oikawabelle

[oikawabelle]

Sad Beautiful Tragic

Kita Shinsuke x F!Reader

Genre: Angst

AN: Inspired by Taylor Swift's song. Don't forget to stream Red Taylor's Version! <3

Word count: 1885

We had a beautiful magic love there What a sad beautiful tragic love affair

Kita Shinsuke is every girl's ideal guy. He's kind, smart, a gentleman. Any girl would give anything just to be with him but what they don't know is that he is different when the doors close.

I am Y/N Tamioka, a second year student from Inarizaki High and I am the volleyball team captain's side chick.

It all started during my first year, I am well aware of his relationship with their manager but I still chose to confess my feelings for him and even offered to be his side chick. At first, he declined but I was persuasive and I didn't gave up until I finally had his attention.

We would meet every morning at school when no one is still around. We'd kiss each other passionately but he made it clear that he was only doing this because he can't do this with her. He would come to my house during the weekends and spend time with me and my family. He would help with my studies and help my mom in her mini garden. He would watch volleyball games with my father.

He was good at everything. Except for handling romantic relationships.

I was happy to oblige with every request he had until I found myself falling faster and harder--until my chest can no longer keep my pounding heart at bay.

"Y/N! Can you help me tape my fingers?" I nodded and walked towards Atsumu.

"We're so lucky to have you as our manager! Even when the seniors graduate, we're in good hands. Right, 'Samu?" He exclaimed.

"Of course! Y/N when will you be my girlfriend?" Osamu asked.

"Keep on dreaming 'Samu. You know she's not into that at the moment." Suna commented. His eyes locked onto the screen of his phone.

I just smiled. They all know that I prioritize my academics. What if they find out what's happening between me and Kita, would their opinions about me change?

I can feel a cold pair of eyes stare at my very being. Kita doesn't like it when other guys praise me. I wanted to scoff at my own thought. If only he'll leave her for me but that is far from reality.

After the practice, I was left alone with Osamu and what he said next made me sweat.

"I know there's something going on between you and Kita-san. I know you are aware that in the end, what you're playing right now is just a losing game."

I bit my lips and faced him. Tears pooling in my eyes.

Osamu dropped what he was holding and pulled me into a hug. It was warm. Something I never experienced with Kita.

"I know it's wrong but I just can't let go of him, 'Samu. Every time I see him happy with her, I don't have the right to be jealous. I just want his full attention. I don't want to live on scraps."

"Whatever happens, I'll be with you til the end."

That night, Osamu walked me home and when I was finally alone in the comfort of my own room, I brought out a piece of paper and started to write for Kita.

--

Months passed and it was the senior's last day in high school. It was tear-jerking for people who made memories with their seniors, for me, it will be the last time I'll be looking into his eyes.

"Kita-san, do you have a moment?" I asked.

He raised his brow at me, probably wondering why I didn't call him by his name.

All those months leading to this very moment, I tried my best to keep my emotions under the rugs. I pretended everything was okay between the two of us.

We are currently behind the gym. Far from prying eyes, trapped in our own world.

"Congratulations on graduating. What are you plans?" I asked.

He held my hand and grazed my knuckles with his thumb.

"I'll be taking over the farm, start a rice business, and a few years after that, finally settle down I guess. Why are you calling me by my last name?" He said calmly.

I closed my eyes. This will be the last time I'll hear his voice. His voice who lulled me to sleep during my sleepless nights. I squeezed his hand tightly, took a deep breath and finally let go of his.

He stared at me, unsure of what my actions are. I reached for my pockets and handed him the letter I wrote a few months ago. The last letter he'll ever receive from me.

"It was nice knowing you, Kita-san. This is the part when I finally let you go."

With tears streaming down my face, I pulled him into one last kiss. It was unlike our normal kisses. This one was bittersweet.

After that kiss, I ran as fast as I could. I heard him calling out my name but I didn't look back. My heart can't bear to see him anymore.

Kita's POV

It's been 4 years since the last time I saw Y/N. After graduating I learned that she moved out of town. How could she just leave without me knowing?

It was a tiring day from the field. Everyone's busy preparing for the upcoming rice festival.

I hung my straw hat by the door and went straight to my room.

