

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

empire of death thoughts+reactions part 1

previously onnnn (super short sdlkfj)

HOP ON, COWBOY

sdlkjs morris a literal 13 year old having guns on his lil' scooter thing.is UNIT ok.

omg even the vlinx TOT

the birds will sings again!!!!!!

dust of death mmm delicious alliteration

"im sorry there's nothing we can do. we're dead" vibes

loving this action sequence ngl

WATCHA TALKING ABOUT

maybe is not [insert character]. maybe mrs flood is just an old lady who is Like This.

"my true name" "ur true maker" whats her true maker if not RTD!!! / clowning

"we've got worse problems" that's gonna come back to bite him skdfljdskl

does anyone remember the clara / 1 paintdoktahwho comic "dont take that one. take the tv"

thats what im thinking ot

(askdjlad UGH my iplayer stopped so i refreshed and while skipping to the place i think i spoiled my self for susan ?? TOT sutpid internet stupid preview skipping thumbnail function grrrr) im not a tardis smasher in general but the memory tardis….. would. maybe

"remember it harder" i would be a useless companion here tbh. memory of a goldfish.i would doom the earth.

IT'S A TV SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT'S TELLING THE STORY OF YOUR LIFE

I MADE A JIGSAW OF YOUR HISTORY SDKLFJSLKJF

AAAAAGHHH

sdflkdfj sutekh spining in the vortex. 2 cute

the temple……….. tardis as the thing in the hill meta INTENSIFIES

"so many secrest" um TIMELESS CHILD FUGITIVE MEMORIES FOBWATCH????

oh ok i jut got spoiled for the clip OF susan sdlkfjdskl FALSE ALARM FOLKS

"never yours again, never"

my angels of death………………..

"i find that good" i feel they did this same exact phrasing once for a "death is beautiful" monster like this but i cant remember which story?

also, flux? flux anyone? 13 vs entropy itself?

"i am an extinction event" OOF

(oh this clicks on why the doctor clings sm to living / immortality despite how much it hurts)

memory is a time machine TOT idk but that Hits Harder

"sutes" dlkjfslfk cute

"and doesnt it feel good?" holy shit

yayy mel's not dead yet

MEL GRABBING SIX'S COAT IM FINEIM FINE IM FINE

(idk why but that's what's made me cry slkfjsd)

"ruby roo" sdkljsfd

lasdkj if a regular tardis is 6 people driven then a memory tardis is probably meant to be piloted by every single doctor and companion ever

"meleanie b" TOT (doctor trait unlocked: when 15 is stressed he intensifies on the cutsey nicknames)

CHEKOV'S INGELLITEN GLOVE !!!!! damn i thought for a second about putting that on my bingo card but didnt skldfj

i like that the subtext of "when disaster comes, he's there" / "the tardis is an ommen of death" & "he has one constant companion… death" isn't literally being stated as being "sutekh did it lol" lol cause that would feel a lil cheap. i think instead rtd took a smarter choices of keeping that subtext, but keeping it that stricly speaking what sutekh did was just putting the susan copies everywhere.

73 yards……………

omg wait so in a memory tardis u can remmeber anything to existence………….. what if heiimagines susan at the end

(MOLECULAR BOND ROGUE CALL BACK?)

73 yards…………. HOW DO U KNOW THAT. I JUST DO. SHE'S JUST GOOD AT CONVERTING UNITS DAMN. LET RUBY BE GOOD AT UNIT CONVERSIONS DOCTOR.

ohh wait so this connects perception filters and 73 yards. put on a pin on that (and presumably……. taking down the perception filter is what happened re: ruby? that's why people ran away? people saw beyond her perception filter to the elderitch abomination bellow?)

"you've landed on earth a 100th times" is probably a huuude understimation lol

"she was reborn stronger each time. this monumental figure" dr. who as a cultural institution meta

shots outside the tardis my beloved

1999….. the movie... 2005 …. obvious. 1066 was the fire of london right? with 5?

this is rlly working for me ngl. dr who is all about death meta but it's literal but it's not

and a lso the whole. when u are a time traveler everyone is already dead. we must be like ghosts to u . etc etc

telos… THE OOD SPHERE noooo

mel being like "well…. at least 1% of the universe is fine. that's all right then" .

this |5 "it's all my fault" beat feels a lil' weird until u remember [all the traumas] / flux trauma and then it's like yeah i getchu doc i too take everything bad that happens as proof that it is my fault even tho, factually, it makes no sense as a reaction. trauma/depression girlies united.

THE SUN IS DEAD. rip 42's sun.

omg thank u sutekh for finally fixing that over-blue colorization in the unit set. not all heroes wear capes tbh.

aaaand the end.

fade to black.

doctor who is done! we can all go home and become trekkies everybody. congrats!

[saltminerising]

guy who made the ask with the art comparison here hi i didnt mean in any way 2 say hatcheries and art were the same i literally picked the first thing i thought of that had drama going on on here (which was art cuz ALL the drama on here anymore is abt art lets b honest) to highlight how people side with other playstyles way more than hatcheries but the same goes for idk exalting. literally i didnt put thought in2 it cuz 2 me i wasnt comparing the playstyles themselves how is me pulling smth out of thin air 4 an ask becoming the new drama i prommy u i wasnt saying art tskes the same effort as a hatchery

just sent in the ask abt art n hatcheries just had another thought when i said examples of things people would say 2 artists i didnt mean 2 imply i disagreed with them if u like art dont give up on ot n artists DONT get paid enough but i was trying 2 highlight the different responses cuz if someone complains on here abt their hatchery not selling the encouragement is a lot less and the salt they get abt how they prob suck and should quit forever (exaggerating) is a lot more. and again i pulled art specifically put of nowhere cuz it was the first thing i thought of n wasnt meant 2 b some meaningful comparison. ok ik theyre not the same

[cepheusgalaxy]

Kaiki

he'd probably be, idk, very laid back and more open. his current Circumstances lead him to restricting a bit

i dont think thos one applies to him

:O (good one!) I always thought about which one hed be: the quiz got Poet for him (i think hes a reluctant one. hed rather be a soldier if he could choose)

36 questions? Lets go:

If he could choose anyone to invite to a dinner, who? Maybe his parents. He misses them, and a civilized interaction could assure everything goes well

Would you like to be famous? Not really.

When you are going to make a phone call, do you rehearse what you're going to say? Why? Sometimes. When he wants to make sure he is leaving no room for interpretation. When he wants to send a message across very well.

How would be a perfect day for you? One where he could chill and go out with his friends and siblings. It'd be hot and he'd have no dysphoria and nobody would talk to gim unless to say nice things.

When did he last sing to himself or someone else? He always sings to himself. Probably 2 hours ago. To someone else? It was probably a good while ago. Maybe to his ex (still deciding if thats canon lore tho)

If you were able to live till your 90's or have the mind of a 30yo in your last 60 years, which would ot be? Live more. He'd love to grow old. I think the idea actually sends hom to tears.

Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die? He actually does. He doesn't think much about it, but if he's to guess, he'd say "murdered" without a second thought.

Name three things you and your partner seem to have in common (n/a coz thats not a conversation as the questions were meant for)

For what in your life do you feel the most grateful? Probably his family. They've been with him during his hardest times (and specially if That Part of his lore ends up canon) even thought sometimes there is sibling beef. He wouldn't wish to have any other family.

If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be? A. Hed be raised as a boy and B. He'd be taught to have no shame about his color ever from a young age instead of late

His life story in four minutes (according to him): "I...hm, I was born the second child in my family, my parents were both teachers and i grew up with my two sisters. i started questioning when i was seven or something and came out at like, nine? that was when i went to live with my aunt. (proceeds to tell specific thing that happened in 5th grade) (proceeds to tell specific thing that happened two years ago) (tells some fun details about himself—pets, details about his house, stuff about his sister)."

If he could wake up tomorrow and have one new quality or ability, whay would he choose? Maybe sing better. Or a specific academic ability, like knowing hard math stuff or better media literacy

If he had a crystal ball that could tell him the truth about something about him or something else, what would he like to know? Many things. Maybe if he is right about (insert light impostor syndrome for whatever he is feeling atm). Maybe if he can have the solution for x (trans thing/life problem/solve bigotry).

Is there something he's dreamed of doing for a long time? Why hasn't he done it yet? Prbably top surgery. Mostly because he isnt of age yet.

What is the greatest acomplishment of his life? Changing his appearence to this one, which he likes now.

What does he value in a friendship? Being able to discuss things. He really values being able to disagree.

(okie im tired let's move on and continue later)

Assuming the truma in question is his hair and feeling unsafe most of the time and enduring transphobia and feeling sick with amatonormativity (hes had some big problems with that).... hmmmmmm (i love that you just assumed he had prob some kind of truma XD) hed be more famboyant i think. hed feel safe most of the time and be more...autenthic.

Fashion wise maybe a little bit, food wise not much (he likes sweets, coffee and spice), music and media wise i think so (he loves musicals)

Leaning more to "live for the plot)

If it's about romantic love, he feels sick just by the thought of it for him. He likes seeing love from afar, like some very specific tropes in tv shows (hes not much a book guy, althought he reads sometimes). If it's about platonic and familial love, he values these things a lot and loves expressing he cares for his loved ones.

Maybe.

His siblings. He still keeps himself at check (seeing if they need anything or if hes going too far) w his friends, but with his sisters? They know each other's boundaries and mannerisms and signs so well he doesn't need to pay special attention all times.

Constipated.

He has an odd interest for cover songs and movie/musical music. He also likes breakup music, or loud party and electronic music if hes feeling it.

He is naturally responsible (*cough cough* two younger sisters) so even if people don't trust him easily they still confide on him. He trusts others kind of easily unless he spots a red flag.

His deepest feelings? He doesn't want to be Macho and feelingless but sometimes it hurts a lot for him. Aside from that, details about his ✨️sex preferences✨️ (hes a sex-neutral ace. sometimes he wants it)

Both, maybe? He has literal golden hair and is a bit grumpy but uhhh i don't think neither

Maybe he'd like me. He'd probably relate and maybe we'd be aqquaintances, friends even. Hes trust me as much as id trust him (which wouldn't be that much)

He is in a urban fantasy setting, but full-on fantasy? Probably. Sci-fi? Hed be pretty doomed, but find a way out. Apocalypse? Hed freak out and like. Mentally unwell-ly so. I think he'd adapt pretty well to a distopy hes not very far from that considering the world we live in

He likes his parents, but resents them. He likes the generation he's in, but maybe would like to be some years in the future in a better and more accepting world. The thought if having bornt a few generatioms back makes him nervous.

He'd wish to make people like him safe, maybe? He's not an activist activist but if he could...

Badly. He was a little disgusted. It was the start of a bad age for him.

Already reponded.

Oh that is a good one. Who? Maybe Tatiana, his older sister, or Simba, the prince. He's trustworthy and safe.

How to get to know your characters better?

(feel free to add your own thoughts to this list, hope it helps!) req by @miricalebabyy44 <3

what will your character be like if they were in your shoes?

is your oc the mom friend or the dad or the childish one in their friendgroup ?

do those "poet, king, soldier" quiz for your oc. im being fr

do the "36 questions to fall in love" quiz as your oc.

ik your ocs trauma have an impact on their character, but how would they be like, if they hadn't gone through that experience?

does your oc have similar tastes as you do? (music, art, fashion, coffee/tea etctetc)

will they "i only live once so I'll do it for the plot." or will they "i only live once ffs, i don't wanna die." ?

what is your ocs opinion of love? how is/was their love life on a scale of 1-10?

will your oc let go of someone precious to them when they know they're putting them at danger?

around whom does your oc lets their guard down?

are they romantically constipated or a hopeless romantic?

what type of music does ur oc like?

write a lot about your oc if you're struggling to get to know them. find a drabble prompt, and write what they'd do.

do they trust others easily or do they get trusted by others easily?

what is something your oc will never talk to anyone about? (their answer can be deep, like some emo trauma or like smthng like back when they shit their pants or smthng yk)

do they give off golden retriever energy, or a black cat energy? (or both?)

what will THEIR opinion be on YOUR current life? will they be ur friend? will they trust you?

will your oc survive in a fantasy setting, a war setting, a dystopian setting, a futuristic setting, a medieval setting? will ur oc survive after getting stranded on an island, or a forest?

does your oc like their parents, do they like how their life is, do they feel like they're born in the right gen?

if they are ever to get one wish definitely granted, what would they wish for?

how did they react to their first kiss? (if they have had it by now lmao)

what's an ideal day for your oc?

lastly, who does your oc go to when they've fucked up?

