#other than the bad BO and the annoying kid beside me it’s been pretty good so far

[tamagochiie]

doing groceries w/ the msby four

character roster: sakusa kiyoomi, bokuto kotaro, hinata shoyo, atsumu miya 

genre: fluff, just a little angst (in bokuto’s part), established relationship 

a/n: i broke my glasses today, so i had to go out and get it fixed, but my favorite eye glasses store went MIA. so not only am i blind, but i’m also sad as hell. but i was able to think of a cute lil one shot while i was walking around the grocery store. 

also please don’t mind if there’s a few grammar errors uwu 

-- sakusa kyoomi 

the exact same way your mom holds your hand while wandering around the store is exactly what he’ll do to you

he doesn’t want you wandering away from him or accidentally break something he’ll have to end up paying for

the latter can be blamed on the one (and only) time he and bokuto did groceries together; tiny baby couldn’t stop touching things, he ended up breaking a vase

he also doesn’t want you catching other people’s germs

the whole ordeal gives him anxiety 

“Kiyoooomi~,” You whine, trying to slip away from his grip only to have him tighten it. You grumble your distaste for your boyfriend’s attitude. 

It’s been a whole hour since you’ve stepped into the store and he hasn’t let you go since. And though you usually wouldn’t mind it, the urge to pee comes to you in a surprise and you’ve been wanting to go to the bathroom for the last twenty minutes. 

But it’s not like your boyfriend cares enough to spare you a moment alone to alleviate yourself. He’d rather you wait a little longer until you get home, but his painstakingly slow pace down the aisle has you internally screaming. 

He’s got one hand tightly threaded between your fingers and the other pushing the cart. His eyes scan over the many canned vegetables before him, ignoring your protest and complaints. 

“You’re usually annoying about wanting to hold my hand,” He says through his mask, sighing deeply. “I’m hurt you all of a sudden wanna let go.” 

You glare at him and his cheap attempt to make you feel guilty. “You and I both know exactly why you’re holding my hand, and it’s got nothing to do with affection.” 

You squeeze your thighs together, doing a little dance to calm the urge to pee. Your eyes burn holes into your Sakusa’s skin and you hope its enough to make him uncomfortable, but he takes it well. 

“We’re almost done,” He tells you, taking a can off the shelf with his free hand. “I just need to get tissues and then we’re--”

“Sakusa Kiyoomi, if you don’t let me go right this second, I’ll pee on your hand right here, right now!” 

Without a second thought, he slaps your hand out of his hold, grimacing at you and your threatening words, muttering words of disgust beneath his mask as you sprint to the nearest restroom. 

-- bokuto kotaro 

you have to remind bokuto not to touch things before you leave the house AND before you get into the store

mans will touch every thing he sees without QUESTION;

shiny pan? cute little bear shaped spoons? anime themed plates? he’ll pick it up, bring it up to the light to inspect it, and because his hands are naturally sweaty, he might break a few

and you’re wallet runs dry by the time you walk out of that store

“That’ll be an extra 2,581 yen.” The cashier holds her hand out as you place your money onto the palm of your hand. It takes everything in you not to grab a shard of glass and dig it into your boyfriend’s thigh. 

You nod curtly before grabbing the rest of your bags and exiting the store. 

Bokuto shadows over you, but still gives you enough space to breathe. He’ll hover his hands over yours, trying to taking a couple of weight from your grasp as you walk back to the car but you shift away. 

He pouts. The rest of the walk is dead silent, but even you can hear the little whines in his heart, all the mental kicking he’s giving himself for doing exactly what you told him not to do. 

He’ll help you pack the groceries into the car, and you leave him to do the rest and get inside the car, sitting in the passenger seat. You feel the car wobble when he closes the trunk and sits beside you soon after. 

Like a dog with it’s ears, Bokuto’s hair falls down to his face. You begin to feel bad for giving him a bit of the cold shoulder, but you told him not to touch the plate, to put it back. But Bokuto being Bokuto, he couldn’t help but pick it up, inspect it, and even scratch the little paintings of the oranges to check if there was a scent. 

And because he’s clumsier than ever, he dropped it while twirling it in his hands. Which leads you to now. 

The soft hum of the car fills the dead air between you both. Bokuto shyly glances at you, still pouting. You take a deep breath, closing your eyes as you rest your head back. 

You feel him take your hand, tracing circles over it before he brings it up against his cheek. He presses little kisses onto you skin, mumbling a string of apologies. 

You turn your head, flicking your eyes open to meet his eyes, tears brimming at the waterline. 

You bring your other hand to cup the other side of his face, your smile lopsided as you feel your boyfriend trembling in your hold. 

“Are you still mad at me?” He asks, eyes averting away from yours and not the material of your jeans. “I’m really sorry for breaking something again...” 

“My little love,” You sigh, your warm breath fanning against his blushing cheeks. “What am I gonna do with someone as clumsy as you? You’re gonna make me broke, Bo.” 

He smiles at the nickname, assuring him he’s still within the safety of you love. “So you don’t hate me?” 

You bring his forehead close to yours so he can hear you loud and clear when you say, “I’ll never hate you, but if you end up breaking another thing, I’ll cut up all your volleyball jersies. Understood?” 

Its a shaky laugh that leaves his lips, but he nods his head. “Understood. 

-- atsumu miya 

you’ll find him in the fresh produce section

he’s knocking against the watermelon with a tight fist, and you think its pretty cute of him putting effort into looking for fresh fruit 

but in reality he has no clue what he’s doing 

he’s seen osamu do it before and he’s always wanted to try 

you eventually catch onto the gimmick when he starts slapping the mangos, too 

You chew onto the bottom of you lip, using all the energy you have left from wandering around looking for Atsumu to bite down your urge to laugh. 

Your boyfriend looks quite serious, gaze fixed at the mango cradled in the palm of his hand. He slaps it a few times before bringing it up to his ear, listening to it as if there’s a whole ocean speaking to him. 

He’s oblivious to the judging glances and amused stares, too absorbed whatever it is he’s doing. 

You want to stop him, call his name so you can both head to check out. But the scene unravelling before you is too funny--even more so when he puts the mango down and reaches for the apple, slapping it as well before pressing it against his ear. 

You know you shouldn’t, but you pull out your phone to take a picture, immediately sending it to Osamu. You quietly accept the fate of future you before calling out to your boyfriend. 

-- hinata shoyo 

he’s kinda like bokuto except he knows not to test you 

but he is the type to add a bunch of things in the cart that you weren’t planning on buying

you won’t even notice until you’re at the check out counter

and he’ll justify every single thing he’s put in the cart 

“Shoyo, no.” You glare at him, resting your hands onto your hips as you scold him in the middle of the check-out counter. The poor cashier tries to mind her business as you and your childlike boyfriend bicker over which items go and which stay. “Why the hell do we need a glow in the dark flashlight? We have still have a perfectly good one at home!” 

“Yes, but this one’s my favorite color!” You feel your eye twitching at his counter argument, not entirely sure if you’re talking to a kid or your adult boyfriend. “AND how are you gonna find the flashlight in the dark? If we get the glow in the dark one, it’ll be easier to find!” 

You hear a quiet mumble of agreement coming from the cashier and the people behind you. A very soft, “Well, he’s got a point,” hanging above you. 

You pinch your nose, sighing heavily as you near your defeat. But you don’t want to give in just yet. “Shoyo, we can’t buy everything in this cart.This is all way too much.” 

His smile falters and you roll your eyes. You pick out the foot cream from the cart, “Why do you need this? You already have one at home.” 

“But they didn’t have coconut before.” He replies, not at all sensing your irritation. 

You dig your hand back into the pile, reaching for anything random. You bite into your cheek when you see what’s in your hand. Hinata opens his mouth to protest, but you speak before he can even mutter a sound. “No.” 

“But--” 

“Absolutely not.” 

“But it’s so cute!” 

“Hinata Shoyo, I will not bring another cat themed item into my house just because your best friend tells you to!” 

[muwi-translates]

剣が君 スキット限定版特典ドラマCD 「旅の宴は無礼講で」

Ken ga Kimi Tokuten Drama CD - Free Talk at the Trip’s Banquet

Fluffy 30 minute or so drama. No spoilers. From Chinese source, expect some errors.

**Please don’t move this translation or claim it as your own.**

---

Track 1

Kei: Aah… that was a good bath. Hm? Why are you guys sitting in a circle?

Enishi: Ah, Kei, you’re just in time.

Kei: What does that mean? Oi, what’s with the sake bottle? And why five of them?

Tsuzuramaru: Enishi brought it back from a sake dealer! We also have dishes to go with it too. Oh! These pickles are pretty good!

Suzukake: Ah! Enishi said we’re not allowed to eat before the banquet starts! You’re so sly, Tsuzuramaru! 

Kei: Huh? A banquet?

Enishi: That's right! I’ve prepared for us to drink from now on! We should all try to improve our relationship together, so I, the unrivaled and considerate Enishi, have put together this banquet! 

Tsuzuramaru: But what about the guards in the princess' room?

Enishi: They said Yagyu-dono and Hanzo-dono will guard for us tonight. Yagyu-dono even said that we should get to know each other better. Besides, if we drink in here, if anything happened to the princess we’d be able to rush over there quickly, right?

Tsuzuramaru: Oh~ as expected of Yagyu-dono! He’s such a reasonable person.

Suzukake: Yep! I also want to get closer to everyone!

Sakyo: Ha…. I have opposed this from the start. But they were insistent on drinking and would not listen to me. Kei-dono, say something to persuade them.

Kei: Hmph. Ridiculous, we’re just guards, what’s the point of knowing each other better?

Tsuzuramaru: Well… you can’t say that… compared to being suspicious of each other… of course… it would be better to be honest with each other… and it’ll also prevent any unnecessary conflicts in the future… 

Kei: If you’re gonna continue, either stick to eating or talking!

Saneaki: It is as Tsuzuramaru-dono said. We were always so cautious on the road, and whenever we arrived at an inn, we would eat and then go to sleep. There was no time for us to get familiar with each other.

Enishi: Exactly! This is an important banquet for our cooperation in the future~ 

Kei: Right, as if that’s not a glorified excuse for you to just drink.

Enishi: All right, all right, Kei, come and sit down. The night is long, but still young~ First, let’s fill up the cups… Sakyo, come and get yours.

Sakyo: Good grief… then I will accompany you for one drink. But I hope you will allow me to go and rest early. 

Enishi: What are you saying? Sakyo… don’t tell me you can’t drink at all? If you’re that weak you can go to bed after a cup. 

Sakyo: Who said I cannot drink? 

Enishi: Oh? You sound like you’re a good drinker? 

Sakyo: Of course. I have never gotten drunk before any others.

Enishi: Impressive… then you should be able to drink more than anyone tonight, right? You said it yourself, you’re not lying, are you?

Sakyo: That is a given. If you wish, I will drink with you until you are satisfied.

Tsuzuramaru: Oh~ Sakyo isn’t one to admit defeat.

