#otherwise the specific brand of Madness that you get from not seeing the ocean for too long is going to get me

[densewentz]

5, 14, 20 for the asks!

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:

Currently its been art (commissions especially), Dead Boy Detectives (catwin my beloved) and How goddamn hot it is and how much I need summer to be over already 😩

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?

Merpersonnnnnnnnnn!! There's no question if I could trade my stupid legs right now I'd be dodging fishing nets in the big blue in a heartbeat. Now whether I'd want to be a reef, open ocean, or abyssal deep type of sea creature, who knows. Or some kind of idk, harbor seal selkie wedging myself in kelp to take naps and flopping around on warm rocks.

20: Do you like space or the ocean more?

This probably seems a little obvious given my answer about the merperson thing but, ocean all the way. a) because its just as mysterious but without sending me into a deep existential spiral if I think too hard about it and b) because I can physically experience it in a way that isn't possible with greater space yet. Also bc fish 🐠

Thank you for the ask!!

[officialgritty]

How I Would Humble NHL Players

An essay written by bigboigritty. 

I would humble hockey players the only way I know how to, by sending them to Australia. Let’s suppose that they have decided to hold the All Star game over here (forget about it’s usual date) (forget that some players I have listed below might not be invited) (and while you're at it, please forget that Australia’s rinks are Not Good).

I think that they would suffer but in an entertaining way so it’s fine. 

First of all, their biggest concern is getting sunburnt. It would effect all of their dumb asses but I’m particularly worried about Pierre-Luc Dubois and Mitch Marner. Boys are practically translucent. Vince Dunn would be fine, he’d probably wear a shirt most of the time which is a very smart decision. 

You may wonder why I didn’t mention Nolan Patrick because I am a certified slut for him, well I don't think he would have a problem. He would spend most of the time inside and when he joins the others, I think his Virgo ass would reapply sunscreen. Maybe he would burn slightly but I don't think it'd be enough to make him uncomfortable. 

Another thing that I think they will gain from this experience is a higher pain tolerance. Now you’re probably thinking, “Zoe they are NHL players so they can handle pain.” Wrong.

Real pain is running barefoot on cement at theme parks while you race to get to the next ride. Also getting into the car and having to avoid touching every piece of metal to not get branded like a cow. Or better yet, when the heat gets so bad that there’s a black out because everyone has their air conditioning turned on.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that other countries have scary animals but I would pay to see them panic over ours. Crocodiles here can grow up to 5.2 metres / 17 feet. We have a box jellyfish season where it’s advised to avoid swimming or wear wetsuits for coverage. Funnel web spiders can survive underwater for hours by trapping air bubbles around their skin. We have several of the worlds deadliest snakes present across the country. 

Listen, I don't want anyone to get injured but the constant fear that they would have when doing anything would be enough to make me happy.

My biggest question is who would survive in the shady areas, who would survive the eshays?

Under no circumstances can you look them in the eyes or cross their path. They are not to be feared individually but in groups caution is advised. I think the players would attempt to assert dominance and that is simply not an option. You are better off to ignore the eshay.

Nolan would have no issues here if im being honest. He is big and I don't think they’d find it worth it to fuck with him. But you know who they would target? Matthew Tkachuk. “Where are you going pretty boy?” “Oi braa did we hurt your feelings ya pussy cunt?” They would make fun of his hair in particular. 

Travis Konecny would be an eshay. I don't think I need to make further comment. (So would Louis Tomlinson but I am not a 1D account and I will continue to repeat that until it’s true.)

I would also give them a few iconic tasks to get the true Australian experience. Activities for the ‘vacation’ include triathlon events, beach flags, bush walking and climbing the harbour bridge. They could attend a cricket match but they tend to like golf so unfortunately they would probably enjoy this :(

AFL is an extremely popular sport here and I think they would loose their shit when they learn the rules of this game. No protective equipment is used other than mouthguards, that's it. That’s all you get. And jumping onto other players for leverage is encouraged. I would thoroughly enjoy the fights that would break out because of this.

