#otp: like I love an area rug

[nocakesformissedith]

[chryblossomjjk]

midnight mistakes | jjk

⇢ PAIRING: fuckboy!jk x inexperienced reader

⇢ RATING: m/18+

⇢ WC: 2.5k

⇢ WARNINGS: v brief sm*t, v slight angst, oc is sick rip, pregnancy scare putting their relationship to the test eep!!!, brief mentions of abortion (reader considers it)

⇢ SUMMARY: a midnight romp with jungkook leads to tears on your cheeks and a pregnancy test in your hand

⇢ NOTES: i miss writing sm so here's a lil drabble of our otp :') school has been v overwhelming lately and it makes me so sad that i don't have as much time to write on here anymore. hopefully, things will calm down soon. for now, enjoy this crumb!! i love you all, let me know what you think!! if you haven't read the series yet, pls read that before this if u want to!! this wasn't beta'd so i apologize for any grammar issues or typos rip

⇢ SERIES MASTERLIST

The sequence of events that landed you in this situation; having a teary, heaving breakdown in front of your bathroom mirror, was absolutely ridiculous, to say the least.

“I’m gonna kill someone,” you squeak, breathless from the endless stream of sneezes ripping through you. The glow of the alarm clock on your nightstand reads 1 a.m. as you reach for a tissue. Violently blowing your nose does little to ease its congestion. With a shaky sigh, you crumple the sodden napkin and toss it into the bin beside your bed; overthrown by contents alike. The wet ball hits the paper mountain before rolling onto your pretty pink area rug.

You shiver, how fucking disgusting. 

A stressful week of labs and quizzes has tanked your immune system, making you susceptible to all the little germs and illnesses that strike when the brisk winter air transitions into the pollen-laced breeze of spring. The antibiotics you were prescribed did little to help your runny nose and sore throat. Pausing the anime playing on your phone, you open your messages. 

dumbo love you, get some rest please xx

So much for getting rest. You weren’t expecting a text back. Jungkook had offered to spend the night, but you encouraged him to go. It was his last semester after all. Still, you were pouty and needy, wanting nothing more than to snuggle into his arms and let the swirls of his delicate fingers on your back lull you to sleep. Instead, here you were, confined to your bed, watching Naruto solo as Jungkook, Tae, and Mina lived it up; taking shots until they were belligerent. 

A distinguishable knock rattles the door before you can press play again.

“What are you doing here?” 

Jungkook stands in your doorway, oversized black tee hanging over his equally oversized green cargo pants. His cute little mullet falls in sweaty loops around his face. “Still feelin’ like shit?” He coos, cringing at your disheveled appearance and the croak in your voice. Ignoring your question, he holds up the various items in his big hands. “I picked up a few things; cough drops—not the cherry kind ‘cause those are fucking nasty,” you laugh at the side note, “—extra spicy ramen and hot sauce to clear out your sinuses.”

Your peer at the array of remedies with wide eyes. Their ability to cure your flu symptoms is questionable. You don’t even have a way of boiling water to make said ramen in your cramped dorm, but the sentiment has your chest swelling with something other than a violent cough for the first time in days. Abruptly, you pull him into a tight embrace. 

“Ah, I see,” he laughs, wrapping an arm around the small of your back and walking you back into the room, kicking the door closed behind him. “My Bambi missed me.”

“I did,” you nuzzle into him further, “but you shouldn’t be here… you should be having fun with your friends.”

“Nah, fuck ‘em,” he retorts playfully, putting the quote-unquote medicine down and then plopping onto the bed, taking you with him. “Besides, what kind of shit boyfriend ditches their sick girlfriend to go to a party anyways?”

“The kind that should be enjoying his last semester,” you frown. 

“I am, though. I enjoy spending time with you more than anything else.”

As he lays under you, black tresses splayed against your white comforter like a misshapen halo, you feel so incredibly lucky. Gently, you run your fingers through his choppy bangs, pushing them out of his doe eyes. “Have you been drinking?” 

“Not really, just a couple shots of Fireball and a few beers.” That much alcohol would have knocked you on your lightweight ass, but after years of beer pong and keg stands, Jungkook’s tolerance was damn near Kage level. It took a lot more than that to get him drunk. “I kinda…” he averts your gaze, something he does when he’s sad or guilty. “I felt really bad so I left.”

“Jungkook, I told you it was okay.”

“I know,” he nods, sliding a warm palm under your shirt, rubbing his thumb against your skin in soothing lines. “But I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” Using your fingertip, you brush an eyelash off the apple of his cheek. “Thank you… for coming back for me.”

“Of course, Bambi.” He leans up and presses a deep kiss to your dehydrated lips.

“Kook, stop,” you mumble, craning your neck back. “You’re gonna get sick.”

“I don’t care.”

It doesn’t take much convincing. If Jungkook doesn’t care, why should you? 

What follows is a battle of warm tongues and the needy clash of his bunny teeth against yours. Tender touches coax your Sailor Moon pajama set to the floor with the promise of Jungkook’s delicious love. Before you know it, you’re sinking down onto his hard length, fingers digging into his shoulders as he slouches against your headboard.

“Take it all,” he whispers, jaw slacking as he tilts his head down, getting a clear view of your wet cunt swallowing the remaining few inches. A slick film coats the two fingers he used to hold himself up for you as your lip pillow around the base. “Yeah, just like that.” His face contorts in pleasure, overcome by your warm, slippery walls after a week of illness-induced celibacy. “Feels good, huh baby? Tell me how good my dick makes you feel.”

He wants praise and dirty talk, but the tickle in your nose makes you pause, bracing yourself as a slew of sneezes pours out of you. Eight sneezes to be exact. Jungkook’s high-pitched cackle is drowned out by a shriek as you cup your hand over your leaking nostrils. “EW!”

“Shut up, it’s fine!” He grabs a tissue from the nearly empty box. “Lemme see,” he mumbles, pulling your hand down and wiping it clean, then doing the same to your face afterward and tossing the kleenex in your glittery pink trash bin. 

“I’m sorry,” you peep, completely mortified.

“Don’t worry.” The crooked bunny grin eases your nerves. “That was fire, actually. You clenched around me so tight.”

You squint at him and then bury your head into the crook of his neck. You make love to each other; slow and gentle. At one point, Jungkook locks his tattooed fingers in between yours, pecking your bare shoulder as lazy drags of your hips bring you both to writhing climaxes. And he looks so beautiful when he climaxes, gnawing at his lip piercing, skin dewy from sweat and the moonlight shining through the blinds. 

At that moment, you felt nothing but love and pure ecstasy. 

Isn’t it funny how pleasures of the past can create complete devastation in the present?

Clutching the edge of the porcelain sink, you stare down at the pink box of pregnancy tests. There’s tear stains on your cheeks. A pain in your lungs from all the sobbing. You wish Jungkook had been a shit boyfriend that night. You’d give anything to take it all back. 

Like a sixth sense, there’s a distinguishable knock at the door. 

“Hey, I-” he stops short, brows furrowing as his dark pupils scan your face. “Have you been crying?”

“What do you think?” You shouldn’t snap at him, but the waves of anxiety washing over you make you highly sensitive. Truthfully, you weren’t going to tell Jungkook any of this. His showing up had put an awful wrench in your plans. Well, unless the test came back positive. Then, you’d be forced to tell him. You clamp your hand over your mouth, the thought making you sick to your stomach. 

“__, take a deep breath. Sit down.” You do and he follows suit. “What's going on?”  

“I-” you gulp, swallowing back a whine, struggling to form a coherent sentence. There’s no escape, you have to confess. “I think I might be pregnant.”

There’s an eerie silence once the words hit the air, lingering over you both like a dark, dreary cloud. It takes Jungkook a moment to internalize the weight of the situation, but you can tell when the thunder strikes. The pink tinge in his cheeks fades to a stark, sickly white as he inhales shakily. “Fuck-” Leaning his elbows against his knees, he digs the heels of his palms into his eyes, shielding them. “I thought you were on the pill.” 

“I am, but I was taking antibiotics last week and I read that they can make birth control less effective- and I’ve been having symptoms lately.” It all comes out in a jumbled mess like word vomit. He doesn’t respond. He doesn’t move. And it scares you. “Are you mad at me?”

“No.” Despite his posture, his tone is still and calm. “I just… don’t know what to say. It’s a lot to take in.”

“I’m sorry,” you whisper as the floodgates finally burst. You were still in the swell of your STEM program. Jungkook is just about to graduate with a Bachelor’s in photography. Both of your lives would come to a screeching halt if the worst were true. You weren’t ready for a baby, not in the slightest. “I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, hey, don’t-.” Finally, Jungkook sits up, wrapping a strong arm around your shoulder and pulling you into his side. The other arm repeats as he rests his chin on top of your head, rocking your shaking frame back and forth for comfort. “Don’t apologize, don’t cry. Why don’t you take a test before we start freaking the fuck out?”