Enishi: See, we’ve been together for a while but we don’t know much about each other. Let’s open our hearts to each other tonight! All right, everyone’s got their sake? Come on, a toast for our first drinks!

Kei: Tch… even Sakyo’s joining. Fine, then I’ll just drink a few with you guys. ...Oh? This isn’t bad. 

Enishi: Fufu, I asked about the best sake brewer who makes some cheap but good stuff. As expected of someone as great as me! 

Kei: If only you were as motivated about being a bodyguard. 

Suzukake: Ah! He’s right! It’s sweet and goes down the throat easy! 

Tsuzuramaru: Ah, this sake goes well with this spicy pickle! Feels like you can drink as much as you like!

Sakyo: This is good quality sake. Hm? Kuroba-dono, you do not appear to have drank yours…

Saneaki: I don’t like drinking much, and I don’t like to get drunk. I will just wet my lips with it.

Enishi: Now then, now that we can, shall we speak our minds freely?

Kei: Getting yourself all warmed up? What do we even talk about?

Enishi: Let’s see… since this is a rare opportunity, let’s talk about things we don’t usually talk about. Things we can’t say without the power of alcohol~ 

Tsuzuramaru: Oh? For example?

Enishi: For example? Like… talking about the women we like!

Sakyo: *Sigh*

Enishi: You over there, you, Sakyo, I know you sighed that loud just so I could hear.

Kei: Anyone would sigh, not just Sakyo. How stupid, I’m not gonna talk about that with someone like you.

Sakyo: I as well. I am not interested in discussing such boorish things.

Enishi: Well, I also expected you’d react like this. Then let’s talk about that after you’re all drunk. How about talking about what your favourite food is first? Alright, let’s start with that grump over there first.

Saneaki: Grump…? Do you mean me? ...Let’s see, when it comes to food, I like tofu and bamboo shoots. Tofu is luxurious, so I’m happy when I have the opportunity to eat some. Bamboo shoots are delicious whether they’re cooked in soup or served fresh with sashimi.

Enishi: Hm… just as I thought, that was pretty boring.

Saneaki: Bo...ring...

Enishi: Next! That foodie over there!

Tsuzuramaru: Yeah… as long as it’s food, I’ll eat anything. There’s nothing I’d say I particularly like.

Enishi: You could probably grab a handful of grass or a rock and eat it if you were hungry enough.

Tsuzuramaru: Haha… I wouldn’t go that far, but I got to the point of taking food offerings from a Jizo before...

Sakyo: I already think that is quite unbelievable...

Enishi: Next up is you, you cheeky country kid. What about you?

Suzukake: Me? I like salt-grilled sweetfish, and mushrooms too! Freshly-caught fish are the best! When I was in Mount Takao, I always fished from the rivers and grilled them.

Enishi: Suzukake really does look like he’s some kid from the mountains. Kinda makes me think he climbs trees like a monkey. 

Suzukake: Yeah! I’m good at climbing trees! It's so nice looking at the distant scenery.

Enishi: You really do know how to climb, huh?!

Suzukake: You should try and climb some with me next time!

Enishi: Ahaha… if I’m free next time… maybe when I’m just about to die… ahaha… next… that wolf in sheep’s clothing over there. 

Sakyo: Wolf in sheep’s clothing? You must not be referring to me with such a strange nickname, are you? 

Enishi: But, you know, Sakyo, I think you’re kinda secretive. You’re always smiling, but you always seem like you’re plotting something.

Sakyo: I am not plotting anything. My favorite food is carp boiled with nectar and pickles, that is all.

Enishi: Wow, a real snore. Come on, everyone, relax a little! Oi, you over there, the angry one, what do *you* like?

Kei: Hey! Who you calling angry?

Enishi: See? You’re angry right now! Temper tantrums, temper tantrums!

Kei: Damn, you’re annoying… you’ve been calling us a bunch of weird names for a while now. Getting to know each other my ass, you sound more like you’re trying to pick a fight!

Enishi: How could you say that? I’m calling you those with deep affection.

Kei: Pff, how about I call you the bastard who just knows how to chase after a woman’s backside?

Enishi: HEY! That’s slander!

Kei: Says you! All you’ve been saying sounds like slander! Look at Kuroba, he’s splitting hairs! 

Saneaki: A boring guy… should I have said something more interesting in that situation…?

Sakyo: Kuroba-dono, I do wish you did not pay that much attention to Enishi-dono’s jokes. 

Saneaki: Ah… you’re right. Enishi-dono said it, after all. I accidentally took him seriously. Thank you, Sagihara-dono.

Sakyo: No, I should be expressing my gratitude towards you instead. To have someone as dignified as Kuroba-dono by my side on this trip, I feel incredibly relieved.

Enishi: Oi! You two over there, don’t start getting all close by yourselves!

Suzukake: Huh? Aren’t we having a banquet so we can do that?

Enishi: We are, but this wasn’t what I meant. I wanted everyone to open up their hearts like baam! Or something like that. 

Tsuzuramaru: Ah! That reminds me, Kei, what kind of food do you like?

Kei: Hah? You really want to know what I like eating?

Tsuzuramaru: Well, I could say I do… but I can also say I don’t...

Kei: Do you or do you not?!

Tsuzuramaru:Uh... even if you ask me, it's hard to answer. I don’t think it makes any difference if I don’t know. But even if I did, it wouldn’t be useful in the future...

Kei: Then doesn’t that mean you’re not really interested? I don’t really want to say it anyway.

Suzukake: No! Everyone already said theirs, so you have to too!

Kei: Tch. I like tempura and eel. Is that good enough?

Tsuzuramaru: What kind of tempura do you like?

Kei: Why’re you even still asking if you’re obviously not interested?! Taranome tempura, is *that* good enough?! 

Enishi: Good! Everyone is done, ah, I like adzuki bean soup and soba noodles, and girls~

Suzukake: Huh? Enishi, we’re talking about our favorite foods, isn’t it weird to say girls?

Enishi: You don’t get it, Suzukake~ Girls are sweeter than adzuki bean soup, and more delicious than soba noodles~

Kei: Don’t say something like that so seriously!

Suzukake: Oh~ I didn’t know girls were sweet and delicious. So does the princess taste sweet too?

Enishi: Aaaah~ she’d definitely be sweet~ I really wanna have a taste the princess's delicate lips, and…~

Saneaki: If you keep talking like that, Suzukake-dono’s going to take it seriously. … Enishi-dono?

Enishi: Aah… Princess~

Tsuzuramaru: Looks like he’s gotten lost in his fantasies.

Sakyo: Good grief, what exactly is this person doing?

Tsuzuramaru: Enishi… Enishi, hey, are you alright?

Enishi: Oops, that’s not good, I accidentally fell back into some old habits.

Sakyo: Fantasizing about women is your old habit?

Enishi: Ah… rather than say it’s an old habit, maybe I should say it’s more like an interest, or something? ...Doesn’t your heart feel all fluttery when you think about girls? And since I’ve been drinking today, my brain’s already gone all peachy~ 

Sakyo: I really do not comprehend.

Saneaki: Neither do I.

Suzukake: Haha, should I try and taste the princess’ cheek next time?

Enishi: No!! I had my eye on the princess first!

Suzukake: Hmph! You’re being unfair, Enishi!

Enishi: But, you know, Sakyo, Saneaki, you’re real boring people. You should learn from me, and enjoy your lives a little. 

Sakyo: Learn from you, Enishi-dono? So you are saying I should plaster on a stupid-looking smile to chase after women’s behinds? If I must be like that, then I would rather die.

Enishi: You… your tone is really polite, but what you’re saying is really ruthless…

Suzukake: Hey, hey, Saneaki. How sweet do you think the princess is? I know a bit about medicine, but today’s the first time I’ve heard that girls are sweet!

Saneaki: Suzukake-dono, you can’t take what Enishi-dono says seriously.

Tsuzuramaru: I see. I also look that dreamy when I think about eating something… so this is what you meant, Enishi.

Saneaki: Tsuzuramaru-dono, you cannot take him seriously!

Enishi: Aah~ The princess’ soft face… just thinking about it is like stepping into a pure land of bliss…

Kei: Is this really supposed to help us get to know each other?

Track 2

Enishi: Now then, the first bottle’s already empty! Time for the second one~ *drinks* Aha~ Feels so nice! I feel so much better.

Suzukake: Aah… me too~ I feel so fluttery and nice… hehehe… ah, Kei, your face is all red. 

Kei: Tch. I’m feeling a little dizzy.

Enishi: Huh? Don’t tell me you can’t really drink?

Kei: Shut up, you think I can’t hold this much?!

Suzukake: Hehehe, Kei, drink some more~

Kei: W-What are you doing? Oi! Don’t just start pouring me more!

Suzukake: Ehhh? Don’t talk like that, drink more! I’ll get lonely if Kei won’t drink… come on, drink!

Kei: Tch, this stuff burns…

Tsuzuramaru: Haha, if Kei won’t take it then let me. I can drink no matter how much you give me.

Kei: You’re such a drunkard… you’re treating it like it’s water. 

Enishi: Huh? Not drinking anymore? You can’t drink anymore after only having two bottles? There really are people who can’t hold their drinks, huh...

Kei: Don’t you dare look down on me. Just this little bit of sake! *drink*

Enishi: Woohoo! Nice one!

Suzukake: Saneaki-sama didn’t drink any at all… if you drink a little you’ll definitely feel a lot happier…

Saneaki: No, I can’t really hold my alcohol. I’d rather not.

Suzukake: Don’t be like that, you’ll feel more comfortable if you drink~ I’ll drink with you all gurgle gurgle, like that!

Saneaki: Even if you say it like that, if I can’t drink then I can’t drink…

Sakyo: Suzukake, forcing people who do not want to drink is not appropriate.

Suzukake: *Sob sob* 

Sakyo: Su-Suzukake? 

Suzukake: *Sob* E-Even though I’ve been trying to get you to drink, you still won’t… *Sob* Saneaki, do you hate me? 

Enishi: Hey, hey, why’re you crying about something like this? Such an emotional guy.

Suzukake: *Sob sob* Why won’t anyone drink with me?! Why?! I hate that people won’t drink with me!! *Throws a tantrum* 

Enishi: Heyheyhey! Hurry up and do something before he knocks over a table! 

Saneaki: Fine, then I’ll drink to settle him down.

Suzukake: Yay! You finally drank some!

Saneaki: Ugh… so uncomfortable… 

Sakyo: A-Are you feeling all right?

Saneaki: I’m fine… But it really is foolish to make so much noise like just then just because you’re drunk. I find it hard to understand people who like drinking this sort of stuff.

Suzukake: Huh, why? That light-headed feeling is so nice. Sake really is such a good thing.

Saneaki: Suzukake-dono, you’re wrong. Please sit down here… People who easily drift along with the crowd will find themselves gradually becoming depraved. Of course, as long as one is alive, they’ll experience many painful things, but it’s ridiculous to live only by drinking. Suzukake-dono, are you still listening?

