#oscar's hell farm

[ficretus]

RWBY teams get reorganized.

CRWBY: Hello RWBY characters.

Ruby: Who are you? Are you Gods?

Salem: Please tell me you are destroying the world.

Cinder: What do you mean RWBY characters? Does that mean that brat is the protagonist?

CRWBY: No, no, yes. Higher ups in Viz demanded we make some changes to the show. So we are gonna reorganize the teams based on the origin of their fairy tale allusion.

Yang: I didn't understand a single word you just said.

CRWBY: Andddd... reshuffle!

*magic poof*

TEAM GERMANY:

Ruby: Why do I no longer like strawberries and cookies?

Weiss: Take this pretzel and shut up.

Ruby: Weiss? We are still partners?

Weiss: Of course we are, nothing can separate us.

Ruby: That's great. Where are the others?

Weiss: It appears they are not German enough for our team.

Ruby: Look! There is another one of our teammates! *turns into rose petals*

Weiss: Ruby, don't jump a complete stranger like that.

Ruby: *tackles them down* Hello, I am Ruby Ro... oh.

Salem: Somehow this curse keeps getting worse.

Weiss: Scheisse!

TEAM FRANCE:

Oscar: I hope ze Ruby is my partner, hon hon hon. Ugh, what the hell happened to my voice.

Ozpin: Oscar, you are taking a dangerous route I cannot follow.

Oscar: Oz, what ze happening?

Ozpin: You are turning French. *soul gets ejected from Oscar's body*

Oscar: Nooooooo. It feels like part of me is missing now. I have a sudden urge to fill it with cheese and wi... Sacrebleu, I am really turning into ze Frenchman. I need to talk to someone, where are my teammates. *hears loud noises* There they are.

*walks up*

Oscar: Bonj... Hello, I am Oscar.

Cinder: We know who you are Farm Boy. Now, as the leader of this team...

Jaune: Who the hell put you in charge of this team?! Why are you even on this team, Cinderella story has many origins!

Cinder: Because I am Cinderella with glass slippers nimrod! Only French one has glass slippers!

Jaune: Great, I'm on the team with Pyrrha's murderer.

Cinder: Oh give me a break, they revived her. She is over there tossing Mercury. You are just salty because now there is no excuse for you not getting laid.

Oscar: Wait, why am I the only one with ze French accent?

Blake: Because you are an impressionable kid.

Oscar: Blake! You are ze here too!

Blake: *chuckles* Yes I am.

Jaune: Oh shut up!

Cinder: Make me!

Blake: How long will it take before they start making out?

TEAM ENGLAND:

Yang: Of course it's raining. Can this place get any worse?

Jax: Hello peasant.

Yang: I am gonna pretend I didn't hear that.

Jax: Me and my sister need someone to observe our polo game. Now move your arse.

Gilian: Polo? I am not playing polo with you Jax. You always rile up my horse with your Semblance!

Jax: So what? Are we suppose to just sit here and drink tea?

Gilian: I wouldn't mind that. Peasant, bring us some tea! And make sure it is Darjeeling, otherwise I might throw up.

*Yang knocks out both*

Yang: Can't pretend twice in the row.

Blake: Yang, is that you?

Yang: Blake! Where are you?

Blake: I am on the other side of the Channel!

Yang: What's going on on the other side?

Blake: Jaune and Cinder fighting... scratch that... making out. Oscar is losing himself to his French side. Toss me some fish and chips before his Frenchness fully overtakes him. You know what, throw some for me as well.

Yang: Are we suppose to be enemies now that you are French and I'm English?

Blake: Yes we are, but that's so hot.

Yang: Oh yeah. Wait, someone else is here.

Robyn: *pickpocketing Asturias siblings* No time to explain, I'm repurposing their funds.

TEAM NORDIC:

Winter: This is something new. I... I've never had a partner or team. I just hope it's not...

Qrow: Hello Ice Queen!

Winter: Branwen...

Qrow: It turns out Ice Queen is based on Snow Queen, how original.

Winter: What are you even doing here? Don't you have some other places to be, other people to bother?

Qrow: Nope, I am as Nordic as it gets. It turns out I am based on one of the Odin's messengers. Other one being... oh crap.

Raven: Hello brother!

Qrow: Raven... Don't you have some other places to be, family members to abandon?

Raven: And miss out on this? No way.

Winter: Wait a minute... You kidnapped Weiss!

Raven: Oh please, she ran into me. Can hardly count it as kidnapping.

Winter: Oh don't worry, this will hardly count as a beatdown. *draws swords*

Raven: Pfff, another Maiden to beat.

Nora: Heya Qrow, what did I miss.

Qrow: Not much kid, just some of the reasons I started drinking.

TEAM USA:

Ozpin: Come on James, don't be a buzzkill, we are doing the Wizard of Oz walk.

Ironwood: I am starting to believe that it wasn't a coincidence I tried to kill you.

Ozpin: Ha ha ha, good old James and his deadpan humor.

*walks down the road holding hands with Glynda, Theodore and Lionheart*

Adam: So, drinking alone on the sideline.

Ironwood: What are you doing here Taurus? Aren't you suppose to be on Team France?

Adam: Well, I tried. But they argued I don't count since most of my allusion comes from Disney's Beauty and the Beast. And Blake filed a restraining order... typical.

Ironwood: You know I can have you arrested.

Adam: Arrest a teammate? Who does that?

Ironwood: I do.

Adam: Fair enough. You know, I stabbed a teammate before.

Ironwood: Cheers.

Adam: Cheers.

TEAM ITALY:

Penny: *sad lonely robot noises* Wait, who is there?

Neo: *signs* It's me, Neo. *sits next to Penny*

Penny: Aren't you based on an ice cream?

Neo: *signs* It's an Italian ice cream. Do you want to be alone?

Penny: No. *shifts closer*

[leclerc-s]

paint the town red - part four

FERRARI (TAYLOR'S VERSION)

series masterlist

peter parker i'm going to miss you guys

sebastian vettel it's a week break peter. we'll be fine.

peter parker A WEEK IS TOO LONG! I SPENT THE LAST MONTH WITH YOU PEOPLE!

ollie bearman i'm happy to go home. away from peter. sometimes i worry for him.

bianca stark-potts you wouldn’t be the first ollie.

harley keener i bet oscar is happy to get away from peter

peter parker fuck off

tony stark language

bianca stark-potts pipe down steve rogers

charles leclerc i do not understand

harley keener the avengers were on a mission one time and steve accidentally said language when someone cursed.

peter parker I MISS YOU GUYS!

carlos sainz you just left???

tony stark we should spend the next break at seb’s farm

sebastian vettel ABSOLUTELY NOT! i don’t want you heathens on my farm!

charles leclerc aww come on. call it team bonding or something.

carlos sainz i’m sure you know all about that harley keener yeah you would know all about team bonding wouldn’t you?

tony stark what the hell does that mean?

harley keener nothing old man.

carlos sainz don’t worry about it.

peter parker YOU GUYS SHOULD COME TO NEW YORK SOON!!

charles leclerc i'd like to see my family, thank you for the invite though.

bianca stark-potts harley i swear to god you open your fat mouth and carlos will be down a race engineer.

harley keener well maybe someone and someone else shouldn’t have gotten drunk after bahrain and slept with each other.

charles leclerc it was a one time thing!

carlos sainz then what the hell was saudi?

harley keener IT HAPPENED TWICE??

bianca stark-potts three times actually

charles leclerc although that one doesn’t count because nothing happened. we did sleep on the same bed.

harley keener I’M TELLING NAT!

bianca stark-potts AND I’LL TELL EVERYONE YOU STARTED THAT RUMOR ABOUT CLINT LIVING IN THE VENTS!

charles leclerc it won’t happen again, i promise.

carlos sainz okay mr. 'i won't date her friend carlos. i promise.'

harley keener HOMIE HOPPER!!

charles leclerc fuck you keener.

harley keener of course you would want to, you already slept with my friend now you want to sleep with me. charles leclerc OH COME ON! harley keener it's okay, i know it was an inchident charles leclerc honestly just date arthur, you two are perfect for each other. fucking pricks

biancastark-potts has posted new stories

back home, new york how i've missed you.

mr.woofstappen is glad to be back home.

reunited with my favorite person michellejones

someone teach these boomers how to pose for pictures

AUSTRALIA 2024

scuderiaferrari posted new stories

quali day (carlos' version)

quali day (charles' version)

AND THAT'S ANOTHER POLE POSITION FOR CHARLES LECLERC HERE IN AUSTRALIA!!

