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Soap: Instead of of 141, this task force name should be skittles because everyone on this team is so gay we could be confused for a bag of skittles

Alex: We’re not all-

Soap: Oh don’t even start!

Soap: Me, a man loving bisexual!

Soap: That one *points at Ghost* if fucking gay as hell and I know that for a FACT because he fucks my brains out regularly!

Soap: That one *pointe at Price* Is a bisexual bear!

Soap: KATE IS A LESBIAN WITH A WHOLE ASS WIFE

Soap: That one! *pointing at Gaz* is a pansexual who hasn’t gotten laid in MONTHS!

Gaz: HEY!!

Soap: WE WORK WITH ALEJANDRO AND RUDY WHO ARE FUCKING MARRIED!

Soap: That one! *pointing at Farah* Your girlfriend who, let’s face is, you’re gonna end up marrying one day, is a woman loving bisexual DESPITE the fact that she’s with you right now!

Farah: Pretty sure I could be considered a lesbian while dating him

Soap: AND YOU! Just because you were a man whore for women before Farah doesn’t mean we all haven’t seen you kiss a few men before you two met! For all we know you could have hooked up with one or more of them!

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Price doing those embarrassingly gritty, try-hard ThruDark adverts for a bit of extra cash, which is all fine because most of it is faceless with voice overs, and then he happens to do the Price Toe Bounce™ at the end of one, and Ghost is in his office the next morning after it appears on his Instagram feed.

He places his phone down before his captain, hands flat on the desk, staring at Price as he watches the advert. With the exclusion of Laswell and Nikolai, no other man alive would spot the flicker over Price's face as he realises he's been made. Ghost smirks beneath his bally when he sees it.

"What'll it take?" Price asks, opening negotiations.

"Bottle of bourbon, wearin' Man City colours next game day and first dibs on the next kit haul."

"Ask me for a sexual favour, be less humiliatin'."

"Well, I can always send this t' Johnny, whole base'll have it by evenin' debrief."

"Fine, terms agreed. Out."

Ghost picks up his phone and hesitates. "That sexual favour still on th--?"

"Get the fuck out my office, lieutenant."

"Sir."

Very few people get to hear genuine amusement in Simon's voice. Price is one of those few.

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Recovery and conditioning routine: Gen Z vs Millennial, 141 edition.

Johnny & Gaz

ice bath and sauna

tracking sleep metric data

active recovery sessions

no caffeine after 12pm

minimise blue light before bed

macro diary, with focus on whole foods and protein

gratitude journal and smart targets

foam rolling those leggies

Simon & Price

a nap and a wank

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What would Queering the Map look like in the DC Universe

For those of you that don't know, Queering the Map is basically this website where people can add pinpoints on a map with their different queer experiences. It's really cool, I suggest checking it out (unless you hate The Gays, in which case feel free to unfollow me).

Now, for the headcanons:

"Went to a baseball game for our third date. We ended up on the jumbotron. Some people booed us. I think it's 'cause I wore a Gotham jersey and she had a Metropolis hat. A modern-day Romeo and Juliet."

"Drag storytime here, every Thursday from 5:30 to 7"

"sometimes love is kidnapping a nepo baby with your two polyamorous boyfriends"

"Did it with another Arkham inmate, 5/10"

"According to my grandfather, who trained me to wield a sword from the moment I could walk, I'm 'too young' to know who I am."

"Themiscyra more like Lesbos 2 amirite"

"I have a crush on a boy in my class but every time I ask him to hang out he tells me he's busy. I know he doesn't do any after-school clubs and he doesn't need a part-time job because he's rich as hell. I have my conspiracy theories. Let's see how they pan out."

"@ Ollie Queen I screwed your son in your office"

"On this street corner, I got so nervous talking to the cute food truck worker that I puked in a trash can. I am 42 years old."

"Don't forget about us in Kahndaq!"

"Smallville boys sure love them cornfields"

"I put the bi in billionaire"

"me-wow ;)"

"It's Sunday morning. My wife and I slept in after a wild time last night. I woke up first so I surprised her with her favorite breakfast and used the food scraps to make compost cupcakes for her plants. Then she kissed me and showed me a funny video because she knows I love wild dogs, and it makes everything I've put up with worth it. Some folks will see this and still call us the villains. If that's the case, I don't wanna be a hero."

"I know where I'd put my Lantern ring ( ͡ ° ل͜ ͡°)"

"No GCPD at Pride"

"I no longer live in England but I had my fair share of adventures back in the day. We have always been here and we always will be."

"first kiss here, tasted like waffles"

"Hey Lex I can be your sugar baby i mean henchman"

"I can run from Keystone to Bludhaven in five seconds flat but it doesn't matter because he'll never see me the way I see him"

"I transed the fish. Signed, an Atlantean"

"Wanna match butts?"

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Old and retired og pricesoap but Price falls prey to Alzheimer’s and he is in Soap’s care. Price often forgets who Soap is so he has to point out their wedding bands as proof of them being husbands. Price always stares in disbelief, having a hard time imagining himself brave enough to be married to a man. His younger self used to struggle a lot with sexuality.

When the name John MacTavish doesn’t ring a bell, the Scot hopes that the name Soap might help joggle the old man’s memory. Price huffs. “Soap? What kind of name is Soap anyways?” The answer brings tears to Soap's eyes. Maybe the man before him hasn’t actually changed much.

The daughter they have adopted together visits often and tries to help in any way. But Soap hates to burden her youth by caring for old people.

But it’s all worth it for the small moments of clarity. “I will always remember you… No matter how many times I forget. I love you.” Price says. “The moment I won’t be able to do so, put me down. That’s not me anymore, love.”

