#otp: you jump i jump jack
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I make all your grey days clear and Wear you like a necklace I'm so chill but you make me jealous But I got your heart Skipping, skip-skipping when I'm gone
requested by @emmafallsinlove
#gilmore girls#gilmoregirlsedit#rory x logan#rogan#roganedit#logan huntzberger#rory gilmore#otp: you jump i jump jack#taylor swift#so it goes#my gifs
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― Kiera Cass, The One
#gilmore girls#ggedit#gilmoregirlsedit#rory gilmore#rory x logan#rogan#roganedit#*my edits#tusermanon#tuserella#userkimb#userzil#tuseror#hauntedbythelook#tuserannabelle#tuserleah#sophies#sophiesedit#otp: you jump i jump jack#did i make an edit with a quote from a book i have never read? yes. yes i did.#also or bestie thnx for this sjsj
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Rory and Logan icons
-feel free to use them
-do not claim as your own
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@another-step-you-take @gotlostinwonderlands
rory & logan playlist: dress by taylor swift [requested by anon]
there is an indentation in the shape of you / made your mark on me, a golden tattoo
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Jack & Rose
Titanic (1997)
🖤🖤🖤
#jack dawson#Leonardo DiCaprio#rose dewitt bukater#Kate Winslet#jack x rose#otp: you jump i jump#titanic#{ship post}#edits
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listening ears on- z.guanyu
Day 16 of fic-tober! fic-tober masterlist
summary: How come when you try to set Zhou up, it ends badly?
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zhouguanyu
liked by oscarpiastri, vallterri bottas, pierregasly and 568,920 others
zhouguanyu: thank you melbourne, yet another fucking p18 👍 (was nice to see the piastri family though, and to see osco up on that podium :)
comments
landonorris: jesus dude don't jump
oscarpiastri: i love u zhou :)
nicolepiastri: ❤️❤️❤️
nicohulkenburg: better than me, p19 :(
user45: we need a psych ward.
user33: AUDI DOMINANCE NEXT YEAR TRUST ME (i'm delusional)
user82: ZHOU NO I LOVE YOU
y/nbottASS: no you're too sexy haha plz don't die ->user22: HUH? ->user32: ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
user29: we're so cooked -> y/nbottASS: HAVE SOME FAITH IN MY BOYS -> lewishamilton: ??? I was p2??? -> y/nbottASS: GOD, NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT U GIRL (YAY LEWIS P2 congrats)
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y/nbottASS
liked by jackdoohan, arthurleclerc, pierregasly and 987,263 others
y/nbottASS YOUR HONOUR THEY WERE BEING SILLY
comments
user46: NURSE SHE'S OUT AGAIN
arthurleclerc: I open this app and sigh
user77: shitting myself why does arthur look so confused
oscarpiastri: princess jack making an appearance i see. -> y/nbottASS: fuck off you got a home win and i cried. that's what you fucking get. -> landonorris: i don't think you needed to clock him so hard? -> y/nbottASS: go fuck yourself. you and your boyfriend can cry together -> oscarpiastri: oh! we're being so normal I see! 😁
user66: 'my honest erection'? -> y/nbottASS: correct.
user88: every time she posts I just know the drivers shiver in fear liked by valtterribottas, pierregasly, yukistunonda, lancestroll, alexalbon, olliebearman, liamlawson, kimiantonelli, jackdoohan, georgerussell, lewishamilton, charlesleclerc, maxverstappen, danielriccardo, checoperez, nicohulkenberg, arthurleclerc, fernandoalonso, carlosainz, estebanocon, oscarpiastri, landonorris ->user56: NOT ALL THE DRIVERS IN THE LIKES -> user99: NUH UH, ZHOU ISNT!!!!!!!! -> user45: zhouy/n truthers rise.
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y/nbottASS
liked by pierregasly, zhouguanyu, landonorris and 1,383,938 others
y/nbottASS: MY GOAT ZHOU IN THE POINTS?????? HOME RACE KING!!! (also jack and @/friend1 are sickeningly in love)
comments
jackdoohan: thanks for being our matchmaker :) -> y/nbottASS: don't mention it jackie boy (I'll kill you if you hurt her)
zhouguanyu: THANKS Y/N
oscarpiastri: MY GOAT GUANYU
alexalbon: SUCH A GOAT
lewishamilton: MY GOAT
jackdoohan: pookie in points 🥺
landonorris: ICON I LOVE HIM HE'S SUCH A LITTLE DUDE
valtteribottas: missing me much? @/zhouguanyu -> zhouguanyu: so much...😿
user44: JACK AND WHO? -> user55: that's one of y/n's friends! she's a model and y/n set them up! -> y/nbottASS: they're so cute aren't they!!!!
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arthurleclerc
liked by y/nbottASS, pierregasly, charlesleclerc and others
arthurleclerc: happy 6 months to my beautiful girl. @/sabrinacarpenter
comments
user54: 'thank you y/n' we all say in unison.
user77: THEY'RE ADORABLE YOUR HONOUR
user88: SINCE FUCKING WHEN??? -> user27: y/n introduced them. -> user88: OHHHHHH i get it now
y/nbottASS: my otp
sabrinacarpenter: omg we're so hot -> arthurleclerc: facts
user29: who has y/n set up? like everyone on the grid right? -> user99: y/n has set up most of the couple son the grid including : akex and lily, sabrina and arthur (ik he's not on the grid but yk), jakc and @/friend1, charles and alexandria, fernando and melissa, george and carmen, kika and pierre, lando luisinha (when they were together), max and pietra (ik they're not on the grid either, anyway), valtteri and tiffany, and somehow looks like she does and is single?????? -> user66: she's been BUSY
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y/nbottASS
liked by zhouguanyu, pierregasly, yukistunoda and 876,926 others
y/nbottASS over and out silverstone! (i've been so busy matchmaking that i haven't posted myself!)
comments
user87: OMG she is everything
user63: she's so GORGEOUS
zhouguanyu: karting was such a mess 😹 -> landonorris: you two went karting without me? wtf. -> y/nbottASS: yes? mf you're not invited. -> landonorris: oh. -> y/nbottASS: mf you cheat. -> oscarpiastri: FINALLY SOMEONE AGREES.
pierregasly: looking close... ->user23: SPILL RIGHT NOW -> user45: PIERRE KNOWS SOMETHING WE DONT?
lewishamilton: working hard or hardly working? -> y/nbottASS: secret third option: inside your walls! -> roscoelovescoco: oh...!
user88: they're so adorable.
user77: why am I becoming a zhouy/n shipper...? -> user32: bc they're so CUTE together.
