#other than that im fine its getting rlly cold where i am unfortunately meaning i dont want to get up in the mornings lol

[suenitos]

I'm looking for the witch hat I know I have because tomorrow I have a costume party and I just don't have any. How's your life aside being wet and pathetic

ooh a party i hope you have so much fun ^^ and hey >:(

[seijch]

just binge read ur previous asks for the sleepover and i was very much entertained😌 how would ur top 3 ACTUALLY dress? like we always see those “outfits the hq boys would wear” but they seem so... unrealistic😭🤚

whack me w a pillow or smth (sleepover event)

OK HI I WAS THINKING ABT THIS MY WHOLE SHIFT N ENDED UP HAVING ENOUGH BRAINROT TO TYPE A WHOLE THING IN THE NOTES APP SO HERE WE GO!!! 😈💯

ok im typing this after finishing the post but i rlly like the way this came out so everyone please read it if you want to see me brainrot over konoha kenji n kuroo ...

KONOHA is definitely a man who Knows his essentials ... knows the beauty of sweatpants and joggers and knows that he looks Good in a solid colored tee (but doesnt shy away from print ... its just that if you open his closet its literally black white n the occasional pop of color) i would LOVE to say he accessorizes but no he doesnt 💔💔 its his fatal flaw too ..... dont be shy aki let me buy you one of those chain bracelets!!!!! those are sexy as fuck and i PROMISE they would make him look even better!!!!!!! in general he gives me big silver or white gold vibes even if i cant see him wearing jewelry on his own :/ its ok if he were to date me id make him come around to the idea ...

he gives white air max 90 or air force 1 vibes does that make sense . if anything has color in his fit its maybe some print on his shirt but if not its DEFINITELY his shoes ... i was thinking abt this but i think hed look good in the bel air jordan 5s but maybe thats just bc i wanted to get a pair NJFKDSFS if we want to get a little less realistic (i mean not rlly bc i know ppl who do this) he probably keeps up w supreme drops n its less to resell and more to get the clothes at retail price which is MUCH more reasonable than resell (i think its 40 for a shirt? idk my friend keeps up w it n i love to hear him brainrot but that doesnt mean i retain ALL the information 🤕)

:: go-to outfit? say it with me ... white shirt/crewneck sweater if it’s cold with sweats. if he needs to dress it up, hell throw on some plaid or switch it up w some nice jeans. unlike the other two he has a good idea of how to dress throughout his life which makes looking Back a much . easier experience compared to the other two LMAO

FUTAKUCHI swears by the denim gods when he needs to actually Care abt his outfits and im MAD abt it bc how dare he look good .... im going to fucking kill him 🪓🪓🪓🪓 the image of kenji in a denim jacket w a hoodie underneath n some ripped jeans haunts my every waking moment you dont understand......... hes ALSO a plaid man which pisses me off even more .... but im going to be honest he uses outerwear to hide the fact that theres definitely a hole in the armpit of his favorite shirts ... hes had them since high school kenji PLEASE buy some new shirts!!!! probably suffers in summer bc he cant wear jackets n stuff without looking weird (has definitely said hes wearing plaid For The Fit when in reality its bc theres a stain on the back of his shirt from when he sat in bird shit. its Artistic baby speak your truth!!!)

at least you can convince konoha to wear jewelry if you keep at it ... while i think kenji gives silver vibes over gold i dont think you would be able to convince him to wear it unless youve already bought it and basically ambush him with it JKSDFDS if anything i think hed settle for those leather bracelets ... its ok his ego is fragile ❤ shoe wise idk he gives me vans vibes (so does konoha but he also looks like a nike stan so i said that instead). if he lives somewhere cold he probably owns a pair of those classic wheat colored timbs (You Know The Ones)

i can tell you RIGHT NOW that in elem and junior high he was one of those kids w the neon athletic fits that took pe too serious when he got in the groove 😐 shut the fuck up n pass me the ball kenji were in fourth grade i shouldnt be failing PARTICIPATION in PE 🗣🗣🗣

:: go-to outfit? a rlly comfy denim jacket (hell let you borrow it if you bitch enough n hell be like Sigh . The Things I Do For You but when you slip it on hes abt to combust) w a shirt that probably has a chili stain at the hem of it n ripped jeans. the white slip on vans. i hate that he looks good.

