#other account is @the-silly-lion-guy

[thejazzsterobsession]

hi guys, intro post

sean, he/him

do not interact:

basic criteria, smoothoperator07, chayteaa

will cause CHAOS and literally say so much silly things abt nia, dromarch, melon, and many many more sillies

i am lionkin and hawkhearted

hyperfixations are: asoue, lion king, beastars, kny, xc2 specifically, warriors and a lot more i can’t remember

i’m cool guys i don’t bite

[andcars]

# 𝗠𝗩𝟯𝟯 ─── GAMER MOMENTS MASTERLIST⠀REQUEST ME⠀TAGLIST⠀PATREON GUIDE⠀AO3

YOU'RE A MINECRAFT STREAMER and get in contact with some new guys. one of them won't stop bullying you. it's kinda silly how he acts like he's being subtle that he's trying to flirt with you.

TAGS. . . # fluff, bullying as flirting, pining max verstappen, 'oblivious' reader, minecraft streamers

FIC STYLE. . . # social media au (instagram chats, tweets)

zsync

ty FSMP for having me. that being said, hopefull i didn't give too much of a bad impression to some of ya'll....

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stellaroit i MISSED A ZSYNC STREAM?!?!?

orrifices RIP it was a funny stream

stellaroit what happened the vod isn't out yet

rudemi played minecraft in a new friend group and just decided to cause chaos towards this other streamer the entire time

angeleles who the hell is this lion33 dude and why did he have to hog all the wheat

divissx CHAT THE FURNACE IS NOT FURNACING!! highlight of the stream

lion33 mate i need u to leave the smp

albonono You're just jealous she got all the diamonds in the main island

lion33 completely unrelated

zsync (i'm not) sorry max

ynpng

chat i am not washed at minecraft

liked by alexalbono, georgerussell and 219 others

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georgerussell Disagree

ynpng like i ASKED

alexalbono Slay

alexalbono Btw why're u off priv do u know that

ynpng yessir

alexalbono Suspicious

alexalbono Are you joining the server soon. Max is annoying me

ynpng stop hogging my comments + maybe idk i'm still bitter abt him killing my cows

lion33

appreciate @ albonono for letting me on his stream. i do have his password now btw

liked by albonono, grussell, zsync and 13,611 others

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zsync WAS THAT WHY ALEX WAS JUST MUTED THE ENTIRE TIME?? IT WAS YOU??

lion33 lol

albonono @ zsync he was enjoying receiving flowers from you too much

lion33 your base? exploded.

shouula i love having a pov of max smiling like an idiot when yn was treating him like alex (aka kindly)

vrikrik real. yn is living the y/n life. what i would do to make him smile like that

albonono If u wanted to flirt do it on your own stream I literally went to piss

lion33 ???

massuech dude this is the weirdest softlaunch ever

zsync @ zsyncc · 28 October i'm never playing this game again

141 replies 881 reposts 1.8k likes

Max V @ lion33 · 28 October — Replying to @ zsyncc ur being dramatic lol my house was griefed i needed somewhere to stay 41 replies 331 likes

mia 🕸 @ webberstrr · 28 October — Replying to @ lion33 just say you wanted to put your beds together in minecraft and leave 2 replies 6 likes

EVE @ eeves1 · 28 October so we agree that max and yn were flirting the entire thing right

14 replies 7 reposts 63 likes

EVE @ eeves1 · 28 October — Replying to @ eeves1 i don't like rpf but it is kinda funny how max was goading yn on like a kindergarten with a crush 3 replies 7 likes

zsync

my beautiful house before it was INVADED BY THE DUTCH (also here's the mirmir bath pics ya'll begged for)

liked by albonono, grussell , lion33 and 7,742 others

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pineeapper KITTYYY

lion33 you could've just said no

zsync would u have taken no as an answer?

lion33 no haha this is what u get for stealing my diamonds

littelorrenst chaotic stream as always

piapastry no one else gonna question the weird domesticity of her and max? no? ok

albonono Why're you reposting the mirmir pics from your "priv" account

zsync because i can

lion33 what? u have a priv?

Yn | You are now private messaging @ ynpng 142 followers · 521 posts

lion33 this isn't private lmao

ynpng no i just took it off priv for a bit

lion33 oh. ok btw like do u wanna film something tgt soon

ynpng yea sure why not

lion33 cool cool yea friday?

ynpng sure

lion33 shared a location

ynpng huh

lion33 where we can meet. alex told me you live near me so

ynpng wait omfg i thought u meant like stream

lion33 oh it's ok if u want it to be just a stream like minecraft or smthn

ynpng no no its okay. i need new vid on my main yt anyways

lion33 u sure? lol it's ok if u dont wanna film irl w me

ynpng stop being such a hard ass maxy. i say yes to filming

lion33 cool. thanks btw i really like ur videos 👍

zsync

causing chaos in the toy store in my new video. thank you @ lion33 for featuring and being my slave for the day

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wiiredxs never thought id get to see max doing an irl vlog willingly

hamiston who messed with the timeline why am i seeing max and yn tgt

vrikrik RIGHT like max flew a plane just to film this video 😭 they live in diff continents

lion33 sighs

albonono Your flirting technique sucks

lion33 shut the fuck up

orrifices am i delusional is this not the equivalent to teasing ur friend over his crush

grussell Yn, I hope you're seeing this

zsync seeing what

grussell Crikey...

Yn | You are now private messaging @ ynpng

georgerussell I don't wanna be the bearer of news... But Max has a crush on you

ynpng that's crazy dawg

georgerussell Okay I need some more reaction than that Me and the guys' GC have been talking about it ever since the first FSMP stream

ynpng whattttttt he's whatttttttt

georgerussell What in the Have you like known this the entire time

ynpng George. The man is a Monaco based streamer. I do not live in Monaco. He told me that Alex said we live near each other. I can kinda tell when people have a crush...

georgerussell And that's just your reaction!? I still expected something!

ynpng ill give u a reaction if he does something more obvious in the next stream

zsync @ zsyncc · 8 November fsmp birthday stream 2nite y'all. wish me bday luck i need netherite

568 replies 7k reposts 12.9k likes

EVE @ eeves1 · 8 November alright are we ever going to talk about how max (and im entirely sure it's max) put netherites in yn's chest like that was so cute...

27 replies 142 reposts 628 likes

♠ | FIO @ butt3fl1es · 8 November WHY DID I ENTER THE STREAM TO MAX MAXPLAINING ABOUT MONACO BOYS NOT BEING FUCKBOYS!?!?

WHAT IS HE YAPPING ABT

16 replies 7 reposts 88 likes

#33 @ quetoii · 8 November someone needs to tell max his cam is still on everyone can see him giggling after yn thanked him for his gift

23 replies 98 reposts 218 likes

dumb blonde moment @ jaccalps · 8 November — Replying to @ quetoii it's his fault anyways like no one streams minecraft w their cam on for maximum laziness

2 replies 6 likes

ynpng 🔒

@ lion33 thanks for the present! and you, I guess. but seriously, you need like better courting skills. my nephew could do way better than you and he's 3yo

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alexalbono I'm sorry, courting!?

ynpng if bullying me counts as courting yeah

georgerussell ... No one won the bet

lion33 this is why you don't start a bet

georgerussell Mate, no one expected you to try and get with her like two weeks when you first met

ynpng ok to clarify, we are not dating. he's funny and he's rich so im letting him try

layladook girl whyre you a red flag 😭

lion33 my fave color has always been red

🗒 𝗣𝗔𝗣𝗘𝗥 𝗧��𝗔𝗜𝗟 . . . ok so i decided to do like my tweets as the text so it was easier for me to make this + less images uploaded. feel free to tell me if it's better or bad from how i used to do it before. anyways this was funny to write. i love minecraft. i love that max loves minecraft. it's just a bunch of tomfoolery around here also, my birthday is actually on the 8th so lil easter egg lmao ˎˊ˗ ᝰ.

──── 📨 @delululeclerc @hiireadstuff @bicchaan @fallingforpvris @rtorresblog @tribbisweetdear @jamie2305 @mv1simp

you support me best on tumblr with reblogs and comments ! ── by andcars ⟡

[candycorncremator]

Unfortunately lower visual quality than I wanted be because Tumblr only allows 10 images so I smushed them into three canvases instead of two post. Anyway beta trolls Headcanon and some thoughts below the cut.

Aradia

Aradia is the design I probably have the most experience drawing of the beta trolls purely because of how many zines I’ve drawn her in the last year. I like thinking of her hair similar to Pinkie Pies’ in g4 of mlp, where it’s very curly bouncy in her alive and godtiered forms but straightens out more when she’s ghosting up the place and in Aradia-bot form. I didn’t realize until a recent zine I had been drawing her horns ways too low for comic accuracy but I am a creature of habit so I keep drawing them like that.

Tavros

I’ve grown to love this kid because of my recent reread but I do not like drawing them. Between the Mohawk and the long, straight horns, I don’t care to draw their most important traits so he unfortunately only gets drawn in these group drawings. As for the one ear being pierced, it’s kinda a reference to cow tags but also I think it just fits them.

Sollux

Sollux a pretty easy character to design. I just have to imagine a greasy nerd kid growing up too fast for him to put on weight, add his troll bits and voila. The snake bites are definitely a hold over from the humanstuck I made for him last year but I think it just kinda add to his whole vibe. The undershirt comes from someone who also sits in a hot-ass room most of my days and will wears a second layer so leaving the room won’t feel like stepping out into a frozen wasteland.

Karkat

Karkat for me has always been short and stout guy. Other than that most of his facial features are taken from me, being someone who also over exaggerates their faces and nearly always is squinting a little.

Nepeta

Between all my designs of Nepeta the only thing that ever changes with any consistency is her hair. Like giving her cleft lip scar because I gave it to my fan-descendent of her and it’s cute.

Kanaya

Like two months ago I saw a post on here saying give that girl a nose (in reference to Kanaya) and it was the single most true HC I have ever seen. I also like completely throw out any references I have of her when I draw her hair because I think she should have 1930’s waves and curls. I typically only have to draw the super simple eyes so the only thing I had to change was giving her actual eyes.

Terezi

Got pretty comic accurate but probably would erase some of the chin to imply she’s fat a little better if I wasn’t doing this more rigid style.

Vriska

Also pretty comic accurate with the exception of the snake bites which is probably because I don’t draw her a lot and I don’t think about her much enough looks wise to have any specific head canons.

Equius

Goodness his hair gave me a struggle, kept on looking like a balding metal head until I added the pushed back stuff. Also returned back to drawing pseudo animal ears by giving him horse ears only angle to better fit a humanoid head.

Gamzee

I hate their make-up but every thing else about drawing them is a dream; goat ears, not straight hair, simple horns, silly little guy. What more could I ask for.

Eridan

And I’m almost done but unfortunately this doofus is next and requires the most detailed bust even in canon. Due to drawing them in this year’s 413 countdown I know how I like styling their hair and fins so I basically just chop the hair up since this is suppose to be during comic hcs and then follow their canon and Pesterquest designs with a few added features and boom. I was drawing everyone with the dark grey lips but I forgot for Eridan so I’ll just say they use concealer on their lips.

Feferi

Yippee! Back to ignoring canon and just giving her the biggest eyes on account of her glasses and cute piercings. I originally based her fins off of lion fish fins but they’re definitely more based off of betta ventral fin now.

[bombshelllblonde]

in honor of my recent disney trip:

rdr2 walt disney world modern au headcanons

(this accidentally got posted to my lesbian sex account so if you saw that…no you didn’t 🤠🥸)

-dutch is mad that the trip got booked in the first place. he is not a large crowd disney guy. he’s a “i need to sit with my back against the wall and plan our escape route” man. he is very angry that weapons are not allowed. it’s too expensive and he’s mad that they used the camp funds to pay for it.

-hosea is the disney dad. backpack full of snacks, sunscreen, cooling rags, the handheld fans that spray water, the batteries to replace the old ones in the handheld fans. you need tylenol? he’s got it. you’re lost and need to find the way to tomorrowland? he’s got the disney magic experience app up and ready for you. he has the itinerary written out perfectly and everyone has a copy. he has all the routes mapped out and he bought one of those “disneys best kept secrets” books. he used dutch’s credit card

-charles only ever wants to be in animal kingdom. he has the best luck with all of the animals; his calm presence always brings out everyone from their hiding spots. he knows all the fun facts about the animals and all the little kids think he works there, so he answers everyone’s questions. some disney parents want to give him a cast member compliment/shout out on the app but he just shrugs and says he doesn’t work there

-arthur is the head counter. he didn’t really want to go because he thought it was silly, but he is the one who is watching out for everyone. he assigned everyone a number in his head and he’s making sure they are all accounted for. when jack gets tired he throws him up onto his shoulders, and always has a cold water bottle available for any of the girls when they get too hot or thirsty

-john is all for the lightening lanes and scouring the app for the best rides. he forgets to add other people until abigail reminds him, but basically he has been booking himself on the big rides like tron, rockin roller coaster, tower of terror, etc. when he mentioned that he got the rides, arthur asked how many people he got them for and john only said he got a lightening lane for himself. abigail took his phone and john wasn’t allowed to use the app anymore

-javier is enamored with the princesses. he sees them all and isn’t creepy about them, but he thinks they’re all beautiful. jack isn’t interested in meeting the princesses at all so javier just sees them from afar and waves. he did walk by jasmine and he spoke spanish to her and made her swoon a little.