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zhouguanyu
liked by pierregasly, charles leclerc, carmenmundt and 3,897,474 others
zhouguanyu happy y/n day! I LOVE YOU
comments
y/nbottASS: HARD. LAUNCH.
limited comment section.
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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)
fic-tober masterlist
taglist: @anotherapollokid @theseerbetweenus @simbaaas-stuff @5sospenguinqueen @yootvi
#zhou guanyu#zhou guanyu x reader#zhou guanyu x you#zhou guanyu x y/n#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#formula one x reader#formula one#formula 1#f1 fluff#formula one imagine#formula 1 x you
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Actually curious as to what people’s general opinion of Ozbert is in this year of 2023. Does shipping them equate to getting hashtag cancelled? Are they still The OTP of the series?? Or are they strictly Platonic Besties For Life. I do not know
It’s weird tho bc obviously if you’ve read the manga you KNOW their situation is very Complicated™️. When they were both the same age it was fine but then Oz got yeeted into the Abyss and time jumped 10 years forward while he was in there for like 3 days and suddenly Gil’s like. 9 years older than him. But then Uncle Oscar still classifies Oz as being 25 even tho he’s physically 15. And then we find out that Oz’s body isn’t even HIS it belongs to Jack so that’s messed up. AND we find out Gil’s actually not just 24 he’s OVER 100 years old bc Baskerville shit. And THEN we find out Oz is actually the true B Rabbit so that makes it so he’s probably even older than Gil is. When we get to the end of the series they’re both canonically confirmed to be hundred(s) of years old so I’m sitting here like. Well,
ALSO looking at these manga panels and official artworks and stuff from the anime I’m like
Well, there’s definitely SOMETHING going on there, that’s for sure,
#And don’t even get me STARTED on the omakes. Holy shit#Shima speaks#Anyway either way they are a wonderful duo.#Gil’s always been SO ride or die for Oz and I respect that#I just see them together and I’m like 🥰 There they are. My boys#Pandora Hearts spoilers#Pandora Hearts#Ozbert#Oz Vessalius#Gilbert Nightray#They’re not straight. I know THAT for a fact. LOL#And see there’s the appealing thing. The absolute ANGST involved#Gil who grew up harboring feelings for Oz but knowing it was wrong and that he could never ever act upon them#And by the time he’s an adult he still has some sort of feelings for Oz. It’s very complex#And then out pops Oz from the Abyss!! And he doesn’t look ANY different from the last time Gil saw him#Meanwhile Oz who was still figuring things out but who was almost sure he liked Gil That Way#And then it hits HARD when he’s in the Abyss not even knowing if Gil is alive#And when he finds out Gil’s all grown up.#I mean YEAH I’d develop a massive crush too are you KIDDING#It’d be frustrating tho bc Oz is still technically a teenager.#But then he figures out oh hey I’m actually? A being that’s existed for a LONG long time. And one that isn’t even human#So I can totally see him whole heartedly chasing after Gil once he realizes that#Anyway. Rant over sorry LOL#Either way. Again. They’re so so close in canon there is SOMETHING going on between them#(Not to mention the fact the anime really loved that and tried hinting at it super obviously)
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Timothy breakdown pwease 🙏
HI KRO HI HI I JUMP OFC ONE TIMOTHY BUD FOR U
How I feel about this character
BRO. One of my favs. The fact he was the first character I played as for Borderlands games was a great choice.
I adore this guy. He's funny, anxious, a bit of an asshole. He had to learn to play Jack but he absolutely sucks at it but I think it works since nobody knows jack well, only his image. LIKE it's hilarious we play as doppelganger and everybody knows in the game we are one instead of him. Like BRO you LITERALLY HAVE ONE SINGLE JOB AND U SUCK AT IT! and then you learn he's great with guns. And you learn that doppelganger is just there to kill. Esp since in bl2 the doppelganger there also sucked ass (I loved the guy a lot. I wish we could have met one more for comparisment).
It's interesting how he sucks so bad at his job and not only that, he presents himself. He's not into doing additional work. He gets grumpy and childish sometimes with wanting to back off or run. But in the end, he continues and keeps on going.
And God. The one soldier that asks you for mercy and you can keep him alive.
'I'm not you, Jack.'
Then, in the bl3 dlc, he had to kill doppelganger and hides away to survive. And somehow?? Still made friends???? That he abandoned cus he felt ashamed prob and just. God. I love this guy a lot. Top 3 for me Fr Fr
All the people I ship romantically with this character
(ATP i should prob change the romantic thing jshshshs)
Moxxi and Timothy are similar to how I see Sasha and Rhys. Not something that would work out but, they can grow with one another.
I also think him and Rhys could be an interesting thing. They both are asshole with some softness inside and mutual trauma. They bit lost a lot due to Jack.
My non-romantic OTP for this character
Give me some of that Loader Bot Timothy action. They would understand each other. I also think his relationship with Jack is very nuanced. Jack is his boss but Timothy from the first moment he gets to finally meet him talks back. He states his opinions clearly. And Jack respects the man's work enough not to jump to kill him. There is a lot to explore about how they influenced each other.
My unpopular opinion about this character
THIS MAN IS SEEN OFTEN AS LITTLE SOFT MEOW MEOW. And like he can be but PLEASE please guys. Play pre-sequel. Idk if the mischsracterisation is still a big issue and hope not but dear lort.
This man like most characters in the series IS AN ASSHOLE. He talks back, he kills for a living, and he can get nervous around folks but he also lies, just does his job and gets around. And I love him for it! You go girl <3 and as I asked you for the comparison - while he hides himself away and holds a lot of anger for misjust he had to suffer he still can get so shy around Moxxi. It doesn't make him weak, it doesn't make him a soft character. It's a part of him and i love it. The fact this man cuts his hand off to save the place too. He's used to making sacrifices. One way or another.
AND SECONDLY. I discussed it with @kitkat578 and I took their headcanon that Timothy, in fact wasn't marked under the mask, since you can't see the mark in the crack. I feel he was only told that happened, to resent Lilith. And that headcanon changed something in me.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.
Meet. With. Rhys. Please.
And don't change to Jack. Stay your own. Be free
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The sexuality/gender/otp headcanon ask game stuff for any oc of your choice? Bonus points if it's someone you haven't talked about in a while
thank you!!
i haven't talked about noh outside of the very very basics of his story and what's going on so let's talk about my favorite boyo.
here is he (cuz i found this picrew and i thought it was cute) -- the only thing that's off about it is that noh usually wears a mask over his face; he's completely mute and only uses sign language so in a way he views his mouth as "useless" so he doesn't like it being seen lol.