I don't know why I couldn't sleep that night but I think it has something to do with Y/N coming home for this year's festival.

I don't know what to feel but one thing's for sure, I missed her. A lot. After that day when she left me behind the gym, I broke up with my girlfriend. I realized that it was Y/N right from the start.

--

Morning came and everyone from the Inarizaki Volleyball Team gathered at Osamu's restaurant. We were chatting with friends we haven't talked to for a while when Osamu went out of the kitchen with Y/N and she was as beautiful as I remembered her but there's one thing I couldn't take my eyes off of, her growing belly.

"I know you guys are shocked but we are really sorry that we kept it as a secret but we've been together since our senior year and finally tied the knot a year ago."

A deafening congratulations from the guys broke the silence as I stood there staring at her. Her eyes landed my way and I saw her smile again. That smile that I loved since the first time I saw it.

Everyone was busy talking to Osamu when I approached Y/N. I almost lost my balance when she pulled me into a hug. This scent. I missed this.

"You look more handsome than you ever did in high school, Shin." I felt my eyes water when I finally heard her voice again. It was this voice that calmed my demons. It was her voice that lulled me to sleep.

"And you're as radiant as ever, Y/N/ I missed you." I said, not letting go of her hands.

She smiled and squeezed my hands tightly. A habit she always had.

"I missed you too, Shin. How's the farm? Have you settled down already?"

I guided her to a seat and took the seat in front of her. I just smiled and slowly shook my head.

"I broke up with her the day after graduation. I realized that you were the person I was in love with and I'm still in love with you." I said. Not stuttering and just staring straight into her eyes.

"Shin..." Sadness evident in her eyes.

"Don't worry. I'm not here to destroy your family, Y/N. I know Osamu's taking good care of you. It's just that I wanted you to know how I really feel about you."

"I'm sorry I left without a word but for what it's worth, I was waiting for you at the train station the day I left. I told myself that if ever you arrive that day I'll fight for you, I'll fight for us but you never came and in that moment, I got my answer."

I was lost for words when I heard what she said. Did she mean the letter she gave me that day? The letter I never got to open?

"Y/N, I--I never got the chance to open your letter. I was so afraid of what it might contain. I was afraid that my heart couldn't take it and in all honesty, sitting here right in front of you, I am so afraid to never see you again." I said in all honesty, nearly choking on words because of the tears that are forming in my eyes.

She reached out for my hand and held them tightly. Sadness evident on her eyes.

"Maybe it's just not meant to be. Maybe we were both not ready to face the consequences of our actions and maybe there are people who are meant for us. I hope you'll find your happiness soon, Shin. You deserve the world."

Long handwritten note

Deep in your pocket

Words, how little they mean

When you're a little too late

The night went by so fast. Here I am sitting alone in my bedroom. Replaying the words she said to me earlier that night. With a heavy heart, I opened my drawer and saw the envelope that had aged with time. Its adhesive barely there.

Dear Shin,

I want to thank you for everything. Especially for the memories we were able to make even though what we had was short-lived. You became a safe haven for me and for that, I’ll always be grateful. You brought out the best, happiest and saddest version of myself. This connection is something I never thought the universe would let me have even for the tiniest fraction of the total number of days, months, years, or decades I have left in this lifetime. I really want to ask for your forgiveness. For the choices we made back then. I know it was wrong, but I still decided to spend a part of my life with you and when I made that choice, I felt genuine happiness, I felt contented and back then, when you wrapped me with your arms as we drifted to sleep, you really felt like home. You are my home. It's really funny because I knew where I stand and should've stayed there but you were like the ocean, as I kept walking, it was too late for me to realize that my lungs were already full of you and I was drowning in an ocean of dreams. I'm not here to make you choose. Despite of my feelings, I’ll always pray and have the best intentions for you. I hope you fulfill your dreams and be successful in life. You’ll always have a place in my heart. And if all of these was just a dream, know that you are the best dream I ever had. Take care of yourself. I'll be waiting for you at the train station on Sunday, 8 am."

Love,

Y/N

I held her letter tightly. Tears streaming down my face. Oh God, if only I could turn back time. Maybe our story would have a different ending.