Another task would be to use a map to make their way to a servo for a slurpee. The catch is that they will be required to pass through multiple alleyways. Also, the season is Spring, it’s swooping season mother fuckers. Let’s see how brave you are when birds chase you down the block. Personally I don’t think any of them would pass this test, maybe McDavid because the birds may not be able to detect a heartbeat.

Australian food would disgust them, I just know it. Things that they would need to try are a Bunnings sausage sanga, fairy bread, lamingtons, baked beans on toast, Milo and Vegemite. Because I’m me I would give them no butter with their Vegemite. 

An after thought I had was money so I’m editing this to include it. Everything here is EXPENSIVE so they would need to learn how to budget. Upon doing research, Canadians would be fine but the Americans will be mad.

1000 CAD = 1019 AUD

1000 USD = 1297 AUD

Another after thought was the fact that they won’t be able to drive (or at least drive well) here. We drive on the left and not the right, same goes for walking paths too. I can sense a lot of them bumping into people.

Where I think players would live based on vibes alone:

Carter Hart and Vince Dunn: North Shore Beaches, NSW. Daddy’s money. Carter probably did Nippers whereas Vince was a skater boy. 

Travis Konecny: Darwin, NT. Would 100% live there and enjoy it. He would try to conduct crocodile tours but gets assigned to feeding the baby crocs and doing shows for little kids. 

Tyson Barrie: Perisher, NSW. One of the only ski resorts we have to offer, major friendly mountain man energy.

Nolan Patrick: Byron Bay, NSW. @antoineroussel enlightened me, steering away from my original thought of Katoomba, NSW. Byron Bay is a magnet for hippies and links rainforest to the ocean. Chris Hemsworth and his family also live there.

William Nylander: Perth, WA. I don’t know much about Perth other than they wouldn’t shut up about partying while the other states had to quarantine. For some reason, I also associate Perth with Tik Tok. 

Sidney Crosby and Connor McDavid: Melbourne CBD, VIC. These two would live in the same apartment building in the city, Connor one level above Sidney. It’s the most boring looking block of them all and Crosby would send in complaints to the landlord about McDavid pacing during the night.

Tyler Seguin: Surfers Paradise, QLD. Party central, not many people are actually from this area and he would be sure to tell absolutely everyone that he was. I also think he would get a Meter Maid tattoo, specifically on his leg. Has definitely slept on the beach before because he couldn’t find his way home.

Jamie Benn: Hobart, TAS. Tasmania is usually forgotten about. Another one with mountain man energy except he is more creepy than friendly.

Mitch Marner: Fitzroy, VIC. @antoineroussel is responsible for this one too. Hipster central, makes you question how the hell someone so young can have so much money. Would chug $45 wine and not blink an eye.

(honourable mentions include = Sammy Blais: Hobart, Tas. Once again no comment on Tasmania. TJ Oshie: Cairns, QLD. Would do reef tours. Haydn Fleury: Western Sydney, NSW. Haydn would 100% own a ute or a white holden commodore and you can’t tell me otherwise. Roman Josi: Adelaide, SA. Small town history teacher vibes.)

I have attached a handy map for those who may need it.

In conclusion, the NHL should send their players over here to teach them some manners and while they’re at it, management should bring themselves too. Nolan Patrick could pass as an Australian if he built up a tan. (So does Nylander in this picture but we won’t talk about that.) Come over anytime baby, I’m free. 

Glossary

Servo - A service station, also known as a petrol or gas station. Example: 7/11

Theme park - An amusement park. Can be said in reference to both normal parks and water parks and usually means those in QLD. Example: Six Flags

Swooping season - August to October in Australia. When birds attack and chase humans and / or pets for getting close to their babies. Magpies are notoriously bad for this. 

