#other than that i got nothing i want
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hmmmm im going to have to spend some money on the new clip studio versions. not because i want any of the new features (i like the blending less tbh) but because the old version is gonna stop being supported at one point and i don’t want to have to pay Even More to get it if my computer breaks
#i use ex bc i do animations i never post + the page manager has been a godsend for working on gestalt so it’s either $70 now or $140 later#so that will be where some of my birthday money goes#some more will be going to a roller skate bag which i said already#other than that i got nothing i want#my girl got me my gouache a month ago. i got myself the nugs i’ve always wanted. i’m honestly so set#mugs not nugs#WAIT!!!!! wha books. i have up to book 8. i could get the new ones. there we go
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Dev this is serious stop beatboxing.
#fop nature au#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#dev dimmadome#fop dev#dale dimmadome#emetophobia#art#digital art#fanart#comic#Sorry for taking so long on this I was procrastinating bcs its just kinda a context page that needs to exist for other stuff to happen#I love it when they interact like disgruntled roommates#like on one had he SHOT HIM on the other hand whats Dev supposed to do? Go no contact?? Hes ten#This takes place like 2 days after the deer attack#Dale got whisked away to fairy world to get speed healed and had his memory wiped of the whole thing#Devs relationship with his dad is so messy cause like yes his dad hurt him but also thats his dad and he loves him.#even if his dad doesnt love him back#He wants to Want To Hurt his dad. thats the right way to feel about after what he did. and he does feel that way sometimes.#but on some level its was kind of a relief to hear that he couldnt wish harm on people#because even if he could he isnt sure he could go through with it#and there would be nothing worse than having the power to do something and yet. not#sorry if that sounds insane#complicated relationships with your abuser my beloved#also just the quiet acceptance Dev has for (what he thinks is) Peri straight up lying to his face#Dev likes Peri a lot but he is also deeply aware that Peri hides a lot of things from him#I think he appreciates that Peri tries to shield his feelings. His dad doesnt do that#ofc Peri isnt actually lying here I just think the layers of such a small interaction are hilarious
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not enough discussion about the gavins' complicated relationship with feminine-coded/beauty products, i don't think.
#for klavier because it's not as direct it's about how we never see him actually wearing lipstick? even though apollo literally attends#a concert of his which is where you'd most expect him to wear makeup. but apparently he just doesnt. or at least not in public#klavier gavin#kristoph gavin#i feel like there are several ways you can read into it. the misogyny/toxic masculinity one is really obvious clearly with kristoph's#singling out of men specifically and klavier's (probably accidental?) condescending manner of calling women 'fraulein' plus his general#mildly patronising attitude towards many of the women in the game (also probably unintentional)#(i think he's trying to be charming and it's coming off wrong to some of them. like ema. and me.)#but i feel like there's also maybe an element of... inherent perfecfionism to it? like both of these products are conventionally beautifyin#products and kristoph while he is open to showing people he uses nail polish specifically chooses one that's clear and missable unless you#see him apply it. he also feels the need to justify his use of it and specifically spell it out as something he chooses to do rather than#needs to do even though duh. that should be obvious.#idk there's just something about his seeming need to take control of that narrative that i find interesting. his need to spin it into a#'there's nothing wrong with my nails but I had the foresight to see that even the smallest parts of my appearance should be kept immaculate#and it's a choice i'm making to refine an already adequate part of my personage /not/ to cover some unsightly defect.' the need to emphasis#that specifically is so. hm. and with klavier i could see it being a case of him liking makeup liking the pops of colour yet being unwillin#to admit to it because he's afraid that other people might see it as him being dissatisfied with his own appearance regardless of if he is#or isn't. or even just perceiving colourful makeup as being unseemly because it's so overt and unnatural.#like i can see this as them both viewing 'real' beauty to be that which is inherent to a person and seemingly effortless#thus somehow negating the beauty which one achieves through cosmetics or other external means.#and if you want to use external means to achieve beauty or neatness or whatever then your only valid options are those which blend into you#natural state. like clear nail polish. or really awful spray tan.#i feel like klavier's less confined by these ideas (if they hold merit at all) considering he actually owns coloured lipstick and he wears#jewellery (admittedly quite 'masculine' jewellery no gems or pearls or anything like that but jewellery nonetheless) but i think it just#makes it more interesting that he doesnt seem quite able to cross the line anyway. like it's that ingrained into his system.#anyway that's all i've got. you guys should tell me what you think too#annotations
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The absolute biggest thing I've learned as a trans guy: there is nothing more masculine and manly than not caring about looking or acting masculine or manly. Growing your masculinity or manhood takes time and care - you have no obligation to let the world water your garden when you can do that just fine (and you can, even if it doesn't feel like you can!)