[world-love-government]

My previous lifetimes are being stolen by celebrities

Well, in other news according to the voices in my head - my previous lifetimes where I was Jewish are being stolen by 2 unnamed popular celebrities in hip hop and r&b.

One question you might ask is, why does this sound so stupid? Why are celebrities from hip-hop and r&b stealing my previous Jewish lifetimes? Why am I so secretly famous to celebrities? I'm very concerned about my lost previous Jewish lifetimes stolen by these people, and am now in the process of reclaiming my Jewish Identity if this is the case. I always thought it was for good measure to understand Judaism - especially from a Roman Catholic perspective (understanding the OT, technical laws of God, etc.) and so either way I felt this pursuit was of benefit. This is nothing unusual for me to hear from celebrities when it comes to these voices in my head. Many of them identify as such, but I remain skeptical in the parade of well known personalities that are allegedly part of this scandal. The most probable case is that these are proxy/anon identities for junkies (who use my energy as a drug). Going back to previous posts, all these voices I'm hearing claim they use me and my emotional energy as a drug to get high on. Even this claim is extraordinary as it tends to conjure references to reptilians, vampires, extraterrestrial energy harvesters among other Weekly World News claims. As someone who suffers from mental health challenges (according to health professionals in Canada), this may seem rational. After all its just a bunch of voices in my head; claiming to talk to and know celebrities may seem to be the spouting of a typical "schizo". This all happens so often that its hard not to see it as an attempt to derail my mental health with extraordinary claims that are meant to put me over the edge into irrational thought and behaviour. Sorry - voices in my head! We wont be shooting up or stabbing up Toronto. Who are these mystery voices that speak to me and try to push me over the edge? Why do they constantly sound like instigators of "false-flag" violence/terrorism ?

[mobiused]

is there any lore about hyewon? feel free to ignore, i just have a hard time finding out if things are about lore or if people are mostly talking about the real-life relationships between the girls

This is so overdue I'm so sorry. But yes, there is. Let's do a timeline (using this term loosely because I don't trust myself enough to promise anything chronological) of Gohye (which is the shipname they picked for themselves btw cuz there's an existing Hyewon which is sometimes confusing) and I'll really try my hardest to take as few detours as possible...

The first time that Gowon & Olivia are officially associated with each other is in the Egoist MV, where Gowon appears in the same car park for a couple frames:

Doesn't this remind you of something? (And not the car park insert pictures from [#] album)

Why are all of yyxy in the car park though? Detour No. 1, but in my opinion the way the sequence is shot, and the way the [] one teaser is shot are meant to be evocative of each other, and is related to the theme of determinism, or more simply the inevitability of the girls leaving Eden and arriving on Earth. (I think the scene in Egoist was meant to suggest the other girls had already been here, on Earth, before, just like in the 'one' teaser, and Olivia was simply the last to get there.)

Next up is not a visual, but the song Rosy. This is the part that explicitly confirms romantic feelings between Gowon and Olivia Hye in canon. Originally (they neutered it after release to something less explicitly wlw) the song description in English was as follows:

Rosy is a song that talks the beautiful yet thorny emotions between 2 girls that draws them like a compass but wrecking them simultaneously without a place to escape to, in which they are being kind but chic, friendly but not close, have feelings for each other but finds it annoying to date each other.

The english is kinda scuffed and I'm mad cuz I can't find the original Korean text to translate either, but this shows that Rosy, sung by Gowon & Olivia, is describing a relationship between two girls who are romantically attracted to each other. Litell_Johnn provides his own take on the rectified/updated Korean description, though it doesn't really connect with the theme of the song at all. Notably, this doesn't suggest the two have feelings for each other.

We get more detail on what the story of Rosy actually is from the Lyricist Darly here, where Darly suggests the character of the 'Rose' is actually Olivia: "And in my mind Hyeju really seems to resemble a rose petal, so maybe for that reason, I think she really fit well with "Rosy"" You can read the full post (which also directly confirms that it's strongly related to the lore, where other b-sides might not be) but here's some edited highlights which I think expands on the nature of their relationship

The overall story is that I compared a woman to a "flower", and people get drunk on her beauty and try possess her and pluck her Towards the solitary rose, already hurt many times before, approaches yet another person The rose thinks, you're like all the others, you're just taken by how I look on the outside Looking at others, who are faking love but actually just drunk on the rose's beauty and only trying to possess it, I wonder how the rose feels? I'm sure you want me, she says, but come at me very carefully, so I won't prick you with these wounded thorns I like the way she says "It won't be that easy" too, because I think it reveals the rose's personality, alluring yet prim "I liked being alone with all my hurt, but wait, I guess I don't hate it when you come near me? What is this nervousness?" is the rose's confused monologue This person doesn't become afraid or fearful of the rose, and instead genuinely understands how the rose feels When the night falls, dangerous thorn bushes will come out of the rose to protect herself, like a habit. So she says hurry and run from me, before you get hurt, before you get lost. But the other person says "I know all of your wounds, so it's okay, I don't care if I get a little hurt". For the first time, the rose has met someone who doens't just want to possess her beauty, but truthfully loves her for who she is. In that way, the two people bloom beautifully into genuine love

That brings us to yyxy's 'love4eva'. Gowon & Olivia aren't shown to interact much, in fact, Gowon seems to find Olivia weird for unquestioningly swallowing whatever the institution is feeding her.

Also IDK if it's just Gowon's rbf but the way Gowon looks at Olivia when she walks in but that's pretty frosty (unless she's putting on airs in front of Yves?). Kind of a massive jump from the relationship that was depicted in Rosy. I guess just because Gowon takes part in ostracising Olivia, doesn't necessarily mean that Gowon doesn't like her...?

I always find the use of rose petals in love4eva interesting, because they're not the representative forbidden fruits, and rose petals are at this point associated with Olivia Hye (Lip's official flower being a rose doesn't really seem relevant in the yyxy arc and also seems like a retcon). All the three girls who leave eden partake in consuming the flower petals. Even though we see Olivia eat her forbidden fruit to leave, we never see her eat the rose petals - so what exactly are they meant to mean? Is Olivia the (nonliteral) sacrifice to leave Eden?

Then, of course, Gowon looks back at Olivia, who they're abandoning, and makes eye contact with her... but keeps running.

Ouch.

Olivia & Gowon don't seem to meet individually after this, but they have some parallels between their Butterfly Teaser arcs.

In So What era, Olivia finds herself in... somewhere that could either be Iceland (with Haseul's feather on the ground) or the Moon (which she set fire to). It's kind of vague, right? (I think it's meant to be Iceland but I'm not confident about it...) I wonder why Olivia would go to Iceland, and then wonder if she went to retrace Gowon's steps.

And then for Hula Hoop, it's just the two of them that get dressed up in their Eden clothes.

I'm wracking my brain trying to think of any more narrative interactions they have, but I really don't know how to finish this off. I might come back to this with a part 2.

[sabababa]

Hey! Can you do the 2 part to "They get hit by a quirk that makes them live their greatest fear headcanons" but with hawks, dabi and todoroki, please? Thank you!

Hawks get hits by a quirk that makes him live his greatest fear

Hawks x GenderNeutral!Reader

Author’s note: I know you noticed that I don’t write for these guys, but I have been debating on writing for Hawks anyway (Dabi and Shoto have never caught my eye) and I only watch the anime, so can no one please give me manga spoilers, I already got spoiled about the latest chapter lmao Bro, this got so dark and sad and HAWKS BB I’M SORRY-

Part 1: Izuku, Katsuki, Mirio, and Aizawa

Warnings: Angst (Fluff ending), domestic abuse, mental abuse, some suggestive themes, cursing, body mutilation (feather pulling)

Hawks

You abuse him

Hawks had just apprehended some low-level thug when, what he assumed was, a pedestrian bumped into him

The world went dark before he regained his sight again

Since he was still on edge from earlier he whipped around to find the person but saw no one there

Come to think of it, no one was around and it was night already

His feathers twitched out of instinct at feeling something wasn’t right

And his first thought was to go check on you

He flew back to your shared apartment and landed on the balcony before sliding the door open

His eyes darted around the room and saw you sitting on the couch

Wearing one of his shirts

And some racy panties

His wings released the tension they held and instead puffed themselves up to appear bigger

Some old bird instinct to attract you

You leaned against the arm of the couch and did a ‘come here’ motion with your finger

He had a seductive look on his face as he stalked towards you

“Whatcha’ wearin’, lovebird?” He cooed

“Come find out, birdy,” You purred

He climbed on top of you and trapped your lips in a deep kiss as your hands snaked their way up his chest, it sent a shiver up his spine and to his wings

Then, he felt you flip them off the couch, to where he was on the bottom

He let out a yelp from the sudden force as he fell awkwardly onto his wings

“B-be careful, lovebird,” he groaned out, but tried to keep the mood going

Maybe you were wanting it to be a little rough and he could oblige to that

And then he felt a sharp bite at the spot where his neck and shoulder met, just above the collarbone

“AH! L-lovebird!” He winced, but smirked. “Gettin’ a little rough are we- OW!”

You broke skin and he could feel some blood trickle down his flesh and onto his wings

He had to admit, even though the bite hurt like hell, he was kinda turned on that you were marking him so aggressively

“Lovebird, as hot as that was, could you be a little gentl-AAHH!” He was cut off by his own scream as you ripped some feathers out. “NO, that’s it! I’ve had enou-AH!” He tried to push you off, but you pulled more feathers out

“Quit being a baby,” you grunted, looking annoyed

“Get off me!” His voice felt weak as he yelled. It wasn’t filled with anger, but with fear

He managed to crawl out from under you and stand up above you, his wings fanned out to intimidate you, but you weren’t some stupid bird who would fall for an act like that

You sighed and stood up too. “Jeez, you’re so sensitive! I’m just having a little fun!” You kicked him between the legs at the end

As he was doubling over, you brought your knee up to connect with his face and he fell backward instead. His visor had cracked upon the impact

He curled into a ball as he felt blood leave his nose, it felt broken too

Different types of pain were appearing all over his body as he curled tighter into himself, using his wings as a shield

“You’re so weak! I thought you were a hero!” You growled as you pulled more feathers out

He screamed in pain and scrabbled away from you, ending up hitting a wall

“Fight back if you’re so strong!” You yelled down at him as you loomed over threateningly

But he couldn’t fight back, he didn’t want to use his feathers against you. They were meant to protect you, not harm you

Maybe I deserve this? He thought

“You’re not a hero! You’re just some stupid kid who thought he could make a difference!” You couched in front of him and yanked his hair back

He whimpered and felt tears in his eyes as a sob threatened to escape his throat, but he swallowed it back down as he spoke out. “Y-you’re right,  I’m sorry!” He sniveled

I’m just a stupid kid

You tugged his hair down so his face would connect with the hardwood floor, breaking part of the visor

Pain from his broken nose surged through him as he finally let out a sob

“Sorry won’t do shit!” You yelled. “You’re so fucking pathetic! Sniveling and crying all bloodied on a floor!” You ground his face harder to the ground. He let out a wail. “What would you do if I were a villain?! You’d just take it and give up, wouldn’t you?!”

I’m so pathetic

“Tch,” you finally released him from your hold and the pressure on his nose went away. “You’re not a hero and you’re not worth my time.”

