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agentnico · 8 months ago

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Kung Fu Panda 4 (2024) review

Jack Black’s new version of “Hit Me Baby One More Time” is great. In all honestly all of Tenacious D’s covers are superb. Their take on “I Think I Love You” for Croods 2 slaps as hard as Will Smith’s palm against Chris Rock’s face. Apologies, I just watched the new Bad Boys trailer so that momentary awards moment has sprung back into my mind.

Plot: After Po is tapped to become the Spiritual Leader of the Valley of Peace, he needs to find and train a new Dragon Warrior, while a wicked sorceress plans to re-summon all the master villains whom Po has vanquished to the spirit realm.

For some reason I presumed Kung Fu Panda 3 was the ending to the trilogy and the story was over. Then again Hollywood wants to keep making more money and this animated franchise has been highly successful for DreamWorks till now, so of course it was only a matter of time. To give them props though, DreamWorks has been on a bit of a hot streak recently with The Bad Guys - a visually-pleasing heist flick; Croods 2 - hilarious riot; this year’s Orion and the Dark - a fun concept with a mind-bending ending; and of course Puss in Boots: The Last Wish which is an animated masterpiece. There, I said it. The Puss in Boots sequel is fantastic and I won’t hear otherwise! As such even though the trailers weren’t showing too much promise, I went into Kung Fu Panda 4 optimistically, hoping it’s not just a needless cash-grab.

Right, yep, it’s a cash-grab through and through. You can tell the writers were really trying to milk some kind of an idea for a plot, and all they could come up with is Po needing to find a new Dragon Warrior in his place. Not the most original concept as is, and one that in the end feels really rushed, and his choice for his replacement is one that feels unsatisfying. The main villain also is really weak. A chameleon voiced by Viola Davis, and though visually the shape-shifting gimmick works really well, narratively this character has hardly anything to do, let alone be in any way intimidating. I recall in one of the previous films the villain was Lord Shen, who was introduced as someone who has killed Dragon Warriors before. What’s the scariest thing this chameleon now does, you may ask? She lightly pushes someone down the stairs. That’s it.

Another rushed aspect of the movie is that many voice actors from the previous films are needlessly ditched either with a lame excuse for their absence, or not giving them any lines and the characters appearing in silence. Like a big selling point in the marketing is that we get to see all the villains from the previous entries come back. A fun idea, however aside from Ian McShane as Tai Lung the other villains only appear as if they’re in a silent movie. Are you telling me that DreamWorks really couldn’t afford to get Gary Oldman to record a couple of lines on his phone and send them over? It’s like if Spider-Man: No Way Home had all the old Spidey villains from previous films come back, but they just stand about silently doing nothing. How crap would that have been? So yes, this really cheapens the movie.

Visually the film looks great. It’s mad to see how the animation has progressed as this series of movies has gone further. Particular attention has been given to the background environments that look gorgeous! Great use of colours and detail. A chase sequence through a city of thieves is a particular eye-popping set piece, that even gives Hans Zimmer the small opportunity to have some fun with the music score during it.

As for the voice cast - Jack Black is a charisma machine! He’s an icon and of course Po is just Jack Black being himself, but he has so much energy in his line delivery that he carries this movie fully on his shoulders. Awkwafina is also in this movie. Look, the reason I’m pointing that out is that if one looks at her filmography since 2019 she’s voiced characters in Little Mermaid, Migration, Kung Fu Panda 4, Bad Guys, SpongeBob: The Movie, Raya and the Last Dragon, The Dark Crystal Netflix series, Angry Birds Movie 2…. That’s so much!! What does she have on these animation studios that they keep hiring her? She’s not the only female voice actor out there. And I’m sorry, she’s not even that great of a voice actress, and I wasn’t a fan of her here either. Dustin Hoffman kind of just lingers about questioning his life, Bryan Cranston and James Hong have some amusing co-dads banter, Ian McShane being back as Tai Lung was lovely, and Ke Huy Quan is the usual ball of excitable energy that he always is.