Sexuality: gay gay homosexual gay
Gender: noh is trans masc!
A ship I have with said character: so the main ship that i have with him is a space pirate named emerion jackson. technically speaking the two of them have known of each other since before noh had amnesia; noh and his team were actively trying to bring emerion in and though they never met in person the two of them were definitely :eye emojis: at each other because it was "oh, finally a challenge" type scenario. but then when noh disappeared off the face of the earth and started being plastered everywhere as a criminal, emerion got a little.... worried about him. it seems crazy and its not something that he would talk about to any of his crew because they would heckle him for it, but the fact that someone as formidable and determined as the mysterious (bc they'd never met face to face) noh bell; and how he's suddenly a criminal by the govt??? something is up.
the two of them end up meeting in person at a bar at the edge of a particular star system after noh is dropped off by the cargo crew that found him adrift in space. emerion recognizes noh immediately but doesn't say anything until someone else recognizes noh and a bar fight ensues bc they want to bring noh in for the money. emerion and his men jump in and end up helping him out and then he drags noh onto his ship.
at first, emerion isn't sure what to make of actually seeing noh face to face. coupled with the fact that noh doesn't remember that he was originally hunting him and his crew down its odd. but then he learns about the amnesia etc etc and emerion kind of feels guilt for not telling him everything up front. but part of him also likes the fact that noh doesn't remember anything and they end up beginning to form an actual bond and attachment to one another, which gets a BIT complicated as noh starts to learn his identity.
idk now that i'm writing all of this out fully i'm so in the mood to talk more about them; emerion is such a jackass and has a stick up it but at the same time he really cares about noh and hes SO INTIMATELY aware of HOW FUCKED he is lmaooo its kind of hilarious.
A BROTP I have with said character: noh has a really good circle of friends because they all grew up training together in the JACK and JILL program. the closest friend he has is amelia (who was his JACK so they know each other like the back of their own hands) but i think the cutest brotp/friendship he has is with neso.
neso is a very special JACK/JILL unit because she's a system with just one other alter and so she doesn't have a separate physical "body" that serves as her partner; its technically just within herself. the two of them are fully aware of each other and can switch back and forth though its not fully at will. she is the host and neon is her alter (and is essentially her older brother). neso can call neon to the front and he will show up occasionally but its not often because he doesn't really like people lol (though he is okay with the rest of their friend group). usually he shows up in dangerous situations because he's the JILL of their unit and in this universe they were able to engineer technology to change neso's eye color back and forth when she and neon switch fronting.
neso and noh are really alike and she can be somewhat childlike and cling to him. they use sign language with each other the most--especially in episodes where she's having a ptsd flashback or episode, he can help talk her down and taught her signs since she was young. they also tend to be the most quiet of their friend group and prefer to just vibe while the others (amelia, iodine, and ethan) are more personable and loud lol.
A NOTP I have with said character: this isn't a notp so much as like, its not canon anymore BUT it did used to be canon back in the day when i felt like i had to overcompensate with heterosexuality in all of my wips (i've had noh as an oc and this story for at least a decade so yknow). but before, noh and amelia were actually supposed to be the endgame couple, but at the end of the day i think they just work better together as best friends/found family. they know each other so well; to the point that its less like being with someone you're attracted to and more like being with the other half of their own brain so like... how am i gonna be attracted to myself energy. plus, amelia ends up with an engineer named claude and they're so sweet together i want to throw up <3
A random headcanon: noh is heavily inspired by my personal interpretation of link which is where his muteness stemmed from :)
General Opinion over said character: i love noh A LOT and i need to get over my fear of writing scifi because i've been wanting to tell his story for years. i project onto him a lil bit sure but he's such a fun character and i wanna figure out more about his storyline so i can be driven insane by it
since ive been talking about it so much, perhaps i might lol.
feel free to send me a character (mine or overwatch) and i'll do this for them :D
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For the fanfic emoji ask: 💖, 💪, 🥘, and 🐸, please! :D
Hi hi!! Thank you for these.
���� Which of your fics is your pride and joy?
Hmm... At the moment probably the Lessons series because it's one of the most complicated things I've taken on in a while. The first few stories are mostly just silly sexy smut, but as the series goes on it's going to shift and get a bit deeper than 'how hard was it to convince Nikola to jump into bed with John and James?'
💪What motivates you to write?
Spite, mostly.
Which is not actually a joke. I am exhaustingly stubborn and last year (after The Breakdown to End All Breakdowns after being metaphorically kicked in the teeth too many times) I had this moment where I realised that I was letting something I don't really care about (work) consume me entirely and that I hadn't done the things I liked to do in almost a decade as a result. So I made a point of reclaiming my time and my life, and part of that is writing every day even if what I produce is utter garbage. I track it and have a little graph to show my progress to keep me motivated too!
🥘What wip are you most excited about?
Ugh. All of them? I mean, Lessons for sure because I'm really pleased with how the Jack the Ripper part of the story is going to play out (I don't think it's what people will be expecting).
Weighted blanket smut for the lols.
And my attempt at a modern AU that is slowly but surely forming. I think it'll be fun, though I'm still not confident of my ability to write it well! It might never see the light of day, but I'm at least excited by the idea of it.
🐸 If you incorporated your OTP into a Disney movie plot, which would it be?
*sigh*
This is where I have to admit I'm not a Disney person. I've seen some of them, but I didn't grow up on them and I've never really gotten into them since. Like, I know the plot of Lion King only because it's Hamlet?
I think you could do a Beauty and the Beast thing though, but maybe flip it. Helen is the evil beast in the castle who is cursed (with longevity which gets really damn annoying after 1000 years or so - she just wants to be able to live out her life in peace) and Nikola is the innocent little flower who ends up breaking said curse because he can see past the bluster of her?
