#osamu’s version looks different but whatever

[kaiijo]

ROMANCE TROPES — [HAIKYUU]

characters: hinata shoyo, miya atsumu, bokuto koutarou, sakusa kiyoomi content: gn! reader, the msby four, rich sakusa (i am a rich sakusa truther until the end), bokuto picks you up, sakusa is implied to be taller than you notes: omg i lowkey want to do a fuller version of sakusa’s part 

hinata shoyo ✶ love at first sight

slouched in a plastic airport seat, hinata’s leg bounces anxiously as he awaits his flight. rain beats down the side of the windows and he prays to whatever universal force there is that the flight leaves at the right time. he couldn’t fly with everyone else earlier since he celebrated his grandmother’s birthday with family but it put him on a late night flight that lined up with an incoming storm. 

he scrolls mindlessly through his social media feed, double-tapping a photo of oikawa’s reunion with his high school team and tanaka’s anniversary post for kiyoko. 

the speaker system crackles to life. “attention, passengers of flight 7644 to sapporo, due to inclement weather conditions, the flight has been delayed an estimated two hours. we apologize for the inconvenience and thank you for your patience.”

hinata curses under his breath, already on his way to pulling up the black jackals’s group chat to tell them. he pulls his cap off, running a hand through his hair with a long sigh. his phone begins to buzz with texts, no doubt from his coach telling him to keep them updated. 

he rests his forearms on his knees, slumping forward and skimming through the messages. then, he feels a cautious tap on his shoulder and a soft voice asks, “excuse me, do you have a charger i could use?”

when he looks up, hinata thinks the greater powers that be answered a different prayer of his. because holy shit he has never seen anyone as beautiful as you. you’re in a comfy-looking pullover and sweatpants and hinata only realizes he’s just been staring silently for a few seconds when your expression turns apologetic. “i’m sorry to bother you, i’ll ask someone else!”

“no, no, i’m sorry,” he says, words tumbling out of his mouth. he scrambles to unzip his backpack, rummaging through until he triumphantly pulls out his charger. he hands it to you and you thank him. before you can leave, he blurts out, “i’m hinata.”

“oh!” you stick your hand out and tell him your name with a small smile and when you do, hinata knows that he’s gone. 

miya atsumu ✶ brother’s best friend

osamu’s not sure how atsumu managed to weasel his way into his plans. it was a bit of a blur, atsumu practically crashing through the door of onigiri miya as osamu closed up shop to go get drinks with you, begging to be included. he supposes to reason was pity and atsumu’s pleading look as well as the fact that you work far away that had him agreeing to his brother tagging along. 

it was in your last year of high school that osamu figured out his brother had a big, fat crush on you. honestly, it should have been more obvious, especially with the way atsumu flaunted himself and often paraded around the house shirtless when he knew you were coming over. it bothered him at first, thinking bitterly that ‘tsumu couldn’t let him just have one thing to himself? but over time, the annoyance faded as he saw atsumu prove that this wasn’t just a flight-of-fancy, and osamu has already made peace with the very real possibility that you could be his in-law someday. that is, is atsumu could even tell you in the first place.

it’s a little disturbing, osamu thinks, watching the way atsumu flirts with you and wondering if he too makes the same googly-eyes at someone he’s crushing on or if that’s the way he sounds. you giggle when atsumu tries to take a sip of your margarita, telling him, “order your own then, ‘tsumu!”

“nah, yours tastes way better.”

“can’t take this scrub anywhere,” osamu says, earning a laugh from you and a glare from his twin.

you pat atsumu’s shoulder and osamu can’t believe you don’t feel how atsumu melts into your touch. “i’m actually glad both of you are here,” you say, “because i wanted to tell you guys that i’m moving back to tokyo! my boss promoted me so i’m back at main headquarters! isn’t that great?”

“that’s awesome,” osamu says, speaking for both himself and atsumu, who looks like he just won the lottery. 

bokuto koutarou ✶ opposites attract

whenever akaashi introduces you and bokuto as a couple to new people, he always gets pulled over to the side and asked in a whisper, “how did those two get together? he’s so… and they’re less…” 

akaashi can’t say that he wasn’t surprised when you and bokuto started dating back in high school, given that they two of you were on very different trajectories. obviously, bokuto was the captain of fukurodani’s volleyball team while you were student council president and vice-president of chess club. bokuto’s grade sat at the lower end of the spectrum while you were always within the top five students in your class. bokuto liked loud, screaming parties while you preferred a quiet night with a few friends. 

so when bokuto grabbed him by the shoulders one day and shook him, saying that he needed to tell you how he felt, akaashi was taken off-guarded. he didn’t even know you knew each other beyond having a mutual friend, him. 

maybe back then, akaashi would have agreed with the person asking him but now, he just tells them to observe the two of you. because when akaashi does, everything falls into place. like right now, as he and bokuto sit in the stands, watching your final chess match. if you win, you’ll hold onto your spot as a national champion and go on to compete internationally. 

out of the corner of his eyes, akaashi watches as bokuto sits at the very edge of his seat, chewing on his bottom lip. it’s clearly killing him not to cheer and it’s a testament to both his devotion to you. your hand hovers above the bishop before you switch quickly to the queen and move the piece with confidence, setting it down and announcing, “checkmate.”

the crowds erupts into the cheers and you’ve only barely finished shaking your opponent’s hand when bokuto flies out of his seat and barrels towards you. he sweeps you off your feet, spinning you once and setting you down before planting a big kiss on your cheek. you’re beaming as you’re handing your trophy, and bokuto steps back to let you soak up your spotlight. akaashi can’t help but notice that bokuto is beaming too and clapping the loudest. 

as the crowd starts to disperse, akaashi and bokuto join you again, ready to take you to your planned dinner. before you leave, bokuto says, “i was going to do this later but i can’t hold it in anymore, babe.” and he gets down on one knee with a ring box akaashi is all-too familiar with. 

sakusa kiyoomi ✶ reunited childhood sweethearts 

“try not to look so dour, sweetheart,” sakusa’s mother tells him as she fixes his tie. sakusa wants to grumble some choice words but he knows better than to complain to her. besides, he’s only partially paying attention, eyes darting about the crowd and back towards the venue’s entrance. 

he settles on adjusting his mask with a barely audible sigh and mumbles a quiet thanks as she flits to fuss over his older siblings. he glances again, disappointed as a different group of people waltzes in. he knows his older sister wouldn’t be so cruel as to lie to him that your family will be in attendance but the anxiety is making his antsy.

the two of you were inseparable as children with you being one of his only friends growing up.  you spent you days squirreled away in some nook reading or outside playing volleyball. your mothers always cooed that you two would get together one day, and as he got older and learned what that really meant, sakusa found himself hoping too. but then your parents took you and your siblings abroad, leaving him alone and heartbroken. he cut you off, hoping the distances and time would make your departure hurt less, but it didn’t.

sakusa doesn’t recognize the voice that calls his name but his head snaps towards the doorway. you’re standing in between your older sister and younger brother, waving at him. his heart skips a beat. your social media postings don’t do you enough justice; you’re even more attractive that the pixels he’s spent hours staring at. 

you still have that ever-present smile on your face and you quickly break-off from your family to bound over to him. without even thinking, his arms close around you as you embrace him tightly. you feel so familiar and he doesn’t want to let you go as you part. evidently, you don’t either as you keep him close still, only leaning away to look at him. “you’re so tall,” you laugh, more shyly you add, “and very handsome.”

this time, sakusa thinks his heart stops. 

[wttcsms]

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖࣪ you know i got a soft spot for you !!

ᝰ.ᐟ peak romance is when you realize that he's got a soft spot for you. alternatively: a headcanon post about the specific things he only does for you or the specific things you do to him that only you can get away with. ( fem!reader & sfw )

featuring osamu miya, tobio kageyama, kiyoomi sakusa author's notes damn, y'all just let hq win every poll, don't you?? haha jk, im happy to write whatever u guys wanna see. keshi's song has been stuck in my head all day (is this my socal abg transformation?? [guys im 100% viet, im allowed to make that joke]) i definitely still want to make a bllk version + if you guys like this, i'm always open to more characters <3

౨ৎ OSAMU MIYA — gives you the first and last bite of his food why it's special: osamu takes being a foodie to the next level. the man can eat, and he loves to do so. ever since elementary, his classmates and friends learned better than to ask osamu to share any of his snacks. he's not rude about it, per se, but you can tell that he packed his food with the intention of him and only him consuming it. him and atsumu even get into verbal altercations over who ate the last snack in the pantry. osamu just loves food — so it's pretty obvious that he must really love you a lot to always offer you the first bite of a meal at the restaurant he's spent weeks waiting to open.

"and anyway, that's when— hey, what the hell!" bits of rice fly out of atsumu's mouth whenever he watches osamu give you the first serving of grilled meat. you and osamu invited atsumu out to eat, to celebrate him joining the msby black jackals, and because everyone was craving bbq, you all agreed on the same restaurant (for once). osamu is naturally in charge of grilling the meats. what throws his twin off guard, though, is the fact that osamu is serving you first. "what's the matter? and finish chewing before you speak, damn." osamu huffs, before beginning to assemble portions of the side dishes on your plate as well. atsumu looks at his own empty plate before looking at osamu's empty plate. "geez, [name], how'd you do it?" you look up from your food to answer atsumu. "do what?" "this selfish, gluttonous bastard never lets anyone else eat first!" atsumu tells you, and you just laugh as osamu starts swearing at his brother. "well," you tell atsumu brightly, once his argument with osamu is settling down. "osamu's always lets me eat first. he insists, really." osamu has to tell atsumu to shut the hell up and stop whining before he doesn't get any food at all.

౨ৎ TOBIO KAGEYAMA — takes pictures of you why it's special: tobio kageyama's camera roll before you consists of screenshots (some are accidental, such as the ones of his lock screen, or it's usually different athletic gear he wants to check out), photos of maps (because he is directionally challenged everywhere except for the court), and sometimes of virtual tickets (for when he actually does attend an event, usually for sports). tobio kageyama's camera roll after you consists of the same stuff, pretty much... except for the fact that there are now hundreds of photos he takes of you. he's not one to take pictures; he's a bit awkward around a camera, really, but he realizes soon after getting with you that he doesn't mind being in front of a camera as long as you're posing with him. he takes so many candids of you, like when you're washing the dishes or drifting off to sleep on the couch after bingewatching a tv show. if pictures are worth a thousand words, he's said "i love you" over a million times.