Unlike Puss in Boots where the wait for the sequel was more than worth it, Kung Fu Panda 4 feels as if the franchise may have run its course and the writers have simply ran out of ideas. There’s a “been there done that” aura surrounding this whole movie, and again it’s not terrible, but more so just passable. There’s nothing new here, simply retreading old territory. I’m sure if you take your kids with you to see it though they’ll probably have a good time. Probably. That “Hit Me Baby One More Time” cover though - hell yeah!

Overall score: 5/10

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rimouskis · 8 months ago

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Hi this is a manifesto about a band, their albums, and what love can mean in music. It's long. You have been warned!

X Ambassadors' new album Townie is such a delightful, welcome return to form for them as a band. Prior to Townie, their album The Beautiful Liar didn't land with me and sounded like a departure from their raw sound -- it was overproduced and packed full of sounds and beats and instrumentals that didn't sound like the organic band I knew and liked.

But it wasn't until I heard Townie that I realized it wasn't just the sonic experience I was missing... it was the lyrical throughlines of the rest of X Ambassadors' work, which were totally absent in The Beautiful Liar and come ROARING BACK in Townie.

Since their 2013 and 2015 EPs Love Songs Drug Songs and The Reason and first album VHS, X Ambassadors' story as a band has been about hometowns and what it means to outgrow them, leave them, hate them, and miss them. From the sound of a car turn signal in "Giants" (which laments the last of the hometown heroes) to the lyrics I hope we stay / thick as thieves / butter and bread / pillars of colonial homes in "Unconsolable", they were firmly situated in their suburban listlessness.

They integrated a literal Y2K time capsule into VHS, an album named for millennial childhood nostalgia. They begged for success and a way to escape where they grew up (boring, small, conventional) and they got it by the time they released Orion on 2019, which wrestles with them growing up and settling into adult problems but their home is still buried in the heart of them. I maintain that "WASTELAND" is their best song of all time because of how it captures the way their hometown has their hooks in them, and how they seek comfort in its hollowness. Like...

It's an acknowledgement that even after two EPs and an album about wanting to escape where you're from, you will always, forever be from there, and sometimes that's where you belong, even at your lowest.

The Beautiful Liar in 2021 was X Ambassadors' attempt at a concept album, and while I appreciate them having a vision and going for it, I simply don't think they're good at telling stories about fictional worlds and people. Even when they draw inspiration from their own lives (like the story of the blind girl), it isn't THEIR story, and their story is what makes them sound like X Ambassadors.

Townie is, as its name implies, is an unfiltered, echo-y, lament of failing and going back home. The production sometimes makes it sound like it was recorded in a garage, with ugly reverb and warbling sound levels. If VHS is the story of a hometown garage band trying to make it, Townie IS the album that band puts out. It's a distillation of the band's identity into sound. It IS them.

The lyrics of Townie are heartbreaking. They're about a 30something looking into the mirror and seeing his teenage self again. "Women's Jeans" aches about losing yourself. "Start a Band" is reaching a hand out and inviting your teenage self to do the thing that will save you: music. There's so much tenderness for oneself in the album, seeing the child within and wanting to save them, both back then and now. "Your Town" is a demand to remember your hometown, while "Sunoco" is that same teenage boy saying he's going to die in this town, and this godforsaken town will be what kills him (from "Smoke on the Highway"):

I hope I've made my case. The album bleeds this band's blood. It's perfect.

And, additionally, it unlocked something I've always been fussing at with this band but never really put words to until now: this band is about their hometown, but they're also about two brothers loving each other.

For context, the band's lead singer is Sam, and the keyboardist is his brother Casey, who has been blind since birth. Brotherhood and blindness have always been mainstays in their music, from the obviously titled "Brother," which references a lack of sight...

...to "Unconsolable" with its cane and hoping to stay thick as thieves, as the columns holding a house up...

...through the use of braille when talking about their album ORION, chiefly it's song "HOLD YOU DOWN," which remains one of my favorite love songs of all time:

[a tweet which translates directly to "i’ll hold y d{n”]

I've always understood the song to be a proclamation from Sam to Casey (the braille, the "holding" [he walks Casey onstage at their shows], the lights "going out," the "faceless" crowd, the fact that the music video for this song is just Sam and Casey on a piano as old home videos of their childhood play). But it wasn't until I listened to "Follow the Sound of My Voice" on Townie that I realized what makes this band X Ambassadors is the love songs on every album from Sam to Casey.