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Matches burn after the other Pages turn and stick to each other Wages earned and lessons learned But I, I'm right where you left me
#gilmore girls#gilmoregirlsedit#rory gilmore#rory x logan#rogan#roganedit#logan huntzberger#otp: you jump i jump jack#my gifs#how it was supposed to be 😖
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GILMORE GIRLS 5.17 | Pulp Friction
#gilmore girls#ggedit#gilmoregirlsedit#rory gilmore#logan huntzberger#rory x logan#logan x rory#rogan#roganedit#sophies#sophiesedit#my gifs#my edits#tuserella#hauntedbythelook#otp: you jump i jump jack
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for the ask game jack kelly
I'm so in love with him you don't even know
how I feel about this character- insane about him. I've been a member of the jack kelly fanclub since 8th grade and I'm not going back in the foreseeable future. absolutely crazy about the whole santa fe as a metaphor for escaping new york, the chains of poverty, etc, because he doesn't ACTUALLY want to leave his family but he feels like he can never be free unless he leaves the city that broke his parents and is currently breaking him
all the people I ship romantically with this character- I'm not really crazy about him and sarah, I think they're cute but they're not really my thing. however. I am a davey x jack x katherine truther FOREVER because jack can hold two people's hands at once and I feel like they balance each other out perfectly. they're like the challengers crew but not manipulative and toxic
my non-romantic otp for this character- him and crutchie/crutchy. besties for life. they contrast each other really well and I especially love how much they look out for each other in 92sies
my unpopular opinion about this character- not strictly about him but I hate how much hate him x katherine gets. I hate when katherine gets ignored in favor of davey like they're both main characters hello? ship what you want, idc, but it's just something I personally don't like. also I don't really mind the fact that he's not a wannabe cowboy in the stage version. it would've been fun but it's just an alternate take and I don't really care that it got changed. adaptations will ALWAYS change something, it's inevitable
one thing I wish would happen to him in canon- I wish in 92sies he would've actually boarded the train and then davey les and sarah run after it all dramatically and at the last second he jumps off and hugs them. it would've been cliche and corny and I would've cried
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Jack & Rose | Sun & Moon
🖤🖤
#jack dawson#Leonardo DiCaprio#rose dewitt bukater#Kate Winslet#jack x rose#otp: you jump i jump#titanic#{ship edit}
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My predictions, because I have some batshit crazy ideas:
Beneath a cut, because. Well. You know how much I ramble.
Zero Hour
Yuta vs. Hook - Hook wins, but Yuta beats the shit out of him at the end of it. Danhausen comes out to make the save, but Yuta beats him up. And then Danhausen challenges for the Pure Rules title.
Willow vs. Kris - ONLY IN WRESTLING CAN AN OTP FIGHT EACH OTHER. Stokeley is gonna corrupt Kris against Willow, but not until the women's tag belts are announced will he make his final move. Stokeley, secretly working in the background for the Renegade Twins, will unleash his final blow right before the finals of the women's tag titles tournament, causing Staturday Nightingale to lose, and triggering a full on battle between the two of them, likely culminating in match for the women's world title (RoH, probably.)
20 Man Battle Royal - Okay. I got 3 ideas: Sara's dream book, the best story, and what likely will happen.
Sara's Dream Book: Bucks and Hanger come back. Bucks sabotage everybody else to get Hanger to almost win, then Hanger steps back and lets someone else win but leisurely jumping over the top rope when it's him vs. the other person. "I'm above this championship," he says, taking the mic during the other person's celebration. Offical Superdick Party debut, official heel turn, official idiots.
The Best Story: Only 19 people are in or around the ring. Toward the end, a guy in a hoodie, with his face slightly obscured, shows up. It's Jack Perry. He wins, and cashes in the "any time" clause during the Christian vs. Copeland match.
What Likely Will Happen: Midcardapalooza. A very fun, non champion level person like Komander, AR Fox, Kip Sabian, or Andretti win to create a fun flippy match with the winner of Copeland vs. Christian that they will ultimately lose.
Main Card
Eight Man tag (Jericho/Sammy/Darby/Sting vs. Ricky/Bill/Takeshita/Hobbes) - I really. Look. Lot's of stuff about this match is convoluted. It's mean to take the place of the tag belts, which I understand, but they should have bitten the bullet, dropped the Jericho/Golden Jets story completely, and provided a title chance to an actual tag team.
Eight man tag (Bryan/Claudio/Mark/Danny vs. Lethal/White/Rush/Brody) - I think the BCC and friends win, but I think this may lead to Danny being inducted into the BCC. Otherwise this match is kind of weird. However, it means that everyone in the C2 got a match on the pay-per-view, and I like that.
Andrade vs. Miro - Look I KNOW it's all about Miro's redemption or whatever, but he's pissing me off lately and I want Andrade to win to show that CJ's management is effective. But I also think it could be cool for Andrade to lose, to show that a lack of CJ's management causes him weakness. It could develop a more introspective story of talent vs influence that could be approached by both Miro and Andrade in different directions. But it's wrestling, so I doubt the nuance necessary for the storyline would be possible.
Swerve vs. Dustin - Yeah sorry Dustin. Swerve is gonna KILL you. Super sad to hear about Keith's injury. This match was going to absolutely BANG and him being unable to finish this storyline is a heartache.
Julia vs. Abadon - SPOOKY SHENANIGANS! I hope Skye gets out there and she and Julia do some MK Ultra tag level nonsense. Give me shenanigans. Give me lesbians. I love it.
Copeland vs. Christian - You already saw my idea for Perry, but here I think Copeland wins by pulling unexpected allies out of his back pocket.
Eddie vs. Mox - EDDIE BETTER FUCKING WIN THIS. He deserves to be a three belt holder, to hold up RoH, to continue his work. Mox may be my first AEW love, but Eddie. Eddie deserves it.
Toni vs. Riho - Mariah May shenanigans result in a Toni win, but perhaps Riho has an original in the wings waiting to save her. Crossing my fingers for a Jamie return PLEASE.
MJF vs. Samoa Joe - Joe wins. MJF is injured, shit goes down, the Devil and his goons interfere, and Joe is our new World Champion. We also, we gotta, reveal the Devil.
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too much to ask
Summary: Derek shows up on Hotch's doorstep needing to talk on a night when they're both needing a little extra comfort. (Coda to 3x05 - Seven Seconds)
Pairing: Hotch/Morgan
Words: 6k
Warnings: discussion of child abuse past and present (the case & Derek's, and Hotch's), divorce, depression
Notes: For @yearoftheotpevent Year of the OTP event, this is my January entry using the prompt "first kiss". These two are a shit show, and this first kiss is anything but ideal, but it's a good jumping off point.
**
Tonight, Haley asked him if he'd started searching for an apartment yet. She didn't even wait. He walked in the door, and as she followed him down the hallway to the room Jack was staying in, right on his heels. “Have you even tried?”
If Jack hadn't been sleeping, if Jessica hadn't been right there, it would have started an argument. As it was, his blood boiled and he just said not yet through clenched teeth before entering Jack's darkened room and watching him sleep for what felt like ages. It was all he could think to do, just stare at his son and wonder where it all goes wrong.
“I had hoped we could take some time to cool off and reconsider our options,” he said, re-entering the hallway after all the time in the world had passed inside of that room only to find that no time at all had passed for her. She laughed a little too loud before clapping her hand over her mouth. Jessica slapped her arm for that one.