"oh my gosh, delete that!" you shriek, trying to make a mad grab for your boyfriend's phone. his reflexes are quicker, though, and he holds it out of your reach. "why would i delete it?" he asks innocently. "you look cute." the photo in question is the one he just took. the two of you ordered ramen for takeout, and yours was made spicier than usual. your lips feel swollen, and they're kind of stained red from the spices used, and the image captures that, but also highlights the tears welling up in the corner of your eyes as you're in the middle of a massive bite of noodles. "i look like i'm the thumbnail for a 'mukbangers who took it too far and died' video!" you wail. "delete it, tobio!" "but you look cute." he stands his ground, pouting a bit. "that's not fair. do not make that face." you groan, turning to look away from your boyfriend. honestly, with a face like that, it's no wonder why you couldn't force him to delete any pics of you. he's just too damn good at whittling away your resolve. "i think i'm gonna make it my lockscreen." he muses.

౨ৎ KIYOOMI SAKUSA — lets you make a mess of his things why it's special: kiyoomi is very particular about his personal belongings. he doesn't let his teammates borrow any of his training equipment. he refuses to wash his jersey with the rest of the team's, and instead, gets it professionally cleaned elsewhere. in the beginning of your relationship, kiyoomi always offered to wash the dishes, purely because he would only trust that it was truly cleaned if he could confirm that they were well scrubbed. the closer you two get, though, the more the boundaries blur. soon, his stuff gets mixed in with yours. you're doing the laundry together. he gives you his pillow when yours gets too warm. there's intimacy in that, even more so when you consider how prickly kiyoomi gets with these things.

"kiyoomi! you're home early!" fuck fuck fuck, is what's going on in your internal dialogue. you're baking a cake for dessert, only the mixer had a mind of its own, and you ended up covered in sugar, spice, and everything nice. which isn't that big of a deal. you already wiped down the counters, mopped the floors, and got started on the dishes. the only issue is that when you're at home, you have a habit of stealing kiyoomi's clothes. right now, you've still got on his sweatshirt. his nice, pristine, fresh from the laundry sweatshirt... that is now covered in nothing but flour and cake mix. you were going to wash it, honest! it's just... cleaning the kitchen took more time than you anticipated, and kiyoomi was supposed to stay at the gym for the whole day. he knows that that sweatshirt is his. you expect your boyfriend's eye to twitch, or for him to frown, or to even complain that you just ruined his very nice and outrageously priced hoodie. instead, he walks over to you, and places a kiss on your forehead. you've got flour all over you, including your hair, and surely he's got some flour on his lips now. he doesn't complain or say anything about the ruined sweatshirt. he just says, "thanks for baking. i'm going to go shower."

[ranpazz]

ARE YOU DEATH OR PARADISE? ft. Dazai Osamu

synopsis ; He thought he could prevent your inevitable death. How foolish he was to believe that he'd succeed where he failed in every world.

cw ; beast!zai, character death, angst/no comfort, gn!reader, not proofread (it's me.), someone needs to take Billie Ellish away from me.

Death.

Humans fear two things. The inevitable, and what they dont know. The first thing is what most humans tend to try and avoid, knowing that it's impossible. Some fear it, some wish for it. To Dazai, it was something that he felt the duality of. He feared it– only when it prayed and caught onto those he cherished most, yet he wished for it to the point it was not sane.

In this world, the very one he fabricated every tiny detail down to the wire, he assured himself that nothing could truly avoid his watchful eye. He even brought you along with him to ensure that fact. You're something precious, possibly even otherworldly, to Dazai, even in the realities that he's a mere spectator of. The memories of you that plague his mind like flies swarming food.

He wanted to believe that, even just for a moment, you were his. That you didn't belong to the versions of him from another world– you were solely his. Dazai protected you, he has the resources in this world to save you from the very fate that found you in every universe– death. You were supposed to be safe. You were not supposed to be lost. This wasn't supposed to happen again. Then again, Dazai knew better.

So why did he hope that you were any different?

Why did he believe that when he witnessed you die on the CCTV footage, killed by a threat greater than himself, you were merely playing a game? Why did he, for once, pray to a God that this was not the horrid reality it was meant to be? Why was life so far away from fair, taking away the only string of sanity that kept him going in this world?

It was simple, really. He was Dazai Osamu. Everything he wants is lost the moment he obtains it.

Which led him here, hovering over your body, clutching you tightly in his grasp as if you'd vanish the moment he let you go. He was trembling, your blood was staining his hands, tainting the bandages he wore a deep shade of scarlet. Dazai had never cried before, but he could feel his tear ducts stinging, his vision blurring.

Chuuya’s shouts were ignored, all Dazai could focus on was how at peace you looked. Your hair was disheveled, yet it framed your face with the upmost delicacy, your lifeless eyes were closed, thick lashes mocking him, causing him to ponder that you might just be toying with him. Unfortunately, the lack of a heartbeat in your ribs, the paleness of your skin, and the way no air entered nor left your body, said otherwise.

The pages of that godforsaken book tunneled his vision, the sentences that spelt out your death tantalizing him. He knows, so stop it. Stop reminding him of what he lost. Dazai knew he was reckless, stupid for bringing you into this life when he should have left you alone. He should have learned from those other versions him that it's best not to become attached. The original version learned from Oda, so how come he just had not learned his lesson from you?

It could have been that he did not want to accept the truth of your demise. You had loved him so tenderly, accepted every one of his flaws, remained patient with him no matter what occurred. You were practically his safe-haven in each universe. Maybe it was your understanding that led him to forgetting the reason why he told himself to stay away. Or possibly it was the sheer love that he refused to acknowledge until the last minute.

.

.

In the next life, he'll try again. You'll stay safe, you'll stay alive. He'll do whatever it takes for you to stay by his side.

Next time, he'll do things differently.

divider by @kodaswrld

[cxtori]

Osamu Dazai ✮ Reckless (Angst Version)

summary: you vent your frustrations to Dazai after the crazy stunt he pulled with Fyodor

genre: angst, kiiinda comfort, cleaning his injuries, Dazai being a protective idiot

wc:835

warnings: n/a, some Dead Apple spoilers

tori’s note: I’m posting a second version of this story that will be more lighthearted/fluffy than this one. I just liked the concept and when I started writing I realized this could go two different ways. So I just wrote both lmao. Here's the fluffy version!

You were frustrated. No, that only begins to describe it. You were pissed, furious, irate. Whatever other powerful words there are to describe extreme anger, you were feeling it. 

You pour some antiseptic onto the cotton pad in your fingers, the fibrous material soaking up the liquid quickly. You raise it to Dazai’s back and press it against the deep wound resting there.

“Ahh,” Dazai hisses. “Jeez, you could be a little more careful.” You can hear the pain in his voice, but you can also hear the teasing tone underneath it. Your face scrunches in annoyance.

“Shut up. I’m still mad at you,” you huff and continue to clean his wound. 

He’d explained what had happened, how he’d been quite literally stabbed in the back with a poison coated dagger. looking at its placement, it’s a miracle the blade didn’t hit his spine. just an inch further to the right and this whole situation could have been very different.

“I can’t believe you left like that. You should have told me,” you say quietly. 

“I couldn’t. It wouldn’t have worked out like this if I did, you know that.”

And you did. But still. He disappeared so suddenly and the next thing you knew he was working with someone who planned to destroy your home? You knew Dazai would never betray you like that, not seriously. But at the same time, seeing him in that light scared you.

You finish cleaning his back and apply antibiotics and bandages, adding to the many that were already wrapped haphazardly around him. 

Once you’re done, you move to stand in front of him and begin to clean the various cuts and scrapes on his front side. You prepare another cotton pad and swipe over the wounds, none of them being severe enough to require much attention.

As you work, Dazai’s eyes are keenly focused on you. He watches as you carefully clean him up, a soft but determined look on your face, though it’s almost entirely hidden by the frustration distorting your features. 

A smile spreads across his lips and he wraps a hand around your free one. You ignore him, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of falling for his flirty little tricks. 

You were both aware of the effects he had on you and, though he didn’t use it against you often, he would use it to his advantage. And right now it was in hopes of getting you to not be angry at him.

As your eyes scan over the marks scattering his body, your vision begins to blur. Before you can stop it, there are tears falling from your eyes. Are these angry tears, sad tears or relieved tears? You have no idea. Maybe it’s all of them at once.

“You idiot. Why do you have to be so careless?” You ask, your voice just above a whisper. Dazai looks at you, his smile slowly fading into a thoughtful but somber expression. He knows you aren’t expecting an answer, but he replies anyway.

“Because I care for you.” And that’s really all it boiled down to. He recklessly puts himself in dangerous situations if he knows that’s what it’ll take to protect his home and friends. To protect you. Even so, you hated his methods.

“I was so worried, Osamu,” you say quietly, afraid that your voice will crack too much if you speak normally. Despite your low tone, the pain and fear in it rings loud and clear. Dazai’s hand grips yours tighter.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to act like you’re working alone.” He doesn’t reply, only drops his gaze to where his hand is wrapped carefully around yours. 

You’d had this conversation countless times before. That he is part of a team that is more than capable of handling serious situations. That he doesn’t have to jump head first into danger to solve problems. That he has other’s to lean on. That he has you. 

But no mater how many times you said this, it never changed. And it terrifies you.

“It’s just… what if you had-”

“I didn’t, that’s what matters,” Dazai says, cutting you off. His hand leaves yours to rest on your face instead, his palm cupping your jaw as his thumb strokes over your cheek, wiping away your drying tears. 

“Please, don’t ever do that again.”

“You know I can’t make that promise.”

He was right. He will continue to keep you in the dark if he knows that’s what it takes to keep you safe, even if you both hate it. There was no point in promising that he wouldn’t. 

His hand moves from your face to the back of your neck, tangling his fingers into your hair. He brings your face closer to his, his dark brown eyes looking into yours intently.

“I love you, more than anything,” He whispers and places a kiss to your forehead. “And I only want to protect you.”

And that’s what he’ll continue to do.