You suppose he’s right. 

The walk to the bathroom is a blur. Suddenly, you’re on the toilet with that evil stick in hand. Jungkook is sitting on the floor with his eyes closed, knees bent and head leaned back against the wood of the cabinet. Normally, you’re extremely pee-shy. It literally will not come out. Under these circumstances, you can’t bring yourself to care. 

“You pee so softly,” Jungkook says through an airy laugh. “I pee really hard- and fast. Like-” he makes a little whooshing noise with his mouth, “like a hose.” 

“Baby, please,” you huff, setting the test aside and pulling your sweats up. You know he’s trying to ease your nerves, but this is one situation where his lighthearted jokes and comments ceased to make you smile. “This is serious.”

“Trust me, I know.” Spreading his legs, he pats the carpet between them. “C’mere.” As soon as you hit the ground he’s embracing you, trailing kisses all over your exposed skin. “What now?”

“Now,” you sigh, setting a timer on your phone for three minutes, “we wait.”

“You know… it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if it’s positive.”

“It would be absolutely awful, Jungkook.” It’s a sweet sentiment but you know he’s lying, right through his bunny teeth. Late-night conversations in bed about the future ring in your head. ‘Honestly, I don’t think I want kids,’ Jungkook had hummed in the middle of My Neighbor Totoro, ‘ever.’ Generally, you felt the same way, but the memory is terrifying in this context; sitting on the bathroom floor with him, waiting for an answer that could contradict all of your plans and possibly crumble the entire foundation of your relationship.

“Who am I kidding?” He chuckles humorlessly. “You’re right, it would be fucking awful.”

Nervously, you toy with the silver rings on his inked fingers. “What if it’s positive, Jungkook?”

“Let’s just wait until we get the results.”

“But what if it’s positive?” You twist in his arms, showing him your glassy eyes and deep frown. Showing him that his answer, regardless of what the test says, was very important to you. 

He blinks at you, lips opening and then closing promptly as he mulls over his words. “If it is… then we’ll take care of it.”

There’s a dual meaning to the sentiment that makes you chew on your bottom lip, eyes flickering up to the white ceiling to stop yourself from crying. Take care of it as in going through with it? Or take care of it as in… the other option? Honestly, the latter would be your first choice, and you’re sure it’s his as well. But for whatever reason, the fact that he assumed it makes your heart ache. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means whatever you want it to mean.” Gently, he smooths a hand over your trembling thighs before they frantically search for yours. “Just… whatever you want to do… whatever you want, I’ll support it… I’m here.”

A breath you hadn’t realized you were holding in releases in relief. You feel stupid for even questioning him. After all these months of unconditional love, you should know better. Bringing your locked hands up, you kiss his fingertips. The smile it brings out of him is just as soft as your touch. “I love you so much.”

“I love y-.”

He’s cut off by the blaring ring of your timer.

“Please, can you look?” You mumble, shaking your head and covering your eyes. “I can’t do it.”

You feel his torso twist against your back as he reaches for the test on your countertop. The time between him grabbing it and the dreaded answer feels like an eternity.

“Negative.” 

“Thank fuck!” You groan, doing a complete 180 and wrapping your arms around his neck in celebration. You haven’t felt this type of excitement since you were a child, waking up on Christmas morning and seeing colorful presents under the tree.

“What made you think you were pregnant in the first place?”

You hesitate to respond. In retrospect, it’s not as valid of a reason as you originally thought. “I’ve been feeling sick in the morning.”

Pulling back, Jungkook deadpans you. “Bambi, no shit. You’ve been sick all week.”

“I know but,” you pout, twirling a ringlet at the nape of his neck, “google said I could be pregnant…”

“You’re so fucking lucky you’re cute,” he laughs, holding you flush to him and nipping your cheek playfully. “You’ve got to be the most dramatic person I’ve ever met in my life.” You know he’s joking, but the comment makes your expression drop a bit. “But that’s part of the reason I love you so much. I’m never bored with you.”

Once again, you truly don’t know how you got so lucky. 

“Alright,” he huffs, using all of his strength to haul you up into the air and walk you back to your bedroom. Instinctually and habitually, you wrap your legs around his cinched waist. “We finished Avatar last time, so what’re we watching tonight?”

You click your tongue in contemplation. “Naruto.”

“Naruto? Bambi, isn’t Naruto like- a billion episodes long?”

When he tosses you down onto the mattress, you pout and bat your long lashes at him, pulling out all the provenly successful manipulation tactics. “Please?”

“Fine,” he grumbles, plopping down beside you. “But don’t be mad if I knock out.”

And like clockwork, Jungkook dozes off in the middle of the second episode, but that’s okay, because despite how horrible the pregnancy scare was, it truly solidified Jungkook’s presence in your life. You have all the time in the world to watch hours and hours of subpar filler episodes, and you’ll do it happily as long as you’re with him.

© chryblossomjjk 2023 [do not copy, translate or repost]

[onebizarrekai]

Hmm for the ask meme i wanna hear your opinions on... Angie?

How I feel about this character: oh boy ANGIE. I like her a lot! she was cool and spooked me a lot. however…… canon did not do her anywhere near justice in that regard and she had the potential to be a really good grey area antag. I feel like there are lots of ways to make her better and I've love to get into that.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: HRMGH kaede and tenko

My non-romantic OTP for this character: nothin comes to mind 💦 tenko could run either way.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I dunno if this is unpopular, and this kinda goes in the below answer rather than here, but I feel like she'd have benefited from her beliefs being more reminiscent of christianity.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: aside from the above comment, angie's subplot was completely swept under the rug by korekiyo's irrelevant murder plot. the cult was treated as an afterthought that was immediately interrupted by a killing and was forgotten once it happened rather than the cult causing the murder, whether it be within it or a desperate attempt to stop it. angie's depiction as a frightening grey antagonist who genuinely believes everything she is saying (which is HIGHLY preferable to the idea of her simply doing it with full awareness–that's never how it works in religion and kodaka has a noticeable a habit of undermining this with a misunderstanding of how cults work) is thrown away very quickly and it makes you wonder what the point of that plot even was if it wasn't going to have the ramifications you'd expect. the progression of the chapter felt noticeably disjointed, almost like angie's cult wasn't being treated like a real problem or something actually believable.

my OTP: kaeangie!! if you're wondering why, it's because frey and I conjured an alternate v3 with protag kaede and angie survives and becomes a problem-turned support.

my cross over ship: I got nothin…

a headcanon fact: dark undertones for bleached hair :>

[xgoldxnhour]

Ship meme for El and Sam (any verse)

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME!

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

General: Modern/TWD - I couldn't choose

Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - Well, both until their death obviously, but modern is a few decades (THANK GOD) and TWD is roughly 18-19 years.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Modern - they've been smitten for awhile, if not the whole time, but we like to torture ourselves with that slow burn best friends to lovers 10K words fanfic. TWD - literally weeks and only knew by each other's voices. It literally breaks me.

How was their first kiss? - MAGICAL. 10/10. Desperation. Chef's Kiss.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Sammy boy

Who is the best man/men? - Modern - hmmmm maybe one of his closest coworkers? His dad?

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - I don't know if she'd have any. Her brother is definitely up there with her

Who did the most planning? - I think El did a lot of the organizing of things, but they did it all together

Who stressed the most? - El, but she just stresses in general. They stressed about different things maybe. I think she stressed most in the beginning and he did getting closer to the wedding.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big. - TWD - But I mean. It might've been tiny, but the church was BEAUTIFUL. Modern - Big, barn-like wedding or maybe at the cabin for that woodsy feel. AH. Beautiful.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Uh....cannibals?

Sex:

Who is on top? - Both, but maybe more Sam xD

Who is the one to instigate things? - Both are guilty in all verses.

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head - I mean. RDR. That's all I gotta say.

How long do they normally last? - Depends on how much time they got haha. They're both sprinters and endurance runners hahahaha

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Yes, but I also don't think they're trying to think about it much.

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. - Basically no in between lmao

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children: Modern

How many children will they have naturally? - One - their own personal Aurora Borealis

How many children will they adopt? - Well, they technically adopt a lot of fur babies in Modern haha

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - El, but she doesn't mind. Sam is so good about waking up at night though.

Who is the stricter parent? - I think they both have their moments, but maybe El?

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Hm. HM. Depends on the stunt lol. But probably El. Sam is probably the instigator lol.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - El writes her little notes and makes shapes out of her food. It's basically arts and crafts for lunch.