“Play nice,” she hissed. Hotch could tell how much she hated being in the middle of this. “I don't care how mad you are, we are all adults who love one another, no matter what else is happening. Act like it.”
“Aaron, I have given you more than enough time to reconsider your choices and nothing has changed, so why should my mind have changed? I'm not the one who walked out on my family for a job.”
“It was that job that provided for our family...” he reminded her with a little more vitriol than he'd intended. Oh well, he was in it now. The guilt would eat him alive in minutes.
"Yeah. But I asked you to stay, and Derek asked you to go...you made your choice. I'm finished trying to compete."
“Enough. Both of you.” Jessica was furiously pushing them down the hallway, toward the front room...away from Jack's door. She knew it was about to get ugly. She'd heard about the phone call, about what Haley was doing too. There was only one innocent party in this mess and he was sleeping soundly in the other room. “You're both being assholes now knock it off.”
“I'm sorry,” he said quietly. “I should leave.”
Jess almost felt bad for him. She knew that Haley was completely finished, and she hated to see the way he held on to some flicker of hope when he really just needed to let it go. “Aaron?” Jess asked, touching his shoulder. “Would you join me in the kitchen for a moment before you leave?”
Haley narrowed her eyes at her sister but said nothing. She knew her sister was playing both sides here, it was no secret that they'd always been close and that this separation was almost as hard for her as it was for them. Hotch followed her to the kitchen where she put on a tea kettle silently, her back to him, taking a full minute before she turned and looked at him. Gathering her thoughts. Trying to put out the fire before it consumed them all.
“What are you doing?”
He stared. “I'm trying to get my family back,” he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. She shook her head, her arms folding over her chest.
“I mean no disrespect here, and I say this with all of the love I can muster...you can't get her back. She's gone. But Jack isn't...so just take a deep breath, admit your family is different now, and find a damn apartment so they can get the hell out of my house. Aaron, I want my house back.”
He couldn't think of a damn thing to say that wouldn't expose him for the fraud he was, standing there stoic and emotionless in her kitchen. Opening his mouth would destroy his defenses. He hadn't admitted to himself yet that Haley was gone, that this separation train was headed full speed ahead for divorce. It wasn't like he had anything he could hide from Jessica anyway. She knew.
“She's already met with a lawyer, Aaron,” Jessica said a little quieter, almost as if she was reading his mind. “The wheels are in motion. It's only a matter of time.”
His eyes welled with tears, and yet he remained silent while the kettle hissed and bubbled and finally screamed. She took it off the heat quickly, just shoved it to the side and busied herself with three mugs, three tea bags. As if he was going to stay.
“I should go,” he whispered, staring wide-eyed at nothing. “It's late.” He didn't see her turn around, didn't notice her walking toward him, not until her arms were around him and her head was against his chest.
“Call me tomorrow,” she said, holding back her own tears. “I'll help you find a nice place okay? I know a guy who gets all the good listings first. He got me this place when I moved back, it wasn't even on the market yet.”
He nodded, half listening, but he had no intention of calling her. Not really. He just had to get out of there. Fast.
So fast he walked right by Haley without saying a word to her on his way out.
- - - -
“How long have you been here?” Hotch asked, approaching his darkened porch slowly. He'd recognized the shadowy figure on his steps as Derek before he even put his car into park. He stopped short of the steps and peered at the six pack of beer sitting beside his friend, smiling at the coincidence. He was holding his own six pack of the exact same beer in his right hand.
The only difference was that Derek's was already missing a few.
“Long enough,” was Derek's somber reply in a rough, ragged drawl. “I'm surprised your neighbors haven't called the cops. I'm loitering.”
“Most of them know you by now. They watch things pretty closely. I am surprised Mrs. Sandoval didn't bring you out a blanket and some tea though.”
“She isn't home. She and her husband left in some pretty fancy clothes just as I was getting here...late night oldies dance, I guess. They looked pretty slick.”
“At least someone is having a nice night,” Hotch deadpanned.
His eyes met the darkness in his front window; he hadn't left any lights on. The last thing he wanted to do was walk in there, into that cavernous chill, the house that wasn't a home any longer. Haley had been coming by during the day while he was at work, while Jack was at daycare, and boxing up the things she wanted him to take – every day he comes home to more boxes with his name on them. He was, as Jessica put it, doing everything he could to ignore the inevitable but obvious thing: Haley was going to file for divorce. It was not a question of if, it was a question of when.
“I don't see your bike...” He looked around, breaking out of the trance he'd sunken into.
“Took a cab. I uh...” Derek cleared his throat, pushing up until he was standing. Until they were eye to eye, close enough that Hotch could smell the beer on his breath. “I couldn't settle down. Took Clooney for a walk but it just made it worse, so I got in a cab and came here hoping your offer was still good...”
“My offer?” Hotch asked quietly. He'd made plenty of offers over the years, all of which he believed himself capable of keeping. Lately he'd realized exactly how far he'd overextended himself, trusting his abilities that were currently in need of repair. But Derek was here and he wasn't about to turn him away, no matter where his head and heart were at. “You might need to be more specific.”
“That case tonight,” Derek started, already feeling that familiar breathlessness of panic creeping back in. “Katie's uncle, the look in his eye...the doll...”
“Oh,” Hotch said, nodding. “I...it's been a tough night, huh?” For them both, he thought bitterly. But focusing on Derek might help him forget about his own troubles. Derek's could be helped with a little tenderness, his couldn't. “Let's go out back.”
“You don't wanna just go inside?”
Hotch stopped, glancing at the front door with disgust. “No, I'd rather not.” Walking through the house would give him away. Piles of boxes with his name on them would let Derek know that things were moving along at a serious clip, and there was no longer any question as to whether or not Haley would be coming back. They could go through the side yard and put their feet in the pool, or he could pop inside for some trunks and they could get into the hot tub, but at least this way he could avoid discussing himself altogether.
“You seem a little...”
“It's fine. Nothing I can't handle. Let me put your beer in the fridge, we can start with mine. It's probably colder.”
Derek laughed. “Yeah. Guess we both had the same idea, huh?”
That kind of a case. That kind of a night. Hotch flipped through details of the case in his mind while he made his way to the kitchen to throw Derek's beer into the empty fridge. It looked worse now, the door empty save for the half used bottle of Tobasco sauce that Haley always put in there though he reminded her time and again it didn't need refrigeration. “Is it going to hurt it by being cold?” she would ask and the argument, snippy and rude, would escalate from there. If he really thought about it, he could name a hundred different ways they'd chipped away at their marriage over the years by being unkind, thoughtless, selfish. At their marriage and at one another. It was a miracle they'd hung on as long as they had.
