#otp:meet me at the bar

[gamerkitten]

Reunion

He had to be dead. 

Maybe he had caught a bullet from a lucky merc and this was his brain tormenting him in his last moments.

"Shepard?" 

"Garrus, is that you?"

She looked the same. Same dark hair, piled atop her head in a bun; sweat pasting escaped tendrils to her face. Her eyes were the same shade of amber, her face marred by a few scars but still sprinkled with freckles a slightly darker shade of brown then the rest of her skin.

But she was dead.

The message reaches him at home, on Palaven, his omni-tool beeping frantically. Seeing it's from Joker, he ignores it with a mental reminder to reply later. Right now, he's in the middle of cleaning his rifle.

"Garrus!"

His sister, Solana comes rushing into his room and he knows that something is wrong.

"Sol, what is it," he rises, leaning the gun against the wall, "is it mom?"

"Garrus," her voice is steady but her sub-vocals tell him she's anything but," Garrus, I'm so sorry-"

"What is it?" He snaps

Wordlessly, she crosses the room and switches on the television. The news is on and in the corner is a photo of...

"Shepard."

He struggles to make sense of what he's seeing, what he's hearing.

"It is a dark day for the galaxy," the news anchor says mournfully, " the Normandy has been destroyed with multiple casualties, including Commander Cassia Shepard, who defeated the rogue specter Saren Arcturis on the Citadel 1 month past."

The world falls away and he nearly falls with it, legs buckling beneath him only to be caught by his sister and led to his desk where he is lowered into his chair.

"Garrus-"

"I-I'm fine Sol," he hears himself say, "I just need to be alone."

"Are you sure-"

"Out."

It comes out as a growl and she takes the warning and leaves. Once she's gone, he flings a datapad across the room, tears blurring his vision.

He had just talked to her, what, two weeks ago? 

And now she was gone. He felt cold, numb. This couldn't be happening.

Tapping at his omni-tool, he pulled up Joker's message.

"Garrus, I- fuck," Joker's voice comes through, raw and ragged with greif, " I didn't want you to find out through the news. Shepard's gone. She- she got spaced when the Normandy was attacked. She saved me and- fuck man, I'm sorry."

He couldn't say what exactly happened in the weeks following that message, most of it was blurred by the wonderful amnesiac qualities of Turian brandy. Eventually that wasn't enough. He couldn't stand it, the way Sol constantly checked up on him; seeing the face of his best friend on every tv screen, knowing that he would never see her again. Never...

He returns to the Citadel and C-sec, but it isn't the same. How could it be?

The red tape that merely annoyed him before now adds to a slowly simmering rage. 

He tries, spirits, does he try. 

He tries to push against the official line that the war is over with the defeat of the Geth and Sovereign, tries to do good, tries to do his Commander proud.

Something in him snaps.

The catalyst is a smuggler, bringing red sand and spirits knows what else onto the Citadel. Red tape, too much for him to bypass, stops him from getting to him so he quits, much to his father's immense disappointment.

A little squeezing produces a name. A little more produces a place: Omega. Garrus is on the first shuttle out.

Upon landing he immediately takes down a Vorcha mugging an elderly human with a well placed hit with his rifle butt. The woman is thankful, calling him an angel;some type of human guardian spirit.

Later he finds another Turian at the Afterlife while drowning his sorrows and the two decide to take the fight to Omega's gangs.

After that, more join up until he has a squad, 12 strong, helping to clean up the streets of the space station and earning both the adoration of the locals and a new nickname: Archangel.

Adoration isn't the only thing their war earns them; credits roll in as well. His men want to take it easy, slow down, but he won't hear it. Partly because he knows they're doing good work and partly because he doesn't know what he'll do if he doesn't have a target in his scope.

 He pushes too hard.

Sidonis's betrayal catches him completely off guard. Lured away with a lie of an operation, he returns to carnage. His crew lies dead or dying throughout their hideout and Sidonis is nowhere to be found. As he does his best to keep the survivors alive, he can feel the old rage coursing through his veins as he clears out the invading gang members one by one. 

Sidonis is going to pay.

He's exhausted. The bodies of his crew are starting to smell, and he's running low on ammo. He pulls the trigger and another merc falls, they've long since stopped sending their best and he's long since stopped feeling bad about the inexperienced cannon fodder being sent after him.

Still, it won't be long now.

Moving into cover, he opens his omni-tool and does something he hasn't done in a long time.

"Hello?"

"Hey Dad."

"Garrus? What's that sound?"

He peers through the scope and drops another merc.

"Target practice."

"Then call back later."

"I-I don't think I'll be able to do that," he sighs, "too many targets."

"...I see."

Another merc falls but there are four more coming to take his place.