What a sad beautiful tragic love affair

[oikawabelle]

Rewrite the Stars - Part II

Characters: Shinsuke Kita, Tsukishima Kei, Oikawa Tōru and Fem Reader

Genre: Angst but with a happy ending because everyone deserves one

Word count: 1489

Prologue | Part 1 

“Runaway with me.” he said in a heartbeat.

I pushed him away and looked at his eyes. I hated the fact that his brown eyes showed sincerity and not lies.

I felt my heart beat like roaring fireworks in the night sky. I was so tempted by his offer but the consequences of such decision flooded through my mind.

We’ll both lose the position that we have now. We’ll be considered enemy of the kingdom. Who knows how long this feeling of burning passion for each other will last? We might end up blaming each other when the time comes when the candles of our love for each other have burnt out.

Different scenarios rushed in like crashing waves. Tōru shook me from my trance and when I looked at him again, I know he already knew what my answer would be.

He let go of our embrace and took a step back away from me. I tried to reach out but I saw his face etched with hurt and anger.

“I knew it. How long have I’ve been away? You stopped sending me letters and now that I’m getting married to your sister, you do nothing but to stand by idly. You never really loved me.” He said with an accusing tone.

I tried to defend myself but in an instant, he turned his back away from me and starting walking. I wanted to tell him how much I wanted to send him more letters but things in the kingdom had been so grave that I didn’t even had the time to rest.

I fell on my knees and leaned on the tree beside me. I closed my eyes and remembered the first time we met as if it was just yesterday.

Flashback from 3 years ago (Tōru is 18 while Y/N is 15)

“Your highness, your magic lessons ends today. You may have the rest of the day to yourself.” The High Priestess said and I bowed and thanked her before leaving the classroom.

Ever since I first manifested with magical abilities, the King had sent me to master it. He said that I’ll be the next High Priestess when I grow up. And I totally agree with his statement. Who cares if I will never be the crown princess? As if I wanted to be married off to some man I never met.

I was strolling along the corridors when I passed by the training grounds for the future knights. I’ve heard that they started training ever since they were 10 years old.

I was watching them intently when a guy with gray hair and black tips stared at me as if I was an unidentified specie.

I raised a brow and put my hands on the side of my hips. “What are you looking at sly fox?”

He blinked three times and continued to stare until he turned his back away from me and started to return to their training.

What was that?! First he stared at me, not even greeting me properly and now that I asked him, I didn’t even get any answer? Ugh!

I was so frustrated that I threw my spell book towards him when a brown haired boy chimed in and got hit instead.

“Shinsu--OUCH!!” It was him who got hit by my spell book.

I frantically walked towards the boy and started casting a healing spell.

“I’m really sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you.” I said, tears forming in my eyes.

“I-It’s okay....” He said shyly, staring at me as if something was on my face.

I got shy and bowed my head and silently healed the boy.

“I’m Tōru. Oikawa Tōru. It’s my first time seeing a young mage apprentice who’s really cute.” He said out of the blue and I felt blood rushed through my cheeks.

Should I tell him who I really am? He might change his behavior towards me if he knew my real identity. So I decided to use my mother’s family name.

“I’m Y/N Veldié.” I said looking at his eyes. His brown eyes was like the black hole. I can feel myself getting sucked into it. Before he can say anything else, the sly fox appeared again pulling him by his ear.

“Quit dawdling around and go back to training.” He said in a cold stern voice.

My face immediately turned sour. If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t have hurt Oikawa.

I was about to say something when a blonde haired boy approached us.

“Even though you guys are my seniors, I hope you won’t forget about our training. What is this girl even doing here? Tch.” He said coldly.

“Excuse me? I was trying to heal your friend!”

“He’s not my friend and aren’t you the reason why he got hurt in the first place? If you weren’t throwing things around like a madman no one should’ve gotten hurt.” He snorts.

I was about to say something when Oikawa went in between us and sorted things out.

“Hold your horses kids, I’m fine. Let’s just go back to training Shinsuke and Kei. Thank you for healing me, Y/N. I hope we see each other again.” He said with a smile on his face.”

The annoying feeling I felt towards the sly fox and the beanstalk was replaced by butterflies in my stomach. I nodded and picked up my book.

I bid them good bye and hurriedly went to ride the carriage waiting for me outside. It looks like my time in the academy will be fun.