Suzukake: Saneaki-sani, I’m over here~ 

Sakyo: Kuroba-dono, you are speaking to a wall.

Sakyo: Goodness. Kuroba-dono is quite bad at drinking, I see.

Tsuzuramaru: Looks like you’re not drunk at all though. Ah, even though I am too.

Sakyo: Did I not say it before, I will not get drunk before others.

Enishi: You did, so it wasn’t a bluff, eh? Looks like everyone’s getting tipsy, it’s almost time to talk about the girls we like~?

Kei: Hah? You’re still on about that?

Enishi: What’s wrong with it? If we talk about that then we can all get a little closer with each other~

Suzukake: Girls… I don’t know much about girls.

Tsuzuramaru: I don’t know much either…

Enishi: Even if you don’t know anything, you must have a type you like, right? For example, girls who are all “I want to be with you forever!” are cuteeee, or something like that?

Suzukake: Hm… then… then I like gentle girls, and girls who can get along with animals, hehe.

Enishi: Oh? You like gentle girls? That’s true, when you’re being treated by a girl with a kind heart, you’ll feel better no matter how tired you are. Tsuzuramaru, what about you?

Tsuzuramaru: Hm… I don’t think about it a lot, but since I like eating, I’d like someone who’s good at cooking.

Enishi: A girl who’s good at cooking~ When you think about all the delicious food they’ve prepared when I get home, then you’ll feel motivated to work all day.

Tsuzuramaru: What about you, Sakyo?

Sakyo: What I like about women? I think an attentive woman is more attractive.

Enishi: Yupyup, a girl who’s careful and thoughtful. If she can take care of even the smallest things, it’s hard for men to resist that~

Tsuzuramaru: I see, so in this situation, it would be a girl who suddenly brings out a rice ball.

Kei: You really can’t stop thinking about eating, huh…

Suzukake: Heyhey, what does Saneaki think?

Saneaki: Nn… I can’t… fall over…

Sakyo: Kuroba-dono seems to have fallen asleep against the wall. We should let him sleep like that for now.

Enishi: Tch, he’s still so boring even after he’s gotten drunk! If only he let loose a little more~ Kei, what about you?

Kei: Hah? I don’t think about women.

Enishi: Huh? You liar!

Kei: Am not! Don’t compare us!

Enishi: Then… if you give it a bit of thinking now, do you have a type?

Kei: Tch… a type, huh? Someone who’s gentle and straightforward… I don’t know why but I don’t know how to deal with them. And I’d rather a woman who can use her own head. I hate idiots like you.

Tsuzuramaru: Even though you haven’t thought about it, you’re actually kind of picky about women…

Kei: S-Shut up!

Enishi: So someone who’s straightforward and neat, and someone you can trust?

Suzukake: Ah, so someone like the princess, right, Kei?

Kei: *spits out his sake* W-Why are we bringing her up?

Suzukake: Because you’re describing someone like her.

Kei: I’m definitely not interested in her! O-Oi, Enishi, what’s your type then?

Enishi: Ehehehehehehe, all right, listen real close.

Kei: Why’d you stand up?

Tsuzuramaru: He’s been excited about this from the start.

Enishi: The girl I like… is… is in fact, the princess!

Tsuzuramaru: So you’re saying your ideal girl is the princess? 

Enishi: Well, something like that. My heart was moved to tears when I saw her for the first time. To be honest, the reason why I decided to be a guard was so I could talk to the princess. 

Kei: You don’t even hesitate to tell her you want to be by her side anyway.

Suzukake: Hehe, but I like the princess too. The princess is so gentle to everyone, and she’s kind to animals… So that means…. Huh? That means my ideal girl is the princess too.

Tsuzuramaru: The princess should be good at cooking too, since she’s the daughter of a teahouse owner. So my ideal type of girl is probably someone like the princess.

Sakyo: Yes. If you do business from your home, you must be attentive as well. Although she is a bit slow with things…

Kei: No way… she’s my ideal woman? I don’t hate that but… n-no way! There’s definitely no way that’s it.

Enishi: What’s wrong with you guys? Just noticing her charm for the first time today? It’s too late, I had my eyes on her first!

Tsuzuramaru: It hasn’t been decided that the princess belongs to *you*. I want to eat rice balls made by the princess too.

Sakyo: Besides, Enishi-dono, it is not just the princess, but any woman would do for you, no?

Enishi: Sakyo, is that how you think of me? It can’t just be anyone, only the princess is good enough.

Kei: You’ve only known her for a few days, what do you even know about her?

Enishi: But the princess is so cute! And sometimes she’s so amusing~ 

Kei: Is that it?

Enishi: Is that not good enough? I don’t needa reason to joke around! As long as I get to see that smile, my heart feels all ti~ght.

Tsuzuramaru: Ah, I get that! When I’m hungry, my heart also feels ti~ght when I go to sleep.

Enishi: Don’t lump your stomach and my love together!

Suzukake: Hehe~ So my ideal girl is the princess~ Then I’ll make the princess be my future bride~ 

Tsuzuramaru: Oh, that wouldn’t be bad at all! Suzukake’s so kind, and he knows medicine too, so you won’t need to worry about food. If the two of you will definitely be happy if you get together. But if that happens the princess won’t be able to make rice balls for me...

Suzukake: No problem! When the princess becomes my bride, I’ll make Tsuzurumaru a portion for dinner too!

Tsuzuramaru: That’ll be great! But I feel like something’s not right about this… 

Enishi: I can’t even pretend that I didn’t hear that conversation. Suzukake, don’t think that knowing medicine is all that. A childish man like you, no matter how hard you try, will always be like a ‘cute little brother’ to the princess. 

Suzukake: Little brother?

Enishi: Yup, so you wouldn’t even be considered a man anyway.

Suzukake: *Sob… sob* How could you say it like that… Enishi’s so mean!!

Sakyo: Enishi-dono, if you say those things then Suzukake will act up again.

Enishi: Even though it’s a little unbearable for my heart, the enemy will soon be defeated! Today’s party was for this purpose!

Sakyo: Could it be that… you got everyone drunk so that no man other than yourself can look at the princess?

Enishi: How’s that even possible. Sakyo, I think you’re a bit too suspicious there.

Sakyo: Compared to Enishi-dono, I have a lot of important things to do, instead of time to think about women.

Enishi: Is that so? Usually, a man who looks like they have no interest in women is the biggest pervert~

Sakyo: P-Pervert? That would be you. Were you not the one who has been having unpleasant delusions about the princess just then?

Enishi: That’s just how it is~ Who let the princess be so cute? Ah, that adorable smile, her beautiful flowing hair… Aaaaaah~ Princess~ So wonderful~

Tsuzuramaru: Oi, Enishi, oi! … Ah, he’s gone back into his fantasies again… Speaking of, is Saneaki still sleeping?

Sakyo: Yes, he has been sleeping sitting like that. It seems he has been sleeptalking a little as well.

Saneaki: No more… drinking sake… ah… did I fall asleep?

Kei: Looks like he’s awake.

Sakyo: You have been sleeping the entire time.

Saneaki: My apologies for sleeping during such a rare occasion. What did everybody talk about while I was asleep?

Sakyo: That… it was nothing important. 

Kei: Yep.

Enishi: Aaaah~ Princess… your lovely lips… mmm~

Suzukake: Ah! I’m not the princess! Don’t hold me!

Enishi: Princess~

Saneaki: This is… quite an uncomfortable situation… as expected, sake is such a terrifying thing. Ah, I still feel horrible, I’ll fetch some water. 

Saneaki: For some reason I can’t proceed any further. Is this the work of a yokai?! I’m being tricked by a yokai’s magic… there must be a way forward.

Sakyo: Kuroba-dono, that is a wall. If it is water you want then I will get it for you.

Saneaki: Why… Why has the path… 

Enishi: Aaaah~ Princess~ Your soft skin…

Suzukake: E-Enishi… you should let go of me now… it’s painful… and gross!

Tsuzuramaru: Enishi, Suzukake’s having a hard time, let him go.

Enishi: Noooo… I don’t want to let go of the princess~ Aaaaaah…

Tsuzuramaru: Ah… ha, he’s really holding onto you tightly… it’s taking a lot of effort to pull him off.

Sakyo: Here, Kuroba-dono, I brought water. Come quickly drink some.

Saneaki: Ah… Sagihara-dono, your body is radiating with light…

Sakyo: That said, everyone, I met the princess on the way to get water.

Enishi: The princess?

Kei: She probably heard us and then decided to turn right back around.

Suzukake: *Cough cough* Ah… that was too much… 

Sakyo: The princess asked me to pass along her words...

Enishi: Whatwhat? Don’t tell me she said “Enishi is so handsome and amazing~”?!

Sakyo:  … No. She said that our voices were too loud, and she feels embarrassed hearing what was being said. And incidentally, especially those of Enishi-san. 

Kei: Ah, yeah, all that screaming about the princess and everything.

Tsuzuramaru: So you’re saying she heard… that I wanted to eat riceballs she makes… I should have said I wanted to eat her dango too.

Kei: That’s what you’re worried about?

Enishi: Ah~ So what you’re saying is~ You’re embarrassed about my passionate emotions for the princess?

Kei: No, I’m embarrassed about your existence. Haven’t you had enough? Even in Edo this is already a nuisance, we should pack it up soon.

Tsuzuramaru: But there’s still sake left. Leftover sake is too wasteful, it’s part of samurai etiquette to drink all the sake at a banquet.

Kei: Hah? First time I’m hearing about something like that.

Tsuzuramaru: That’s because I just made it up. Come on, let’s have one more cup.

Kei: Just let me go… 

Enishi: Especially… Enishi, huh…? So the princess paid special attention to me… Oh, Tsuzuramaru, let the party go on!!

Tsuzuramaru: All right, let’s drink!

Sakyo: Then allow me to join you.

Suzukake: Ah, I wanna drink too! Come on, Kei, let’s drink together!

Kei: Goddamn...  at this point it’s just whatever!

Track 3

Kei: Oi, is there more sake? 

Tsuzuramaru: Oh, it looks like we’re about to finish our fourth… but there’s one more bottle left. Come on, Kei, you can keep going~ 

Kei: Ugh…. no… already… reached… my limit… 

Tsuzuramaru: Ah, huh? He’s fallen over all sprawled out.

Sakyo: Kei-dono, you will catch a cold if you sleep like that. Goodness, let me get you a futon. 

Tsuzuramaru: Sakyo, you can still keep drinking?

Sakyo: Yes, I am good to continue.

Tsuzuramaru: That’s good. Let’s keep going then~ Is it really all right to put those two together? Enishi’s been holding onto Saneaki really tightly. 

Enishi: Ah, it’s so comfortable…

Saneaki: Nn… please save me…

Sakyo: Although I pity Kuroba-dono, I would rather not be in Enishi-dono’s arms, so I will have to leave it like this.

Tsuzuramaru: Enishi’ll hold onto anything he can get his hands on, so we have to sacrifice Saneaki for now, unfortunately. 