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#nonbinary#trans advice#got a stereotypically 'feminine/woman' piercing and. i feel like a man *inverted shania twain riff from man! i feel like a woman*#nothing affirms my manhood more than not caring about the genuinely toxic imaginings that the world has about manhood and men like me 👍#yes it can be a struggle ESPECIALLY if you're somebody who actively has to defend your masculinity/manhood...#...it's hard for me too sometimes. i had to not only build my manhood but jealously defend it from the 'phobes...#...but i am all the better for it because this is MINE. i have never truly owned something in this way...#...i don't own other people nor my cats nor even my material possessions - not in the way i own my manhood...#...i own it like a tiger owns his territory and i defend it similarly...#...i do not WANT to own my loved ones or possessions the same as i own my manhood and masculinity. this is special to me#my manhood was *made* for me to be owned anyway. i feel that applies to every trans person who hasn't felt able to own themselves#this is in the same vein as learning to cast aside the cissexist views of bodies&experiences that can make dysphoria worae
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okay, but, like, THAT'S how you do a villain story. in the FIRST scene, you watch him shoot a man in cold blood. the show tells you right away "this man is not a good man".
but then it gets you to sympathize - look at how much the world has stepped on him. look at how terrible the whole of gotham is. and even when he kills more people, does more terrible things, you still root for him. because it's fun to watch someone be terrible to terrible people. you root for sofia too, because if anyone deserves revenge its her, but you're rooting for both of them somehow.
and then the show tells you "when he was a boy he killed his brothers". but even still, you want to see what he'll do. the show is called the penguin, you want to see the penguin rise. when he lets his mother's finger almost get cut off, you pity him. he's a sad, broken thing. how could he be anything but bad? but he loves, so there must be something else there.
but then. but THEN
the show always told you: "this is the devil". but you thought, maybe the devil can make hell a little more bearable for some people. the devil is so often nuanced, sympathetic, complex. maybe he's like that.
you're wrong. there's nothing good within him and YOU rooted for him to succeed. you wanted to watch the destruction. and now you have to live with the consequences of thinking, even for a second, that he could be redeemed.
#lauren feels things#penguin spoilers#the penguin#the penguin spoilers#network execs are always talking about how they want something#'surprising but inevitable'#which is NOTHING that's a nothing phrase#eXCEPT THIS WAS EXACTLY THAT#don't even get me started on everything else#the performances the COSTUMES!!!#the story they told with sofia's costumes!!!!!!!!!!!!!#but god#the thing that got me so good#was seeing the scratches on oz's hands as he strangled vic#just like carmine and sofia's mom#i hope sofia murders oz so bad#oh and DEF don't get me started on the POWER DYNAMICS#the conversation the show was having about power#and being a woman and being a man and being rich and being poor and being white and being disabled#and how the systems of power and oppression are not at all neat#oz is a white man born poor with a disability#but he ultimately has more privilege than sofia#sofia was born on third base and inherited her kingdom but is still a woman they called crazy#who went down for a man's crime#oz is STILL right when he calls her out for her relative privilege#they both have more power over the other depending on circumstance#and then VIC#poor non-white disabled#he gets crushed under everyone#and yet has the power of LABOR ORGANIZING!!!!!!!!!!!!