Who is the more loved parent? - Aurora is such a daddy's girl, but mommy gives the best cuddles.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? I think during the day, it's maybe El since she works at the school or in the area. But, Sam will try if he can get the time off.

Who cried the most at graduation? - They both definitely wiped some tears, El probably wept on the car ride home though. Proud parents.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - I mean. Her dad IS the law. So xD

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Depends. Sam is an incredible cook, and they love cooking together. But, if he's working late, she comes and brings him his favorite or whatever she was experimenting that day.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - I think they're actually both pretty adventurous in their palette. Plus, they literally can't be picky in TWD lol.

Who does the grocery shopping? - Mainly El if it's during the week, but they go together on the weekend or she'll text him to pick up something specific after work.

How often do they bake desserts? - Constantly. Once a week if not more.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Both. Maybe Sam's more of a meat eater, but El is definitely an omnivore.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Equally.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Hm. Depends. When do these two leave their house unless they need to haha. For milestone anniversaries and birthdays, they sometimes travel and road trip to the Redwoods or the beach.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - El, but both can get slightly distracted sometimes when they're cooking.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - El. Blast some music and she'll go at it for hours.

Who is really against chores? - No one is against cleaning per say, but maybe they both would rather stay in bed all day instead.

Who cleans up after the pets? - Sam

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Both have their moments.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - El. Everything has to be perfect or she'll go bezerk.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - I don't know why, I feel like Sam would just be that lucky. But, El would be so excited like she's won the lottery about it.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? -El. Sam is the master of the quick shower, but not when El's around lol.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Sam did! But, when then they made it a habit to take Seamus on a walk together. Pumpkin obviously comes and goes on their own accord.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Every. Single. One. El goes overboard for holiday decorations and projects like that. Every season. All the decor. Probably has a HomeGoods credit card for those coupons.

What are their goals for the relationship? - Perseverance. Intimacy. Never go to bed angry. Communication. To love without effort and love even more when it needs effort.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - EL aka the night owl since she's so used to working late nights. Definitely not a morning person. Sam is fluent in her groans in the morning.

Who plays the most pranks? - Both do definitely in Modern. Maybe even more so when they have Aurora who likes to tag team.

@mettleborn

[chyrstis]

Hanarky for the ship meme? 👀💕

@geronimo-11 @amistrio @ma-sulevin @risenlucifer @himbopike

Let me just say that to get one ask is awesome. To get five asking for the same pair especially when it’s these two? <3 You’re all fantastic for asking, and I’m all too glad to dive into this for them.

Hana Vao / Sharky Boshaw

--

General:

Rate the Ship -  

Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - These two are full-on set on driving into that sunset together, and this last until they’re old and gray.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - It’s pretty fast for both. Sharky was a little love-struck if not during their initial intro, then shortly after, wondering who the hell this woman was, yelling Die Hard quotes while handing him molotovs, and why he didn’t have a chance to meet her sooner. Hana on the other hand was immediately charmed by his brand of absurdity, and after a week or two on the road, found she didn’t want to go a day without it. It didn’t take much longer for feelings to set in after that.

How was their first kiss? - Oh, it was a doozy. Entirely on accident, especially since she just wanted to thank him for always being sweet to her (and for finding coffee, b/c going without it’s been rough), and wanted to kiss his cheek. No big deal. She lays one right on his mouth instead, and the residual shock and the holy shit of it all makes her immediately exit stage left. The kiss they share later on down the line’s one she’s much more content with, b/c there’s no grey area, no doubting it at all, and the minute he returns it she’s almost overwhelmed by it. Sharky’s easily in the same boat, b/c this isn’t wishful thinking, or him hoping for something that isn’t there. It’s her wanting him, and once he can shut his mouth for longer than a few seconds at a time they get to making up for all the times they should’ve kissed before.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Sharky! It’s years down the line, but he finds a way to make a ring for her, and after checking to see if it fits, immediately proposes to her on the spot.

Who is the best man/men? - There’s no official ceremony, but Sharky would’ve wanted Hurk there for it, if possible.

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Hana would’ve definitely asked Grace.

Who did the most planning? - Sharky! Hana had no damn clue what he had in mind, or was planning, but he actually managed to get a little misty-eyed while watching a proposal scene from one of her movie picks, so...

Who stressed the most? - Sharky. Though the poor guy didn’t get hit with most of it until he’d slipped the ring onto her finger.

How fancy was the ceremony? -

Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - N/A (Hurk Sr. gets an honorary mention here, though)

Sex:

Who is on top? - Both like the other on top so they’ll definitely switch, but Hana’s probably there the most often.

Who is the one to instigate things? - They’re both equally guilty of this with varying degrees of subtlety, and Hana’s absolutely burst out laughing at a few of Sharky’s attempts, but always gets right to kissing him soon after.

How healthy is their sex life? -

Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now - (hey, they’re making up for lost time here)

How kinky are they? -

Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - A good couple of rounds if they’re in a safe place, and time’s no object.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - They certainly try (though she grouses at Sharky whenever he gets a lead on her, leaving him wearing the worst shit-eating grin)

How rough are they in bed? -

Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? -

No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - Two! Gabrielle, and I’m still trying to zero in on a name for their little boy. Rocky? Jack? Kurt?

How many children will they adopt? - N/A

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - These two try to split this duty right down the middle.

Who is the stricter parent? - Hana, which is a feat. XD

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Also, Hana, b/c no matter what she and Sharky got up to before this, it’s really for the best that neither of the kids try to emulate that.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - It’s a team effort, and any no-cult AU would totally involve Sharky handing bags of chips and jerky to each kid with Hana on his heels ready with a sandwich or two.

Who is the more loved parent? - They’re both pretty equal, but Gabby loves working with Sharky in the Pyrotechnics lab big-time, while Kiddo #2 loves racing around with Hana (and is a movie trivia buff in the making)

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? N/A - Hana would be dragged kicking and screaming to them and hate it.

Who cried the most at graduation? - N/A due to the Collapse, but Sharky might win this one. He certainly sheds a happy tear or two whenever the kids hand him gifts or show him cool things they’ve made, and any award they’d earn? Whoops, he’d be a goner.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Hana’s up to bat first going through legal avenues, but if she can’t manage to wing it, Sharky’s ready to step up to the plate.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - They both would be take-out junkies, but Hana can make most of the basics.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Neither, really. She’d tease Sharky about deviating any from his jerky-heavy diet, though.

Who does the grocery shopping? - Probably Hana, but she’d drag him along for it too (and they’d race carts in the parking lot)

How often do they bake desserts? - Not frequently, but Hana would every once in a blue moon attempt a cake or brownies, and post-Collapse Sharky tries really hard to find a way to make that happen.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Meat, meat, meat.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Sharky, and although he’s not much of a cook, he’ll save her extra desserts for their anniversary week. Once they’re out he tries to go a little fancier, though, and doesn’t burn things to a crisp 60-70% of the time?

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Sharky.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - Sharky.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - They’re both messy, so they try to take turns with chores.

Who is really against chores? - Sharky. He’s not thrilled with any of it, but puts up with it since

Who cleans up after the pets? - They don’t start off with pets, but Hana can’t help but feed a stray cat or two once they get to the surface, and gladly takes care of any messes they make.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Sharky, the sneak.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Both would usually be okay, but Hana does stress a bit more about cleaning when a certain someone John tends to visit.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Sharky would probably find the dollar while trying to sweep things under it, to be honest. XD

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Hana. It’s where she can unwind, and it only gets longer if she has company (which she usually hopes for and Sharky 100% delivers on)

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - If moments with Boomer count, Hana would totally go jogging with him, and did a few times while heading out on patrol.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Hana’s a Halloween junkie, and loves throwing parties, so that's a must even when they don't have many actual decorations to hang. Sharky won't hesitate to help her find some prime picks, though, and can whip up some great ones in a jiffy.

What are their goals for the relationship? - Have the other’s back no matter what, and make the other the happiest they’ll ever be.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Sharky.

Who plays the most pranks? - Sharky.

[clutch-wept]

Ultimate Ship Meme

Ana Maria Ramos ღ John Seed

Tagged by @pd3​, thank you so much!

Tagging: @baeogorath @oldserah​ @gamer-purgatory​ @gracethornwood​ @dep-yo-tee​ @deputy-janai​ @bleudragonfire​ @hoesephseed​ @twirlingsmoke and YOU!

General

Rate the Ship: Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? ○  Until Ana drops dead and John follows suit from heartbreak.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? ○  It was a... process.

How was their first kiss? ○  Slow, hesitant, hopeful.

Wedding

Note: Their canon timeline wouldn’t allow them to have a proper wedding so this is hypothetical.