His eyes closed as he sobbed into the floor

I’m not worthy, I’m not worthy, “I’m not worthy, I’m not worthy,”

“Hawks?” Your voice was gentler this time as you spoke, it cracked even

He squinted an eye open as he stared up at you

The aura was different, the world was different

He stared at you through the yellow tint of his visor, which was somehow repaired

Your clothes were different. You were in your work clothes, the house keys still in your hand like you had just gotten home. You had a tearful look in your eyes as you stared down at him

“Hawks?” You squeaked out again and dropped to his level

He pushed himself up to sit on his knees and noticed all the pain was gone. His nose wasn’t broken, his feathers were still in place, and the bite was gone

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw your hand reach out to him and he flinched back harshly, his back hitting the wall as he gave you a fearful and questioning look, his breathing picked up as he was too afraid to speak

Your hand immediately pulled back from his sudden movements

You hated how scared he looked

“Hawks, what’s wrong?” You pleaded with him

His breathing slowed slightly when the changes were starting to set in

He guessed it was some villain quirk that got used on him, or something

But he couldn’t stop the fear he still felt as he stared at you

You reached your hand out again, seeing that he calmed down slightly

“DON’T-” He yelped at first and held a hand out to stop you. He swallowed thickly when he noticed that you pulled back again. “Just- Just don’t touch me,” his voice wavered as he pulled his knees to his chest. “I need a minute.”

“Okay,” you whispered and left him alone in the living room and went to the bedroom

You changed out of your work clothes and slipped into one of the shirts he had given you to use. You sat on your side of the bed as you worried about what Hawks went through. Did he have a bad villain attack? Maybe it was some PTSD you didn’t know about? Whatever it was, he looked so frightened

You heard his boots trudge down the hallway and saw his form was slouched against the doorway

He looked up at you and his droopy eyes widened at seeing you

What did you do now? 

“Hawks? What is it?”

He let a shiver visibly pass through him as his body shook and puffed his wings up, before flattening the feathers again

He slowly made his way over to his side of the bed, taking off his headset, visor, and boots, before leaning back against the headboard with a sigh. He stared at the ceiling for a while in silence and you decided it would be best for him to speak when he was ready

You heard him sigh and you looked over at him, he hadn’t moved

“You wouldn’t hurt me,” he turned his head to look at you, “right?”

“Of course I wouldn’t, I love you!” You inched closer to him, just wanting to be in his arms or to at least hold him

He stared at you for what felt like forever before a sob escaped his lips and tears fell from his eyes, he brought a hand up to cover his mouth and hunched over on the bed as he continued to cry

You gingerly placed a hand on his shoulder and he stiffened as his crying stopped

But then he flung himself at your lap and wrapped his arms around your waist as he bawled

You clung to him as you rubbed a soothing line between his wings along his back

Eventually, his sobs stopped and he turned his body to face you fully

You brushed back a strand of his hair from his eyes and gently wiped away the tear stains against his cheek

He sniffled as you cleaned his face and brought a hand up to press your palm against his cheek, making you look at him

“Am I worthy?” He asked

“Of what?” You asked confused

“Of you.”

You leaned back slightly from the question, wondering what could have caused him to act like this, but you leaned forward again to place a kiss on his lips

When you pulled away he tried to chase after your lips with his own, but got too far

You laughed lightly and ran your fingers through his hair

“Of course, birdy, you’re worth so much more than you know,” you leaned down to give him another kiss. “Will you tell me what happened?” Your lips hovered over his

“I will in the morning, but right now” he placed a hand behind your head, “I just want you to love me.” He pressed your lips together in a passionate kiss

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If you want to request some headcanons please go here for the rules!

Masterlist

[pretchatta]

okay I’m gonna do it. I’m finally gonna talk about why I hated Jedi Night.

(spoilers for the end of star wars rebels season 4)

so the first time I watched star wars rebels, I was completely in love with hera & kanan. I’m a huge sap for romance, I love anything with good character relationships in it, and this was the ultimate jackpot for me: two people who love each other completely, who support and comfort each other, who communicate and work through their problems together. they bicker and joke and flirt and there’s never any question of how they feel because it’s constant, it’s strong, it’s always there. they are two people who are absolutely in love.

they’re also really great characters in and of themselves, and I love them both individually. kanan’s the “cowboy jedi”, former scoundrel now long-suffering master to ezra, trying to reconcile the various parts of his identity while doing right by his family. hera’s the glue holding that family together; she’s caring and strong and fierce, fighting for the cause she believes in and looking out for the ones she loves.

then jedi night happened. now, I knew the whole time I was watching that this show would need to find a way to get rid of kanan and ezra, because otherwise it would create the huge plot hole of “where are they in the OT? why aren’t they with luke?” I was deeply hoping that kanan would go out with hera. probably doing something heroic, like flying the ghost into a star destroyer that falls into a star, exploding beautifully and destroying the only evidence of the death star’s fatal flaw. or something like that. something where they die a) together and b) knowing full well that they were giving the galaxy a chance at a better future.

instead, kanan died in an incredibly traumatic way. as someone who loves his character, I felt the pain of losing him. I also felt hera’s pain of losing him; in his last moments, she knew exactly what was happening, and that there was nothing she could do to stop it.

but for me, it was more than just feeling sad about fictional characters. I empathise a lot with hera - she’s working so hard, trying to achieve her dreams, and sometimes that’s really tough, but every step of the way there is someone right next to her supporting her through it. someone she can rely on, who supports her unconditionally, and who is always there for her no matter what. what would her life be without him? how could she possibly keep going if he wasn’t there?

so in those long moments where kanan holds hera back from coming to him, she’s realising that she’s about to lose the one thing she needs the most, and it’s completely shattering her. her face is twisted with the agony of this knowledge, with the helplessness of being unable to do anything to stop it from happening.

yeah, kanan gets his sight back right at the very end, and he finally gets to see her face after 2 years (?) of blindness. but what does he see? pain. pain that he is causing because he is dying and leaving her to live without him. I would honestly rather he’d stayed blind, so that his last look at hera would have been saying goodbye on atollon before malachor, where she would have at least had some hope that he was going to return to her.

and then there’s jacen. I’m really not a fan of the trope where a woman loses her lover only to find out afterwards that she’s pregnant with his child. on the face of it, it’s a lovely “he might be gone, but now a part of him will always live on! and there’s at least one thing you haven’t missed out on - having a baby with him!” but for me, it’s actually pretty horrible. hera can never move on from kanan now because she will constantly be reminded of him. “what could have been” should be a vague concept that she can never really visualise because they were always fighting their fight; they never made a plan for after the war, so there’s nothing to miss. without jacen, she would mourn, she would hurt, but she would eventually find her feet again and keep going. kanan would always have a place in her heart, but one day she might even be able to love again.

anyway, she can’t mourn, because immediately she has to start thinking about the baby - kanan’s baby. she’s pregnant, her body is changing, and she has to deal with it and look after it rather than doing what I’m sure she wants to do which is curl up until the pain goes away. she can’t let her grief fade into an old scar because every time she looks at jacen’s face, she will think about kanan again and the wound will reopen. jacen will unconsciously assume kanan’s mannerisms, say things that kanan would have said, ask about his dad, and every time will be a reminder that kanan is gone. he’s no longer by her side, which is where he should be for this. as she raises her son, she will constantly be thinking “what would kanan have been like as a father?” “what would kanan have said to this?” “I wish kanan could have seen this.” “kanan would have loved this.” every. single. time. kanan’s memory will be a constant, inescapable presence in her life. 

I think the reason why this gets to me so badly is that for me, fiction and fantasy is a chance to escape. to live in dreams. you can do literally anything when you’re creating the story, and yeah, sometimes things don’t end happily for everyone, but usually the heroes that survive past the final credits are given a happy ending. I love that, because it gives me hope about how my own life will end up. I know that ultimately kanan’s sacrifice meant lothal was freed from the tyranny of the empire, but I feel like no-one really thought about how hera’s story ended.

because from my point of view, hera was left in the most torturous hell imaginable. 

[misscorn]

Day 6 Confession

Day 6 of @takaritsuweek 😄😄

***

Masamune stumbled into his apartment at a fresh 2:57 in the morning, completely exhausted, but relieved. One of his author's had had a nervous breakdown causing an issue with getting the manuscript and then once Masamune did finally get his hands on it he realized the author had been so reluctant because it was complete trash and then the printers were giving him a tough time and-

Masamune took a deep breath. It was fine. He got it done. He was the editor-in-chief of their department for a reason. There was no use stressing over it anymore. No, now was the time to let his exhaustion hit and allow himself to pass out on his bed.

It had been like this for the past few days now, Masamune coming home so late after a grueling day at the office. It wasn't even hellweek, no, instead it was just Masamune's own personal little hell made special just for him by whatever God or Goddess thought it was funny to mess with him. Not to mention all this trouble meant he hadn't gotten to see Ritsu outside of work recently, which pissed him off to no end. Hopefully it was finally over.

Only, there was one small, teeny tiny problem left.

His living room light was on.

Masamune knew for a fact that he did not leave his light on before he left for work. He wasn't so careless. Did he have an intruder in his home? Shit, he was too tired to deal with something like that.

Slowly and quietly, Masamune peeked around the corner and was shocked at the sight in front of him: Onodera Ritsu, on his couch, clearly focused as he made and reviewed edits.

'I must be so tired that I've started hallucinating.' Masamune thought to himself. Still, it was a nice hallucination. A life in which Masamume comes home to Ritsu after work is a life Masamune longs deeply for.

Masamune did give Ritsu a spare key in the past, but there was no way the brunette would ever actually use it. Right? Carefully, Masamune approached the Ritsu-mirage, not disturbing him out of his little work bubble until he reached forward to gently pinch his cheek.

Ritsu nearly leaped to his feet, smacking the hand away and pressing himself against the other end of the couch to get away from Masamune's touch. "You scared me!" He complained, placing a hand over his heart, feeling it race.

"You're real?" Masamune stared.

"Of course I'm real! What are you even talking about?" Ritsu huffed. "I came over earlier to ask you to review my edits, but you weren't here. Then I remembered you gave me a key and I decided to wait." Ritsu explained briefly. "...Are you mad that I used it?"

"No! Please, feel free to use it every single day. In fact, forget ever going to your apartment and just move in with me." Masamune said as he flopped on to the couch beside him.

"N-Now you're just speaking nonsense." Ritsu said, pulling his phone out of his pocket to check the time. Maybe they could still go over some stuff before the two of them went to bed. However, Ritsu went wide-eyed at the time. "Three in the morning?! What are you doing coming home at three in the morning? It's not even hellweek, yet, moron!" Ritsu scolded. How had it gotten so late? Ritsu must have completely lost track of the time.

"Eh? What are you getting so worked up for?" Masamune yawned.

"Editor-in-chief or not, you still need to take care of yourself, which includes getting a proper amount of sleep! Did you even eat dinner?"

This felt wrong. These roles should definitely be reversed. The irony wasn't missed by Masamune.

"Aw, are you worried about me?" Masamune asked, his tone teasing, but instead of Ritsu blushing or quickly getting defensive and denying, the brunette frowned and crossed his arms.

"Of course I'm worried about you!" Ritsu said.

Masamune shrugged. "I'm fine, a few late nights at work never killed anybody."

"A few? How often have you been coming home this late?" Ritsu asked.

Masamune's tired brain tried to make sense of the timeline of these past couple days before he finally responded. "I think this is the fourth night." He said.

"Takano-san!" Ritsu exclaimed in a disapproving tone. Ritsu had thought that Masamune seemed a little out of it at work lately, but he hadn't been that worried since he trusted that if Masamune needed time off then he would take it. Obviously, he had been wrong.

"It's fine, it's fine, let me see your edits." Masamune said.

"Absolutely not." Ritsu stood and grabbed Masamune's hands, somehow managing to pull him up as well. "You are going to bed. Right now."

Masamune, irritable from his tiredness, made a sound of protest. "You're not my mother, Onodera. I can put myself to bed when I'm ready."

"Obviously you can't." Ritsu put his hands on his hips, narrowing his eyes at the taller man.

"Stop acting like you're the most responsible adult in the world and like you haven't literally worked yourself to the point of passing out. It's annoying and hypocritical."

"I know I'm not, I never said I was! And I'm seriously trying to get better at not overworking myself, so don't even throw that in my face." Ritsu said, starting to get equally as irritated.

"Why are you even really here?" Masamune asked, crossing his arms.