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‘the black bastard of the wall’ moniker is the exact opposite of the ‘white wolf’ moniker and this perfectly highlights the irreconcilable differences between book Jon and show Jon
#‘white wolf’ highlights his stark heritage parallels him to robb and tries to align him with perfect moral goodness#‘the black bastard of the wall’ is only about jon. it has nothing to do with his stark heritage nor ghost. it’s only about jon#it’s literally white vs black#stark/winterfell/moral goodness vs bastard (targaryen bastard to be specific)/the wall/moral greyness and the duality of it all#he’s already a snow and he’s surrounded by white up north with a white direwolf so being the black bastard and dressing all in black#is perfect imagery of the duality theme in jon’s storyline#d&d rly wanted their jon to always stand in robb’s shadow 🙄#while book jon has an international reputation while still stuck at the wall#my boy is stuck in westerosi alaska and he’s got ppl across the sea yapping about him for pastime#that’s fame baby#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#GOT critical#jon snow#book jon snow#and i wanna know what other monikers george plans to give jon#while i wouldn’t be that suprised if the ‘white wolf’ did come from george it’s the way it’s jon’s only moniker in GOT that pisses me off#‘the black bastard of the wall’ supremacy#the white wolf seems kinda lame in comparison but say jon gets it if his hair turns white like some theorize#if that happens then i’ll like it more cause it’ll be about jon!#like… the young wolf is about robb. not grey wind. the starks are compared to wolves and robb is a young king and he just so happens to have#a direwolf. in the show jon’s ‘white wolf’ moniker is honestly more about ghost than jon! and that’s ughhh#but robb had the wolf moniker first so it feels once again like the showrunners were placing jon in robb’s shadow#UGHHH I HATE THE SHOW AND HOW IT RUINED THE WAY SO MANY PPL VIEW THE CHARACTERS#let jon be the black bastard !!#his color was always black and the wall is his !!#put some respect on his name and his badass moniker#i don’t want to see anymore shit about the white wolf cause that’s only d&d’s shit invention at this point#valyrianscrolls
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My villain origin story
#ugh. it was probably the bait#i was a fool for thinking an heirloom vegetable would lure in anyone but the chef#if i wanted those bottoms to bite#nothing short of an actual throbbing dick would have sufficed#even if edmond got so absolutely flabbergasted at the sight of it and skewered it#would i not then be able to pull him in via his sword? stuck in the dick bait that traps swords like quicksand?#looks like i didn't do enough research. the bottoms eluded me#but not for long... *adjusts my spectacles*#i don't make the same bait mistakes... *mumbles while calculating* more than three times . probably#to be fair when i first started playing i didn't know that the characters i was aiming for were all bottoms#but. that's just how it ended up. and apparently nuca had other plans for me#where the FRINCK is that meme with the clothing store where it says 'buy a bottom Get a top'#anyway! this is a nice precursor to the massive lecture i'm about to drop#nu carnival garu#nu carnival olivine#nu carnival edmond#nu carnival yakumo
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sketches
#spent the day doing fuck all bc i wanted to draw but i felt like i should have been doing something other than drawing#so naturally nothing got accomplished bc i was just thinking about how badly i wanted to be drawing#mark hoffman#saw#saw fanart#drawing
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As an attempt at a polite "going forward" comment...
I do not plan to draw for Three Houses or Hopes for a long while. I know a lot of my followers are from the past four years and I appreciate that you followed me at all! But if you are only interested in the art of those characters I wanted to be clear and say you can unfollow me at any point if what i draw no longer aligns with what you want to see.
I might draw for other FEs (like Heroes or 13/14/17) but I do not want to get involved with 3H any more. I do have other interests and across tumblr, twitter (now inactive), and sometimes on discord I've heard enough "I thought it was (FE3H character)".
This is not one person doing it and it is not simply one character being mistaken. I simply want to distance myself from 3H and have unfollowed a few people that reblog art of it because it just leaves a lingering bad taste in my mouth.
Thank you very much for your time and I hope you can find artists who can provide art for topics you like.