-in all the parks they have cooling stations where it’s just a giant machine that blows out cold misty water to cool down children. bill commandeered it. cast members have kicked him out but he manages to sneak back after shift change

-sean has been making sure that he takes jack to meet all the characters. he says he really wanted jack to meet timone from lion king, but in all honestly he and kieran made a bet to see if sean talked enough smack if timone would punch him in the face or not

-trelawny cries every time at the happily ever after fireworks in magic kingdom. he gets so many emotions and feels overwhelming joy at even the small parades (no i’m not projecting my own feelings onto trelawny rn 🙃)

-gaston flirts with ms grimshaw and it actually makes her blush. dutch feels rage and jealously almost immediately

“oh dutch he’s just playing a character!”

“susan, i don’t like the way he is speaking to you!!”

[chloecherrysip]

This is probably starting to get annoying, but here are a few more scattered, silly thoughts about the mario movie. :)

(Did I go see the movie again for the 4th time in theaters last night? YES. Is that an excessive amount of times? YES. Have I spent a ridiculous amount of money at this point? YES. Do I have any regrets? NOT EVEN THE TINIEST BIT, NO.)

Trust me, I would be totally honest if I was starting to get bored, but I'm really, really not??? I had a really tough, busy week and I just wanted to be able to relax and have a good time and it was delightful as always!!! I left feeling so much happier. I'm already thinking about going to see it next week again! No one and nothing can stop me!!!! Other than possibly my bank account, LOL.

Obviously the reunion hug takes the lion's share of the focus, but I just want to express my undying love that Luigi and Mario share MULTIPLE hugs before we even get there, and that's not even counting moments at the beginning and the end where they have an arm around each other in kind of a half-hug! They are wonderfully, unabashedly affectionate and it's the best thing in the world!!!

As much as the family is teasing Mario & Luigi about their commercial, I DO appreciate that after their dad's insensitive comment and Mario leaves the table, all the adults genuinely look a little taken aback and stare at the dad (except the grandpa who is in his own little world lol) as if to say Wow, Not Cool. Like, it seems like saying something like that would even be a step too far for the uncles! I just like that there's subtlety and layers to the family stuff, and no one is portrayed as being 100% a jerk (even if some of them have some jerk-ish qualities like the guy stealing food from poor Luigi XD)

ALSO: in fanworks, I've seen several people allude to the bedroom Mario's shown in as being only his bedroom - I was watching those scenes closely this time just to confirm to myself (because I'm annoying about being as accurate as possible, haha), and it's DEFINITELY both his and Luigi's room! It goes by quick, but you can see another bed with green sheets in the far corner of the room clearly in at least one shot, both in the Brooklyn version and in the Mushroom Kingdom version. For some reason, it just tickles me that it's SUCH a small little inclusion and not really necessary, they could have just left it ambiguous whether they actually share a room or not, but nope, that detail is there if you are looking for it! :)

Y'know, even when Mario is dragging Luigi into a dangerous situation and jumping down through what is essentially a WHIRLPOOL into the sewers, he STILL stands at the bottom and waits/watches to see that Luigi makes it down safely after him before moving forward. OVERALL A SILLY THING TO DO but, as he always does when it comes to Luigi, Mario has those extra moments of care and attention. :)

Peach going on and on about how small Mario is will always just make me smile, I'm sorry XD IT'S TRUE (and I love how he's just like "yeah, yeah, make fun of me if you want" and moves on to the important stuff without actually getting mad, it's clear he's heard it all before)

I JUST LOVE MARIO IN GENERAL. I LOVE HIM IN THIS MOVIE???? I LOVE HIM, ALL HIS LITTLE MOVEMENTS AND MANNERISMS. HE IS JUST THE SWEETEST, BRAVEST LITTLE MAN AND HE DESERVES MORE APPRECIATION

I might make a separate appreciation post but here is a shortlist of little things I love: his little "I don't want to eat this" wiggle-dance when first trying to eat the mushroom, the bashful way he kicks up his feet and holds his hands behind him when he's standing next to Peach in the Flower Fields, the way he just cutely, awkwardly WAVES HELLO at everyone wherever he goes (in Toad Town, through the crowd as they're leaving the castle, even to the Kong Guards), how he's genuinely excited to see Donkey Kong's kart for a split second before DK's "I hate you" comment, how he saves DK in the water with NO hesitation at the risk of his own life because he is just a deeply good person, etc etc etc.

As much as I deeply wish that this movie had an actual scene where Mario gets to talk more about Luigi to his new friends and the dialogue wasn't always operating at Maximum Efficiency, I DO appreciate that there are still those couple of beats where you are explicitly reminded that Mario is doing this, ALL of this, for Luigi's sake and only that. The one that got to me this time is when Peach and him have that sidebar before the DK fight where she's like "this is a REALLY bad idea" and his retort is: "well, do you have another way to save my brother!?" And then you see him go on a little face journey where he's calculating things before agreeing to the fight and proclaiming that yes, he WILL win. BECAUSE HE WILL DO ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING FOR HIS BROTHER AND IF THE ONLY WAY TO REACH HIM IS TO FIGHT AND WIN, EVEN IF NO ONE BELIEVES IN HIS ABILITY TO DO SO, THEN BY GOD, HE'S DOING IT. ANOTHER REASON THAT I LOVE HIM!!

The aesthetic of the shattered Rainbow Road pieces glowing in the ocean around DK and Mario (and then inside the eel) is genuinely very beautiful and I always love the effect of it!

I'M SORRY, I CAN ALSO BE VERY CRITICAL OF THIS MOVIE IF I WANT TO, BUT HOW COULD ANYONE - ANYONE - WATCH MARIO AND LUIGI WREAK ABSOLUTE HAVOC AND DESTROY BOWSER IN PERFECT, EFFORTLESS UNISON WITH THE SUPERSTARS MUSIC PLAYING AND NOT FEEL ABSOLUTE JOY??? That sequence is actually perfect, and the music is even MORE perfect. Every time, I hear it, I feel exhilarated and light as air and like anything is possible! HOW COULD YOU NOT THINK IT'S MAGICAL??? HOW??? [STANDS ON TOP OF A MOUNTAIN AND YELLS] HOW????????

Something that I have never noticed until this last rewatch and caught me genuinely offguard is that when Bowser's in the jar and Mario makes the "told ya I'd get you a turtle!" comment to Peach, if you're paying attention to Bowser, he actually does a "hardy-har-har VERY FUNNY" fake laugh as he's being all pouty, and I laughed outloud at that.

ALSO IN GENERAL, I AM SO PROUD OF THIS VERSION OF THE CHARACTERS AND THEIR WILLINGNESS TO PUT BOWSER IN ACTUAL JAIL!!!! HE DESERVES JAIL!!!! Like, I get that we're all very sweet and forgiving here and he's usually allowed to just slink away in most of the games, but seriously, HE COMMITTED VARIOUS WAR CRIMES FOR INCREDIBLY STUPID REASONS, THANK U FOR PUTTING HIM IN JAIL

The last scene with Luigi and Mario doing their handshake and then Luigi just full-on playfully poking Mario in the belly before running off is the CUTEST thing and also has the most Younger Sibling Energy of basically anything in the movie, lol. He also does it to him in the opening scene! I loveeeee ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[redactedfrog15]

me when i forget i have this account. Whoops! Anyways. I want to post more frequently on here. For now I'm dumping a lot of stuff from my evil notebook. My evil notebook is where i go when i am feeling evil but in the not funny way. I guess sort of like vent art but instead of venting it's just me if I had a hyena skull head. You know how it be. Uhhh. I will put some more in depth stuff under the cut. If there is a cut? (guy who knows how tumblr works)

First two are both lyrics from SCAPEGO∞T by ghost and pals. Was resonating with it as one does. Vague self portraits in there too I guess! Yippee. These ones were like. Beginning of winter. My creature thing still doesn't have a defined form which you will see in part due to how that hyena is in a few of the frames with a animal body. I like to think it can fluctuate <3

Next one isn't really a defined single thing I just really wanted to draw a mountain lion eating a coyote. Shoutout to if this happens in real life I bet it has at least once.

Think I actually meant to crosshatch this baby fully. Unsure what happened here... But oh well! still silly

This is a newer one of the creature! (me) (my weird dog that is me). still hyena skull. As seen in second image I usually like to do this little thing where I have spikes or crystals growing out of my skull. It's because of dark evils of my past. I think final weird dog will have this but at the very least did give it claws that operate as such. I can't remember why I had the guts coming out on this one. But I felt like it was fun. The wings are that of a vulture, a shrike, and a cuckoo bird. I wanted to go with the sort of. Not really shunned. but weirdos of birds right. Vultures (and hyenas!) feed off of carrion their job is very important but they're regarded as gross and scary. Shrikes are small and also violent and I think that's cool. Cuckoos are one of those birds that will place their young into the nests of other birds. Which I thought fit because it isn't the baby bird's fault. But they're still an outsider that doesn't belong. Buttt Yeah! probably have more notes just wanted to write about design choices for fun

[fungstr]

Mme about the other account thing, if you want sure but I don't see a point in it.. Since other people should know that artists have other interests and aren't gonna be focused on one thing! But it's really up to u,,,, btw the first au looks like a cow....... Cow.... Cow wally, haha so silly but I'm very interested in your aus, if u have any info on them please let meh know!!!!!! 😋😋

GOING TO THINK ABOUT IT FOR A BIT!! well see... (if i do ill be sharing the @ here of course) i like to thing it would make it a bit easier for people who only like this specific content but also managing more than one account fries my brains a little ^-^'

ALSO CLOSE!! hes actually a faun :D hes from a personal little au of mine based on the The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (more specifically the animated movie from 1979!!). He takes the role of Mr Tumnus and Julie is the white witch (i havent really thought about anything else but the story is the same as the movie)

Hes quite old too!! i made him 8 months ago (look at him when he was all weird and ugly ewww) plus the guy himself he was based off of!! its his voiceclaim too

its nice seeing him again after so long but he probably will just go back in the drawner and catch dust for a while...but there he is!!

[philistiniphagottini]

Tell. Me. Them. ALL. I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR YOU YAP ABOUT THEM ANYTIME OF DAY OR NIGHT‼️ IF YOU WANT MY THOUGHTS ON CERTAIN CHARACTERS PLS DO ASK I HAVE SO MANY

-💧

First of all, feel free to yap about any character to me. One of the reasons I have Tumblr is so I can interact with people and we can all cry over fictional characters together. So, feel free to share your thoughts on your faves. I insist. Please I beg I am starved for interactions.

And secondly, I will try my best to keep this brief and name a few of my absolute favourites. And I will do my best to avoid spoilers for their respective stories.

First up. Devil May Cry. I think at this point you are probably aware that I love Dante. I love the whacky, wahoo, shooty mcbang bang, funny pizza man. I like his sense of humour and I also love the fact that he's more than just a silly guy. He has depth. You learn his flaws. His traumas. His weaknesses. But he chooses to be kind and help others and I like that about him. First met him in DMC4 and was immediately intrigued by him (sorry Nero XD)

Genshin Impact. There are a ton of characters and I picked my top 3 favourites. Kazuha Kaedehara. Second five star I ever got on my account, first being Klee. I was stupid lucky in getting him and I fell in love with his play style (always on my main team), his character design and his personality. He is just so kind, soft and warm. He has a nice, calm voice and I absolutely adore him. He would make sweet love to me and whisper so softly into my ear I'm going to melt ahhh.

Alhaitham. Good character design. Always in one of my teams that go through the spiral abyss. I don't even have to think about majority of boss mechanics. He will destroy things for me. Even the dendro chicken which has like 60% dendro resistance. He doesn't care. It's health bar will still melt. Love his personality. Yes, he's blunt and doesn't sugar coat words, but as someone (me) who is quite shy and introverted, I admire that he has no problem with speaking his mind, even if it pisses someone off. He is also introverted. Likes to read a good book too. I love me a literate man.