©Cxtori 2024 please do not copy, plagiarize, repost or translate any of my works. reblogs are appreciated

[bluestarjay]

Oooh I am so tired of the twinkification of haikyuu characterssss Istg if I see one more fanart of Ushijima where he looks like the love interest of a shoujou anime, and is lean/skinny I'm gonna actually scream wth guys he's beefy he's MUSCULAR he is a professional athlete and is like 6"4 I keep seeing fanarts where he has more of Tendou's physique and it bothers me sm like I always see fanart of him and I don't recognize its him cause he's so skinny and I'm like "Who is that? He's wearing the Shiratori- Oh my God, that's not Ushijima, is it????" And then I check the tags, and it is, and I'm like ???? Like, I'm all for drawing characters according to your headcanons, but Ushijima??? Lean??? And I'll go on Pinterest to get ship stuff bc it's less organized and lowkey easier to find stuff since it's just pictures, yk? But I'll look at it, and it's all that weird ass 2000s-2010s artstyle. Take Tsukihina, for example, and Hinata looks like a child. Like Tsukishima is HUGE, and Hinata is TINY!! Their height difference is not that big. And I feel like a lot of it is from comics or doujinshi, and the style just looks like it's from something R rated ykwim???? Like all of it is just helpless baby Hinata 🥺🥺 and his huge tall 'alpha' bf Tsukishima who hates everybody but him. Like they just take random characters and twinkify them; they make them overtly feminine for no reason and it makes me sooo madddd I am sick of fuckin Thumbelina Hinata and Levi Ackerman Ushijima make it stop!!!! OR THE OPPOSITE WHERE THEY MAKE RANDOM CHARACTERS SUPER DOMINANT AND SEXY AND WEIRD BC 1 THEY ALWAYS USE THE HIGH SCHOOL VERSIONS OF THEM AND 2 THEY ARE FUCKING LOSERS AND NERDS THEYRE NOT CALLING A GODDAMN SOUL "BABYGIRL 🫦😩" THEY ARE CALLING EACH OTHER MORONS AND INSULTINF THEIR HAIRCUTS **edit, I just wanted to add that all the fanarts I see of the popular characters, e.g ushijima, atsumu/osamu, oikawa, etc, all have the same exact face toooo, And I actually HATE the kind of art where people make them *so* buff they look like a Jojo or DBZ character,, someone who reblogged brought that up a bit and REALLL I hate it. And this is kinda irrelevant, but I think people also forget that people's body types change over time. Changing a characters body type (at least according to the character/source) should be fine, as that's what happens as you age. A character from an apocalypse show probably isn't gonna be super buff, but rather lean bc yes they are technically working out in the fact that they are traveling a lot and idk like killing zombies or whatever the basis for the show is, but there's also gonna be a loss of food yk, so they'd still be rather skinny. And that'd be the case for any body type. A high schooler isn't gonna have the same body as an adult, and people don't usually account for that, which is fine, I'm not saying anybody has to because it's such a small thing usually, but it's just a small pet peeve of mine. (I want a muscular post time skip Osamu with some chubbiness so bad he loves to eat, but he does still like working out. I just know that man has some chub on his stomach and I want it 😩😩)

[monoclesnapple]

Fake Dating? It's Fake Hating Now!

Bungo Stray Dogs Osamu Dazai X Gender Neutral Reader Summary: Initially, you had a dislike towards the actor every woman simped on, who was also a friend of your band. Now, you're his lover behind the scenes and still remain his hater in public. Beginning Note: Singer! Reader and Actor!Dazai AU. Also a little cameo of Rockstar!Chuuya, cause I wanna connect fics. Initially, Dazai was going to be a singer, but I looked back at my Rockstar!Chuuya post and he was an actor. I honestly don't know how these occupations work, so I may get some things wrong. There may be some mistakes, I tried to fix everything cause this was written as Singer!Zai, but I could've missed something. Word Count: 1570 (Fluff/Little Suggestive)

You are a popular singer, whereas Dazai is a very well known actor.

While you both have different occupations, your band is familiar/acquainted with him. Your group is sometimes seen with him.

Despite this, though, you were never really fond of him. Sure, he may look pretty good, but you just didn’t hit it off with him.

It seemed one sided, since every time you and he were together, he was always flirting with you, complimenting you, and the like. He showed interest in you.

You’re not entirely sure why you don’t like him. It’s probably because he was known to flirt with pretty much every woman he comes across. Maybe it’s cause he somehow always knew what you were thinking/feeling, so it creeped you out. Perhaps he could very well be lying to you. He is an actor, after all.

Either way, you didn’t want to be associated with him, but you also didn't want to force your band to stay away from him.

The media loved seeing collaborations.

Every time you and Dazai were with each other, whether it be in interviews, little films, maybe even after your concerts that he attended, you tried your best not to pay mind to him, looking away from him while he tried to gain your attention.

His social media accounts have a lot of content about you. He could be begging for you on the equivalent of Twitter, uploading pictures/edits of you on whatever version of Instagram there is, anything.

At some point, you just posted about a popular rockstar, Chuuya, just to annoy Dazai. You knew the two of them had beef with each other for some reason, so you spent time with his rival for a couple days.

Dazai wasn’t happy. Why were you with him?! Chuuya’s even more annoying, always yapping about something unimportant.

You couldn’t pretend to be with Chuuya or anything cause he was already in a committed, loving relationship. You have respect, of course. Though you could show an interest. Playfully simp for the rockstar while also acknowledging the fact that you won’t get any further because you know not to get involved with people who have partners.

Chuuya didn't mind, as long as you never tried to separate him and his spouse and that you genuinely didn't have feelings for him.

He's also a friend of your band, often collaborating with your group to produce the best content.

The whole thing with him was only for a short time, you just wanted to see Dazai’s reaction, and it was worth it.

He wouldn’t talk to you for a while. Whenever he saw you, he’d just turn away. You were glad, but that only lasted for a short time. After some time, Dazai returned to normal.

Fans of the two of you would commonly ship you together, even if there seemed to be no way you would ever think of Dazai romantically. That’s just how fans are in general for any piece of media.

Whenever you’re being interviewed, there’s always a question about your view of Dazai. Your answer remains the same.

In the beginning, you just never liked Dazai. Until at some point, you realized that you were gradually gaining interest in him.

When you came to know about this, you were in your room, just thinking about whatever came to mind while trying to come up with any ideas for songs. After a little panic, you sighed and decided to just leave the feelings alone.

If you were genuinely into Dazai, you wouldn’t make a move. While his flirtations have been consistent, you felt like he was only teasing. You’d wait for the moment where he will actually show that he wants to be in a committed relationship. If he did.

Due to your lives, it’ll be hard to form a romantic relation with each other, especially one so serious.

Thank goodness you’re pretty good at hiding your emotions. Sure, Dazai may know of your feelings sooner or later, but no one will take his word seriously if he commented on it.

When you knew it was the perfect moment to confess, you and Dazai were alone and waiting to do an interview that included the both of you. You were browsing around social media on your device, and Dazai was simply laying on the couch across from you.

At some point, a comment slipped from his lips. One that communicated just how much he admired you. When your eyes darted to his own, you saw that he was looking at you with a gentle look. Eyes certainly are windows to the soul echoed through your mind.

You two discussed about your genuine feelings, and all that was related. As much as you hated talks like these, they were necessary for knowing how to proceed with your lives.

The discussion was cut short since it was time to start, but the important topics were already covered.

You and Dazai could enter a relationship and not reveal it to the public. Maybe your bandmates and closest friends would be informed of it, but not at the moment unless they found out for themselves.

In the meantime, you’d continue to “dislike” Dazai when in public. Social media posts won’t change.

It was easy to keep this up. Sure, a few times you came close to revealing what was really going on behind the scenes, but you managed to remain cool and collected, no suspicion at all.

Arguments between the two of you online were common. Dazai would post something, and you’d negatively comment about it. 

In the privacy of your homes, however, both of you were just enjoying your time.

When you’re cuddled up to Dazai and he’s asleep for once, you think that it’s quite fun to live like this. The media only knows you two as incompatible acquaintances, only relying on fanfiction/fanart to see the two of you together. Meanwhile, you’re over here, pressing loving kisses to the face of the man who you “despised.”

After your concerts, you two sneak off to some secluded place without anyone else noticing, thanks to Dazai who knows the perfect time to make your escape.

Usually, you end up in either your band's vehicle or Dazai's. Other places include: bathrooms, alleyways, roofs, hotel rooms, even a closed diner parking lot. (It was only one time, and you two were quiet. Nobody else was there anyways. After that time, though, you and Dazai agreed to never go to a parking lot again. Just leave it as a one time thing.)

After the concert was over and everyone was getting ready to leave, Dazai had dragged you out to the car you used as transportation. The rest of your band were packing their stuff, which would take at least an hour. They already knew of your relationship and that you two always snuck off to make out or something, so they left you to your devices.

Thankfully, no one else was out around the area, so you quickly unlocked the door to backseat. When it swung open, Dazai shoved you inside and closed the door right behind him. You let out a small sound of surprise at the push, but soon got comfortable, turning over and laying on your back. Dazai removed some of the outer layers of his outfit, along with a couple accessories.

Once all was settled, his lips came into contact with your own, simply kissing each other softly. The slow kisses gradually shifted to sloppily making out, tongues coming into play. There wasn’t enough time to go all the way, even for a quickie, so you and Dazai were only going to exchange kisses for now. When everyone settles into the hotel nearby, that’s when the fun will really begin.

At the moment, this is good enough. Your arms soon wrapped around his neck, and his did the same around your waist. You’d occasionally tug at his hair, and his hands slipped underneath your top. Dazai’s hips sometimes rolled into yours, drawing quiet sounds of pleasure out of the two of you.

As much as you wanted to go further, you knew that your friends would be coming soon, so you eventually stopped, pulling away from Dazai as he leaned back on the door behind him. Both of you were panting, but you sat up and took out a small mirror to look over yourself, turning on the lights in the car above you.

You both fixed yourselves before sharing one last kiss with one another. Dazai exited the vehicle after saying goodbye, taking his belongings into his arms and leaving while you waited for your friends to arrive.

In general, you enjoy the way things are now. There’s no big news about a newly formed relationship between a singer and an actor, one of whom supposedly hated the other. Not an excessive amount of people trying to dig up some more information by following you around when you’re in public. Everything’s simply normal.

Just with some more fun now that you have Dazai as your romantic partner.

And you’re planning to give him a better title, a small box waiting in your pocket for the perfect time. Just like when you were waiting to confess to him.

Maybe you and Dazai can have a talk about what you can reveal. Can’t keep the media in the dark forever, they’re bound to know eventually.

[ponponproblems]

In a way, it is actually kind of interesting that the BATMANGA, which inspired small parts of Grant Morrison's run, like the inclusion of my actual favourite Batman villain LORD DEATH MAN and the character of Jiro Osamu, is kind of just more golden-silver age Batman.

Tonally, it really is not out of place. If you like vintage Batman, at least the silly villains, Bruce being written as an actual detective, the normal man vs. weird superpowers dynamics and all that, you will like the BATMANGA. On the other hand, if you really like 1960s Batman's interactions with the then-batfamily, like Kathy Kane, Gordon, Pennyworth, well, sadly there is very little for you in the BATMANGA, because it just isn't about that, it is strictly villain of the week cases with occasional moments of very strong characterization between Bruce and Dick.