Sakyo: Kei-dono, Kuroba-dono, and Enishi-dono have all fallen asleep. There are not many of us who can drink left.

Tsuzuramaru: What’s wrong, Suzukake? You haven’t been talking for a while.

Suzukake: *Sob* Why… why….?

Sakyo: Suzukake? What is the matter? You have been staring at the tatami…

Suzukake: I… I just wanna eat some pickles…. Why do they keep falling off?

Sakyo: This… Pardon?

Suzukake: This is the second time it’s fallen off… so mean! Even if the way I hope chopsticks is weird, why?! Why won’t it stay on? *cries*

Sakyo: Amazing… This is the first time I have seen someone cry over pickles.

Tsuzuramaru: Aren’t you going to stop him?

Sakyo: Then I will find myself quite tired. To be honest, I think it is too much trouble.

Tsuzuramaru: Hehe, so your weakness is this kind of thing…. Forget it, one more cup.

Sakyo: Ha… I am so tired…

Track 4

Tsuzuramaru: Come on, everyone, get up! It’s morning!

Enishi: Huh? Huh?? Huh??? W-Why was I holding onto Saneaki? Disgusting!

Saneaki: That is my line, how nasty! Why was I sleeping with Enishi?

Kei: It’s morning already…? Ah, did I drink too much? Damn, my head hurts.

Suzukake: I wanna sleep more… I feel so tired… what did I even do?

Tsuzuramaru: Looks like everyone’s awake. We have good weather again today!

Sakyo: Good morning.

Enishi: What? Tsuzuramaru and Sakyo were awake the whole time? 

Sakyo: No, we got a little rest after everyone went to sleep. 

Tsuzuramaru: There was some sake and fish left, so we finished it off. We stayed up pretty late.

Suzukake: Ah, they’re right! The bottles are all empty…

Sakyo: I lost to Tsuzuramaru-dono when it came to our limits. I am feeling a little tired but he is still full of energy.

Tsuzuramaru: The sake really was delicious, wasn’t it? I kind of want to drink more.

Kei: You two really are amazing… Ah… I feel sick...

Saneaki: Hm? I don’t know how but I seem to have a bump on my head? Sagihara-dono, last night, what did I--

Sakyo: It is better to not ask.

Kei: I don’t remember anything from yesterday either… except how annoying Enishi was...

Enishi: Me too… everything is a little hazy… I remember… the princess said that she liked me… and then hugged me tightly...

Sakyo: Enishi-dono, you are mistaking your dreams with reality.

Suzukake: I… why am I holding onto pickles? 

Sakyo: That is also… better not inquired about. Well, it is almost time for breakfast, we should put away out futon prepare for that.

Saneaki: Before that… I will go find some water… I still feel uncomfortable...

Enishi: Oh… I’ll go too, my throat is so dry…

Kei: I’m gonna go… wash my face…

Suzukake: I’ll come too, to take a look at the horse.

Sakyo: Good grief… what a hopeless bunch. I will put away the futon then.

Tsuzuramaru: By the way, Sakyo?

Sakyo: Yes?

Tsuzuramaru: At the end of the night, did we get to know each other better?

Sakyo: Who knows? I suppose you could say that, since I now know a side of you that the others do not.

Tsuzuramaru: Well, that means the banquet last night wasn’t enough. All right! I’ll prepare the banquet tonight!

Sakyo: Huh? D-Do you still want to drink tonight?

Tsuzuramaru: And since we’ve decided that, I have to properly ask Enishi which store he got his sake from! Yep! There’ll be plenty of sake and fish! 

Sakyo: T-Tsuzuramaru-dono! Please wait--

Tsuzuramaru: Hehe! I feel like I’ll be looking forward to it for the whole day! I didn’t drink enough last night, so tonight I definitely will! Hey! Enishi!!

[surveys4ever]

25.

Section 1 – Who were you?

Think back as far as you can. What is the first memory you have? I think meeting my (now) dad for the first time when he and my mom were dating. I was very upset because he was short and that’s not what dads were supposed to look like in my 3 year old eyes since my bio dad was super tall.

What is something you remember enjoying very much as a small child? Playing Barbies, watching Barney, Happy Meals, being with my grandma.

How old were you, when you made your very first friend? Probably preschool.

Are you still friends with this person today? Facebook friends, yeah. Real friends, no.

Was there a story somebody read or told you that has stuck with you? No one ever read to me after I learned to read for myself so one day I was sick and I came home and curled up with my mom on the couch and asked her to read me a Little Mermaid book I had and she did, even though I had to get up to go shit myself halfway through and it meant a lot to me at the time.

What is something you get an immense feeling of nostalgia from? Hannah Montana for some reason. It was my favorite show and we didn’t get the Disney channel so whenever we went to a hotel, nobody could tell me fuckin NOTHING because we were watching Hannah Montana whether they liked it or not.

As a child, were you a sore loser or a sore winner? I was the only child for 8 years and then the oldest after that so I never lost at anything and now when I do, I feel like I'm the biggest piece of shit loser there’s ever been. So that’s fun.

Did you go through the "naked phase"? I learned that you didn’t have to sleep in pajamas and you could just sleep naked so I did it for a while but then realized that I much preferred pajamas.

Which television shows do you watch the most as a child? I loved TV so basically all of the 90′s/early 2000′s shows there were.

Did you play with siblings, neighbourhood kids or by yourself? Either with neighborhood/school kids or by myself. I didn’t ever really have siblings who weren’t my kids, if that makes sense.

Is there something you really miss from your childhood today? I miss back when everything was simple.

Section 2 – Likes and interests  

Would you ever like to try competitive pinball playing? Ummm, no.

Do you knit, crochet or cross stitch? I’m trying to teach myself to crochet.

Have you ever, or would you like to attend a gaming or comic convention? No thx.

What's your opinion on online multiplayer games? I really liked Among Us for a while there but I don’t really enjoy how rude everyone is on online games.

Do you like to go cycling? If so, where? Uh no.

Have you ever tried woodturning? If not, would you like to? Never tried it, don’t really have any desire to, but it can be relaxing to watch!

Do you enjoy drawing? If so, what do you usually draw? I do! I usually draw graphics for YouTube videos or doodle over Instagram photos, draw things to put on shirts with my Cricut, etc. I use my iPad for so many things.

Have you ever attended a painting class? If so, what did you create? I haven’t but I would like to!

How about a creative writing course? If so, did you get any feedback? I took Creative Writing literally every year it was offered in high school and I always got awards for having the top marks in the class.

What is your favourite form of exercise? No thank you.

Section 3 – People  

Who is the most important person in your life (besides yourself)? My husband.

Do people generally approach you easily? I think so!

Do you get along with people well? If not, what's the problem? Yeah! I’m pretty friendly and easy going.

Do you enjoy being in crowds or do you prefer your own company? I would much prefer my own company than crowds.

Which one of your friends have you known the longest? I still talk to the girl I was best friends with in the 6th grade on occasion so like 17-18 years?

Do you find it easy to make friends now? If not, what makes it difficult? As an adult who works from home, making friends is hard as fuck. 

What is something about people that annoys you? Something I've noticed in recent years is just how entitled and greedy everyone is. Everybody wants something from you or for your skills to benefit them without them putting in any work or paying you for your time. It’s just gross.

What is something about people that you really like? We have really, really harsh winters and if you ever find yourself in the ditch for whatever reason, there will be a lineup of cars stopped behind you to help you push it out or let you chill in their car while you wait for a tow truck. On the really bad blizzard days, there are groups of men in big trucks that literally L I V E to go around and help pull people’s cars out of the ditch. It’s the only time I feel like there’s actually a sense of community around here.

If you live alone, what would be your criteria for a roommate? I honestly would never have a roommate because they could either be your friend or a stranger and living with friends is a good way to ruin a friendship if your living styles aren’t similar and living with a stranger just sounds like a nightmare.

How about criteria for a spouse, if you're single? I am married but my criteria was honestly that I just wanted him to be kind and funny and I got that tenfold with my husband.

In general, what's your attitude towards people? I can’t stand to be around grumpy people. If all you do is gripe and complain about literally everything, I’m out. No thank you. Why is your hobby being angry? Take up knitting or something for christ’s sake.

Section 4 – Habits

What is something you do every day without fail? Baby talk the dog and snuggle with Beebs.

What is your typical breakfast? I’m a leftovers for breakfast kinda gal but lately I’ve been having a bagel and watermelon.

Which article of clothing do you like to wear the most? I loooove me a good baggy T-shirt and booty shorts.

Is there a TV show you watch habitually? We’re currently watching Unhhhh while we eat dinner every night, haha!

Where do you usually spend most of your day? I really only sit in 4 places--bed, the couch, my makeup/work desk, or my sewing desk. Depends on the day which one I’m at.

Is there a product that you do not want to run out of? Moisturizer. I’m a dry son of a bitch.

What is your preferred mode of transport? Car!

Do you usually have something playing in the background when you're home? Nah. I’m in silence a lot of the time.

Where do you usually get your groceries? Walmart for the bulk of it, a local grocery store for the specialty items, and Target if we ever run out of something midweek because I cannot handle Walmart more than once a week.

How often do you go to your local park? Like once or twice a month in the summer!

Which of your hobbies do you indulge in most often? Sewing and Sims currently!

Section 5 – Favourites and dislikes

What is your favourite fruit? Watermelon!

How about your favourite berry? Strawberries are the only berry I like.

Which food do you highly dislike? Fish. It’s all disgusting.

What is your favourite song, and why? I hate this question. Who can pick one definitive favorite song out of the bajillions of songs that have been written??

What is a movie you cannot stand? Anything with Seth Rogen in it, any movie that's got a 3+ after it (looking @ you, Fast & Furious), and all the fuckin’ superhero movies that have the same ‘ah yes, this undefeatable bad guy that we have absolutely no chance against and will undoubtedly kill us all--but we’re going to pull through at the last second with the power of friendship!’ plot line.

Which trait in a person do you find most appealing? I don’t know how to describe it--certain people just have that spark and you can always tell right away if they’ve got it or not and those are my favorite kind of people.

Which trait puts you instantly off? If they’re religious it’s an instant no from me, dog.

Who is an actor/actress who you dislike so much you can't watch them? I really, really dislike Tom Holland. I honestly think he’s a terrible actor.

What colour are your favourite shoes? White!

What is a smell that disgusts you to no end? B.O., on me or others. I just can’t deal with it.

Which door handle/door knob do you like the most in your home? They’re all the same.

Section 6 – Culture

What is something very typical to the culture of your home country? Apple pie and baseball are the only things coming to mind atm.

Do you enjoy art? If so, which form of art is the most enjoyable? I do! But I prefer art that you can look at and know the artist is incredibly gifted and/or has put in a ton of time and effort to master their skills. None of that million dollar paint smear on a canvas shit.

What is something about another country's culture you don't understand? I feel like other cultures take their family and their family’s approval way too seriously. That might be rich coming from someone who doesn’t have a very good relationship with their family but I just don’t understand what the point of making yourself miserable to make your family happy is.