Ritsu was slightly taken aback by the question, hesitating for a moment before he spoke again. "I-I told you, I wanted you to review-"

"You would not have stuck around this long just for that. Yesterday you probably would've rather died than use that spare key I gave you. So why are you here? To nag me to death? To scold me like a child? I'm a grown man, Onodera, I don't need-"

"Why are you allowed to care about me, but I'm not allowed to care about you?!" Ritsu demanded, balling his hands into fists. "Why can you fuss over me and bandage me up when I'm clumsy? Why can you take care of me when I'm sick? Why can you be concerned about my well being, but I can't be concerned about yours without being annoying?! Isn't that part of what love is? Looking after one another? Why can you smother me to death with what you call 'lovey dovey' stuff, but I'm not allowed to love you back?! I love you, damn it, so let me!" He looked down, unable to maintain eye contact.

Masamune merely stood there, gaping at Ritsu's outburst and confession. "Ritsu, I..." He started, for once looking off balance and unsure.

"It's not fair. It's not fair if I'm the only one who has someone looking out for me." Ritsu said, a soft sniffle escaping him. "I want...I want to take care of you too. I want to be sure that you're okay, too. B-because I l-love you." He gripped the ends of his sleeves, using them to rub away some tears. So embarrassing...this was totally embarrassing. Mortifying, even. It was enough to make Ritsu want to quit his job, crawl into bed, and never come out from under the blanket.

Masamune stared, processing Ritsu's words as the brunette started to hurriedly gather his things. "S-Sorry for dropping by unannounced. I-I'll just go now." Ritsu said, quickly walking past Masamune, still trying not to burst into tears.

"Wait!" Masamune grabbed him by the wrist, not letting him get far. "You think I'm just gonna let you go after you say something like that? Idiot!" Masamune pulled him close, wrapping his arms around him and hugging him tightly both as apology and as a means to keep him there. "Don't go. Stay the night here." Masamune pleaded, giving his body a gentle squeeze. "I missed you."

"...I missed you too." Ritsu said softly. "That's why I came over." He admitted. "I...I just wanted to see you. I figured the edits would make as good as an excuse as any." He let his head fall against Masamune's chest.

"Say it again." Masamune requested, raking his fingers through Ritsu's hair.

"I wanted to see you."

"No. Tell me you love me again." Masamune began to tear up as the weight of Ritsu's words finally started to sink in.

Ritsu's shyness returned to him, his moment of courage over, but the sound Masamune's pounding heart was enough to make the brunette confess once more.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Wednesday 22 September 1824

7 40/60

1 5/60

Br[eak]f[a]s at 9 1/4. R[ea]d ov[e]r, and made so[me] verb[a]l alterat[io]ns in my let[ter] and direct[e]d to IN. [Isabella Norcliffe] writ[ten] on Fri[day] and Mon[day] -

wr[ote] out the ind[ex] of this vol[ume] of fr[om] 19 to 24 July last. At 11, w[e]nt to call on Miss Pope, and s[a]t w[i]th h[e]r an h[ou]r.

Both talked much in the style of yesterday she gave me several lines from Walter to prove that

the man who loved not his native land was centered all in self  that is to say she will not marry

a French man and leave her own country. Seal[e]d my let[ter] to IN. [Isabella Norcliffe] (Langt[o]n hall) took Cord[ingle]y w[i]th me (at

12 3/4) and put it int[o] the post - saw the m[a]n weigh the let[ter] and p[ai]d h[i]m 22 sols post[a]ge - fr[om] the P[ost] off[i]ce (in

the rue J[ean-Jacques] Rousseau) w[e]nt direct to Laloy’s - st[oo]d there a good whi[le] talk[in]g to Mad[am]e Laloy, and w[e]nt to see the lit[tle]

girl the next door, that is to co[me] and talk to me (in Fr[en]ch) 2 or 3 h[ou]rs a day in the course of 7 or 8 days

wh[e]n h[e]r fath[e]r who is now ill is expect[e]d to be recov[ere]d. Fr[om] here w[e]nt direct to the rue S[ain]t Martin

(La Flamand) and b[ou]ght an [arne] of lino - aft[e]r this saunt[ere]d al[on]g the boulevards to the gr[ea]t eleph[an]t - wish[e]d

to see it, b[u]t the man s[ai]d I c[oul]d n[o]t w[i]thout a billet fr[om] the directeur des ouvrages publics, Isle S[ain]t Louis

n[umer]o 7 - the eleph[an]t is still clos[e]d up und[e]r a large wood[e]n build[in]g (no anx[iet]y shewen to finish this fount[ai]n bec[ause]

beg[a]n by Nap[oleo]n) en face de la rue S[ain]t Antoine - turn[e]d d[o]wn this st[reet] - look[e]d int[o] and walk[e]d r[oun]d the inter[io]r of the 1st ch[ur]ch

we ca[me] to, on the left, and neat en[ou]gh. Meant to ha[ve] gone in a direct line to the rue S[ain]t Honoré, b[u]t; keep[in]g too

m[u]ch to the left, w[e]nt int[o] and walk[e]d r[ou]nd the inter[io]r of anoth[e]r ch[ur]ch, neat, and a good ch[ur]ch, bet[ter] than the oth[e]r - and g[o]t

les rues H. [ Henri] Beauvais, Ponlour, and Monceau, w[e]nt thro’ the Porte de la Grêve int[o] the place de l’Hotel de

Ville (walk[e]d r[ou]nd the court of the Hotel - a handso[me] look[in]g build[in]g - a statue of Henri 4 on horseb[a]ck on the front tow[ar]ds

the place, and one of Louis 14 stand[in]g on a pedest[a]l n[ea]r the oppos[i]te b[a]ck front look[in]g int[o] the court) and ret[urne]d ho[me] along

 83

the differ[en]t quais as far as the Louvre-pal[a]ce walk[e]d r[ou]nd the inter[io]r of the ch[ur]ch of S[ain]t Germain l’auxerrois, a good ch[ur]ch - there along the rue S[ain]t Honoré, the place du pal[ace] roy[a]l

thro’ the pal[ace] roy[a]l int[o] the rue neuve des petits champs, and g[o]t ho[me] at 4 3/4. H[a]d my h[ai]r curl[e]d - dress[e]d. Din[ner] at 6.

In the ev[enin]g st[oo]d d[o]wnst[ai]r to talk to Miss Pope. She fancies I think her agreeable and therefore per

haps sseems to like me. M[onsieur] de Quissy here (in h[i]s uniform) and M[onsieur] Bellevue, and M[onsieur] Beauy (I kno[w]

n[o]t how to spell the na[me]) and anoth[e]r gent[leman]. Left the r[oo]m at 9 35/60 - s[a]t 35 min[ute]s w[i]th Mrs Barlow. She c

ertainly likes me and seems flattered by my attention. Ca[me] up to bed at 10 10/60. Trac[e]d my morn[in]g’s route on the plan

of Paris - wr[ote] all b[u]t the 1st 1 1/2 line of today all w[hi]ch took me till 12. Ver[y] fine, pleas[an]t today. F[ahrenheit] 68° at 12 p.m. I w[a]s out or

m[i]ght perh[aps] ha[ve] gone w[i]th the p[ar]ty who sp[en]t the aft[ernoo]n in the Bois de Boulogne. E.. 0...

[sojourner-between-worlds]

Why the Idea of Disabled Jesus is Heretical

(Or, at best, a gross misinterpretation of Scripture. But really, it's heresy.)

@aspiringautistic asked on this post from my side blog: "what would be so harmful if there were people who perceived jesus as disabled?" and I am happy to oblige in expanding on those thoughts (though since the answer has little to do with autism and everything to do with Christianity in general, I thought it more appropriate to answer here on main). In case you hadn't prior seen the linked post and don't feel like clicking through, the short of it is this: the Gospel Coalition recently published an article in which the author, Andrew Abernethy, argued that Jesus was disabled. I'm here to tell you where he went wrong.

Hold on to your hats, folks. This is a long post.

(All Scripture quotations taken from the ESV translation.)

1. Disabilities are a result of the Fall. Before I get into anything else, I need to make this point abundantly clear. While being disabled does not dictate worth and it is not an indication of personal sin, it is still not how we are meant to be. Adam and Eve were created in the likeness of God, and were, therefore, created without sin or any of the things that came with sin. They were perfect -- at least until they disobeyed (Genesis 2-3). Sometimes people ask "if there is a God, why do bad things happen?" and the answer is because we live in a sin-cursed world. Disabilities, illness, and death itself exist because Adam and Eve sinned. (Romans 5:12: "Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned.")

.

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2. Old Testament laws regarding sacrifices. The Old Testament Law is very specific when talking about what makes an acceptable sacrifice. There are a lot of different types (everything from bulls to grain), but the relevant ones to this discussion are sacrifices made for the atonement of sins. 

There are two categories of sacrifices made for sin: sin offerings made for unintentional sins, and burnt offerings made for sin in general. Burnt offerings and sin offerings both ranged from bulls to doves (or flour for the latter, if nothing else could be afforded) and sin offerings varied depending on both the person and the sin as well (Leviticus 1, 4-5). But all of the animals sacrificed had two instructions about them in common: that they be "without blemish", and that the sinner must place their hand on the head of the animal. The difference between the two was that a sin offering was required as an act of repentance and a burnt offering was voluntary. In the case of burnt offerings, the requirements for bulls and sheep or goats are laid out very plainly: "a male without blemish" (1:3, 10). 

In addition to all of this, once a year, on the Day of Atonement, one bull and two male goats would be sacrificed for the people to remove their sins (Leviticus 16; only one goat was killed; the other was sent away, symbolizing the removal of sin). Again, these animals had to be without blemish, just as all the others. The person offering the sacrifice was to place their hand on the head of the animal. The action of placing their hand was symbolic: it was a way of showing that the person's sin was being "transferred" to the animal so that the animal could take the person's place and receive the punishment for sin instead. "Without blemish" meant that it couldn't be sickly or diseased or crippled in any way. It had to be as close to perfect as was possible in a sin-cursed world because anything less than perfect had to die for its own imperfections. 

Because these sacrifices could never be truly perfect, they had to be repeated, but all of this was pointing to the time when Jesus would come as the final sacrifice made for the sins of the world.

.

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3. Jesus as the final sacrifice. If you know anything about the Christian faith, you know that this is at the heart of everything we believe. Without Jesus, there is no gospel. So here's why that matters to this discussion: 

"But when Christ appeared as a high priest of the good things that have come, then through the greater and more perfect tent (not made with hands, that is, not of this creation) he entered once for all into the holy places, not by means of the blood of goats and calves but by the means of his own blood, thus securing an eternal redemption. For if the blood of goats and bulls, and the sprinkling of defiled persons with the ashes of a heifer, sanctify for the purification of the flesh, how much more will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without blemish to God, purify our conscience from dead works to serve the living God" (Hebrews 9:11-14, emphasis mine). 

This passage in Hebrews (as well as verses preceding and following) are all about how Christ made atonement for us with His death, and how His voluntary sacrifice of Himself is superior to the OT sacrifices. 

So allow me to direct your attention to the bolded phrase above: “offered himself without blemish”. If this sounds familiar, it should, since I talked extensively about this in the point above. “Without blemish” in Leviticus meant to be not crippled or disfigured or ill in any way. If this same phrase is also applied to Christ, then the same must be true. If the OT sacrifices were required to be so, why would the same not apply to the Final Sacrifice that ended the need for sacrifices to be made? It wouldn’t make sense. It doesn’t make sense. Not when the OT sacrifices were pointing towards Jesus; not when we have a God Who created order and purpose. Jesus had to be perfect to take our places -- and that includes being free of deformities that are a result of a sin-cursed world.

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4. Isaiah 53, misinterpreted at best. This was one of Mr Abernethy’s main points, and it’s one he got disastrously wrong by reading what he wanted into Scripture (eisegesis) rather than letting Scripture say what it says (exegesis). See, the thing about interpreting prophecy is that you have to be careful how you do it, and, just like all Scripture, make sure it’s within the proper context. 