THAT'S P1 AND P3 FOR OUR BOYS FOR QUALI!

taglist: @celesteblack08 @be-your-coffee-pot @evans-dejong @elliegrey2803 @bingewatche @arkhammaid @sunflower-golden-vol6 @lorarri @melanier7 @ironspdy @mypage-myfandoms @vellicora @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @enchantedthoughts @stopeatread @hobiismyhopeu @lilsiz @alessioayla @niniluvsainz @au-ghosttype @fulla02 @cowboylikemets1989 @six-call @embrosegraves @justtprachisblog @bionic-donut @rmeddar123 @nichmeddar @landonorizzz @unluckyyoshi @raizelchrysanderoctavius

strikethrough means i couldn't tag you

¡leclerc-s speaks! peter parker is a swiftie, you cannot convince me otherwise. let's get ready for whatever shitshow las vegas is going to be (i say this as an american. at least i live on the west coast so the schedule isn't as bad for me as it is for others. same time zone as vegas baby!!!)

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[hotvintagepoll]

omfg i just had the best dream of my LIFE and i think you’d find it funny lol

so, apparently in my dreamworld, people can just get new grandparents - like if someone dies, you can just be assigned new ones lmao

i was at home awaiting the news and my mom told me that my new grandparents were beefing with each other and I had to help settle them before I got officially assigned and I was like hell yeah bring it on

i get there (specifically at a little estate with a big ass farm strictly between Pennsylvania and Massachusetts bc the train conductor was very persistent that I got off there 😭) and right away, I hear yelling and people throwing stuff

before i can knock, miss bette davis swings open the door - cigarette and scotch in hand dressed in a beautiful dressing gown and calls me her little chick and ushers me inside to tell my new grandfather to kindly stfu and get out of HER house

obvs, im like “yes, ma’am, whatever you say ma’am”

i wander in and see a very broody and very melodramatic mr. claude rains

poor guy is so distraught and im immediately at his side before he and bette trade insults (“old bat” and “over-stuffed shirt”) and then she insults him by bringing up the fact that she actually has oscars and he claps back with the fact that he has a tony

meanwhile, i’m dying bc i want this to happen in real life

i get them to make up and she makes him take me and her to costco to buy things to make up for him being so mean to her :((

14/10 would dream again

incredible dream, I'm going to temporarily pin this to the top of the blog as a badge of honor

[itsclydebitches]

I think I sent an ask like this along time ago? IDK though.

The weird thing about Oz is that it feels like there was stuff they could have brought up if they wanted us to view him in a darker light that they just...dont

Like, that whole thing with Oz conquering the world with Salem and tricking people into worshipping them as gods. Yeah he eventually saw what he was doing was wrong, but that was after he and Salem had 4 kids. So for a long-ass time he was an imperialist god-king

Or the part where he nearly attacked Ruby once she asked Jinn the question.

It just...feels like those are totally things that should be discussed more. But instead they focus on a bunch of other things that are really weird to hold against Oz.

Like why focus on this you have way better things to hold against Oz right there.

That's very possible, anon! I don't know how many unanswered asks are sitting in this inbox now, but it's not a small number...

Totally agree. I think Oz gets criticized to an unfair degree by the canon and fandom alike (no one is shocked to hear this lol) but part of my issue is what he's criticized for, not just the extent. The show tends to take incredibly weird perspectives like, "How dare you give our uncle cool bird powers with no downside" and "How dare you save group members from a deadly airship crash." The fandom takes stances with larger political implications like, "How dare an abused man 'steal' his daughters away from the mother who wants to use them for a magical form of genocide" or issues that fundamentally break the core concept of the show: "How dare you let teenagers fight dangerous battles / How dare you reincarnate - something you have no control over - into a 14yo boy." The show does engage with some of Ozpin's morally complex choices with no easy answers like, "Is it okay to keep secrets if history has shown severe downsides to revealing that information?"... but then the answer the story decides on - "No it's not" - immediately doesn't apply to half the cast, with no examination of how that changes our perception of Ozpin's choice. And, as you say, the show simultaneously introduces HUGE mistakes - "You positioned yourself as a god! Then a king!!"- that the characters could absolutely mistrust him for... but they don't. Because they're too busy focusing on all of the above.

The only thing I'd push back against here is anyone being mad at Ozpin for "nearly attacking" Ruby. I'd consider that a highly unfair criticism as well given that:

We don't know if he would have attacked. He just charges with his and out-stretched, so Ozpin could just as likely have been intending to snatch the Relic

All these characters have aura and train/hit for funsies on a regular basis. It feels like a stretch - one working to paint Ozpin in an unfair light - to act like Ruby taking a hit is suddenly some horrific event that's worthy getting up-in-arms about

In this same scene the girls pull their weapons on Qrow and Oscar - someone WITHOUT that training/fully unlocked aura - gets punched into a tree. Again, consistent morality. Why is Ozpin in the wrong for charging with an open hand (ambiguous) but the girls are justified in pulling their weapons (clear intent)? Why should Super Fighter Ruby be defended for taking a hit after forcibly stealing secrets from Ozpin, but we should shrug off the newbie farm kid taking a hit for the "sin" of being an unwitting, passive vessel?

Plus... as said above, "forcibly stealing secrets." I'm not saying Ozpin is 100% justified in attacking Ruby over this, but I think he's a HELL of a lot more justified compared to actions like threatening Qrow or attacking Oscar. Ruby ignored his requests to give the Relic back; she ignored how terrified he clearly was. She wasted a wish (which Ozpin knew would happen). She revealed his entire, traumatic history to the group PLUS a total stranger (Maria) which, again, Ozpin knew would happen. Of course he tried to stop her. We will never know what lengths he would have gone to, whether he would have truly fought Ruby or just made a last minute grab, but even if he had fought her... It think that's understandable. We can argue about whether it's right, but it's not the sort of thing the heroes should be holding against him once tempers have cooled, especially when he has stuff like playing God that they have hold as a long term grudge.

Out of everything Ozpin has done, maybe being willing to fight the prodigy fighter to keep her from making one of the stupidest decisions we've seen in the show to date is pretty low on the sin list.

[velvetsainz]

✨ formula one but make it star wars ✨

listen: i was originally a star wars slut (og blog was @scavengerrey for proof), so it only makes sense that i do this. the writing juices are not...…juicy atm so here’s some scraps in the form of who the hell i think these drivers would be in a star wars au!! i've seen a bunch of other au's floating around, so i figured i'd give it shot for what i know best. enjoy!! 🤍

max verstappen — he’s in his anakin skywalker jedi knight era rn. not evil but he certainly flirts with it—like anakin in the first half of ROTS. he could become darth fucking vader if he wants to, but he’s resisting it and comfortable in his dominance.  a semi-benevolent dictator, if you will.

checo perez — probably some kind of popular senator or corrupt (but benevolent) ruler of an outer rim haven. not a main player but important enough.

charles leclerc — he reminds me of a young ahsoka, almost? very idealistic and rigid in his belief of rules and order. it’s yet to be seen if he’ll follow a similar path to her and throw off the association (ferrari = jedi order, ig ????) of those who trained him, which i think he may need to reach his full destiny. alternatively: bo-katan.

carlos sainz — he reminds me of a mandalorian, maybe din djarin but much more affable and less serious. he is very oriented to a sense of belonging and family, but he is still searching for his own. also, not force-sensitive but he can still get shit done if that makes sense. his father passed his armor down to him and he is doing his best to live up to his reputation.

lewis hamilton — soooooo obi-wan kenobi it hurts. more fast & loose with his temper and rationale when he was younger, more refined & respected as he’s aged; accepting of his faults with age, and understands his greater purpose, too. he just oozes jedi that is disillusioned with his training and is questioning (and has been questioning) the system that raised him. what he does know are his own abilities and he trusts himself in those. in terms of eras, mclaren = TPM, mercedes = the clone wars, ferrari = ROTS and beyond?

george russell — he is leia!!!! force-adept but not necessarily jedi-trained. also, the sass alone is just very fitting for him. incredible hair. icon4icon.

lando norris — he’s giving luke skywalker on tatooine before he realizes he’s force-sensitive. iykyk. uncle owen just asked him to make a run to most eisley and he's got a hand on one hip, ready to complain.

oscar piastri — after seeing this piece by @unknownaster, i can’t see him as anything other than another anakin or luke towards the end of their padawan training.  he’s on dagobah rn and yoda is taunting him while he carries him around like a fucking backpack. will have to learn to hone his use of the force to work on tire management.

fernando alonso — he’s sith and there’s no doubting that. actually, scratch that: he’s mandalorian. (ig spaniards are just mandalorians ??) a lot of personal tragedy (read: terrible, terrible career decisions) and his loyalty is not easily won.  ig that makes flavio his equivalent of the armorer or clan leader ??? something like that ??? he lives a fairly solitary life and he's okay with that.