He tripped over a new box on his way out and grunted as he fell to the ground in the dark, silverware crashing, spilling, clattering around him. He scrambled back to his feet, rubbing at the sore spot on his knee where he'd landed and kicked the box again. This time it was no accident, it was pure frustration that sent that cardboard sliding across the floor leaving a trail of silverware in its wake.
“Dammit,” he hissed, kicking at the silverware, each piece separately went flying as he connected with the toe of his shiny leather shoes, throwing what he knew was a pretty embarrassing little hissy fit right there in his pitch black kitchen. Thankfully, there was no one around to see him.
Derek had already peeled his shoes and socks off, rolled his pants up past his knees, and was sitting with his feet in the water. With just enough light to see thanks to the moon, the scene almost looked peaceful. He kicked out of his own shoes and socks and rolled his pants up before sitting down a careful distance away. There was already a bruise spreading across the top of his knee, it would be stiff and sore by morning. A delightful reminder of his performance in the kitchen.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Hotch asked, leaning back against his hands. The water was a little cold for his taste, he wasn't going to be able to do this long. From beside him, he heard Derek draw a shaky breath inward, exhaling slowly to try and steady it. He stared into the water and waited, knowing that pushing wouldn't do any good. Derek would either talk or not, and there was no forcing it.
“I don't know, man,” Derek replied. “Why's it always someone you trust? Y'know? Someone your parents trust...that little girl probably never knew how to tell them what was happening. And every time they asked if she wanted to stay the night...”
Hotch knew he wasn't supposed to answer any of these questions. He couldn't even if he wanted to. His job was simply to listen. Until now, they hadn't spoken again about what happened in Chicago, what Carl Buford was and what he did, what Hotch knew when no one else on the team had a clue. What Derek had fought so hard to protect. He'd asked Derek to attend counseling but once he started going, Hotch stepped back knowing it wasn't any of his business. And the offer Derek spoke of, he recalled now with precision, was simply that if a case hit too close to home and he needed someone to talk to...he could find Hotch anywhere, and no matter what, he'd make himself available. It was that important to him, he'd said.
Haley had rolled her eyes when he told her that. “Anytime?” she asked, incredulously. She'd already been frustrated with him, it wasn't surprising.“No matter what? That doesn't sound like something a boss tells his subordinate, Aaron. That sounds like something a man in love says...”
“Haley, he's my friend.”
“No, Aaron, he's your co-worker.”
They never had been any good at figuring out where the line was between co-worker and friend and whatever else they might have slipped in and out of, carefully tiptoeing around boundaries like battlefields. Shared hotel rooms and nightmares, insomnia and fitness exams. They were tied together through years, bound in more than just badges and titles. Opening doors for each other, a hand placed at the small of the back or between the shoulders as a reminder that they're right there.
Only Hotch couldn't be there for this one.
He'd sent Reid and Morgan to Katie Jacobs' house, told them to get into everything, never suspecting...and when he got that call from Derek about the doll...
“He's her damn uncle,” Derek continued, pounding the last of his beer. It burned foamy and lukewarm down his throat. “The spittin' damn image of her dad. What's that do to her, huh? How does she come back from that? I told Reid she'd be okay, I told her cousin she'd be okay...but Aaron...”
“I know it's little consolation,” Hotch began, but Derek cracked the top off of his beer and raised his hand dismissively. He already knew what Hotch was going to say and yeah, it made perfect sense and it was undoubtedly good but...it didn't really make any fucking difference to how he felt right then. It really didn't make any difference at all because nothing could change the damage that was already done. Every single member of that family left the mall tonight broken. There was no happy ending, not even when they found her alive. Not even when Hotch, with his huge hands, performed chest compressions on that tiny little body while he held the fluid bag above her head and watched helplessly. Not when she coughed and gasped her way back to life, a moment that should have been blissful except for the knowledge.
There were no winners tonight.
“Yeah, yeah. We saved her life and we caught him. We put her aunt in cuffs for trying to kill her and we put her uncle in cuffs for stealing her innocence. And yeah, he's not gonna hurt her anymore and her parents know and she's got a lot of love and support...I know all that, and I hope you're right, man. I do. But I also know what it's like when the bad guy was supposed to be the good guy...when everyone looks at him like he's a fucking hero...and you know...Aaron, you know he's no fucking hero.”
It trailed off from there. Derek didn't have anything else he wanted to say, anything else he wanted to share with the moon and the stars and the crystal clear water. He felt Hotch's hand on his shoulder, fingertips pressing into muscle, and he relaxed some. Hotch scooted closer, closed the gap by inches, and took a deep breath.
“You are living proof that she can come through this,” Hotch whispered. He looked down at his feet in the water, the way it pushed over his icy skin in small waves, and sighed. “You had to do it on your own, she's got a lot of support and a lot of love. I have to believe that will help.”
Derek, staring now at Hotch's aquiline profile illuminated in silvery shreds of moon and pool light, realized something he'd been chewing on for years. He'd seen a look, some recognition, some connection in the interrogation room between Hotch and Vincent Perotta. It had been only he and Gideon watching the tape as they prepared for his trial, and Gideon sat enraptured by the discussion. Derek remembered wanting to ask Gideon a question – did you know about Hotch? But then, he thought maybe Hotch was just playing, he was an expert in the interrogation room, so he bit his tongue and helped Gideon prepare their evidence. And now, something in Hotch's silence, in the careful spaces he left between the words he chose...Derek knew there was some kinship here they had never spoken of. Would not speak of tonight. He could sense the weight of this moment, the way they danced closer to the line than ever before, one sideways glance or unsteady breath and they might just cross a line.
“Fuck. Is there anyone in the world that isn't broken?” Derek asked finally, lying back against the ground. Hotch smiled. It was a strange time to smile, he had to admit, but he couldn't think of anyone he'd rather be sitting beside right now and considering how completely terrible his day and night had been up until this point...that was saying a lot.
“I wouldn't call it broken. A little banged up, maybe, but not broken.” His smile turned a little sad. “You're doing better than I am.”
Derek pulled his feet out of the water, pressed them against the warm cement, and sat upright. “I'm getting in the pool.” Just like that, he'd flipped the switch. He was done wallowing. That hollow ache in his chest couldn't be talked out, but it could be drowned in moonlight chlorine.
“Now?”
“Now. I'm gonna go inside and grab those other beers, you can join me in the pool if you want but when I get back outside it's time to swim.”