As the months went by, I learned that Tsukishima was a year older than me and both Oikawa and Kita were 3 years older than me. I started to be close with those three boys. Especially with Oikawa. We had picnic together and even went hunting together--of course without my father knowing. He would be angry if he finds out that a princess is out hunting without any guards to guide me.

These three boys made my stay in the academy worth while. Imagine their shock when they saw me at the knighting ceremony.

“You are a princess and you never told us?!” Kei said when we were out in our usual picnic spot.

“Will your attitude towards me change if you knew?” I said, munching on the peanut butter sandwich Shinsuke made.

“Well--maybe? I don’t know. You could’ve gotten us punished you know.” He said while eating.

“Don’t worry. They don’t really care about me that much because I’m not the crown princess.” I said.

There was complete silence after I said those words. Don’t tell me they are going to pity me now? I was about to say something when Shinsuke started talking.

“Crown princess or not, we’re here to take care of you now.”

I swear I felt my body tremble when I heard those words. Maybe it’s just because the weather is chilly now that it’s the fall season.

We continued with our picnic and enjoyed as the sun set and the maple leaves fell.

Tsukishima went home earlier because he said he had to celebrate with his family. Shinuske left a few minutes earlier and now Tõru and I are left alone under the night sky.

“Y/N I love you.” He said breaking the silence.

I looked at him in suprise, how could he love someone like me?

“I--”

“Shh you don’t have to answer now. It’s just that now that we are knights, we will be going to battle and I don’t know when it will end so I want to confess to you right here. Right now.” He said, looking intently at me.

“Promise me you’ll write for me?” He said and I nodded.

It’s the first time someone said they loved me other than my mother and I couldn’t be more happier than that.

We watched the stars silently. Him, holding me in a tight embrace. Oh, God please don’t take this away from me.

End of flashback

I opened my eyes and saw Shinsuke in front of me holding out a handkerchief.

I haven’t noticed that my tears were already falling. What if I said the words I love you too back that night. Would things be different?

“Why are you crying? Is it because of Tōru?” He said straightforwardly.

I can’t help but frown at him. Sometimes, well most of the time, Shinsuke can really be insensitive. Or maybe he’s just frank.

“You guessed it right. Why do I feel like I’m losing you to the kingdom? Am I selfish?” I asked. I hated how desperate I sound.

“No, you’re not losing us. You’re definitely not losing me.” He said in full conviction.

Just like that night, I felt something weird again. It must the fatigue. I closed my eyes and leaned my head on his shoulder. At least now I know, I’ll never lose a friend like Shin.

To be continued.

[oikawabelle]

Rewrite the Stars - Part I

Characters: Shinsuke Kita, Tsukishima Kei, Oikawa Tōru and Fem Reader Genre: Angst but with a happy ending because everyone deserves one

Word count:

Read the prologue here

Y/N's POV

It was a cold chilly day, I was walking at the garden admiring the variety of flowers when I saw the knights of the roses walking my way.

The knights of the roses are the top 3 knights in the Kingdom of Adelié. They have led an army of brave men and have slain every enemy and have conquered 4 kingdoms for the past 3 years. They are the pride of our kingdom.

"Good day to you, second princess." Tōru said, as the three of them took the knee.

I smiled gently and showed them my respects.

"Good day to you as well, my Lord. What brings you here at the Imperial Palace?" I asked, the two knights behind him looked at each other, their names were Shinsuke and Kei.

"The King has requested an audience, my princess."

I nodded to his response and moved out of their way. They must have something important to talk about to have been called by my father.

As they were walking away I can't help but stare a him. I sighed. Maybe I should've sent him more letters when he was away at war. But, how could I? I never received any reply. He might think I'm too obsessed.

"Your majesty? The king is looking for you. He said to go at the throne hall right now." Said Lord Dewey, my father's most trusted knight.

I nodded and began walking while my ladies-in-waiting, Alice & Natasha, walked behind me.

"My lady, we've heard the servants awhile ago that one of the knights will be betrothed to the crown princess." Alice stated when we were alone.

I bit my lip. It couldn't be him right?

"Do you know who will be betrothed to my sister?"

"We didn't have any information but people are starting to speculate that it will be Lord Tsukishima while others are betting on Lord Oikawa." Natasha replied.

