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#others and i dont know how to bridge that i don't know how to stop feeling so isolated and unwanted !!!!!! im trying so hard
toastsnaffler · 2 months
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was gonna say smth else but this turned into a vent sorry everyone just ignore. typical weekend post on this blog u know how it is here we go👍
#wild ik so many ppl getting married meanwhile im over here struggling to convince myself my friends even care abt me or want me around#pathetic to admit but i cant even fantasise abt someone loving me bc im too insecure n emotionally unstable#my mind just shoots the idea down like whoa. unrealistic. ur incapable of expressing or receiving affection in any way that matters#no matter how badly u want to... and even if someone did well u wouldnt believe them most of the time#gotta get out of the fucking labyrinth first i couldnt inflict this shit on anyone i cared abt#but it makes me so desperately sad sometimes i dont know how im ever going to get out of this ive been trying for years and years#and im a little better at it snd i dont feel like this all of the time i know it just comes around and itll pass again#but im tired of being in so much emotional pain so frequently. and shouldering it so alone. theres such a disconnect between myself and#others and i dont know how to bridge that i don't know how to stop feeling so isolated and unwanted !!!!!! im trying so hard#it doesnt even bother me w relative strangers in my life like i dont get insecure at all around them i like meeting new ppl#bc theres like. no expectations i guess. like ik they dont care abt me personally and idk them well enough to do that either#and its fun but it doesnt satisfy needs that i have like i need to feel close + connected to ppl i need to care abt them + feel cared for#but as soon as i do start to care abt ppl it gets all tangled and i end up getting rly badly hurt over and over. thru no fault but my own#bc im constantly alienating myself and bc i struggle so much w shit like physical affection which is frustratingly rly critical for me!!!!#it wouldnt fucking matter if i didnt like or want affection ik some ppl are fine without i wish it worked like that for me#but nope instead i have to be constantly messed up over my complete fucking inability to express myself in any form#and ik it makes everyone around me so uncomfortable so it just becomes self reinforcing and eventually they drift and leave me behind#and i just do that over and over and over and every time ill tell myself ill do better ill try harder and itll get easier and someone will#and it happens again and right now im at the stage where the abandonment fear is starting to kick in which is awful n paralysing#and usually a precursor to actually being abandoned ehich is always my own fault bc i start behaving so erratically out of fear or defense#its self fulfilling and im trying. im trying so hard not to let it overwhelm me again and not to start acting out and freaking ppl out#and im coping with it okay i think but just hurts me a lot its all internal my rejection sensitivity is gradually ticking up and up#and argh!!!!!!!!! and some days im okay and some days its like this and i dont know what todo when its like this im so tired and in pain#its not even that bad today tbf. once im done typing this to get it out ill be able to do smth else and distract mysrlf for a bit#and then calling friends later too so exposure therapy innit. but itll be fun and i love them but i will probably also feel very bad after#or even possibly during but thats okay ill still manage fine im not going to let it interfere i dont want it controlling my fucking life#i am going to have a nice time and be okay despite it all. even if i do have to fucking battle this every day forever#and even if it stops me living my life to the extent i want and feeling as ok as i want i just have to come to terms with and be ok w it#and im not going to be!!! a fucking asshole abt it!!! i dont want to hurt anyone else thats the most important thing no matter how i feel#thr rest is all secondary and ik i cant help a few little bumps here and there but trying hardest to keep it separate its not negotiable
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sleepymccoy · 27 days
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Mcspirk dynamic where Jim and Bones are like a normal human workplace couple. They've got their boundaries and needs figured out, but they're plainly dating and will kiss on the bridge if it's appropriate.
Jim and Spock are hyper romantic off duty and completely professional on shift. Like, "you completed that report for me, right, Mr Spock?" "Yessir" "good, I think that's the day" "I agree, sir." "You got plans, baby?" "I have the evening set aside you for, Jim"
And then Spock and Bones are a MESS. Bones had the boundaries talk way too early so he's got it in his head that Spock cannot love him, will not show affection, is unwilling to be acknowledged as a partner. And Spock is just quite good at giving what he gets and is perfectly happy to love Bones quietly. So Bones is like drunkenly explaining the situation to Scotty one night like "so they're in love, but Jim's fooling himself cos Vulcans dont love, but thats okay he doesn't seem to mind and Jim and I love each other so that's lovely, and I love Spock but HE'S not in love with ME cos Vulcans do it different. You know, different heart. We still get along and fuck a lot, you know" and Scotty's just there like... "Are you sure? I see how he looks at you"
Anyway all that's to say I'd love to see the blow up when Jim and Spock figure out what Bones is living with. Honestly I don't think it would be very cute, I think Jim would shout a bit, Bones would get very mean and personal w Spock and have to apologise, and poor Spock doesn't want to have to actually say the words. So he doesn't and it all carries on far longer than necessary
I can just imagine Bones storming out of whoever's quarters (funniest if they're his own tho) and going "I am being CULTURALLY RESPECTFUL stop acting like I'm a DUMBASS! He doesn't love anyone, it'd fry his mathematical little brain cells!" And Spock's just there like... "...fucking hell, doctor."
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lyvhie · 6 months
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i really enjoyed your first fic😭 can you write a smut about renjun? i dont have an exact topic in mind
reassurance | hrj
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boyfriend!renjun x gn!reader (18+ mdni)
summary: what do you mean he's jealous?
cw: smut, oral (m receiving), petnames.
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"no way..." you raise your eyebrows in surprise. "you are actually jealous. like, totally jealous."
renjun pinches the bridge of his nose as he heard your words, letting a long, heavy sigh escape his lips. "i'm not jealous," his voice calm as always, although he couldn't fool you.
a little smirk creeps on your face as you get closer to him. he was sitting on the bed, his back resting on the headboard, his arms crossed as he furrows at you.
he trust you completely, so he thought it was impossible for him to have been jealous. yet, when someone else flirted with you, it was inevitable that he would feel uncomfortable. he wanted to wrap his arms around you and protect you from the outside world, shielding you from prying eyes and keeping you safe and close. he couldn't help but feel possessive and protective, wanting to shelter you from any unwanted attention.
"you know what really grinds my gears?" he narrow his eyes slightly. "people perving on you like you're just some piece of meat!" his jaw clenched as he keeps trying to remain calm. "it's so gross and it completely ruins my mood. why can't they keep their lustful eyes to themselves?"
you looked at him with amusing eyes, sitting beside him and cupping his face on your hands, squeezing it together softly. "did you know you look very cute when you are jealous?" you chuckle softly.
"that's not funny, babe," he rolls his eyes, his cheeks a warm up from your teasing. there's no point in try to deny it. "i just don't like the way people look at you sometimes. and i don't like feeling this way, it makes me feel like i don't trust you, even though i do."
as you notice he's quite upset with this, you stop your teasing and let your lovingly eyes roam over his face. "it's okay, my love," you say as you peck him on the lips. "it's not like we could control these feelings, right?" you gently caress his cheekbones with your thumbs as you reassure him. "i know you trust me, it's okay to feel this way sometimes. i'm glad you told me how you feel."
he felt kinda relieved that you weren't mad at him for being jealous and didn't scold him or something, instead you kept being all sweet and understanding. "it's just... you should see the way they look at you," renjun's voice was quiet, as if he was embarassed. "they don't just think that you are beautiful. it would be ok if it was just that, but... they want you."
you couldn't help but laugh softly, wrapping your arms around his neck and leaning slightly on him. "does it really matter if you are the only one who owns me, sweetie?"
renjun smiled as you wrapped your arms around him. his brow knit together at your question, though. it was a fair point that you were his, but it still didn't sit right with him. "i don't like other people imagining themselves being with you," he said bitterly, almost as if he was disgusted with the thought.
"wow, that really made you overthink, hm?" you shake your head slightly. "let me fix that real quick," you say as you pull him close and begin to kiss him. your hand gently moves to tangle his hair between your fingers as you press yourselves together in a sensual and passionate embrace.
you kissed him like you owned him, your lips claiming his lips as yours. your hand stroking his hair brought even more softness to this moment. he couldn't help but to succumb to this love, his heart beating fast and his breath running shallow.
it was only after pulling away for the kiss that he realized that you had made him shut up for a bit.
"feeling better?" you ask playfully. he was still a bit stunned by the moment, taking a few seconds before clean his throat and answer you. "y-yes, a little, i guess..." his face flushed as he looked at you with his cute eyes.
"awn, just a little?" you pout. "then i think i should make you have sure," you said moving your lips to his jawline, kissing him there and trailing kisses down his neck.
you could hear a soft sigh escape his lips as he tilt his head slightly to give you more access to his skin. "y-yes, please, i think t-that would be good," he said softly, closing his eyes as he enjoys the feeling of your lips on him.
he was so immersed on the sensation that he doesn't notice your hand moving until he feels it caressing his cock through his sweatpants, making him breath sharply and whimper softly.
you knew he was sensitive when it comes to you and it never fails to make him even more attractive in your eyes. "this hard already, love? with just a few kisses?" you tease, whispering on his ear and nibbling his earlobe. he feels his face getting even more red by your comment, he should be used at your words at this point, but he just couldn't help but feel shy about that. "y-yes, b-because... because it's you, y-you know?" he said in a low tone, opening his eyes to look at you, his pupils dilated.
you laugh tenderly, pecking his lips again. "you are such a cutie, renjun," you shake your head. "i have no choices but help you with that, right?" you wink playfully, pulling down his sweatpants along his boxers, revealing his hard cock leaking with pre-cum. it made you unconsciously moisten your lips with your tongue. your hand gently grabbed his dick, slowly stroking it to warm him up.
just a simple handjob had him moaning and trembling from head to toe, his breath quickens as he shut his eyes tightly. "please, babe," he whine. "f-faster," he pleaded, now looking at you with his puppy eyes. how could you say no to that?
well, you wanted to give him a full experience, so you keep stroking him slowly as you move to position yourself between his legs, now facing his cock. renjun watches you with hungry eyes, his heart beating wildly as he waits for your next moves. you stuck your tongue out, licking all his lenght first, swirling around the tip before taking him into your mouth.
his breath becomes ragged, and he leans back agains the headboard, lost in the pleasure coursing through his veins. "fuck, babe," he gasps, his hands instinctively reaching for your head to guide your movements—not that he needed to—, his fingers tangled on your hair. "f-feels, ah, feels so g-good."
the feeling of your warm, wet mouth on his sensitive flesh was almost too much to handle, and he had to bite his lip to keep from cumming right then and there. his toes curling and his eyes rolling to the back of his head. he loved the sensation of your mouth wrapped around him and the way you look up at him with your does eyes. jesus, he always feel in heaven when he have you like that.
renjun's grip on your hair tightens as you continue to please him, his hips bucking involuntarily in response to your skilled ministrations, his loud moans and whimpers were like music to your ears. he can feel himself getting closer and closer to the edge, and he knows he won't last much longer. "i-i'm going to—i'm going to c-cum!" he warned, his voice strained.
you just hummed in response and quickened your pace, bobbing your head up and down fastly, you always know when he was close because his moans become a little bit more shrill. he held you closer as you took him deeper into your throat, he could feel his orgasm building up inside of him. he couldn't hold back any longer. with a loud groan, he released his cum into your mouth, filling it up with his hot, sticky semen. his legs shaking with such an intense moment.
you swallowed it all willingly, smiling as you pull his cock out of your mouth with a soft 'pop'. you were smiling satisfied, seeing him panting and all flushed. his dreamy expression was always an amazing view.
"like it?" you ask raising an eyebrow. again, it took him a few seconds to compose himself. "you know i love it," he said a bit breathless, making you humming in satisfaction. "good, because now it's time to return the favor."