And third is Neuvillette. Constantly works. Barely rests. Basically married to his job. Is a little emotionally stunted. His character quest made me cry like a little bitch because deep down he cares ALOT, he just doesn't know how to show it. Very pretty man with long flowing hair. He is my other main DPS on the second team that goes through the abyss. He uses hydro pump and he makes everything de-spawn :) 10/10 character. There is another big reason I like him but that is spoilers.

Honkai Star Rail. I have Honkie Star Bucks to thank for my recent writing improvement. I have really dug my teeth into the fandom since October last year and it has really inspired me to write. Anyways, fave three. Dan Heng. The reason I tried it in the first place. I saw a pretty man on the screen, asked one of my Tumblr friends about Honkai Star Rail and they highly encouraged me to play. Been playing since. Dan Heng is a pretty man, he's calm, also a little emotionally stunted, but he cares a lot for the Astral Express crew, his new family. And I obviously love characters that are the caring type.

Jing Yuan. Constantly makes this :3 face. Big, strong powerful man. Is lazy. Likes taking afternoon naps. Has a pet lion named Mimi. He is babygirl and no one can convince me otherwise. Been through a lot of shit in his lifetime. Basically lost all his friends and feels regret that he was powerless to do anything about it. I love a character who is kindhearted despite all the shit that could have turned them sour.

And then there's Blade. The one I am completely feral for. Also love me a character that is a bit insane. And he is insane. Great fucking voice, I could listen to him all day. Brooding. Has killed a lot of people. His body is littered with scars and I NEED to get my mitts on him. I main him and IL. He's at E2. He can get fucking nasty with his damage output. Is constantly running on 1HP and gets pissed when my Luocha saves him from the brink of death :) Blade also has been through a lot of shit. He's just a tired man. I will always write him as a softish sort of lover and you can pry that from my cold, dead hands. ((there are many reasons why I write him that way but I'm very prickly about sharing why))

And I think I will wrap it up here. I'm pretty sure by looking at this list, you can guess my type. Don't worry, there's a lot of "problematic" characters I like too but I won't share that info unless asked. Oh and women. I like a lot of women too but I think people tend to forget that cause I usually just post about the men. I swear I love women too but no one seems interested so I leave that stuff for A03. Okay, now that I have probably made everyone in the room uncomfortable, I shall take my leave. Thanks for reading, feel free to ask me more questions :D

And now, some rapid fire characters otherwise this will turn into a five page essay. Katakuri Charlotte from One Piece. Big, mochi man. An absoulte unit, insanely strong, is a family man, has a big heart. Has a big sweet tooth. He loves donuts and he sings a little song when he eats them. He is kawaii desu ne.

Kaito Tenjo from Yugioh Zexal. Favourite out of all the Yugioh characters. Little scary at first. He seems cold at first but when he is with his little brother who he cares for so much, he turns so soft and I love him. Also his deck archtype is Galaxy Eyes. I fucking love dragons and I main Galaxy Eyes irl when I go to tournaments it is fun to use a deck filled with dragons, machines and space wizards.

Vector from Yugioh Zexal. A big piece of shit. Used to be a kind person but he snapped really fucking hard. He is a menace and honestly? Can low key get behind the chaos he causes. Go off.

Shinjiro Aragaki. Recently playing Persona 3 Reload and of course he is my type. The cold, aloof type that is secretly a caring person. Yeah. That's my type. He is that. Also strong. I love characters who are physically strong because as someone who is chubby, I like to imagine these characters can pick me up into a bear hug with literally no problem. (A girl can dream TT^TT)

Every single fucking Uchiha from the Narurto franchise. Without fail, I have had a major obsession with them. Every. Single. One. There's something wrong with me for falling in love with an entire bloodline.

Leon and Raihan from Pokemon. Leon is dumb with big tits and Raihan is a titan that has a strong dragon theme. Sign me up.

[lady-lazagna]

For the oc ask game: Kyoya cause his personality is v fun to imagine interact with any character really, Zeo, Ryo and Kenta :3

Sorry of that's a lot

That sure is a lot, Mr. Chow! (an anon has asked about Ryo so I'll save him for a separate post)

Madina- Her and Kyoya definitely have a... tumultuous relationship. Let's just say he doesn't appreciate her digs at his emotional constipation and her indifference to battle. Despite that, she does kind of like him on account of the autistic vibes, so she tries to weasel her way closer to him with more endearing dogs at his emotional constipation😊

She doesn't have a lot of thought about Zeo at first other than HAHAHAHA GAYYYYY! But I think they’d get closer after spending some cousins taking a walk at the family gathering type time together (🍃), y’know just really delving into their traumas in that completely open, non-judging way that you can only do when you’re high. That creates real bonds, y’know.

Kenta she definitely thinks is cool, and she relates to his over-empathetic ways, but that also is a cause of tension between them, since one of said people he's very empathetic towards is the man who gave her boyfriend (Tsubasa, for the uninitiated) the Heebiejeebies. Y'know, she's just not the kind of person he should be defending that guy around. Know your audience, and all that.

Kylie- Thinks Kyoya could benefit from a few more hugs and maybe sleeping with a stuffed animal at night. Other than that, he's kind of a douche and should really stop publicly obsessing over Gingka because it's embarrozzing🫣

Zeo... is the one that holds the other white one's hand?

Kenta is a fun little guy!!! But quite frankly, he is just not silly enough. His silliness levels are nowhere near as high as a 12 year old's should be. Maybe he should see a therapist to learn how to get sillier.

Ashanti- Kyoya is the rival of her rival, so that probably also makes him her rival... or perhaps Kyoya's beef with her over being a fellow Leone user is what makes them rivals. She respects how seriously he takes his craft, but if he could try to pull the stick out of his ass just a little and stop monologuing to her about what a lion is, that'd be great.

Zeo should probably go to therapy instead of coping with his trauma with weed and cute dates, but peace to him, ig🤷‍♀️

Kenta is a sweet kid, but he's way too serious for a little kid. He worries too much. Self-reflection is great but at this level when you're this young? He needs a harsh intervention and maybe a hug.

[beausuphs]

Probably should have said this to your face, but I've learned there's no cowardice in running away.

No one to blame but myself, I put up blinders, what did I expect? I'm glad that you're gone, I'll get that off my chest.

Toxic little spider, beautiful liar. Wish I'd seen it sooner. 5 years wasted, nothings changed. Ask for the truth, you shift the blame.

I see your habits, and know that your trapped. Isn't that why you asked for my help?

Maybe it was me and my obsessive need to have you see the boy you disregarded be the one you wanted. The pride of a lion, such savage beasts.

So go get your fix from some other guy, all those boys lined up, no short on supply. I'll be here, minding my business, watching you rummage through trash.

Make me open up to get what you want-- a puff in the nose, self medicated dose. No real problems when the whole world glows-- ride that fine line between reality and cloud nine.

Weaponized touch, wandering hands, tell me, what does your boyfriend think about that? He doesn't know how you dottled for Beau, just some kid You met long ago.

Am I the only one to hold you accountable for the awful things you've done? I think so. Of course the devil gets away with murder.

Silly fuck boy it's done and over, a wise woman once said "Call Me When You're Sober."

I guess you really are what you eat-- no taste for rockyroad ice cream.

[vampiric-daydreams]

Severance

Jasper x Reader

This is Part 4 of the Jasper miniseries. Here is Part 1.

Summary: Jasper approaches you one evening and tries to make things right - but between your fear and your lust, you find time to question the motives of him and the rest of his family. 

Word Count: 5,057

*

“(Y/N), please come with me.” Jasper’s voice pulled you out of your shock. You never thought you’d ever see Jasper Hale standing in your bedroom. Sure, you’d thought about it almost every night, but you never thought he’d be standing there under these conditions.

“No.” Your voice sounded firm. You kept your breath steady, refusing to succumb to the hysterics that had preyed on you earlier that day. His molten gold eyes softened. He took a cautious step towards you, but stopped as you met him with a glare.

“You figured it out all on your own,” he spoke his words slowly, as if he was afraid of scaring you away again. “I know you have a lot of questions, and I will answer them for you. But before I do, I need to be sure we’re talking about the same thing. I need you to say the word out loud.”

“You say it.”

He exhaled sharply, “I can’t. I can’t say anything until I know you’ve put it together entirely on your own.”

It was there, lingering in your mouth, impatient to be spoken but afraid to drip from your tongue. “Va-” It wouldn’t come out. Just say it. Vampire. You were in love with a vampire.

“Please, (Y/N).” Was he serious about telling you the truth, or was this all a ploy to see if they could trust you? Did they send him here to kill you? All of this had started from your silly crush on him. Was it his job to dispose of you?

You swallowed hard, and then the word fell out. “Vampire.”

The word hung in the atmosphere, turning the frigid air so brittle it could snap. He glued his eyes to you, but you could only look at the ground as your cheeks burned. How silly it sounded out loud. You may as well have called him a fairy. Your teeth nipped at your bottom lip as your last shred of confidence diminished, stranding you with dread and anticipation for the mocking laughter that never came. 

Jasper denied nothing.

“I tried to give you answers at school today, but you wouldn’t follow me.” He took another step towards you; careful and steady, leaving a muddy footprint in his wake.

“Are you going to kill me because I found out?” You looked at him then. He seemed so out of place, surrounded by your mess; and thoughts of dreams you’d had of him coming to your room like this contrasted with the cold reality that threatened to devour you.

“No,” Jasper stopped you in your tracks. “We aren’t like that. We’re different from our kind, we don’t hurt humans.”

“But don’t you… drink blood?” That brought your attention to each pulse of your heart. It made you aware of the warmth rushing through your veins; and how gratifying it might feel for Jasper if he sank his teeth into the soft flesh guarding your neck.

Jasper took another wary step closer to you. “Think of us like vegetarians. We don’t drink blood from humans, but from animals instead-”

“So, you bite neighbourhood pets?” You tried to lighten the mood, hoping to distract him from your growing anxiety with humour. Jasper returned a polite chuckle, seeming to understand.

“Think more like mountain lions and bears.” A sudden flash of delicate little Alice tearing at the throat of a mountain lion made you shudder.

Jasper glanced around. “(Y/N), please know that I understand your discomfort and I don’t want to worsen it, but your house won’t be empty for much longer. It isn’t safe to have this conversation here, and I know you won’t wait until tomorrow. Please come with me, and I swear I will return you safely. The minute you say you want to come back home, I’ll stop everything and make it so.”

You wanted to take the plunge—you were already alone with him, so how different would it be? But the thought of being the single human among a family of vampires—vegetarian or not—begged you to refuse. Though it wasn’t like the last time you had spoken to him; it wasn’t like when Alice or Rosalie or Emmett had approached you. This time, your gut fought its natural survival instincts and told you that the sincerity splashed across Jasper’s refined features rang true.

“I’ll go with you on two conditions.” Jasper held eye-contact; ready to abide by your rules. “One; you keep your promise and bring me home as soon as I ask for it.”

“Of course, (Y/N).” He gave you his word. “And the second condition?”

“I get to leave a note behind saying I went with you in case something happens. Neither you nor your family can touch it, hide it, or edit it. If you meant what you said about not hurting humans, accountability shouldn’t be too harsh a term.”

He followed you into the kitchen where you grabbed an orange sticky-note and began writing a quick message. “There is no reason for us to meddle with it. You’ll be safe.”

“You guys can’t steal it either, like I know you did with my notebook.”

Anyone else would have missed the quick flash of hurt in his eyes, but you caught it right before he masked it. “My family and I aren’t the evil people you think we are. But that notebook is evidence, and therefore a danger to our existence. We can’t have it falling into the wrong hands.”

You frowned, “I wasn’t going to…”

“We know that now, but we can’t risk anybody else finding it.”

“Is… Is that why you guys were so unkind to me? Was I close to figuring it out?” Despite the supernatural discoveries and truth, being treated like that by those so close to the guy you liked had stung you deeply. If you were correct about him having an emotion-influencing ability, it was likely he knew how you were feeling. Jasper didn’t answer.

“We need to go, now,” was all he said. You grabbed your keys as he led you out the front door to where his motorbike was parked on your front lawn. He passed you a black helmet. “I’ll answer more questions when we get there—whatever you want. I’ll stay by your side until sunrise if that’s how you want it.”

You took the helmet from him, grazing his hand on purpose. It was just as cold as last time. You took his hand in yours and held it for a moment. He didn’t pull away yet, and allowed you to press your soft, warm flesh against his icy marble skin. It was hard like stone. You turned his hand so that his palm was facing upwards and traced it with your finger; slowly grazing from his palm to his wrist, noting the absence of veins but the appearance of bite marks, similar to Bella’s; though larger in quantity. He pulled away from you, then.