Do you ever attend the theater? If so, which play did you see last? Last thing I saw in a theater was Shangela perform a drag show, haha!

How about the opera or the ballet? Nope.

Which dance troupe do you enjoy, if any? ...they still do that?

Do you attend concerts or gigs? If so, which band did you see last? Not as much as I’d like to as no one good really comes here very often. Last band we saw was X Ambassadors and Paramore!

Are you interested in foreign food? I’m not uninterested but I’m not super interested either.

If so, which country's cuisine do you enjoy the most? Chinese...albiet probably a very Americanized version of Chinese.

Do you enjoy stand-up comedy? If so, who is your favourite comic? I doooo! Bo Burnham and Drew Lynch are my favorites.

Do you contribute to culture in some way? If so, how? I try to? I’m an influencer so I definitely have a platform of a couple hundred thousand people. Not sure what exactly I contribute tho.

Section 7 – Charity

Do you volunteer your time to anything charitable? If so, what? Newp.

Do you donate money to any charities? If so, which ones? No. I don’t trust a lot of charities, to be quite honest. A lot of them are very shady and I’d rather donate money directly to someone who needed it rather than it getting tied up in a charity where it might never actually see the people they claim to be helping.

If you have pets, are any of them rescues from shelters? We adopted our dog from one of my husband’s coworkers but she probably would have gone to the shelter if we didn’t take her.

Do you donate your old clothes, linen etc. to charitable organizations? Yes! We almost always have a bag of donations in our trunk that we always forget to take to the thrift store when we go.

If someone you know is in need, is it in your nature to offer help? If I can, yes!

Have you ever donated Christmas presents to children of poor families? We used to do that when I was a kid.

Have you ever had to rely on other people's charity? One Christmas when I was really young I remember my parents signed up for a sponsorship through the Salvation Army where a family adopted us and bought us Christmas presents and Christmas dinner or whatever.

How do you feel about donating to charities endorsed by celebrities? I would never donate to a charity simply because it was sponsored by a celebrity but I guess its the easiest way for a charity to get the word out that they need donations.

Is there a charity you absolutely never ever will not trust? PETA, Salvation Army, Goodwill, and that breast cancer one with the horrible CEO.

Have you ever donated to a cause that had a person going door to door? No. I extra wouldn’t if someone came knocking on my door asking for money.

In general, what is your opinion on charity? I already did my rant about them, haha.

Section 8 – Entertainment

Which was the very first video game you remember playing? Ocarina of Time I believe!

Which was the very first film you remember watching? That I don’t remember. Maybe that Barney movie with the magic egg?

What is your go-to form of entertainment? TikTok usually.

Do you have a large collection of DVDs/Blu-Rays? Nah. We have a drawer but we usually stream everything.

How about music albums? Beebs collects vinyls!

Do you prefer to have your music on vinyls, tapes, CDs or digital? I prefer digital and Beebs likes vinyl.

When and where do you like to entertain yourself usually? Either the bed or the couch.

Do you ever binge watch shows? If so, what are you binging now? Usually! I’m sadly in between shows rn.

What kinds of books do you like to read, if any? I honestly don’t read anymore.

Is there a book series you're currently collecting? ..

Is entertainment something you prefer to enjoy alone or with someone else? I have my shows and then we have shows we watch together. So there’s a time and place for both!

Section 9 – Internet 

Do you always have access to the Internet, wherever you go? If not, why? Yup!

Which website do you frequent the most? Website website? Google. App website? Instagram or TikTok.

Which search engine do you prefer and trust the most? Googs.

What do you use the Internet the most for? Social media or entertainment.

Do you judge people who have their phones out all the time? If so, why? Random people? None of my business. But if we’re spending time together and I’m trying to have a conversation with you and you're not paying attention to me because your nose is glued to your phone, I’m gonna be pissed.

If your connection goes down, what do you do? Go do something that’s not on the internet?

Is there something you wish you could do online that isn't possible yet? I still wish you could smell things through the internet.

Do you remember the first time you used the Internet? When was it? Yes! I believe the 2nd/3rd grade?

What was a website you used to frequent that doesn't exist anymore? I loved the Disney website with all the games.

Do/Did you ever have your own website? That was the thiiiing back in the day.

Isn't it great how much knowledge and info we have at our fingertips? It’s great but also overwhelming.

Section 10 – And finally...

What is something you consider to be highly controversial? Politics, apparently.

What kinds of jokes do you like the best? I love a good pun.

Is there a person who makes you laugh effortlessly? Oh definitely.

Which part of your body do you like the least? My eyes.

What's something random, out of context you remember from your past? I don’t do well with really vague questions.

Do you wear shoes indoors? No, I’m not a heathen.

What's the silliest thing you've worn on your body in public? I don’t think I usually wear silly things.

What's the most important thing in your life right now? Just spending time with my fam. Trying to get over this anxiety.

What is the most distant point on the planet that you've been from home? Florida.

Do you enjoy trivia games? If so, which one's your favourite? We love some Trivial Pursuit in this house!

Are you more logical or emotional? My emotions take over and then my logic brings it back in. Equal parts, baby.

[schweeeppess]

Chapter I

---

Tim knew something was wrong when he called Dick twice and was sent to voicemail both times. Normally that was fine; Dick was a pretty busy person, so Tim could understand that; he just texted his brother instead, telling him to call when he got the chance, and didn’t give it much more thought until after patrol when he checked his phone and still didn’t have a response.

Frowning, Tim turned his phone off and looked over at Bruce. Normally whenever Dick didn’t answer text messages it meant he was either undercover or isolating himself.

If this was the first option, Tim would check with Barbara first then let Bruce know just in case he tried contacting Dick and couldn’t reach him. Bruce got overprotective.

If it was the second option, though… There was an entirely different protocol for that between Tim and Dick.

So he texted Babs and went to change out of the Robin uniform, running up the stairs once he was hopping into his shorts to get to the Manor because it was almost four in the morning and he had to get home in case Dad woke up and decided to check up on him, only stopping to say bye to Bruce and Alfred before booking it for the Drake estate.

As he approached the looming mansion, concern continued to roll in Tim’s gut as he thought back to the fact that Dick might need him and he wouldn’t know about it until Barbara answered.

Because something was definitely very wrong. Tim could feel it in his bones, in his blood, in his lungs. The sharp and bitter taste of fear was in the air, and it was unforgiving as it attacked Tim’s psyche worse than the toxin designed to induce it did. Underfoot grass crunched softly; quietly, in contrast to the raging storm and rolling of Tim’s gut caused by anxiety.

Maybe, he wondered as he crawled into his room through the window, Dick was just tired of him. Maybe Dick wasn’t avoiding Bruce, and maybe he wasn’t undercover. Maybe Dick was sick of talking to him, maybe he’d taken advantage of having a brother too much, maybe it was Tim’s fault—

No.

Tim shook his head, pulling his pajama pants up.

No, Dick wasn’t like that. He was a good and genuine person, and if Tim were annoying him he’d say it. Dick was honest. He was real.

Right before he curled up under his blankets, Tim checked his phone for a text from Barbara.

Barbara G: Nope.

Tim frowned, turning off his phone.

So Dick wasn’t undercover, then. That meant he was avoiding Bruce. Something was wrong, so Tim was going to have to get Bruce off his case on patrol tomorrow, which meant he was going to have a long night.

___

“You’re planning on doing what?”

Predictably, the whole ‘ditching Bruce’ plan wasn’t working. Maybe that was because Bruce was real mother-henny even after about a half a year or so of Tim being Robin. He doubted that the hovering would get any better with time, actually.

He paused on the rooftop he was on, shifting a little uncomfortably as he did, Tim answered, “Visiting Nightwing.”

“…and you want to go alone. Through Gotham, and into Blüdhaven, unaccompanied. Am I correct in assuming this?”

“Yeah, and?” Like hell if Tim was backing down now. He hadn’t when he’d stared Bruce down about a year ago to blackmail Batman, and he wasn’t about to start doing it now.

Robin stood up to Batman. (It was, like, a requirement.)

Bruce grunted.

“No.”

“Come again.”

“I said no.” The tone Bruce was using brokered no room for argument, and Tim tightened his jaw. “Finish your route then head back.”

“Ba—”

“This conversation is over. I’ll see you back home, Robin.”

Yeah, Tim bitterly thought to himself as he readied himself to continue heading toward Blüd full of bitter spite. See you back home when I get back.

Just as he fired his grapple, he heard a loud stream of curse words spout off from behind him and Tim whipped around, only for whoever it was that needed their mouth washed out with soap to run right past him and jump off the roof.

Heart jumping to his throat, Tim was ready to jump down after the person to catch them, but he stopped short when he saw the figure—male, Tim could finally make out, and with a red helmet—pull out their own grapple gun and shoot a line with what looked like practiced ease.

Tim didn’t hesitate to follow the red-helmet wearing guy. Normally, whenever someone was running, they either needed help, were trying to get away from Robin or Batman, or were just in a rush.

Odds were, though, since this guy had a red helmet, that he was a bad guy or something. Gotham villains seemed to have a theme of being flashy.

Somewhere in Tim’s mind he remembered the Red Hood—Joker’s ex-alias way back in the day—because of the red helmet. That couldn’t be intentional, could it? Was it?

God, Tim hoped not as he landed on the roof the other guy had and ran after him. The Joker had a history with Robins that Tim wasn’t eager to continue.

…that sounded vaguely insensitive, even in Tim’s brain. He hadn’t even voiced that comment and it still came out wrong.

Oh shit was the follow-up thought, which was completely warranted because red helmet had stopped at the edge of this roof to face him, and Tim was entirely unprepared for that—bad guys didn’t normally stop and turn around to face the good guys, at least the henchmen didn’t.

“I am really busy right now, Robin,” the guy quickly said, his voice coming out chillingly robotic but distinctly young—maybe early twenties?—even with the modulator, “so I don’t have time for your shit—if Batman’s around, tell him to fuck off too, actually—and I therefore ask you to please jump off the nearest roof and have a great face-punching night and kindly stop following me, thanks.”

With that, the guy jumped off the roof onto the neighboring one, leaving Tim with his mouth in a surprised and wholly undignified O.

Did—did that guy just—

No fucking way.

Now very intrigued, Tim followed Mr. Badass, vaguely wondering if Jason would mind if Tim added this guy as his hero.

“Hey, wait a sec mister!”

A very loud, very long, and very dramatic groan was heard probably from space at Tim’s shout, and he continued to silently gape in marvel and run to catch up.

Bruce would probably disapprove, Tim thought to himself.

…he didn’t really care. Robins hardly ever cared what Batman thought, actually, from what Tim had both experienced and seen.

Despite the overexaggerated noise of frustration, red helmet waited for him clearly anxious as he stood on the roof, arms crossed and looking for all the world like he had somewhere to be.

“What can I help you with and how fast can I do it?” were the first words from his mouth, and Tim’s amazement spiked.

Just who was this guy?

“What’s your rush?” Tim blurted. “What’s your name, too? Why the red helmet? Who are you?”