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a/n: hii anooon and all readers! hope y'all liked it, was this good? i don't know, but thank you for reading 'till the end <3.
quick question; which do you prefer?: 'y/n', 'name', '__' + variations? i wasn't sure about which one i should use, so i had to make use of petnames 😭😭
also, thank you for all the love on my first post! i don't know if i'll keep doing good, but i'm happy for now if you guys are enjoying! and again, i hope you like it, anon! i wasn't sure about what i should write for renjun now, i'm sorry </3
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astroyongie · 1 month
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Seventeen: They Text You One Month After Your Death
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Note: heavy angst and mentions of S* Scoups
"Wake up y/n and stay with me"  "I swear to god that right now, I need you here"  "I need you to stay strong baby.. Can you yell those words at me again please?"  "Ever since you left i try to remind me where I came from and where I belong, but without you i feel so lost in this earth"  "So wake up y/n.. and stay with me"
Wonwoo
"Its been a month already y/n.. do you remember, summer after high school, when we first met?"  "We maded out in my car and on my 18th birthday, we got those stupid matching tattoos. I still cry when i look at mine"  "do you remember when we used to steal your parents' liquor and go to your room? we spoke about our future like we had a clue you would leave me"  "fuck i never planned that one day I would be losing you. Why did you got to leave?"  "In another life y/n, I would be your husband and we both could keep all our promises of being happy together"
Mingyu
"I've been holding my breath each time i think of you"  “Wonwoo told me he put lillies on your tomb today. Sorry. didn't come, I've been holding back tears ever since that day"  "I miss you so much y/n"  "I've done a lot of things wrong, but i swear loving you was never one"
Vernon
"y/n"  "I can't imagine a world with you gone and yet here we are. Fuck i am still in denial"  "I have always said i would be so lost if you left me alone in this fucked up world"  "I can't stop crying"  "the images of you locked in the bathroom, lying on the floor when I broke through"  "and i pulled you y/n, did you felt me? did you heard me y/n? I pull you in to feel your heartbeat and i couldnt hear a damn thing"  "did you hear me screaming?"  "Please don't leave me"
Hoshi
"It's not true. Even today i can't accept that its true"  "y/n, please tell me I've been lied to, that you are still here, that you are still alive and well somewhere"  "Crying isn't like me, but i didn't stop ever since you left"  "What the hell did I do?"  "I love you but I don't want to"  "this hurts so much"
The8
"Hey y/n how have you been? Have you been sleeping well? have you been eating well?"  "I hope you are wearing that hoodie i gave you. I am wearing the one you gave me. as a matter of fact i dont have the heart to remove it"  "I hope you bribed the door on your way to the sky. I know god wouldnt mind it"  "y/n wait for me yeah? I miss you. Dont cry for me. The end is near”
Jun
"Hey y/n"  "sorry i am only talking to you now.. ah, i may have fucked up ahah"  "I am currently laying in the silence, waiting for the sirens of the ambulance"  "yeah.. i fucked up.. but i missed you so much"  "I'm alive still.."  "I don't wanna lose it but i cant bare being apart from you"  "but I'm not getting through this.. y/n what should i do?"  "should I pray? to whom? to myself? to a God?"  "y/n.. help me"
Dino
"miss your touch every nights y/n.. lately i have been feeling a little hollow. And you how have you been feeling?"  "I know you crossed the bridge that I can't follow, but hey brat, you could have said goodbye"  "but now we cant change the past.. the love that you left is all that I get"  "I want you to know that, if I can't be close to you, I'll try settle for the ghost of you"  "I miss you more than life"
Woozi
"I am sorry i keep texting you. i just hate you so much right now.” ”never saw it coming, I couldn't read the signs that you werent okay and fuck this.. i hate myself"  "Now I know that it means nothing"  "you are always on my mind y/n"  "the others are trying to tricked into believing that everything will work out in the end"  "fuck them. You were the only one for me"
Joshua
"Hey baby how are you? I am not doing good ahah.."  "All I want is nothing more but too hear you knocking at our appartment door"  "if I could see your face once more y/n, I could die a happy man"  "When you said your last goodbye that night, when that fucking disease took you, i swear to all angels I died a little bit inside"  "y/n, i miss you so much and all i do is lay in tears in bed"  "I never felt so alone"  "But if you loved me, why you leaved me?"
Jeonghan
"Yo brat.." “Woozi and Joshua made me text you.. tsk they are idiots.."  "but hey brat.. you were the light to my shadow, did you know?"  "fuck god to take my star. another star they say, fuck them. you are fading away in my memory"  "Where are you now brat? Are you okay?"  "Please... y/n."
DK
"y/n I think I lost myself again"  "But I remember you told me to stay strong and Seungkwan has been nagging me to eat more"  "But I wish you would be the one telling me that"  "y/n tell me why our love is six feet under ground? Are you cold down there?"  "I will go to your grave tomorrow.. Wonwoo told me to watered the Dahlias"  "Would they bloom?"  "It's all too much for me"  "How could you die carelessly? Whos gonna take care of my heart now?"
Seungkwan
"Hey baby"  "i decided to text you bc sunday mornings were your favorite and we used to meet with the gang"  "your last sunday you did your hair up, you looked so pretty"  "y/n, I have been screamin at a God for the past weeks"  "I'm still holding on to everything, I don't wanna say goodbye bc this one means forever"  "I don't want to say goodbye so please.. come back to me"
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lbcreations-blog · 10 months
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Any chance of an Imp-Reader (Female or Gender-neutral, ur choice) that often hangs out with Blitz and Stolas, they all like eachother but nobody has confessed to one another- and Reader often keeps getting left behind in their 'group' outings
Not on purpose, the other two just get distracted- and don't realize that each time Reader is left behind, they fall further into a depression- one day they get left behind again, and this time they get abducted and hurt.
The boys find out and find them in the hospital and realize they messed up, and apologize and confess their feelings and reassure Reader they won't leave them behind again.
𝐚 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 l͟o͟v͟e͟
Masterlist
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You loved hanging with blitz and stolas, they are amazing friends. Thats what you would say if you didn't have a crush on both of them, so its more like. You loved hanging with blitz and stolas, they are amazing demons to crush on.
But there was only one problem. They keep leaving you out when hanging out.
You weren't sure if they were doing it on purpose but it definitely felt like it.
Anyway present day you were getting ready to go out with the two, to a circus that recently came about in the greed ring.
As you were getting dressed you thought about what would be there and what you would do with the two, but then you stopped mid getting dressed, and realized.
What if they leave you behind again?
......
You decided to cross that bridge when you get to it... if that happens. It wont, they are you're friends... Right?
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*A a half an hour later*
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"Hhhmmm i wonder where reader is" Stolas said while stading next to blitz at the entrance of the Circus. "All i know is they are late" Blitz commented
"hey guys!" you said loudly to get there attention to say you are here. "gee what took you so long, mmmm?" Blitz said while stading in a pose.
"Traffic was shit"
"Yea traffic is always shity" Blitz said back to you "well, at least, you are here" stolas said
"Yea 6 minutes late" you said back "well lets get going dont wanna stand here all day, now do we?" Blitz said "ofcourse not blitzy"
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10 minutes later at one of the activities to do while waiting for the show to start
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"Oooo blitzy your so good at this" stolas said in awe at blitzs amazing technique at the game. "yea whatever you say" blitz responded. "hey why not after this we go to the-" "lets go there blitzy" "yea sure that shit looks fun" did they... Just... Ignore you?.. Again?
Mabye they didn't hear you. Yea thats right, they didn't hear you. What are you talking about join your friends.
"Oooo blitzy your so good at this~" sotas said "yea ofcourse i am" blitz responded "so how did you get-" "hey check that shit stolas lets try that one out" blitz said while walking over to it. "oh yes that seems fun" stolas said while following blitz.
Oh no not again they ignored you another time. Mabye they really don't like you, i mean why would you even 'like like' them in the first place? If they dont like you
You know what? your thinking shit, just watch the show and hang out with your friends! Ya be postive! Now where are they again. Yea they should be at that sta- they are not there.
Crap where did they go?
Whatever mabye you should just sit in the show tent and wait for them there they will find you. Yea, you'll do that!
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"Man where is this tent?" you said while looking for it in the sea of demons. "i can help hot stuff" you look to the side to see a shark demon said that. 'this guy looks sus' you thought.
"Yea no thanks" you said looking at the shark demon "common it will be great im not bad or anything" he responded back "says the demon" you said while looking for the tent again "thats it" he said with a groan "thats wha-" "come here!"
He shouted while easily kidnapping you.
(Why was it easy? Well you couldn't react in time from shock i guess)
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In the show tent
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"i wonder where reader is" stolas said to blitz. "they are probably on the toilet, stolas" blitz responded "yea you're right, hope they get here on time" stolas said back "yea, you hope, the lines looked pretty fucking long though"
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'where... am I?' You thought 'wait! Am I tied up?! Yes I am, shit. Shit shit shit' you frantically look around the room to see if there is a way out. No nothing, just a door which is probably locked in case if you get out your restraint.
Now as you realize it, you kinda feel really sore and numb on your left leg. You look down at your leg. Wait is that a... gash! Your clothes right there on your leg is ripped as if a hellhound tried to rip your entire leg off but failed. That's a lot of skin and meet gone.
Just who did this? And why?
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A few minutes later
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You decided to try and get out of your restraints. And funny enough, it. Worked! Which was amazing, but there was one problem. Your legs pain fully came through once you got up. And it hurt like shit.Oh well you were just ganna have to deal with it.
You walked up to the door to see if it would open. And it... Opened? Huh odd. This ether is a test or they are just fucking dumb. You walked through the place cautiously, and somehow you got out.
Now all you need is a taxi to get to sloth which is fucking far hopefully you have enough money in your pocket.
_________________
With stolas and blitz at the circus
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"the shows over and they aren't here" blitz said "do you think they are alright" stolas asked "yea they are pro-" 𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚐
"who the hell could be calling me now?" blitz said as he answered the phone "what!?" blitz said into the hellphone "is this a blitz-O?" the demon over the phone said
"the O's silent! what the crap do you want?!" blitz responded "a demon by the name of reader L/N has been admitted into the hospital" the demon said "shit!" blitz exclaimed "what is it?" stolas asked "reader is in the hospital" blitz replied "oh my, we should get there quickly, I'll teleport us there, come now"
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With you
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'maybe they dont care about me, i mean i already been through surgery and have been in this hospital room for 10 minutes' you thought
Suddenly the door barged open "reader are you okay/alright?" stolas and blitz said at the same time "oh i thought you guys forgot me" you said in a tired monotone voice. "what do you mean, how could we forget you?" stolas asked.
"what? You guys literally ignore me on all the outtings we go on, and its been about, i think, two hours since ive been admitted into the hospital" you said
Realisation hits the two like a truck on a highway "oh my, im, im so sorry, i had no idea" stolas said "we, we had no idea reader" blitz said "and to think i have a crush on you guys" you said not realizing what was coming out your mouth
"wait you have a crush... On us?" stolas said slowly while blushing. You blush realising what you said. "well satan i cant believe it" blitz said blushing slightly
"what?" you asked "well we" blitz said "we both have a crush on you aswell" stolas said a bit quickly "wait what?" you asked "we talked about it not too long ago, we just weren't to sure how to tell you" stolas said
"but we promise you we wont leave you behind again" stolas said to you in reinsurance "ya we wont let any asshole hurt you again!" blitz said proudly. You giggled at blitzs loud goofyniss
"thanks guys"
Tᕼᗴ ᗴᑎᗪ
This was a long one but pretty nice to wright i hope you enjoyed it anon
I bid you a good day/night
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(i just realized reader has a similar personality to charlie, just... Why!?)
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sweetsonnyangel · 6 months
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Moments in our lives- Rick Grimes
Based off a small tune by Anna Bates called Skipping rocks. Can be found on her instagram!
first time writing and this was not proofread:/
He keeps a matchbook in his pocket and a cigarette behind his ear
- You looked at Rick from across the yard as he helped Maggie plant crops in your new home, Alexandria. You could see him say something to Maggie before he started to make his way towards you with a smile. Currently, you were taking care of Judith, who was sitting at your feet on the porch, playing with some blocks she had gotten from Jessie. Rick walked up the porch steps, sat down next to you, and pulled a cigarette from behind his ear. He put it to his lips and then took out his matchbook, which he always kept in his pocket, and lit his cigarette.