“The sooner we leave, the sooner you can ask me everything.” He put his own helmet on, likely for the sake of appearances, and sat on the bike. You followed him.

“What, you aren’t going to turn into a bat and fly me there?” you asked as the motorcycle revved.

A genuine chuckle escaped his lips. “No, that’s a myth; and I didn’t want to scare you with our natural method of travel.”

You wrapped your arms around his waist as the bike took off slowly, building speed. “What is it?”

He didn’t answer you; not that you would have been able to hear him as you ripped through the wind, wondering if you were on the road to certain death. As hard as your heart was beating; both from the uncertainty and the physical contact, the smell of Jasper, of fresh citrus and some sort of flowery scent, made you never want to let go. You waited for him to speed up again, to give you an excuse to hold on tighter. The town of Forks faded away, your surroundings growing deeper and denser with forest. Before long, you could see the Cullen house through the trees.

It wasn’t at all what you had expected. You hadn’t thought of gloomy castles with dungeons or anything, but the openness of the architecture surprised you. The house was large and extravagant, easily worth millions. The bright colours stood out against the greens and browns of the surrounding woods; and the rectangular shapes and wide windows introduced a stunning, modern feel.

Jasper parked the motorcycle in the driveway, hanging his helmet on one handlebar. You copied him. “Are you going to tell me everything, now?”

“(Y/N), I’ve admitted to being a vampire and brought you to my home. Don’t you want to poke around?”

“Loitering outside the lion’s den is risky enough; there’s no way I’m walking straight in.” You spotted a log in the distance; blanketed in thick, green moss that was definitely not inside his house. He followed behind and sat beside you.

“What do you want to know?”

You didn’t even know where to start. Combing through what you already knew, you thought it best to elaborate a little. “Why do your eyes change colour?”

“They change based on feeding. When we’re full, they look like mine always do. But when we’re hungry, they darken.”

“So, do you… overeat or something? I’ve never seen your eyes look any different.”

He shifted his weight. “I prefer to be well-fed when in the presence of humans; particularly in high-density areas like high schools.”

Stupid question. “O-Of course. You guys wouldn’t want any accidents… Have there been any accidents? Have you ever killed someone?” When you asked him this, it was because you were embarrassed about asking such an obvious question. You tried to cover it up by rambling. So, when Jasper’s gaze lowered to the forest floor and his lips sealed shut, the shock of it made you jolt. He had.

“You’re getting scared. I can feel it. (Y/N) I promise that was a long time ago and as difficult as this diet is for me, I’m getting better and better every day.”

The next question shot out of your mouth like a bullet. “Exactly how safe am I with you right now? You’re getting better? Is it hard for you to be near me right now?”

“You’re very safe. The others are inside and will stop me if anything happens.” The way he spoke about the prospect of murdering you was so uncomfortably casual, like it happened all the time. It was as if a thousand disapproving eyes were glaring down at you, wondering what the hell you were thinking by coming here.

“When was the last time you killed—no—when was the last time you tried to kill somebody? Successful or not?” Bella’s bitten wrist was at the forefront of your mind as you waited for an explanation. “Did you give Bella that bite?”

“No, that was from another vampire. He’s dead now; but he drank human blood and went after Bella.” Jasper paused, studying you with his citrine stare. “This isn’t helping. You’re still afraid.”

“Am I already in danger because I know?”

Jasper slid closer, bridging the gap between you. “Not so long as no one else finds out.”

“I’ve told you I won’t tell anyone.” It hurt that he didn’t seem to trust you; like this entire thing was an excuse for the Cullens to follow up on your character. You stuffed your hands in your pockets and looked at the dirt beneath you; wondering if that was how the Cullens thought of you. Dirt. For liking Jasper, they probably hated you; Edward certainly seemed to feel that way. Perhaps their apologies only came once their rudeness drew too much of your attention? Little did they know.

“Other vampires,” Jasper’s clarification interrupted your spiralling mind. “So long as no vampires find out.”

“What about Bella? Is she-”

His next words slashed your heart like a knife. “Bella’s situation with Edward is different to yours and mine.”

The reminder knocked the wind out of you. It was the truth; the vampire you had fallen in love with wasn’t available, and you solving the mystery of his true nature would not change that. It would not impress him so much that he’d slide into bed with you and abandon the girl who—for all you knew—he had been with for hundreds of years. An unkind part of you wanted to kiss Jasper there and then; just to get something out of this mess. Or was it to prove to him you could be like Edward and Bella? A powerful urge to further insert yourself fought to take over. It couldn’t be that difficult. He wasn’t too far to miss. You fought back against the desire.

“Can we go inside? I-If that’s still okay… I’m cold.” You disregarded your fear about entering a vampire’s lair. Now, you wanted to see where he lived, and sat, and watched TV.

Your hands were still stuffed in your pockets, freezing. You wondered if they would be the same temperature as his now. You got your answer as he held your hands in his, gently helping you stand; ever the gentleman. Every instance of chivalry you had watched him perform for Alice ran through your brain like a movie. It was a habit of his time. His hard marble skin contrasted with your own soft flesh as you fought the urge to entwine your fingers with his; to bring your lips to his, to make him press you against a tree.

Instead, he pulled you up and then let go of you without a second thought. Shame weighed down your shoulders. He winced, not looking at you now. Your voice trembled. “Can you sense emotions?”

“Yes.”

Did that include lust?

You changed the subject, not daring to ask for elaboration. “When we go in… is everyone—are their eyes going to be gold?”

He seemed to relax as you said that; chuckling softly, like music to your ears. “Nobody is thirsty, so yes. You’ll be fine in there. They want to see you for themselves again, though. And there are some things Alice would like to clarify.”

Alice. Would she pull you aside and intimidate you? Stay away from my boyfriend or I’ll literally kill you?

You swallowed thickly, following Jasper up to the front door of the house. Inside, his home was light and inviting. The walls were painted white, and there was a lot of open space. Various paintings decorated the walls, including an enormous picture frame filled with a rainbow of graduation caps. Your lips curled as you got the joke.

“Where is everyone?” Knowing they were aware of your presence was startling, in a way. Could they smell you the whole time you were outside? Had they heard what you were saying? An overwhelming sense of dread consumed you as you realised who else would be waiting. Did Edward hear you contemplating kissing Jasper? You hadn’t seen Edward at all since the incident at school. He hadn’t approached you like the others had, and the mere thought of seeing him again after all his mind-reading made your knees quiver.

Jasper didn’t reply and continued to walk. You followed behind him, sticking closer than he probably would have liked.

Alice was the first to reveal herself, meeting you at the top of the white staircase. Her usual beaming smile was absent from her face as she looked between you both. “(Y/N), thank you for coming.” Bile rose in your throat; you wanted to throw up. Edward had likely told her about what you were thinking outside. You couldn’t speak and only nodded your head in response. You risked a glance at Jasper, who was staring intensely at his girlfriend; but Alice’s attention was fixed on you. She took a small step closer to you. Her usual voice, as graceful as wind chimes, sounded cracked. “Can I borrow you first?”

Jasper’s eyes were downcast while Alice’s held an edge of urgency. “O-Okay… Um-”

“I won’t be long, Jaz.” She cut through your mumbling, still not looking at Jasper. He nodded, jaw clenched, and walked past her, deeper into the house. Alice seemed to relax after he left and took your hands in her cold ones. “How are you feeling about everything?”

That was the last thing you had expected to hear from her just then. “I’m fine… considering.”

Her smile returned, adding sugar to her sweet, honeyed eyes. “I want to take it upon myself to explain what really happened. I’m sorry I lied to you at the café—but we have an important secret to protect and I just couldn’t-”

“I get it, it’s fine. But now I’m wondering, did I actually deserve it?”

“(Y/N), come with me.” She twirled around and fluttered down a hallway to your right. She led you to a room covered in everything Alice. Walking through the door was like having her entire personality punch you in the face at once. Like the rest of the house, the walls were painted white, and the ceilings were to the heavens. All-white modern furniture decorated the space; accompanied by some mannequins modelling some of Alice’s nicer luxury pieces by the vanity. White, floating bookshelves hovered on the back wall beside modern artworks and posters of fashion designs. Enlarged photos of Alice and Jasper in black-and-white decorated the walls on the opposite side. A pile of designer clothing was heaped onto the enormous, white bed on the left side of the room.

“Couldn’t decide what to wear?” You cracked a joke as you took everything in. Alice returned a smile.

“At least someone around here understands.”

Looking at the intricately designed headboard, the words left your mouth before you could stop them. “You don’t sleep in coffins?” You looked at her wide-eyed. Just because Jasper was okay with the stereotypes, it didn’t mean Alice would be.

“Oh, no. That’s a myth. We don’t sleep.”

“At all?” You looked between her and the gigantic bed, and then realisation clicked. A pang of jealousy twisted your insides as you understood exactly how the bed was used. You recalled Jasper’s old words. So, Alice and I will have the entire house to ourselves again, which is always a pleasurable time.

As if sensing where your mind was going, she changed the subject. “There are some things that I need to explain—with the truth, this time—I promise. Please, take a seat wherever you like.”

After seeing the bed and knowing what its sole purpose was, you couldn’t stop yourself from spitefully sitting right on it .. “Did I freak you guys out back then or something?”

“(Y/N), we know you’re already aware of what Edward and Jasper can do. My gift is seeing the future. It’s a little flimsier than what you’re imagining. I can see the decisions people make and then what the outcomes of those decisions will be. And I’ve been having quite a few visions about you.” You watched her, mouth hanging open, waiting for her to continue because you didn’t know how to respond to that. What had she seen? What decisions had you made without realising? Alice continued, “I saw you finding out we were vampires early on. During your fascination with Jasper, you noticed the same things you ended up noticing, anyway. In the vision, you reacted differently. You let your fear rule you, and you came close to exposing our secret.”

“Did you kill me?” You asked. “In the vision?”

“No, but the decisions themselves were fragile. I had three unique visions about you in one day, all in which you found out about us. And in only one of them, you kept our secret. At first I didn’t realise how you were figuring everything out, but Edward heard your thoughts about Jasper and we put it together. We tried to wean you off of him; so Jasper talked to you more - but only about me and how happy we were. The plan was to make you stop liking him so you’d stop noticing things—but it backfired. Jasper used his gift on you when you were too close to figuring it out. Edward suggested a colder approach, which was too hard for Jasper as he could feel everything you were feeling.

“Then, I met you at the café and tried to smooth over the situation. We approached it differently again. So, we treated you kindly and acted like the entire thing was just Edward running on a tangent—but my visions about the outcome were murky. They kept changing. Sometimes you’d figure it out and react badly, other times you’d let it go and move on from us, and only once did you find out and accept us. I think we’re living in that vision now.”

It was a lot to take in, and you had so many questions; but the one that came out was, “I can’t imagine trying to tell anyone about any of this.”

“The whole Edward-as-the-scapegoat story wasn’t a complete lie. When he read your mind, he saw that you would often fantasise about-” she paused, almost as if she was about to choke. “About separating Jasper and myself. Jasper had no intentions of letting that happen—but Edward wondered if your disposition might change after you found out about everything. If you were capable of blackmail, or-”

“I’m not. So you can all chill out, if that’s what I’m really here for.” Your anger at Edward was justified, then. “For all of you to check if I’m safe.”

“My intention tonight wasn’t to upset you-”

“Jasper!” You called out. Behind you, one door to the adjoining rooms opened and Jasper emerged. “I want to go home now.”

“Of course.” You didn’t miss the look he gave Alice; it was one of frustration. And as before by the stairwell, Alice didn’t look back at him.

“Goodbye, (Y/N),” Alice’s angelic voice rang from behind you as you left the room. “I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you.”

It didn’t take long for you to get back outside. The wind had picked up, and the air smacking against your face made it harder to hold back your tears. Jasper’s voice came as a comfort. “Are you okay, (Y/N)?”  

You didn’t reply and only shook your head as a stream of tears spilled down your cheeks. The embarrassment of it all. These people truly thought the worst of you. Edward was still assuming your entire personality and relaying the most negative parts of it to the rest of his family; and Alice insinuated that you were a traitor. Meanwhile, all of this was happening in front of Jasper. You were now crying in front of him, and he wouldn’t even comfort you.

“What were you doing in the neighbouring room?” You wiped your tears on your sleeves.

“We have a closet and an office adjoined to our room, and I wanted to be nearby to keep my promise about taking you home.”

You were glad you were facing away from him, because you couldn’t stop yourself from squeezing your eyes shut and silently sobbing. Our room. They shared it; of course. You had been mistaken in thinking it only belonged to Alice. All the humiliation on top of the physical reminders that Jasper was spoken for was too much at once. You regretted ever going inside. Now you definitely wanted to throw up. The vampire thing should have scared you away from him. It should have made you run for the hills; and while you were still afraid from time to time, it somehow made you love him even more.