Bunnings sausage sanga - A cheap feed / meal found at the front of a hardware and gardening store called Bunnings. Made up of white bread, sausage, onion and your choice of sauce.

Fairy bread - White bread with margarine and topped with 100s and 1000s / sprinkles. 

Meter Maids - Women who work along the beach dressed in gold bikinis. They top up parking meters to save tourists from getting fined and will often stop for photos. 

Nippers - Surf lifesaving programs carried out for children between 5 and 14. 

Ute - A pick up truck.

Eshay - A person who partakes in drug use, graffiti, listens to EDM and targets victims in groups. Below is the typical style of an eshay. 

Tagging a few friends so this doesn’t completely flop but feel free to ignore if it isn't your thing. I won’t be offended lmao

@scheifefe @ifiwasshawnmendesidslapmyself @d00dlebob @bowenbyram @kempe @prettyboyroope @quintonsbyfield @travisgermy @pitoftrash @kspitehockey @ballsakic @canadianheaters @bricksatlandyswindow @powerblais @brokeninsidebutnobodyknows @jamiedrysdales

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #362

(this is actually from yesterday but i never posted it and now i don’t feel like updating the answers, so yeah)

Have you ever been cheated on? No. Who’s car were you last in? My mom's. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? It's been pierced multiple times, but each time the hole closed after my piercings had to be taken out at the psych hospital. The final time though, it closed because the damn stud fell out in my sleep for the billionth time, I couldn't find it, and I let it close out of annoyance. Have your parents ever smoked pot? My dad has. Do you tend to make relationships complicated? I mean, I don't think so. I hope not. Are you good at giving directions? NO. Like, I can't. I would accidentally lead you to the middle of the ocean. Would your mom care if she found condoms in your room? She'd be confused as fuck because I live with her so she knows for sure I'm not seeing anyone. Did you speak to your father today? No. Did you kiss someone before you were sixteen? No, it was actually a month after turning 16. Could you go a day without eating? Nooo. I've said before and I'll say it again, I don't deal with abdominal pain well, so yeah. Are your nails always painted? They never are. Have you ever met any bands/band members before? No. What color is your hair? Boring 'ole brown. .-. Your best friend needed somewhere to stay, could they live with you? She absolutely could. I know Mom would welcome her without hesitation. Have you danced in the rain? No. When you said something naughty when you were little, did your parents wash out your tongue with soap? No, but it was threatened. What do you think of spanking little children when they do something wrong? Okay or not? No, it is absolutely not okay. You do not teach children through fear, ever, nor do you show children that it is ever okay to hit people when you're upset. Who was the last male you hung out with? Uhhh, I think Girt? I haven't truly hung out with a guy in a long time. Who is your favorite person to text? Sara. Who did you last take a picture with? My sister. What’s your favorite brand of jeans? I don't have one. Which show is better: Spongebob or The Fairly Odd Parents? The latter. Both can be funny, but Cosmo cracks me up. Has anyone ever told you that you looked like someone else? I actually think the only time I was ever compared to someone else (make-believe, at that) was when I dressed up for Halloween one year and a friend told me I looked like Eileen Galvin from Silent Hill 4: The Room. Do you enjoy the sound of crickets at night and birds in the morning? Yesssss. Who is the most overrated singer? Idk, I don't even know who's "in" right now. What is your favourite planet? Saturn. Do you have any pets that you had since you were born? No. Do you own anything that you had when you were a baby? Yes, stored away. Do you enjoy Mario games? Mario Kart is fun, but otherwise I'm not a massive fan. What’s your favorite online game? World of Warcraft. Have you ever been hit with a ball in gym class? I think so. I was always terrified of the days we got to play dodgeball or whatever, like that shit hurts. Do you ever turn your cell phone off? No. Who was last to cook for you? My ma. Do you check your texts right away when you receive them? Usually. Who is your most trusted person? My mom, probably. How late did you stay up last night? God, I don't even know. Last night was my sleep study, and I was so uncomfortable in that bed that I slept maybe only an hour or two. Hell, or less. I also couldn't sleep on my stomach, which really didn't help because that's always how I sleep. I'm exhausted now and have such a headache. When/where are you most likely to sing? In the car, I guess. I very rarely sing anywhere. Would you ever wish to explore a cave? FUCK YES. You see the person you fell hardest for. What do you do? Panic like a motherfucker internally, avoid eye contact, and try to evade him (not like he'd actually pursue me) without being too obvious. Have you been/are you depressed? Both. Are your pop-ups blocked on your computer? Yes. Have you ever ridden in a car with someone who was high? Yes, because I was afraid to tell her I didn't want. Thank fuck we got home safe. I was absolutely, positively terrified we'd be pulled over. Who is the best