lance stroll — he has padme vibes but there’s someone else i’m reserving that for. similar origins, i think, but with less heroics and less concern for grander politics of the galaxy.  he enjoys a lush life as royalty of some verdant mid-rim planet where not much is expected from him other than don’t fuck shit up and be pretty (honestly jealous of this ngl). this piece by @penaltyboxboxbox is an obvious inspo for me <3

nico hulkenberg + kevin magnussen — bounty hunters alllllll the way.  not mandalorian, but bounty hunters. they’re tired, trying to bring home the bacon, and caring family men at home. probably neighbors who bicker over their moisture farming on the side but let the other borrow some blue milk here or there.

daniel ricciardo — han solo but TFA!han solo. his glory days are behind him but he’s still got a few tricks up his sleeve here and there. beloved but probably problematic.

yuki tsunoda — for his sake, i’m just going to say he’s the owner or head chef of a galaxy-renowned restaurant in the upper levels of coruscant. fiery and verbose temper but he loves his patrons and employees fiercely. if he can't own a restaurant in this life, then you can be damn sure he'll own one in a fictional one.

alex albon — this C3PO ass motherfucker. sassy, funny, generally beloved. he would HAVE to be a sassy droid, it just makes the most sense. lily is obviously his master.

logan sergeant — resistance or new republic x-wing pilot. skilled pilot but struggles at times. earnest and craves approval. trying to prove himself the best he can, but worries he’s let one too many smugglers slip past his watch. still, he has lots of options in the galaxy, and if the x-wing gig doesn’t work out, he can probably get another flying job in the outer rim.

pierre gasly — he really gives lando calrissian. the flair, the attempt at fashion…the horniness. it all checks out.

esteban ocon — he is most definitely rey. scrapping and scavenging since the beginning for a spot in the sport pairs well with our scavenger rey. idk if he’d have the same force sensitivities (i think that’s reserved for a very select group of drivers tbqh), but his persistence is impressive nonetheless.

valtteri bottas — moisture farmer just trying to mind his own business. was a rebel alliance fighter but has now retired to some desert planet where he can live out the rest of his life in peace and away from the commotion of his youth.

zhou guanyu — like checo, probably a senator of a wealthy family from a mid-rim planet who’s well-respected but frequently flies under the radar. key negotiator, fashion trendsetter.

and some fun extra ones!

nico rosberg — HE IS PADME AMIDALA AND I WILL NOT BE TAKING QUESTIONS. NEXT.

jenson button — he’s a young han solo.  not force-sensitive, but skilled and hapless enough that he could peel one off those with more gifts than he. scrappy, sassy, and slutty lmao. i would like to put him in carbonite and hang him on my wall pls n thx <3

sebastian vettel — qui-gon jinn the house downnnn. flouts expectations and tradition of the jedi order but still has a core that is pure and good. (plus, isn’t the lore that qui-gon was an early adopter of the force ghost? i feel like seeing seb in the paddock is like seeing a fuckin’ force ghost, y’know?) also feels right given the max = anakin choice.

helmut marko — palpatine.

chr*stian h*rner — also palpatine. maybe darth vader? idk, i feel like that’s giving him too much credit.

adrian newey — thrawn. smarter & better than the previous two. morally ambiguous to anything that doesn’t suit and serve him.

toto wolff — grand moff tarkin. smart and cunning at times, but hubris is his downfall.

zak brown — owner of a shady ass casino/tavern/saloon in the outer rim. do not trust him as far as you can throw him.

obviously pls feel free to talk to me about this, b/c i love f1 & i love sw. let me know what you think !! 🤍

[noxexistant]

ai-less whumptober; day four

@ailesswhumptober 4 — painful transformation, non-consensual body modifications, “You’re a monster.” ↳ the refuge, circa 1895 word count; 1.7k

cw; torture, branding, vomiting

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Snyder makes a lot of threats.

He's an angry guy. A fucking violent one. And he loves telling Oscar — and Morris, usually at the same time — exactly what the consequences for their actions will be this time. Or the next time. Whether their crime is another fight or stolen food or just Snyder himself waking up on the wrong side of the ceiling he presumably sleeps hanging upside-down from. He'll lean close and speak in a whisper that Oscar's gonna be spending the next two weeks in solitary with his ankle bound to the far wall, or holler at Morris that he's going to cane him bloody. And he's a real creative guy, too. Comes up with nigh absurd-sounding punishments to threaten, things to hiss in their ears or calmly state over his desk or promise will happen in the future if they don't straighten out, and those are usually the stupidest ones. He's threatened to keep Morris here forever, threatened to have Oscar sent out to a working prison, threatened to have them both marked so that everybody will always know that they're his, no matter how much time passes, no matter what happens - he made them. Their debt is to him.

Oscar should've known he'd never say anything he didn't mean. Should've known that there's nothing Snyder doesn't have the capacity to do.

He doesn't know exactly what he did to earn it on this particular day. Maybe it's just something Snyder decided on. But regardless, he's plucked from the bunk room on what seems to be an otherwise normal day in Hell, and brought into Snyder's office by a guard gripping his bicep hard.

Snyder's stood, rather than sat at his desk, and that's Oscar's first clue that something is wrong. Snyder likes to sit. He likes to meet his guests sat behind his masive desk of rich wood, leaned back in his fine leather chair. A reminder that they're on different levels, different sides of the world.

But today he's stood, tailbone leaned casually against the edge of his desk, one ankle crossed over the other. His jacket is off, leaving him in just his vest and shirt and tie, pressed sleeves rolled neatly to his elbows, bound there with silver garters. He's watching someone — one of the guards, Oscar recognises — stood at the lit fireplace at the side of the room. Oscar fights to lean to see what the man is doingm, and sees him leaned over the crackling flames, holding the end of a long metal rod within the mouth of the flames.

Oscar was raised on a farm. He recognises the branding iron immediately.

He assumes it's an empty threat.

"I didn't do anythin'," he says first of all, and Snyder's eyes turn to him in some show of only just realising he's there.

"Oscar," he says pleasantly. "Just the man I wanted to see."

"I didn't do anythin'," Oscar repeats. "I been good, ain't even fought this week, I been lookin' after Mo."

Snyder ignores him.

"You've recognised the tool. I should've known you'd catch on quickly. You're a farm boy, after all. A true Texas rancher." Oscar hates his fucking face, so smug, always enjoying it. "In which case, perhaps you can tell me —."

He pushes himself upright from leaning on his desk, and takes a few leisurely steps away from it, towards Oscar, arms clasped at his back, spine straight. He's tall. Oscar can see the strength in his arms now that they're bared like this, though he knows Snyder's strength intimately regardless, and as Snyder gets closer to him, his view of everything else in the room is blocked out by Snyder's broad shoulders. Pale eyes washed dark and cold in shadow as he leans in to ask his question, like some bastardisation of a schoolteacher.

"Why do farmers brand their livestock, Oscar?"

Oscar knows, of course. He doesn't want to say it.

The ensuing hit across his face as a result doesn't come as much of a surprise.

"I asked you a question, Oscar."

There's something primal is awakening in Oscar. That sort of dawning fear, the awful churning anxiety of something inevitable and crawling closer. The urge to run, like that could help him — as if he'd get any further than the door to Snyder's office, and even if he did, where could he go from there?

"Oscar."

"'S ownership," he croaks. The simmering anger in Snyder settles from a rolling boil, satisfied by the answer. He gives Oscar an expectant look to keep going, and Oscar does. "I. They do it so they know what's theirs. Their cows an'—an stuff. So they can be returned. If they get mixed up. Even if they get stolen."

Da had had a few of his cows stolen, once. Oscar still remembers the rage that had come afterwards, even though he'd been young at the time. He remembers Da and Ma screaming at each other about it, all the money that'd been lost, money that they never could've afforded to lose, but especially not then.

He remembers being enlisted to help brand the cattle after that — a job he'd hated, but it was easier work than a lot of it, so he'd never complained. Even when Morris cried about the animals being hurt, about Oscar hurting them. Begged to know if there were alternatives, and Da had told him that there weren't.

You wanna keep 'em, Da had said, You gotta mark 'em proper. An' it don't half help to make 'em scared a' you too.

"So you understand," Snyder says. Oscar wishes he didn't.

"It isn't just ownership," Snyder continues. He walks slowly over to the fireplace and tilts his head consideringly at the work the guard is devotedly continuing with, turning the iron slowly in the dancing flame. The light reflects in Snyder's pale eyes. "I'm not as arrogant a man as you think me, Oscar, as much as I like to be credited for my work."

And all of a sudden he's looking at Oscar again.