#moe talks a lot#not art#again this is NOT the fault of one person its been accumulating for a loooong time#its not even other franchises entirely being labeled as 3h oopsies!#i think one of the most frustrating was a twitter exp where i drew felicia and flora from fates and someone said thought it was marihilda#its just very demotivating and makes me feel like im nothing but a machine for the 3h fans and i want to move past that#i would far prefer no comments or tags than the constant barrage of mistaking a character when i draw for anything else#i know (or rather hope) people who do this are not doing it to be mean! but ! it hurts to put time into something to have it devalued#im sorry to those that really liked my 3h art but i am extremely burnt out on some comments and being asked to justify my doodles#i just want to draw stupid things and it got to the point i had to explain my stupid things#which defeated the stress relief of it being stupid#half of the asks i never replied to were like this so again it is NOT just one person doing this ! its just finally added up#to me needing to be open and clear#i tried to be concise in the main post but it still looks really wordy#opened the ask box again temporarily but not open to anons so we will see how this goes
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hong kong miku,,,
#hopping on the trend jumpscare i’m from hong kong surprise#i haven’t seen that many hk mikus around#lowkey chat i think i kinda ate with this one#however i will say i am coloring in the dark so if any colors look off that’s why#and also i haven’t opened this program in literal months i jumped straight into this no warmup no nothing#miku is what pulls me out of art block apparently i was locked in for 5 hours STRAIGHT#someone needs to teach me how to paint properly holy#not sure how i feel about the bottom left one but that was a quick one anyways#i am from hk originally but i haven’t been back in years so i have no idea about the culture other than food and mirror#OKAY let me explain the context#street food is a big thing in hk and quick and easy things like fish balls egg waffles and like siu mai and wonton noodles are popular#back then people really would just squat down on the side of the road or right in front of the shop to eat it and go#but i don’t think anyone does that anymore city life and all that#ohh i should have done instant noodles breakfasts god i loved those#if anyones from hk if you go to the causeway bay mtr station exit that leads up to the big road near sogo. do they still sell siu mai there#that shit was BANGER i remember asking for them all the time#a good majority of parents in hk would get their daughters ears pierced as a baby something about them not feeling as much pain idk#that’s just what i was told#i used the neon for her friendly standard greeting cause i wanted to incorporate the neon signs somehow without actually drawing a whole bg#lots of neon signs in hk. i heard they had to take them down cause of light pollution which is sad but understandable#everyone got their shoes from dr kong. at least when i was younger they did#boy band is self explanatory. i heard they’re really popular my mom listens to them#oh i had her messing with her shoes cause hk people move FAST. you stop for one second and you get shoved#so like a fun little allusion#gave her black roots just for fun. she is violating every school uniform code possible#this is all based off of my memory by the way so like. anyone who knows this better than i do hit me up#hatsune miku#miku from my culture#jellos scribbles#i haven’t tag yapped in so long welcome back my love i missed you
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not to beat a dead horse but there's something kind of illuminating and warmie yet sad about the fact that Taylor's parents are attending Travis' game with her and regularly. I know the "you never saw--" joke is old, but the idea that [redacted]'s family did actually occasionally attend events with Taylor (including at what it seems may have been a difficult time), but after a certain point she herself didn't/couldn't attend his in turn, never mind her family, and it's just a testament to how different things are now, how different her life is, and frankly how integrated their family life has become. Idk I'm just really happy for popstar bestie because I feel like this is probably everything she ever wanted and didn't know she could have at one point.
#i should probably delete this lol#like-- he just wanted nothing to do with her in public#I know we've said it a million ways and it's more nuanced than that#and we know how hurtful that was *for her*#(again even though it was more nuanced than that on the page)#but I keep thinking of her parents in situations like this because they had to watch it happen#and now they've got a regular spot at their son in law's event and they're embraced in the fold idk#(shut up I'm using the term in a general sense miss me with the legalities bla bla bla)#(I'm sorry but that's what they all are to each other for all intents and purposes now)#like it goes both ways: it shows how serious she and [redacted] were and how much his family considered her one of their own#but by the same token how difficult it must have been for her to keep herself (and her family) so separate from anything having to do#with him in the name of propriety or rules or whatever the fuck else#like the breakup is obviously the two people involved but it's also breaking up an entire support system idk