“You know it's not good for her to see her daddy smoking,” you said, a hint of concern in your voice.
Rick chuckled lightly and looked at you. “I'm serious, Rick.”
Rick smiled softly. “Alright, I won't do it in front of her anymore, promise,” he said, and with that, he threw it on the ground and stomped it with his boot.
He cries 3 times a week but only sobs two times a year
- #1: Rick sobbed in your arms after hearing the gunshot that killed Carl. You too were crying; Carl was like a son to you, and you loved him more than words could ever explain. But right now, you were trying to be as strong as you could for Rick. That's all you could do; nothing you could ever say would take the hurt away from him, the hurt of losing a child.
#2: Rick felt himself begin to sob as he looked at your face, his gun aimed at the explosives that would take down the bridge, and himself. He watched as Maggie and Michonne held you back. He closed his eyes as he heard you screaming for him. Then it happened—the bridge went down, along with the other half of your soul.
He chokes on simple phrases like ‘I love you dont you know’ 
- You and the two others kidnapped by the Governor (Maggie and Glenn) had just returned to the prison. You had taken the worst of the beatings there, wanting to shield Maggie and Glenn from harm. Merle let you have it, which ultimately proved futile because they still beat up Maggie and Glenn. After Merle, you refused to let the Governor humiliate you by stripping you of your clothes, which angered him. In the end, you were left in a bra and torn-up jeans.
When Rick and the group found you and took you to a relatively safe place, he gave you his shirt, leaving himself in just a white tank top that served as his undershirt. After explaining why you were more beaten up than Maggie and Glenn, Rick exploded at you, yelling about how you could have died if the Governor hadn't intervened to take you from Merle. Despite your insistence that you were okay, the bandages all over your body suggested otherwise.
“You can't risk your own safety for others like that!” Rick yelled.
“Why does it matter, Rick?!” you yelled back, feeling exhausted and just wanting to rest, but Rick was making that very difficult.
Rick suddenly grew quiet. “It matters because, because, I-I love you.”
You froze; had he really just said that? Rick cupped your cheeks with his hands, trying to be gentle with all your bruises and cuts. “I love you. I have for a while.”
You grabbed his shoulder with your non-injured hand and smiled. “I love you too, Rick.” With that, he pulled you in gently for a kiss that neither of you would forget.
And while hes skipping rocks my heart does skip a beat just so
- You and Rick were out on a run when you found a small pond. Rick mentioned skipping rocks with his father when he was younger. You told him you never learned how to, and he made a ‘mandatory stop’ at the pond. You watched as he threw the rock perfectly into the pond, where it bounced a couple of times. You smiled. “I don't know how to!” Rick chuckled softly and grabbed your hand. “Here, toss' em’ gently, like this.” He maneuvered your hand and shifted it slightly as you let go of the rock. It bounced a couple of times on the water. You turned around and smiled brightly at Rick. “I did it!” He smiled back at you, a smile that weakened you. “You did.” You looked him in the eyes as your cheeks tinted pink, he looked back at you with so much love in his eyes, a look that made your heart skip a beat.
He only wears those brown boots I bought him long ago
- You and Daryl had gone out on a run together; everyone else was busy helping out around Alexandria. Currently, you were in what used to be a clothing store, looking for clothes for Judith and the rest of the kids in Alexandria. As they were growing, they would need new things soon. As you walked up to a shelf, you saw a pair of brown boots that looked very durable, if that's the right word; they looked like they would last a long time. "This is exactly what Rick needs," you thought to yourself, but were they his size?
“Hey Daryl?” you could hear him approach you. “Yeah?” he responded as you turned the boot in his direction. “You think these would fit Rick? He's got a big ass foot so I can't be too sure.” Daryl chuckled at your comment, even though you were being completely serious. He took a closer look at the boots. “Yeh, I think they'd fit him.” You smiled and went to put them in your bag. “Thanks D!” He smiled slightly and went back to looking for clothes.
—-
You had finally settled on the couch after a long shower. You were so glad you had hot running water now. Rick wasn’t home yet; he was somewhere, you weren't quite sure where. You cozied up with a book and a blanket on one corner of the couch. About 20 minutes later, you heard the front door open, and you saw Rick enter the house. He saw you and smiled. “Hey doll,” you blushed slightly at the nickname. “Hi!, how was your day? I feel like I haven't seen you in forever.” You somewhat joked. 
Rick sat down on the couch next to you, putting his feet up on the coffee table as he kicked his boots off. You suddenly remembered the boots you had picked up for him earlier. “Oh!” Rick looked at you alarmed as you laughed. “Sorry, forgot I picked something up for you on my run earlier.” Rick smiled. “Oh yeah?” You ran to get your backpack from the other side of the room, setting it down on the coffee table and pulling the boots out. “I saw these earlier and thought you would like ‘em.” Rick's smile brightened as he saw what you were holding. “If they don't fit, blame Daryl,” you said jokingly as you handed him the boots. He took them out of your hands and put them on, standing up to walk in them. As he did so, he gave you a little twirl. You laughed at him. “Do they fit well?” Rick walked up to you and cupped your cheeks. “They fit perfectly, thank you doll. I’ll wear 'em till they fall off my feet.” You chuckled as you leaned up to kiss him. “My pleasure, officer,” you said with a wink.
Rick really did wear the boots till the soles wore off. They were the only thing he had left of you after he blew up the bridge to save his people from the horde of walkers.
When he loves me in the evening I can feel it in my soul
- It was late into the evening, and you had just finished washing the dishes that had been used during dinner. You had made spaghetti at the request of Carl. You felt Rick sneak up behind you and wrap his arms around your waist as he kissed your neck softly. You smiled as you turned around to face him, your arms wrapping behind his neck. He smiled back at you. “Dance with me,” he said.
You gave him a playful look. “To what music?”
Rick then began to hum as he swayed you both around. You laughed softly as your head went to rest on his chest. “I love you,” you whispered, and his humming stopped.
“I love you too,” he whispered back.
He stutters when he tells me he's always been just mine 
- You lay in bed, Rick beside you, a comforting silence enveloping the room. Memories flooded your mind: stolen glances, shared laughter, moments of quiet understanding between the two of you. Through it all, an unspoken bond persisted, defying explanation.
“I love you, Rick. I think I always have,” you spoke suddenly. Rick turned to you, his expression softening. “I love you too. I've always been yours,” he replied, gently taking your hand. “And I always will be.”
In that moment, amidst the chaos of the new life, you realized that sometimes the most beautiful confessions come in the form of a stuttered declaration.
And while hes skipping rocks my heart does skip a beat in time
- You, Rick, Judith, and Carl were hanging out by the little pond in Alexandria. A content smile adorned your face as you watched Rick teach Carl how to skip rocks. You rocked Judith in your arms softly as she was falling asleep. Carl had gotten the hang of it, and you cheered him on softly from where you sat. Rick looked back at you with a smile, a smile full of love that made your heart skip a beat. The same smile he always wore. You smiled back at him, wishing things could stay like this forever.
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rxtchetprime · 1 year
Text
okay but the kids witnessing optimus and ratchet being cute and old and married. do you get me.
i feel like the bots already know that they're together, like, they've been together for so long and tried hiding it for a while., but eventually it just got out. all the bots have caught the looks the other gives them, the small touches, and even arcee walked in one night on optimus, sleeping, and laying his helm on ratchet's lap.
so the bots know, and they don't really tell the kids. it's such a normal thing around them that they forget that they don't know.
it isn't until one day, optimus is coming back from an energon scouting mission, and he comes through the groundbrige and transforms. he walks over to ratchet at the console and presses a kiss on one of his audial fins before walking away to his room. what the two don't realize is that the kids are all there, watching them intently.
miko's jaw drops, jack has to take a moment to process, and raf just shrugs.
jack: did you guys see that? or am i hallucinating?
raf: nah, i saw it too
miko: GUYS. dont you know what this means. we NEED to get the DETAILS. RATCHET-
immediately, chaos ensues. miko waves ratchet down, starts yelling and asking all types of questions regarding his and optimus' relationship. jack stands there, listening intently, still in shock. and raf nods along and gives smiles here and there as miko asks every single question she can think of that moment. everyone things that she's gonna stop, but then she takes a deep breath to ask even more questions.
eventually, jack steps in and gets miko to stop. he looks at ratchet as his faceplate is dusted with a very light, but noticeable blue tint. ratchet just covers his face and stalks away quickly in the same direction that optimus went.
after a few minutes, optimus emerges from the hallway and walks over to the kids, ratchet nowhere to be seen. miko is looking down at the floor and kicking her feet now, and jack and raf are looking on with concerned looks.
to their surprise, optimus just smiles at them. for a moment, they're all equally confused, then optimus starts to speak;
optimus: so ratchet told me what happened, how'd you figure it out?
jack: when you came out of the ground bridge, you walked over and kissed him
optimus blinked for a moment, seemingly surprised. then he chuckled lightly. "i guess it's become such a normal practice for us that i didn't even realize it."
miko lit up, "so you two ARE together!?" optimus would smile again, "we've been together for forever, even since before i became prime."
for the next hour or so, optimus sat with the children, answering almost any questions about his and ratchet's relationship that he was comfortable with sharing. he told stories of how the two had met, their first few dates, and he'd even go on to tell a few embarrassing stories of ratchet.
optimus: he'd had so much to drink that night, he started singing loudly in our native language. i had to carry him out of the bar that night-
ratchet, walking back into the main hangar: optimus, you weren't so graceful yourself when under the influence.
miko lit up and started asking ratchet to tell them embarrassing stories regarding optimus. ratchet smirked at his lover and started to recount the time he had taken optimus, as orion, to a bar one night to celebrate their anniversary. he'd gotten so plastered that at the end of the night, he had passed out and had to be bridle carried back to his flat.
the story swapping continued for a while, that was until ratchet walked over to activate the ground bridge for the others. they'd be coming back from their daily scouting missions. as they walked through, the children started to question the others.
miko: BULK DID YOU KNOW AND NOT TELL ME!?
bulkhead: umm.. what do you mean?
ratchet smiled at the bots and gave optimus a kiss on his neck cabling, before returning to the console. the bots loudly, and rather comically, started to spout "ewwwsss" and, "grossss. get a room!" bee was even beeping in mock protest.
jack: so, did you guys know?
arcee: oh yea, we've known for a while now. they used to try and keep it a secret, but we caught them being old and married for so long that they eventually stopped hiding it.
bulkhead: so how did you guys find out?
optimus: i gave him a kiss on the audial when i got back and didn't even realize it
the bots smiled warmly at their commander, before they started to disperse into different topics and activities between them and their charges.
so, if the kids find optimus slinking his hands around ratchet's waist when he's working, or see ratchet peacefully recharing and clung to optimus as he's reading a data pad, they don't say anything.
they're just glad that they can find solace in each other.
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doctorcanon · 10 months
Text
A little obsessed with the potential brotherly dynamic between The Captain and Mask. I know there are lots of other characters from the series in HW but hear me out okay?
Imagine being The Captain:
You take the strangest kid under your wing during the war. He's mostly unobtrusive. Mature for his age, quiet, but generally churlish. Can barely read (ill explain this HC one day) but fights like a demon and is clearly immensely troubled but doesn't know how to express himself.
You eventually connect over a shared burden and become rather attached to the kid. You're the only one he actually speaks to. Moreover, people have started calling you "the twins" even though he much younger than you. You teach him practical things like improving his reading, clothes mending and social graces. He teaches you about the natural world, herbalism and orienteering. You even give him a nickname "Mask" that he reluctantly answers to. But as the war wears on and the battles get harder, the boy has to rely on his masks more and more. Save for the one he calls Oni. He says its his failsafe and mentions nothing else.