Jasper had moved closer to you while you cried, and you could feel his cold hand chilling your shoulder through the fabric of your shirt. “Are you ready to leave?”

You still had so many questions—the tension between Alice and Jasper being at the forefront of your mind. Had you caused it? But you couldn’t ask, not with your feelings already so out in the open. You had embarrassed yourself enough up to this point. So instead, you nodded and turned to face Jasper; no longer caring if he saw you cry. Your voice sounded raspy as you said, “I want you to use your gift to make me stop feeling sad. Will you?”

“You’re sure?” But he didn’t hesitate; and already the melancholy made way for contentment. You wiped the rest of the tears from your face.

“Thank you.” You wanted to ask him to do something else, but couldn’t will yourself to ask the question. He handed the motorcycle helmet to you for the second time that night, and you paused. “What’s your natural method of travel? The one you mentioned earlier?”

“We can run really fast. It’s like nothing you’ve ever seen, and faster than you could imagine. I’d be happy to run you home, but not if it will scare you.”

“It won’t.”

He gestured for you to climb onto his back, and you did; resisting the urge to bury your face in his neck. His muscular arms held you close as he reminded you softly, “Hold on as tightly as you can.”

Without another moment’s notice, he launched you through the forest at an impossible speed. The tall trees surrounding you morphed into an indistinguishable wall of brown and green, and the ground behind you moved so quickly it made your eyes blur. Before you could even think to breathe, Jasper had stopped outside your front door and the world around you was visible again. The world was spinning, and Jasper picked you up bridal-style and carried you through the front door to your bedroom; carefully laying you down on your bed and sitting beside you on the mattress. “You’ve had a big night, you should get some sleep.”

“Wait,” you called out before he could disappear. “What happens now?”

You wanted him to say he would call you tomorrow, or meet you somewhere. You wanted to be told that this would continue—but the serious look on Jasper’s face warned that you wouldn’t be hearing any of that. Conflicting looks crossed over his features as he looked like he was debating something within himself. “You should talk to Alice again when you can. There’s a lot more to her vision than what she explained to you. It’s important that you seek her when you’re ready to listen. It’s about you, and you deserve to know what she believes will be coming.” He added dryly, “You’ll like what she saw for you.”

“And what about you, though?”

“Because of… foreseen circumstances, Alice has asked for some distance in our relationship for now. I can feel her emotions. I know what she’s trying to do—and you’ll find out when you talk to her—but I can’t let her. Please understand this. Regardless of whatever Alice says to you, I need you to keep a distance from me.”

“But-”

“There is nothing you can say to change my mind, I meant what I said. I love Alice with my entire heart. We have been married since 1950. Now you know everything, there’s no reason for you and I to continue talking about it. Please talk to Alice; but listen to me. I will not leave my wife for you.”

That was the final blow; all you needed to push you into an unfamiliar territory; one where you wanted to sever the one-sided bond. You thought back at the question you didn’t ask him earlier and realised you might die if you didn’t. “I want you to use your gift again to help me achieve that. Every time I feel attracted to you, every time I love you or I want you… You have to quell it. I realise I’m in way over my head. I realise I am embarrassing myself by continuing to love you.” Jasper winced as you said the last sentence, but watched you intently as you continued. “I can’t stay away from you if I can’t get over you. I need help. Will you please put me out of my misery and control my feelings for me?”

“I can only do it while I’m in range. It’ll wear off-”

“It might at least condition me to stop thinking about you. I don’t know. Can we at least try it?”

His beautiful eyes locked with yours, and your heart felt lighter. As you watched the vampire in front of you, he looked less godlike, less devastating. Still conventionally attractive, you felt the adoration slip away as you studied his face, his hair, his body… Everything melted away and was replaced by neutrality. For the first time in a while, you stared at Jasper Hale and you didn’t want to kiss him, or hold him, or profess your love with him. 

If anything, you wanted him out of your room. 

And so, with one last look at you to make sure it worked, Jasper turned away from you and walked out the door.

For the first time in a long time, you could breathe again.

*

Tags: @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @eggmettcullen @scuzmunkie @xcharlottemikaelsonx @oi-itsemily @cacti-succulents-andlesbians @aw0kenangel @jelly-fishy-babie @kawaiikpoplover268 @awkwardnesshabitat @salsameter @dillybuggg @awesomebooklover17 @badgirlsdeaddreams @raindancer2004 @camillapad @champagnejoker @tweedlydumbtweedlydoo @starrybumbles @bubblegumcat229 @boywivlove @mauvette268 @pleasantlycrazyworld 

[logically-asexual]

okay i'm already procrastinating and i don't plan on sleeping any time soon so here we go.

☆ ✩ my personal ranking for every season 1 Sanders Sides episode. ✩ ☆

i think it's going to be pretty similar to @dukeofonions' but let's see if i find something new to contribute haha. i see you didn't include that one about Patton in the Big Game or whatever, so i'm not including it either xd. also i think i'm going to count Accepting Anxiety as one episode only.

edit: i finished and now i dare you to drink a shot of water every time i say the word spanish or a version of the word comfort and become very well hydrated.

#16 I'm in a Disney Show

(i agree with dukeofonions here) i always forget this episode exists. it was ok in terms of being happy for real life Thomas but as a Sanders Sides episode it didn't do anything. the sides were just giving their opinions but it wasn't very funny or interesting. also i'm bitter because it made me look up the episode he was in and i didn't like it at all. i don't know if i'm too old for those Disney shows now but Thomas was literally the only good part of it, everything else was really dull and boring imo. a waste of time.

however, Logan supporting clickbait is one of the funniest things ever, and i'll never forget it.

#15 Becoming A Cartoon

i didn't hate this episode but it was just .. meh.. you know? several factors contribute to this. one, i couldn't feel much nostalgia for Butch Hartman's shows because i watched them in Spanish, and everything feels really weird when they speak English, i don't like how my old cartoons sound in English. two, it was disappointing to me because we were all desperately waiting for Plot™ and instead they give us this short episode about nothing (oh how the tables have turned now it's the other way around haha). and three, i didn't like the style of the animation :/ their faces and expressions freaked me out, Roman's douchey face still haunts me.

#14 Way Too Adult

here i'm biased because i don't like Patton much, and i didn't back when i watched the series the first time either, so this video was a little disappointingwithout the rest. also it wasn't relatable to me because i am still too young and dependent on my parents haha. but Patton is funny and it's funny to laugh at Thomas' struggling.

#13 The Dark Side of Disney

i've never been a fan of Disney movies. i actually never watched Mulan or the Lion King or Aladdin as a kid, so meh. i liked the ending, though, it was cool to see Virgil have fun and be right for once. it does make me a bit uncomfortable because the way Thomas tries too hard with Virgil's mouth movements and his low voice reminds me of a guy that had made me v uncomfortable not long before watching that video. so an icky feel overall.

#12 A New Year of Lying to Myself

this video was actually kind of fogettable to me. i had a hard time connecting the voices in the song to the characters and idk. i don't love it nor hate it, just .. neutral.

#11 My True Identity

pretty much the same opinion as dukeofonions, again. it's a good introduction and it's good that it was the beginning of it all but on its own it's not very special. i think it's awesome on Thomas to have come up with such a clever idea, like choosing the dad, the teacher and the prince and putting them together and match them with thoughts?? that fit so perfectly?? it really is just very impressive when you think about it, that it was just a random idea he had for a short 5 minute video.

#10 Taking on Anxiety

i liked this video a lot because when i watched it i had recently been a lot on tumblr, and found out through relatable posts that i had anxiety. so watching this video was really fun and it made me happy to feel so seen, specially the intro when Thomas just talks about what it's like to have Anxiety and Virgil is so smug about it.

- ★ -

okay now that those are out of the way things are going to get hard... all the following i love with all my heart so i'm going to rank them based on the smallest things.

#9 Growing Up

once more, Patton isn't my favorite. so that's why i'm putting this here, plus the echo at the end askjhsahg, but i love love this video. i remember we were waiting and oh so ready for the angst of nobody taking Patton seriously. and we received!! i love that though Roman and Logan are antagonists here, they're both so happy about Thomas wanting to have a healthy life. and i just adore the way Logan admits his mistake at the end and asks Patton directly. my heart... also aw.. the nostalgia. i remember none of us knew how to spell Patton's name and were writing it in very funny ways until Thomas and Joan told us lol.

#8 The Mind vs The Heart

when i watched this video the first times i didn't like it much, because i only had eyes for Virgil, but later i came back to it and loved it. so taking that into account i'm putting it here. logicality was the first ship i ever shipped in the show because i saw a gifset on tumblr of Patton screaming "what do you know about love?!" and Logan "apparently more than YOU" and the caption said "MARRIED", and i thought hey yeah... anyway. i love them. they're both my dads since that day.

this video is so so so relatable and i love it. Logan and Patton are so much fun arguing and i love how they compromise at the end and work together. im reconsidering.. i might move it higher? no, fine i'll leave it here.

#7 Making Some Changes

this video was absolutely hilarious. i personally couldn't see it as the Sides still once they were acted by Thomas' friends, i enjoyed it more as that bunch being silly and trying to be the sides but failing in so many ways, while sometimes nailing stuff suddenly. i really don't take this one too seriously as an episode. except Joan!Logan and Valerie!Logan, my beloved... i love how Joan acted as Logan and their voice and that they kept their ace ring on.. there's a reason i had them as my icon for so long. and Valerie looks a bit (a lot) like me with the glasses and dressed in dark colors, plus she spoke Spanish and there's .. no words to describe the joy i felt when seeing/hearing that. wait i'm getting emotional...

#6 My Personality Q&A

when i watched this Virgil was my favorite side and i didn't care much about the rest lol. when i heard his answers i related to him SO much it was scary, and also his voice is so soft and it was all very comforting. it was also when i first starting looking at Logan with more attention, because when he brought up Big Hero 6 and Fall Out Boy and said he didn't sing and would recite it like a poem? it only took a couple seconds but my brain said "me" and never went back.

now this video is a little underwhelming to watch for me, most of the appeal for me was in finding out the answers, and also watching it when we didn't know a lot about the sides. now we know more and want to know more so it's not as fun to me as it was first.

i wish so bad they'd do another one, although i know it would be more difficult with a much bigger audience, i think they can manage and i just need it. the chaos.. the energy.. they all being so savage with each other, learning little random facts about them you didn't expect.. i need it.

- ★ -

oh boy top 5 here we go. the next three are practically a tie. i can't choose.

#5 Alone on Valentines Day

i love Valerie, and the idea of this video was perfect and so perfectly excecuted. every side just giving their crazy opinions on how to woo a random stranger, i laughed SO much. first with Logan speaking simlish out of nowhere? at that point i didn't know practically anything about the sims except that it was some video game and the whiplash of Logan going AYO and the rest killed me. then when Roman whipped out that dialogue in Spanish??? my life was completed. i've never felt more happy than i did in that moment gosh. just the hilarity of Roman's drama, the shock of them speaking Spanish suddenly like that, the absolute JOY of seeing a creator i like speak (may i say) perfect Spanish, the other characters' faces after that.. never been happier.

also the conclusion was so cute. Virgil solving the whole problem without wanting to. i loved it.

#4 Am I Original

i think this video speaks for itself. it was fun to watch them all do the ideas Roman had, plus Logan and Virgil nodding at each other, (i love them so much), plus the angst at the end of Roman's perfectionism, plus Roman's just perfect name. this video has it all.

i think Thomas posted it kind of late at night and i watched it at 7am in the classroom as i waited for my classmates to arrive and the class to start. (i usually was like 40 minutes early to school due to mom’s work). i had to contain my laughter and it wasn’t easy.

#3 Losing My Motivation

i started loving this video after a while, when Logan passed Virgil in the position for my favorite side. but once he did this episode was beautiful. it's so funny and i love Logan and Patton's dynamic so much. and the video also so damn relatable in general. i felt so seen with it because they named all the problems i have when procrastinating, down to Patton's vague explanation of his feelings, it's exactly how i feel every time i want to do stuff. and the plot twist! i can hear the dramatic sound effect and see how they all turn to Logan clearly in my head, and it always makes me smile. plus there's so much Logan angst that can be dug up and overanalized. i love to watch it over and over.

#2 Accepting Anxiety

this video was perfect. everything we wanted. we knew it was coming and it delivered perfectly, better than any fanfic done in the waiting time. the week between the parts was agonizing but in a fun way somehow. i remember precisely when i was watching part 2 in my living room. i screamed. and i cried, a lot. i was feeling terrible at that time in my life and Thomas was such a comforting presence and i can't begin to describe how this episode made me feel.

and later it is always fun to rewatch with all their different reactions to being in Virgil's room, the energy of that was on point. Thomas is such a great actor and the characters where just amazingly performed. plus it gave so much to talk adn think about, the idea of the rooms, lots lots of insight into the characters, foreshadowing, so much. it's just perfect i have nothing else to say.