The main differences between 1960s Japanese Batman and its American counterpart are,

Gotham City looks more like 1960s Tokyo. It has a modern Shinjuku-esque area with a lot of neon and billboards. I've been playing a lot of the Yakuza videogame series lately and it most reminds me of Kamurocho, which is based on Tokyo's Kabukicho area. Outside of that, the buildings are mostly those big rectangular grey post-war Japanese "built in five years to last forever" structures that you see mostly outside of tourist-y or entertainment-focused districts.

the villains sometimes do have names like "Lord Death Man" in localization. Death Man was actually created by 1950s Batman writer and artist Robert Kanigher and Sheldon Moldoff. I imagine the "Lord" came from a choice when translating an honorific, probably -dono / -tono or considering the era of localization possibly just -sama, and it sounds like funny bad Engrish to call someone "Lord" and "Man" in the same name so hey, it stuck! Mostly the villains in the BATMANGA are just more low-key, Adam West show-y versions of familiar concepts, like a diabolical psychic gorilla, which if you know anything about silver age comics is far from a weird Japanese thing. Comics are all about diabolical psychic gorillas.

the cast is absolutely tiny, comprising of Bruce, Dick, whichever supporting characters have called them into action, and the villain of the week. As a result, the dynamic between Bruce and Dick is extremely solid. Interestingly, Bruce is often the damsel in distress, and Dick is allowed to fight on mostly equal footing with named villains. In 1960s western Batman media, Dick was often reduced to a bit of a damsel in distress when facing off with named villains.

It really isn't about shrinking fairy women (a Godzilla reference), dramatic poses (a Super Sentai reference), bizarre vehicles (a reaction to Chinese tie-in merchandise, like the various "Spider-Man's car" toys), or the other generalized "Japanese" elements of Japan in Grant Morrison's Batman.

I don't mean this to say Grant Morrison is a racist or whatever, so much as, I think he was a little behind the curve when writing Jiro Osamu / The Batman of Japan in Batman Incorporated. I think he fell into a lot of "weird Japanese thing" 90s Orientalist writing when the reality is, like... the manga is just more 1960s Batman with, to be blunt with you, better art and oftentimes more interesting portrayals of Batman as a detective, albeit at the cost of essentially no supporting cast or portrayal of Bruce and Dick's civilian lives. They go to Jamaica at one point but mostly we just see them hanging out in Bruce's mansion reacting to newspapers or the Bat-Phone.

Morrison was an adult man when Pokemon hit the west, and was obviously the kind of dude who would've looked at it and been all, huh! that's so weird! Unfortunately, the whole "weird Japanese version of a western superhero" thing is really just a generalization of the emissary from hell, Supaidāman. I still like Jiro Osamu but that character and his stories could've been so much better if Morrison immersed himself in Japanese superhero media for a little while to learn how it actually works, instead of playing on the expectation that when the Japanese write stories, it's so wacky and weird and different and foreign. Outside of the core element of transformation, which is really just putting on your superhero costume in a novel way, Kamen Rider and the various Super Sentai characters aren't much weirder than the stuff you'll find in 1960s superhero comics in the west.

[pkmin4]

✮⋆˙ 01/14/2025

no longer human (osamu dazai)

in which we watch a traumatized clown's visceral spiral into despair. and then afterwards, oblivion. (💭10/10)

no longer human. now i'm not, and have never been, a book reader by any means. it's been probably 5 or so years since i last picked up an actual piece of literature. and finished it, even. but when i saw this title recommended to me in a local shopping app, something about it just called to me.. and not just because of my previous associations of this author to.. popular media figures in anime (i have never even finished bsd i am a fraud)

around that time, that was december of 2024... i was (and still am) was trying to scramble and look for art that could speak to me in some way (fun fact: this was how i came to watch good will hunting but wasn't impressed at all with how they handled trauma), and that title expresses a feeling that i have unfortunately felt all my life. no longer human. or in some translations, "disqualified from being a human". put in simple words. and so as an impulse buy, i got myself a copy.

let me sidetrack for a bit. funny story, the book i got was SO cheap that it actually turned out to be a bootleg. that reprinted a version with soo many typos, and THEN it changes to a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT BOOK midway!!! i think it was another dazai book which is so funny but what the fuck man!!! i got soo frustrated i spent an entire night digging out a 10 year old ipad to repurpose it into a budget "e reader" and i do not regret this decision at all cuz it rocks. i'll sooo be reading more books on it. aah, i'm getting so sidetracked. back to the entry!!!

safe to say this has become one of my favorite books of all time now. yozo oba is a fascinating case of a man. in the author's note of the translation i'm reading, the translator mentioned that yozo is perhaps supposed to reflect how japanese intellectuals at the time insist on their otherness despite wanting to be recognized by something far greater than their peers. the translator then brings up the west and all thay stuff—and like.. i kind of see it, i guess? while yeah, contextually, japan was facing huge social changes at the time of dazai authoring the book, causing him to feel a sort of alienation as times rapidly change. as he grapples with his identity. dazai does not fit in, no matter how hard he tries. and that can be a scary thing.

the beauty of yozo oba as a character, though, is how he stands the test of time... from being a reflection of the volatile, alienating culture of the 20s all the way to the 40s(?), his struggles is still as relevant today because they aren't JUST rooted in the fact that his intellect separates him from the world (good will hunting, you can learn from this). he actually goes through SEVERAL and REPEATED things from an early age that literally traumatizes him. even being constantly sick was enough to warrant some sort of trauma and effect in his development, y'know? imagine being so isolated as a kid, and feeling more fragile than anyone else your age. and his dad was cold, not to mention all the sexual abuse he had to go through haunting him all the way to adulthood. unlike the author, i don't think yozo insists on his otherness. he just can't help but act the way he does as a defense mechanism. in fact, he even begs god to "acquaint him with the true natures of 'human beings'". he wants badly to be someone other than himself, that, out of fear, he masks around his peers for a good majority of his life and betrays what is true to him.

i think yozo's "lack of humanity" is what makes him paradoxically very human. he's as human as anyone who has struggled with trauma in the past. as anyone who struggles to form an identity, thus turning to things that may or may not be vices—to seemingly harmless things like overconsumption to fill whatever hole we have in our chests and in our ceaselessly cruel thoughts. when i read this book, i was curious enough to see what other's people's thoughts on it, and i wasn't surprised to see that so many people connected with him. i connected with him too, as someone who probably needs to be diagnosed for c-ptsd whose thoughts seem so parallel to yozo's to a scary degree... that's why people love it so much. it's visceral to a VERY uncomfortable, but honest degree. seriously, it's like the dude's life progressively gets worse and worse the more you turn the pages.

Now I have neither happiness nor unhappiness. Everything passes.

it's hopelessly comical. you'd think that surely, all his suffering must amount to something, but no. it ends just as you'd expect it to end (no this isn't spoilers cuz the prologue already lets you know the nature of yozo's life upfront)... and there's more to this, of course. and the ending isn't as important as the spiral in itself. once the latter contextualizes the book's closing lines, it leaves you horrified and stunned at how miserable such a man's life could be. some people think yozo still had a good few years after that closer, but personally, i find it more thematic to know that he died at that point when he (spoiler) (won't say please just read the book). died as a laughable husk of a man, who is non-feeling. not even happy or miserable. god even just surrendering his feelings to nothingness adds a layer to his lack of humanity that it's just so painfully raw..

my thoughts on that epilogue... this single paragraph is a bit of a spoiler so just skip to the next if you're not all about that. his notebooks almost feel like a cry for help—i don't know for what other reason they could be written, when yozo himself calls his life one of shame. like, if he were that mortified of his life, he'd kept all his feelings to the grave... but no. which is why they strike to me as a desperate plea to try to be understood. maybe then he'd feel human too in the end, if one had at least tried to... and so it's unfortunate that in the epilogue, the bar owner despite having read his notebooks, seems to dismiss all of it and call him an angel. perfect and flawless, as if disregarding his true feelings and mental health. first of all, the root is beyond his father. and then to call yozo the barkeep knew "amusing" completely proves his point that his clowning did work. that in the end, the reader of the notebook is still a victim of his facade. so no, i don't think that the barkeep's statement holds any merit.

this book is brilliant. it disturbs and comforts me at the same time. i saw someone say "trauma robs you of who you're meant to be" in relation to this book and the childhood experiences of yozo, and it truly is sad... finishing this book left me at the same state of shock as finishing oyasumi punpun. if that's anything. i don't know.

[tate-lin]

Omg an extension of your dissertations!! That's so cool tho; exploring your dissertation in a fiction novel~ There's more creative freedom to express what you want to say and make your point through the book's themes 👀🔥

For manga, I have several (though I did very briefly touch on it in this post)!!

The biggest I'd say is Hunter X Hunter's magic system called Nen. What I love most about it is how majority of Nen-users have to create their own special ability called Hatsu and, because of this, their Hatsu is directly informed by their respective personalities, strengths & interests which says a lot about their characters, narrative, and story arc. Because of this, I modelled the basics of my own magic system, ethra, after it by having it be something anyone can pick up and use, like a sport or skill. Here's my post on ethra and I think anyone who read the manga and see my six foundational pillars will be able to spot my inspiration behind it 😂

Besides that, I was inspired to create my darling plant-robot, Drew, directly because of an animated movie called No Game No Life: Zero. I just loved how strange and alien the robot seemed at the start and how the robots were all connected like a hive mind.

In terms of his actual story arc tho, my biggest inspirations come from a mech creation manga I read years ago (I can't remember the name of it now but it's basically this dude manufacturing non-sentient transformers) and Pluto by Urusawa Naoki, a grimmer and more grounded retelling of a really, really long chapter in Astro Boy by Tezuka Osamu called The Greatest Robot on Earth. And while it's not a manga or anime, I was also influenced by the video game Detroit: Become Human while trying to figure his character out.

Though I love No Game No Life: Zero, Pluto, and Detroit: Become Human (especially Pluto I love that thing to bits), I have different ideas on the potentials of robots. In all three of them, there is a lot of emphasis placed on the robots' humanity and empathy. In fact, the androids in Detroit: Become Human were only able to be freed from their lack of agency by becoming exactly like a human till they're nearly indistinguishable on the outside (hence the title).

For me, however, I don't need nor want robots to become exactly like us because they're not. If they can become sentient, they'd be people, of course, but not humans, and this difference is what's crucial to me.

In this case, it's the mech manga that truly influenced my direction on this take. In that story, there was a long-standing habit, maybe even an obsession, for engineers to create the mechs in our image, and the MC found a problem with that. Their society created mechs in order to fight or solve other problems, but was it so necessary to have them take on the shape of humans? If a spike for an arm made more sense, or if it was more useful to create something more akin an over-glorified spring with a knife, then wouldn't that be better? Why were humans the template that all mechs were based on? Just look out to nature and you can find thousands more fitting examples to base a design on, depending on what you're trying to solve.

This manga introduced me to the idea that humanity has a huge keenness to create robots that looked, moved, and acted exactly like us. Which is why things like this exist:

I'm absolutely not suggesting that humanity isn't creative enough to come up with something else, but from what I see, the general consensus is that a 'perfect robot' would be something that's exactly like us, just better.

But is all of that really necessary? In my opinion, it's akin to a parent-child relationship where the parent raised a child just to have another version of them. A take #2 of their life, but be perfect and make absolutely no mistakes. Be whatever the parent needs them to be in order to achieve their own goals.