Until one day, during the penultimate battle, you and your battalion are overwhelmed. Grievously injured, you call for Mask to get to safety. The next thing you remember is hearing "dont worry, captain, I'll protect you, i promise." Then flashes of a hulking demon laying waste to the battlefield with a helix shaped sword. You also remember a great and terrible silence and the sensation of being carried.
When you wake, Zelda informs you that the battle has been won but Mask along with several others, are missing. Even when the war is won and over, you search that battlefield, all surrounding areas and lists of the dead for any sign of Mask. You find nothing and eventually your duties as Captain must be seen to.
Three years later, you follow up on reports of an aberration found around the area Mask disappeared. The portal drops you unceremoniously into a Hyrule you don't recognize. You meet 8 others just like you, all named Link, each bearing the Mark of Destiny and honestly kinda sick of all this shit. The Oldest One - face heavily scarred and blind in one eye - holds your gaze for a little too long. When you ask him about it, he only apologizes awkwardly.
Needing some space during a particularly raucous night, you decide to check up on your party's resident Old Man who just so happens to be reorganizing his things. And you see it: Oni, the Fierce Deity; the War God that nearly won them the war but not the little boy who carried it.
"Where did you get this? Who gave it to you?" You ask. When he doesn't give you an answer, you insist. "That mask is one of a kind, and only one person I know had it, what happened to him."
The silence that follows is so thick, not even the Master Sword could cut it. The Old Man - Time, they call him - is taller than the rest of them, but his stature is bent by bone deep weariness. The scars on his face pull his features in different directions, the bridge of his nose is split, the remains of his empty eye socket droop painfully without his eye patch, the left corner of his mouth peel back to show more of his teeth - two of which are missing. But his remaining eye - bright, alert and unnervingly blue - pleads with him and the realization dawns on him before Time turns away, almost timid but mostly ashamed.
"He kept fighting, Captain. He kept fighting until he couldn't anymore and kept going. Until..."
You embrace him before you can stop yourself. He's just as surprised as you are. But he doesn't throw you off or scold you. Instead, he sinks into the hug with a long, shuddering sigh of relief. He's so tall now, he nearly bowls you over. Then quietly, through tears Captain can't see, he says
"I'm sorry...I thought you be disappointed." Your heart that was frantically picking up the piece just a moment ago breaks all over again. You can still hear that little boy buried in somewhere the gruff baritone you've grown accustomed to. Something bittersweet festers inside you, a melange of emotions you can't possibly unpack in this moment. But not one of them is disappointment. You pull away, taking him by the shoulders and giving him a little shake.
"You are so much more than I could've ever imagined. Whatever you've done, you survived and I couldn't be more proud."
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bbyquokka · 1 year
Text
5:15 pm (hjs)
genre: timestamp, fluff, angst (if you squint) — MDNI!
warnings: gn! reader, established relationship, insecure reader, pet names
words: 1.2k ~ (1278)
a/n: i was watching the intro vid to 5 star, saw jisung's hair, fell in love with him all over again and this is the result. direction of it wasn't planned, it just happened because my brain said so
♡ m.list — ♡ you can also read it on my ao3
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dont repost. dont translate. minors, ageless & default blogs; dni! feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!
“let me braid your hair!” you whine for the nth time. jisung let's out a soft sigh before pushing his round glasses up to rest on the bridge of his nose.
“why would you want to do that?”
“because it's so pretty and long now. i just want to braid it and put it in a ponytail. i wanna play with your hair, ji before you get it all cut short.” you say with a pout.
“fine! but just this once, ok?” he laughs softly as he watches you rush to the bedroom to gather accessories, hair ties and a brush.
during the process, jisung moved and situated himself on the wooden floor by the sofa. you rush to him, sitting on the sofa and spreading your legs to allow him to shuffle between them.
he turns his attention to the tv as you grab the brush. you gently run it through his long, silver and grey hair to free his hair from any knots. you place the brush down by your side before gently running your fingers through it slowly.
your fingers become lost in the sea of hair. the soft strands tickling your fingertips. jisung hums softly in contentment, his body relaxing at the soft and gentle gesture.
“does that feel nice, ji?” he hums softly as he nods. you smile to yourself before reaching around to the front of his face. you gather his hair together, leaving a few strands to hand in front of his face.
you part his hair down the middle, gathering one side up into a high pony. you giggle to yourself as you secure the strands in pink elastic before doing the same to the other side. you add in a few colourful butterfly clips before handing jisung the mirror.
“whatcha think?” you giggle. jisung takes the mirror, his brows furrowed together as he checks out the hairstyle.
“babeee!” he whines, “you said you'd braid it.”
“i know, i know! but you look so adorable!”
“really?” he looks up at you to which you hum before leaning down and gently kissing the tip of his cute nose.
“really really. but i will braid it, don't worry ji.”
you take out the clips and the elastics before brushing out his hair again. you run your fingers through it a few times, taking in the softness and how healthy and long his hair currently is.
“i love your hair. it's so soft and healthy.”
“the advantages of having good quality hair products.” he says with a chuckle. “seeing how much i dye it, it has to look and feel healthy.”
“mhm. i'm slightly jealous.” you say as you start to braid his hair.
“why?”
“because you're so perfect and flawless, ji. you're so handsome and beautiful. everyone loves and adores you. you don't have a single flaw about you. sometimes i wonder…” you pause, feeling a lump burn in your throat suddenly as the feeling of insecurity hits you hard.
“what do you wonder, baby?” his voice is soft and gentle as he is quick to pick up on the way your voice quivers, no matter how hard you try to cover it up.
“sometimes i wonder why you're with me.” your voice is nothing but a small and gentle whisper, in hopes he didn’t hear you–which he did.
“i'm with you because i love you.”
“i know but, you're you and i'm me.” you secure the ends of his braid with an elastic, before scanning for any imperfections such as lumps and bumps.
“i don't understand, baby.” 
“i'm just me. meaning i'm basic. i have flaws, i'm not perfect. i get insecure sometimes because i look at other people, people who are so much better than me in terms of looks and talents and i can't stop myself from thinking that you'd be so much better off with them than me.”
“baby–” 
regret rises to the surface before sinking deep in your stomach. you swallow that burning lump that refuses to go away before quickly wiping your eyes.
“forget it.” you hastily say, “forget i said anything. let's just continue being happy and act like i haven't just ruined the mood.” you say with a sullen laugh. you rise to your feet to clear up the hair products.
a hand wraps around your wrist, gently pulling you down on jisung's lap to straddle him. your eyes widen at the surprising action before you sheepishly look down. you idly play with the material of his t-shirt and his silver neck chain, not wanting to make eye contact with him because if you do, you'll cry.
“look at me.” he gently strokes your hair and cheeks before slowly tracing your jawline with his finger. he hooks his finger under your chin, lifting it up so you're forced to look at him.
your eyes scan his facial features. from how plump his bottom lip is to the small, delicate mole on his cheek. the dam breaks, tears suddenly falling down your cheeks slowly.
“don't cry, my love.” he gently hushes you, raking his fingers through your hair slowly. he gently pushes you against his chest, encouraging you to put all your weight on him.
the softness of his skin, his touch and the rhythmic thumping of his heart rate calms you down to some extent. negative thoughts rush through your mind, thoughts you don't want to think but you can't help. An unwelcome guest that’s no stranger to you.
jisung rocks you back and forth, hushing and cooing you gently as he rubs your back and strokes your hair. a few minutes later, you manage to calm down as you pull away, sniffling.
“want to know why i'm with you and not someone else?” you look down, nodding slowly. “because you make me feel things i haven't felt nor never felt in a very very long time, yn.”
you look up at him, his expression so soft and eyes glossed over and shiny with so much love and admiration for you.
“i feel happy, excited. i feel like i'm the luckiest man on this planet. you may think i don't have flaws because you see me as this perfect being but i have flaws. everyone has some type of flaw. i'm not always perfect baby. i still have a lot to learn but with you by my side, i know it's going to be ok.”
“but what abo–”
“i don't want no one else but you. you're perfect to me. whether it be a good day, bad day. whether your hair is unwashed or you've been living in the same clothing for days, i don't care. i want that. you're human, you're real. you're true to yourself and to everyone else. i like that about you and it's what makes me love you so much.”
“ji..” your bottom lip sticks out as your eyes well up with tears yet again.
“i see myself with you and only you. just like how you see me as perfect and flawless is how i see you. i love you yn. i'm head over heels, a hundred percent smitten for you.”
“i love you too.” you sob. the negative thoughts and feelings washing away with each kind and gentle word you hear. the reassurance from jisung puts your mind, soul and heart at rest.
nothing but love overpowers your body once again as you lean in to kiss jisung softly. he holds onto your waist, pulling you closer so you're sat in his crotch. you place your hands on his cheeks as you both bask in the warmth of each other;
in the warmth that's called love.
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tags (open): @sstarryoong ; @myprwttyhan ; @fairylouist ; @septicrebel ; @bbujiikseu ; @alyszaen ; @writerracha ; @hyunluvxo ; @aestheticsluut ; @xcookiemonsteer
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jiihu · 1 year
Note
I have a fic request, its quite dark tho, so if you dont want to write it its fine. Where the oc and yeji have a power Imballance of one being a famous music producer and the other is a leader of an idol group struggling to get good music for their next comeback
Thank you
𝐏𝐔𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐀 𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐄 — 𝐡𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐞𝐣𝐢
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﹅ summary — after years of training, you've finally debuted in a group, but your first comeback didn't receive the attention you'd hoped for. producer hwang yeji offers you the opportunity of a lifetime.
﹅ content — power imbalance, toxic, idol!reader
﹅ word count — 4.3k
﹅ a/n — the whole time i was writing this i couldn't stop thinking of that scene in the fearless mv where that person was like "nugu? nugu?"
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you sat in the corner of your practice room, gripping the tablet in your hands as your four other members huddled around you to watch the choreography. it was a critical moment for you and your group, as you were only a day away from your comeback performance. the pressure was high, and everyone knew that every single move had to be perfect and precise.
as the music started, you closed your eyes and tried to focus on the beat. the choreography was complicated, and you had been practicing for months to get it right. but something was still off. the timing was a little off, and some of the moves didn't flow as smoothly as you thought they should.
you opened your eyes and looked at your members. they were all staring at you, waiting for your feedback. you took a deep breath and attempted to voice your concerns.
"okay, let's try that again. yujin, your timing is off on the second chorus. hyerin, your footwork needs to be a little sharper. and jia, you need to extend your arm a little more on the bridge."
your members nodded in understanding and got back into position. you started the music again, and this time, everything was seemingly perfect. the moves flowed together seamlessly, and the timing was on point.
as the music ended, your members collapsed onto the floor, exhausted but clearly satisfied with their work today. a huge contrast to how you were feeling.
you blew out a puff of air, walking backward to sit in a chair with your head in your hands. as the leader, you felt pressured to make everything perfect, from the dance to the lyrics. it was your job.
"y/n? are you okay?" you heard your member, rei, ask with concern. you looked up at her and forced a smile.
"yeah, i'm fine. just a little tired."
but you knew that wasn't the truth. you were stressed out and worried that your group wouldn't be able to pull off the comeback performance. it was your responsibility to make sure that everything was perfect, and you felt like you were falling short.
as you sat there, lost in thought, your members gathered around you. they sat in silence for a moment, unsure of what to say. then, jia spoke up.
"y/n, we know how much pressure you're under. but we're a team, and we'll get through this together. you don't have to carry all the burden yourself."
you looked at her, feeling grateful for her words. your members had always been there for you, supporting you through thick and thin. and you knew that they were right. you didn't have to do this alone.
"thanks, guys," you said, feeling a weight lifted off your shoulders. "let's take a break for now and come back to this later. we'll get it right."