hugger you know? Ha, actually the person I just mentioned. Have you ever had to be put to sleep for an operation? Yes. Does anybody have any proof of stupid things you have done? Oh, Facebook comments... Why did you text the last person in your inbox? I was replying to my mom. Have you ever been able to do a split? No. Did you ever date the last person you kissed? Yes. Are you intimidated by the last person you know talked badly about you? She doesn't "intimidate" me, no. She just gets on my last goddamn nerve every time she opens her mouth. Have you ever cried in school? Yes. Last person of the opposite sex you screamed at? I've never screamed at a guy because I'm afraid of them. I've sobbed at Jason, so like my voice was raised, but it definitely wasn't screaming. Do you have any weird sleep habits? Well, speaking of screaming, my nightmares have me shrieking in the middle of most nights. I also talk in my sleep like, a lot. Do you consider yourself an emotional person? Very. When was the last time you had a headache? This morning, I'm sure because of how shitty I slept. When was the last time you encountered a puppy? Prepare for a rant... We have one right now, even though our landlord told us specifically no puppies because of all the housetraining they require. My mom has been wanting a dog, and Tobey finally agreed to it, and she's been looking for a while. So my sister Ashley randomly shows up with a stray puppy a friend was keeping, terrified and LOADED with ticks, and she's reminding Mom and I why we DON'T WANT A PUPPY. She's peeing everywhere BUT outside (specifically on a stupid fucking expensive carpet that Tobey will have a cow over just ONE stain), is terrorizing my cat, and has an overwhelming amount of energy. Ashley specifically told me that if Mom doesn't let Ash know, I needed to tell her if the puppy was stressing Mom out, "because this isn't supposed to be a stressful experience for her." Well, she's been sobbing again and again and I literally just came back mid-question from comforting her because she broke down so hard she could barely breathe because now she had diarrhea on the fucking carpet. Ashley's all bitchy now about it for no apparent or even remotely valid reason, and by God do I want to cuss her the fuck out over this bull she brought on. Safe to say we're not keeping the dog, but not quickly enough. When Mom hurts, I hurt, and I am so goddamn furious. Is there anything that happened a long time ago that you still laugh about? Yeah, a number of things. Do you ever try to interpret your dreams? No, given I don't believe most have any meaning. It's brain word vomit, lol. What was the last thing you bought impulsively? I don't have the income for impulse purchases. When I get money, what I'm after is well-planned. How do you feel about singing songs out loud in front of other people? I don't, usually. I'm very self-conscious about it. When was the last time you were feeling really, really nervous? That nervous, I'm unsure. I've been nervous, sure, but I haven't had a massive anxiety episode in a while. If you’re no longer in school, what is something you miss about it? If you’re still in school, what’s something you think you’re going to miss about it? I miss feeling productive and like I was going at least somewhere. Do you use your turn signals when you’re driving? Yes; I hate when people don't. How exactly are you feeling right now? Mad at my sister. Have you ever had to board up your windows because of a hurricane? No. Do you tell anyone to chew with their mouths closed? No, to avoid "confrontation" that is too negligible to even quality as conflict. I'm just a lil bitch when it comes to stuff like this. Have you ever ordered pizza and sent it to someone else’s house? No. What was the first thing you drank when you woke up this morning? My nurse or whatever her position is (I don't mean that dismissively, I genuinely don't know her title) brought me some orange juice. Do you think stretch marks from having a baby are ugly or badges of honor? Oh my god, fuck off. Anyone who can carry a child for nine months and then endure what I assume is the worst pain (usually) survivable has every ounce of my goddamn respect. The natural result of making room for a like 6+ lb. human being is not "ugly." It's a part of life and to me shows an incredible amount of bravery and love to be willing to go through something I could absolutely never. Ever done a keg stand? Haha, no. My dizzy ass will pass. Who is the last person you lent money to? My mom. Do you share clothing with anyone? Mom and I will share bras or pants sometimes. Have you ever visited anyone in a rehab? No. Was the last thing you drank a Coke or Pepsi product? No, I have lemonade right now. Honestly, do you think that you’re going to be an overprotective parent? IF I wanted to be a parent, I feel like I definitely would be. Not like... overbearing, but still extremely protective in cases I think it's called for. What was the last kind of chips you ate? Veggie chips yesterday, actually. They're honestly not that good, but it's a doable snack with salsa. What is one thing that you really wish you could understand, but don’t? Economics. I dread taking care of my own money because idk what the fuck to do with taxes and such. What is the last thing you charged? My phone. Have you ever held a snake? I've held plenty of snakes, I love them.