Forgive me for pasting half the lyrics here, but you NEED to see them:

It's a love song.

This is a love song from a brother to another. So many of their songs are purely love songs from Sam to Casey. It's beautiful. It's why their hometown matters. It's where they're from, where they grew up, what made them.

As someone with siblings, their stories hit me in a critical space that isn't touched upon by a lot of other music. Love songs aren't just about lovers. They're about the people you need, and sometimes, if you get lucky, that's your family.

Anyways, this is to say that you should give Townie a listen. I think you should start with this song, but really just start anywhere. Listen. Be held.

#sorry this is like. my everything.#this BAND guys!!!! this BAND!!! BROTHERHOOD!!!!!#long post #Spotify

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swankedofsauce · 11 months ago

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Triple Threat - dnd campaign updates (2)

A story about three goobers

If you haven’t read the first campaign update here it is

Next session, session 5/6:

After waking up, Miles attempted to roll the bodies off the cliff to have any remaining conscious ones dead.

Two of the three he rolled woke up, those two being the bugbear bossman who beat the shit out of Blooper, and a hobgoblin who said something along the lines of skinning Orion for a rug (because. Tabaxi lore.)

The third was the half orc who Orion charmed and whatnot and he died and Orion set him on fire on our way back down.

Anyway- the bugbear started bookin it and Miles tried shooting him but was off by one point on his AC (also I wasn’t counting attack bonuses at this point since I was fairly new)

Anyways, he got away.

The hobgoblin on the other hand we ended up tying up and taking all his stuff so he couldn’t hurt us.

He apologized to Orion and told us that basically all the goblins here were being blackmailed and he had a family he needed to provide for.

We told him his boss got away and then he asked us to kill him, we didn’t. He told us basically if bugbear got away then his family was probably already dead.

Told us his name was Ogabond but we all just call him Og.

Two of the merchants were frkm Valica while Lloyd (Samantha Green’s husband) was from Farport.

So we all went to Valica first since that was much closer, and returned the the merchants back home.

But, there was a lot of bustling within the streets and it was super busy. Odd.

Orion went to ask someone what was happening and Orion and Miles specifically had not a clue what was happening, Blooper probably would’ve known.

Turns out there was a dragon festival happening and it’d be an event for the next three days. Pretty cool.

Also it was a colder day than usual (this will be important information for later)

The three of us decided to go chat with Korg, as we did. Orion and Miles decided to be very strange about it.

As- Orion snuck in, and Miles decided to book it in.

One important thing to note is that all three of these goobers are covered in blood.

Miles was tackled by a guard but teleported out of his grasp to right outside Korg’s office as Orion ended up there as well.

As for Blooper- he literally just asked the front desk where Korg was and if he was available.

We go to Korg and he’s happy to see us and we told him what was up and everything.

He was very impressed with us and offered us a job at the merchants guild in helping some beast tamers gather silk from spiders.

And he told us we should join the merchants guild etc.

We started considering the idea. As Blooper was on board while Miles? Not so much.

Anyway, Korg lent Dragon and Orion an armed guard carriage to return the remaining merchant(s?) back to Farport.

Korg said that we basically got rid of any threats that would be to and from the two places but despite that yk still heavily guarded.

Now I don’t remember everything to an exact point but basically a long rest happened somewhere and Og got out of his restraints and just lied down on the ground and Miles gave him a blanket.

Next morning Miles made fun of Blooper a little bit. Because. Their relationship is very much like overly competitive siblings.

Anyway, festival was setting up and during this we saw a beast keepers exhibit, which Miles was able to sneak over to and see two fey dragons who wanted out.

After telling the situation to Blooper and Og, we concluded we needed thieves tools to make this work. But. We are all broke.

What was the next best thing? Pickpocketing the public.