As the disease progresses, dementia sets in and the tantrums become more frequent, to the point that it breaks Soap’s spirit. They had a good thing. Thirty happy years after the end of the war together. But there is not much to do now. Price always hated feeling helpless. His doctors approve the use of assisted suicide.

The moment I won’t be able to remember you, put me down. That’s not me anymore, love.

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you know who’s gay? paul the real estate novelist who never had time for a wife and davey who’s still in the navy and probably will be for life

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Who is gonna tell him?

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hrnghhhh FTM trans Soap thoughts

lil Soap who always knew he wasn’t like the other girls his age

lil Soap who cried when he couldn’t join the boys’ footie league at school. His mom signed him up for a girls’ league instead, but for some reason that only made him want to cry more and he wasn’t sure why.

lil Soap who would always say “No, i’m hamsome!” whenever someone called him pretty, but grew out of it when he got older because the quiet laughs and ruffles of his hair that he received in response evolved into long silences and weird looks that he didn’t know how to interpret.

lil Soap who refused to brush his hair because it was a waste of time, so his mum always had to braid it every morning to keep it from turning into a rat’s nest, eventually coaxing him to let her brush it at least once a week because “I want you to look nice for church, m'ulaidh” and even then he’d sit on his little stool with the poutiest look on his face because this takes so loooong! How can anyone do this every single day?!

trans Soap whose family always sort of knew. The first time he comes back from a long deployment after starting T, he’s worried because he’s changed a lot and he doesn’t know how they’ll react, but when his Mum opens the door and lets him into the house, she just pinches his cheeks and says “you look just like your father” while his siblings immediately start clowning on him for his mohawk

Trans Soap who had to disclose his identity to Price so that he could still get his T shots while deployed and couldnt hide his big ol’ smile when Price just clapped him on the shoulder after signing the paperwork and said “Welcome to the team, son.”

Trans Soap who comes out to Simon over breakfast at his flat, where a drunk walk home the previous night had turned into to a make out session and almost a hookup, but had ended in a slightly awkward sleepover for obvious reasons.

Ghost who hasn’t exactly taken the time to sit down and work out what and who exactly he’s attracted to, he just knows he likes Johnny, so he takes a long sip of his coffee (because Johnny doesn’t have any tea) as he works out how to respond.

Ghost who can see how antsy Soap is getting while he thinks about what to say, so he puts down his mug and blurts out “still got an arsehole, don’t ya?” and starts mentally kicking himself the second the words leave his mouth because what the fuck?? who says that? He’s so nervous his hands are shaking and that’s how you respond? You blew it Simon, you idiot-

Soap who starts losing his mind laughing, both because that was the goofiest thing anyone has ever said in response to finding out about him being trans and he’s so relieved that Simon didn’t make a big deal of it

and then they kiss or something idk

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Soldier: Calling our allies by their legal names!

---

Soldier: Hey, Farah

Farah: *turns and stares at him*

Farah: Do I know you?

Soldier: ... no

Farah: Oh good, I was afraid I had forgotten another name

Soldier: Oh-

---

Soldier: hey Alex-

Alex: What?

Soldier:

Alex: ... you said my name like you had a question? What was it??

Soldier: I didn't have a question

Alex: ... wasting my time- *leaves*

Soldier: ... Hey Alex-

Alex, immediately: Yea?

Soldier: *snorts*

Alex: AHH-

---

Soldier: Sup, Phil

Graves: Ex-fucking-cuse me?

Soldier: I-

Graves: Nah- You don't have that privilege

Shadow passing by: Hey Phil

Graves: Sup

Soldier:

---

Soldier: Hey [redacted]

Soldier: *immediately tackled by Chimera soldiers*

Nik: ... they won't notice you're gone

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CoD incorrect quotes BUT Price is everyone’s dad bc why not lol

*throws confetti*

Price: we all have our own demons

Price, gesturing at the TF141: these are mine

*at zoo*

Soap: what are they in for?

Price: this isn’t a prison…

Gaz: so they can leave?

Price: no, but…

Ghost, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone

Soap, holding a python: guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him?

Price: YOU DID WHAT?!?

Gaz: William Snakespear

Gaz, gesturing at Price: Soap! Look what you did! You made dad upset

Soap: dad, please don’t cry. We’re sorry…

Price, drunk out of his mind and near tears: I DONT REMEMBER GIVING BIRTH TO ANY OF YOU!

Price: IM NOT A FATHER FIGURE

Ghost: what are you doing??

Price, holding a knife above a sandwich: Gaz doesn’t like the crust

Bonus!

He sticks their mission reports on the fridge and THAT’S, ladies and gentlemen and others, CANON!!!

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Dork dad 👶💀

Idea from here <3

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I bought this last night. This is a total game changer. Internet fame, here I come.

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ONLINE - 141 social media au

୨୧ 𝘴𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘴𝘪𝘴 : the task forces tinder profiles.

୨୧ 𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘴 : suggestive.

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Soldier: Calling my superiors by their legal names! _

Soldier: Sup, John Price, staring at him: Don't do that Soldier: ... I'm sorry _ Soldier: How's it going, Kyle? Gaz: Oh I don't like that. Mm, no, sure do not Soldier, laughing: Something wrong, Kyle? Gaz: No no- no likey Soldier: *laughs* _ Soldier: Hey, John, can you sign this doc for me? Soap: Sure- No. No absolutely not Soldier: Please, Johnny- Soap: NO _ Soldier: Hey, Simon, can- Ghost: THE FUCK YOU CALL ME?? Soldier: I'M SORRY Ghost: I KNOW WHERE YOU'RE SLEEPING AT ALL TIMES Soldier: I'M SORRY I'M SORRY- _ (bonus) Soldier: Hey, Kate Laswell: *stops walking and swivels her head around to stare* Soldier: ... This is scarier than LT yelling at me