In the end tho, I think it's nonsensical to assume that if a robot achieves sentience, they'd want to follow the same path as us or even want to think like us. There are many robot media out there which touched on how differently they view the world, but why is the correct answer at the end for a robot to want to be like us? To love like us, feel emotions like us, to care about the same things?

I just don't think that it makes sense. What's wrong with acting, feeling, and thinking like a robot? It may contrast with humanity's goals and desires and may prove to be inconvenient or troubling for us, but as long as they aren't hurting anyone, what's the big deal? They're essentially a whole different species we're creating, even if they're based off humans.

To me, I feel like their biggest problem wasn't necessarily not being human, it's that they wanted to be accepted and have agency but they're not, because robots were ultimately created as tools first. There is a huge difference being 'treated like a person' and 'treated like a human' I think, and that's what Drew struggles with the most.

Returning to Pluto though, one thing that influenced me heavily is how even robots that have very typical clonky robot looks can show such deep emotion & depth. Like omg JUST LOOK AT THESE PAGES!!

(note: please read from right to left for manga, like a reverse-z)

Like wowowow I just can't. I really can't. The anime did not do this scene justice cause I near about cried while reading this the very first time.

A robot that can't express themselves like a human can, a robot that doesn't look or think like a human does, a robot that doesn't even appreciate the same things as a human does... And even with all that, this is so clearly a person with her very own problems, thoughts, personality, and mindset. With Drew, this is exactly what I want to achieve.

Robots have their own strengths and weaknesses and unique appeal to them. Just like we humans do, even if we end up as very different beings. Isn't it such a waste to desire a pure copy-paste of us? I want to explore robots as their own species that are still a legacy of us, their creators, but also how they can go beyond that, like all children do in the end.

Other than that, certain panels of numerous other manga really strike me and they often inspire the creation of a particular character or plot choice. For example, Attack on Titan (humanity vs giant monsters) really influenced how I think about life's purpose, especially these two juxtaposing panels:

What are we born for, what should we do with our life? Attack on Titan was the manga that really made me realise that the answers to those questions don't necessarily need to be answered, and that's also what I want to explore, particularly with Minh.

And while thinking about my theme on acceptance, these are my biggest inspirations for it (the first is from Blue Lock, a soccer manga, and the second from Jujutsu Kaisen, an action manga about child soldiers, though the character featured is a lawyer):

Anyway we finally come to the end of this!! If you read till the end kudos to you omg cause I just ended up rambling 😭

I do get inspired by English novel books and other media too, but there's sth about the honesty and sincerity I find in manga that just really captures me.

@tate-lin reblogged your post:

#wowwww omg#did you take philosophy?? the inspiration you got is so interesting#i'm mainly inspired by manga so it's really cool to see where others draw their inspiration from#the ideas you're trying to implement is super intriguing too 👀🔥#i wanna beta readdd 🥹

Hi Tate-Lin, 💜 It's such a treat to see you on my dash! Hope you're doing good and the Writeblr gods are smiling down on your WIPS (check them out here). Thank you so much for reading through that super-long post 😅 I got a little carried away. But to answer your question, yes, I have two degrees in philosophy, and I'm still debating whether I should go in for another one (it's an addiction at this point, although I don't like the whole snobbish academic scene, tbh). Most of the references I mention in my post are things I've studied over the years. In fact, most of my big creative projects, and The Sorcerer's Apprentice especially, are extensions of my dissertations. I'm exploring the same questions, just through a different medium (my latest dissertation was on Socrates, fascism, and Foucault, so yeah you can definitely see that in the references lol). I'd be honoured to have you beta-read it when it's ready!!! By the way, I'm curious: which manga have inspired your work? I haven't read enough Manga in my life and I'd love to know more about it from your perspective! 💜

[persimmontea]

Don’t you love it when they

[fushiguroll]

HAIKYUU AS PEOPLE IVE SEEN IN THE AIRPORT

a/n: based off my experiences 

Daichi ⇢ arrives at the airport 5 hours before his flight boards and spends about 2 hours just sitting in the waiting area. his traveling motto is “better early than sorry” 

Sugawara ⇢ watches tiktoks...without earphones. bro, not everyone wants to hear you watch different versions of “my money don’t jiggle jiggle” for the next 45 minutes

Asahi ⇢ takes forever clearing out his pocket for TSA check. gums, hair ties, loose coins, what else you got in there, Mary Poppins? Is visibly anxious when he sees the long line starting to form behind him. the line only makes him more nervous and now all the loose coins have fallen on the floor and he looks like he’s about to burst into tears

Nishinoya ⇢ runs around the terminal with his skateboard and is chased by the overweight security guard on his segway. he laughs the entire time and is finally apprehended after crashing into a group of European tourists with oversized backpacks and luggages

Tanaka ⇢ thinks he looks cool singing along quietly to whatever is playing inside his earphones, but in reality sounds so bad -- off-key for days

Tsukishima ⇢ fell asleep waiting for his plane to board, you thought you’d get your romantic airport moment by kindly waking him up only for him to glare at you 

Yamaguchi ⇢ carries a squishmallow with him (probably a dinosaur or axolotl) you catch him cuddling it as he naps at the gate while waiting to board

Kageyama  ⇢ the guy who is so lost. he’s approaches you for the second time, face red and apologetic as he asks for the directions again. you smile and offer to walk with him to his gate, you got some time to kill anyways.

Hinata ⇢ the one guy who is carrying way too much stuff for his body. this is the airport dude, why do you look like you’re carrying a whole tent with you?

Oikawa ⇢ shamelessly tries to flirt and sweet talk the TSA agent, thinking she’ll let him go ahead first. ends up being bought into the small room for further questioning.

Iwaizumi  ⇢ sweaty and pants heavily as he performs sit-ups and push-ups while waiting for the boarding call. you’d be kind of grossed out and annoyed if he didn’t look so good doing it.

Matsukawa ⇢ very tipsy after one too many cocktails while waiting at T.G.I Fridays

Makki  ⇢ accidentally falls asleep on your shoulder after dozing off while sitting next to you. you let him because ✨airport romance✨, but then he drools on you.

Kuroo  ⇢ man in a suit, truly a sight for the eyes. eyes are glued to his phone the entire time, never looking up once, probably replying to some urgent business emails. you really don’t know but he looks good doing it. 

Kenma ⇢ sits outside the women bathroom because it was the only place where the walls have an outlet that wasn’t used. definitely uncomfortable with the glares of those entering into the bathroom, but his switch is running out of battery. Priorities.

Bokuto ⇢ he’s got it all: the neck pillow, the arm pillow, a pillow pet, two blankets, eye mask. he’s prepared to sleep the entire time on the flight.

Akaashi ⇢ that cute boy you see at the airport bookstore and tries to catch his eyes, but he’s genuinely too engrossed in choosing a book to read on the plane later to notice your efforts.

Ushijima ⇢ you can see him running a mile away. he’s got the stance of a track star. but I'm sorry, your flight left 30 minutes ago.

Tendou ⇢ misses his flight and tries to make conversation with you. very nice but a little too enthusiastic.

Atsumu ⇢ another runner, but not as graceful at Ushijima. shouts “MOVE. OUTTA MA WAY” as he comes cruising down to the gate. makes it on time, but barely.

Osamu ⇢ sits down next to you with a whole selection of snacks and pastries. will offer to share if he catches you eyeing his food. (my parents said not to take food from strangers, but maybe I can take your number?) 

Suna ⇢ face contorted into anger and disgust as he stares at his iPad. You pass by and hear him grumble about the stupid, weak wifi taking forever to download his Netflix watchlist

Kita ⇢ honestly, just a normal traveler. very polite (and handsome), offers to let you board first. will help you put your bag in the overhead compartment. my favorite kind of traveler

[elysianslove]

ay yo? lmao haiiiii any chance we can get some haikyuu boys and nicknames they'd call their s/o? a lil deprived of kageyama, so if possible can you pls include him?? i hope you're doing well :)

omg wait i remember seeing this in my inbox and planning on answering it but i ,,, i forgot :( im sorry :( but here it is lovely <3 

HAIKYUU BOYS AND NICKNAMES 

ANGEL ! — 

akaashi; out of all his nicknames for you, this is his favorite!! he just thinks it’s very fitting for you, because you’re nothing short of ethereal for him. loves to say it when he’s first greeting you or as he kisses you gn or!!! when he says thank you :) 

osamu; it slips sometimes with him!! not his go-to but it’s very familiar on his tongue when it comes to you, and that’s very endearing :,) just slips casually when he’s asking you a question like, “angel, do we need milk?”  

daichi; omg he usually adds to it and it ends up being some cheesy stuff like “angel-face” and it makes you all flustered because wtf man :( and he always says it while laughing teasingly too ugh :( 

suna; suna has the cheesiest nicknames for you and you cannot convince me otherwise, and you can never tell if it’s genuine or ironic but,,, it doesn’t matter. he sounds so sweet calling you “angel” so whatever :) 

aran; this man. this man. he says it cause he knows it has you weak. he says it so lovingly, so sweetly, so casually, so suave and relaxed and his voice is so smooth and deep. who wouldn’t be swooning over him??? 

aone; AONE AONE PLS AONE PLEASE. he’d just think it’s such a sweet and kind and soft nickname and he likes the way it sounds when it’s whispered and he thinks nothing is more perfect than nicknaming you angel and he says it all the time like “ok, angel,” and “see you tomorrow, angel,” and, “love you, angel,” and it’s so quiet but so sweet hwbwjsjd 

oikawa; he’s about to be in 90% of these cause he’ll be calling you anything but your name. is it because he wants to be annoying and to get on your nerves? or is it because he genuinely means it? the world will never know. you’re not even sure he himself does. 

DOLL ! — 

matsukawa; are you kidding me this is his. it’s HIS. he sounds so hot saying it and he looks so hot saying it and he’s so charming and it’s so like easy on his tongue. and he has a slight drawl to it too and he always says it with this aura of relaxation and ease it’s so hot. he just. he loves it. he loves you. you love it. the world is a better place. 

atsumu; he thinks he’s way cooler than he is when he says it. you suppose he is pretty hot when he calls you doll but you’re not gonna tell him that!!! it’s not his go-to but you can catch it slipping off his tongue every once in a while. 

kuroo; yesyesyes he loves it. only ever says it when he’s so up close and personal with you like cups your cheeks and hovers his lips against yours like, “heya, doll,” and he’s just so handsome. ugh. 

kageyama; at the start of your relationship, kageyama called you by your name and nothing else!! but then he had like this talk w someone and they asked him what he calls you and he realized like,,, am i supposed to be doing it differently??? spent so long just searching up “cute nicknames for my s/o” and then he found “doll” and was like ok. i’ll try. and he tried!! and it stuck!! plus timeskip kags calling you doll??? that’s so hot bye

oikawa; this might be the only sincere nickname he has for you cause everything else is either to provoke you or to be cringy and annoying. and i’m sure you prefer doll over sweet cheeks and pumpkin pie and cinnamon whatever like you hungry tōru?? anyways he loves loves loves calling you doll cause he thinks it’s such a ? smooth and serene nickname? and his voice always gets deeper and quiet when he says it so!!!! 