We got over 70 gold from that with Miles and Og pickpocketing and Blooper being once again- a good distraction.

We’re able to get some thieves tools and we waited for night to come.

Orion and dragon made it to farport and returned Lloyd home. I’m now realizing his name was actually Luke and not Lloyd.

But I guess that doesn’t matter too much because we never heard from him again. However we do meet another Lloyd within this later, so. They aren’t the same person I wanna make that clear.

Samantha was happy to have her husband back home and gave Orion a magical amulet and some money. Orion went back to mr Keraldac to get the money promised to us for solving the case.

He promised us 60 gold and doubled if we could take care of it.

After Orion struggling to remember how much he owed us, he was able to get the money.

Also. To any of you wondering: he loves the rats we gave him.

Also Miles named them since he tamed them and their names are Vanilla and Mayonnaise. Neither are white.

Anyway, got the money and Orion had to figure a way back. And I don’t really remember how it led to this? But basically Orion turned into a horse and tricked a farmer into thinking he had 4 horses and not 3, and Orion convinced all the horses to be free and follow him to Valica.

The farmer tried to get his horses back but Orion turned into a panther and terrorized this man and then left and eventually found his way back to Valica.

We all met back up and relayed the plan we were trying to enact.

We tried to talk nicely to the people and convince them to let the dragons go- that didn’t work. Also it was much more guarded now that it was night.

So what ended up happening was Og started throwing punches at Blooper as a distraction. Making a scene so the guards had to run to separate the two. Miles ran off and was able to free one of the feydragons with thieves tools but that took a solid minute and while that was happening- one of the guards started coming back.

Orion turned into a small black cat and went over to the guard and started purring rubbing up against the guards legs.

The guard thought he was super cute and assumed Orion was a stray cat and not a full grown man pretending to be a kitten. And took Orion back to his home.

Blooper was able to make the fight look big and believable with his time as a sailor spitting the most horrid words out of his mouth but the guards were able to separate them and it died down.

As for Miles- the guards now that the fight died down were coming back and the second feydragon was urging for them to leave.

Miles wasn’t having that, he was able to crowbar the cage open which- yea it’s loud, and that alerted the guards as Miles teleported into a back alleyway unseen.

Orion now at a random guy’s house- wasn’t his house, he was just in town for the festival. The guy had a very makeshift room and was trying to take care of him, Orion had to figure a way out so.

Once again.

Panther mode.

Terrorizing this man, and then booking it out of the home and through the town which he did get shot at a few times but was able to zoom off- into the water and then back out on land as himself again.

Gang met back up (hurray) and Orion was able to make quite the impression on both towns as “the demon cat” and.

Orion doesn’t even hurt people when he does that, he licks them and then runs off. (First man he did hurt by accident while licking his face, second guy he just licked his hair) and the beast keepers were blamed for that incident.

Session 7/8 (I don’t remember at all):

Miles was blessed with the ability to speak draconic by the fey dragons who thanked him in his “sleep”

We all went out and decided to take down the rest of the beast keeper place, as a lot of boats were boarding we tried to figure out which one it was- Orion easily figured it out.

Blooper was easily able to board the boat with Miles (sailor background)

And the two made it on easily.

Orion asked Og to make a distraction but not punch or hurt him in doing so- which Og decided instead to brawl with a random civilian.

That worked pretty well.

Orion turned into a beaver and started chewing at the rope docking the ship, unfortunately he was caught- as a guy bumped into him, just thinking it was weird but Orion then turned into a panther, clawing at the rope and then leaping onto the boat, which- that mixed with Bloopers move water to push the boat- was more than able to set sail.

Also the crowd seeing Orion made them wanna fight him but luckily Orion was mostly uninjured.

Keep in mind that Miles and Blooper have no fucking clue that this is Orion.

The two people on board the top deck were pretty shaken at this, and initially tried to shoot Orion but both Blooper and Miles were able to “animal handle” Orion and everything. The two on board gave them some rope to leash Orion up.

And then take him down below to put him with the others.

Once we got down, no one else was in the room so Orion turned back into himself.