[eatingthem-moved]

Get to know the blogger!

Tagged by @sunsreign​ thank u hun !! I’m tagging UMMM @onsand​ @denbroughsguilt​ @crowncd​ @cometogethcr​ and everyone else ! i just tagged the people who’ve shown up in my notifs recently lol

FIRST NAME My name off tumblr is Calee ! (said like kay-lee) i really don’t mind if you call my by my first name or by my pen name, either works! i just don’t post my first name anywhere on my blog really lol

STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF strange?? hmmm i have a ton of stuffed animals for an 18 y/o probably... like a ton. and i still buy them cause i love them ;m;

TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON Hair !! also arms... (like the biceps) aaaaand lips, probably 

A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF chili verde smothered burritos !! specifically the ones from my favorite restaurant ohmygod they’re soooooo good. and their chips and salsa too

A FOOD YOU HATE TOMATOES R GROSS

GUILTY PLEASURE fuuuuck. buying stuff, probably. like makeup and video games and books and movies and all that good stuff.

WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN t shirt and pj pants. shorts if it’s in the summer, and a sweater in winter.

SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS welp im in a serious relationship rn but if i was single i’d still prefer a serious one !

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE askjdlkasjdlsj not getting back with my ex when we initially broke up, probably. he’s GROSS

ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON verbally i am ! i always tell my friends i love them and that i enjoy talking to them in stuff. physically i don’t really like cuddling or kissing my bf unless we’re in private

A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN The Family Man starring Nicholas Cage aslkdjslakjdlskja LISTEN. i loooove this movie and if u haven’t seen it i totes recommend that you do!!! it’s honestly one of his bests and it makes me cry every time it. ALSO John Carpenter’s The Thing !!!!! i grew up watching that movie and it’s one of my favorites 

FAVORITE BOOK Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, and also Misery by Stephen King! 

YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE A COW I LOVE COWS. or a big cat like a tiger. OR a raccoon. could go either way.

TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL] HA. hannibal/will and uhhhh. that’s. probably. it. sladjslakjd listen i haven’t really watched a show since hannibal has ended lol. but! more ships with hannibal include him and poppy with @gardenshe <33 hannibal/matthew brown. um. idk more ppl should ship with me tho <.<

PIE OR CAKE CAKE. with some sort of mousse pls. or a ton of whipped cream!