KUROO is . idk i feel like hes a lot harder to pin down but he probably shopped at hot topic in middle school 💔 is this projection? maybe. am i WRONG abt it tho ... ANYWAY like everyone who grows out of that phase, he has Taste ... post college or just at the club i KNOW he understands the effect a slightly unbuttoned black shirt has 👁 prob rode the eboy wave bc he thought the fashion was nice so he might have a few of those clunky rings ... rarely wears them but bitch he SHOULD!!!! otherwise, i think he keeps it pretty simple! lots of hoodies and sweaters bc if he has no one to rlly impress hes big on comfort. owns a good amt of athleleisure (is that how you spell that hjkdfds) bc he does work out regularly but if you were to come across him during an 8am lecture i can guarantee all he did before coming to class is brush his teeth ... 

unfortunately not a chain man but while his rings may be black (yk like black titanium) or silver, if he were to wear a chain i think hed be fine with either silver or gold! i personally think hed look good in either 🙈 shoe wise i rlly cannot pin him down ... for running im seeing him leaning towards nike shoes but i like . cannot tell what hed wear regularly SHJFKDS 

what i CAN say is that when he was younger (and i mean until his second year of high school) he was one of Those Kids that wore the Quirky printed button ups but like . this time its not a compliment . in junior high he definitely thought those ... and it PAINS ME PHYSICALLY to say this ...... fingerless gloves were the coolest things around ..... i hate that i had to google that now im going to get ads for hot topic

:: go-to outfit? black hoodie w maybe some design or print on it w sweats or jeans (like konoha hell dress it up or down depending on where youre going). if you make him wear them hell even bust out the eboy rings he bought forever ago <33 i think later in life when hes more sure of himself (and i mean like after hs ... hes good in his 3rd year but i feel like hell still deflect compliments in the form of teasing and not believe it in 3rd year) he Knows he looks good so he doesnt rlly have to try unless you want to be That Couple that takes over the world one fit at the time ... in the end the only one he wants to impress is you 🙈

[chikotos]

speaking of That my mom is finally recognizing that when I say “i dont feel good” it doesnt mean i have a cold or sth its that Uh, im probably experiencing suicidal thoughts and cant express it well (or at least smth along those lines) and my house has been dirty cuz i havent cleaned in a while or i cant keep it clean and she n my sister cleaned an area and i repeatedly told her not to bc shes always using my sister to do things im not adequate enough to do on time and its rlly not fair to her even if she doesnt realize it cuz like shes only 12 & we dont ever even talk so she shouldnt have to take care of someone 5 years older than her.. and i was gonna clean but I basically slept all day so i could just clean alone at night when I feel safe to walk around the house . i wasnt even tired idk why i slept but now im eerily awake and maybe will be umless i force myself to sleep

its so lonely here and thats only hit me like this year cuz all the time before I would go through periods of hanging out after school maybe.. twice a year? and only hanging out with one person whod have many friends but theyd b my only friend which is a problem i tend to have. but it jst got to the point where im realizing, i think cuz i was in my schools drama program n exposed to lots of friendships, that im jst like ,really fucking lonely. Which is unfortunate because ive always been such an internal person at home and have been able to work creatively but thats all like leaving me? art doesnt make me happy anymore because i dislike my art so much and havent had a platform to share it in so long and i guess I thrive on other ppls opinions of it? and I definitely cant write anymore. I havent been able to zone in on an interest in MONTHS and thats left me creatively drained, a lot. 

I think im starting to rlly, RLLY redirect my complete attention from interests to ppl (which always ends well am i right lads) and it isnt fair to ppl who like, have others and need space and time etc or Uh, dont even know me. but its like a switch like , I can either be creative or i can feel loved and Boy Howdy, do i need both,

its just weird cuz im the only one in my family thats emoitonal like this and I think thats why i feel so isolated. like im not exxagerating when I say my dad has 0 friends tht arent family. my mom has work friends she will hang out with maybe 4 times a year not for work, but shes always complaining abt social situations which I can understand. maybe my siblings r like that too but my sisters young n focuses on minecraft n stuff n hangs out w friends more than me n we barely know each other so its not like id know, maybe my half brother is but whens the last time hes wanted to talk to me right. like i cry all the time and all it does is make my dad angry at memfor being incompetent and make my mom think its her fault and my sister confused and jst takes up everyones time