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bitches really be out here publicly divorcing as if they weren’t in a secret relationship
#i love how lenore stomped over ready to throw divorce papers and also hands#and annabel just kept getting more and more into it liKE GIRL PLEASE!!! UR ASS IS GETTING BEAT BUT NOT IN THE WAY U WANT IT LIKE GIRRLL#girl please read the room and understand that Lenore is about to rip full custody of Morella away from u#ANNABEL LEE STOP GETTING TURNED ON MID DOVORCE CHALLENGE: IMPOSSIBLE‼️‼️‼️#all of the passerby and spectators stopping n staring at these two like#‘?????? did we- did we miss some LORE™️ or smth????’#oh to be part of that crowd who got to witness the full blown break up#in my peripheral I see some disgruntled hands exchanging money#apparently half of the academy had a bet wherher or not these two disasters were secretly fucking around together or not#some swore by their second death that white raven was DEFO doing some shit together#while others believed em to just be old fashioned enemies who are complete douches to each other nothing more nothing less#the ppl who betted them to be nothing more than fierce as fuck enemies/rivals. well. well i mean you TRIED ig. i mean u tried WRONG but hey#at least you still tried#nevermore webtoon#nevermore neverwhore#white raven#lenore vandernacht#annabel lee whitlock
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to pass as. to qualify as. to be as. to love as a human being
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#nothing there#eye strain#just in case. sorry...#i remember the first time i messed up and my agent (jake) got a bad work result. it was on day 46 the mem rep time i went back on day 47#bc i wasnt happy with the death count. since i went in to the mechanics blind. i the other works were fine and in theory the stats wouldve#been able to be fine. but then jake got a bad work result and i stood stunned for a bit just listening. i kept sayimg to myself it would be#fine and to just keep working on nothing there. but i felt too guilty and reset...#for the piece itself i wanted to be harder to look at. a lot to process and sort out but also the clash of colors as well#the draw of the eye at least for me when testing it was towards the chest than the face. inability to look at the face as a concept#that and stare at what isnt quite human. reminds me of the instant panic mechanic...#would this count for the agent tag?.. uhm.. sure . i think.#lobotomy corp agent#theyre not quite an original character. maybe ill write for them actually later but theyre just an agent for now#thank you for your service jake.....
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don't have the spare brain cells to actually write for Kinktober this year, but I am a fan of brainstorming elaborate kink scenarios for niche ships, and thus here is my informal offering of
11 Dragon Age F/F Kinktober Rarepair/Crackship Concepts
*not smut writing - just a listing of kinks matched with a ship and a basic scenario
Drugs/high sex, armpit kink - Briala/Celene. Coming in hot with a concept which spake itself to me once the factoid that Celene is apparently a fan of the wyvern drug mentioned in that DA2 DLC entered my psyche and promptly combined with the scene from Portrait Of A Lady On Fire in which that pair of blonde-brunette French lesbians sensually rub drugs into each other's armpits, which rules. Blah blah freedom, flying, seizing liberation where they could find it in this narrow world, impending heterosexual marriage, lesbo-eroticism, etc. Celene is the one more into the armpit part (obviously?), perhaps this is the first time she dares to breach it, and Briala is happily along for the ride. A fun romp as they do deserve a break from the drama and angst sometimes.
All manner of titty play/worship, against a wall/standing, size difference - Neve/Harding. IDGAF what the companion romances turn out to be, their tension is simmering based on the early clips and Harding just so happens to be boob height to Neve. They may never agree on anything except that beating people up is cool, but they can find some common ground when frustration comes to a head and Harding detects Neve's lack of bra and Neve scouts out whether Harding is strong enough to hold her up (she is). If this occurs early enough in Veilguard, then I think Harding would be the bruised-up one, so Neve could look down tenderly and caress her bruised cheek in a moment of sincere connection that she would then reject because she's not open to vulnerability yet and makes it weird (this is also kink).
First time, instruction/talking through it - Bethany/Merrill. Bethany's curiosity about sex with women is frankly cute and hot and I think Merrill would be both an extremely funny and extremely sweet person to share a first time with. Perhaps they're both left out of the Deep Roads expedition and, resenting that the others treat them like kid sisters, they hang out and one thing leads to another. This would also be part of my Merrill Fucks A Relatively Average Amount But Just Doesn't Know Human Social Norms/Slang agenda. Also Merrill's accent is hot and should be recognized for this.
Mutual masturbation, comfort sex - Josephine/Minaeve. This ship lives in my head rent-free for no other reason that Haven is so cold and that little office they shared is so warm, eventually, when they let each other in a little bit. However they don't get very far before the attack on Haven. Rattled, they find each other in Skyhold and find that warmth and comfort in each other again, even if neither of them feels quite ready to touch/be touched by the other. Romantic!