FAVORITE SCENT ooh uhh. apples and cinnamon maybe?? ooh or baking bread

CELEBRITY CRUSH *SLAMS FIST* kurt russell all the way, dude. i LOVE him, i would marry him in a heartbeat. also dean martin and james franco. AND MILA KUNIS

IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO So, I live in Utah, United States BUT i was actually born in Oregon, United States and just UGH. i love it there so much. it’s always so rainy and it’s close to the ocean and the trees and flowers are so beautiful. it feels like im home when im there !! but besides that, i’d go to canada to see my totally blood brothers jason and quinton @cometogethcr <33

INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT Ah funny enough im an introvert off of tumblr lol. im.. really awkward off the keyboard. and i feel like i’ve gotten even shyer and more insecure the older i get, which is funny because from the way it sounds it seems like that’s usually the opposite circumstance?? idk. hopefully i don’t weird u guys out on here tho lol

DO YOU SCARE EASILY yea lol i can get a little jumpy but i love scary movies still! but sometimes my bf scares me from around the corner and i get super mad at him lmao

IPHONE OR ANDROID i’ve got me an iphone but i wish i had an android ;m; i’d love me one of those brand new samsung phones.... (oh god now im going to be spammed with ads)

DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES i do!! i play minecraft a ton (u should ask me to play with u sometime <.<) but i also like story games! i grew up playing the sly cooper franchise ! (i made a blog for sly cooper one actually!) but i also really really like the evil within, outlast, dishonored, and a ton of indie games on steam

DREAM JOB like uhh, how dreamy we talkin’?? my ULTIMATE dream job would probably be a movie director, but that’s probably not going to happen lol. otherwise, im going for a criminal justice degree, so my dream job pertaining to that would either be a homicide detective or a crime historian !

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS ahhh. move to oregon with my mom, bf, and my pets by the ocean. then buy a ton of movies to add to my dvd collection. and video games. and a nice car. umm. go to a beautiful restaurant! then i dunno after that lol 

FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE aw jeez alksdlakjd ummm. im not. a huge fan of alana from hannibal. idk i don’t think her character is written very well (but im still happy to write with an alana blog!) also light from death note. ohhhhh god. i hated him SO MUCH ALKSDLSAJD

FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER pfft. supernatural, doctor who, sherlock. the werks. probably more but i can’t think of any

[seewattsididthere]

I broke my leg; it didn’t break me. Your personal guide to taking an injury and making the best of it.

My Story:

Let’s set the scene.

I’m coming back from a major nerve damage injury, caused by a major lung surgery, which happened because one day my lung spontaneously decided it was done with staying inflated. I just got a brand new part-time job, my business’ website is getting more hits than ever, I just got to go on an amazing cruise with one of my besties, I just celebrated one year of living on my own terms, and even just launched my first blog post. Life is good. Scratch that — life is great.

I have been getting better and better at climbing. I’m in the best shape of my life. In fact, today’s the day I’m about to graduate from physical therapy. It’s a Monday morning, so I go to the gym. I climb better than I’ve ever climbed in my life. I even conquered my fear of standing up and just grabbing the wall. I feel invincible.

There’s one route that I haven’t been able to get up the past few times I’ve tried. I know it will be gone soon; they rotate the routes every couple of weeks. This could be my last chance to give it a try. I’m tired, my forearms feel like they’re going to burst out of my skin, but, I get some chalk on my hands and decide this will be my last one.

I start out and one of my favorite songs comes on, I push past the part I usually can’t get. I’m feeling great. I can do this. I’m 10 ft up now. Now I’m 15 ft up. I’m going fast. I’m almost through with it. I’m 20 ft up now. All I have to do is stand up and grab the top.

 Then it happened.

As I stand up and reach, my foot slips. I’m falling forward, my face is about to hit the wall. I start trying to rotate to my back. I remember what that one guy said about how I’m going to break my arms if I keep bracing them back to catch myself, I decide I’m not going to put my arms back. I’m still not on my back yet, but the ground is coming up so fast. I land on both feet, and hear nothing but a crack. Or was it a pop? I grab my leg and roll on my back.