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the five of you sat in chairs backstage, the room silent as your members stared at the floor. you had a wardrobe malfunction on stage where your mic had detached from your pocket, slipping from your grasp and under yujin’s feet. even though she regained her balance shortly after, you couldn't help but feel that the damage had already been done.
your leg bounced nervously as you looked through your group's mentions on twitter. while you scrolled through the tweets, your heart sank. fans were already talking about the incident, and some had even uploaded videos of it happening. you could feel your heart racing as you read comments about how unprofessional it was and how it ruined the entire performance.
your members sat quietly beside you, their eyes occasionally flickering towards you, reflecting the same disappointment and worry. you knew that they were all thinking about the same thing—about how this would affect your group's image and reputation. it was a critical moment, and this mistake could cost you everything.
suddenly, the door to the backstage area burst open, and your manager rushed in, her face tense. "are you guys okay?" she asked, looking at each of you in turn. "i’m glad you didn’t hurt yourself out there, that was a close call."
you nodded, feeling a little relieved that at least she didn't seem too upset about the wardrobe malfunction.
"but we have to do damage control," your manager continued, her voice low. "we need to release a statement addressing the issue and assure fans that yujin’s okay."
your members nodded, and you all sat in silence once again, lost in thought as your manager left the room. you knew that this was just the beginning, and there was a lot of work to be done to make things right since your group were still considered rookies.
as you sat there, your leg still bouncing nervously, you felt a pit in your stomach. you knew that no matter what you said, there would be people who wouldn't understand or accept your apology. but you also knew that you owed it to your fans, who had supported you all since debut, to address the situation and let them know that you were okay.
after a few moments of silence, you spoke up. "i think we should do it now, before it gets out of hand," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. your members looked at you, and then at each other, before nodding in agreement.
over the next few hours, you worked with your team to draft a statement that addressed the situation, apologized for any harm caused, and reassured your fans that yujin was okay. you all poured your hearts into the statement, wanting to make sure that it conveyed the sincerity of your apologies.
once the statement was finalized, your manager took a deep breath and hit "send" on the post. it was immediately met with a flurry of reactions—positive, negative, and everything in between.
your fans were confused as to why you were apologizing in the first place, while non-fans didn't seem to accept the apology. you read comments about how your careless mistake jeopardized your group's success, and about how you could’ve harmed yujin. you couldn't help but feel discouraged, but you also knew that you had to keep going. you couldn't let the negativity overwhelm you.
so you took a deep breath, put on a brave face for the sake of your group, and turned to your manager. "how are we gonna come back from this? i mean," you gestured to the tablet propped on the table, "this isn't going to look good for our group's image. especially after the debut we had."
your manager sighed, tapping her fingers on the arm of her chair as she tried to come up with a solution. all of a sudden, she jumped from her chair, grabbing her bag from the floor. "i know just the person who has experience with this sort of thing. y/n, follow me."
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"y/ln y/n, this is hwang yeji, the best producer the industry's seen in years." yeji held out her hand, which you quickly took into your grasp. although yeji wasn't an idol, you still felt starstruck.
you sat in awe as yeji began to speak, feeling intimidated by her presence. "don’t worry. you’re not the first one something like this has happened to," she explained. "one mistake can ruin an entire group if it's not handled correctly. fortunately for you, i promise it's not the end of your career."
yeji proceeded to lay out a detailed strategy that involved a combination of online and offline initiatives. she suggested hosting fan meetings, doing more social media interaction, and even creating a charity project to show your group's commitment to giving back to the community. yeji had a reputation for saving rookie groups from controversy, and you trusted her expertise.
"also, we could try testing out a different style for your next single. something that not only draws more international attention but something that also makes people proud to see how far you guys have come." you slowly nodded your head, your mind still not grasping the fact that you'd finally met someone who you'd looked up to for years. "is that okay with you? if not, we could try something else."
"no! it's fine. i'm sorry, my mind is just everywhere right now." yeji smiled, her hand coming up to caress your thigh.
"don't worry about it. i understand that this is pretty difficult to handle. i'll get you, and your group through this. i swear."
yeji stood up, looking over to your manager who was furiously typing on her laptop, her eyebrows furrowed. "you don't mind if i take y/n to the studio, right?" she waved her hand in a dismissive gesture, before going back to typing. "great! come with me. i'll show you a few different styles, and you can pick out which ones you like best. not today, of course, so don't feel rushed."
as you followed yeji out of the room, you couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable thinking back to her touch. it seemed a bit too forward, but you brushed it off, thinking that maybe it was just her personality.
yeji led you down a hallway illuminated with bright led lights, her hand resting on your back to guide as you walked. once again, you tried to ignore it, focusing on the different doors you passed by. finally, you arrived at a door that read "studio 5".
yeji pushed open the door, revealing a large room filled with equipment and musical instruments. "welcome to my studio," she said, gesturing for you to enter. "take a seat, and i'll play you some of my recent work."
you sat down on the couch, feeling a bit nervous as yeji disappeared behind a frosted glass door. a few moments later, music began to play, and you were struck by the unique sound. it was unlike anything you had ever heard before, and you found yourself nodding along to the beat. you knew that if you decided to use it for your group, it'd at least get points for being unique.
as the music continued to play, you found yourself feeling entranced by the sound. you barely even noticed when yeji came back out from behind the curtain, sitting down next to you on the couch.
"i'm glad you like it," yeji said, a smile on her face. "i think it could really work for your group."
you nodded in agreement, still lost in the music. yeji's hand came to rest on your knee, causing you to jump slightly.
"you're tense," she said, her hand rubbing circles on your knee. "relax, i'm just trying to help you."
you tried to ignore the uncomfortable feeling in your stomach as yeji's hand moved higher up your leg. you didn't want to be rude or offend her, but you couldn't shake the feeling that something was off.
"i think I'm going to go now," you said, standing up from the couch. "thank you for showing me the studio and the music, but i should let everyone else know what's going on."
yeji's smile faltered for just a moment before she stood up as well. "of course, i understand. i'll email you the sample so the others can hear it. let me know if you need anything else."
you quickly made your way out of the studio, feeling a sense of relief as you stepped out into the hallway. you couldn't help but feel like something was off about yeji's behavior, but you didn’t want to jump to conclusions just yet.
you stepped inside of the conference room, your eyes scanning around to see if your manager had made it back yet. "so? don't leave us hanging, what happened?" yujin spoke up, bringing you out of your almost dazed-like state.
"oh! uh, yeji has a song for us." your members leaned in expectantly, almost hanging on to your every word. "it sounds really good! she's gonna email it to us, and you guys can hear it. i think this'll definitely have an impact, a good one, on our career."
the girls erupted into cheers, pulling each other into a group hug, despite their happiness, you couldn't help but feel uneasy. you shook your head, laughing to yourself. yeji isn't a bad person. you were just overreacting.
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you sighed, twirling your pencil around in your fingers. you were sitting in yeji's studio, annotating lyrics while you waited on her to show up. your members had already listened to the song that she sent, and everyone agreed that it was a good kind of different.
as you were lost in thought, the door to the studio opened, and yeji walked in. you smiled at her, but something about her demeanor seemed off. her eyes were fixed on you, and she was already standing much too close for comfort.
"hey, y/n," yeji said, her sounding slightly irritated. "i'm sorry to keep you waiting."
"it's alright," you replied, trying to shake off the strange feeling in your gut. "i was just working on some lyrics."
yeji walked over to you and stood behind the couch, her hand resting on your shoulder. "let me see what you've got so far," she said, leaning in close to your side.
you hesitated for a moment, before handing her your notebook. as she flipped through the pages, her hand lingered on your shoulder, and you felt a shiver run down your spine.
"these lyrics are great," yeji said, her voice dripping with approval. "but i think we can make them even better. why don't we work on them together?"
she leaned in closer, and you could smell the faint scent of her perfume. it was intoxicating, and you found yourself getting lost in her gaze.
"sure," you said, your voice barely above a whisper.
yeji took a seat next to you on the couch, her body close enough to yours that you could feel her body heat. as you worked on the lyrics together, she would occasionally reach out and brush against your arm or your thigh. at first, you didn't think anything of it, but as time went on, her touches became more frequent and lingering.
you started to feel slightly uncomfortable, but you didn't know how to bring it up to her. yeji was your mentor, and you didn't want to offend her or ruin your working relationship. you didn't want to lose this opportunity. for your group's sake.
as you finished up the lyrics, yeji stood up and walked over to the recording booth. "let's give these new lyrics a try," she said, motioning for you to follow her.
you got up and followed yeji into the booth, taking your place at the microphone. you watched as yeji set up the recording equipment, adjusting the levels and checking the sound quality.
as you began to sing, you felt yeji's eyes on you, and it made you feel self-conscious. you tried to ignore her gaze, focusing on the lyrics and the melody, but every so often, you would catch her gaze lingering on you.
when you finished recording, yeji came over to you, standing close enough that you could feel her breath on your neck. "you have such a beautiful voice," she said, her hand coming up to brush a strand of hair from your face.
you smiled nervously, feeling more uncomfortable by the second. "thank you," you mumbled, feeling suffocated by her presence.
yeji leaned in closer, her lips hovering just inches from yours. "you know, y/n, i've always thought you were special," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
your heart raced as you tried to think of a response. yeji was your mentor, but her behavior was making you feel uneasy. you felt like a deer in headlights.
suddenly, yeji's hand was on your waist, pulling you closer to her. "you wanna see how special you are?" she whispered before gently pressing her lips to yours.
you were frozen for a moment, unsure of what to do, before pushing her away. "yeji, stop," you said tried to say assertively, but it came out almost like a question.
she looked at you, her expression changing from desire to confusion. "what's wrong? don't you want this?" she questioned, her hand still on your waist.
you shook your head, taking a step back. "yeji, this isn't right. you're my producer, and i could get in a lot of trouble for this."
yeji pouted, taking another step towards you. she tapped on her microphone, holding it out for you to grab. you hesitantly took it, your eyes tracing over her name engrained on the side of it. "you want to be successful right?" you nodded your head, meeting yeji's gaze.
"you don't want the career that your groupmates have worked so hard for to go to waste, do you?" you shook your head, your eye contact with yeji faltering with the intensity of her look.
yeji's words sent a chill down your spine. she was right. you didn't want to jeopardize your group's career, but at the same time, you couldn't ignore the feeling of discomfort that had settled in your stomach.
"i just… i'm not sure about this," you muttered, your grip on the microphone tightening.
yeji stepped closer to you, her hand reaching out to cup your cheek. "you're so talented, y/n. i know we can create something amazing together, both in the studio and out of it."
her words made your heart race, but you couldn't tell if it was in a good way or not. you knew what she was implying, yet you weren't sure if you were making the right decision.
yeji leaned in closer, her breath hot against your ear. "trust me, y/n. i'll take good care of you."
the way she said it sent shivers down your spine, and you found yourself leaning into her touch. she was so confident, so sure of herself. and deep down, you knew you wanted to be a part of whatever she had in mind.
you let out a shaky breath, nodding your head in agreement. "okay, yeji. i trust you."
a smile spread across yeji's face, and she leaned in to press her lips against yours. it was a soft, gentle kiss at first, but soon it deepened, and you found yourself responding eagerly. "you'll do great. i promise."
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"y/n!" you turned to the direction you hear your name being called, waving at a group of people with signs with your group's name on it. one person emerged from the crowd with a microphone, a cameraman following closely behind them.
"i heard you guys have a song coming out soon. any words on that?" the interviewer held their mic towards you, eagerly waiting on your response.
for the first time, you found yourself being confident when speaking about your upcoming release.
"hi! it's so great to see all of our fans out here today," you said, gesturing to the crowd behind them. "and i'm so excited to talk about our upcoming song, which will be releasing next month. it's really something special, and i think it's something that our fans have never heard before."
the interviewer leaned in, looking intrigued. "can you tell us a little more about the song? what makes it so unique?"
"well, first of all, we had an amazing team working on this song, including some really talented producers like hwang yeji. she brought such a fresh perspective to the project and really pushed us to try new things. and i think the result is a song that blends together elements of different genres in a way that's really unique and exciting." you beamed, praying that your words didn't reflect how nervous you truly were on the inside.