"It's a warning. To the cops that'll pick you up just a few short years from now, every time you inevitably find trouble in your adulthood. And to any woman who might be foolish enough to love you in that same future. You'll crawl into bed with her and bare your skin and she'll be able to see, scarred into your very body, that you are worth nothing. Never have been, and never will be. Not to anyone but me, at least."

"You're sick," Oscar tells him, real quiet. "You're a monster."

Snyder smiles.

He gives an order then, just a single word, and in an instant there's hands seizing Oscar — the same instant in which his descending panic reaches untold heights. His worn shirt is wrenched unhesitatingly from his back and tossed, and though Snyder's office is the only room in the building with heating — currently has a lit fireplace — it feels intolerably cold.

Maybe it's just the knowledge of what's coming.

"I did say it wasn't ownership," Snyder muses, and when Oscar's gaze manages to find him again through the sudden descendence of utter terror that's bound his lungs, he realises with another wave of it that Snyder is holding the iron now, its end glowing red like his Ma's visions of the devil. Oscar can't make out what it says, but he sees a shape on the end, curved into ornate shape. "But I'm sure you understand my choosing to use my own initials, rather than something more pedestrian. An R for Refuge just seems so impersonal." He turns the rod in his hand, lifting his chin slightly to examine the symbol carefully with a creased brow, straightening it. An S, Oscar guesses? A.S.?

"And. I'd rather have you marked for me."

"Please," Oscar wheezes. The hands on him get tighter. All in a moment they're pulling his arms hard in front of him to expose his bare back, and he realises he's shaking, writhing instinctively, but he can't get away, can hardly move.

"Hold him still," Snyder orders. Then, to Oscar, "Stay still. If the scar smears, we'll just have to try again."

It's an indescribable sort of pain.

It doesn't set in at first. Oscar feels the pressure of the iron being pressed to the back of his hip, and for a moment feels only that.

And then he feels a wave of burning so vicious it blinds him instantly. It spreads all over him immediately, a white-hot agony that has his eyes rolling back in his skull, mouth opening in a silent scream. It rolls over every inch of his skin, lights his back up like he'd been lay in it, like he's been thrown into a pool of it to drown. His back arches instinctively, trying desperately to get away from the iron, but there's nowhere to go. The iron follows him anyway, pressed firmly, held there hard where his skin is blistering, melting, burning away beneath the shape of it. Snyder's intials.

He doesn't know when he starts screaming. He only notices when he's forced to stop, lungs empty and throat raw, drool pouring down his chin, tears pouring down his cheeks. He gags — and then the iron is finally, finally pulled away, and he feels his melted skin pull too, stuck to it the way he remembers meat sticking to the plate of the lit stove — and he heaves, sobbing. There's nothing in his stomach to vomit, but he retches until bile spills onto the hardwood. Until his knees buckle and he collapses, head down, back bowed and rolling in wave after wave of searing pain, an agony he's sure is neverending, an agony he's sure death is preferable to. He prays, but it doesn't come. He wails like a child.

Above him, the iron is handed calmly back to the guard, and it hisses for a moment as it's thrust into the flame again. Oscar's ears are ringing, blood rushing through them, head hazy, but he hears what Snyder says next.

"Fetch Morris now."

[vestaclinicpod]

Audio Drama Sunday - 12th November ✨

I’ve LOVED everything that’s touched my ears this week. Going to start this round up with a brand new instant favourite 🧡

🧳 Travelling Light (1) we all knew that whatever @monstrousproductions ’s next venture was, it would be bloody brilliant but Travelling Light is so far up my street, it’s parked in my drive. I LOVE wholesome sci-fi and this show promises to be that and more. I can’t wait for the next episode! 🥰


👁️ @malevolentcast (37) we’re on a farm! and it’s bloody horrible!!! Poor Oscar, man. If God did bring him to Arthur then God has a funny little sense of humour.

🌒 @monkeymanproductions I finally found time to listen to the Jaxon bonus episode and it was so lovely 🥺 I love the pair of them so much and it was so nice learn more about the past while hearing their plans for the future! I also can’t wait to hear the next one!!

🏛 @the-mistholme-museum UNCERTAIN. Unlike the head of retrieval, I am a big fan of time travel shit and it was done in such a fun way in this episode. The security issue has become even more of a mystery!! Part of me can’t wait to get to the bottom of it and part of me doesn’t want the show to end 😅

🧛‍♂️ @re-dracula It’s over!! I never would have made it through the dailies without this wonderful audio experience. A huge congrats to the cast and crew for all their hard work!!

🐬 @patterspod I listened to the glow while cycling into work yesterday and it was great but it sure set me up in a strange mood for the day ahead

🌨️ HELL YEAH @thewhitevault (2). Let’s explore how humans contribute to the horrors. This whole situation in the woods is horrifying and one of my absolute favourite things about this show is how natural the acting is, it’s all too believable and it makes it so much scarier.

Hope everyone has had a good week!! I’m planning on trying to finish Wolf 359 next week… I don’t know if I’m emotionally ready!!

[howlingday]

Embezzled

Jaune: Okay. Is everyone here? ...Good. It's time we talk about the elephant in the room.

Ruby: ...E-Elephant?

Jaune: Blake? Could you tell everyone what's going on?

Blake: Thank you, Jaune. It has come to our attention that one of us is committing larceny.

Nora: (Gasps) LARCENY?! OH NO! NOT LARCENY!

Nora: ...What's larceny?

Blake: ...It means someone has been stealing all of our money. It's gotten so bad, we can afford to match Ren's dialogue to ours.

REN: GUYS. PLEASE HELP ME. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY DIALOGUE.

Ruby: O-Oh my god...

Yang: Alright. So we're broke. Now there's only one question we have left.

Yang: (Smashes fist on table) WHO THE HELL IS TAKING ALL OF OUR MONEY?!

Weiss: ...W-Why is everyone looking at me?! I'm a victim in this, too!

Pyrrha: Well, yes, but you're also the only one of us who has more lien than all of us combined.

Oscar: H-Hang on, let's not jump to conclusions. I mean, who's to say that Weiss still has her money after cutting ties with her family.

Weiss: Yeah! What the peasant said!

Oscar: Yeah, what the- ...Oh, you son of a-

Ruby: (Holding Oscar's mouth shut)

Jaune: Well, if it wasn't Weiss, then who else would be irresponsible enough to spend that amount of cash?

Nora: ...W-Why are you looking at me?!

Blake: In your defense, Nora, we're not assuming you'd use our money maliciously, or even on purpose. We'd understand since you're not exactly the brightest here.

Nora: (Gasps) Oh, you wanna talk about bright?! Okay, then how about how ironic that you say that when you spend all your time inside and spending all your lien on gacha games! Maybe you should take that lien and buy some mouthwash, Mist Cat-Breath!

Blake: ...It's Miss, not Mist, actually. Besides, at least I have screen time. Nobody even likes you!

Nora: What?! What does that mean?!

Ruby: Guys, don't fight! And besides, don't act so high and mighty, Nora! Most of your fans either write you as an actual cat, or as a covert racist who's into raceplay!

Blake: Oh, fuck off!

Jaune: Alright, alright. Enough about who's the worst girl of both teams. Can we get back to the fact that we have no money?

Yang: Yeah, sure. Let's how about we just make the money back by working some extra jobs between missions? Weiss getting some amount of lien from her folks and me winning games at the bar, it just isn't enough to support all of us.

Weiss: What about Pyrrha? I'm sure you have some model contracts left in you.

Pyrrha: I could, but modeling always felt so... off with the people who work there?

Nora: Then just go private, like those girls on OnlyHunters.

Pyrrha: NORA?! WHAT THE HELL?! DISGUSTING!

Nora: What?

Jaune: Nora, do you know what OnlyHunters does?

Nora: I... know that most models end up doing it.

Weiss: You're... not completely wrong. But I think it would be better for you to look it up instead of us telling you.

Nora: I mean, I don't know what was wrong with what I suggested, but okay.

Yang: Oof... I do not envy you.

Nora: ...OH MY GOD! (Runs to bathroom)

Jaune: And we lost her.

Ruby: Okay! It's time for me to step up as a leader! Blake, go work at the video game store.

Blake: Aren't video games a dying industry?

Ruby: ...Be that as it may, they work in cash and people barely go in these days, so it's a win-win for you! And... maybe you could take Nora's advice and buy some mouthwash?

Blake: ...Really? You're really commenting on my lack of hygiene and abusing my introversion? You really are the best leader, Ruby. ...But if it means bringing in lien, then I don't have much choice, do I?

Ruby: Okay! Yang, Jaune, and Oscar, you three go find a farm and work together on it for a while! With our two strongest members and someone with the expertise of working on a farm, I'm sure we'll get more lien than we know what to do with!