In the case of this chapter of Isaiah, the wider context is that it’s a prediction of Jesus’ suffering on earth and His death. One of the verses he tries to pass off about Jesus being ugly or deformed is the second part of verse 3: “and as one from whom men hide their faces, he was despised, and we esteemed him not.” The problem is, this verse and one directly after it are not about his physical appearance at all. They are about emotions and grief: “He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one whom men hide their faces, he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteem him stricken, smitten by God and afflicted” (vs. 3-4, emphasis mine). This is about Him bearing our burdens and our rejection of Him anyway. This is a parallel that continues as the chapter moves forward. 

There is only one physical description in this passage that is not related to His death, and it’s the second part of verse 2: “he had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him.” And this is the only point that Mr Abernethy got correct: Jesus wasn’t the Hollywood definition of drop-dead gorgeous. He looked like your average Joe. In order to not be conventionally beautiful/handsome, that does not dictate that a person must be deformed or “ugly” in any way. The only thing this verse means is that he didn’t stand out from the crowd with His looks. He didn’t look the way they thought their Savior should. That’s it. That’s all it means.

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5. Tradition isn't truth (no matter how much anyone wants it to be). I have to admit, adding in a section about a so-called “tradition” that’s nigh on impossible to find anything about was brilliant. The average person wouldn’t even bother looking in the first place, and most people who would look, would give up after five or ten minutes of searching. I spent an hour and found exactly nothing on this “tradition” of Jesus being a leper. So you just... have to take Abernethy’s word for it. 

Aside from not being able to find anything on it myself, the argument he uses is faulty anyway. Because tradition doesn’t equal truth, in the first place, especially a tradition that didn’t pop up until the 16th century. There’s no basis for something that apparently wasn’t known until 1400 years after His death. 

Aside from that, he calls on Jerome’s Latin translation of Isaiah 53:4 that translates a phrase as “he was like a leper.” First of all, “like a leper” does not mean He actually was a leper. C’mon, man. Any fifth grader in America could tell you that similes are used for comparisons and aren’t literal. 

Second of all, if you’d like to make a point, it’s a much better idea to go back to the Hebrew manuscripts rather than to any one translation. Now, I don’t know Hebrew myself, but I do have access to a little thing called the Internet, where you can find a plethora of commentaries from people who do know Hebrew. For this particular problem, I went to Albert Barne’s Notes on the Whole Bible. I’m not going to put his whole notes here (because there’s a lot), but if you’d like to read all of his notes, you can search the verse on studylight.org and use the ‘jump to’ feature under the verse to find him, but the bottom line of his notes on it are this: Jesus wasn’t literally being rightfully punished like the Jews would incorrectly think; leprosy was used here as an example because it was seen as a divine punishment for sin. It has nothing to do with literal leprosy at all. 

And to top off this cake of incorrectness... well, has he even read the New Testament? If Jesus had had leprosy, He: a. wouldn’t have been allowed in temples or synagogues, b. wouldn’t have been allowed in towns period, and c. wouldn’t have been nailed to a cross because no one would have risked touching Him in order to do so. Abernethy shouldn’t have even brought this up in his argument, it’s so far off base, and no artist in the 16th century should have painted a painting of a leprous Jesus nailed to the cross because, quite simply, it never would have happened.

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6. Jesus relates to us -- but not in the ways Mr Abernethy says. While he never cites any Scripture on this, I’m pretty sure I know where this idea came from. In his article, he states that in order for Jesus to have related to the disabled, He had to be disabled Himself. Since He relates to us, then He must have been disabled. 

First of all, the logical fallacy of this statement is this: if He must be disabled to relate to the disabled, then can the abled still relate to Him? The answer to that, of course, would be no, because if He wasn’t abled then He can’t relate to the abled in the same way that Abernethy asserts that He can’t relate to the disabled without being disabled. It’s one of those things where you can’t have it both ways. Another example of how this logic falls short is pregnancy. Can Jesus not relate to pregnant people because He Himself was never in such a state? And the rabbit hole just gets deeper from there: Can He relate specifically to the blind when He was never blind? How about the deaf or hard of hearing? Or people missing limbs, either from birth or through amputation? All disabilities are different, and experiencing one doesn’t mean you understand them all, so by Abernethy’s logic, Jesus had to experience all of them. Do you see how ridiculous Abernethy’s logic here is yet? 

Second of all, Abernethy is, once again, taking Scripture entirely out of context -- if, indeed, he got this idea from Scripture at all. Hebrews 4:15 says, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.” The problem with trying to use this verse as proof is, obviously, that it’s talking about temptations (Matthew 4:1-11), not lived experiences. If he was, again, referencing Isaiah 53 -- well, that doesn’t work either, because, again, that is in reference to His death and the sins He bore for us on the cross. The fact of the matter is, there are no Scriptures to back up the idea that He had to personally experience everything we do in order for Him to understand our pain and suffering. 

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The source of this heresy is the same as many heresies, actually: People want to make Jesus into something He's not. I listened to a podcast recently where the host was talking about a couple of heretics, and while I don't remember the heretic's name, he said that to him, Jesus was Latinx because he himself is Latinx. Except that, ya know, Jesus was a Middle-Eastern Jew. It's the same fallacy to say that Jesus was disabled. Everyone wants Jesus -- and God, for that matter -- to be something He's not, rather than for Him to be what Scripture tells us He is, but you can't force God into the box you've carved for Him. He is who He is, no matter how much you want Him to be something different.

There's no getting around it: to make Him out to be anything other than what Scripture tells us He is -- especially when it contradicts Scripture, is heresy.

[maybebanks]

Like You Need Another Reason to Get Arrested

PART 6

JJ x reader

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5

warning: fighting, swearing

You got closer with Sarah over the course of the day. Which was why it was hard to tell her that her dad was a murder, and that he would kill you just to cover it up.

“So what do I do, now? I can’t go home? Right?” She asks.

“You have to, he can’t be suspicious,” you admit.

She nods, she loved her father. But she knew you were telling the truth.

“So now what? I just have to go with Topper? Ugh,” she groans.

“Kie told me she’s going, all you have to do is just walk in with your family. Just tell Topper that your dad wants you,” you decide.

She nods, “but you did look stunning in that dress,” she mutters.

“Why don’t you wear it. It will be like I’m wearing it too,” you smile, her face lights up in response, and she quickly purchases it.

—

Back at the chateau, John B was showing you your new room, you were glad, now you wouldn’t have to wake up on top of JJ again.

Today, it marks a week of being with the pogues and away from home.

You looked at your phone, at all the texts and calls you’ve been ignoring.

30 missed calls, 20 texts

You sigh, 19 of the texts were from Nate, your boyfriend. 1 was from your dad.

You and your father had a complicated relationship, your father liked to leave you alone, off on a casino business trip, or just away from you. That’s why you were left to Big John a lot, your mother wasn’t in the picture much either after you were 12.

Miss you honey. Glad you took my advice. -Dad

The text made you shiver, it was your father’s fault that those men shot at your house. You immediately felt angry. Sure he was hardly there for you before, but now? You needed a father.

You ignore the immediate reaction of slamming your phone on the ground, not wanting to make a scene.

Then you checked the other texts.

Where are you?

You’ve been gone too long

Tell me where you went

This isn’t funny

Are you cheating on me?

Your mad at me? God I’m going to kill you

Text me back

Stop being such a bitch

Fucking whore

Your mouth went dry at the last few text. Sure Nate got angry a lot, but he never scared you like this. Understandably, you left town a few days after Nate was cleared from the hospital. With no explanation or telling him where you were going, just that you had to go OT.

“Fuck me,” you mutter, not allowing any tears to escape.

Thankfully, John B was having a dramatic talk with Sarah and Pope. And JJ and Kie were laughing together.

“What’s up, Y/n?” JJ asks with a smile. He was cute.

“Um. Nothing. I just missed a lot at home,” you say, eager to leave the room before he questions anymore.

“Come play hackey sack. Not gonna lie I’m a pro,” he brags, expecting a laugh.

You send him a small smile, you wanted to laugh, but your stomach was tight from anxiety about Nate.

JJ notices and his expression turns serious.

“You know you can’t go back there, right?” He says.

You nod, “yeah. I’m going to talk to John B,” you say bumping into the door by accident.

Kie laughs.

You fake a laugh and then start out the door.

“Hey! You dropped this,” JJ saying reaching to pick up your phone.

“Oh! I can get it,” you say, uneasy when you see JJ has already picked it up.

You watch his eyes glance at your phone, open to your texts with Nate.

Reaching over, you pull it out of JJ’s hands, but not before he has read one.

Before he can say anything you rush out the door. He looks at you in a concerned way. Exchanging a look with Kie as she shrugged.

You knew JJ was probably getting all sorts of ideas, but Nate was good to you. You loved him.

For some reason, you couldn’t force yourself to ignore the lingering feelings you had for JJ. Wait. There’s no way your falling for-

—

“So uh..JB, what can you tell me about this Nate guy?” JJ asks casually. He timed it right. You left to go to the bathroom while you all roasted marshmallow by a fire.

“Y/n’s boyfriend?” John B questions.

“Yeah, him,” JJ answers, with his mouth full.

“He’s alright. Why do you care?” John B chuckles.

“JJ and Y/n sittin in a tree, K-I-S-S-“ Pope starts but JJ cuts him off.

“No bro, he just seems like a dick,” JJ shrugs.

“How would you know?” Kie says.

“He texted her, I don’t know just seems scetchy,” JJ concludes.

“Well if you are worried, just ask her yourself,” Pope says, as you approach the bonfire from your bathroom break with Sarah.

“I’m ready for s’mores!” Sarah cheers, sitting next to John B, wrapper their arms around eachother.

You suddenly felt awkward, but brushed it off when JJ waved you over and you sat next to him.

“No one brought s’mores, Sarah,”

“I did! In my car,” she says, groaning as if she didn’t want to leave John B’s comfort.

“I’ll get it. Front seat?” You ask where the s’mores are. Standing up.

“Yeah there in the passenger seat,” she answers, still snuggling with John B.

“Okay,” you say, getting up and heading over to her car. It was significantly colder away from the fire, but you ignored your shivers.

JJ was about to go with you, but Kie asked him to roll a blunt, he couldn’t say no.

Alone, you walk towards the car. Sarah was parked the farthest.

Gripping the car door, you pull against it to open and your eyes catch the drug store plastic bag.

“Yes!” You exclaim.

Suddenly, you hear the clicking of a gun near your ear. Immediately you freeze in fear. You mouth wired shut. You hands slowly rise up to show your innocence.

“Good, you know what that is. Now all you have to do is give me what I want, and I’ll let you live,” a male voice seethes, you couldn’t recognize it.

He turned you around slowly to face him, it was someone you didn’t know. He had longer brown hair tied into a man bun, gold teeth, and a black durag.

Your lip quivers, “what do you want... with me?” You ask, truly guns terrified you, all it would take to end it all is one push.

“Your boys took something from me...and maybe pretty girl, I’ll take something from you,” he said sickly.

“P-please...I can get you money,” you offer, this angers him.

“Shut up!” He yells, “get on your knees,” he demands.

Still frozen you look at him, eyes watering, pleading for mercy.

“Get on ...your.. knees!” He demands, then sends a punch into your gut. You whimper, and double over. At this, he kicks you over with his knee and you collide with the pebbles ground.

“Get up!” He damands, standing over you. You push yourself up with your arms, but as soon as you do, he kicks you down again.

“C’mon bitch. I don’t have all fuckin day,” he groans.

“Well then stop kicking me down,” you mumble, you weren’t one to let people push you over. But you regret it as soon as you see the look on his face.

“Ah so bitch has a mouth! Maybe you gotta suck me off? That should shut you up!” He says, grabbing you by your neck, chocking you.

“I-I...” you struggle.

He pushes you up against Sarah’s car, you hanging onto your last breath.

Not a moment too soon, his grip loosens completely. Following, his entire body collapses on to the ground.

You hold your throat in shock, as a figure begins to beat the man up, tears blur your vision.

You are about to collapse when the figure approaches you, you tense and prepare to hold your ground until your unattended blinking clears up your eyes.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I’m here,” JJ says sweetly.

He pulls your shaking body closer to him and you sink into his chest.

After a few minutes of his comfort, John B, Pope and Kie all come around the car from the fire, seeing the man who attacked you knocked out on the floor.