"wow! hwang yeji produced the song? i'm sure you guys were in good hands!" you chuckled nervously, your eyes darting away from the camera. was that an innuendo, or were you reading too into it?
the interviewer laughed, seemingly oblivious to your internal turmoil. "definitely sounds like a song to look out for! thank you so much for taking the time to chat with us today, y/n. we can't wait to hear you guys’ new song!"
you nodded, awkwardly smiling back at them as you ducked your head to step into the car. you looked down at your lap, toying with the ends of your shirt. you did this for your group. so why do you still feel guilty?
"y/n? is everything alright?" you looked up to meet the eyes of hyerin.
"yeah! everything is fine. i'm just nervous about the reaction our song might get. that's all."
hyerin nodded understandingly, "i know it can be nerve-wracking, but i have a feeling our fans will love it. and if they don't, it's okay. we'll keep making music and improving with each release."
you nodded, grateful for hyerin's reassuring words. as the car pulled up to the building, you gathered your things and stepped out. yeji was waiting for you in the lobby, her eyes lighting up when she saw you.
"y/n! how was the interview? i'm sure you did great," she said, her smile warm and genuine.
you smiled back, feeling a wave of relief wash over you. maybe yeji wouldn't bring it up this time. "it went well, thank you. how about you? how's everything going with the music video?"
yeji's expression turned serious, and you couldn't help but feel a twinge of unease. "actually, there's been a bit of a setback. the director had to pull out due to personal reasons, and we're trying our hardest to find a replacement."
"that's unfortunate. do you need any help with finding a new director?"
yeji's eyes lit up, "actually, that would be amazing. do you have any recommendations?"
you thought for a moment, trying to think of anyone who made have director experience. to be honest, you’d probably be the least helpful person in finding a director, but your nervousness around yeji led to you offering help. “i can ask my manager, if you’d like? she should know what to."
as you spoke, you couldn't help but notice the way yeji was looking at you. it was almost as if she were a predator looking at prey, but you brushed it off, telling yourself that you were just being paranoid. again. "i'll let you know as soon as i hear back from her," you added, trying to steer the conversation away from yeji's intense gaze.
"thank you so much, y/n," yeji said, her voice soft and low. "you know, you've been such a huge help to us lately. i really appreciate it."
you felt yourself become flustered, suddenly feeling uncomfortable under yeji's scrutiny. "oh! thanks but it's nothing, really. i'm just glad to be able to do this for the group."
"by the way," she motioned for you to follow her, "i have another song i feel fits your group. for the future, of course. if you're willing to hear it?"
you hesitated for a moment, unsure if you wanted to be alone with yeji again. but you didn't want to seem rude or ungrateful, so you nodded and followed her into a nearby empty practice room.
as yeji set up the song on the speakers, you couldn't help but feel nervous. you weren't sure if yeji genuinely wanted you to hear the song, or if she had ulterior motives.
the song started to play, and you found yourself surprised by how good it was. the melody was catchy, the lyrics were meaningful, and the production was top-notch. you couldn't help but feel yourself get lost in the beat.
"this is amazing, yeji," you said, genuinely impressed. "i could definitely see us performing this."
yeji grinned, her eyes lighting up. "thank you! i'm so glad you like it. i've been working on it for a while now, and i really wanted to get your opinion on it."
you felt a sense of relief wash over you after hearing yeji’s words. she did just want genuine feedback. maybe it was just a one-time thing. "it sounds great! i have no doubt the girls will like it too. when should we start recording?"
yeji's smile faltered slightly, and you wondered if you had said something wrong. "actually, that's why i wanted to talk to you," she said, her voice taking on a more serious tone. "i was hoping you could help me with the finishing touches."
you raised an eyebrow, unsure of what she meant. "what do you mean?"
yeji hesitated for a moment as if trying to find the right words. "well, i was thinking…you have such a good ear for music, and you're so talented. i was hoping you could help me with producing some elements for the song."
your heart skipped a beat. this was not what you were expecting. you had no experience in producing music, and you didn't want to get in over your head.
"i don't know, yeji," you said, trying to keep your voice calm. "i don't have any experience in producing. i don't want to ruin it or anything."
yeji's expression softened, and she stepped closer to you. "don't be so hard on yourself, y/n. you're an amazing producer. don't let the hate get to you. and besides, i'll be there every step of the way to help you."
you wanted to say no. you wanted to run out of the room and never look back. you never wanted to have to put yourself in such a vulnerable position again. but something about yeji's gaze, something about the way she was looking at you, made it impossible to refuse.
"okay," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "i'll help you."
yeji's smile was blinding, and she pulled you into a tight hug. "thank you so much, y/n. you have no idea how much this means to me." you wrapped your arms around yeji, shivering as she buried her nose into your neck.
"let me show you. show you how much this means to me."
you felt your breath hitch, pulling back to look at yeji. she looked at you with an expectant face, waiting on your next move. you never, ever, wanted to see the comments you saw during your first comeback.
"okay. show me."
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sirinoya · 1 year
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a transcription of the diaries/journals from the prismarine castle
i dont want to forget any of it, so i made this so i have easy access.. screenshots of the journal pages are after each journal transcription!
Edith's journals:
"Ice Wall" by Edith
It happened so fast, and it came out of nowhere! An ice wall split out city in HALF! I was busy doing errands when it happened. Our power regulators... they're encased. I'm at one of the towers writing this right now. Our bridges are flickering. This whole situation is looking pretty dire. I'm trying to stay calm and practical about it. I don't know whether or not Elise is over here yet, as I haven't gone looking. But if she's not here, then she must be on the other side, along with whoever else. Maybe this will be a temporary thing.. At least, hopefully our systems can get back to working before things become worse. Till next time.
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2. "Elise" by Edith
Oh Elise... It's horrible out there, and I hope, not as horrible over there. The council is trying to break through the ice—I fear it is too strong... Every day I examine the perimeter, but it is getting harder now that the vents are blocked. Water is seeping in and I've noticed it has climbed to my knees. Eventually, I won't be able to go down to the lower quarters. I pray to find a crack in the wall soon. I will get back to you. My Elise.
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3. "Accomodations" by Edith
The council has started to make decisions now for the 'greater good.' They are militarizing our situation. I feel as if I am a poseable doll. They are telling me to do this and that. We sleep on cots and eat portions which leave me hungrier than before. The water is now too high for me to walk through. I am stuck up with them. Without you... Elise, I hope your side is doing well. You might have fared luckier since Constatine is most likely with you. He knows how to guide us rightfully. Stay strong My Dove.
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4. "Decisions" by Edith
Elise. it is getting dire now on our side. Whispers are being shared of abandoning our homes and leaving. Leaving!? Pah! I've lived here all my life, and with you. Nothing else is out there worth my attention. Only you. Only these memories of us. I'll stay here instead, if they do decide to leave through the cobbled walls.
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4. "Cold" by Edith
It is getting colder in the air. My body shivers. The walls are getting crystalized by the ice. I can't even move if I wanted to... I can't feel much anymore either. I hope it's warmer over there for you, Elise.
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these are all the journals i saw. twitch has stopped working for me, though, so i haven't been able to check through apo, graecie, martyn and kuervo's group </3 someone please tell me if there's another! tyty
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(SAMS related)
Hey so maybe this is a stupid question, but I'm curious to hear your opinion....
What do you think they're doing with BloodMoon? On the one hand they're acknowledging how BloodMoons known nothing but hate and being used, which makes me sympathetic and seems to indicate a direction of change/redemption. But on the other hand, its FUCKING BLOODMOON. Hes garnered hate because hes an insane psychopath that has admitted that they enjoy the killing and dont see it as a curse. That's not someone you leave loose or free. It seems that solution is to kill them again, but that also seems like a waste cuz they JUST came back and now have a custom VR model.
I dunno, I'm sorry for rambling, I just want to hear what others think. Cuz to me they're giving us plenty of reasons and tidbits to want a BloodMoon redemption of some sort, but BloodMoon has seemed to make it very clear that they dont want to stop being the bloodthirsty killing machine and have "killed" and/or burned bridges with the individuals who would have TRIED to accept them. So I'm confused on how to feel and what to think....
I don't know honestly.
On one hand, they point out constantly BloodMoon's abandonment issues and him being constantly used as a tool.
While I am disappointed with how KC's death was handled, I do agree that he needed to be fridged by Bloodmoon in this case. (I just wish the circumstances aligned so KC didn't antagonize him for no reason and didn't throw his life away for no reason. And due to his inaction caused many more homeless people to possibly die, and now it seems like he was just feeding the homeless for clout on tinder and not genuinely care about these people.... I honestly find the stupid easy jabs at the homeless in the sams series kinda gross and while it has been toned down I still wish it would stop all together...)
And what I really think will happen, Bloodmoon wants to be fixed... but since his introduction... Bloodmoon (well, the old Bloodmoon, not the Bloodmoon based on Ruin's SAMS wiki lore... cause remember. This is Bloodmoon 2.0 with not all his memories in tact.)
He did seem to lament that he had these bloody cravings.
youtube
Yeah. I haven't forgotten this episode. Released on the Day of the actual Blood Moon.
(I kinda miss when they used to talk with their hands to convey which twin was which)
It was the first time we as a fanbase realized that his urge to kill is more of an addiction and he has said as much a few times.
And retrospectively, looking back on this episode, (cus at this point I didn't care about bloodmoon back then. It always takes me a bit to warm up to a new SAMS character) Bloodmoon is exceedingly lonely.
He has himself. But that's all. no one will ever really get him or understand him. And I think there's a great lament with that. Being unable to be understood from anyone outside of your twin or 'other'. Yeah, you have eachother, but no one else.
I'm wondering if Bloodmoon 2.0 has this episode in his memories. As he seems to be determined to rip and tear and kill.
My working theory right now is that Nice Eclipse WILL fix Bloodmoon as he wants..... but he'll also fix his cravings.
The best case scenario is that Bloodmoon will only crave shades of red.... and rare steaks....
or... this might cause complications in the duality of their nature, and maybe one of the twins might get broken, with the other needing to be alone for the first time since they woke up.
I don't know. I really think Nice Eclipse will pull through... and give Bloodmoon everything he wants, and more. Because I don't think Eclipse will readily fix Bloodmoon in his entirety and just let a homicidal maniac run loose and terrorizing everyone.
Bloodmoon was the only person Sun felt guilty about, and even Old Moon felt as if Bloodmoon, given enough time and the right circumstances could change.
We also know that Ruin Eclipse is possessed by the Ruin Virus. So he isn't in his right mind, and can easily be redeemed as well. He just needs that virus out of him.
I'm already seeing a lot of parallels with the Eclipse and Lunar takeover. And How Lunar was developing more as a person and strongly learning Eclipse was bad for him and the side of good.
Meanwhile, Bloodmoon is slowly figuring out that he's been used his whole life and he no longer wants to be a weapon for others. The only way he can prevent himself from being a tool in this way, is to not play the game.
Which I think Nice Eclipse is the key.
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dapg-otmebytheballs · 3 months
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im so sorry youre receiving backlash from these people. why is it that every time someone calls out racism they take it as personal? why arent they ready to have these discussions to improve a fandom space to make it more inclusive? thats not too much to ask. the reason u, @/demonqueenart @/lesbianphan and others are talking about this is to bring these issues to the forefront when in places like this racism has high chances of running rampant. is that so hard to understand? esp when we have had quite frequently seen that dnp, adults with quite good critical thinking, have never stopped to acknowledge their microaggressions, present or past? we as poc have no obligation to be understanding about that, but we are. because in a community, you try to make things better. THATS what a community is. you look at flaws and instead of burning bridges you try to make it accommodating for everyone. and by that I mean EVERYONE. if the people pouring hate into others inboxes do not understand that, then they have a LOT of self reflection to do.
as an indian, i got so fucking uncomfortable when i heard dan talk about his frequent vacations in the country. because when you live there and know all of the colonial implications and the other party doesnt, you arent in a position to do anything about it. so you let it go.
there is no need to stay quiet about this. because clearly the moment you stay quiet people are starting to try to bury the hatchet.
ps: you dont have to answer or even reply to this. i know these conversations are fucking exhausting and i dont want to burden you more than you already are.