Furs, lingerie/stockings, hand/finger kink - Svarah Sun-Hair/Celene. What if those Avvar furs ARE the shit and Orlesians DO want them? And perhaps there's a demonstration in order? This encounter would in the Frostbacks for a flimsy reason because it would be too cold for Celene's anemic bones. Thus Svarah has no choice but to drape her in sexy furs and perhaps take a tour of her delicates while she's at it (they are beautiful but foolhardy), and her tough calluses would honestly put so many runs in Celene's dainty stockings, but she probably wouldn't mind too much because she's very into hands and Svarah's are so big and strong.
Rough sex, hair-pulling - Briala/Athenril. The main kink here is actually Briala trying to rebound after dumping Celene and finding out what it's like to fuck with someone who's not delusionally obsessed with her. But also I think she deserves the opportunity to get just totally railed by someone who'd be willing to at least slap her ass in public. Hair-pulling is important specifically because Celene loved tenderly stroking her hair. It would be a mixed bag of a semi-transactional situationship with a scumbag kind of like fucking your dealer (this too is kink) but at any rate, she's getting some quality D AND low-cost fenced supplies for her alienage relief project, so it's a win for Briala overall.
Restraints, seduction, flip-flopping power dynamics - Isabela/Cassandra. So what if Seeker Pentaghast caught up with another/different friend of Hawke, who is less cooperative than Varric and thus needed to be cuffed, but that wouldn't stop her from turning that situation around. Isabela won't betray Hawke this time by yapping, but she can deploy her mouth in other ways to distract the Seeker. This is certainly not what Cassandra had in mind, but it's perhaps too appealing of a flimsy porn scenario like in her books for her to resist too much.
Anal play/butt plug, accidental stimulation - Celene/Morrigan. Allegedly butt plugs were touted as a treatment for anxiety/depression in days of yore, and Celene loves woo-woo nonsense, and the civil war/getting dumped is hard on her, and Morrigan probably has an entire grimoire about the magical-medicinal applications of butt stuff. The narrative of this would be that it starts played completely straight (it's not sexual, it's medical care obviously) but it gradually becomes undeniably erotic but neither of them are willing to acknowledge it because Morrigan thinks she's straight and Celene is clinging to a shred of dignity despite the crystal plug in her ass. They leave this encounter feeling weird and unsatisfied, which imo is essential for at least 1 entry in any kinktober collection.
Spanking, "good girl", praise kink - Leliana/Josephine. Leliana NEEDS to be some woman's goodest girl in the world, and in the Inquisition, there's nobody she could trust but her good friend Josie to help fulfill this need. An encounter of vulnerability for them both as this also isn't Josie's comfort zone, but something to learn and explore together. Actually pretty romantic imo.
Period sex - Merrill/Aveline. Take the most and least squeamish women on Hawke's team, shake em up, add in some vague justification like Merrill trying to help Aveline with cramps in accordance with Dalish conventional wisdom (but also Merrill has always wanted to climb that and takes the opportunity).
Sex pollen, grinding/dry humping, not quite hatesex (resentsex?) - Neve/Rana Savas. Back on this ship agenda, the most important question for any ship defined by unresolved sexual tension is, under what circumstance could they have fucked before but STILL have unresolved sexual tension? The answer is obviously that Neve led Rana into some bullshit and they got sex pollen'd. "Fine, but I'm gonna complain about it the whole time" type of encounter where they're so done with each other but they gotta grind it out regardless because the pollen demands body contact even if they keep it above clothes because it's business, not pleasure. But then a hint of caught feelings seeps in after because it's hard to sustain high resentment for a sexy woman once you've smelled her post-sex pheromones and maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if they'd actually touched each other after all. Maybe they scratched that immediate itch but now they're under each other's skin for real... but that's a problem for later.