I nodded and shook my head to clear my thoughts. I shouldn't be worrying. The king will make wise decisions if he wants to strengthen our ties with the knights of the roses.

When I arrived at the throne hall, everyone was quiet, except for my god forsaken sister, Hitoka. She was snickering at me, as if she knew that I'll be late again.

"It's nice to see you healthy, Your Majesty." I said, still bowing my head.

"And to you as well, second princess." my father said.

I stood beside Hitoka and her ladies-in-waiting. I hated her. Not because I’m jealous of her, but because she made my life in the palace a living hell. I am aware of my origins. I am born out of wedlock by the king and the duchess of the House Veldié. My father was arranged to be married with Hitoka’s mother, the Empress, that’s why even though I’m older than her, she was chosen to be the crown princess.

I don’t really mind about the title really, it is easier for me to attend to the matters that are necessary in protecting the kingdom than having tea parties and endless banquets with the nobles.

i am a sorceress and I am in charge of fortifying the kingdom’s barrier from outside attacks.

“I have called you all today to announce the incoming marriage of the Crown Princess Hitoka Evergreen and to the Captain of the Knights of the Roses, Lord Oikawa Tōru.” My father announced.

I almost lost my balance because of his announcement. So the rumors were true? I looked at Hitoka and I saw her wicked smile. I knew it. This was her plan. What Hitoka wants, Hitoka gets, That’s how our life as sisters have always been.

The two of them went to the King and knelt to receive his grace. Once we take a step out of this hall, the palace will be busy preparing for the royal wedding.

Everyone in the room was ecstatic with the news. If only they heard how my heart broke to a million pieces like glass that fell from the top of the tower. Will they empathize with me? Or will they pity me like I am a crazy woman who doesn’t know my place in the kingdom?

When everyone was busy congratulating the newly betrothed couple, I approached the king and excuse myself. Even though the room was big enough to accommodate half of the kingdom’s population, I couldn’t help but to feel myself gasping for air. It’s like someone has a tight grip around my throat.

“Your Highness, I’ll be taking my leave. I need to meet with the mages of the land about the impending airstrike from the Kingdom of Fearths.”

“Very well. I expect a report from you as always, second princess.” 

Once we’re out of the throne hall, I dismissed my ladies-in-waiting. I told them to go ahead to my house. I went to the place where I can cry my heart out. A hidden lake within the palace. This used to be my mother’s special place. This is where she used to tell me stories of lovers that had their happily ever after.

i smiled bitterly at the thought. I am certainly not at the right age to believe in such fairytales.

I was watching the swan swim across the lake when I felt his presence behind me. I leaned back and stared at the clouds. Damn it, I can feel my eyes swell up again.

“Hi, how have you been, my princess?” He said. Almost a whisper.

“Not that good, my Lord.”

Silence. That was took over for the past few minutes.

“I missed you.” He said, breaking the silence.

“And I’ll always do.” I said when suddenly I can feel his cold armor against my face.

How I missed this warmth for the past 3 years since he went away for war.

“Runaway with me.”

To be continued

[oikawabelle]

Rewrite the Stars

Characters: Shinsuke Kita, Tsukishima Kei, Oikawa Tooru and Fem Reader

Genre: Angst but with a happy ending because everyone deserves one

A/N: It’s my first time to write again after a few years. I hope I can write something that will satisfy the readers

_________________________________________________________________

Prologue

Every second I spend with you, I can’t help but to feel guilt and anger.

How did we end up this way?

As the raging fire continued to eat everything blocking its path, I looked at your eyes. When was the last time he looked at me like this?

“Y/N, are you alright? There’s nothing to be scared of. I’m here now.” The certainty in his voice calmed my slowly beating heart.

Right, I’m dying. Who wouldn’t when you’re stabbed straight to your heart by the person you loved the most?

I smiled bitterly and weakly, staring at the person right in front of me now.

“If only I could rewrite the stars, I would’ve chosen you.” I said, almost a whisper.

I felt his grasp around my dying body tighten. How can fate be this cruel?

“I love you, Y/N. In your next life, please choose me. I’ll be waiting.”

Those were the last words I heard when everything around me turned black.

If God is really up there listening, please, let me be with this man in my next life. Let me rewrite the stars.