Who proposed? ○  John beat Ana to the punch. She was still working up the nerve to do it herself.

Who is the best man/men? ○  Joseph would be John’s best man.

Who is the bride’s maid(s)? ○  Sharky and Hurk Jr would be Ana’s bros of honor.

Who did the most planning? ○  Ana would try to plan it as to avoid putting any more work on John’s shoulders. John and Ana’s mother end up taking over anyways.

Who stressed the most? ○  Ana. John’s in his element when it comes to event planning, Ana not so much.

How fancy was the ceremony? Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big. [ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙɪɢɢᴇꜱᴛ ᴍᴇxɪᴄᴀɴ ʙᴏᴅᴀ ᴛʜɪꜱ ꜱɪᴅᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴍᴏɴ���ᴀɴᴀ ɪꜰ ᴀɴᴀ'ꜱ ᴍᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ʜᴀᴅ ɢᴏᴛᴛᴇɴ ʜᴇʀ ᴡᴀʏ]

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? ○  Nick nearly got himself uninvited but after a heated argument and a promise of several kegs of his favorite beer at the reception things were smoothed out.

Sex

Who is on top? ○  John for the most part.

Who is the one to instigate things? ○  They both good at initiating.

How healthy is their sex life? Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? ○  Varies.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? ○  They try to keep it balanced but don’t worry themselves too much about it.

How rough are they in bed? Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. [ᴇɪᴛʜᴇʀ ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴀɴ ɪɴᴛɪᴍᴀᴛᴇ, ʀᴇʟᴀxᴇᴅ ᴅᴀʟʟɪᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴏʀ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ'ꜱ ʙᴏᴜᴛᴛᴀ ɢᴇᴛ ᴄʜᴏᴋᴇᴅ]

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children

How many children will they have naturally? ○  1, possibly 2

How many children will they adopt? ○  n/a

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? ○  Ana since she breastfeeds, so she’s by the baby more often by default. John’s pretty good about helping out though.

Who is the stricter parent? ○  Ana.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? ○  Ana’s had to do a running dive, or several, to catch the kiddo(s).

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? ○  John.

Who is the more loved parent? ○  John since he’s the good cop to Ana’s bad cop.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? ○  John, as he’s the more diplomatic of the two.

Who cried the most at graduation? ○  The grandparents.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? ○  John. Ana’s more likely to let em sit in a cell for a few days if she thinks it’ll teach em a lesson.

Cooking

Who does the most cooking? ○  Ana.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? ○  John has a few foods he absolutely abhors due to being forced to eat them as a child.

Who does the grocery shopping? ○  John has his followers

How often do they bake desserts? ○  Ana likes to put older fruits she hasn’t gotten around to eating in bread. She’ll sometimes make cookies too.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? ○  Ana is partial to meat but they’re both okay with either.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? ○  John likes to go all out with an extravagantly cooked dinner and pretty gifts. Ana is more likely to make a home-made meal while planning to do a cute activity together.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? ○  John, though the selection of restaurants is pretty limited in Hope County...

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? ○  Ana after a dozen beers as she tries to demonstrate a hibachi routine an Army cook once showed her.

Chores

Who cleans the room? ○  Ana will clean her room and other living areas. John can clean but usually has the help do it.

Who is really against chores? ○  Ana takes her time starting chores but does a good job finishing them.

Who cleans up after the pets? ○  Ana cleans up after all her Fangs for Hire. John will help sometimes with Boomer but leaves Peaches’ and Cheeseburger’s messes to his followers.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? ○  Neither

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? ○  Ana channeling her mother: “There can not be any sign of LIVING in this house!” [ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰɪʀꜱᴛ ᴄᴏᴜᴘʟᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴛɪᴍᴇꜱ ᴊᴏʜɴ ʜᴀꜱ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ʜᴇʟᴘ ʜᴇʀ ᴏᴜᴛ ꜱᴏ ꜱʜᴇ ᴅᴏᴇꜱɴ'ᴛ ɢᴏ ᴀᴘᴇꜱʜɪᴛ]

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? ○  Ana gets really excited when she manages to find any spare change and keeps what she finds in a former mayonnaise jar.

Misc.

Who takes the longer showers/baths? ○  Ana stays in until the water turns cold when she wants some daydreaming time.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? ○  Ana will take Boomer out but John occasionally joins her.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? ○  Ana likes to decorate for the 4th of July, the start of fall, Halloween, and Christmas.

What are their goals for the relationship? ○  John wants to let go of some of his deep-seated resentments and learn healthier coping mechanisms. He doesn’t want to keep hurting or disappointing those closest to him. Ana wants to do away with her hero complex which has caused her to inadvertently hurt as many people as she’s saved.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? ○  Ana, if she’s particularly exhausted after a excursion.

Who plays the most pranks? ○  A N A

[shenanigumi]

The ultimate ship meme for HaraChi ❤

Oh, there you are! Or someone else taking the opportunity to ask. (I wish read-mores still worked on asks, since it’s a long one…)

General:

Rate the Ship: Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? They’re in it for the long haul and have been from the start. Sano in particular isn’t about to let Chizuru slip through his fingers, and she’s perfectly content to stay with him forever.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? Not too fast. Chizuru has always admired Sano, since come on, look at the guy, but she got too far into her head about it, so his feelings developed in a romantic way first.

How was their first kiss? You’ve seen it in canon and it was… uh… awkward. Their second kiss, during their actual confession, was much better.

Wedding:

Who proposed? Sano, sort of, but… he never officially asked. It was just kind of a foregone conclusion that they’d get married. One could argue that it was the purpose of their relationship.

Who are the best man and groomsmen/maid of honor and bridesmaids? They don’t have that kind of ceremony, not least because they’re no longer in Japan, but they drink to Shinpachi and Heisuke, and Chizuru spares a thought for Sen.

Who did the most planning? It was an informal enough ceremony that it didn’t really require much planning, but Sano made the exact arrangements (meaning… going out and buying the equivalent of sake).

Who stressed the most? Chizuru, since she had just moved to an unfamiliar country and this was another change. Her nervousness was drowned out by excitement and then euphoria, though.

How fancy was the ceremony? Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? They didn’t have the luxury of inviting anyone at all, so no one was specifically excluded, either.

Sex:

Who is on top? Sano, usually, but they both love it when Chizuru surprises him and takes charge like the demon she is. (Sano will almost never admit how much he likes it outside of that context, though.)

Who is the one to instigate things? Also typically Sano, but Chizuru loves turning the tables. He especially loves it when she gets that insistent because it assures him that he isn’t pressuring her and that she wants him of her own free will.

How healthy is their sex life? Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once or twice a week, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? Depends on who’s in charge. Usually just long enough, never too short and rarely “too” long.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? Absolutely. Sano is very careful about that.

How rough are they in bed? Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? Probably three, all sons.

How many children will they adopt? None.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? Chizuru, but she doesn’t mind at first since Sano doesn’t know what he’s doing anyway. It’s when more kids come along that she makes him step it up.

Who is the stricter parent? Sano, but only because he has a pretty defined code of honor as a warrior. He’s not exactly stern.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? Chizuru. She worries about them, since they and Sano are all she has.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? Chizuru. Even if the kids are homeschooled and there’s no reason to pack lunches, she still makes them.

Who is the more loved parent? They’re about equally loved, but Sano is an almost perfect father once he gets the hang of it. (It does take him a few years to really hit his stride, though.)

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? If such a thing existed, Sano would want in on it. He’d want to make sure his sons are being treated well and not disciplined too harshly for “minor” transgressions.

Who cried the most at graduation? Chizuru.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? Probably Sano, but you never know; Chizuru might help. They’d both want to help out, at any rate.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? Chizuru.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? Neither of them, really. Sano never grows out of the soldier principle of eating what he can whenever he can.

Who does the grocery shopping? Chizuru, but Sano often insists on coming with her, especially shortly after they emigrate.

How often do they bake desserts? Not too often, since Chizuru is careful about health, but they do so more often after they have kids. She even has Sano help.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? Chizuru makes sure their meals are balanced, but Sano prefers substantial things like meat.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? Sano. He’d want to repay Chizuru for all the crazy amount of effort she puts into homemaking and making him the happiest man alive.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? Sano. He loves showing off his family, even when it’s just him and Chizuru.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? Sano, but he’s not a bad cook. He just might end up distracted, like if he’s trying to keep the kids from killing each other or something.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? Usually Chizuru, but she makes Sano help out if a.) it’s really bad and/or b.) it’s mostly his mess (the two go hand in hand).

Who is really against chores? Sano.

