l0v3lyb0ne5

[l0v3lyb0ne5]

Binging feels so good - for two seconds, before the "what the f✿︎ck have I done?" hits me like a punch in the guts. In my disgusting guts. I don't know what to think when I look at the pile of food in front of me. I've hit rock bottom, and I did it on my own. Hating my body feels like home now, I can't live like this any longer. I need to commit to my ed, to my life, to myself.

I see beauty in everyone. There must be some in me too, I just need to find it.

[l0v3lyb0ne5]

How it feels to binge

[l0v3lyb0ne5]

a day at the beach

[l0v3lyb0ne5]

tips to avoid anemia? tips on how to treat it? (Dr is questioning, got blood tested and still waiting on results)

[l0v3lyb0ne5]

liquids for the day (my fave days). still feeling the menstrual-caused binge from 2 days ago … couldn’t feel hungry even after smoking yesterday was how full i still was 🤢

[l0v3lyb0ne5]

i need a scale

[l0v3lyb0ne5]

I’m finally back to that point in my ED where I just feel.. euphoric. It’s the best high in the world. I’m numb to everything but ⭐️ving and I never want it to stop.

[l0v3lyb0ne5]

doctors are the biggest liars no ⭐️ving isnt that bad stop lying just me let me be happy

[l0v3lyb0ne5]

i hate chips. they’re not filling, so high cal, so cheap & accessible, and i keep eating them. like please i never want to see a chip again.

[l0v3lyb0ne5]

watching supersize vs superskinny is my guilty pleasure

[l0v3lyb0ne5]

i can’t wait until i look effortlessly skinny. like i can just walk around in shorts or a cute pajama set and it looks so natural and elegant because i finally did something right.

[l0v3lyb0ne5]

i just want to f*****g purr . i barely even eat, my stomach bloats, i feel it in my throat n just want to get it all out. the guilt. i feel so disappointed especially when i see pics of ppl n im like THAT COULD BE ME.

[l0v3lyb0ne5]

i want to fast till i feel like fainting

[l0v3lyb0ne5]

anti-binge guide:

~ read this list 20 times ~

count to 100 very slowly

talk on the phone with someone

clean up something gross (bye I never did this one to be honest, lmao. no thank yo)

go out on a walk

pour salt over craving food (also a popular one I never did. a bitch just didn’t like to waste salt or food like that. i say that while heavily relying on number 10 🤡)

make a list of triggers + avoid them // find low cal fibrous, filling alternatives

go outside and do 20 pushups + 100 jumping jacks (the jiggling was enough of an anti-binge lmao); bonus, do in front of a mirror (this is just cruel but also effective so idk yall, take your gander)

take a shot of ACV (LIGHT IT UPPPP lmao, pretend you’re clubbing but the vodka is vinegar and rather than feeling buzzed and happy, you’re miserable and desperate. but babes, we gotta romanticize this, so party it up anyways lmao)

sleep

c/s (wastes food, but worked wonders for me. just make sure you have at least a bite at the end, and rinse the mouth, but don’t brush to preserve that enamel)

listen to a podcast / read a book

watch something gory

write in your diary

th1nsp0

make a food planner for next week

calculate the deficit yoo’ll maintain for the week and the lbs progress if you don’t binge (it feels like a reward then, to refrain)

online window shop for clothes you want to fit in

dance / go on a run

take a shower/bath

do some self care. attend to those emotional needs rather than using food as an emotional crutch. sis is not your therapist.

chew on ice (i was never this desperate lmao)

plan a controlled metabolism day and work the foods you want to binge on now in that day to practice moderation and portion control while also reinforcing discipline

STOP if you have already started. you don’t have to continue. you’re okay. you still have control. stop now and prove it to yourself.

learn some biology (human anatomy, physiology, etc)

✨some affirmations✨:

~ repeat these to yourself for as long as it takes for the urge to binge to go away ~

food does not hold power over me

i don’t actually want this

*this food* actually really grosses me out

i don’t even like to eat

i’m going to put this away because i don’t need it and i listen to my needs

i am such an intuitive eater. i know when to stop eating naturally

its so easy for me to not eat

not eating is so easy

i take care of my emotional needs rather than numbing them away with food

food won’t make me feel better. self care will

i take care of myself.

i am committed to taking care of myself

i don’t even want to eat anymore.

i have no appetite. i never do

this food taste so gross and it lingers in the mouth. why would i want to eat something like that

i naturally crave fruits and vegetables.

i naturally eat healthy

i feel so much lighter and happier when i don’t eat

i feel better now that i said no to *this food*

i don’t really need food

i am actually really thirsty. i need water, not food

i am okay

i have control over myself and my body because i listen to it and take of it

i have discipline because i am naturally built for this

i am okay

i will be okay

this urge is not the end of the world. i don’t have to give in

just because i have a desire, that doesn’t compel me to fulfil it. i have more self control than that

i am okay.

i will be okay.

i am strong

i am okay

[l0v3lyb0ne5]

until i can see all my bones