#1 (for purely emotional reasons, ironically) My Negative Thinking

i think Accepting Anxiety is the best episode of the season objectively but my favorite is My Negative Thinking. because i love Virgil and Logan so much and seeing them argue together was and is great. the comfort.. i can't repeat that word enough throughout this post. it's such a soft video while not being overwhelming with Patton and Roman's outbursts. just quiet (mostly) and clear and with perfectly timed humour.

Logan my beloved.. learning spanish... helping me with my own anxiety.. and their debate was so good. and the fact that they were friends i- i can't. Virgil didn't think Logan liked him and Logan told him explicitly that he did and the casual softness of it i cant even. Logan is happy that he tried.. it's just marvelous. Virgil and Logan as best friends will always be my favorite pair, and their dynamic will always be what i strive for in any relationship i might form, with both sides silently comforting each other within their own limits and realistic perspectives. so nice.

- ★ -

so yeah. that's all. thank you if you read all the way up to here. ♡ ♡ ♡

[everlywindex]

MY LONG OVERDUE TRAILER THOUGHTS + MERCH N WHATNOT

HEYY GUYS been a while since march huh? Anyways so i kinda expected to post these thought right after the trailer came out But. one thing led to another, procrastination took place and now it's the night before the new trailer release and i am wrestling with my impending genloss fixation just to type this out hooray!

side note i read through everything i already said before typing this out and Man has things changed lol. it's really funny bc all that was typed just a few months ago and here i am reading through it like "i would not fucking say that..." except i would. just. months ago. when i was young and stupid an unaware of the truths of the world smh

idk i just think it's rlly funny. time flies and i've been growing

anyways i stand by a lot of the things i said i just feel like i worded things kinda really aggressively n was a bit intense and all yknow (sorry to other iteration donnie fans for my actions rise!d is my personal favorite but i got kinda carried away w the "best by far" statements especially for someone who hasn't even seen any other iterations lmao. like wow march!everly wtf were you on about!!)

ANYWAYS rambles aside so

1. YEAH THE TRAILER WAS SO FUCKING COOL OH MY GOD

YEAH I LOVED THE TRAILER SO MUCH IFS SO GOOD.

i predicted it would be a vlog of sorts and while that wasn't exactly the case we Did get a form of that w the watermelon scene WHICH was great and close enough for me to consider this an absolute win

the voice acting was PHENOMENAL and i'm obsessed with the fact that they managed to work improv into this film with everyone in a scene recording in the same room it just adds such a natural vibe to the interactions that's sooo fun to watch. lion king remake had 1 valuable thing to give to society and it was giving seth rogen this idea

the comedy is on POINT (pun intended lmaoooo rip donnie's leg) and i can already tell this movie's gonna have me on the floor

but yeah i think raph is shaping up to be my favorite he's so relatable. just a silly guy. Absolute goober. i love him he can do no wrong

2. I HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS HAPPY TO BE WRONG (APRIL!!!!)

OK SO Y'ALL KNOW I WAS WORRIED ABT APRIL'S DESIGN. mostly in terms of the fact that i thought the leaked storyboard was fake and getting everyone excited for a black plus sized april who wouldn't actually be in the film and, if the design wasn't kept, a lot of people would be upset abt it

but EVIDENTLY the storyboard was real (which i will elaborate on later) and i was WRONG!! BLACK PLUS SIZED APRIL REAL!!!

i'm so happy for everyone feeling represented by her character bc if there's one thing i was worried about it's that representation that we got to see for the first time in rise will be taken away with this new iteration and april retaining this part of her character makes me feel a lot more optimistic for other diverse characters as well!

3. MERCH/GOD THERE IS SO MUCH ADVERTISING FOR THIS THING??

they are advertising the FUCK out of this movie and i am here for it

i am so excited to go into Walmart and be surrounded by turtlemania it will be a blast. i hope they're everywhere. i hope no one can escape

i am gonna go to that premiere decked out in turtle merchandise and look absolutely insane and it will be great. They'd better sell the pizza flavored mutant mayhem peatos at the movie theatre or i will cry

i still really hope they go the puss in boots 2 route with marketing at some point i cannot stress enough how much i want mutant mayhem boys making tiktoks to advertise the movie it would be iconic

4. THE LEAKS 😬

YEAH UHHH NOT COOL!!!

basically that storyboard from earlier is probably real and that's bc uh. The same twitter account who posted that proceeded to post a whole ass Google drive full of leaks and then got promptly shut down LMAO

but yeah i've had to dodge spoilers for a bit since the new trailer got LEAKED and now people are posting about it, which??????? if one of the crew members literally says "hey if you leak trailers fuck you" and you continue spreading this stuff i have no words for u

5. PREDICTIONS AND THEORIES???

OKAY SO I HAVE A FEW THEORIES BUT IM GONNA START BY REITERATING SOME FROM MY LAST POSTS THAT I STILL HAVE FAITH IN

first off i still think we're gonna get a resolution reminiscent of luca for the turtles. once again: "some people? they'll never accept them. but some will. and they seem to know how to find the good ones."

the movie will likely end w mutants being overall more accepted and integrated into society

andd,, i still rlly want that donnie headphones action scene y'know the one

NOW ONTO NEW STUFF

there's this one bit everyone's talking abt where you can see a 6 printed on raph's shoulder which not only implies that he's a lab creation but also that there are two more turtles and i think that one playset image that's been floating around could definitely imply that there's at least one more. What happened to the sixth one? idk. It got hit by a meteor i guess

i'm excited to see where it goes though! i'd honestly be down for venus, jennika or even kirby to show up they'd be so fun. Although i'd expect them to introduce them in a later movie rather than the first one, but,,, idk as long as it's written well I'm down for anything!

speaking of the turtles' origins though i do think that the utroms assisted stockman in creating the ooze. Since in that scene at the end of the first trailer w the ominous blue glow where the turtles are talking abt ooze it... Does Not look like they're talking to april. the lighting's different and the scene is also visibly flipped sideways. I think it's a classic trailer trick to hide what's really going on

Soooo i think they're talking to cynthia utrom! my take is that she's a henchman/employee for kraang or something. A messenger of some kind? Who's working with stockman on all this stuff

speaking of stockman i don't thiiiink that he and superfly are the same? Different voice actor nd all. I'm gonna guess that its more of a jekyll and hyde situation than anything

But yeah uhhh i have another theory, this one specificslly related to leo!

this is kinda just n entire scene i have in my mind and it's inspired by a scene in jeff rowe's other movie, the mitchells vs the machines

i think there's going to be an all is lost moment where leo loses his little brothers. Even after everything he failed to protect them. This whole time he's tried to be a leader and it still wasn't enough

and somehow he gets his hands on a phone and the phone has a video on it, and its the video from the rooftop watermelon scene

and he sees it, sees himself in the background, probably wishing they were training instead or something, and realizes

the reason that he failed his brothers was that he was trying so hard to be a good leader that he forgot the most important thing- being the big brother that they needed him to be

I'm thinking that he maybe had this very specific image of a strong disciplined ninja team that he wanted them to be and it's not until this moment that he realizes that's not what his brothers are meant for, and that they'll only succeed if he gives them the freedom to do things their own way and works with them and works to understand them rather than just trying to order them around

and armed with this knowledge and revelation he gears up again and sets out to make things right, leading us into the finale!

but yeah thgts just a theory.

.

anyways i have another one that's way less plausible but still rlly silly i think

SO i mentioned how I'm hoping they keep the coding from rise right. Now leo,,, in rise,,, was really. Yaknow. 🏳️‍🌈

and i was reading Abt how mutant mayhem leo is supposedly gonna have a crush on april and,, it got me thinking

there's no way they're actually gonna be a thing since april seems to be an adult this time around (judging by the fact that her voice actor is an adult and it would make no sense to cast teen turtles as teens while leaving teen april out to dry for no reason) SO it's clearly gonna be an unrequited crush like a teenage boy would get on his babysitter or something

But. What if its a bit different than it seems on the surface

See judging by the leaked storyboard it seems like the turtles' perception of the world is heavily based on fiction, and like, mood, but also what if a young leo who was yet to realize some things about himself saw the heteronormative romances on tv and, being kinda confused, went on to mix up admiration or platonic affection w romantic attraction

and i can see a big reason for him doing this being that he's... well. He's already a mutant, and the idea of being even more of an outsider than he already is would be frankly terrifying!!

So he assumes his positive feelings for april are a crush and acts accordingly

but then as things go on and he has more and more doubts that lead to a genuine conversation with april (not exactly a feelings confession, just a heartfelt talk abt emotions) she drops into conversation that she is actually a lesbian! which can also hopefully be relevant to having another female casey jones in this iteration LIKE in rise but i'm getting ahead of myself

And she and Leo talk abt it for a second and leo has a Realization abt himself and april ends up being the first person he comes out to! and he realizes that maybe he's not as alone in this as he thought :)

anyways if this Were to happen i wouldn't place it all in mutant mayhem since that's likely where his leadership storyline would happen before any of those deep personal struggles especially since there's already SO MUCH STUFF mutant mayhem has to include (the other turtles' storylines + splinter and april + stockman and his mutant army)

i'd say this storyline would most likely be saved for the rumored tv show this iteration is probably getting. I mean mutant mayhem mikey showed up in a nickelodeon bumper so like. imma say it's super likely, and that i think would be a perfect place to explore a storyline like this!

so lets uhh. Let's hope I'm right! Whatever happens i will be so excited to tune in i just think a gay leo figuring himself out w help and guidance from a queer mentor in the form of lesbian april would be SO sweet and just a very wonderful dynamic

AND UHHH YEAH THATS ALL!!! it is 3am lmao. and since the spiderverse trailer came out at like 2am a while back maybe the mutant mayhem trailer came out while i was typing all this out? That'd be funny

but yeah uhhh STREAM GENERATION LOSS ND GOODNIGHT FELLAS!!! cowabunga

TODAY. MUTANT MAYHEM TEASER TRAILER. OUT TODAY. I AM SO FUCKING HYPED.

i have been so fucking hyped ever since i saw the concept art. with rottmnt's cancellation i've been praying that the creators behind this new iteration will be able to tell their full creative vision, and i plan to be with this new iteration every step of the way on that journey.

i've been watching this movie's leaks closely (due to the fact that i am a tmnt hungry autism gremlin who needs every scrap of knowledge on this movie possible) and today i want to lay out all my personal thoughts, opinions and speculation before the teaser!

soo yeah let's get this show on the road!

1. i am a bit frightened of mr. rogen but damn does the crew look promising

at first glance the producer of sausage party also producing a tmnt movie seems like something straight out of the nightmare dimension and i can't say that i've seen rogen's other work therefore i can't reassure anyone that sausage party is an outlier and the rest of his work is actually genius or anything like that.

HOWEVER it does seem that he's gonna be taking mutant mayhem pretty seriously! he, along with the director & a co-producer, have been stated to be huge fans and this is supposedly a big passion project for them that's been in the works for years

additionally, it seems to be very focused on the "teenage" aspect of tmnt, shown in part by how they've decided to get actual teenage voice actors for the turtles. it seems to be more of a coming of age character driven movie than a typical action blockbuster. so it's certainly not just a cash grab to make money off of the tmnt brand or anything, there is heart here

i'm not familiar with evan goldberg or james weaver either, but jeff rowe........ not only has he worked on gravity falls, but he also co-directed the mitchells vs the machines. another movie that blurs the lines between 2d and 3d animation phenomenally and masterfully handles complicated family dynamics as well as a neurodivergent teenage queer protagonist

so honestly his place on this project already has me very excited and while i haven't watched gravity falls yet, anyone else who's seen mitchells-machines knows damn well we're in good hands

the movie has also been described as "left of center" as well which means hopefully anyone who complained about the rise turtles looking too non-binary or whatever and is looking forward to a "more classic, less woke" iteration will be in for a very rude awakening. Lmao

the animation style is supposed to mimic doodles and sketchy art styles, a lot like mitchells, so you can see that influence! you can even see sketch lines and whatnot on the leaked turtle designs which is super fucking cool and i'm so excited to see it in action tonight!!