Who cleans up after the pets? They don’t keep pets until their kids find a dog. Then, they make the kids take care of them.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? Sanoooooooo.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? Chizuru, once they make some friends in the area. She wants to make a good impression.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? Sano. When Chizuru didn’t know whose it was, he put it in savings, just in case.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? Chizuru. She likes being thorough.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? The kids.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? Very often. Having been cut off from their homeland, they feel obligated to celebrate every single Japanese holiday that comes their way.

What are their goals for the relationship? Their major goal was to get married and have kids, which they did quite quickly.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? Sano, soaking in the fact that he doesn’t have to work night shifts anymore, but Chizuru almost always wakes him up before that happens.

Who plays the most pranks? Neither of them want to risk hurting one another, so they never play pranks as such, but Sano is more mischievous by nature and occasionally plays good-natured tricks on Chizuru (“Surprise! I pretended to not be feeling well enough to go into town with you so I could clean the whole house while you were gone!”), especially after they have kids.

[blue-eyed-devils]

Ultimate Shipping Meme Lyon and Johnny

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME!

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs -  They’re really well suited. What can I say?

How long will they last? - Till Death Do Us Part.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - They will, but act like it’s no big deal.

How was their first kiss? - Hasty and passionate.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Lyon, because Johnny would never dare.

Who is the best man/men? - Richie

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Lyon’s sister

Who did the most planning? - Poor Lyon would have to coz Johnny would be out hiding in the tavern.

Who stressed the most? - Johnny, because weddings are scary.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.   Not fancy at all,  Lyon refuse to make a big fuss.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Johnny’s ex’s

Sex:

Who is on top? - Lyon mostly.

Who is the one to instigate things? - Johnny’s the greedy, impatient one.

How healthy is their sex life? -Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now   Blame Johnny.

How kinky are they? -Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head  Lyon can only be convinced so far...

How long do they normally last? - Till Johnny’s exhausted.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Mostly, though Lyon is particularly gifted in this area.

How rough are they in bed? -Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? -No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.  They both like a cuddle and such, but follow decorum in public.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - None, though they’ve tried plenty haha

How many children will they adopt? -  None, if Johnny had his way. But if Lyon really wanted to, maybe a couple.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Lyon, because Johnny’s suddenly disappeared.

Who is the stricter parent? - Lyon disciplines them like he would his guards.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Johnny because he doesnt want history to repeat itself.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Johnny, because he’d be well used to reminding Lyon to eat by this stage.

Who is the more loved parent? - Both for different reasons.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Lyon because he’s responsible. 

Who cried the most at graduation? - Lyon because Johnny would take something to numb his emotions.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - They both would, but with different ways of handling it.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Hmn... they’re both as bad as each other. 

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Lyon. Johnny would eat anything put in front of him.

Who does the grocery shopping? -  Johnny. 

How often do they bake desserts? - Never.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Meat

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Lyon, because they agreed not to do anything for it but he did it anyway.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Johnny, because he gets bored quicker.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Both of them are terrible.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Lyon.

Who is really against chores? - Johnny

Who cleans up after the pets? - Lyon. 

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Johnny.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Both of them for different reasons.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Lyon because he’d be more likely cleaning.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? -  Johnny.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Lyon.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Rarely because they’re both indifferent to holidays.

What are their goals for the relationship? -  ‘Adventuring & all the sex we can handle’ ‘Unraveling the mystery that is my lover’

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? -  Both - too tuckered out from last night’s fumble in the dark.

Who plays the most pranks? - Johnny.

[zubatsandrattatas]

Autumn and Falkner (either verse)

Ultimate Shipping Meme!

((I’m gonna do the main verse because I am weak for them and want to believe they’ll eventually get a happy ending!))

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs | Like what kind of rating can I give them I love them so much I cannot begin to express that

How long will they last? - The real question is how long before they get together. I imagine once this happens they’d last a good long while.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - This is a slow burn. Multiple literal real-life years in the making. These two put too much thought into everything when it comes to their relationship, and therefore will deny their feelings until they simply can’t anymore.

How was their first kiss? - Spontaneous and sudden, after Autumn had pulled off a flight maneuver Falkner had shown her all on her own. She was so thrilled that she had to kiss him.

Realtalk though, I had to hunt for this answer. I knew they’ve kissed in universe before but I had to hunt it down, even going so far as to go to an old RP blog where these two first interacted. Surprisingly, I could only find a couple instances of them actually kissing properly, as most of the kisses were anywhere BUT the lips! But this seems to be their first kiss actually written in the main verse, not Twins!Verse. However this came from the first kiss prompt. So fun times XD

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Likely, Autumn first mentioned or brought up the talk of marriage, but I seriously doubt that Falkner would allow Autumn to propose herself. Not that she wouldn’t. I could see it being less of a proposal and more of a mutual “Oh. I guess marriage is next then…”

Who is the best man/men? - Probably Rod and Abe

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - This one is tricky. Autumn doesn’t have a whole lot of female friends. I imagine if she had any they’d be a couple of people that she trusted more than anyone else.

Who did the most planning? - It would be a mutual planning effort, but Autumn would likely take care of more things, simply because she’d want to take as much as she could off his shoulders.

Who stressed the most? - Falkner. He’s simply more prone to stress about these things than Autumn, and as a gym leader there’s a certain precedent he must set.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.| Assuming they even decide to have a ceremony. It would be small and intimate. Nothing huge or fancy.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Well I can’t think of anyone specifically, but I imagine members of nefarious criminal groups would be discouraged.

Sex:

Who is on top? - I imagine they switch quite a bit.

Who is the one to instigate things? - Probably Autumn mostly until they each get more comfortable with being together.

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now| I imagine it’s quite healthy, though nothing crazy. 

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head| I have always pictured them both being fairly Vanilla.

How long do they normally last? - As long as they need to. It’ll depend on the session.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Yes both of then do.

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.| I could see it getting rough when they’re in the right mood but nothing crazy.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do?No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.| Honestly I could see these two cuddling more than having actual sex.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - Definitely at least one.

How many children will they adopt? - Does the Twins!Verse count? If so, Falkner would adopt them, so at least 2.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - They share that burden, though sometimes Falkner is busy with gym duties so Autumn will get slightly more.

Who is the stricter parent? - They try not to be stricter than the other, but Falkner might be one to spoil them more in general.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Autumn. She knows all about being a hell-raiser, and knows what signs to look for.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Falkner. He might forget to eat himself but he makes sure that the child/children are always equipped with lunch and snacks.

Who is the more loved parent? - I don’t see the child/children really picking a favorite, though I doubt any kid will resist being able to brag that their dad, biological or adopted, is a gym leader!

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - Autumn. Mostly because Falkner has enough on his plate, but also to make sure she is involved in any and all ways she can be in her kid’s lives.

Who cried the most at graduation? - I highly doubt there would be a dry eye between either of them.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - It would really depend on what kind of trouble they get into. Autumn has connections in a few questionable areas and can help slip them out of trouble if things are in-progress or in certain circles, but once they are in custody Falkner is needed to take over.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Autumn. She has to make sure Falkner eats. She tends to just feed all in the gym.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? -  Also Autumn. Blame the palette she got from growing up so wealthy.

Who does the grocery shopping? - They do it together!

How often do they bake desserts? - Depends on the mood but Autumn likes to bake.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Both.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Likely Falkner, because Autumn is so used to being the one to cook.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Someone from the gym, Rod or Abe, pushing them out for a date night.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - Both of them might tbh.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Both do.

Who is really against chores? - Autumn hates doing them since they’re so tedious.

Who cleans up after the pets? - Falkner finds it very hard to leave anything having to do with the birds to anyone but himself.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Autumn.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - They both do but for different reasons. Falkner because he wants the gym to make a good impression and Autumn out of the habit of having to look presentable for guests.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Rod and Abe, though Autumn is good at finding any loose change.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Autumn, because she loves a good soak.

Who takes the dog birds out for a walk fly? - falkner usually, but they often go on flights together now that Autumn is just at home in the air.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - All the time!

What are their goals for the relationship? - Just to stay together and make sure the other is happy.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Autumn, though Falkner can sleep in quite a bit depending on what happened the night before.

Who plays the most pranks? - Autumn, though Abe and Rod would likely join in.

[crzytwn]

Crannog & Julie

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - Uh forever? Idk.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - After it took Julie like a lil minute to warm up to him, it was probably SO fast.

How was their first kiss? - Probably like sort of accidental after being really lit from pulling something super crazy off but then after taking a second to digest what they just did, they just kept going.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Crannog. Like it would be so badass and girl power for Julie to do it, but that's not her beat. BUT in a fun twist for her, she wouldn't have to disappear for a few days to think about it, it's an INSTANT "yes!"