#I wanted an even 12 but I couldn't think of anything and got bored of this so I'll add more if I think of something else#not tagging shit so read at ur own risk but imo nothing extreme in here (typical or tamer than any other kinktober listing)#also don't want to really tag ships/characters but we got#briala and celene (ofc)#neve and harding (also ofc)#merrill and bethany#josephine and minaeve#svarah and celene#briala and athenril#celene and morrigan#isabela and cassandra#leliana and josephine#merrill and aveline#neve and rana#technically this is fanfic#nsft
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i do have words and a story to tell,
it's just really fucking hard sometimes when
these are all pieces of me i feel like i should keep to myself.
#today it's mourning all the wips that will never make it out there bc insecure writer hours never ended#but in all honesty#to the too scared to share my works with the world writers#to the this much isnt good enough writers#to the will i ever improve and will it ever become something i can be proud of writers#the only doing this for the validation and the i want someone to love this as much as i do writers#to the ones too scared of pouring out their hearts only to be met with no response#and the ones who envy how easy it seems for others#the ones who wake up at 2 am with a thought and write until the break of dawn#the ones who dream more than do#and the ones that do more than dream#to not being able to look back bc you feel like you have nothing to be proud of#or getting bored of your own stuff and thinking who would ever read this#to every writer really#you're all doing so well#and you got this#be patient w yourselves#you're allowed to put things to rest#you're allowed to start a new project#you're allowed to do whatever you want to if it makes you happier#everything is within your hands
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Felix + focus
(this is actually written by @keepswingin, who gained access to my blog for five minutes and decided she wanted my prompts list)
---
It's bad luck, and you know it's bad luck, but you can't stop yourself from sneaking across the hall as soon as nobody is looking. You close the door as quietly as possible behind you and turn around, fully prepared to tease your husband to be, only to find him standing before the mirror, shakily adjusting his tie.
Felix is muttering to himself as he struggles with keeping his hands steady, smoothing them down the sides of his pants, once, twice, three times, and then he catches your eye in the mirror, and he freezes, and something about it reminds you of a deer caught between bright headlights.
"Sorry," you giggle, approaching him with your heart thumping wildly in your chest because this is actually happening, and he's going to be what you wake up next to every morning, and those hands will help you cook dinner and those eyes will look at you and call you beautiful and - and you're getting carried away. "I couldn't wait."
You reach out for his hand as soon as you're close enough, twining your fingers together. You can still feel him shake despite it, and the small smile he gives you is wobbly at the corners, and his eyes are crinkled in that anxious way that he claims he doesn't do, and you tug him closer, reaching your other hand up to curl around his cheek.
"Hey," you whisper, his eyes catching yours. "You're okay. Everything's okay. Focus. Focus on me." You press your forehead against his and hear his chest stutter with a long exhale. "I'm right here."
"I'm sorry," he says as soon as he's able to, blinking fast. Leave it to him to apologize over things that don't require one. "I was just - my mom left to go find something, and I was standing here alone and I just got to thinking and then I - " Another breath, this one calmer than the last. "I just don't want to mess anything up. On our day."
"You could never ruin our day," you tell him, and then your smile grows because you can't help yourself and he knows how you are. "Even if you did, I'd still treasure it all the same."
It does work in dragging a laugh out of him, genuine and carefree. "You're going to make me worry all over again," he throws back gently, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "You're beautiful, by the way."
"Can you still act surprised when you see me walk out? My mom already threatened me," you ask, and then his lips pull into a smile you'll never forget as he moves closer, lips brushing lightly against your own.
"My mom threated me too," he admits quietly, and then he's kissing you, and you can't help but wonder how any of this could ever be bad luck when it's the luckiest you've ever felt.
#stray kids#roo writes#skz#felix#lee felix#yongbok#lee yongbok#lee felix yongbok#felix imagines#felix drabbles#felix drabble#reader x felix#felix imagine#felix x reader#felix reaction#felix reactions#lee felix imagine#lee felix reactions#lee felix imagines#lee felix x reader#usually i have fun comments to leave but i know nothing about this fic#other than that keeps got into my inbox#said 'oh you only have like 15 prompts in here that's doable'#and then said 'it's so much easier to pick them when you don't have 150' and#wrote mine and not any of her own 150#anyway zom mom this is what i was gonna throw a rock at her about the other day#cause i wanted head above water edited and this is what she was doing instead#completely arbitrary tasks in my inbox#and to the casual readers who don't know us#i stg i can write my own shit this is just
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