2. donatello takes minecraft hunger games (for the first time in history!)

the turtles themselves are also, as i mentioned earlier, gonna be played by actual teenagers. the rumored casting involves three dudes i've never heard of as leo, raph and mikey so i can't really speak on them in depth even though they look promising!

but i think we've all recognized nicolas cantu as gumball and, even though i myself haven't seen TAWOG, i think he could be a pretty good fit? honestly i'd just be glad to have donnie's voice actor be the same guy who hunted down james charles in a minecraft tournament and promised to eliminate the middle class on smplive(?) just because then people will be able to animate mm!donnie to that audio and it'll be glorious

i honestly hope that those slightly unhinged gamer vibes carry over into donnie's actual character, possibly as a combo of influence from nicolas cantu himself and maybe as a remnant of rise!donnie. given that he was the best donatello by far, fight me, i hope they take the whole "borrowing elements from previous iterations to make this like a cool mega mashup combo of them" idea that was discussed, and give mm!donnie a lot of rise!donnie influence. that would just be so rad i think but maybe i'm just biased w rise!donnie being my favorite tmnt character of all time and all

3. SO ABOUT THAT LEAKED CHARACTER STUFF

THE DESIGNS ARE AWESOME i know a lot of people were mixed on them and i was too but they've been really growing on me!

i absolutely loved donnie's design right from the start though. he just has a lot of neat little details that set him apart from the others! his glasses, his little phone, his headphones (which i pray are noise cancelling) his weapon having jujutsu kaisen and sailor moon stickers on it HELL YEAH !!

i was kinda bummed out when they took his snaggletooth because i thought it was cute but i can see why they removed it, maybe to stay away from like the kind of "buck toothed nerd" stereotype that they might have felt they were getting a bit too close to. What they had better not fucking remove? The autism. given that the entire mitchell family is highly autistic coded though i am trusting jeff rowe not to fuck this up

speaking of neurodivergency, mikey had adhd in both 2012 and rise and they had better fucking keep that as well!

i also heard some rumors that 2012 raph and donnie had adhd and ocd respectively and i haven't been able to find any evidence for those but like.. y'know it'd still be cool to see those included in mutant mayhem as well! especially since, bringing up mitchells-machines again, aaron canonically had mild ocd so it's not like it would be out of the realm of possibility for them to give that to a turtle

honestly i love donnie's design so much bc of the little details it has that tell ya more about him in comparison to the others. i kinda wish mikey kept the stickers on his shell kinda like rise!mikey had, and i also would've liked it if raph still had some bandaids here and there like in his concept art design. of course i am mourning leo's braces just like the rest of us but at least mikey gets to keep em. i'm not even 100% sure that he's lost the braces in the first place though so we'll just see in the teaser trailer if he still has em or not!

of course though i'm always down to see an iteration give the characters designs reminescent of the turtle species they're directly based on (like rottmnt giving each turtle their own respective turtle species, and then giving them features respective of that species, like leo's red and yellow streaks, donnie's soft shell, mikey's pretty orangey-gold dapples, and raph's spikes) mostly because it's just cool and spices up the designs! so while the mutant mayhem turtles don't seem to have anything indicative of their species it'd just... It'd be awesome y'know. I'd like it

also in terms of the action figure leaks i think they're cute but i especially love the splinter design we got. He just looks so Dad and i really hope this iteration can stray further from the stereotypes and the "yikes" aspects of his character a bit more. i have faith in y'all!

i don't have much to say on the leaked character personality descriptions other than people on the internet will rlly just believe anything NO raph will NOT be canonically using he/she pronouns guys. paramount and nickelodeon are not fucking brave enough for that. i will still be he/she'ing raph throughout the entirety of this essay though because it is my favorite technically founded by canon hc that we have been presented with

also i haven't watched good will hunting. but now i feel like i should. i need to understand that little purple turtle more

4. i think if they give mikey a gun the entire plot will be over in two minutes

there are a lot of theories on how this movie's story is gonna go!

one is that the boys are gonna get cloaking brooches (like in rise) in order to disguise themselves as humans and attend school. and iii kinda doubt that! mostly because of their voice actors. given that the turtles are presumably biological brothers in this iteration that means either they'd all be poc or none of them would be. the former would be odd since two of their voice actors are white and therefore you'd have white actors playing poc characters, and the latter would be just as bad since the turtles are infamously blasian coded and it would just be straight up whitewashing

i think casting white actors as blasian coded characters might in itself be fairly questionable but if anything it pretty much solidifies that we won't be seeing the turtles' human forms in this movie because that would make it.. even more visibly questionable to people who may not have looked into it as much initially, which the crew would want to avoid i think. so if they attend school it'll either be openly as mutants or under some kind of disguise

whatever the case though i think sending the turtles to school is a pretty new and fun concept!

i really hope we get that one scene people theorize could happen where donnie puts on his headphones and triggers an action scene with the action synced to the music. that'd be fucking lit

i think the movie will probably end on a note similar to luca where the turtles are able to come out of hiding and there's a "some people? they'll never accept them. but some will. and they seem to know how to find the good ones." kind of message. the good ones in question being probably april, casey, keno? God i hope keno's in this

maybe the ending is letting mutants as a whole have a chance to be more involved in society. they were previously hiding in shadows but the turtles' heroic actions opens things up for them to start being more accepted? idk that's just my thinking

5. guys i'm sorry but that storyboard is so fake

i'm not going to go into it in detail since someone already did that in this post

but yeah that storyboard is most likely not at all real. which also means we sadly may not be getting a black plus sized april for this movie. it would be awesome! but it may just.. not be happening

so like if the teaser comes out and april looks nothing like that, then uh.. y'know. don't freak out

6. speculation on the teaser and marketing going forward

so i think that since this is gonna be a more character driven teen movie than an action hero movie with high tense dramatic stakes and whatnot, the teaser is gonna reflect that. i remember when they talked about a demo video that they made to showcase the art style (that was never released to the public,) where raph had one of her brothers record her skateboarding into a store and breaking something before they both ran outta there laughing and i think that. If anything? the trailer could be kinda reminescent of that

not literally that, of course, but something similarly modern teenager-y and goofy that would establish the characters' personalities and family dynamics well

maybe something like mikey doing a vlog where he talks about his friends and family members and we get to see moments of him bothering them for interviews or content for his vlog. and like you can just imagine all of the short clips and shenanigans that would come from that and how it could lead to a fun format for a teaser or even full trailer y'know! especially considering what we know of the movie's themes

one more thing i want to say is that god i just really hope this movie takes the puss in boots 2 route with its marketing. it'd just be so funny i wanna see the turtles making tiktoks to promote the movie where they prank each other and get into trouble and shit like it'd just be so goofy!!

and uhh... Yeah! i think that's all i have to say! these are all my thoughts lined up and written out and i'm excited to look back on this after the trailer, and possibly even after the movie, just to see how like.... things were before. Y'know.

but yeah hashtag i was here for the first trailer drop on the seth rogen tmnt iteration 🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀

see you guys after the kid's choice awards!!!

[fe-semi-decent-scenarios]

Blue Lions: S/O doesn’t want kids

{Hi! Someone submitted this as a request, but sent it to the wrong ask box. I keep trying to tag them yet Tumblr seems insistent that the account doesn’t exist? @angel6776 if you’re out there, this one’s for you love} 

Dimitri: 

He is slightly disappointed, yet relieved at the same time

We all know that Dimitri doesn’t bode well when dealing with fragile things. A child is such a large responsibility and this is a conversation he has feared for so long 

He won’t deny that the dream of a family hasn’t crossed his mind 

After all, there are pressures. He needs to produce an heir...but maybe this is where the Blaiddyd line should come to a close. His family has endured for so long despite their own sins. Perhaps relinquishing the crown may be what’s best for his people 

Naturally, he keeps this thought from you. He doesn’t plan to resign from his position anytime soon, but later on it may be time to choose a new line of government for Fargeus to follow 

One step at a time, things will fall into place. They always do with you by his side

Dedue: 

He is...well, he’s sad. It’s very rare Dedue shows such emotions and I won’t lie about it 

Dedue wants a family. He likes children and gets along with them well despite his intimidating appearance. Hearing that you don’t want to have any does make his heart ache 

It was only up until a short while ago that he deemed the idea impossible. His life was his highness’, but recently he began to have little dreams. Ones where there’d be a mini you in his life. Someone he could pass his traditions from home onto...

He wants to ask if you’ve thought it out completely, but knows better. This is a heavy topic and you’ve always been thorough 

He accepts the fact as it is and doesn’t push the topic for your sake. He may not get to have a child, but he does have you. That’s more than he ever bargained for in a long time 

Felix: 

He’s never been much of a family man. Not to say that he hates kids, but they’re not the easiest for him to deal with. He lacks patience and they are also very demanding 

He’s definitely the quickest to let the subject go. What’s the point when he never cared that much in the first place? 

If you wanted kids he would definitely agree, and he would try to be a good father. Though Felix is pretty certain that in the early years he’d be no good...it’s hard. Anyways, you don’t so that’s one less thing to worry about 

Now he can go adventuring and not have to think about someone hurting his kid. It’s bad enough that people already target you not that they ever succeed

You can’t miss what you never had in the first place, right? 

Ashe: 

Like Dedue, Ashe does want a family. The difference between the two is that he’s always dreamed of it 

Ashe thought for the longest time that he did not deserve happiness. He thought that his life should be used to help other people no matter the cost. There were already two lovable kids waiting for him back home, and he knew better than to ask for more 

The man does not have a greedy bone in his body...yet? The thought of having you has his (husband/wife) made his heart soar. To become a knight, marry, help his siblings, and eventually create a place to call home 

He dreamt all that up without thinking of your own feelings. He feels conflicted between your wants and these newfound dreams he’s become to internalize 

His friends showed him that does have the right to be happy and to move on from the past, but you are his happiness 

It may be greatly disheartening. He may need some time alone; yet, he can’t imagine that ‘family’ dream without you in it. He loves you, so it’ll be okay. The orphanage always can use volunteers too  

Sylvain: 

The runner-up in terms of not caring 

Does he like kids? Yeah, but they’re not a life necessity. Times are different and the Gautier legacy isn’t his biggest concern 

He’s pretty sure that he can just leave the house to Felix’s or Ingrid’s descendants. It may be a burden on them but they’ll definitely do better with it compared to how his family has

He may jokingly behave as if it bugs him, but he’ll shut up quickly if you appear to be upset

Kind of thinks that they’re overrated? Firm believer of the “if you don’t want them, then don’t have them,”  policy because they need proper love and attention. He has no doubt in his mind that he’d love them with all his heart, but doesn’t want to make you go through with it simply because he wants them. This isn’t like when he convinced you to hang a napping hammock on your shared balcony 

Ingrid: 

Well...she’s sort of grateful. She’s heard some “fun,” things about the birthing process from her mother’s midwives at a young age 

Ingrid also doesn’t want to take time off from her work for maternity leave. She’s very busy and sometimes finding time for her spouse is hard enough, so a child? It’s almost unimaginable 

She’s lived her entire life worrying about her family. They needed her to marry and in turn have children. Note the past tense in that sentence 

“needed,” thanks to her position in the war and Dimitri’s assistance, things have improved back home. That urgency is not as prominent as before

So, you don’t want kids? That’s quite alright. The population won’t risk dwindling anytime soon and a few less noble kids won’t harm anyone 

Annette: 

Annette would have liked to be a mother. She doesn’t know if she’d be good at it, but raising a child is something most people seem to do 

If Sir Jeralt was able to raise the professor into such a wonderful person while still being a mercenary, then maybe Annette wasn’t so hopeless? She could teach the little one magic, sing them silly songs, make cakes, and do lots of fun things with them 

It was fun for her to think about, but maybe it isn’t meant to be? She also wanted to work in academia which would be very demanding 

In addition to caring for her students there would also be a child under her wing. She didn’t want to risk neglecting them; so, if you want it to be only be just you guys then that’s fine 

She’s already happier than ever before. Not to mention that she can do all those things with you! Maybe her students would like to have cake? Or she can be the “cool,” auntie to her friends’ children 

Mercedes: 

Mercedes feels similar to Annette. She cares for children and has a deep protective instinct towards them. All the orphans at the church are treated like they’re her own, and because of this she is very accepting of your decision 

She simply decides to give her in place of the parents that cannot be there for the orphans. She cannot be their mother, but that doesn’t mean she cannot help raise them. This way her personal life with you will remain unaffected, and she can still make a difference 

Would it be different to have a child of her own? Certainly. However, that life is not for everyone. She loves you immensely and doesn’t want this to be an issue. All will be well 

There’s much to do in life that doesn’t revolve around the formal picture of a family. Many people out there need you just as much as she’s needed at the church. You both can easily live your separate lives while still having your relationship remain intact and achieving your individual life goals 

[deludedandlostcause]

Creator Tag Game

The lovely @spellboundzouis tagged me to share my top 5 of my own works (considering I’ve only started editing seriously last month this shouldn’t be too hard, given the lack of options). Thank you so much Sabrina 🥺

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

1. My “Reality Show AU”. I’m having a lot of fun making this a multiple part story told through gifs and I’m loving people’s reactions, so I’ll definitely try my best to make a couple more.