"Listen, Dad, I don't have a lot of time left," he says, popping out the heat sink, "I just wanted to tell you, you were right. About everything. I'm sorry we fought so much."

"Don't worry about that now," his father replies, to an untrained ear he might have sounded calm, "these...targets? Are they moving fast?"

"Not fast enough," he's looking through his scope again and notices a group who seem to actually know how to use cover, " but they're learning."

"Thermal clips?"

"Could always use more."

The group is on the move again, and he spies something that makes his heart skip a beat. N7 armor.

" No matter how bad things are," his father continues, " so long as you have one bullet left, you can still finish the job. Understand?"

"Yes sir." He mutters, shooting a concussive round at the mystery soldier. It knocks their helmet off, revealing a pile of raven-dark hair.

"Good, and when you finish up there you come home to Palaven. We have a lot to sort out."

 His focus is now squarely on the squad making their way across the bridge; he can see her clearly in his scope, right as she fires a round into the back of a merc's head.

"Yeah, we do," he says, relief washing over him, "Dad, I've got to go, but don't worry about me. The odds just got a lot better."

"I thought you were dead."

He resisted the impulse to touch her, to make sure that she's actually real and not some pre-death hallucination, opting to sit down on a nearby crate instead.

"Garrus, what are you doing here?" She asked, her eyes bright and alive.

"Good to see you too."

She smiled up at him and he felt his stomach flip, " I'm just surprised to see you."

"Well, that makes both of us." He replied, " Still, it's good to see a friendly face. Killing mercs is hard work, especially on my own."

"You shot me."

"Concussive rounds only, didn't want the mercs getting suspicious."

She crossed her arms, rolling her eyes in that oh so familiar way, "yeah, right."

His mandibles twitched in a smirk, "If I wanted to do more than take your shields down, I would have done it. Besides, you were taking your sweet time, I had to get you moving."

She had questions, he was sure, but so did he. Not that they had time for that, not with the mercs en route. 

The decision was easy, they would hold their position and with the help of Shepard and her two companions they should be able to make a dent in the merc's resistance and haul ass out of the base.

"Alright," she said, with a grin, "let's spill a little merc blood."

"Good to see you haven't changed."

The battle was desperate, even with the help, but Garrus found himself reinvigorated; watching Shepard aim down the sights of her own rifle to his left. It was her usual spot, and he hadn't fully realized how impossible it had been to fill until she was back in it.

He took aim, and had a merc in his sights but before he could pull the trigger, their head snapped back and they dropped to the floor. 

"You stole my kill, Shepard."

"Ya snooze ya lose Vakarian," she shot back, laughing over the sound of gunfire, " besides, you've had them all to yourself, don't be greedy."

"Me? Never."

She stayed by his side for most of the fight while the other humans took out anyone that made it past their bullets,there weren't many, or made entry on the lower level. It was only when Blue Suns started streaming in that she switched to her SMG and ran off to get rid of them while he kept picking off anyone stupid enough to try and cross the bridge.

Then came the gunship.

"Damnit," he growled, reloading, "I thought I took that thing out."

A hail of bullets flew towards him as he turned to fire, taking down his shields and forcing him into cover.

"You think you can screw with the Blue Suns," taunted the pilot, "this ends now!"

Swearing, he made for cover on his left just in time to see a rocket fly in his direction. The world exploded around him and he felt himself become airborne before landing in a heap, excruciating pain radiating through his body as his vision began to darken. Somewhere above him, he heard someone screaming his name.

As he lost consciousness, he only had one thought.

I just got her back.

[gamerkitten]

Thinking about my preference for Cassia's version of Garrus's loyalty mission aka Gabby wants to have her cake and eat it too.

Like, I just think it would be cooler if she doesn't move aside immediately and hears Sidonis out. And the entire time they're talking she is so calm, cold even, but she is absolutely livid.

"They would have killed me-"

"Then you should have died."

Then she steps aside and Garrus takes the shot.

I totally should have done this in-game, but at least I can fix it with fic.

[gamerkitten]

Thinking about Garrus's kill list again and honestly, it's starting to make me sad. Not because he killed criminals, fuck 'em; but the way his methods just get more and more fucked up.

How much of that was "cleaning up Omega" and "protecting the innocent" and how much was him just unleashing his rage and greif at losing Shepard on acceptable targets?

Cassia can be an absolutely vicious cunt when it comes to dealing with awful people, but she's never sadistic. I could see her being sad and a little disappointed reading that dossier.

Sure, she still agrees to help him kill Sidonis, but that's quick and clean. If Garrus wanted to torture him to death she wouldn't have been on board.

[gamerkitten]

Listening to "Like Real People Do" and having intense Shakarian feels.