Who is the best man/men? - Crannog has uh no friends that I know of anymore.

Who is the bride’s maid(s)? - Rainier, Rosalie, and Jo. And maybe some others.

Who did the most planning? - Julie would hire someone for that.

Who stressed the most? - Crannog is the stressy one.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8. It's a royal wedding and Julie loves an aesthetic. | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Julie would fight SO HARD to not invite Jac to make a point. But she's probably invited if not somewhere in the wedding party.

Sex:

Who is on top? - Uhhh Crannog??

Who is the one to instigate things? - Either, but mostly Julie? Not that she wouldn't be concerned about Mairi too, but Julie trusts her small rambunctious child to stay put like way too much. The lack of self awareness is distressing.

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8. They have a lot of lost time to make up for, but they also have a kid.| 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8. Julie really loves them knives idk.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - It's probably a competition to see who can give the most.

How rough are they in bed? -Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 It's wild wild wild, since duh and also it's like the only area where Crannog hasn't had to pull back since Mairi was born.| Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Julie's primary love languages are touch and quality time, so there's no way Crannog wasn't like forced to walk around with his girlfriend like draped all over him with her hand in his pocket. And not even the back pocket like a girl with any sense of decency. I mean the one closest to his peen.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - Julie thinks four is the best number, but it could be less, could be more.

How many children will they adopt? - I don't think they will, unless like they somehow run into a cool lil orphan kid that needs a family??

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Crannog. I.... really don't think Julie ever changed any of Mairi's ngl?

Who is the stricter parent? - Crannog.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - No one? Like Crannog's paranoid, but if he tried to "stifle" any of their children like that Julie would yell at him. So he probably stands by with first aid more than anything.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Crannog.

Who is the more loved parent? - They're both loved a fairly even amount I think.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - Crannog. Julie is probably banned for trying to fight the bitchy moms.

Who cried the most at graduation? - Both! So hard!

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Crannog. It's probably Julie's fault.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Crannog

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Julie. She's very spoiled.

Who does the grocery shopping? - The whole family. When Julie shops alone she only buys enough for a one or two meals, a lot of snacks and way too many flowers from the lil florist section and When Crannog shops he doesn't buy anything fun, so they have to go together or it's a mess.

How often do they bake desserts? - Once or twice a week maybe?

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Both? Eww I just thought about how Julie probably likes her meat and vommed.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Julie orders catering but like, it's still a surprise.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Julie.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Also Julie.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Crannog

Who is really against chores? - Julie and Mairi. Unless it's turned into a little game, then it's just Julie.

Who cleans up after the pets? - Crannog. Julie would've grown up with that one former footstool dog and she like animals just fine. But she doesn't like animals in the house very much because of mess, so that's all Crannog's job if he and Mairi want one so bad.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Julie.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Crannog.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Mairi.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Mairi, she and Julie are probably having barbies vs rubber duck wars often.

Who takes the dog out for a walk?- Julie and sometimes Mairi comes too, the exercise is fun.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Often, they love the experience with Mairi.

What are their goals for the relationship? - ?????

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - ? Julie maybe but I don't know?

Who plays the most pranks?- All of them. Crannog is probably more mindful about it but it's probably intense.

[snxwbird]

Monet and Law. ' ' Watching you for so long has really made me like the ship. X3

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME!

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!  @wanospider

yes GOOD.

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - Until one of them dies.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - It was mostly a physical, non-attachment thing at first, but then they fell the way one falls asleep. Slowly at the beginning, and then all at once.

How was their first kiss? Their first one was a spur of the passionate moment kind of thing. Slowly, with time, they became a lot more meaningful.

Wedding:

Who proposed? Law

Who is the best man/men? Bepo

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? Baby Five/Sugar

Who did the most planning? Law, actually, surprising everyone.

Who stressed the most? Monet, because she thought she had only a week to plan it.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? Doflamingo, because Law was the organizer. 

Sex:

Who is on top? They switch quite a lot, but usually Monet. 

Who is the one to instigate things? 

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? A while.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? They try.

How rough are they in bed? Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? 3

How many children will they adopt? 0

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? Monet

Who is the stricter parent? Law

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? Law

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? Monet

Who is the more loved parent? Monet

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Both

Who cried the most at graduation? They both almost cried.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? Both.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? Monet

Who is the pickiest in their food choice? Law, he is a right pain in the ass.

Who does the grocery shopping? Law, then Monet goes and buys all he’s forgotten.

How often do they bake desserts? Weekly.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? Fish lovers/ Salad eaters.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? Law

Who is more likely to suggest going out? Monet

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? Neither of them really.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? Both do clean, but Monet does it more often in certain areas.

Who is really against chores? Law is a brat about it sometimes but ends up doing it.

Who cleans up after the pets? Both.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? The kids.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? Law. Not really stressing, more like annoyed they have visitors at all. 

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? Monet.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? Monet. They are especially long if Law joins her (;

Who takes the dog out for a walk? Monet takes him for runs, Law takes him for a walk around the block. 

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? Christmas is a big deal in that house.

What are their goals for the relationship? To make each other better.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? Law.

Who plays the most pranks? Monet.

@drtrafalgar tagging you bc this is relevant to your ass. 

[otherluces]

KENNY AND CLYYYYDE

Happy freaking Valentine's Day to me! Thank you Metro, I loves you (although if I really wanted to, I probably could have been lame and sent an anon message to myself ^^() ). Also I’m basically answering these through the lens of my story because...I don’t know, it helps me flesh it out more. Also @andiamaprincess I see you sent me this one, too.

General:

Rate the Ship -  

Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs - I generally don’t like to call various ships OTPs cause I ship nearly everything, but given my obsession with these little fuckers lately, I’ll use the term for nowHow long will they last? - Til death, but that doesn’t mean they won’t have their struggles and rough patches - just because you’re total bros with your partner doesn’t mean you don’t fight about stupid shitHow quickly did/will they fall in love? - a couple months, but that was more of that puppy love/new relationship energy dynamic...it takes about a year for them to say I love you and really mean it on a deep, meaningful levelHow was their first kiss? -Drunken, but sweet...unfortunately Clyde doesn’t remember it in the morning, but Kenny...

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Clyde tried to, but his plan went horribly wrong and he got really upset (maybe a little crying). Kenny caught the gist of what he was trying to do, and by the end of the night, Kenny just said yes while they were snuggling in bed (it takes a few minutes for Clyde to catch on, but once he does, he practically smothers Kenny with kisses and a bear hug)Who is the best man/men? - CraigWho is the Maid of Honor? - KarenWho did the most planning? -They were pretty equal in the planning. It wasn’t intense planning, like long sessions with binders and stuff, but whenever one of them thought of something they wanted, they just sort of blurt it out to the other. Clyde even sometimes woke up Kenny in the middle of the night to tell him something like “we should have a big screen TV with Super Smash Bros. hooked up at the reception!”Who stressed the most? - ClydeHow fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big. -(borrowing from my own un-fancy wedding) They rented a cheap hall for a venue, had a potluck reception, and went DIY for most everything else. They’re not destitute, but not wealthy, and they both agree that spending a lot of money on a big fancy wedding is fucking dumb.Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? -Stuart, but he shows up anyway, promising that he won’t drink...he does, but thankfully only drinks like two beers and generally behaves himself (this is my father in law from my wedding...he called me a bitch like 3 days before our wedding, probably cause I said he couldn’t drink there (and he was drunk when I said this to him))

Sex:

Who is on top? - They switch, but if they had to pick a preference, Clyde likes to top more often because he has to be in the right mindset for receivingWho is the one to instigate things? - Whomever has the erection first and starts grinding on the otherHow healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right nowHow kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s headHow long do they normally last? -Kenny is kinkier than Clyde, but Clyde does enjoy the getting occasional spanking...really I’d probably call them a 5, but the description of a 5 includes butt stuff which...well most of what the do is butt stuff, so....Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - They try, but some days you just can’t finish, some days you manage to have a couple. They don’t stress about it.How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. -depends on their mood, Kenny is typically the dirty talker, as when Clyde has tried, it just ends up sounding more silly than sexy, they tend to like rougher sex, but sometimes they enjoy more gentle “lovemaking”How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - again, no ABO hereHow many children will they adopt? - one...Clyde would probably make a kickass dad, but Kenny was nervous, afraid he’d become his parents...Clyde tells him he’s nothing like his parents and that he can help break the cycleWho gets stuck with the most diapers? - They take turns, they’re not assholesWho is the stricter parent? -Kenny, who overcorrected a bit from his extremely passive parents. He’s not authoritarian though.Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? -Neither...they’re usually filming their kids doing the stuntsWho remembers to pack the lunch(es)? -Kenny Who is the more loved parent? -I like to think that their kid would brag about how they had the two coolest dads in the worldWho is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? They try to help out with fundraisers when they can, but they don’t really attend PTA meetings...Who cried the most at graduation? -ClydeWho is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? -Kenny