Yang: Makes sense to me!

Jaune: That sounds like a good idea.

Oscar: Okay, but I'll need to get some stuff from around here first. You two go on ahead.

Ruby: That's fine. Nora!

Nora: (Groans)

Ruby: Uh... When you're done in there, why don't you help Oscar, Yang, and Jaune.

Nora: ...Okay.

Ruby: ...Okay then. Everyone else, let's get out there and get some jobs! TEAM RWBY AND JNPOR!

WBYP: (Leave)

Jaune: (Walking out) You know, I can't help but feel like we forgot about the reason for why we're getting these jobs. (Leaves)

Oscar: ...You are such a bitch for not telling them how you basically embezzled them all out of their money.

Ruby: Sh-Shut up! It was for a good cause!

Oscar: Buying Overlook 2 skins is not a "good cause".

REN: YOU WHAT.

Ruby: R-Ren! You're still here?!

REN: YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT THE REASON MY DIALOGUE IS GONE AND I CAN'T TALK NORMAL ANYMORE IS BECAUSE YOU BOUGHT VIDEO GAME SKINS.

Ruby: N-Now Ren... Let's not do anything rash here...

REN: TOO LATE. THEY ALREADY KNOW.

Ruby: ...Fuck.

[sgiandubh]

A brave speech from director Jonathan Glazer

After winning the Oscar

I respect these brave stances

I was saddened by Sam's retreat from his position of supporting the people of Gaza.

Dear Saddened Anon,

This blog does not cover anything political, because I think we all have more than enough on our national plates, especially during this extraordinary super global election year. Also, because as a diplomat I learned to refrain from expressing any contentious views (it's the opposite of our work). And finally because, dealing with politics every single working day (a paradox, isn't it?), this is my oasis space and I design it as I see fit.

For those who want/need context, this is BBC's short coverage of the statements referenced by our Anon guest: https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-68531229

The difference between Glazer and S is almost self-evident. Glazer is a proud Reformed (Liberal)/Secular Jew, S is a kind hearted (but completely clueless) person, whose precise religious affiliation is not clear (probably Protestant, if you ask me). Religious affiliation is, by the way, totally irrelevant, in his case, since he clearly does not define himself as such, and I would bet the farm that with These Two it's more about spirituality, than denomination. Regarding Glazer, he is also Ashkenazi, which means that he hails from the group most affected by the Holocaust - it is meaningful to him (as for all of our Israelite sisters and brothers AND all of us), but it is also something very personal to him. S just followed the trend (and C - of this, I am sure) and found himself embroiled in a terrible predicament, for not having properly checked and vetted that letter's message and the organization from where the letter/petition originated.

Was it a mistake? Hell, yes. Will I detest this person because of that mistake? Hell, no.

This is a highly sensitive issue, that brought some strife and discontent, including on this page. I will never blame someone who publicly acknowledges his limits, as S did, Anon. And I think that the people who can legitimately address the topic did and do and will always do that. As it should be.

This map is the starting point of the tragedy and I confess *urv's pretense of addressing geopolitics brought a bitterly sarcastic smirk:

[source: https://www.gov.il/BlobFolder/generalpage/the-balfour-declaration-map/en/English_HISTORY_MAPS_Balfour-Declaration-1920.jpg']

The year was 1919.

[takeiteasyonmeimstilllearning]

hot take on a real life Jigen

I know that Monkey punch modeled Jigen on James Coburn, but hear me out. Robert Mitchum is Jigens spirit animal.

1stly, voice. They have the same timber. (Idk what else to call it) I would definitely say epcar and Mitchum are in the same category. Kobayashi is similar too but he is more animated, going into falsetto and such. I also think if jigen sang he would be baritone and talk-sing his way through lyrics.

2ndly, Mitchum's grumpy old man vibe just radiate Jigen imo.

Mitchum quotes:

They got so they wanted me to take some of my clothes off in the pictures. I objected to this, so I put on some weight and looked like a Bulgarian wrestler when I took my shirt off.

The only difference between me and my fellow actors is that I've spent more time in jail.

I gave up being serious about making pictures around the time I made a film with Greer Garson and she took a hundred and twenty-five takes to say no.

[on his acting talents] Listen. I got three expressions: looking left, looking right and looking straight ahead.

People think I have an interesting walk. Hell, I'm just trying to hold my gut in.

When I drop dead and they rush to the drawer, there's going to be nothing in it but a note saying 'later'.

I never take any notice of reviews - unless a critic has thought up some new way of describing me. That old one about my lizard eyes and anteater nose and the way I sleep my way through pictures is so hackneyed now.

Years ago, I saved up a million dollars from acting, a lot of money in those days, and I spent it all on a horse farm in Tucson. Now when I go down there, I look at that place and I realize my whole acting career adds up to a million dollars worth of horse shit.

I never changed anything, except my socks and my underwear. And I never did anything to glorify myself or improve my lot. I took what came and did the best I could with it.

[asked what jail was like] It's like Palm Springs without the riff-raff.

John Wayne had four-inch lifts in his shoes. He had the overheads on his boat accommodated to fit him. He had a special roof put in his station wagon. The son-of-a-bitch, they probably buried him in his goddamn lifts.

There just isn't any pleasing some people. The trick is to stop trying.

Sure I was glad to see John Wayne win the Oscar. I'm always glad to see the fat lady win the Cadillac on television, too.

I kept the same suit for six years - and the same dialog. We just changed the title of the picture and the leading lady.

[asked why he took on an 18-hour mini-series] It promised a year of free lunches.

How do I keep fit? I lay down a lot.

[1969] How the hell did I get into this picture anyway? I kept reading in the papers that I was going to do it, but when they sent me the script I just tossed it on the heap with the rest of them. But somehow, one Monday morning, here I was. How the hell do these things happen to a man?

[1948] I'm a natural hermit. I've been in constant motion of escape all my life. I never really found the right corner to hide in.

[1968] The Rin Tin Tin method is good enough for me. That dog never worried about motivation or concepts and all that junk.

[on working with Faye Dunaway] When I got here I walked in thinking I was a star and then I found I was supposed to do everything the way she says. Listen, I'm not going to take any temperamental whims from anyone, I just take a long walk and cool off. If I didn't do that, I know I'd wind up dumping her on her derrière.

[asked what he looks for in a script before accepting a job] Days off.

[on Jane Russell] Miss Russell was a very strong character. Very good-humored when she wasn't being cranky.

They think I don't know my lines. That's not true. I'm just too drunk to say 'em.

Look me dead in the eye and Tell me this isn't jigen

[lucky-3833]

Easiest way to obliterate Whitley and Oscars masculinity? Horse Faunus men. Horse cock would turn those two into the dumbest fuck bois in seconds. Farm boy and rich boy to femboi in moments.

Hell yeah!

----

Once they'd arrived in Vacuo, Oscar and Whitley had plenty of downtime to spend together. Times when Ozpin would retreat completely, letting Oscar live his own life without the ghost of an immortal hiding in his mind. The two of them would wander, chatting about nothing in particular-

And then, one day, a trio of burly faunus men whistled rudely at them as they walked by.

Whitley, even if he'd grown less stuck up since his reality check during the fall of Atlas, was still quite the haughty boy. He stormed right over, pointed his finger at them, and opened his mouth to start chewing them out-

And the horse faunus in front interrupted him by just shoving two fingers between his lips. "Shut your cock-hole and lube these up for me." The beefy man grunted. "You'll need it for what's coming next."

-----

"Oh god oh fuck please it hurts oh-!"

Whitley's gasps were reduced to a wordless shriek as a massive hand slapped his ass hard enough to shove his whole body forward and slam his face into the dirt.

"Hear that, boys?" The faunus laughed. "Apparently it hurts!" He grabbed Whitley's hips and slammed his horsecock into the boi's ass down to the hilt, then reached beneath him to flick the white-haired twink's slender cock with one massive finger. The finger was bigger than Whitley's dick all by itself, and his rock hard little pecker ended up squirted all over the ground from the abuse. The faunus just laughed louder. "Coulda fooled me, bitch boy!"

Oscar wasn't paying attention. He had his own problems to deal with, after all.

The other two had decided to see if they could both fit down his throat, painting his tongue with precum in between attempts to make him stretch and fit two massive horsecocks at once. He'd already cum into his shorts, pitching a shameful tent into the wet spot as the scent of thick faunus dick filled his nose. One of his assailants just grunted, lining up another thrust. "Fuck it. I just say we go full force. Either we'll fit or he breaks."

"Works for me." The other one shrugged.