And we saw three cages- one holding a blink dog, one holding this little mushroom lizard and the third holding an owlbear.

We tamed and freed all three of them.

The blink dog teleported out of existence, the mushroom lizard we ended up taking with us and we named him Celery. And the owlbear we got out and it caused fuckin havoc- screams being turned to silence very quickly and it terrorized a few townspeople as well before hopping into the sea and swimming off.

Orion blew a hole in the ship which ended up sinking it as we all swam off- oh right forgot to mention as well that while we were setting sail we saw Og getting arrested and looking beaten the hell up.

Anyway, we swam off and ended up going somewhere else so we wouldn’t be suspected as blooper drained all the water from us but now Celery was mad at us.

He tried to poison us all once- but that didn’t work, Orion just used a little gust of wind to blow it away. Miles picked him up and he tried to poison miles but that didn’t work, he was pretty exhausted after that so he just gave up.

We saw all the beast keeper circus people getting arrested meanwhile we got off Scott free.

And then went to a local jail to see where Og was.

After a few inquiries and questions we were able to get him and his stuff out, he was confused why we helped him and Blooper told him “because you’re our friend. We hope.” One of the many things he had on him as he gave him his stuff back was a bone carving of something that looked to be like a toy- and when we gave it back he started crying and whispering something in goblin, Miles was able to comfort him a little bit before we moved on to the next thing.

We went to Korg to see what was up and he seemed very stressed and out of it.

Asked him what was wrong and he said basically that this item had gone missing of a very valuable noble woman and he tasked us to go find out what was happening.

We followed a long trail of scattered jewelry/gold and stuff that led to a caravan of these guys who’s thing was knocked over, we told him basically what was goin on. That we worked for Korg and they pointed us in the right direction, leading us to a place at the very edge of the city called “the witches cauldron” we went in, and after some investigation we noticed a bookshelf out of place, which we pushed out of the way and delved into an underground basement.

The next two sessions, which I'll just label 9 and 10 for simplicity sake were "background sessions" that were done with the ranger (Miles/me) and cleric (Blooper) because the druid (Orion) was on vacation.

TW: abusive relationship, and drug mentions

This was how Blooper and Miles met- so those two were hired by a local farmer named Gregory to save a noble woman named Layani from an abusive relationship with the lord Ophellion.

Gregory and Layani were actaully in a relationship with one another and Layani's father- mr Goodman, was marrying her off so that the family could essentially earn more money and whatnot. Mr Goodman was noted not to be a bad person, just making a bad decision he was unaware of Ophellion being a terrible person.

Anyway, we had to figure out a way to sneak into the noble's party- gregory told us to get suits from a local tailor and tell him that he sent us there. we did- and started getting our suits done tailored after the underdark and oshabara, he told us he'd work fast and we'd have to check back in tomorrow.

In the meantime we spent our time going around town and getting any info we could on the marriage and lord Ophellion, a drug addict told us he beat someone alive and then went to have a nice conversation while blood was still on his fist and that the body got dragged away via an invisible force. basically just heard a lot about an invisible body guard.

We asked some guards what they'd known about it as well and they gave us the minimal info that they had- (I don't remember specifics)

We then went to scope out the house that was having the party and made some form of plan with Gregory that he'd set the outside gate on fire and Blooper and Layani would escape through the garden.

Also we ended up getting poisonous drug mushrooms from the addict on the streets so we could poison Ophellion's drink.

Our suits were done the next day and the gnome tailor helped us get ready for the party and told us not to run in our suits because the fabric was cheap and would easily rip.

We ended up heading to the party and that's where the first session ended.

next session of this two parter:

we basically lied our way into the party, scoped it out- Blooper was the life of the party while Miles just averagely fit in. Blooper gossipped with all the other nobles and tried to get information out from them, which led to finding out that most of the people at this party were for Ophellion and that a lot of people had good things to say about him. other than a few where one of them told him that Ophellion ripped him off in a deal and when he spoke out about it- he was basically left for dead and that he was only here to "make up" for it. and that if this person wasn't like a noble- he'd probably be dead.