After a visit with my primary doctor, my physical therapist, and getting an MRI, I find out that my tibia is broken, and my meniscus is torn.

 Sound familiar? Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t.

 Everyone’s story is different.

The likelihood of you and I having the same injury story is incredibly small. But, stick with me — we probably went through many similar emotional states, and medical appointments. Or maybe you’re not injured at all, but are reading this because you’re one of my friends, or family members, or subscribers. Or maybe you’re reading this because you want to prepare yourself to be able to handle a situation like this should one ever rear its head in the future.

Truth is: it doesn’t matter why you’re reading this, my goal is to help you put life in perspective, and learn to appreciate even the smallest things that you wouldn’t otherwise notice.

 So this thing happened, and it hurts, what now?

 It’s okay to freak out if…

It’s okay to freak out if you don’t put yourself at risk of further injury OR ruin anyone else’s day. Injuries (both emotional and physical) can be some of the most frustrating events to ever happen to us. It’s normal, and even natural to be frustrated. What’s not okay, is making your frustration ruin someone else’s day.

So what are some things you can do to take the frustration out? My preferred method is slamming my fists against my bed and screaming into a pillow until I’m out of energy to panic, but if that’s not your thing, that’s okay too. Here are some ideas for how to freak out the right way:

Write down how you feel.

Take a shower and let yourself cry.

Schedule a therapy appointment (Note: I’m a huge proponent of the idea that everyone needs to go to therapy, even if they don’t think they have any issues)

Tear up sheets of old newspapers/ magazines/ etc that you were going to recycle anyways

Draw, paint, cook, or create something.

Go work out (if this is an emotional and not a physical injury)

Now that we got that out of the way, and you don’t have energy left to panic, we can shift our focus.

 No matter what happens to you, there’s more than just one way to see it.

This is all about perspective. I recognized that if I just stayed mad about it all, I wouldn’t get anything done, and then I’d be in a bad mood and injured. Something I did was create a table. In the first column, I wrote down every reason this sucked, wasn’t fair, etc. In the second column, I wrote down what could have happened that would have been worse. Lastly, in the final column, I addressed why I wouldn’t want this to happen again, but I appreciated how this could be an opportunity for me.

Click here for a free printable version of the table that gives you what I wrote and a blank copy for your personal use!

Another exercise that I have found incredibly helpful to get rid of that complaining voice in the back of my head, is to prove it wrong and question what it’s saying. For example:

Turn… “This never happens to anyone, and no one will understand. “ Into… Has this REALLY never happened in all of human existence to anyone ever? Are there truly no other people on this planet who could possibly identify with you?

Turn… “All anyone is ever going to see is my wheelchair/ crutches/ cast/ scars.” Into… Is that really all that’s going to go into their pupils? Are they never going to look you in the eyes? Or see your awesome hair? Or admire your smile? If that’s all they see, do you really want to be friends with them? Or care what they think?

Turn… “Everyone is going to look at me with pity or disapproval.” Into… Are you sure they’re not looking at you in admiration? You’re pushing through a big obstacle, do you think it’s possible that they admire your strength, or attitude, or persistance? Have you ever disapproved of someone you’ve never met because they were injured?

This list could go on forever.

The point is, most of the things we’re freaking out about aren’t even true. Remind yourself daily that you are pushing through something tough, and that you’re doing the best you can (Note: Make sure that you are ACTUALLY doing the best you know you are capable of). If the injury was your fault, forgive yourself. But don’t let you trick yourself into believing something that isn’t valid — that’s the surest way to stay where you are.

 Interacting with the people you love.

Telling the people you’re closest to about what happened is often one of the hardest parts, especially if you want to avoid stressing them out. These are the people that are going to want you to give them the most information, and they’ll definitely have the most questions.

My advice:

In a situation where you need to be hospitalized ASAP, tell them immediately, and sign the appropriate forms so that they can ask the hospital staff questions and get answers.