and its jst all v strange. like i was kinda raised 2 not have friends, inadvertantly i guess. i can remember my mom trying to make me feel better about something along the lines of u can b okay w/out friends if u have family but she jst told me friends dont matter and im never gonna talk to ppl i meet at my age as an adult, so it stuck w/ me and i started to make moral judgements on ppl on small things we could talk out like say, they use homophobic language sometimes but im sure theyd respect me enough to stop, but id make those judgements before we could befriend each other n take a chance, kinda to protect myself from attachments? but later in life ive found ppl who dont do stuff like that, and thats when i focus in on them im an unfair way to them and they r the only person/group of ppl in my life, etc etc and idk how to stop because im so scared of hanging out w/ most ppl alone i guess? but ill still be here, thinking about like example (namedrop bc he doesnt have me tumblr anyways) my friend jacob tht never hung out w/ me outside of school but i fuccin loved that kid n he just stopped talking to me over the summer n ignored my text i send first day of summer and now we see each other and talk briefly but its like he wont let us be friends anymore and smth like this always happens and its So

and tbh how can i expect it to not happen when i limit myself so much n they will have plenty of other close close friends when i dont? and i think ive gotten better but idk anymore. 

and uh, unrelated. I think my dog ive had for 12 years may have to end up being put down this year. hes got cataracts in both eyes and skin diseases and back problems and teeth problems (hes inbred) and hes losing his hearing too and for the past two weeks hes been peeing everywhere and we can let him out but he cant climb stairs anymore n he has to walk them to get to our yard and im the only one w/ the patience to pick him up (hes only 8 pounds) n put him in the yard bc my parents will jst scream at him n my sister doesnt like dogs and hes got seperation issues w me and whines when he cant be in my room which is the farthest from the door out n stuff. and its like rlly stressful my mom will scream at him in front of my sister n brother n me and the other day she said my dad grabbed him by the neck and threw him out on the concrete cuz he peed inside and hes so tiny that thats just gonna make everyting worse and its notmlike i can stop them bc why would anyone listen to me and hed prob b fine for s few more years if he lived in a patient house with ppl who would take him to the vet but theyre prob gonna put him down early snd its gonna b so weird w/out him

when i showered earlier i took s razor with me w/ the intent to cut my thighs, and i did a little, but i never ever draw blood wnd its strange. why am i given these urges when im so fucking terrified of blood. itll still leave marks n stuff but it makes me feel weak ? n ill bruise myself up instead but its never the same. and im such an advocate for help w self harm but i cant for myself. its like i subconsciously want 2 get caught ? idk. i did throw my razor away though and the others i have r rusty and im not THAT much of a dumbass so i dont have options to self harm anymore unless i get new ones. lifehack

and uh lol, having no schedule n it being summer my eating habits r SHIT. it always hurts to eat p much, its at different times n most of the time i just snck only or i dont eat for hours n see black spots n stuff. and when i dont eat its not a body image thing (im nt rlly happy w my nody but its not sth not eating will help with) its cuz i dknt wanna go upstairs for food where my dad is n the snacks r downstairs so its easier, or cuz i forget or cuz i like, want to punish myself? but im too lazy to self harm. its weird

n since ive stopped id’ing as ace officially my internalized lesbophobia has gotten so much worse . im so repressed and lost ans sad, nothinng rly makes sense? I either fall in love w/ anyone who flirts with me or i focus on someone who ill never fucking talk to or see again and imagine countless scenarios n set myself up to b sad. i seek validation from ppl on it but nothhing comes out right or i just cant say it, because other than when i make myself the butt of gay jokes i just cant sven get the words out of my throat that im gay cuz im jst so ashamed and disgusted with myself. ive been looking at pictures of guys lately cuz ive been trying to force myself to like them. back when i thought i was pan it always felt safer bc i could always just love a cis guy or whatever and everything would b okay for my family ykno. and its such a shameful thing for me bc my irl friends who im out to, most see me as v confident abt it at least a little bc im loud abt it u kno, and make all sorts of jokes, and i jst know so many would b surprised or like sad abt that