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - ClydeWho is the most picky in their food choice? -Clyde (cause Kenny is still stoked to be eating at all)Who does the grocery shopping? -BothHow often do they bake desserts? -once a week for Sunday dinnerAre they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? -They love their meat, but they eat well-balanced meals (they want to instill healthy eating on their kid, Clyde because he ate a bit too much as a kid, Kenny because he barely ate at all)Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? -Kenny - Clyde always cooks tasty food, so Kenny tries to plan a fancy anniversary dinner, but it never turns out quite like the recipe said it wouldWho is more likely to suggest going out? -Kenny - Clyde likes to go out, but he prefers to stay at home and snuggle on the couchWho is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? -you’d think Clyde because he can get forgetful, but he’s an ace cook - Kenny is more likely to get distracted preparing a side dish and forgetting that the stove was on

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - RoombaWho is really against chores? -ClydeWho cleans up after the pets? -They’re both actually good about this because they love their pets and want their living area to be cleanWho is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? -both - it’s a quick, effective cleaning technique ^^()Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? -Their child - they love their dads, but they can be kind of embarrassing...Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? -Kenny - Clyde loses his petty cash all the time

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - ClydeWho takes the dog out for a walk? -The whole family goes to the dog park (cause SP had a dog park by this point....)How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? -Kenny and Karen get a little extreme with holidays, as it was some of the better times they had as kids, so Kenny has Karen come over and they decorate the shit out of the living roomWhat are their goals for the relationship? -To be happyWho is most likely to sleep till noon? -They’re both sleeping to noon on the weekends. When their kid is young, they climb into bed and sleep between themWho plays the most pranks? -Clyde

[brightestwitchxmionee]

you know it: screw canon thus dramione.

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME!Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPsHow long will they last? -Fairly long/Forever. I see them being very passionate about one another, since their relationship should have started off with building on past emotions and feelings, so they find themselves vulnerable around the other and rely on each other. How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Took roughly around 50 years, give or take 48. All that baggage, not enough time. How was their first kiss? - I always imagine their first kiss in two ways, either they’re arguing about something ridiculous, but their snippiness only because they don’t know how to properly explain their feelings for each other so they decided to do it out of frustration. anything, the smallest things like discussing proper potion technics while doing homework or arguing over a book brings up this silly fight and then eventually either one says something super attractive to the other, possibly some smart comment and they can’t take it and ~boom~ they kiss.  OR they’re alone with one another, finally coming clean about all the past occurrences that happened to them in the war and while growing up at hogwarts, or rather speaking without barriers this time around, because they always spoke about the incidents but in fragments or in passing, never delving deeper into the problem. && they’re just apologising, explaining, Hermione is probably crying a lil, maybe a lot, and out of comfort they seek each other and ~kiss~ 

Wedding:

Who proposed? - DracoWho is the best man/men? - Maybe Theo??Who is the bride’s maid(s)? - Ginny would be maid of honour. Don’t think Hermione would want many maids, or want such a big party.Who did the most planning? - I think they equally would do the same amount of planning for the Wedding. I think Draco would want to also have a say in the decorating aspect, rather than just Hermione. He grew up privileged, he knows what is good and expensive and would suggest from time-to-time. Who stressed the most? - Probably Hermione because stress is her middle name.How fancy was the ceremony? -Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - No one in particular, maybe those who did not approve of Draco marrying a muggle-born, and the other way around for Hermione. Those who don’t want them to be happy.

Sex:

Who is the one to instigate things? - Draco, definitely, but Hermione isn’t innocent either. How healthy is their sex life? -Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right nowHow kinky are they? -Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s headHow much cuddling/snuggling do they do? -No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - One or two max. Whenever I play Hermione I always just want one child for her, a boy, and I think that would work out well for her and Draco. Maybe a second child, possibly a girl.How many children will they adopt? - None, unless adopting a cat/dog counts (possibly once Crookshanks croaks)Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - The both of them, they equally share the responsibilities. Hermione had to teach Draco a couple times how to properly change a diaper until he got the hang of it, and used to the smell.Who is the stricter parent? - Hermione, we all know Draco was never one to follow the rules. I think he’d help direct loads of ridiculous antics with their kid to annoy Hermione in innocent ways. Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Hermione, ‘sucks the fun out of everything’ Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Draco, either Hermione would be out the door for work or sleeping in from reading until late.Who is the more loved parent? - They are both equally loved by their son / son & daughter.Who cried the most at graduation? - Hermione, but Draco wasn’t dry-eyed either. Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Draco, with those Ministry connections, but also he’d never abandon his child in times of trouble and will always fight or bail them out.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - A very equal job between the two, Hermione more than Draco because of all the cooking/household charms she learned from Mrs Weasley. I like to think Draco cooks to try and be romantic. He makes breakfast and coffee most of the time. Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Neither, I think they both enjoy food and are always eager to try new things, especially when they start travelling. Who does the grocery shopping? - They do it together, or whenever the other is out at work and they’re running low.How often do they bake desserts? - Hermione probably makes something every week or every other week. There’s always something sweet lying around to nibble on.Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - An equal medium, I think they try to keep things light during the week and indulge during the weekend or their days off.Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - DRACOWho is more likely to suggest going out? - Both, Draco suggests fancy wizarding restaurants, Hermione suggests muggle places she knows. Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - I like to think they’re both very well-rounded in cooking and keeping the area clean&safe. They could only burn down the house if distracted, maybe from reading, or by the other. 

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Both, they like a tidy living & sleeping spaceWho is really against chores? - Neither; Hermione would always teach Draco new charms to help clean their home. It’s fairly easy when magic is involved. Who cleans up after the pets? - Hermione because it is her cat, but Crooks took a quick liking to Draco. Sometimes he teases her that Crookshanks is his cat now. Sometimes he’s seen feeding the cat in the morning and chatting over coffee. Draco takes care of his owl, but Hermione would never histate to clean its cage every now and then. Sometimes he’s seen chatting with all three in the morning when Salazar isn’t out hunting. Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - NeitherWho stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Hermione, unless Draco’s parents are coming over, then the both of them, Draco more.Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Draco

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Hermione longer baths, Draco longer showers. Probably longer than normal because the other always decides to join.Who takes the dog out for a walk? - If they had a dog; probably a Labrador, Dalmatian, or (a ridiculously dramatic) Samoyed, they would walk him/her together at night after dinner, and take turns for the morning walks. How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Towards the beginning of living together, Hermione more than Draco was always eager to decorate for the holidays. She started off small but over the years went over the top, but not enough to be a distraction or obstruction. Eventually, Draco caught on and sometimes would have their home decorated as a surprise for Hermione when she got home from work.What are their goals for the relationship? - The obvious-- to be happy and healthy, they deserve it after the lives they’ve had. To set examples for the rest of the Wizarding World, that after the war people can change, that a strict pure-blood wizard was able to set his upbringing aside, realise what is right, and marry a muggle-born. Not that they openly speak about their relationship, but they’re not ashamed and don’t hide it. It is more to set an example for the people in their lives, especially those unhappy with their relationship.Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Hermione, easily. But she does enjoy waking up early.Who plays the most pranks? - Draco, just so he can mess with Hermione. She likes to get back at him eventually, which is always a surprise for him because he never expects it. 

[empress-of-snark]

Zoo Thoughts - “The Barrier”

AKA: “Your Fault” from Into the Woods, except 40 minutes long.

Seriously, I’ve had enough of the blame game. I hate how it’s become Jackson vs. Jamie at this point and everyone else has to pick sides. There’s also a Civil War reference here somewhere…

At first I thought Mitch’s decision to redirect all the power to the St. Louis beacon was stupid and irrational, but then Jackson started yelling at him and since I’ve had enough of Jackson yelling at people, I rushed to Mitch’s defense. Because it really was the smartest decision. The beacons (which look just like Pokemon Go gyms, btw) were placed in heavily-populated areas for maximum destruction and, as far as we know, no other country had a stronghold like the barrier that could’ve withstood that kind of attack. So really, this was probably their best option.

Now, whether or not it was smart to send Clementine away considering what happened to her/the baby/Logan…. well, that’s another story.

While we’re on the topic—Jackson, you said (and I quote): “I tried more than anyone to put Abigail down!” The lie detector determined that this was a LIE. Literally, you tried to save Abigail’s life on multiple occasions and locked Jamie up in her own damn plane for trying to kill her (for which you never apologized or even appeared to regret), so don’t you come into my house and say that you really tried to stop her because you didn’t.