Hotch forgot to protest, momentarily blindsided by the change in Derek's demeanor. He did that. One minute he was on the verge of tears, and the next he'd figured everything out, sorted his feelings, and wanted to walk away from the wreckage with something as close to a clean slate as he could manage. It was one of the traits Hotch most admired and envied in the other man. It made Derek's presence almost addicting, like he could acquire even a little slice of it just by being near.
It hadn't worked so far, but it didn't stop him from trying.
By the time Derek had let the screen door close behind him, Hotch remembered the box of silverware tipped and scattered on the floor, and all the towers in the next room. Every single one with AARON written in Haley's neat looping Sharpie scrawl on the side, as if anyone else would be coming for boxes of his things.
To distract himself momentarily, he started loosening his tie. He didn't really want to get into the pool, but some part of him had already made up his mind to do it anyway.
Inside, Derek walked with damp feet through the house, for the first time not terribly concerned about the little puddles he left behind. Haley had been very strict about tracking water through the house, and yeah he got it, but it was nice not to have to worry. If he slipped and fell on his ass on the way back out, maybe he'd think differently. The sight of the boxes stacked in small towers was a little jarring. Hotch had said Haley took Jack and he didn't know if she was coming back, but it looked to him like things had progressed in the short time since that conversation. This wasn't going to be Hotch's house much longer, by the looks of it, though he really couldn't understand why. Haley didn't work, no way she could afford a place like this and he felt a little guilty knowing that she was going to divorce his ass and he'd still keep paying for this house for them. Families were messy. Marriage was scary, huge and messy.
The upended box in the kitchen was in his way. Silverware scattered over the floor like a boobytrap right out of Home Alone. He dropped to his knees and scooped them back into the box. It wasn't neat, he didn't organize them, he just dumped them in to clear the floor. Whether this was accidental or intentional, he didn't plan to ask but it gave him pause. A moment to consider the volatile mindset of the man in the backyard. “Fuck...” he muttered to himself, grabbing a couple of beers. There was no sense feeling guilty for showing up needing Hotch to listen to him, though his mind tried to wade into those waters.
The walk back outside felt longer, and he hesitated at the backdoor, watching the way Hotch unbuttoned his shirt and draped all of his clothes neatly over the back of a nearby chair lawn chair. The state of the backyard was chaos, a mess of play toys and equipment, a dazzling array of things to entertain a child Jack's age and maybe even older. It was a kid's dream. But the way the toys were tipped on their sides and leaves had fallen all over the slide, grass unkempt and too long, it looked sad and deserted.
He hadn't even noticed.
Hotch showed up to work neat and tidy as ever, maybe he frowned a little faster now and it stayed a little longer, maybe he smiled less...but he never gave the impression that this was what he came home to. That this was where he was supposed to take some kind of reprieve from the day. From one nightmare into another.
“Hey,” he called, waving the beers in his hands at the man who was nearly undressed in the chilly night air. “You're joining me? Thought you'd chicken out.”
“Grab some towels from the cabinet on your way past, would you?”
“You're gonna freeze your balls off...” Derek warned. Hotch didn't deal well with cold. Everyone knew this.
“I don't think you need to be concerned about the state of my balls, Derek.”
Stars blinked in and out of existence above them, crickets and other night creatures sang their quiet symphonies and the sound of Derek's body splashing into the small pool broke the spell of the night. Just underwear, both of them. It wasn't ideal but it was better than wasting more time searching through those labeled boxes hoping to find his swimming trunks. She'd only left out his work clothes. The night wouldn't last forever, they were already chasing dawn and this was fine.
He forced his body down, down, sat cross-legged on the bottom until his lungs burned and he released the air so he could stay down longer. He ran his fingers along the rough bottom and turned his face upward, watching the still surface of the water for Hotch's entrance. He slipped in over the edge, there would be no jumping in for him, there never was. He just eased himself down like a bullet, propelled until they were face to face sitting there at the bottom. The world went silent and dark around them. Derek reached out, stretched his arm toward Hotch and waited for the man to reach back. To grab his hand. To anchor himself there for just a minute beneath the world. The moment was electric.
Breaking the surface, they stayed close together, treading water. It wasn't a deep pool, just a little over their heads, and it was cold. Hotch's teeth chattered almost immediately and Derek let out a wet laugh, sputtering as he wiped the water from his eyes and slicked it back over his head. Hotch's hair was matted to his forehead and dripping from his lashes, temporarily blinding him. But it was the goosebumps, the way he shivered in the water, that made Derek smile wide.
“Told you.”
“My balls are fine.”
Derek laughed, shaking his head. “Well the rest of you looks pretty damn cold.” They floated, caught up in a quiet moment, the gentle lapping of the water against the tile and the soft white light filtering up from the bottom.
“Hey...” Derek started quietly, slipping a little closer, maybe a little too close. “How long's this thing with Haley been going sour, huh? All those boxes in there...”
“A while.” He was purposely evasive, not eager to think too hard, too far back. A long while if he was being honest. Probably since before Jack, but the baby definitely hadn't helped. Love him as much as they both did, he wasn't enough to fix what was already crumbling. He knew Haley had hoped he would be able to fix what was broken, and maybe he had let himself get caught up in that too. It sounded so good. If they just had a baby, things would change. But that isn't really the way things work, and as she came to terms with that fact, a whole pile of others came to light. He was too busy with work to see her slowly come to terms with it all, and it came as a shock to him when it really shouldn't have.
“Yeah, and you don't say a damn word until she's already gone. By the looks of it, long gone. And I'm willing to bet if Gideon hadn't walked out on us the way he did, you still wouldn't have said anything to me. You haven't said two words to me about anything but work in too damn long, man.”
Hotch swallowed hard and felt his throat click. Gideon and Haley both left him at the same time, and he wasn't dealing well with either one. It was a careful game of avoidance, throw twice as much effort into work to avoid the suffocating feeling outside of his office. Pray for a case that would take them out of town, anything to put some distance between him and the carnage in his wake.
He was damn good at pretending, though, if you didn't look too close. No one really bothered to.
Except Derek. He was looking way too close to be fooled now.
“I'm sorry. I didn't realize how strained it had been between us. I've been...” he paused, not sure what he was even going for. “It's been difficult and I've dropped a lot of balls lately.”
“Oh please. It isn't like you haven't had your plate full being our one and only SAC. I know it was already your team but still having Gideon around was probably a load off. It's not your job to make my life easy, man. I managed just fine, but I'm not gonna lose any sleep over him hitting the road. I'm just glad we're here now. You remember when you told me that you'd be available anytime shit got bad? I bet you conveniently forgot that I said I'd do the same.”