SUNSHINE ! — 

hinata; please he is all the sunshine, but he always claims that you’re the true sun in his life. idk hinata would be so lame yet so cute like that :( and he always says it with such a big grin he’s so cute pls :( 

tendō; he’s so cute he’s so cute he’s so cute !!!!! your contact name is “my sunshine” definitely definitely definitely. he is literally in love with you and wants the whole world to know it. he loves screaming it out for everyone to hear but also absolutely adores like hugging you from behind and whispering in your ear as he kisses your cheek, “hey, sunshine.” :(((((

kenma; kenma doesn’t wanna think too hard on the whole nicknames thing but he also does kind of sort of really wants to call you something special and the first thing that pops in his head is sunshine. first time he used it you were Shocked but he was acting nonchalant about it (read: freaking out on the inside) and you were like “ok guess im sunshine now.” and you are his sunshine to this day. 

BABY/BABE ! — 

atsumu; it’s easy and it’s endearing!! he personally loves being called babe but he loves hugging you close to him after a long day and just sighing, “hey, baby,” like. he loves it okay. he thinks it’s perfect cause it fits and cause it’s like kinda traditional yk!! 

bokuto; he loves calling you baby cause he just cannot fathom that you’re his like he loves to always say it!!! and he loves how casual it is too like he can just call you that?? that’s so cool?? 

iwaizumi; again with the traditional but endearing and fitting. he doesn’t have to think too hard on it, but also it still means something and is more than just your name or a shorter version of it. also he sounds so hot calling you baby or babe idk i just know it. 

hanamaki; king of “babe! babe :( babeeee! babee. babe come on! babe! baby :(” you’re 99% sure he’s just provoking you at this point. like say babe one more time. but he actually loves resorting to baby, especially when you’re upset and he wants to be as endearing and kind as he can to you. 

daichi; very traditional too tbh. honestly when you two first started dating it was all he could think of saying without feeling awkward or feeling like he was trying too hard. later on when he started to feel more comfortable and more secure he got more creative. 

nishinoya; he has been waiting for this moment his whole life. the moment he can actually call someone his baby or babe. it’s his favorite and possibly only nickname (aside calling you pretty or gorgeous or handsome) and it will always be. 

MY LOVE ! —

akaashi; definitely definitely definitely calls you “my love” like i am 100% sure of this. akaashi is just so. he’s just so romantic but it’s also so unintentional? he says it because it feels natural and it feels right like you are his love after all, aren’t you? 

sakusa; he’s not one for elaborate nicknames honestly, and he feels like “my love” is the right balance of sweet, kind, fitting, and subtle and serene. it’s not doing too much but it’s also doing more than enough yk? also people that look like they would wear a trench coat/blazer and a turtleneck beneath also look like they would use the term “my love” hence sakusa and akaashi. 

tendō; i am telling you guys he is a simp. the loveliest simp ever. he says it so sweetly too like it genuinely makes your tummy twist and heart backflip when you hear him say it cause you can hear how genuine he is in his words oh my god. 

kita; he just !!! he is just husband material okay!!! he is so endearing and he says it in the softest most genuine voice ever and it’s literally his go to because yes you are his love you’re his entire world!!! he loves you!! he wants you to know it every time he calls out to you!! 

BUNNY/PUPPY ! —

bokuto; ARE YOU KIDDING ME. HE LOVES IT. he. loves it. he just finds it so cute and like. he loves the way he associates it with you now. prefers puppy over bunny but like. he loves both. he adores both. 

matsukawa; calls you bunny all the time. not more than doll, but it’s definitely so common. he won’t use it around others not because it’s embarrassing but more because he kinda wants it to be just a thing between the two of you, honestly. 

kenma; IT SLIPPED ONCE AND HE WAS LIKE. A DEER CAUGHT IN THE HEADLIGHTS. he calls you bunny!! sometimes, not always. when he wants something from you mostly. “pass me the water.” “no.” “bunny please :(” it works like magic every time. 

oikawa; oh my god can you imagine??? he loves it so much because one, he thinks it’s such a cute nickname props to whoever decided let’s use pets as literal pet names, but also two, he thinks nothing describes you or fits you better. you are just his bunny :( his puppy :( he loves you :( 

kageyama; timeskip kageyama calls you puppy. i have nothing more to say.

hinata; timeskip hinata calls you puppy. again, i shall say no more. 

suna; hello !!! he loves to call you bunny and/or puppy. the feel of satisfaction he gets when he calls you that like ,,, he feels like you’re properly his yk? yk.

KITTEN ! — 

kuroo; this one is for him and only him. 

LOVELY ! — (maybe sweetheart too) 

osamu; is there anything more beautiful than a tired osamu snuggling up to yoi and with a deep gravely voice saying, “missed you, lovely,” ? no there is not. it’s his favorite nickname for you, and he uses it all the time!! kisses your forehead as he leaves and tells you, “have a good day, lovely,” and comes back home and says, “hiya, lovely,” and tilts his head when you wanna talk to him about something like, “what’s up lovely?” cause you are his lovely, you’re his loveliest. 

sugawara; i have no other explanation other than i can picture it perfectly. he thinks it’s the best choice of a pet name he’s ever chosen and thought of. and he loves the smile on your face whenever he says it, he thinks it’s the sweetest thing ever <3 

BAE ! —

hanamaki; is it a joke? is it not? both. 

okay im sure i missed so many boys but i can’t think of any rn bc it’s like. hella late :( but i wanted to put something out for you guys!! point is, if i didnt mention a boy and you want to know, send me an ask!! and if i didn’t mention a nickname and you want to know that too? send me an ask well!! ill be happy to answer it <3 

love u all mwah <3 

[oikawabelle]

Sad Beautiful Tragic

Kita Shinsuke x F!Reader

Genre: Angst

AN: Inspired by Taylor Swift's song. Don't forget to stream Red Taylor's Version! <3

Word count: 1885

We had a beautiful magic love there What a sad beautiful tragic love affair

Kita Shinsuke is every girl's ideal guy. He's kind, smart, a gentleman. Any girl would give anything just to be with him but what they don't know is that he is different when the doors close.

I am Y/N Tamioka, a second year student from Inarizaki High and I am the volleyball team captain's side chick.

It all started during my first year, I am well aware of his relationship with their manager but I still chose to confess my feelings for him and even offered to be his side chick. At first, he declined but I was persuasive and I didn't gave up until I finally had his attention.

We would meet every morning at school when no one is still around. We'd kiss each other passionately but he made it clear that he was only doing this because he can't do this with her. He would come to my house during the weekends and spend time with me and my family. He would help with my studies and help my mom in her mini garden. He would watch volleyball games with my father.

He was good at everything. Except for handling romantic relationships.

I was happy to oblige with every request he had until I found myself falling faster and harder--until my chest can no longer keep my pounding heart at bay.

"Y/N! Can you help me tape my fingers?" I nodded and walked towards Atsumu.

"We're so lucky to have you as our manager! Even when the seniors graduate, we're in good hands. Right, 'Samu?" He exclaimed.

"Of course! Y/N when will you be my girlfriend?" Osamu asked.

"Keep on dreaming 'Samu. You know she's not into that at the moment." Suna commented. His eyes locked onto the screen of his phone.

I just smiled. They all know that I prioritize my academics. What if they find out what's happening between me and Kita, would their opinions about me change?

I can feel a cold pair of eyes stare at my very being. Kita doesn't like it when other guys praise me. I wanted to scoff at my own thought. If only he'll leave her for me but that is far from reality.

After the practice, I was left alone with Osamu and what he said next made me sweat.

"I know there's something going on between you and Kita-san. I know you are aware that in the end, what you're playing right now is just a losing game."

I bit my lips and faced him. Tears pooling in my eyes.

Osamu dropped what he was holding and pulled me into a hug. It was warm. Something I never experienced with Kita.

"I know it's wrong but I just can't let go of him, 'Samu. Every time I see him happy with her, I don't have the right to be jealous. I just want his full attention. I don't want to live on scraps."

"Whatever happens, I'll be with you til the end."

That night, Osamu walked me home and when I was finally alone in the comfort of my own room, I brought out a piece of paper and started to write for Kita.

--

Months passed and it was the senior's last day in high school. It was tear-jerking for people who made memories with their seniors, for me, it will be the last time I'll be looking into his eyes.

"Kita-san, do you have a moment?" I asked.

He raised his brow at me, probably wondering why I didn't call him by his name.

All those months leading to this very moment, I tried my best to keep my emotions under the rugs. I pretended everything was okay between the two of us.

We are currently behind the gym. Far from prying eyes, trapped in our own world.

"Congratulations on graduating. What are you plans?" I asked.

He held my hand and grazed my knuckles with his thumb.

"I'll be taking over the farm, start a rice business, and a few years after that, finally settle down I guess. Why are you calling me by my last name?" He said calmly.

I closed my eyes. This will be the last time I'll hear his voice. His voice who lulled me to sleep during my sleepless nights. I squeezed his hand tightly, took a deep breath and finally let go of his.

He stared at me, unsure of what my actions are. I reached for my pockets and handed him the letter I wrote a few months ago. The last letter he'll ever receive from me.

"It was nice knowing you, Kita-san. This is the part when I finally let you go."

With tears streaming down my face, I pulled him into one last kiss. It was unlike our normal kisses. This one was bittersweet.

After that kiss, I ran as fast as I could. I heard him calling out my name but I didn't look back. My heart can't bear to see him anymore.

Kita's POV

It's been 4 years since the last time I saw Y/N. After graduating I learned that she moved out of town. How could she just leave without me knowing?

It was a tiring day from the field. Everyone's busy preparing for the upcoming rice festival.

I hung my straw hat by the door and went straight to my room.

I don't know why I couldn't sleep that night but I think it has something to do with Y/N coming home for this year's festival.

I don't know what to feel but one thing's for sure, I missed her. A lot. After that day when she left me behind the gym, I broke up with my girlfriend. I realized that it was Y/N right from the start.

--

Morning came and everyone from the Inarizaki Volleyball Team gathered at Osamu's restaurant. We were chatting with friends we haven't talked to for a while when Osamu went out of the kitchen with Y/N and she was as beautiful as I remembered her but there's one thing I couldn't take my eyes off of, her growing belly.

"I know you guys are shocked but we are really sorry that we kept it as a secret but we've been together since our senior year and finally tied the knot a year ago."

A deafening congratulations from the guys broke the silence as I stood there staring at her. Her eyes landed my way and I saw her smile again. That smile that I loved since the first time I saw it.