As it turned out, both were true. Two fat faunus dicks buried themselves into Oscar's stomach, and his mind shattered into a million tiny pieces. When they started using his neck like an onahole, all he could do was whimper and squirt more of his thin seed into his clothes, reaching up with trembling hands to clutch their fat nuts.

A single one of their balls was heavier than his entire package. Just more evidence that this was the natural, proper way for things to be.

Whitley only held out slightly longer than Oscar, in the end. That thick horsecock slamming up into his guts, delivering hammerblows to his prostate, broke him just as thoroughly.

"Daddy, daddy, fuck me, daddy~!" He shrieked, wasting his Schnee seed in the dirt as his belly bloated with faunus cum.

"That's right, that's what I was fuckin' looking for." The faunus man grunted. "You want me to keep fucking you, right?"

"Yes daddy! Don't stop!" Whitley squealed.

"So you'll gimme all that Schnee money you're still holding onto, right?" The faunus grunted.

"I-I c-can't..." Whitley whined. "M-my mom is in charge of the-"

He was cut off by another vicious slap to his ass, the bright red handprint glowing right beside the first. "YES!" He shrieked. "I'll steal the account, just don't stop!"

"That's what I like to hear." Without any need to hear Whitley talking anymore, he just shoved the bitch-boy's face into the dirt again, right into the puddle of cum the boi had squirted out.

The two should have known better than to go out without anyone big and strong to protect them...but right now? They were happy their old lives were over. Their new lives would be so much better. No more lying to themselves about dignity and grand purposes. They were just cute little holes to fuck and humiliate from now on...

[leclerc-s]

fruitcake

series masterlist

NOVEMBER 8, 2023

liked by isabellaperez, penelopetrevino, pierregasly and others

maejonesverstappen made smthn special for you guys for the holidays 🤍 ‘fruitcake’ out 11/17!

view all comments

isabellaperez will there be new songs i can traumatize jos with?

maxjonesverstappen1 i can’t believe it’s right before winter break…

↳ isabellaperez CHRISTMAS MUSIC IS ALL YEAR LONG YOU GRINCH!

danieljonesricciardo i am worried.

↳ daphnejonesricciardo i am also worried

estebanocon i still can't look max in the eyes. do not traumatize me again.

user83 CHRISTMAS EP! YES!

user10 watching these guys panic that mae is going to pull another nonsense/a nonsense christmas on them is so fucking funny to me.

user72 any christmas song by the jones sisters is a certified chrismash.

↳ user02 real. i listen to christmas tree farm everyday after thanksgiving

↳ user41 who gives a fuck about thanksgiving?

↳ user02 I DO! IT'S A HOLIDAY TOO! PEOPLE LOVE TO FORGET ABOUT IT.

↳ user41 not everyone lives in the states.

↳ user02 i meant in the states.

landonorris i beg. please do not traumatize us further.

↳ maejonesverstappen no promises 😊

↳ arthur_leclerc think of the children! like olliebearman

↳ olliebearman okay that's rude. i am not a child!

↳ maxjonesverstappen1 you couldn't even drink in vegas. you are a child!

george russell please tell me we are safe from another nonsense christmas.

mae jones-verstappen maybe. maybe not.

esteban ocon i don't think i can take another one.

lewis hamilton i know i can't take another one. i will leave the group chat for real if it happens again.

mae jones-verstappen when i do it's a problem but when penny released mayores no one had a problem.

penelope trevino that was back in 2017! and i didn't know anyone but carlos! let it go! and i also wasn't dating anyone at the time.

carlos sainz that's not true. you were with what's his face. the one who cheated? penelope trevino we don't talk about that dickhead.

natalia ruiz is that the guy carlos said he was glad cheated on you?

daphne jones-ricciardo what?

lando norris dad said what to mom?

penelope trevino in his defense, we hated each other then. when he got cheated on, i told him he deserved it.

isabella perez how the hell are you two even together if you hated each other?

penelope trevino same reason you're with oscar. he taught me how to love again. dulce perez huh. that's cute. when's the wedding?

natalia ruiz i bet carlos and penelope are going to end up married before me.

alex albon she's practically screaming at charles to propose already.

natalia ruiz he's too naïve to get the hint.

logan sargeant have some faith in him nat. maybe he's just scared?

NOVEMBER 17, 2023

liked by maxjonesverstappen1, baileywinters, dulceperez and others

maejonesverstappen fruitcake is officially out now ♡ just sayin i never seen santa klaus and mae jones-verstappen in the same room

view all comments

rowantodd someone's watching too much vampire diaries again.

↳ maejonesverstappen THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH VAMPIRE DIARIES!

↳ maxjonesverstappen she's forcing me to have a marathon.

↳ maejonesverstappen boy the couch surely looks comfortable for you tonight.

↳ maxjonesverstappen i meant, yay, we're having a vampire diaries marathon!

↳ maejonesverstappen that's better 😊

user53 came into this expecting a cindy lou who to be a happy song. HOW COULD I BE SO WRONG?

user20 this is officially my go to christmas album

pierregasly THIS IS A GOOD DAY! NO DICK REFERENCES ABOUT MAX!

↳ alex_albon WAR IS OVER! I REPEAT WAR IS OVER!

georgerussel63 i can sleep peacefully now!

↳ isabellaperez i know you ass isn't talking, i caught you singing a nonsense christmas the other day.

↳ georgerussell63 yes, but i tend to block out that the song is about max

danieljonesricciardo oh thank god. no more dick jokes.

↳ maejonesverstappen you guys are just haters. you all enjoyed the song before you knew who it was about.

↳ estebanocon it's a good song yes. but it's about max. i did not need to know those things about your life.

↳ maejonesverstappen it would be a shame if there were a christmas nonsense mv.

↳ pierregasly is that just an excuse to leak your sex tape?

↳ maejonesverstappen wouldn't you just love to see that? (it doesn't exist btw)

↳ user47 nah, that's unhinged mae.

isabella perez max blink twice if you need help

max jones-verstappen i am fine. i do not need help. i love the vampire diaries. mae jones-verstappen he's fine. he's being dramatic.

max jones-verstappen THE SHOW IS UNREALISTIC! HOW AM I MEANT TO WATCH IT?

daniel jones-ricciardo it's a show about vampires max, it's not supposed to be realistic!

isabella perez hey, does giuseppe salvatore remind anyone of someone?

natalia ruiz eh, i see him more as a john winchester. max jones-verstappen who the hell are you two talking about? isabella perez NO ONE! natalia ruiz NO ONE!

daniel jones-ricciardo i hate that i understand exactly what they're talking about.

charles leclerc what does it mean?

isabella perez sorry charlie, if you know you know. arthur leclerc unfortunately i understand this

mae jones-verstappen YOU PEOPLE WILL APPRECIATE THE VAMPIRE DIARIES UNIVERSE AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!

penelope trevino they're talking about supernatural mae, not tvd.

mae jones-verstappen i know but i'm making a point here penelope.

mae jones-verstappen i have to go, i have a needy 14 year-old demanding attention.

max jones-verstappen he's doing this shit on purpose. he's stealing my wife's attention from me.

charles leclerc this is what you get for allowing him to live with you until the new year.

max jones-verstappen mama jones deserved a break from the demon. she is living her best life on vacation right now daniel jones-ricciardo she deserve it after raising two wonderful daughters, a demon spawn, and surviving through a divorce.

natalia ruiz stan momma jones and pascale leclerc.

isabella perez AND MY MAMI AND SOPHIE! zoya torres AND NAT! MOTHER IS MOTHERING EVERYONE!

oscar piastri correct me if i'm wrong but isn't rhys doing press for his show soon?

max jones-verstappen he is but that doesn't mean i'm enjoying having him around for the time being.

daniel jones-ricciardo he says that now but he literally bought the kid so many christmas presents max jones-verstappen he's growing on me, sort of like mold.

daphne jones-ricciardo i'm telling him you said that.

max jones-verstappen DON'T YOU DARE DAPHNE!

DECEMBER 7, 2023

liked by maxjonesverstappen1, daphnejonesricciardo, charles_leclerc and others

maejonesverstappen santa doesn't know you like i do music video featuring a very special guest. go watch it to find out!

view all comments

charles_leclerc i better not be watching the video just to see max's face.

↳ charles_leclerc i spoke too soon.

user61 THIS WHOLE VIDEO WAS SO FUCKING CUTE?? THEY ARE THE IT COUPLE OF RED BULL!

↳ maejonesverstappen unfortunately that title belongs to geri and salty spice, but thank you for that!

↳ user61 OH MY GOD!

rowantodd wish my relationship was as cute as this video

↳ pierregasly do i mean nothing to you? i'm trying!