i want to stop liking girls so much. like holy shit. i have so many straight girl friends and i hate it when they flirt with me because lik, none r my type so i feel nothing but then i feel like i shiuld then feel like No i shouldnt then feel like i shouldnt even be around them bc im a gross disgusting creepo dyke predator. n they always use the excuse of me having a gf so its fine id never hit on them well like, now im single so i have to be DOUBLE careful not to b affectionate w them as im w all my friends and itsssssssssssssmjshfjhdjfhsjdhjshdjshdjhsjdhsjhdjshdk

and i like, think abt this girl alot n yea its romantic even thomwe never fucking talked n rlly i do that w lots of girls and its making me lose out on friendships bc i wanna b their friends somehow bc i think theyre very cool n stuff but i cant stop hodling on to stupid daydreams n idealizations i get to distract me when im sad n its jst stupid like i know its dumb but guess whos boutta keeeeeeppppp doin it??!!!!! boy!!!

and i try so damn hard to talk feeling out, n talk abt who im attracted to n stuff w ppl, n i try so hard to gush but i cant cuz smth comes outta my mouth and then i cant speak past that and no one ends up rlly knowing how i feel, bc ANY time i talk abt anytingngay related abt me its what happens. and i listen to others talking abt tht stuff and i jsut get so god damn JEALOUS bc idk how to express myself 

all these inadequacies n shit is making it rlly hard to see how,im gonna b on my own n its always been like this. at TWELVE YEARS OLD i came to fhe fucking conclusion that i was just gonna kill myself when i turned 18 so i didnt have to deal with all this and i was OKAY WITH IT and i just went through life knowing that and hiding it and so rarely questioning my inevitable suicide as a childc so instead of dealing with all that n my problems n getting better i let myself get worse cuz uh, fuck it right

idk its all just occured to me how im not a fully functioning human being, in seberal if not all aspects of my life, its weird. now that I actively want to live and realize i uh Kinda have to simce ill b the legal guardian of my brother its all very scary

sorr i was all over the place and all the typos i didnt mean anyof them n im not crytyping like, i cried a bit but i jst hate typing kn thsi shitty tablet keyboard, n dont wanna spellcheck. if u read through comgratulations also please dont message me abt like the self harm junk n my dog n stuff like, whatever ur abt to say. I Know my guy 

time to go uhhhhhhhhhhh daydream about impossible gay shit with guilt in the back of my mind

[ellynxcos]

ANSWER ALL THE QUESTIONS FOR THE ASK MEME. ALL OF THEM. Or just 90-100, you know, whichever you prefer ;P

SCREECHES SUMMER WYD 

but nah that’s fine like I said I am b o r e d

1: is there a boy/girl in your life?

Yes cries a lovely wonderful girl let me die

2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

UH lol idk it depends on the day? Some days I feel really petty about it and other days I don’t care so much.

3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

my mind says ‘cats’ but my twitter feed says ‘nyah’ and i cry. that and :3c which like. is all Fox so i blame you

4: what’s something you really want right now?

5: are you afraid of falling in love?

 LOL NAH FAM

6: do you like the beach?

yes!! I love the beach, specifically east coast beaches because the water is actually warm enough to swim in 

7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

no but i wouldn’t mind it if it were a significant other. like idk why but i’ve thought about it before, and i don’t mind being that close to ppl i’m dating

8: what’s the background on your cell?

A really generic apple-provided bg because I have too many apps to see the bg anyway rip

9: name the last four beds you were sat on?

this question confuses me. straight up. idk what its asking name the beds????

10: do you like your phone?

yes

11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?

no, but not in a bad way i guess

12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

UH okay I so rarely add numbers to my phone Idk how to answer this lol. Probably someone from work tho. OR NO MY FRIEND SARAH PROBABLY

13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?

Rottweiler 

14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

Emotional. 

15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

The zoo! I love animals, fam

16: are you tired?