Everyone was busy talking to Osamu when I approached Y/N. I almost lost my balance when she pulled me into a hug. This scent. I missed this.

"You look more handsome than you ever did in high school, Shin." I felt my eyes water when I finally heard her voice again. It was this voice that calmed my demons. It was her voice that lulled me to sleep.

"And you're as radiant as ever, Y/N/ I missed you." I said, not letting go of her hands.

She smiled and squeezed my hands tightly. A habit she always had.

"I missed you too, Shin. How's the farm? Have you settled down already?"

I guided her to a seat and took the seat in front of her. I just smiled and slowly shook my head.

"I broke up with her the day after graduation. I realized that you were the person I was in love with and I'm still in love with you." I said. Not stuttering and just staring straight into her eyes.

"Shin..." Sadness evident in her eyes.

"Don't worry. I'm not here to destroy your family, Y/N. I know Osamu's taking good care of you. It's just that I wanted you to know how I really feel about you."

"I'm sorry I left without a word but for what it's worth, I was waiting for you at the train station the day I left. I told myself that if ever you arrive that day I'll fight for you, I'll fight for us but you never came and in that moment, I got my answer."

I was lost for words when I heard what she said. Did she mean the letter she gave me that day? The letter I never got to open?

"Y/N, I--I never got the chance to open your letter. I was so afraid of what it might contain. I was afraid that my heart couldn't take it and in all honesty, sitting here right in front of you, I am so afraid to never see you again." I said in all honesty, nearly choking on words because of the tears that are forming in my eyes.

She reached out for my hand and held them tightly. Sadness evident on her eyes.

"Maybe it's just not meant to be. Maybe we were both not ready to face the consequences of our actions and maybe there are people who are meant for us. I hope you'll find your happiness soon, Shin. You deserve the world."

Long handwritten note

Deep in your pocket

Words, how little they mean

When you're a little too late

The night went by so fast. Here I am sitting alone in my bedroom. Replaying the words she said to me earlier that night. With a heavy heart, I opened my drawer and saw the envelope that had aged with time. Its adhesive barely there.

Dear Shin,

I want to thank you for everything. Especially for the memories we were able to make even though what we had was short-lived. You became a safe haven for me and for that, I’ll always be grateful. You brought out the best, happiest and saddest version of myself. This connection is something I never thought the universe would let me have even for the tiniest fraction of the total number of days, months, years, or decades I have left in this lifetime. I really want to ask for your forgiveness. For the choices we made back then. I know it was wrong, but I still decided to spend a part of my life with you and when I made that choice, I felt genuine happiness, I felt contented and back then, when you wrapped me with your arms as we drifted to sleep, you really felt like home. You are my home. It's really funny because I knew where I stand and should've stayed there but you were like the ocean, as I kept walking, it was too late for me to realize that my lungs were already full of you and I was drowning in an ocean of dreams. I'm not here to make you choose. Despite of my feelings, I’ll always pray and have the best intentions for you. I hope you fulfill your dreams and be successful in life. You’ll always have a place in my heart. And if all of these was just a dream, know that you are the best dream I ever had. Take care of yourself. I'll be waiting for you at the train station on Sunday, 8 am."

Love,

Y/N

I held her letter tightly. Tears streaming down my face. Oh God, if only I could turn back time. Maybe our story would have a different ending.

What a sad beautiful tragic love affair

[theodora3022]

Good Morning, Or Good Night(ADA)

Summary: Morning and nights with the boys~ There is no NSFW, just cotton candy fluffs.

Notes:This is a mix of crack and fluff, enjoy! I wrote these under the presumption of the reader is a fellow agent of ADA and lives with the boys. I want to do something short and sweet to end the year before jumping back to my dear Dark Content abyss again haha.These hcs are ADA exclusive, and I will do a Port Mafia version in the near future featuring Chuuya, Akutagawa and Gin. (I didn’t do anything for the holidays besides the little joke post oops-)

If you love these I would love to see what other characters you want to see!

Edit: Now with a Port Mafia Version here!

Taglist:  @killuwumi​(Come and get your man Dazai ayyy),  @sunaswife​(Come get your man Ranpo)

Warning: Self indulgent, OOC, fluff

Dazai Osamu

Bedtime:????

When he is alone, Dazai loves having irregular sleeping schedules(2am he is researching how to hang himself properly). However, now he has you by his side, therefore things need to change/or not.

If you are an early riser, Dazai would be careful at night, to not wake you up. You want to cuddle him to sleep? Fine, guess he’ll stay with you for a while (ends up falling asleep too)

“Looks like you got me again, Belladonna! Well, that was a good rest, maybe we should do it more often.”

Chaotic sleeping schedules too? Well, don’t you two belong together. Dazai is willing to be flexible, as long as you are cool with it.

You would probably need to make Dazai breakfast. But since he is not that picky, whatever fills the stomach will do. (A/N: I would just throw some steamed-bun and milk on the table and be done with it)

Drag him out of bed and help him get dressed, especially his bandages, so you both can go to work on time!

Would absolutely sleep in during days off, or stay up all night, you better prepared yourself for these chaos!

Nakajima Atsushi

Bedtime:10pm

Good tiger boy with a decent sleeping schedule. But if you want to, Atsushi will pull all-nighters with you, expect him to be dead the following day.

Loves to cuddle! There is nothing he loves more than snuggling with you under a warm blanket in the harsh winters! (A/N: I lowkey want to cuddle with Tiger Atsushi though…)

“(Y/N), you are so warm, I wish I could do this forever…”

He will get up before you and make you breakfast. Probably have all your favourite dishes committed to memory, just one rotation every week. 

Would occasionally cook up something new to see your reaction.

Assuming you two live with Kyoka, she will be the one to wake you up after her and Atsushi finish cooking.

Pretty efficient in the morning, you only need to remind Atushi not to forget the keys, or he would get locked out again.

Kunikida Doppo

(Sorry not sorry for the crack gif)

Bedtime:9:30pm, but if you plead enough he will push it to 10.

Would be up since 5, muttering to himself while he makes plans for the day/week(if it’s a monday), writing them down in his notebook. (A/N: I would not be woken up by this, I slept through thunderstorms before)

Will force you to get up at a reasonable time(For him). If you insist after three warnings, Kunikida will take away your blankets and lure you to be up with the delicious smell of breakfast.

“Smell that Miso soup? You can have it once you stop being a winter dormouse and get up.”

I can see Kunikida being picky with food, so breakfast duty would fall to him. But if you want to help, he is more than happy to show you what to do. You can give him a kiss when he is chopping vegatables, it would make him all red and flustered >:)

Generally organized and calm, but Kunikida would blush if you help him to button up his shirts or tie his tie every time.

Edogawa Ranpo

Bedtime:11pm

Ranpo is not big on staying up, but he understands the appeal. Will never pull all nighters though, the great detective needs to preserve his sharp mind after all.

Also loves to cuddle, like you to hold him as if he is a big baby(A/N:he is, but that is beside the point)

“I’m getting up at seven tomorrow, so why don’t you come to bed with me? The bed is so cold without you, sugarcube...”

You two would take turns making breakfast. In the beginning when you are still figuring out each other’s likes and dislikes, there will be some commotion. Luckily Ranpo always got different flavoured donuts stored in one of the cupboards.

Help this man get dressed, comb his hair. Hold his hand while you two get to work by bus, and always have some lollipops in your purse in case he runs out of sweets.

(Sorry this is so short I’m not good with writing him)

[bokuroo-squeals]

"I love you, and you love me. Isn't that enough?"+ Best Friend's Brother with Osamu

If this does well, I might do a part 2 but I seriously don't think this is good. It's written a little to awkward for my liking.

Event masterlist here.

Stolen glances were your favorites, getting to be unapologetically in love with someone and your secret unknown to the world. In silence,you could appreciate him, the color of his eyes, the tip of his nose, how his eyes crinkled in delight when he laughed. Delicious moments where you could enjoy him.

By stolen glances was the only way in which you could reach Osamu like the idiot in love you were, because you knew that if his brother ever found out how hard your heart beats for him, not only would he be scandalized, you also believed that he would also feel betrayed. After all, Atsumu had vocalized plenty of times his disdain at the thought of you and his brother together.

You were a good friend, you really were, and while you couldn't stop from falling har for his brother- yet you admit that you loved every second of your feelings- at least you did stop yourself from acting on them, as much as it was possible. Of course you tried, though it was hard when his own brother looked at you with a glint so fond on his eyes, when his warm hands seemed to find yours with no problem when you were close, but never reaching for them, just enough to brush yours and give you a taste of what they feel like.

You continue to watch Osamu form the distance, in your seat next to his brother while the younger twin laughs at something Suna said, and his laugh could be at his friend's words, but his eyes are on you. He turns his head to the game they're playing, the sofa small with two big bodies like theirs seating in them.

"Say, Y/n" Atsumu calls for your attention, looking at the sealing deep in thoughts. "Would you be interested in me setting you up with someone"

The spit in your mouth makes you choke with his words.

How were you supposed to react to the sudden proposition, and what were you supposed to say? Should you tell him that the only guy you're interested in at the moment was his twin? The brother that he prohibited you from dating since day one?

You're eyes travel again to Osamu, who isn't looking at you, but with the way his eyebrows furrow, you are aware of him listening, and your poor heart can't handle the pressure. By the sight of it, he doesn't seem to happy about the conversation Atsumu is intending to have, and neither are you but it's not like you can't tell him that, so with a sigh, one you hope sounds tired and annoyed enough to convince him, you kindly reject the direction he wants to take.

"No, thanks" cool, calm, you remember, stay cool and calm. Yet, Atsumu can't read the room, or chooses not to do it, as always, and continues despites it.

"C'mon, you can't be single forever. I know this guy, he saw a photo of you and he's interested in meeting you" he moves to face you, a self-satisfied smile on it, as if he is about to make something incredible by setting you up– he's not, in fact, you think he's really stupid in this moment– and his brows nudged towards you like an invitation to say yes.

By now, you're too afraid to turn to steal a glance at his brother, being it for a fear of how pissed you think he might be, or because of the fear of the blond catching you, either way, your eyes stayed focused on your idiotic best friend.

"I don't care, you're lame and so must be your friend" with a hand pushing him away, you're about to end the conversation "Anyways, instead of focusing on my love life, you should start one yourself" you huffed, ending the talk.

Atsumu pouts, and while he's not pleased with your crude answer, he listens, leaving you alone. Although that doesn't mean he's dropping his irritating antics, finding another prey, his brother.

"How about you, 'Samu? There's this girl I already rejected, but I guess she'll be interested on a date with you. Obviously, I am the handsome twin, but you're not that bad yourself"

It's not your place, it really isn't, to say no, to tell your friend to fuck off and leave Osamu alone because you want to be the only one for him. But you seriously want to do it, shout that he can't set up his brother with a random girl because you feel like he already belongs to you. And you know it's selfish, that's why you stay silent, with an invisible scowl and gritted teeth and fists clenching a little too hard.