Thanks for the message ❤️ yeah idek what more to say here for every few minutes of feeling hopeful from people being receptive there's another hour of feeling absolutely invisible, like woah sorry this was hard for y'all to hear XD sorry I'm making your feel awkward or dirty or whatever, but it's frankly your responsibility to learn and grow you're grown adults now jfc
Gonna reblog my post about the indian colonial thingy too since many people don't know how very Obvious these things are to us, but if you guys don't engage with us when we try to teach you you'll never learn will you? What more can we do?
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osarina · 4 months
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I JUST GOT AROUND TO READING I, CARRION AND UGH!!
“there’s a lecherous smile on Albatross’s face as he leans against the frame and looks at you, glasses hanging off the bridge of his nose. ‘Damn, if you weren’t the boss’s girl…’” awww stop it you’ll make me blush
THE SCENE W DAZAI FINDING US NOT READY YET “It’s not silly if it has you upset,” kisses on the nape of the neck and then kissing our ankles & buckling our heels >>>>>> “I’m sorry that I’m not a good enough man to do what’s right and let you go.” hey so what if i started violently sobbing. “but if fate brought us together, then far be it from me to deny the one thing in this world that has ever made me happy.” HEY SO WHAT IF I STARTED VIOLENTLY SOBBING.
“Still, he wants to gouge their eyes out.” if my man doesn’t want to gouge out people’s eyes just for looking at me, i don’t want him ‼️‼️
“My, Dazai, possessive, aren’t you?” “Very,” Dazai agrees idly. “Be sure to remember that.” bringing his hand up from your waist to cup your cheek, thumb brushing over your bottom lip as he murmurs, “That’s my girl, always so smart.” blushing giggling kicking my feet twirling my hair
“Fyodor Dostoevsky. A pleasure, truly.” oh no. oh no no no no no. that’s not good.
one more thing, i noticed that you kinda like made up your own characters (which was super cool and really creative btw!!) could you explain how/why you chose the specific authors you did? and i’m assuming you got their group names from something they wrote, any reason you chose those works in particular? (these are the ones i’m talking about: Mishima Yukio of the Sun and Steel, Nabokov’s Pale Flame, Leo Tolstoy’s Three Deaths, Cao Xueqin of the Red Chamber, Kitazawa Michihiro of Fuji Electric)
ty for listening to my ramblings once again ily !!
TUMBLR USER PE4RL-DIVER UGHHHHHH I LOVE YOU WHENEVER I SEE U IN MY NOTIFS IM SO HEART EYES
albatross is truly her no1 fan in this fic and she adores him <3 dazai is so not unsubtly jealous of him whenever she talks to him. gets all side eyed and irritated and then has to hide it whenever she looks at him LOLLLLL meanwhile albatross is just pleased that dazai is no longer an emotionless brick wall with a quick trigger finger
WHEN I TELL U THAT SCENE WAS ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE EVER i actually struggled so much writing it not because it was hard to write just because i was yearning so terrible for him LOLLLLL HAHAHAH
</33333 we all need our own beastzai truly life is so unfair he's so perfect
OMGGGGGGGG actually thats my favorite part of writing series/long one shots. i adore being able to build up new characters and organizations. usually i pull them just from some of my favorite authors/works (i cheated with the one electric company its actually just a real company because i got lazy) BUTTTTT mishima is obviously my go to just because there's lowkey already been reference to him and his works in the series but no mention of him, so he's my favorite to build and explore. and then i dont know why but i always have the russian underground divided by three (tolstoy, dostoevsky, nabokov) and usually in a constant territory struggle. of the two ive built up, nabokov is usually the one i use the most because ive hced that he worked with the previous boss pretty often before things went to shit. but i've actually built tolstoy's organization more than his - the three deaths is led by a triumvirate of tolstoy, gorky, and cheknov who were all contemporaries and had were associated with each other. and actually fun fact, i plan on doing a fic with a reader who takes the place of cheknov as one of the three deaths so we're going to see more from them. cao xueqin wrote one of the 4 great classical novels of chinese literature. my fyozai fic i've also built a new organization for - they're based in italy and are in constant conflict with the clocktower, but i don't wanna give anything away because u shall see when i finally post that
maybe one day ill do a whole little page for the organizations ive built & their references in my fics for u guys to look at if ur interested!!
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oxpogues4lifexo · 10 days
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Keeping up with the Camerons
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Keeping up with the Camerons
Episode 1 - Kildare Royalty - Part 3
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Episode transcript (/ means cut scene, bold italics means narrator, bold means host)
Word Count: 3K
Part 2 Here
"Are you having a girls night tonight? Seeing as everyone's here!"
"What do you mean? Sorry. Bella isn't here?" She tilts her head in confusion, having to push her glasses back up the bridge of her nose.
Ryan sniffles, holding back an obvious laugh, "Bella's.. Bella's on the boat! You didn't know that?"
"Bella's here??" Her demeanour changes. Her body lifts as her eyes light up, a soft smile taking her lips. She grips onto the edge of the couch to hold herself from getting up.
"Uh yes she is!" There's a small pause. Ryan watches Wheezie as if she was about to say something and Wheezie waits for Ryan to move the conversation along, feeling slightly uncomfortable in the silence.
He coughs and his fingers find his hair, "Would you uh.." He contemplates his next words not knowing if he should cut the interview short or not. "Do you want to go?"
You see her lips quiver, her mouth opening and closes contemplating the same exact thought before settling back down into the couch. "No, no.. I shouldn't! I mean.. I can see her later!" The tone of her voice was evidently disappointed. With how sweet she's been and how patient she was Ryan couldn't help but feel bad for her determination for the show; when everyone else was quick to move on.
"No it's fine you go! We had finished the questions anyways." He gives her a reassuring smile as he stands up. He lied straight through his teeth it was obvious. This whole time there were no set questions. Anyone could've known that. But with Wheezie's mind somewhere else she didn't even think to question him.
Her lips grow wider as she lifts herself from the couch, opening her arms wide to gesture a hug. Ryan takes the opportunity, gently patting her back and whispering in her ear.
Barely made out by the camera, "You deserve it.."
She smiles once more, waving bye to the camera before running off quickly outside.
/
"Sarah I didn't want to bring this up but I'm not sure what else to ask really. Wheezie told me that you and Bella don't like each other. Why?"
"Uhh.. I dont understand? I never said I don't like her? We just don't talk."
"Sarah?" A small voice radiates through the air causing the blonde to look away from the camera.
"Hey Wheez, you okay?"
"Yeah. Um.. Topper wants you!" She plays with the string of her bikini that she only just changed into from the boat.
"Okay. Well Ryan said we're finished so I'll be out in a second!"
"Okayyyy!" Wheezie skips off back outside.
/
And with that the interviews were done.
More will be revealed throughout the rest of the week so don't worry about the lack of questions. We're finding everything out at the same time as the rest of you!
Whilst Rose makes dinner and Ward gives us a tour, the kids take some time to rest on the boat. The cameramen and I will join them but after today, all filming at home will be done by pre-setup cameras. You'll see me around from time to time but other than that, my time here in TannyHill has come to an end!
Thank you.
/
"Oh my god??"
"Topper stop your gonna get hurt!"
"Top your not close enough!"
"Rafe??"
"What's going on here?" Ryan steps into the boat, the sudden shock causes Topper to lose his footing and fall off the edge of the boat, a big splash of water hitting everyone close enough, including Ryan.
The kids all can't help but laugh, Rafe's radiates in the air whilst Wheezie covers her mouth, knowing she shouldn't really be laughing. The only person not to laugh would be Sarah. She quickly runs over to the edge of the boat and leans over, giving Topper her hand to pull him back up.
"Thanks.." He wraps his arms round himself as he tries his best not to shiver whilst Bella runs inside to grab him a towel.
"Um. Im sorry I didn't mean to scare you."
Topper scoffs, "Scare me? You didn't scare me don't worry. I just.. slipped!"
Kelce and Rafe both look at one another, whispering something inaudible to the cameras.
"Top you wouldn't have fallen if you weren't scared!" Bella mocks as she hands him the towel, his eyes snap to her. She giggles quietly as she stares back, "What's wrong?"
"Say that again Bells.. I dare you!"
She shrugs, dropping herself beside Rafe, his grip on her waist was tight enough that she wasn't scared for Toppers reaction, "Okay! You wouldn't have fallen if you weren't scared!" She giggles again, this time slightly muffled as Topper jumps for her, the towel falling off him as he chases Bella inside.
"For fuck sake.." An unfamiliar voice speaks up. Ryan and the others look over at him.
"Cal I swear just leave her be for once." He mumbles sharply, eyes burrowing into Callum's skull.
Despite Rafe's attempt at stopping his next move, Callum ignores him and gets up anyways.
"Dude?? It's not like he's gonna hurt her. Jesus calm down!" Kelce steps in, as he noticed the look in Rafe's eyes.
//
"Rafe can't stand the way Cal treats Bella. It's obvious I'm sure you've all noticed it too. But to be fair we all can't. It's not like Topper did anything wrong and as far as we all knew, Bella was smiling and laughing and everything. She was fine. Cal was just being unnecessary!" Kelce states, later on in the evening. The air was cooler and the sky was dark. He was outside by the pool, slightly private from the rest of his friends in the living room. The host was taking turns to pull them out separately to speak on the day. Just like he did with the rest of the family earlier.
//
Callum takes a glance at Kelce before noticing a camera inside the boat. Whatever happens, it'd be caught on camera. He has nothing to worry about. Without a word he sits himself back down next to Rafe.
"Dude just gotta chill alright." Rafe slaps his arm.
Ryan places himself on the edge of the boat as he watches Topper and Bella come back outside, Bella now on his back giggling to herself.
"Wheezie!" Roses voice appears from around the corner. Wheezie's eyes widen and she quickly runs off back down the dock. Sarah also lifts herself from the chair, "I'm gonna go too.." she mutters to Topper before placing a kiss to his cheek and stepping away from the boat.
/
"Sarah's avoiding the cameras! She hates it. Unless it's about her or she's asked a question she has no reason to be on it and therefore she won't be. It's fair enough. I just don't get it tho like this shows about her you know?" Topper explains as he runs his fingers through his golden strands.
/
"Well.. nice to meet you all!"
Everyone repeats his words back as they turn themselves to face the camera. "Well Rafe mentions how you've all been friends for some time. How did that all start?"
They all look at one another waiting for someone to answer. No one does for an awkward minute so Bella speaks up, "Well I mean, after mine and Cals dad passed we moved in here with Rafe. And by that point he was already friends with Topper and Kelce so we all just got close through each other!"
"Bella, Sarah mentioned how you two don't talk anymore? Why?"
Her shoulders shrug as her eyes follow to her brother. "I'm not too sure. We were friends for a few years and then she kinda just.. stopped talking to me. I don't know people grow out of things I guess.."
"Oh that's a shame. But you have these four now!"
"Yep! And I wouldn't change it for anything!" She smiles softly, the boys coo at her as Rafe wraps his arm round her neck, pulling her closer to his chest. He places a kiss to her head as the other boys start making out with the air.
Bella giggles at the joke but Cal wasn't taking it as he chucks an empty can at their heads, ultimately silencing the group.
The awkward silence causes a few quiet giggles which soon erupt into a mass of laughter.
One look at the other and they cracked. So they forced themselves to stop and look anywhere but each other.
"You guys seem like you get along very well-" A few snickers follow, "In every group there's a dynamic right? Like the funny one or the smart one. What would you all name yourselves?"
They all look around as silence hits once more.
Bella looks up at Rafe and immediately her eyes light up, pushing herself to sit up using his thigh. "Rafe's the 'slut' of the group!" The others begin laughing again as Rafes faces scrunches, his head tilts to her as his eyes sit wide. He lets out a small sigh, "I can't argue with that to be fair."
"He literally tells me, in detail, every little thing that happens on a date. Like it's everyday there's someone new and I don't actually care."