2. My “Harry and Louis as Disney Couples” gifset. Finding that Hercules parallel was truly a stroke of luck because I didn’t rewatch all those movies just to make an edit 😅 so I’m actually very pleased how it all turned out.

3. My “Harry and Louis + The Notebook parallels” gifset. My first ever real edit and the reason why I wanted to start working on Photoshop. If you’re a fish, I’m a fish. I couldn’t just let that slip.

4. My “Harry and Louis + The Lion King (1994)” gifset. For some reason Tumblr completely fucked me over with this post, it didn’t tag correctly any of the update accounts and it still doesn’t show up properly in my own blog. I have no idea what happened there, but I’m still proud of this one.

5. My “Every larrie @ Harry and Louis” video. It was just a silly little thing I made using about 4 different websites and it took me an entire afternoon but I had lots of fun making it and, surprisingly, it turned out a little better than what I was expecting it to 🙈.

In conclusion, I’m the larriest larrie. 

And in all seriousness, I make Sabrina’s words my own: thank you to everyone who reblogged my posts, thank you so much to everyone who writes nice and encouraging words in the tags, and an even bigger thank you to everyone to takes a bit of their time to personally reach out, anonymously or not, to tell me how much they like what I do. 

I’ll also take this opportunity to publicly thank the bestest and funniest person out there @allergictokiwis for being an incredible friend and listening to me whine about every little thing, especially about my edits. And I want to thank @louisithink @bonbonlou @halo-the-brave and @louciernagas for always being so, so supportive of literally all of my posts. It definitely doesn’t go unnoticed and I appreciate it deeply 💗. And lastly @holyshit, we’ve only started talking recently but you’re the kindest soul and I’m always super thankful for your help 🤗.

I’ll tag @sugalou @whatevertearsyou @onedirectiom @jimmytfallon @hoenyy @allwaswell16 @vintageumbroshirt if you guys want to share the work you’re most proud of! Also @halo-the-brave @holyshit and @louciernagas, I’ve tagged you above but please don’t be shy if you want to share your posts as well 😁

[millennialdemon]

Coming off of true trainwrecks the likes of Mars of Destruction and Skelter Heaven, I actually came out of Dark Cat with a sense of respect and gratitude for its competence. 

For the uninitiated, Dark Cat is a notoriously bad OVA from 1991 that you will see listed in many Worst Anime Ever countdowns. It follows 2 brothers, “dark cats” Hyoi and Rui, who investigate supernatural happenings and purify evil with their somewhat undefined powers of shapeshifting and increased strength/agility. The majority of the story in the OVA is about a school girl named Aimi, who is pining after her childhood friend Koizumi, who since the rejection and sudden death of his crush, has been suffering a depressive episode and ignoring her. Hyoi and Rui sense dark forces are manifesting at the school, and they keep an eye on Aimi while fighting off the increasingly brazen appearances of demonic enemies.

A monstrous ex-dark cat named Jukokubo is revealed to be manipulating Aimi with his dark powers, and Hyoi and Rui fight him, but not before Aimi succumbs to the evil magic -- as well as her own violent jealousy and overprotectiveness of Koizumi -- and transforms into a horrific tentacle monster that kills seemingly everyone in the school.

In the end, Koizumi realizes that Aimi was in love with him the entire time, and doesn’t fight her when she engulfs him completely. Apparently this act of selfless love was enough to purify them both, and although they do indeed die, their souls are “light” and able to ascend. This throws a wrench in Jukokubo’s plan to prove that humans are The Worst, so he turns tail and leaves his boss fight against Hyoi, threatening to return again. In the epilogue, Hyoi and Rui reflect on the mission and wax poetic about the nature of humanity while crossing a busy street.

… Ehm… happy ending, yes?

Now then: there are actually quite a few things I enjoyed about Dark Cat, and they are all very simple things that I had come to miss after days of watching other entries from the Bottom of the Barrel.

It had a narrative, and was -- mostly -- comprehensible in its storytelling, as rushed as it may have been. There was an undeniable presence of an art director, something I’m not convinced was present in a few of the other similarly rated titles I have seen. Some of the shots were noticeably well composed and even clever, and required an artistic vision and some decent effort to create. The animation wasn’t awful, the designs ranged from serviceable to genuinely charming (I like the subtlety of Hyoi and Rui’s cat-like features!), and I liked that the characters actually emoted. It wasn’t as generic as I expected and took some risks, even if they didn’t pay off and left it with a reputation of being “too grotesque to be enjoyable”.

I can understand the common criticisms of the gore and body horror being poorly animated, but I won’t decry it for existing and “being ugly”... of course it’s ugly, it’s body horror reminiscent of The Thing from The Thing. (Now would be a good time to warn people not to look this OVA up, unless they are sure they are okay with body horror and gore of this calibre. Tentacles with teeth and spines rip out of people’s skin from the inside and deform their hosts, it is quite awful! I would also include a warning for trypophobia -- there are shots where the mutations form clusters of holes on the skin.) The body horror in Dark Cat being disgusting and making my skin crawl isn’t a fault -- I think it’s the intended purpose. Though I will concede that:

The phallic imagery of the horrific flesh mutations, particularly that of the teacher who attacked Rui, was… bizarre, considering that otherwise the OVA isn’t particularly dark in tone or otherwise sexually graphic.

Perhaps having grotesque body horror is completely unexpected in a story about two bishounen teens (?) who can turn into cats and fight ghosts. 

Yes, Dark Cat, the OVA put on Worst Anime Ever lists for being a grotesque spectacle, is just as commonly placed on those lists for being a dumb anime about guys that can transform into house cats and who fight supernatural entities with not so amazing powers. This is a gripe I’ve seen in a few popular reviews, but there was no point during my watching experience that I thought, “Man, these teens are pansies, they don’t even turn into big scary lions or anything! What’s the point, it’s practically a power-down! cinemasins ding” because I don’t go into anime expecting every single male character I see to be Big & Strong & Cool, because I uh… don’t have brain worms I guess? I don’t know what to say about this criticism really, other than people who watch a lot of shounen have very strange hang ups about super powers. 

Otherwise, it seems the biggest reason Dark Cat is lauded as One of the Worst -- perhaps even ahead of the silly concept and nauseating gore -- is actually because of the abysmal english dub. It’s my honour to say that I didn’t watch the dub, so it doesn’t factor in at all into my impressions! 

So in the end, perhaps my only true gripes with Dark Cat are:

Despite having no particular issue with body horror and gore existing, the extent of destruction and graphic death gave the OVA a bit of a snuff film vibe.

The conclusion to the story was quite bad. 

It could be surmised by the brief plot outline I wrote earlier that Dark Cat isn’t a very complicated story. Demons and ghosts exist and wreak havoc on emotionally vulnerable humans, and supernatural soldiers try to mediate between the realms by purifying tortured ghosts and saving those dragged into darkness by evil entities. These beats are common in the supernatural genre of anime, but Dark Cat’s handling of its tragic morality tale left me more confused than anything.

Koizumi didn’t do anything wrong -- he shouldn’t have had to die for the sin of not reciprocating Aimi’s feelings, nor for developing depression after the rejection and death of his classmate and crush. Aimi… did things wrong, but was nevertheless the most compelling character in the OVA. Throughout Aimi was kind, patient, and forgiving when it came to being treated badly by Koizumi. In the finale however, it is revealed that Aimi was the one responsible for Koizumi’s crush’s death, assumedly having murdered her out of jealousy or out of revenge on Koizumi’s behalf for hurting his feelings. Prior to this, the first students to be killed by the tentacle monsters just happened to be the ones that had bullied Koizumi in class earlier that day -- implying that Aimi was getting revenge on them, as well.

It was with these revelations that I started to wonder: Why not just let the flesh monster manifest as a direct result of Aimi’s negative feelings? Aimi confessed to murdering Koizumi’s crush before the events of the OVA -- would she have done so if she wasn’t being influenced by the malignant force set on her by Jukokubo? I feel that her arc would have been much more interesting without the introduction of a non-compelling and badly designed villain like Jukokubo, because then we would know it was all her. Even if she was influenced by forces exacerbating her pre-existing jealousy and rage, that is a more satisfying option than having a big dumb green cat of a villain to trace everything back to so neatly. 

And really, what did Jukokubo do in the story beyond take the spotlight, and the blame, from Aimi? He had some previous relation to Hyoi and Rui, but it’s not developed at all, and his ideological rivalry with Hyoi was trivial. Hyoi could have come to the same conclusions about holding out hope for humanity without Jukokubo there to insist he be a guest to debate on his political podcast.  

The lack of accountability regarding Aimi is a part of why the resolution to her conflict with Koizumi feels so wrong -- he succumbs to her feelings because he realizes the evil was born from her suffering, and he feels that he has to sacrifice himself to make up for unknowingly hurting her so much that she turned into a monster from hell. In the end she is absolved via being purified and getting to die with her spirit entwined with Koizumi’s, and he apologizes for having not recognized how he was hurting her. 

Aimi kills his crush, kills his bullies, and ends up -- inadvertently, at least -- killing almost all of their classmates, because she was tilted about her childhood friend not realizing she had romantic feelings for him. And when Koizumi learns all of this, he apologizes and dies with her, and this is proof of humanity’s goodness? The dark clouds part and the rain stops and Aimi and Koizumi ascend in a heavenly ray of light, because he decided, while she was devouring him, that he was wrong to ignore his murderous best friend’s love for him?

I guess it’s fine -- it was probably mostly Jukokubo’s fault anyway, and everyone was just an unfortunate victim of his meddling… 😒

Other than the bad writing, the string of deaths that happen in the finale when the monster lets loose in the school are quite uncomfortable to behold. Deformed student bodies are splayed and strewn around classrooms, and the bullies are rendered into unrecognizable mounds of pulsating flesh in their homes. The violence of a fight against a monster like this, I can handle, but the graphic images of helpless death were difficult to stomach. And in this OVA, there is no miraculous reversal of the demon’s damage once it is purified -- there is no implication whatsoever that everyone who died isn’t still just as dead as Aimi and Koizumi in the end. 

The main thing I was actually worried about when I watched Dark Cat was that there would be sexual assault, thanks to reviewers griping it for “generic hentai tentacles”. I am relieved to say that there is none, at least not insofar as deserving a comparison to actual porn. There is sexual content scattered throughout the horror scenes: The occasionally phallic appearance of the tentacles, shots of the tentacles coming down from under skirts, and there is one shot of nudity when Aimi’s shirt is ripped open as she transforms, though I would say it’s too horrific and ugly to be sexualized or otherwise considered “fanservice”.

What is the point of the hits of sex imagery in Dark Cat? I have no idea. This isn’t Alien, it isn’t about the horror of sexual assault or the violence of creation -- though the main horror of the scene where Rui is ambushed by the teacher seems to be that she uses magic to seduce him, only to reveal a very phallic tentacle from her mouth that she means to kill (or infect…?) him with, which can have multiple, potentially offensive readings… it is a one off, however -- and there doesn’t seem to be any moral posturing about it as is often seen in slashers. I couldn’t parse any sort of consistent STI allegory regarding the plague of tentacles upon the student body, despite how many summaries I have read that describe the tentacles as that, a “plague”. 

… I realize I am probably the only person on earth to give any aspect of Dark Cat’s production this much thought. To sum up: It seems to just exist for the shock value. Considering the extent of disgusting imagery already present a la The Gore and Deformation of Human Bodies, I don’t think this OVA benefitted from featuring some explicit looking tendrils, beyond cementing its abhorrent reputation.

Is this all to say that I think Dark Cat is a good OVA? No, of course not. It’s tone deaf, and tasteless, and has awkward pacing and bad writing. But compared to the utterly soulless and artistically devoid works the likes of Skelter Heaven and Mars of Destruction, I would say the fact I was able to write this much about Dark Cat is testament to that fact that it at the very least, contains content -- and some of that content was like, decent! Skelter+Heaven was such a mess it was all I could do to understand the sequence of events, and Mars of Destruction was so bland I literally have no posts about it on the blog despite watching it more than once. Psychic Wars was a snoozefest I barely finished that similarly has no mention on the blog, and Hanoka’s production gimmick couldn’t save it from being a totally forgettable romance story. 

Therefore, Dark Cat is the best worst title I have seen thus far, by virtue of being executed with an average amount of competency for an OVA from the early 90s, and for having a balance of good and bad elements that gave me something to hold onto and mull over after viewing. 

3/10.

Oh, and I loved the bad 80s insert songs.