“I have something very time-sensitive I need to get to, my name is Noneya Business—call me Noneya, Business was my father—the red helmet looks cool, and I’m nobody you need to worry about, ‘kay?” Noneya answered, ticking off his responses on his fingers as he said them. “That all?”

Tim absorbed the answers, processed them, and finally said, “Can I help somehow? With your ‘time-sensitive something’?”

It surprised him when Noneya seemed to think about his offer, and it surprised him even more when Noneya said, “…fine, you’re his brother anyways right?”

He didn’t have time to think about that question before Noneya added, “No Batman if I say yes, a’ight? It’s enough with your ass Robin self.”

Noneya’s sudden accent sounded natural—like he’d been hiding it the entire conversation and had given up.

“No Batman if we’re not gonna be doing ‘ny criminal stuff,” Tim promised, letting a bit of his own accent slip into his speech.

A scoff of resignation was as much as he got before Noneya bit out a quick, “Hurry up, kid,” and was running off the roof again.

Tim paused to think about what he was doing. He was about to go off with a stranger to do fuck knows what and had promised to not get Bruce involved if criminal activity was uninvolved.

Growing progressively stressed out, Tim ran after Noneya, and re-thought his life choices as something Noneya’d said flashed back into mind sometime during the pursuit.

“You’re his brother anyways right?”

What did he…

Oh, shit.

Tim looked at the person to his right, bulked up with respectable and clear muscle, almost reminding him of Bruce, and suspected he knew how to use those muscles to fight.  He couldn’t have meant Dick, could he? But who else could he have meant?

“Where’re we goin’?” he decided to ask, carefully adding a little space between himself and Noneya, ready to reactivate his comm to contact Bruce. If this guy had something to do with Dick’s radio silence…

“Middle ground,” was Noneya's response.

Scowling a little, Tim resigned himself to wait for them to reach this ‘middle ground’ to ask the question burning on the tip of his tongue. What did you to do Dick?

It took eight minutes to arrive at the ‘middle ground’ that Tim discovered was an abandoned electronics store.

An entire eight minutes of awkward silence, at least it was awkward on Tim’s side.

Noneya beckoned him to follow, pulling the helmet off, and Tim did, hand hovering over his bo as he did, ready for a fight.

He shouldn’t have come, shouldn’t have kept it from Batman, shouldn’t have followed Noneya in the first place—stupid, stupid, stupid—he was gonna get Jason’ed and it was his dumbass fault.

Stupid, he mentally hissed at himself as the door closed. Utterly brainless! Dumb, thoughtless, moronic, half-witted, empty-headed, dim, daft, dumb as fuck.

But Noneya didn’t move to attack him, instead flicking some lights on to reveal the electronics store wasn’t an electronics store at all anymore—it was entirely renovated and looked more like either a very small apartment or a very big bedroom.

A cot was tucked into the furthermost corner—with a view of all vantage points, Tim noticed—and there was a pillow and light blanket tossed on it, a microwave rested on a desk across from it with a minifridge right beside that, and a lamp also on the shabby desk. Several monitors were set up on a separate table, nearest to the entrance, and looked to be working on something.

Noneya tossed his helmet on the cot and ran a hand through his hair, back to Tim, and Tim found himself curious as to just who this man was. Maybe if he could get a look at Noneya’s face, he could snap a picture with the domino lenses and run it through databases back in the Batcave to give Noneya an actual name.

“Right, well, we’ve reached the middle ground, Robin,” Noneya sighed, dropping his hand to his hip and turning his head to face Tim. “You can call me Simon.”

No way that was Noneya’s real name, but it was a start.

Tim nodded, then couldn’t hold his question back any longer.

“Did you do something to Nightwing?”

Simon snorted, not missing a beat as he tossed himself into the chair in front of the desk with the monitors and started to analyze what was being displayed. “Way to keep a secret, Rob.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

Key-clacking was his only response for a few seconds, then Simon hummed and said, “I know.”

Narrowing his eyes, Tim rested his hand on the bo-staff.

Glancing over at the subtle movement, Simon threw his head back and laughed, his hands going to his gut as he did.

“Is that you threatening me?” he continued to laugh. “God, how long have you been at the gig?”

The laughter was surprisingly offensive, and Tim gritted his teeth. “Answer the question.”

“I didn’t do shit to Dick, kid.”

Simon had returned to whatever he’d been doing, attention wholly on the screens displayed before him, and didn’t seem to notice the name he’d dropped.

It made Tim tense.

“What did you just say?” Tim asked, hand tightening around his bo-staff. This guy would be a risk if he knew their identities—Tim took back mentally wanting this guy to be one of his heroes. This was a big issue.

“I said,” Simon repeated in an irritated exhale, “that I didn’t do shit to Dick.” Lower, he muttered, “Why does everyone think I’m the issue?”

He didn’t really think before he was moving, if anyone would believe him (which they probably wouldn’t).

Tim blinked and he was behind Simon—had slammed Simon’s face into the desk, actually, and Simon was swearing a blue streak.

“I—uh, I’m sorry!”

He was panicking. Why was he panicking? He’d trained for this! Tim was Robin, he’d dealt with scarier villains! (No he hadn’t. The worst Batman let him deal with was Riddler, and this guy was much more intimidating than some dude who shoved himself into a purple and green suit)

Simon continued swearing his heart out as he held his nose, but he was doing it in Spanish now, and wow Tim hadn’t ever heard swearing like that before.

“Joder—fucking hell, kid, that hurt.”

Refusing to continue apologizing, Tim tried to play it off and said, “Who’s Dick?”

That surprised a laugh out of Simon.

“Puto, you basically just spoiled the secret. If I hadn’t known who was behind what mask before, Batman would probably be within whatever fucked up rights he has he has to either ground you or fire you.” Simon eyed him, holding his nose, and asked, “Are you even one of his kids? Damn he replaced the last one quicker than a speedster on drugs, huh?”

Tim…

Had no idea what the fuck he was supposed to say to that.

“Uh…”

Simon rolled his eyes and returned to the monitors.

“To answer your original question, no hice nada,” he said, clicking into different tabs. “Penguin got the drop on your brother. Auctioned him off to Edward Skeevers.”

Tim sucked in a sharp breath at the name, and Simon hummed.

“Exactamente. I’m tryna help y’all get your Dick back,” Simon continued, turning to give Tim a pointed look. “I don’ appreciate the effort you made t’break my nose.”

Still at a loss for words, Tim didn’t think before he was saying, “It didn’t work?”

Fucking hell, where’s the filter between my brain and my mouth?

Thankfully, Simon barked a laugh at that and replied, “Not quite. Casi. M’nose hurts like a motherfucker.”

“Oh.” Tim sat down on the floor next to Simon and looked up at him, eyeing the shock of white in the guy’s hair. “S’too bad.”

Simon hummed again and it went silent as he worked on the computers and updated some files.

When Tim had collected himself and his thoughts, he made a decision and sat up straighter.

“How can I help?”

Simon raised a brow and glanced over at him.

“Pardon?” he asked.

“How can I help?” Tim repeated, gaze locked on Simon’s own, and he noticed that Simon’s eyes were an unnatural, vivid acidic green.

He knew that shade from somewhere.

“You’re looking for Dick, right?” Tim pressed, scooting a little closer.

Simon frowned.

“…how willing are ya to do some footwork?”

And Tim was in.

[smg4andbeetlejuicefanatic]

Taken For Granted

Just a little drabble based on thoughts/headcanons I had about @frappichuni‘s Bad Dolphin AU. You might need some tissues for this. >;)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

George and Harold stood in the hallway during passing period watching the other students go on their merry way. Krupp and Edith were having a pleasant conversation nearby next to a window which the rain that fell outside could be seen. It was one of those days that seemed happy and gloomy at the same time.

“Hey Harold?” George turned to the curly blonde.

“Yeah?” Harold asked in return, playing a game on his phone.

“This is probably a weird question but.....do you love your sister?” George asked nervously, fiddling with his fingers.

Harold stopped playing his phone and looked up a bit with a confused expression. He then looked to the boy who’d turned lizard. “You’re asking me this why?” he said.

“Well, I was just thinking...” George began. Before he could continue, however, the sister in question appeared beside them; and she didn’t look happy.

Harold studied her angry expression. “What’s your problem?” he asked.

“No, I’m not having a good day. Thanks for caring enough to ask.” she answered, her tone sour.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Harold asked again, now annoyed.

“It means that I’m having trouble making friends but my brother, the one friend I thought I had, doesn’t care one bit.” she answered again, crossing her arms and looking away from him.

“I never said that!” Harold exclaimed.

“You never said you do either!” Heidi responded.

“Maybe if you weren’t so angry all the time, I would!” Harold exclaimed again.

“See?! You don’t care about me!! You just admitted it!!!” Heidi shouted, pointing at her sibling. She felt her heart begin to break slowly.

“Name one reason why you should think that.” Harold stated seriously, crossing his own arms.

“When I was little, you promised me that you’d be my best friend forever.” Heidi started. “But then you met George and said the same thing to him. I don’t hate him, but ever since then, you’ve spent every minute of you’re life with him and acted like I was invisible.” she continued. “You broke your promise to me, Harold, and it still hurts to this day; but you never once bothered to ask me how I feel.” she added.

The girl tried hard to keep her smaragdine eyes from filling with tears, but a few still managed to appear.

“And another reason is because you abandoned me and mom!” Heidi continued to speak, resulting in an offended Harold.

“What?! No I didn’t!!” he shouted.

“YES YOU DID!!!” Heidi yelled back, gaining everyone’s attention. “YOU LEFT US TO LIVE WITH SOME STUPID SCIENTIST GUY!!!”

“HE’S NOT STUPID!!!” Harold began yelling as well. “HE’S THE ONLY DAD I’VE EVER HAD!!!”

“Will you two stop shouting?!” Krupp yelled from where he stood with Edith.

“NO!!!” both Hutchins kids yelled back.

“YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HIM, HAROLD! AND BY THE LOOKS OF YOU IT DOESN’T SEEM LIKE HE’S A GOOD PARENT! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’D CHOOSE THAT GUY OVER YOUR OWN FAMILY!!!” Heidi kept shouting.

SLAP!

Harold’s hand collided with the left side of her face, leaving a red mark.

Everyone gasped at the sight, but the fact that he’d just hurt his only sibling didn’t seem to phase Harold at all.

Heidi, shocked and stunned, placed her left hand on her cheek lightly; a stinging sensation rushing through that side of her face. This wasn’t the Harold she knew.

“MY DAD IS A GREAT PARENT! AND YOU KNOW WHAT?! MELVIN IS A BETTER SIBLING THAN YOU EVER WERE, BECAUSE UNLIKE YOU, HE ISN’T A LITTLE SELFISH ANNOYING BRAT!!!” It was Harold’s turn to yell, and the things he said weren’t nice. He gestured to Melvin upon his mention, which made the boy with the glasses nervous.