Another person was an older dwarf man, who told Blooper that Ophellion got into some beef with his son and he was just here to "make ammends" despite the dwarf's hatred towards Ophellion. He also told Blooper that Ophellion got into an accident when he was a kid where his entire face burned off via fire- but with modern medicine he has not a single trace of it on his face. Ophellion and Layani finally made their way down as Ophellion was a half drow, and Layani was a half elf- she has two younger brothers and her mom- the elf. is dead. anywho- Ophellion is apart of the royal bloodline and was very distantly related to them, also found out that "An angel protects the royal bloodline" and it was a surprise to hear anything spoken of a "guardian" for Opehllion BECAUSE he's so distantly related.

Anyway, those two come down and while coming down someone on the steps got shoved by a seemingly invisible force. Anyway- Layani and Ophellion did their little dance and then invited everyone else to dance as well, Blooper and Miles both got asked to dance- Blooper accepted and danced meanwhile, Miles declined and decided to explore the house. He went upstairs and was immediately stopped by someone telling him that they were trying to keep the party downstairs- did that stop him? no. Ignoring this person completely he found Mr Goodman's room and broke in, stealing some letters off his desk (which I could not read, because that's Miles's character flaw, however much later we ended up reading them) the letters basically said "thank you so much for this opportunity" and "we're so grateful" etc. leaving he almost got caught again but teleported away then went to explore the home a bit more. He found Layani's room next and not a lot stood out. Other than bloody bandages on the bed that looked to be from a headwound. not great.

the music started to die down so he made his way back but as he did, He saw a small cut on Layani's head from above- not nearly to the severity of the bloody bandages, but oh shit healing magic exists.

Blooper questioned where the fuck Miles went and after a few "doin ur mom" jokes from the man who is basically 40 (he's 381, I play him like a 40 yr old) Layani and Ophellion were chatting with guests, line for gifts started forming and it was go time to enact plan. Blooper presented an ice scupture of dragons to present and tried to lure Ophellion away from Layani- Miles did as well but neither attempts worked. Miles got on Ophellions suspion radar as he was the only one in underdark colors and he didn't invite anyone from the underdark. fun.

During the time Blooper spent talking with the guests who wanted to talk to Ophellion and Layani, Blooper basically hinted at some stuff in the "I'm here to rescue you" sense as Ophellion went out to the bathroom. Miles followed him there and tried locking him in and burning the stalls down, that went. horribly wrong. Ivisible guy bonked Miles in the head as Ophellion got out and saw this goingg down- was about to brawl but Ophellion fear of fire so that made him panic and he ran off as the only weapon Miles was able to sneak in was a dagger, so he was able to teleport away, heal himself, thornwhip the weapon out of the big guy's hands and then burn him- Ophellion spent most the fight cowering which Miles threw some flames at him which snapped him out of it, as now guards started getting alerted- all the while Blooper kinda got the gest of something being up and he got Layani to come with him as he tried to get his and Miles's stuff and leave. Layani had no clue what was goin on, as Blooper went outside and tried to distract some guards by shooting the signal for Gregory which worked as Gregory started setting fire to the gate, Miles got a bit beaten up but was able to leave by climbing the wall as everyones attention shifted towards both of the fires (outhouses and wall) we were able to get Layani free, safe and sound now with Gregory- but not without burning down her house by accident and committing treason and terrorism since a lot of nobles died at that party. (my bad) and now theres a 1,000 GD bounty on Miles' head. Also Layani confirmed all the terrible things about Ophellion and that the head wraps were indeed because of him and she gave Blooper an amulet that casts cure wounds once a long rest and that it was a gift from Ophellion incase he "went too far"

Also, she was going to be Ophellion's third wife.

Ophellion is unfortunately still alive as every cleric was on to helping him recover. surely this wont have any dire consequences. surely not.

That’s where I’ll leave this part at its end :)

Next part is right here:

#dnd #dungeons and dragons #d&d #dungeons and dragons campaign #dnd campaign #dnd update #dnd updates #campaign update #dnd campaign updates #dungeons and dragons campaigns #dnd campaign update #ttrpg #triple threat #dnd triple threat

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