↳ user01 PICK UP THE SLACK TRIPOD!

isabellaperez you win this time jones-verstappen but i will find something new to terrorize jos with trust me.

↳ rhysjones you looking for a partner?

↳ isabellaperez LET'S GO! WELCOME TO THE TERRORIZE JOS CLUB BABY JONES!

↳ maxjonesverstappen oh no. this is why i randomly shivered.

↳ danieljonesricciardo oh no. the world is about to end.

↳ user52 the one thing they didn't want happening happened. i pray for them.

user95 stop this video is so cute. me and who when?

user80 this video just called me single in about 100 different ways.

penelopetrevino this is so cute, pick up the slack carlos.

↳ carlossainz55 is it your job to make us look bad maxjverstappen1?

↳ maxjonesverstappen i am the superior s/o and i have to prove it.

↳ danieljonesricciardo back the fuck up that role belongs to me jones-verstappen. i was here first.

↳ maxjonesverstappen you wouldn't even know your wife if it weren't for me meeting mae.

↳ danieljonesricciardo you don't know that! i'm still superior.

↳ rhysjones you both suck. fernandoalo_oficial would've been a better brother-in-law.

↳ maxjonesverstappen wow, you're the worst.

↳ danieljonesricciardo i'm hurt little stink.

natalia ruiz wow. i wish i was married or engaged.

george russell she's screaming again charles!

isabella perez WHY HAVE I BEEN KEPT AWAY FROM BABY JONES?!

daphne jones-ricciardo for the fact that you and rhys cannot be trusted to be left alone for more than 2 minutes.

mae jones-verstappen because you're both idiots who cannot be left alone.

max jones-verstappen I AM NOT AN IDIOT MAE! AND TELL YOUR HUSBAND TO STOP GLARING AT ME!

mae jones-verstappen YOU STOLE HIS PHONE?

max jones-verstappen added one person

rhys jones I GAVE IT BACK!

rhys jones i get why they call him mad max now.

ollie bearman at least i'm not the youngest one here anymore.

rhys jones renamed the group chat to motorsports biggest headaches

rhys jones changed the group chat icon

rhys jones simply because you are the biggest headaches in motorsports

sebastian vettel finally someone who gets it.

rhys jones OH MY GOD! SOMEBODY SEDATE ME!

max jones-verstappen with pleasure. rhys jones SCREW YOU SID! IT'S SEBASTIAN FUCKING VETTEL! max jones-verstappen calm down timon.

fernando alonso how can you be related to him and somehow he's still not your biggest fan?

rhys jones AND THAT'S FERNANDO ALONSO! MISTER, I RELATE TO YOUR WAR CRIMES! I'M A WAR CRIMINAL TOO! daniel jones-ricciardo once again, it's a character you play. rhys jones SHUT UP BIG STINK!

lewis hamilton oh god, this is great.

rhys jones JUSTICE FOR ABU DHABI 2021 SIR HAMILTON! YOU WERE ROBBED! max jones-verstappen you literally congratulated me after i won. rhys jones DETAILS ARE NOT IMPORTANT

george russell i love this kid

daniel jones-ricciardo you won't be saying that in about 20 minutes when he explains every single piece of lore in percy jackson. he's got serious issues.

isabella perez but he is percy jackson. cut him some slack dude.

rhys jones SHE GETS IT!

taglist: @burningcupcakefire @arkhammaid @sunflower-golden-vol6 @applopie @lorarri @mypage-myfandoms @bb-swift @thewannabewriter @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @stopeatread @hobiismyhopeu @lilsiz @alessioayla @niniluvsainz @au-ghosttype @cowboylikemets1989 @justtprachisblog @rmeddar123 @nichmeddar @landonorizzz @unluckyyoshi @Mimolovescookies @brekkers-whore @natcha888 @camdensreg @mycenterfold @dear-fifi @prongsvault @kaa212 @anxxiousaries @julesbabey1 @julesbabey @georgeparisole @Smnthnclj

strikethrough means i couldn't tag you

¡leclerc-s speaks! love that these guys are scared of mae pulling another nonsense christmas on them. my attempt at covering the actor (i don't know his name) from the santa doesn't know you like do music video is atrocious but it's the thought that count. we need to use our imagination for the sake of the plot. rhys is my precious little baby and i will do anything to protect him.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[i-didnt-do-1t]

cw: violence

Morris wasn’t afraid.

He had been repeating that phrase to himself for as long as he could remember. At some point it had to become true, and if it didn’t then he would continue to do what he had done the rest of his life and ignore it and make himself the threat.

Morris wasn’t afraid of Oscar.

But when he got like this, silent, and slamming doors and grinding his jaw so hard that Morris could almost hear his teeth against eachother, he wondered what it would take for that to be turned on him instead.

Oscar held his anger the same way their father had, in the tense line of his shoulders and flexing hands and flared nostrils. (This was all their da had ever given them.)

It didn’t take long for their da’s anger to turn on him, the myriad of scars lining his back served as enough of a reminder without the familiar crease in Oscar’s forehead.

He wasn’t afraid, but he knew it was best to clear out of the way and let his anger run it’s course except he also knew it was something that never really ran dry.

(He was his da’s son, too.)

It was difficult when they shared a room. Morris liked the door open, Oscar liked it closed.

Tonight, Morris didn’t say anything when Oscar slammed it shut, the echo reverberating around the bare walls and even Weasel didn’t yell in complaint. It must’ve been bad.

Morris watched his face as he roughly grabbed the top of his tie, pulling it off like he would rather be knotting a noose.

Morris knew a lot of things, knew what the flex of his left hand meant, you knew what the twitch of the side of lip meant, knew what his silence meant.

But he didn’t know how to avoid it, how to placate it, because that was never the type of education he got on the farm, or in the refuge. He learnt to bare his teeth and push back harder and to not let them see him flinch because he wasn’t afraid.

But Oscar, when he was like this-

“Stop fucking staring at me.”

“I’m not.”

He pulled off the tie, threw it on his bed, still unmade from earlier that day, a tangle of itchy sheets and a single lumpy pillow.

He glanced at him out of the corner of his eye and Morris was just quick enough to avoid his gaze, fixing his eyes on the roof instead, but he can still feel Oscar’s gaze on him, weighted and piercing.

“What the hell are you holding?”

Fuck. Usually his rosary beads weren’t a problem, tonight they clearly were.

“Three guesses.” He says, and his tongue feels like sandpaper in his mouth.

Oscar scoffs, starts on his buttons, practically pops them rather than undoing them. “You know it’s bullshit right? There’s no all seeing bastard looking down on everyone and if there is he sure as hell don’t give a fuck about us.”

“Yeah you’ve said.”

He thinks, maybe, that the wait is the worst part. That’s what it was with Snyder, this known unknown, in the way that you knew the hit would sting across your cheek because Snyder hit hard and back handed but you never knew when.

Oscar feels like he’s simmering. He feels like that wait between knowing the hit is coming and letting it concuss you.

Morris thinks, maybe, that he wants it to reach boiling point, at least then he can chose to scold his hand in the water.

His wrist is grabbed with too tight, too cold fingers and his rosary beads are untangled from around his knuckles before he even gets the chance to backtrack.

It hits the wall hard.

It scatters across the floor and under his bed and Oscar’s breaths are heaving, measured things. His hand is still clamped around Morris’s wrist and he pulls out of his grip like he’s been burnt and he knows he’s only able to pull away because Oscar let’s him.

Morris is no stranger to anger either, feels it curl in his gut as he eyes one of the single beads that has rolled to a stop next to Oscar’s feet.

“You wanna pray you can go do it with the crip.” Oscar spits.

(Morris is their da’s son, too)

“What? It remind you too much’ve when da forced you to kneel and say the Hail Mary a hundred times over?”

Morris was good at making people angry, Snyder used to say he was like a dog, used to unleash him on other kids to keep them in line. When others hit first it gave him a reason to hit back harder.

But he needs Oscar to boil over because he can’t keep living around this simmering. Can’t keep sharing a room with it. Can’t keep the door closed just to keep Oscar happy because eventually the walls close in so much he finds it difficult to breathe.

The hit that lands is hard and backhanded.

Oscar learnt from the best.

If this wasn’t exactly what he was aiming for Morris would’ve hit back. Would’ve aimed for his lower right rib where some guy managed to hand it to him in a back alley last week before Oscar pulled out his brass knuckles.

“Do you think you’re better than me?” Oscar says and his voice is harsh and rough, and he looks like a mess with the amount of times he’s obviously run his hand through his hair and the top half of his shirt unbuttoned.

Morris brings a hand to his nose and it comes away red.

When he looks up from his fingers, tasting iron in the back of his throat, Oscar’s forehead is creased.