“This is why I never spent any time with you!” Harold’s voice got a little quieter, but that didn’t stop him from lashing out. “I WISH YOU WERE OUT OF MY LIFE!!!” Harold finally stopped after this, and everyone gasped again at this statement.

This sunk Heidi’s battleship, and the tears she fought so hard to keep from flowing suddenly exploded from her eyes like water from a dam that had just broke.

“WELL IT’S NOT LIKE I WAS IN IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!” she cried before running away from him. She rushed past everyone that had witnessed the event and past Edith and Krupp before running outside through the entrance doors into the rain; Krupp calling her name as she did, but she ignored him.

Everyone then turned to Harold, all showing their silent anger to him in their own way. Jessica and the Sophies had their arms crossed, Bo shook his head slowly, Gooch refused to look his direction--even Dressy looked like she wanted to punch him.

Krupp had his arms crossed as well and looked to be the angriest of all (which wasn’t really that surprising). Edith had that disappointed type of anger.

“I can’t believe you.” George murmured, just loud enough for Harold to hear.

“I’m going after her.” the lizard boy then stated, running on all fours toward the entrance. “I’ll come with you, you might need help.” Melvin replied, flying out the door with him.

They got to the street and stopped. “Which way did she go?” George asked, looking around worriedly. Melvin pointed when he spotted her. “She’s over there!” he exclaimed, and he and George took off in that direction.

Heidi was walking with her arms around herself when she heard Melvin’s voice, and started running again when she saw them coming towards her; not wanting to let them catch her lest they take her back to Harold.

Maybe if I go across the street, I’ll get further away. Heidi thought, and she decided to test that theory. Without looking back, she ran into the street.

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEE--

She didn’t get very far before a loud noise sounded from behind her.

In fear, she stopped and turned around, and her eyes met with a bright light as she heard George shout something.

CRASH!

The car couldn’t stop in time because of the slippery road, and she was hit; shattering the headlight that collided with her head and sending her tumbling a couple of feet.

Neither George or Melvin could move from shock. Both could only stare with wide eyes, and Melvin covered his mouth with both hands.

“I’m going to get Mr. Krupp!” he exclaimed, flying away as the lady that drove the car got out and frantically ran to the poor girl.

“George!”

George’s eyes widened even more when he heard a familiar voice in the distance.

“Krupp made me come after you guys.” Harold said as he got closer. “Did you find--...her?....” his voice trailed off as he looked to the scene in front of him, and George hung his head.

His good eye (the other has an eyepatch over it) widened when he saw his one and only sister lying motionless on the ground, and regret immediately started to build up inside him, and he had little visions of the past when the two of them were happy together; including the first time he held her after she was born.

“HEIDIIIIII!!!” he screamed her name as he ran over to her, tears now falling.

As he turned her over, held her in his arms; his hands getting cold from her rain-soaked pretty blue dress. Her curly strawberry blonde hair was also soaked (along with the blue bow she wore in it) and in the spot where she’d been hit were little shards of glass and a crimson stain that grew darker every second.

The tears that she cried still made streams down her face; as well as little droplets of blood.

Harold stared at this face, and felt his heart shatter. This face once bore smiles he loved to see.

And he ruined it.

He held her close and let out all his emotions. “I’M SORRY, HEIDI!!!” he screamed. “I’M SO SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN IT!!! PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME!!!” he continued through his sobs.

George sobbed quietly to himself. He’d always considered Heidi to be the sister he never had.

Melvin came back with Krupp, and he saw the scene, too. The principal went to talk to the lady, but Harold didn’t listen.

“I’m so sorry sis...” he whispered. “...I love you...”

All that could be heard now was the rain, Harold’s broken sobs, and the wailing siren of an ambulance in the near distance.

[red-flare-art]

Fallout OC Interview!

Tagged by @boarix, thank you! :D

Rules:

1) Choose an OC

2) Answer questions as that OC

3) Tag 5 people to do the same

I feel like everyone I know has already been tagged, so whoever wants to do this with their OC, consider yourself tagged. :P

(I'm gonna do my lone wanderer Ruby, before finding her dad & before becoming romantic with Charon)

1) What is your name? My name’s Ruby! Ruby Flynn

2) How old are you? 19, but I’ll be turning 20 real soon

3) What do you look like? I’m about 5′5″, pale, scrawny, green eyes, I wear glasses, & I’ve got red hair with the right side of my head shaved.

4) Where are you from? Where do you live now? I was raised in vault 101 by my dad, but I currently live in Megaton in my very own house with a robot butler & everything! It’s pretty sweet.

5) What was your childhood like? I didn’t have a lot of friends growing up. Hell, I pretty much only had one, & that was Amata. Her dad was the overseer & he didn’t really like me or my dad. I was always seen as the weird kid & got picked on regularly by Butch & his “gang.” I never made it easy for them though; I always fought back. But of course I would get into trouble because I did.

6) What groups are you friendly with? Are you allied with any factions? People in Megaton like me a lot, since I disarmed the bomb in the center of town & I fixed the water pipes. I’m pretty good friends with the kids over in Little Lamplight & the older kids over in Big Town as well. & all the ghouls in Underworld seem to like me too, since I’m there all the time & I’ve helped them out a bunch. The BOS seem okay with me, but I don’t think they like the fact that I travel with a ghoul, & they generally don’t like outsiders.

7) Tell me about your best friend. My best friend in the vault was Amata, but after I killed her dad before escaping the vault, we’re...not really friends anymore. But now I’ve got Charon, who’s the best friend I’ve ever had! He tends to come off as a big, mean, grumpy guy, but he’s got a soft & sweet side (don’t tell him I said that though, cuz he’ll deny it).

8) Do you have a family? Tell me about them! My only family is my dad, since my mom died giving birth to me. My dad is a doctor & a scientist, & he’s really smart. He’s really passionate about his work, which most would say is an admirable trait, but he spent more time on his work than he did with me, so...I had a lot of alone time as a kid.

9) What about a partner or partners? Partner? Hmm. I guess you could say Charon is my partner, since we watch each other’s back & take care of each other. Is that what you mean? 

10) Who are your enemies, and why? Well, I guess the Talon company would count, since they all seem to be after my head. Also the slavers at Paradise Falls, because they’re scum & I hate them. Also any raiders out there can fuck off. & the Enclave. & everyone back in Vault 101. & Moriarty. & Roy Phillips. (Man, I have a lot more enemies than I thought...)

11) Have you ever heard of The Brotherhood of Steel? What do you think about them? Some of them are okay. The ones that seem to actually wanna help people, anyway. But most of them seem to hate “outsiders,” & they definitely don’t like ghouls, which is stupid.

12) What about The Enclave? The enclave are crazy. The whole idea of rebuilding America with that weird “president” of theirs is nuts. They stomp around like they own the place & take things by force, with no regard for the people just trying to get by in the wasteland, so fuck ‘em. 

13) How do you feel about Super Mutants? They’re really annoying. They seem to be everywhere & have a ton of armor & weapons, so they’re a real pain to take down. Especially when you’re just trying to get from one place to another & you have to pass through their territory. They don’t let up!

14) What’s the craziest fight you’ve ever been in? I’ve been in situations where Raiders, mutants, & radscorpions are coming from all sides, but they also fight each other, so it gets pretty crazy. Luckily you can just shoot at any of them and you’re bound to hit something.

15) Have you ever fought a Deathclaw? Oof, yeah. I’ve fought quite a few in Old Oney & even the Deathclaw Sanctuary. Those things are fast & deadly, which is a dangerous combination.

16) Do you like fighting? Eh...I mean, there’s a certain thrill to it that I like, but that usually happens after the fight is over & you get that “holy shit, that was crazy!” kind of feeling. Especially when me & Charon are working together & fighting off bad guys. But obviously, I’d rather not have to fight every asshole or creature I come across. 

17) What’s your weapon of choice? I’m fond of fire-based weapons, like the flamer or the Shishkebab. They’re just so effective & intimidating & badass! Helps keep the enemy at a distance too, y’know?

18) How do you survive? Your wits, your charm, your skills, brute force, some combination? (a.k.a. what’s your S.P.E.C.I.A.L?) I’m not very strong, or tough, but I’m smart & fast, & I’m pretty good at talking my way out of a sticky situation. I leave all the muscle to Charon. I’m the brains & he’s the brawn. 

19) Have you ever been in a vault? What do you think about them? Well, yeah. I was raised in one. & I’ve been to several around the capitol wasteland too. I can’t say I’m very fond of them. A lot of bad memories associated with my own vault, & seeing all the horrible experiments that Vault-tec performed with the other vaults makes me sick.

20) How do you beat all the radiation around here? Has it affected you? I make sure to take a lot of Rad-x & Radaway, & so far I seem to be ok. I’ve gotten pretty sick & nauseous a few times, but I always bounce back.  

21) What’s your favorite wasteland critter? I think the molerats are kinda cute. I also like dogs, but not the rabid ones. The furry ones like Dogmeat. Brahmin are ok, but they’re not very cute.

22) What’s your least favorite wasteland critter? Radscorpions. Those bastards are everywhere & they’re huge & gross a pain in the ass to kill. 

23) How do you feel about robots? Robots are pretty cool I guess. Can’t say I love ‘em or hate ‘em either way.

24) How many caps do you have on you right now? I’ve lost count, lol. But I’ve got a ton. I’m really good at bartering & saving. Now I don’t even know what to spend them on.

25) Nuka Cola or Sunset Sarsaparilla? What the hell is Sunset Sarsaparilla?

26) Do you do chems? Only in emergencies or for medical reasons. 

27) Do you ever think about the Pre-War world? Yeah, but the only reference I have for what it was like is from old books we had in the vault, & even a few videos & holotapes. So it’s hard for me to imagine what it was really like. Hell, It was hard for me to imagine what anything looked like outside of the vault growing up, so it was a big shock when I finally got out.

28) What’s your deepest regret? What would you do differently? Part of me wishes I hadn’t killed Amata’s dad...maybe then she wouldn’t be mad at me. But in the end I guess it doesn’t really matter, because I’m never going back, so it’s not like I was ever going to see her again anyway...Besides, her dad was an asshole & he deserved it.

29) What’s your biggest achievement? Or what do you hope to achieve? Hmm...I dunno. Maybe disarming the bomb in Megaton? or killing a super mutant behemoth? There’s still a lot of wasteland to explore, so I’m sure there will be other things I can accomplish. But I do hope I find my dad soon...or at least find out what happened to him.

30) What do you want for the future? For yourself? Your friends? The world? I just wanna make the capitol wasteland a safer place for everyone, if I can. But for myself...maybe, I dunno...not necessarily “settle down” with someone, but just find someone who’ll stick with me, no matter where I decide to go or what I decide to do. Like a...life partner. OH WAIT, THAT’S WHAT YOU MEANT EARLIER!

[redrobin-detective]

Prompt: What about a story where it's the first time Tim and Kon get close. Like around late Young Justice, or in the break between Young Justice and Teen Titans or something. It can be anything ya want but if you need something more specific it can be Tim having doubts he's a good Robin in secret and Kon happens to hear him.