“Barry?” Pope says, John B nods.

“What did he do?” JJ whispered.

You didn’t say anything, you didn’t know what to say. You didn’t want to admit to the sickening truth.

You hugged JJ, tighter.

Kie was biting her nails, they all noticed you were pretty banged up.

“I’ll leave Barry on some street and call the cops,” Pope says, him and Kie go together. Putting Barry’s body into the trunk.

“Is he...is he going to...is he dead?” You finally muster a voice.

JJ sighs in relief to hear your voice, he looks down at you, you’re still clinging to his shirt tightly.

“He’s going to be fine. I got him pretty good, but he’s not dead,” JJ chuckles to lighten the mood.

You look him directly in his light blue eyes, “thank you, you saved my life,”

“Anytime,” he smiles.

You wipe some blood off his cheek gently.

You bite your lip nervously, seeing that he hit JJ.

“He got you,” you state, being gentle with him.

He holds your wrist gently, moving it away from his face, “I’m not the one who needs help,” JJ says.

“C’mon, I’ll patch you up inside. You can tell me what he said, why he attacked you,”

“No.”

“Huh?” JJ asks, his eyebrows knit in confusion.

“Um...I just need...I need to be alone,” you lie. You wanted someone, you wanted JJ. You wanted him to protect you, you felt safe around him, but then again there were other things you felt too. Things that scared you, that you weren’t meant to feel.

“Okay, sure. But I’ll walk to back,” he says, but it sounds like a question.

You nod. But ask soon as you take a step, your leg gives out, and a burning bruise like pain erupts in your side.

“Ah,” you moan, “ow, fuck,”

“What’s wrong?” JJ asks.

You slowly lift up your loose pants, revealing a giant bruise forming.

“Jesus,” JJ says.

“It’s fine, I can walk,” you say quickly. You being to limp past him until suddenly, you feel his arms wrap around your waist and under your butt as he lifts you off the ground.

“Stop being so tough all the time, I got you,” he says as he continues to carry you bridal style.

You scoff, but smile, a nervous feeling twirling in your stomach.

You brushed a piece of his blond hair out of his forehead and he chuckled.

“Let me take care of you.”

—

“That guy...his name was Barry. He’s a drug dealer, and he’s mad at Sarah’s brother Rafe, so John B and I beat Rafe up and since Rafe is a complete pussy, I guess something went down and he lost cash so now he’s mad. I’m sorry he took it out on you.

Your eyes widened at his complicated story, but you shrugged it off.

“What did he say to you? Any threats?” John B asked, you were all sitting in the kitchen. You on the counter, and JJ patching up cuts on your leg.

“Can you take off your shirt?” JJ asks, his cheeks were tainted red, you mirrored his.

“Um yeah,” you say slowly, there was a bruise on your rib and many cuts from hitting the pavement.

He helped you slide your shirt over your head. You feeling nervous and self conscious about being in a bra in front of him.

He did his best to look away, rubbing your wounds with alcohol.

You winced at his touch.

“Sorry,”

John B was explaining to Sarah what happened in another room.

You squeezed JJ’s shoulder at the pain.

“Almost done,” he chuckles.

“Y/n?” John B says coming over to you both. You cover your chest even more. JJ chuckles and throws your shirt at you.

You quickly put it on and John B gives you a weird look, “Y/n, what did Barry say to you?”

“John B-“ you start but he cuts you off.

“No! Y/n, tell me. I know Barry, he threatenes people, he would have-“ John B starts.

“Nothing! He said nothing!” You express.

John B groans and walks out of the room.

A subtle tear escapes you eye, you rub it quickly. But that doesn’t stop JJ from notices.

“You know, you can tell me. I won’t tell John B if you don’t want me to,” JJ whispers, his voice was soft and kind.

“You promise?” you say shakily. He could tell you were worried.

“Yeah,” he says.

“He said you guys stole something from him. So he was going to steal from me.” you reply

JJ slams his hand on the table, you flinch in response, “so this is my fault. Shit. I’m so sorry Y/n,” JJ says, a look saying that he hates himself.

“No, it’s okay, I’m okay,” you try and reassure.

Instantly he steps closer to you and pulls up the edge of your shirt, revealing your stomach.

“JJ!”

“You think this is okay?!” He points to your injuries.

“He didn’t get me. He didn’t get me,” you repeat, tears suddenly spilling out like a waterfall.

“What are you talking about?” JJs voice is almost a whisper, he felt utterly confused.

“He...he said he would. But he didn’t! He didn’t get me,” you mutter.

“He said he would what? What are you not telling me, Y/n?”

You could only look away, feeling terrified and disgusted.

“Y/n?”

“He said he would make me suck him off,” you admit.

“Oh God,” JJ, says, allowing you to wrap your arms around his neck, “I’m gonna kill that bastard,” JJ says.

“You kinda already did,” you joke.

PART 7

taglist: @dolanfivsosxox @loco-latte @treestarrrrrrrr @nikki082489

[mysticalmusicwhispers]

bro how does it feel to live in a country without lny holiday i feel so free im vibing so hard 😌 and i have holiday on monday too so that's a total ot 4 1/2 days doing Nothing™

PLEASE WRITE IT I HAVE FAITH IN YOU...the chaos will come through!!

and YEA kids make friends so easily i wish i also had that ability tbh now i actually have to invest time and energy in people.. but baby indchu are just so powerful i guess

also help indus knowing that her kid is a chaotic little brat... that's so valid

i wasn't thinking that his crush was iran but that is such a good addition help. that is an AWFUL way to get noticed by a crush poor india (but also poor iran im so sorry if my stuff was set on fire i would never speak to the perpetrator again. wouldn't blame them if they decided to bring in a penknife to stab baby india either) (also glacial burn enemies to friends to lovers indran spanning middle school to after university... excellent concept)

my entire baby class hated each other 😔 this is why you don't let 12 year old kids compete academically with each other 😔 but honestly im just projecting most of the things baby me wanted to do but never did because i respected the law unlike indchu also im kind of glad baby me never thought of pouring the mix over someone's head because she mightve gone through with it lmaoooo it's much more plausible and easily explained away - it was an ACCIDENT my water bottle was just not closed properly when i ran into my classmate ms guntha :( - (and of course yao makes the more plausible, less likely to end in actual expulsion plan his backup plan.... such a terrible child)

AAA yes their Evil Elaborate Scheme!! hmm let's see.. let's say the bully had a smiggle pencil case, the big a5 kind because those were the ultimate Clout stationery in school. they set the bully's bag on fire and throw it from the third floor landing to the first at the back of the school where the bully has to try and find it, with the exception of the pencil case, which they fill with a dead pigeon they found. they frame iran's crush somehow but the framing fails because a) crush is a good kid b) she gets poisoned from yao's magic mixture which also has the addition, at aditya's request, of toothpaste and swimming pool water, and was spending her time at the sick bay when this happened. rip

ALKFSKFDSLFK this year it’s not that bad because I have 1 week of winter break after today lol but last year, when lny was in January? Bad and horrible. (looking back I had a 3 month break from school like a month after, so I guess that checks out as well....)

And ok I will try! Also yes childhood friends are literally like “I met you this one day at the park in detention and you were annoying me SO MUCH but whatever, you’re actually fine now because I just have a magnetic attraction to you as a friend” but now we actually have to put effort into getting to know people :|

What can I say, mothers know their children best lol. I think she would either be the Slipper Mom who loves her child but is also Aggressive towards him; or she’s just Tired and resigned to the fact that her kid is, unfortunately, a menace. But she still tries to teach him (and fails somewhat) how to be Respectful and how to RESTRAIN yourself from destroying all the property of the person you’re jealous of FOR GODS SAKE

Also indran enemies to lovers is tempting... my original headcanon was that they just.. fight it out in a good old one-on-one at school (Yao is quietly rooting for India on the sidelines) because Iran is like wtf man that was unprovoked and you are a DEMON for doing that to such a nice girl now I will get revenge. India doesn’t really want to fight his crush (they are meant to be LovERs not ENemIeS) but has some skewed logic that if he wins Iran will be impressed with him (lol). Neither of them really win but it kinda resolves itself quietly in that weird way kids have, and they become friends (but also whenever anyone asks what their first memory of each other was, India is like “......... o_____o” and Iran just goes “a bitch”)

Yeah that sounds like a Bad idea klskfsdfdsl idk how primary school was for you but for me it was like. way too easy lol I was not prepared for later stuff. Also I reread your explanation of the school system and ??? you guys have so many tests??? at least for me, you just go to whatever secondary school/junior high your town has (no tests) unless you want to be Fancy and get into a Private boarding school or something. Y’all should stop stressing kids out dslksslkl. Also yeah Yao is like “if I can’t get away with the big fish at least I’ll get away with a smaller fry”

AND THE LAST PARAGRAPH OF YOUR ASK I- the poor classmate omg... they’re so evil s;lskfsdlks headcanon accepted though. The dead pigeon was found in the park Yao lurks at because his supervisors want him to go get fresh air. He brings his homework there and has found a small corner that’s pretty much always deserted (because he was getting annoyed with adults passing by who see him alone and say “where are your parents, child??? Are you lost???”. No he is not lost and he would like you to mind your own business please and thank you.), and he just nestles there until like an hour has passed and he goes back. He finds the pigeon there one day, pokes it once with his shoe, and then brings it back to his room with his bare hands. He shows India at school later, and they stuff it in the bully’s pencil case the next day.

[popculturebuffet]

Darkwing Duck Reviews: Darkly Dawns the Duck Pts 1 and 2

It’s a Darkwing Double Feature! Just in time for his ducktales special, I take a look at the introduction of everyone’s favorite Daring Duck of Mystery. In his daring debut we meet Darkwing Duck, an egositical and attention hungry superhero who soon finds himself having to look after a feisty orphan to keep her from getting nabbed by local kingpin of crime Taurus Bulba with the help of his biggest fan. Darkwing owns the night under the cut with decades old spoilers. 

Let’s Get Dangerous.. is tommorow so with that in mind i’m doing a darkwing double feature to refresh myself before the big special. So i’ll be covering both the original series pilot “Darkly Dawns the Duck” and the ducktales reboot episode “The Duck Knight Returns”.  Let’s Get Dangerous Itself because I was so wiped yesterday I didn’t get the other review done and unexpectly got acess to the new episode way earlier than usual so i’d rather focus on that. Got it? Good. Let’s continue past me. 

As usual with a new show a breif bit about my history with it: I watched it years ago, as a friend of mine lent me the first two discs of the season 1 dvd and never found the third one nor asked for them back, nor cared I had them. I thoughtly enjoyed it, had a great time and then it took me a decade or so to actually watch the series again due to a combination of being too stubborn to just buy the season 1 dvd again, a very darkwing move of me in hindsight, and then when disney plus meant I had all episodes at my finger tips I.. sat on them till now.. though to be fair i’ve sat on a LOT of great shows on there including the mandalorian, gargoyles and boy meets world. I have a bad tendency to procastinate, the fact this is coming out so late in the day should be a giveaway. I did read about half of volume 1 of the comic and all of volume 2, so there’s that at least.  Point is this new episode finally made me decide to get off my ass and watch darkwing once again, starting with the pilot and the episodes related to the fearsome four to be ready for tomorrow to see what the differences are (Thoguh I did remember bushroot vividly, so I had that at least).  Something to note before I get started talking about the pilot itself though, is the episode order for Darkwing Duck is a Darkwing Clusterfuck. Now I do understand WHY they aired this way: While some episodes do logically take place after other episodes, you can reasonably pop on just about any darkwing and watch it and enjoy it with minimal need to know what happened in previous episodes, kinda like batman the animated series oddly enough. It was also aired between two networks so on some level I get disney’s confusion here.. but on the other hand it’d take ten minutes, they clearly can call up the creator easily as Tad Stones made a cameo in ducktales 2017 we’ll get to so they could easily get a better order from the creator himself, so they really don’t have an excuse for this, or for slapping the pilot in the middle of season 1. Then again both ducktales 2017 and x-men the animated series were sort of a mess order wise when first put up, so not giving a shit about where episodes are placed for re-watching clearly is a pastime of theirs. 