For the nth time that night, Osamu's eyes land on your figure, meeting your's in the process. The difference is, that this time, he's look is both cold and hot. Cold as if they're telling you how tired they are, and hot as if to tell you he's ready to make you step up your game, almost challenging you.

"Yeah, of course, just know that once she's met me, she'll have clear who's the better twin. Won't even remember a thing 'bout you" Osamu's smirk is teasing, and everyone could say it was towards his brothers, but you knew better. It was dedicated to you.

A pang of something hurts in your chest, maybe of jealousy, and maybe it's the pain of hearing him giving up on whatever you're supposed to have. It's wrong, you're feeling the guilt of those sensations, because you're the one that has pushed him off, denying every single advice that could have been done, and still, you want him just for you.

It isn't until hours later, when Suna has left and Atsumu has fallen asleep when you talk for the first time this day, aside from the greetings.

You stand in the kitchen, a glass of water in your hand, trying to calm how agitated your insides are. At this point, the twins have left a disaster of your mind and heart, coming like a hurricane of emotions that hits you hard enough to hurt. A part of you wants to scream, declare your undying love for him, for his deep voice and calming irises, declare that he's yours and yours only– you remind yourself that he isn't– but the other side of you is too afraid, afraid of hurting the one person that has been next to you through everything and anything, the one who has picked up the broken pieces and helped you come back as one stronger version. You don't want to hurt or hurt anyone, which it's so damn hard in your position, but you know that you'd never forgive your heart if you let down Atsumu, if you even dare to disappoint him.

Osamu's entrance pulls you out of your trance, successfully taking your attention towards him, although he appears to ignore your presence, walking past you without a word. Painful, that's too painful for you.

"Osamu…" you trailed off, trying to make you as small as you can.

"Save it. I'm not in the mood to talk to you" he's cold, and you hate it, he's never been like this to you, but you can't blame him either. While he's cold, there's just the tiniest hint of anger on his voice, making you more unsettled.

"I'm sorry! I don't want to hurt you, you know that, is just that–" he interrupts you. He's pissed, his eyes show it, his chest puffs and shoulders tense, a sight you never want to see again.

"It doesn't matter, it's not like we're anything, anyway" his words cut deep inside you, damn they do.

You wished you could unhear the pain behind what he says, but it's right there, and it shows his vulnerability.

"That's not true… you know how I feel about you"

"Then let's do something about it! I love you and you love me, isn't that enough?!" The raw emotion touches your insides in the most painful but delicious way. You want to hold him close and comfort him, yet you don't think you have the right to do it. "So what if my brother doesn't approve it?! Are we supposed to forget about how we feel? Am I supposed to ignore how much I love when our hands meet? How much do I adore the way you look at me?! Or pretend that I'm burning to kiss you?! I'm sorry, Y/n but I don't care anymore about anything Atsumu has to say at this point."

He comes your way with big steps, and you coward a little at the sudden movement, and then he kisses you. A kiss is full of irritation, annoyance, love, care, all the bottled up feelings showing in a kiss that says more than words.

"I'm not hiding up how I feel anymore, so this is me officially asking you to be mine. You can reject me and we'll forget this happened, or you can accept and we'll face Atsumu, together".

Your answer is obvious, coming in the form of another kiss, one that's more tender, sweet and short.

[cassanovancats]

felicitate. four.

three < current > five

March 2017

White Day is only a few days away when you begin to notice Rika’s form is absent from your training sessions lately. There shouldn’t be any reason for this, at least not one you’re aware of. Your class celebrated Yuta’s birthday just two days ago, and both the curse and cursed seemed fine, great even. You decide it’s best to bring this up casually - Yuta was still so skittish and Rika would be able to hear whatever you said anyways. So while you lead Yuta through a yoga session, you ask, “How’s Rika?”

He flusters and falls from his side-plank variation pose. The band he was using as an aid tangles around his calf. You debate and decide to leave him. If you touched him now, he might spontaneously combust. That thought makes you giggle a little. You move to change to a position that meant you weren’t looking at him. Hopefully, that’s less pressure.

Yuta speaks up when you’re fully downward dog, leading you to believe your plan worked. “She’s fine, yeah, fine. Just uh - tired?” You nod but inwardly roll your eyes. You shift your hips in to move to upward facing dog and make eye contact again.

“Just checking. I miss her hanging out, you know?” It’s obvious Yuta just lied, curses don’t get tired, but it’s better to not call him out this time. You just have to hope it wasn’t anything you did. “I know you fell but at this point you’re just slacking. Get back on your mat,” you say, changing the topic to something safe.

You’re back in downward facing dog when the door slides open. A familiar voice drawls, “Why are you still working out, dummy? Forgot our plans?” You scramble to your feet.

“Gumi!” You rush to hug him despite his obvious distaste. “What time is it? Do I still have time to shower or will we be late?”

Your little brother snorts and pushes you away, “Please do, you smell. You have,” he checks his watch, “fifteen minutes.”

“Gumi! That’s not enough time!” You yell, already sprinting towards the showers at the back of the gym. Yuta pouts at how quickly you seemed to forget his presence. That face doesn’t escape Megumi.

“So, you like my idiot sister?”

“W-what! No, no no no, it’s not like that! She just helps t-train me and -!” Yuta knows he’s rambling but he can’t seem to stop talking.

“Whatever,” Megumi has better things to worry about than repressed hormones. He's known that Yuta had a crush on you since the first time he came to campus to train with you after Yuta arrived. Your classmate couldn’t stop staring and seemed disheartened by the fact that you called Megumi by a shortened version of his given name. He had pouted until Satoru showed up and made a spectacle of ‘Team Gojo’ being all together again. Like you three didn’t, at minimum, have a weekly dinner together.

“If you ever want to acknowledge them, you’ll have to get approved by Satoru.” Yuta feels like he also needs the approval of this boy, but he leaves that unsaid. Just nods dumbly. Probably a good thing he didn’t respond, because you barrel through the doors you disappeared from.

When you rush past him, Yuta gets a strong whiff of the floral scent he’s come to associate with you. Megumi laughs under his breath at the blissed out look. Your hair drips water onto your tee shirt and it’s clear you rushed. “Really, really sorry to dip, Yuta. Run through those stretches we did last week to cool down!” Your fingers distractedly pull your wet hair into a braid as you instruct him. “Oh! Tell Maki I won’t be at afternoon training, Satoru already knows and gave permission. Megumi, grab my duffel?” Already carrying it, he rolls his eyes. “I should be back tomorrow morning, but don’t count on it.”

“Wait, but why -?”

“Gotta dash. Bye, Yuta!” You run ahead of your brother, headed to your room to grab Tsumiki’s gifts. Megumi gives a nod and follows after you. Alone and without anyone around to judge, Yuta groans and buries his face into his yoga mat. God, why can’t he just be normal.

When he looks back up, Rika has taken your spot on your mat. You left in such a hurry, you didn’t even clean up. He’ll have to drop it off in your room. “Ya’ know, it’s not that I’m mad about you liking her,” she begins. “It’s just…. I know we can’t be together so I do want you to be happy. I just feel jealous. Especially since you got her that super fancy chocolate for White Day,” Rika finishes with a pout.

Yuta doesn’t really know how to reassure her. So he does what he promised when he was ten, and is just honest. “I’m here to learn how to let you go, Rika. Neither of us know how to do that yet. I can’t be in any kind of relationship until I learn. It wouldn’t be fair to either of you.”

Rika hums and picks at the corner of your mat. “Well. I think it’s more than just us two you’re worried about.”

“What?”

“Inumaki seems pretty interested in the both of you too. You may not see it, but all three of you are pretty smitten. It’s actually kind of gross.”

“That’s - he - no!” Rika just laughs and dissolves her form. Yuta, still flustered, continues to mutter as he collects the things you left and wipes down any used equipment. When he finally leaves, it’s just his luck he runs (literally) into Inumaki who looks unfairly handsome in a fitted tee and sweatpants. Even his markings are uncovered, which makes Yuta groan, tuck tail, and run away. Yuta can hear Rika laughing in his mind.

“Tuna mayo?” Inumaki tilts his head to the side but shrugs off the odd behavior.

-

July 2017

JJH Thots the good gojo: guysss help which tie do i get :( fushiguro: isn’t satoru with you the good gojo: yea but u know he’s shit at gifts maki: Both of those are ugly, (y/n). Do you hate the man? osamu: the cheetah print trophy husband: I like that one too! the good gojo: this is why you two are my favorites

From a few cities over, Yuta flushes at your words. Inumaki notices and kicks his foot. He’s laughing when he says, “Nori,” but Yuta can spot a faint pink over the hem of his collar too.

You turn around in the middle of the street when you hear a loud, “(y/n)-chan!” Satoru is speed-walking towards you, waving an arm that is covered in different shopping bags. His long legs have him beside you in a split second, even without the use of cursed energy. “Are you done yet? Nanami won’t even thank you properly you know. Why don’t you just get gifts for your precious Nii-chan?” He pouts and takes the two bags you’re carrying.

“One, it’s not your birthday. Two, you could buy anything you want already. Three, who's to say I didn’t already get you one?” You pull a box of macaroons out from one of the bags he took. Satoru moves to snatch it immediately but you put it behind your back. Of course, if he wanted, he’d just grab it, but your Nii-chan would never deny playing a game with you. “You can’t get it until we’re back on campus! I’m already tired and this is my bribe to go home early.”

“But (y/n)-chan,” he whines.

“Nu-uh. I promised a movie night with Toge and Yuta and I don’t wanna be late.” You realize too late you revealed too much, because your brother suddenly looks like a very successful cat.

“Why didn’t you just say so? I would never make my little sister late for her first date.”

You blush furiously, “Who says it’s my first?”

“It better be your first.”

“It’s not even a date,” you roll your eyes. “Neither like me like that, and if it was a date, wouldn’t one be a third-wheel?”

“Tricycles are pretty fun.” Your brother says casually. You roll your eyes again and add a gag for good measure. “Seriously, (y/n). You should know you have my full support to love anyone and everyone you want. Not that you need it, though. You’re a Gojo. We do as we please anyways.”

You tear up at his sincerity and throw your arms around your brother, or at least the best you can with his bags in the way. The two of you are frequently physically and verbally affectionate but not often in such a serious manner. You know there’s a deep love between you; for a long time, the two of you only had each other. Eventually, your family expanded to include Megumi and Tsumiki, but neither ever took the Gojo name. You and Satoru had a special bond. “Thank you,” you stutter around tears. You hope he understands it’s not just a thank you for the reassurance but a thank you for giving you such a life.

“Come on, no crying. You can’t go on your date with puffy eyes, you’ll scare both of them away.” He pats your head softly and just laughs when you punch him in the gut.