This is the last ask! I saved this one for last because I was intrigued by the prompt as something I’d kind of played around as an idea about early Tim/Kon. This is earlier than you had listed, more like early YJ, I hope that’s ok! I was just excited for an excuse to write this idea on how Tim and Kon first started becoming friends (with maybe the opportunity to become more later)

Superboy, newly dubbed Kon-El, examined the note he’d found taped to his new room at Mount Justice where he’d been crashing since, well, he had no other place to go. The Gym, 3pm, Be ready to fight. Seeing as only him, Impulse and the new Robin came to the old headquarters they sort of commandeered for themselves and Imp had illegible chicken scratch, you didn’t have to be the World’s Greatest Detective to figure out who was challenging him. He tucked the note into his pocket and kept walking, determined to see what their little group’s resident human was up to.

He honestly didn’t know what to make of the Boy Wonder. I mean, yeah, Superman had gone on before about how impressive Batman was but his kid sidekick didn’t do anything for Kon. He was tiny for one, smaller than even Imp who was just a skinny beanpole himself. Rob was kind of annoying and naggy too, trying to direct and boss around the two metas like he was the leader or something. And who ever thought it was a good idea to put some random dude, a teenager even, in charge of a bunch of superheroes? So maybe that’s why he finds himself walking down to the Mountain’s gym at 10 to 3. He’s curious what the human thinks he can do to someone as strong (nearly) as Superman. Kon probably should be more worried about accidently hurting the kid, they were like maybe sorta friends after all, but right now he really wanted to punch something. Supes let him use the name and the symbol but no matter how much Kon tried, the man wouldn’t give him the time of day. All Kon had was his costume, a rundown secondhand base, a crazy speedster kid and an annoying prep.

He pushes open the gym doors and finds Robin is already there, stretching and working out. He doesn’t even look up as Kon enters, just keeps swinging that dumb staff around. Kon notes that the kid is out of his usual uniform, down to a faded band shirt and workout pants. Rob’s even got a thin sheen of sweat over his body and Kon has to wonder how long he’s been here, not that a few push-ups will help him against the Boy of Steel.

“I got your note,” Kon says lightly just to add some sound to the eerily quiet gym. With a final grunt, Rob stops his workout and grabs a towel to wash himself off for a second.

“Obviously or else you wouldn’t be here,” Robin levels him with an intense look. “I’m also assuming your presence here means you’ve accepted the challenge.” Kon snorted at the kid’s prim attitude and pushed himself down onto the bench by the door.

“Look, I can imagine it’s pretty weird, maybe emasculating, to be just a normal guy surrounded by a bunch of metas but you gotta see this is crazy. I could like, break every bone in your body with my pinky finger.” Kon shrugs with a brazen smile. “So you should stick to purse snatchers and muggers, Me and Imp can handle the big stuff.” Rob’s face turns sour so Kon holds up his hands in a placating manner. “Look ok, just chill. Come on, lets go watch some TV or something, I really don’t want to hurt you.” Instead, Robin puts his stupid staff out, as if it could have any effect on Kon. His face is dark with determination.

“I appreciate your concern but if you’re that confident in yours skills then why don’t you come over and show me? Or do I need to tell Superman that you were too afraid to fight the boring human on your new team?” Kon’s shoulder tense at Robin’s tone and before he knows it, Kon is shrugging off his jacket and walking to the center of the ring. Maybe Rob knows his situation with Big Blue, maybe he doesn’t, but Kon can’t let that slight go either way. Maybe beating up Batman’s kid will get him a little cred with the League.

“Are there any rules to this?” He grounds out and Robin just smiles.

“We go by Batman’s rules: do anything you can to take down your opponent without causing any permanent damage. You’re free to use your environment as you see fit.” Rob responds, giving his staff a twirl before settling into a solid stance.

“Fine, but don’t come crying to me when this is over in three seconds.” Kon grumbles readying himself before launching himself at the other boy. He isn’t overly surprised when Rob dodges his admittedly clumsy attack but he is taken off guard when the kid grabs him and redirects him so Kon crashes face first into the floor. Ok, that was uncomfortable.

“You need to work on not leaving yourself so open.” Rob says just a little smugly and Kon growls and gets back to his feet and goes again for Rob. This time, he’s fully concentrating on the vigilante, intent on grabbing his stupid staff and breaking it in half. Again though, Robin moves gracefully, sidestepping Kon’s attack and smacking him so hard and precisely in the gut that Kon feels a bit out of breath. How the hell did he even do that? “Come on Superboy, I’m not even breaking a sweat. I know you can do better than that.”

But Kon is seeing red at this point. Who is this punk kid to mock him like this. Rob, who’s got a scary but pretty attentive mentor. Rob, who looks like he’s nine and talks like he’s forty and probably has never kissed a girl in his life. This human who probably had everything in life handed to him and thinks he’ll score more brownie points by taking down a meta. Well Kon’s had enough people laughing at him in his pitifully short life and he’s not gonna take anymore of it. With a growl, Kon flies forward, probably faster than Rob can see. He grabs onto the small wrist and squeezes, he hears a hiss but before he can let up, Rob has slipped from his grasp. He does some freaky bat trick but Kon is able to reach out and grab the brat by his tee-shirt and drag him back. He lifts Rob up until they’re eye to mask, the kid’s feet dangling off the ground. 

 "You think you’re so cool cause Batman’s your dad or whatever?“ Kon says, Rob gets in a few good hits but he’s willing to bet they hurt the other kid more than him. “Well I have had it with other heroes thinking they can walk all over me cause I’m a clone or whatever. I’m in this hero game too so you all can take your pretentious crap and shove it up your-” Rob is squirming some more and soon, the lights above him turn a funny red color. Kon doesn’t have much time to contemplate the change in scenery when he finds he can’t hold the other boy up anymore, in fact, it feels like all his strength has just left him. Robin is deposited back onto the floor and brings his knee up into Kon’s gut. Unlike the last hit which left the clone feeling a tad winded, this completely knocks the breath out of his lungs. He staggers back, curling protectively over his stomach but Rob continues his attack. He uses his bo as a sort of pole vault and launches himself as Kon, he tries to move but the other hero is too fast and Kon is pushed forcefully backwards. It’s all he can do to maintain his balance.

He lets go of his stomach to try grabbing at the other boy but Rob swiftly blocks any attempts and wraps one leg around Kon’s, flipping him upwards. Kon hits the mat hard and a second later, the staff is at his throat and Rob is hovering over him with a neutral expression on his face as he grips Kon’s wrists and tangles his legs, preventing the clone from moving.

“You’re out of options, the match goes to me.” Robin says plainly. And Kon deflates because, damn, he can’t move at all and what the hell are these lights doing to him that a 115 lb kid is pinning him down. He squeezes his eyes shut in shame, so much for him hitting the big leagues.

“Yeah, ok I give.” He says quietly and Robin loosens his hold on him and the two of them sit up. Rob is kneeling beside him, extending a hand out to help to help him up and he’s overwhelmed with a sense of rage and, before he can think, brings his head forward and headbutts the other hero. Both of yelp at the sudden pain and grip their heads.

“What the hell?” Rob asks, glaring at the clone while holding onto his aching head. “You called it, the match was over.” But Kon is too mad to even think about that so still lying down, he roughly shoves the kid beside him.

“The hell did you do to me?” He demands and Rob is still gripping his head but reaches over for his staff and clicks a button causing the lights to return to their normal color. Kon takes in a deep, grateful breath as his strength and powers return to him. Even the pain from all the blows he gave and took vanishes.

“Red solar radiation is a weakness of Superman’s,” Rob winces, rubbing what’s sure to end up a brilliant bruise on his forehead. “He and all Kryptonians get their powers from Earth’s yellow sun. Red solar energy, like in the lights I put in 2 hours ago, cancel out the yellow sun and leave you powerless.” Kon blinks and squints up at the lights.

“I uh didn’t know that.” He admits finally cause what else can he say? Rob gives him a wry little smirk as Kon clamors so he’s partially sitting up.

“You really should know the limitations of your powers. If we run into a place without a yellow sun, you’d be useless.” Kon frowns at the implications. “Similarly, I’m not totally useless either. I was able to hold my own against you for a while and then when I switched on the lights I whipped your butt.”

“Yeah but you can’t do that every time you fight a bad guy,” Kon argues back even as he’s starting to see the point his friend was trying to make. Rob ceases rubbing his head in order to cross his arms.

“No but I am a pretty decent detective and I’m getting better at planning and solving problems. With time and information, I can manipulate events in my favor to make up for my lack of powers and be just as valuable to the team as a meta.” Rob looks away shyly. “I need to be able to stay on this team Kon. Batman’s not exactly thrilled to have me as his Robin and he keeps threatening to bench me for good. I know I can be useful, more useful than I am sitting alone in Gotham, but I keep having to prove to people that I’m strong enough.” And Kon well, he doesn’t know how to answer it because Rob just voiced the exact same fears he’d been having.

“What the hell man, why would Batman bench you? You rock dude, you kick major ass for a little guy. You are so overqualified. We are like, so lucky to have you on this stupid team.” Rob smiles a little at the compliment before a frown once again overtakes his face.

“I wasn’t exactly chosen as Robin, I kind of forced my way in after um the last guy died. Batman’s not happy that I took his dead son’s name and uniform but I thought I was doing the right thing at the time. Now I’m not so sure, but I have these skills and want to be of use to somebody, anyone who’ll take me really.”

“You and me both buddy,” and Rob’s looking at him now and, well shit, the guy did just confess his feelings so what the hell. “Superman ain’t exactly rolling out the welcome wagon for me either. Guess it makes sense he’d be spooked about some teenage clone made from DNA stolen from his dead body but, yeah, I’m looking for somewhere to hang too, people to roll with and help save the world.” Robin smiles suddenly, it’s warm and welcoming and Conner feels his heart speed up a little bit at the sight. Okay wow, he so does not need that but the feeling doesn’t exactly go away. Robin gets to his knees and extends out his hand and helps Superboy to his feet.

“Well then, I guess we’re just going to have to make due with each other, at least until we’ve earned their respect.” Rob says with that open smile, he lets go of Kon to rub at the back of his neck. “Sorry about the red lights and all, I imagine that must have been pretty freaky. I can go over what I know of Kryptonian physiology so you’ll be prepared next time. We can train you to work through it.” Kon, slightly upset when Rob releases his hand, shrugs.

“That sounds good and it’s all good man, sorry for headbutting you. That was pretty uncool of me.” Rob gives him a light punch in the arm.

“So we’re even then. You treat me with respect and stop making fun of me because I’m human and I’ll respect you and try and help you get better. Sound good?” Kon grins, really grins for the first time since this whole Young Justice thing happened, he’s been through an awful lot but he thinks he’s just made his first friend. He doesn’t know where the future will take him but right now he thinks he could handle anything is Robin is there to help and support him.

“Yeah man, but seriously, can we take a break? Let’s go watch Wendy together, you haven’t lived til you’ve seen Wendy the Werewolf Hunter.”