Also, if you had told me a year ago that I would actually be genuinely sad to see Logan die??? I would’ve been offended. But here we are. Here we all are. R.I.P., Logan. In the end, you weren’t as much of a jerk as you could’ve been. (Look, I’m not saying Clem should name the baby after him since he died protecting them, I’m just saying she should at least consider it.)

Flashing back several episodes here for a slightly outdated point: I honestly don’t blame Jamie for accepting Logan’s help in raising Clementine, if only just for a few years. Yes, at the time I didn’t like him and didn’t want him anywhere near those girls, but from what it sounds like, Jamie didn’t have anyone else. And considering she was still suffering from PTSD, trying to raise the child of the man she loved (who just died), why wouldn’t she take all the help she can get??

And I like Uncle!Logan bonding with Clementine, okay? Sue me.

Anyway, back to the actual episode, sorry.

Speaking of Jamie, what did she even like… do? In this episode, I mean? Did she serve any purpose whatsoever? Like, I appreciate the support she was giving Mitch and all, but literally I don’t think she contributed to the plot at all aside from being a hand for him to hold, which is super annoying, tbh.

But I did like the support! I loved that long pause after she left before she just turned right around and was like “Actually?? I need to stay here and make sure you don’t do something stupid again!!” and Mitch is just like “Yeah, good call.”

Loved the Celebratory Hug, but…. I felt like the kiss might’ve been a little out-of-place. Don’t get me wrong, I always love seeing the OTP kiss! But, after all that happened in the last few episodes, it felt like they were just sweeping it all under the rug and pretending like everything’s fine when it’s really not. I appreciate that they’re putting aside their relationship problems to focus on saving the world and all, but I think they need to have some serious talks before jumping back into a relationship rn.

At least they’re both alive! And together! That’s rare for a season finale!

And even though I’m still royally pissed off at Jackson, I guess I’m also glad he ain’t dead.

(I know it’s a bit late to complain about this, but I really wish they had actually tried to make anyone look ten years older this season. Jamie looks a bit older with the haircut, and I understand Mitch possibly not aging much due to the tank, but Jackson still looks like 30 and definitely not old enough to be Sam/Conner’s father. They could’ve at least used a little makeup to age him.)

Things I Expected to See in this Episode but Didn’t:

   -Literally anything to do with the biodrive that’s still in Mitch’s brain. Is that whole death vs amnesia ultimatum ever gonna make a reappearance??

   -An explanation as to how Abigail was dead for an entire episode but then suddenly wasn’t anymore.

   -A freaking name for the baby, good lord, this is getting ridiculous.

   -Mitch or Jamie actually verbally admitting that they love each other (but again, they’ve still got to talk some things through so maybe it’s too soon for that).

   -ISAAC. I’m really sad that we haven’t gotten to see him in like four episodes. I know he’s okay, but I want to see his sunshine-y face!

Anyway, good finale overall!! Great (if slightly overdramatic) cliffhanger!

#RenewZoo

[thebvdguysog]

MODERN VERSE BELL AND CLARKE AND O AND MUR

so i don’t over flow everyone’s dash.

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME!

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

BELLAMY AND CLARKE 

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - forever? obvvv

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Not quickly at all, just slow and amazing 

How was their first kiss? - You know how amazing and happy it makes you feel when you look up at the night sky and  you can see every single star, shinning so bright? Like that 

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Bell

Who is the best man/men? - Fucking murphy 

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Probably octavia? 

Who did the most planning? - Clarke, octavia probably helped do the most 

Who stressed the most? - Clarke, Bellamy was calm the entire time. 

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Lmao ummmmm Echo! 

Sex:

Who is on top? - Clarke, bellamy loves it. 

Who is the one to instigate things? - BELLAMY but clarke too

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - 10 minutes? Maybe an hour if bellamy’s had a few drinks. 

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Bellamy does

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - Fuck maybe one or two? 

How many children will they adopt? - Maybe, 1? 

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Bellamy. 

Who is the stricter parent? - BELLAMY????!?!!?!?!

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - BELLAMY but he encourages safe dangerous stunts in the backyard. 

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Clarke 

Who is the more loved parent? - Both of them, probably clarke though honestly. 

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Both

Who cried the most at graduation? - Clarke, bellamy teared up 

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Clarke, bellamy would teach them a lesson.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - BELLAMY LOVES TO COOK

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Bellamy?? 

Who does the grocery shopping? - Clarke

How often do they bake desserts? - Rarely 

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Meat, at least bellamy is. 

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Bellamy

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Clarke

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - neither

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Clarke, bellamy hates cleaning. 

Who is really against chores? - Bellamy 

Who cleans up after the pets? - Ha, not bellamy 

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Bellamy 

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Clarke, bellamy moans about it 

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Bellamy and he gloated all damn day about it, “You guys should clean more, I found money.” 

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Both

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Both 

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Eh, sometimes 

What are their goals for the relationship? - They didn’t even agree to being in a relationship! 

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Clarke 

Who plays the most pranks? - B E L L AMY!! 

OCTAVIA AND MURPHY

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - A lifetime 

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Not quickly at all 

How was their first kiss? - Soft, tender, then silence 

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Murphy 

Who is the best man/men? - Bellamy? 

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Clarke 

Who did the most planning? - Octavia, Murphy wasn’t having it 

Who stressed the most? - Murphy 

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? -

Sex:

Who is on top? - Both 

Who is the one to instigate things? - BOTH 

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - First round, a couple minutes. Whose to say after that

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Murphy takes special attention in this area

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - Possibly one, if Octavia convinces murphy to have any 

How many children will they adopt? - None 

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Octavia 

Who is the stricter parent? - Both 

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Octavia

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Octavia 

Who is the more loved parent? - both!

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Octavia 

Who cried the most at graduation? - Octavia 

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Murphy 

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Murphy!! 

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Neither? 

Who does the grocery shopping? - Both!!!!

How often do they bake desserts? - every night? lmao 

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? -Both 

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Both! but most likely mur 

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Probably murphy, alone time without asking for it 

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Octavia 

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Murphy 

Who is really against chores? - Sometimes both 

Who cleans up after the pets? - Murphy 

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Murphy

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Neither 

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? -Octavia, murphy doesnt detail clean, he picks shit up off the flor. 

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Both, probably together. 

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Both, they run in the morning 

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Rarely 

What are their goals for the relationship? - Making it

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Murphy 

Who plays the most pranks? - BOTH 

[silver-haired-76-blog]

YOU KNOW THE SHIPPPPP

THE ULTIMATE SHIP MEME

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - you could say for eternity if they survive that long

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Fast, with an instinct, the rest is history

How was their first kiss? - Really rough, slightly angry, a lack gentle love

Wedding:

Who proposed? -

Who is the best man/men? -

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? -

Who did the most planning? -

Who stressed the most? - 

How fancy was the ceremony? - Is it possible for one of the husbands to officiate the wedding? Beyond any church sitting under the sky in lazy whispers that manage to piss off everyone in the general area?Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding *SNORT* | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Everyone that shall oppose them.

Sex:

Who is on top? - They switch, whoever ends up there.

Who is the one to instigate things? - Either or

How healthy is their sex life? - Much healthier than their standing among their kind.Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Jack’s a simple man, not usually into weird shit, he’ll be more adventurous if he’s in the mood though. He’ll do most thinks Gabe asks once, if just once.Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - This really doesn’t matter does it?

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Depends on what they’re going for but generally, yeah

How rough are they in bed? - Ha. Whatever they feel like, very rough the first few times though. All of them. All of these things.Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - A lot later in the relationship, almost always after sex once their relationship is solid.No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? -

How many children will they adopt? -

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? -

Who is the stricter parent? -

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? -

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? -

Who is the more loved parent? -

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings?

Who cried the most at graduation? -

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? -

Their children are small shadow blobs and plant life that grows under Jack’s feet.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Jack because he actually has to eat food. 

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Listen Gabriel probably will only have the finest souls 

Who does the grocery shopping? - a demon and angel walking into the super market sounds like a great joke. Jack probably

How often do they bake desserts? - Little.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Both

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? -

Who is more likely to suggest going out? -

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? -

Chores:

Who cleans the room? -

Who is really against chores? -

Who cleans up after the pets? -

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? -

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Jack, he’s gotta rune up the place to hide Gabriel’s scent.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? -

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Depends if they���re sharing  Jack usually.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? -

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Halloween is their favorite holiday and they are gonna be so spooky omg.

What are their goals for the relationship? - To actually survive everyone that doesn’t like the relationship.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Both of them just let them fucking rest.

Who plays the most pranks? - Gabriel that piece of shit