"I thought you know.. cos you're the 'virgin' of the group you'd wanna know?"
Her mouth falls as she smacks his chest, "Your an asshole!"
He laughs at her expression, before soon apologising quietly.
"Nah l'd say that Bella's definitely the mum of the group!" Topper finally admits, his giggles finally subsiding.
"Oh yeah totally!" Kelce agrees as Bella's smile comes back, her head turning towards them shyly as a small blush takes her cheeks.
"The other day we came to hers after we got into a fight-"
Bella sighs, lifting her hand up to the camera in shock, "With my best friend by the way!"
"Oh yeah! She has OTHER friends!" Rafe scoffs jokingly as she rolls her eyes.
"Yeah one!"
"Two.." he corrects, earning him another smack, this time to his arm.
"Anyway.." Kelce chuckles as his and Toppers eyes stick on the other two for a while. "Yeah okay we got into a fight with her friend-"
"Who, may I ask?"
"Uh JJ Maybank!" Bella blurts out proudly, a smile taking her lips as her cheeks redden once again. Cal groans at the name and Rafe scoffs.
//
"I swear to God everytime I speak about him, it's made out like such a big deal. It's not. We're just friends?"
//
"We were like bleeding and shit, bare in mind this was like three in the morning! And she came and cleaned us all up and then slept in the living room with us."
"To be fair we're only still all alive cos of Bella so.. thanks!" Topper laughs.
She smiles at the camera, shrugging her shoulders, "What can I say!"
They all laugh with her before Ryan, again, cuts the moment short. "So how did you and JJ meet then? Seeing as he is on the other side of the island!"
"Well I mean I met him through John B! John B works for Ward and I go with him whenever he goes down to the docks. So yeah me and John B got close but me and JJ got closer!"
"Unfortunately.." Rafe mutters and Bella shoots him a dirty look, Kelce pipes up, "To be fair he's not wrong! Whats wrong with us? The Kooks not good enough for you?" He mocks knowing he's getting under her skin.
"I.. obviously not! You guys are family to me! I just sometimes want to talk about you guys with someone else."
"Wait-"
"What??"
She giggles, "I'm joking dickheads!"
"Bella, sorry to ask but-" just those few words caught Cal's attention. He looks up at him suddenly, eyes sharp and brows furrowed.
Bella looks up at him too, but with the opposite complexion; her face holding a sweet smile.
"Earlier, when you were on the phone with Rafe, you sounded upset. What happened?"
"Dude what the fuck? Why's that got anything to do with you??" Rafe interrupts, his voice harsh. His eyes cutting deep into Ryan as his hand finds Bella's back; pulling her in slightly.
Her eyes widen as she takes a glance at him, "Rafe.??"
"No! He's got no business being all in your fucking issues this ain't the Brooks show??"
"You gonna ask actual questions or you gonna leave? We were fine here without you bothering us!" Callum states plainly, bored of the constant interrogation. His body shifts to sit closer to Bella, facing away slightly so she was partly hidden from the camera.
"Oh my god.. I'm sorry! Maybe we could talk another time?" Bella's face falls as her mouth sits agape, her eyes glassy as a slight shakiness fills her words.
"No you wont!!" Callum orders forcefully.
Rafe smirks, lifting a hand to the camera as the other sits tighter round Bella's waist, holding her back from being able to move, "Bye Bye now!" He waves them away.
When they don't budge, Callum stands up and before he could even take a step, the camera crew and Ryan were gone.
//
"Yeah so uh.. they're just a 'little' protective? It doesn't take much to piss them off really. Even if it's not, if they think somethings bothering me they have no issues to deal with it right then and there. I just didn't expect it on camera! Sorry. But um.. yeah the question you asked! I don't feel comfortable answering, sorry. But I'm fine! Promise!"
/
"Bella hates when Rafe and Cal get up in her business. Like she tries so hard to be nice and they make her seem worse. I get it I do, but she kinda signed up for it when she became friends with us!" Topper chuckles, shrugging his shoulders.
//
Rose finished up dinner and Ward finished with the tour, and after the small interviews with the family, everyone sits down for dinner around the dining table.
Whilst the family have their dinner I'll take this moment to say thank you for watching! It was a pleasure filming and making this for you. The Camerons are, well sometimes, are a delight to be around! And we can't wait to show you more. This has been Keeping up with the Camerons!
Oh! And before you go, look at this gem we caught that night.
/
"Rafe.." Bella mumbles. It was dark, too dark that the camera could barely make out her figure as she leans over the edge of the couch.
Rafe lay on the floor next to her, Callum by her feet and Topper and Kelce on the other chairs.
It was late, around 1 in the morning.
"Rafe.!" She repeats, this time Rafe hears and covers his eyes with his arm.
"Mm."
"I can't sleep.."
Rafe opens his eyes finally, lifting himself onto his elbows to get a better view of her in the dark. "Why not.?"
"I don't know." She plays with the blanket that lay on her. His eyes follow her fingers as his concern grew.
"You don't know..?"
"Mm.. maybe because of the cameras?"
Rafe frowns and looks around, not realising there were any in the room, "They're still on..?"
"Mhm they're always on Rafe."
"Shit.." He watches her for a minute, running his hand through his hair before lifting it to take hers. "Okay.. You wanna go sleep in my room.?"
"Umm.." Her eyes drift away, Rafe catches her face in the moonlight as she looks around the room with a slight frown.
After she doesn't answer he stands up, reaching out his hand to take hers, "Come on.."
She doesn't hesitate to take his hand. He guides her up the stairs and they stop by his bedroom door. Bella looks over his shoulder at the two cameras sat in the hall. He realises what she's looking at and takes her hands, "Hey.. don't let the cameras get to you okay.?"
She sighs, looking down at their hands as she swings them side to side, "That's easier said than done Rafey.."
"I know I know.. sorry.. but just.. I mean it. Pretend they're not there!"
"Mmmm.." She wines, bouncing up and down. Her tiredness and frustration adding up into one big pile of upset.
Rate follows her eyes, tucking her hair behind her ear and resting his hands on her shoulders, "I know Bells.. but it's just a stupid show my dad wanted to do. If you want a camera off I'll make them turn it off. You want something cut out the show? Then I'll make that happen, okay? You just worry about being your pretty self and I'll deal with the rest. Does that sound like a good deal..?"
She lets out a soft giggle as her eyes finally take his own, "Yeah.. thank you for understanding.."
" 'course Bells. I'll always understand okay? Now go get some sleep.." He kisses her forehead, watching her for a moment before going over to the stairs.
"Rafe..?" Bella steps forward slightly, getting Rafe's attention as he turns back.
"Mhm?"
She stops a moment, and picks at her fingernails, "Love you." She whispers softly.
Rafe can't help but break a smile, taking in one last look at her; she stood in his top that was way too big for her, covering everything that needed to be covered.
"Love you too Bee, now go to bed!" He raises his eyebrows. Bella can't take him seriously and lets out a small giggle before nodding and going into his room.
Rafe stands there a moment; watching the door close behind her. He smiles once more before shaking his head and going back downstairs to sleep.
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Ajax - Not you
Warnings: High Ajax, Y/n starting arguments for why?, drugs, angst, fluff, DONT DO DRUGS KIDS
It was 1 am and a soft knock at the door awoke Ajax from his 'state'. He groaned in annoyance, hoping his roommate Xavier would open the door. 
Since Rowan got expelled, Xavier started to share his dorm with Ajax and right now he wished he never moved in because the first knock was practically silent and it profoundly got louder each minute.
"XaViEr.." Ajax cracked his voice out and turned his head towards his roommates bed, only to not find him there. 
Ajax facepalmed mentally and got up from the desk he was trying to sleep on for some reason and dragged his feet towards the door. "Who is it?" he asked in annoyance.
"Baby? can i come in please? We have the nightshades meeting tonight remember?" A soft voice called out.
Ajax's droopy eyes half lit up and he opened the door and pulled the knocker into hug.
"Its my N/nnnnnnn...." He said baby like. 
Y/n shut the door with her foot and broke the hug to look at her boyfriend properly.
"Jax, why are your eyes droopy and red?" she asked with a bit of worry and grabbed his face to inspect it a bit better. "Are you sick? why does it smell weird in here too?" she looked around the room and there it was.
4 joints (in the UK we call them zoots if you were wondering :D) on the desk Ajax was trying to sleep on. Y/n shook her head and placed her index finger and thumb on the bridge of her nose.
It wasn't the first time Y/n caught him like this. Normally, he would be asleep and she would find them in the bin or peaking out of his pillowcase. 
She never really saw him high and to be honest, she never wanted to ask.
Ajax followed Y/n's previous gaze and opened his mouth.
"Cara mia, i can explain about those but i can't find the right words" Y/n put one hand behind his neck and sighed in defeat.
"You know what? you don't have to explain anything." She let go of her boyfriend and walked towards the desk. 
Ajax scratched the top of his hat in confusion. "Ill get high with you." she shrugged and picked up on of the joints.
Ajax widened his eyes in fear, he didn't look like he took drugs anymore. Instead, he walked up towards his girlfriend without tripping or stumbling like he would normally do.
He took the blunt from her hand and placed it down. Before Y/n could say anything, Ajax put a hand in front of her mouth.
"Not you my darling. Y-you can't take it."
"What why?"
"Just not you okay? Anyone but you. How about you go to the nightshades meeting without me and tell the others ill be there tomorrow. Please."
Ajax let go of Y/n and encouraged her to leave the dorm by extending his arm like a gentleman to lead her out but Y/n, like the stubborn independent woman she is, didn't let go of her boyfriend.
"Babe, this isn't the first time knowing you take drugs. I've seen you like ten times and i've never asked or stopped you. So, why are you stopping me?" she snapped. Ajax sighed in annoyance and put both of his hands on the side of her face.
"You listen to me Y/n M/n L/n. I take this crap when i have shitty days and i don't wanna talk about it. This is my way of coping and if you do it too, it will just ruin you and i don't want you to end up like some stoner idiotic loser like me." 
So many questions were running through Y/n's head, she pushed away his hands away from her face.
"When you have shitty days? really?. I thought we talked about everything together! I thought when you had shitty days, you would sneak into my dorm and cuddle me! but no, you just do that for the sake of it don't you? the real coping method for you is smoking this shit!?" 
Y/n wanted to cry, but she stood her ground and Ajax grumbled.
"That's not what i meant N/n... I love cuddling with you. It's like im on cloud 9 whenever im with you. It's just, i can't worry you all the time you know? just throwing pressure onto you, only for it to get better the next day. It's not fair on you baby. I need to be the one there for you but i do such a shitty job."
Suddenly, all of the rage had vanished. Somehow the floor managed to suck out the venom in her veins and he gazed softened
"Ajax...i didn't know. Baby, im so sorry!" The H/c haired girl clung onto her boyfriend and he hugged her right back. "And your not a bad boyfriend or a loser! You're literally everything i asked for! even more! Your existence, your presence. That's what keeps me going."
Ajax smiled into her hair and kissed her forehead lovingly.
"But obviously, if doing this helps you cope, then i understand. I just care about your health you know?"
Ajax shook his head reluctantly.
"No baby.. you're right" 
He broke the hug and held both of his girlfriends soft hands in his big rough ones. "I promise, from now on ill stop. I love you" He smiled and tilted her chin up for her to meet his gaze.
Y/n smiled and kissed her boyfriend. Lingering her lips on his longer than usual and Ajax couldn't get enough of her .
"I love you more baby." 
The couple then walked towards Ajax's bed and cuddled. They both held onto each other like there was no tomorrow.
Few hours later, Xavier walked in and inspected his best friends bed to find Ajax's head laying on Y/n's chest and Y/n's head was on top of his.
"They deserve each other." Xavier smiled to himself to find that his friends eventually found each other and despite some differences, they made it work.
Xavier pulled his phone out of his pocket and took a picture of the two sleeping so he could tease them about it tomorrow.
"Damn, i need a girlfriend too." He mentally noted.  
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