He doesn’t say anything, waits for Oscar’s hand to curl back to his side, teeth grinding again.

This time Oscar looks away first.

The water has stilled again.

Tomorrow night, Morris is going to leave the door open a crack.

(He still feels that curl in his gut and he knows Oscar doesn’t feel bad because their skin was toughed to a leather a long time ago but he hopes at least that his knuckles hurt)

…

If Morris is on his knees tomorrow muttering Hail Marys under his breath as he hunts for the individual beads and shoves them in his pockets then Oscar doesn’t need to know.

[itsclydebitches]

The amount of times RWBY wants us to feel scared for the safety of characters while conveniently forgetting Aura exists is staggering. Neo attacks Ruby with the intent to kill but her Aura is still active. James almost shoots Marrow with the intent to kill but his Aura is still active. Watts hacks an Atlesian Knight to run towards Qrow, Robyn and the Ace Ops with the intent to explode but their Auras are still all active. Sure the attacks would hurt like hell but they're not gonna kill, why should I fear for their safety?

If we're being generous (I'm having a good night lol) I suppose we could read moments like James vs. Marrow as shocking not because it would be a one-shot death sentence, but because he's threatening - in general - to take Marrow down. Sort of the equivalent of an IRL person raising their fists. Is that an immediate threat to the person's life? No. Are you making it clear that you're willing to fight over this while also ambiguously leaving it open how far you're willing to take things? Yeah.

You're right though, too often RWBY relies on average action threats (a pistol, an explosion, etc.) to raise the stakes without taking into account that none of that should be very scary to our protagonists. Not until their aura breaks (and we have no sense of when that will happen, despite them all supposedly carrying Scrolls to tell them. Which I get because if RWBY introduced clear thresholds of when aura breaks they'd have to actually abide by that rule). I feel the same way about characters about to fall: Ruby hanging off the airship with Neo, Ruby hanging off the cliff while fighting Cordovin, Ruby and Oscar both going down in an airship. The very first technique we're shown is a landing strategy, so how is falling from a massive height - even while taking into account other factors like, say, snagging the farm boy who never went to Huntsmen school and might need to use you as a personal parachute - meant to be taken as a serious threat?

In this regard the void of Volume 8 is actually a GREAT idea. Suddenly your landing strategy doesn't mean a thing if you have nowhere to land. Suddenly a single hit can be a threat. Not because the hit itself would seriously hurt you, but because it might knock you off the edge. I actually love the concept of Yang falling at the start of that fight, RWBY just did such a horrific job of executing it that there's nothing left for me to enjoy. Why does Yang panic like that when, as established, a single hit from Neo is not going to kill Ruby, or even seriously hurt her? Why is she jumping in front of her sister at all when the entire POINT (supposedly) of her Volume 3+ arc was to learn fight smarter, rather than relying on emotional impulsivity? (I will seriously never be over how that moment is an exact repeat of Yang trying to save Blake and yet the show doesn't seem to realize that.) Why does only Blake have a reaction to Yang "dying"? Why didn't the whole team of talented fighters with various ranged weaponry/magic/speed make a serious attempt to catch her?

All of this isn't even taking into account how Yang, as someone who powers up via taking hits, should consistently be standing her ground like she did against the mech, knowing her aura will not only save her, but give her an advantage. She's the tank. If Yang had gotten in front of Ruby with a confident, calm expression that conveyed her understanding that Neo can't one-shot her aura like Adam once did, taking the hit both to spare Ruby's aura and power her semblance as a strategic decision (give her a smirk and a taunting line like, "Thanks for the boost" before knocking Neo back), then later falls some other way after her team tries and fails to save her... that would have been so much better imo.

Yang's lack of engagement with her semblance has been especially frustrating for me after her line about how Adam "cheats." If Yang thinks it sucks that she has to take a beating to gain an edge... show her actually taking a beating to gain an edge. You know, like the show once did. It would be so badass to watch Yang getting in the way of all the attacks against her team, toeing the line between safety and breaking her own aura, before finally EXPLODING with a massive attack she's been saving up for, making that sacrifice worth it.

(Also potentially devastating if she's taking those hits with turning the tide in mind... but then she falls before she can see her plan through.)

[skayafair]

37 The Farm

I love how there are two parts of the fandom now:

the "i love you Oscar but you're so not making it out of this alive, i'm in denial"

and the "JEALOUS JOHN HELL YES look dear I don't care about Oscar either but could you be a bit more stealth about it"

And sometimes they merge. I believe.

(I'm team 2 btw)

Also I'm sorry but Oscar is fruity as hell, don't even try to tell me he's written as a straight man, there's just NO way okay. Speaking as greyromantic/ace myself

And the feeling I've got in 36 that John isn't just jealous, he's basically being erased and is scared to death to lose the only things he has - a sight that's not his but is the only use he sees for himself right now, a mind - the only thing that's truly him and his alone (shut up King), and a voice just one person can hear (also a few limbs control but this is being omitted all the time), that's why being so petty and posessive, - has only gotten stronger in 37. John, dear. You need a separation, and I don't even mean your eldritch body unsharing stuff, just psychologically. Which is hard, I guess, because of the eldritch body sharing stuff.

But he feels unstable and vulnerable af, unsure, uncertain about his very existence, that's why all the snarkiness.

Btw I really liked how I switched sides with John and Arthur this episode. Usually they are more stable morally-wise, as in one is being the moral compass for the other, but here the morals were being tossed between them like a hot potato. Although with Arthur I was more like disappointed and irritated (aren't you trying to be a good man and a Human with a capital H?) when he lost the course, and with John it's simply a grinny YASSSS JOHN 💛 idk and idc. Guess who's my comfort character. (Wrong, it's Yellow. Fine, it's John first.)

I wish I could care about Oscar, but he feels like a hindrance. Oooh my John kinny is showing aren't they As in, I KNOW he's helping, but I also see him as a very likely source of drama and disaster. He's not as familiar with the eldritch stuff the Jester team went through, he's pretty innocent but kinda unhinged in borderline religious way (borderline because it's not the faith in his god that makes him unhinged), and this contrast gives me the heebie jeebies. He feels like a slightly rabid kitten who's going to be killed because of his innocent ignorance and his drive to stick his nose where it shouldn't really go.

And uh. Oscar sounds like a really nice person. So he really SHOULDN'T go anywhere near Jester team because, y'know. People die like flies around them. I wouldn't wish such an unfortunate outcome to a genuinely nice person, no matter how much I like the boys.

Oh, btw I like the most recent addition to the podcast and am eager to learn what those black wormy things were :3

[lilithfairen]

So, the latest episode of Fixing RWBY...

For folks who are delightfully living without knowledge of this trainwreck, Fixing RWBY has just gotten up to just before the climax of the Volume, with the heroes' efforts to get to Argus despite Cordovin's stonewalling. And Celtic Phoenix, being the master of pacing that he is, decides that now is the perfect time to dump in a Cinder-focused episode! Specifically, the bit about Cinder in Mistral, which in actual V6 happened at the 1/3rd mark of the volume, in the same episode as RWBY + Oscar and Qrow arriving at Brunswick Farms, further grinding plot progress to a halt.

And this is a remarkable episode, because it shows that the only time that Celtic Phoenix can do anything original that isn't just ripping off RWBY canon, it's to show what a racist piece of shit he is.

Because this episode consists of two parts:

1.) Celtic Phoenix's shitty Cinder backstory, where she's taken to Salem by Tyrian. This is notable in that the scene involves Salem letting Cinder stab the hell out of her to show Cinder that she's immortal, just like how Salem cowed Hazel in canon. Because Celtic Phoenix is a hack who can't come up with his own material.

2.) Ripping off the fight between Cinder and Neo, except this time it's against one of the Malachite sisters (for those who don't know, the other sister died in Fixing RWBY and now she's a psycho who wants to kill Roman), who of course ends up agreeing to work with Cinder to kill Roman. So yanno, she's just the replacement Neo, because in Celtic Phoenix's eyes, a woman who is completely submissive to a man can't be a villain.

So what is the one original thing that Celtic Phoenix does in this chapter to highlight what a fucking awful human being he is?

He brings back Arslan Altan—again, the previous time having been to have her mock Pyrrha's death—just so he can have Cinder kill her.

Yep.

When a white male character gets dragged back into Fixing RWBY, he gets to be more of a hero and main character than Team RWBY themselves, to the point of holding his own against a main villain and coaching one of the lead characters through her own arc. When a woman of colour reappears, it's to be an awful person and then get killed off with ease in a scene that adds nothing whatsoever to the story.

Just in case you were wondering if today's episode further highlighted what a complete piece of shit Celtic Phoenix and everyone who supports Fixing RWBY is.