I am so normal about them guys.

[gamerkitten]

"That's Commander Shepard to you."

His mandibles twitched in the equivalent of a smirk, "Not anymore, I think. This ship, and you, belong to me. The Hierarchy won't really care what I do with you, so long as you're no longer a problem. "

Fuck.

"I don't belong to anyone." She growled, pulling against her restraints.

He caught her jaw in his hand, the tips of his talons lightly pressing into her cheek as he leaned down to meet her gaze.

"You do now," he replied mockingly, " I'll even get you a nice collar to wear so you don't forget; property of Garrus Vakarian."

[gamerkitten]

Doing the Leviathan DLC before "officially " locking in the romance with Garrus has robbed me of certain dialogue, but going to the Citadel immediately after and locking it in just feels...right.

Like Cassia hops into the ocean for over an hour to talk to alien Cathulu, almost gets killed by a Brute fight and is just barely conscious. I bet that scared the shit out of him.

So he decides to make it official.

(Also, it would have been really cool to get special dialogue during that scene if you did quests in this order but oh well.)

[gamerkitten]

Thinking about Garrus and Cassia and how they loved each other so much.

Like, they were so in love it made them look stupid, but they didn't care.

The sickeningly sweet pda, the way any enemy that made it too close would find themselves on the business end of a biotic slam(despite her being an infiltrator)or concussive shot(explosive, of course.)

The way he was the only one who could ever get her to dance.

The way she was ready to go the moment he tracked down Sidonis because he had hurt Garrus and she couldn't let that stand.

The way a gentle hand on his mandible or arm around her waist could make them forget they were fighting a war.

"It would be an awfully empty Universe without you." And " You'll never be alone."

The unfairness of their parting and the way he was still ready to follow her into hell despite having been literally set on fire.

The way he finally says " I love you too."

Out loud for the first and last time.

They really didn't have enough time.

[gamerkitten]

What Form of Love Do You Embody

QUIZ

love as being known

[ love is knowing all of someone and loving them anyway ] when tim kreider said "if we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known" and when joe wright said "The idea that these two people know each other, knew each other when they first saw each other. That they recognized each other from their future" and when micah nemerever said "it was a relief and a horror to be known so perfectly"

[gamerkitten]

9 Ship Songs pt 2

Pt1

Meet Me At The Bar

Angel With a Shotgun:The Cab

//I'm an angel with a shotgun

Fighting til' the wars won,I don't care if heaven won't take me back. I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe,don't you know you're everything I have?//

Levitating:Dua Lipa

//You want me? I want you,baby.

My sugarboo, I'm levitating

The Milky Way, we're renegading

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah//

Fuck Up The Freindship:Leah Kate

//On the edge of my seat;I'll wait for the outcome,If we ever have one.Let me take the lead,you follow me closely,But come on and show me.//

Like Real People Do:Hozier

//I knew that look dear;Eyes always seeking,was there in someone that dug long ago.

So I will not ask youw hy you were creeping; In some sad way I already know.//

House on Fire:Rise Against

For some post-game angst

//I thought that we would build this together,but everything I touch just seems to break.

Am I your sail or your anchor?

Am I the calm or the hurricane?//

Kiss Me You Animal:Burn The Ballroom

//Kiss me you animal,I need to take you in real slow,Cause dying on your lips is how I wanna go.

Connect with the sound you're making,Connect with my body, whoa.

Kiss me you animal and don't ever let me go.//

Ribs:Lorde

//You're the only friend I need,sharing beds like little kids, and laughing 'til our ribs get tough.

But that will never be enough.//

Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby:Cigarettes After Sex

//Nothing's gonna hurt you baby, as long as you're with me you'll be just fine. Nothing's gonna hurt you baby, nothing's gonna take you from my side.//

Just Give Me A Reason: Pink,Nate Ruess

More post game angst!

//I never stopped, you're still written in the scars on my heart. You're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again.//

[gamerkitten]

Finished ME3 and now I'm just so fucking sad.

I'm happy that I managed to shove Garrus back onto the Normandy and save him, but I'm sad because Cassia promised to come back to him and then she died. She tried so hard to come back to him and she failed and now he's alone again.

My headcanon is that she wrote up a will before hitting the Illusive Man's base and left her apartment to him along with all her stuff since she doesn't have any blood family. But who knows if he'd ever actually step foot in it whenever he and the rest of the crew get back to Citidel Space from wherever the hell they crashed at.

Idk guys, I'm just so emotional over these two and the Citidel DLC may have made it worse somehow. Like, you see how loved Shepard is in that DLC and how much she loves her friends. She gave everything to this war and it isn't fucking fair.