ALJSDLKJSDF FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE??? NO, NO I AM NOT TIRED

17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?

i mean my first was probably my mom so

18: are they a relative?

my mOM

19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

lol no never the fuck

20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

lmao years. but i. need to chANGE THAT I AM NEEDY AND SAD

21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

yeah, sure

22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

no the last person i kissed was a dude

23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

one bracelet and one hair tie

24: is there a certain quote you live by?

not really

25: what’s on your mind?

mostly my gf

26: do you have any tattoos?

just one, i want more

27: what is your favorite color?

oh god don’t ask me this. i like dark shades of almost every color? the only colors I really don’t like are orange and yellow. idk yellow is okay sometimes. i don’t like pastels much

28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

RIP IDK MAN BUT I HOPE SOON???? I JUST. RLLY WANT TO KISS HER

29: who are you texting?

usually my mom, roommate, and gf

30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

no

31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

yeah, i’m sure everyone’s been there a time or two

32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

yes

33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?

i sURE HOPE SO jk jk i know someone does

34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

yeah

35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

....okay???? idc???

36: were you single on valentines day?

nope!

37: are you friends with the last person you kissed?

no

38: what do your friends call you?

Ellie

39: has anyone upset you in the last week?

lmao ya

40: have you ever cried over a text?

lmao ya fam i cry over everything

41: where’s your last bruise located?

shIN. it happened last night OTL

42: what is it from?

so one of my roommate left a cookie sheet on the fuckin stove top (IT’S BEEN THERE FOR FUCKIN D A Y S) and i was trying to get FOOD off the stove and my elbow knocked it and it tumbled to the floor and hit me right in the fuckin shin iM STILL MAD ABOUT IT

43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

lmao probably yesterday lbr

44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?

my mom

45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

not really, i used to tho

46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

lmao no if i’m having a bad hair day y’all are the ones who gotta see it, not me

47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?

no i get too cold with a full head of hair for that shit

48: do you make supper for your family?

no i hate cooking fuckin gOD

49: does your bedroom have a door?

i won’t live in a room that doesn’t have a door

50: top 3 web-pages?

tumblr, twitter, and probably ebay/amazon. or twitch lately

51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?

ya

52: does anything on your body hurt?

my fucKIN SHIN

53: are goodbyes hard for you?

yes

54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

hell if i know

55: how is your hair?

a wreck. it desperately needs to be re-dyed

56: what do you usually do first in the morning?

lay in bed lol

57: do you think two people can last forever?

yes of course

58: think back to january 2007, were you single?

lMAO NO I DON’T GOTTA THINK VERY HARD

59: green or purple grapes?

GREEN

60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?

i don’t know and i hate that i don’t know. i know my family in May but like. hopefully sooner than that 

61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

ye

62: when will be the next time you text someone?

probably like 5 minutes

63: where will you be 5 hours from now?

asleep, hopefully

64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.

woRKIN 

65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked?

this time last year i liked the same person i like now ;))))

66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

YE!!! aaaaaaaaa

67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?

no i wISH

68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

‘gee i sure hope this anti depressant doesn’t fuck me up’ along with ‘why are my roommates so loud’

69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

lol ya who hasn’t

70: how many windows are open on your computer?

TOO MANY DON’T ASK ME THIS

71: how many fingers do you have?

10 (fun fact i almost typoed this for 19)

72: what is your ringtone?

my volume is never on i don’t even remember LMAO

73: how old will you be in 5 months?

25, but turning 26 later that month

74: where is your mum right now?

home in Oregon

75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

reasons i’m not willing to air on Tumblr lol

76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

no unfortunately 

77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

ye!!

78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

uh yeah lol how unfortunate

79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?

yes

80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

ye!!! i miss it

81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?

ONE, YO

82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

no

83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?

PROBS

84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

no one b/c i don’t do that shit b/c I’M NOT A HEATHEN

85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care?

i mean, it depends on the drug. if it was just pot i wouldn’t have a problem w/ it as long as it didn’t rule her life. harder stuff is a no

86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

nothing really. i didn’t love the movie and i was bored

87: who was your last received call from?

my mom

88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

uh no i don’t think so just reading that made me cringe

89: what is something you wish you had more of?

time and money

90: have you ever trusted someone too much?

yeeeep

91: do you sleep with your window open?

sometimes when it gets hot 

92: do you get along with girls?

lol yes??

93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

ehhhhh she doesn’t need to know

94: does sex mean love?

nah

95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

no it’d just be awkward as hell lol

96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

nope

97: did you sleep alone this week?

sigh yes sadly

98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

yes i DO!!!

99: do you believe in love at first sight?

not really i guess, but like the second i saw this girl i knew she was special

100: who was the last person that you pinky promise?

i don’t remember lmao