This makes it a professional’s job to accurately relay the information.

In situations like these, the less energy you put into being worried about other people, the more energy you can put into healing yourself, which will benefit the people you were worried about being worried more than your worry will. (tongue twister, right?)  

In a situation where you are going to go to doctor’s offices, getting scans, or waiting for test results, gather as much information as you can and make sure you’ve calmed down enough to tell them.

If you can say everything with a calm demeanor, state the facts, and point out the positive aspects, the people who care about you will usually follow your lead.

If you’ve decided on a course of action, tell them before they get a chance to talk you out of it. Say you have firmly made a decision, and ask that they respect it and support you. Period.  

It’s important to not have panicked people around you when you’re dealing with these types of things. If necessary, just say it plain and simple, “What I need right now is support, not stress.”

 You’d be amazed at the things you can ask of people, in which they will happily provide.

When it comes to people offering to help, or using the phrase “If you need anything, let me know,” most of the time we see this as accepting pity for ourselves, and never actually ask for anything out of pride.

I’m going to tell you right now: pride in who you are and who you’re becoming is great; pride that’s based in fear of how other people will see you is not. You have people who love and care for you, and are genuinely asking to make your life easier on your terms. Why in heaven’s name wouldn’t you let them help you?! Here’s a little known secret: when people offer to help you, they are the ones who truly benefit, because giving is contagious, and releases happy hormones. Allow them to help you, shower them in gratitude and appreciation, and you both win.

 Unforeseen circumstances can yield unforeseen creativity.

Throughout history, we can find so many examples of this. There’s a problem, a mountain range, a river, an ocean, a roadblock, etc. and somehow, someway, someone eventually finds a creative way to get where they want to get anyways.

How is this relevant to you? Well, it’s likely that with whatever limitations your injury brings, there’s a way to get around it, but only if you’re proactive and creative. Before you go to see a doctor and get a prognosis or diagnosis, think about the things in your life that are important for you to do. This could be taking your dog on walks, or being outside, or playing with your kid, etc. Really think about these. When you’re in a room with the doc, ask them specifically if you will be able to do these things, you’ll probably get a yes or no answer. If it’s no, then ask why, and get the specifics about it. The WHY is the problem here.

Then, get creative solving the why-problem. So if you can’t take your dog on a walk because you can’t put weight on your knee, the problem is “you can’t put weight on your knee.” Then get creative. Would it be possible for you to get a wheelchair temporarily? Are there programs that lend out wheelchairs? Could you get on that list? The point is, your doctor is going to tell you to do what they’ve been trained to tell you to do. But, if you talk to them about the why, and come up with a solution that addresses their concerns, then maybe instead of being bedridden for weeks, you can actually get to live your life too. I mean, it’s worth a shot, right? One of the best tricks to staying positive, and feeling good when it feels like everything is falling down around you, is winning these little battles over the things in life that are important to you.

 It’s ultimately your choice.

This is and has been the hardest thing for me to accept in my life, but after I did, the way I saw the world totally changed.

You get to choose how you feel, and what you do. Sure, it’s the pharmacy’s fault that they told you your prescription was ready when it wasn’t, but you’re reaction is your choice. Sure, you fell off a climbing wall just as everything was shaping up, but you get to choose how you react. Sure, that guy shouldn’t have cut you off and slammed on his breaks in rush hour traffic, but you get to choose how you react.

 So if you want to stay upset, injured, and be the victim of circumstance, then be my guest. Or you can choose to believe that everyone is doing the best they can do with the awareness that they have, and maybe you’ll realize that everyone isn’t out to get you. I’m going to encourage you to accept that this injury happened, and choose not to let it define you. You can choose to find the joy, or you can choose to focus on the pain. You can choose to do the exercises I’ve provided, or you can choose not to. You can deal with this gracefully, or you can be miserable. But, in the end, the choice is yours.

 Sincerely, Taylor