There were tears in Hotch's eyes. “I can't do this alone,” he admitted, his voice thick and quiet. “I know Gideon was a lot to handle and he was deeply troubled, and after Bale you had trouble trusting him but...”
Derek reached up and took Hotch's jaw in his hand, pressing their foreheads together. Each of them was barely above the water, chins submerged so their toes could take hold on the rough concrete floor. “You're not alone. We're a team. You are our leader, but we've got your back. You gotta let us know when you need help though.” They're sharing breath a moment before Derek presses their lips together and then its all over. Hotch melts into the embrace, touch starved and desperate for affection. It has been so long since he's been touched like this. Part of his mind, the screaming realist, instantly began reminding him...very loudly...that this is Derek and this is going to get them into trouble. But some even louder part of him, the part that thundered wildly in his chest and pumped all the blood to his extremities screamed in a voice that drowned everything else out.
This is Derek and this is everything.
Box of silverware and bruise on his knee, inevitable nightmares and the creeping of dawn, box towers with his name scrawled over them and a date he really didn't want to keep with Jessica to hunt for a new home...none of that was louder than the way Derek's skin felt against his, the warmth of his hands pressed against Hotch's lower back, the taste of Stella Artois on his dancing tongue. This was heaven, or as close as a beggar like him could afford.
"Haley is going to fill in the pool," Hotch whispered against Derek's lips, tasting chlorine. "Now that Jack is more mobile. This all goes away soon."
"Well then I'm glad we're here now..."
There would be apologies dancing on their lips and towels to dry them off. Breakfast after no sleep would take the edge off with whipped cream on Belgian waffles and hashbrowns nestled beside a pile of scrambled eggs. Those apologies would die on their lips, unspoken because neither of them was sorry and that was the only truth they cared to admit. “I'm apartment hunting today,” Hotch said, dropping Derek off at his house after breakfast. The morning sunlight was golden and warm, his eyes were tired and yet he felt too electric to sleep even now. “But if you're not busy tonight...”
“You want me to keep you warm in the pool again? Soak up every last minute in that old thing?”
Hotch smiled and gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. “Yeah. Something like that.” He paused, giving Derek one last look before he closed the car door. “It was nice not being alone. It was nice being with you.”
“Cool. I'll call you later, see what's up.”
- - - -
“You're sorry?” Derek asked, a little louder than a hiss but still quiet. They were in Hotch's office, the door not entirely closed because that would cause a stir. Hotch didn't close his office door. But he'd called this meeting an hour after signing a lease for an apartment he didn't want and his heart was breaking in his chest.
“You came to me because you needed someone to listen and I'm afraid I may have taken advantage of that.”
“Taken...advantage? Do you even hear yourself?”
Hotch stood and frowned, folding his arms over his chest. “I'm your leader, and after some thought I feel that I may have crossed a line the other night.” What he meant to say was that there was beer and pool water and so damn many stars...and he'd been having a terrible night. He was out of sorts. And if he'd been thinking clearly he probably would have made better choices. Or, at the very least, not allowed himself to indulge in something so incredibly reckless no matter how much he wanted it.
But the problem with that theory was that he liked it. Loved it, even. Had wanted it for a long, long time. It had been a brief spot of light in his darkness. And the second night, while it didn't lead to anything more than devouring a whole pizza and combing through the verbiage in his lease agreement for the apartment he didn't want, he still felt that same electric feeling.
Jessica hadn't helped his anxiety. In fact, she was probably the reason he'd kept Derek at arm's length the second night. Probably the reason they read a contract instead of kissing until their lips hurt. The real problem was that even as mind-numbing an activity as it was...he still wanted more. He would do mind-numbing nights with Derek forever.
“You kissed him?!” Jessica had asked while exploring the third apartment of the day. It might be the one. Hotch looked like he didn't hate it, which was better than the others. He wasn't going to like any of them, but if he didn't hate it...well they could make it work. “You KISSED him?”
“Technically, he kissed me,” Hotch replied while opening a cupboard like he was even paying attention. He'd barely seen anything the whole day, but he did like this place. The basement was a fitness center with an indoor pool and some part of him was inexplicably drawn to the notion that he would still have a body of water to call his own. “But I did kiss him back.”
“Aaron, you dog!” She was smiling, but it faded quickly. “Can you do that? Are you going to get fired?” She hissed that last part so the real estate agent didn't hear them.
“It won't happen again. It shouldn't be an issue.”
“Won't happen again? You look happier this morning than you have in...well a long time. Why wouldn't you do it again?”
“Once is forgivable. Twice and...what if he doesn't feel like he can say no to me?” Given Derek's history, Hotch's face went pale at the thought. He might be sick. “I can't put him in that situation.”
“What, because you're his boss? That's absurd. Maybe if you'd kissed that little guy on your team...”
“Reid?” he asked, a little flustered. This conversation was getting worse by the minute. He chose the apartment more as a way to put a stop to one conversation and start another than anything else.
“Yeah. The kid. But you've worked with Derek for so long, no way he's not going to tell you exactly where to shove it if you do something he doesn't like.”
“Hotch...” Derek said, leaning a little closer, pulling him back to the conversation. “If you think for one second that you're actually putting me in a position where I can't say no, you're wrong. Now do I appreciate your thoughtfulness here? Absolutely. It's part of why I kissed you the other night and why I wanna keep doing it. But you gotta know I've never had a problem telling you to fuck right off if I think it's justified. Right now, JJ is about to walk through that door and tell us we have a case, I heard your phone buzz. So I'm gonna get outta here...and you can think it over. If you want to see where this kiss takes us...cool. I'm game. And if you don't? We never have to bring it up again. It never happened.”
Derek turned to walk out of the room, took a step and froze when he heard a small sound behind him.
“Derek,” came the voice, almost a whisper. He turned and found Hotch rounding the edge of the desk and approaching him cautiously. “I'm sorry. If you're certain...I am too. I don't know how to do this anymore; it's been so long. I never thought I'd feel like this again. I always assumed Haley was it for me.”
“Don't worry, boo, I got you. This is a two person sport.”
Hotch flushed and his face turned shadowy serious. He frowned and Derek knew exactly what he was going to say. “We should probably lay a few ground rules,” he started and Derek laughed and waved his hands in defeat before he had to continue. From the looks of it, they would have to move slowly. Very slowly.
Derek could do that.
He hoped, anyway.
“I won't call you boo again. At work or otherwise. I can't promise other pet names won't slip out on occasion...”
“Just not here.”
“Just not here.”
#aaron hotchner#derek morgan#hotchgan#criminal minds#hotch x morgan#aaron hotchner x derek morgan#mortch#fanfiction#tw: csa#tw: divorce#yotp 2023
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