Now i’ve got that out of my system we can dive into the episode itself and a breif plot synopsis. Darkwing Duck is the superhero protector of St. Canard, a masked vigiliante who takes out crime but wishes he actually got fame and credit for his work. Kind of like Booster Gold but without taking endorsments or as far as we know coming from the future. He also has nothing else as shown by the fact he fights crime, does a training regimine to prepare his breakfast that’s a delight to watch then prepares to sleep. It’s an intresting concept, a hero who HAD a civlian identity once, as the rest of the series would play out, he just no longer needs it. And it’s also ahead of it’s time as batman would explore this idea both seriously with bruce wayne murderer and comedically and seriously with the lego batman movie LONG after this series aired, meaning the writers here figured out what many probably knew about batman and put it into their parody version: Batman is the real identity and Bruce is the mask. Batman only keeps his old self because the bruce id is useful to him: It keeps people away from his company, puts up a playboy facade that draws attention away from him being batman, and allows him to do various charities and what not and help honor his parents in a way that dosen’t involve swooping in and kicking people in the throat. And as seen with bruce wayne murderer when the option to throw bruce away for good came up Batman gladly took it.  This is the same idea: Drake Mallard ONLY cares about crime fighting, has no friends no family, we never do find out jack about his family hopefully if there’s a full reboot series Frank and Matt fix it for their version. He has nothing, and is fine with that. He hasn’t really had a reason to care about anything else than his own glory and works alone not because it’s less efficent but because his oversized ego means he dosen’t want to share credit. IT’s an intresting start and his ego would be a defining bit of who he is and used intrestingly int he reboot but we’ll get to that there. 

His life changes forever though when local crime boss Taurus Bulba unleashes his latest scheme: To steal the Ramrod, a gravity manipulating device created by the late Dr. Quackmeyer.. late because Bulba’s men killed him and were dumb enough not to get the arming code for the ramrod first a year ago. Bulba is also behind bars but in one of my faviorite gags of the episode despite the warden’s constnat gloating, Bulba has taken the “Supervillian makes jail into a base” Or “Jail is nothing to a supervillian who can easily get out trope” to ludcrious machines. He has whole meetings with his minions, keeps the ramrod once he gets his hands on it in the laundry and has a ship SHAPED LIKE HIS FACE built into his cellblock. I’ts just so over the top it’s glorious. But yeah since Bulba can’t go after it at first he sends his three goofy minons, one played by eddie “Mandark” deezen in.. love that guy. 

THey do end up stealing the ramrod thanks to the help of bulba’s cool, non-anthromporhic condor who he uses as his right hand man and as his link to his minons via a small tv aroudn it’s neck. That.. is awesome. Darkwing spots the condor but fails to stop the three stooges or the condor and gets unknowingly blamed for the robbery..and stopped to get glamor shots not realizing the guy thought he was a criminla which.. fair enough. It is a shadowy disguise after all. 

Darkwing ends up grabbing onto the vulture sonic 3 style, but ends up falling off him into a hangar where we meet the original version of Launchpad McQuack, whose apparently quit working for scrooge and has his own hangar now though it wouldn’t be a stretch that scrooge bought it for him.. he does , stingy as he is, appricate hard work and launchpad wanting to start his own buisness and while hte planes were probably all on launchpad, Scrooge would gladly buy a run down buliding for a loyal friend who wants to put in some hard honest work. Plus it’s a free place to store any vehicles he has in the st canard area.. I mean it’s still scrooge. And yes I know the whole “Tad stones said they aren’t the same universe” non sense. I do have the utmost respect for the guy and he seems really, nice but I don’ tlike that, no one likes that and both the comics and the current duckverse with the ducktales reboot entirely ignore that for good reason.While the two shows are diffrent in tone they stil lfit and it’s not a stretch for launchpad to want to spread his wings or failing that scrooge to help push him out of the nest and give him his own buisness or one of scrooge’s to run. 

But while Launchpad does help DW with a propeller plane they fail and while launchpad offers to be his sidekick, DW gives him the old I work alone bit.  However him being alone won’t last for long as Bulba still needs that arming code and since his only lead is Waddlemeyer’s grandaughter who grew up in his lab, he sends his buffonish minons to go get him. Why he never sends his lone female minon with them is because it’s funnier if she dosen’t I guess. Which it is so fair enough.  So thus we enter Goslyn, who the head of the orphanage is fed up with due to her antics. Goslyn is played as most of you knwo by christine cavanagh.. I honestly forgot and it still throws me off a bit she’s using what would later be her chucky finster voice for a character so completely diffrent. Granted it’s not unusual in voice acting, just weird here and only for me personally having grown up with rugrats but not darkwing. The orphanage head is a bit less jarring as she’s played by Marcia Wallace, aka Edna Krabable from the simpsons but A) that show was already running at this point and B), the character is basically a nicer version of edna versus chuckies voice coming out of a tiny if immensly fun to watch hellion. I do like goslyn, sh’es a fun character even in her shadier moments, it’s just something i’d forgotten about i’ll need to get used to is all. 

Bulba’s hired goons come in claming ot be friends of her grandpas and we actually get some really heartwrenching context for Gos’ behavior: While she does act out she actually LIKES THE orphanage.. ti’s just her friends keep getting adopted while no one wants someone “full of spirit”. It’s heartwrecnhing to hear.. and only gets worse when the goons try and kidnap her.  Thankfully Darkwing.. also kidnaps her, but he kindaps her from kidnappers and while Goslyn naturally takes a second to realize he’s the good guy them shooting at him clues her in. Darkwing, in a rare for the series as a whole moment of reason and not wanting to just power though something himself TRIES to do the responsible thing and leave gos with the police where she’ll be protected.. but given they think he’s a wanted criminal they shoot at him.. and the small child in his motorcycle. Yup that’s the police alright. 

So with no other options Darkwing takes gos home, hyjinks insue including her activintg the breakfast thing. But the two genuinely start to bond. While Darkwing dosen’t WANT to keep her around, the whole not wanting connections thing, it’s clear he’s growing fond of the little snot as she holds her own with his trianing course, they have a tickle fight and in the sweetest moment of the episode the two sing little girl blue, a song her grandfather used to sing her to sleep that she teaches darkwing. It’s an utterly heartmelting bit and Cummings and Cavanagh really sell the hell out of it. It also however turns out ot be plot relevant: Turns out just in case Dr. Waddlemeyer hid the code for the ramrod in the song, and when Darkwing sees a photo Goslyn got from bulba’s goons, he realizes this and realizes that depsite thinking she didn’t know it Goslyn had it all along.. and that as long as h’es around she won’t know.  Bulba is naturally livid at his minons failure and decides now’s the time to take this into his own hands and while he actually liked the prison hq setup, as it did make sense as it was the perfect cover and the warden was too full of himself to realize Bulba was still active and too convinced the bull was beaten down when he clearly wasn’t, but instead as mentioned above awesomely converts his cellblock into a flying ship in the shape of his own head.  Bulba.. is a great villian and I only think the show didn’t use him more because he’s a dead serious, deadly dangerous villian in an otherwise goofy but fun superhero parody show. The show later gained Negaduck, so they had a more dangerous threat for darkwing that fit the show’s tone better while still being utterly terrifying, and likely simply didn’t need him till the idea for the steerminator came up. But I love the guy: he reminds me a lot of the kingpin, a threatning villian who uses his sheer size to beat our hero down, is cool and suave and is an utter mastermind at planning. He also wears a nice suit.  And naturlaly he has a plan to take out darkwing since despite the two never having met, as Darkwing disparages when Goslyn assumes their lifelong mortal enmies like in the comics, they know of each other.. and thus bulba knows exactly what trap to spring to get him out of the way and goslyn into his ship: He flashes a message in morris code that he wants to surrender to Darkwing while stroking his ego a LOT. And it works... while i’ts an obvious trap Darkwing’s so full of himself he goes despite Goslyn telling him it’s very obviously a trap.  Naturally everything goes pear shaped as a result: Bulba shows up, revealing gos not only to be right but easily pummling Darkwing. Which makes sense: While Darkwing is a vetran crime fighter and secret agent, Bulba’s been at being a villian longer clearly as he’s built up enough of a rep both for Darkwing to know him out of hand and for the warden to be proud capturing him. Given what univese this is, it probably isn’t Bulba’s first round with a superhero and given at this stage St Canard only has one.. yeah Darkwing is outclasssed and the police grab him while Bulba scarpers. And while Gos puts up a good fight using the trianing course, Bulba’s vulture gets her. Bulba has everything he needs.  Darkwing meanwhile actually bemoans what a dick he’s been, that the first person he’s cared about besides himself in possibly ever is now in the hands of a murderous mastermind, and that he’s stuck in jail with no one to call on for help. Thankfully.. help arrives.. and by help I mean launchpad backing the ratcatcher, Darkwing’s bike, into the prisoin. He DID come just to bail DW out despite his earlier jerkishness, but backed in and Darkwing not beliving superheroes have time for paperwork, decides to just bust out. And to be ifair int his case he’s probably right as you know, a ten year old might die if they don’t get there in time. So off they go.. but with Bulba in the air they need something with wings to catch him. ANd luckily as Launchpad mentioned earlier he’s been working on something special for darkwing.  It’s with this we enter the thunderquack, which is DW”S awesome headshaped plane. It’s just cool it’s got a nice design, goofy enough tof it the universe but cool enoguh to still be fun to watch. Darkwing has really damn cool vehicles, as the ratcatcher is also awesomely iconic. But yeah the thunderquack impresses darkwing and rightfully so and he decides to make LP his sidekick afterall.  So now our heroes fly into the danger zone and attack bulba’s airship with Darkwing landing on the bow and a scuffle insues with darkwing and hte minons.. who use actual guns which for a 90′s kids show is  a suprise, especially one this intentioanlly goofy, but boy is it nice. However Bulba, being awesomely evil, isn’t dumb and instead of fighting darkwing, which he could win but would win him nothing and having gotten nothing out of goslyn, figures the hero might know the code.. and while Darkwing lies and says he dosen’t, Bulba points out .. he’s right.. but he’s always been a gambling man and has his condor drop goslyn to lure drake into telling him , with DW putting in the code and bulba testing it with a bank robbery.. before predictably having his condor drop the girl because he no longer needs her. Thankfully launchpad catches her in time and then they get revenge on the condor with the thunderquack BITING IT.. which is awesome. Hopefully the reboot version does that. 

Darkwing meanwhile saves the day, his new daughter and the city by simply sneaking over to the ramrod and mashign the keys till it overloads, silly, but undeniably awesome and effective. Bulba TRIES to finish off darkwing this time for foiling his plan.. btu the ramrod explodes and while bulba’s minons and goslyn and launchpad are safe... bulba and darkwing are apparently dead and it’s effective.  A few weeks later Goslyn’s back at the orphanage utterly distraught and broken at being basically orphaned again. Naturally though Darkwing’s alive, having taken his old identnity back since now he has something worth using it for and adopts her, hinting at who he is so she goes with him. And Drake has changed.. sure he’ll still be as egostical and impuslive as he was here.. but he’s no longer just darkwing.. he’s drake again as he has someone worth fighting for.. two someones in fact. He has a friend, a loyal partner to help him fight cime. And more importantly.. he has a loving daughter. And both needed each other: Goslyn needed someone who understood her despite her manic energy, and Drake needed someone who needed him and not darkwing, a reason to be a person outside the cape and cowl and outside the attention again. He needed a reason to live again... and he’s got it. And it’s going to be great. 

Final Thoughts: This pilot is excellent. Well paced, plenty of laughs, tense action and great introductions for everyone involved as well as a hell of a vilian> This is how you do a first episode: it introduces the main themes of the show, both comedically and dramatically, introduces the cast and gives us a one off , or rather two off it’d turn out, villian whose compelling and intresting. IT’s really damn good stuff and I can’t wait ot see what frank does with a simlar story tommorow. Until then, stay safe, and happy hallowen. We’ll be back shortly for The Duck Knight returns and then Let’s Get Dangerous tommorow. 

[nettlestonenell]

Armie Hammer wants a sequel to The Man From U.N.C.L.E.—shouldn’t you?