[gamerkitten]

"Kaidan really pissed you off, " she said, her tone turning mischievous, "you were making these growling noises, I thought you were going to kill him."

So did I, he thought.

"I would never kill someone important to you," he replied,then with a twitch of his mandibles,"maiming however is always on the table."

He released her to grab his own beer, taking a sip before noticing her watching him, her expression unreadable.

"What?"

"How did you know," she asked,"that I was me?"

[gamerkitten]

WIP Wednesday ft. a excerpt from the 1st contact roleplay smutfic I'm working on(and struggling with).

Cassia tensed as the door to her quarters slid open with a mechanical hiss, but did her best to keep her face a mask of indifference. Her captors had left her tied to a chair, stripped down to her undersuit, while they secured the rest of the ship. 

Her ship.

"So, you're the human who's been giving the Hierarchy so much trouble."

His tone was casual, almost lazy, as he drew closer to her. She raised her eyes, glaring at the Turian standing in front of her. He was in full armor, of course, a rifle strapped to his back, looking down at her through his visor.

She refused to reply, continuing to fix him with a stare that had cowed many a man throughout her career. However, he seemed unaffected,even amused as he circled her.

"I'm impressed," he drawled, "most of your species seem incapable of subtlety, but you've been hitting our supply lines and vanishing before we could respond."

"What can I say," she said with a smirk, "I have a great ship and a better crew."

He chuckled, " I'll give you that. But, you're obviously not as good as you think you are."

"We all have our off days," she said, " so, what are you planning on doing with me? Gonna drag me before your Primarch? Have me publicly executed?"

She tried not to flinch as he brushed a wayward curl out of her eyes, winding the lock around a talon before tucking it behind her ear.

"You overestimate your importance, Shepard."

"That's Commander Shepard to you." 

His mandibles twitched in the equivalent of a smirk, "Not anymore, I think. This ship, and you, belong to me. The Hierarchy won't really care what I do with you, so long as you're no longer a problem. "

Fuck.

"I don't belong to anyone." She growled, pulling against her restraints.

He caught her jaw in his hand, the tips of his talons lightly pressing into her cheek as he leaned down to meet her gaze.

"You do now," he replied mockingly, " I'll even get you a nice collar to wear so you don't forget; property of Garrus Vakarian."

To her credit, her gaze didn't waver, despite her heart hammering against her ribcage. 

"And what could you possibly want with me?"

He released her and circled behind, out of her sightline. She heard the clang of pieces of armor hitting the ground, her pulse spiking with the removal of each piece.

She shuddered as he leaned in, tongue tracing the shape of her ear.

"I have a few ideas."

Then she heard the gentle click of her handcuffs being released.

[gamerkitten]

Imagining a scene between Cassia and Garrus, right before they hit the Cerberus base, where they're in bed and he's dozing but notices her tossing around. So he of course knows something is wrong and asks her about it.

And she just unloads about the fact that, despite dying for the cause being the noble thing to do, she doesn't want to. She wants to live and she feels guilty about it. For wanting to survive, for being so damn angry about the expectation of sacrifice, for being selfish.

Cue Garrus going into comfort mode, nuzzling her hair and holding her until they eventually fall asleep.

Man, that would be cool.

[gamerkitten]

Headcanon that Cassia and Garrus are nearly evenly matched in their skill as snipers, but Garrus is better. Cassia can lack patience, which is why she prefers rapid fire rifles; while Garrus is meticulous and knows how to wait for just the right moment before pulling the trigger.

[gamerkitten]

More Cass and Garrus thoughts

Garrus is so protective of Cassia, even before they became a couple; and aside from her being his best friend and his growing romantic feelings, it's very much because the last time he wasn't there to protect her she died.

It's not logical, not even a little bit, but he spent so much time after her death beating himself up for staying on the Citadel while she went Geth hunting. If he could have been there, he would have dragged her to an escape pod and gone after Joker himself. But he wasn't there, and she died.

Now that she's back, he's intent on making sure he never loses her again; sometimes to the point of being a bit overbearing at first, but they eventually unpack it together and he calms down.

It still comes out every now and again when he's particularly stressed,like when a clone tries to steal his girlfriend's life and lock her in a vault, or just...the entire Reaper war.

After the war, he still has his quirks(Cass had to talk him out of a ceiling turret in their living room) but is significantly better.

[gamerkitten]

Ok, more Shakarian and then I'll shut up forever (for the night).

The way he is there for Cassia is just amazing. Like, he's worrying constantly about a multitude of things. One thing gets resolved and then he's fretting over something else. But the moment he gets a whiff of sadness or uncertainty from her he is ON IT. Going out of his way to make her laugh, gentle touches, just generally doing his best to make sure she's ok.

God I love him.