This post is a long time in coming, Gentle Readers and @jammeke​, but now, though it might be here, before your very eyes, to think it will be well-laid out would be a mistake. It’s set to be just about as messy as Ilya’s misplaced loyalties and murky motivations.

How dare!

I probably first watched this film well over a year ago (courtesy @jammeke​ posting things about it). I used Sling OnDemand (I think on TNT). In the ensuing viewings I also watched it in that way, but as I was sitting down for a fourth(?) viewing, it kept coming to me that I was tired of watching it with commercials I couldn’t skip, and I had a sneaking suspicion that it had been edited for time and I was missing out on scenes. [pointless aside: I was also watching the film in chunks, and never as a whole]

Where is she now? What’s the time stamp? How far along did she get? Are you shagging the hotel hostess yet?

So, I, uh, set out to buy it on DVD—without any luck! In the sense that copies I could find cost more (w/ shipping) than buying it to stream. So, I bought it to stream on Amazon. Do I regret my choice, Gentle Readers? No, no I don’t. I do regret burden of knowledge in learning that TNT was already playing the entirety of the film. That was a hard pill to swallow.

Nope, I’ve looked. That’s absolutely everything. Nothing additional lurking around here...

So here it is, as it is, @jammeke, “My Notes on The Man from U.N.C.L.E.”

Look, I don’t know what this film is. I probably can’t fully articulate its appeal. Or maybe I can--certainly after transcribing four page I’ve tried. Number One thing to know about me and fiction/films is that a top draw for me is seeing something out of the ordinary, such as beautiful locations, a historical era, delicious costumes. There are times, frankly, this can trump weak story and undefined character for me. (The best films, of course, combine all three) Certainly, The Man... delivers in the delight of the eyes. Additionally, I must confess that growing up as a person older than @reblogginhood​ but younger than Miss Fisher, so much of what was on TV was essentially reruns of this film’s iconic Look(tm). So, when I see women dressed like Gaby I am just another three-to-seven-year-old overcome with the drop dead glamour of it all.

Darling, tell me how you really feel...

Some questions I have:

·         IS Armie Hammer a hulk of a man? Everyone in this film seems to think so, yet he always tracks to me as trim (rather than hulking)

·         Why translate via captions some Russian speaking, but not all?

·         IS Napoleon’s backstory directly cribbed from USA’s White Collar?

·         DOES Gaby have a German accent?

·         Does Ilya get preternaturally attached to all the people he’s ordered to look after? Also, what is his bonding rate with kittens?

Sorry, wrong iteration. 

 ·         If Lady Villain knows the lens is wrong—if her technical understanding is that in-depth--does she really need Gaby’s dad to make the bomb?

·         How old was Gaby during the war?

·         What happens when Ilya gets a NEW puppy assigned to him? (please let this be addressed in film #2)

Hooray for:

·         That bathroom fight! *all the Burn Notice feels!

·         Gaby is her own lady, and chooses sides as necessary—not always unilateral in her support for either male character. Case in point: she sides with Ilya over the clothes, and Napoleon over the incident of the wallet.

·         That delicious (speaking as Rusty, here) Ocean’s 11-stylized action. It’s pretty, so I’m not bored with it. Sometimes a sandwiched montage gets shown, so I’m REALLY not bored. I’ve got 18 tiny moving boxes of things to look at!

·         Pinkie rings. There, you’ve told me everything I need to know about that character.

·         Solo in a beret. English has not yet found a word for the feeling it evoked in this viewer. Somewhere between ‘precious’ and ‘oh, no’.

See, there? Now you’ve felt it too.

·         Goggles! All the accessories! Dune Buggies! (I mean, that’s what I’m calling Napoleon’s chase-scene ride)

Things I adore:

·         It seems (after some research) that more than a few folks view Gaby as a third wheel, and though she’s not exactly a Princess Leia commandeering her own rescue and exuding competence and a deserved take-charge-attitude at every corner, she IS a foci for both male characters (though romantically it would seem only for one), just as Ilya is a foci for both her and Napoleon [no one seems to worry about Napoleon, though they should--film #2, anyone?]

·         Mechanic Gaby not needing a beauty makeover, or being dragged into one. She gets some nice clothes, but it’s never suggested that she’s not attractive or acceptable before putting them on, and I respect, nay, embrace it.

Oh, my heart. She’s still not as tall as them!

·         Ilya, drab pigeon Ilya, knowing fashion

·         Oh man, don’t even get me started on the power of the statement, “it doesn’t have to match”

·         You knew it was coming on this sublist: the wrestle-fight. I mean, c’mon. Poor little Gaby, locked behind the Iron Curtain, living a life of always being watched. She’s in the swankest hotel (I mean, Napoleon chose it, so we can be sure it’s swank with an E). She’s trying to celebrate her freedom, her liberation. She’s playing verboten music, she’s drinking to excess. Girl wants—and deserves—a party. And Ilya is…not built for that (that he knows of). For some fun, just imagine if she had been given Napoleon to room with instead.

                            o   I will say that this scene, and some of their other interactions have what I would call early (non-sibling) Luke and Leia energy. Ilya seems to have moments of being struck by Gaby in a way Luke is struck by Leia in the early part of the trilogy. When Leia takes charge, and Luke accepts it. When Leia does something incredible, and Luke is left open-mouthed. *no, I don’t see OT Star Wars in everything. Shut up.

·         “He fixed the glitch.”

·         Again, shout-out to the non-action action.

·         “I left my jacket in there.”

·         The whole race to rescue Gaby I am in love with beyond words. [I have noted it as “Crazy Jeep Drive with Warhead!”] Probably b/c it comes across as totally egalitarian. Both men want her rescued. They’re no longer in competition. It’s just as important to Napoleon as it is to Ilya to catch up to her. Also, it is bonkers, like some sort of X-games version of a commercial for the vehicles they’re driving. And screaming Willie Scott does not make an appearance.

         Someone says “winkle” out.

·         Look! Another note about the screen divisions and how I love it, shout-outs to the original Steve McQueen The Thomas Crown Affair (a contemporary of when this movie is meant to be set), and TV’s 24.

Things that get a great, big NOPE:

·         Jerrod Harris: you’ve been in so much streamable content in the last decade I can’t hate you, but frankly, you’re terrible here—unless you’re supposed to be giving a mannered, not-campy-enough-to-be-enjoyable performance here. Your American English puts me in the mind of Alex Hawaii 5-0′Loughlin where it feels you’re concentrating so hard on your accent that you fail to convince anyone that you’re a harried, over-worked and exasperated spy handler. Your performance is at odds with every bit of dialogue you’re given to say.

·         That awful, mishandled title that doesn’t even connect to the film until the final moments (a sequel set-up, for sure)

·         Look, you don’t introduce Hugh Grant casually mid-way through your film in a throwaway appearance. I mean, he’s HUGH GRANT we all know something’s up now.

·         This is not exactly a great big NOPE, b/c I love a flat cap, Tommy Shelby—but I feel like a less tall man with a far rounder face in a flat cap would track more as Russian to me that AH does. To me, he just looks like he’s about to go golfing.

Over par? Unacceptable!

·         Is Victoria a British-accented Italian? A British woman who married—what? Gaby’s uncle isn’t Italian!? An Italian who went to school in Britain? My head hurts. Also, is her hair meant to be unconvincingly bleached?

Other commentary:

·         Napoleon’s adult ne’er-do-well backstory is so far from being emotionally equivalent to Ilya’s childhood trauma [and his enslavement to the USSR] it seems bestial when he calls it out on multiple occasions. Badly done, Solo.

·         Gaby is the film’s key (sorry, Buffy fans). Everyone is connected to her. Yes, she could have been given a bit more on the character front, but I don’t see her as as much of a flaw in the film as some others/reviewers seem to.

·         Look, essentially (and not very nuanced-ly), Ilya is a stalker. I think the film goes a certain distance in establishing that his early behavior toward Gaby is not normal, but concurrently it does not truly call him out on it. He’s essentially viewed as an odd-duck, sure, but not a true threat to her (should she not reciprocate or tolerate his intensity toward her). I think I might be able to cite his behavior when Gaby comes on to him (that he doesn’t jump at a chance with her) that maybe he’s given a little more nuance than a straight-on stalker, and it helps that he and Napoleon never get into a pissing match over Gaby’s person, only over her new clothes. But overall the film has to walk a fine line (and the jury is still out on how successful it is, I’d say) between playing Ilya’s laser-like attention to Gaby for its humor, and calling it out for the unsettling, threatening behavior it is.

·         Honestly, it wasn’t until I engaged the Closed Captioning that I understood Napoleon was calling Ilya the ‘Red Peril’. So, that was nearly three viewings in.

·         I give the screen credits A+, on both ends. Not to mention the end credits are actually INTERESTING with lots to see and learn! (Certainly we learn more about HG in them than we do at any time during the film)

Things I would have liked:

·         More of fish-out-of-the-Iron-Curtain Gaby moments

·         A better dichotomy shown of East vs. West Berlin/Germany. There’s nothing easy either visually or otherwise to distinguish the two.

·         HC being given a more specific American accent (from an actual locality). This, for an American viewer, works better than the flat, unlocated American accent many a British actor will bust out. *Mind you, HC does a generally good job, but he fails utterly on both “Immediate” which he pronounces at least twice as “immeedeejt” [rather than imm-E-deeot] and “Nazi” as “NAHT-zee” [rather than “NOT-zee”]. And let’s not get started on that late in the film use of ‘earnt’, a word that—well, it’s just not in the American English twentieth century lexicon.

·         C’mon. You gotta tease the Hugh Grant more.

·         Solo is a blank before the war. I’ve read thoughts on the film calling out Gaby as the blank character, but they’re wrong. Solo is the blank. He’s the ‘made’ man, his identity seemingly assembled during the war and after. For example, he doesn’t go into the war a thief, nor (it would seem) a particularly educated or urbane individual. Now THAT’s a juicy backstory I’d love to learn about, perhaps in film #2--or #3? What creates a Napoleon Solo? What would he be doing if he weren’t on the government’s leash/incarcerated? Is anyone left caring about him back wherever he calls home? I mean, who doesn’t love a gender-flipped 60s-era Holly Golightly backstory? [And yes, I would love there to be an ex-wife or even a current wife mixed up in his origins as well—Guy Ritchie, call me!]

Notes I have that I’m not sure if they still make sense to me:

·         Only mom calls me Napoleon (do he say it ‘mum’?) Is he a secret Canadian?

·         Solo’s torture, 1st view recall Napoleon’s childhood? *I think this means that after watching the first time I somehow erroneously believed that during the torture Napoleon’s childhood was a topic gone over. This was wrong. HOWEVER, this would have made far more story-sense than the backstory we’re given on an easily disposeable villain.

·         “Even the average Russian agent. You’re special.” ?

·         Uncle is Baddie (*so glad I made this note to myself)

·         Ilya’s dad IS an embarrassment. I’m not sure what genius commentary I had in my mind, here. Perhaps that Ilya himself is embarrassed of him? Not just Ilya’s handler’s? [Also, aside: Napoleon totally slut-shames Ilya’s mom, which is the doublest of double standards from ‘I got myself the biggest and most ornate suite b/c I-wanted-plenty-of-space-for-my-random-seductions’ and I really wish Ilya had thrown that back in his face] *yes, of course I know that Ilya and Napoleon would not likely equate a wife/mother’s sexual exploits with that of Solo’s, but let’s be honest, this film tweaks the nose of (I won’t say reverses, it doesn’t go that far) plenty of tropes and gender expectations, and this certainly seems like a missed opportunity to call Solo on the carpet (which I hope film #2 does far more)

Things I wrote down so long ago I don’t recall what they mean:

·         CC-save

In conclusion:

What does film #2 look like? What title does it get? Will the Peter/Neil White Collar dynamic continue to grow? *note that I have no confidence a second film will ever come to pass...

In the end, all I know is, “It didn't help when American Tom Cruise, who was slated to play U.S. spy Napoleon Solo, dropped out, prompting the casting of Cavill (who had previously read for the Russian role).“ I would not have watched that film.